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monty-glasses-roxy · 6 months

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Had a dream about a magic school AU. Like... Literally my school but with magic and with Roxy as a protag because Blorbo. She was the only one in the school without magic so every magic lesson, she'd literally just take a nap on the desk. What else is she gonna do?

But also I dreamed how she was compensating for not having magic. She was mixing chemicals into explosives to win fights and like... Yeah it's kinda hard to argue against the dog with Potion of Kaboom™️

However, because it was a dream, my brain combined the Glams with the cast of Ni No Kuni 2 and got very confused when I woke up because the Kuni 2 cast actually fit a magic environment but FNaF guys do not lmao

There was also a bit where Roxy not having magic means naturally, she doesn't rely on it to solve problems. So while everyone was given the task of making a candle go out without blowing on it, she just. Stared in absolute bafflement as everyone around her immediately dove to figuring out spells that extinguish flames. Instead of just. Water. From the tap. Right next to them.

She decided to freak them out a bit for fun and when the teacher asks for volunteers to come forward to show what they've come up with, she immediately puts her paw up and gets called on. She wets her paw under the tap before anyone has their attention on her, walks up to the candle at the front desk, turns so everyone can see, says all professional "Today, I've learned..." pauses and then... just pinches the flame out. Literally just pinches the wick between the paw pads on her fingers and it goes out immediately. "That you guys are idiots." And walks back to her seat in silence with a smirk.

Naturally, a bunch of kids are yelling that she can't just do that what the fuck?! But she did just do that. It took her half a second to do what's taken all of them a good forty minutes to figure out at least. Teacher asks how she knew that would work and she just "you can't have a flame without oxygen. Obviously." and you get a chorus of "WHAT" and "WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT?!" She's so damn smug about it lmao these people make showing off too easy sometimes.

Like sure, she physically can't pass a mandatory magic exam unless she's able to figure out ways around it, but she can at least fuck around in lessons lmao. She tried skipping them but they started getting on her family with all the typical mandatory attendance shit so she has to go now :/ she just sleeps in them or fucks with people for fun since everyone likes to flaunt their magic on her every day anyway. Eat shit assholes she knows how to put fire out with minimal effort!

I think there was also a bit about her trying to convince teachers that a non-magic sports club would be a good idea?? And failing miserably because they just don't see the value in a magic school with non-magic sports. Thinking now, she could probably make her own club after school but probably wouldn't get that much traction with it... Resenting her family and teachers and every power that be forever because she could be a top student and could be doing amazing in school if she was just in a non-magic focused one. But she's stuck here and it sucks.

I don't know where I'd go with the story but eh it's neat I like it! Definitely different to my normal stuff!

#fnaf security breach #i feel i can't do anything with this without getting accused of inspiration from the worst piece of media ever...#because this site is mostly american and the school from that is literally just the uk's school system... but magic...#all i can see in my head is my buddy restless thinking that fucker made up christmas crackers man #so I'd be very wary touching this one cause i do NOT want to be associated with that bullshit #i never even liked it that much i jusf thought 'hey magic thats neat' and that was it before i Found Out the rest #so like #yeah uhh #new au I'm not sure i CAN do anything with??#without some bright spark making a connection where there isn't one???#uhh... hooray???#I'd love to make it a thing i think it'd be neat even if it would serve OCs better probably #so I'd love to talk about it #but you can see why I'm hesitant to post anymore about it without prompting right?#you guys can see why...?#for most people that aren't from here that series is the first interaction with the british school system they've seen #so a lot of people seem to think it was designed and made by that fucker when it legit wasn't #we have school houses here that's fairly normal... and christmas crackers...#and whatever else cause i don't remember a damn thing I've never seen any of those films the whole way through lmao #but anyway on that note... if you were wondering from that tag...#i was in the blue house in primary school. we were the falcons :)#we won the house points a lot it was great!!#anyway yeah I'm up to talking about this one and developing it more! I just... maybe won't unless someone specifically asks about it #ya know?#ask away if you want to!!! would be happy to fuck around with it!!!#otherwise I'll just. keep it to discord rambles... which is less fun honestly #but hey it works

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pillowbelphs · 3 years

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Can you Please Just Hold me? - Lucifer, Satan, Diavolo

genre: fluff

word count: all of them are between 360-380 words

@skatingempress asked: Prompt #16 with Satan and/or Lucifer? 🥺

@obeyme-arkham asked: Hii! So I have a bunch of ideas and I hope your ready for them! So can I get prompt numbers 15 and 16 with Diavolo? So he found out that MC doesn't have a good relationship with their father, and he is determined to be the one that they never had. Lol I've always saw dia as a father figure so if its weird for you, you don't have to do it. And also I'm putting my requests from anyone onto a masterlist and if your not okay with that lmk 🙂

Prompts 15.”“I’m right here.” and prompt 16, “Can you just please hold me?” from this list

author’s note: since there were multiple requests for this prompt, i’ve decided to merge them all together in a sort of reaction-type post, i hope that’s okay! and for diabolo’s i made sure to use both prompts asked for from the prompt list!

if you have any more requests, don’t hesitate to ask!

xoxo moon

Lucifer;

- it had been a long day at R.A.D, and everything seemed to be going wrong

- you tripped up the stairs, dropping all of your books and securing you a seat in detention

- you had forgotten your lunch or beel had eaten it without you noticing, and you hadn’t brought any money with you

- and to top it off, it seemed as if everyone was giving you an attitude today

- you were honestly so exhausted by the time you got home, you didn’t even want to head to lucifer’s office; just straight to bed

- you ended up going into his office anyway, sitting down on the couch he had an closing your eyes.

- “how’s my rebel?”

- “oh, so you heard about my detention?”

- “mammon was having a fit about it on the way home, he nearly popped a blood vessel from laughing.”

- “I don’t want to talk about it”

- lucifer did not dare to press any further, sensing that you were not in the mood to discuss much of anything

- for a while, the sound of his pen signing documents was all that could be heard coming from his office

- you shifted on the couch a few times, not being able to get comfy

- of course, this captured his attention

- “are you alright?”

- “how much paperwork do you have left?”

- lucifer looked at his desk; it was only a small stack, it shouldn’t take him more than an hour to finish.

- “only a little bit.”

- after he had finishes the paperwork, he got up from his desk

- you thought he was coming towards you, but instead, he walked right passed you and out the door

- you groaned, wanting nothing more than your boyfriends attention soon he came back in, and before he could sit back down, you stood up and blocked his way

- you were clearly exasperated

- “what’s the matter?”

- “can you please just hold me?”

- lucifer smiled softly, pulling you into his arms without a second thought

- “it’s quite late…” he said, “and you still haven’t done any homework”

- you groaned into his chest

- he pet your hair softly

- “but…since i just made up our bed for you, i suppose we can turn in now and do it in the morning, hm?”

Satan;

- you hadn’t been able to sleep at all for the past week

- with your room next to levi’s, and a new multiplayer game being just released, all you heard every night was him screaming through his headset to his teammates

- which , in all honesty, didn’t really bother you

- except for the fact that mammon’s room was on the other side

- mammon had bought a new projector and had decided to start watching action movies at midnight every night

- you were stuck between a rock and a hard place, and it left you highly irritated every morning

- it was the weekend, and you had the option to sleep in

- and yet, because it was the weekend

- it meant that the aforementioned two demons were partaking in their hobbies all hours of the day

- leaving you yet again with no chance to sleep

- after hours of trying, you decided to make the walk to your boyfriends room

- would books be all over his bed? probably

- did you care that you would most likely be sleeping atop the A,D and G issues of the encyclopedia? not at all

- you knocked on his door softly, the sounds from down the hallway already fading from your ears

- “come in” he hummed

- you opened the door to see him sitting on his bed, with a book in his hand

- he smiled at you softly, placing his book on his side table

- his smile soon dropped, though, as he saw the dark circles underneath your eyes

- “are you okay my love?”

