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hackerqueen · 10 months

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Another Love

Chapter 2: Burning pile

Previous chapter <-

warnings: sex scene, mental breakdown

I shut the door behind me loud enough for him to hear me come. We hadn't seen each other for a week and a half, and my whole body felt the separation. I managed to hang my coat on the hanger when I heard his hoarse voice from behind me.

– You came late. – he announced in a not very pleased tone – Where were you?

I bit my lip as I turned to face the tall, tattooed boy with his arms folded across his chest. He looked at me curiously, probably imagining what I could do. I decided to do what I can do best. To lie.

– My visit at Hannah's has been extended. You know, bouquets and decorations and all that stuff. – I replied giving him the best smile

The man visibly relaxed and then came closer to me, he was within reach of my hands. Trying to control the chaos in my mind, I pressed my lips against his without hesitation and threw my hands around his neck. The kiss was aggressive, dirty and needy from the start. Because that's what I needed at that moment. Or at least that's what my fucked up brain told me.

His strong hands found their way to my hips, gripping tightly. Our kiss deepened and our tongues joined in some kind of dance. I gasped as I felt his hands slide down to my ass and squeeze it tightly.

– Christ MC, what happened to you? – he asked between kisses with a slight laugh

I pulled away from his mouth and looked into his brown, warm eyes.

– It's been a really long day. – I murmured and my hand slid to his chest. – Would you like to help me relax?

A killing smirk played across the boy's lips as he grabbed my thighs without warning and lifted me up.

– With pleasure.

The rest of the night was just snippets for me. I remember we landed on the bed after that, his hot hands quickly stripping off whatever clothes I was wearing. He touched me firmly, and the feeling of his skin on mine was refreshing. I got rid of his leather jacket, which I threw in the corner of the room. We were naked, but I felt like I was back in summer California for a moment. Sweat poured from our bodies and hot breaths mingled with each other. I will always remember the moment he hovered over me, his eyes staring deeply into mine. He entered me and my gaze was clouded with lust. He was indecisive, sensitive. As if he allowed to overshadow lust with emotions.

Just not that.

I pushed him hard and he landed on his back. I sat on his lap and was instantly immersed in him. My body was driven by some crazy, animal need to control the situation, which was missing in my life now. The man's head tilted back slightly, and our breaths turned into moans and grunts. I rode him fast, his dick hitting the spot where I really needed it. It wasn't long before we both climaxed. In a rush of pleasure, I threw my head back and grabbed my breasts and started squeezing my already hard nipples. I came screaming his name.

– Phil! – several seconds later I tried to calm my raging heartbeat and rapid breathing. Phil pulled me to him, hugging me and drawing unfamiliar patterns on my back

– You are amazing. And hot. – he confessed, still trying to control his trembling voice. – It's really madness that I have a woman like you in bed.

Yes. It's madness.

* * *

Phil fell asleep quickly. It wasn't a surprise, he always did that after sex. So he didn't see me lying awake until dawn wondering what the hell I was doing. He didn't hear me as I slipped into the bathroom, slid down the door, and pressed my hand over my mouth to muffle the silent sobs that tore from my heart. Tears flowed down and I hated myself even more because I didn't know why. I made violent decisions, and later paid for it with tears and self-harm. I didn't know how much time had passed, but I finally got up from the cold tiles and went to the mirror. I wiped my tears, forced a smile. Barely visible, but a smile. I was strong. And what I've been through will only make me stronger. As usual, I vowed to myself that this was the last time I allowed myself to be broken like this. This is only a one-time situation caused by a visit to the cemetery. After all, I moved on.

I went back to bed and Phil didn't notice I was gone.

* * *

I woke up to light kisses on my neck. I furrowed my brow and hit the reason for my awakening. I heard a soft groan and opened my eyes.

– Even in your sleep you have to be aggressive? – He laughed and I slapped him twice as hard

– Never wake me up at – I checked the time on the clock on the nightstand. – Nine o'clock?" Are you crazy getting up at this time on a weekend?

– No, you're the sleeping beauty. – he replied back and I rolled my eyes. – Jessy will be there soon. You made an appointment with her and you weren't at the apartment, so I texted her that you are at my place.

I clenched my jaw slightly, but ignored all the comments I wanted to make about it. I got out of bed and quickly started getting dressed.

– Damn, this is the view in the morning. – I heard Phil's comments as he spread out on his bed. – We could do this more often.

I turned around and gave him a questioning look as I pulled on my pants.

– I mean.. well, maybe it's time we decided what our relationship is? – he paused, looking at my reaction. – Maybe we should move in together?

I stood frozen, staring blankly into his face. Phil, a womanizer just proposed to me? In a weird, twisted way, but still. I swallowed and nervously laughed.

– You know I care a lot about you. – he said very seriously, and I felt my palms sweating. – Damn, MC, I don't know what you did to me. I've never acted like this with any girl. And you are a walking mystery. Why won't you let me in? Why are you afraid of falling in love?

– Love is scary! This feeling of falling terrifies me. The only way it ends is with hitting the ground. – I replied sourly and saw him open his mouth to protest and start convincing me of his point. I closed my eyes and rubbed a hand over my forehead. – Shit Phil, I have no idea. I need more time.

– I've been giving you time for almost two years! – He raised his voice and I flinched

The silence was broken by the ringing of my phone. Jessy saved me from this dramatic conversation by informing me that she was already at the block.

– Look, I don't have the head to talk about this right now. I have to go. – I said quietly and heard the boy curse under his breath. I sighed and walked out of the room and out of his apartment.

With a heavy heart, I got into Jessy's red Volvo. Girl greeted me with a meaningful smile that said only one thing.

– So you're with my brother?! – she asked, not hiding her enthusiasm, which I quickly extinguished

– Jessy, we're dating. It's a big difference. – The girl sighed but nodded – I don't want to rush.

I've already rushed once and let my heart give itself to a man far too soon.

Jessy stroked my shoulder, which brought me some comfort.

