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#but yes anyway. nightmare marriage enthusiast
old-knightsvow · 2 years
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"im guilty of liking tg married w dogs" why did i even feel the need to specify that. i spend half of my time here talking about rosie wambsgans-hirsch
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Today (12/16/23) is the 10th anniversary of one of my favorite comedy specials—
what.
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Yes, it's been a whole decade since Bo Burnham graced the world with his YouTube special (and now major comics are following his model lol). While people think of what. as a Netflix special, Bo's plan was to distribute it freely via the internet on 12/17/13 (and he took a pay cut to make it happen!).
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Here are some other fun facts about Bo's second comedy special:
1. The trailer is filmed in the Ruhm, Bo's guesthouse and studio that makes an appearance again in Make Happy and in a little special called INSIDE 😉
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2. This comedy special was Bo's first professional collaboration with Chris Storer (creator of The Bear) after they met on Adventures in the Sin Bin and it marks Bo's first time directing. They would go on to co-direct Make Happy together and Bo's obviously directed MANY items since, including his incredible story about a teenage girl called Eighth Grade!
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3. Bo begins the special wearing three pairs of pants—two red ones and one black pair—a white tee, a dark gray hoodie, confetti in one pocket, a pack of playing cards in his OTHER pocket, and his mouth is full of water. Damn, that's a lot of stuff! 🤯
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4. But he doesn't have the water IN his mouth for the stool scene! That was spliced together with the live performance footage (and pretty seamlessly, clearly, since folks asked him about it online).
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5. The song Repeat Stuff has a brilliant music video that accompanies it. And the girl that Bo murders at the end is none other than the Vice President's stepdaughter! That's right, Ella Emhoff is Kamala Harris's daughter through marriage, and she is a famous model and artist.
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6. Speaking of that music video, the exterior of the house Bo breaks into at the beginning is Bo and Lorene's own home at the time. And that house was used in The Nightmare Before Elm Street franchise (a fact the realtors emphasized when selling the place in 2021—I would have focused on Bo's studio personally haha).
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7. The music video also has a cameo from one of Bo's friends, Paul Scheer, as the manager! I actually met Paul at a Human Giant event back in the day, and he was very nice (along with Aziz Ansari and Rob Huebel).
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8. While Bo released his special entirely for free, he did have two other items that were for sale at the time—the what. CD (recorded in Madison, WI, thus he says "Get on my level, Madison" in Sad) and his book of poems Egghead. I own the poetry book, obviously, but I cannot find the CD for sale anywhere.
If you or someone you know is willing to sell their copy, PLEASE DM me! It's the only item he put out that I don't own in some capacity—and I would love to complete the collection! 🥰
9. Egghead is amazing in both its print and audiobook versions. In fact, the latter is like a whole separate comedy special and well worth the price to hear Bo reading so enthusiastically and with different hilarious voices. Highly recommended...and I have a kid-friendly list of poems here if you're interested.
10. Finally, what. features two of my favorite subversive bits: Andy the Frog and the Fishing song.
I was thinking a fun video idea would be to create a Bo Burnham "Kids Show" with all of his darkest routines that seem like they came out of a demented Sesame Street (so like Wonder Showzen haha).
Here's the potential order:
-Disney Lessons (Words Words Words)
-what. Intro (starting with "melted into childlike wonder" to Lizard)
-How to Make the Perfect PB Sandwich
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-A Slow Joke
-Andy the Frog
-The Squares poem
-Fishing in the Park
-How the World Works (can include Outtakes Bo and Socko as well)
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-YouTuber Thank You
Anyway, I just think that would be hysterical if any editor wants to take a crack at it. Please give me credit tho! ✌🏼🐔
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mariamermaid · 3 years
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Spontaneous
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Fred Weasley x fem Reader
Summary: Fred and you loved to be spontaneous. Ever since your time in Hogwarts, there wasn´t a day filled with tediousness. But when Fred suddenly decides that it´s time to get married, things go wild…
Words: 2k
 You didn´t hear the door close behind Fred. Instead you sat in the bathtub, filled with bubbles and candles spread around the rim of the tub. Music from the record player filled the apartment with soft tunes. It was natural that you flinched when the door suddenly opened and a gasp escaped your lips.
“God, Fred, what are you doing here? I thought you´d be at work all day!” You exclaimed after your initial surprise. You weren´t wrong, he usually was at work and when he came back from the shop he shared with George, he was usually very tired. Tired but happy. A flicker of a smile when he saw what you had cooked for him, but today? Today was different.
It wasn´t even 11 a.m., you had a free day, and there he stood; in the middle of the rather small bathroom with a grin from ear to ear. His eyes glowing in excitement.
“What?” You asked confused and leaned to the brim of the tub, but all he did was stare at you. He soaked in the view of you, covered in foam and your hair messily put up.
As quick as he had entered the room, he suddenly kneeled down to you, both of his hand grabbing the tub. It was the same look he had when coming up with new ideas.
“Do you want to marry me?”
His face was only inches away and a tint of blush crept on his cheeks. Completely taken back, you couldn´t help but simply stare.
“What?”
His hands grabbed yours, not caring about the water dripping over. “Do you want to marry me?”
He paused for a second. “Because I realized that I can´t imagine not marrying you! You know, I was at the store with George and it was like any other day and yet it wasn´t! I just knew, so I rushed back to you!” He started rambling until you interrupted with laughter.
He had joked about it since you started dating back in your days in Hogwarts. He would marry you one day, but Fred joked a lot if the day was long. On the other hand, you neither questioned marrying him.
“Yes, you idiot! Of course, I´ll marry you!” You finally exclaimed and he pressed his lips firmly on yours. Softly, he started pulling you up and lifting you out of the tub.
“Fred, you´re making a mess! The water…” You giggled in between kisses but he shook his head.
“No time, love. I already called the register office, there´s an open slot at 3 o´clock!”
“Wait what?!”
“I told you I want to marry you, why wait?” He sat you down on your feet again and wrapped a towel around your dripping body, so you wouldn´t get cold. “Fred, I… You…” There was no physical way you would bring out anything but stammering. Instead, you were just shaking your head. Smiling.
“You´re unbelievable.” “But it´s a reason why you love me, right?”
“Yes, I love you more than anything.” You pressed another kiss on his lips, short but passionate.
“No, excuse me, I have to get ready for my wedding day!”
  George wasn´t as enthusiastic about randomly closing the shop without an explanation, but Fred begged long enough, telling him to meet him in London. Before George could object, Fred ended the call. “You didn´t even tell him!” You shouted from your shared bedroom and Fred´s head popped in; eyebrows raised. “Yeah, but he´ll find out soon enough.”
“Then call your sister, we need a second witness to a marriage. And Ginny just told me yesterday that she´d be in the city anyways!”
“Should I tell her why we need her so urgent?”
“Nope, she´ll figure it out later”, you grinned and your fiancé nodded agreeing.
“What about your parents, love?”
“They´re visiting Charlie.”
“But telling them? In any way?” You wondered and Fred came back to sit on the bed. “Well, sure mum´s gonna be a little angry, but we can have a bigger feast when we´re all in town! Ron is with Hermione in Austria, Bill and Fleur have been dealing with the house. Maybe we set a date or something, but the free appointment is only today, anyways we have to wait at least six months!” You sighed while fixing your hair.
“Molly is gonna rip off your head.” “Why only mine?”
“Darling, she won´t rip off her new daughter-in-law´s head.”
 “Come one, hurry, we have only an hour left!” Fred, who was tall and usually bragged about his long legs, was a few feet behind you. “Do you think we even find a dress?” He asked.
“I don´t want anything special, after all this is just the official marriage service, not the actual ceremony with friends and family. But maybe something to look at least a little put together? You´re wearing a shirt and a tie as well!”
“Love, you always look put together and astonishing pretty.” Laughing, you jokingly hit his shoulder. “If you don´t stop flirting, I might have to put a ring on you!”
Fred opened the door of the shop for you and while you entered, your mouth fell open and you admired the view of dresses. A saleslady quickly approached the two of you, who were clearly overwhelmed. “Can I help you with anything?”
“I´m looking for a formal dress for the register office”, you explained and she nodded smiling. “So, when is the date, if I may ask?” “In about an hour”, Fred shrugged reluctant and watched grinningly how the face of the saleslady dropped. He enjoyed this a little too much.
“Oh dear, then we better begin…”
The first dress was a nightmare, the cut made you look uncomfortable and the material was itchy. While you waited in the fitting room, the saleswoman searched for a new dress. Fred casually joined her. “Ehm, I actually have to pick something up, a surprise for her”, he cleared his throat and she nodded understanding. “I think I can handle it, any last preferences maybe?”
“Actually, I saw this red dress in the front room?” The saleslady nodded in excitement and Fred thanked her before leaving the shop. The dress was the perfect Gryffindor red, it immediately reminded of your school times. You wore a similar one to the ball with Fred. But this one was made of a sleek satin material, the cut dropped off shoulder and it was tighter, hugging your body in the right places without being uncomfortable. You starred at yourself in the mirror.
“It´s perfect! Where´s Fred, I need to show him?” The saleswoman smirked knowingly.
“Your fiancé had to do some last-minute preparation, he told me that he would meet you at the register office”, she stated how Fred had previously explained. You furrowed your brows, but then you nodded as well. He was going to love you in the dress.
 You saw the two red-heads, George and Ginny waiting across the street. You had thrown over your normal black coat, the dark heels and beneath the dress, nice and hidden. At least for now. George had his arms crossed in front of his chest, his face a little bitter and not very amused. Ginny spotted you firstly and embraced you. She seemed confused as well.
“Y/n, what is going on? Fred sounded so urgent on the phone?” Her brother nodded agreeing. “What is so important that we had to close the shop?” Before you could speak up, Fred suddenly popped up and joined your group, pressing a quick kiss on top of your head.
“Everything´s ready”, he nodded towards you. “Ready for what?” George continued bickering.
“Y/n and I are getting married.”
While Ginny let out a small scream of surprise, hugging you tightly the next second, George patted his brother on the shoulder. “You two were always spontaneous, I shouldn´t be surprised.”
There was no time for congratulations, the four of you hurried inside the large building and after asking for the directions and a waiting time of almost five minutes, you entered the office of Mrs. Carter. You took off your coat, both Fred and Ginny let out a small gasp. “You´re looking stunning”, Fred whispered and placed another kiss on your cheek. Mrs. Carter, who watched the two of you closely, nodded politely while shaking your hand and showing your seats.
“So, you´re Mr. Weasley, Fred right?” She asked while organizing a few papers. Fred nodded. “And you´re the lucky girl, who he surprised?” “Yes, very much.”
“I see you brought your witnesses”, she stopped a little confused when looking up and finding George, right next to Ginny. “Yeah, I´m Fred´s twin brother, and this is our sister Ginny.” The four of you grinned widely. “Big family I see”, Mrs. Carter smiled warmly.
“Then let´s get started, shall we? I need you to sign the papers here, they declare that you´re both here willingly today.” The two of you took the pen and signed ahead.
“Y/n, are you taking on Fred´s last name?” You stopped in your tracks, looking unsure back and forth between Mrs. Carter and Fred. “Y/N Weasley has a good ring to it, I have to admit”, Fred shrugged innocently. It wasn´t something you actually had discussed, but it felt right. So, you went with it.
“Yes, Y/n Weasley it is.” Mrs. Carter handed you the papers for the name change.
“Do you forge the marriage with rings or without?”
“Without”, you spoke up without even thinking, but Fred grabbed your hand, holding you back. “Actually”, he paused while taking out a small velvet box. Amazed you starred at him. “I do have rings.”
“Fred, you didn´t have to”, you trailed off softly, but he shook his head serious. “Just because we´re doing this so spontaneous, doesn´t mean we´re not doing it right.”
You melted at his words and it felt like falling in love with him all over again. It was you and him, sneaking out of the common room or skipping class to make out behind corners. The kisses after won Quidditch games. Running away hand in hand after those many pranks. Quiet nights on the couch, watching the fire and snow falling outside. Walking down hand in hand to the ball. Drunken nights filled with deep conversations on the astronomy tower. Christmas mornings with the entire family and baking cookies together. Falling into each other arms after the battle, knowing that you both survived.
All those moments leading up to the present, it was destiny.
“You´re amazing”, you breathed and kissed Fred softly. He put on the ring on your finger, you did the same with his. Mrs. Carter was beaming and Ginny took a handkerchief, wiping away a few tears. It was a beautiful scene. “Last papers to sign now, then your wife and husband!”
 Two weeks later you found yourself at the burrow, both Molly and Arthur, Bill and Fleur and Ron and Hermione had come home within the past few days. A reunion was long after-due. And Ginny continued to claim that she would explode, if you didn´t tell soon. You were all seated around the long table in the dining area, chatting about the vacation and other miscellaneous things. Molly had baked pie and you had brought some chocolate mousse as well. Arthur, who sat at the end of the table, Fred and you next to him, then George and Ron, rose from his chair. It was late in the afternoon and most of you enjoyed a cup of tea or coffee, there was no intention of champagne, at least not yet. Molly joined her husband. As always, they smiled happily seeing all their children and family together.
“You know, even though it´s nothing too special, it´s always nice to see the family back together!” He exclaimed and, in the mean-time, you and Fred exchanged knowing looks. Fred rose from his chair, patting his father on the shoulder.
“Actually, dad, there are some news”, he paused, waiting for you to join his side.
“I would like for everyone to meet my official wife, Y/n. We got married two weeks ago!”
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alarawriting · 3 years
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52 Project #37: A Very April Christmas
Part of this originally appeared as Inktober 2019 #17: Ornament.
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“Where is my fucking box of Christmas ornaments?”
April was busily tossing everything Catrina owned down the stairs from the attic garret where she lived. “April! What the fuck! That’s my stuff!” Catrina yelled.
“Yeah, your stuff that you couldn’t bother to keep neatly like I told you to, and this is seriously a health code hazard,” April said. “But more importantly, you’re living in the room I put my Christmas ornaments in, last January, and I need to find them.”
“You keep tossing my stuff around like that and I’ll kill you, mraow!”
“It’s my house, bitch, and you don’t pay anywhere near a fair rate for the rent.” April moved on to the back of the attic, where no one lived. “Ugh, this place is a nightmare.”
Catrina came up into the attic. “Well, whose fault is that, meow? All that’s your mess.”
Behind her, Kelly stuck her oversized head up. “I think Marie Kondo needs to come to this house,” she said in a strong Japanese accent. “April-san, I can’t imagine that any of that stuff back there sparks joy.”
“Hey! What are you doing in my room? Sssss!” Catrina postured at Kerry Kitty with her claws out. “No other cats allowed, this is my territory!”
“Oh, then you don’t want me to bring up the things April dropped,” Kelly said. “Okay.” Her large paws opened and dropped the pile of clothing she’d been carrying.
“Wait, no!”
“Oh, so you do want me to help you bring up the clothes,” Kerry said. “Please make up your mind.” In her accent, “clothes” sounded a bit less like garments and a bit more like taco-craving corvids.
“AHA!” April brandished the box of ornaments. “Found you, you little motherfuckers!”
“April-san, your language. Emily might hear you!”
“Emily is probably eating the Christmas tree,” April shot back. “Make way, coming through, lady with large box here!”
Kelly jumped off the attic stairs with as much grace as a 5-foot tall bipedal cat with a giant head could achieve. Catrina dodged and rolled onto her own bed, or what was left of it after April had dragged it around looking for the ornament box. April, six foot two and model-slim with a frankly impossible body, toted the large box over to the attic stairs, balancing it on her shoulders, and then tossed it down, following that with a graceful jump to the floor herself. “Everybody gather round!” she shouted in her most saccharine voice. “It’s time for Christmas decorating!”
“Doktor Zapp isn’t here,” Lovey said in her sad, slow voice. “Don’t you think we should ask him to come upstairs?”
“Pfft, no. That nerd never wants to come upstairs. Besides, what do you care? He’s scared of dogs.”
“I’m not a big dog,” Lovey said, despite the fact that she was almost as tall as April herself. “Anyway, he’s only scared of bad dogs. I’m a good dog.”
“Goo dug,” Emily Egg agreed, thick baby fingers twined in the puppy’s fur. “Wuvvy goo dug.”
“Yes, I’m sure you said something, but no one cares what,” April said. “Sheonte! Cherry! We’re doing Christmas decorations!”
“We don’t celebrate Christmas in Ponyland, and I really don’t appreciate you trying to push your human customs on me,” Cherry yelled back.
“Fuck, no, you’re a children’s cartoon. What do they do for your holiday specials? I know you’ve got something that looks just like Christmas. Get your horse’s ass out here so I don’t need to keep yelling.”
Sullenly Cherry Blossom plodded out of her room. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“On Best Pony Friends. You’ve got to have some kind of Christmas-like holiday for the holiday specials.”
“We have the Festival of Friendship… I guess it’s kind of like Christmas. We give our friends gifts, and hang up ornaments, and make snowponies, and sing carols—”
“So what you’re saying is, it’s exactly like Christmas.”
“Minus the overcommercialization and people trampling each other to get the last copy of a cheap mass-manufactured toy, yeah, I guess.”
Kerry volunteered, “I used to be on the air right before Best Pony Friends. Their Christmas is very nice-looking.”
“It’s the Festival of Friendship! Not Christmas!”
“You just keep telling yourself that,” April said. “SHE-ON-TE! We are all waiting on you!”
“A Diva is never rushed,” Sheonte yelled from her bedroom. “Beauty and style like this takes effort.”
“Come on, bitch, they threw you out of the Divazz because you tried to kill Vivi and your ex.”
“They were fucking! In my bedroom! You’d have tried to kill them too.”
“I don’t think the language in this house is a very good example for Emily,” Lovey complained.
“I wouldn’t have tried to kill them too because that would never happen to me because Chad is a real gentleman who would never cheat on me,” April said.
“Yeah, too bad you such a ho you gotta cheat on him.” Sheonte finally made her appearance, strutting into the room like she owned it. Her Afro was lightly sprinkled with pale glitter on the edges to create an effect much like she’d just been walking in light snow, and she was dressed stylishly with 14-inch stiletto heels, a green velvet miniskirt, a white blouse that did not cover her multiply-pierced belly button, and a shimmering silver jacket. And many belts around her body that didn’t seem to actually do anything. And by “stylishly”, April meant “like a cheap whore.”
“Look, it’s not my fault that Chad is such a gentleman that he’s waiting until we get married. Saving yourself for marriage is a beautiful thing in a man, and I really appreciate his sacrifice! But I gotta get my pussy pounded by someone, and Mr. Vibrator can’t always do the job, you know?”
Lovey was covering Emily’s ears with her paws. “April! You can’t say things like that in front of Emily!”
“Oh, like she understands.” April walked up to Emily, smiling. The baby, who would be only slightly shorter than April if she could actually stand up, beamed up at her from her position on the floor. “Who’s such a stupid baby?” April said in the same cheerful tone that one would say “Who’s such a good dog?” to one’s good dog. “Yes, you are! You are a stupid little baby!” Emily laughed and clapped.
“Can we get this over with?” Catrina asked. “April fucked up my entire room and I’m gonna have to spend the rest of the day fixing it, mraow.”
“Yes, we can get it going now, since I’m here,” Sheonte said. “April, where are the ornaments?”
“Right here,” April said, and opened the box with a flourish…
…to an assortment of brightly colored bits of shattered glass.
“Oh, shit,” April said.
“I think maybe you should not have thrown them down the stairs,” Kelly said.
“Bitch, you tear my room apart for this?” Catrina snarled. “These weren’t shit to begin with, meow, and then you went and shattered them to pieces on top of that?”
“Yeah, these ornaments were shit before you broke them,” Sheonte said. “What’d you do, get a truckload of shiny glass balls at Target?”
Emily began to cry. “Owwmens!” she wailed, which probably meant “ornaments” but sounded entirely too much like “omens”.
“We knew how to do a Christmas with the Weargirls,” Catrina said. “We used to go over Batrice’s mansion and decorate with lights and a ton of different ornaments, meow. Gorgeous stuff.”
“Yeah, well, feel free to go live with Batrice. Door’s that way,” April said.
Catrina made a face. “They’re vampires. They don’t have any windows, sss.”
“This is very sad,” Lovey said, her permanent sad-hound-dog face emphasizing the sadness. “I’m very sad.”
“Owwmens!”
“AwOOOO!”
“Oh, for the love of Christ shut it, both of you. I know what to do.” April closed the box of ornaments. “To the Glitter Van! We’re gonna go to the Christmas store and buy ornaments!”
“Kissmas tor?” Emily asked, cheering up right away.
“Oh! I love Christmas store! Let me get Christmas kimono on before we go!” Kerry said, and ran off before April could stop her.
“I’m not dressed for going out,” Catrina complained. “I need to try to find something I can wear, meow, since you trashed my room!”
“Yeah, this is not a Christmas store look,” Sheonte said. “I’m gonna change into something better for going out.”
“This is California, it’s not like it’s cold,” April said.
“I didn’t say better clothes for cold weather, I said better clothes for going out. This shit’s okay for just hanging with you bitches, but if I’m gonna get Seen, I need to look my best.” She strutted back to her room.
“I don’t wear clothes,” Cherry Blossom said.
“Yeah, good for you.”
“But your mane looks like a stinking pile of dog doo. You need to go get brushed and get dressed yourself before you go out looking like that.”
“I didn’t ask your opinion, you nag.”
“That is a misogynist and ageist slur among my people and I’m going to post about your insensitivity on social media if you don’t apologize right now.”
“Apologize to this,” April said, giving Cherry the middle finger.
She sat down on her couch, defeated, as Cherry trotted away. “This is totally fucked up.”
“Don’t worry,” Lovey said, snuggling against April, trying to cheer her up by being a dog. “I’m sure you’ll be able to fix everything as soon as everyone gets ready and we can go to the ornament store.”
Lovey had been in this house long enough to know that “everyone gets ready” could take upward of 3 hours, and besides, April didn’t like dogs. She pushed Lovey away. “Easy for you to say.”
The door to the basement opened, and Doktor Zapp, dressed in his characteristic lab coat, goggles, and blue shirt that he apparently never took off, stuck his tiny head out. “What’d I miss?”
***
If it had been April’s decision, Lovey and Emily – especially Emily – would not be coming with them, but Emily was the one most enthusiastic about going to “Kissmas tor”, so obviously she couldn’t be prevented from coming along, even though she was a baby nearly April’s size, bigger than Cherry Blossom and Doktor Zapp. Ugh. As long as Kelly or Lovey watched her and April didn’t have to do it. She had her hands full with her sisters. They didn’t live with her, but they leaned on her hard enough it was practically like she was being their mom.
Cherry Blossom had a bag of apples she was snacking on. Loudly. She was sitting in the back of the Glitter Van, because she couldn’t sit in a seat for humanoids, so she, Lovey, and Emily were all in the back – Emily could in theory sit in a seat, but a baby seat large enough for her couldn’t. It was amazing how loud the sound of a pony chewing an apple could get all the way to the driver’s seat.
April honked her horn. “Jesus! Get a move on, people!”
From her vantage point in the front of the Glitter Van, she could see an endless line of tiny cars in front of her. Very tiny cars, about a fifth the size of her van. Traffic was always like this. Sometimes there was one of the buses or cars the BittyFolx drove around in, and sometimes some superhero’s tricked-out car, but generally speaking it was always the little cars causing the traffic jams.
Sheonte, in the front seat next to April, commiserated. “Fuckin’ wonderful, right? No matter what time of day you try going anywhere, there’s all these tiny-ass cars on the road.”
“I should just run them the fuck over,” April said.
“Yeah!” Catrina cheered from the seat directly behind April.
“No!” Kerry, from the seat next to Catrina, and Lovey, in the back, yelled. Well, in Lovey’s case, howled.
“That’s a great idea if you want the cops up your ass,” Sheonte said sarcastically. “Now I know white girls with money get away with a ton of shit, but even your lily white tushie ain’t gonna be able to walk away from running down a dozen little Wheels o’Fire cars.”
“Fuck this,” Cherry announced from the back. “I’m getting out and I’m walking.”
“That’s nice for you, you’re a fucking horse,” April snapped. “Maybe you can kick some of those goddamn Wheels o’Fire cars out of the way so we can get somewhere on this highway?”
“Oh, for God’s sake!” Doktor Zapp, sitting on the back row seat, shouted, with the German accent that came and went in his voice stronger than usual. “I have an invention that can make the car fly, will that do?”
“Well, why the fuck didn’t you say something earlier?”
***
The Christmas store was a roughly semi-hexagonal structure, if the bee creating the hexagon was drunk. Two different storefronts came together as one of the corners – a Playstuf grocery store, from the same line as Doktor Zapp, and a Pam in the Pocket clothing storefront. These were barely taller than April herself. The third side that made up half the hexagon was a large cardboard storefront, taller and deeper than the other two, with a smiley face on the visible outside of it.
The second half of the hexagon, such as it was, consisted of what had once been neatly laid out aisles of baskets containing Christmas decorations, except that the aisles had ended up scattered around by the actions of customers and employees, and probably the will of God. It was now less of a hexagon and more of a shapeless blob.
On the right of the Christmas store, outside the blob of the store’s merchandise layout, there was a Christmas tree. It, like the Playstuf and Pam in the Pocket storefronts, was only a bit taller than April herself. And underneath that Christmas tree, there were shiny boxes wrapped in reflective wrapping paper. These were very large for presents, about half as tall as Doktor Zapp.
A nutcracker soldier stood in front of the store, his jaw moving somewhat unnaturally. “Welcome to the Christmas Store! Welcome one, welcome all!”
Emily, crawling out of the van, saw the fake presents and immediately beelined for them, crawling eagerly. “Pwezens!”
“Oh, shit,” April said, as Emily, who was significantly larger than most of the people here, knocked over several of the baskets of merchandise, and at least one Puppy Pal carrying merchandise in her mouth, who barked at Emily in irritation. “Emily, what the shit? Get back here!”
“Pwezens!”
April sighed deeply, and then began walking away from the scene, toward the middle of the store, pretending she didn’t actually know Emily. Sheonte, Kelly, Catrina and Doktor Zapp were heading toward the ornaments, and Cherry Blossom had stopped to chat up a horse who was standing by the side of the store, waiting for its rider.
Emily grabbed the first of the presents and tore the wrapping paper up. “Emily, you shouldn’t do that!” Lovey said, ineffectually, and then started howling. “APRIL OR SOMEBODY, AWOOO! LOOK AT EMILY, ROOO!”