- “i’m exhausted,” you said, falling into his embrace as he stroked your hair gently

- “it is mammon?”

- “and levi,” you said, now wrapping your arms around him, “i haven’t slept in days”

- without a second thought, he wiped the books from his bed a true gentleman and helped you lay down

- he even fluffed his pillow for you

- “is there anything you need?”

-“would you please just..hold me?”

- he smiled, nodding softly as he crawled into bed with you and wrapped his arms around you, placing a kiss on top of your forehead

- it was the first time in weeks you had gotten sleep, and it was the best sleep you had had in years.

Diavolo;

- You had quickly formed a relationship with Diavolo

- your whole entire life, you lacked a strong fatherly figure to help and take care of you and baby you when needed

- this changed though, once you came down to the Devildom

- like most kids do when their parents are teachers in their school, you found yourself waltzing down to his office

- even during classes, usually excusing yourself for a bathroom break

- and he never stopped you

- usually inviting you to stay for tea, and even reprimanding teachers who raised a question when they saw that you stopped returning to class after leaving

- during your visits to his castle, you even had a designated spot on the couch

- Barbatos knew the way you liked your tea like the back of his hand

- one day, you had been at his home, watching a movie

- when a scene with a child and their father came on

- you began tearing softly, wiping the tears away and hoping that diavolo didn’t notice

- but, of course, he did

- “(y/n), why are you crying? would you like to turn off the movie?”

- he sat next to you, resting his arm around your shoulders

- which made you start crying even more

- you felt comfortable around diavolo, which made you open up about everything

- you never had a strong relationship with your father, often having to navigate the world on your own and without a guiding hand

- hearing this broke diavolos heart

- he squeezed you shoulders

- “hey, I’m right here.”

- which, in turn, made you cry harder

- though he usually felt too flustered watching people cry, and would start freaking out and feeling unsure of what to do

- he knew you needed someone

- and he wasn’t going to leave your side

- “is there anything you need? some tea maybe? i can call barb—“

- “can you please just hold me?”

- the sad, lonely look in your eyes made his heart ache

- he nodded, squeezing your shoulder and pulling you into him without a second thought

- letting you cry into his collar bone

- he’ll have this shirt dry cleaned anyway

- the whole time you were crying, he was whispering affirming things into your ear

- “i’ll protect you from now on, okay, (y/n)? you’re not alone anymore.”

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its-me-im-coraline · 3 years

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Best Years // Thomas Raggi // Playlist

words // 1109

warnings // angst as hell, why am i writing so much angst? I dont know

pairing // Thomas Raggi x GN!Reader

author's note // if you want to be on the tag list let me know. sorry I did not post yesterday, i was not feeling really inspired at all so yeah, but thankfully that's changed today so here. WHO LET ME WRITE SO MUCH ANGST SOMEONE STOP ME OMG. Unless you like the angst, then don't stop me 😉 Also please forgive me for making Thomas the bad guy on this fic, i literally randomly picked the songs for these fics at first without thinking of the lyrics so now I'm stuck with the consequences of angst

request // nope

summary // Thomas and reader have been having an on and off relationship. One moment they are together, the next they are entertaining other people; but in the end they only ever think of each other.

“Don’t you just feel great, here, like that, with me holding you?” The man was lying on the bed of his hotel room, his partner in his arms, simply basking in the afterglow of what went down a few minutes ago.

Y/N just smiled at him, eyes closed and head resting on his shoulder. “Mhm,” they simply mumbled, drifting off to sleep.

By the time morning came around Thomas had already gotten up, leaving his partner alone in the bed before abandoning the room heading for the dinning area for breakfast. When he got to it his bandmates were already there, sitting at a table and eating, only giving him a disappointed look.

“You didn’t tell them. Again.” Victoria glared at her friend while poking her eggs with her fork maybe a little to violently

“There is nothing to say Vic. We are together again, what happened when we were not does not concern them.”

“Thomas! This has already happened so many times. You break up, you go with someone else, you get back together and act like nothing happened!” He was their friend, that is for sure, but Thomas’ bandmates pride themselves in their honesty and in their effort to be respectful. It did not seem to be the case for the younger man.

He wasn’t a bad person, no, but his mind was clouded by the options, the excitement of the moment, that rush. He loved Y/N - not that he knew that - but he had a terribly difficult time being consistent. He was young, spontaneous, had not had much time to explore his options, and while it was entirely wrong, he did so now at the expense of his lover. The words he heard put him in deep thought, and at this time deep thought ment deep drinking for him.

As the night rolled around Thomas found himself occupying the hotel bar. Considering emotions, problems and choices is a hard thing and though he had to do so he was not even remotely ready for that. The comfort of the drink and the existence of beautiful women was enough for a journey of the mind and a mistake of the body. By the time he was done he found himself sitting outside of his hotel room, where Y/N was just inside.

His back was on the wall and his eyes were closed, almost falling asleep right there, so he failed to hear them open the door. “Thomas, dio mio, I was just coming to look for you! Are you okay?” They were concerned to say the least, an obvious observation really. Their eyebrows were furrowed, lips separated and hand on their chest, holding the little pendant Thomas had given them - it was a thing they tended to do whenever they were nervous, hold the charm of the pendant, take a deep breath and it helped calm them down.

“No need, amore, as you can see I’m right here,” he slurred, stumbling across words, missing letters… He was very far gone and anyone could see that.

Y/N simply took a deep breath, bracing themselves for the upcoming night and morning. It was always the same cycle. He did something he should not, he would drink, do more things he should not and come back to Y/N. It was never fun but they did not have the heart to just leave him there.

“Come on, Thom, help me a little bit! You need to get up.” The man groaned but did as told before getting inside the room with his… partner.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered as Y/N sat him in the bathtub, trying to rid him of his drunken state even a little bit.

“I know you are.”

“No, no, no, you don’t understand! I really am sorry. I want to change…”

How many times? Just how many times has he said the same things, same excuses and same empty promises. It never changed and it had certainly gotten tiring. That was precisely the reason they could not believe that Thomas this time would be different, he had given them a million reasons to hesitate.

Maybe it was the on and off that became tiring, both parties figuring out different excuses that simply did not make sense, but always being enough to cause the temporary break ups. A lot of the time, especially if on tour, Thomas would find someone to ‘comfort’ him for a few nights, wasting his time with people that simply were not his. They never were Y/N, no matter how hard he tried to not think about that, he’d wake up the next morning with an unfamiliar person but a familiar discomfort in his stomach.

“It will not be the same, amore, I promise,” he said this time, “you’ll see! I’m willing to try.”

To be completely honest, Y/N did not seem to believe much of the man’s words. They had heard them time and time again, it had become difficult to put trust in them again. “I am not sure, Thomas,” they said, leaning behind them on the counter, “how can I possibly say that it’s ok, how can we be together, again?” The exasperation was obvious, not being able to be contained, after all the pain and the strain in their heart.

“I know, I know. I’ve been terrible… But I really am willing to change. Make it up for all the times I screwed up. I’ll make up for all of your tears.”

Y/N stayed quiet. They did not want to continue this conversation, especially while Thomas was drunk, this state making it even harder to believe him.

“I did not do it,” he breathed out after the silence had gotten too much, “I didn’t do it this time…”

“What didn’t you do?” asked Y/N, curiosity lacing their voice, puzzled at his words.

“I didn’t go with anyone. Not when we were apart this time, not while I got drunk. Everyone thinks I did so I let them believe it, but I didn’t,” he explained looking down, “I couldn’t.”

“Why?” They knew it was not the question they should be asking but before thinking the word had already come out.

“Because I realized something,” he responded, putting his palm on Y/N’s face after they came back to the side of the tub.

