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deformedcat · 2 months

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The 5 love language

pairing: artist male y/n x childhood friend oc

warning: vomiting, stalking, obsessive behaviour, gore, open ending, not proof read, v rushed 📣📣

Valentine's Day, a day to spend with your loved ones, something you didn't have.

Forget spending Valentine's day with anyone- you had work at the convenience store. Sure, you're an artist, but money won't magically appear onto your kitchen counter.

Despite that, it didn't bother you as much as the sight you saw around you that day. (though bother might not be fitting, more like envious) There were couples everywhere on dates, holding hand and showing their affection towards each other. Bleh. (translation: when is it my turn?)

Either way, you could complain all you want but life still goes on. Sighing, you walk towards your apartment, staring down at your phone to avoid the sights of couples. It wasn't until an envelope at your door caught your attention.

The envelope had a simple yet design with a heart shape sticker on it, you hesitantly take it and enter your apartment.

After sitting on your couch for abit, you cautiously and gradually opens the letter, wary of any potential pranks, but nothing happened.

"Dear y/n

Happy Valentine's day, well, it's not Valentine's day yet but it will be soon.

I've always had a big crush on you, but i never gotten the chance to confess to you directly. Truth to be told, i'm not a courageous person, but you give me the strength to do so today :).

You are the most strongest, admirable person I've met. Whenever i listen to your music, I'm hit in awe with how talented you are. I fall even harder everytime i see you. Your presence is already enough for me to keep going.

Do you know the saying "the 5 love language"? They are words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch. I would love to know which one is your love language, but instead of asking, I want to let you experience all of them. I aim to make you feel loved in every way possible, starting with words of affirmation!"

..Ah.

A secret admirer,,?

You honestly didn't know something so cliche that would be done in a high school romance movie would happened to yourself, in real life.

The rest of the kettle had you fuming like a kettle, was this person a fan of poets? They sure had their way with words.

As sweet as the letter sounds, you couldnt help but feel crept out by this, how much does this person knows you? Do you even know this person?

You could only hope that it's not someone creepy, like a stalker.. You opened your phone and take a picture of the letter, sending it to your childhood bestfriend.

y/n:

photo.jpeg

hyeon:

what's this?

y/n:

love letter,

saw it in front of my

apartment

hyeon:

does someone have a lil crush on little y/n :0?

y/n:

hyeon:

Daniel's got a competitor 😄

y/n:

NEVER

im forever loyal to daniel

👎👎

hyeon:

haha

why are you showing me this?

y/n:

idk

felt a lil crept out

dont u think its weird??

how did they know where i lived? idfk who they are

hyeon:

hmm, thats true.

maybe it's a neighbour? they mentioned they could hear your music, they might be living around your area ?

y/n:

that make it even worse

hyeon:

lock your doors and windows, you wouldnt want to entice your little 'admirer' to break in do you?

y/n:

gtg, bye

hyeon:

i was just joking D:!

I'll be back from Russia soon, i promise <3

y/n

mm, maybe dont.

take care tho

A few days went by and nothing happened, you were beginning to wonder if the letter was just a prank from the kids around the area.

Regardless, you didn't care, you were to tired from your work ealier. Getting yelled at by your manager in front of the customers, for something rather silly. (you looked really tired but manager took it as "mf u dont like ur work isit) This was far fron the first time, and not the worst thing that had happened, but it didn't make it less draining.

you went into your apartment, turned on the light and fell right onto your couch. Rent was due in 3 weeks,, you were mentally preparing yourself to starve for the next few days to be able to have a roof under your head.

everything was tiring you out, and you just want a car to come running into you already, but the house isn't going to clean itself. You had to do chores because you have been putting off chores for a few days now. It's going to pile up the more you tell yourself "i'll do it tomorrow." so you pushes your body off the couch to start.

maybe you can start by taking out the trash.

problem was, the trash was missing. you stared at the empty, new plastic bag over the trash you didn't remember replacing. are you hallucinating?

you went over the sink to wash the dishes, to find them cleaned and kept neatly inside the cabinet. huh.

you must be going crazy, you were sure you did not wash those dishes nor keep them. even if you did, you wouldn't store them as neat as this.

are you going insane?

you quickly check the laundry, and sure enough, they were all done up. the dirty clothes were washed, the one that you didn't bother folding was folded and put away in your bedroom. Neatly.

was your landlord here this morning? Even if he was, he wouls never done something like this. He only ever told you to stop being so lazy and clean the messy apartment. He even once demanded you to clean everything up while be watched but thats it.

you hit your head against the wall, hard, to check if you had not actually fallen asleep on the couch and this was all just a dream. you winced at the pain on your forehead, that sure gave you an answer that youre not hallucinating.

maybe you're just overworked..?

you sat on your bed, noticing a familiar envelope with another sticker on your pillow.

what the fuck.

you opened the envelope, which in it read,

"dear y/n,

Surprise, it's an act of service this time! you're so hardworking that you tire yourself out,, so i decided to do somethinf to lighten the load for you. Remember to take a break when you need it okay?

I also cooked dinner for you, it's your favourite :). They're in the fridge, please enjoy, it's not healthy to starve yourself.

Eternally yours,

Your secret admirer 💌"

you wanted to kill yourself.

your stalker is in fact, a stalker.

how did they get in your house?

how did they know your habits?

you didn't even bother eating the food in the fridge, letting it sit there as you spend the night searching for cameras in your house.

y/n:

hyeon,

they broke in

the mf that sent the letter broke in

photo.jpeg

hyeon:

broke in?

how? didn't i told you to lock the doors and windows?

y/n:

idfk hyeon

they broke in and like

did my chores

and even cook dinner for me

saying its an act of service

hyeon:

are you safe?

y/n:

i dont know am i

i know this sounds weird af but im

not joking

i dont feel safe in my house rn

hyeon:

call the police.

y/n:

with what evidence

tell them that someone sent two envelope, broke into my bouse, did my chores and cooked a meal for me??

ill sound like a maniac

then they'll send me to a mental hospital

hyeon:

you'll never know unless you try,

y/n, this sound dangerous, your life could be on the line bere.

please just call the police and see if they can do anything about it.

do you still have that previous letter with you?

y/n:

yeah

hyeon:

show that to them, including the new one.

y/n:

ill try

hyeon:

okay.

i wish i wasnt in russia right now.

im so sorry, please wait a bit more, ill come back soon.

update me whenever you can.

y/n:

dont be sorry,

thank you.

you never had a peaceful sleep for the next few days, the only thing keeping you sane is messaging hyeon everyday.

you have been so worn out from what happened that night. you had gone to the police, but after they didnt found anything suspicious in your house besides the two letter, they then left and told you to contact them if anything happened.

useless. you texted to hyeon.

neither did the police nor you could find any hidden cameras around your house, but that didnt mean you were safe. they could missed them, or not search at the right place.

you were sitting on your couch, scrolling down your phone to distract what had happened. suddenly, someone knocked on your door.

you groaned, thinking it was your landlord, you got up, walked to your door and peek from the peephole. nobody was there.

you opened the door slowly, immediately notices the stench behind the door. sitting on the floor in the dark hallway were two boxes wrapped like gifts with a gold ribbon.

crimson liquid was seeping through the boxes, on top of one of the box was an envelope, the one you had received a few days prior.

you suppressed the urge to throw up as you felt your breath getting quicker and shallower. you opened your phone and called the police and messaged hyeon

y/n

hyeon

when the polices arrived, they opened the boxes and envelope. one of the polices seems panickes and quickly rushes to you bringing the envelope, making you read it.

"Dear y/n,

Two, the number of hands one would need to do a heart, i thought it would be romantic to give you two gifts. After all, what's Valentine's day without gifts?

I've seen the way those two treated you, i couldnt stand watching them mistreated you. How prideful that human trash must be to push all his mistakes onto you then punishes you? Just because he's a manager? You don't deserve that, dear, so, this is for you.

And that bastard landlord of yours, the way he stares at you and put his hand at you is so disgusting. If he's gonna look at you like that, he don't deserve his eyes. Just because he's your landlord, does not mean he can put his hand on you like that, so i cut them off.

i hope you enjoy the gifts, dear. I guess this can be considered to be acts of service too? I look foward to spending some quality time with you. I can't wait to finally have you in my arm.

ps. inside the hand of your manager is a necklace. <3

Eternally yours,

Your secret admirer 💌"

you glanced at the content of the boxes, puking at the side after seeing the blood hand of your manager and your landlord's head with his eyes gouge out.

you felt helpless.

you had nowhere to go.

you didnt wanna stay here anymore, you dont feel safe anywhere.

you just want to die.

as the police patting your backs and gives you a bottle of water, you receives a text message on his phone.

hyeon:

hey, i'm here now.

i'm sorry i couldn't reply to you earlier, i just arrived in south korea.

y/n:

hyeon thank god

please

can i stay at your place for a while

i cant stay here anymore

hyeon:

Of course, i'll pick you up.

when you finally met hyeon, you collapsed into the taller man's arm, letting the tears out you have been holding in as hyeon holds you close, embracing you in much needed warmth and comfort.

"here," hyeon placed down a plate of fried rice in front of you, coincidentally it being your favourite food but you dont have any appetite after what happened.

"i can tell you havent been eating well, it's all i have at the moment, but its better than nothing."

you appreciated him, but didnt wanna eat anything at the moment, the sight of your landlors was still fresh in your mind.

"thanks, but i feel really sick right now." you felt bad for putting hyeon through the trouble, only to turn it down in the end. "i'll heat it up and have it tomorrow."

"maybe you at least drink some water?"

"sure." Hyeon was already pouring a warm cup of water for you, you were glad you at least had hyeon to come to.

you two spent a while in an awkward silence, it was like hyeon would not ask what had happened until you were ready to talk about it yourself.

"do you have work later?" you asked to distract yourself.

No, hyeon had alarms around the house. He would be notified of any suspicious activities detected.

"no, my manager said he'll take care of it."

"oh.."

then the silence were back again, until hyeon opened his mouth.

"are you going to sleep now?"

"I.." you were sure you would not be able to sleep tonight, you do not know where that stalker was, what if they too breaks into hyeon's house? will you put him in danger as well?

Even so, you're still on edge.

"do you want to share a room?"

"what?"

"you don't have to sleep alone when i'm right here for you to cuddle with!"

you sighed, "hyeon-"

"no really, maybe im just overprotective but i really dont want to leave you alone. We can catch up on the past month, and maybe if i talk enough, it might put you to sleep?"

you cried into his arms for the second time that night.

you could not remember the last time you was help to sleep, you didnt think there was ever a time actually. when he slept besides hyeon, the latter would always wrap his body around you like a koala.

not that it surprised you, hyeon had always been handsy with you ever since the two was young, but only around him.

whenever they ate together, hyeon would reach his hand out to wipe a grain of rice or a drop of sauce off your face.

whenever they play fight, hyeon would always hug you as a way to "immobilize you". when hyeon suggested decorating the house for Valentine's day to take your mind off of things, he would hold your hand and guide you through tying ribbons and hanging decorations.

And when you still couldnt stop the anxiety from rising, hyeon would hold you so close, no matter what time it is, he would remind you to breathe, and prepare plastic bags for you in case you pukes.

Heck, he even made sure that you had fallen asleep first before he would.

you felt safe by hyeon's side.

On the morning of Valentine's day, hyeon was still asleep which was expected, he had waited for you to fall asleep the night before.

You carefully and quietly slipped out of hyeon's tight hold, and headed towards the washroom, you decided to clean hyeon's office then cook a meal for him.

walking toward hyeon's office, you noticed a few paperwork on his table. It seems like it was the paperwork hyeon's had been doing last evening.

His handwriting was exceptionally neat, it had been quite some time you last seen it, but you could remember envying the man for having such a neat writing.

you noticed a half opened file on the floor, you picked it up and read the content of the files out of curiousity

they were mostly a bunch of statistics and numbers, percentages and whatnot. you wanted to stop reading but you felt drawn in his handwriting. To you, it looked familiar, like you've seen it before.

you stared longer at the words until you realized,

realized why he found it familiar.

you flipped to the next page, why did hyeon have your landlord personal informations?

you felt arms hugging you from behind, "what are you doing, snooping around my work like that? what if it's confidential?'

you didnt answer.

"y/n?" hyeon seemed to noticed you tensing up, "sorry, did i scare you that badly? you just seemed so focused on those papers, i just had to-"

"Hyeon."

"Yeah?"

You didnt know what to say, you did not know what to ask. You didnt know how to ask him.

you wish you were just dreaming.

Because.. wasnt hyeon in russia all this time?

"y/n?"

Hyeon couldnt have been in south korea. He couldnt have went into your apartment. He couldnt have place those.. letters abd boxes in your apartment if he wasnt even in the same country as you

ah.

"y/n, are you okay?"

"hyein,, can i take a look at your passport?"

"my passport? why?"

"i just want to.. confirm something."

Hyeon looked at you for a while, before letting go of you "sure, let me go get it."