“Jesus Christ,” April muttered, “I can’t take that kid anywhere.” She stomped over to Emily, whose lip was wobbling in disappointment that the first box she’d ripped open was empty. “Emily Egg, get your baby ass out of those fake presents right now!”
Emily began to wail, sitting in her pile of wrapping paper and torn-up empty box. Lovey, never one to fail to loudly sympathize with a suffering child, started howling in solidarity. “AROOO!”
“For God’s sake,” April said. Now everyone was staring at her. “Emily, get back in the car!”
“No!” Emily yelled. “Want pwezens!”
“These aren’t presents, you idiot, they’re decorations!”
“Ma’am, you need to control your child,” the nutcracker said.
“Ugh. She’s not mine, I’m just her landlady – EMILY STOP EATING THAT!” April had to snatch silver wrapping paper out of Emily’s mouth. “Emily, if you’re not good, they’ll kick us out of the Christmas store! Do you wanna get kicked out of the Christmas store? And you won’t get any ornaments? And Santa will give you coal for Christmas?”
“BWAAAAH!” Emily wailed. “No! No! Want pwezens an owwmens!”
“Well, then you better be good! Those aren’t yours!”
“No pwezens?”
“No presents here. This isn’t even our house! How would Santa know to bring you presents here?”
“Come on, Emily,” Lovey encouraged. “Let’s go look at ornaments!”
“Owwmens!” Emily agreed, no longer crying, and crawled off with Lovey.
“This place really needs wider aisles,” April muttered.
Someone was sarcastically applauding behind her. April turned. “Jayda?”
“If it isn’t April,” Jayda said. “Winning Mother of the Year awards. I never thought I’d see you tied down with a kid.”
“She’s not my kid,” April said through gritted teeth.
Jayda looked very much like April herself, except she was black, with full, thick hair that had first been relaxed and then curled like the hair of a white movie star from the 50’s or something. “Really? There’s such a strong resemblance,” Jayda said dryly.
Sheonte came up behind April. “Jayda! Girlfriend! Ain’t seen you in for-ever! Whatchu been up to?”
“Oh, the usual,” Jayda said. “Photo shoots, modeling gigs… I just did a couple of commercials, and my agent is talking with a movie producer about getting me some acting work.” She smiled, smugly. April assumed the movie producer in question was the one that fired April for demanding top billing over her male co-star, who was in fact not nearly as famous as she was. She forced a smile onto her own face.
“Oh, that’s great!” she said in an incredibly fake voice. “I always knew you’d manage to snag a job that takes talent, somehow, eventually!”
“Anyway, April, since when have you been adopting kids? And how’d you keep the paparazzi from finding out?”
“You serious, girl? You think April would adopt a kid?” Sheonte laughed, loudly. “That ain’t April’s kid. That’s Emily Egg. You don’t recognize her?”
“I’m not really following the world of baby dolls,” Jayda said. “You know, I’m a young adult, and I spend my time dealing with young adults. We don’t really have time for babies.”
“She’s my tenant,” April snapped. “Not my best friend, and not my kid. Apparently she’s a big thing on the baby doll scene, but like I give a shit? I just care that the rent checks come in.”
“Oh, right!” Jayda snapped her fingers. “I remember now! You couldn’t get work, so you had to get roommates so you wouldn’t lose your house!” She made a very fake looking expression of concern. “Are you doing any better on the job market?”
“I’m writing a book,” April said, still unable to un-grit her teeth. “It’s a tell-all memoir about all the talentless bitches I’ve had to work with in my career. You ought to pick it up when it comes out! It’s got a whole chapter about you.”
Jayda rolled her eyes. “You’re so immature,” she said. “Better get back to your baby before she wrecks something else.”
Emily was knocking over baskets of ornaments. Lovey was moaning for her to stop and be good, but since she was a large dog without opposable thumbs, there wasn’t much she could do to stop the baby or clean anything up. “Jesus fucking Christ. Yeah, thanks for the heads up, but she’s not my kid.” She stomped off to try to deal with Emily.
“So how’s it goin’, girlfriend?” Sheonte asked Jayda.
“We’re not friends,” Jayda said. “We may have done a few shoots together, but I don’t even know you.”
Sheonte rolled her eyes. “It’s a figure of speech, girl. You gonna give me a lecture about family trees if I call you a sister?”
“Wasn’t it your sister you tried to kill?”
“No, bitch, it was my best friend Vivi, because she was fucking my husband. My sister is in high school, and she’s crushing it. Gonna be valedictorian at this rate. What’s your problem with me?”
“Seriously?” Jayda asked in disbelief. “Don’t you remember when April and Friends was competing with the Divazz, and you were a total jerk about it?”
“That was years ago.”
“Yeah, well, I’m not gonna be friends with you just because you’re part of April’s entourage now.”
“I am renting a room in her mansion. I ain’t gonna be best pals with her either. But you don’t wanna be friendly, that’s fine. That’s fine. No one needs a stuck-up snotty bitch like you for a friend, anyway.”
“Ugh.” Jayda looked at the ceiling, and then walked off. Sheonte shook her head.
“That bitch is the whitest black girl I ever met,” she opined, and went back to where Catrina was picking out ornaments.
***
Outside, Cherry Blossom was trying to talk to the horse. “So, you come here often?”
The horse nickered.
Cherry Blossom spoke words, not nickers, and had no idea what the horse had just said, but the apples she’d been eating ever since they got in the car were fermented, so she didn’t care. As much as she hated being stuck in this world where almost everyone was human and she was a universe away from her friends, there were compensations… like the fact that humans never questioned whether her apples were exactly fresh or not. Apparently humans only imbibed alcohol in liquid form, explaining why their word for intoxication was “drunk.”
“You know, if you wanted to go off on the side with me and, you know, put on a pony show?” She wiggled her rump and lifted her tail, batting her eyelashes. “That’d be nice.”
The horse nickered.
Cherry Blossom rubbed her face up against the horse’s side, trying to reach the horse’s face with her face. The horse turned its head so she couldn’t reach. “Oh, don’t be like that,” she said.
***
In the Christmas store, Kerry was chatting up Pippi Pig, a Swedish animal star almost as well known in the US as Kelly herself. “I didn’t know you were in the US!”
“I’m doing a holiday special,” Pippi said. “Pippi Pig’s Christmas! It’s my first big Christmas special!”
Kelly, who had done dozens of holiday specials, for Christmas, Obon, New Year’s, Doll’s Festival, Halloween, and many others, in America and in Japan, clapped her paws together. “That sounds so great!” she said.  “You must be so excited!”
“Oh, yes, I’m very excited!” Pippi agreed. “Kelly, can I ask you something?”
“Of course!”
“I don’t mean to be offensive, but… is your name actually Kelly or Kerry?”
“Yes,” Kerry said.
“No… I mean, which one is it?”
“It’s Kelly or Kerry,” Kelly said, exaggerating the l and the r sounds so she could make it clear they were different. Normally, when she said one of those letters, they weren’t.
“But which one do you prefer?”
Kerry laughed. “Kerry was first,” she said. “Then I came to America and they called me Kelly. Then back in Japan they wanted to be like Americans so they called me Kelly. It sounds the same but when they printed it on the merchandise, it was Kelly. And then they changed their minds and decided I should be Kerry again. So either one is okay.”
“Wow,” Pippi said. “I guess I should be glad that Americans and Swedes can both pronounce Pippi more or less the same way, right?”
“Oh, I like it,” Kelly said. “I like to feel like I can be a whole new kitty every time I cross a border. Or anytime I want to, really.” There was a loud sound of breaking glass behind them, a wail from a large baby, and a howl from a dog. “Oh dear. Excuse me, I might have to do something.”
***
“That one, meow! I want that!”
Catrina had filled her basket with glittering things that moved. So far she had a pinwheel, a top (this wasn’t much good as a Christmas ornament, because it was half as tall as Doktor Zapp), a disco ball, a Santa Claus with a glittering beard that said “Ho ho ho” when you squeezed him, several strands of tinsel, a singing bird made of mirrors, and a butterfly covered with sequins. Also, a lot of Nativity-related stuff. The thing she was pointing at now was a bird made of sequins, hanging from a tree.
“I don’t know what you expect me to do about it,” Doktor Zapp complained.
“I want you to get it for me, meow.”
“I’m shorter than you! How am I supposed—”
“Yo, Catrina,” Sheonte said. “What is with all the cheap-ass shit in your cart?”
“Cheap-ass shit?” Catrina said indignantly. “These are gorgeous, mrow!”
“They’re tacky as all fuck. What’s with all this Baby Jesus shit? Basic as f, girl.”
“Yeah, well, what kind of ornaments were you gonna get?” Catrina snarled.
“Nice stuff. Like this.” She picked up a frosted glass ball. “Understated. Not in your face being all shiny. Maybe one of these.” This one was a very delicate white snowflake made of something fragile and light. “Not all shit that makes you look like some kind of magpie.”
“I’m a cat! I like shiny things that move!” Catrina snapped. “And calling my taste tacky is rich, coming from you!” She waved at Sheonte, encompassing her outfit, which consisted of a white fur coat, tall leather boots in gold, and a black miniskirt. Under the white coat, which was half open, she was wearing a black velvet tube top over a golden silk top. She also had half a dozen bracelets on one arm.
“Hey, bitch, my taste in fashion is cutting edge. You look like you’re wearing one of April’s rejects.” Catrina was wearing skinny-jean shorts, a chunky belt, and a light blue blouse with short sleeves. Her feet were bare.
“Hsss! You take that back, mrow!” Catrina backed up and flashed her claws at Sheonte. “I have my own fashion sense, not a ripoff of April’s!”
“Couldn’t tell by me,” Sheonte said lazily.
Doktor Zapp took the opportunity where neither of the girls were looking at him to head out of the main shopping area, trying to make his way over to Cherry Blossom, and accidentally bumped into an old man from the Galactic Rebellion franchise. “Watch it!” the old guy said, reaching reflexively to his side, where he did not, at the moment, have a gun.
Neither did Doktor Zapp – he’d left his ray guns in the lab. “Sorry!”
“You better be sorry,” the old guy said crabbily. “You see these joints of mine? I got carbonite all up in them. Got stuck in carbonite once and I’ve never been able to get it all out. I’ve been practically crippled ever since.” The substance in question appeared to be brown clay, and it was in fact in all of his joints.
Doktor Zapp commiserated, showing off his cyborg leg. “A dog got my leg here. I know how it is.”
“I got a friend who got his hand chopped off, got a cyborg replacement,” the old guy said. “Wasn’t any different from a real hand.”
“Yes, well. Mine is very obviously a cyborg leg.”
“Just don’t get carbonite in that cyborg leg. It’ll fuck you up for life.”
“I’ll watch out for that,” Doktor Zapp said, making his exit. As he headed toward Cherry Blossom, he muttered to himself, “If I got something in the cyborg leg, I would just build a new cyborg leg. Idiot.”
***
Emily was wailing. She had managed to knock over and shatter an entire basket of cheap glass balls. An employee of the store, who looked like Mrs. Claus, was chastising her and Lovey, who was whimpering.
“Listen, Mrs. I set feminism back a hundred years every time a little girl looks at me,  you can shut up now. It was obviously an accident.”
“Obviously! But whose idea was it to bring a giant baby and a large dog to the Christmas store?”
“I’m a good dog,” Lovey whined.
“Look. The baby is my tenant. She pays her rent money, she says she wants to go to the Christmas store, she gets to pile into my Glitter Van and come here. And the dog is also my tenant, and was watching the baby, and I don’t appreciate your tone toward either of them.”
“Well, then maybe you’d have a better appreciation for this,” Mrs. Claus said snarkily, and handed April an invoice for all the ornaments Emily broke.
April turned to Emily. “Emily! Emily, the nice lady wants you to pay for the ornaments you broke. Can you pay for the ornaments you broke like a good girl?”
Emily nodded eagerly. “I pay for owwmens!”
“Great. I’ll pay the bill here and pass it on to your accountants, with a ten percent fee tacked on for having to deal with this bullshit, how’s that?”
Lovey gasped. “April! Don’t say that in front of Emily!”
“Whatever,” April said, rolling her eyes. “Emily, do we have a deal?”
Emily nodded again. “Uh huh, uh huh! I pay owwmens!”
“Great.” April handed Mrs. Claus her credit card and the invoice. “Run my card and shut the fuck up.”
Mrs. Claus’ eyes narrowed. “How does a baby have this much money?”
“She’s Emily Egg. She’s a star. Not my problem if you never heard of her.”
“But where is her mother?”
“Her mother is God. Now run along like a good little serf and take my money.”
Kerry reached the group. “Oh, April-san! That was very nice of you, to pay for Emily’s broken ornaments.”
“What’re you talking about? I’m sending the bill to her accountants. The kid is loaded.”
“Maybe I should get her out of the Christmas store,” Kelly said. “So there aren’t any more accidents.”
“No! Want Kissmas tor!” Emily yelled.
“More than you want ice cream store?” Kerry said enticingly, with a purr.
“Eye skeem store?”
“Yes, the ice cream store! Would you like to go there?”
“Uh huh!” Emily said. “Eye skeem!”
Lovey looked sad. Lovey usually looked sad, but now she looked especially sad. “They won’t let me in the ice cream store because I’m a dog,” she said, head hung low. “So I guess I’ll just have to stay here.”
“That is, how you say more politely than April-san says it, baloney? I’m a cat and they let me in. What if I tell them, they have to let my friend Lovey-chan in?”
“But they won’t,” Lovey said sadly.
“But they might. I am star too. Not so big as April-san but maybe big enough. Why don’t you come with us and I’ll wave money at them? It works when April-san tries it.”
“Maybe April shouldn’t be your role model, Kerry?” Lovey said uncertainly.
“Why not? I’m an awesome role model. Little girls all over America look up to me and wanna be me,” April said. “You guys go, get out of here. Kelly, good plan, you do that. Channel me.”
“I’ll be politer than you,” Kelly said. “But don’t worry, it’s not hard.”
As the dog, the cat with the giant head, and the huge baby made their way down the street to the ice cream store, which was also a Playstuf storefront, April turned around, sighing with relief that the giant baby wasn’t her problem anymore. It was in that moment that she ran straight into her sister.
Both of them fell on their butts, a perpetual hazard of walking everywhere in high heels. “April?” her sister said, sounding shocked.
“Madison?” April asked, equally shocked.
April had three sisters – Betty, Courtney and Madison—who were all perpetually teenagers. While they all looked to be approximately the same age, Madison was the youngest. They didn’t live with April, but they came around to visit and hit her up for money so often she felt they might as well.
“What’re you doing here?” Madison asked. “I thought you hated Christmas.”
“No, I just said that after the last Christmas special we did.” April had done considerable quantities of coke to get through that miserable shoot, and had been actively tweaking by the time the shoot was done. “What are you doing here?”
“Trying to buy a Christmas tree!” Madison chirped. “Have you met my new boyfriend yet?”
Madison’s new boyfriend turned out to be from the Galactic Rebellion franchise. He was dressed in a suit of futuristic armor. There was nothing organic visible on him whatsoever. “This is your boyfriend?” April said skeptically, looking down at him – he was only slightly taller than Doktor Zapp, and shorter than Emily would be if Emily could stand up.
“Yes!” Madison said. “Honey, did you find the Christmas tree section?”
“Yes,” the man in the armor said.
“Find anything good?”
“They looked dead. I told the salesperson, they’re no use to me dead.”
“Technically they are dead though…”
“Why don’t you get an artificial tree?” April asked.
“Ugh,” Madison said. “That is so unnatural!”
“Uh, yes. Yes, that is the point of having an artificial tree.”
“An artificial tree would be better,” Madison’s boyfriend said.
“They’ve got them in the back, in that area they’re refrigerating so it ‘feels’ like Christmas. Which is a terrible idea, by the way,” Madison said. “They’ve got fake snow all over the place, but it doesn’t melt, so it’s not fooling anybody, and no one’s dressed for cold weather…”
Madison’s boyfriend shrugged. “I can get the tree warm, or I can get the tree cold. Either way.”
“So can we come over for Christmas?” Madison asked.
“I’ll think about it,” April said, meaning no. “Look, Madison, I came here to buy ornaments and you’re in my way.”
“I want to come see you for Christmas,” Madison said. “Come on, April, we’re sisters. Stop being such a bitch.”
“All right, dammit, stop being such a pest! I have things to do!” April pushed past Madison, scowling.
“I love you too, big sis!” Madison yelled.
***
“Mrrow! Where are all the damn flowers?”
“What you need flowers so bad for, girl?” Sheonte asked. “We got plenty of ornaments.” They had both filled their carts at this point – Sheonte with gold ribbons, soft silk balls in white and gold, tiny beautiful angels in colors like silver, white, and gold, and fragile glass things; Catrina with nativity figures, brightly colored balls, shiny things, shiny things that move, and things that move that weren’t very shiny. Both of them had agreed that Santas and candy canes and ornament-sized stockings were tacky.
Catrina glared at Sheonte. “Back home in Mexico, we had poinsettias and lilies for Christmas. Where are the poinsettias, meow? What kind of a Christmas store is this?”
“You’re from Mexico?”
“What, you didn’t know?” Catrina looked at Sheonte like it was the most unbelievable thing possible that Sheonte didn’t know her ethnicity.
“Near as I could tell, you’re a cat.”
“Yeah, but I’m a Mexican cat, meow. All the Weargirls came from different places. Batrice was from England. Lulu’s American but she’s Cajun, from Louisiana.”
“I never hear you say anything in Spanish.”
“Eso es porque soy completamente bilingüe, puta.” At Sheonte’s look, Catrina snapped, “I’m bilingual. Been speaking English since I was a little kid. I don’t need to throw Spanish words into everything I say to remind people I’m Mexican like that puta gata, who’s gotta be all like April-san and san this and san that to remind everyone she’s Japanese.” Mrs. Claus walked past them right then. “Hey, you! Mrs. Claus! Where are all the poinsettias in this place?”
“We sold out of those last weekend.”
Catrina rolled her eyes. “Figures.”
“Guess you shouldn’t have waited for April to throw together a fake friendship trip to the Christmas store. Don’t you have wheels of your own?”
“I have a fucking motorcycle. All the Weargirls have motorcycles.”
“Yeah, well, if the Weargirls are so great why aren’t you living with them?”
“It’s not because I tried to kill any of them, I can tell you that.”
“Excuse me? Miss Sheonte?”
The newcomer was very, very short – shorter than Doktor Zapp, shorter even than April’s or Catrina’s arm. She was a Forrest-Pierce BittyFolx from the old school, but unusual looking—barely any hair, just a few red curls on the top of her head, and while most BittyFolx girls wore dresses that curved out from their bodies, her dress was completely straight.
Sheonte was plainly surprised. “Yes, that’s me. Who are you?”
“I’m your biggest fan!” the extremely tiny girl said, bouncing. “My name’s Biz. You are, like, my icon.”
“Why, thank you.”
“I love your sense of style!” Biz gushed. “I always wished I could dress like you, but…” She gestured at her perfectly straight cylindrical body. “I’m stuck with this stupid red dress. I haven’t even got anywhere I can put accessories.” Since BittyFolx had no arms or legs, and seemed to do all their moving via close-range telekinesis or something, this was absolutely true.
“Oh, girlfriend, anyone can have style.” Sheonte turned slightly to grab a piece of tinsel garland out of a nearby bin of wares. She placed it around Biz’s neck, where it looked like a boa. “There you go. You might need to tie it to make it stay on, but see? You can accessorize too! You just have to be flexible.”
“Oh, wow!” Biz lifted her boa without hands, since she didn’t have any, and gazed at it in wonder. “This is beautiful! You’re amazing, Miss Sheonte!”
“Of course I am,” Sheonte said, grinning. “But you’re amazing too. And now you can show the world.”
Catrina muttered to herself, “Back in my show, we didn’t have to teach kids to self-actualize through fashion, mrow. We just fought evil zombies.”
***
Cherry Blossom was attempting to drape herself over the horse, having consumed almost the entire bag of fermented apples. “Come oooonnn,” she slurred. “I’m loooonely. Can’t we goooo somewhere?”
“Cherry Blossom!” Doktor Zapp panted as he reached her. “You’re drunk? How are you drunk?”
Cherry Blossom smiled a huge horsey grin at him. “Apples!” she said drunkenly. “You humans never check the apples!” She then turned to the horse she was hitting on. “I got some for yoooouuu… you want one?” Using her hoof, which for some mysterious reason was able to lift apples as if it had opposable thumbs, she pulled an apple out of her bag and offered it to the horse, who nickered and tried to move away, except that Cherry Blossom was not letting that happen.
“Oh mein gott. I can’t believe this. We’re in public! Show some decorum!”
“I had me some decorum,” Cherry said. “I had frieeends. We had decorum. We saved the goddamn world, we had so much decorum! And have they come to get me? Noooo. So what good is fucking decorum?” She planted a sloppy kiss on the side of the horse’s head. “Come ooooon. I’m horny! I haven’t been with another pony since I got here!”
“The horse obviously is not interested in you,” Doktor Zapp said. “He keeps trying to get away.” The horse was tied to a post by the Christmas store. Doktor Zapp tried to grab Cherry Blossom’s mane and pull her away. “Let’s go home. You’re drunk.”
“No!” Cherry Blossom bucked, her hooves narrowly missing Doktor Zapp, who dodged. “I wanna stay right here with my boyfriend!”
“You don’t even know his name,” Doktor Zapp pointed out. “And also, he can’t talk!”
“I don’t need him to talk,” Cherry Blossom said, suggestively wiggling her rump.
A tall, thin cowboy, about April’s height, came out of the Christmas store, carrying a bag of ornaments. “Hey there, pardner,” he said. “What’s your horse trying to do to my horse?”
“She is not my horse—”
“I’m a pony! And I belong to myself!”
“She is my housemate, and she’s drunk on fermented apples—”
“And I haven’t gotten laid since I left Ponyland! I just wanna get railed, is that so wrong?”
The cowboy shook his head, not like he was saying “no” but like he was saying “I am just not even gonna deal with this.” “Well, pardner, I can see you got a feisty one there,” he said. “You’ve got my sympathies. I’ve had to drag my buddy home from a bender more’n a few times. He’s an astronaut, see, and he likes to get himself liquored up on space hooch.”
Doktor Zapp didn’t know how space hooch would differ from the regular Earth stuff, but he didn’t care enough to ask. “Thank you,” he said sincerely. “It means a great deal to me that you care. It has been a very long time since anyone cared.”
“That’s right sad there, fella. You should fix that. Make some better friends.” The cowboy sat down on the horse. The horse was Cherry Blossom’s size, and the cowboy was April’s size, and Cherry Blossom was less than half of April’s height. The cowboy’s nether end barely fit on the horse, and he had to stick his legs straight out to either side or they’d drag on the ground. “Me and Sierra need to be moseying along now. You folks take care.”
“NOOO!” Cherry Blossom cried out as the cowboy and the horse started to ride away. “He’s the love of my life! Don’t take him away from me!”
The cowboy’s eyebrows went up. “Uh, ma’am, Sierra here is a mare. Surprised you couldn’t tell.”
“Oh,” Cherry Blossom said, and then wailed, “She’s the love of my life! Don’t take her away from me!”
The horse snorted, and rode off with the cowboy more than twice her size on her back, as Doktor Zapp held Cherry Blossom back by her mane.
“Let’s get you to the van,” he said, pulling at her.
Cherry Blossom burst into tears. “No one wants to fuck me!”
“There, there.” Doktor Zapp was aromantic and asexual, and couldn’t relate to Cherry Blossom’s issue, but long experience had taught him how to pretend. “I know it’s hard. Why don’t you come on back to the van and lay down? You’ll feel better.”
“I feel sick,” Cherry Blossom moaned.
“Well, then why don’t we get you to the van for a nice cup of water.”
“Uggh.” Cherry Blossom proceeded to vomit all over Doktor Zapp’s shoes, making him jump away.
“How!” he shouted. “Horses can’t vomit!”
“I’m a pony! Ugggh…” Cherry Blossom followed her retort with more puking. Doktor Zapp had to remind himself that Ponyland was in another dimension, which made Cherry Blossom more of an alien than an equine.
***
Finally, April had a chance to shop for Christmas ornaments. She favored the kitschy Christmasy Americana of Santas and reindeers and gingerbread men, as well as a lot of colorful glass balls to replace the ones that broke earlier today.
Since they were shopping to replace her ornaments, she was expected to pay for them, so she met up with Sheonte and Catrina as she was getting ready to check out. Sheonte stared in disbelief. “Girl, you really going with that Santa and candy cane kind of crap?”
“What the fuck is wrong with that?” April glared at Sheonte’s cart. “Your shit looks like some kind of ballroom decoration, not Christmas.”
“Yeah, but my stuff is Christmasy without being ugly, meow,” Catrina retorted. “Sheonte’s ornaments may look boring and corporate but yours are just stupid as fuck.”
“Excuse the fuck out of me for wanting a Christmas feel for my Christmas decorations! All you got might as well be an entire strip club’s worth of glitter!”
“You take that back, mraow!”
“My decorations are tasteful, but I can see you bitches don’t know the meaning of the word,” Sheonte snapped. “Corporate? April’s ornaments are fucking corporate. ‘Let’s put up ugly ornaments with candy canes on them to appeal to the soccer mom demographic!’”
“I can see you’ve never been in a corporate boardroom,” April snarked.
“I’ve never been in a boring-ass one full of old white guys, if that’s what you mean,” Sheonte said. “We Divazz had a boardroom. It was cool. It had soda, and wine coolers.”
“Well, it doesn’t fucking matter because it’s my house and my tree, and I say your ornaments are shitty and I’m not buying them.”
“The fuck you’re not,” Catrina said. “You said we could get whatever we wanted, mraow!”
“Yeah, well, maybe I didn’t mean it when I said it.”
“Whatever, bitch. I’m rich enough to buy my own goddamn ornaments,” Sheonte said.
“I’m not putting them on my tree.”
“Yes, you are,” Sheonte said. “Or Catrina and I are moving out. Right, Catrina?”
“Uh…”
“Because you can’t make the mortgage on the Dream House if two of us aren’t renting anymore, right?”
“I can find another couple of renters like that,” April said, snapping her fingers.
“Yeah, no, you can’t. Have you seen your ratings on Yelp?”
“Go Google yourself, meow,” Catrina said. “If the first hit isn’t ‘April is a bitch,’ I’ll eat this ornament.” She held up one of the sparkly balls in her cart. “Anyway, if you don’t wanna put them on your tree, mrew, I’ll get my own damn tree.”
