Craig gimmicks

craig tends to be like a cat in nature, his mood goes up and down, and his desire of touch only occurs when HE wants it rather than others (tho he’ll try to compensate for his partners sometimes) Getting spooked if he is suddenly touched or gripped without him knowing it will happen, getting scared and teleporting away or squirming like a feral gecko (flailing) he also prefers floating than walking around,, or wall and ceiling crawling, the feeling of gravity pisses him off a bit sometimes JRKFMFM

Sycamore High: A Final Round (Chapter 40: Part 1)

A/N: I AM SO SORRY!! ITS BEEN FOREVER!! Also I have decided to split the final chapter into two parts! I promise I wont take three months to write the next one lol... Anyway!! I hope you all enjoy and once again! I am so so sorry

summary: As the year ends the gang has some unfinished things to wrap up

words: 4662

warnings: Swearing, kissing, homophobia

Edited by: @theyreallidiots  (YOURE MY ANGEL AND SAVIOR AND I FUCKING LOVE YOU SO MUCH)

Ao3 Link

“Hey uh, bye fucker” Ted waves from the couch, stuffing his mouth full of newly opened cheeseballs.

“Bye asshole” Paul responds, lugging his bags towards the door. Chad and Henry watch from the opening in their kitchen.

“Are they friends? I can't tell” Chad asks softly, Henry laughs. “Alright, boys! Let's have a proper goodbye shall we?” Chad requests, glaring only slightly at his son. Ted moans standing quickly, he walks over to Paul giving him a quick hug. “Oh come on, you're best friends”

“We are like Stan and Kyle dad” Ted mumbles, Chad and Henry glance at one another, Teds references were a hit and miss with the pair. “Ugh nevermind, I don't need to give Paul a big giant hug, that's all I'm saying”

“Aren't those the two that dated?” Paul asks trying to remember.

“No that's Tweek and Craig” Ted corrects, Paul nods an ‘ah’ sound escapes “You gotta watch more ‘South Park’” Ted chides, Paul laughs.  

“Wait does that mean you're going to write me a song because you miss me” Paul mocks, recalling the events of the previous few episodes. Teds not sure whether he's impressed or offended.

“Of course I will” He teases back, Henrys given up. “Alright say goodbye to Clyde” Ted requests, Paul awes kneeling as the sad pup comes up to him, licking his face goodbye. He stands after a moment of cuddling and faces the professors.

“Thank you so much for letting me stay here” He goes up and hugs Henry and Chad, they return the gesture happily. “It was really nice” He smiles, they ruffle his hair allowing him to face Ted now. The professors share a glance before promptly exiting the room, leaving the friends alone. Clyde jumps into Ted’s arms receiving soft pets. “Well it’s been fun” Paul commented jokingly, Ted laughs giving his friend a hug.

“Look, just come back whenever you need to ok?” He asks softly. Paul nods pulling away.

“Sorry, I’m a bit late” Emma joins in, opening the door as she makes her way into the apartment. Ted gives her a nod, Paul greets her with a quick kiss on the cheek. “Ready?” She hopes, he nods giving Ted one last look of gratefulness before stepping out of the apartment and joining Emma on her descent downstairs. “You ok?” She checks before hopping into the car, Paul joins her after stuffing his belongings into the back.

“Yeah, I just got so used to living with Ted it'll be weird… ya know?” Emma nods starting the car “But I'm really excited to go home and sleep in my bed and be with my mom” He lists excited, Emma giggles at his antics heading onto the road. The drive isn't too long and Paul had offered to just walk but Emma wanted to be there.

“Are you hungry at all?” Emma inquires carefully, inputting Paul's house into her GPS. Paul ponders for a moment, the professors had sent him off with plenty of food in his stomach.

“No I’m ok, how are you?” He responds, fiddling with the ends of his jacket. He realized how long it had been since the pair had been alone together, just the two of them. He loves their friends but… it was nice.

“I’m ok, Charlotte is having a fashion crisis about her outfit for the wedding. She wasn’t expecting to be asked to sing so...but now she has Jackie for that.” Emma turns “Who mind you, is much better at that than I am” She admits, Paul laughs. “Speaking of the wedding…” She twirls her fingers over his hand, playing with it.

“Yes?” He turns, smiling.

“Well, what colors are you wearing? I want to match” She chimes, Paul laughs. “What?” She grins towards him, adorable confusion.

“Nothing, I'm wearing a standard suit, with a hint of blue” He explains, she raises an eyebrow. “I’ve been with Henry too long…”

“Blue” She repeats thinking it over, she pulls into Pauls driveway “I can do blue”

“Thanks for driving me,” he says, staring fearfully at the house in front of him. Emma takes his hand, kissing it softly.

“Did you really think I was going to let you waltz in there alone?” Emma wonders, Paul laughs stepping out of the car. Emma joins him, helping him with some bags. They trudge up the driveway, the sweltering heat hitting them quite hard. “Ready?” She asks, he nods pushing open the door, silently praying no one is home. He makes his way softly into the house hoping nobody can hear him, if anybody is home that is. Emma takes his free hand, grasping it protectively.

“Paul!” Alice exclaims running up to her brother, her hug causing him to drop all his things as he returns the gesture. “I missed you so much!” She tightens her grip, Paul struggles for air, silently pleading to Emma. She coughs loudly gaining the attention of a certain Matthews sister, who pulls away apologizing.

“I missed you too” He responds, he scans the room looking at the empty kitchen/living room. It feels lonely, sad, dreary, what are other adjectives for lonely? “Where is mom?” He inquires, walking further into the house.

“She took Joe out while you came home”

“I'm so tempted to make a ‘Joe mama’ joke” Paul mumbles, Emma seizes trying to contain her laughter. “So it's just us?” He continues, Alice nods. “I'm gonna go put my stuff away, Em?” Emma smiles a greeting to Alice before following Paul upstairs. She had forgotten what his room looked like having spent so much time at the professors.

“Excited to be home?” She asks as Paul flops onto his bed, clutching his pillows close.

“So excited” He gleams, he throws a pillow her way, a mischievous grin spread across his face.

“You are starting something you can't finish Matthews” Emma throws it back a little rougher, Paul raises his brows sitting up. He throws two more at her, hitting her square in the face, she laughs ready. “Is that a challenge Matthews?” He nods coyly receiving a pillow in his face as a response. They continue for a little while circling around the room and bouncing on the bed, pillows flying everywhere. Finally, Paul catches Emma, wrapping his arms around the squealing teen smothering her with quick pecks.

“Gotchu,” He says, turning her to face him. She shrugs pulling him in for a kiss.

“Suppose you do” She comments back, he pulls her in kissing her prolongedly, holding on to this moment for a while. They pull apart needing a moment, desperate for air. “Well damn Paul… but uh… I don't think that's how you play pillow fight”

“Uh Emma, you don't play pillow fight, you live it” he corrects, Emma laughs pushing him off. He smiles, melting back into his cozy bed, Emma sits next to him. “Mmm home” He hums softly, Emma fiddles with his hair.

“I love you” Emma whispers sweetly into his hair, kissing his forehead. A soft umph escapes her as Paul hits her with a pillow once more, rolling off the bed laughing. “I take it back” She grumbles, coughing some feathers out of her mouth. Paul leans forward, taking Emma's face in his hands.

“No, take-backs,” He says, kissing her again. He could do this forever.

~~~

“Are you seriously telling me you can’t tie a tie?” Tommy chides, looking up from his magazine as he lounges on Ted's bed. Ted stands in front of the mirror, growing exceedingly frustrated at the knot around his neck he claims to be a tie.

“Don't be mean, help me” He begs, tugging annoyed at the patterned garment. Tommy groans rolling off the bed. He stands joining his boyfriend in the mirror. Ted pouts as Tommy swats his hands away, intricately working on the tie, patting it flat once he's finished. “Perfect, thank you,” He says, kissing Tommy on the forehead before turning back to the mirror.

“You know I’ve showed you a million times right?” Tommy comments flopping back onto the bed. Ted bites down a knowing smile. It's not that he likes when Tommy helps him, its that he loves leaning forward, planting a surprise kiss directly onto Tommy, leaving him flustered a moment after.

“Yeah but I forgot” Ted admits, Tommy groans once more, laughing annoyed into a pillow he had used for propping his magazine on. Teds not going to lie, that sound had been sorely missed. And so had the flutter in his chest, the one he got everytime Tommy even batted an eye his way. “Shouldn't you be getting ready?” Ted remembers, checking the time. Tommy hums softly, flipping through the pages.

“Yes! But I don't want to” Tommy exclaims, Ted finishes his hair, deciding there is nothing more he can do for it before turning to Tommy. He gives the smaller boy a look, Tommy bites his lips before giving in. “My parents want me to wear this suit, and I hate how it feels” He complains, Ted moves towards the bed, squatting in front of Tommy who lays forward, his head resting in his hands.

“You don't have to wear the suit” Ted begins, Tommy tilts his sad head. “Ok, I wasn't sure when or how but...I asked Jackie for a favor…” Almost instantly Tommys face lights up. Ted giggles, taking Tommy's hand in his own. He stands, allowing Tommy to follow him towards the closet. Tommy clutches to Ted scared if he even missteps he will be gone, lost because Tommy failed to keep him. It's silly, he knows, but it's his silliness.

“Mmm not my favorite place” Tommy jokes, Ted stifles a laugh, nudging Tommy softly. He opens the door revealing a dress. Tommy's jaw dropped, just the reaction Ted had hoped for. The dress matched Teds burgundy theme, white lace to decorate it. It was of appropriate length, but perfectly flowy. Tommy continues gaping, Ted wraps his arms around the smaller boy from the back, his head leaning on Tommy's shoulder slightly. “Do you-

“Don't even finish, I love it” Tommy admires. Ted smiles triumphant, planting a sweet kiss on his cheek. Tommy continues smiling as Ted releases his grip, Tommy moves forward taking the dress and excusing himself into the bathroom. Ted goes back to his own outfit, sitting at the tip of the bed as he ties his shoes. He hums softly allowing the silence to envelop him in his thoughts, the reality of his life, his situation everything that had happened hitting him. He didn't mean to cry and it wasn't ...bad per se but it did feel weird. He shakes his head, wiping away any remnants, everything was fine.

“Everything is fine” He repeats out loud, staring grimly at his reflection. His outfit is fine but everything just seems one-off. Not that he could think about it much as something catches his eyes in the mirror, the bathroom door sliding open, a very nervous Tommy stands in it. How many times must a person's jaw drop today? Tommy looked perfect in the dress, everything fit him and he was just…”Perfect” Ted marvels, his eyes might as well be pounding hearts.

“What?” Tommy laughs, spinning only slightly as his dress follows him.

“You look...perfect” Ted grins nodding, he's smooth, he's got this. Tommy squeals, Oh no...he does not got this. He expects more happy squeals and delighted smiles but Tommy’s face drops, he plops on the bed. “Tommy? What’s up?”  Ted asks, sitting next to him.

“I just don't know how my parents are going to react to...this” he gestures to himself, Ted bites his lip. “I should just go in the suit” He decides, his voice emulating quite the opposite sentiment. He stands but Ted stops him in his tracks.

“Gumdrop you can wear whatever you want but please… I want you to be comfortable, not itchy and...saggy” He tries, Tommy raises a brow. “I don't remember what you said” He admits, Tommy laughs, he stands on his tiptoes planting a soft kiss on Ted’s lips.

“Hey, you two” They pull apart quickly, being interrupted by Chad. He hides a coy smile, no matter how much he loves Tommy, he is still a father and he has rules. “Almost ready to go?” He asks, Tommy nods collecting his things. He folds his clothes putting them neatly on Ted's chair, knowing he’ll be back later to collect them. Ted finishes his last arrangements before stepping out of the room following his dad to the living room. With one more unsure glance in the mirror, Tommy follows them.

“Well look at you two” Henry claps, Chad smirks giving his husband a kiss on the cheek before retreating into the kitchen for a cup of tea. “You ready to sing?” he teases, Ted moans nervous, the churning in his stomach growing. Tommy takes his hands squeezing it supportively.

“You're going to do great!” Tommy encourages, kissing his cheek just the same. Henry excuses himself to the car, packing up some things for the ceremony. Chad joins him a moment after, helping with his own load. Tommy and Ted are left in the apartment. “Ready dearest?” Tommy inquires, leading Ted to the door.

“I hope so…” Ted mutters, following Tommy. He would follow him anywhere.

~~~

“Char, you need to take a breath” Jackie suggests, Charlotte shakes her head continuing her frantic pacing. “Here have some tea” Jackie offers holding up a fresh cup, Charlotte turns to her eyes wide completely baffled.

“No! No, I can't drink anything right now unless its water! It'll create stuff in my throat!”

“Bubbles!” Jackie shouts, she doesn't mean to but she can't deal with the stress. “You need to take a breather Char, please sit down and just breathe” Jackie begs, Charlotte pouts but heeds her advice nonetheless.  

“I'm sorry I just do not want to sing, I can’t sing, why did they ask me to sing today?” Charlotte rambles. Jackie sits next to her girlfriend taking her hand softly, she kisses her cheek lightly hoping her makeup doesn't smudge. The girls were waiting now at the wedding, they were early since they were not just guests but performers. “Where is Ted? And Tommy?” Charlotte rushes “They should be here by now” She notes, Jackie nods sighing. She stands taking Charlotte with her.

“You need to dance” She decides, Charlotte laughs nervously, her breath shaky.

“Really? Right now?” Charlotte whines, Jackie nods swaying slowly around the room following the steps of the band warming up. Though a little clunky they make it through, dancing around the room and soon Charlotte forgets her past worries and allows the music to guide her. After a while they flop back onto the couch, sighing content. “Better?”

“Much better” Charlotte yawns cuddling up closer to Jackie, they have awhile before they have to do anything so they spend the rest of the time just relaxing. It's definitely just what both girls needed before the wedding.

~~~

“No no! That's supposed to be over there!” Ted corrects. The man, presumingly the one in charge of flowers, scatters fixing his mistake quickly. “Ugh imbeciles,” He says, Tommy laughs playing with Ted’s freehand while the other clutches to a clipboard. “It's not funny Tommy” Though he is still frustrated his voice softens, he's not mad at Tommy, no reason to take it out on him.

“Mmhm” Tommy hums, Ted rolls his eyes walking towards the arch. Tommy follows him admiring the garden, it was perfect. “It’s…” Tommy marvels

“Wrong! All wrong!” Ted grumbles, Tommy takes his chin facing him towards himself. “What?” Ted pouts, Tommy kisses him.

“You need to calm down, it looks beautiful dearest” Tommy complements, Ted sighs. It does look wonderful, Ted has worked hard he was just...stressed. “Now come, we have other things to check on” Tommy interlaces his fingers with a very reluctant Ted and leads him towards the two tents. They peek in waving as they approach Jackie, Charlotte, Emma and Paul.

“Looks great Ted” Paul comments, Tommy rubs his boyfriend’s shoulder reassuringly.

“Thanks I guess…” Ted grumbles looking over his list, his soft mumbling of different things he needs to do. “Ok can I enlist your help?” Ted hopes, Paul and Jackie shoot up, Tommy purses his lips happily at the trio. “Jackie can you take Emma to food? Make sure it’s all accounted for?” The girls nod sharing a quick handshake before leaving. “Awesome” He says flatly. “Gumdrop will you check in on music with Paul?” Tommy nods, Paul gives awkward finger guns before following Tommy out of the room. “Guess you're with me” He tells Charlotte, she smiles taking his hand to stand.

~~~

“S’cuse me?” Tommy asks politely tapping on one of the musicians. They turn a flashing grin on their face, Paul stands idle looking over the list Ted gave him.

“Can I help you kid?” The gruff man sounds exactly as expected, low and smooth. He takes notice of Paul, a greeting of clicking his tongue. Tommy gleams taking the list from Paul, freely of course, Paul wasn't much of a talker.  

“I just need to make sure everything is in working order!” Tommy says, the man shrugs giving him permission. “A harp player?” The man nods pointing to a woman practicing, he checks it off. Tommy continues until he's finished turning satisfactorily towards Paul, his dress spinning with him.

“I like your dress” Paul comments, Tommy smiles thankfully “Jackie I'm assuming” Tommy nods, they walk slowly now indulging a nice conversation checking in on other things just for it. It was getting heated in the most friendly way debating over silly things for the fun of it. “Oh!” Tommy exclaims delighted “You can't mean that” he laughs, Paul laughs back. “See I th-”

“Tommy?” Tommy stops turning, he might have gasped but why should he be surprised. Teagan and Eric looked so disappointed Tommy wanted to laugh, that might be the only look he’d ever seen cross their face. “What on god’s green earth are you wearing?” Teagen seethed. Tommy didn't trust himself to answer, Paul on the other hand…

“It's called a dress, miss Sweet” He informs dryly. Paul exams her outfit, thank god for Jackie “But I see how you could miss that…” He says clearly alluding towards her own outfit, she looked like an off-brand royal member. Teagans eyes widen, a vicious scoff escapes.

“Do you know who I am?” She threatens, Eric puffs out his chest.

“No, frankly I don't” Paul admits, Tommy’s shoulders fall a small pout. He appreciates what Pauls trying to do but he would like to leave. Teagan scoffs once more, Tommy averts his gaze.

“You really are quite a charmer aren't you Tommy?” She smirks, Paul ushers the pair back a little as she moves forward. “Everyone just loves you, don’t they? What are you, his other boyfriend?” And as if something connected them they both felt the same emotion. It wasn't the assumption that he was with Tommy, but the way that she talked about her son that set Paul off. Tommy felt offended on behalf of Ted and Paul, how dare she?

“Mom just stop, ok? For once don't make everything about you, it's a wedding!” Tommy exclaims, Paul smirks to the ground “I need to go help Ted so that's exactly what I'm going to do” Tommy decides, Teagan goes for more but Paul shrugs walking away following Tommy.

“That was impressive” Paul quipped, Tommy gives him a weak smile feeling more uncomfortable in his dress than ever before.

“Please don't mention it to Ted, he has enough on his plate” Tommy requests, Paul nods despite knowing he wouldn't be keeping this secret. Ted would want to know, out of all the people, he would want to know.