– I'm sorry, I understand. I know I wasn't there when you needed me, so I don't want to put pressure on you. – she said honestly, and I felt my heart melt. We have only recently started to renew our relationship.

– Thank you. – I whispered, and my friend gave me a warm and sweet smile. – So we're going to breakfast?

The red-haired girl nodded with satisfaction and headed towards the Rainbow Cafe. Rihanna's well-known hits were playing on the radio, which additionally improved my mood. I watched the passing views through the car window. The blissful, pleasant moment was interrupted by the moment when on one of the streets I saw a man who was dressed all in black and had a hood on his head. I couldn't see his face, but the sight made me jerk my face up from the window.

– Jessy! – I said louder which scared the girl – Jessy, stop the car!

– What? Why?

– It was him! Jessy it was him. – The words flowed out of me like a maniac. Like I was in a trance. – Stop that fucking car!

Jessy stopped abruptly, and I hastily ran out of the car towards the alley where I had previously spotted the figure. No no no.

– MC? Who are you talking about? – she asked in a scared voice. – You scare me.

I was breathing fast, trying to find a suitable explanation for my behavior. I turned to Jessy and shook my head calmly.

– Something confused me. Never mind. – I waved my hand, ignoring my performance from a minute ago. – We'd better go get some food because I'm starving.

Jessy looked at me strangely until we got back to her car. I fastened my seatbelt and unfazed, began changing the song on the radio.

And I sat there with a calm and cold face as the pile burned inside me, just like in a radio song.

#duskwood jake #duskwood #duskwood fandom #everbyte duskwood #duskwood fanfiction #duskwood jake x mc #jake duskwood #duskwood mc #duskwood everbyte #duskwood game #duskwood phil

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lizziebathory42 · 1 year

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Should you watch the 2022 Willow series?

tldr: probably yes, at least give it to episode 3 and don’t take things too seriously

Long answer: (episode 1 mild spoiler alert, I’m being deliberately vague in places)

The Good

Willow (the series) is a fairytale. Every episode starts with a book opening, like old Disney movies, and the first episode opener is narrated by Joanne Whaley. If you love fairytales, you’ll probably enjoy yourself.

It’s a very sincere series. Everything that someone predicts comes true in one way or another. All the symbols have meaning, dialogue is echoed from episode to episode, setups are paid off. Costumes and hairstyles are used as symbolism and you can dive as deep or as shallow into the lore as you like, it won’t affect your enjoyment if you just want to turn off your brain and watch.

side note: I am a willow lore scuba diver, let my bias be known

The jokes are quippy (think Buffy the vampire slayer-esque) the cast is gorgeous not that beauty is necessary and is of course subjective but I like em pretty and you can’t tell me the whole cast isn’t a snack, okay and the story is an adventure full of fantastic battles, puzzles, character growth and friendship. The sets mostly seem real and the effects are mostly practical, with just the right touch of CGI for impossible things.

The Bad

The sincerity of Willow has thrown some people off from the reactions I see online. The current climate of media is one of PLOT TWIST out of nowhere. Especially where you, the viewer, find out after the fact what were the motivations and moving parts of a decision made by a character. Willow tells you what will happen before it happens, if you’re paying attention. This is not a mistake, this is by design.

I do find I have issues with the lighting when I’m watching on my phone, and I’ve heard complaints from people who watch on TV about the lighting as well. I don’t have issues with it on my computer screen. Not every episode suffers from this problem, but notably episodes 3, 4 and 6. I wish they’d made the light come from where the music was coming from.

The reactions to the music and dialogue being more modern have been mixed, but it’s never personally bothered me. It was jarring for me when the modern cover didn’t go over the credits for one episode and then went back to going over the credits.

The Best

You don’t need to watch the movie before starting the series. It will give you some additional context and a few easter eggs, but it’s not necessary viewing. Willow stands on it’s own merits.

All the relationships progress in satisfying ways and the party composition is delightful. There are character tropes but they’re subverted in frankly fun ways.

Take the cocky, arrogant prince/hero and the frivolous princess damsel-in-distress, swap the genders and you have Kit and Airk.

Want a devoted knight? Here’s she is! She’s bad-ass, smart, devoted and quietly in love with the princess.

The “Gandalf” of the group, if you will? Reluctant to use actual magic, is a devoted father and basically mayor of his village.

The reluctant hero/chosen one is a woman who loves a domestic task and wants to marry her love.

She becomes more powerful by embracing her emotions, ALL her emotions, jealousy, anger, fear hate, the whole dark side. She’s allowed to be a bit of an airhead, indecisive, scared and comes into her power by accepting all parts of herself. It’s really good, yall.

In conclusion, if you watched Willow and you liked it, take a minute to let Disney+ know so we get season’s 2 and 3.

#thank you for coming to my ted talk #willow #willow 2022 #willow series #willow disney+#full disclosure i loved the movie since i was little #im super into the series

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nelapanela94 · 2 years

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The image of Levi getting you on all fours had been loitering in your wildest dreams for quite a while. The stage was always alternating, though; sometimes it took place in his office, or your room, even in the middle of the forest, and definitely with much less clothes involved. Just your subconscious screening your inchoate feelings and carnal desires.

But it was nothing like this. Absolutely nothing like this.

You stood on your knees for a quick break and wiped off the beads of sweat off your forehead. “Don’t forget to clean behind the toilets” He nonchalantly said as you watched him leaving the bathroom.

A growl escaped from you. “How is tea supposed to taste, then?” you shouted. With a tight grip, you furiously grabbed the brush and continued scrubbing the mud off the floor, wondering why men were so gross. “Stupid shorty” you clenched your teeth. “Just for that stupid tea.”

He drove you crazy, yet you liked him. You just could not take him out of your head; not that you wanted, though.

“Why that shitty face, Levi?” You teased. “If you do your bit, we’ll have a wonderful weekend together” The rattling noise of the wooden wheels hitting the cobblestone was getting on your nerves, and the ravenette was your only source of distraction.

“Tch” He didn’t bother to glance at you; the view from outside the window should’ve been more appealing. “You always so loud and obnoxious, brat.” He rolled his eyes. “We’re in a mission not on vacation. The lump of shit you have for brain already forgot?”