As he went back to his room, you held ontobthe table tightly to avoid collapsing.

its okay.

you just had to look into his passport, then you would realize how dumb you are to suspect hyeon, the person that sheltered you when you had nowhere to go. the man that's your childhood friend who would sacrifice anything for you-

Hyeon returned, with his passport in hand. "here you go." you were about to take the passport from hum until you saw it

or more like the lack of it.

instead of handing the passport to you normally, hyeon had flipped it to the latest page. Hyeon had supposedly flew to russia first of december last year.

The last time he travelled, according to the passport,

was back in june.

"you were wondering about this, werent you?" hyeon stepped closer towards you, "when did it click?"

"your handwriting you bastard."

"ah right, that was my mistake, but dont you think it took too long for you to notice?"

Hyeon took the papers one by one, putting them together neatly, as if he was having the most normal and mundane conversation.

As if he wasnt the one that sent you all of that letters.

As if he was not the one who broke into your apartment.

As if he didnt sent that severed head and hands to you..

"i guess i should expected that, after all, i'm never the one whom you'll ever have eyes for, am i?" he smiled bitterly.

"Hyeon.." you wanted to be proven wrong, you wanted to be wrong so bad.

you wanted to believe hyeon was not capable of this.

you wanted to believe him, your closest friend, would never do such thing.

instead, you received a hug that felt so cold.

you wanted to strangle hyeon so bad. you wanted to strangle yourself.

you just felt so weak.

as much as you wanted to avoid it, the clues were all right in front of you, mocking you.

there was no one in the world who had heard and appreciated your music, who observed and knew so much of your lifestyle and habits besides ivan.

when the puzzle started coming together, you could feel yourself falling apart.

"so y/n, please tell me:

what is your favourite love language?"

you just want to die.

[draft messages]

y/n:

thanks for taking me in

im glad i hv u in my lufe

you better not tell anyone i said this,

but i dont think theres anyone else i trust

anyone else more than you

thank you.

a/n: zzzzz goodnight (disappears)

#male reader #male yandere #bottom male reader #x male reader #iwanttosleeppeladw #sub male reader #mayi'swriting—

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janesgms · 11 months

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Astro Notes - 08

✨️ General Edition ✨️

I hope this makes sense but having venus overlays in the houses related to your venus sign is one of the best placements to have in a romantic relationship, even if is not a house known for being romantic. For ex: there's a boy I'm getting to know who's a gemini venus, and i am an aquarius venus, his venus falls in my 11th house and my venus falls in his 3rd. These 2 houses are known for friendships but in this case they work differently and we have a lot of chemistry and lovey feelings for each other, far from being a friendly connection!

In my experiences, having moon conjunct moon is a total hell to me. There's just a lot of "emotional" tension who gets unbearable most of the times and you can be so similar that you don't understand each other and may hate each other. I think this placement at its worst is a war of egos 24/7. Also being deeply hurt by anything the other do, you may feel much more emotional than the usual. But idk bc every placement works differently for everyone. And this can be similar to moon opposite moon, even though I still prefer moon opp moon over moon conjunct moon.

HOWEVER, having moon in the same sign but not in a conjunction is such a paradise to me, it's truly a blessing to have in any type of relationship because u understand each other in a very nurturing way, so sweet, you feel at ease with this person.

And talking about moon, the sweetest thing to have, even if cliche, is definitely moon trine moon or moon in the 4th house overlay, it's way better than conjunctions or oppositons, because these two are very intense and may never end well, even if you felt like you've found a soulmate at first, it's truly karmic, but with the moon trine moon/moon 4H overlay is so good, specially if they are in the same synastry >>>

Moon 7H overlay it's a weird feeling for me as the moon because i feel so appreciated by the house person. The house person usually sees the moon person like an inspiration, and they find the moon so but SO perfect at everything, you have no idea, sometimes i even get shy. If you're looking for someone who worships you or just really compliments you naturally then find someone who has their 7th house in your moon sign (thank me later). Also i feel like the 7th house person do not see any imperfection in the moon person and can help them to overcome their insecurities. When I'm the house person, I even get jealous at the moon person because they're treated literally like royalty. Just remembering that this also depends on other aspects and the whole synastry guys bc the 7th house can be a tricky one, so don't come at me later, but for now I'm loving it

Something interesting is that i keep attracting guys with cancer/pisces venus or mars and i literally have pisces venus and cancer mars in my mars persona chart 🤯 pls leave me alone i don't want uuuuuuu,,, jk but i think this is cause I need to deal better with this energy internally so they're necessary for my jouney 🔪🔪

Now talking about the apocaliptic 8H and 12H synastry. There was a guy I've had something with, I'm gonna call him T, so T has his venus/asc/SATURN!!!! in my 12th house and mars/uranus in my 8th house, and i have my moon/mc/juno in his 12th house and venus/chiron/neptune in his 8th house, and let me tell you this was one of the most painful things i've went through, this person left unhealable scars in me, and the worst is that it seemed like a fairytale to me most of the times. So, summing it, this synastry is hella karmic and can be dangerous to your mental health if you're not careful, but everyone needs to go through it to learn something in this life so we have to move on. But i'm not saying it is terrible all the time because it depends on both people's maturity, I just had the bad luck of sharing it with a heartless person, and I was the one hurt in the end 🖤 but anyways life goes on i still cry to this date thinking about T

Talking about karmic relationships, i believe South Node in 4H in synastry is a huge indicator of past life conections, or just a comfortable feeling generally if not this kind of connection, so that can explain why you can attract certain ascendants more than others. For ex: I always attract cancer ascendants and my south node falls in their 4th house

Another ascendant I attract a lot is sagittarius but this ain't good always because they can be so stressful when underveloped. And this can be to the fact that my sun/mercury falls in their 1st house and my moon falls in their 7th house so they feel pulled to me in a sense? But as you all must know these overlays can be super superficial at times and I don't enjoy it always as the planet person... But overall I still love my sagittarius risings most of the time <3

There's something so sweet about Taurus Mercuries when they're talking that i find it underrated, yes everyone talks about how they have sensual voices but sometimes they're just cute. There's an undeniable charm in the way they talk like i just want to hear them talk all the time (this applies to both vedic and western)

Now to be honest one of the best placements for physical enchantment in synastry is ASC in the 5H overlay, as the asc person i just feel so much attracted to the asc's appearance and aura it's crazy, but i wanna experience it as the asc person too (hey aries risings how u doin)

This one's also a cliche but all of the twins i know have at least one placement of their big 6 in gemini! also as a gemini moon i've always attracted a lot of twins in my life and i've always wanted to have twins, still a dream though. But it runs in my mom's genetics since in her family there are thousands of twins so i still have chances guys!!

Not to brag or anything because i say it basing on other sag mercuries I know *yes we apparently attract each other like moths to flames lol*, but sagittarius mercuries are so fun to talk to when they want to, and specially online, they text like the most excited person ever with a lot of emojis and all of that, also their laugh are always gonna be loud or straight funny, be it personally or virtually. But i realize we only do that to who we really like and obviously the house placements also matters!! But yes independtly of anything ALL (I really mean all of them) sagittarius mercuries always want to be right and have the last word even if they know they're obviously wrong

Aries venus in the composite chart is so hot. Like i know it's in detriment but is just really fun and fiery to experience, specially if the house is favourable. Also, a lot of sparks coming out from each other when they're together and a palpable chemistry, everyone ships you two so get together already damn

Aquarius mercuries and their diction that makes them look like they're talking a language from another planet sometimes. Also, they seem like they're always talking weird things all the time, in a good way of course, I love them my babies! Also, they always seem to know random facts about literally everything and they have such a diverse taste for music, movies, ANYTHING. But they can be very misunderstanded sometimes because they're not gonna say what people expect them to say. But anyways aquariuses and sagittariuses always seem to get each other because they have similar tastes.

7H placements are people pleasers to the point where is destructive to themselves, but they can't help it, it's in their nature to do this. They all need a hug right now I love you, please take care of youself more and learn how to impose your boundaries, it's for your own health (a self-criticism)

stay with this dancing lady right here guys bye (me in the next party)

#astrology #astro notes #astro observations #astro community #aesthetic #astrology notes #astrology observations #astrology aesthetic #astro memes

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ccuniculusmolestus · 6 months

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Trip to Rome NSFW? I can't help but wonder if the revelation of the diary happened after they did it. I'M LIVING FOR THE ANGST

Ah yes, a fellow angst connoisseur! (Winterbunny fans, seek help) (/affectionate)

Also I rlly hope I amswer this ok I've written and deleted like 1920192 paragraphs bcd I wanna answer properly LOL

I'm working on a fic for this but I seriously don't know what order to put things in, or maybe I'm just lazy!!

I would like to think it makes most logical sense if:

They're fighting a lot during the Rome trip

A fight turns kinda steamy idk

They have a good night's sleep after thats over.

Henry's migraine has been coming on for a few days at that point but hits full force the next morning

BECAUSE Bunny is relatively more comfortable being closer to Henry now* he becomes even more entitled and snoops around for his diary cuz he's bored (I think Henry was bed ridden for a couple days at that point)

We all know, that like, Bunny didn't really care about the murder. I domt even think he cared about being left out. I think what REALLY got to him was the stuff Henry had written about him. We only know about "cuniculus molestus", which is relatively tame, but knowing the extent of Henry's annoyance with Bunny, I think its safe to assume he REALLY went in whenever he chewed Bunny out in his diary

Like, imagine you have a friend who you get very close to, thinking that you've made a nice connection with someone (which is rare for you). Then you start feeling like this friend, once you guys become close, is using you for your money. THEN this friend starts acting like an entitled brat and practically makes your life Hell.

I'm not saying Henry was obsessed to the point of just filling his diary with "raaarghhh i hate bunny he is so stupid dumb bitch" but whenever he WOULD write abt Bunny it would be callous, like, detached at best, cruel/insulting at worst.

*this is purely my headcanon, based on no like, factual evidence (yet) but I think Henry and Bunny were physically intimate way before the Rome thing, but they just never talked about it, or acknowledged it outside of the moment of close proximity (mainly because Bunny didn't want to face his possible bisexuality diagnosis and Henry just couldn't be arsed). Plus it happened rarely. I feel like they'd become more physically comfortable with each other immediately after they were intimate (caressing each others heads/petting one another, leaning on one another, like soft intimacy) but afterwards they'd kinda avoid one another for a few days, and especially avoid touching each other (like even the brush of a hand) because it would make Bunny uncomfortable (hes homophobic)

Based on this I think

Bunny felt even more entitled than usual to Henry's belongings and personal space, so he went snooping around his stuff when Henry was dead asf

Also, based on their already established intimacy, Henry mightve written some cruel things regarding the more intimate parts of their relationship/vulnerable aspects of Bunny.

Because I guess he was like, "Hes not ever going to read it so I can just vent my frustrations here) (WHICH, I had a whole theory a while back about how Henry intentionally left his diary around for Bunny to read....so maybe he wanted to get the ball rolling to have an excuse to get rid of Bunny) (that's a link)

But also. Theres another possible twist , like, what if Bunny found the diary first? And the fight that ensues after turns into something else purely because they're being vulnerable with one another in the moment.

Henry, in his desperation to get Bunny to shut the fuck up, and Bunny, in his explosive anger (also, cliche movie scene moment 🤓 Bunny won't shut up and Henry's afraid someone might hear them and he's also lowkey enjoying Bunny screaming at him (toxic) so he just grabs him and kisses him)

Honestly I wanna explore both scenarios in two separate one-shots BUT like, I don't wanna be repetitive w my fics like the people (my 2 readers) probably want something new (they don't care)

#LOVE GETTI G ASKS #thank u for the ask!#i hate this ship its the worst btw #they give me a HEADACHE #me when the toxic gays are being toxic again #can they shut up #ask #the secret history #bunny corcoran #tsh #henry winter #tsh donna tartt #winterbunny

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spaceorphan18 · 8 months

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Okay guys! I have watched all of Hearstopper -- as picked by you!

And here are my thoughts!

I'm going to put it under a cut -- Idk if people are worried about spoilers? Idk.

My overall, quick thoughts are that I liked it! It's a well done show, and I'm glad that there's a celebratory LGBT+ youth show that isn't reliant on trauma porn in the way that Euphoria is. (I haven't seen Euphoria - but based on what I do know, it'd be too much for me.)

I think, though, I have some complicated feelings about the show, though, more so concerning my place in life and less about the show itself. But I guess some reflecting is at hand.

I liked the first season more than the second. Part of it, admittedly, might be because I spent the whole day binging it. And sometimes that's a hard thing in general. I had a nice day -- and as afternoon slipped into the evening, it kind of felt like one of those relaxing days where you curl up with hot cocoa on a snowy, winter day. It's comforting. I enjoyed my day - but it was probably too much by the end of it. I was getting antsy about moving on, so that's on me, and my issues of not being able to parcel things out.