The only hummed back at him, prompting him to continue. “I want to be with you, for good. No more fighting, no more drinking, no more tears, baby. Nothing. I want to be full on this, please. I’ll give you the best years and nothing else will matter anymore.”

tag list: @bieberhoodforever @tabi-toast @ginny-lily @moriro-da-regina @the-killer-queenie @makapaka11

playlist tag list: @cheese-toastie-11

#maneskin imagine #maneskin fanfiction #maneskin #måneskin #thomas raggi imagine #thomas raggi #playlist series

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crqstalite · 4 years

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From the prompt list? I'm sending in something simple with will, hopefully, just go in any direction you want. And that's "Always." For whichever pairing you wish :)

posting this before i chicken out, because i’ve been at this for like eight hours already lol. trying my hand at a little shakarian [petrakarian, in this case], and there’s a sprinkle of happiness if you squint ;)

edit: i’ve also never written garrus before honestly. definitely tried my best but i’m sure there are mistakes in there somewhere. regardless, happy to provide.

pairing: brione petrakis/garrus vakarian. word count: 2,611

She's putting it off. Leaving, as it was.

Honestly, she doesn't know why. Her bags are all packed, her dress blues are pressed and folded on the cot next to her. Her datapad has been prepped to send all of her reports straight to Alliance Command. Yet she's left her comb in her duffel, hair decidedly unbrushed around her shoulders, still sitting in her fatigues and they're only an hour out from the Citadel. She could be in the crew quarters, going over any possible assignments they could give her. She could be trying to get another couple of winks in. Anything other than being here, and desperately hanging on to what felt like the last thing she had in the galaxy.

It would've been so much easier not to be here right now, but nothing in the last year had been easy. It's harder to force herself out, hell she's been sleeping in here for the last week or so.

The lights flicker just above her, the battery still stuttering in a way that frustrated Garrus to no end. Not that they had much need for it these days, but she'd offered to take a look at it. He'd been content to let her sit nearby. Talking about trivial things during the first few days after the suicide mission with some of her senses glossed over by pain meds, maybe more than a little wine in their systems. Then it waned into painful silence as they grew closer to the station, wine bottle empty and all sentiments aired. All the things she knows she can't say, all the things she wants to.

She rolls another bandage around her hand, pulling taut. It'd been her good hand too, a lucky shot taken by a Collector that had left her unable to snipe properly during the last leg of the base assault. Still bruised and trying it's hardest to bleed through. Mordin hadn't been there to do it properly, so it had been her, hearing gunshots against the barrier they'd set up, blood gushing from her hand with Garrus asking her if she was alright. Medi-gel spilling from her shaking hands, only being able to offer suppressing fire with her Carnifex before Shepard told them to retreat. Her wrist whined from the motion, and she barely catches a blue eye darting between her and the UI when she groans.

"Still bothering you?" His voice is softer than usual when she catches him in the act, hands stilling over the keyboard, "Chakwas should really take a look at that."

"She can once we're back in Alliance space," Brione haphazardly cuts off the end of it, tucking it under one of the other wraps. She tests a smile with the nearly healed scar on her lip, "Besides, you're the one who was apparently up and fighting with Shepard not even two days after you nearly died, Garrus."

Another beat of silence before he starts again, mandibles flaring as he sighs. Exasperated with her, maybe. He'd been bothering her about it for days now, usually asking how it was and if she needed anything, "We Turians are a bit hardier than our human counterparts," He gestures to the scarred side of his head, bandage recently removed. "Brione-"

"Don't." She lays the gauze down next to her, unable to meet his eyes. She doesn't want to think about the fact these are their last days together, the fact this could very well be the last time she hears him say her name. There wasn't much guaranteed after their non-human crewmembers stepped off the ship, nothing saying he had to stay with her, even over light years separating them, "I'll see Chakwas once, once everyone is gone. Shepard will have my head if I lose a hand before we get there anyway."

"You can't hide in here forever, Brione," Is all he says, giving her a concerned look but finishing his diagnostics on the console first, "No reason in putting it off."

This talk has been a week coming. He hesitates, unsure of himself while she tries to will the tears away, turning away from him. What was she, six? She could handle a suicide mission (which they'd all nearly died on), so why was saying goodbye, saying see you later, saying that she'd see him again soon so hard? She was a captain of the Alliance military, not a babbling schoolgirl with a crush.

Except, that's what it felt like, navigating a relationship with him. She'd downright giggled at something he'd told her.

Does he know just how much he means to her?

It wasn't as if extranet access would be blocked for her when she got back to Earth. By every law that Shepard had learned (and in turn exploited) surprisingly quickly, most of the human operatives aboard the SR-2 wouldn't be arrested under the same duress she would be. Brione could still send messages to Palaven, could still say hello every once and a while.

Hello wasn't the same as being able to sit in a comfortable silence with one at the console, the other completing her daily reports with her legs folded under her, hair tied up in a messy bun at the base of neck. Hello wasn't the same as finding leftovers from the dinner prepared earlier and pulling all-nighters just to spend some time together.

Brione wasn't sure when this had turned into more, when she had started to want more. When she couldn't think of a tomorrow without him. At first, she'd just entertained it as little more than a fling, if she was going to die at the end of the year, then she could cross a few things off her bucket list. And, he was a friend. They'd met a few years before the SR-1, a one off meeting during her shore leave. Then they'd been squadmates, fighting their way through waves and waves of Geth, two snipers snipping at each other for their aim. It boggled the mind that it'd been so quick after Alchera, that she started to discover little things about him when she had little else to do. The small visits about the battery that turned into hour long conversations once she'd rejoined the Normandy. One or the other venting about a minor problem or a large one they'd held onto for so long they'd made a joke of it.

He'd patiently listened when she recounted the dressing down she'd been given after Torfan and the therapy sessions she'd attended afterwards. That, she'd never told anyone about in detail. Hated reliving the day, but it slipped from her mouth so easily while she'd been sitting on the crates. Then she'd sipped on some sort of tea Shepard had picked up on the Citadel, listening to him about Sidonis, about his time on Omega in general. That by the time they were within range of the relay, she'd simply decided she didn't want to let go. That there wasn't anyone like him, that there was so much left that she still wanted. They'd spent the night on the cot he'd dragged in here sometime ago, and she'd never felt so alive.

Then they'd survived. And then there was a whole new life expanding before her, with the Reapers looming over them. But she'd lived, they'd lived, and now she wasn't sure what they were. It wasn't a fling anymore, but she didn't know where he fit into her life.

Whether he wanted to fit in her life. She's sure he could have just about anyone, and he hadn't seemed too upset, giving her the way out of asking whether she wanted something closer to home.

How did he become her home? It could've been anywhere else, on Earth, in London, on the Citadel. But instead, it was a certain Garrus Vakarian.

"This isn't -- it isn't the end, Brione, not if you don't want it to be," He holds a hand out to her, "If I know Shepard, and I'd assume I do, she'll get us back into the thick of it within a couple months. If that."

"That might be a little optimistic," She responds, toying with her hair for a moment before grasping his hand, pulling herself up off the cot to look at him properly. She gently holds a hand against the scarred side of his head, brushing the rough plates with her thumb, "I would've been rather stupid to think this would last forever, running into the sunset. I'm just glad we had what we did, Garrus."

He leans into her touch, his other arm snaking around her waist. Why did it have to be him that she'd become attached to? The first person that'd make her feel more like a living being than a cold blooded killer that remained a few seconds from death every time she stepped off the ship?

Why is he all she can think about these days?

"I," He pauses again, "I'll always just be a comm away. If that's what you want, of course."

"Always, hm?" She asks, "Don't know how timezones work from Earth to Palaven, but if you haven't noticed, I'm not much of sleeping person. You could lose a lot of it, talking to me. But you've never minded it before now, I guess."