Paul wonders how they ended up here, the year started out so light. Racing through the halls trying to get away from a less than happy principal, playing smash bros with Ted, coffee runs with his sister. He hates to admit it but he wishes he could start the year over. He would give Ted his mom back, he wouldn't even look at Billy, he’d make it all better. It sounds stupid, he knows, but he would trade anything, anything for a year of betterment than...whatever their year was.

~~~

“Nervous?” Ted wonders, checking in on his father one last time. Henry scoffs adjusting his cufflinks in the mirror, Ted smirks. “I’ll take that as a ‘yes’ ” Ted teases, Henry laughs finishing his adjustments. The tent is empty now as everyone takes their position, eager to push on.

“No no, I would be nervous if I wasn't sure” Henry hums. Ted, who itches for anything of his parents past or feelings, listens. “But I have been in love with that man for over twenty-four years, I’d be more nervous at the fact that I wasn't sure” Henry jokes

“S’cute” Ted mumbles, rubbing his eyes for a smidgen of adrenaline “Well I'm going to go get started, you good in here?” Ted checks one more time. Henry nods returning to the mirror. Ted smiles as he advances to the garden, bustling people clamoring over their chairs. He spots Charlotte by the band warming up and testing her vocals with the sound. She waves brightly at him before continuing, Jackie sits watching her with pride.

“Ok fine I wouldn't kill Eugene but like-” Paul joins Ted

“It’s not even a debate Paul, there is no ‘but’” Ted replies without missing a beat. “You don't kill Eugene” Paul sighs rolling his eyes. “Don't be sad, because sad spelled backwards is das and das not gut” Ted quotes, Paul snickers nudging his friend.

“Hey, look at how far you've come” Paul reminds “You used to be a jerk, and now you're a wedding planner and a jerk” Paul jokes “But honestly, look at you! You're out, you've got an awesome boyfriend, killer friends-” He gestures to himself, Ted sucks in a sharp doubtful breath “Great parents” Paul compliments, Ted snorts

“You've been hanging out with Jackie too much” Ted decides “You forgot the alien” Ted notes, Paul cocks his head. “The one I rescued from Area 51? Yeah, his name is Gordon and he's a chef” Ted announces, Paul nods diligently “Not to sound sad on main but you ever miss…” He trails off

“The beginning of the year? Yeah kinda” Paul admits finishing Ted’s thought. “Ted your mom would be really proud of you, seriously. She would love Tommy, she’s always loved your voice and acting, and you planned a wedding!” Paul rejoices, Ted gives him a grateful smile in return. “Also I have reserved one dance for us, because no matter what you and Tommy are, we are the OG's” He says wistfully, Ted throws his head back laughing.

“Still not interested Paul” Ted teases thinking back on his many years of putting up with his best friend.

“Still don’t care” He quips in return, Ted rolls his eyes. “Hey look its-

“My bitch” Ted instantly shakes his head “Nope, not me, did not work, regret it, 0/10 would not recommend,” He says as Tommy approaches a confused look befalls his face. Tommy smiles wary, Paul tries hard not to laugh but nods. “Hi” He says simply

“Hi dear...you good?” Tommy checks, Ted gives him to thumbs up, blushing red as he does so.

“Yes I think everything is ready and gucci to go” He decides going through his list one more time. Emma approaches sliding her hand into Pauls, he greets her with a kiss before turning to Ted.

“Flowers are good to go! And so is everything else!” She muses, Ted shoots her a grateful glances. “All there’s left is to-”

“Get married” The group turns, Chad stands proudly, Ted smirks nodding his head.

“Looking good pops!” He shakes his head instantly, Tommy and Paul stifle more laughs. Ted turns to Tommy sighing “I need sleep” He nods leading his boyfriend towards the seats. Chad smiles allowing the rest of the children to take their seats. “I’ll be right back” Ted whispers going up to his father.

“Sup” Chad jokes, Ted laughs rolling his eyes. Chad nudges his son, giving him a tight hug. “Thank you Ted”  The boy cocks his head “For everything, out of all of this, you are the best thing to happen all year”

“Hey, that's not fair to me” The pair turn, small gasps from Chad as his eyes fall on Henry. Ted gleams nodding.

“I am pretty amazing” Ted teases, Henry shoves him receiving one back. They continue before Henry ultimately wins, wrapping his arms around Ted. “Ew affection”

“I’m marrying a child” Chad mumbles rolling his eyes as he separates the pair. “If we ever get married” He groans, Henry pouts but nods defeated.

“Alright, I’m going dear” He says, a quick squeeze to Chad's arm before he rushes to the altar. Chad turns to Ted nodding, a brief hug before Ted returns to Tommy. He looks to Charlotte who might be too busy watching Jackie, a clearing of the throat and she begins.

“Wise men say…” She starts slow, her voice carrying as the crowd silences. Chad shakes his head playfully, remembering the first time he did this. A lot less people were there, and hell was he nervous. “Only fools rush in” She sings, smiling at her professor. Chad takes a breath before taking his first step. It's silly isn't it, they didn't have to go through all of this. They were dramatic though, what did you expect?

Soon enough he finds himself at the end of the aisle and shaking. Ted stands leading him the final way up, kissing both his parents on the cheek as the song finishes he sits once more.

“Falling in love….with..you” She bows accordingly before taking an excited chair next to Jackie. A sweet kiss as congratulations. The ceremony went pretty fast on its own.

“Chad, my love” Henry begins, soon enough wailing and sobs can be heard. Henry sighs as Chad laughs through his tears. “We have been together for twenty four years, you have been my-

“Dad! You’re boring me!” Ted interjects. Henry turns, scoffing. Ted smiles as Tommy buries his head.  “Kidding!” Henry faces Chad once more.

“Could I borrow that” He gestures to Chads bouquet, his partner laughs handing it over. He chucks it delicately at Ted who catches it, the crowd laughs. “Ok, anyway” He eyes Ted “Chad, I don't have much more to say that I haven't told you every morning and every night. I love you, more than words or weddings or anything can describe. I would give you the world, but you are my world” Chad stifles his own sobs, squeezing maybe a little harder than he needed to on Henry's hands.

“Fuck, that’s a really good line” Ted whispers to Tommy, his boyfriend takes his hand and places it over Ted’s mouth. “Mmmmmmmm” He tries to speak.

“I love you but shush” Tommy begs, Ted rolls his eyes but agrees.

“My turn!” Chad hopes, practically buzzing with affection and adoration.“Henry, from the moment I saw you across the highschool theatre, to the moment you kissed me under the barren lights of the stage” Henry smirks, feeling a blush occur. “I love you, I don't know how else to put it. How do you put the truth into words? I love you so much Henry” He admits, not...no not admits. Reaffirms, as he would do until the day he took a dying breath. Soon enough the ‘I do’s’ are through and their lips are locked. Cheers erupt as they embrace excited, a much too impatient Ted jumps up wrapping them up in his arms. And for this moment, just this frozen sophisticated moment of pure delight.

It was perfect

...for now

Taking a Stand

ship: platonic!bbs x male!reader

dialogue prompt: "No! I'm tired of doing what you tell me!"

warnings: abusive relationship, high school au, i poured my heart and soul into this, it felt really nice to write something like this

"Good morning, gamers," I mumbled, walking to our table in the cafeteria. My friends simply said their greetings back or just nodded at me, looking just as tired as I was.

Mondays were always hard on us, especially since we all were trying to keep up with our channels on the weekends. We all probably had a few hours of decent rest.

"Is everyone gonna be ready to upload our Prop Hunt video tonight?" Craig asked, pulling out the Uno cards. It was a tradition for us to play before school started.

"Yeah," Tyler muttered.

"Yup," Evan replied.

"I think so. I haven't had the chance to edit it yet." Brock gave me a look, that was between concerned and confused.

"You're usually the first one to finish editing out of all of us." I yawned, tears pricking my eyes.

"Angel called me last night. She was ranting and told me not to hang up, so I couldn't get to it." I missed the eye rolls and the silent scoffs that were passed around the group.

"You could've told her you had something to do." Marcel pointed out as the game had begun.

"She wouldn't be happy about it. I don't like upsetting her." I placed down the first card, nudging Brian to place his next. "I'll try to get it done before dinner."

"There's no pressure, L/n. Take your time." Jonathan reassured me, giving me a soft smile. His smile quickly melted away and before I could ask why tan arms wrapped around my shoulders.

"Y/n!" Angel, my girlfriend of one month, exclaimed. She pecked my lips, smiling happily. "Good morning, baby."

"Mornin', Ang." Looking back down at the table, I noticed it was my turn again and a plus two was laid before me. "Oh, you motherfuckers!" Everyone laughed as I pulled two cards from the deck.

"Don't curse, Y/n." Angel lightly patted my shoulder, giving me an admonishing frown. "It's just a game."

"Sorry, babe. It's just that my friends," I threw out a mock glare, "are little shits."

"I was wondering if you could walk me to my locker." I glanced over at my friends before looking at her. "Please, Y/n!"

"I really want to finish this game." I tried to reason, looking in the green eyes of my lover. "Can you wait until the second bell?"

"Y/n, I want to get there before Samantha and April do so we can catch up on some stuff." Seeing that I was still hesitating, she frowned again. "I bet Raymond would walk me to my locker." I turned back around, trying to hide my hurt expression.

"Yeah, I'll walk you." She clapped in excitement as I set my cards down. "See y'all at lunch." I tried to put on a smile, but it felt forced more than anything. Angel wrapped her hand around mine, leading me away from my friends.

Lately, I've been becoming less happy with Angel. She would give me little bits of an insult, leaving me to wonder if she meant it or not. And whenever I wouldn't let her have her way, she would just grow cold and serious.

But, I still liked her. She meant a lot to me. So, I took everything with stride.

My friends, on the other hand, didn't. Back at the table, all of them grew frustrated and angry with our relationship.

"I fucking hate her," Tyler growled, slamming down a blue card onto the deck.

"Join the club." Marcel sneered, glaring as Angel and I disappeared around the corner. "What does he see in her?"

"Maybe he's just staying for the sex." David pointed out, cursing quietly as a plus four was placed down.

"Y/n's too insecure for sex." Brian countered, crossing his arms. "Remember what happened when he had his fall out with Kyle? The whole reason it started was because Y/n refused to fuck him."

"Whatever it is, I hope it's good enough to justify her shitty behavior." Lui cut in, leaning against Evan. "Though, I doubt there's anything that really can justify it."

"We just gotta trust Y/n for now, guys." Brock sent everyone a reassuring glance. "I'm sure he knows what's best for him."

---

"Happy Valentine's Day!" I cheered, carrying an assortment of flowers and chocolates to my friends.

"Whoa!"

"Chocolate!"

"Holy shit!"

"Oh my God!" Various noises of surprise came from them as I placed the stash on the table, grinning proudly.

"Let me hand them out first, children." They went quiet as I started passing around gift cards with a gift attached.

For Evan, I stayed true to his simplistic nature and got him a bouquet of various red flowers. Jonathan received a chocolate box full of bear shaped candies. I got Lui and Brock assorted flowers, which were in almost every shade of the rainbow. Brian and Craig got Starbucks gift cards while I got David and Marcel Visa gift cards.

The last gift was for Tyler, but it was hidden in a plain, black box.

"Okay, open that one under the table." He did as I said and once he opened it, he started laughing loudly. I started laughing at his reaction, slapping the table.

"Y/n, you didn't!" He pulled out a blue dildo, about the size of his forearm. Brock quickly rushed to hide it, laughing along with the rest of us.

After the short laughing fit, they began to read the cards I gave them, either tearing up or smiling at my genuine messages.

"Happy Valentine's Day, Y/n!" Angel gave me a kiss on the mouth, which made me flustered.

"Ah, Angel! Not in front of the guys!" She pulled back, looking dejected. "Sorry, but you know I don't like kissing in front of other people."

"But it's Valentine's Day!" She pressed, slowly getting visibly angry with me. "Shouldn't we be making out all day?"

"I'm just not comfortable with it." She gave me a glare and I sighed, getting sad. "Sorry, Angel."

"No... Don't be. Just-- Did you get me anything?" I lit up, seeing the opportunity to cheer her up.

"Actually, yeah! It's at my house right now, so if you wanna come over later--"

"You mean to tell me that you don't have a gift to give me during the school day?" I shut my mouth, looking at her in confusion. The table around us went silent.

"Is that 'boyfriend protocol' or something?" She huffed frustratedly, taking a step back and crossing her arms.

"Uh, yes! How am I gonna show everyone how good of a boyfriend you are if you don't have a gift during school hours?"

"I don't think you'd need to flaunt around how good of a boyfriend I am if you already know it." I shrugged, trying to keep the tears at bay. "I'm no genius or anything, but I think I'm a very good boyfriend."

"Nevermind, Y/n. I'm going to class." She hissed, storming off. I clenched my fists, trying not to cry in front of my friends.

"Don't listen to her, Y/n." Lui comforted, leading me back to the table. "She's probably on her period or something."

"I made her a painting of us. I worked hard on it and everything." My voice cracked as I folded my arms and laid my head down on them. "I thought she would appreciate it."

"I don't think you guys should keep dating." Evan rubbed my back while talking to me. "You both clearly aren't happy in this situation."

"No, no. I'll figure it out. I really want to keep dating her." I looked at him with a teary face. "I'm sorry for crying."

"Hey, don't be." David came over, sitting next to me. "Why are you saying sorry?"

"Are you fucking crying right now? That's for babies, Y/n! I'm not gonna date a man who cries like a damn baby after an argument." Angel ranted, pointing at my face.

"I have no clue." I lied, rubbing my eyes harshly.

---

y/ntheactualgod has logged onto: what's jon's sexuality??

y/ntheactualgod: DHSJSK WHO CHANGED THE GROUPCHAT NAME

miniladd: IT WAS ME

h20delirious:

FUCK ALL OF YOU

h20delirious changed the chat name to: craig has a micropenis

y/ntheactualgod: and i oop

iamwildcat: y/n if you say "and i oop" one more time i'm going to freak the fuck out

y/ntheactualgod: A N D I OOP

moosnuckel: now you gotta beat them up tyler you said it yourself

iamwildcat: i'm gonna kick your ass as soon as we get to school tomorrow

y/ntheactualgod: do it pussy

vanossgaming: can i record it for my channel?

basicallyidowrk: they're gonna be the next logan paul and ksi

thegamingterroriser: but who's who?

y/ntheactualgod: call dibs on being ksi

iamwildcat: call dibs on being ksi F U CK I DON'T WANNA BE LOGAN PAUL

daithidenogla: sucks to suck

y/ntheactualgod: hold on, angel's messaging me

---

angelbabycakes: Y/N Y/N Y/N

y/ntheactualgod: what's up sugar

angelbabycakes: can i come over?

y/ntheactualgod: to hang out at like 2 AM?

angelbabycakes: not to hang out silly i wanna take our relationship to the next level

---

I felt my heart stop in my chest as I read over what she sent me.

---

y/ntheactualgod: oh. um, hold on

---

y/ntheactualgod: ANGEL WANTS TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHAT DO I DO?????

basicallyidowrk: SEND US A SCREENSHOT

y/ntheactualgod: unknown.png

h20delirious: oh my god

luicalibre: do u wanna have sex with her?

y/ntheactualgod: uhhhhh not really if i'm being honest ITS NOT THAT I DONT LIKE HER I LOVE ANGEL BUT IM NOT READY FOR SEX

miniladd: that's fine y/n! nothing to be worried about. just tell her how you feel

---

y/ntheactualgod: im sorry angel, but im not ready for that yet

angelbabycakes: look out ur window :)

---

"She didn't," I whispered in horror, rushing to go peek out the window. In my backyard stood my girlfriend of three months, who smiled up at me. I saw her put her phone to her ear and my phone lit up with a call from her. Answering it with shaky hands, I looked down at her through the window.

"Hey, baby! Can you let me in?"

"Angel, I love you a lot, but I can't do this." My voice trembled with anxiety as I saw her face be pulled into a frown. "I'm so sorry, honey, but I just can't have sex with anyone right now."

"Why not! I've been dating your sorry ass for three months! The least you could do is make it worth my while!"

"Angel, I--" She let out an enraged yell, picking up one of my lawn chairs and throwing it across my backyard. I watched in horror as she practically messed up my backyard. "Angel, please stop!"

"I'm tired of dating your wimpy ass! I don't deserve to be with such an ungrateful boyfriend." And she hung up on me, storming out of my yard. My hands were shaking so hard, I dropped my phone. Sinking to the floor, I stuck my head into my knees and started sobbing.

Was I crying of fear or heartbreak? I couldn't even tell.

---

"Good morning, Y/n!" I yelped loudly as David clapped his hand on my shoulder. He pulled his hand away, looking at me concerned.

"Oh, hey David." My voice was scratchy from a lack of sleep, but I didn't let it stop me from talking. "Sorry, you just scared me."

"I'm sorry. You look like you just saw a ghost." As we walked over to the lunch table, I kept my eyes open for Angel, becoming more paranoid the further in we walked. "Where were you this morning?"

This morning was really rough for me. I decided to skip out on sitting with my friends to hide in the bathroom, out of fear that Angel would confront me about last night.

"I had a long night. Woke up late." I lied, weakly smiling up at my friend. "Hope you guys were worried about me."

"We kinda were. Especially after what happened earlier this morning." I looked away from David, seeing that we were nearing the lunch table.

"I'm fine," I reassured to him, rushing to go sit down. I missed the unconvinced look on his face as he walked after me. "Hey, guys."

"Y/n! Where've you been?" Evan called out, grinning as I sat between him and Craig.

"Late morning," I responded, pulling out a cup of jello from my lunchbox. "Who won Uno today?"

"Lui did. He was totally cheating, though." Tyler complained, making me smile genuinely. I felt myself relax a little around them as I opened up the cup.

"You're a winner in my heart, Ty--"

"Y/n!" I couldn't help but jump harshly as Angel called out my name. I managed to squeeze all the jello out of the cup and all over my hand. Angel's tan arms wrapped around my shoulders and she moved to peck my cheek. "I didn't see you this morning."

Was she choosing to forget about what had happened?

"Uh... I woke up late." I stuttered, looking at my now ruined jello. "Sorry."

"You should really be more responsible, Y/n." As she picked her hand up to move a piece of my hair, I couldn't help the tiny flinch. Luckily she didn't notice. "You wanna come over later to watch some Netflix?" She gave me a look similar to the one she wore last night when she first stood in my backyard, letting me know what she was implying.

"I'm sorry, Angel, but I got--"

"Let me guess. Homework? A recording session? Friends coming over?" She took her arms away from my shoulders, giving me a harsh glare. "You never have time for me."

"Angel, not here," I whispered, looking at the eyes of my friends watching us talk.

"Don't give me that BS, L/n! You don't care about me anymore!" She stood up to her full height, putting her hands on her hips. "Don't talk to me unless you wanna apologize." And she stomped away again, leaving me behind with an empty cup of jello and a hand covered in it.

"I'll be right back," I muttered, scared that I was going to start crying in front of the whole cafeteria. I speed-walked to the nearest bathroom and locked myself in a stall. I let the tears slip down my cheeks and silently cried my heart out. My jello covered hand stained my shirt, but at the time, I didn't really care.

"Y/n? Are you in here?" I went silent, hoping that Brock would go away. "Y/n, I can see you sitting in there."

"Go away." My voice broke midsentence as Brock's footsteps came closer to my stall.

"Y/n, we just wanna help you." Jonathan came over as well. "Please come out."

"I-- I can't!" I yelled, feeling broken. "I'm trying so hard to make her happy and she just can't accept it! I've been letting her do as she pleases and it feels like she doesn't even listen to me. I don't want to cuddle with her and then she stops talking to me! I don't give her a gift during Valentine's Day at school and she yells at me! I say I don't want to have sex with her and she proceeds to trash my backyard! I'm so tired of not being enough!" I was gasping for air near the end, recognizing that I was starting to have another anxiety attack. I quickly unlocked the door and smashed into the nearest person's chest, sobbing heavily. They wrapped their arms around me, swaying back and forth as I let out month's worth of tears.

"We're here, Y/n. We've got you." Brian whispered. I felt another pair of arms wrap around us and soon, everyone joined in on the hug.

And for the first time in months, I felt safe and secure.

Once my crying had dialed down, we all separated. I wiped my face with my sleeve, trying to remove any remnants of tears.

"I'm sorry."

"Stop saying you're sorry for crying. There's no reason for you to say sorry when you're this mentally torn about something." Craig gave me a stern glare, holding me by the shoulders. "Why do you say sorry every time you cry?"

"I... I've been told that crying is considered being babyish." Evan huffed, rolling his eyes at me.

"So what? Showing emotions isn't being a baby. It's being genuine. If you hide your emotions, then you're just equivalent to a robot. You should be happy that you can express yourself so well. As cool as it would be to be a robot, I think it would get pretty boring." I smiled a little, sniffing.

"You think?"

"He's right, Y/n. Craig's expressive, but he lifts like a damn champion. And Tyler screams like a preteen, but he's just as strong as anyone else."

"Hey!" We all laughed at that.

"The point is is that you shouldn't feel bad for being emotional. It's a part of who you are." I nodded, feeling confident in myself. "Now, if I were to guess correctly, I'm assuming Angel told you that." My smile quickly changed to a frown.

"How'd you know?" I asked Marcel, to which Jonathan snorted at me.

"Your girlfriend's a douchebag, Y/n. I'm sorry, but it's the Gospel Truth." I just sighed, leaning against the wall.

"I know. But I love her." Brock grabbed my face gently, making me look in his eyes.

"Think of every moment you had with her that was happy." I looked up, trying to recall every moment.

When I asked her out. Our first date. The day we went on a road trip. Her aunt's wedding. My birthday.

"Now think of every moment that you weren't happy with her."

Our first fight. Meeting my parents. Valentine's Day. LAST NIGHT. NOT EVEN TWO MINUTES AGO--

"I have to go," I muttered, a sense of urgency and determination running through me. I slinked past everyone, rushing out of the bathroom and to the lunch room. They all followed me as I walked over to Angel's lunch table, where she turned to face me.

"Are you here to apologize?" I didn't even get to open my mouth when she spoke. "Well, too bad. I'm still angry--"

"No! I'm tired of doing what you tell me!" I cut her off, balling up my fists. "Last night, you trashed my backyard because I wouldn't fuck you! And you just yelled at me for saying no to hanging out after school. I've been doing everything for you when you wouldn't even do half of it for me!" The cafeteria went silent as I was speaking, watching us argue. And for once, I didn't care who saw me.

"How dare you, Y/n! I fucking love you!" She started tearing up, fake tears to get sympathy from me. "You're going to break up with me?!"

"Uh, yeah? Was that not clear?!" She closed her mouth, shocked by my rage. "If you fucking loved me then you would've respected the fact that I didn't want sex! You would've accepted my gift during Valentine's Day and you would've respected my wishes throughout the year of me saying no! But you didn't. Instead, you manipulated me continuously with no hesitation and it's because you can't seem to get in your tiny brain that not everyone owes you anything!" Tears leaked from my eyes, but this time, I didn't care who saw. "I'm done, Angel. I want everything I ever gave you back."

"You can't do that!" She grabbed my wrist, looking into my eyes. "Y/n, I love you!"

I looked down at my now ex-girlfriend, ripping my hand away from her.

"No, you don't." And with that, I left her behind, once and for all.

As I exited the cafeteria, I watched Lui come up and clap me on the shoulder, smiling at me.

"You did good, Y/n." I smiled. And it felt really great as a whole new feeling blossomed in my chest.

"Yeah. I did, huh?" Freedom. That's what this was. Freedom from months of torture. I wiped away tears, not feeling ashamed for shedding them. "You guys wanna go ditch for some Hardee's?"

"Hell yeah!"

"Alright!"

"Yes!"

"Sure."

"Cool!"

"I'm down."

"I call shotgun!"

"I'm taking my car!" As the others rushed out, Craig stayed behind, turning to look at me.

"Are you okay?" Linking our arms together, I sighed happily.

"I'm feeling great."

Magic and Miracles and BEYOND Chapter 7