“Ooh. Yeah. I could have an amazing tree for myself and you could just put your tacky junk all over your tree and it could look like shit,” Sheonte said.
Behind them all, they heard Lovey say, “But wouldn’t it be kind of weird if everyone in the house had their own tree?”
April turned. Lovey was there, and behind her, making her way over to the group, was Kerry Kitty, with Emily Egg sitting by herself outside the general area of the Christmas store. Lovey continued. “I think that would be weird, don’t you think? Shouldn’t we all be able to enjoy the big Christmas tree in the middle of the living room?”
“It’s my goddamn tree,” April snapped.
“But we’re all sharing the living room as part of our common space, right? Don’t you think it would be weird if we all had to have different trees?”
“No, nobody but you thinks so, and no one cares what you think.”
“I don’t care if it’s weird,” Sheonte said. “As long as April’s gonna be a bitch about her tree—”
“We need to go home,” Kelly interrupted. “Emily needs her nap.”
“Who cares?” April threw her hands up in the air.
“You will, when the giant baby throws a tantrum and everyone looks at you thinking you’re her mother,” Kerry snapped.
“I can’t leave until I’ve gotten myself a tree, mraow,” Catrina said.
“Yeah, maybe you can take Emily home but as long as April’s being a bitch, I gotta get myself a tree,” Sheonte said.
Kelly took a deep breath. “All of you are idiots,” she said. “No one can get Emily home without April’s van, she is very tired and on the verge of having a meltdown if she doesn’t get a nap, and you three stupid bitches are arguing about ornaments.” Her huge kitty face got into each of the taller dolls’ faces in turn. “You are going to buy all the ornaments you want. You are not going to get extra trees. I will make your ornaments work together without clashing. You are going to shut the fuck up and buy the ornaments in your cart and then April-san will drive all of us home, do you understand?”
Everyone stared at the normally perpetually cheerful and polite Japanese idol as if her face had just sprouted tentacles like a Cthulhoid monster. Catrina and Sheonte took delicate, discreet steps backward.
April did not. “Yeah, what if I—”
Kerry was about Emily Egg’s height, but considerably wider than any of the fashion dolls. She set her feet like a sumo wrestler and shoved April up against a rack of ornaments, her giant head looming imposingly against April’s neck. “Do you understand?” she repeated.
April paled. “Okay, fine! Whatever the fuck!”
Kelly stepped back and beamed. “Very good, April-san. Let’s go home!”
***
Since Cherry Blossom was sleeping it off in the back of the van, and Doktor Zapp was watching her to make sure she didn’t vomit again, April was able to drive off as soon as she and the others were all in the van.
Back at April’s place, there were mugs of hot chocolate for everyone except Lovey, since dogs couldn’t have chocolate; she had a festively striped bone that resembled a candy cane instead. When April pointed out that cats also could not have chocolate, Kerry had smiled a very broad smile and said, “Bite me, April-san.” And then downed half her mug at once. There was no explanation where the mugs of hot chocolate came from; this was just the sort of thing that happened when you were a doll superstar.
Kelly organized the tree ruthlessly, calling on Lovey and Emily to place the “owwmens” in the places she specified. Doktor Zapp was forcibly recruited to assist; he was smaller than Kerry, Lovey or Emily, but he had a levitation belt and fully dexterous hands. Kelly might have opposable thumbs, but her paws themselves were a bit large for interacting with the more delicate ornaments. Emily babbled happily and Lovey barked and frolicked with excitement, like Christmas tree decorating under Kerry’s command was the best thing ever.
April didn’t know whether she was more irritated that she was being left out of the whole tree-decoration process when it was her damn tree, or that Kelly was actually making the wildly clashing types of ornaments work together. She retreated to the roof with a bottle of wine. Catrina and Sheonte joined her.
“All this Christmas bullshit,” Sheonte said.
“Yeah.” April took a swig directly from the bottle, and then handed it to Sheonte, her eyes a challenge. Was Sheonte going to be all prissy and refuse to take a drink because April’s lips had touched the bottle?
The answer was no. Sheonte slugged down what was probably more than one swig. “Catrina?”
“Why the hell not,” Catrina said, and took the bottle. “Mrow.”
As she put it down, she said, “Last Christmas I was at Batrice’s mansion with Lulu and Foxy and Raven. We put purple and blue lights all over the outside of the house, mreow. Then we had steak, nice and bloody, and we decorated the tree. We had poinsettias, and lilies, and colored balls, and Foxy and I chased them around before we put them on the tree.”
“Sounds fantastic,” April said sarcastically.
“It was. It was great. I had real friends.”
“Real friends,” Cherry Blossom said, pushing open the door to the roof. “I had real friends too.”
“Thought you were sleeping off your drunk,” April said.
“I did that. Now I have the biggest headache. Pass the bottle?”
“Thought you only ate apples,” Sheonte said.
“Naah, I can get drunk the human way too.” Cherry Blossom was plainly still somewhat drunk, but four legs, even unsteady ones, were better at staying upright than two legs. She made her way over to the other three and sat down next to Catrina, who passed her the bottle.
“If you had such good friends, why aren’t you with them now?” April asked Catrina. “You try to kill one of them?”
“That would never happen,” Catrina said. “Even if one of them did sleep with my boyfriend – which none of them did, mraow – I would never turn against them.”
“Oh, la-di-da, you’re so much better than us dumb fucks,” Sheonte said. “You so ride or die, why ain’t you hanging with them now?”
“Because I can’t.” Catrina took the bottle back from Cherry Blossom. “We’re monsters. Shapeshifters. Were-girls, right? I’m a cat, Lulu���s a wolf, Raven’s kinda obvious…”
“So?” April reached for the bottle, bypassing Sheonte’s turn.
“So, villagers with pitchforks. Basically. Meow. We had to split up, the cops kept hassling us and there were lawsuits, and we decided it was best to leave Batrice’s mansion, except for Batrice of course. We’re trying to find a place all of us can live, but rents are so high around here, mraow.”
“That’s so sad,” Cherry Blossom said. “No one should be getting in the way of true friendship.” She reached for the bottle, but Sheonte, who’d finally gotten it, didn’t pass it back.
“This shit’s weaksauce, April. You got anything better?”
April opened her large handbag and pulled out a bottle of whiskey. “I got this.”
“Shiiiit. Yeah, gimme some’a that.”
Sheonte passed the bottle of wine to Cherry Blossom to finish as she opened the whiskey. Cherry Blossom said, “I miss my friends. I miss Ponyland. You people aren’t even my species, and I have to perform in your movies, and do pony rides, and you know what? At home I wasn’t even an actress! I wasn’t even a performer! I ran a grocery store! I sold fruit!”
“Didn’t you say you used to save the world?”
“Yeah, me and my friends used to use the magic of friendship to defeat monsters and evil sorcerors and stuff.”
“How’s a grocery store manager get a position like that?”
Cherry shrugged. “A new mare comes to your hometown with a prophecy, you know how it is.” She threw the now-empty wine bottle off the roof. “Why haven’t they come for me? I thought we were best friends. I thought we’d do anything for each other. Why haven’t they found me yet?”
Sheonte passed the whiskey to April. “Last Christmas we all got together at Yana’s house and we stood around the tree and we strung tinsel garlands all around it. Handing off to each other. The guys were helping with the stuff at the top, it was a tall tree. We had white and gold ribbons tied in bows, and pretty white doves and shit. Had Coke and rum, and Shannon made a cake…”
“Oh, wow, you people used to have such awesome Christmases.”
Sheonte glared at April. “We did. Because we had friends. I thought I had friends, anyway. I didn’t know Viv was gonna end up fucking my boyfriend and then all of them were gonna take her side.”
“I thought I had friends, too,” Cherry Blossom said, taking her turn with the whiskey. “Last Festival of Friendship, we decorated the whole town. Featherfall was getting all the birds to help out with putting snow garlands on everything… Spark had magicked the snow so it would stick together in a garland…” She began to sob. “I’ll never see them again, will I? Maybe they can’t get here! Maybe they can’t find me, and I’ll have to live here forever and ever…”
Catrina sniffled. “Meow. I wanna get back with my friends so bad. I can’t believe I gotta spend Christmas with you bitches instead of my real friends, mraow.”
“I wanna forgive them,” Sheonte said, beginning to cry. “I wanna forgive them so bad, I want everything to be like it was before, but how can I? How can it? I want to go back to the Divazz… I want Jax…”
April, dry-and-stony-eyed, stared off into the distance as around her, her tenants all broke down crying over the Christmases they couldn’t have with friends that weren’t here. All the friends she’d ever had who’d left her had done it because she was a bitch to them, and she knew it. Sheonte could fantasize about going back to the Divazz and Catrina to the Weargirls and Cherry Blossom to Ponyland, but April had never had a group of friends like they had had. Just two boyfriends, and family, and a bunch of bitches who’d used her to get ahead just like she’d been using them.
“I fucking hate Christmas,” she said.
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solohux · 4 years
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So after staying away from A/B/O for a long time (idk why i just figured it wasn't for me) someone got me into it and tbh I kinda need more now? 😅 So anyways, do you happen to have some good omegaverse kylux recommendations? Thank you in advance!
Of course! Luckily, the Kylux fandom is truly blessed with some amazing ABO writers so I’ve put this list under a Read More because it’s a bit long! ❤️
Enjoy! ( ´∀`)☆
◾ Unexpected Avenues by @sinceyouaskedmeforataleof​ (WIP)
No one wanted to take this particularly grisly task, but Dopheld is glad it fell to him when he realises that all is not as it seems. Can he make a new life on the run with his ex, now that everything he thought he knew has been turned upside down?
◾ Safety In His Arms by @redcole​
Kylo knows it's time to bond with Hux, he just wants to make sure that his intentions are clear. After all, it isn't often that an omega courts an alpha.
◾ Heat Sink by @sparrows-trashcan​
Kylo Ren is an omega but so is General Hux. While Hux doesn't mind everyone knowing that his preference is limited to male omegas Kylo Ren is shamed to feel the same. Everything changes after the Starkiller incident: Kylo Ren is in heat and there is only one person on the Finalizer who could possibly help him...
◾ Lighting The Fuse by hey_honey
"What is going on?" Phasma asked when Hux returned from his meeting with Leia looking pale. He stared at her."The Queen's son agreed to marry a First Order official on one condition," he said."And?" Phasma encouraged."That official has to be me," he said.
Alternatively, in which a political alliance is made between mere Lieutenant Hux and Ben Organa, soon to be queen of Naboo. Leia is about to get more grey hairs. And Snoke is an asshole.
◾ High Risk, High Reward by Alexandra_Savile (WIP)
My take on the entirely unoriginal premise of demanding and possessive Alpha!Hux attempts to court a confused and skeptical Omega!Kylo.Feelings are caught, supreme leaders killed, and heats satiated. Story begins a little before TFA.
◾ What We Did For Love by Lady_Faulkner
They were both born wrong but that’s what made them perfect for each other. Hux is a slim Alpha and Kylo is a bulky Omega. Neither thought they would ever find a mate, but after the destruction of Starkiller, Kylo goes into heat and Hux finds he can’t resist him.
◾ Falling Stars by @huxative​ WIP
Armitage Hux is the omega son and ever present shame of Lord Brendol, overseer of the Arkanis region. That was, until King Snoke arranged a marriage between his adopted son and Armitage.
◾ Hadopelagic by DustOnBothSides After a life of staying pharmaceutically heat-free, Hux has to allow his body to go through at least one natural cycle, lest there be consequences. He takes a shore leave and travels to a former omegan retreat, abandoned and all but forgotten after the fall of Old Republic. Ren, not knowing of Hux’s predicament, decides to follow, suspecting treason. He finds something else instead.
◾ Bodies, Can’t You See? by sual When Hux sees the positive result on the pregnancy test scanner, he comes to several alarming realizations all at once. One: that his birth control has been tampered with. Two: that the baby is Kylo’s. Three: that this is his true punishment for Starkiller’s failure. And quietly, in a weak, tiny voice in the back of his mind, the unsettling conclusion that he wants to keep it. He’ll die before he lets anyone near his child. He’ll tear apart anyone that tries to get in his way. Even Kylo.
◾ The Emperor’s New Consort by @redcoleThe First Order is in control of the Galaxy, in a last ditch effort to save those who are left, they request negotiations. Only to find that for the Resistance to survive they only need to give up one thing small thing -  the angry Senator Ben Organa.
◾ Babe, I’m Here Again by @sinceyouaskedmeforataleof It’s 2008 and graduate student Armitage Hux has no idea why hes still hanging out with that nerd of a second year Ben Solo. Surely he had better things to do that sit around planning Dungeons & Dragons adventures with this not-at-all-attractive Alpha who he definitely doesn’t think about constantly.
◾ Flame by bastila_s
On their way to an important meeting with Snoke, Hux and Kylo become trapped when the elevator breaks down. To make it worse, Kylo goes into heat.
◾ Shades Undimmed by @longstoryshortikilledhim  Hux is a bounty hunter who teams up with renegade Jedi Kylo Ren for a hunt. They’re determined not to let their biological needs intervene with the integrity of their mission. They fail.
◾ Fields of Gold by @ mssdare Ren and Hux crash on a planet full of strange flowers. Soon, Hux starts feeling the effects of the pollen.
◾ Unexpected by @gonna-pop (WIP)After twenty years together, Ben and Armitage have gotten comfortable. There are no surprises left in their marriage, and nothing new to learn about each other. That is, until Armitage unexpectedly goes into heat while they’re vacationing on a resort world — and a few days of renewed passion changes the course of their lives.
◾ no hope, no quarter by @thethespacecoyote  Stolen away to a temple on Moraband, Kylo Ren finds himself at the mercy of an obsessive, sinister captor. Only one person can hope to save him, and would even dare put their life on the line against such insurmountable odds—Armitage Hux, his general and lifelong mate.
◾ To Build A Home by @reluctantly-awesome  Ren is truly a hopeless alpha and Hux helps him reluctantly and not because he wants a home himself, not at all.
◾ In Your Debt by @pangolinpirate  Things work a little different in the Order then they do in the Resistance
◾ need you baby (more, more, more) by @thesunandoceanblue “Ren?” “Yes?” Hux traced his finger down Ren’s jawline. “You’d do anything for me, right?”
◾ Alpha You Are Knot by @darktenshi17 Alpha Kylo Ren has finally found his perfect mate, now they can begin a family together. There’s only one problem; that’s not how human reproduction works at all.
◾ Amnesia by @bubbaknowlton  Hux wakes up on an unknown ship, seven months pregnant with a baby crying in a crib. The last thing he remembers is leaving Kylo Ren at Snoke’s citadel. Not knowing what alpha has bred him, nor the fate of the First Order, he takes the baby, some supplies, and runs.
◾ Checkmate by @thez1337  Alpha Kylo Ren strikes down Omega General Hux’s alpha. Then he takes his place. With omega Hux’s pup in tow, will Kylo keep them or make new rules for the den?
◾ Stress Relief by orphan_account Kylo helps his omega settle after a nightmare.        
◾ I’ll Even Call You General by @asexualavenger  Without a mate, Kylo turns destructive during his heat. Snoke tasks Hux with finding him a partner.
◾ Not a Mistake by @redcole  Hux was just looking for a good time when he met the strange man named Ben, but he ended up finding a lot more.
◾ It Feels Right by @deluxekyluxtrashcan After the destruction of Starkiller Base Kylo finds out that Hux is an omega, and tries to help him by finding suppressants to replace the ones Hux lost. It turns out that there are three others omegas on board the Finalizer, and, much to a somewhat jealous Hux’s displeasure, Kylo ends up getting better acquainted with one of them - Petty Officer Thanisson - just a day before Hux goes into heat.
◾ If You Can’t Be with the One You Hate by @tethysian  At Snoke’s request Hux has always helped Kylo through his heats, albeit reluctantly. Then Kylo happens to go into heat while a prisoner aboard a resistance ship. Poe is the lucky(?) alpha chosen to take care of him, and Kylo discovers he might prefer an enthusiastic partner. Hux discovers something else about himself.
◾ time whets the fang by @thethespacecoyote  As an alpha, Supreme Leader Snoke believes he has free reign to do whatever he wishes with the omegas beneath him, including his apprentice and top general. He may wind up regretting his arrogance.
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Text
Shadowhunters Short Story #64.
It is a bright summer’s day in London 1907 when the lives of Anna Lightwood and Ariadne Bridgestock are changed forever.
After Charles broke off his engagement to Ariadne in 1903, she did everything she could to be with Anna again. It took quiet some time, Anna was understandably extremely reluctant to trust Ariadne again and was not even sure she wanted to settle down with one person. However after about two years, Anna realized she was still completely and utterly in love with Ariadne and agreed to have a relationship with her.
The two of them were and are extremely happy together, nothing makes Anna happier than waking up every morning next to Ariadne. Ariadne had told her parents about her attraction to women and her relationship with Anna, shortly after she and Anna got back together. Much to Ariadne’s surprise her parents were very accepting and very happy for her, they liked Anna a great deal and as long as Ariadne was happy, so were they.
Of course Cecily and Gabriel were extremely supportive too, though a bit weary of Ariadne at first, both of them remembering how utterly devastated Anna had been at 16 when Ariadne broke her heart. However they never tried to intervene in anyway, and when Anna asked her father for the Lightwood family ring to give to Ariadne as a symbol of their love and relationship (Since they could not be married) Gabriel happily gave it to her, though he did so with tears in his eyes, both heartbroken and so proud that his Anna was grown up enough to propose to her love.
When Anna had presented Ariadne with the ring, Ariadne had laughed and cried at the same time before pulling out her own family ring, and telling Anna she was about to propose to her. They laughed and cried with joy for a good hour after that. They of course knew they could not have an official and legal marriage, but nonetheless they decided to have a small ceremony where they would exchange vows and present each other with wedding rings, like mundanes (since they could not use the marriage runes) and celebrate their love and relationship with their families and friends. Christopher had been Anna’s suggenes and Ariadne’s mother had been her suggenes. It was a beautiful and amazing day that no one would soon forget.
Shortly after their wedding Ariadne expressed to Anna that she still very much wanted children. Anna was unsure of whether or not she wanted children, she adored her little brother Alexander, and her Aunt Charlotte and Uncle Henry’s twin girls Matilda and Jane, but she was not sure if she wanted children of her own. After much thought though, Anna came to the conclusion that she did want children, and she Ariadne asked all their friends and family to inform them if there were any babies or children at all, in need of a loving family and safe home. Legally the child would not be theirs, but it was not uncommon for ‘Friends’ to take in a child in need and raise them together, especially not among Shadowhunters.
It has now been 2 years since Anna and Ariadne married and agreed to adopt, and in those 2 years they have never found a child in need of a home, but they are holding out hope and refusing to give up.
Currently it is just after 2:00 P.M. and Anna and Ariadne are just clearing up after lunch. Ariadne is in the kitchen washing the dishes, while Anna has gone into the living room to put away the book she had been reading prior to lunch.
As Anna slides the book back onto the shelf, a spark of fire appears in the air, and from that spark forms a piece of paper with a hastily scrawled message. A fire-message, a way for Shadowhunters to quickly send each other letters, that Christopher had invented only last year.
Anna grabs the paper and instantly recognizes James’ handwriting.
Anna, you and Ariadne must come to The Institute as soon as you possibly can, it is urgent.
-James.
This of course sends Anna’s heart racing, is something wrong with Uncle Will or Aunt Tessa? Is it Jamie or Lucie themselves, or someone else in their family?
Anna stuffs the letter into her pocket and hurries into the kitchen, grabbing her coat on the way.
“Ariadne, I have just received a message from James, he says we must get to The Institute as soon as we can, apparently it is urgent.” Anna hurriedly says, while putting her coat on.
“Did he say what the matter is?” Ariadne asks in a concerned tone, drying her hands on a tea-towel.
“No, but I fear it must be something bad, we must hurry.”
20 minutes later Ariadne and Anna rush inside The Institute and immediately hear voices coming from the drawing room. They rush into the drawing room, stopping in their tracks at the scene before them.
The atmosphere is totally calm, Tessa is sitting on the couch in the middle of the room, Will is standing behind her grinning like a mad-man with his hand on her shoulder. Lucie is kneeling on the ground by the side of the couch, leaning over the arm of the couch and James is kneeling in front of his mother, smiling up at her through his tangled black hair. And in Tessa’s arms, is a small bundle of pale yellow blankets, and within those blankets is a tiny baby, no more than a few days old, with a few tufts of black hair, brown skin the same shade as Ariadne’s, and big wide eyes that are fixated on Tessa, who is smiling lovingly down at the baby, holding their little hand and gently rocking them back and forth, clearly very happy.
“I... what is going on? Jamie you said it was urgent, I thought someone was hurt.” Anna asks in a breathless tone, taking her hat off and stepping further into the room. James blushes and ducks his head in embarrassment, just as Lucie’s hand connects with the back of her brother’s head.
“I told you I should write the note!” Lucie exclaims, glaring at brother.
“I know I know! I simply thought it would fun to surprise them!” James defends himself.
“Well you certainly did surprise us, almost gave us a heart attack! Is everything alright? Should we be panicking?” Ariadne asks in a tone of confusion, looking around her at the odd scene.
“No Ariadne darling, there is absolutely no need to panic. About two hours ago somebody rang the bell, and when I went to answer the door and see who was there, I almost tripped over a bassinet sitting at the top of the steps. Somebody abandoned this little one on the steps, there was no note of explanation or any such thing. It took us a while to comprehend what had happened but once it all sunk in we realized we needed to let you and Anna know, I told Jamie and Lucie to write to you, and it seems James was a bit over dramatic, much like his father.” Tessa calmly explains.
“O-oh. Can I... can I hold the baby?” Ariadne softly asks, as Anna helps her take her cloak and gloves off.
“Of course.” Tessa easily rises from the sofa and makes her way over to Ariadne, carefully lowering the baby into her arms. “Got him?” She asks, once the baby seems settled in Ariadne’s arms. Ariadne nods and then looks up at Tessa
“Him? This little one is a boy?” She asks. Tessa nods. Ariadne looks back down at the baby and her heart swells with an intense love, it takes her breath away and is like nothing she has ever felt before. “Hello there, hello beautiful boy.” Ariadne coos. “Anna look, he is so perfect.” Anna comes up to stand behind her wife, resting a hand on her shoulder and smiling at the baby, who clearly already has Ariadne wrapped around his little finger.
“Yes he most certainly is, Aunt Tessa do you know how old he is?” Anna asks.
“I cannot be entirely certain but judging from his size I would say he is about 2 weeks old, but I could be completely wrong, Lucie was that size at 2 months and Jamie was that size at about 2 days.” Tessa tells them.
“We could summon Jem, he will be able to tell you exactly how old the little chap is, and make sure he is healthy and well!” Will exclaims, thrilled with himself for coming up with a good reason to summon Jem. “I shall go summon him right now!” Will adds, darting from the room before anyone can protest.
20 minutes later Jem has arrived, and Ariadne has had to reluctantly put the baby down so Jem can examine him.
Alright Ariadne, you can pick him back up now. Jem says, smoothing a hand over the baby’s hair and sitting back, as Ariadne rushes forward and scoops the baby back up, holding him close and peppering his face with kisses. She reminds Jem so much of how Cecily behaved when Anna was born, she hardly ever put her down and was reluctant to let even Gabriel hold her, it was a nightmare trying to give Anna her regular check ups, seeing as Cecily refused to put her baby down.
“Is he alright?” Ariadne anxiously asks, resting her cheek against the baby’s fuzzy black hair.
Yes he is very well and healthy, he is 3 weeks old, I cannot tell you when exactly he was born, though I will check the records in The Silent City and The Basilas of all baby boys who were born 3 weeks ago, but it could well be that he was born at home with mundane assistance or no assistance at all. Jem explains, as Anna slips her arm around Ariadne’s waist.
“So he is a Shadowhunter then?” Anna asks.
Yes that I am sure of. Should I seek foster parents for this little one, or you going to keep him? Jem asks, looking at Anna and Ariadne. The couple share one look and Ariadne nods enthusiastically.
“Yes, we are keeping him, we will take him in and raise him as our own, our son.” She softly says.
“Ha! Old Gabriel is a grandfather before me! And Cece is a grandmother, too!” Will exclaims in an amused tone, trying to picture Anna and Ariadne’s child running to Gabriel and Cecily and calling them nana and grandpa.
“You will catch up to him soon I’m sure papa, I am surprised Cordelia is not pregnant already.” Lucie teases, earning a glare from her brother.
“Yes well I could say the same about you and Matthew!” James shoots back, causing Lucie to blush. She had only been courting Matthew for a little over a year now, and is constantly being teased by their friends about having a baby. Matthew is all for having a baby, but Lucie wants to wait until they are married and she has published her first book.
A few hours later, Ariadne and Anna head home with the baby, Will insists on driving the carriage back, as thanks Ariadne and Anna invite him in to properly meet the baby when they arrive home, but Will politely declines, knowing how important it is for them to bond with the baby, before anyone else meets him.
Now Anna and Ariadne are curled up together in bed, in their comfiest clothes, with the baby curled up asleep on Ariadne's chest.
“What should we name him?” Ariadne quietly asks, as Anna strokes the baby’s hand.
“I have been thinking about that since we meet him. How about we name him after our fathers? Benjamin Gabriel Lightwood-Bridgestock?” Anna softly asks. Her father has always been so supportive and gave Anna and her siblings such a happy life, she has always felt loved and safe with her father and Ariadne’s father has also been wonderful and supportive, Anna can think of no better name for her son.
“Oh Anna I love it, it is so perfect. Benji, for short.” Anna smiles and nods.
“I love you Benji, sweet boy.”
A few weeks later, while Anna is up early one morning feeding Benji while Ariadne sleeps in the bedroom, there is a knock on the door, thankfully Benji was not sleeping or surely the noise would have woken him.
When Anna answers the door she is thrilled to see her parents smiling widely at her, with Christopher just behind them and Alexander leaning into Cecily’s side.
“Are we too early my love? We can come back later if you like.” Cecily softly asks, noticing Anna’s pajamas and bed rumpled hair.
“No, no now is fine. Come in, you can meet this little one while I wake Ari.” Anna says, ushering her family inside.
“Oh you do not have to wake her on our account, we remember what it’s like to have a newborn, you both need your rest.” Gabriel assures her as they walk into the living room.