I think the other part of it is the realization as the second season was playing that I've spent the last thirty years watching some kind of variation of the stories being told. And while I think it's great that Gen Z has this, and that the LGBTQ+ community has this, I feel like I've seen it all before. This isn't a criticism of the show -- it's more so that I don't think I'm invested in these kinds of stories anymore. It's kind of interesting, in a way, that it doesn't matter sexuality or gender or what age you're growing up in, there are some themes that are universal.

Alright - so some more specific thoughts:

I do like the Nick and Charlie pairing. They're very sweet together, and I think the show does a good job of exploring it as a growing, awkward teenage relationship.

I also like the way they've handled Charlie's eating disorder. I usually hate eating disorder story lines in media -- and this one was handled in a really nuanced way, and I think that's really cool.

I think one reason I didn't like the second season as much as the first, though, is that the first is a real exploration of Nick and Charlie -- with everyone else as a supporting cast. And the second season kind of falls into the pitfall of being a little too bloated as they try to expand on everyone. As well as -- making it about everyone coupling off and less about the friendship. Don't get me wrong, they make sure to show everyone as a supportive group, and that's great, but friendship dynamics just didn't factor as much, and I hate when shows get so caught up in romantic dynamics that that's all it focuses on. Plus, Nick and Charlie almost got pushed to the background of their own story.

I have never read the graphic novels or the web comic so I have no frame of reference -- but Charlie's sister is straight out of a comic strip. I don't know if that works as much on screen, but man you could tell. (I felt that way about early Tao, too.)

The family dynamic stuff of the second season was... fine. But, I really do love Olivia Coleman as Nick's mom. She does a lot with a little.

I like Tao and Elle as characters (and really like that being bi-racial and trans is part of her identity but not her whole character), and while their romance was telegraphed early on, I can't say that I'm all that interested in it. And I feel like across all media, the cliche of one person wanting to choose their career and their romantic partner has to deal with that just feels... tired.

(Honestly - I think there's a story here about how you think you are in love with someone - and you try to date them only to find out you're better friends, is a more interesting angle, but I knew it wasn't going to go that way.)

I do love Tao's mom though. She is a delight and I love her.

Okay, here comes probably my most controversial opinion. I really wasn't a fan of the f/f story. The problem is, unlike Nick and Charlie who get to be nuanced, real characters. The girls identities and story are completely tied to the fact that they are lesbians. They really aren't developed outside of their lesbianism and I find that really unfortunate. I'm glad there is a lesbian couple on the show - I feel like they're underserved in media as a whole, but I really just don't like this story line or these characters very much.

That said - I'm really glad that there's so much f/f friendship on the show, and that there are a lot of instances of females supporting each other.

And then there's Isaac. I really love him as a character, and I absolutely LOVE that they put asexuality on the show -- seriously, as someone who is borderline asexual, it's so, so refreshing to see a teen going through a lot of what I went through as a teen. My one problem is that as the show erases a lot of the friendship dynamics for romantic ones, Isaac gets a little lost. Isaac is on his own? Oh that's fine -- he has his books. Geez, c'mon show. Let him have one conversation with one of his friends about how he feels -- and less of his melancholy, balcony brooding. (Again - there were definitely group scenes where they made sure he was included - but let's face it, Isaac is still a third tier character.)

Okay, and then there's another big issue I had overall, which, again, is less to do with this show, and more to do how certain things are portrayed in teen media. I really kind of hate the notion that your troubles will be your troubles until you find a magic partner who makes all those troubles go away. The world... just doesn't work like that, and you will have so many people in your life who will love and support you, and I wish these shows didn't zero in on romantic relationships to save or fix you. I know the narrative wasn't trying to do this -- but sometimes I roll my eyes when it feels presented that you aren't worthy of being you until someone romantically interested validates you.

The kind of background love story of the two teachers I found amusing. They're both great minor characters -- I would totally watch a show about them. The rugby coach, too, is a fantastic character. I'm glad the adults in this show aren't complete buffoons.

Overall, the show, on a technical level, looks really good. I did love the little added animations that popped up -- in a way to show the graphic novel origins.

So yeah. Look. This sounds like I hated the show when I really didn't. It is very sweet, and I am looking forward to a third season. But I'm being nitpicky of things I've seen over and over in teen media for the past thirty years that, honestly, did detract my viewing pleasure. That said -- I do think stand by what I said earlier in that it's something great for people who are of the correct age, and who are experiencing these stories for the first time. There are so many worse alternatives that I enjoy the fairy tale-esqueness of this one.

#heartstopper #as chosen by you guys

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aurcls · 2 months

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HSHQTASK059: FAREWELL !

i know i already yapped in the admin post but let me continue <3

1: when did you join ? what made you join ? what do you remember from the plotlines that were current at the time ? where were you in life when you joined and where are you now ?

i joined in 2015 as a high school freshman, jfc ! i don't think there was anything major going on, the rp was very much a rich kids rp so the drama was chill and petty; entertaining but not that deep. one thing that made me join ( aside from my obsession with royals ) was the fact that phoebe tonkin - THE most popular fc at the time - was up for grabs. i thought it was meant to be !

2: which characters have you written over the years ?

errrmmm... merjem/kalla, olivier, livia, florencio, alexander, anneli, lixun, nicole, maryam, blazej, definitely some other characters whose names and existence i cannot remember

3: what is your favourite plotline that you've been part of ?

i think this is just nostalgia but i think olivier-viggo-armani-lykke-anton-etc era was my fave. artistically it's very hollow but i think the lightness of it all makes it my favourite. i also sort of view it as a testament of my own naivety and youth. i'm not saying i'm old now but i'm not 17 without a single worry. back then ( because i wasn't busy and i could sat in front of my computer for hours ) the plots moved quickly and the threads were really fun to follow. there weren't that many characters so everyone was, in a way, forced to write with each other so the plotlines were very interactive. i appreciate the organic way things evolved. ( i do have a soft spot for annexei but i think it's mainly bc i admire alexei's characterization so much and elisa's ability to depict depression )

4: what about other people's plotlines ?

i was insanely invested in the zulu conflict of 2020. it had so many moving parts and i think if it had only gotten a chance to evolve even further, it would have been on a whole new level <3

5: who is your favourite character from the ones you've played ? why ? what made you love them ? what made them so fun to write ?

i think nicole or olivier. nicole's plotline was so well defined that it was fun to write her. i loved her relationships and it was interesting to write someone older. i think she's a character i could write a book about but she wasn't the best for an rp setting ? getting a chance to be involved in the english drama was wonderful ! olivier on the other hand... i think he's just a fave because he lets me connect to the old days ? when rp was a top priority and everything was exciting and fun. i don't want this to sound like it isn't that anymore but times were different back then and i don't think it ever felt the same after maybe high school graduation ?

6: if you could relive a plotline, which would it be ?

i think the finale of the english plotline maybe ? or the insanity of the lawn chair thing. possibly the rise of olykke too <3 but honestly i would like to experience all of it again, as cliche as it sounds. i will very think of the nights i stayed up until 4 or 5 am just to write/read the dash. waiting for a reply was such an addictive feeling and idk where i'll find my replacement for it. it really breaks my heart and makes me feel very old to realize that i don't know if i'll experience the excitement again. those sleep-deprived nights were some of my best. i've said "it's just rp" a million times but honestly, rping itself is such an experience and i'm glad i've gotten to get the best version of it.

7: is there a plotline that you'd edit now if you could ?

i think i'd improve the kalla era's germany. i didn't do much with it.

8: what's a plotline you wish you would have been able to finish before closing or just write more of ?

i would have loved to finish aurel x araya story, i mean i can probably still accomplish that but nbskdgbjs there were big plans for the slovakians and it's a shame we never got to write it out on the dash. i think i would have enjoyed writing the inner struggle of blazej. he had a lot of potential but alas, it could not be !

9: what is your favourite ooc memory ?

i have two that stick out but my trip with serre ? we were on my sister's couch writing the stupid lawn chair saga and i think it was the first time in a long time that i had that much fun writing ! the second one would be me visiting evy because it was a surreal experience and i have to admit i was so socially awkward that evy's family probably thinks i'm weird nfgbkdsgbj i just think it's amazing that those two meetings could happen ? prior to hshq, i hadn't really believed in online friendships, everyone felt just too remote ! a special mention goes to this crackthread thing we wrote: link just a random memory though: i remember when we did those feedback surveys. we sorta forgot them but they were so important at that one point. other funny thing is our old adminooc blog. snapchat replaced it and then some years later discord replaced snapchat. we should bring the admin snapchat back btw @armanicatherina & @barbiebraganca

10: where can others find you if they want to get in touch ?

i'll be on discord !!! you can find me on the hshq server ( which we aren't deleting if i can have a say ;) )

11: what else would you like to say ?

i said a lot in the admin post but i actually had to "keep it short" so here i will say so many things that you wish i had edited this. for me rping has been an amazing way to connect with other people, learn about people through writing and to experience emotions that i wouldn't otherwise. some of the words i've read here have managed to capture thoughts that i hadn't been able to put into words and it's been amazing to see how differently people think but also how alike some feelings among different people are. i often try to wrap my head around the fact that this group's been going for eight amazing years. i've gone through a lot in those eight years and the existence of this group has brought me a lot of joy. i am sad to let go of it and i guess i'm in a bit of denial because i keep thinking that 1x1 rping exists and y'know... even if a group doesn't exist, threads can still happen. when i think about hshq and the plotlines i've read and written, one thing really sticks out to me and it's the way we shifted from a p basic rich kids rp into something intricate and sophisticated ( yes, we had a drug related nye event and we've had a fair share of petty fights ). the range of emotions people have been able to write and the psychological work they've done to write a convincing and very realistic humans is something everyone can be proud of. i don't know if i look like a sadist but i was most impressed by the depictions of sadness, guilt and self-loathing. in my opinion it's not easy to write a piece of sad prose without it being a bit melodramatic. aside from hshq's longevity, the most amazing thing has to be everyone's willingness to get involved. the plot drops that i wrote wouldn't have happened without your input and when it got too tough for me to write them myself, y'all stepped up and continued the plotdrops with your newsposts. as an admin, it's been so so so so so awesome that we've been able to put some responsibilities on the members and have you guys perform better than well. i think we did something unique here and i'm so proud of us as a group!!!! i wish i could flex about this irl because hshq's history and way of working is something extraordinary. i really wish i could properly put my love for hshq into words. i don't know how to express its meaning and influence in my life. i feel like it has helped me to improve my writing but more importantly it has taught me a thing of two about empathy <3 i really hope we'll stay in touch and if anyone comes to europe, or more spesifically finland, don't be afraid to message me bc i'd love to meet up !

#hshqtask059 #i'll do the task058 a bit later

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littlemessyjessi · 1 year

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"I Need A Favor": Naga Boyfriend Sef: Part Three

"I Need A Favor": Naga Sef: Part Three

Warnings: Some mature content. Monster boyfriend… if that can be a warning. Maybe language. Also, my unedited, un'beta'd work. Maybe my grammar because I'm a troll. Idk?

Monster Boyfriend x Plus Size Reader

Commissioned by the lovely @thickemadame

Thank you so much, darling! And I apologize that this took so long. I was devastated when I lost everything on my old computer and I am permanently scatter brained but still… I am appalled that it took my so long. I love you, darling!

Never in my life had I been so nervous for someone to be in my garden.

All this despite the fact that I had strangers in it all the time for photoshoots … and also the fact that Sef was my neighbor and literally saw it every day.

Though somehow this felt different.

While my nerves were turning my stomach into the equivalent of a washing machine with a brick inside… I was still quite proud of my the oasis that I had created in my time here.

The lush foliage and blooming flowers.

I'd put a lot of work into making sure that it was a garden that was beautiful year round and taking care to plant so meticulously so that when one thing was done another was coming to life.

Strategically placed stone pieces reminiscent of a garden some ancient greek goddess might've had.

Twinkling lights and no short amount of gorgeous focal points.

It was my pride and joy.

Despite the fact that I allowed strangers here for my side hustle all the time… it still seemed intimate to have a date here.

I'd never done that before.

I'd chose a simple outfit for the evening.

Something comfortable and flowy to accent my figure in an ethereal way but also cozy enough as to not add discomfort to my growing anxiety.

The scent of something cooking away caught my attention and l looked over the fence to see a trail of smoke spiraling into the air.

I stood on my tiptoes and peeped over the fence to see Sef standing at the grill.

I admired him for a moment before he began to chuckle.

"You know, I've heard of Peeping Toms before but perhaps I should call you a Peeping Tammy." he said before those vivid eyes of his flicked up to meet mine.

I was suddenly very grateful for the fence between us as I could feel the heat rise in my skin… and more importantly the weird face I pulled when I realized I'd been caught.

"Sorry, I smelled the food." I said.

"I'm glad to know you're hungry." he said. "I may have overcooked a bit but it's alright. Atleast, I know you'll be well fed with the leftovers this week."

"If it's as good as it smells there may not be any left." I said. "Would you like me to open the gate?"

"That would be great." he said, turning the vegetables on the grill. "I'll meet you in the middle."

I fiddled with the latch on my side and swung the gate door open at the same time he did his.