“Ouch” you placed your hand on your chest, near your heart, and faked a hurting look on your face. “Why are you always so mean, Levi?”

“It’s not like you’re special” He finally turned his head towards you, crossing his arms over his chest. Because of Erwin, he was stuck with you on this mission. Your task was to formally request to Mr. Weber the funds to carry out the next expedition, and Levi was there to guarantee its success.

“I think you like me” You shot blatantly, and a black, thin eyebrow lifted at you.

“When will you stop pestering?”

You took a seat by his side; traveling sitting backwards in the carriage was worsening your motion sickness. Levi growled and moved the closest he could to the window.

“Once you admit you want to get under my pants” You drew right next to him, your thigh touching his.

“As if” He snorted, glaring at you. “Who’d like that?”

“There’re some guys in line” A smirked bloomed on your lips.

“Then ask one of them and leave me alone” He changed seats, and he was now sitting at the bench in front of you.

“You are no fun, Levi” you whined, and shifted your position leaning your back against the window, your legs stretched out along the seat. “The one I want is you” you muttered for yourself.

“What was that?”

“That you’re a pain in the ass”

Upon your arrival in Ehrmich District’s, the driver informed that due to a foreboded storm for the night, you should stay over and resume the journey to Mitras the next morning.

“I don’t mind sharing a room with you, Levi” you toyed with a lock of hair and winked at him. Levi rolled his eyes; you were exasperating.

You entered a small tavern near the inn as a low growl roamed in your belly and you were glad the loud atmosphere disguised your hunger. The eyes of the diners landed on you; military police officers, businessmen, craftsmen and workers frequented the place. A pretty woman in such place was a weird specimen. Their mischievous grins and lascivious glances soon faltered when they realized who your companion was.

Your eyes traveled over the menu again and again; everything looked good and you were indecisive.

“What do you want to eat?” Levi shot and you glanced at him, your chin resting on the palm of your hand, while the waiter was rocking back and forth on his feet next to your booth. “You would be my first option”

Levi ran his fingers through his hair and sighed in frustration. “Tch, roasted lamb for her” The young waiter nodded and jotted it down. “And an ale” you added.

Leaning back in the seat, you rubbed your belly when you finished your meal. “I don’t think I can move”

“Let’s go” Levi came back and offered his hand to help you to stand up. “Wait, I still need to pay my...”

“Let’s go”

“But... wait, don’t tell me you...” Your eyes beamed in excitement. “Is this a date?”

“Not even in your dreams” You walked side by side down the street on your way back to the inn.

“You know what? Under that armor, I think you’re a sweet guy” you confessed, your cheeks turning slightly pink. A snort left from Levi, and glanced at you searching for the last shred of sanity you had left. He needed to put an end to your madness.

Levi stopped on his tracks, and you turned around cocking your head slightly to the side, throwing him a questioning look.

“Listen carefully” He placed his hands on your shoulders and leaned closer, his intense gaze piercing through your soul. “I would never fall for a crazy, loud, obnoxious woman like you.”

You blinked twice at his harsh words; petrified for a moment everything you longed for began to shattered in your heart. You snapped his arms off of you and swiveled around, wiping off your tears with the sleeve of your dress. “Go get ahead” you maffled. “I’ll take a detour”

“Don’t be foolish” he snarled and tried to grab your wrist, but you shoved his hand away. “I’m being serious, Levi” and you resumed your way, taking a longer path.

It was far from a rich girl’s whim; maybe it began like a whim, but soon later, your feelings for that stupid shorty grew stronger and you needed him. Like everything else in your life, you either bought it, stole it or took it by force; nonetheless, you realized that the heart didn’t work that way. Thus, you attempted to learn about his interests; you tried to make tea even when you grew up without setting a foot in a kitchen, and despite having servants who helped you get dressed and comb your hair every morning you did your best on cleaning days. You read every book in his collection to take a glimpse at his soul, and paid attention to any detail that could reveal his odd habits and unique fixations.

You wanted to break into that shell and discovered his mysteries.

Maybe in another life.

He’d never regret what he said. It was for your own good he swore. Somehow, Levi had grown fond of you, but he’d never admit it. In fact, he wanted to lock those feelings away from him, he wanted them to leave him alone. But his head was playing tricks in his head, and the image of you always smiling at him invaded his mind anytime.

You were the granddaughter of a nobleman, surrounded by fine clothing, delicacies and jewelry; and him, on the other end of the spectrum, was a boy without a name who grew up not knowing if he would have food on his plate or clean clothes for the following day. He had nothing to offer you; someone like him would be a disgrace to your family, and doubtlessly you would end up out of the will.

He knew he had acted like an asshole, but it was for a good cause; without him you’d be better off.

However, this time he had a hunch, a bad feeling took over him, and he needed to find you.

A man in his forties and with a very dreadful appearance had you up against the wall, in a dark, dead-end alley. "For one like you they would pay very well" His deathly breath hit your face and you just wanted to vomit. With one hand he covered your mouth, while the other held your hands prisoner over your head. Tears rolled down your cheeks, and you just cursed yourself for the stupid decision to walk alone on those unknown streets.

Everything happened so fast. In seconds, the man was lying on the ground, blood gushing from his mouth as his insides became victims of Levi's merciless kicks until his crying ceased.

Levi ran towards you and took a quick look at your bruises “Are you ok? Did he...?”

“I...I’m alright” your voice was weak. Seeing you crying was breaking his heart but he was not the best when comforting others. His arms awkwardly wrapped around you and he let you rest you head on his shoulder.

Holding you so close to him and feeling your warmth was electrifying; his heart and body were yearning for more. It hurt to have you so close, yet so far.

Maybe one day he’ll let his heart win, maybe.

“You’re safe now” he whispered.