“We are both very tired but this little one is well worth it and Ari will want to see you all.” Anna says. “Mama, would you like to hold him first?” Anna asks, turning to her mother.
“Oh absolutely! Come here little one, come to your nana.” Cecily coos in a happy tone, expertly gathering her grandson into her arms, while Anna heads into the bedroom to wake Ariadne.
“Oh he is so gorgeous, like his mamas.” Gabriel coos, reaching over to gently tickle his grandson under the chin.
“He can’t look like Anna or Ari, papa, he’s adopted.” Christopher points out with a furrow in his brow.
“Right you are Kit my boy, however I meant that this little fellow is beautiful just like Anna and Ariadne are, not that he looks like them.” Gabriel gently explains, knowing that his son often takes things too literally.
“Mama, am I the baby’s... uncle?” Alexander asks, pausing to think. Cecily smiles and ruffles her youngest son’s dark hair.
“Yes love, that’s right, like how Uncle Will and Uncle Gideon are your uncles because Uncle Will is my brother and Uncle Gideon is papa’s brother.” Cecily softly explains. Alexander’s eyes widen in amazement.
“I get to teach him like Uncle Will and Uncle Gideon teach me?” He eagerly asks.
“That’s right Alex, what is the first thing you are going to teach him?” Gabriel gently asks, as Alexander carefully reaches out to stroke the baby’s hair.
“Ummm, Oh! I will teach him to read!” Alexander exclaims.
“That is very sweet Alex, and Kit you are not allowed to take him to the lab until he is at least 10.” They hear Anna say, as she comes back into the room with Ariadne behind her, wiping sleep from her eyes.
“But how will I teach him science then?” Christopher asks in a solemn tone. He had been looking forward to teaching his nephew all about his experiments and he and Uncle Henry’s inventions.
“You can teach him out of textbooks, like Uncle Henry taught you when you were little.” Christopher pouts but nods in agreement.
“So have you chosen a name for the little chap?” Gabriel asks, happily taking his grandson from his wife, instantly bringing him back to when Anna, Christopher and Alexander were this small.
“Yes in fact we have. We are thrilled to introduce you to Benjamin Gabriel Lightwood-Bridgestock.” Ariadne proudly says, straightening her posture and slipping her arm through Anna’s.
“Oh, Oh Anna, Ari I am so very honored. Thank you so much.” Gabriel says in a tight tone, getting up to embrace them.
“Have you told your father yet, Ariadne?” Cecily asks.
“Not yet, they are traveling at the moment, they left the day we adopted Benji, before they knew about him. We have written to them to tell them about Benji but have not told them his name yet, we want to do it in person when they come to meet him.” Ariadne says with a smile, still thrilled that her parents are so loving and accepting of her and her relationship with Anna.
“Well I am sure he will be delighted.” Gabriel says, passing the baby to Christopher and helping him support the baby.
“How are you finding being parents? Is there anything you need us to teach you? We will help in any way we can.” Cecily offers eagerly.
“Thank you mama but we seem to have the hang of it now, Benji is a very easy and sweet baby.” Anna tells her, gazing at her son with utter adoration.
“I do not think I will ever get use to changing nappies though, that is my least favorite part.” Ariadne laughs, resting her head on Anna’s shoulder.
Over the next few hours Gabriel and Cecily bond and fuss over their sweet grandson, enjoying being new grandparents, while Christopher and Alexander love their new roles of Uncles, Anna and Ariadne can only imagine how bad Thomas, James and Matthew will be with the baby when they get to meet him.
Shortly after The Lightwoods leave, Ariadne goes back to bed for a while, utterly exhausted, while Anna happily settles into the rocking chair in Benji’s nursery, with Benji in her arms.
“Sweet baby Benji, I love you so much.” Anna whispers as she gazes down at Benji and he looks up at her with his huge brown eyes. “You have no idea how happy you make your mama and I, your mama has gone through so much and through it all she has wanted children so very much, now we have you Benji and you have made your mama the happiest lady in the land, and of course I would be lost without you, you and your mama. I know you are going to grow up with so many questions about your adoption and your birth parents, you will have trauma that I cannot understand as someone who was not adopted, but your mama was adopted too and she will able to understand and help you, but I promise I will also always be there to support and love you, you are one of the only boys I will ever love Benji, along with your grandpa and Uncles, and your Great-Uncles.” Anna brings Benji close to her and kisses his forehead.
A few minutes later Anna is pulled from her thoughts by a knock on the door. “Well now who could the be my sweet Benji, hm? Do you suppose your Uncle Kit forgot something? He would forget his head if it were not screwed on.” Anna lightly laughs, standing up with Benji still in her arms and making her way to the door.
When Anna answers the door she is greeted by a grinning Matthew bouncing on the balls of his feet, James next to him also smiling, Christopher looking around him absentmindedly, Cordelia next to James, her arm linked through with his, gazing up at her husband with adoration, and Thomas, his hand on Matthew’s shoulder trying to calm him down, with Alastair standing by Thomas’ side.
“Anna!” Matthew cries in delight. “Can we meet our nephew?”
Part 2 coming soon!
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cockbiteproductions · 4 years
Note
multiples of 8, except in the misc section. all even numbers for the misc section
200: My crush’s name is: well well well this question again. you’re not getting anything out of me!!! they fucking use this website!!!
192: I am allergic to: nothing. but i found out like yesterday not everyone gets dermatographia and im kinda annoyed. what do you mean your skin doesnt get red and puffy the moment you touch it......
184: Xbox or ps3: xbox solely because of ah
176: Last YouTube video watched: my watch history says this, which is a scene from a show called billions. this scene in particular is about my favorite character asking about their introduction scene with their former mentor figure that they quickly outranked and asking why they were picked for the internship that lead them down this [entire shitpath].
168: Luck: [long sigh]. [puts on clown makeup].
[obi wan voice] im my experience there’s no such thing as luck. 
[rian voice] luck? there’s probability plausibility and actuality. luck is superstition. luck is lazy math. [winston voice] that’s what i always say.
160: Soul mates: again souls arent real..... nor do i believe that people are “meant for each other” on any sort of cosmic/larger level. you are more compatible with people based on your upbringing and your interests and your values and those are adaptable over time though some people are so different that they will never get along and other people match/complement each other incredibly well.
152: Phone or Online: lmaoooo this questionnaire once again showing its age. throwback to when these things weren’t synonymous. online for sure. what am i gonna do with a phone? talk to someone with my fucking voice? i think not.
144: Oranges or Apples: to eat by themselves? probably apples since they are easier and less of a mess. and apples are more consistently better than oranges. oranges, it’s easy to get a batch that just sucks. juiced? probably orange. i love me some fuckin orange juice. but i like apple cider more than orange juice.
136: Hillary or Obama: lmaoooo again.. the age of this. 2008 or 2012. going to guess 2008. obama but not like. enthusiastically. while he was certainly better than [what we got going on now] he still bombed the hell outta some countries......
128: Manicure or Pedicure: ive never had either but i would probably be more comfortable with a manicure. people touching my feet would make me ticklish.
120: Gay Marriage: the only type that should be allowed. sorry straights youre no longer allowed to get married. /s obviously.
112: Facebook: oh BOY are you fucking ready. are you???? im starting the readmore NOW because this is going to be something. i doubt anyone except robots maybe will actually read my deranged pro-privacy anti-facebook/social media/surveillance rant but im angry every time i think about it and if i were a more important person than a rando on the internet with a keyboard im sure facebook would hire someone to kill me one day.
FUCK FACEBOOK. FUCK THAT SHITTY ASS WEBSITE THAT AT EVERY TURN HAS BEEN REVEALED TO HAVE HORRIFYING PRACTICES OF DATA COLLECTION.
but before that, they need to pay some goddamn fucking taxes. they are profiting off the data of billions of people and getting away with paying SO LITTLE back. 
you ever hear about deepface? no this is not the beginning of a prequel meme. deepface is facebook’s facial recognition technology and facial recognition is fucking terrifying. that shit is as good as humans at facial recognition at this point. does that not scare you? that a bunch of computers can figure out if this photo contains you or not? it’s one thing if humans recognize each other, but another thing when computers who can process data almost infinitely faster than humans can are able to do it. the scale and speed at which these fucking nightmares operates is hard for us to imagine and so we are all not scared enough of what they can do. this kind of technology is so deeply privacy violating it’s hard for me to stress it enough. every image of you ever uploaded on the internet could possibly be put through facial recognition tech. and with the fact that there are cameras literally everywhere at all times now at this point it’s so fucking possible that if desired, someone could find out where you are at all times. and that gets SO scary when used by governments. are you comfortable with your government knowing where YOU are at all times? yes? what about if tomorrow your government is overthrown by a group of radicals you completely disagree with? you still comfortable with that? facial recognition is kind of a fucking pandoras box that we are opening and now that we have the technology available to us, unless we actively take steps back from it, it WILL eventually/already is being used in malicious, intensely privacy invasive ways.
and everything in that above bullet point goes for ALL DATA COLLECTED ON YOU, EVER. everything you’ve ever said on facebook is probably put through some multi layered neural network fucking robot who is learning how to understand what humans say on your input and also cataloging things about you as a person. it is doing SO MUCH more than reading the exact text of what you are saying and then picking up on keywords. neural networks are an attempt to copy how humans think by making an artificial version of a brain basically. in simple terms it’s a map of points and connections and you feed it data for a while and tell it what the desired outcome should be. it will adjust those connections and the weight of those points based on your data and expected outcome. that change in connections and weights is how it learns. then after a while it has fed on enough data that it will begin to expect what your desired outcome is. now imagine millions and millions of connections and points. it’s fucking huge. you ever hear about how we don’t know how machine learning/deep learning/neural networks works? this is that. it’s because they are so large and they have changed their weights and points so much that we no longer understand how it makes its decisions. ml is on a deeper level starting to understand what you mean when you say words. like a human. and can pick up nuances humans cannot because of its perfect memory. do you understand how scary this is? do you? i really do not know how to express this better how absolutely buckshit wild and terrifying the idea that everything i say online can be scraped and put through a robot and a profile on me and who i am and my ideals can be gathered almost instantly. how hard would it be to write a scraper that goes to my blog and grabs the text of every post in my talk tag? and then there’s free and open source nlp software (or you can pay for it) and you can feed in everything ive said on this blog ever. you can go to my facebook. you can go to my twitter. you can find my profiles on every online platform ive ever used and take everything ive ever said and determine what kind of person i am based on that. and then you can then make further distinctions based on that data. (sidenote: facebook wouldnt have to scrape the data on my profile, it’s all in their databases already. they have everything ive ever posted on public or private, on my old profile i’ve deactivated, every photo ive posted or been tagged in, everything ive ever uploaded to their servers or have been associated with.) and someone or robot can make decisions about me based on that data. it could just be am i likely to buy [this product] or it could be something much more like am i a threat? am i dangerous to you, the person using this data about me? what are my politics? what are my views on [this topic]? are they too extreme? should i be denied [real life thing] based on what this machine has determined about me from my data online? not to sound fucking crazy, but you ever watch that episode of black mirror? nosedive? and its system where you can rate interactions with people? how this one girl was trying to increase her ranking so she would qualify for a cheaper price on housing? how we’re already starting to see things like this in real life with china’s social credit system?
call me a fucking wack job but i think it’s so deeply creepy that we have digitized so many aspects of our lives and leave machines we no longer understand how they make their decisions to analyze every bit of data about ourselves.
by the fucking way facebook tracks data on people WHO DO NOT USE FACEBOOK. FACEBOOK TRACKS DATA ON PEOPLE. WHO. DO. NOT. USE. FACEBOOK. are you scared? i am.
i’ve been thinking about this tweet from @/malwaretech on twitter from a few days ago. text: On a serious note, social media tracking is more extensive than you may think. For example: those Facebook 'like' buttons you see on every website? They call home. If you're logged into your FB account, it records that you visited that web page, even if you don't click 'like'. doesn’t that sound a lil fucked up to anyone else? that facebook knows that i visited that webpage even though i did not tell it? that it will use that data to build a better profile on what my interests are and that it will use that data to better sell ads to me? i’ll be honest i am unsure of if facebook sells that information to other vendors. i think that might be not allowed but i wouldn’t be surprised if that data somehow got into the hands of people who arent facebook.
the fact that for the longest time you could NOT get your data deleted from facebook? that even if you deactivated your account facebook would still keep all of that in their shit ass servers forever? as far as i know, that’s changed now, but i would not at all be surprised if the next day it was revealed that facebook was Actually Keeping all that info anyways
the fact that by default facebook’s privacy settings are set to allow anyone to see most info about you? just this whole opt out culture is so fucking wack. it should be opt in. your privacy settings should default on the MOST PRIVATE and it should be up to you to ACTIVELY SEARCH OUT how to change them to public. it is ON FACEBOOK to actively cultivate privacy but of fucking course they don’t.
lmao cambridge analytica politics russia brexit trump. i don’t have the energy to even open this fucking can of worms but i will say that again, another layer of deeply fucked up that political campaigns can use that data to try to coerce or influence elections.
do you remember when in 2019. yes twenty. fucking. nineteen. 2019. two thousand and nineteen. 2019. i dont know how more to stress how recent but late this is. 2019. facebook admitted that it and instagram were still. STILL. STILL. S T I L L. storing passwords as plaintext? meaning your password that is “password123ilovedogs” is stored AS “password123ilovedogs” in their database. it is STANDARD AND EXPECTED PRACTICE that websites store SECURE hashes of passwords (not like fucking. md5 or something) meaning you do a bunch of fucking “irreversible” math on the password and store that instead of the actual password itself. so the db would be storing “298!79v@w8W#R;3,f9jf” instead of your actual password. anyways face. fucking. book. was storing passwords as plain text. which means if they ever have a data breach on their passwords db then all that data inside will just be your actual goddamn password. your actual goddamn password. what the fuck? what the fuck? and we still use this website? we? me? i use this website daily? i use this website on a daily fucking basis and allow it to continue to collect information on me? im so goddamn angry.
the fact that now in this day and age you are considered weird for not having any social media? super fucked up. the fact that employers will check your social media and if you don’t have one that is somehow a red flag? weird as hell. why must we participate in the world’s largest data collection scandal ever just to be a member of society? i cannot choose to opt out. facebook collects data on me even if i do not have an account. society expects me to have some form of social media and if i do not then that i am the weird one for it. if you choose to live a life of trying not to be tracked it is almost impossible. can you live your life in modern society without an email address? without a smartphone or laptop? there is an expectation that every person is available to communicate with digitally and if you find the practice of data collection abhorrent and don’t want to use websites that do so, then you’re the weird one who has a LOT of society’s services unavailable to you.
im not going to even touch on the psychological effects that facebook and social media have on people other than to ONCE AGAIN, say they are very real and deeply fucked up.
by the way check out haveibeenpwned. enter your email and it’ll check against databases to see if your email has been on recent dumps. i have been. lately there have been a few older accounts of mine that have been breached and it’s terrifying.
fuck jesse eisenberg man he fucked over spiderman crazy
fuck faang. fuck big tech. fuck data collection. btw edward snowden is a hero. fuck all of this.
104: The future: man we’re in for it. i am not optimistic about it at all. too much tech progression / not enough foresight / expansion/globalization of the world / global warming / political and economic issues are all coming to a head to make the world a fucking disaster.
96: Changed a diaper: never done it! i am not around children often.
88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: having a vague idea of where things are locally. im very bad with directions.
86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: answered already.
84: People call me: yeesa, apparently. i have a fair amount of nicknames but i just call myself teresa.
82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: sure haven’t though i deserve one
80: The first person i talked to today was: soph​ because she wakes up at a normal goddamn time so i’ll sometimes have a text from her from a few hrs ago
76: Right now I am talking to: milo and a discord server im in for a group of friends i made when i was applying to college. though i havent responded in quite a while since i went on my angry facebook rant.
74: I have/will get a job: well i HAD a job for the beginning of the summer when i was a TA but i do not any more as that was first summer semester only. hopefully in the fall i’ll have a job as a TA again but who knows. and then after that when i graduate i hope hope hope hope hope i will have a job lined up.
72: Today: woke up. made a plum smoothie. played minecraft. took a nap. here i am. it’s all very riveting.
70: Next Weekend: it’ll happen for sure. odds are i will be waking up and eating food and coming on the internet and chatting with friends and doing a bit of writing and trying to learn a bit more html.
68: The worst sound in the world: answered already.
66: People that make you happy: will roland lmao. 
64: My friends are: well it’s basically the same people i tagged in my last post on people who make me happy.
62: My School: you tryin to doxx me? it’s alright. not the best for my major. and also stupidly trying to reopen for the fall because theyre greedy and idiots. it was like my 5th choice school but it is what it is.....
60: I lose all respect for people who: already answered
58: Your hair color is: black as fuck. im east asian.
56: Favorite web site: controversial but archive of our own dot org i guess. i believe in their mission and like how they have advocated for fans and have created a fan-owned space on the internet. they’re not perfect but i overall support them.
54: The worst pain I was ever in was: answered already
52: My room is: a time capsule of what i liked in late middle school/early high school.
50: Where would you like to be: im fine where i am. maybe visiting friends though. i would like to Hang With Them and Do Fun Activities.
48: Ever been in love: who’s to say....... what is love? (baby don’t hurt me). but for real the concept of love is weird to me, especially romantic love. i don’t know. i’ve certainly obsessed over people. i’ve noticed i kind of “pick people” to have crushes on. i can’t really say why. but then it creates a feedback loop of i pay more attention to them -> i think more about them -> i like them more. so i’ve made conscious decisions that have lead to me obsessing over people.
46: More guy friends or girl friends: girl but that’s just because people in fandom spaces tend to be women and most of my friends ive made through fandom.
44: One person that you wish you could see right now: kaity is coming to my town but we cant see each other because of a pandemic so im kinda fucking miffed about that. i didn’t get to see maria before she left my state so i’m also miffed about that.
42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: lmaooooo no. i would just like to be satisfied with my life. would like to see friends. do fun things with them. 
40: Last person I got mad at: idk im not generally a mad person. mark zuckerberg probably.
38: I wish I was a professional: as in i suddenly have all the skills and talent needed to be a professional? i think a director &|| writer tbh. i would love to have the Creative Vision necessary to come up with dope ideas AND translate what i have in mind into real life. i would love the ability to be able to tell compelling stories that mean a lot to people.
32: Athlete: lmao if it was 2008 or 2012 i would ahve said ryan lochte but nevermind. idk. maybe katie ledecky.
24: Movie: am not much one for movies...... star trek 2009.
16: Book: i don’t know how to read.
8: Yankee candle scent: idk about yankee candle specifically but i love the smell of apple. 
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Text
Something Borrowed
Part 3 of “And a Silver SIxpence in Her Shoe.”
AN: And here we are at the third part! Hope you guys like this one! It was just so lovely to write and I (surprise, surprise) teared up a little bit. I also went to a wedding last week, so that really inspired all this sappy emotional stuff! 
pls enjoy <3
-
“I’m not gonna say it again, Peter. I’m done trying to explain this to you—”
“—MJ, please, just hear me out—”
“—Absolutely not. End of discussion.”
“Last time I checked this was our wedding—”
“—And now I have to say it again—”
“—Not your wedding—”
“—We’re not doing our first dance to The Time of My Life.”
Peter’s head jerks back, face scrunching in confusion as he stares at her. “And why the hell not?”
There’s the faintest upward twitch of his lips at the exasperated groan that comes from his fiancée as she buries her head in her hands; he knows full well that he’s being a complete—to put it nicely —shithead.
And she knows it, too, as she tries her best not to bash her head against the dining room table. “Oh my God—”
“MJ, I can literally do the lift.” He pushes her buttons even more, seemingly just too damn proud of himself. “Just imagine it. I’m Johnny. You’re Baby. It would be… so dope.”
She looks up at him, blinking slowly, thoroughly unimpressed.
“Okay, okay, okay. Fine,” he chuckles, and she thinks for a moment that they can move on from this like normal adults, that he’ll finally let the joke go. That maybe, just maybe, he’ll give her a moment of peace and they can enjoy the rest of the nice dinner that Aunt May had so graciously prepared for them.
She really should have known better.
“If you think you can do it, you can be Johnny.”
Her eyes narrow.
A beat.
Another slow blink.
His mouths twists, lips pressed tightly together, eyes gleaming with mischief as he holds back the laugh threatening to burst out of him.
“Are you done?” MJ asks, tone even.
The corners of Peter’s eyes crinkle as he grins a toothy, perfectly innocent grin back at her.
“Never.”
And as annoyed as she currently is at her darling, dearest, sweet and wonderful fiancé, she can’t hold back the scoff-snort that escapes her as she shakes her head at him.
God, what a dumbass.
She loved him so much.
“You’re a patient, patient woman, MJ,” May huffs as she steps back into the dining room, having returned with three wine glasses and a bottle of pinot grigio.
Peter sits up in his chair, opening his mouth to retort before MJ cuts him off.
“I try.” She gives a half-hearted shrug, passing Peter a playful wink before handing the bottle opener to May. “It’s a good thing he’s pretty.”
May laughs hard at that particular statement.
The sudden, distant sirens can be heard from inside the apartment, the room falling silent as the sound passes by. Peter’s phone chimes, the police radio crackling through; something about another break-in, a serial art thief striking again in one of the richer neighborhoods.
Peter freezes, eyes wide in question as he glances between the two women and the window, throwing a cautious thumb over his shoulder. “I—Uh—”
“Go,” May says, excusing him with a gentle sigh.
It’s funny, because MJ can’t tell whether or not Peter’s more eager to leave because he gets to go fight crime, or because he’s been freed, been given an out, from the relentless teasing that both she and May could have put him through.
Less than a minute later, he’s back, suit on sans mask, rushing as he wraps May up in a quick hug before planting a fleeting kiss on Michelle’s lips.
And then, before any of them can wave him off, he’s leaping out the window.
Leaving them all alone to clean up dinner.
A moment passes. May shakes her head, laughing quietly as she pours them both a glass of the white wine. “He’ll owe us.”
And to that, MJ chuckles with her, tipping the glass. “He already does.”
May clinks their glasses together, lips twisting into a knowing smirk as she takes a sip.
Although the call had come out of nowhere, neither of them minded, or were really all that surprised. It was just something that happened, almost part of the daily routine. Plus, it was nice to have the quality time together. In the years that MJ’s been with Peter, May’s become not only another maternal figure in her life, but someone she could turn to. Someone she could trust. Anything Michelle needed to talk about—even, no especially when it concerned Peter—May was there.
And she would listen. Not just as Peter’s aunt, but as MJ’s friend.
There’s all these horror stories everyone tells her about the nightmare of in-laws, how hated they are, how it’s almost better to just ignore them and pretend that they don’t exist, and even in some cases, how they can straight up ruin a perfectly good marriage.
But, even though she’s not the traditional mother-in-law, May couldn’t possibly be any farther from that entirely too common misconception.
They talk for awhile, neither of them sure of how much time has passed since Peter flew out the seventh story window, about anything and everything, from the quality of the wine (it’s a little too dry, May points out, but she likes it anyway), to the way her and Peter’s landlord still hasn’t responded to her last text regarding the ever so slightly leaky sink.
And, probably what May’s most excited about, the wedding.
It’s still in the early phases at this point, the venue having only been chosen in the past week. And she had the dress (kind of; she didn’t physically have it, but she picked it out!)
But that was about it. Though, there wasn’t much going into the actual ceremony; it was going to be a small wedding, only family and very close friends being in attendance, both MJ and Peter not wanting all of the fuss and expense.
(They still have to pay off those pesky grad school loans, and they weren’t even done yet.)
The reception, however, was going to be bigger.
Something Peter was more than a little excited about.
“You know, Ben and I had a home wedding.” May swirls the wine in her glass, a fond smile pulling at her lips.
Humming, Michelle grins faintly. “Really?”
May nods. “In my grandmother’s house. Ben and I—we wanted something more intimate, and cheap,” she laughs quietly. “And grandma Eddie… she had this big, fancy living room. But it wasn’t too gaudy or anything like that. Oh—and the fireplace was this gorgeous, mahogany—I think? I wasn’t sure then either.” She laughs again, her eyes sparkling with joy at the memories. “It was just so beautiful…”
“It sounds beautiful,” Michelle readily agrees.
Somehow, the excitement in May’s eyes grows. They light up even more. “Oh, I have to show you now. Hold on!”
It doesn’t take long; she rushes out of the room, returning with a simple, yet pretty photo album, her smile having never left.
The album is still in near perfect condition, pristine, not a trace of dust or a photo out of place.
Something tugs at Michelle’s heart as she opens to the first page. The first picture shows the bride and groom in a close embrace, a beaming smile on May’s face as she stares up at Ben, wearing the same expression, the love and warmth between them almost glowing.
Ben looks so handsome, May looking beautiful as ever.
MJ immediately smiles, seeing the elegant white gown, the off-the shoulder lace and the delicate fall of the satin fabric. “Wow. Your dress…”
“Pretty right?” May grins. “Not bad for the nineties, huh?”
The page turns, again and again, showing another series of photos, all of them showing Ben and May deliriously happy and in love; pictures of friends and family, of Peter’s parents, Richard and Mary, a close up shot of the rings on Ben’s and May’s hands. There’s a few candid shots where they aren’t smiling, but still holding each other in tender embraces.
And MJ can’t help but notice the way May’s voice tightens as they look at all the photos, all of the memories; the way she clears her throat, the way she blinks back the prickling feeling behind her eyes.
There’s pictures of the first dance, and the second; one showing May laughing against her husband’s shoulder, a smug grin that Michelle’s definitely seen somewhere before on his face.
“We were dancing to My Girl ,” May explains, huffing out a laugh as she tries to subtly wipe at her eyes. “And he’d always look right at me when he sang, ‘when it’s cold outside, I’ve got the month of May.’ Always so proud of himself for that, too.” She chuckles, shaking her head fondly. “He did it every time.”
MJ lets out a quiet, all-too-knowing laugh.
The corners of May’s lips twitch again, her chin quivering slightly as she looks down at the photos.
Though, she quickly collects herself, her body relaxing as she lets out a deep, shaky sigh. “So how’s the dress coming?” She asks, shifting the attention to Michelle, her eyes still glistening as she puts on a watery, yet still genuine smile.
MJ shrugs, lips quirking into a faint, brief half-smile. “It’s good, I think. My first fitting is in… a week and a half I think? On the third.”