YA’LL I’M SO SORRY. I didn’t forget about this I swear, I just got hella distracted by life and a million other things BUT I’M BACK. And I know this is a short chapter but trust me, MORE is coming. So I would just like to say this cruise ship is based off of Royal Carribean’s Syphony of the Seas and almost all these pictures are from the Royal Carribean site, which usually sails the Carribean but for the purposes of this story, it’s going to Hawii and something similar is going to Alaska because this is a fantasy story where I go ‘fuck you’ to reality and everyone’s happy and nothing hurts, YET. (dun dun dun). And the ship has a dog park which I don’t think the actual ship does. And Dani and the twins RETURN and they just keep spreading the baby bug. 

So @the-immortal-marshal sorry for the wait but here you go. 

AO3

Magic and Miracles and BEYOND - Chapter 7

“So? How was Disney?” Sylva asked Ada as all the girls walked into a designer dress shop as they looked for formal attire for the cruises.  

“It was amazing,” Ada sighed wistfully as she went through the rows of dresses and found a few that she liked.

“Oh good, did Luche behave himself?” Sylva asked.

“Of course, he’s been the perfect gentleman.” Ada reassured Sylva.

“Good.” Sylva nodded before they all got dozens of dresses and tried them all on.

“Oh this is gorgeous on you!” Sylva praised as she watched Ada twirl in an ivory gown that perhaps looked a touch bridal on Ada and Sylva knew that once Luche would see Ada in this gown, he’d be thinking wedding bells too and knew she just had to get it for her. “It looks divine, I absolutely insist on getting it for you and I have the perfect pearl necklace to go with it too.” Sylva urged her.

“Ok,” Ada nodded in agreement before she put on another dress, this one a brilliant aquamarine that just made her hair pop in contrast. It was perfectly gorgeous and elegant.

“And that one too.” Sylva insisted which got Ada to squeal and giggle and twirl in her dress as the other girls emerged from their dressing rooms, showing off their dresses to Sylva too, wanting to get her stamps of approval too which Sylva was more than happy to give out. And once all the girls got all the dresses they wanted and needed, Sylva was more than happy to buy them all before making sure that the guys got the proper suits and things to match on the other end of the store.

“Lu,” Sylva called out as she looked at a few shirts and ties.

“Yes?” Luche asked as he came to stand next to her.

“I’m really proud of you.” Sylva offered.

“Thank you?” Luche returned, not quite sure why she’d be proud of him.

“You’ve done really good with Ada and I wanted to make sure you knew that you were doing well.” Sylva encouraged.

“Oh, thanks.” Luche nodded.

“Now I need you to promise me something.” Sylva began and turned to make sure he was looking her in the eye before she continued. “You need to make sure you don’t have sex with her while on the cruises.” Sylva urged, dropping her voice to a soft whisper so that only Luche could hear her.

“Uh, ok.” Luche frowned in confusion, he had thought that would have been a given.

“I know it seems silly right now, but trust me, on the boat, wearing what she will be wearing, it’ll be a temptation and it’s of paramount importance that you make an honest woman out of her. She cheated once and from here on out, if she cheats on Cor with you, it’ll form a habit that will spell disaster for you both. Just trust me on this. Don’t kiss her, don’t give her any carnal pleasures whatsoever. This will be a new start for you both, give yourselves the best start you can, and that starts with respecting her and her current relationships, however doomed they may be. You need to do the right thing. Not what ‘feels right’ in the moment. But the right and proper thing over all.” Sylva urged before she got Ravus’ attention and brought him over.

“Ravus, I’m trying to make a point to Luche, when Selena was with Pelna and you two were getting close, did you two ever cross the line physically before her relationship with Pelna ended?” Sylva asked lowly.

“No, not at all, and I’m glad we didn’t. I mean it sucked, like a lot in those moments because there were so many times I wanted to, I would have given everything for it but looking back means that neither of us have any regrets with the way we got together and respecting her relationship with Pelna then- means that my relationship with her is respected now. It’s something you have to do if you don’t want the past repeating itself and I know Selena is much happier with herself and rests easy because of it too.” Ravus urged Luche.

“I don’t see why you’re making such a big deal about this, I knew going in that it would have to be like that.” Luche assured them.

“Did Ada get a white dress for the cruise or something?” Ravus asked his mother, trying to figure out what would prompt his mother to have this conversation before it dawned on him.

“Ivory. Wedding bells were going off in my own head when I saw her in it. She’s lovely, just, stay strong Lu, your future depends on it.” Sylva repeated as she grabbed Luche by the upper arms and shook him a little to emphasize her point with a laugh.

“Really?” Luche asked, a dopey grin spreading across his face.

“Yeah, you’re gonna have fun. Just, not too much fun.” Sylva narrowed her eyes playfully before she made sure all the guys were squared away too.

The next morning they were all in the terminal including Johnny, Anna and the twins and Dani, who had sorely missed Ravus and Selena who in turn had sorely missed them and outright refused to put down the twins, Selena commandeering Gabby as Ravus kept Izzy and Dani as they were waiting to board the cruise ship, all the dogs on leashes since the cruise ship had a dog park and a cat lounge on board and accommodations for dogs including a dog daycare so Ada wouldn’t have to be separated from Baxter, Crowe and Libertus could take Otis, Pashmina and Gladio could take Dianna and the Nox Fleuret- Caelums could take Pryna and Umbra and even Duchess was in a deluxe cat carrier, and Iris and Craig could take Noche since all the dogs had been traveling with the young adults all summer.

Sylva had gotten everyone suites, however with Ada being an add on and Hazel and Titus joining them too. It was a push to have everyone more or less together and on the same floor at least. Sylva was only slightly evil and mostly scheming, making sure Luche and Ada had side by side rooms where they could both sit on their balconies and see each other and talk to each other. This new cruise ship had everything. It had rock climbing walls, water sports simulators, it’s own water park, a traditional as well as an open dining option with over a dozen restaurants and buffets and golf, both a mini golf course and a golfing drive simulator, bumper cars, laser tag, an arcade that rivaled Dave and Busters, sports courts, an obstacle course, a sky diving simulator, zip lines, two trampoline parks, one was a traditional one and the other was with the harness and bungee chords so you would really jump high and even a trapeze school that had gymnastic equipment and a dozen different niche clubs and concert halls, ice skating, an escape room, a casino, dozens of shops on the boardwalk and throughout the ship, an out of this world spa and a bunch of other amenities that every active teenager and young adult could possibly want including loads of things for Dani and even a daycare for the twins. It was perfect.

Sylva got everyone’s boarding passes and room keys handed them out before they all waited to board, most of them thankfully having games on their phones and tablets as Sylva, Lunafreya, Ravus, Luche and Ignis did some last minute business for Miracles from their laptops while Regis caught up with Noctis. Ravus only having a little trouble since Izzy was in a carrier strapped to his chest and Dani draped herself across his lap and shoulder and cuddled into his chest while he reached around both of them to type on his laptop. 

“So how are you doing Hun?” Titus asked as he and Ada sat down side by side as Hazel was doing some last minute business of her own on her own laptop from her spot next to Sylva at the computer table, one of dozens that was specifically built that had dozens of outlets so that the laptops and cell phones and other electronics could charge while the guests waited to board the ship.

“Doing much better.” Ada smiled happily as she had Baxter laying on her lap as Titus pet Baxter too. “How was the wine tour?” Ada asked Titus curiously.

“I couldn’t tell the fucking difference between the cheap stuff and the good stuff, wine is wine in my book, the whole time I couldn’t help thinking…‘I could go for a whiskey right about now’, beer on the other hand, that’s more my speed, a good porter or stout and I’m good to go and thankfully there was plenty of that too.” Titus chuckled which got Ada to snicker a laugh. “But it made Hazel happy and we had a lot of fun and I’m glad we went,” Titus shrugged but smiled happily nonetheless since he hadn’t gotten a real vacation in..he couldn’t remember when. “Got to have a lot of really good cheese and charcuterie though and all the food was outstanding. Granted, not as good as Hazel can make it but pretty close.” Titus appraised because to him, Hazel was the best chef ever and made everything great and it was hard for any food to equal hers since she was his gold standard.

“Aw, I’m glad you had fun. The gang took me to Disneyland. That was epic and awesome and amazing and I got my real first spa day the day before and I felt like jelly afterwards.” Ada informed him proudly.

“Oh so you got your ears? Your Mickey or I guess in your case Mini ears?” Titus gently teased.

“Several pairs, yes.” Ada nodded. “And then we got to go to the beach and splash in the Pacific Ocean and go surfing. I think I swallowed half the ocean and seaweed touched my leg and I screamed bloody murder because I thought it was a jellyfish or a shark and I climbed Luche like a tree and nearly accidentally drowned him trying to get away from it.” Ada began as Titus barked a deep belly laugh just imagining that. “It was really hilarious, everyone laughed and it was recorded on the waterproof go-pros.” Ada giggled. “And then Tredd found a dead slash rotting fish on the beach and tormented everyone with it before Yasmine and the tothers beat his ass that he was gonna make Crowe miscarry because of how many diseases were probably crawling on it.” Ada recounted.

“Good for her.” Titus grinned proudly.

“And then we had a bonfire and a BBQ right on the beach too and charted a big fishing boat and went fishing and then Noctis and his band did a few shows over the weekend which were amazing, because when they weren’t on stage, which even when they were, I got to do back up vocals which was epic and we got to enjoy the rest of the concerts and go back stage and meet all the other bands and hang out and get pictures and get autographs and merch from the other bands and I got to help with the band merch so that all of us could take shifts and have breaks and stuff and that was really fun and we made money hand over fist. And everyone has gotten along really well and there wasn’t any fighting or arguing about anything. And we’ve all been taking care of each other and Craig’s been doing most of the cooking and he is an outstanding cook, like, Nyx and Libertus can cook really great too and there have been so many times where we just raid a Sam's Club and we cook for ourselves instead of going out to eat for every meal and between Pashmina, Yasmine and Pelna cooking a lot of Indian food, I mean their chicken curry and tiki marsala is phenomenal, and their chicken Biryani rice is outstanding and Luna, Rae and Stella all do wonderful French cooking and Iris and Gladio bring the Spanish flavors and Cindy, I know she doesn’t look it but she has a Paula Dean in her and she makes pies, from scratch, like old fashioned, flaky crust pies made with lard, that are better than any bakery and she’s gotten all of us into it and Selena and Nyx bring a lot of the Mediterranean flavors and they make the best baklava and pitas and hummus and all kinds of stuff. And even Tredd cooks, he makes the best mashed potatoes, actually potatoes period he makes all the potatoes the best, not to be racist but because he’s Irish, I think it runs in his blood and mac and cheese with so much cheddar. And Libertus is of course Italian so he’s made fresh pasta and these sauces from scratch that take like two to three days to make but they’re the best ever. And Iggy orchestrates all of us between the two kitchens on the bus and even on the girls bus there’s an electric smoker so we smoke a lot of foods, like salmon and cheese and of course every meat imaginable and make our own jerky and Iggy makes the best coffee, I don’t know how he does it but he does and it’s amazing and Luche and I just do whatever everyone else tells us to do. I swear I think I’ve gained like ten pounds since I’ve been with them, I’ve eaten so much, but it’s all been so good.” Ada beamed happily.

“So has Lu been behaving himself?” Titus asked curiously.

“Oh yeah, he’s been the perfect gentleman. Like perfect.” Ada answered with fawning, adoring smile and a wistful sigh and Titus cocked a half grin at that. Ada still loved him too. He supposed it was inevitable. Like moth to a flame but he wasn’t sure who was the moth and who was the flame at this point.

“Good.” Titus nodded.

“Oh and then the guys had a video interview! That was the best! Did you see it?” Ada asked as she pulled her phone out and showed Titus the video on YouTube.

“Hi I’m Laney for Rock360 and I’m with the Chocobros! Say hi guys!” Laney invited before they all waived to the camera, Noctis, a little awkwardly still.

“So anyone who knows you, knows you got your start performing for kids at Miracle Hospital and your videos went viral and you’ve gained quite a bit of notoriety on the circuit and in the rocker community for being as diverse and as inclusive as yours is and the band it seems, fluctuates because sometimes, it’s the four of you and other times there’s like a dozen people on stage, what can you tell me about that?” Laney asked.

“Well, how that started is some venues want to see the girls that they saw in videos so that’s where we ask the girls for guest appearances.” Ignis explained.

“Aww, that’s really great that they can do that. And speaking with the other bands I understand that your crew is unique and that the only people who are actually hired are your drivers, otherwise it’s just you and your friends and it’s noted that it’s very much like a family and you’re all pretty close knit.” Laney noted.

“Yeah we are, it’s awesome, it’s us and our significant others which is great and we all get along and take care of each other.” Gladio grinned proudly.

“Now I also know that there is a lucky charm.” Laney giggled.

“Yes! That’s Crowe, she got pregnant right in the beginning of the tour so right before we go on stage we pat the bebeh belly for good luck.” Prompto answered before the camera cut to Crowe behind the scenes eating a doughnut and waived as Libertus pet her belly to illustrate.

“And that’s Libertus, her fiance, he’s the proud father, obviously.” Prompto beamed as Libertus nodded ‘yes’ emphatically and gave a double thumbs up with a bright cheesy grin around his own stuffed cheeks since he was eating doughnuts too. 

“Aww, that’s adorable.” Laney fawned before she continued to talk to them about their music and their songs and what their songs meant to them and how fun their tour had been and what other bands they had been performing with before they ended the interview.

“Aw, that’s awesome.” Titus grinned proudly before they boarded the cruise ship and got to their rooms. Ada squealing in delight at how magnificent her suite was, especially since she got it all to herself, well kind of, she had Baxter with her and that’s all she could ever ask for, there were already food and water dishes set up for him too. This next week was going to be heaven. She unpacked her carry on bag and by the time she was done, her luggage got delivered and once that was all put away she rejoined the rest of the group, dropping Baxter off at the on board doggy daycare, sticking close to Luche and Titus as they explored the ship before hitting up one of the buffets.

“So has Cor ever told you why he never wanted kids?” Ada asked Titus who nearly choked on his spit and tripped over his own feet as he felt his soul leave his body to go to the astral plane for just a moment to have a mini freak out as he then tried to grab Cor from the astral plane to come here and have this conversation with her because while he felt like a father figure. This was just...not his area of comfortable conversation topics but Regis was too far away to pull into this to deal with this, Regis was better at this kind of thing but if Ada felt comfortable enough to bring this up, he needed to handle this with care.

“Sweetie, I think he’s seen too much of the worst of humanity to try to bring life into the world, at least, that’s what he’s told me, why?” Titus asked.

“Just, with Crowe being pregnant the baby bug is going around.” Ada shrugged as she then looked over at Selena who had Gabby on her hip while she piled her own plate with food for the both of them while Ravus held Izzy and did the same while also helping Dani with her plate and the five of them already looked like the perfect family and Ada felt a pang of jealousy while also noticing how Luche was also helping Dani and was doting on her too and Ada felt like she was seeing a glimpse of what he would be like as a wonderful father too and it both warmed while rendered her heart a bit because she wanted that too but she couldn’t have it.

“Well don’t let it bite you too hard. Babies are a lot of work, they’re loud and messy and stressful and will change your life forever.” Titus gently warned her with a slight air of a teasing tone even though he could see from his vantage point, Hazel talking with Crowe and when Hazel touched Crowe’s belly and just the look in her eyes and the expression on her face that she was getting bit by the baby bug and for the first time in his life, the baby bug bit him too and his slight panic at Ada mentioning babies suddenly vanished and was replaced by the urge and need to make a baby with Hazel, but he would have to make sure they were both in a position to feel safe enough to do so. Because while he was getting older, he wasn’t that old, not yet. 

“Besides, you’re still pretty young, how about you try getting to the legal drinking age in this country and enjoy your youth without kids first.” Titus gently encouraged Ada before he sat down with Hazel and he was just struck by how adorable their kids would be. So he just picked up her hand and kissed her knuckles sweetly as Hazel practically melted in her seat.

Truth be told, she was getting bit by the baby bug pretty hard too and it wasn’t the first time it bit, but it was the first time it bit with Titus and suddenly her mind started whirling with all of the possibilities. There was just two problems, 1. Gil. 2. Charlie. There’s no way with them still so close that she’d ever get the chance to have a family of her own. A relationship was already pushing it. Maybe Cor had what it took to end it. She was hoping that with all of them being gone, he would throw himself into his work unimpeded and not distracted by anything or anyone and finally be able to end this once and for all and with herself being out of the picture, she could distance herself. He had the next two weeks to do just that and she hoped he could do it, for all their sakes.

“Ok guys, who’s up for the rock wall?” Titus challenged the guys after they finished eating and went over to the rock wall, Titus and all the guys getting tethered in to race each other.

“Ok? Ready? Set? Go!” The climbing instructor challenged as they all raced up the walls, Ravus, Nyx, Luche and Titus got an early lead with Gladio, Prompto, Noctis and Ignis barely getting up there as the girls cheered them on, Regis cheering his sons and Titus on as Sylva was cheering everyone on while Hazel cheered for Titus the loudest but only seconded by Ada cheering on Luche. 

“How the hell are you climbing so fast?” Luche, Ravus and Nyx asked Titus as they watched him race up the wall with surprising agility for a man his size as they did their best to navigate the wall. But Titus had a trick up his sleeve, he had studied his wall from the moment he saw it and had mentally already mapped out his route and suddenly Hazel wasn’t the loudest cheerer, Regis was. Regis was because he wanted Titus to beat the younger kids to prove that age and wisdom sometimes gave you the advantage over youth and brute strength and in record time, Titus won by being the first to ring his bell at the top but Ravus and Nyx tied for second only a second later as they both held onto the wall and looked out over the sea and then looked down at the crowd below and waived before they went back down just as Luche and Gladio tied for third to reach the top, followed by Ignis who was fourth. Prompto and Noctis, Pelna and Libertus all tied for last. Sylva and Regis having to coach them on which foot holds and hand holds to use and Regis had an ice cold beer waiting for Titus when he came down.

“And to the victor goes the spoils.” Regis beamed proudly as Titus barked a deep laugh as he took it and quickly and easily drank it down as Regis drank one himself.

“Seriously, how did you do that Coach?” Nyx asked in astonishment.

“Study the wall, see? Look at your wall, it’s not random, see- there’s a pattern, see the zig zag?” Titus pointed out on Nyx’s wall, making sure Nyx followed his line of sight.

“Oh!” Nyx, Ravus, Luche and Gladio all groaned as they mentally figured out how they could have climbed their walls better.

“Rematch!” Nyx insisted just as Libertus came down his wall.

“No! I’m done, one was enough for me.” Libertus complained.

“I’ll go again.” Ravus offered.

“Me too.” Gladio and Luche added with grins, Luche agreeing if only to hear Ada cheering for him again. He had missed that more than words could say.

The second time around, all four boys were within hundredths of seconds between each other as they had taken Drautos’ advice and taken a moment as another round of competitors had used the walls to study the walls and mentally map out their plan of attack with great success before they all got dressed in their bathing suits and enjoyed the on board water park. It was going to be one hell of a week.

Here We Go Again chapter 8

http://archiveofourown.org/works/11776227/chapters/27687576

Twas a week before Christmas, and all through the cul-de-sac, kids were off school and their parents tried to hit the sack. Maple Bay, Maine was sitting tight under a foot of snow and counting. Coincidentally, it was also the day that was supposed to be the last day of school before Christmas break, so the kids of the neighborhood were celebrating an extra day of break by building snowmen on the cul-de-sac itself. Lucien and Ernest had paired up with their respective fathers in building snow forts and had declared war against each other.

Thankfully, Amanda had gotten home from her finals a few days before the big storm hit and had instigated guerilla warfare against both parties and somehow roped Craig into it. Michael watched proudly as his girls and bros ran around throwing snowballs at unsuspecting victims. He was helping River build tiny snowmen. And by helping, he would help her make snowballs, stack them, and then River would knock them down.

Brian and his daughter, Daisy, eventually made their own snow fort (which was, of course, bigger than the other two). He threw bigger snowballs, too. Mat Sella brewed copious amounts of hot chocolate and handed out mugs to parents when they took breaks from their kids’ antics. Carmensita went and teamed up with Brian and Daisy. Joseph, Mary, and their kids built snowmen in their yard with somewhat terrifying faces. Robert wandered around sabotaging all the teams in what had become a four way war between the neighborhood.

Sometime in the early afternoon, Michael went back inside with River and lay down for a nap. He was pregnant, after all, and not generally up for constant activity the way his kids or bro were. He was just about to fall asleep when he felt… something like gas rumble in his stomach. His eyes flew open and his hands went to his abdomen. His babies were kicking. A lot. Another set of athletes, he thought with amusement.

He was suddenly wide awake and he rushed outside to see Craig messing around in the snow with the twins.

“Craig,” he shouted. Craig looked up and Michael gestured him over to the door. Craig walked over. He was about to ask what was wrong, but he saw Michael’s excited face. It was a good thing.

“What’s up, bro?” he asked.

Michael didn’t say anything but took his hand and placed it on his abdomen. The babies were still kicking around, thankfully. He watched Craig’s eyes widen and he knelt on the ground and pressed his ear to his bro’s stomach, closed his eyes, and listened. Michael looked down at his bro and cradled his head. Craig looked up and said, “That’s… incredible, bro. You’re incredible.”

Across the way, some of the other dads started looking over with a bit of concern at Craig kneeling in front of Michael. Hugo was the first on the scene.

“Umm… sorry to interrupt, don’t mean to be rude,” he said, “but is everything okay here?”

“Oh, yeah, we’re fine,” Michael said blushing. Totally from the cold, not from embarrassment. That would be silly. “Craig’s just, um, you know, feeling the babies kick.”

Hugo’s eyes widened. “The babies? You’re pregnant?”

Craig stood up and grinned, taking Michael’s hand in his. “Yeah, dude, we’re unexpectedly expecting.”

Hugo smiled and shook their hands. “Congratulations,” he said. “I mean it. I’m happy for both of you.”

Hugo wandered off and Michael looked up at Craig and smiled. “I guess we’re announcing it to the neighborhood, now?”

Craig kissed his forehead. “I mean, if you want to, bro,” he replied. “It’s your choice.”

“Michael kissed Craig’s freezing lips. “I absolutely want to announce to the whole world that I’m having our little hybrid bros.”

“I love you so much,” Craig said. “Our little hybrid bros are going to be beautiful.”

They made the rounds, telling each dad on the cul-de-sac the news. Damien actually jumped up and down excitedly and invited him over for tea one day soon to discuss the baby. Joseph and Mary congratulated them. Joseph offered cookies and Mary jokingly offered wine. Brian gave them both a hug and offered to build a crib for them if River wasn’t out of hers by the time the baby arrived. Robert was legitimately stunned but offered his (only a bit awkward) congratulations. Mat was the most surprised and offered them free Right Said Banana Bread once the coffee shop was back open.