At the risk of sounding terribly cliche, it was like a moment in the moment where the two romantic leads finally see each other in a certain light.

And in a way… it was.

Despite the rather comical last twenty four hours or so… I had never really taken notice of Sef in this way.

Handsome?

Definitely.

Talented?

Without a doubt.

But I had never really, really looked at him as a pontential partner.

And I had to say… he was looking very good.

A slow smile spread across his lips, "You look absolutely breathtaking."

"Thank you." I said softly. "You look very handsome, yourself."

And he most certainly did.

He'd opted for a green button down that made his skin tone positively glow against it as well as matching his eyes incredibly well.

I was also very pleased to see that he hadn't completely changed back into his human form.

He was caught somewhere in between.

The legs were gone, replaced by his long tail and little scales dotted his skin here and there.

His eyes were the same beautiful color but if you looked closely you could see that the pupil of the eye was enlongated a bit.

Apparently, I had been quite too long and mistook my admiration for gawking.

"I, uh, I hope this is alright." he said gesturing towards his tail.

"Oh!" I started, shocked and perhaps a little embarassed that I'd made him uncomfortable. "Of- of course! Whatever you are most comfortable with. I, um, well I was just admiring you was all. I didn't mean to stare. You just… you look very handsome tonight and I was a little taken."

He smiled softly but only broke out into a laugh as I bumbled through my words again.

"Not to say that you're aren't always handsome! You are! You always have been! I mean, you know that. You see yourself in the mirror every day. Oh god, someone please shoot me to put me out of my misery. Excuse me while I go crawl under a rock and die now."

He erupted into further laughter before he gently took my by the arms, "Relax, sweetheart. It's quite the confidence boost to know that you're so taken."

"Oh, great. As if your ego needed anymore inflating." I said before I could stop myself.

The smile turned into a fond little smirk, "Ah, there's that sassy mouth I love so much."

"Excuse me? You enjoy ridicule?" I asked.

He laughed, "It's not ridicule. It's your duality. I love that you are both sweet and salty. It's my favorite kind of snack actually."

In favor of my thundering heart, that I have no doubt he could hear judging by the deepening smirk on his face… I chose to ignore to the double meaning to those words.

Instead, I chose to prissily turn my nose up, "It's very rude to call your date salty, you know."

"Oh, would you prefer sweet and sour? That's another flavor combination I'm partial to. I just love devouring things that dance on my tongue."

My heart felt as if it were going to burst from my chest and I narrowed my eyes into slits when he actually doubled over in laughter.

"I am so not your friend anymore." I said, huffing and turning away from him.

It was all playful, of course.

He was riling me up and despite the fact that my body was betraying me, I couldn't deny that I loved his attention.

"Oh, come now." he whispered into my ear and I almost choked. "Don't be cross with me. I was only teasing. It's just my nature."

In his nature, indeed.

His arms wrapped around me as well as his tail, "But you are correct about one thing."

Curiosity having gotten the better of me, I turned in his embrace to lock eyes with him, "What's that?"

"I don't want to be your friend." he said.

My brows furrowed in indignation.

"I want to be much, much more than that." he said, a twinkle in his eye again.

I slipped out of his embrace after deciding that I needed to give my nervous system a break from his infuriatingly intoxicating presence.

"Go finish the food." I said sternly.

"Yes, ma'am." he said, bowing dramatically and slithering back to the grill.

I huffed again and I could hear him snort in the background….but I would sooner fling myself off a cliff than give him the satisfaction.

I soon lost myself in fussing over the area I had prepared for us.

Earlier I'd made quite the little paradise in the best spot in the garden.

I'd set up the projector and brought every pillow I owned outside under what I called the fairy grove.

Twisting vines and twinkling lights.

It was magical.

"Where should I put these?"

I turned to see him standing there with trays of food in his arms and a small bar cart trailing behind him being pulled by his tail.

It would seem that it was quite dextrous.

Interesting.

I shook the thought from my head before I could start drooling.

"Just there." I said pointing to an open spot while I fretted over the set up.

"Just relax." he whispered in my ear. "There's no need to be so tense. If you're trying to impress me, just know that I've been impressed since the moment I saw you. I just want to spend time with you."

And for some reason, my stress just slid off my shoulders.

We ate- his skills as a chef were truly unmatched.

We drank- he hadn't been lying about being a bartender.

We laughed- he was incredibly funny with a sharp wit.

Before I knew it, we were laid out, stomachs full and smiles on our faces as we watched the movie.

We'd long since turned the volume down and decided to provide our own dialogue.

He'd just finished making it seem as if the lead role was headed in for his routine colonoscopy causing me to fling myself backwards across the pillows in a fit of laughter.

He laughed before laying back and joining me.

We stared up at the night sky through the canopy of leaves and soft twinkling fairy lights.

"You know, I've always thought this was the best spot in your garden." he said.

"Thank you." I said before blinking, "Hold on. You've never been in this spot of my garden. You've never even been in my garden before."

He gave a long that I could only describe as a child having been found out when they were being naughty.

"Well, that's not exactly true…" he said.

"Oh?" I asked. "Been trespassing have you?"

I wasn't necessarily accusing him… though I was curious as to what might've provoked him to scale not only his gate but mine as well.

"Kind of." he said. "But you've actually seen me many, many times. You've even given me snacks and placed me in sunny places on particularly chilly days."

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

He sighed and before my eyes he transformed yet again into a tiny green garden snake.

I gasped, "My little friend…"

He slithered towards me and gently nudged my hand with his head until I ran my fingers over his scales.

He changed back and looked at me sheepishly, "Honestly, I never meant to invade your privacy. I've just always thought you had such a beautiful garden and, of course, you are possibly the most lovely creation in here. I just… wanted to get closer to you. I didn't exactly have the confidence."

I was shocked.

"I've told you many, many secrets like that." I whispered.

"And they're still just as safe with me as they were when you thought I was just a little snake." he pressed.

"But why?" I asked. "If you were so taken then why not just talk to me?"

He chuckled, "Love, for all my pompous ego of mine… I am really no different than any man. I see a beautiful person and I am just as scattered and flustered as the rest of them."

"What's changed then?" I asked out of curiosity. "Forty eight hours ago, we weren't exactly chummy."

"I've known for a long time that I wanted you, darling." he said. "But in my time of need, when you didn't particularly like me… you helped and it was that that told me everything that I ever needed to know about you. I wasn't afraid of asking anymore. I was more afraid of not asking… and letting the opportunity slip away."

I was quite then.

Pondering all he'd told me.

Here I'd thought it was simply a neighbor version of 'and they were roommates' but it was so much more.

"There is this thing with creatures of my breed, the Scalenes, The Cobraeans." he said. "Our animal counterparts don't always hold true to it but those of us who live between the two worlds of human and animal. We're born with two eyes, two ears, many things in twos. But we're only born with one heart… because we're supposed to find the other. I… I think I've found that with you."

I simply stared at him for a moment.

Perhaps a moment too long because he seemed to be panicking a little.

"Uh… could you say something?" he said before looking down at his lap, eyes widening. "I don't think you're freaked out. You're hearts not racing but your eyes are dilated. Oh my goddess, I've gone and thrown you into shock! By Medusa's gaze! Nice going, Sef! You've gone and-"

His sudden monologue was cut short by my laughter and he whirled around to look at me.

"Sorry, sorry." I said. "I just - you're quite funny when it's you having the come apart."

He narrowed his eyes at me slightly.

"I reveal my feelings to you and you laugh at me." he chuckled. "Wow."

"Oh, come now." I said with a mischeivious smirk of my own.

He gave me a deadpan look, "It's not nice to toy with a man's libido after scaring the life out of him."

I smirked, "And I thought you liked my duality."

"Well the sour I get but I've yet to see the sweetness." he pouted.

"Aw, I'm sorry." I said, playfully rolling my eyes. "Whatever, can I do to make it better? Would you like a hug? Perhaps, a cuddle?"

"Not enough." he pouted childishly, already long over it but definitely gonna milk it for what it was worth.

That much I could tell already.

"You made my blood run cold I was so scared." he accused.

"You're Scalene. Your blood is always cold." I teased.

He huffed but I could tell he wasn't finished, "The only way this absolute injustice could possibly be righted is by a kiss."

I pretended to ponder it just for the sake of toying with him.

"I could…"I trailed off, bringing my lips dangerously close to his, ghosting them against each other.

He chased after me as I pulled away.

"Tease." he hissed at me.

I giggled ridiculously, "Perhaps, I have Scalene in my bloodline somewhere. Teasing seems to be in my nature as well."

He narrowed his eyes but the smile playing about his lips gave him away.

I dramatically clasped my hands together in consideration, "I could give you a kiss to mend this obvious discontent I've bestowed upon you. But perhaps, I've been too cruel. Perhaps, it's not enough."

He softened thinking I was serious, "Darling, you don't have to. I was only playing."

I winked at him, "Oh but I do. I have giving you saltiness and sourness. So now I shall give you something very sweet."

I pulled him into a kiss that seemed to suck the very life from him.

He was easy to roll over as I straddled him.

"And now perhaps, I'll let you have that snack after all." I said flicking the bottom of my dress at his face.

The man looked like it was Christmas Day and Santa Clause himself had arrived to give him his presents.

And that is how two quarreling neighbors ended up finding the other heart they'd always been searching for.

Fifteen years later and we're still together.

We tore down our fence and built out two homes together into one just as we did with our own lives.

Tore down the walls we'd both had around our hearts and built a new one together.

Entwined together forever.

And it all started with a favor.

—---

For my darling @thickemadame : I do hope I've done this justice and that you forgive me for taking so long. I know it's not very smutty but I got caught up in the fluff of it all and I hope there was enough saucy bits to keep you happy. All my love, darling.

—-

Hey, loves! I hope you liked it! I'm trying out new content styles! If you liked, it please let me know!

Love, K

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#monster boyfriend #monster boyfriend x plus size reader #plus size reader #part three I need a favor #naga sef #naga boyfriend

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earlgreytea68 · 1 year

Note

Can I ask you the most cliched question, because you are the only person I know (from your writing ❤️) in the FOB fandom, is there a list somewhere of the songs Patrick has written lyrics to, which could be considered "his" songs? Or even if he he contributed a lot to the lyrics? I tried getting into FOB lore a few times but something else always pulls away my attention, and I never get deep enough to find out more about them, I think I'm a casual fan, I love a lot of their songs but I never listened through their whole catalogue. I'm guessing there aren't a lot of songs that are like that?

This is absolutely NOT a cliched question.

It seems like this differs from album to album. I haven't done a scientific study on this but every once in a while you'll come across an interview that mentions how much Patrick added lyrics. Like, I think I read someone that he felt like he wrote about 25% of the lyrics on SRAR, the most since TTTYG. I also feel like I read somewhere that Patrick said basically all the lyrics in Mania were Pete, that he added very little. I think some of the songs from TTTYG were heavily Patrick's lyrics with some Pete edits (I know Grand Theft Autumn, for instance, Pete told Patrick to change "Where is your man" to "where is your boy" because Patrick was still a teenager and saying "man" was stupid lolololol), while others I take it were much more Pete's.

I honestly don't entirely trust their recollections of who wrote what and how. I sense that Patrick kind of sits back and lets Pete do most of the words now, and really doesn't trouble his head much about lyrics. When he talks, it sounds like Pete sends him lyrics and he hears music in his head based off of them. Sometimes, it sounds like he tries to group Pete's ramblings into sensible categories that he can draw from as he needs more lyrics for a song. So, like, when he talks about writing Last of the Real Ones, he says that Pete had all these lyrics related to outer space that he went to pull from, which implies that one of them had organized things into a grouping that made sense, and that seems much more like a Patrick thing. Patrick has said consistently over the past few years that he views himself as writing the score for Pete's life, which basically implies it's almost entirely Pete's words and he's just shaping them into his melodies. And he also says fairly consistently that he doesn't care about words. He's said that since the beginning and he appears to maintain that that hasn't changed. He will throw placeholder lyrics into songs that then get changed out as Pete prefers. So it just doesn't seem like words are his medium and he's happy to let Pete take the lead, and indeed trusts him to do so basically entirely by this point in their partnership.

That said, Idk if you've ever worked with someone really closely, but it's really difficult to recall who contributed what at the end of the day. I believe them that almost all the lyrics come from Pete, and so it's a safe bet to say that Pete wrote whatever lyric Patrick is singing, but I also think they might not entirely recall if Patrick adds a line here and there to round it out. Although it seems like if Patrick needs lyrics for gaps in the songs, he tends to ask Pete to send him more. That is, I believe, in theory, what the "to you" poem was supposed to be, that Patrick had asked for some more lyrics and so Pete wrote him some. And also I've heard it said that that's where the "We will teach you how to make boys next door out of assholes" line comes from in Young Volcanoes, that Patrick told Pete he needed another line for the song and Pete sent him that one. So it does seem like, more often than not, if there's a gap where Patrick needs words, he asks for some from Pete, or else he goes into his Pete file and finds what he wants. He has also said that he will veto words, that if he doesn't like what Pete's sending him he doesn't use it, no matter how many times Pete keeps sending it, until Pete gets the hint that he's not going to use it lololol. The flipside of this is sometimes he clearly likes Pete's words so much that he uses them more than once, the same lyrics recurring in different songs.