“Are you excited?” May asks, her eyes twinkling, the same look in her eyes the day she, MJ’s mom, and Betty watched her literally say yes to the dress.
Michelle gives a small, yet enthusiastic nod, though she still tries to play it down. “Yeah,” she responds. It had been a tiring day, trying on gown after gown; she hadn’t even really known where to start. Any dresses she wore were usually hand-me-downs, and they weren’t anything she’d ever put much thought into.
How many she actually tried on, she wasn’t sure, but it was probably in the hundreds.
(Maybe she’s being a bit dramatic, but still. It was a lot.)
Her mom had cried when they found the one . May and Betty, too.
And there was the possibility that MJ also got the tiniest bit emotional seeing herself in the mirror.
An actual bride.
Adding the veil only doubled the feelings though, at least in the three women with her. MJ honestly wasn’t feeling any of the ones the consultant gave her to try on. Sure, it made her look more bridal, more like she was at the wedding right then and there.
But, again, none of them really… added anything for her.
MJ gives a half-shrug. “Still not sure what I’m gonna do about that veil though. I didn’t really like any in the store, I dunno.” She pauses, thinking for a moment. “I figured I could use the one my mom wore, but she and my dad had a small wedding, like really small—they pretty much eloped—so she didn’t have one…”
Suddenly, May gets an idea, her face lighting up. “Borrow mine!” She suggests as if it had been obvious the entire time.
“Huh?”
“You can use mine! It’s so pretty and it would go so well with that dress—Oh let me go get it!”
May doesn’t even wait for her to respond before rushing to her bedroom, once again.
She brings a pretty, pristine box out. “Here she is.”
It’s a beautiful veil, very classic. The fabric isn’t itchy like some, it’s soft and sheer, and it almost floats as May lifts it from the box.
And it also looks very expensive.
MJ’s not sure what to say, too overcome with some unnamed emotion weighing on her chest when May hands her the veil. It’s impossibly beautiful, Michelle thinks as she gingerly touches the sheer fabric.
It’s absolutely perfect.
“May, I don’t know—”
“—You still need that something borrowed right?” May asks, smiling warmly as she sits back down in front of her.
It’s suddenly very hard to speak. Michelle clears her throat, nodding, letting out an amused huff. “I do still need that.”
“Well, there you go.”
May was more than willing to loan it. She and Ben, in their too short of time together, had had such a wonderful, happy marriage, both of them so ridiculously in love with each other. It had been some of the best years of her life, being with Ben. There wasn’t a day that went by where she didn’t miss him, where she didn’t love him, where she didn’t look back on those blissful days together, a day where she didn’t smile remembering something funny he’d said, or how he’d told her he loved her.
And now, all she wanted nothing more than to share a part of that happiness with Peter and MJ.
MJ looks down briefly at the veil in her hands before looking back up, unable to stop herself from smiling. “Thanks.”
May pulls her into a warm, motherly hug. “Anytime, sweetie.”
After helping May with the rest of the dishes, and after a few more teary hugs, Michelle goes home, the cozy, happy feeling never having left as she reads in bed, the new box sitting quietly on top of the dresser in the corner of the room.
Peter stumbles in through the bedroom window nearly two hours later, around twelve-thirty in the morning, lazily crawling out of his suit as she falls next to her on the mattress, face down into one of the pillows.
“Hey, Tiger,” she smirks, running a loving hand through the hair on the back of his head.
He mumbles an exhausted greeting, voice muffled by the pillow.  
“Rough night?”
He pushes up slightly to look up at her. “A long night.” He sighs, finally turning over onto his back. “Sorry I left.”
“S’okay.” MJ’s hand still continues to card through his dark, slightly sweaty curls. “May and I had a good talk while you were gone.”
“Uh oh,” Peter laughs. “What’d you guys talk about?”
“How I should just get out now while I can.” She doesn’t miss a beat, her expression and tone in her true, Michelle Jones deadpan.
His body shakes with another laugh. “That’s fair.”
Looking down at him, the way he’s smiling up at her, his expression so full of love and teasing warmth… it all reminds her of May and Ben, and just how incandescently happy they’d both looked as they danced, laughed, and joked together on their wedding day.
She puts her book down, sinking into the mattress next to her sleepy fiancé. The surprised smile on his face is almost audible as she pulls herself to him, nestling as close as she humanly can.
He chuckles, capturing her lips into a tender kiss. “I can’t wait to marry you.”
And she grins, snuggling closer, a contented sigh leaving her body as she shuts her eyes.
It had been so easy to see how in love with each other Ben and May were, so easy to see how they cared for each other, all from just a few photos.
How they were both so ready to spend the rest of their lives together; two best friends, utterly devoted.
And it had been easy because it’s a feeling—that same feeling—that Michelle knows too well when she looks at Peter.
“Me neither.”
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agentwallflower · 4 years
Text
Supernova: Chapter 10
Hey, I made it to the end of August. Yay.
Good news on the writing front, I’m up to 16 out of planned 27 chapters. Just 11 more to go and this will be done! The back end of the book moves pretty quickly, so I’m probably going to get through it faster. Then again, that’s all new material so... I don’t know what the hell is going to happen.
That’s what happens when you’re rewriting the rewrite of something you wrote in 2012. 
Also, I finished second round edits of my other novel. That’s right, I did it. I got past where I stopped in Blister. Maybe there’s hope for me yet. I’m going to let it sit a month before doing some more edits. Once it’s done, off to my readers it goes. Not y’all. This one’s a secret project the internet doesn’t get to see.
I gave up on my anthology draft, but not because I was frustrated. A friend pointed out it would do better as a longer work, so I’m going to possibly use it for my fall Nano material if I don’t feel like writing book 2 of the trilogy. I should probably do that one tho... we’ll see.
Anyway, I have strep throat and I should be in bed so I’ll stop blabbing. Next chapter is going up on September 5. You’ll get it in time for Labor Day if you’re in the US, yaaaay....
Thanks for reading as always, and I’ll see you in the next chapter.
“So, are you ready for your first training session?”
He was still getting used to being awake at this hour, forget being ready for anything at this point.
Angel yawned underneath his visor as he wished he could rub the sleep from his eyes. It wasn't really all that early – just after 9 in the morning. Problem was, he was a college student. He was pretty sure those hours were against the Geneva convention.
Across the table from him sat Ember, geared up despite the fact it was her day off. Normally around the base she could be a little more casual, but something about a new face had everyone pulling out the stops. Even Scanner had their mask and visor on, which had become something of a rarity since stopping on the ground duty.
Honestly, it was kind of weird. Being paranoid about masks was his thing.
“I'm as ready as I'm ever going to be.” He yawned again, eyes watering. “Whose bright idea was it to make this so damn early?”
His team leader frowned, and the room felt a little cooler. That was typical with pyrokinetics, even with one as well trained as she was. Their emotions were often tied to their powers, so it didn't take a genius to figure out something was bothering her. It wasn't big enough to cause an ice age, but it was something.
“That... would be Andromeda's mother.” Ember hesitated as she spoke. “She is...”
Angel didn't even need to read minds to finish that one. “A massive control freak?”
“A lawyer.”
Same thing.
Scanner was already pulling up family records on screen. “The lawyer who defends the idiots we have to beat up, to be exact. It's a miracle she let the kid come in at all. Don't you know her from when Nova was around?”
There was that name. Ember winced and the temperature took a sudden spike before settling down. It was enough for sweat to bead on the back of Angel's neck as he adjusted his position. Scanner didn't exactly look comfortable either – they rolled back a bit.
“Sorry,  I know - “
Ember shook her head. “It's been 20 years, it's time to adjust I suppose. And yes, I know her from back then. She wasn't nearly as bad as she was now, but I guess dealing with a marriage breakup and being stuck in Bear Paw can't be pleasant.”
Oh, Angel could see plenty of arguments about that as the psych part of his brain overloaded the psychic center. His adviser would have had a field day with that one, it was practically her research topic. Then again, to even bring it up he would have to explain a lot of weird shit. That was probably off limits.
Damn, and he loved giving Dr. B something to chew on for her next book. He was so close to getting some credit.
“So she's deflecting her bitterness over her career goals onto her kids, good to know. Bet that's why she's a defense lawyer.” Angel shrugged. “Whatever, as long as she gets Andy here on time I don't care.”
Thanks to the visor blocking his line of sight, he got an eyeful of Ember looking at him as though he had two heads. Scanner was used to this shit by now, so they kept typing on the keyboard like they always did. They were a good friend that way.
“Speaking of, I spotted her and PT on a nearby cam. They should be coming up soon.” Scanner was grinning at him. “Have fun schooling the newbie, SR.”
Oh, loads. He was only dealing with a alien, how hard could it be?
---
“Did you sleep at all last night? And don't give me that thing you do when you're trying to avoid revealing biological facts to those scientists, I know you. I've stepped on your leftovers.”
Jeez, you leave crumbs once...
Still, Andy shrugged her shoulders as she adjusted her seat belt. It wasn't bothering her, but her shoulder spike was definitely sharp enough to cut through the material. Honestly she didn't need it either; if she got thrown from the car, she'd break the road rather than actually damaging anything. The only reason she kept it on was the fact her aunt was a sticker about this sort of thing.
“Not really. I kept thinking about today.”
Her innards were bubbling up in a way they didn't often do. It wasn't the way she felt when faced with the scientists and their tests. If she had to guess, she was excited. It was understandable, given what was waiting for her.
Though... how were they going to control her?
Andy looked down at her hands as her aunt continued to drive. Miri was probably saying something, but it wasn't registering. She could still feel the power coursing through her entire body, and just how explosive the shot had been. Then she had been outside, with plenty of room to aim. As far as she knew, the Union was inside.
And what if that feeling came back?
That was really what had kept Andy up that night. If she could avoid anything, it would  be the numbing sensation of being out of control of her own body. Something about that just left her feeling cold in a way she couldn't put words to then. Maybe she would learn them in time, but until then... cold worked just fine.
“You paying attention?”
Miri's voice broke Andy out of her thoughts. She picked up her head and turned to face the hero. Somewhere in the midst of her mood, they had stopped driving. They were in the city now, in a part she sometimes saw on aerial shots. It looked... normal. There were buildings and sidewalks, with people walking by and cars driving past. Nothing about it hinted at what it held in one of those fronts.
Leave it to the Union to design their base well.
She shrugged her shoulders and unleashed her seat belt. “Sorry, did I miss something?”
“It's rare for you to be acting like a space cadet.” Miri smirked a little as they left the car. “I was saying we're here.”
She wasn't wearing her mask, but she did have something in her hand. Andy followed along as they walked down the sidewalk, eyeing the buildings. One of them had to be it, but which one was it? Maybe it was the one with the red flowerpot, or the closed windows. It could have been the one that looked darker than the rest. That seemed thematic, right?
“Here we are.”
Or maybe it was the completely freaking normal looking one that didn't stand out at all, smack dab in the middle of the block.
Her aunt smirked as she stopped moving. “I love when people do that.”
She slid her hand down a lock near the doorknob – Andy caught the flash of a white plastic card with her motion. The lock beeped, and then the door swung open. Inside, it looked like any normal entry way; there were heavy looking winter boots lining the side, left over from the winter. Someone had left a bright blue umbrella there, and a mirror on the wall reflected back at Andy as she stepped through the door.
And then all that went away the minute the door closed behind her.
'Yep, she's your niece. Must have ice in her veins or something.'
They were in an elevator, one that was rising quickly. A voice from a speaker brought Andy back to the present. She had heard that voice before, usually calling her aunt away from their time together. The tech; it had to be them.
“She's got a killer poker face.” Miri's tone was bland, but there was a light in her eyes that the camera wouldn't pick up that was just for her. Andy's shoulders shook a little as she waited for the door to open to wherever they were going. It was easier to focus on the joke than the closed space.
Unsurprisingly for someone of her size and background, but she really hated small spaces. Elevators were probably her worst nightmare. She wouldn't start hyperventilating like a human with claustrophobia, but her core was bubbling uncomfortably as she kept her eyes on the door.
Just a few seconds... she could handle that. The walls weren't totally closing in or anything.
It felt like a lifetime, but the door eventually slid open. Andy was probably a little too enthusiastic to get off, which was what earned her a frown from the woman behind her. A comforting hand snuck around her spike to find her hard, bony shoulder.
“You ok?”
Her concerned face and tone made Andy's core stop bubbling as much. The alien nodded as she carefully turned to face her aunt. Had she been a little too rough, the woman's hand might have been shredded. Not a good look, especially when she was still playing human.
“Yeah. I'm still not big on small areas.” She shrugged. “Of course when you're me,all areas are kind of small.”
Miri patted her shoulder as she pulled her hand back. “There's stairs you can go up next time once we have you keyed into the system.”
“I hope that's not by DNA or anything...”
The silence was deafening as the two walked the short hall. Andy probably would have been sweating by then if she was able to do that. Instead, she kept her eyes focused on the door in front of her. On the other side was the Union.
She was so close.
Miri opened the door for her. Just as she thought, on the other side were the heroes, waiting for her. The one by the computer wall had to be Scanner – they were smaller than she expected, even with the chair. And they didn't turn to face her, just kept working.
“Good to see you PT.”
A woman approached, in her full hero gear. Even if she had been in plain clothes, Andy would have known who she was. Her amber eyes were practically glowing, and she seemed to radiate warmth in a way that the alien couldn't manage. Hers was just hot – this was authority and self-assured know how in one.
Just what the leader of the Bear Paw Union needed.
“Took us a while getting here with construction and all. Nice not to be the one causing it for once.” Miri gave her a nudge forward. “Got her here in one piece so you can make the introductions.”
Ember smiled at her, and Andy felt a weight in her nonexistent gut dissolve. One thing she hated was being a burden – she was unfortunately good at doing that. “Nice to finally meet you, Andromeda.”
“Just Andy is fine.” She nodded her head. “Nice to meet you too. Aunt Miri says a lot of good stuff about you.”
Seeing her aunt turn pink and duck out was worth it, as was the smile she got from the pyrokinetic. The room felt a little warmer, but it was in a comforting way. People on the news had said Ember's ability was linked to her emotions, but feeling it was completely different.
Definitely someone nice.
“Probably nothing she'd repeat in  front of me.” She laughed a little – it sounded like a bell. “You can call me Ember. I'm afraid I can't give you my actual name at this time per the rules.”
Andy nodded at that. “I know, I grew up around Aunt Miri and Uncle Leo. They drilled it into me.”
Even mentioning the man got the whole room to straighten up. She swore she heard the tech's spine snap into place like Lego bricks, and Ember grew a half inch even though she was standing pretty straight. The only one it didn't seem to affect much was the one on the couch. Sky Rider was still sitting there, like nothing was going on.
He... looked ok, at least by her guess. In full costume it was hard to see if he was bandaged or in pain, but he was at least in one piece. Whether or not he blamed her for all this she didn't know, but she was probably about to find out. If he tried to slam her into a wall during their training, that was probably a pretty good sign.
No pressure, right?
“Well, then we won't have to go over much then.” Ember was good at moving things along. “You know Sky Rider, and this is our tech Scanner.”
The figure in the chair never turned, but raised a hand. “Don't get mad I'm not looking at you, I don't do new people well.”
That made two of them. Andy nodded her head in their direction, before turning back to Sky Rider. He had gotten of the couch and was walking over to them with a laid back pace. His steps were even, so at least he wasn't limping.
Then again... she had heard gun shots. Maybe they had missed him?
Sky Rider was still short, but she was used to people being shorter than her. The lack of visible emotions because of the helmet was honestly helpful in this situation. With all these people, her head was starting to spin a little.
Ok, it wasn't a lot of people... but it wasn't like she got to meet a lot of people. Most of the time, anyone new was wearing a lab coat and trying to get data out of her. They could forgive her for being a little people shy.
“Don't worry, Scanner only eats Cheetos.”
Scanner's typing got a little harder. “Very funny, SR.”
“Just trying to make the new guy comfortable.” His body language suggested he was enjoying this. “I can take it from here, Ember. You can get going if you want.”
Ember's body language relaxed a little. “Are you sure? I can stick around if you want.”
Ah... someone was in on their day off. Andy hadn't considered that. A weight dropped into her gut once again as she tried to figure what the woman might have been missing. Miri's days off were rare and far between, so... she had given up a lot.
Was there a family waiting for her? Shit... she was already screwing things up.
Sky Rider gave them both a thumbs up. “Get out of here and enjoy your day off. We'll let you know if she blows anything up.”
That was probably the least likely way to get anyone to leave, in Andy's opinion. She opened her mouth to assure the woman she wouldn't do anything like that, but there was no need. Ember was chuckling a little as she headed towards the door.
“I'll hold you to that. It was nice meeting you, Andy.”
And then she was gone, leaving a very confused alien in the grips of a bunch of weirdos. Still, she was there. It was probably better to just make the most of it. She still didn't feel entirely comfortable as the masked hero motioned for her to follow him towards a door off to the side.
How the hell could they keep her contained in a residential building anyway?
===
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purpleswans1 · 5 years
Text
Family Reunion
Another piece of my Villain!Izuku AU for villain month. The prompt this time is “Enemy of my Enemy,” and it actually takes place after my published outline ends. Sorry if things are confusing here, you should understand things more when you read Saturday’s fic.
Read also on FF and AO3
“Hey, Dabi? Can we talk for a sec?” Izuku asked.
Dabi turned to the de-facto leader of their little villain group. “Sure. What’s up?”
Izuku waited until the others had all gone upstairs before continuing. “I’ve been contacted by a potential new recruit. Because of who he is, I figured it would be best to talk to you before inviting him to move in.
A new recruit? Already? Still, Dabi wasn’t sure why Izuku wanted to talk to him about this. “What’s his name?”
“Shoto Todoroki.”
A baby sleeping in his mother’s arms. A toddler looking at his hands in terror, the right one covered in frost and the left one wreathed in flame. A child trembling in exhaustion and pain. A boy’s face covered in bandages and glaring up with hate-filled eyes.
Dabi took a deep breath. “Endeavour's son?”
Izuku nodded. “If you don’t want him around I’ll understand. I’ll just tell Shoto to stay at UA and act as a spy. But if you could bear with us… I think it would do Shoto a lot of good to get out of that place.”
“Does he know we’re the ones who attacked his father?”
Izuku smirked. “I suspect that was our main selling point.”
Huh. Looks like the kid hasn’t been brainwashed by the old man after all. “Okay, bring him in.”
Izuku looked skeptical. “Are you sure?”
“Yeah. My issue is with Endeavour, not his kid. Besides, it sounds like little Shoto has some daddy issues.”
Izuku pursed his lips, seemingly not convinced. “Alright, if you say so. If nothing else, this will give Shoto a chance to explain himself.”
Dabi smiled -- genuinely enthusiastic for once -- and said, “I’m looking forward to that.”
-----------------
Shoto Todorki felt like a sheep in the wolf’s den. Which did make sense; what was a child of the #1 hero doing around villains? What was he doing asking to join them? Well, that just proved how little they knew.
“Guys, this is Shoto Todoroki. He’s offered to join us,” Izuku said, introducing him to the waiting wolves.
Everyone in the room, with the exception of Izuku and the little girl playing on the floor, stared at Shoto like he was a freak.
Well, they weren’t wrong, but it was still uncomfortable.
“Izuku, wasn’t that guy at the UA sports festival?” one of the girls -- the brunette -- asked.
Izuku nodded. “Yes. Until today he was a hero student at UA, but please listen to what he has to say before you judge him.” Izuku turned to Shoto and motioned for him to speak.
Well, it's now or never.
“My father is Endeavour and I hate his guts.”
That got their attention, but now that Shoto had started he couldn’t stop. It was just like at the sports festival, when he poured his heart out to a stranger her now knew was a villain. Only now, this wasn’t a trickle of hate leaking through the damn; it was the flood he was determined to let loose and share with the world.
“He’s obsessed with beating All Might, and decided to have a successor that would be stronger than him. I don’t know if any of you have heard of quirk marriages, but my father married my mother for no other reason than her quirk. When my quirk came in, father started a brutal training regiment. I was only four years old. It was painful for me, but stressed out mom out even more. She was already cracking under the strain of living with a man she hated, but she finally broke one night when I found her talking on the phone. She screamed that my left side was unsightly and poured boiling water over it.” Shoto reached up to touch his scar, both to indicate that was when he got it and because he was remembering how much it had hurt.
Nobody else tried to speak.
“It hurt, what my mother had done to me, but I knew my father was the one to blame. He’d driven her to the breaking point, and once it was done he shipped her off to a mental hospital and swept it under the rug. At first I was determined to become a hero without using my flames, the quirk I’d gotten from my father, but I met Izuku and he showed me another way. The only reason my father was able to get away with all that he did was because society put him on a pedestal simply for being a strong hero. I want to help you change that aspect of society, and I definitely want to help you kill my father.”
Shoto finished his story, putting his hands in his pockets. Nobody spoke for a long time.
An oddly familiar voice broke the silence. “Well, the enemy of my enemy is my friend. Welcome to the Quirk Revolutionaries.” The speaker was a young man covered in burn marks.
The lizard-like man looked at Shoto. “If Dabi thinks it’s fine, then I have no objections. My name is Spinner, by the way.”
The brunette girl came forward. “I’m Ochaco Uraraka. It’s good that you’re able to join us, Shoto.”
“I’m Toga!” the blond said. “Oh, Izuku, I’ve got to try his blood! Can I cut him?”
“Not right now Toga, we should let Shoto get settled in first.” Izuku leaned into Shoto’s ear and whispered, “I’ll explain later.”
Shoto nodded. There was probably a lot he’d need to get caught up on.
The little girl got up from the floor and ran to Izuku. She hid behind his leg, casting a cautious glance at Shoto.
Izuku noticed her and placed a comforting hand on her head. “Do you want to introduce yourself to Shoto?”
The girl was painfully nervous, so Shoto took the initiative. He kneeled down so he was eye level with her. “My name is Shoto. What’s yours?”
“I’m Eri,” she said shyly.
“Izuku found Eri in a bad situation,” the scarred man -- Dabi -- explained. “Since he’s such a sucker for sob stories, we’ve been looking after her.”
Oh. Shoto should have been surprised to find a child in a house full of villains, but for some reason it never crossed his mind.
Dabi clasped his hand on Shoto’s shoulder. “It’s getting late. How about you guys get Eri ready for bed while I talk to the new guy?”
Izuku frowned. “Are you sure?”
“Yeah. Take care of the little princess,” Dabi insisted.
Shoto gave a small nod. He didn’t understand everything that was going on, but he didn’t want Izuku to worry about him any more.
“Well, if either of you need anything, just holler.” Izuku cast one last glance at Shoto before leading Eri up the stairs, with Uraraka, Toga, and Spinner trailing behind.
Once they were gone, Dabi stood in front of Shoto, sweeping his eyes over Shoto’s entire body. It made him feel a little uncomfortable.
“You’ve grown a lot since I last saw you, Shoto.”
That was surprising. “Have we met before?”
“When your quirk first came in, you were so scared. Mom and I both told you to keep it hidden, but Dad noticed anyway and dragged you away to start training.”
Shoto sucked in a breath through his teeth. “Who… Who are you?”
“I’ll admit, I was a little relieved. With you as the old man’s perfect successor, I finally got a chance to have a childhood. For the first time I could remember, I got the chance to spend time with Natsuo and Fyumi and act like a real older brother to them.”
Shoto realized what he was saying. Tears blurred his vision. “Big bro Touya?”
Warm arms circled Shoto in a tight embrace. “I’m so sorry for leaving you behind, Shoto. I needed to get out of that house, but I should've… I knew it would make things harder for you, but I left anyway. Can you ever forgive me?”
Shoto’s arms came up to return his brother’s hug. “Big bro… I thought you were dead. I can’t believe…”
“Shhh. It’s my fault; it was the only way I could think of to get the old man off my back. I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but I’m just so glad that you’re here now.”
Tears fell from Shoto’s eyes. “There’s nothing to forgive, big bro. You were just doing what you needed to do. I found my own path, and now we’re together again.”
Dabi -- Touya -- squeezed harder. “Thank you, Shoto.”
The two brothers stayed like that, just holding each other, for a while. That is, until a new voice ruined the moment.
“So, you two are related I take it?” Izuku stood a few steps up, in full view of the brotherly embrace.
Dabi looked up. “Are you saying you expected this?”
“Well, your quirk works similarly to Endeavour's, so I always thought it was a possibility. I heard Shoto’s story long before we met, so I knew that his family had a good reason to hate him as much as you do. Not to mention, your hatred of Endeavour was awfully personal, so it made even more sense for you to know him or Shoto personally.” Izuku explained.
Dabi snorted. “You know Izuku, you’re pretty scary when you do stuff like that.”
“It’s just a part of my charm,” Izuku said. “By the way, there’s a spare bedroom for you Shoto. I should warn you, Eri tends to crawl into bed with whoever’s awake when she gets a nightmare, so don’t be surprised if she visits you in the night.”
“Come on, let’s get you settled in,” Dabi started to lead Shoto up the stairs.
“Thanks, big bro Touya,” Shoto said.
“Eh… I don’t mind if you call me that when we’re alone, but I’d rather you call me Dabi around the others, okay?” Dabi rubbed his neck. “I’ve put a lot of effort into reinventing myself after I got out of that place.”
Shoto considered this. “Maybe I should pick a new name for myself too.”
Dabi laughed. “Sure, kid. You might want to run it past Izuku; he’ll probably have a bunch of ideas for you.”
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ariphyll · 5 years
Text
and your eyes, they hide a thousand words
– Chapter 4: One, Two, Three... — Prev. Chapter (in the reblogs cause Tumblr is broken)
Ao3. Ver. in the reblogs
Xander/Takumi - Arranged Marriage AU
Word Count: 2323
Summary: Takumi was starting to feel the toll that adapting to both castle life and wedding prep was leaving in it's wake. It would have to stop at some point.
A/N: Will I ever update in a regular time frame? The world may never know. Not super satisfied with this chapter but it's gonna do better being out in the open than sitting in my wips for any longer. Who knows, maybe I'll come back around and edit it in the future? That's for future me to decide.
Even back in Hoshido Takumi found council meetings to be… lackluster. As much as politics was something he was groomed to understand from childhood, he could only stand it for so long. Listening to people drone on and on about taxes and construction was exhausting for anyone after enough time. If he was honest, sometimes he wanted to hide away like a child and just ask for the meeting notes later.
Still, there was one perk that back home held, Takumi was realizing. There, at least, nobody side eyed him with barely disguised distaste.