"It'd be better than nothing." He responds, when she drops her hand and instead pulls him closer to her. Maybe it's not the most comfortable with him in armor, and her still regularly needing their dwindling supply of pain meds, but she just wants to feel something, anything. She can't go back to the way things were, alone, and cold in an alliance apartment with nothing but her next meal going for her.

"I don't want to leave you, Garrus," She admits, her voice cracking. Brione won't cry, she wills herself not to, even as the dam strains against them, "You, damn you, you're...everything."

"You're...lovely yourself, Brione. Not like I'm itching to leave either, not when everything's already going right for once," He responds, the words thrumming through what she thinks are Turian subvocals. If Turians even can whisper, she's pretty sure he is while gently running his hands through her hair, then trailing down her back, "But I'm not sure I look all that good in...what was it Shepard called it? 'Jumpsuit orange'? Not sure how friendly the Alliance would be to me either."

"Probably not very," She tries to laugh, tries to force anything out at all, but instead all she gets is a choking sound that she could compare to a varren. A rogue tear slips out anyway, and all she hopes for is that Garrus can't see it. Why is she falling apart? Why now? She has a million and three battles under her belt, and this is what shatters her? Not a shotgun, not a scion, but this.

She'd said goodbye to so many people before. To her various adoptive parents over the years, her old COs, even Alenko more recently. None of them destroyed her like this was.

Relationships. They're impossible. They're weaknesses and vulnerabilities that your enemies are just waiting to take advantage of. Even more if your's is a cross-species liaison, one that shouldn't have become everything that it was now.

Brione doesn't want to live without him.

She can't bring herself to say it out loud, so she doesn't. He holds her a little while longer, they don't say anything but reassuring the other all would be well. Or at least they try, and it dissolves until silence when there isn't anything to say but repeat themselves ten times over. They sit for a while after that, time whittling down all the while. Her hands fit a bit oddly in his, but she can't find herself wanting to let go all the while.

Shepard's voice comes over the comm with a timer on their arrival, and she has to pick up her things, fastening the last button on her jacket and throwing her duffel bag over her shoulder. Garrus offers her one last lingering forehead touch when they reach the airlock, and she kisses him softly, knowing if she stays any longer, she won't be able to leave.

But she does. She has to be able to.

She sees him off, the glint of his blue armor the last thing she sees. She thinks she's the perfect picture of someone who was trying (and inwardly failing) to stay afloat with a forced grin and a wave as he walks off. Brione doesn't care, as much as the crew teases her about calibrations in more than one capacity. A few get a smile out of her, but she feels numb the rest of the way to Earth.

Cold. It settles in like an all too familiar blanket. The chill of not really seeing the faces of the people around her, nor acknowledging what they had to say.

She slips back into her normal routines, after the hearing. Doesn't even realize it at first, but without her usual visits to someone who wasn't dolled up in Alliance blue, there's nothing to it. She's shuttled back to the Citadel after a month, sent to work with Udina. A liaison to Alliance and from the Council, is effectively her job description. It's like clockwork, sleep, work, find something to eat if she was feeling physically up to it, work until she couldn't, then reluctantly sleep again. Fix up her sniper rifle on the weekends, take it to a range to keep herself sharp.

There's no Turian on her six though. No one there to bother her that her shot is off just a few inches so that clips the outside of the target.

She sees his face in every single one that walks by until they all blur together. She hears his voice in every C-SEC officer that speaks to Udina, to her.

It isn't until two months later that she receives a mail on her comm. Right in the middle of another one of Udina's tirades about the lack of Council support and funding, she opens it like any other email she'd received before. Calculating, tired, she reads over the sender, the subject line and is halfway through scrolling through it when the glaze over her eyes recedes and she realizes just who it is. Her breath catches in her throat, taking her leave for the afternoon.

She finally gets a call after work that day. And just as suspected, it keeps her up all night. There's so much to say, so much that she hadn't known. Her new job, his new task force. And yet, he still seems so indescribably happy to see her. That her eyes are barely being held open to focus on him, but that he's here, as much as he can be.

"Sure you don't want to take back that offer of always being on the other end of the comm? Now that we've done it, I might get a taste for it," She says, yawning as she absentmindedly rubs an eye. Udina will give her shit for being there late in the morning (in a couple hours really), but she doesn't care.

"As long as you want me to be," He nods, "Well, hopefully you don't start calling me at the oddest hours of the night or in the middle of meetings, but always, yes."

"Hm. I'll file it under consideration," She perches her head on her palm, taking in every detail the vid would let her, "Always?"

"Always. Now get some sleep, Brione," His voice softens, mandibles flaring into a smile as her vision blurs, "Good night."

Five months after that, communication to Palaven goes dark. The Reapers attack, and she watches wide-eyed as they touch down in Earth.

And her always becomes an empty promise with every refugee she watches come in during the days afterwards.

Garrus is not among them.

#mass effect #mass effect oc #original character #oc #brione petrakis #petrakarian #female original character/garrus vakarian #f!shakarian #mass effect 2 #mass effect fanfiction

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tintedglasses · 5 years

Note

some velvet morning! I'm so obsessed with that fic

(from this) that is the very first fic i ever posted and also my longest fic! i was really intimidated when i first found out who i was assigned to for the Tomlinshaw Exchange but luckily the prompts were right up my alley i’ve done some digging and i found two deleted scenes for you, so i’m going to include them both!:

1. Louis goes back to work

Louis’ boss calls him that Thursday, reminding him that he’s scheduled to work Friday night. While part of Louis has enjoyed sitting around at home all week, he can’t deny that he’s looked forward to getting back into the swing of things and being productive.

After all, the more time he sits by himself, the more he thinks about Nick and he resolutely does not want to do that. Because the problem with thinking about Nick is that he can’t just remember the bad times, how alone he felt towards the end, that crushing realization that it wasn’t going to work out the way Louis wanted. He does think about those times, of course. Thinks about them a lot, actually.

But thinking about Nick means thinking about the good times, too. The late-night trips to the fish and chip shop down the street from Louis’s shitty student flat after Nick’s show, laughter bouncing off the buildings around them. The afternoons spent watching soaps on the telly when Louis didn’t have class, mixing corn pops and frosted flakes. Kissing in the morning, Nick’s eyes still half-shut, before leaving for class.

It hurts.

He didn’t really know that he’d been harboring all of these feelings for Nick still, only letting himself tap into them while writing before locking them up tight again. But now they are undeniably, unbearably there, right under his skin.

He doesn’t know why they haven’t gone away, why he can’t make them go away, because it’s stupid, really. It’s been years since they were together and Louis was so, so convinced that it was for the best. That they’d both moved on.

Now, he’s not so sure. He doesn’t know about Nick, despite what Niall and Lottie try to convince him, but he knows there’s still something there on his end. He just doesn’t know what he’s supposed to do about it.

All in all, it’s driving him fucking crazy. Barely three days ago, he was suggesting that they get divorced and now he’s entertaining thoughts of them getting back together? Must have lost the fucking plot.

So, yes, he’s in dire need of a distraction.

Niall’s not too happy about him going back to work when Louis tells him later that night, insisting that it’s too soon. You just had a brain injury only a week ago, Louis, just tell Simon you need more time. Fuck that. His head doesn’t even really hurt anymore, aside from the brief headache he gets every morning, and his ribs only ache if he moves a certain way.

So, it’s fine. He’ll go back to work and he’ll do his bloody job and he’ll be fine.

——

He’s only been at work for an hour, but it’s becoming increasingly apparent that he is not fine.