So this means that, in the trajectory of their songwriting partnership, SRAR really stands out. After TTTYG, Patrick mainly faded out of writing the lyrics, letting Pete write most of them, except for a sudden blip of resurgence on SRAR. Now this is probably attributable to them re-figuring out how to write together after the hiatus. It makes total sense that Patrick, fresh off a solo album where he was handling lyrics (that sound, incidentally, so adorably influenced by Pete), would be more in the habit of writing lyrics and be contributing more on SRAR. It also makes sense he'd fall back out of that habit, letting Pete take over, the way he had before, since it doesn't seem like he particularly likes writing lyrics, definitely not in the way he likes writing music. And for this particular hiatus we just had, Patrick was scoring, and so didn't fall back into any kind of lyrical habit, and so it continues to make sense that he'd stay out of the lyrics.

I say all of this to say that apparently SRAR has more Patrick lyrics on it than any other FOB album except for TTTYG. And that's noteworthy because SRAR also has the infamous lyrics about "hot whiskey eyes." I've heard it said that Patrick wrote the song during the hiatus and saved it for Fall Out Boy, and that then Pete added lyrics to it (which seems like an inversion of their usual process?). Pete has said that the song is about what he went through during the hiatus, and I've also seen it said that he wrote it about his divorce. But. Honestly, there is no one involved in the whole situation whose eyes are the color of whiskey except for Pete Wentz, so, Idk, on an album containing more Patrick lyrics than any other album, suddenly there's a line in there about hot whiskey eyes, on a song with a response to the "I miss you missing me" line in Pete's poem. Idk, seems sus, as the kids say these days.

#peterick #fall out boy #fob #bandom

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sunfoxfic · 2 years

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🥺🙋‍♀️✨

🥺 Is there a certain type of moment or common interaction between your characters that never fails to put you in your feels?

One thing that comes up in my writing more often than is actually realistic is that, very often, I follow up any form of "I'm sorry" with "don't be." As in, "I'm sorry that happened to you." "Don't be; you're not the one who caused it." I don't know why it stands out to me so much, but ever since I watched Daniel Sloss's Dark, I really can't understand the idea of apologizing when you're not actively at fault, and also it's something I'm conscious of IRL - when something bad happens to someone else, it's not a cliche I like using.

Idk if that's really what the question is asking but it's definitely a recurring thing throughout my writing - that "I'm sorry" / "Don't be" - because I very much care for what it stands for. That maybe the world would be a little better if we were less sorry and more kind.

🙋‍♀️ Do any irl people know you write fanfic?

I usually respond to the question "what are you writing" with "fanfiction" because it keeps people who aren't normal about it away from asking (usually they're relatively normal about it, it's just very clear that they are afraid of what the answer will be if they ask "oh, what type of fanfic?") and it makes some common ground for people who are normal about fanfic. My entire family pretty much knows I write fanfiction, but no details except that it's about Miraculous and sometimes other cartoons.

The only person I know IRL who knows that I write fanfic and is in on it is in the house with us (follows this blog). They were a childhood friend who moved away and we only reconnected this summer, and most of the interaction we've had is over Tumblr but I <3 them.

✨ Give you and your writing a compliment. Go on now. You know you deserve it. 😉

The way that I've grown into characterization for my blorbos is absolutely stellar. A lot of my older fics (older being relative, of course) has questionable characterization that I would change now, but pretty much all of this year I've felt really really confident with my characterization. The characters all feel real, they feel deep, I can take them from the story where they exist and put them elsewhere and they stand upright because my understanding feels less superficial. It's absolutely spectacular.

#asks answered #ck2k18 #ask game

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skiagram · 5 months

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life is very lonely. I feel that "laundry and taxes" quote a lot I know it's cliche hahaa but I feel it definitely would be easier to have someone to share stuff with. ...obvs I have family but idk like people outside. I have friends and my little communities but I've unfortunately become so online, online platforms are my easiest way to connect with people. I know it's Bad(tm) but godd I've never not been a homebody. Mostly bc I prefer it that way and I like being alone but I know it's not ideal which bums me out. I feel dumb kind of talking about this a lot for years because idk all things considered I'm a good socializer and good company and I have friends and family who like me and support me but idk there's always been something missing, idk probably a drive to seek out.

I have a bit of an envy of my friends and family who are married and partnered, because it's like they can have someone to kind of work things out with while also usually being a little independent. I feel I want that kind of partnership, but it's also hard, being aroace and also fear of being a weirdofreak in many ways. It's hard to imagine an independent future, and the kind of relationships i think I would want. Imagining things in the real world is always harder than retreating into escapismworlds inside ur head and I feel I do that instinctively. And it's fun but also I feel I wish I was more grounded, it feels like the responsible thing to do given what life is like and who we are to other people.

But at the same time. I want to keep being me, and I want to improve myself and grow, but I want to do that and still be me. I'm frustrated bc I've been writing journal entries to this effect for years and I'm always like "does anything I do really change myself?" I don't want to keep being stuck.

It's silly but even something like dyeing my hair earlier even just for a month, felt very cool and important to me because idk why I didn't do it earlier. Like realizing I'm "allowed" to do things is cool? But it's hard to think outside the box. Idk where I'm going wit this.

Parents always are frustrated that I'm not 'taking initiative" much and IM frustrated too!!!!!

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buttercream-squad-imagines · 3 years

Text

Little Red Dress

Pairings: Harry Lewis x fem!Reader, Callux x sister!Reader Word Count: 1.8k Warnings: Swearing, some violence, maybe a few spelling mistakes Request: Idk if this is a request but like a secret relationship with Harry that you hide and you like calluxs sister or something like that and when he finds out he gets really mad or something

How you had gotten here you didn't know. It was a question you had continually asked yourself for the last five or so months. You hadn't long moved to London, where your older brother Callum lived. You had wanted to be closer to him, not that you were far anyway but you were very closer to your brother.

There were quite a few years between you and the older boy, you being born when the latter was 7 years old. Now at the ages of 22 and 29, the two could not be more inseparable. Despite having different fathers - both of whom hadn't stuck around long enough for the pair to remember them - you and Cal were like peas in a pod. With no father figure for you to look up to, you naturally clung to the boy growing up, and Cal being the only male in the house, quickly took on the protector figure for both you and your mum.

As awful as you felt leaving your mum back at home, you had been missing your brother desperately since he had moved to London so long ago, having spent the latter majority of your school years without him. Now after graduating from university, you finally felt free enough to move to the city with your brother and make your own way in life.

That was nearing a year ago, which led you to now. The situation that you were currently in, sneaking around with one of your brother's best friends.

You had met Harry before you could even have been introduced by Cal in one of the most cliche ways ever. Being the clumsy git he is, he had bumped into you in the hallway of your new apartment building and had spilled the contents of the box you were carrying all over the hardwood floor. Awkwardly the man had tried to pick up the contents in a hurry, spitting out apologies to you and once again dropping things from his arms in an attempt to put them back into the box. It was something you had found very endearing and is a quality of his that you adore.

In an attempt to apologise for both spilling the box full of stuff and then dropping the contents whilst trying to pick them back up, Harry had offered to help you bring up the rest of your boxes. It was there that you both ran into your brother, who was visibly confused as to how his cumbersome best friend was talking to his baby sister like they had known each other for years.

Cal would never actually admit it to you but witnessing that interacting had a large pit forming at the bottom of his stomach. He knew how Harry could be and knew from the look in his eye that he had quickly found an attraction in you.

Any spark found in Harry's eyes quickly distinguished when he learned of your relation to Cal, knowing how protective the older boy could be of his baby sister, but nothing could stop the fluttering feeling the boy got when he was around you. Not even Cal's warnings against dating his sister. Warnings that his other friends got, to his relief, all of which assured Cal that his sister was out of bounds. Pleased with the responses, Cal never had a second thought, something you were glad for.

Something you weren't glad for however, was the feeling of uneasiness you got whenever you were with Harry. You almost felt guilty for being with him, even more so for keeping it from your brother.

Your boyfriend of five months, however, was quick to chase away that feeling with his affection. You got to see another side to the boy that many of the people in his life never got to witness. It gave you a feeling of euphoria knowing that you were the object of Harry's affections, and affectionate he was.

When the two of you got to spend time at your apartment, the boy could not remove himself from you. Whether he was lying in bed editing a video, cuddled into your side, or sprawled out on the settee with his head nestled in your lap, he always had to have some body part touching you. His hand always found yours when he was particularly anxious, something that happened quite regularly, which was one of the traits you found most endearing. It warmed your heart to know that you were able to calm him down.

Something you did a lot was steal Harry's clothing. There was just something about those jumpers, especially the sidemen merch, that was just so comfortable. Even after insisting on getting you some sidemen clothing of your own, so he could continue to make use of his own wardrobe, you still wore his. You had told him very shyly that you liked wearing his clothes because they smelled like him, and it brought you comfort when he was away visiting his own family.

Harry thought he might have broken down then and there. Not that he would say it out loud, he secretly loved it when you wore his clothes but knowing that you would wear them when you missed him? He felt like he was on cloud nine.

Which is how you found yourself right now, snuggled on your sofa, drowning in Harry's jumper and a fleece blanket, watching the TV. Harry had been away visiting his family over the new year, and wasn't due back until the following day but you missed him dearly. Your phone had been forgotten in your bedroom, your only distraction was reruns of Grey's Anatomy, a show you had already watched religiously.

You hadn't realised how much time had passed as you easily lost track of time when you got into a show. You also hadn't realised that your brother had been trying to get hold of your for over an hour. Which is why you were startled when you heard the click of the lock turning.

"Y/N?" The sound of your brother's voice filled the small apartment. "Are you in here?"

"On the sofa." You called back with a yawn. He could easily hear the drowsiness in your voice, he would put his money on you falling asleep within the next hour.

"You didn't answer my calls or texts, I was worried." He scolded gently.

"I left it in my room to charge, sorry for worrying you." You stretched causing the blanket that covered you to drop to your lap.

"Whose? Whose jumper is that?" Cal inquired, suspicion laced in his tone.

"Oh, is it not yours?" You asked, trying to cover up the fact that his best friend's jumper adorned your body and was currently the reason that you were about to be outed.

"No. You know that's not my jumper Y/N. It's too small to be mine." You winced at the hardness in his voice.

"I must've picked it up thinking it was yours. Oops." You tried to play it off coolly, and your brother seemed to be coming around to the idea that it was just a misunderstanding. Thank God, you screamed internally.

"Right." He sprawled himself out next to you and let out a groan when he noticed what you were watching. "Really? Grey's Anatomy? You know I've experienced enough hospitals in my life without having to watch this garbage."

"How dare you?" You gasped playfully, whacking the older man on the arm. "I'm not turning it off, so either accept it or leave."

"Fine."

A week later, Cal was visiting Freezy and Harry's apartment to hang out with the boys. You were meant to be coming soon though as you and Cal were going out for lunch. Cal was sprawled on the sofa and Harry was on another, whilst Freezy was in the bathroom. Cal's suspicions once again peaked as he noticed Harry wearing the jumper you were wearing just a week ago.

"I'm sure that's the jumper Y/N was wearing last week." He muttered loud enough for the younger boy to hear.

"Is it? She must've picked it up by accident and thought it was yours." Harry spoke coolly although his stomach felt like it was doing backflips.

"Hmm. That's what she said." He grumbled. The two fell back into a comfortable silence scrolling through their phones, waiting for Freezy to arrive back from the bathroom.

"Harry, I'm sure you've got some secret girlfriend you're hiding from us or something." The loud voice of Freezy echoed through the apartment.

"What?" The boy in question stumbled over his words. "Why would you say that?"

"Well, if I had to guess, I wouldn't put you down as the type of person who used Sunkissed raspberry shampoo and conditioner." He cackled.

"So, what if I did?" Harry's heart was racing, trying to play the situation off. Even if the boys found out he was seeing someone, they still wouldn't know who. That's what he was trying to tell himself anyway.

"Right, so you're telling me this dress from the washing basket is yours too?"

Harry's face dropped as Freezy held up the little red dress that you had thrown in the washing basket after a night out. A night out with your brother and his friends.

"What the fuck Harry?!" Cal seethed, gripping him by the collar of his jumper and shoving him into the wall. "My fucking sister!"

"Oh." Was the only thing that come out of Freezy's mouth once he had realised the severity of the situation. Your brother on the other hand was seeing red. What they hadn't heard was you entering the flat, having heard the shouting from the hallway. Cal raised his fist, bringing it to meet the side of Harry's face, who hadn't said a word yet.

"What the hell Cal?!" You exclaimed, marching over and pushing him away from your boyfriend.

"When were you going to tell me?" He asked you through gritted teeth.

"I don't know what you're talking about." You honestly had no idea what was happening right now, but if you had to make a guess, you'd put your money on Cal having found out about your relationship. You could count on one hand how many times you had seen your brother as angry as this. Not ever had it been directed at you though.