It’s not that Takumi blamed the other Nohrian members - well, okay, not completely. He could only imagine the response Hoshido’s own council would give in this situation. Yet repeating that rationale in his head over and over succeeded in very little beyond it just becoming white noise. After being introduced to everyone before the meeting, all awkward smiles and stiff greetings with eyes that spoke unpleasantries, well... he was already tired.
Takumi gritted his teeth as he listened to another Nohrian whose name he couldn’t remember butcher some landmark's pronunciation as they discussed fresh trade routes. This whole meeting was edging from annoying into frustrating.
Takumi watched the Nohrian man continue talking but his gaze was unfocused. What was his name anyway? Takumi drummed his fingers against the table as he thought. There had been introductions but the second he heard someone’s name it dissipated to nothingness in his mind.
Takumi ran over the Nohrian names he knew in his head as the meeting carried on without him. It wasn't like he could ask for his name now, and Takumi wasn’t sure how Xander would take to his immediate mental dismissal of his council’s members. He was going to be involved with this council after all, marriage or not. So perhaps at least showing an attempt was necessary, even if the middle-aged man speaking was drawing a complete blank.
Takumi glanced at the man’s oily mustache and receding hairline. His face was distinct enough at least, his name couldn’t be that far off. V-something, maybe? Yeah, he looked like he had a V in his name...
“Mm, is something keeping our new prince distracted? Or is it that he doesn’t even know the trading routes of his own kingdom?”
Takumi was pulled out of his thoughts by the barbed comment, aware all at once that the whole council was staring at him. Ah, pleasant. The man who made the comment was sitting to the right of oily-mustache, wearing what seemed like a perpetual frown and with eyebrows too bushy to fit his face.
Takumi brought a polite smile to his face that didn’t even begin to feel real, trying hard to feign playing nice. “My- apologies. What is the place in question?”
Bushy-eyebrows attempted to hide his scoff but it was half-hearted at best. “Lord Nichol was asking if the path that goes through the mountains near Igashato would be able to go farther into northern Nohrian territory.”
Condescension dripped from the man’s tone and Takumi felt his patience wearing thin. He wasn’t going to be treated like a child by a man who couldn’t even pronounce Igasato right. Takumi doubted half of these people could even find it on a damn map. He opened his mouth but whatever sharp retort he had on his tongue died as he felt a kick from under the table.
He shot a glare towards Leo who was busy writing something down in his notes. Convenient.
Bushy-eyebrows cleared his throat, catching Takumi’s attention again as he raised one furry monstrosity up. Takumi bit back a huff and schooled his voice into fake sweetness.
“An Iga-sa-to route is possible - of course if you don’t mind your merchants being mobbed by kitsune now and again.”
A woman with more of a beak than a nose spoke up. “They can simply move their territory then. Is Hoshido not capable of adjusting its borders or… protecting them?”
Takumi felt his false smile weaken at the insinuation. His hand twitched on the table.
"I wasn't aware the situation was so dire we needed to attack them," he said. His throat felt a bit tight in his effort to keep his voice calm.
Beak-woman shot him a bored look. "We won't have to if they know their place, now will we?"
"We never did have an issue with working with the wolfskins," Bushy-brows pitched in, slime dripping from his tone.
Takumi felt acid in the back of his throat. He could think of a lot of ways Nohr used to 'work' with the wolfskins under Garon's rule. However before he, or anyone else could further chime in Xander spoke up from the head of the table.
“There will be no need for any of that. We are not going to force the kistune to adjust by any means.” Takumi almost thought he heard a bit of chill to his tone. “There is another route a little farther south, isn’t there Prince Takumi?”
Takumi drew his eyes away from beak-woman’s dark ones as he thought. “There should be, can’t imagine it would add more than a day or two to the travel time.”
Xander nodded. “Then adjust your maps to that, Lord Nichol, and check your other suggestions for flaws. Any others will have to be drawn up anew.”
Takumi watched beak-woman frown from the corner of his eye. A small spark of something akin to victory flared in his chest. Even if the council was bitter at his presence at least he had strength if the king was on his side. It was a small comfort, but the only one he would get today it seemed.
Xander let out a short sigh - nigh inaudible but Takumi was seated close enough to catch it. “We’ll reconvene in a few days to go over the new tax plans. For now, let’s draw this meeting to a close.”
Takumi let his body go slack as everyone started to disperse, trying to shoo away the lingering bad taste in his mouth. Leo gave him a pointed look from across the table. “Someone seems eager to start fights.”
“I almost miss the old war councils,” Takumi mumbled, toying with the ends of his ponytail. Sure, it was war but at least there everyone was mostly on the same page and didn’t drive him up the wall… by the end of it, at least.
“At least attempt to play civil here,” Leo said.
“And should I be modeling myself after you?” Takumi asked, standing and starting to organize his notes. They were detailed up until the point he had turned off from the conversation. “I’ll play nice when you show me you know how to first.”
Leo rolled his eyes at him. “I think it’s about time you let go of those petty squabbles we had.”
“And I think you have no place to talk.” Takumi shot him a small grin before turning and leaving. All things considered, he was eager to escape that room.
As he walked down the hall, he gave an idle tug at the collar of his shirt. Oboro had seemed enthusiastic when she woke him up early that morning with new outfits, but Takumi could only give half effort. Honestly, who designed such tight fabric around your neck of all places?
Perhaps he could sneak away back to his room… Takumi was pretty sure he could find his way back from here. He could strip, grab one of the books Leo had recommended from the library, avoid any and all wedding prep for a while...
“Prince Takumi!”
Or not. Some dreams were too sweet, it seemed.
Turning, Takumi saw Laslow jogging up to him, a breathless smile on his face. “Ah, I’m glad I found you milord. You disappeared so fast after the council meeting...”
“Mm. Do you need something from me?” Takumi asked.
Laslow smiled wider, not put off by his blunt tone. “Simply your company for an hour or two. I’ve been entrusted to be your dance instructor.”
Takumi paused at that. “I’m sorry - my what?”
“Come on now, we shouldn’t waste any time. I myself know personally how tricky some Nohrian dances can be - especially more traditional ones,” Laslow said, gesturing for him to follow down the hall.
Of course. Dancing. For the wedding.
Takumi must’ve been pulling a face subconsciously as Laslow let out a low chuckle. “Don’t worry, milord. It should only take a few lessons for you to get the hang of it.”
“Right,” Takumi muttered. “Uh- lead the way then, I guess.”
He supposed out of all possible outcomes, Laslow wasn’t the worst option to teach him. Takumi had never actually managed to see him dance before but he had heard rumors about his skill. Plus, it helped that he wasn’t a complete nightmare to stick around with. Still…
“Why are you teaching me, anyway?” Takumi asked. “Wouldn’t a formal instructor be more suited to this sort of thing?”
Laslow paused in front of a door, glancing inside before pushing it open. “Typically, yes, but King Xander asked me to take on the task instead.”
Takumi frowned as he followed him inside the cleared out room. “He asked you to…?”
“Yes, he said it might help with a familiar face teaching you.” Laslow turned to face him. “Now, let’s get started, shall we?” Before Takumi could even reply Laslow was already analyzing him for critiques. “Hmm, keep your posture more straight. Feet farther apart.”
In the back of his mind Takumi was starting to wonder if he actually would prefer a different instructor.
Laslow grabbed a hold of his hands once he was satisfied with his posture. “The waltz isn’t the most difficult Nohrian dance, but I don’t expect you to grasp the basics that fast.”
“Uh- uh huh,” Takumi mumbled, trying not to shift out of place.
“Now mirror after me - left foot first, then right, and now together-” Laslow said, moving in a slow, measured pace.
All things considered, it could be worse. Takumi knew more complicated dances from home but his feet felt awkward as he followed Laslow through the steps. His whole body felt stiff and too close, and more than once their shoes scuffed against each other. Yet even with Laslow’s stream of corrections and critiques as they moved, Takumi was positive it could’ve been much, much worse.
It was a small mercy being granted upon him.
“You’re starting to get the flow of it now, aren’t you? Tomorrow I’ll have you start working in your heels while you finish growing used to the rhythm,” Laslow said, adjusting Takumi’s grip on his hand.
“Heels…?” Takumi echoed, voice hesitant as he tried to both dance and talk. He wanted to glance down but he knew Laslow's keen eyes would notice immediately.
Laslow nodded. “Yes, they won’t be terribly high but, well - a waltz is a bit easier when the height difference is a bit closer together. More comfortable for both parties.”
Ah, right. Laslow wasn’t much taller than Takumi was; he had almost forgotten the near almost foot of height difference between Xander and him. Takumi was pretty sure he had at least worn Nohrian heels before during a reluctant game of dress-up with Elise. He remembered them being vaguely uncomfortable to stand in but overall not the end of the world. Fixing his weight while he walked was the biggest issue. Dancing in a pair however…
“Exactly - how high are we talking?” Laslow chuckled. “You’ll get used to them. I’m more used to flats myself, but heels are nothing once you learn how to walk in them.” “So I’ve heard…” Takumi mumbled. How Camilla managed to wear them even into battle was beyond him.
Laslow fixed him with a bright smile. “I would never let you go out there milord if I wasn’t absolutely positive you were ready. It would reflect poorly on me after all; I could never live it down.”
You’re hardly the only one. Takumi wasn’t sure if he would be able to stomach even the idea of doing something as horrendous as falling during his own wedding. Anxiety started to build up in the back of his throat. Falling was only one of many errors he could make. Heels may help close the height gap between Xander and him, but he still had to actually stay on beat with him.
Now that he thought about it, Takumi wasn't sure he had ever been this close to Xander before. There was only a loose gap between Laslow and him - they were close enough that Takumi could see the color of his eyes without issue. It was almost a little too close. It was certainly much closer than he had ever been with Xander.
The anxiety in the back of his throat continued to build up into his mouth. Gods, he was stuck getting married to someone he only knew in small pieces.
Laslow corrected Takumi’s stride length with a gentle nudge, firm and sure in his movements. “You’re overthinking it. Simply focus on the flow of the gait...”
Takumi let out a quiet breath. The mounting pressure started to cool as he focused on Laslow's instructions. One, two, three. Keep your feet in line, and then together. Heel to toe. Keep your posture right.
The bubbling anxiety started to melt as Takumi focused on moving. He felt grounded again instead of teetering on a thin spiral. There wasn't anything he could do right now except practice what Laslow taught him.
One, two, three.
Maybe he could get some archery practice in for some stress relief...
"Now you're getting the hang of it, milord," Laslow said. "Gracefully following your partner’s movement is a big key in staying on beat."
Takumi gave an idle nod, trying to sneak a glance down at their feet position. "Uh-huh, I'll keep that advice in mind."
“Ah, ah-! Eyes up, milord!”
A/N:The only thing that matters is me finding a legit reason to shove Takumi in heels like the tiny bastard he is thank you good night.
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amarauder · 5 years
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chapter twenty-nine ❥ original
it’s a hate-love thing original version.
james potter x reader.
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"Wasn't it so romantic?" asked Arabella dreamily. "I loved it! The wedding...and then the reception...everything!"
"It was all right for the most part, but I didn't like Frank and Alice snogging for about five minutes when they had to kiss," said Sirius grumpily.
James snorted. "Well, what did you expect, Padfoot? We'd probably see a whole movie of you and Arabella snogging when your wedding comes."
"Yeah, I still don't get why you and Y/n are planning to get married so early. I mean, you guys are pretty young, and next April's going to come by pretty fast. Bella and I are waiting longer before we tie the knot."
Y/n smiled and clutched James' hand, squeezing it tightly. "We want to get together before it's too late, Sirius. I mean, with Voldemort and everything—"
"Oh, don't remind me, n/n. I know all about the stupid git, believe me. I also think that Regulus is a Death Eater."
"You've been saying that for practically forever, Sirius, dear," objurgated Arabella, sighing.
"Well, it's true, isn't it? I only speak the truth, Bella."
Remus snorted, and turned it into a hacking cough, grinning at Sirius. "You wish."
"Excuse me?" Sirius pretended to look extremely offended.
James wrapped an arm around Y/n's waist and held her carefully, as if afraid that she'd break any minute. Just the feeling of touching her created shivers down his spine and he smiled dreamily. Even with a madman after him and his fiancée, he still wanted to be married to Y/n before it all ended. Before their lives ended.
"Hey, James?"
He blinked and stared around. "Who said my name?"
"Are you all right?" inquired Sirius anxiously. "You look all green, mate. D'you feel sick?"
James groaned and rubbed his forehead. "Now that you mention it, I do."
"I think you were affected by Frank and Alice's snog, too," agreed Sirius mournfully.
"Padfoot, shut up. It wasn't the snog...I guess I'm just not feeling well. Maybe it's because of the Order and stuff."
"Oh, the Order." Sirius rolled his eyes. "That's nothing to worry about. I think we can handle Death Eaters, four against one."
"Or not," added Arabella, frowning.
"Don't worry about it," reassured Y/n, smiling. "There's nothing to fret about, Bella. In the meantime, I think we have to go on with the wedding plans."
"Oh! Of course!"
"Now?" questioned James incredulously. "Y/n, the wedding is next year! We have plenty of time to plan all that stuff. We have a meeting with the Order this evening, though."
"It was so nice of you two to let the Order use your home as headquarters," said Jennifer approvingly. "I mean, you'll never get any peace at all. We all have to basically live there, anyway, since those are the Order's rules."
"Yes, it is rather stupid," agreed Y/n, flushing, "I mean, how we all have to practically live together, being in the Order. But I'm not complaining. In fact, I'm rather honored that Dumbledore hand-picked us to be in the Order."
"Why wouldn't he?" said Sirius pompously. "We are intelligent and respectable people, after all."
"Can you believe we're out of Hogwarts already?" commented Violet. "I mean, it seemed like yesterday we were all little first-years, ready to be sorted into our Houses."
"Yeah, time flies by so quickly."
"You know that Ellyn Bedson woman from the Ministry?" interrupted Violet, looking upset.
"Yes, the one who worked in the Department of Mysteries," affirmed Jennifer. "She's all right since she's helping me get started along with Bode, but she's a bit too condescending, so to speak."
"I don't like her," confirmed Violet. "She keeps flirting with Jackson at our breaks."
"Well, you keep flirting with Amos Diggory," said Arabella stiffly.
"I do not! He always hovers around me like a bee...it isn't my fault."
"True," admitted the former.
"Well, you can't stop that," added Y/n. "Just ignore Diggory, and maybe he'll leave you alone. Merlin knows he bothered Bella long enough before you."
"Hell, yeah," muttered Arabella under her breath.
"Why does he have to follow me around anyway?" ranted Violet furiously. "I mean, I'm no pageant queen, and I definitely don't have the kind of personality that Amos looks for in girls. So why me?"
"Maybe it was because of that comeback you made to him at Hogwarts," said James thoughtfully. "After all, one can never forget something so brilliant and embarrassing as that."
Violet blushed. "Oh, C'mon, it wasn't that great."
"It was too! Merlin, I wish I could've taken a picture of Diggory's face when you said that to him. It was bloody amazing! You should be like that more often, Vi."
"Hear, hear," intoned Jennifer enthusiastically. She was always one to call for a change of character in Violet.
"So, n/n, you've already got some of your wedding planned, right?" asked Arabella.
"Well...no," admitted Y/n, flushing. "We haven't had the time to think about it, actually, ever since the proposal."
"Oh, the proposal." She looked at Sirius dreamily. "It was so romantic. How did you and James manage to pull it off?"
James and Sirius both grinned, and winked at each other, and then at their respective fiancées.
"Simple, girls," said Sirius roguishly. "Well, at least, it was simple for me, but for others"—he looked at James meaningfully—"it took some practice."
Y/n laughed. "Don't tell me you were scared, James."
"Like hell," agreed James shamelessly. "Is it that surprising?"
"The almighty James Potter, scared? Merlin, the world may end any moment now. C'mon, you've bullied people nearly all your years at Hogwarts, and you were scared of asking one simple question?" She shook her head at him.
"Aww...give a guy a break here, Y/n. It isn't my fault that I get nervous doing these kinds of things."
"Which brings me to my next point. You never get nervous, James."
"I'm still human," retorted James indignantly. "Why do you make me sound like I'm some sort of god?"
"You are," Y/n pointed out. "Or, at least you were to the girls at Hogwarts. Were they upset when you proposed!"
"Furious," added Sirius, laughing. "They looked like they were about to kill you, Y/n. They were upset enough that James fell in love with you, and eventually got you, but to have your love official by marriage? Their worst nightmare, I say."
"You're not too off either, Padfoot," said Remus thoughtfully. "After all, the girls were always after you whenever you had some fight with Arabella, and didn't makeup soon enough."
"True, that I am a lady's man."
"What an egotist," mumbled Arabella, rolling her eyes. "I'm about to marry a man who only thinks for himself. At least your man deflated his head when you gave him a tough time, Y/n."
"You think he's deflated enough, Bells? I don't think so."
"You girls always undermine us fellows," said James, pouting. "We're good to you guys; why complain? At least we don't strut like Diggory or Mackenzie."
Sirius involuntarily shuddered at the latter name.
Y/n giggled and snuggled closer to her fiancé. They had reached the headquarters of the Order and now entered it. Marlene McKinnon, who had a whole family of kids at the Order, but was looking to get a place of her own, greeted them. Alice and Frank were playing chess near the fireplace, and Mad-Eye Moody was glaring at them suspiciously through his eyes. James had always thought that there was something creepy about them, though they were normal ones like any other human possessed.
"Potter, L/n, Dean, Black, Walker, Lupin," greeted Mad-Eye gruffly one by one, as he inclined his head slightly toward them.
"Hello, Mr. Moody," said Y/n softly. She both feared and admired the famous Auror.
"Alastor, girl, call me by my name. There shouldn't be any formalities in the Order. We're all a family."
Sirius grinned. "Well, that's good, because you guys can all be my surrogate one."
"Always the saucy one, aren't you, Black?" growled Moody. "Well, you're going to find a better family in the Order than your own, so feel right at home. However, you do know that the Order is very dangerous and that you're giving your life to this organization."
"Certainly, sir," said James loudly. "We want to help you fight Voldemort any way we can."
Moody twitched at the name. "Potter, will you stop using his name, damn it!"
James looked rather alarmed. "But the fear of his name—"
"—increases your fear of himself. Yes, I know, Dumbledore has told me that plenty of times. Seems as though you admire Dumbledore so much, Potter, that you have decided to start quoting him to your elders, eh?"
"I meant no disrespect, sir."
"Yeah, sure you didn't. L/n, you got the papers ready?"
"Right here, sir." Y/n produced a thick wad of paper from the paper folder that she was carrying. "Got the plans to his hideout and everything."
"Excellent, L/n. You've proved useful to us. Are you sure this is his real hideout, and not a bluff to throw us off? After all, You-Know-Who has spies on his side as well."
"I'm not sure of the true veracity of these blueprints, but I'm pretty sure they're partially real."
"You trust the spies who got this?"
"With all my heart."
"Good, good. I shall present this to Dumbledore himself, since this is very important information, and highly top secret. Where has Pettigrew and Bradley gone to?"
"Jackson's still at work," piped up Violet. "He hasn't enough time to do anything these days. And Peter's at a job interview."
"Pettigrew is absolutely useless," growled Moody. "The boy can hardly write his own name properly. Don't know what Dumbledore was thinking, having him in the Order. Bradley, though, he's very valuable to us. Don't want to lose him."
"Of course not," she affirmed readily.
"You wouldn't," Arabella pointed out, "because he's your boyfriend."
Violet turned red and rolled her eyes.
"Sir, is there any news of the latest attacks?" queried James worriedly. "Voldemort hasn't made a single attack for nearly a month. That's usually not like him. He causes chaos wherever he goes."
"Shrewd thinking, Potter. I was pondering on it myself. I think that You-Know-Who has something planned that's very large and will cost lives. If only we can infiltrate his lines and know what it is."
"You make it sound like this is a war," commented Sirius, laughing.
"This is no joking matter, Black. We are at war, boy, and would you stop laughing? This is serious, Black, and I don't find anything funny about it. People are getting killed, and you're laughing? Live up to your name, boy!"
"My n—oh!" Sirius laughed harder. "Ha, ha, be serious...live up to your name...ha, ha!"
"Padfoot, shut it," snapped James, rubbing his forehead ferociously. "Can't you be serious for once and stop making a joke out of everything? We are at war, like Mr.—Alastor said, and we need everyone's cooperation."
"Sorry." The dark-haired boy looked down at his feet. "I didn't mean it."
"Where's Longbottom at? Longbottom!" barked Moody.
"Yes?" came the voices of Frank and Alice.
The Auror groaned. "This is why I never like to have married couples mingle with us elders. They always have to share the same last name. Ah, I'll just call Alice 'Hart' instead, to make things easier. Longbottom, Frank!"
"Yes, Alastor?"
"Done with that paperwork?"
Frank closed his eyes and sighed. "Nearly finished. Just got a few more sentences, and it'll be ready."
"We've got these recruits for the Order," said Moody gruffly. "Kingsley Shacklebolt...he's going to be a sixth year this September...Emmeline Vance..."
"Emmeline?" interrupted Y/n, her eyes widening. "The fifth year, soon-to-be-sixth-year, Emmeline?"
"Correct, L/n."
"But she's—" She struggled for the words. "A bit ditzy, so to speak."
"Is she? Well, she is from a very respectable family, and from what I've heard, she's one of the top choices for Head Girl. Also, the teachers have all praised her well for her abilities, except for Hurst, the idiot."
James snorted loudly at the last comment, and Y/n sent him a glare, causing him to cough and snigger more quietly.
"Can you consider my cousin?" asked Sirius eagerly.
"Who's your cousin, Black?"
"Nymphadora Tonks, sir. She's only about four years old, but she's a Metamorphmagus."
"Is that so? Well, then, I'll have to mention that to Dumbledore next time. Metamorphmagi are extremely rare, and they would certainly be useful to the Order. Good thinking, Black."
Sirius grinned and gave a mock salute. "Thank you, Alastor."
"Lupin! Full moon coming up?"
Remus looked rather alarmed at being spoken to. "Er—in a couple of weeks, sir."
"I'm assuming you will not hurt any of our members?"
"No promises sir, but I will try."
"Good." And so the dull afternoon continued, with Moody questioning and deprecating them about Order business.
Jennifer sobbed wildly, wiping her eyes. Remus had just broken up with her. It wouldn't have mattered to her as much if he had given her a substantial reason, but he hadn't said anything coherent that answered her question about why he broke up with her. Y/n, Arabella, and Violet were trying to comfort her.
"Look, Jen, I think the boys might know something about this. Let's go ask them."
And so they went to the room that James and Sirius shared, and knocked on the door.
"Who is it?" came Sirius' voice.
"It's us, you stupid prat," called Arabella impatiently. "Let us in!"
"Gee, no need to yell, Bellsies."
Sirius opened the door, and ushered them inside.
"Do you know why Remus broke up with Jennifer?"
"He's scared," said James quietly. "He's afraid that if they stay together, and get married, Jennifer won't be happy because of his—condition."
"You mean you knew, and never told us?" demanded Y/n furiously. "James Potter, I would have expected better of you!"
"Remus told me not to tell!" exclaimed James wildly. "It wasn't my fault...and I wasn't sure if he was actually going to do it or not. Trust me, he still loves Jennifer, but thinks it's the best for her."
"The best for me?" Jennifer sniffed again. "Why the hell would he think that? He knows I love him, and that I would never leave him. We didn't have to get married, but why did he have to break up with me?"
"I never knew Remus was such an idiot," mumbled Arabella. "How could he do such a thing?"
"Now what?" muttered Sirius to his best friend.
James shrugged. "Jen, Remus wanted me to tell you that you should move on. You know, find another guy who would always be there for you."
"You mean Remus would never be there for me?"
"It's because of his transformations. He thinks that it would be a burden for you to have him disappear every month and get all cranky when the full moon approaches. He wants you to have a guy who can always be there for you, and will always treat you right."
"I love him," said Jennifer firmly, "and I'll never move on and find a new guy, because he'll always be in my heart, no matter what."
James shook his head. "Moony made a bad choice, Padfoot."
Sirius snorted. "You think? Our dear friend needs to sort out his priorities. Maybe he should ask Jennifer out again, and they should start all over."
"What seems to be the problem here?"
The six of them all turned around, alarmed, to see Professor Albus Dumbledore himself standing there before them, his blue eyes twinkling as usual.
"Professor!" James nearly shouted, and grinned innocently. "We were—er—"
"Laughing at Sirius' joke," continued Violet hastily. "We hope we didn't miss any Order meetings, sir."
"Not at all, Ms. Walker. In fact, I was going to find you all and tell you to enjoy yourselves. Don't get too caught up in the Order business here. You, young people, need to enjoy yourselves while you can before it's too late. Mr. Potter, you are not even twenty yet, and you're working harder than Alastor these days."
"I am?" James looked at his old headmaster in astonishment. "I don't think I'm working too hard; I mean, we're just looking over Voldemort's possible hideouts and his Death Eaters. Of course, there's always the wedding, but we can put that aside for now if it helps."
"No, no, James, I want you to go on with your wedding plans," said Dumbledore earnestly. "You and Y/n shall be married, and I will not be the one to stop you two from being in love."
"Of course we shall," agreed Y/n, a bit startled at the headmaster using her given name instead of her surname.
"Excellent." Dumbledore clapped his hands together. "Now, I must be off to assist Alastor in his findings—I will see you at our meeting tonight."
"Yes, Professor."
"Do call me Albus. After all, I'm not your headmaster any longer." He winked and Disapparated from the spot.
"That was certainly interesting," commented Sirius.
Jennifer laughed, and for one second, she had forgotten all about her break-up with Remus and chatted along with the rest of the group. After all, there were other things that would break her heart even more, and the Order needed her. She didn't have time to wallow in self-pity because her long-time boyfriend broke up with her for a trivial reason.
Y/n smiled at her friend. She was angry at Remus for breaking off his relationship with Jennifer but seeing her laugh again made her anger lessen slightly. Laughter was something that Y/n had a feeling wouldn't exist for very long in their world.
James sighed, and looked up at the ceiling. It was a brand-new house, newly built and freshly painted. The paint was snow-white, and it gave the Order headquarters a sort of elegance to it. His stomach tightened when he thought of the Order of the Phoenix. Shortly after their graduation, Dumbledore had come up to them and asked them to be a part of a group that he had created to defeat Voldemort. They, of course, had agreed at once and signed their oaths to the group. However, James felt a foreboding feeling inside of him that perhaps it was the wrong decision. After all, being in the Order was a dangerous risk. He would be putting his whole family in danger since his parents weren't part of the Order—they were too busy with their full-time Auror lives.