They finally got back inside the house where it was warm and started a fire in the fireplace. Amanda and the girls were already in there continuing where they left off with Warehouse 13. She had gotten all the Cahns hooked on the show and it was something she was quite proud of. They sat in the warm comfort of their home, the tree festive and bright, drinking hot chocolate with marshmallows. Craig was constantly leaning down to place his ear to Michael’s stomach to see if the baby was active. Michael laughed at him occasionally, suggesting that he could let Craig know if the baby was moving around. Eventually they settled in, with Michael resting his head on Craig’s lap. *******************************************************************************

Christmas Eve was a day of celebration. At the Cahn household, it was a day of rest. Michael persuaded Craig to take it easy. All the shopping was done, the gifts were all wrapped and put away to mysteriously appear Christmas morning. Snow was still on the ground and the girls reveled playing snowy games with other kids in the cul-de-sac while Amanda took pictures.

It was admittedly strange to spend Christmas in a state where it wasn’t 70 or 80 degrees. And a white Christmas, at that. Of course, Michael’s family always insisted on going to church for the Christmas Eve service, something which Michael didn’t necessarily get anything out of, but he humored his family. This year, he was with Craig, who though friends with Joseph, didn’t feel particularly inclined to attend church, especially if the people there were going to give his family looks just because of his relationship with Michael.

I guess it’s time for some new Christmas traditions, Michael thought.

Eventually the kids came back inside to find Michael and Craig reading a recipe on making ginger bread. Fairly successfully, too.

“What’s all this, dad?” Briar said jumping up on a stool to look at what they were doing.

“My bro had this idea that we should make gingerbread houses,” Craig said, kneading the dough so the ingredients would be evenly spread throughout. “We’re almost done with the dough, you wanna help us with the icing?”

“Yes!” she cried.

“Can we eat the icing?” Hazel asked.

“Good job, Hazel,” Michael said, pointing a wooden spoon at her. “Asking important questions. Eventually. We need the icing to stick the walls and stuff together.”

Michael and the twins collectively hovered over one of those electric mixers. Between the three of them they managed to get enough of the mixture into the pastry bag. Then they settled on the couch to watch Nightmare Before Christmas while the dough cooled in the fridge. About halfway through the movie, the oven dinged signaling that the gingerbread was done. The five of them piled into the kitchen to assemble the houses. Amanda was put in charge of the icing since she was an artist and had a steady hand.

Unfortunately, they had to wait 8 hours to actually decorate the houses, which provided the perfect opportunity for trip to the grocery store candy decorations and a Christmas movie marathon, which also included various Christmas episodes from TV shows they liked.

Finally, the 8 hours were up and they were able to actually get to the fun part of the gingerbread house project. Hazel and Briar raced to the island and excitedly started putting candies on the gingerbread house. It was a magical moment. Hazel and Briar put gumdrops, red hots, peppermints, and caramel candy on the house. Briar took chocolate truffles and put them around the house like a fence. Amanda found a way to use leftover icing to glue candy canes outside the house to imitate trees. Craig covertly set up a camera to video tape the whole thing.

“Pops, dude, why aren’t you doing yours?” Amanda asked looking up and into the camera.

“We have two?” Michael asked.

“Yeah, we had enough dough so I made two to see if the kids could make a better house than the oldies,” she replied. River cooed and giggled, playing with Arnold. “And River.”

Sure enough, there was another gingerbread house behind the kids on the counter. There was also more than enough candy for two gingerbread houses. Craig arranged red and green gumdrops along the edges of the rooftop while Michael made cut York Peppermint patties into squares and made roof tiles out of them. He promptly ate the edges.

“Hey bro, leave some for me,” Craig said.

Michael didn’t say anything, but he put one of the edges in between his teeth and winked at him. Craig grinned and leaned in to kiss him full on the lips, snatching the candy out of his boyfriend’s mouth.

“Tasty,” he said.

“This is why I put that one behind us,” Amanda said loudly. “So they can at least be out of our sight while they’re being gross.”

“Good thinking, sis,” Hazel said. “Saved our butts with that.”

“Wanna make out on the couch when we’re done?” Michael asked.

“I’d love to, bro,” Craig said, smirking. River began kicking and fussing.

The girls chorused their distaste and Amanda took River. “See? Even River doesn’t need to see that.”

Eventually they finished, but were unable to come to a conclusion about who won their little impromptu competition. So Amanda took pictures and posted them on Facebook for people to vote for their favorite. When she was done, the twins were sent off to bed so that Santa could come around while they were asleep. River was put to bed as well. Amanda, Michael, and Craig stayed up a while longer and watched It’s a Wonderful Life.

It really is, Michael thought as he leaned in to lay his head on Craig’s shoulder.

"A Christmassy Ted" | Christmas Special | Father Ted | Dead Parrot

New Post has been published on https://hititem.kr/a-christmassy-ted-christmas-special-father-ted-dead-parrot/

"A Christmassy Ted" | Christmas Special | Father Ted | Dead Parrot

i have been doing various thinking just lately in well I I just don’t consider i’m reduce out for the priesthood I feel it’s time you and that i faced data you need us as priests within the country if now not the best safe haven sub percentage what i’m talking about don’t you yeah yeah I feel I do i’ll be off then come here here would you love a peanut peanut you stroll me down for me a peanut god do go oh sorry stated go to mattress you competent right here we go one two three whats up Dejan Oh the airhead oh wait no what good again yeah wait we get this sort of soft again again go on back Duggal just take a seat down Oh Ted can i open an extra window and the advent calendar first all right then however don’t forget you’re simply allowed to open state-of-the-art window Oh Shepherd first rate stuff oh god Ted are not able to open the other two no Dugan Ted I cannot wait to find out what’s behind the next day to come’s one I guess it can be a donkey or whatever all right so you might have transformed out of your preliminary prediction workplaces once more rude howl it can be sitting on a shared wasn’t God Almighty do go where do you get these things scorching i might say it is most commonly only a lovely angel what would you say is at the back of you Marvin to father Jack well who knows sure lady’s neck oh yes Father sure message understood God Almighty Dougal depart the calendar except the next day to come one other 12 months long gone it is rough to consider isn’t it I imply what’s all of it about Dugan good it doesn’t fairly have a story Ted you realize it’s just about football and stuff no dougela I imply existence you understand your slave away attending to the needs of your parishioners and what do you get a one-method ticket to Palookaville you realize I regarded in the reflect this morning and i noticed a center-aged grey-haired man staring again at me who used to be that me do woman oh yes of path it can be simply that I bought a Christmas card the day prior to this from father Jeff laughing he’s in Montana he makes $50,000 a yr and 2000 and pointers awesome how does he control that I do not know a lap dancing or some thing after which there’s father buzz Dolan in Canada he’s his own exhibit on cable and i hear he is landed a big phase in the new Bond movie all started for him when he received that golden cleric award let’s be nice to be famous have you learnt what i would love about being noted humans hearken to you they take heed to what you ought to say and i’ve quite a bit to assert what about when you’re doing all of your sermons Ted people take heed to you then do not they i know dude I mean folks I recognize you see you simply talked correct across me there even you do not take heed to me that’s no longer reasonable well I do are you watching forward to Christmas i’m indeed mrs.Doyle a quality quiet Christmas that is what I want a first-rate quiet Christmas without a distinguished incidents or unusual humans turning up that would go well with me all the way down to the ground a excellent quiet ordinary day-to-day Christmas oh there is the door i’m sorry is this mrs. Reilly’s residence no ed that is it simply down the road oh thanks very so much who used to be that Ted simply anybody we’re looking for Riley’s apartment she had a baby together with her for a moment I idea somebody had simply left it on our doorstep cut Ted could you imagine what would have happened if she’d left it with us yes we’ve been watching after and the whole thing and coming into all kinds of hilarious jams the entire thing would have been very very funny good it wouldn’t have been that humorous Ted definitely no and the drinks just come out here now you might have already punched on your resolution from milk and sugar so all the work is taken out of it even the state-of-the-art woman a lot of time for scheming sympathy glitch and might access coffee hot chocolate or Horlicks sure tea grasp rather takes the misery out of making tea well what do you believe probably I just like the misery for mrs.Doyle good suggestion Ted perfume is the ideal woman reward isn’t it yes that is why God invented fragrance so you do not must put any notion into whatsoever I used to stay Jack in the end oh they’ve obtained this exceptional pressed head where that you may put persons who do not wish to go looking they are able to simply stay there and have a laugh now we have on no account heard of that but there other men and women there are lots of individuals dead you can be quality perfume you suppose you’d be capable to scent it very precisely how we all know good we’re within the Hindi striking around close females secret matters it can be justice appear this manner oh no extra Underpants I imply I failed to want so many forms of Underpants huh I imply what did the parade around of them watching in mirrors always we received a little lost in the retailer that is why we’re right here gonna bit lost right here I feel that’s why you are here as good misplaced yes correct yeah that is it that is it examples you understand how over here it is ireland’s greatest Landry section I realize yeah I read that someplace the excellent strategies for us to get out of right here as rapidly as viable you understand for clergymen hanging around the freely section sure I see what you imply yeah let’s try this approach we’ve been here I recall these brows from the primary time round they all look the same to me no no these ones have double padding and the black clay sometimes lonely factor to reduce the physical games and additional-force straps for those who cross by way of a bra with a center artwork support and single pilot and the flight lace define then I think we’re on the correct track any individual’s coming to see you good not in view we have been watching for the toilet so we desired in right here with the aid of mistake it can be large it can be Ryan’s largest lingerie section I comprehend like this is the drawback we have eight clergymen striking around the lingerie part with one or two of us that’ll be embarrassing but rate we’re speaking countrywide scandal Oh the heels seem the equal proper very first thing don’t panic we’re in this factor let’s try to get out of it ok Billy i need you on factor for the clearly father D can you are taking up the again let’s go and hold it quiet I harm any individual maybe i’m just going loopy laundry section so long i do not think this sauce you are taking a rest image for the correct you go on factor however assume this kind of factor of the priest handiest two weeks in the past a good phase is to send me off to a couple bloody cat oh isn’t it i am gonna make you a promise at some point you and that i we’re gonna be in that new parish of yours sipping iced tea on the garden it can be somewhat bit only a memory can you hold onto that idea okay can you do that for me as good it is my silly fault for messing with the brass go ahead slowly sluggish you down pay attention we’re a team stick together there’s the exit thank God God appear in any respect those persons they most likely see us coming out perhaps for those who honestly purchase some Underpants then it would not seem so unusual they’re ladies’s Underpants awareness who’s received the most boring voice wash off the fanatics who’s bought probably the most boring voice this set were you inquiring for a dramatic pleasing voice no Newton said of boring he wanted an boring voice if so you have to excuse me for my impetuous interruption listen this is what we’re going to do what is going on on I think Ted has a plan no I mean customarily anyway after the laundry section females and gentlemen would you please convey your purchases to the checker because the steward selected clothes what’s mistaken Google took three lads pointing at a stare at head disappointing hi I’ve bought to do with Christmas oh honey how there is nothing within the Catholic scandal supplement in regards to the lingerie episode I suppose we bought away with it hi there Craig Holland parochial condo father Ted Crilley talking k Tom McCaskill right here hi there Tom how are you and the place are you you left a brand new north and hurry i’m in room oh when are you coming again when matters have died down a bit of I might have to head off to South the us for a while you realize she’s going to make a bloody fuck about it ah no that is now not fair catch up with you about that Lourdes factor looking a wee bit dodgy thus I washed it simply let me stop you right like proper there tom that money was once simply resting in my account anyway Ted we owe you a large favor forgetting the lad Joseph’s trouble the other day we’d like you to have a golden cleric the golden cleric you are no longer critical i am lethal serious Oh God i don’t think helpful when I consider of all of the other monks who bonnet you deserve it you managed to have but an extraordinarily intricate main issue and restrict one other rip-off when the church father bully in the relaxation of the lads will drop the award over to you the next day to come oh and is the reps are about this register em is there any sort of cash prize with – i’m afraid no longer tag but somewhat strapped for money here on the second anyway see you quickly doodle high-quality information you’re getting married natural is that a shaggy dog story yeah no i’m being given a golden clerical battle definitely excellent it is not everyday you went into Wars who’re no father you cannot have an award why not award a colossal yes there you’re exceptional balls all snapshot doodles take a photo Oh Ted can i keep up the next day night time to watch the scary movie oh no no no no the final time you watched a horrifying movie you needed to sleep in my mattress i would not mind but wasn’t even that horrifying film come on no Ted a Volkswagen with a intellect of its possess long past mad if that’s now not frightening I do not know what’s don’t it’s a children’s film if you can’t handle that how on this planet are you gonna be equipped to take a movie a couple of burglar who runs into individuals’s houses and kills every body is that is that what this one’s about sure if you want to make reward your possess age this movie the modern gossip or comfortably have a little bit of fun oh please chat back and speak to veggies you want to know right I got the presentation case for my award our exceptional ed notable I think i will put it right here over the creaky floorboard any robbers got here in and tried to rob my award will hear them only a few cheerful to get this award you realize it let me not be probably the most high monks in the nation once I get my award all proper zero saying there i’m probably the most high purpose within the country did you hear that I stated there only a second in the past I did yeah well it’s now not earlier than time father I constantly thought you have been one of the vital fine clergymen within the nation thanks very so much mrs.Doyle one of the pleasant or might be the first-rate just right one mrs. Doyle truthfully would you say i am the great priest in the nation at the second you don’t pass over new nation just say so I actually is not going to intellect i would say you perhaps the 2d first-class no it can be all right i’m now not the best priest in the country i’m honey the second quality there may be a person higher than me it seems that father I was once simply pondering of those clergymen working very poor areas oh yes of course those lads father Archbishop Desmond Tutu and the likes is a Protestant man all proper oh first-rate so Protestant is healthier than me proceed this i’m now not the satisfactory i am simply 2d fine it sounds as if the golden cleric is a runner-up prize good i’m so sorry definitely i’m simply an idiot without doubt I can’t even say Mass safely father don’t take it back that is what you said you said i’m no longer the quality peaceable in the nation that is high-quality just want to be aware of where I stand obviously now i am gonna have to jack it in priesthood i will write a letter to Bishop Brendan asked me for early retirement and perhaps after I go you can ask the other priest father Peter perfect the ultimate priest to return right here and you can work for him in view that he is definitely this type of satisfactory priest welcome to priest chat bank if you’re underneath 18 or now not a priest please hang up now you desire to communicate in regards to the Pope’s visit to Mexico say sure now if you wish to speak about being vaguely sad however not being in a position to determine precisely why say yes no wait yes yes whats up hi there no is that being vaguely sad but not being competent to determine precisely why no that is learn how to damage the information of a dying we were simply speakme about techniques I say it’s nice to just get it over with rapidly your husband’s lifeless and he is now not coming back get used to it yes but mostly a number of little hints support like keep in mind how your husband used to like a excellent snort my drawback is that I should be on top of the world due to the fact i’ve been given an award however the truth of the subject is that i know this can be a priest only line you know why Wow there while you were out on your stroll we had a cell call I consider you had been imagined to do a funeral today fully forgot about it can be all correct father McGuire mentioned he three it can be little need i am just so thinking about Christmas I can’t sleep do you under no circumstances get to sleep like that i am simply writing my speech for the following day god it’s extremely good up to now what do you set in speeches you told me thank every person would not you no now not on this case Dougal you see I bought this battle to my own initiative and rough graft so there may be nobody else to thank him except myself that is a excellent concept i’ll thank myself Wow is that the speech no he is just the notes fairly see right here for instance this can be a list of individuals who’ve really fucked me over down the years father Jimmy Fennell he particularly wishes taking down a peg or two and father PJ coward oh wait a minute he is on the incorrect list he will have to be beneath Liars as a substitute than twats final I obtained a risk to shine to face out to be well-known I respect it no dude I imply awareness of my my advantage of my achievements all right and what achievements of those hope Larry Duff’s coming capture my massive moment I shall supply him a name hope he makes it Larry’s tremendous phony frustrated he loves award ceremonies oh wait no he’s on holidays well i’ll disturb them anyway i am gonna try and get to sleep an extra time that’s little need Dooley she’s an effective way to fall asleep simply excellent empty your head of all pots i’ll provide it a go but I quite don’t amazing quite a lot of persons within the steady Ted it’s the one factor I did not count on do be taught to and open your grants I fully forgot about the grants first the calendar no offers I obtained any better than this you know I was racking my brains looking to feel what would mrs.Doyle particularly love for Christmas and then I idea you understand something to take the distress of creating tea mrs. Doyle the times of housekeepers making tea are over we can not reside in the dark ages you might have made your last cup of tea in this residence if i know individuals the way in which I consider I do she quite loves that present how were you aware i do know do not think I had observed these little recommendations he left mendacity around the place reward present reward gift reward gift rack off who would that be sermon is just not till – I’ve overlooked the ceremony hover no no in no way yeah have not transformed slightly yeah rascal and also you look at you you haven’t transformed either what well what about the hair all right from the hair it’s a it can be a it’s one other form color colour colour of course it it was purple brown blonde hey there hi there there are you back I suppose you instructed me all about it no why did you stick the ancient title and deal with in the the e-book you understand specifically the name very fundamental that you simply write the identify very very naturally i might love to inform however I can not fairly write you see one time last yr I used to be rollin with scissors and it fell and the close of the controls handwriting used to be totally severed father are you now not going to introduce me to the brand new father all correct fee of path really i’ll inform you what see if that you can bet Godfather certain it might be some thing nonetheless dog provide us a try father Andy Riley no father Desmond coin father George burn for the David Nicholson father chook ditch i will provide you with a clue ken Sweeney for their Neil Hannon father Keith : for the Ciaran Donnelly but their Mick McAvoy for the Jack White there Henry huge begging them for his or her Hank tree father Hiroshima Twinkie property bubble braveness so johnny has a poppin father Luke Duke but they are Billy funny father chewy Louie Papa John hoop fucker Harry Keitt Lynam additional nebula conundrum so the PB Stairmaster lifeless lips father Jemima rock Julie father Jerry twig father Sporto komodo for the Tuttle chest yes is that quite did she get ah come on Ted you knew already sure sure of path I used to be just amazed that she received it in Wow well underneath an hour good carried out mrs.Doyle so todd todd todd todd todd they are now Todd good old Todd how you get down there Todd how are you constant for a cup of tea Todd i would you prepare a hot toddy Todd do you want Todd whatever at all todd todd what time is the ceremony Ted good Todd it’s now not quite a ceremony i am sure to be just a very simple simple affair yes grandchildren about me i will be looking sir also is not going to be ok so Oh look dad what you love he knows salivate for them inform you i’m going to alternate the dominant stick palace however sorry i am sorry what’s the title Shan Shan sorry i do not ought to get into it but it just we want you there on the day you recognize a 2d or two and i’m day that is here any individual geared up round right here don’t talk to me you do not speak that place over there who loves when the rhythm kicks in and the track reveals itself through the counter rhythm which is there know what you equipped ok i do know first harder tell me what you see this hi who’s Ted and who’s Duggal hi there i’m Ted and that’s doogal there i’m doback he’s lifeless he’s over his dead father why does he want you via the stage he he need to be me dick man howdy i’m clearly a Shinto the golden cleric thanks very so much Ted have you ever idea about doing any tv work had crossed my intellect miss jeren agent no i’ll inform you what I supply this ad call still wonders for me well then right thank thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks good afternoon and welcome to the fifth annual presentation of the golden cleric each 12 months the Catholic Church offers an award to a priest for superb fulfillment this year’s winner is any one who’s overcome controversy in the past when rumors of monetary irregularities no no no however following a radical investigation no formal expenses had been ever made again so he was once simply resting in my account authorities have been burdened by what they saw as weird irregularities in his bills however he’s overcome all these personal setbacks oh come this year’s golden cleric ladies and gentlemen I give you father Ted Grilli who does not discontinue i’m on it rather of sticking with scores in public well well good good hi-yah I see some familiar faces here in these days some welcome some now not so welcome looks as if I’ve had the last chortle and quite a lot of men and women who particularly did not believe I had it in me to grow to be a tremendous priest good what I say to these persons is seem at me now but finally I obtained out of his headlock and now the place are you father a person hunter or give you some pygmies within the South Seas and where am i right here accepting a golden cleric award for being a prime priest he suggestion it will be a high-quality idea fine enjoyable to pour water on this young beginners mattress but of direction 30 years later the smile has been very a lot swiped a father Barry Kiernan’s face and now we transfer on to Liars follower Peter Sorensen farther Desmond Cairns recollect him well performed first-rate speech Ted it went good failed to it inform me you as wandering around in there for three hours sure it is eire’s largest land resection I realise all right oh no mr.Doyle that you could put that away and calm down sir we’re gonna check out the tea grasp how does it work Ted what am i able to not simply put