#levi ackerman #attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #aot #snk #levi attack on titan #snk levi #levi aot #levi ackerman x you #levi ackerman x reader #levi x you #levi x reader

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justmypartner · 3 years

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Just the Time

Summary: Part 2 to my fic Overtime. When Jay finally acquires the perfect ring for Hailey, he can’t decide on a plan to propose. However, his plans may need to shift when Hailey catches him in a lie.

Writer’s Note: Hi everyone!! I hope you are all surviving hiatus okay! I never thought I’d actually make a part 2 to Overtime (my first fic ever!), but that Upstead proposal had me feeling some type of way. So, in the spirit of proposals I thought it would be a perfect time to write part 2. You don’t have to read Overtime to know what’s going on, but it does provide additional context! As always, thank you so much for reading!!

“It’s perfect,” Jay said as he admired the beautifully dainty piece of jewelry that was finally his and soon to be Hailey’s. An uncontrollable smile came across his face thinking about finally giving it to her, and he knew it was going to be a hard secret to keep.

“I’ll go get a box for you,” the woman behind the counter told him with a friendly smile before disappearing into a back room.

It had been a long few months of saving money and taking overtime shifts, but he finally had enough to buy the ring. It wasn’t a fun or easy journey. He was working normal Intelligence cases, then putting on his old patrol uniform and working night shifts any time they came available. The first gig he and Hailey did together. She thought it was his idea of an unorthodox date and she jumped at the opportunity to see him on patrol, but when he continued to pursue overtime gigs without her, she began to question why he was so desperate for money. He was able to come up with an excuse that he wanted to do some modifications to his truck. Luckily, she wasn’t invested enough to question him further, but the extra work was beginning to wear him down and this did not go unnoticed by her. Seeing him continue to take the gigs despite how exhausted he was, led her to question his intentions once again. He was only one paycheck away from finally having enough money to pay off the ring when she suggested he slow things down for a while to recover from the heavy load he had taken on. He agreed and her skepticism began to cool back down.

The drive home was spent with a hundred ideas circulating in his brain about the proposal. He’d been trying to come up with an idea since he picked out the ring, but his indecisiveness stood in the way of any real plans. Their one year anniversary was coming up, and he knew he wanted to propose then, however, he just wasn’t sure how. Proposing after just one year together may be too soon for any normal couple, but they weren’t any normal couple. He spent years loving her, wasting time burying his feelings, but now he was done wasting time. She was his future, his forever person, and he wanted to make that official.

The ring was perfect, he just needed a proposal that matched its level of unique simplicity. He knew her, and he knew she wouldn’t want anything too traditionally girly or extravagant, but he also knew she deserved something special. Not something cliche like popping the question in a restaurant or hiding the ring in the bottom of a champagne glass. It needed to be deeper than that and it needed to represent them, he just wasn’t sure what that would look like. His brainstorming was cut short when he pulled up outside of their building. He eyed the ring resting on the seat beside him, and he knew whatever idea he came up with wouldn’t hold a flame to the happiness he’d have when he finally slipped that ring on her finger. He didn’t want to bring the box up to the apartment on the off chance she would accidentally come across it. She was an elite detective after all. So, he locked it in the glove compartment of his truck and made his way upstairs.

“There you are!” He heard her call out from the kitchen as he opened the door. The smell of coffee and waffles filled the room, and he smiled to himself, knowing her weekend routine like the back of his hand.

“Hi, beautiful,” he told her, making his way around the counter to leave a peck on her lips.

A frown came across her face when he pulled away as her eyes traveled down to his empty hands before making their way back up to his face.

“I thought you said you were going to the store?” She questioned, her brow furrowed as the words left her mouth.

It took everything in him not to express the panic in his mind. In the excitement of finally getting the ring, he forgot to actually go to the store, the errand he told her he was running when she questioned why he was quietly escaping the bed earlier that morning.

“I- well I got out the door and Will called saying he needed my help. He locked himself out of his car, so he called me for the spare. By the time I got over there, I figured it would be too late to go to the store, so I just came back here. I can go out after work,” he told her, leaning forward to leave another light kiss on her lips. He was grateful for his experience in undercover that allowed him to think of an excuse on the fly.

She nodded, but she wasn’t fully convinced of his story. She grew up in an environment that had her consistently questioning the truth behind what she was told by her loved ones. She never felt the need to do that with Jay, something she found comfort in. But in that moment, she noticed a familiar hesitation in his voice that made her uneasy. He also seemed nervous, and she wasn’t quite sure why. Yet, she trusted him, so she decided to let it rest. She knew if it were important enough, he would tell her whatever it was when he was ready. Jay was just relieved that she didn’t press him further.

They had breakfast together before heading into work. It was a strange day. They hadn’t been called onto a new case all morning, so they spent the day catching up on paperwork. It was the type of day that had Adam climbing the walls, but everyone else was grateful for the rare quiet. Particularly, Jay, who took advantage of the quiet by conjuring up proposal ideas in his head.

By the end of the day, they were all dragging, running off of coffee and pacing the bullpen floor between their bouts of paperwork.

“Alright, everyone is coming out to Molly’s tonight. I don’t care if you already have plans. Cancel them. After this slow ass day, we’re popping things off tonight,” Adam announced, shoving himself away from his desk and rising from his chair the second it was six o’clock.

After heading out of the district, they all made their way to Molly’s to meet Adam’s wishes. Adam was already there when Jay and Hailey arrived, sitting next to an amused looking Kevin who watched his friend challenge a bunch of Squad 3 guys to a drinking challenge.

Jay settled at a table near the back as Hailey made her way to the bar to get them drinks, leaving a kiss against his temple and sliding a hand across his back before stepping away. Will was at the bar, engaged in a conversation with Herrmann when she walked up.

“Hey Will,” she said, nudging her shoulder against his as she stepped up to the bar.

“Hey there,” he replied back with a smile, bringing his glass to his lips.

“Two beers please,” she said to Herrmann in a sweet tone before settling on the barstool next to the doctor.

“So did you end up finding your keys?” She asked, remembering the story Jay had told her earlier that morning.

“Uh, what?” Will questioned, sending her a look of confusion.