He’s trying, he is. He pulling pints and flirting for tips and making sure the glasses are stocked at all times, but it feels like the actions are pure rote at this point. There’s a steady thrum of panic, electric beneath his skin, that’s getting harder to ignore. Instead of settling in, he only gets more and more jumpy, his shaking hands clumsily spilling vodka on the bartop while he tries to pour shots.

It comes to a head halfway through his shift, as he’s weaving through the crowd, strobes lights bouncing off of the tray of shots in his hand, tequila this time. Someone behind him presses at one of his ribs, just a guiding hand as they move past him, but he nearly jumps out of his skin. It didn’t even hurt, really. Rather, it’s the jolt of fear that shoots from the base of his neck down his spine that makes him drop the tray.

It feels like his world shrinks exponentially in the moment between when the tray leaves his hand to when it hits the ground, the air sucked out of his lungs.

He jumps at the noise of the glass shattering on the ground even though he knew it was coming. His memory flicks back for a moment to Nick’s kitchen, a shattered mug lying at his feet.

But he’s not in Nick’s kitchen. He’s broken out of the memory by a yelp. He looks to his left and sees a girl in sandal type heels, pulling her hand away from her foot. The strobe lights flash and Louis sees blood. Fuck.

He notices the blood at the same time as her boyfriend does, who is in his face not a second later.

“What the fuck is your problem, mate?” the man snarls. His breath smells like whiskey and coke. “My girlfriend just fucking sliced her foot open, you clumsy shit.”

Louis can feel himself trembling, his head pounding. “I’m sorry–I didn’t mean.”

The man’s girlfriend is trying to pull her boyfriend away, blood from her hand smearing on his light blue shirt. “Michael, I need to go wash my foot.”

“No, I’m not done with him yet,” the guys says, pushing her hand off to get closer to Louis. “Where’s your manager, huh? I’ll have you fucking fired for this.”

Louis’s face is hot and he can feel the tears welling in his eyes. Some far off part of his thinks it’s stupid because this is just some douchey guy, but most of him is fucking terrified. People around them have stopped dancing, openly staring at them, but none of them are helping. And he’s not in the alley, but he feels cornered all the same.

“I swear, I didn’t mean–” his throat feels sticky and he has to clear it before continuing. “I can–I’ll go get someone.”

He starts backing up before he runs into someone, who grips his shoulders. He bats at their hands, scrambling.

“Hey, Louis, whoa,” Ben, one of the bodyguards says, releasing Louis’s shoulders instantly. He takes in Louis’s face, his brow furrowing. “What’s going on? Did something happen, Lou?”

The boyfriend–Michael?–cuts in, “Yeah, he dropped a fucking tray and my girlfriend cut her foot on the glass.”

Ben sees the blood on the girl’s foot and the floor, and curses. “Shit. Okay, here’s let’s take her to the staff room, we’ve got a first aid kit back there.”

He starts to usher them off, the boyfriend seemingly forgetting about Louis and focusing on helping his girlfriend hobble off the dancefloor. Ben looks back for a moment, addressing Louis, who’s frozen in his place, heart rabbiting. “Lou, why don’t you go to Simon’s office, okay? I’ll get Niall to clean this up for you.”

Fuck, he doesn’t want Niall to even see this, let alone have to clean it up. Besides, Louis knows that he should be the one picking it up, knows that it’s the person who made the mess’s responsibility to clean it.

However, he’s fairly sure he’s about 30 seconds away from a meltdown, so he has no other choice than to push his way through the crowd until he gets back to bar, ducking through the side door that leads to Simon’s office.

Thankfully, it’s empty. Louis slides his way down the wall, tucking his head between his knees. His body is sore from the rush of adrenaline and the lack of air getting through his lungs. He can’t turn the memories off, the men from the attack blending with the man from today until his palms are sweaty.

The door opens and Louis’s head shoots up.

“Hey, it’s just me,” Niall says quietly, closing the door behind him.

Louis tears bubble up at the sight of him. He clears his throat, willing them back down. “Aren’t you supposed to be picking up?” Louis chokes out.

“I made Deo do it,” Niall admits. He comes over and crouches opposite Louis. “Besides, I needed to see how my best mate was doing.”

Louis tears to run over at that and Niall doesn’t hesitate before scooping him into a hug.

“You’re scaring me, mate,” Niall murmurs quietly. “What happened? Ben said some twat got mad cos you dropped some shots?”

Louis nods into Niall’s neck.

Niall pulls back to look at Louis’s face. “Why the tears then, hey? Usually you just tell them to fuck off.”

Louis chuckles, a bit snotty, at that. “I don’t know…I just, I thought he was gonna…”

Niall’s face falls a little, “Oh. Well, that’s understandable. It’s only been a week. No one’s expecting you to be over it yet.”

Louis had, and he knew Simon had, too. Fuck, Simon’s going to be pissed that he broke all those glasses.

He looks down at his hands, “Is the girl okay?”

“What girl?” Niall asks, confusion clear in tone. He must not have seen her.

“The guy’s girlfriend cut her foot. That’s why he was so mad,” Louis says, a stab of guilt stinging in his gut.

“Oh, I didn’t see her. She’s probably fine. Happens every week you know that,” Niall shrugs.

Louis can’t deny that, having seen countless girls cut their feet on broken beer bottles and the like. He’s just never been the cause of it.

“It’s fine, Lou, really,” Niall claps him on the shoulder. “Listen, why do I go talk to Simon and talk about getting you out of here, okay? It’s a slow Friday so we can hold down the fort without ya. Besides, Simon shouldn’t have even asked you to work anyways.”

Louis wants to argue that, because he should have been fine. There’s no real reason for him to be freaked out–he didn’t even get attacked in the bar. But being on edge all night has him feeling drained and he knows he’s probably going to be useless for the rest of his shift anyways, trembling too hard still.

“Yeah, fine,” he mutters.

“Good lad,” Niall says, and it should be patronizing, but it’s Niall, so it isn’t. “Just wait here, I’ll go talk to him.”

Louis focuses on breathing until Niall comes back, probably ten minutes later.

“You’re all set to go,” Niall says. Louis isn’t too shocked that Simon’s letting him go; he can be surprisingly empathetic at times. “Listen, I have to get back out there, but I want you to text me when you get home, okay?”

“Yes, mum,” Louis says, huffing out a laugh.

“Good,” Niall says before ducking back out the door.

Louis stops in the staff room to grab his stuff, the girl and her boyfriend luckily long gone. Once he has everything, he heads back to the front and out into the muggy night air.

2. Nick calls Louis after a nightmare

Louis wakes up to his phone ringing. He knows it’s late because he got back from his shift at 1am, and it’s still dark out. He squints at the screen. It’s 3am and it’s Nick. Shit.

“Hello?” he answers quickly.

“I just need you to tell me you’re okay,” Nick says, a panicked tinge to his voice.

“What?” Louis asks, unsure what Nick means.

“I had a dream and I woke up alone and I need you to tell me that you’re okay.”

“I’m okay, Nick,” Louis says. “I’m okay. Just breathe, alright?”

Nick takes a few deep breaths. “Sorry, I just–I didn’t mean to bother you. This is stupid.”

“Hey, it’s alright,” Louis says. He sits up against his headrest. “We can talk about it. If you want, that is.”

“No, it’s late and you should be–”

“Nick, it’s fine. I don’t have to get up early tomorrow.” Louis winces thinking about the wake-up call Nick is going to get in a mere two hours though. “You can tell me what it was about if it’ll help you get back to sleep.”

“It was…,” Nick trails off, hesitant. “It was a phone call from the hospital.”

Louis stomach drops faintly. “What did they say?”

“It was the same phone call as before. That they found you and they couldn’t tell me anything except which hospital you were going to.”

“Oh, Nick. I’m so sorry.”

“I was just so worried because I didn’t know what had happened or if you were going to be okay.” Louis doesn’t know if Nick is talking about the dream or real life now, but Nick’s voice cracks at the end and Louis’s heart cracks along with it.