He suddenly grabbed Y/n's hand by impulse and squeezed it tightly. His thoughtful hazel eyes locked with her brilliant, almond-shaped e/c ones, and he nodded slowly. Y/n was one of the main reasons why he even bothered joining the Order. She was his life, and he had wanted her for so long now. James needed to protect her, and the children that they would have together later on.
"What's wrong, James?" whispered Y/n, her eyes widening with surprise.
"I don't want you to get hurt," he said gently and brushed his hand against her cheek. He felt small shivers escape her body.
"What are you talking about?"
"The Order. I'm putting so many of you in danger by joining, especially since Voldemort wants me to join him."
"He's given up on trying to make you do that, James. We're too close to Albus for him to try anything on us again."
"You never know what Voldemort might do, Y/n. Even though I hate him with all my heart, he is a genius. You know what Albus told us about his younger days. He used to be a prefect and Head Boy, and his name was Tom Riddle. Albus said he was one of the most brilliant students Hogwarts has ever seen. However, he had sunk too deeply into the Dark Arts, and now look who he has become."
"There has to be a reason for Voldemort to want to kill so many of us besides the fact that he wants control of the world."
"There is none besides that. He wants to get rid of any magical people who aren't purebloods, and then have the purebloods take over the world with him. If we don't stop him, Y/n, this world is going to be a dark world."
"We'll stop him, James," said Y/n firmly and resolutely, squeezing her fiancé's hand tighter. "We'll stop him, no matter how much it takes."
"Hey, you two lovebirds coming?" Sirius grinned at his best friends. "Arabella and I are going to Hogsmeade for a bit. You coming?"
"What about Jennifer and Violet?"
"We're not going," said Jennifer quickly. "Vi wants to spend the day at Jackson's house, and I want some time alone."
Y/n nodded, understanding. "Sure, Sirius, we'll go."
"Great! Let's go, then."
The two couples Apparated right in front of Honeydukes, where crowds of students were busily chatting or shopping. It felt good to feel some of Hogwarts again through the students, and they were about to go to the Three Broomsticks for a butterbeer, since it was a chilly day in November, when someone called their name.
"Y/N!"
Y/n turned around to see Emmeline waving energetically, in her little group of friends, the younger girl extremely excited.
"Oh, hello, Emmeline," she greeted cordially.
"Ooh, Hogwarts is so lonely without you guys!" she gushed effusively. "It's so dull without the Marauders spicing it up with some of their pranks."
"So we have made our mark, have we?" Sirius looked very pleased.
"Definitely. The Head Boy's really dull this year, and the Head Girl is even worse. I wish you guys were the Heads again...that was the best year!"
"How's your sixth year?"
"Busy. I'm still a prefect again, but I don't have as many responsibilities as last year. When's your wedding going to be, Y/n?"
Before Y/n could have time to reply, a tall and very good-looking girl who looked to be either a sixth or seventh year gasped and giggled along with her friends, pointing at James and Sirius.
"Look, it's two of the ringleaders of the Marauders!" exclaimed one of them, laughing. "James Potter and Sirius Black!"
"James! Sirius!" The tall girl waved and smiled seductively, walking over to them.
"Er—hello. Do we know you?" James furrowed his brow.
"Oh, I'm Alex Opalisk," she said off-handedly.
James suddenly recognized her as one of the lovesick fan girls who always followed him around at Hogwarts. She was a seventh year Gryffindor, though Merlin only knew how she got into it instead of Hufflepuff.
"Oh, I remember you," he said absent-mindedly. "Er—nice to see you again, Alex."
She gasped, her eyes dancing. "Oh, you remember me, James Potter? How splendid! But you already have a girlfriend." She looked disdainfully over at Y/n.
"My fiancée," he elaborated, nodding. "We're getting married next April."
Alex's face fell, and her hand flew conspicuously to her hair, which was done in a fashionable twist, making it look elegant. "Oh, that's wonderful!" she said in an affected voice.
"Yes, isn't it?" said Y/n, gritting her teeth. "Now, if you excuse us—"
"Don't be rude to the Head Girl, L/n," said Alex coolly.
"You're Head Girl?" said Arabella, who had been quiet most of the time, incredulously. "Who would pick you?"
Sirius coughed, hiding a grin.
"Dumbledore, certainly," said Alex, tossing her head in a huffy manner. "I do think I deserve the position, Figg."
"Oh, I'm honored you know my name, Randall. However, I would watch your mouth. We are respected people, and very close to Dumbledore. So if you step out of line, we will be sure to let Albus know at once."
"I don't think you have that sort of authority over us," said Yvonne Lorencia, one of Alex's friends. "After all, we are technically legal adults, since we have our Apparition licenses and everything."
"Agreed," intoned Alex, nodding virtuously.
"True, but these are dark times, and Albus trusts us with his heart," said Sirius. "He will dismiss any student unworthy of his or her positions as prefect or Head Boy and Girl."
"I don't think you should talk to them that way," put in Emmeline, while her friends agreed readily. "After all, James and Y/n are Aurors-in-training, and Arabella and Sirius work for the Ministry. They are very close to Professor Dumbledore, and you should respect them. They are, after all, more adults than you, Alex."
"Don't talk to me like that, you stupid Mudblood," snapped Alex loftily.
"I shall speak to Professor Dumbledore of your crude language, Ms. Randall," said Y/n, raising an eyebrow.
"It's just 'Mudblood'; I don't see the big deal."
"Certainly you might not, but it is using bad language."
"You're just saying that 'cause you're a Mudblood, too."
James flew up in rage. "Did you call my girl a—a—you-know-what, Randall?" he roared, causing several of the student body to stare.
"What, the great James Potter not able to say a word like 'Mudblood'?"
Regulus and his friends, who happened to be standing nearby, laughed when hearing this. "Go, Alex!" Regulus cried, clapping. "Go out with me?"
Alex smiled, revealing little gleaming white teeth. "Oh, but Regulus darling, I'm a Gryffindor and you're a Slytherin. We don't mix well at all."
"Who cares about that. You with me?"
"Of course." She grinned, dreaming of the handsome Black.
Sirius groaned conspicuously. He had hoped everyone would hate Regulus and that he would end up single forever, but for some unknown reason, many of the girls chased after him like fox and hound.
"What's the matter, big brother?" Regulus smirked. "Jealous that I have a date with a pretty girl, and you have a less-prettier fiancée?"
"Ha! Yeah, right, Reg. Actually, I was wondering how you could even get a girl to agree to be your date to Hogsmeade. Amazing, really, how someone like you can attract girls at all."
James bit his lip to keep himself from laughing. He always did enjoy the bickers between his best friend and the little brother of the latter; they were always quite amusing and entertaining to watch.
Regulus rolled his eyes. "Nice comeback, Sirius, really. However, I really would not be talking. You have some dirt for a girlfriend there yourself."
"That's it! I've had more than enough patience for you than you really deserve, Regulus, but you've gone way too far this time. Arabella is not dirt, and she is certainly better than the girls that you go out with. So I'd watch your tongue next time, Regulus, or there will be trouble. C'mon guys, let's get out of here and get a butterbeer at the Three Broomsticks. You come too, Emmeline, and bring your friends along as well."
"Oh, sorry, Sirius, I can't," apologized Emmeline, looking disappointed. "I have to get back to Hogwarts soon and start on my homework. We have so much this year!"
"That's too bad," said Y/n sympathetically, as she and Arabella took turns hugging the young girl. "Hopefully we'll see you again."
"Yes, hopefully. You will visit, won't you?" Emmeline looked eagerly at the adults.
"Of course," piped up Arabella, smiling.
"Hey, girls, we know good-byes are painful, but I really am cold," said James through chattering teeth.
"Yes, yes. Well, bye, Emmeline!"
They entered the Three Broomsticks and sat at the nearest empty table. Madam Rosmerta gasped when she saw the foursome and clasped her hands eagerly.
"Why, if it isn't the infamous James Potter and Sirius Black!" She smiled. "And who are you lovely young ladies?"
"You remember Y/n L/n and Arabella Figg, don't you, Madam Rosmerta?" James gave a casual wave to the girls. "They're our fiancées."
"Fiancées?" Madam Rosmerta raised an eyebrow. "You've actually settled down with girls? I don't believe it! I think that you are fooling me here, boys and that these poor girls are mere flings."
Arabella laughed. "Oh, no, Madam Rosmerta, we're their girlfriends, unfortunately, of course. But we, Y/n and I, fell for their charm like every other girl at Hogwarts eventually, though they did have a tough time getting to us." She winked at Sirius.
"Stop it, Bella." Sirius nodded in assent to his girlfriend's statement.
"Why, if that doesn't beat it all—James Potter and Sirius Black coming back to my shop with girls and a steady relationship. Things sure have changed."
"Surely we weren't that bad, my dear Rosmerta," said James smoothly. "After all, Sirius has been with Arabella since first year, miraculously. Of course, they've had their good and bad moments—"
"A complete understatement," interrupted Y/n, rolling her eyes.
"—but they still make a good couple anyway," he finished, raising an eyebrow at his fiancée questioningly. Y/n stuck out her tongue in response.
"How did you manage to pull off a proposal without ruining it?" Madam Rosmerta looked truly amazed at the changes James and Sirius had gone through.
"Oh, it took some time, at least for James, but we pulled it off eventually," replied Sirius.
"You two have changed so much since I last saw you here."
"Well, with us being adults and Voldemort on the rise, we needed to grow up, I suppose."
The pub had gone completely silent after Sirius' remark. Whispers were exchanged among the magic folk, and they looked fearfully at Sirius, and then around the pub as if waiting for Voldemort to appear all of a sudden into the shop. Madam Rosmerta had dropped the large glass of butterbeer that she was about to hand over to a tottering old woman, and the liquid spilled over her lavish magenta robes.
"You said You-Know-Who's name!" exclaimed one young wizard, not much older than them, in barely a whisper.
"Yeah, Voldemort," said Sirius casually, shrugging. The wizard gave another shudder. "So what? It's just a name."
"Yes, but he might hear you and come any second."
"Don't give me that crap, Mr.—what's your name?"
"Jason Wood...hey! I know you from somewhere."
"Wood?" Sirius looked at James, and then back at the wizard in surprise. "Jason Wood, ex-captain of the Gryffindor Quidditch Team?"
"Yes, that's me, and you're—by golly! Cassia, look." He nudged the petite, pretty little woman next to him. "It's Potter and Black, our old teammates."
The small brunette looked startled and then began to smile, her creamy face lighting up with delight.
"James Potter and Sirius Black. Well, well, we haven't seen you for quite a while yet. And what's this? Finally snagged Y/n L/n, now, have you, Potter?"
James nodded and brought Y/n closer to him. "You bet, Wood. You and Cassia married?"
"Nah. I've yet to propose to her, eh? No, we're still boyfriend and girlfriend, though."
"It's great," said Cassia in a bit of a strained voice. "We don't need to be married...staying like this is good enough for me."
Y/n nodded politely. "We're engaged. So are Sirius and Arabella."
Wood set down his butterbeer with a clink. "Well, how about that? I would have never expected Potter and Black to be almost-married men. Congratulations."
James, Sirius, and Wood then started to discuss Quidditch, while the three girls discussed their wedding plans.
"You must come to mine, Cassia," said Y/n eagerly. "I'll have you as one of my bridesmaids."
"I couldn't," said Cassia, shaking her head, laughing. "I'm not worthy of such a thing, Y/n. Please, don't invite me. I'll only burst into a pathetic flood of tears anyway when the actual wedding takes place."
"What does that matter? Bella will probably cry, too."
"I second to that," intoned Arabella emphatically.
"Y/n, don't you understand? I can't!"
"Why not?"
"I think"—she cast a furtive glance to the men—"that we should discuss this in the bathroom. Guys, we have to—er—fix our make-up in the bathroom. We'll be back in a jiffy, all right?"
"Yeah, sure." Wood waved an impatient arm around, too absorbed in James' rich-detailed account of the last Quidditch game between England and Czechoslovakia.
Cassia dragged the other two younger women to the bathroom, shut the door, and burst into tears. Y/n and Arabella exchanged looks of perplexity but did not say anything at first.
"Oh, Y/n, Bella! I can't stand this any longer. I want to marry Jason, but he just won't propose. He's too in love with Quidditch to care about marriage with me and says that he's perfectly content with just having a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship instead of an intimate marriage. I really want us to get married and have children, and raise them to be respectable and clever. But how can I?"
"How do you know that Jason doesn't want marriage?" asked Y/n.
"Isn't it obvious? He says it all the time."
"Perhaps he says it all the time, but it may not be true, Cass. Men are unpredictable and whimsical like that; they say things they don't mean. I know it's really stupid, but that's how they've always been, and you should know that by now. Maybe Jason thinks that you don't want marriage either, so he's just saying that he doesn't want it to please you and make you happy."
"That's ridiculous. How can he think that? He knows I love him, and couples in love always go the next level by getting married."
"Yeah, but your Quidditch-obsessed boyfriend is different, like James and Sirius. They care too much about us that they're hurting us instead of benefiting us."
"How do you know all this?" Cassia looked at Y/n in awe. "You haven't been in a relationship nearly as long as I, and you know more about this than I do."
Y/n shrugged. "It's probably because I've known James practically all my life, and I've sort of studied and understood him, like a book. It's not that hard once you get used to it. After all, James is the perfect example of an unconventional man, and I understand how his brain works. That's why I know what I'm talking about because Jason is out of the ordinary as well."
Cassia looked thoughtful for a moment and then crushed Y/n in a tight hug. "Thanks, Y/n. You're the greatest. But what should I do now?"
"Talk to him, of course," put in Arabella sensibly. "That's the only way you'll get things out of men...you got to be the first ones to bring up the subject. Don't think they'll be the first ones to bring it, because they definitely won't be. They're slow that way."
"And I'm guessing you know this because of Sirius."
"'Course. With Sirius as a fiancé, well, life gets a little more interesting than usual, huh?"
Cassia laughed and dried her remaining tears. "Thanks, the both of you. You two have really helped. I'll talk to Jay tonight."
"You'd better, and tell us what he says about it."
"Definitely."
When the three girls came out, the guys were already waiting for them by the entrance, still discussing Quidditch.
"You guys still at that stupid game?" Cassia rolled her eyes.
"You were the Beater at Hogwarts with me, and now you don't care about Quidditch?" Sirius asked in mock-horror. "Dear Merlin, what's happened?"
"Maybe it's the whole being an adult thing that's changed me." She shrugged. "Ready, Jay? Oh, and when we get back to our flat, I have to talk to you about something."
"Sure." Wood shrugged and they both Disapparated.
"You girls ready?" James looked questioningly at them.
"Yeah. Just give us a second."
Arabella turned to her best friend and smiled. "Think we have enough experience about life, n/n?"
"Perhaps not all of it, but we sure got enough to brighten hearts around us. Merlin knows we need more happy souls around here these days. There are barely any of them at all."
And what Y/n said was absolutely true, especially since their world would soon turn colder.
"There's been a Hogsmeade attack."
Those words kept ringing in everyone's minds as they prepared to Apparate to Hogsmeade, where many students were attacked. There were many casualties and a few deaths.
Y/n clutched James' hand all the way there, and even when they arrived at the scene of the crime. Her heart turned cold when she thought of all her younger friends, especially Emmeline, and the chances of them being either injured or dead.
"James, I'm so scared," she whispered, hugging his arm.
"I know, Y/n." James kissed her passionately. "Don't worry. I'm sure it's going to be fine."
"It won't be," said Y/n quietly, so that even he couldn't hear. "Nothing's been fine for a long time."
When they arrived at the scene, Y/n involuntarily shivered. It was terrible. Shops and places were all in ruin, broken into and destroyed by Death Eaters no doubt, and it was completely chaotic, with Healers and teachers scurrying about in a disorderly fashion. There were screams and groans coming from everywhere, and upon the ground, there were dead corpses. The worst of it was, they weren't all completely discomposed to broken bones and flagged skin. No, instead they were just dead bodies of students, still quite healthy-looking, and each student lying eagle-spread on the ground had an expression of terror and astonishment upon their faces. It was sickening, and the eight of them cringed at the sight.
"That's perfectly horrible," whispered Peter, wiping his eyes from the stinging cold.
"Awful," acceded Sirius, his arm tightening around Arabella.
"C'mon, no use standing here," said Moody gruffly, as he tottered near to where Professor Dumbledore was, talking gravely to Professors McGonagall and Flitwick. "May as well be of some use, hey?"
"You're right, Alastor," said Jennifer firmly. "Let's see what Albus and Minerva have to say about all this."
They approached the two professors, who looked over at the eight adults and nodded in greeting.
"Hello, Misses L/n, Figg, Dean, and Walker. Messrs. Potter, Black, Lupin, and Pettigrew, hello to you, too."
"Professor, is it bad?" inquired Y/n anxiously.
"It may not be as bad as you imagined, Ms. L/n, but yes, it is considered bad. Not as bad as some of the attacks, but I think you may want to see some of the victims."
Professor McGonagall led Y/n and the others to where the injured or dead were, and Y/n gasped. There were many students that she didn't recognize, who were probably much younger than she, but there were two that she knew within a second. One, who lay groaning, was Kenneth Hughes, who had been Emmeline's boyfriend. Another was Laura Smith, but instead of groaning, she lay still. Too still. To add to it, she didn't move or budge at all.
"Professor," gasped Violet from Y/n's left side. "Laura isn't—she isn't—"
"I'm afraid so, Ms. Walker. Ms. Smith is indeed dead."
"That can't be," said Y/n dully. "No...Laura, she can't be dead!"
Suddenly, the truth of the statement struck her. Sweet Laura, who had been so shy at first, but then opened up to Y/n, was dead, and never to come back to life again. The Dark Side had killed her: the Death Eaters and Voldemort. Y/n had promised to visit Laura, but she hadn't seen her since graduation. She wouldn't know if Laura had passed her O.W.L.s, or if she had gotten a boyfriend! No, she would never know these things, because Laura was dead. She had been killed in the attack.
"Y/n?" James whispered. "Are you all right?"
Y/n nodded slowly, burying her head in his shoulder. "Oh, James, it's horrible! Laura dead and Kenneth hurt, as well as many other children who are so small. Look at that little girl over there. She looks to be about a first or second year, and she's dead. James, will our world ever be the same?"
"I don't think so, Y/n, but we'll try our best to pull together, and live through this. If we don't, then we know that the future generations will destroy Voldemort forever, and destroy all evil, if that's ever possible. For now, let's just concentrate on our present, instead of the future. I don't know when this will ever end, but whatever happens, I'll stick with you forever and never leave you. I love you, Y/n."
Tears sprang to her eyes, as she hugged him. "I love you, too."
James' eyes went over to the outcome of the attack, and suddenly his hand brushed against his eyes. No, he would stay strong like a man, and not cry. He had gotten the conception that only girls cried, and he would stick with that thought in mind. No, he would never cry, but somehow, the tears came out, and he wasn't ashamed of them. The mere feeling of Y/n's small body upon his gave him pleasure and hope for the future.
He understood why Y/n felt so passionate about the attack. He knew and liked Laura very well, and of course, he and Kenneth were good friends. He started at the thought of his young friend dying from his injuries. No, James wouldn't think of these things. It wouldn't happen...at least, that's what he hoped.
The world was turning upside down, to put it eloquently, and James knew it. However, he meant what he said to Y/n, and that he would always love her and stick with her. After all, he couldn't just leave her after two years of chasing after the h/c, now, could he?
Y/n looked over at her fiancé and saw him deep in thought. She smiled inwardly at having been part of the reason James was so mature and serious now and kissed him lightly. He was so handsome, standing there with his long arms around her small waist. His naturally untidy black hair was ruffled as usual, and his hazel eyes were mixed with a look of concentration and gravity. Y/n loved his eyes more than anything else about him did. Those eyes resembled everything that Y/n loved about him. He always had a look to them as well. Usually, it was a mischievous glint in those light brown eyes, but his eyes always matched the mood of the situation. Now, his hazel eyes had an appropriate seriousness to it.
James noticed Y/n looking at him, and grinned. It was the largest and first grin that he did in days, and it considerably brightened the situation slightly, since everyone else smiled slightly, seeing him do the same. Perhaps they would have a better future where there was no Voldemort, but for now, they were in the present and would have to deal with it, no matter what. However, James was optimistic, and knew, one day, Voldemort and evil itself would be defeated.
tags; @theredheadedwinchester
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sephhaa · 3 years
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War of Universes
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*Cover photo not mine!
Pairing: Keith/Lance | Klance | Pidge/Allura | Pallura (This is a split ship fic so lots of Pallura and Klance content) | Side ships: Hunk/Shay | Shiro/Curtis/Adam 
Tags: Royal AU | Queen Allura | Emperor Alfor | Prince Lance | Advisor Coran | Kingdom Altea | Sigil: Weblum | Rulers of the Universe | King Zarkon | Witch Haggar | Prince Lotor | Bastard Keith | Kingdom Daibazzaal | Sigil: Quintessential Flames/Purple Flames | Pidge Holt/Kathleen Holt | She/Her/They/Them Pronouns |  Prince Matthew Holt | King Samuel Holt | Queen Colleen Holt | Grandmother Ryner/Ruler Grandmother | Kingdom Olkarion | Sigil: Sphere | King Rax | Princess Shay | Queen Grandmother Shelia | Kingdom Balmera | Sigil: Balmeran Crystal | Queen Luxia | Princess Plaxum | Prince Swirn | Prince Blumfump | Kingdom Perenniala | Sigil: Perenniala Dahlia |  Assassin Hunk | Kingdom Fados | Peace-makers | Judges | Explorers | Sigil: An Eye | King Bi-Boh-Bi | OC characters —> | Queen ii | Princess Zee | Prince Boh III | Prince Eem | Sigil: Sound Waves | Rebellion group: The Blade of Marmora | Kingdom Fados houses outcasts that become space explorers | Kingdom Fados is also the national bank | 7 kingdoms | Arrange marriages | Game of Thrones inspired | Bad blood between kingdoms | Banners/Bannermen | OC Characters | Allura & Lance are siblings | Weblums are a huge arc in this so buckle up! | Coran being an Uncle | Ryner is the mfuckin’ MVP | The Blades loyalties aren’t what you think lollll | Assassin Hunk—assassin Hunk | I REPEAT ASSASSIN HUNK!! | Adventure | Fantasy | Action | Mystery/Thriller | Gore | Violence | Explicit Content | Visions | Lots of sayings according to specific kingdoms | Outcasts | A long war ahead | Merfolk | Elemental Mages | Don’t fuck with kingdom Perenniala | Magic | Armies | Battles | Duels | Weapons of Flames | Alchemy | Engineering | Blacksmithing | Beasts | Smut | Fluff (what little of it lolll) | Slow-Burn | Comedic relief at some points | This is completely self-indulgent | Y’all just here for my selfishness | I purely wrote this for me LOL | That and I don’t see enough royal AUs | Happy reading! | 
Summary: 10,000 years ago they speak of the great destruction of Weblums that destroyed every planet in its path. The bloodthirsty creatures formed a cold war, empty and dirtied with exploded planets. Until Emperor Alfor rose to stop the war. The stories whispered, murmured, taught—speak of the great Emperor Alfor climbing the back of a Weblum, seizing its horns to rein through the planets—the only man alive able to control the beasts around him. With his control, he pledged to form a new nation with kingdoms joined as his alliances. All except for planet Daibazaal; who rebelled—and paid the price for it.
Now, 10,000 years into the present, the alliance between Kingdom Daibazaal and Kingdom Altea calls to the promise formed years ago. To ensure that both planets don’t betray one another and keep the peace between all kingdoms—both parties must wed their children to seal the promise.
But what happens when the Emperor falls? When enemies hide in every corner—waiting—seeking—for the chance to strike.It calls for the change of roles, for friends of the crown to prove themselves again to their loyalties and call to action that the peace will be reinstated again.
“I will be your just Queen,” Her voice is steady, determined in its honest nature; a crown weighs heavy, it drapes cool against the warmth of her head.“Allura Altea, first of her name, Queen of the spaces before us, the remnants of planets eaten and forgiven, of the seas of Perenniala, and the skies of Balmera, reiner of Olkari, an eye of peace judged in the courts of Fados, forgery in flames of Kral Zera, and the waves of Bii—Queen Allura, of the 7 kingdoms—Long may she reign.” The silence is still and tense, the knowledge that this is truly reality, that this is not a dream nor nightmare settles still in her bones. Then, with a single shift of armor, of a king's guard kneeling before her, the rest follow.
“Long may she reign.” A low murmur that becomes louder.
“Long may she reign.”
a/n: Ahhhh!!! Here I am again to publish yet another fic that I did NOT think would be published. I thank my beta @phiixomathh​ for indulging in my ideas and helping with the title/details of this entire story! Seriously—this story would have never been published if she didn't sit through my rantings and visions of a royal AU, bouncing ideas off of each other lmaooo. I can't wait when she starts to publish her own works and y'all will be graced with her amazing writing very soon!! 
FAIR WARNING: this WILL have slow updates. This is a completely self-indulgent fic. I wrote it because the inspiration came to me and I kept thinking about writing a royal AU. That being said, if you beg for updates—its likely that I will ignore those comments. I can guarantee that I'd finish this work—I see this actually becoming a series. But this fic is on the back burner until I finish the two fics I've already started(one of them destined to be published soon) I'm determined to finish those first. Until then I'm NOT going to push myself to publish chapters. But if you have learned anything from my previous works—I always finish them. So don't worry about that.
Is this inspired by Game of Thrones? Yes. Does it share similar concepts? Yes. Did I spend an unhealthy amount of times thinking about Bastard Keith and Atlantan prince Lance? Absol-fucking-lutely. That and an ungodly amount of time thinking about Allura and Pidge from two different kingdoms and their growing relationship because I love strong women but even more a nonbinary queen with a literal queen? Fuck yes. (They were actually the first inspiration for this fic—the only time Klance does not bombard my mind when fitting fic concepts in my drafts.) I’m also living for assassin Hunk—I am a Hunk enthusiast. That man—IS ATTRACTIVE ASF. At least, how I envision 20 something year old Hunk in my mind is fine asf. Anyways—happy reading!