“Your keys? Jay said he had to meet you this morning to give you the spare…” her voice trailed off, a feeling of suspicion building up in her stomach at Will’s clueless expression.

“Oh… yeah…” he let out as his eyes travelled over to his brother across the bar. “Yeah, I found them in my locker at work. Late shift last night, must have just blanked,” he admitted unconvincingly. Hailey’s eyes narrowed at him, and she bobbed her head slowly as she began to officially question why the two of them were lying to her. Herrmann set the drinks in front of her on the bar, and she thanked him, sending a departing nod to Will before making her way back over to Jay.

“So, Will found his keys,” she said, setting the bottles on the table between her and Jay before sliding onto the chair across from him.

“Wait, what?” He asked, causing her to raise a questioning brow at him, anger rising in her chest. He looked at her and then over at Will, confusion still forestalling his understanding. Then it hit him. His cover from earlier.

“Why are you lying to me Jay?” She questioned straightly, a steely tone in her voice.

“What? No, I-“ he paused. He couldn’t lie to her again, but he also couldn’t tell her the truth without ruining the surprise. He sighed in defeat. “Look right now, I can’t tell you where I was. It’s nothing bad. I promise. I just can’t tell you and need you to trust me,” he pleaded.

Her lips folded together, and she nodded in annoyance before rising from her chair to walk away.

“Hailey, wait,” he said, grabbing gently at her arm before she could make her way past him.

“No, Jay. I don’t do lying and you know that. Whatever it is, good or bad, you could have just said you couldn’t tell me yet and I would have respected that. Instead, you lied, but don’t worry your brother did too,” she shook her head with frustration. Suddenly, an eerie feeling of déjà vu brought her back to the many times as a kid when her mother would cover her father’s stories and excuses with even more lies. “I’m going home,” she told him, tearing away from his grasp.

“Let me at least drive you,” he said, a softness in his eyes.

“No, I’ll call a car,” she said before walking away and out to the street.

Will must have noticed their interaction and was making his way over to his brother.

“Dude, what the hell is going on?” He questioned, sliding into the chair Hailey had just fled from.

“I picked up the ring this morning and had to lie about where I was so she wouldn’t find out. Now, she’s pissed,” Jay said, taking a large swig from his bottle.

“Why don’t you just go tell her?” Will questioned.

“I want it to be perfect. She deserves something special, and I haven’t had the chance to figure out what that is yet. Now is just not the time,” he admitted.

“Or now is just the time. Jay, no matter how you ask that girl, she’s going to say yes a million times over. There may never be a perfect time or place to ask her, and if you wait too long, it may be too late to get the answer you want. Don’t ruin this thing you’ve got because you’re too stuck in your head. The two of you are meant for each other, I know it. So don’t overthink it. Just do it,” Will shrugged, bringing a hand to Jay’s shoulder as he tried to talk sense into him. Jay nodded at his words, rising from his chair to go chase after her.

“Hailey,” he called out as he caught sight of the blonde waiting at the corner.

“Jay, I’m really not in the mood,” she breathed out, her body still facing the street.

“Hailey, please. I just need you to trust me.”

“Jay, you know I trust you,” she said, twirling around to face him. “I’ve trusted you from the day I met you-” she got out, and suddenly it clicked in his head. He knew exactly where and how he wanted to ask her. He pulled out his keys, clicking the lock for his truck before grabbing her hand and pulling her towards it.

“Jay, what are you doing?” She protested, pulling away as he tried to drag her towards the truck.

“Hailey, please. Cancel your ride and get in the truck, we have to go back to the district,” he said, continuing to pull her with him.

“The district? Jay, what is going on?” She frowned, planting her feet firmly when they reached outside the passenger door of his truck.

“I’m going to tell you everything, just get in the truck.”

She eyed him, crossing her arms as she stood her ground.

He stepped closer to her, hunching over so he was eye level with her and bringing his face inches away from hers.

“Get. In. The. Truck. Please,” he whispered. She gave in, shaking her head in annoyance before climbing in. He leaned forward, stealing a kiss from her lips, eliciting an eye roll and a reluctant smile out of her.

“For the record, I’m still pissed at you,” she said.

“Hopefully not for long,” he teased before shutting the door.

Back at the district, he turned off the engine, jumping from the driver’s seat and running to her side of the truck to open the door.

“Jay. What are we doing here?” She questioned. He brought a finger up to his lips in response before offering her a hand to get out of the truck. Once she was out, he reached in, grabbing the ring from his glove compartment before putting it in his pocket and shutting the door. He grabbed her hand, leading her into the building and up the stairs into the district. He held tightly to her as he dragged her upstairs to the bullpen, the baffled look on her face growing the deeper into the district they went. Finally, he pulled her past the desks, through the dark hallway, and into the observation room. He turned on the low light and shut the door, moving to lean up against the glass as he eyed her perplexed and annoyed face across from him. He took a deep breath.

“This is not at all where I imagined we’d end up tonight,” he admitted, a slight smile on his face.

“Then why are we here?” She mocked, now equal parts annoyed and curious by his actions.

“You know to anyone else in the district, this is just a lowly observation room. A horribly lit, tiny little room they probably don’t even think twice about. But to me? To me this room…it’s special,” he said, taking a beat as his eyes circled the room before finding their way back to her.

“Three years ago we stood in this room as completely different people. You were with someone else, I was just beginning to come out of a bad place, and everything was just… different. But you said something to me that day that changed my life forever. I was in here beating myself up over a case, one that you backed me up with when I gave you no reason to, and you told me you trusted me from the day you met me. Same way you did tonight. You said that if you were to follow someone blind, you’d follow me. Well, that was the moment I realized I was in love with you, and every day since then, I’ve loved you Hailey Upton,” he said, tears filling his eyes as he smiled through his words. “Every moment with you since then, to the moment we kissed in that bar, to now, you have filled my heart in ways I never knew could be filled. A few months ago when you and Kim were working that UC case in that bar, there was a brief period of time when I thought I had lost you. That night, I decided I didn’t want to feel that way again. I decided I wanted to be with you forever. We’re better together, and the same way that you told me you’d follow me, I’m going to follow you… for the rest of my life,” he said, pulling the ring from his pocket and dropping to his knee.