“I’m okay. I swear,” Louis says, trying as hard as he can to be comforting. He hates that he hurt Nick like this, even if it isn’t his fault.

“I know. Just…the whole way to the hospital, all I could think about was that if you were okay, I was going to try to fix this. That I would make everything okay again.”

“That’s not on you, Nick. I’m the one who fucked up,” Louis says.

“I know and that really hurt,” Nick says, making Louis’s stomach drop that final inch. “But the thought of being without you forever…that hurt so much more than anything. And I need to know if there’s something there for you still. If you could still want this. Because I’m not ready yet, I don’t think, but I really want to be.”

Louis cries, half out of sadness for Nick and half out of relief. He hadn’t let himself fully acknowledge how much he wanted Nick back until now, but the want burns bright in his chest. “I’ve been trying to figure out how not to want you for so long, but it never went away. And I don’t think it’s going to anytime soon. For as long as it takes.”

“Really?” Nick asks, sniffling a bit.

“Yeah, really. I promised forever, didn’t I?”

“You did,” Nick laughs wetly. “I don’t think we need to think about forever right now, though. Maybe just lunch next week? As friends? If that’s okay. I just think I need to go slow.”

“Slow is good, I think.” Louis says, trying to quell the panic about having lunch in public with Nick. The press or anyone else don’t matter. He’s not going to let them.

“Okay, I’ll, um, text you about it, I guess,” Nick says. “I should probably get to bed, though. I have to get up in…fuck, an hour and a half.”

“Get some sleep,” Louis says, yawning reflexively.

“Yeah, okay. Goodnight, Lou,” Nick says.

“Goodnight, Nick.”

#theres probably a ton of typos in these #but i don't feel like editing lol #my fic #fic meme #queerlyalex #thank you!!#i loved this fic too

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misscrazyfangirl321 · 5 years

Text

@badthingshappenbingo prompt fill for anonymous, who requested Lucy/Wyatt "Panic Attack."

Fandom: Timeless

Trope: Panic Attack

Rating: T

Warnings: References to canonical past child abuse

Canon Divergence post 2x10.

He couldn't breathe.

Fluorescent lights hummed, seeming far too loud around him. Was this how Lucy felt when she got into the Lifeboat? How did she do it? The walls seemed to be closing in on him, suffocating him, trapping him in the tiny bunker washroom, with nothing but his own reflection for company.

(His reflection. Not his father's. Right? But the bunker always seemed so dark, the lights were flickering and weak, and in the shadows, he could almost see the man who broke him.)

He was fine. Not broken. Not damaged. He drove the truck into the lake, and he was fine.

“I'm fine,” he snapped, the words echoing in the nearly empty room. Taunting him. (Even his voice was the same, these days.) “I'm not him. Okay? I'm fine. I'm-” His words were lost in a growl as he struck, punching the wall in front of him, throwing every ounce of frustration into the action.

“Wyatt?” The door opened, just a crack, and Lucy's soft voice floated through. He didn't-couldn't-look.

“Yeah?” His hand throbbed, and he glanced down, wincing. His knuckles were cracked and bloody.

“Are you-” She hesitated. “Are you okay?” Unsure. Cautious. It wasn't right. That wasn't Lucy. She wasn't cautious or unsure of anything. (Until him. He messed that up, messed her up, just like he messed everything up. Jessica. Jiya. Rufus. What on earth was he going to do with a kid?)

“I'm-” Fine, he tried to say, but the word stuck in his throat. He ordered his brain to force it out, but it just wouldn't come. “I'm-”

Footsteps. She was coming toward him, slow but steady. “Wyatt?” He couldn't answer. Her hand rested on his arm, tentatively, and he absently noted that it was the first time she'd touched him since that horrifying day, when he'd been so angry and afraid that he'd caught her in a strike meant for Flynn. He could hardly stand to think of it. He could still see her, in his mind's eye, her hand flying to her mouth, tears springing up in her eyes.

A soft gasp distracted him from his thoughts, and he turned his attention back to Lucy. Her gaze was fixed on his hands, soft and horrified. “What happened?”

Suddenly ashamed, he pulled away. “It was nothing. I was just… Being stupid. It's stupid. Don't worry about it.” He needed to get out of there. Where he was going to go, he wasn't sure, because everywhere he turned, there were traces of Jessica, or darting glances from betrayed teammates, but he couldn't stay there anymore, couldn't stand her looking at him with such gentle concern. “I need to-”

“Wait.” Quiet, but firm. Unyielding. (Now, that sounded more like Lucy.) “Let me…” She maneuvered around him, as he stood frozen, unable to refuse her.

Within seconds, she had a warm, wet rag, and was reaching for his hands. For just a brief second, she hesitated, and he could practically feel the memories tugging at her, just as they tugged at him, but then she swallowed hard, and set to work. Slowly, with impossible care, she ran the rag over each knuckle, never applying too much pressure, just enough to rinse away the blood.

He couldn't find his voice, so he simply watched, mouth half-open, grasping for words that weren't there.

With the work of cleaning done, she moved on to a small bottle of ointment, dipping her fingers in, and applying it to the damaged skin. It was cold, and he couldn't help but flinch in surprise. “Sorry,” she murmured, finishing up the last knuckle.

His racing heart had calmed a little, and he took a breath, shaking his head. “‘s fine.” How did she do it? How could she calm him down when the entire world seemed to be spinning out of control? (And why would she, after the things he'd done?)

She didn't respond, but started rifling through the cabinets again, searching for something else.

Without quite meaning to, he spoke.

“I'm going to have a kid.”

She stilled for a brief moment, before continuing, responding in a deceptively light tone. “I know.”

Right. Of course she did. Of course she knew that he got his wife pregnant, while she was right down the hall. This whole bunker thing didn't really allow for healthy breakups, did it? “I don't-Lucy, you know what my dad was like. I can't just-” He groaned, shutting his eyes tightly. “I don't know how to be a dad.”

A soft pressure on his hand distracted him, and he opened his eyes to see her wrapping it in gauze. “You don't have to-” He started, but she shook her head warningly, and he didn't push. The last thing he wanted to do was tell her what to do-again-so he just went silent.

At length, she spoke. “I think you'll be a great dad.” Her voice was so quiet, he could barely hear her, but the words settled in his soul, nonetheless.

“I'm just… So scared I'm going to hurt them.” The images wouldn't leave his mind. Him getting a little too angry. Lashing out. His child-

“You won't,” she said firmly, tucking the gauze in place. Nodding in satisfaction at her work, she stepped back, looking him up and down. “You’re not your father, Wyatt. You don't have to be like him.”

He wanted to believe her, wanted it badly, but uncertainty clawed at him, and he reached out, grabbing the sink in front of him to steady himself. “How? How do I keep from becoming… That?” He shuddered a little at the thought.

There was an odd note to her voice when she answered. “You look at everything your father did that hurt you, and you make sure to never do that to anyone else. Especially your kid.” Her eyes were steely and determined, and he wasn’t quite sure she was talking about him. “You don't let him define you. And…” She faltered. “If you really want to know about being a father…” He realized where this was going a half-second before she said it. “Maybe you should talk to Flynn.”

“Absolutely not,” He answered automatically, and she scoffed.

“He's not so bad, you know? And he's been a lifesaver since he got out of prison. Literally.”

There was some truth to that, of course. Flynn had been more than picking up his slack during the entire Jessica debacle, and it hadn't escaped Wyatt's notice. Honestly, maybe that was the worst of it: The man who had hurt them all was now being weirdly reliable, and even trustworthy. Maybe he was waiting for the other shoe to drop.

But the thought of going to him, of asking him for parenting advice, of all things… It was humiliating. “Maybe,” he allowed, and she eyed him skeptically, but didn't push.