the milk in no you see what you do is solely depart the cup there slide them this kind of cartridges here when the teachers comes in the market clutch so that’s superb yes well be aware of that I’ve gained an award i will be able to infrequently be seen consuming tea that is just been made in a pot the inspiration it just appears too good to be true watch the trap i’m sorry father your voice is just so boring i could not pay attention well do you have an incredibly boring voice I was just saying what’s the seize sorry failed to get it there both I imply excited about the tea master factor there need to be some kind of a catch oh oh there is no seize no watch this see perfect father there is any person there there may be virtually any individual like their father what do woman placed on that song good on the song that makes father Jack rise up what sorry about that Jack likes Assad to face up and up in the track comes up identical-identical it is only a bit fun yes good we we style of concept father Jack was once jumping by means of that window a little bit too traditionally that is why we put within the plexiglass anyway my speech what did you believe of us we all have a seem on the Christmas film yeah and now a distinctive elevated Latin Mass from san martin’s cathedral in dublin oh quality mass god I just remembered I supposed to be doing some thing terribly fundamental and the object I used to be imagined to be doing I simply remembered I’ve bought a mobilephone this fella on dying row that I befriended recently considering the fact that it is been finished the following day for mass homicide so i’d say he is pretty low on the second God Almighty did you do it oh you already know yes no sure do you want any support talking to him in view that he would get hysterical and crying and that i would say pull yourself together man all proper there may be been a colossal accident so I must go to I’ve received a cellphone name there the place you have been all someplace else proper so we’re not off saw father anxious you are coming too I might get you lift ah no house there was once a high-quality mass Alton Cosby is doing us i’m a giant fan of his he gives good mass but he really he really is aware of methods to work the altar appear at that chalice work effortless oh well we would be off so see you soon bye thanks for coming to the award ceremony where I acquired my award now on BBC one the director’s reduce of Jurassic Park with additional dinosaurs well that was a super day God was once dead it was a remarkable day incredible enjoyable i’d say it used to be one of the nice Christmas days ever Duggal I was once being sarcastic all proper hi there so used to be i who’s that fellow huh puppies I did not invite him did you yeah no that’s proper I barred you from inviting persons to the house after that tramp stayed for a week wasn’t a tramp Ted that used to be the high Minister of France no dooble he simply lied to you Todd honest i do not keep in mind him in any respect who the hell is he maybe he had a nickname like you recognize Terry Wogan what you imply that’s his actual name anyway don’t fear about it h ere you be gone in the morning seem at you mendacity in there like a enormous agent good right here all of us should not the entire plenty just like within the historical days they consider the entire enjoyable we used to have in the showers do you still do you continue to have the big oil bushy arse fluffy bit of downy fluff ah God memories remember the time you ancient Mitch go to the diner concert i could not go since I was recovering from a colossal automobile accident did he exhibit you the scar there you might be see that gift ship there acquired Jesse’s and that series of tiny little indentations all alongside me inside thigh the run the whole approach as much as me developing see the great food ah Tara’s half prior 1:00 within the morning you go off to sleep I was once just wandering around typically I are not able to sleep and i need a excellent walk to calm myself down you don’t mind do you no no you do that each one right so excellent night time and happy Christmas Ted God Almighty – i’m no longer going out of this room except the following day i do not danger bumping into that weirdo bina snootiness you see them turn off the light before you come up need you and please do not watch why Mackenzie panic it’s a damaging however my god the very fact I think it is dependable to say the burglar is without doubt within the street of nightmares Duggal I thoroughly instructed you not to watch that movie Ted no I wasn’t gazing a Ted I simply got here down to carry the milk round hello your holiness president Robinson well accomplished on the whole thing mr.De Niro good good I loved you in Godfather too he won’t be doing any more burglaries the place he is going Oh where’s that well let jail sure of course sorry however sergeant tell me how do you know a lot about me i’m enthusiastic about that myself anxious if that’s your actual title I already informed you it wasn’t how were you aware so much about father Crilley is that this off the record of path good I wasn’t selridge a few days ago bought speaking to this historical priest in a bar he used to be a bit cagey at first but a number of pictures of JD and he was singing like a chicken the golden cleric they name it giving it to an ancient friend of mine Ted Crilley met him on dolly mound strand as a listening a plan fashioned in my head we drank long into the night time me pay in a path him spilling his guts on a subjective maintaining an additional tanta cruelly you bought a mane a white hair kinda like it get on a mule wet the mattress ascend columns enormous bushy sure the longer he talked the better at gut and historic-timer named Jack Hackett and a poor strange idiot boy after that every one I needed was the proper costume priest I mean ye yeah that’s an extended story i was such as you a completely normal bathroom average run-of-the-mill cleric then I gained first prize in the country west meet priest to the ear competition the guess it went to my head after that I began hitting the altar wine too hard going convenient on persons in confession getting backhanders for doing quicker plenty all I wanted was once trophies and prizes however the person who rather bought me rough was once the golden cleric no no no today what I was once going to ask you as you’re a priest I imply why did you are taking the opposite monks garments i do not understand it used to be just going our method good I’ve got dangerous news for you so referred to as Tong juice that wasn’t off the record i’m making use of that as evidence in opposition to you ah that’s completely unfair take them away thanks sergeant they’ll be lucrative this father you both will have to be very pleased with yourselves now not one of these bad day in any case i’d say it is a useful one thing you will have pricey mrs.Doyle huh modern science it’s wonderful isn’t it it’s certainly and thanks once more father it’s the fine Christmas reward ever what about the tea laptop oh sure i’m going to go on crank it up correct now no i don’t just like the sound of that in any respect i’m sorry mrs. Doyle we’re simply gonna must get it constant oh no father don’t please what father i really like the whole tea making thing you know the playful splash of the tea is it hits the backside of the copper path of including the milk and gazing it accept a second before it filters slowly down via the cup altering the colour from dark brown to a lighter brown perching an not obligatory jaffa cake on the saucer like a proud soldier standing to awareness beside a big cup of tea oh just think father take into account the entire best instances we had when I used to make the tea tea mom you’re right mrs. Doyle you already know T out of computing device is like milk out of a baby’s bottle the baby does not need yet another bottle he desires it out of his mom’s make us each a nice natural cup of tea proper your father and do not you fear it’s going to be extremely good exquisite bloody hell have you learnt Dougal priesthood it’s no longer about awards and glamour it can be about difficult graft and attending to the religious needs of your parishioners you recognize that Tunxis fella that might had been me really that explains lots Google i don’t consider he picked up on what I intended there I would were a nasty priest you recognize i am gonna be lazy conceited now not giving a damn about the desires of my parishioners Ted it is mrs.Kill Cody she needs you to do a kind of remembrance plenty i’m nothing you already know doodle i’m sorry about my contemporary silliness you recognize you deserve this award as a lot as me rather thanks Ted that’s quality thanks very so much simply go away it oh you bet higher I consider yeah and my name on the plaque we will not trouble changing that each one right I i do know the awards mine and that’s good sufficient for me yeah there isn’t a gonna have a bat you understand help me calm down after the day k what are you doing simply having somewhat of fun .

"A Christmassy Ted" | Christmas Special | Father Ted | Dead Parrot

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"A Christmassy Ted" | Christmas Special | Father Ted | Dead Parrot

i have been doing various thinking just lately in well I I just don’t consider i’m reduce out for the priesthood I feel it’s time you and that i faced data you need us as priests within the country if now not the best safe haven sub percentage what i’m talking about don’t you yeah yeah I feel I do i’ll be off then come here here would you love a peanut peanut you stroll me down for me a peanut god do go oh sorry stated go to mattress you competent right here we go one two three whats up Dejan Oh the airhead oh wait no what good again yeah wait we get this sort of soft again again go on back Duggal just take a seat down Oh Ted can i open an extra window and the advent calendar first all right then however don’t forget you’re simply allowed to open state-of-the-art window Oh Shepherd first rate stuff oh god Ted are not able to open the other two no Dugan Ted I cannot wait to find out what’s behind the next day to come’s one I guess it can be a donkey or whatever all right so you might have transformed out of your preliminary prediction workplaces once more rude howl it can be sitting on a shared wasn’t God Almighty do go where do you get these things scorching i might say it is most commonly only a lovely angel what would you say is at the back of you Marvin to father Jack well who knows sure lady’s neck oh yes Father sure message understood God Almighty Dougal depart the calendar except the next day to come one other 12 months long gone it is rough to consider isn’t it I imply what’s all of it about Dugan good it doesn’t fairly have a story Ted you realize it’s just about football and stuff no dougela I imply existence you understand your slave away attending to the needs of your parishioners and what do you get a one-method ticket to Palookaville you realize I regarded in the reflect this morning and i noticed a center-aged grey-haired man staring again at me who used to be that me do woman oh yes of path it can be simply that I bought a Christmas card the day prior to this from father Jeff laughing he’s in Montana he makes $50,000 a yr and 2000 and pointers awesome how does he control that I do not know a lap dancing or some thing after which there’s father buzz Dolan in Canada he’s his own exhibit on cable and i hear he is landed a big phase in the new Bond movie all started for him when he received that golden cleric award let’s be nice to be famous have you learnt what i would love about being noted humans hearken to you they take heed to what you ought to say and i’ve quite a bit to assert what about when you’re doing all of your sermons Ted people take heed to you then do not they i know dude I mean folks I recognize you see you simply talked correct across me there even you do not take heed to me that’s no longer reasonable well I do are you watching forward to Christmas i’m indeed mrs.Doyle a quality quiet Christmas that is what I want a first-rate quiet Christmas without a distinguished incidents or unusual humans turning up that would go well with me all the way down to the ground a excellent quiet ordinary day-to-day Christmas oh there is the door i’m sorry is this mrs. Reilly’s residence no ed that is it simply down the road oh thanks very so much who used to be that Ted simply anybody we’re looking for Riley’s apartment she had a baby together with her for a moment I idea somebody had simply left it on our doorstep cut Ted could you imagine what would have happened if she’d left it with us yes we’ve been watching after and the whole thing and coming into all kinds of hilarious jams the entire thing would have been very very funny good it wouldn’t have been that humorous Ted definitely no and the drinks just come out here now you might have already punched on your resolution from milk and sugar so all the work is taken out of it even the state-of-the-art woman a lot of time for scheming sympathy glitch and might access coffee hot chocolate or Horlicks sure tea grasp rather takes the misery out of making tea well what do you believe probably I just like the misery for mrs.Doyle good suggestion Ted perfume is the ideal woman reward isn’t it yes that is why God invented fragrance so you do not must put any notion into whatsoever I used to stay Jack in the end oh they’ve obtained this exceptional pressed head where that you may put persons who do not wish to go looking they are able to simply stay there and have a laugh now we have on no account heard of that but there other men and women there are lots of individuals dead you can be quality perfume you suppose you’d be capable to scent it very precisely how we all know good we’re within the Hindi striking around close females secret matters it can be justice appear this manner oh no extra Underpants I imply I failed to want so many forms of Underpants huh I imply what did the parade around of them watching in mirrors always we received a little lost in the retailer that is why we’re right here gonna bit lost right here I feel that’s why you are here as good misplaced yes correct yeah that is it that is it examples you understand how over here it is ireland’s greatest Landry section I realize yeah I read that someplace the excellent strategies for us to get out of right here as rapidly as viable you understand for clergymen hanging around the freely section sure I see what you imply yeah let’s try this approach we’ve been here I recall these brows from the primary time round they all look the same to me no no these ones have double padding and the black clay sometimes lonely factor to reduce the physical games and additional-force straps for those who cross by way of a bra with a center artwork support and single pilot and the flight lace define then I think we’re on the correct track any individual’s coming to see you good not in view we have been watching for the toilet so we desired in right here with the aid of mistake it can be large it can be Ryan’s largest lingerie section I comprehend like this is the drawback we have eight clergymen striking around the lingerie part with one or two of us that’ll be embarrassing but rate we’re speaking countrywide scandal Oh the heels seem the equal proper very first thing don’t panic we’re in this factor let’s try to get out of it ok Billy i need you on factor for the clearly father D can you are taking up the again let’s go and hold it quiet I harm any individual maybe i’m just going loopy laundry section so long i do not think this sauce you are taking a rest image for the correct you go on factor however assume this kind of factor of the priest handiest two weeks in the past a good phase is to send me off to a couple bloody cat oh isn’t it i am gonna make you a promise at some point you and that i we’re gonna be in that new parish of yours sipping iced tea on the garden it can be somewhat bit only a memory can you hold onto that idea okay can you do that for me as good it is my silly fault for messing with the brass go ahead slowly sluggish you down pay attention we’re a team stick together there’s the exit thank God God appear in any respect those persons they most likely see us coming out perhaps for those who honestly purchase some Underpants then it would not seem so unusual they’re ladies’s Underpants awareness who’s received the most boring voice wash off the fanatics who’s bought probably the most boring voice this set were you inquiring for a dramatic pleasing voice no Newton said of boring he wanted an boring voice if so you have to excuse me for my impetuous interruption listen this is what we’re going to do what is going on on I think Ted has a plan no I mean customarily anyway after the laundry section females and gentlemen would you please convey your purchases to the checker because the steward selected clothes what’s mistaken Google took three lads pointing at a stare at head disappointing hi I’ve bought to do with Christmas oh honey how there is nothing within the Catholic scandal supplement in regards to the lingerie episode I suppose we bought away with it hi there Craig Holland parochial condo father Ted Crilley talking k Tom McCaskill right here hi there Tom how are you and the place are you you left a brand new north and hurry i’m in room oh when are you coming again when matters have died down a bit of I might have to head off to South the us for a while you realize she’s going to make a bloody fuck about it ah no that is now not fair catch up with you about that Lourdes factor looking a wee bit dodgy thus I washed it simply let me stop you right like proper there tom that money was once simply resting in my account anyway Ted we owe you a large favor forgetting the lad Joseph’s trouble the other day we’d like you to have a golden cleric the golden cleric you are no longer critical i am lethal serious Oh God i don’t think helpful when I consider of all of the other monks who bonnet you deserve it you managed to have but an extraordinarily intricate main issue and restrict one other rip-off when the church father bully in the relaxation of the lads will drop the award over to you the next day to come oh and is the reps are about this register em is there any sort of cash prize with – i’m afraid no longer tag but somewhat strapped for money here on the second anyway see you quickly doodle high-quality information you’re getting married natural is that a shaggy dog story yeah no i’m being given a golden clerical battle definitely excellent it is not everyday you went into Wars who’re no father you cannot have an award why not award a colossal yes there you’re exceptional balls all snapshot doodles take a photo Oh Ted can i keep up the next day night time to watch the scary movie oh no no no no the final time you watched a horrifying movie you needed to sleep in my mattress i would not mind but wasn’t even that horrifying film come on no Ted a Volkswagen with a intellect of its possess long past mad if that’s now not frightening I do not know what’s don’t it’s a children’s film if you can’t handle that how on this planet are you gonna be equipped to take a movie a couple of burglar who runs into individuals’s houses and kills every body is that is that what this one’s about sure if you want to make reward your possess age this movie the modern gossip or comfortably have a little bit of fun oh please chat back and speak to veggies you want to know right I got the presentation case for my award our exceptional ed notable I think i will put it right here over the creaky floorboard any robbers got here in and tried to rob my award will hear them only a few cheerful to get this award you realize it let me not be probably the most high monks in the nation once I get my award all proper zero saying there i’m probably the most high purpose within the country did you hear that I stated there only a second in the past I did yeah well it’s now not earlier than time father I constantly thought you have been one of the vital fine clergymen within the nation thanks very so much mrs.Doyle one of the pleasant or might be the first-rate just right one mrs. Doyle truthfully would you say i am the great priest in the nation at the second you don’t pass over new nation just say so I actually is not going to intellect i would say you perhaps the 2d first-class no it can be all right i’m now not the best priest in the country i’m honey the second quality there may be a person higher than me it seems that father I was once simply pondering of those clergymen working very poor areas oh yes of course those lads father Archbishop Desmond Tutu and the likes is a Protestant man all proper oh first-rate so Protestant is healthier than me proceed this i’m now not the satisfactory i am simply 2d fine it sounds as if the golden cleric is a runner-up prize good i’m so sorry definitely i’m simply an idiot without doubt I can’t even say Mass safely father don’t take it back that is what you said you said i’m no longer the quality peaceable in the nation that is high-quality just want to be aware of where I stand obviously now i am gonna have to jack it in priesthood i will write a letter to Bishop Brendan asked me for early retirement and perhaps after I go you can ask the other priest father Peter perfect the ultimate priest to return right here and you can work for him in view that he is definitely this type of satisfactory priest welcome to priest chat bank if you’re underneath 18 or now not a priest please hang up now you desire to communicate in regards to the Pope’s visit to Mexico say sure now if you wish to speak about being vaguely sad however not being in a position to determine precisely why say yes no wait yes yes whats up hi there no is that being vaguely sad but not being competent to determine precisely why no that is learn how to damage the information of a dying we were simply speakme about techniques I say it’s nice to just get it over with rapidly your husband’s lifeless and he is now not coming back get used to it yes but mostly a number of little hints support like keep in mind how your husband used to like a excellent snort my drawback is that I should be on top of the world due to the fact i’ve been given an award however the truth of the subject is that i know this can be a priest only line you know why Wow there while you were out on your stroll we had a cell call I consider you had been imagined to do a funeral today fully forgot about it can be all correct father McGuire mentioned he three it can be little need i am just so thinking about Christmas I can’t sleep do you under no circumstances get to sleep like that i am simply writing my speech for the following day god it’s extremely good up to now what do you set in speeches you told me thank every person would not you no now not on this case Dougal you see I bought this battle to my own initiative and rough graft so there may be nobody else to thank him except myself that is a excellent concept i’ll thank myself Wow is that the speech no he is just the notes fairly see right here for instance this can be a list of individuals who’ve really fucked me over down the years father Jimmy Fennell he particularly wishes taking down a peg or two and father PJ coward oh wait a minute he is on the incorrect list he will have to be beneath Liars as a substitute than twats final I obtained a risk to shine to face out to be well-known I respect it no dude I imply awareness of my my advantage of my achievements all right and what achievements of those hope Larry Duff’s coming capture my massive moment I shall supply him a name hope he makes it Larry’s tremendous phony frustrated he loves award ceremonies oh wait no he’s on holidays well i’ll disturb them anyway i am gonna try and get to sleep an extra time that’s little need Dooley she’s an effective way to fall asleep simply excellent empty your head of all pots i’ll provide it a go but I quite don’t amazing quite a lot of persons within the steady Ted it’s the one factor I did not count on do be taught to and open your grants I fully forgot about the grants first the calendar no offers I obtained any better than this you know I was racking my brains looking to feel what would mrs.Doyle particularly love for Christmas and then I idea you understand something to take the distress of creating tea mrs. Doyle the times of housekeepers making tea are over we can not reside in the dark ages you might have made your last cup of tea in this residence if i know individuals the way in which I consider I do she quite loves that present how were you aware i do know do not think I had observed these little recommendations he left mendacity around the place reward present reward gift reward gift rack off who would that be sermon is just not till – I’ve overlooked the ceremony hover no no in no way yeah have not transformed slightly yeah rascal and also you look at you you haven’t transformed either what well what about the hair all right from the hair it’s a it can be a it’s one other form color colour colour of course it it was purple brown blonde hey there hi there there are you back I suppose you instructed me all about it no why did you stick the ancient title and deal with in the the e-book you understand specifically the name very fundamental that you simply write the identify very very naturally i might love to inform however I can not fairly write you see one time last yr I used to be rollin with scissors and it fell and the close of the controls handwriting used to be totally severed father are you now not going to introduce me to the brand new father all correct fee of path really i’ll inform you what see if that you can bet Godfather certain it might be some thing nonetheless dog provide us a try father Andy Riley no father Desmond coin father George burn for the David Nicholson father chook ditch i will provide you with a clue ken Sweeney for their Neil Hannon father Keith : for the Ciaran Donnelly but their Mick McAvoy for the Jack White there Henry huge begging them for his or her Hank tree father Hiroshima Twinkie property bubble braveness so johnny has a poppin father Luke Duke but they are Billy funny father chewy Louie Papa John hoop fucker Harry Keitt Lynam additional nebula conundrum so the PB Stairmaster lifeless lips father Jemima rock Julie father Jerry twig father Sporto komodo for the Tuttle chest yes is that quite did she get ah come on Ted you knew already sure sure of path I used to be just amazed