"Stop lying Y/N!" He roared making you cower into Harry behind you and let out a small whimper. "Come on, we're leaving."

"No!" Your brother grabbed the top of your arm and began pulling you away. You tried to shrug his hand from your arm, but he held on tightly. "I'm not leaving."

"Fine." He spat, storming out of the apartment.

"Hey." Harry whispered softly, touching your arm gently.

"I'll just leave you two." Freezy muttered awkwardly, leaving to go to his room. Harry pulled you into his chest and wiped away the tears you hadn't realised had fallen.

"It's okay." He assured you. "It'll be okay."

#sidemen imagine #sidemen #Harry Lewis #Harry Lewis x reader #Harry Lewis x fem!reader #Wroetoshaw #Wroetoshaw x reader #Wroetoshaw x fem!reader #Wroetoshaw imagine #Sidemen x reader #Callux x reader #Callux x sister!reader #Callux x platonic!reader #Harry Lewis imagine #Sidemen fanfic #w2s x reader #w2s imagine #w2s

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morkofday · 2 years

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Bad Buddy and Gifted AU???????????? i know mejomonster would probably love to see that too

and u know that i'm always down for anything involving a william show >:)

<3 <3 <3

brigiiidd ♥♥ the love of my life 🥰

(placing under a cut bc this got so long! sorry)

ok yeah so i have this fully-fledged bad buddy x the gifted au in my brain that is half based on all the ohmnanon dramas i've come to watch after bad buddy plus all the things i hope the gifted would've been instead of. well. what it was 😬 the concept was super cool but i didn't really like their execution lol

but i have powers for the main six, i have backstories for most of them. i have figured out some of the struggles they go through! also yes this is a mutant au basically and of course that means there's a ton of Angst and things get way rougher than in the gifted. also the school system or whatever is more Nuts bc i said so. also bc i love mutant aus and the mutants always breaking free and lowkey starting a revolution or something. not just the small scale struggle they had going on in the gifted smh

(also as a side note, i have seen at least two other the gifted aus for bad buddy and both were really good so! idk if i really would have any place there so am happy to keep this in my own head basically :') i can just go feral every time i think about what i could write for them haha)

if i can talk about the powers i have figured out, then they go as:

pran - can control soundwaves which basically means that he can a) hear very well (at first involuntarily which is kind of rough), b) use sound as a weapon and c) talk to ppl who are far away

pat - a type of power sealing power? he can make others' powers disappear by touch. usually, the effect lasts only for a while but he can make it permanent too (has done this only by accident for now). my initial plan for him was him being some type of "shield" against powers but that felt too much like bella swan. so now he's this. tho i feel like he still gets parts of the "shield" idea bc i thought that at some point he might be able to develop his power into using it at will to just block others' powers when they try to use them

wai - can control senses so hallucinations, sensory deprivation, all that. if it's subtle he can just make ppl believe basically anything bc they thought they sensed it. if it's violent enough, he could kill ppl.

korn - super strength. lowkey a cliche but i like this. he can probably develop his power into being lowkey indestructible. he probably also heals fast.

pha - can control earth. she is the reason the jindapat siblings discover their powers. she suddenly gets a temper tantrum at ten and breaks their living room floor. bc pat is her biological brother, it is considered most likely that he will develop a power too. it takes him a year before he discovers that what he thought was just his social skill at calming down ppl is actually his ability to make their powers vanish for a moment.

ink - able to read and manipulate emotions. kind of like claire in the gifted but more extreme. she usually uses her skill to help others but she can be terrifying if someone does her wrong. ever cried so hard your heart gave out? not fun.

and that's about it. i have some meetings and conflicts figured out outside of their powers. also i think these could make very nice dynamics to explore. (tagging @mejomonster to this too if you're right and they wish to see this!)

then the novoland thing bc i assume you meant that lol (or does my dreamwalker au include fo ye? you'll never know. at least ba ye is there)

i think you have read everything i have for that currently 😔 i still think about how zhou youdu will fit into the dynamic with the other two. also thinking about how william probably dies in this too. i was not that fond of his character as you might know lol he was a major asshole and i don't think he deserved to "get the girl" at the end but well. i guess he deserved something. also he needs to apologize to so many ppl and i plan on doing that bc wth why was he allowed to just Get Away With It dammit.

thank you so much for asking brigid ♥ i love you!

#the bad buddy x the gifted au is something that keeps me afloat ok #watching all these ohmnanon dramas has made me Feral #like have you seen nanon in the gifted or in blacklist?#the faces that boy makes?? delicious whump #i want to whump pran so bad #and bad buddy doesn't really offer us that bc that drama is Soft #and i cannot give anything but nice things to pran there #so au it is haha #and what an au it is ok i have come to majorly Wreck His Ass #the boy in this au is so angsty he wishes i was not in love with him #bc wow does he get hurt by his own power #he struggles with it so much #also it's been fun trying to come up with like #the reasons why some things that happen in bad buddy happen in this #like why does pran have to leave school when their parents aren't really involved in any of this in the au?#well i think it's bc he accidentally hurts someone with his powers #and is deemed too dangerous to attend this normal school #and well he and pat know each other then #and are kind of friends and kind of close #and then pat is left behind bc well his power isn't really dangerous #his power is Good #and then pran meets wai in the facility he ends up in #and wai is Dangerous too #and they bond over this #before somehow pat ends up there too #and they meet up again #and this time it's not just friendship but they Fall In Love #bc what will be sadder than loving someone in that type of environment #where they cannot be sure what happens to any of them

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dana-chan-the-control-brain · 3 years

Text

Happy new year everyone 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

I know 2020 has been hard for everyone.

And I want everyone to know, suffering isn't a contest and we all suffer in different ways. But I feel I should give my year in Review. Just some things that happened to me personally.

This was an intense, and long and spiritual and emotional journey for me...

I really discovered what it meant to have community, family and what my life means to me.

But I feel I need to get this in writing cause I can remember the year with vivid detail and I will probably forget if I don't get it down.

Do I have to share this publically online to my tumblr account for a bunch of strangers to see? not really.

Do I want to?

Yes. I think so. Just from how so many people on tumblr and real life have touched me.

This is kinda long and no one needs to read this.

(idk how to do a readmore on mobile. But this is where I would add it later. No one needs to read if they don't want to.)

January/February: (and some background on the last five years of my life cause.....well. it's important.)

As people knew, I got way into Invader Zim last summer. I spent most of my waking life working a dead end job at a grocery store. I lived a sad lonely life, going straight home to a single dark studio apartment. With not many material possessions outside of games, my laptop and my tablet to my name. Half of my material loves, such as home furnishings and books were still in boxes from when I moved in. In case I ever had to move again, or get some "big screenshot or copywriter" job in the city.

....

I lived in that city in the same dead end job and apartment for five years.

No friends. No social life. I often refused to make doctor appointments or attempt to establish myself in that city. I didn't even talk to anyone in my workplace.

Work. Go online. Go to sleep.

I lived like that for five years.

I thought it was good.

Even my therapist thought I was doing well.

When I really wasn't. My main character flaw I struggle with is motivation.

I can talk to someone about very detailed plans I have to fix a problem... But I tend to never follow through.

Just because I can describe in detail how to fix my personal problems, it doesn't mean I will do it.

(I have gotten better at this but it's a major struggle)

I might have been a Zombie during the day...

But by night I was pouring my soul into my AU and my analysis.

After being so thoughly ignored or overlooked by the Naruto fandom and the Undertale fandom, I felt like I had finally found my home and was settling into a community there.

I just loved that people loved what I had to say.

Especially my AU.

It's no secret that a lot of themes in my au revolve around found family, grief, and loss.......

Fatherhood, in particular.

What it means to be a father, how much do you need to try when you mess up, how willing should a child forgive their parent, especially those that have wronged you and how much of it is factually accurate and simply a self projection of what children want their parents to be and visa versa... What amount of forgiveness and change is nessasary...is it needed?

....

It's no secret that a lot of my AU is a giant coping mechanism for my Dad's death. Espessially the falling out and growing closer with a lot of my family members throughout the years following his death. (Most of the time I keep it ambiguous to how it relates to my personal life unless I include a readmore that states so outright. I feel my au can be enjoyed by a variety of people in the fandom who don't need to know me as a person or my life story.)

My Dad passed away in 2016 in February and my family still feels the aftershocks to this day.

It's part of the reason I moved to the city, alienated myself from my family and people that loved me and refused to experience life for five years.

My entire world was Zim, and I was okay.

March: When America finally realized and started to feel the effects of the pandemic....

A lot of people got scared.

Me included.

I didn't have any streaming services or access to the news. So I only heard accounts from my mom.

I didn't understand why the store was so dead quiet and empty for a few days, then it went into mass chaos and panic in the span of two days.

It felt like Retail black friday in the worst way. Everyone was packed like sardines. Everyone was yelling. The lines at the registers bled into the clothing department.

I was witness to customers shoving others for toilet paper, being rude to cashier's and just overall unpleasantness.

At the time, I didn't even fully grasp what the pandemic was, and I feel a lot of people at the time didn't either.

I ended up absentmindedly scratching my eyebrow in front of a customer and she screamed and villanised me for it. That they didn't want groceries touched by my "unclean hands"

I ended up breaking down into tears.

The customer behind me gave me a hug and told me I was doing a great job.

But the damage was done. It was the final straw, I couldn't stop crying and I was breaking apart.

Thankfully my Boss (the one who likes me) pulled me aside and asked what's wrong.

It was then that I quit. No notice. Same day. I had to get out of there.

I was planning to move to an apartment with my sister in the summer, but my Mom offered for me to move back in with her temperarily just so I can get out of the city and away from the pandemic.

So I did.

I got scared, broke my lease a month early and quit my job of five years that gave me nothing back.

He told me, "take care of yourself and your family, I won't keep you here, do what you need to do."

So I did.

April-June:

A very eventful few months.

My mom offered for me to live at her place, but for some reason she was acting like I would live there forever. That this wasn't a temporary arrangement, and that I didn't have an apartment set up already.

This was in large part to my sister, who had lived with my mom taking advantage of her for years.

Even though my sister and I were going to move in together, I was just never sure about it cause of how she never packed her stuff or made any effort to find a job.

My mom often acted like I was lazy and not searching and was treating me like... Well, an unruly teenager instead of a woman of 29 years. She acted like I was a failure for returning home when it was her idea in the first place.

I would have just been petrified in the city.

Like usual, I retreated to my au again.... And in the spring, something eventful happened.

In may, 8th 2020:

I was invited by @rissynicole to join an invader zim discord.

Now, I've never really used discord before. I always thought it's interface is too confusing.. and I'm a member of a few other iz discords and I usually don't follow them that closely.

Rissy assured me it was different cause some friends of thiers made it and it was smaller.

Before I knew it, I was sharing memes and getting to know everyone there.

It wasn't long after I invited my partner in IZ crimes, @paketdimensioncomic who was genuinely wary of iz servers due to a bad experience with the last one they were a part of.

But soon they were sharing memes and laughing with everyone else.

My eyes were starting to open and I was able to connect to fans of my work in an interpersonal way. And I was able to discover new artists and aus I never knew about.

I was also able to meet so many others of the community and invite them to the server myself.

The moo-ping 10 server kept me sane while I was living with my judgmental mother.

Not only that, the summer was very productive for my au.

Drawing was all I did, and it was a huge break from the job as a cashier I had.

Not only that, June came, and with it, me and Ceph's first collab fic:

A result of us just going back and forth in our DMs constantly about Professor Membrane and how he changed in ETF for the better and how much we adamantly stan "trying-to-be-a-good-dad-brane" and how much of his ETF development has to be implied off screen in order for the emotional resolution in the movie to matter.

The only reason I never professed my love for Membrane as a character in the fandom before the fic dropped was.... Well....

Membrane can be a decisive character in the fandom and I was so worried people would hate me if I did an analysis on him, simply because he's not the best parent in the world. (As an understatement)

Ceph and I really encouraged each other to scream our love for the science himbo loud and proud more frequently and so often.... I actually start to see less Membrane hate posts and breakdowns then their used to be.... I like to think it's a combination of Me and Ceph's influence, along with ETF and the Quarterly's painting Membrane in a slightly more nuanced light then he was previously.

I never wrote a collab fic before and it's such a rewarding and fun and unique experience that I don't think I'll ever have again. And I love working with Ceph on our fics so much.

So much so we did it again...

July-August:

I never thought I would be one of those people who writes NSFW IZ fic... But here I am.

The Brainbrane au started.... An au of my au where Membrane and the Computer fall in love and Membrane makes him a body.

This ship was based around the idea where we joked that Membrane and Zim's Computer would have funny interactions if they ever met, under the pretense Membrane thinks Computer is Zim's parent.

Our headcanons morphed and shifted until we just full blown started shipping them.

Just because Membrane and Zim's Computer have overall REALLY entertaining chemistry.