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U ask ut/us skelebros to come home earlier than usual. As they come home, u suggest to go to grillby's/muffet's & go there & do usual stuff. Then suddenly u rise out of ur chair & go to stage. U grab a mic & signal for the music. U begin to sing How Does a Moment Last Forever by Céline Dion. U never stray ur eyes from skeles while singing. After song's over, u kneel in front of them & present the ring, proposing for marriage. "I'll be honored to have u as my mate for eternity". How skeles react?
{ Wow, this is very romantic~ 
Maybe you should read it while you are listening to the song~! }
🔷 Sansy 🔷
For Sans, leaving the job earlier was not a problem since he did not trulydo his job; it was as if he was losing his hours. Better spending time with youthan doing nothing, anyway.
When you suggested to him that you would like going to Grillby’s, heaccepted without any hesitation. Any excuse for procrastinating! Then, it washis favourite place so he could not deny it.
The evening has gone tranquil and peaceful since the two of you conversedabout your days and Papyrus, you knew how much Sans loved talking about hisbrother so you often included Papyrus in the conversation and Sans’ eyes could not help but shining forthe contentment.
You were still cheerful, offering also the dinner to him even if it wasnot necessary, and it was too much for him. Sans wanted to be useful for onetime in the history, but you insisted so you smiled paying the bill. Then, yousaid to Sans to wait a moment because you had something to show him. Sans didnot have any idea, he scrolled his shoulders nodding at you. You were walkingtowards the stage. He knew you were a grand singer so he was not surprised youwanted to exhibit showing everyone how brilliant you were.
Actually, he got his head all up in the clouds, because your voicealways transmitted to him a sentiment of peace and serenity. The song you weresinging was so charming. He did not realize you were staring at him during yourperformance, because his eyes were closed so he could taste better the moment. Whenyou finished, all the audience was applauding and screaming your name becauseyou were so great. Your show has not already ended, because the best moment wasgoing to happen. After the crowd has been silenced, you called for your lover’sattention and Sans came back in the real world, confused. Everyone stared athim, and then at you. When you exposed the ring, you could hear the public’svoices saying “Oh”, and other enthusiastic screams. Sans could not believewhat he was watching. You got down from the stage reaching for him, holding his hand. He was still shocked. Then, you remembered him how much you loved himand you wanted to spend the rest of your lifetime with him until death do youapart. Everyone gave a standing ovation to you while Sans seemed the only onewho did not embrace the concept. His bonechecks were bluer than the ocean, andhis eyes were wet. You devastated him. His soul was blushing like him, happily.Then, you kissed him and he found more confidence saying he loved you so muchand he desired spending all his life and everything would come after with you. Youcould hear other glorious yells of congratulations from the people around thegreat hall.
💛 Pappy 💛
This day has been full of joy for the two of you.
Every day with Papyrus was special and you felt like you lived inParadise. He was your Heaven.
You have contemplated this decision for months, trying to organize thisevent in the better way for him, but everything seemed worthless compared tohis greatness. He deserved so much and you were not sure if you could be thatmuch for him, even if Papyrus always proclaimed he loved you with all his souland he would have loved you for the rest of the eternity and over more.
You had in mind a special date for Papyrus you organized for thisnight, you suggested going to Grillby’s to have dinner since you did not knowother places in the Underground and you appreciated its ambient. You asked afavour to Papyrus, if he could come back home earlier than usual only for thistime. He did not like not complying his duty at 100% so he was reluctant but atthe end, he accepted since it was you and he could do an exception for once.
You and Papyrus arrived to Grillby’s having a good dinner, even ifPapyrus was not a fan of this place like his brother but it was your date’sidea and he was not going to complain. For him, the most important thing wasyou, spending time with his mate. After sometime you had the right inspirationto sing a song, you were waiting for this moment impatiently. Papyrus was one ofyour biggest fans and he loved so much your voice, the way you sang. Everythingof your being. He did not move his eyes from you neither for a second; he wasenchanted and captured by your performance. Then, when you declared your loveto him, he stood up running to you and screaming how much he adored you. Hehugged you making you twirling in the air. The crowd went wild applauding you,while you were proposing him to marry you, showing the ring. Papyrus screamedfull of joy, saying yes. He started to cry over emotional. Papyrus could notbelieve his dream was becoming reality. That was the most beautiful gift youcould have ever donated to him. Nothing could have been more fantastic thanthis. Then, the two of you kissed each other doing the promise of eternal love.
💙 Blueberry 💙
For convincing Sans to take a day off you have said to him that you got a surprise for him. You knew he was such a curious skeleton so he thought about it all the day until he decided to come back home earlier and see your surprise. He could not wait any longer!
Sans wore the most suitable and elegant suit he got and then, when you proposed Muffet’s as date’s place he was a little disappointed but it was your surprise so he could accept it. Every place appears lovely and beautiful when you are with the person you love, he thought.
The dinner has been more delicious than Sans could have ever imagined, he was truly happy and thankful for this date, but you said it was not the end because the surprise has not already been showed. His eyes lighted up like blue flares.  You were going to reach the stage because you felt in the mood to sing a song, when Sans decided to follow you because he wanted to sing with you and do a duet! It was impossible for you denying his offer so Sans and you sang together and everyone in the hall was enchanted from your performance, they have never seen a couple more beautiful than you. They applauded and you thanked Sans saying you had something so important to confess to him. He was impatience to hear everything you were going to declare. You spoke to the microphone so everyone was able to listen your monologue. You were telling how Sans brought light in your awful life because before you met him, you were a dull person without any ambition and dream. He taught to you how to dream and hope, showing what true life and love were. You found yourself again. His eyes were still misty, then, when you asked for his hand, that you wanted to marry him, the little skeleton started to cry tears of joy. Everyone in the restaurant was touched. Sans hugged you saying he would have been honoured and happy to spend his life with you because he has never loved anyone the same way he loved you. You cried with him, smiling for the happiness.
🔶 Stretch 🔶
Papyrus has forgotten his job today. His alarm did not work, this was hisusual excuse even if he was a heavy sleeper who could sleep during a nuclear war,if someone would have exploded a bomb beside his ears, he would have kept sleepingas if nothing happened. Your surprise, when you saw him lazing on the couch, wasnot logical. You should have known your idle skeleton. You tried to wake him upbut it was a hard job, the only answer you got from him was a bunch of “zzz”sounds, you knew very well that he was joking with you because he was still afool. Then, you said to Papyrus you wanted to go to Muffet’s this eveningbecause you had your day off and you would like spending time with him. Itseemed you said the magic word because he stand up, in his usual lazyand uncaring way, telling he was ready to go. Papyrus did not care about hisoutfit or appearance; he took himself the way he was going wherever he wanted to go.Everyone should have said he was carefree but he was just tired of living. Lifehad stolen his energy and now he was drained of willpower. You could accept it,because he was not a bad guy, and he was not totally empty of emotion since youwere aware his feelings towards you were real.
When you and Papyrus arrived to Muffet’s, you consumed a great dinnerand it seemed Papyrus was relaxed and contented, too. It was the perfectoccasion for doing what you got in mind.
You said to him that you were particularly inspired this night so youdesired singing something to entertain the guests. Papyrus loved so much yoursinging voice, you often sang to him sweet lullabies when he had those horriblenightmares. He felt safe and sound in your arms with your soft voice thatcradling him to sleep. He was going to sleep soon when, suddenly, he woke uphearing the animated crowd, since everyone adored your performance.  Then, you looked through in his eyes, he wasjust smiling at you unaware of what you had planned. With your soft but secure stepsyou reached your spot, kneeling in front of Papyrus. He was embarrassed becauseeveryone was watching you and maybe he understood your true intention. He hadthe decisive confirm the moment he saw the ring you were donating to him. Hisface was as orange as an orange fruit, his cigarette fall to the ground and hewas confused. Then, you confessed that you have sang for him and you loved himso much that you wanted to spend the rest of your life with him. You wanted him to be your spouse. Papyrus said yes in the most smoothly way possible but he was internally screaming for the emotion. He was going to faint because it was a dream.You hugged him and, how you could have expected, he lost his senses, keeping that goofygrin on his face.
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queenofchildren · 7 years
Text
Falser than vows made in wine (Pt.I)
In which Romeo and Juliet try to be impulsive and romantic, Rosaline and Benvolio get drunk and stupid, and what happens in Vegas... does NOT stay in Vegas. [also on ao3]
Shut up and put your money where your mouth is
that's what you get for waking up in Vegas
Get up and shake the glitter off your clothes now
That's what you get for waking up in Vegas.
Rosaline is in no mood for romance, or all the craziness it brings. She just had her heart trampled all over by a man she thought was the love of her life, and then lost her job over it. Her sister met, fell for, and moved in with a former patient of hers over the span of barely as much time as it took the guy to recover from his injuries. And her cousin is planning the wedding of the century to tie the knot before she's even turned twenty-one.
Love is madness, and Rosaline wants nothing to do with it.
Which is why, when Juliet offers to treat her to a spa weekend in Vegas, fancy hotel suite included, she says yes without a second thought.
The hotel Juliet chose for them is gorgeous, sleek and modern and with not one piece of garish fake marble or tacky gold paint in sight. There's one of those aquarium columns in the middle of the lobby, stretching up the length of the three-story atrium and casting the entire lobby in soothing bluish light. The only thing spoiling their beautiful surroundings is the fact that there are two Montagues standing in the middle of the lobby, and Juliet is steering her straight towards them.
"What,“ she hisses through clenched teeth, “are they doing here, Jules?"
Juliet makes her usually irresistible puppy eyes, and Rosaline feels dread pool in her stomach.
"Don't be mad babe…"
But she doesn't get around to explaining, for as soon as he sees them, Romeo, the younger and much less obnoxious Montague, starts sprinting towards his fiancée, gathers Juliet in his arms and spins her around, never one to shy away from a flashy gesture.
"We're getting married bitcheees!"
At the nearby hotel bar, a few drunk patrons cheer vaguely, Juliet giggles, and past the aquarium, Rosaline's eyes fall on the older Montague, whose expression must be mirroring hers right now. Benvolio looks somewhere between shock, disgust and resignation, and she thinks that this may be the first time the two of them have ever had the same opinion on anything.
Maybe together they can stop this madness?
But what Juliet Capulet wants, Juliet Capulet gets - and tonight, she wants to elope in Vegas.
"We'll head to one of those little chapels and just get married. No boring service. No 400 super important guests. No five-star catering. No Vera Wang dress." This last point she does look a little regretful about, Rosaline thinks with vicious satisfaction.
Still, the older sister in her can never stay quiet in the face of such recklessness.
"You've been planning that wedding for months now!"
Longer, perhaps - in reality it feels like they've been going crazy over this wedding for years, with Juliet's mother treating Rosaline like her personal errant girl just because she's the maid of honor, and Romeo's father butting in all the time to let everyone know he's paying for half of the wedding. It's been a nightmare, to be honest.
"Exactly." Juliet shrugs. "I'm sick of it."
"Your parents won't be able to get back most of the down payments," she tries to reason once more, but Juliet is not to be dissuaded.
"That's their problem. Half the expensive stuff was their idea anyway. They don't care about our love, they just want to impress their stupid rich friends."
"And outshine each other," Romeo adds, and Rosaline has to admit he's probably right.
The rivalry between the Capulets and Montagues is the stuff of legends, stretching back so far no one even remembers what it started over. The fact that the two families' beloved and only children have somehow found their way together and convinced their parents to bury the hatchet for the span of one insanely glamorous wedding is a miracle unto itself - but then again, Rosaline has no doubt that, had anyone tried to stop them, Romeo and her cousin would have ended up in this exact same place and gone through with the marriage anyway.
"So we're not going to be their excuse to be at each other's throats anymore. We're getting married, and it's going to be about us and no one else," Romeo exclaims, with a passion that might be exhausting in someone else but is annoyingly endearing in him.
Next to him, Juliet nods eagerly, looking at her fiance as if he had just singlehandedly invented the concept of romance.
"It's going to be so romantic," she sighs, then leans up to Romeo for an uncomfortably long kiss.
Rosaline rolls her eyes.
"It's… not as romantic as I imagined."
They're standing in front of the smallest, saddest wedding chapel Rosaline could have possibly imagined, having just spent the last two hours driving all over town in search of a chapel that is free to do the wedding today. Alas, all the somewhat pretty ones are booked out in advance ("Booked out?" was Romeo's horrified response, "That goes against the whole point of eloping!"), and the only free time slots were at about four in the morning.
So it was either getting married at four am, or getting married at a place that looked like the officiant might also rob you during the ceremony and then try to sell you back your own stuff.
"Don't worry, I'm sure the Elvis impersonator will give it his all on 'Love me tender'", Benvolio comments sarcastically, and Rosaline has to admit, when it's not directed at her his snark is actually quite entertaining.
But Juliet's expression remains doubtful, Romeo looks less than enthusiastic too, and Rosaline has never felt more full of Schadenfreude.
They don't even make it past the entrance parlor, where a supremely bored employee shoves a set of forms at the hesitant bride and groom without so much as a hello. He does get a little more talkative after that, but only to rattle off a disclaimer that the chapel will not be held liable for any regret, accidental polygamy, or other damages occurring after the wedding. Then he tries to sell them all horribly tacky and overpriced souvenir shirts.
The happy couple's faces get longer and longer, and finally, Romeo lowers his pen from where it was hovering over one of the forms.
"I love you babe, but I don't think I can do this."
With a sigh of relief, Juliet throws down her own pen, leaving a big splotch of ink on the paper.
"Oh thank God! I hate it here, I don't want the rest of our life to start in a place like this."
If the chapel employee is offended at her distaste, his impassive face shows no sign of it.
"So we're doing the big wedding after all?"
Juliet beams. "Yes, we're doing the big wedding!" Then she throws herself into her fiancé's arms to kiss him passionately.
"You have got to be fucking kidding me," is all Rosaline manages to say in reaction.
She was dragged here, cheated out of a much-needed spa weekend, and forced to interact with Benvolio Montague - and it was all for nothing? Desperate for someone, anyone to support her, she looks to the best man. But Benvolio is doubled over laughing, wheezing whoops escaping him every once in a while. Rosaline rolls her eyes – she should have known he wouldn't be any help.
Finally, when she's about to strangle him with a souvenir shirt, Benvolio straightens up again, exaggeratedly wiping a tear from the corner of his eye.
"Well, looks like I've got my material for the best man speech," he concludes cheerfully and grins expectantly. "Now what?"
Two flushed faces look at him sheepishly. It's two in the afternoon, and apparently, Juliet and Romeo didn't make any plans for this weekend beyond eloping.
"I for one was lured here with the promise of a weekend of debauchery," Benvolio states, a half-second before Rosaline can speak up and bring up the topic of her spa weekend once more. "I say we get started on that."
Rosaline wants to protest, but Benvolio suggests they start the “debauchery” with a steak dinner, and, well, they have been driving around all morning and she is actually famished. So she goes along for the dinner, planning to talk Juliet into ditching their company as soon as possible. And since the restaurant has a cocktail happy hour in the middle of the afternoon and it's been a day, Rosaline decides it's only fair she gets to treat herself to a drink as well.
Which of course Benvolio has to comment on.
"Daydrinking, Capulet? I didn't know you had it in you."
She doesn't dignify him with an answer.
Unfortunately, however, Juliet and Romeo are so caught up in themselves that eventually, there's no way around interacting with him: It's either talk to the other third wheel, or risk getting her eyes stuck in the back of her head because she's rolling them so much.
"Have I told you that I love you?" Romeo murmurs into Juliet's ear for about the millionth time just then.
"Only about ten seconds ago," Rosaline mutters under her breath, but the happy couple doesn't hear her. Rosaline downs the rest of her mimosa - only to have her glass taken away from her as soon as it's empty.
"Alright, Capulet, time to get you out of here."
"What."
"You're grumpy. Vegas and grumpy don't go well together."
"Why do you care?", she asks, deepening her frown to look even grumpier, just on principle.
"Because it looks like you're my only company for the weekend, and I make it a point not to associate with boring people. So you'll have to woman up and try and have some fun."
"I don't want to have fun!", she almost replies, and then freezes as the words hit her. Is she really so determined to be unhappy the entire time here? Sure, Juliet and Romeo luring them here for a surprise wedding and then not even getting married is perhaps a little inconsiderate, but it is also undoubtedly funny, and something she can tease her cousin with for years to come. Besides, she's been like this for weeks, constantly in a bad mood, and the realisation suddenly makes her angry: So not only did Escalus break her heart, but he also turned her into a boring stick-in-the-mud?
Hell no.
She's in Vegas. She's going to have some fun - even if it is with the likes of Benvolio Montague.
She gets up so abruptly her chair scrapes loudly across the chair.
“Alright. Let's have fun then,” she snarls, then almost flinches at how... questionable it sounds.
Benvolio seems to have heard it too, but to his credit, he doesn't comment. Instead he smiles, and looks almost genuine.
"That's the spirit, Capulet."
Juliet and Romeo protest only very perfunctorily when they take off, no doubt planning to return to the hotel and make use of the already paid-for suite.
And since that probably means Rosaline won't be able to get back into the suite for some time, there's only one thing left to do: Keep drinking.
But to her amazement, it turns out that drinking with Benvolio Montague may have been just what she needed.
First, he goads her into chugging a Long Island Ice Tea to see who can down it faster. Rosaline retaliates by daring him to perform "Call me maybe" on the bar's karaoke machine, and then has to down another cocktail when he actually does a fairly good job - mostly in tune, and with a rousing charm that soon has the handful of other patrons enthusiastically singing along. Next, he dares her to hit on the first three guys she makes eye contact with and she actually does it, probably because he calls her boring again and she wants to prove him wrong (although why it should matter what he thinks of her is a question she prefers not to ask herself).
Honestly, by that time she's surprised he's even still with her - she thought he'd have abandoned her a long time ago to head to a strip club or something. But Benvolio stays, teaches her to play Blackjack, brings her drinks and the occasional coke, makes jokes that are not all terrible (though obviously, she doesn't tell him this), and even chivalrously whisks her away when she accidentally hits on two men a little too close together and they immediately get into a fight over it.
By the time the sun sets, Rosaline has to admit that maybe he's not as terrible as she had thought until then. Absolutely full of himself, yes, but not the kind of fratboy douche turned corporate tyrant she had pegged him for based on the few times she met him at one of Romeo's parties.
So, against all odds, hours after he turned up this morning to herald the ruin of her weekend, she's still hanging out with Benvolio Montague, and she's doing it voluntarily - although of course, her other options are trying to get Romeo and Juliet to yield the hotel room, or taking off alone in the hopes that she'll find some new friends to hang out.
Compared to these options, it might just be preferable to sit on a hotel rooftop and watch the sun set over the glittering city, slowly gearing up for a long, wild weekend.
There's an official rooftop bar just two floors below them, but Benvolio took one look at it, deemed it "too crowded", and led her up a fire escape to the roof instead – the kind of thing that Rosaline, usually the designated “sensible friend”, would never do. Once again, she feels that little thrill of adventure flare up, that spark of defiance that made her stand up in that restaurant and exclaim that she was going to have some fun. Well, she's certainly having fun today, and doing a lot of things she would never usually do - and honestly, amazingly, it feels good.
Escalus would freak out if he could see her now, she thinks randomly, and then realizes that this is the first time she's thought about her ex since this morning.
With a smile, Rosaline takes another sip of the water Benvolio bought her at their last stop, despite her whining that she'd prefer a cocktail. "Staying hydrated is the first rule of a Vegas weekend, Capulet. Did you learn nothing from The Hangover?", he chided her, and she remembers thinking that of course he would count The Hangover among his favorite movies. But now, she has to admit she's kind of glad for the refreshing water – and probably still a lot more drunk than she'd like to admit, so maybe she should take that advice about staying hydrated.
For an indeterminable time, Rosaline lets her thoughts stray and her eyes wander down the long line of flashing lights, one casino after another, bars and restaurants and other entertainment venues. They all look tiny and insignificant from up here, and the rest of her life feels just as far removed.
For the first time in a long time, she feels her mind quiet down – and to her surprise, Benvolio falls silent too and doesn't interrupt her aimless musings.
Well, for a little while at least.
"You know what we should do?", he eventually asks, mischief in his voice.
And when she turns her head and looks at him, his face bathed in gold from the setting sun, his eyes bright with the reflection of that last fading strip of desert sky below the first glinting stars, Rosaline knows she's going to say yes no matter what he suggests.
"We should get married."
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And Then It Got Weird: “Baby Games, 6 Weeks to 1 Year”
Yes, that’s right, folks, my oldest brother was partially raised by the record player. Possibly me, too. I have no clue what I’m about to listen to. Uh... Album cover looks...
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... creepy...
Honestly, this is going to be my first real exposure to anything meant for parents. I’m roughly as terrified about the prospect of listening to this as I am about the prospect of eventually being partially responsible for the creation of a shrieking, poop-drenched nightmare-creature that stole half my DNA. I’ve been putting this off as long as possible while still knowing that when I go to bed, that child’s face is going to be, like, eight feet away from mine. I must write this. Or it will be watching me. Only by listening to the Sound of the Beast can I banish it to the dark cardboard box whence it came. Only then will its grim visage be stricken from my memories. Only then will I finally be safe from its complete lack of a pelvis. 
I wholly anticipate just turning this off. But I’m going to try. I’m going to try to sit through it. 
Oh, good. Whimsical accordion music. 
youtube
I can feel my brain starting to melt on the outside and run down the little folds.
They’ve brought in a cheerful clarinet. 
Please, no. Please, no, let’s not do it again, disembodied voice that I immediately picture as being a skinny guy in a blue polo shirt and huge wire rimmed glasses.
“Let’s cheer for the baby team!” 
Please let it stop. There’s a baby cheerleading team. There’s probably some information on whatever the fuck is supposed to be happening in this little booklet. I just can’t bring myself to look inside. 
Now there’s some weird, plonky harp music that’s accompanying a woman who is way too enthusiastic about making babies put their toes in their ears. 
It’s always creeped me out when shit for babies refers to your baby solely as “Baby”. They’re always afraid to use the possessive, as if people are trying to raise other people’s children all the time. Or as if there’s some shadowy cabal of baby-lib activists that have secretly been putting subliminal messages in baby products to make parents give their babies more freedom by not viewing them as something for which to be responsible, and that’s why kids these days all seem to be fucking insane. That’s not their end goal, though. They won’t stop until the cult of childrearing has gained so much sociopolitical power in this country that half the Supreme Court stands in direct opposition to the idea of a marriage that produces no offspr--wait... 
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MOTHER OF GOD.
Right as I typed that, there was a huge. ominous synth stab. Do you think I’d get sued if I uploaded some of this? 
My brain is now a big pile of mush lying at the bottom of my skull. 
It must be the weird Casio keyboard demo music. 
That kind of weird, “Eh, that’s close enough to a piano, let’s just keep working on those 76 different variations on the sound of a marimba. That’s where the real money will be. The bedroom marimbaist is an untapped market, Jerry! UNTAPPED!”
“Get ready to meet Mr. Chin! Knock on the door! Who’s there? Why, Mr. Chin! Come right in. And shut the door.” Draw the drapes. Cindy, get the kid out of here. I don’t want him to have to see this. Now what do you want, Chin? I told Guangzhou I’d have his money by Thursday, it’s just taking longer than I expected to--
No. No... Not here. Please not here. 
oh, my god.
(press play for sp00py [unironic cw: actually pretty realistic torture noises])
MAMA PULLS YOUR LEGGIES OFF, LEGGIES OFF, LEGGIES OFF
MAMA PULLS YOUR LEGGIES OFF, JUST LIKE THIS. 
FIRST WE SEVER ONE FOOT, ONE FOOT, ONE FOOT,
FIRST WE SEVER ONE FOOT, JUST LIKE THIS.
Note: One week has passed. My mind has not yet healed, but I think the worst of the nightmares have gone. 
Time again to tread into the mind-shredding horror of the demon’s maw.
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“Together we’ll smile
Together we’ll coo
We’re going to play snuggles together
Maybe we’ll dance
Maybe we’ll rock
But whatever we do we’re together.”
UNTIL THE STARS FALL, SCREAMING, FROM THE BLOOD-RED SKY. UNTIL CONTINENTS SINK BENEATH THE ROILING OCEAN. UNTIL THE WORLD FLIES WITHOUT A TRACE INTO THE ETERNAL NIGHT, WE WILL SHINE TOGETHER. OUR COVENANT UNBROKEN, OUR SOULS BOUND WITH THE GLISTENING THREAD OF TIME ITSELF.
I thought I had prepared myself. That week spent mainlining hardcore dissociative drugs and doing noga (nihilist yoga, in which you lie flat on the dirty ground and shriek wordlessly into the yawning void-pit that lies at the center of human existence), if anything, only heightened the psychic agony of listening to such an obviously tainted record. Because if I truly do not exist, and through some horrific accident of chemistry, geometry, and electromagnetism, this record does... 
What is it all here for, anyway? 
The next song is called “Feather Play”. This record just entered a whole new realm of fucked. Why did I volunteer for this? No record collection is worth having to endure this. This is “Don’t Stop Me Now” at the end of Shaun of the Dead, except it’s not a joke. This is some deep web shit wrapped in a pink and yellow package. 
“Legs Up, Boo!” does have some serious potential as an ironic tech-house remix. That is literally the only redeeming quality I’ve found in my journey into the nightmare dimension, where hell is given life. 
But that’s it. It’s over, Sam. 
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God damn, that was torturous. The worst part is that at one point, I lost half the project file in Audacity, so I had to listen to half the record all over again. 
I genuinely wonder if there’s a way to attach an audio snippet of any of this. It was truly disturbing. Not in the way that watching someone club a baby seal is disturbing, but disturbing in the way that an old, crumbling statue of a clown is disturbing. All gleaming and polished and horrible, watching you blankly with its huge and sightless eyes. 
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Imagine the music that would play while you looked at this fucking nightmare creature, knowing that for the last fifty years, it’s been turning the people in this dying late-Communist mining town into concrete simulacra that goose-step all over the Baltics, pumping jaunty vaudeville music out of their motionless faces. It’s going to take a team of sixteen people four days and twelve lives to figure out how to suppress the infrabass frequency it produces that shears electrons off of the atoms in our body and turns us into silicon. That’s the kind of music that is on this record. All because some kind of mucus-person with access to a keyboard thought it was the sort of thing that the kiddies would enjoy. 
Media: Most likely preserved with dark and forbidden magics/10
Music: Deeply unsettling/10
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