“Good.” She gave him a final once-over, as if looking for any other damage, before turning to go.

‘You look at everything your father did you hurt you, and you make sure to never do that to anyone else.’

What had his father done? He'd called him horrible things, locked him in the trunk of a car, beaten him within an inch of his life…. And never even apologized.

Suddenly determined, he cleared his throat. “Lucy?” She hesitated, and he took a breath. All this time, and he hadn't apologized since that first day, hadn't even been able to find the words for it. How do you apologize for breaking someone's heart when you were supposed to protect it? But he knew it was time. “I'm sorry.”

She started to shake her head, brushing him off, but he stood his ground. “I need to say this. Ever since Jessica came back, the only thing I've done is hurt you.” His gaze darted to a bruise near her lip. Probably from Emma, but it could have just as easily come from him. “Believe me, that's the last thing I ever wanted to do. So I'm going to try to do better. But if I do something stupid again…” Oh, he was gonna regret this. “Tell Flynn he can punch me.”

A startled laugh slipped from her lips. (And oh, that felt good. Being the one to make her laugh-really laugh-again? He loved it.) “Thank you, Wyatt. Really.” She hesitated. Smiled at him, small but sincere. “You're a good man.”

It was utterly untrue, and he knew it, but something in the conviction of her words made him want to believe it, nonetheless. He wanted to wrap himself up in them, to play them on repeat in his head until they drowned out his father's voice, angry and destructive.

Instead, he took a breath, and looked up at the mirror. His own reflection stared back, not a ghost of a man long gone, and he exhaled, a hint of a smile flickering across his face.

For the first time in ages, he was calm.

#lyatt #lucy preston #wyatt logan #timeless #badthingshappenbingo #my fics #my writing #my works #mine #guys i've had this mostly finished in my drafts since before my hiatus

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ladyroronoa · 6 years

Text

Is he gay? Or just a touchy, cute straight friend? I'm losing my mind

Sharing this cute story after taking permission from the OP. You guys are welcome to give him opinion.

You can find the original post here.

My Fav subreddit AskGayBros

I feel should start by saying I'm a closeted gay in high school. I've known this guy, who I'll call Dylan, for about two years now, and for the past year I've been thinking about him almost every day. However, I just have no idea how he feels about me. We hug and touch a lot, and I feel we look each other in the eyes longer than most guys would. But then he'll do things that just make me wonder if he's actually gay, or just really... touchy? I don't really know how to explain it. Let me just go into more detail.

When we first met, we were on the wrestling team. I was a sophomore and he was a freshman. I didn't talk to him much and I didn't think about him "like that" (Thinking back, I keep wondering how I didn't think he was cute at the time).

Then comes football season. We still don't really talk to each other much. It wasn't until the first game night that I started to have thoughts about him. Before walking down to the field before the game, everyone was told to pair up so that the team would walk toward the field in two lines side by side. After I failed to get a partner of my own (I'm a pretty quiet kid), Dylan comes up to me and offers to walk with me, which I (gladly) agreed to. While walking down towards the field, we're told to hold hands with the person next to us (I still don't get why we did this. I guess to show unity and teamwork?). So, Dylan, without hesitation, grabs my hand and our fingers interlock. I look up in to his eyes, and he's staring back at me. We just stared at each other for about 5 seconds, until some guy behind us told us to stop interlocking fingers because it was gay. That broke off the stare and we "corrected" our hands. After this, Dylan started to pop up in my mind more often than other guys. . Every game for the rest of the season, Dylan and I made a deal to always partner up when walking towards or leaving the game field. Whenever someone couldn't find a partner to walk with and tried asking me to walk, Dylan would always tell them to "back off my man". When someone tried taking him as a partner, I stepped in and took Dylan back. This prompted him to say "huh, I guess you actually do care about me". I probably should've said something, but I just laughed about it.

So this continues for the rest of the season, and eventually Dylan and me start talking more and hanging out outside of school with other friends. Wrestling season comes around again, but he didn't join the team that year. But in December, Dylan, me, and 4 other people decide to go paint balling. During the trip, I would catch him staring at me every now and then. After playing, we decided to get pizza. We sat at booths. Dylan sits down and I go to sit down next to him. I joked about how I got to sit next to my favorite person here, while going to lean on him, but Dylan laughed and said "I'm not gay man" while also moving away (kind of broke my heart). So there it is, he just told me he's not gay right? But there's more.

More stuff happens and it's like the end of January. Dylan and I still talk and see each other as we walk through the hall way and at the end of the day, but less because we only have football together (after all this time, I still don't even have his number). Dylan and one of our friends decided to sneak up on me and pretty much hug the crap out of me. It happened on random day, until it eventually started to happen every time we saw each other. For the first week since it started Dylan would only do it when the other friend did it with him, but even when that friend stopped, Dylan continued to do it. It also turned from "surprise hugs" to just hugs as we passed by each other in the hallway or at the end of the day. We even started running up to each other just to hug for a couple of seconds.

And the whole "staring into each other eyes for longer than normal" thing also started again. There are a couple moments in particular that stand out to me. After a hug in the hallway and a short talk, we both started to walk away, but I looked back over my shoulder and saw him looking right back at me, and he shouted "see you after school!" And we held the gaze for a while until I turned the corner to keep walking. Another time, the very last day of school, we were sitting next to each other in gym and we were talking about scheduling or something for next year. The conversation went quiet for a bit, but I turned my head to look at him, and he looked right back at me. This felt different to all the other times he looked at me. A wave of happiness surged throughout my body as we just sat and smiled at each other for what felt like an eternity. The bell eventually rang and we went our separate ways.

Summer starts again and all the football players are weightlifting in the school. Our coaches make us do these neck exercises that require a partner. Dylan and I instantly partner up for these, and instead of doing the exercise, we mostly just fool around (tickling each other, shoving, more stares, etc.). He kept making jokes about wanting to wrestle me again. At one point we start doing running drills outside in the heat, so some people started going shirtless. Some friends, and Dylan, kept trying to get me to go shirtless with them (Dylan never went shirtless). I eventually did, and Dylan stared for a good while at my body, before rolling up his sleeves and asking if I thought he was hot, which I flat out told him "Yea you are".

So I just realized how much I wrote, so I'm just going to bullet point other reasons as to why I think he's gay.

I've never heard him mention anything about liking girls at all. Only once (like a week ago), as a cheerleader was walking by he said "I think I could mac it to her".

We still hug, touch (grabbing my arms, arm around shoulder, etc.), and stare everyday.

We joke about loving each other and he makes jokes about me taking him to prom. (One friend said we looked like butt buddies).

Last year, during cold football games (like 75% of the games), we would huddle together just to keep warm (Pretty much us hugging each other while shivering in the cold).

He's been starting to get more "cuddly". Ex: For one football game this year we sat next to each other on the bus. He leaned his head on my shoulder and I put my head on his. We stayed like this for a while before he got up. Then he did it again a couple minutes later, this time I hugged him and rubbed his stomach, and he let me. Ex (2): Couple days later we we're sitting in an auditorium next to each other. He put his arm around my shoulder and I rested my head on his shoulder. That stopped until he put his head on my shoulder, my head on his. (Like straight friends don't do this right?)

Still jokes about wanting to wrestle me.

This year the football team doesn't hold hands while walking towards the game anymore. Like a week ago, before walking down to the game, he brought up how he remembers, and misses, holding my hand while walking. He even grabbed my hand again with fingers interlocked, but we didn't walk the whole way like that.

I really do like him, and thinking about him makes me excited just to go to school and football practice. When he's not there, I get this bad weird feeling in my body and my whole mood feels off. Honestly, if he wasn't on the football team I would have probably quit already, and I'm already thinking about leaving the wrestling team because he said he doesn't want to wrestle this year either (which is why him joking about wrestling me gets me thinking about stuff...).