“Hailey Anne Upton, marry me,” he breathed out. It wasn’t a question, it wasn’t a command, it was a heartfelt plea that felt so natural falling from his lips. He watched as tears welled up in her eyes and a smile grew across her face. She stepped forward, cupping the sides of his face in her hands before nodding.

“I’ll marry you, Jay Halstead,” she affirmed as tears spilled out from her eyes. She kissed him hungrily, following his lips as they pulled back and tugged at hers. He stood, grabbing her up in his arms without breaking away, gently lifting her feet from the floor. Eventually, they pulled apart and she took in the sight of the ring for the first time. It was so perfect, and though she wasn’t much of a jewelry girl, she loved everything about it. Jay took it out of the box and slipped it onto her finger before wrapping her in his arms and twirling her around.

“Is this why you were working overtime so much?” she questioned, her glossy eyes continuing to spill out tears as he planted her back on her feet. He nodded.

“So you’re not actually doing modifications to your truck?” she questioned with a laugh, still trying to catch up to reality.

“No,” he laughed. “And this morning I never intended to go to the store. I was picking this up at the jeweler,” he laughed, playing with her hand that rested in his as he spoke.

“I’m sorry for lying. I never meant to hurt you, can you forgive me?” He questioned. She looked down at the ring on her finger and then back up at him.

“I guess,” she teased sarcastically, with a sly smile before rising on her tip toes and wrapping her arms tightly around his neck.

As Jay held her in his arms, he knew his brother was right. It was just the time, and he was surprisingly glad he didn’t have to wait until their anniversary. All of that overthinking would have never led to a moment more perfect than that one. Taking her back to that place he realized his love for her, a place that was so uniquely them wasn’t anything he could have planned without the spontaneity of that night. The ring was on her finger, and they were going to be each other’s forever, nothing could have been more perfect than that.

#upstead #jay x hailey #hailey x jay #jay halstead #hailey upton #chicago pd #upstead fic #justmypartner fics #collection of Em’s fics

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flames-bring-a-ton-of-ash · 3 years

Text

Irresistible Danger - Part 61

Synopsis: After being caught outside the compound on your own, Negan decides to punish you in the best way possible ;)

Words: 2,591

Warnings: nsfw, smut, swearing

ID Masterlist can be found HERE

Masterlist of all my fics can be found HERE

Taking Care of Business

You were in shock and at a loss for words, while Amber’s impatient expression as she stared you down meant that she obviously expected you to say something. When it became apparent that you weren’t going to kickstart this lovely conversation, she gave an exasperated sigh and rolled her eyes before breaking the silence with a haughty voice that instantly grated on your nerves.

“Well, are you going to let me in, or what?”

Your subconscious gave a resounding scream of ‘fuck off!’ and hissed at Amber, while your brain warned to proceed with caution. The last thing you wanted right now was a fight, but it wasn’t clear which path led to a worse confrontation: letting her in or telling her to leave. Deciding to attempt civility, you clamped down the words ‘I’d really rather not’ that were on the tip of your tongue, and instead gave a small nod and stood back from the doorway to let her in. The sickly sweet smell of flowers hit when she passed by, and you had the incredibly random thought of where the fuck does she get perfume in an apocalypse?

Ignoring the unimportant question, you watched as she glanced around your room, eyes flickering over the small bed, the wooden chair piled with clothes, and then the stack of old rickety crates holding your belongings. Her face scrunched up in utter disdain of the meager surroundings, solidifying what Ben had once said about her coming from a privileged background before the apocalypse. Her room upstairs probably had all kinds of fancy furniture and clothes. You wanted to feel annoyed, even a bit ashamed, but then remembered whose bed you were now spending the night in and immediately lost all sense of self-consciousness. At the end of the day, it didn’t matter what material possessions she might own, because you had Negan and she didn’t. No matter how this conversation went, that fact wasn’t going to change, and nothing she said was going to ruin your newfound happiness. You were still nervous and feeling a bit cagey being in the same room as the woman who was far from your biggest fan, but the security of knowing where you and Negan stood with one another helped you to keep calm and project an air of indifference.

However, you still didn’t want to play this too arrogantly, and decided not to close the door the entire way, pushing it so that there was still a centimeter of space keeping it unlatched. The crack was small enough for her to not have noticed, and gave you that extra padding of reassurance. You didn’t trust her one bit, and wanted an easier exit, if necessary, or a way to hopefully be heard if you yelled for help. Not that you were too worried about a physical confrontation; you looked up and down her petite, small frame and thought, you can take her if you have to. The subconscious gave an aggressive yell of agreement and stared Amber down with laser-like focus.

Not wanting to make any assumptions, you decided to stand there silently and wait her out. It didn’t take long, as she abruptly turned to you with a sneer and said, “I bet you’re feeling mighty proud of yourself right about now.”

Well then, guess we’re going with no pretense or attempt at subtlety. Raising your brows in surprise, you honestly replied, “I’m not sure I know what you mean.” You were certain this had to do with Negan, but weren’t sure if it was in regards to the last few weeks, if she had heard about the scene in the cafeteria, or, perhaps, it was something else entirely.

She narrowed her eyes at you and practically hissed, “Don’t play stupid with me. I know that you’re the one who convinced him to throw us all out.”

You couldn’t hide the look of utter surprise at her words. Had Negan said something to the wives today? But when?! You had seen him off on the run to the outpost this morning, and there had only been perhaps a 20 minute space of time from when his men had sat down for dinner and he himself had entered the cafeteria. Had he spent that small chunk of time talking to his wives?

Apparently so, as Amber confirmed a few seconds later.

“I can’t believe he would just march in there and tell us, tell me, that we’re not needed anymore.” She scoffed, as if the idea was laughable. “And I bet it was your idea that we lose our rooms too, right? You couldn’t even let us stay where we were, let us be on the same floor as him. No, you somehow convinced him to kick us out, and tell us we’re to ‘reintegrate into the community’. What the fuck!”