It's a character dynamic never seen in the show or comics (yet) and I imagine thier interactions to be nothing but entertaining banter.

The fic was also born from spite... Making fun of the troupes and cliches that we found personally destestible in some questionable zadr fics.

So an angry ace and a demi-bisexual collab on a porn and end up blessing the fandom with

Compapa headcanons,

Computer being recognized as a more common used fanon character,

The ship of Brainbrane.

The fandom having a crisis of "oh God, not only are we xenophiles we're technophiles too!!!" Or "why you gotta give Zim's Computer an ass"

More android Computer designs

It was an eventful summer.

In the midst of all this, I moved into my new place, got a new job, and I was able to see my friend (who is def my platonic straight soul mate) who lives in Indiana.

She came to visit, showed me how to decorate and how to take care of my body better! Things were looking up! It was great.

September-November:

My job was at a boat store. If was approaching the fall and my hours were being severely cut.

I was getting into a rut of depression again.

I thought things were changing but the same routine I was trying to escape from was the same thing coming back.

But instead of letting it take hold, I decided I was going to do something about it... I was gonna visit a museum and go with my sister. Just... variety stimulation.

Well that didn't happen.

I talked about this shortly in my au itself...but..

My sister had a complete mental breakdown.

She stopped taking her meds, went off the deep end and was in the hospital a total of five times throughout November.

A lot of it was acting out and the perfect storm of environmental factors that made her scream and act out so she would keep going back to the hospital.

It was traumatizing for me.

I just can't explain what it's like. For her and for me to be in that position.

I'm not telling the full story and a lot of bullshit things happened I won't share here.

She got diagnosed with bipolar one and my mom expected me to be a caretaker for her.

I threatened to disown my family and move away out of state.

It was just too much for me to handle.

So much I was a nervous wreck.

I tried to pick up a second job... Cause my sister was in the mental ward so frequently and couldn't pay the bills.

But I was fired within a week cause I was so stressed I couldn't retain the basic information they were training me for.

It was an office job.

My dream.

It could have been.

I was fired from something I really wanted.

I was only there for three days.

I could not retain any information.

I was a mess.

My sister was a trigger, my mom wanted me to live with her. I couldn't live like this.... I had to get out.

I had to get out.

December:

Remember my Indiana friend?

Well the first week of December is my birthday.

My 30th to be exact.

While I did pick up a seasonal position at Target (not my first pick)

I took the first week of December off so I could spend time with her. Cause she agreed, I needed a break from this crap.

Surviving 30 years is cause to celebrate and if I had to celebrate with my sister I would have cried.

I know there was a risk traveling out of state during a pandemic...

But I needed out, I needed a friend..

And I kinda wanted to look at the place since I was considering moving there.

My friend's mom was sick so she avoided me and her daughter and got us a hotel room.

It was fun! I got to swim in a salt water pool, we talked about Naruto, I showed her the iz and su art books I brought, also Computer and Membrane tea.

I also got to meet her other friends and get crunk. And her bf who is super nice and funny!

I had a super fun birthday....

Until her mom told my friend that her grandparents had covid and that was what she had. And my friend got sick within that same day.... As did I.

I owe so much to her family.

I was an entire state away...about a ten hour drive from home.... She let me stay at her house. "The covid house" we called it.

Cause everyone (except the father. He avoided everyone and booked a hotel immediately cus he was an ER doctor) had covid within a day.

I called in, the test results were positive and I had to stay with her family for ten days quarantine before I could work again.

Which would have been fine....

If my tumblr didn't log me out perminately of my old account. @dana-chan325 .... Which really sucked cause I had a constant headache and was too sick to engage with tumblr or much of the fandom. I didn't want to make a new account when my head was in a bad fog and I could barely breathe or smell.

It's not like I saw much of my friend either.... We all slept at different hours and she had more symptoms then I did.

It was just netflix, danganronpa v3 and cry.

I was miserable, but at the same time.... Not?

I really feel like God himself was the one who pulled me off from tumblr, and my living situation.

Maybe a whole extra week feeling like a bobblehead was what I needed.

It gave me some much needed clarity on my relationships with my mom and sis and friend.

Running away to Indiana was not the solution here.

Once I was better within ten days and no longer had a leave of absence, I drove home.

I am glad I fully recovered (but from how I understand it, my dear friend is still ill. I'm praying for her)

I might have gone to work a bit too soon, cause I had an asthma attack after trying to unload a single cart in the span of six hours.

My boss lectured that my speed was unacceptable, and even though I explained the covid situation and breathing problems many times, she threatened that I'd be fired if I'm that slow again.

Que the next few days of work where they put me on register.

Instantly I was sent into a panic remembering the last time I was on the register and how that panic attack caused me to quit.

I even asked if I could go back to stocking, since my breathing had improved. My boss assured me that I was put on the register cause they needed help and nothing to do with my covid thing.

Then as December concluded and the new year began, my boss said that this was the last shift for me cause my position was seasonal and they were letting a lot of people go.

I then asked why I was on the schedule for Sunday, and he told me to ignore it and I'm free to reapply for full-time.

I mean.... They can act smart about it...

But putting your general merchandise stocker onto register after she had an asthma attack and missed working the first two weeks of December due to covid.....

Not a good look.

So once again, I'm jobless once more.

Will probably continue to live with my sister for awhile.

But I do not feel as if it's a bad thing....

I met so many good people this year....

My friend's family even gave me 500 usd to cover my rent since I couldn't work for a majority of December.

I've seen evil and good from humanity this year. I've seen acts of god, good friends and what my real family means to me as well as friends I consider family.

This year really made me look back at the person in the mirror and say,

"I deserve better."

And actually worked for it this time.

Oh and after Christmas I got a horrible yeast infection that burns over most of my body currently.

Very accurate doodle to the pain I'm in right now.

(seriously my body is a fungus.)

But hey, good news, I respected myself enough to go to the doctor about it!!

So that's progress.

I really hope 2021 holds good things for me.

Thank you to the mooping 10 server for always being there and keeping me sane,

Thank you tumblr for liking my au and everything.

AND A SUPER SPECIAL THANK YOU TO @evartandadam and her family for housing me and my dumb diseased ass. Everyone, she is an angel and I can't express how much she means to me. Please check out her art and buy her stuff on redbubble.

Anyways... Byebye 2020.

I look forward to what I can accomplish for myself this year.

#danachan's posts #personal stuff #new year post #tw: covid #tw: yeast infection

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genshins1mpact · 3 years

Text

okay so i know i mentioned on here before that i have a bunch of dreams when i sleep and how i had that cute one with xiao & mingxiao before right?? 👀

forgot to share it sooner bc life but anyway i had a funny/cute dream with diluc the other day (i'll try to add a read more bc this got a lil long but it doesn't always work on mobile so i'll try & fix it asap if so!) but yeah this kinda turned into a whole fic of its own lol,,

☆ the dream itself is here, under the cut! ☆

basically, to not have to explain all the lore about my oc/self insert and all that again, the tldr of it is that i landed on teyvat similar to traveler but didn't really have anywhere to go so after gaining his trust and becoming close, diluc sort of just takes me in and lets me work at the tavern + lets me stay in a spare room at the winery. so yeah we often walk to/from work together if he's working at angel's share that day, and i guess everyone just assumes we're dating?? ...except for me, that is, who still thought he was in love with jean (bc of the whole stormterror thing).

one night, kaeya's been hanging out in the tavern all night, venti's already left or passed out or smth, and then once things close up, diluc and i get ready to head off, but apparently this is the first time kaeya's seen us head off together/in the same direction, and immediately decides to start teasing. he's all "ooh look at the two lovebirds, you've moved in together already? how'd you ask her out, i didn't know you two were a thing, congrats bro so glad she likes you back" kinda stuff and then i just start laughing and telling him to knock it off, wouldn't want jean to overhear and misunderstand. and they're both just like ......wait what? and i'm all "oh cause diluc likes jean right? i thought the were like an Unspoken Thing yknow??" and both stare at me as if i've grown like 3 heads and started doing a one-(wo)man barber shop quartet. lightbulb goes off in kaeya's head that i don't know jack shit & we're not a thing (yet) and diluc is just thinking like "i can't believe you're literally this oblivious, holy shit". hence kaeya's teasing The Sequel, where he just starts complimenting my uniform and says i look like a cute little maid or whatever and diluc is silently fuming behind me. he mutters something along the lines of "how oblivious can you possibly be?" and all but throws his coat/jacket over me to try and cover me "bc it's cold" (yeah yeah sure, jealous much? haha), then asks me how i never noticed how he felt about me. so i'm there having an earth teyvat-shattering moment of revelation that it WASN'T jean he liked, and that he didn't do all those nice things for me bc i'm friends with her, but because he liked...me????

kaeya smugly walks off with a little "you're welcome", after a his shenanigans, and i'm still trying to process things bc i'd never seen diluc that way, always assuming he'd liked someone else so i never really looked at him that way. we kind of quietly resume our walk back "home" and im clutching his jacket close to me, then we both try to speak at the same time, he tries to ask for my response/reaction and i was trying to ask for some time. he's kind of confused and almost looks hurt, but agrees to give me some time to think, since i explained the whole "not seeing him in that light" and didn't want to answer on a whim. that i didn't want to mistake gratitude for all he's done for me for affection and stuff so he was like hey good point i wouldn't want you to feel like i forced you into this, and no you're not gonna get kicked out/fired if you don't like me back, it's okay. diluc mentions having to be away for 2 weeks cause of a work trip and that i can respond then.

in the meantime, a bunch happened like a trip to liyue with aether & paimon, a whole girls' talk over tea with jean & lisa over the situation, and got my own lil serenitea pot so i potentially had the option of moving out now if i wanted to. i decided to my day off from the tavern to go out on a little adventure, just journey around and test out the teapot home and all that jazz. ran into noelle and we hung out/trained for awhile together and invited her in for for a tea break and stuff, like it was just really cute and fun. but apparently diluc came back a few days early and was freaking out when i was nowhere to be found, no one had any idea where i was, and was just really concerned something might happen to me. then noelle arrives through the gates and overhears him asking lisa stuff and goes all "oh she's over by (idk where i was maybe that bit of land between mond & liyue?) and he thanks her for the info and runs off to find me. he finds the teapot (somehow) on some rock but doesn't see me and i come back out of my lil abode bc someone outside kept saying my name and then i felt the teapot shake (he'd picked it up). cue a dramatic reunion in the rain bc when isn't it pouring and trying to kill me in teyvat in true romcom fashion i guess.

diluc is all "do you have any idea how worried i was about you? all alone out here? any of the abyss mages could have hurt you or taken you away or-" just rambles on and meanwhile im having this sort of Oh You're Back and I Think I'm Feeling Things realization (absence makes the heart grow fonder lol). so there's just this kind of strong, desperate hug moment and everything's quiet, save for the pouring rain and faroff occasional lightning strike. and i whispered something along the lines of "i think i'm in love with you" and his eyes widen before responding smth like "i think i'm in love with you too" with a fond smile, the first genuine huge smile i've ever seen on him (pls picture him like in the manga and not his in game ._. face PLS-🤣). cue another romcom cliche reunion hug + kiss scene in the rain, in which we take shelter from the rain inside the serenitea pot bc of how bad the storm kept getting.

(aether has tubby but i have chummy, kinda looks like the teapot salesman, and i usually just call her chums.) so we're greeted by chums who kind of is like staring daggers at diluc bc i showed up with a guest unannounced, drenched, and we're holding hands. she's overprotective in a very Mom Friend kind of way but she just means well. we change into some baggy share clothes i have and then i scrambled up something to eat (since we can apparently cook & forge in our lil pot i love that so much-) anyway so we decide to get some rest bc it's late and have the Oh No There Was Only One Bed conundrum until we agree to just share and sleep on opposite sides bc nbd right? i turned in my sleep and essentially was hugging his back whilst asleep, and he just turned over at some point and hugged me too, and booooiiii was this fire boy WARM, he felt like a personal heater and after all that rain, i slept like a log. diluc woke up before me cause he's used to an earlier schedule and slips out quietly to speak to chummy, asking if she knew where the supplies were cause he wanted to surprise me with breakfast (and man can he cook! goodbye kfc, hello good hunter). chummy is still kind of not vibing with him, until he apologizes for "intruding" and explains everything that's happened, to which chums kind of softens up and realizes he's sweet and just wants to do something nice, not go around raiding the house. woke up alone and went to look for the source of the smell, and kinda just clung to him, making diluc blush. don't remember too much more after the cooking thing though besides going for a stroll around my teapot layout, meeting all the pets that chill there, and kinda just having a relaxing day off together. the winery staff was probably freaking out wondering where we were, but we were just kinda in our own world (literally?), enjoying the peace before returning to all the chaos that is teyvat. cutest damn dream ❤

#aerinposting #aerin.txt #aerin.dreams #my dreams #aerin's dreams #i forgot what i was tagging these as i'm sorry hfjdjff #Long post #basically this all but counts as a diluc fic #I could most probably reword this and throw in some more detail and make it one lmfaaaaoo.... but will i.... wip's tend to stay wip's 🤧#diluc dream #ft kaeya being a lil shit; jeanlisa being amazing friends; chummy being her wonderful self; brief mention of venti and noelle; & any npcs i #Pls post and dont fail i beg of u;;;;;

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liamiya · 3 years

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Pffft I forgot to enter yesterday. Can I have the butterfly effect? Male matchup with JJK? Thanks babes 💕💕💕

Appearance and style:

I'm a female, 5'1ft and 110lbs (154 cm and 50 - 52Kg). I have short black hair and dark brown eyes. I'm also baby faced which can be annoying at times. I'm slight on the chubby side as well but a lot of people tell me I have an avarage body. My body type is rectangle. I'm in between pale and light brown skinned and my skin is littered with moles and scars. I'm a pure Filipino and I have prescription glasses but I can see fine without them. I've often been called a "soft girl" but I really don't have a certain styles. My clothes are often t-shirts, off-shoulders, (of multiple color and style) and any type jeans. But skinny jeans are my favorite! Hoodies and jackets are a must in winter season. Cause my skin is quite temperature sensitive.