that she received it in Wow well underneath an hour good carried out mrs.Doyle so todd todd todd todd todd they are now Todd good old Todd how you get down there Todd how are you constant for a cup of tea Todd i would you prepare a hot toddy Todd do you want Todd whatever at all todd todd what time is the ceremony Ted good Todd it’s now not quite a ceremony i am sure to be just a very simple simple affair yes grandchildren about me i will be looking sir also is not going to be ok so Oh look dad what you love he knows salivate for them inform you i’m going to alternate the dominant stick palace however sorry i am sorry what’s the title Shan Shan sorry i do not ought to get into it but it just we want you there on the day you recognize a 2d or two and i’m day that is here any individual geared up round right here don’t talk to me you do not speak that place over there who loves when the rhythm kicks in and the track reveals itself through the counter rhythm which is there know what you equipped ok i do know first harder tell me what you see this hi who’s Ted and who’s Duggal hi there i’m Ted and that’s doogal there i’m doback he’s lifeless he’s over his dead father why does he want you via the stage he he need to be me dick man howdy i’m clearly a Shinto the golden cleric thanks very so much Ted have you ever idea about doing any tv work had crossed my intellect miss jeren agent no i’ll inform you what I supply this ad call still wonders for me well then right thank thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks good afternoon and welcome to the fifth annual presentation of the golden cleric each 12 months the Catholic Church offers an award to a priest for superb fulfillment this year’s winner is any one who’s overcome controversy in the past when rumors of monetary irregularities no no no however following a radical investigation no formal expenses had been ever made again so he was once simply resting in my account authorities have been burdened by what they saw as weird irregularities in his bills however he’s overcome all these personal setbacks oh come this year’s golden cleric ladies and gentlemen I give you father Ted Grilli who does not discontinue i’m on it rather of sticking with scores in public well well good good hi-yah I see some familiar faces here in these days some welcome some now not so welcome looks as if I’ve had the last chortle and quite a lot of men and women who particularly did not believe I had it in me to grow to be a tremendous priest good what I say to these persons is seem at me now but finally I obtained out of his headlock and now the place are you father a person hunter or give you some pygmies within the South Seas and where am i right here accepting a golden cleric award for being a prime priest he suggestion it will be a high-quality idea fine enjoyable to pour water on this young beginners mattress but of direction 30 years later the smile has been very a lot swiped a father Barry Kiernan’s face and now we transfer on to Liars follower Peter Sorensen farther Desmond Cairns recollect him well performed first-rate speech Ted it went good failed to it inform me you as wandering around in there for three hours sure it is eire’s largest land resection I realise all right oh no mr.Doyle that you could put that away and calm down sir we’re gonna check out the tea grasp how does it work Ted what am i able to not simply put the milk in no you see what you do is solely depart the cup there slide them this kind of cartridges here when the teachers comes in the market clutch so that’s superb yes well be aware of that I’ve gained an award i will be able to infrequently be seen consuming tea that is just been made in a pot the inspiration it just appears too good to be true watch the trap i’m sorry father your voice is just so boring i could not pay attention well do you have an incredibly boring voice I was just saying what’s the seize sorry failed to get it there both I imply excited about the tea master factor there need to be some kind of a catch oh oh there is no seize no watch this see perfect father there is any person there there may be virtually any individual like their father what do woman placed on that song good on the song that makes father Jack rise up what sorry about that Jack likes Assad to face up and up in the track comes up identical-identical it is only a bit fun yes good we we style of concept father Jack was once jumping by means of that window a little bit too traditionally that is why we put within the plexiglass anyway my speech what did you believe of us we all have a seem on the Christmas film yeah and now a distinctive elevated Latin Mass from san martin’s cathedral in dublin oh quality mass god I just remembered I supposed to be doing some thing terribly fundamental and the object I used to be imagined to be doing I simply remembered I’ve bought a mobilephone this fella on dying row that I befriended recently considering the fact that it is been finished the following day for mass homicide so i’d say he is pretty low on the second God Almighty did you do it oh you already know yes no sure do you want any support talking to him in view that he would get hysterical and crying and that i would say pull yourself together man all proper there may be been a colossal accident so I must go to I’ve received a cellphone name there the place you have been all someplace else proper so we’re not off saw father anxious you are coming too I might get you lift ah no house there was once a high-quality mass Alton Cosby is doing us i’m a giant fan of his he gives good mass but he really he really is aware of methods to work the altar appear at that chalice work effortless oh well we would be off so see you soon bye thanks for coming to the award ceremony where I acquired my award now on BBC one the director’s reduce of Jurassic Park with additional dinosaurs well that was a super day God was once dead it was a remarkable day incredible enjoyable i’d say it used to be one of the nice Christmas days ever Duggal I was once being sarcastic all proper hi there so used to be i who’s that fellow huh puppies I did not invite him did you yeah no that’s proper I barred you from inviting persons to the house after that tramp stayed for a week wasn’t a tramp Ted that used to be the high Minister of France no dooble he simply lied to you Todd honest i do not keep in mind him in any respect who the hell is he maybe he had a nickname like you recognize Terry Wogan what you imply that’s his actual name anyway don’t fear about it h ere you be gone in the morning seem at you mendacity in there like a enormous agent good right here all of us should not the entire plenty just like within the historical days they consider the entire enjoyable we used to have in the showers do you still do you continue to have the big oil bushy arse fluffy bit of downy fluff ah God memories remember the time you ancient Mitch go to the diner concert i could not go since I was recovering from a colossal automobile accident did he exhibit you the scar there you might be see that gift ship there acquired Jesse’s and that series of tiny little indentations all alongside me inside thigh the run the whole approach as much as me developing see the great food ah Tara’s half prior 1:00 within the morning you go off to sleep I was once just wandering around typically I are not able to sleep and i need a excellent walk to calm myself down you don’t mind do you no no you do that each one right so excellent night time and happy Christmas Ted God Almighty – i’m no longer going out of this room except the following day i do not danger bumping into that weirdo bina snootiness you see them turn off the light before you come up need you and please do not watch why Mackenzie panic it’s a damaging however my god the very fact I think it is dependable to say the burglar is without doubt within the street of nightmares Duggal I thoroughly instructed you not to watch that movie Ted no I wasn’t gazing a Ted I simply got here down to carry the milk round hello your holiness president Robinson well accomplished on the whole thing mr.De Niro good good I loved you in Godfather too he won’t be doing any more burglaries the place he is going Oh where’s that well let jail sure of course sorry however sergeant tell me how do you know a lot about me i’m enthusiastic about that myself anxious if that’s your actual title I already informed you it wasn’t how were you aware so much about father Crilley is that this off the record of path good I wasn’t selridge a few days ago bought speaking to this historical priest in a bar he used to be a bit cagey at first but a number of pictures of JD and he was singing like a chicken the golden cleric they name it giving it to an ancient friend of mine Ted Crilley met him on dolly mound strand as a listening a plan fashioned in my head we drank long into the night time me pay in a path him spilling his guts on a subjective maintaining an additional tanta cruelly you bought a mane a white hair kinda like it get on a mule wet the mattress ascend columns enormous bushy sure the longer he talked the better at gut and historic-timer named Jack Hackett and a poor strange idiot boy after that every one I needed was the proper costume priest I mean ye yeah that’s an extended story i was such as you a completely normal bathroom average run-of-the-mill cleric then I gained first prize in the country west meet priest to the ear competition the guess it went to my head after that I began hitting the altar wine too hard going convenient on persons in confession getting backhanders for doing quicker plenty all I wanted was once trophies and prizes however the person who rather bought me rough was once the golden cleric no no no today what I was once going to ask you as you’re a priest I imply why did you are taking the opposite monks garments i do not understand it used to be just going our method good I’ve got dangerous news for you so referred to as Tong juice that wasn’t off the record i’m making use of that as evidence in opposition to you ah that’s completely unfair take them away thanks sergeant they’ll be lucrative this father you both will have to be very pleased with yourselves now not one of these bad day in any case i’d say it is a useful one thing you will have pricey mrs.Doyle huh modern science it’s wonderful isn’t it it’s certainly and thanks once more father it’s the fine Christmas reward ever what about the tea laptop oh sure i’m going to go on crank it up correct now no i don’t just like the sound of that in any respect i’m sorry mrs. Doyle we’re simply gonna must get it constant oh no father don’t please what father i really like the whole tea making thing you know the playful splash of the tea is it hits the backside of the copper path of including the milk and gazing it accept a second before it filters slowly down via the cup altering the colour from dark brown to a lighter brown perching an not obligatory jaffa cake on the saucer like a proud soldier standing to awareness beside a big cup of tea oh just think father take into account the entire best instances we had when I used to make the tea tea mom you’re right mrs. Doyle you already know T out of computing device is like milk out of a baby’s bottle the baby does not need yet another bottle he desires it out of his mom’s make us each a nice natural cup of tea proper your father and do not you fear it’s going to be extremely good exquisite bloody hell have you learnt Dougal priesthood it’s no longer about awards and glamour it can be about difficult graft and attending to the religious needs of your parishioners you recognize that Tunxis fella that might had been me really that explains lots Google i don’t consider he picked up on what I intended there I would were a nasty priest you recognize i am gonna be lazy conceited now not giving a damn about the desires of my parishioners Ted it is mrs.Kill Cody she needs you to do a kind of remembrance plenty i’m nothing you already know doodle i’m sorry about my contemporary silliness you recognize you deserve this award as a lot as me rather thanks Ted that’s quality thanks very so much simply go away it oh you bet higher I consider yeah and my name on the plaque we will not trouble changing that each one right I i do know the awards mine and that’s good sufficient for me yeah there isn’t a gonna have a bat you understand help me calm down after the day k what are you doing simply having somewhat of fun .

The Teen Titans Go The Movies Teaser Trailer

Just saying I made this on Deviantart and saying my thoughts on here now. As of now Angel your username sorry to mention you changed well I retyped the first mention of your username since it wouldn't work with the a thing or even just putting a different a so yeah here's me talking

"Now here weeeee.....go" - The Joker from The Dark Knight.(I'm on the paragraph where it's about the comments)

That is well honestly the best way to title this and just...I'm gonna copy and paste this one Tumblr also here's the video. Which I tried to make sure I found the same one from @angel-baez had linked.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=p4HrpCPquk4

Including just I'll tell you this. I didn't watch it earlier because was on my laptop doing other stuff like FilmJunkee videos, eating Me N Ed's pizza, watching OK KO, but mainly watching Markiplier play Doom 2016 in some parts which is just lovely to watch. Because playing the game myself just...it makes me happy. But back to the topic.

You know I don't really talk about Teen Titans Go and just yeah I don't like the show. Including I haven't seen this podcast yet I don't watch him anymore. But this podcast by Pan Pizza talking about how even talking negatively about the show still makes people aware of it.

I'm thinking I feel like yeah I don't try to talk about it. So I wouldn't give any attend to the series. Including seeing episodes the past few months when I leave Cartoon Network I try to avoid even having the show on now seeing certain episodes and just yeah. This goes for Uncle Grandpa too these past few days sorry off topic.

Honestly even if I'm not the biggest fan of the original show. I do like it, and as a DCEU and DC a bit I want the Teen Titans in the DCEU.

Yet just......you know I want to be detailed yet I feel I can't. Because it's mainly a teaser but you can still be critical of it. Including I'm gonna reblog a post where I watched this trailer at.

Will tell you this and spoiling a surprise the part with Wonder Woman no she's not in there I mean them wearing costumes. Including seeing that I think I could tell this was because of the massive success Wonder Woman was and I enjoyed that movie too. Yet sad when they say Wonder Woman inspires people when....I think I'm looking at it the wrong way. I was thinking of Superman and he inspires people what about him.

That's off topic. But yeah that part made me smiled just the rest. So the animation like they said in this reblog I'll reblog it's still the same. Despite it looks a bit more theatrical in some way. But not as of like the latest MLP movie or even SpongeBob movies. Or any sort of movie based upon a TV series.

Including remembered this now I've read the comments well the first page. Also forgot that quote I even quoted yesterday because just the incoming wave of hate the film is gonna get in the comments. Basically from another post I reblogged from Angel.

But yeah theirs hate and even some hate on the DCEU just seriously why even here. Including this year when we have this we have Aquaman which seems to be narly yet including that mention and appearance of Aquaman I feel is to reference yes theirs gonna be a Aquaman movie. Including the sad idea of why in the hell does a movie like this exist.

Including might as well get to this part. I remember talking about this in another reblog sorry I'm on Tumblr a lot. Theirs this idea or dream or hope that when the film comes out. The intense hatred is gonna be quite much, reviews are very negative. Including a box office bomb you know I sound stupid oh head thinking a movie deserves that crap.

But considering....I mean here's the thing. While I have been overjoyed to see shit like easter eggs in this show as a DC fan. Yet Teen Titans Go as a show oh head don't be nice to it or just it sucks. Including just....the kind of show it is. While I'm okay with the Powerpuff Girls reboot and Ben 10 reboot. Despite the road to the PPG reboot that Craig wasn't alright with it and not getting the original voice actresses while I'm okay with the new ones.

But Teen Titans Go as a show and I would of been fine with the show. If the writers and just overall creators didn't do things that honestly bothered me. Including of what I've read and even see.

As of now my brother was in my room or just honestly nothing serious when I think about it. Just he was testing my patience and me even telling him that and even me saying I was checking a text and him trying to close the door without using his hands or handle what the fuck.

Sorry and heard his door closed he's in his room now and everything's okay even me saying sorry just in case.

But looking at my last paragraph about the show. Honestly Teen Titans Go could of been just a silly show okay some parody but a sillier version of the original show. That didn't need out right insult it's audiences or just make it's audience seem like a dumbass. Along with really douchey moments.

The show could of been this cute thing with it's own cult following with it's own fans. That was less serious then the original but it's own silly thing. Including some nice little stuff like those easter eggs I've mentioned.

But instead we have a mean spirited show created by people who never seen the original show. That make certain episodes that just bother me quite a bit.

Including they just don't care.

Along with I'm just wondering if the outcry of hatred against the show is gonna be heard by the likes of shit like Collider which is also a bullshit channel, and other sort just....even reviewers surprised. Basically this idea no one knows their was this huge hatred until now. Which would sound weird as fuck if any of these people didn't know.

Honestly this weird idea like I hope certain cartoons I like aren't discovered or talked about by certain people or channels or whatever.

Yet hey would love to hear and see FilmJunkee's views on it along with Film Gob, and Chris Wong Swenson too. Maybe Jeremy Jahns been a while since I've watched him.

Basically I'm just wondering and I'm okay with Rotten Tomatos and I want to make my own opinions about movies. Despite I do look at it of what that score that shouldn't be fucking controlling over some God damn movies. Or just the amount of movies were getting.

Yet just to see what others might think but I would want to make my own opinion. Instead of relying of what others have to say.

I'm just so interested of how this is gonna get affected by those God damn tomatoes including even thought that might help in the favor. Yet I'm sounding hypocritical.

Seriously I'm not the biggest fan of Teen Titans and I don't care for this show despite I don't like it. Maybe just going deep into it and thinking about it more. Along with the idea it's getting a actual fucking movie. Including this worse thought imagine if the reviews are positive and how they might be towards certain DCEU films or the DCEU in general.

I'm sorry or fuck it but it's a show now don't like I dislike it greatly just thinking about it when typing this. Including I'm not gonna tag this because of fear of backlash but people will find it still honestly. I just wanted to share my opinion on both sites on Deviantart and Tumblr.

"A Christmassy Ted" | Christmas Special | Father Ted | Dead Parrot

New Post has been published on https://hititem.kr/a-christmassy-ted-christmas-special-father-ted-dead-parrot/

"A Christmassy Ted" | Christmas Special | Father Ted | Dead Parrot

i have been doing various thinking just lately in well I I just don’t consider i’m reduce out for the priesthood I feel it’s time you and that i faced data you need us as priests within the country if now not the best safe haven sub percentage what i’m talking about don’t you yeah yeah I feel I do i’ll be off then come here here would you love a peanut peanut you stroll me down for me a peanut god do go oh sorry stated go to mattress you competent right here we go one two three whats up Dejan Oh the airhead oh wait no what good again yeah wait we get this sort of soft again again go on back Duggal just take a seat down Oh Ted can i open an extra window and the advent calendar first all right then however don’t forget you’re simply allowed to open state-of-the-art window Oh Shepherd first rate stuff oh god Ted are not able to open the other two no Dugan Ted I cannot wait to find out what’s behind the next day to come’s one I guess it can be a donkey or whatever all right so you might have transformed out of your preliminary prediction workplaces once more rude howl it can be sitting on a shared wasn’t God Almighty do go where do you get these things scorching i might say it is most commonly only a lovely angel what would you say is at the back of you Marvin to father Jack well who knows sure lady’s neck oh yes Father sure message understood God Almighty Dougal depart the calendar except the next day to come one other 12 months long gone it is rough to consider isn’t it I imply what’s all of it about Dugan good it doesn’t fairly have a story Ted you realize it’s just about football and stuff no dougela I imply existence you understand your slave away attending to the needs of your parishioners and what do you get a one-method ticket to Palookaville you realize I regarded in the reflect this morning and i noticed a center-aged grey-haired man staring again at me who used to be that me do woman oh yes of path it can be simply that I bought a Christmas card the day prior to this from father Jeff laughing he’s in Montana he makes $50,000 a yr and 2000 and pointers awesome how does he control that I do not know a lap dancing or some thing after which there’s father buzz Dolan in Canada he’s his own exhibit on cable and i hear he is landed a big phase in the new Bond movie all started for him when he received that golden cleric award let’s be nice to be famous have you learnt what i would love about being noted humans hearken to you they take heed to what you ought to say and i’ve quite a bit to assert what about when you’re doing all of your sermons Ted people take heed to you then do not they i know dude I mean folks I recognize you see you simply talked correct across me there even you do not take heed to me that’s no longer reasonable well I do are you watching forward to Christmas i’m indeed mrs.Doyle a quality quiet Christmas that is what I want a first-rate quiet Christmas without a distinguished incidents or unusual humans turning up that would go well with me all the way down to the ground a excellent quiet ordinary day-to-day Christmas oh there is the door i’m sorry is this mrs. Reilly’s residence no ed that is it simply down the road oh thanks very so much who used to be that Ted simply anybody we’re looking for Riley’s apartment she had a baby together with her for a moment I idea somebody had simply left it on our doorstep cut Ted could you imagine what would have happened if she’d left it with us yes we’ve been watching after and the whole thing and coming into all kinds of hilarious jams the entire thing would have been very very funny good it wouldn’t have been that humorous Ted definitely no and the drinks just come out here now you might have already punched on your resolution from milk and sugar so all the work is taken out of it even the state-of-the-art woman a lot of time for scheming sympathy glitch and might access coffee hot chocolate or Horlicks sure tea grasp rather takes the misery out of making tea well what do you believe probably I just like the misery for mrs.Doyle good suggestion Ted perfume is the ideal woman reward isn’t it yes that is why God invented fragrance so you do not must put any notion into whatsoever I used to stay Jack in the end oh they’ve obtained this exceptional pressed head where that you may put persons who do not wish to go looking they are able to simply stay there and have a laugh now we have on no account heard of that but there other men and women there are lots of individuals dead you can be quality perfume you suppose you’d be capable to scent it very precisely how we all know good we’re within the Hindi striking around close females secret matters it can be justice appear this manner oh no extra Underpants I imply I failed to want so many forms of Underpants huh I imply what did the parade around of them watching in mirrors always we received a little lost in the retailer that is why we’re right here gonna bit lost right here I feel that’s why you are here as good misplaced yes correct yeah that is it that is it examples you understand how over here it is ireland’s greatest Landry section I realize yeah I read that someplace the excellent strategies for us to get out of right here as rapidly as viable you understand for clergymen hanging around the freely section sure I see what you imply yeah let’s try this approach we’ve been here I recall these brows from the primary time round they all look the same to me no no these ones have double padding and the black clay sometimes lonely factor to reduce the physical games and additional-force straps for those who cross by way of a bra with a center artwork support and single pilot and the flight lace define then I think we’re on the correct track any individual’s coming to see you good not in view we have been watching for the toilet so we desired in right here with the aid of mistake it can be large it can be Ryan’s largest lingerie section I comprehend like this is the drawback we have eight clergymen striking around the lingerie part with one or two of us that’ll be embarrassing but rate we’re speaking countrywide scandal Oh the heels seem the equal proper very first thing don’t panic we’re in this factor let’s try to get out of it ok Billy i need you on factor for the clearly father D can you are taking up the again let’s go and hold it quiet I harm any individual maybe i’m just going loopy laundry section so long i do not think this sauce you are taking a rest image for the correct you go on factor however assume this kind of factor of the priest handiest two weeks in the past a good phase is to send me off to a couple bloody cat oh isn’t