She had used her fingers in air quotes around the reintegrate part, which would’ve been a bit humorous if not for her screeched curse at the end. Your emotions were all jumbled, since part of you wanted to fist pump with joy that Negan had decided to officially move out his wives and make them a part of the community, while another part of you knew that to let your happiness show would only cause Amber to escalate. And while you didn’t feel too bad for her, especially considering the way she’d treated other women like Maria and Trixie, you could still relate on a human level to the shitty feeling of being unwanted. It was that little crumb of empathy that you tried to lead with, despite the subconscious begging you to just bypass all that and use a fist instead.

“I honestly wasn't aware that he did that,” you said, hoping she could hear the sincerity in your voice. “I understand that it’s gotta be frustrating to-”

“Don’t try to feed me bullshit by saying you understand!” she interrupted, eyes blazing with anger. “You think that just because you waltzed in there with your little food trays and spread your legs for him whenever he wants that it makes you better than us. You could’ve played by the rules and become a wife like the rest of us, but nooo. You must think you’re really fucking special, to screw us all over and wreck the entire system! News flash bitch, you’ll never be enough to satisfy him, and he’ll get bored with you soon enough. Then we’ll see how much you ‘understand’ when the tables turn and he asks us to come back while you’re the one tossed to the side! Because that’s what will happen in time, and it’ll make him look weak and indecisive to the entire community. I hope you’re prepared for that, for his potential downfall to be all. Your. Fault!”

Well so much for going the empathetic route, you thought as a spark of anger burned in your gut. She stood there, breathing heavily from her outburst and wearing a cruel smirk as she waited to see what effect her words would have on you. Said effect was that both your subconscious and brain were now wielding swords, ready to go to battle and take her out.

Any desire to try and make peace flew out the window, as you saw through her act and straight to exactly what she was trying to accomplish by confronting you. How dare she take her own hurt and insecurities and try to throw them back on you. And what made you extra mad was how calculated they were to cause injury. She had spit the words with pure venom, designed to seep into your veins and poison all confidence that what you had with Negan was real.

If she had said this to you even two days ago, it might’ve actually worked, might’ve combined with that padlocked box of questions and been the tipping point to send you over the edge into fully believing every word. There had also been the ball of self-doubt, which until the other night had been constantly following you around and whispering that Negan would never give up a group of women who were always at his beck and call for someone as independent and outspoken as you. That he couldn’t possibly change his rules so completely for you. That he couldn’t possibly love you.

But this wasn’t two days ago, and you knew better now.

Spine stiffening, you stared Amber down and said in a cool yet stern voice, “It’s obvious that nothing I say will make you happy, unless it’s that I leave Negan alone and let you have him.” You saw her eyes spark in anticipation at the words, as if she expected you to do just that. “But that’s not going to happen.”

Her fists clenched at her sides, and she opened her mouth, probably to spout more vitriol. But you weren’t having it. In fact, she wasn’t even worth the effort of fighting, and refusing to spend another second entertaining her bullshit would be a more satisfying win than arguing back and forth.

“I think it’s time for you to leave.”

“Why you-”

“Leave, Amber. Before this escalates and ends in a public and unattractive way. Unless you want others to see you escorted out of the Sanctuary.”

You were possibly talking out your ass with that last bit, since you didn’t have the authority to ban anyone from the compound. However, she didn’t need to know that, and you could tell that the threat worked when her mouth clamped shut, eyes blazing with hatred as she marched towards you. For a moment, you had the fear that she was going to start a physical altercation. Instead, she angrily stomped past, a hair’s breadth away from knocking into you as the pungent smell of fake flowers trailed after her.

“This isn’t over, bitch.”

The words were said as she grabbed the knob and threw back the door dramatically. It flew open and slammed into the wall, swinging mere inches from your face. It would’ve been an impressive exit, except that she had barely set foot out into the hall when every muscle in her body went taut as a bowstring, and her face drained of all color as she looked at something up and to the left.

Taking a step forward to glance out the doorway, your eyes widened in shock at the sight of Negan standing right outside. You weren’t sure how long he had been there, but seeing as how the door had been unlatched and opened a crack the entire time, he had to have at least heard the end of your conversation.

Her mouth opened but no words came out, and you knew that she was frantically trying to come up with a way to twist the situation. If given enough time, she’d make herself look squeaky clean and try to manipulate things so that it would appear as if the confrontation was somehow your fault. Rather than give her time to come up with a bullshit excuse, Negan spoke first, his tone low and deadly serious.

“Don’t say a fucking word. Nothing’s changed from what I told you earlier, and I don’t want any more fucking feedback about it. You and I are fucking done, and if you can’t handle that, then you’ll be escorted the fuck out first thing tomorrow morning, just like she fucking said.”

You felt a spark of satisfaction at his agreement with your threat to make her leave, at the way he stood in solidarity with you. Amber deflated slightly at his words, but she still glanced back at you over her shoulder, eyes shooting daggers. Unable to help one moment of pure pettiness, you looked her square in the eye and got the last word.

“I’d say this is fucking over.”

She knew she’d been beaten, you could see it written all over her face. But Amber was prideful, and she’d not crumple in front of an audience. Instead, she held her head high and walked quickly past Negan without a second glance. The two of you watched her march down the hall and disappear into the stairwell, and you had a feeling that, despite her brave face, she was going to find somewhere private to hide and lick her emotional wounds.

Negan turned to you, the anger slipping from his expression as he scanned up and down your body, as if to make sure that there was no physical injury. Thankfully, all wounds had been emotionally inflicted and they were nothing more than shallow cuts, rather than the deep stabs Amber had been hoping for.

“How long have you been standing there?”

His lips curled up into a pleased smirk, as he replied, “Long enough to know that you had the situation fucking handled, and didn’t need my help.”

You huffed out a tiny laugh at that, pleased to know that while he had been listening, he hadn’t just charged in and taken over. He’d been willing to stay back and let you deal with the conflict on your own...had trusted your ability to take care of it.