Personality:

I'm often described as a chaotic motherly type of person. But really, it depends per person. I love to tease others but it's not often. And I won't tease them if they are sensitive or short tempered. I can be loud and obnoxious at times but I prefer to stay quiet. But with people I'm very close with, I'm just naturally loud. I can also be such a flirt if I wanted too but I only reserve those skills when needed. It's kinda rusty now but I think I still got it! My patience is very long and I don't get annoyed easily. Though push the right buttons, it won't be pretty.

Affection, teasing, and words are my love language. I tend to get just a tad bit grumpy when I don't get affection. I'm a really observant person, so I'm able to pick up emotional cues, habits, and body language. Though it's does take me a while to get the hang of it. I use that to check on people I care about. I try to act tough and strong so I would be a role model, since I'm the oldest child. I also tend to suppress my emotions and even fake them just so no one would be burden of me. I do share them if I trust you enough. I have the habit of subconsciously changing how I act depending on the people I'm with.

Flaws and strengths:

I can be really insecure and really clingy. My insecurities are usually my body and my abilities. Not only that, I can also be moody, especially on that time of the month. I overthink things a lot. I sometimes even wonder if my friends actually are my friends or they are just tolerating/pity me. Some say I have trust issues (but honestly I don't think I have trust issues I just overthink things). I'm not afraid of material things or the supernatural. I'm afraid of being judged and left alone or abandoned. I also have a slight fear of falling, both literally and metaphorically. I hate the feeling the loneliness.

But I do give good advice, that's what alot of people tell me. My optimism and energy almost always lifts the mood up. I'm great with talking to people. May it be comforting them, persuading, I can do that. I'm also quite good at reading people. Especially if they are close to me and I've been through things alot with them.

Significant other:

Whenever I like someone, it usually ain't obvious to anyone else, since I'm known to be clingy. But, I would be in TOTAL denial of my own feelings. It takes me about a month or so to realize my feelings WITH help. My closest friend always has to tell me that I like the guy before I would actually realize it for myself. However, towards them, it seems as if I'm normal. But whenever they are gone, my fan girl self comes out and I'll squeal.

In terms of WHAT I want in a significant other. One of the things that is needed is that they don't mind me being clingy. They should also be willing to put up with me in general. As I can be moody and an overthinker, they just have to be able to either deal or tolerate it. However, in terms of their personality, I don't really mind how they would act. As long as they are morally good. Possessive? Sure just don't go over board. Protective? Same as the last one, no over board. I know that relationships aren't perfect so whatever flaws they have. I don't care.

Random facts:

I usually listen to pop or ballad but I like almostvall types of music. Songs like IDK you yet by Alexander23 or This is gospel by Panic at the disco are some of my favorite. My star sign is Cancer but I don't really believe it but I love learning about it. I'm an INFP-T (The dreamer) and my Hogwarts house is Ravenclaw! I love learning and doing new things. Science is my favorite subject, specifically Biology/Zoology. I sing and write stories as a hobby.

your destiny is...

Fushiguro seems like a great match for you! He wouldn't mind you being clingy or overthink, he would be willing to help you through anything at all. He is a guy that you can trust, he will always have your back without being too much. He would never leave you alone (emotionally speaking) or make you feel unwanted! Fushiguro will really be a caring boyfriend that you can count on.

Fushiguro could be considered a oblivious guy. He wasn't that good at catching many social cues, granting him a straightforwardness that annoyed a lot of people on his life. But when it came to you, his softness made people surprised.

He noticed you weren't having a good day. He knew your mannerisms, no matter how hard you tried to hide it behind smiles and a happy persona, he knew you felt bad.

After finally being able to get rid of Nobara and Itadori, he practically runned to your room and knocked on the door, trying to calm down his breath. After you opened it, he was quick to wrap you in his arms, unintentionally burying your face against his chest. He kissed the top of your head and murmured against you:

— I'm here. I'm here for you.

the type of gift he would give you!

Fushiguro isn't good with actual presents, but since he read many books, he would give a try on writing for you. Probably writes you a poem or a romantic letter. Delivers it under your door so he can run away before you can see what it is - his blush is too big.

three songs i think would fit you two!

The Neighborhood – Sweater Weather

Imagine Dragons – Next To Me

mxmtoon – cliche

runner-ups!

Inumaki Toge

author's note: im sorry it took so long baby :(( but i rlly hope you enjoyed this!

#🦋 — butterfly effect #jjk #👹 devils #🌸 pauline #this is a scheduled post!

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queenmylovely · 4 years

Note

congratulations on 800 love!! idk if you write for lucy (if you don't you can just write for rog or ben instead, whatever you prefer) but i've had this idea in my mind for weeks now about going on a date with lucy for the first time (i'm thinking dinner? even though it's super cliche lmao) and it's like super romantic and intimate 🥺 maybe you could make this a blurb or hc? 🤭

Oh my gosh, yes I write for Lucy! At least, I do now as this is the first thing I’ve written for her. The concept is not cliche, it’s perfect and this made me so soft, thanks for sending it in 💖 (under the cut cause it’s 1.5k, just fluff)

Masterlist

what’s going on send me something

💖💖💖

Getting out of your uber, you smoothed down your dress and exhaled slowly to calm the nerves you were feeling. The nerves were due to the fact that you were going on your first date with a friend of a friend, Lucy. But the excitement you felt overpowered the nerves. You had already met her once before, at a dinner party at your mutual friend, Gwil’s place. The two of you had instantly caught each other’s eye and made flirty eye contact from either end of the table all night. By the time everyone was leaving, you had worked up the courage to ask for her number and had made plans for the next weekend.

You were walking to the doors of the restaurant, wondering whether Lucy was already inside or if she was still on her way. The latter seemed to be true when you looked around the waiting area and didn’t see her. There was a short line leading to the host station so you went to the end and stood there, glancing at your watch to see that you were exactly two minutes early.

Standing there, you looked around the restaurant and were pleased that you had told Lucy to choose where you went since it looked very nice; the perfect ambience and atmosphere. You were only there for about a minute when you heard your name.

Turning, you saw Lucy walking over to you and smiled brightly to match hers. She came up next to you, scooting past the person in line behind you and pressed a quick kiss to your cheek.

“Have you been waiting long?” she asked, adjusting her purse on her shoulder. Then she looked at you expectantly.

You realized you had just been staring at her, admiring the way her hair framed her face perfectly, the flattering cut of her dress and how she was just a tad taller than you in her heels. Smiling sheepishly you told her, “No, just a minute. You look beautiful by the way.”

Lucy smiled, looking at you happily as her cheeks became a very cute shade of pink, “Thank you, so do you.”

By then, you were at the front of the line and Lucy relayed the reservation information, then the host took you to your table. You sat down across from each other and then started to look at the menu.

“I know we literally just started looking, but do you have an idea of what you want? They have a great red or white if you want to pair it with your meal,” Lucy offered and you grimaced a little. Lucy joked, “What, am I being too controlling?”

“No, not at all. I just don’t like wine,” you said with a laugh.

“Oh, thinking back I do remember you having a G&T instead of Gwil’s rosé,” Lucy replied with a knowing look. “Is that your go-to?”

“Well it’s what most people have stuff for,” you answered. “But I’ll go for a mojito if I can. Like I think I’m gonna go with this peach one.”

“Ooo that looks good,” Lucy said, looking on her menu where you were pointing. “I think I’ll join you.”

A few minutes later, you had your drinks and had ordered your food. The two of you were chatting about work and upcoming projects. Lucy was happy to answer your questions about the films and shows she was working on, but was happier hearing about your job.

“Wow, as someone who’s always just working with someone else’s ideas, it’s wild to me that you actually create everything you do,” she said, her eyes wide.

“Well, we have a group that works on every project, but yeah, a lot of what I do is on my own,” you amended, feeling a rush of pride for what you did based on Lucy’s interest. “But acting definitely takes a bit of creativity, right? Like you have to decide how you’re going to do things.”

“That’s true,” Lucy said with a nod, “You seem to understand a lot of it for someone who said she didn’t ever do any acting.”

“I may have never done any formal acting, nor do I want to,” you shook your head, “However, I’ve been running lines with Gwil since the first year of uni.”

Lucy burst into laughter and you laughed with her but found yourself feeling an inexplicable amount of adoration for her as you did.

“Tell me,” she said with a conspiratorial look and through a few giggles. She leaned closer, her voice getting softer and the scent of her perfume growing stronger, “Has he always been this… pretentious?”

You looked at her in excited shock, reaching over and touching her arm, “Oh my gosh, you think so too?”

She let out a relieved laugh, quickly looking down at your hand, “Yes, but I swear no one else sees it!”

“It’s his ability to charm the shit out of everybody he meets. Never really worked on me though, as much as I love him,” you admitted, lifting your hand to gesture to yourself.

“No, me neither,” Lucy agreed, looking at you so intently that your heartbeat sped up.

“Let’s just say that his 20 minute spiel about the rosé was a repeat performance from one in uni, only then the bottle was worth $8 instead of $35,” you said with a smirk.

Lucy’s face broke into a smile as she laughed, her eyes sparkling. She hit your shoulder lightly, “You’re so bad!” but the look on her face told you she thought anything but.

Half an hour later, the food was eaten and you were looking at the dessert menu together.

“Okay, but the real question is do you like lemons? Because they have an amazing lemon soufflé with a raspberry sauce that is to die for,” Lucy suggested hopefully.

“Sounds perfect,” you told her with a smile.

When the dessert came, you dug into it together, and Lucy tried to ignore the bolt of heat that went through her when you moaned at the taste.

“This is so fucking good,” you said through a half-full mouth and Lucy chuckled. You swallowed your bite and continued, “You know, you have incredible taste. This restaurant, your outfit, this dessert!”

“You,” she added and you felt your cheeks heat up at the compliment, shoving another bite of raspberry covered lemony dessert into your mouth to keep you from saying something dumb.

The two of you continued eating and chatting, playfully using your spoons to fight for the best bites. As she smiled and laughed yet again you felt yourself stumble further down the path of falling in love with her already.

When the check came, you told her that since you were the one that had asked her out you were going to pay and if she wanted to pay then she’d just have to ask you out another time. She looked determined when she said she would.

Since neither of you had driven, you decided to share a car. It allowed for you to sit closer together than any other point in the evening, with your hands resting next to each other’s on the seat and your pinkies brushing together.

You took turns pointing out different things like good restaurants, a hidden shop full of local artist’s work, and eventually just random places you had been as an excuse to lean closer to the other.

The car arrived at your place first since it was closer to the restaurant and Lucy offered to walk you to your door. As you climbed out and fished for your keys, she leaned in the window and told the driver to wait.

She went with you to the entrance of the building and the two of you stood a little to the side to be out of the way.

“I had a really good time tonight,” you said with a soft smile.

“Me too,” Lucy told you. “You’re a great first date. And I’m sure you’ll be an even better second one.”

Your smile grew, already excited for more.

“And you’re so cute,” Lucy added, unable to help herself when you smiled.

You were about to compliment her as well when she leaned forward and kissed you. Her lips were soft and warm and when you didn’t pull away, she brought her right hand to your waist and her left to your cheek to keep you close. Feeling her tongue slide along your lower lip, you opened your mouth for her and brought your left hand to her shoulder and your right one to hold hers in place.

Sighing into the kiss, you enjoyed what you hoped was the first of many, many kisses to come. After a minute, you pulled back and her lips followed yours so you pressed another quick kiss to them.

“The car’s still waiting,” you pointed out.

Lucy blushed, “Oh right, I should--”

“Tell them to leave and then come in with me,” you said, looking at her suggestively.

Lucy was surprised that you were being so forward, but as surprised as she was, she loved it even more and nodded quickly.

“I’ll go do that. Be right back,” she told you, sneaking another little kiss before she turned and rushed down the path back to the car.

You saw the driver shift into gear and start to drive away as Lucy looked back and smiled at you. She was back next to you in a moment, and she grabbed your hand as you unlocked the door with the other.

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