it i am gonna make you a promise at some point you and that i we’re gonna be in that new parish of yours sipping iced tea on the garden it can be somewhat bit only a memory can you hold onto that idea okay can you do that for me as good it is my silly fault for messing with the brass go ahead slowly sluggish you down pay attention we’re a team stick together there’s the exit thank God God appear in any respect those persons they most likely see us coming out perhaps for those who honestly purchase some Underpants then it would not seem so unusual they’re ladies’s Underpants awareness who’s received the most boring voice wash off the fanatics who’s bought probably the most boring voice this set were you inquiring for a dramatic pleasing voice no Newton said of boring he wanted an boring voice if so you have to excuse me for my impetuous interruption listen this is what we’re going to do what is going on on I think Ted has a plan no I mean customarily anyway after the laundry section females and gentlemen would you please convey your purchases to the checker because the steward selected clothes what’s mistaken Google took three lads pointing at a stare at head disappointing hi I’ve bought to do with Christmas oh honey how there is nothing within the Catholic scandal supplement in regards to the lingerie episode I suppose we bought away with it hi there Craig Holland parochial condo father Ted Crilley talking k Tom McCaskill right here hi there Tom how are you and the place are you you left a brand new north and hurry i’m in room oh when are you coming again when matters have died down a bit of I might have to head off to South the us for a while you realize she’s going to make a bloody fuck about it ah no that is now not fair catch up with you about that Lourdes factor looking a wee bit dodgy thus I washed it simply let me stop you right like proper there tom that money was once simply resting in my account anyway Ted we owe you a large favor forgetting the lad Joseph’s trouble the other day we’d like you to have a golden cleric the golden cleric you are no longer critical i am lethal serious Oh God i don’t think helpful when I consider of all of the other monks who bonnet you deserve it you managed to have but an extraordinarily intricate main issue and restrict one other rip-off when the church father bully in the relaxation of the lads will drop the award over to you the next day to come oh and is the reps are about this register em is there any sort of cash prize with – i’m afraid no longer tag but somewhat strapped for money here on the second anyway see you quickly doodle high-quality information you’re getting married natural is that a shaggy dog story yeah no i’m being given a golden clerical battle definitely excellent it is not everyday you went into Wars who’re no father you cannot have an award why not award a colossal yes there you’re exceptional balls all snapshot doodles take a photo Oh Ted can i keep up the next day night time to watch the scary movie oh no no no no the final time you watched a horrifying movie you needed to sleep in my mattress i would not mind but wasn’t even that horrifying film come on no Ted a Volkswagen with a intellect of its possess long past mad if that’s now not frightening I do not know what’s don’t it’s a children’s film if you can’t handle that how on this planet are you gonna be equipped to take a movie a couple of burglar who runs into individuals’s houses and kills every body is that is that what this one’s about sure if you want to make reward your possess age this movie the modern gossip or comfortably have a little bit of fun oh please chat back and speak to veggies you want to know right I got the presentation case for my award our exceptional ed notable I think i will put it right here over the creaky floorboard any robbers got here in and tried to rob my award will hear them only a few cheerful to get this award you realize it let me not be probably the most high monks in the nation once I get my award all proper zero saying there i’m probably the most high purpose within the country did you hear that I stated there only a second in the past I did yeah well it’s now not earlier than time father I constantly thought you have been one of the vital fine clergymen within the nation thanks very so much mrs.Doyle one of the pleasant or might be the first-rate just right one mrs. Doyle truthfully would you say i am the great priest in the nation at the second you don’t pass over new nation just say so I actually is not going to intellect i would say you perhaps the 2d first-class no it can be all right i’m now not the best priest in the country i’m honey the second quality there may be a person higher than me it seems that father I was once simply pondering of those clergymen working very poor areas oh yes of course those lads father Archbishop Desmond Tutu and the likes is a Protestant man all proper oh first-rate so Protestant is healthier than me proceed this i’m now not the satisfactory i am simply 2d fine it sounds as if the golden cleric is a runner-up prize good i’m so sorry definitely i’m simply an idiot without doubt I can’t even say Mass safely father don’t take it back that is what you said you said i’m no longer the quality peaceable in the nation that is high-quality just want to be aware of where I stand obviously now i am gonna have to jack it in priesthood i will write a letter to Bishop Brendan asked me for early retirement and perhaps after I go you can ask the other priest father Peter perfect the ultimate priest to return right here and you can work for him in view that he is definitely this type of satisfactory priest welcome to priest chat bank if you’re underneath 18 or now not a priest please hang up now you desire to communicate in regards to the Pope’s visit to Mexico say sure now if you wish to speak about being vaguely sad however not being in a position to determine precisely why say yes no wait yes yes whats up hi there no is that being vaguely sad but not being competent to determine precisely why no that is learn how to damage the information of a dying we were simply speakme about techniques I say it’s nice to just get it over with rapidly your husband’s lifeless and he is now not coming back get used to it yes but mostly a number of little hints support like keep in mind how your husband used to like a excellent snort my drawback is that I should be on top of the world due to the fact i’ve been given an award however the truth of the subject is that i know this can be a priest only line you know why Wow there while you were out on your stroll we had a cell call I consider you had been imagined to do a funeral today fully forgot about it can be all correct father McGuire mentioned he three it can be little need i am just so thinking about Christmas I can’t sleep do you under no circumstances get to sleep like that i am simply writing my speech for the following day god it’s extremely good up to now what do you set in speeches you told me thank every person would not you no now not on this case Dougal you see I bought this battle to my own initiative and rough graft so there may be nobody else to thank him except myself that is a excellent concept i’ll thank myself Wow is that the speech no he is just the notes fairly see right here for instance this can be a list of individuals who’ve really fucked me over down the years father Jimmy Fennell he particularly wishes taking down a peg or two and father PJ coward oh wait a minute he is on the incorrect list he will have to be beneath Liars as a substitute than twats final I obtained a risk to shine to face out to be well-known I respect it no dude I imply awareness of my my advantage of my achievements all right and what achievements of those hope Larry Duff’s coming capture my massive moment I shall supply him a name hope he makes it Larry’s tremendous phony frustrated he loves award ceremonies oh wait no he’s on holidays well i’ll disturb them anyway i am gonna try and get to sleep an extra time that’s little need Dooley she’s an effective way to fall asleep simply excellent empty your head of all pots i’ll provide it a go but I quite don’t amazing quite a lot of persons within the steady Ted it’s the one factor I did not count on do be taught to and open your grants I fully forgot about the grants first the calendar no offers I obtained any better than this you know I was racking my brains looking to feel what would mrs.Doyle particularly love for Christmas and then I idea you understand something to take the distress of creating tea mrs. Doyle the times of housekeepers making tea are over we can not reside in the dark ages you might have made your last cup of tea in this residence if i know individuals the way in which I consider I do she quite loves that present how were you aware i do know do not think I had observed these little recommendations he left mendacity around the place reward present reward gift reward gift rack off who would that be sermon is just not till – I’ve overlooked the ceremony hover no no in no way yeah have not transformed slightly yeah rascal and also you look at you you haven’t transformed either what well what about the hair all right from the hair it’s a it can be a it’s one other form color colour colour of course it it was purple brown blonde hey there hi there there are you back I suppose you instructed me all about it no why did you stick the ancient title and deal with in the the e-book you understand specifically the name very fundamental that you simply write the identify very very naturally i might love to inform however I can not fairly write you see one time last yr I used to be rollin with scissors and it fell and the close of the controls handwriting used to be totally severed father are you now not going to introduce me to the brand new father all correct fee of path really i’ll inform you what see if that you can bet Godfather certain it might be some thing nonetheless dog provide us a try father Andy Riley no father Desmond coin father George burn for the David Nicholson father chook ditch i will provide you with a clue ken Sweeney for their Neil Hannon father Keith : for the Ciaran Donnelly but their Mick McAvoy for the Jack White there Henry huge begging them for his or her Hank tree father Hiroshima Twinkie property bubble braveness so johnny has a poppin father Luke Duke but they are Billy funny father chewy Louie Papa John hoop fucker Harry Keitt Lynam additional nebula conundrum so the PB Stairmaster lifeless lips father Jemima rock Julie father Jerry twig father Sporto komodo for the Tuttle chest yes is that quite did she get ah come on Ted you knew already sure sure of path I used to be just amazed that she received it in Wow well underneath an hour good carried out mrs.Doyle so todd todd todd todd todd they are now Todd good old Todd how you get down there Todd how are you constant for a cup of tea Todd i would you prepare a hot toddy Todd do you want Todd whatever at all todd todd what time is the ceremony Ted good Todd it’s now not quite a ceremony i am sure to be just a very simple simple affair yes grandchildren about me i will be looking sir also is not going to be ok so Oh look dad what you love he knows salivate for them inform you i’m going to alternate the dominant stick palace however sorry i am sorry what’s the title Shan Shan sorry i do not ought to get into it but it just we want you there on the day you recognize a 2d or two and i’m day that is here any individual geared up round right here don’t talk to me you do not speak that place over there who loves when the rhythm kicks in and the track reveals itself through the counter rhythm which is there know what you equipped ok i do know first harder tell me what you see this hi who’s Ted and who’s Duggal hi there i’m Ted and that’s doogal there i’m doback he’s lifeless he’s over his dead father why does he want you via the stage he he need to be me dick man howdy i’m clearly a Shinto the golden cleric thanks very so much Ted have you ever idea about doing any tv work had crossed my intellect miss jeren agent no i’ll inform you what I supply this ad call still wonders for me well then right thank thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks good afternoon and welcome to the fifth annual presentation of the golden cleric each 12 months the Catholic Church offers an award to a priest for superb fulfillment this year’s winner is any one who’s overcome controversy in the past when rumors of monetary irregularities no no no however following a radical investigation no formal expenses had been ever made again so he was once simply resting in my account authorities have been burdened by what they saw as weird irregularities in his bills however he’s overcome all these personal setbacks oh come this year’s golden cleric ladies and gentlemen I give you father Ted Grilli who does not discontinue i’m on it rather of sticking with scores in public well well good good hi-yah I see some familiar faces here in these days some welcome some now not so welcome looks as if I’ve had the last chortle and quite a lot of men and women who particularly did not believe I had it in me to grow to be a tremendous priest good what I say to these persons is seem at me now but finally I obtained out of his headlock and now the place are you father a person hunter or give you some pygmies within the South Seas and where am i right here accepting a golden cleric award for being a prime priest he suggestion it will be a high-quality idea fine enjoyable to pour water on this young beginners mattress but of direction 30 years later the smile has been very a lot swiped a father Barry Kiernan’s face and now we transfer on to Liars follower Peter Sorensen farther Desmond Cairns recollect him well performed first-rate speech Ted it went good failed to it inform me you as wandering around in there for three hours sure it is eire’s largest land resection I realise all right oh no mr.Doyle that you could put that away and calm down sir we’re gonna check out the tea grasp how does it work Ted what am i able to not simply put the milk in no you see what you do is solely depart the cup there slide them this kind of cartridges here when the teachers comes in the market clutch so that’s superb yes well be aware of that I’ve gained an award i will be able to infrequently be seen consuming tea that is just been made in a pot the inspiration it just appears too good to be true watch the trap i’m sorry father your voice is just so boring i could not pay attention well do you have an incredibly boring voice I was just saying what’s the seize sorry failed to get it there both I imply excited about the tea master factor there need to be some kind of a catch oh oh there is no seize no watch this see perfect father there is any person there there may be virtually any individual like their father what do woman placed on that song good on the song that makes father Jack rise up what sorry about that Jack likes Assad to face up and up in the track comes up identical-identical it is only a bit fun yes good we we style of concept father Jack was once jumping by means of that window a little bit too traditionally that is why we put within the plexiglass anyway my speech what did you believe of us we all have a seem on the Christmas film yeah and now a distinctive elevated Latin Mass from san martin’s cathedral in dublin oh quality mass god I just remembered I supposed to be doing some thing terribly fundamental and the object I used to be imagined to be doing I simply remembered I’ve bought a mobilephone this fella on dying row that I befriended recently considering the fact that it is been finished the following day for mass homicide so i’d say he is pretty low on the second God Almighty did you do it oh you already know yes no sure do you want any support talking to him in view that he would get hysterical and crying and that i would say pull yourself together man all proper there may be been a colossal accident so I must go to I’ve received a cellphone name there the place you have been all someplace else proper so we’re not off saw father anxious you are coming too I might get you lift ah no house there was once a high-quality mass Alton Cosby is doing us i’m a giant fan of his he gives good mass but he really he really is aware of methods to work the altar appear at that chalice work effortless oh well we would be off so see you soon bye thanks for coming to the award ceremony where I acquired my award now on BBC one the director’s reduce of Jurassic Park with additional dinosaurs well that was a super day God was once dead it was a remarkable day incredible enjoyable i’d say it used to be one of the nice Christmas days ever Duggal I was once being sarcastic all proper hi there so used to be i who’s that fellow huh puppies I did not invite him did you yeah no that’s proper I barred you from inviting persons to the house after that tramp stayed for a week wasn’t a tramp Ted that used to be the high Minister of France no dooble he simply lied to you Todd honest i do not keep in mind him in any respect who the hell is he maybe he had a nickname like you recognize Terry Wogan what you imply that’s his actual name anyway don’t fear about it h ere you be gone in the morning seem at you mendacity in there like a enormous agent good right here all of us should not the entire plenty just like within the historical days they consider the entire enjoyable we used to have in the showers do you still do you continue to have the big oil bushy arse fluffy bit of downy fluff ah God memories remember the time you ancient Mitch go to the diner concert i could not go since I was recovering from a colossal automobile accident did he exhibit you the scar there you might be see that gift ship there acquired Jesse’s and that series of tiny little indentations all alongside me inside thigh the run the whole approach as much as me developing see the great food ah Tara’s half prior 1:00 within the morning you go off to sleep I was once just wandering around typically I are not able to sleep and i need a excellent walk to calm myself down you don’t mind do you no no you do that each one right so excellent night time and happy Christmas Ted God Almighty – i’m no longer going out of this room except the following day i do not danger bumping into that weirdo bina snootiness you see them turn off the light before you come up need you and please do not watch why Mackenzie panic it’s a damaging however my god the very fact I think it is dependable to say the burglar is without doubt within the street of nightmares Duggal I thoroughly instructed you not to watch that movie Ted no I wasn’t gazing a Ted I simply got here down to carry the milk round hello your holiness president Robinson well accomplished on the whole thing mr.De Niro good good I loved you in Godfather too he won’t be doing any more burglaries the place he is going Oh where’s that well let jail sure of course sorry however sergeant tell me how do you know a lot about me i’m enthusiastic about that myself anxious if that’s your actual title I already informed you it wasn’t how were you aware so much about father Crilley is that this off the record of path good I wasn’t selridge a few days ago bought speaking to this historical priest in a bar he used to be a bit cagey at first but a number of pictures of JD and he was singing like a chicken the golden cleric they name it giving it to an ancient friend of mine Ted Crilley met him on dolly mound strand as a listening a plan fashioned in my head we drank long into the night time me pay in a path him spilling his guts on a subjective maintaining an additional tanta cruelly you bought a mane a white hair kinda like it get on a mule wet the mattress ascend columns enormous bushy sure the longer he talked the better at gut and historic-timer named Jack Hackett and a poor strange idiot boy after that every one I needed was the proper costume priest I mean ye yeah that’s an extended story i was such as you a completely normal bathroom average run-of-the-mill cleric then I gained first prize in the country west meet priest to the ear competition the guess it went to my head after that I began hitting the altar wine too hard going convenient on persons in confession getting backhanders for doing quicker plenty all I wanted was once trophies and prizes however the person who rather bought me rough was once the golden cleric no no no today what I was once going to ask you as you’re a priest I imply why did you are taking the opposite monks garments i do not understand it used to be just going our method good I’ve got dangerous news for you so referred to as Tong juice that wasn’t off the record i’m making use of that as evidence in opposition to you ah that’s completely unfair take them away thanks sergeant they’ll be lucrative this father you both will have to be very pleased with yourselves now not one of these bad day in any case i’d say it is a useful one thing you will have pricey mrs.Doyle huh modern science it’s wonderful isn’t it it’s certainly and thanks once more father it’s the fine Christmas reward ever what about the tea laptop oh sure i’m going to go on crank it up correct now no i don’t just like the sound of that in any respect i’m sorry mrs. Doyle we’re simply gonna must get it constant oh no father don’t please what father i really like the whole tea making thing you know the playful splash of the tea is it hits the backside of the copper path of including the milk and gazing it accept a second before it filters slowly down via the cup altering the colour from dark brown to a lighter brown perching an not obligatory jaffa cake on the saucer like a proud soldier standing to awareness beside a big cup of tea oh just think father take into account the entire best instances we had when I used to make the tea tea mom you’re right mrs. Doyle you already know T out of computing device is like milk out of a baby’s bottle the baby does not need yet another bottle he desires it out of his mom’s make us each a nice natural cup of tea proper your father and do not you fear it’s going to be extremely good exquisite bloody hell have you learnt Dougal priesthood it’s no longer about awards and glamour it can be about difficult graft and attending to the religious needs of your parishioners you recognize that Tunxis fella that might had been me really that explains lots Google i don’t consider he picked up on what I intended there I would were a nasty priest you recognize i am gonna be lazy conceited now not giving a damn about the desires of my parishioners Ted it is mrs.Kill Cody she needs you to do a kind of remembrance plenty i’m nothing you already know doodle i’m sorry about my contemporary silliness you recognize you deserve this award as a lot as me rather thanks Ted that’s quality thanks very so much simply go away it oh you bet higher I consider yeah and my name on the plaque we will not trouble changing that each one right I i do know the awards mine and that’s good sufficient for me yeah there isn’t a gonna have a bat you understand help me calm down after the day k what are you doing simply having somewhat of fun .

"A Christmassy Ted" | Christmas Special | Father Ted | Dead Parrot

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"A Christmassy Ted" | Christmas Special | Father Ted | Dead Parrot