So here I am now, writing about all the reasons why I think he's gay. I want to believe he's gay, but I just keep thinking about me being wrong. I want to ask him but I just don't know how to go about it because we are never really alone together. I don't even know his phone number or how I would get that. What do you guys think? Is he gay or not? and if he is, how do I go about going further with him?

Sorry for the long post, I've never really written one of these before. I haven't even really started going on reddit until a couple days ago, but the community seems awesome.

#reddit #fujoshi #gaystory #HelpgayBro #AKB #AskGayBros

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angstmaster69 · 7 years

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Hey blue! I saw that you deleted your youtube AU and i was just wondering why? I hate to sound all mother-y and patronising, but are you okay? Or did you just not want to write it any more? I hope i'm not stepping out of place to saying this but I really liked the story and where it was heading so I'm sad to see that it's gone and won't be updated :( but I hope you're okay! :)

Hey I just sent the ask a second ago, about hoping you're okay and about youtuber AU being deleted, and I just wanted to know if maybe you could tell us what was supposed to happen in the plot? I know I'm not the only curious one lol, and I was just wondering :) I hope you have a good day!

i actually JUST answered why i deleted/stopped writing yt au in another ask! as for the other points, i’ll answer under the cut because this is probably going to get pretty long!

first of all, please don’t worry about me, i’m fine! i’m just going through pretty nasty writer’s block right now, but i’ll be okay! i’m trying to just write through it, even if everything turns out super shitty, but yeah. it’ll pass. and if it doesn’t, then i’ll still continue to write, it just won’t be at my usual standard of writing, so i’m sorry for that.

secondly, i’m honestly really sorry that you were enjoying the fic and i just.. took that away from you, kind of unfairly. i just wanted to be rid of it, honestly. i’ve deleted a lot of docs from my computer regarding it too, so now it’s just, like, gone, thank god. but, yeah. hopefully i can just tell you the plot now and get it over and done with, and maybe that’ll help with closure i guess?? i know it’s really not a big deal that i deleted it, but it kind of is to me. i feel like i failed in some way. anyway.

i feel like before we get into the plot some details should be revised? it was always going to be endgame taekook. that much is for sure. they’re fwb. obviously there’s the queerplatonic vmin (which i REALLY wanted to explore the dynamics of because romantic friendships are Lit™ and i lovelovelove vmin with all my heart) and i mean, jeon and jimin are like, at odds with each other for Reasons, and yeah, taehyung is one of them, but also they just kind of clash in an ugly way and it’s tense and taehyung is like, the only reason they haven’t fought properly. i mean, they were gonna have a fight in the fic in the first draft, but then i edited it out and made them sit down and talk Like Adults and work through their issues, because i’m kind like that. there’s namjin being all gross and couple-y and in love in the bg, and then there’s weird yoonseokmin vibes, and it was kind of A Mess, and taehyung Does Not Do Relationships And Fucks Around A Lot Instead and he’s like, in denial about a lot of things. they’re all youtubers. yoongi is ace, taehyung has a very weird complex with his ability to form romantically involved relationships due to both family and personal past experiences. jeongguk is in love with taehyung but it’s beginning to take its toll on him. and NOW we can start.

so like, in the chapters that i posted, taehyung has a livestream for his 10 million subscriber party. he and jeongguk end up kind of getting caught making out but also kind of don’t, then they sleep together and spend the day together and just pray it blows over. there was a bottom taehyung riding scene, then jimin and taehyung flew out to seoul from la. jimin gets mad at taehyung because he sees him bitching out at jeongguk over text and he brings up ‘taekook’ (i’m SHAMELESS) with the fan they talk to on the plane, and it pisses him off, one, because he kind of despises jeongguk, and two, because taehyung is being kinda rude and jimin’s tired and it’s not his fault he likes filming everything. so yeah, they’re in seoul and taehyung meets up with some friends, one of whom is jeongguk’s Big Ex that taehyung didn’t know about, and it freaks him out when he finds out because he gets jealous and this is where things start Going Bad.

basically, he gets home and kind of breaks up with jimin, then medicates with drugs and sex and alcohol, then jeongguk and jimin have their aforementioned talk and help each other to help taehyung. jimin sorts his yoongi-and-hoseok thing out, and makes up with taehyung. jeongguk kind of moves in with taehyung, just to check he’s doing okay, and taehyung starts doing better. he makes videos again, even though it’s not the same, and he travels more often to see friends and family and the world, and sometimes jeongguk joins him. they have a lot of sex, sure, but they also talk to each other seriously a lot more, and taehyung tries to communicate properly. he lets himself fall in love with jeongguk, and they’re like kind of official without actually explicitly saying they are, then they’re caught kissing in public and all hell breaks loose. taehyung fucks up and says a lot of hurtful things to cover his ass, and jeongguk is just Done with waiting for taehyung to admit his feelings. so - and this is like, the Big Moment that the au builds up to - taehyung makes a video. he starts off slow and small, just talks about his life and where he’s at and the affect youtube has on it. then he starts spilling all kinds of things his viewers have been questioning for years - things about him and jimin, things about him and other youtubers he’s been rumoured to date. things about him and jeongguk. and at first jeongguk doesn’t watch it, but namjoon convinces him to, and so he sits down in front of his computer and watches the video. it’s forty minutes long.

taehyung. spills. everything. a full exposé of himself. he talks about about his sexuality, and his internal struggle with his aromanticism and difficulty bonding. he talks about everything, from the moment he and jimin decided to enter a queerplatonic relationship, to the moment he realised he’d fallen in love with jeongguk. he talks about how he’s been sleeping with both of them this whole time, and other people, too. how he faked being friends with some other youtubers, just because that’s what everybody did. how much he genuinely loves his real friends. how jealous he felt when he met jeongguk’s ex. how guilty he felt when he broke it off with jimin. other things, too, and jeongguk has to pause it halfway through because he’s sat there, cold, in the dark, balled up on his massive desk chair, crying. there’s no way taehyung can go back from this. his viewers will love it and eat everything up, and of course, taehyung could totally monopolise on the attention and popularity, but jeongguk hears the ‘goodbye’ and the channel deactivation before he gets to the announcement of it at the end of the video. because yes, okay, taehyung could come back from this, but there is no way that taehyung would ever want to.

so taehyung leaves youtube. the others still carry on, and they’re all still successful, of course, especially jimin. he sort of takes over taehyung’s space online, even though he had no intentions to. jeongguk and taehyung talk things over. they agree it’s not time for them just yet, but they’ll wait for each other. so taehyung uses his name to get a job as a cinematographer for an up-and-coming indie studio in hollywood, and he lives comfortably and modestly with his friends by his side. he doesn’t just completely disappear online, and he still pops up in his friends’ vlogs and videos sometimes, but he’s nowhere near as active or as influential as he was before, and he loves it. it brings him peace, and space to think and feel and be, and soon enough, he’s ready to welcome jeongguk and his love into his life.

he’s happy. they’re all happy.

i’m almost hesitant to post this, because it’s still fluid and ever-changing in my head, so please note that this is the plot as it stands, and that parts of this will probably be improved or changed in my head over time, but that i’ll probably never discuss this again unless prompted to. on that note, if anybody has any questions about this au, please feel free to ask me! as long as it’s not about if or when i’m going to reupload or update or whatever.

again, i’m fine, thank you for thinking about me, and i’m super sorry for deleting so abruptly but please try to understand where i’m coming from with this when i say that i just couldn’t do it anymore. i’m sorry, and i hope you have a good day too! thanks for checking in :)

#jesus christ #headcanons #asatmr #as steady as the moon rises #taekook #vmin #namjin #yoonseokmin #fic stuff #anon #answered #anyway i wanna d*e

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