Being a Charles Leclerc fan is just epic highs on Saturday to epic lows on Sunday

crying because the history of humanity is one of incredible suffering, but also incredible resilience. 

we’ve TRIED, goddamnit, and we’re STILL TRYING because the alternative is giving up.

and we’re living creatures. our instinct is to survive with one another and live as well as we can.

you DO have the power to change the world for the better, i promise.

i love you. 

Not so gentle reminder that this is an 18+ blog. If an age indicator is not easily available to me, I will assume you're a minor and block you. No hesitation. No mercy.

Sorry but if you really think that choosing not to vote for Joe Biden in the 2024 election is a good decision, please unfollow me and/or delete me as a follower. There is no situation in which any of the republican nominees would not be worse than Biden, and there is no other viable democratic or third party candidate. Like. I’m sorry but there’s just no way that’s going to happen, and the only other options are Donald Trump or Donald Trump wannabes. If I see another post saying that not voting for Biden is a good decision, I may for serious lose my mind. Do us both a favor get that sheer stupidity off my dashboard

Hey, you, with the trauma.

You're beautiful, you know that? Every time you fall apart, as you stand back up again and wipe the metaphorical dust off, you're exactly the figure that people make art about. You are a living breathing testament to human will, and no matter what you've been through, and how many times you've fucked up in your attempts to cope, I love you. I think your joy is important, and I know you can get there. It may take a while to feel out the footing, but you will make it out of your pit. I'm proud of you whether or not you feel like giving up right now. Truly.

After all, despite everything, you're still you!

Researching even more about Lord Byron, Glenarvon, The Lambs (Caro and William), and other studyblr/gradblr adjacent activity.

Here have a picture of Caro and William Lamb too, while we're here.

Yeah, so that thesis I was dreaming of and joking about years ago is a reality now. Get used to hearing about my weird ranting about Byron, his ex girlfriend and her husband because I know too much about these people. :P

BONUS: There will also be related Wuthering Heights and Emily Bronte ranting too. Because my project also involves her too. :)

I thought he said he was going to stop dragging that corpse around

How long can I keep up weekly updates? Who knows? I guess we’ll find out together!

Hey the good thing is, we as a fandom are all disappointed together 😂

People on twitter sure made funny posts about it 😂 I mean we're kind of used to it by now, aren't we? At least we're all in it together. And no one can take Mulder and Scully from us.

i very rarely notice that i'm blocked but i did just now when trying to open a read more and not being able to and then checking the blog and the post and reading it and realizing op's analysis is pretty much spot on and i was right to go after the post.. this is so sad i'm 1000% sure it's my incest crimes that did it💔 hehe

Y’know it’s fucking crazy—like Leo is a really stark example but I show my new friends pics my mom sends me from when I was like sixteen or eighteen & they’re fully like “that looks like a completely different person.” If they didn’t know it was me they’d think it was a cousin or something. Which is insane

Things That Make Me Doubt Being A System

1. Having Really Good Communication

I haven’t actually ever heard of a system like us in this respect, when we were little we were incredibly empathetic and between all of the christian teachings of ‘Put others first’ and ‘Treat others like you wan’t to be treated’ and in particular Horton Hears A Whos’ ‘a persons a person no matter how small’ we (knowingly or not) became very good at communication and sharing the body. 

We talked to each other all the time and it was not very often (infact literally I only know one(1) alter whose ever fronted fully alone) that we had less that 2-3 of us near the front when we were younger because we relied on each other and trusted each other more than we trusted ourselves. we wanted people to be nice to us all the time so we tried very hard to be nice to people all the time especially each other. This led to alot of trust and respect and very good open communication (though it did break down almost entirely once we found out we were a system and were working on actively achieving what we used to have without trying)

2. Being Good At ‘Co-Fronting’

I hate this one in particular because I’ve seen so many “Signs They’re Faking The Disorder” with this being on of the main ones. 

We managed to get it to an art of fronting, having up to 20 of us aware of what was going on at once, all giving advice and emotional support. we would have at least one soother, one booster (our name for alters who raise the vibe and give high energy) alters who didn't feel, alters who did feel and would be restrained while feeling for the body so we didn't create an outburst or shutdown entirely by neglecting our feelings. Alters who were aware of every surrounding factor physically, alters who would have lists for everything going on in our friends lives so we wouldn’t overstep any boundaries or be ignorant to their feelings, alters who were  incredibly book smart, and alters who were just there to have fun with the rest of us while we were working destress us so we didn’t have to clock out of the front sooner than we could. 

It took years to perfect it and once we did pretty much everything in life became so much easier, some of us consider this ‘functioning-multiplicity’ though in many ways it was very unhealthy it saved so much pain for us, and at the very least, aside from the horrendous anxiety and depression, it made fronting fun. It became something we looked forward too because it was a way to hang out, it made life less scary to be scared with a friend. Even those of us who were unaware of being a system knew to an extent, even if we didn’t know what we were aware of. It also helped our memory having so many alters around to remember and cover each others blank spots.

3. We Can’t Unmask (or a lot of us at least)

(Hi I switched in cuz we got a little dissociated, idk who i am but i know im not whoever was writing before lol) 

Because of how good many of us are at fronting with others, not only do we now find it near impossible to front alone, we have no clue who we are outside of the headspace,,, like ever. In order to fight the disassociation of having so many of us in the front at once we, instead of fighting it, leaned into it. 

We became comfortable with becoming the hazy, mushy, blur that is uncertainty of being in the front. Not knowing where you end or someone else begins or if you even are who you thought you were. Not knowing where you are but having a vague feeling that some part of you does know and trusting it, leaning into the unknown into the mess into the whatever the fuck it is and finding it safe. 

Now when I’m in the front I’m so terrified of being seen that I lean into whoever’s around me to find the comfort of not knowing, I can’t be hurt if I don’t know what hurts or what there is to attack. I don’t know who I am and I don’t know what I’m like in the body unmasked and quite frankly I don’t think I want to know. 

Losing yourself and wrapping yourself in someone else is so much better that being alone and vulnerable

I have a feeling were going to be adding more onto this when others come out and rock up with their own insecurities but for the 2 of us who did write this is probably the biggest things for us

I love it when people use "shrimp" to mean "beyond the human range". like "shrimp colors" but applied to other things. "shrimp emotions" "shrimp sounds" "shrimp morality", as if shrimp are living some kind of transcendent existence that humans can never comprehend

For those of you who weren’t able to get 100% of the total solar eclipse today… I gotchu <3

"This person has a secret onlyfans!" "This artist does NSFW commissions!" "This author writes porn on the side!" I cannot begin to tell you how swag and awesome that is.

Hey all, you know how internet searches suck now? When the results are awful, full-of-AI, death-of-the-internet levels of bad?

Start appending date constraints to your searches - "before:2023".

My results have gone from 90% AI bullshit to ~60% usable - which frankly at this point is a huge improvement.