i have been doing various thinking just lately in well I I just don’t consider i’m reduce out for the priesthood I feel it’s time you and that i faced data you need us as priests within the country if now not the best safe haven sub percentage what i’m talking about don’t you yeah yeah I feel I do i’ll be off then come here here would you love a peanut peanut you stroll me down for me a peanut god do go oh sorry stated go to mattress you competent right here we go one two three whats up Dejan Oh the airhead oh wait no what good again yeah wait we get this sort of soft again again go on back Duggal just take a seat down Oh Ted can i open an extra window and the advent calendar first all right then however don’t forget you’re simply allowed to open state-of-the-art window Oh Shepherd first rate stuff oh god Ted are not able to open the other two no Dugan Ted I cannot wait to find out what’s behind the next day to come’s one I guess it can be a donkey or whatever all right so you might have transformed out of your preliminary prediction workplaces once more rude howl it can be sitting on a shared wasn’t God Almighty do go where do you get these things scorching i might say it is most commonly only a lovely angel what would you say is at the back of you Marvin to father Jack well who knows sure lady’s neck oh yes Father sure message understood God Almighty Dougal depart the calendar except the next day to come one other 12 months long gone it is rough to consider isn’t it I imply what’s all of it about Dugan good it doesn’t fairly have a story Ted you realize it’s just about football and stuff no dougela I imply existence you understand your slave away attending to the needs of your parishioners and what do you get a one-method ticket to Palookaville you realize I regarded in the reflect this morning and i noticed a center-aged grey-haired man staring again at me who used to be that me do woman oh yes of path it can be simply that I bought a Christmas card the day prior to this from father Jeff laughing he’s in Montana he makes $50,000 a yr and 2000 and pointers awesome how does he control that I do not know a lap dancing or some thing after which there’s father buzz Dolan in Canada he’s his own exhibit on cable and i hear he is landed a big phase in the new Bond movie all started for him when he received that golden cleric award let’s be nice to be famous have you learnt what i would love about being noted humans hearken to you they take heed to what you ought to say and i’ve quite a bit to assert what about when you’re doing all of your sermons Ted people take heed to you then do not they i know dude I mean folks I recognize you see you simply talked correct across me there even you do not take heed to me that’s no longer reasonable well I do are you watching forward to Christmas i’m indeed mrs.Doyle a quality quiet Christmas that is what I want a first-rate quiet Christmas without a distinguished incidents or unusual humans turning up that would go well with me all the way down to the ground a excellent quiet ordinary day-to-day Christmas oh there is the door i’m sorry is this mrs. Reilly’s residence no ed that is it simply down the road oh thanks very so much who used to be that Ted simply anybody we’re looking for Riley’s apartment she had a baby together with her for a moment I idea somebody had simply left it on our doorstep cut Ted could you imagine what would have happened if she’d left it with us yes we’ve been watching after and the whole thing and coming into all kinds of hilarious jams the entire thing would have been very very funny good it wouldn’t have been that humorous Ted definitely no and the drinks just come out here now you might have already punched on your resolution from milk and sugar so all the work is taken out of it even the state-of-the-art woman a lot of time for scheming sympathy glitch and might access coffee hot chocolate or Horlicks sure tea grasp rather takes the misery out of making tea well what do you believe probably I just like the misery for mrs.Doyle good suggestion Ted perfume is the ideal woman reward isn’t it yes that is why God invented fragrance so you do not must put any notion into whatsoever I used to stay Jack in the end oh they’ve obtained this exceptional pressed head where that you may put persons who do not wish to go looking they are able to simply stay there and have a laugh now we have on no account heard of that but there other men and women there are lots of individuals dead you can be quality perfume you suppose you’d be capable to scent it very precisely how we all know good we’re within the Hindi striking around close females secret matters it can be justice appear this manner oh no extra Underpants I imply I failed to want so many forms of Underpants huh I imply what did the parade around of them watching in mirrors always we received a little lost in the retailer that is why we’re right here gonna bit lost right here I feel that’s why you are here as good misplaced yes correct yeah that is it that is it examples you understand how over here it is ireland’s greatest Landry section I realize yeah I read that someplace the excellent strategies for us to get out of right here as rapidly as viable you understand for clergymen hanging around the freely section sure I see what you imply yeah let’s try this approach we’ve been here I recall these brows from the primary time round they all look the same to me no no these ones have double padding and the black clay sometimes lonely factor to reduce the physical games and additional-force straps for those who cross by way of a bra with a center artwork support and single pilot and the flight lace define then I think we’re on the correct track any individual’s coming to see you good not in view we have been watching for the toilet so we desired in right here with the aid of mistake it can be large it can be Ryan’s largest lingerie section I comprehend like this is the drawback we have eight clergymen striking around the lingerie part with one or two of us that’ll be embarrassing but rate we’re speaking countrywide scandal Oh the heels seem the equal proper very first thing don’t panic we’re in this factor let’s try to get out of it ok Billy i need you on factor for the clearly father D can you are taking up the again let’s go and hold it quiet I harm any individual maybe i’m just going loopy laundry section so long i do not think this sauce you are taking a rest image for the correct you go on factor however assume this kind of factor of the priest handiest two weeks in the past a good phase is to send me off to a couple bloody cat oh isn’t it i am gonna make you a promise at some point you and that i we’re gonna be in that new parish of yours sipping iced tea on the garden it can be somewhat bit only a memory can you hold onto that idea okay can you do that for me as good it is my silly fault for messing with the brass go ahead slowly sluggish you down pay attention we’re a team stick together there’s the exit thank God God appear in any respect those persons they most likely see us coming out perhaps for those who honestly purchase some Underpants then it would not seem so unusual they’re ladies’s Underpants awareness who’s received the most boring voice wash off the fanatics who’s bought probably the most boring voice this set were you inquiring for a dramatic pleasing voice no Newton said of boring he wanted an boring voice if so you have to excuse me for my impetuous interruption listen this is what we’re going to do what is going on on I think Ted has a plan no I mean customarily anyway after the laundry section females and gentlemen would you please convey your purchases to the checker because the steward selected clothes what’s mistaken Google took three lads pointing at a stare at head disappointing hi I’ve bought to do with Christmas oh honey how there is nothing within the Catholic scandal supplement in regards to the lingerie episode I suppose we bought away with it hi there Craig Holland parochial condo father Ted Crilley talking k Tom McCaskill right here hi there Tom how are you and the place are you you left a brand new north and hurry i’m in room oh when are you coming again when matters have died down a bit of I might have to head off to South the us for a while you realize she’s going to make a bloody fuck about it ah no that is now not fair catch up with you about that Lourdes factor looking a wee bit dodgy thus I washed it simply let me stop you right like proper there tom that money was once simply resting in my account anyway Ted we owe you a large favor forgetting the lad Joseph’s trouble the other day we’d like you to have a golden cleric the golden cleric you are no longer critical i am lethal serious Oh God i don’t think helpful when I consider of all of the other monks who bonnet you deserve it you managed to have but an extraordinarily intricate main issue and restrict one other rip-off when the church father bully in the relaxation of the lads will drop the award over to you the next day to come oh and is the reps are about this register em is there any sort of cash prize with – i’m afraid no longer tag but somewhat strapped for money here on the second anyway see you quickly doodle high-quality information you’re getting married natural is that a shaggy dog story yeah no i’m being given a golden clerical battle definitely excellent it is not everyday you went into Wars who’re no father you cannot have an award why not award a colossal yes there you’re exceptional balls all snapshot doodles take a photo Oh Ted can i keep up the next day night time to watch the scary movie oh no no no no the final time you watched a horrifying movie you needed to sleep in my mattress i would not mind but wasn’t even that horrifying film come on no Ted a Volkswagen with a intellect of its possess long past mad if that’s now not frightening I do not know what’s don’t it’s a children’s film if you can’t handle that how on this planet are you gonna be equipped to take a movie a couple of burglar who runs into individuals’s houses and kills every body is that is that what this one’s about sure if you want to make reward your possess age this movie the modern gossip or comfortably have a little bit of fun oh please chat back and speak to veggies you want to know right I got the presentation case for my award our exceptional ed notable I think i will put it right here over the creaky floorboard any robbers got here in and tried to rob my award will hear them only a few cheerful to get this award you realize it let me not be probably the most high monks in the nation once I get my award all proper zero saying there i’m probably the most high purpose within the country did you hear that I stated there only a second in the past I did yeah well it’s now not earlier than time father I constantly thought you have been one of the vital fine clergymen within the nation thanks very so much mrs.Doyle one of the pleasant or might be the first-rate just right one mrs. Doyle truthfully would you say i am the great priest in the nation at the second you don’t pass over new nation just say so I actually is not going to intellect i would say you perhaps the 2d first-class no it can be all right i’m now not the best priest in the country i’m honey the second quality there may be a person higher than me it seems that father I was once simply pondering of those clergymen working very poor areas oh yes of course those lads father Archbishop Desmond Tutu and the likes is a Protestant man all proper oh first-rate so Protestant is healthier than me proceed this i’m now not the satisfactory i am simply 2d fine it sounds as if the golden cleric is a runner-up prize good i’m so sorry definitely i’m simply an idiot without doubt I can’t even say Mass safely father don’t take it back that is what you said you said i’m no longer the quality peaceable in the nation that is high-quality just want to be aware of where I stand obviously now i am gonna have to jack it in priesthood i will write a letter to Bishop Brendan asked me for early retirement and perhaps after I go you can ask the other priest father Peter perfect the ultimate priest to return right here and you can work for him in view that he is definitely this type of satisfactory priest welcome to priest chat bank if you’re underneath 18 or now not a priest please hang up now you desire to communicate in regards to the Pope’s visit to Mexico say sure now if you wish to speak about being vaguely sad however not being in a position to determine precisely why say yes no wait yes yes whats up hi there no is that being vaguely sad but not being competent to determine precisely why no that is learn how to damage the information of a dying we were simply speakme about techniques I say it’s nice to just get it over with rapidly your husband’s lifeless and he is now not coming back get used to it yes but mostly a number of little hints support like keep in mind how your husband used to like a excellent snort my drawback is that I should be on top of the world due to the fact i’ve been given an award however the truth of the subject is that i know this can be a priest only line you know why Wow there while you were out on your stroll we had a cell call I consider you had been imagined to do a funeral today fully forgot about it can be all correct father McGuire mentioned he three it can be little need i am just so thinking about Christmas I can’t sleep do you under no circumstances get to sleep like that i am simply writing my speech for the following day god it’s extremely good up to now what do you set in speeches you told me thank every person would not you no now not on this case Dougal you see I bought this battle to my own initiative and rough graft so there may be nobody else to thank him except myself that is a excellent concept i’ll thank myself Wow is that the speech no he is just the notes fairly see right here for instance this can be a list of individuals who’ve really fucked me over down the years father Jimmy Fennell he particularly wishes taking down a peg or two and father PJ coward oh wait a minute he is on the incorrect list he will have to be beneath Liars as a substitute than twats final I obtained a risk to shine to face out to be well-known I respect it no dude I imply awareness of my my advantage of my achievements all right and what achievements of those hope Larry Duff’s coming capture my massive moment I shall supply him a name hope he makes it Larry’s tremendous phony frustrated he loves award ceremonies oh wait no he’s on holidays well i’ll disturb them anyway i am gonna try and get to sleep an extra time that’s little need Dooley she’s an effective way to fall asleep simply excellent empty your head of all pots i’ll provide it a go but I quite don’t amazing quite a lot of persons within the steady Ted it’s the one factor I did not count on do be taught to and open your grants I fully forgot about the grants first the calendar no offers I obtained any better than this you know I was racking my brains looking to feel what would mrs.Doyle particularly love for Christmas and then I idea you understand something to take the distress of creating tea mrs. Doyle the times of housekeepers making tea are over we can not reside in the dark ages you might have made your last cup of tea in this residence if i know individuals the way in which I consider I do she quite loves that present how were you aware i do know do not think I had observed these little recommendations he left mendacity around the place reward present reward gift reward gift rack off who would that be sermon is just not till – I’ve overlooked the ceremony hover no no in no way yeah have not transformed slightly yeah rascal and also you look at you you haven’t transformed either what well what about the hair all right from the hair it’s a it can be a it’s one other form color colour colour of course it it was purple brown blonde hey there hi there there are you back I suppose you instructed me all about it no why did you stick the ancient title and deal with in the the e-book you understand specifically the name very fundamental that you simply write the identify very very naturally i might love to inform however I can not fairly write you see one time last yr I used to be rollin with scissors and it fell and the close of the controls handwriting used to be totally severed father are you now not going to introduce me to the brand new father all correct fee of path really i’ll inform you what see if that you can bet Godfather certain it might be some thing nonetheless dog provide us a try father Andy Riley no father Desmond coin father George burn for the David Nicholson father chook ditch i will provide you with a clue ken Sweeney for their Neil Hannon father Keith : for the Ciaran Donnelly but their Mick McAvoy for the Jack White there Henry huge begging them for his or her Hank tree father Hiroshima Twinkie property bubble braveness so johnny has a poppin father Luke Duke but they are Billy funny father chewy Louie Papa John hoop fucker Harry Keitt Lynam additional nebula conundrum so the PB Stairmaster lifeless lips father Jemima rock Julie father Jerry twig father Sporto komodo for the Tuttle chest yes is that quite did she get ah come on Ted you knew already sure sure of path I used to be just amazed that she received it in Wow well underneath an hour good carried out mrs.Doyle so todd todd todd todd todd they are now Todd good old Todd how you get down there Todd how are you constant for a cup of tea Todd i would you prepare a hot toddy Todd do you want Todd whatever at all todd todd what time is the ceremony Ted good Todd it’s now not quite a ceremony i am sure to be just a very simple simple affair yes grandchildren about me i will be looking sir also is not going to be ok so Oh look dad what you love he knows salivate for them inform you i’m going to alternate the dominant stick palace however sorry i am sorry what’s the title Shan Shan sorry i do not ought to get into it but it just we want you there on the day you recognize a 2d or two and i’m day that is here any individual geared up round right here don’t talk to me you do not speak that place over there who loves when the rhythm kicks in and the track reveals itself through the counter rhythm which is there know what you equipped ok i do know first harder tell me what you see this hi who’s Ted and who’s Duggal hi there i’m Ted and that’s doogal there i’m doback he’s lifeless he’s over his dead father why does he want you via the stage he he need to be me dick man howdy i’m clearly a Shinto the golden cleric thanks very so much Ted have you ever idea about doing any tv work had crossed my intellect miss jeren agent no i’ll inform you what I supply this ad call still wonders for me well then right thank thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks good afternoon and welcome to the fifth annual presentation of the golden cleric each 12 months the Catholic Church offers an award to a priest for superb fulfillment this year’s winner is any one who’s overcome controversy in the past when rumors of monetary irregularities no no no however following a radical investigation no formal expenses had been ever made again so he was once simply resting in my account authorities have been burdened by what they saw as weird irregularities in his bills however he’s overcome all these personal setbacks oh come this year’s golden cleric ladies and gentlemen I give you father Ted Grilli who does not discontinue i’m on it rather of sticking with scores in public well well good good hi-yah I see some familiar faces here in these days some welcome some now not so welcome looks as if I’ve had the last chortle and quite a lot of men and women who particularly did not believe I had it in me to grow to be a tremendous priest good what I say to these persons is seem at me now but finally I obtained out of his headlock and now the place are you father a person hunter or give you some pygmies within the South Seas and where am i right here accepting a golden cleric award for being a prime priest he suggestion it will be a high-quality idea fine enjoyable to pour water on this young beginners mattress but of direction 30 years later the smile has been very a lot swiped a father Barry Kiernan’s face and now we transfer on to Liars follower Peter Sorensen farther Desmond Cairns recollect him well performed first-rate speech Ted it went good failed to it inform me you as wandering around in there for three hours sure it is eire’s largest land resection I realise all right oh no mr.Doyle that you could put that away and calm down sir we’re gonna check out the tea grasp how does it work Ted what am i able to not simply put the milk in no you see what you do is solely depart the cup there slide them this kind of cartridges here when the teachers comes in the market clutch so that’s superb yes well be aware of that I’ve gained an award i will be able to infrequently be seen consuming tea that is just been made in a pot the inspiration it just appears too good to be true watch the trap i’m sorry father your voice is just so boring i could not pay attention well do you have an incredibly boring voice I was just saying what’s the seize sorry failed to get it there both I imply excited about the tea master factor there need to be some kind of a catch oh oh there is no seize no watch this see perfect father there is any person there there may be virtually any individual like their father what do woman placed on that song good on the song that makes father Jack rise up what sorry about that Jack likes Assad to face up and up in the track comes up identical-identical it is only a bit fun yes good we we style of concept father Jack was once jumping by means of that window a little bit too traditionally that is why we put within the plexiglass anyway my speech what did you believe of us we all have a seem on the Christmas film yeah and now a distinctive elevated Latin Mass from san martin’s cathedral in dublin oh quality mass god I just remembered I supposed to be doing some thing terribly fundamental and the object I used to be imagined to be doing I simply remembered I’ve bought a mobilephone this fella on dying row that I befriended recently considering the fact that it is been finished the following day for mass homicide so i’d say he is pretty low on the second God Almighty did you do it oh you already know yes no sure do you want any support talking to him in view that he would get hysterical and crying and that i would say pull yourself together man all proper there may be been a colossal accident so I must go to I’ve received a cellphone name there the place you have been all someplace else proper so we’re not off saw father anxious you are coming too I might get you lift ah no house there was once a high-quality mass Alton Cosby is doing us i’m a giant fan of his he gives good mass but he really he really is aware of methods to work the altar appear at that chalice work effortless oh well we would be off so see you soon bye thanks for coming to the award ceremony where I acquired my award now on BBC one the director’s reduce of Jurassic Park with additional dinosaurs well that was a super day God was once dead it was a remarkable day incredible enjoyable i’d say it used to be one of the nice Christmas days ever Duggal I was once being sarcastic all proper hi there so used to be i who’s that fellow huh puppies I did not invite him did you yeah no that’s proper I barred you from inviting persons to the house after that tramp stayed for a week wasn’t a tramp Ted that used to be the high Minister of France no dooble he simply lied to you Todd honest i do not keep in mind him in any respect who the hell is he maybe he had a nickname like you recognize Terry Wogan what you imply that’s his actual name anyway don’t fear about it h ere you be gone in the morning seem at you mendacity in there like a enormous agent good right here all of us should not the entire plenty just like within the historical days they consider the entire enjoyable we used to have in the showers do you still do you continue to have the big oil bushy arse fluffy bit of downy fluff ah God memories remember the time you ancient Mitch go to the diner concert i could not go since I was recovering from a colossal automobile accident did he exhibit you the scar there you might be see that gift ship there acquired Jesse’s and that series of tiny little indentations all alongside me inside thigh the run the whole approach as much as me developing see the great food ah Tara’s half prior 1:00 within the morning you go off to sleep I was once just wandering around typically I are not able to sleep and i need a excellent walk to calm myself down you don’t mind do you no no you do that each one right so excellent night time and happy Christmas Ted God Almighty – i’m no longer going out of this room except the following day i do not danger bumping into that weirdo bina snootiness you see them turn off the light before you come up need you and please do not watch why Mackenzie panic it’s a damaging however my god the very fact I think it is dependable to say the burglar is without doubt within the street of nightmares Duggal I thoroughly instructed you not to watch that movie Ted no I wasn’t gazing a Ted I simply got here down to carry the milk round hello your holiness president Robinson well accomplished on the whole thing mr.De Niro good good I loved you in Godfather too he won’t be doing any more burglaries the place he is going Oh where’s that well let jail sure of course sorry however sergeant tell me how do you know a lot about me i’m enthusiastic about that myself anxious if that’s your actual title I already informed you it wasn’t how were you aware so much about father Crilley is that this off the record of path good I wasn’t selridge a few days ago bought speaking to this historical priest in a bar he used to be a bit cagey at first but a number of pictures of JD and he was singing like a chicken the golden cleric they name it giving it to an ancient friend of mine Ted Crilley met him on dolly mound strand as a listening a plan fashioned in my head we drank long into the night time me pay in a path him spilling his guts on a subjective maintaining an additional tanta cruelly you bought a mane a white hair kinda like it get on a mule wet the mattress ascend columns enormous bushy sure the longer he talked the better at gut and historic-timer named Jack Hackett and a poor strange idiot boy after that every one I needed was the proper costume priest I mean ye yeah that’s an extended story i was such as you a completely normal bathroom average run-of-the-mill cleric then I gained first prize in the country west meet priest to the ear competition the guess it went to my head after that I began hitting the altar wine too hard going convenient on persons in confession getting backhanders for doing quicker plenty all I wanted was once trophies and prizes however the person who rather bought me rough was once the golden cleric no no no today what I was once going to ask you as you’re a priest I imply why did you are taking the opposite monks garments i do not understand it used to be just going our method good I’ve got dangerous news for you so referred to as Tong juice that wasn’t off the record i’m making use of that as evidence in opposition to you ah that’s completely unfair take them away thanks sergeant they’ll be lucrative this father you both will have to be very pleased with yourselves now not one of these bad day in any case i’d say it is a useful one thing you will have pricey mrs.Doyle huh modern science it’s wonderful isn’t it it’s certainly and thanks once more father it’s the fine Christmas reward ever what about the tea laptop oh sure i’m going to go on crank it up correct now no i don’t just like the sound of that in any respect i’m sorry mrs. Doyle we’re simply gonna must get it constant oh no father don’t please what father i really like the whole tea making thing you know the playful splash of the tea is it hits the backside of the copper path of including the milk and gazing it accept a second before it filters slowly down via the cup altering the colour from dark brown to a lighter brown perching an not obligatory jaffa cake on the saucer like a proud soldier standing to awareness beside a big cup of tea oh just think father take into account the entire best instances we had when I used to make the tea tea mom you’re right mrs. Doyle you already know T out of computing device is like milk out of a baby’s bottle the baby does not need yet another bottle he desires it out of his mom’s make us each a nice natural cup of tea proper your father and do not you fear it’s going to be extremely good exquisite bloody hell have you learnt Dougal priesthood it’s no longer about awards and glamour it can be about difficult graft and attending to the religious needs of your parishioners you recognize that Tunxis fella that might had been me really that explains lots Google i don’t consider he picked up on what I intended there I would were a nasty priest you recognize i am gonna be lazy conceited now not giving a damn about the desires of my parishioners Ted it is mrs.Kill Cody she needs you to do a kind of remembrance plenty i’m nothing you already know doodle i’m sorry about my contemporary silliness you recognize you deserve this award as a lot as me rather thanks Ted that’s quality thanks very so much simply go away it oh you bet higher I consider yeah and my name on the plaque we will not trouble changing that each one right I i do know the awards mine and that’s good sufficient for me yeah there isn’t a gonna have a bat you understand help me calm down after the day k what are you doing simply having somewhat of fun .