You started to exit the room and close the door, but halted when he said, “Why don’t you pack a bag first.”

“What?” you blinked rapidly at him in confusion.

He shrugged casually, as if to try and offset the seriousness of his words. “Since you’re spending nights with me, it only makes fucking sense to move some of your stuff up to my room. Maybe then you won’t keep stealing my fuckin’ toothbrushes and clothes. Maybe if you ask nicely enough, I’ll even clear out a drawer or two.”

It took a few seconds to process that Negan had just done the apocalypse version of asking you to start moving in with him. Your subconscious and brain had linked arms and were twirling in a circle while tossing confetti into the air, but you tried to act as cool and casual as Negan had about it, nodding and turning back into your room. It wasn’t until you were sure he couldn’t see your face that you allowed a huge grin and silent scream of excitement.

Grabbing the brown sack, you threw in half your t-shirts (aka the ones that were currently clean) and the navy blue gym shorts. A slight blush tinted your cheeks as you tried to quickly and discreetly throw in a few pairs of underwear and socks, though you knew he was standing in the doorway and watching your every move. You also grabbed the toothbrush and toothpaste, but left the shower items. Negan had plenty of those to share, and you weren't willingly giving up the luxury of his fluffy towels and fancy soaps. You topped off the bag with some extra hair ties, a comb, and the copy of Harry Potter. It wasn’t everything, but it put enough of a dent in your belongings that you wouldn’t need to stop back here every evening after dinner, and could instead go straight to his rooms.

Walking towards him, you went to sling the bag strap up over your arm, but he held out his hand, palm up in offering. You gave a joking eye roll, but passed over the bag so that he could sling it up over his own broad shoulder. Instinctively reaching for his hand, you laced your fingers with his and gave a squeeze of thanks, as the two of you started off down the hall and upstairs to his room.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

#negan #negan x reader #ash writes #negan fanfiction #irresistible danger #negan fanfics #twd #the walking dead #negan's thirst squad #negan slow burn #negan x you #negan x oc #slow burn #twd negan #fanfics #fanfic #fanfiction

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watery-lane · 3 years

Text

Words into Smoke

The Night You Cared Sequel.

Pairing: Modern!Ivar Lothbrok x Reader

Summary: As a part of his therapy, Ivar writes letters to unwind and keep track of his mental health progress. He writes to his mom, he misses her. He writes to Sigurd, sometimes he regrets his departure. One night, he writes about her.

Warnings: Angst

Words: 3864

A/N: (3/5/20) I had this idea in my head that I simply could not let go.

(10/4/21) P.S: Can’t promise I’m back, but I’m definitely turning to writing as a way of winding down. I hope you guys are alright.

Part I / Part II / Epilogue

Some nights, while the city sleeps, Ivar stays awake. Like an owl looking for a prey, the Ragnarsson remains seated upright at the edge of his bed, his now heavily tattooed chest exposed to the world through the panoramic window, heaving. Beating.

Some nights were amazing. He got his drivers license, and Freydis got him an adapted Bentley as a gift. He would spend the nights driving by himself down the empty streets of Kattegat, not worrying about speeding tickets or angry neighbours.

Not so long ago, he learned his wife was finally carrying a child, her round belly reminding him that he had a legacy to keep, now that the Lothbrok dynasty seemed to be more fragmented than ever. After spending thousands of krone on in vitro fertilisation, the universe seemed to work in his favour. Their favour. If the gods were unwilling to bless them two, science would. These were the nights that were made for celebrations, champaign showers and water for the mother to be.

Some nights were alright. Ivar would come back after a long day of meetings and getting his ass kissed, to find Freydis immersed in her little personal projects. He would tell Erik to pick up some takeaway while he washed away the power and wrapped himself in mundane clothes. He would eat in silence, elbows propped on the counter and eyes on the horizon, watching the sun kiss the skyscrapers goodbye as he mindlessly put food in his mouth. Then he would take his new baby for a ride, to the bar he now owned with his brother Hvitserk.

Ivar would go there, check the inventory and the register, ask the employees how everything was going and what could he do for them. Sometimes he would also find Hvitserk at the bar, practicing the cocktail skills he had been mastering since he took over your share of the bar. Ivar would simply walk past, not entirely avoiding making contact with his sibling but prefering to keep a healthy distance from the person that substituted you. He started visiting the local more often after you left, feeling the responsibility to continue what you started. He found peace in the simplicity of managing a bar: at the office, he was a tyrannic boss, voice always booming through the walls, keeping both employees and investors in check. At the bar, he was just the young lovestruck Ivar he once was. He understood then, why you wished to escape from it all. You are just a memory now, but sometimes he still feels you around, checking on the girls, checking on him.

Some nights were... Painful. Therapy had a big presence in his life. He no longer needed a cane thanks to nurse Hansen, his physical therapist. But on some days, the stress and the weather would simply take a toll on his legs, forcing him to carry around that metal stick that reminded him that he was, in fact, human.

Before you left, Freydis figured out a question that would calm Ivar down and make him focus: “What would Dr. Nielsen tell you to do?”. That was how she got him to control himself and open up the last time he was onstage, the night she met you. They were just engaged back then. Oh, how quick did time pass. Ivar no longer organised events like that. He was too consumed by his two jobs. There were nights where Freydis would be on business trips, or out hanging out with friends until the next morning, nights where absences were felt more than presences. But he was coping now. Dr. Nielsen helped the youngest Lothbrok greatly since his great breakdown.

Ivar had thought he physically felt his heart break the night he got down the stage to find you, only to figure out you were gone after most of the guests had left the hotel ballroom. He felt compelled to call you dozens of times to ask for an explanation. After his calls went unanswered, he decided to drive around town in search of you, not knowing where to start, not knowing where to ask, anger poisoning his brain and taking over his actions. That night he stayed at Loki’s after barging in to see if you were hiding there like “the coward you were”. He hated the fact that you could make him feel that weak. It felt like he was putty and Freydis was fire, hardening him the more he was exposed to her. You were water, turning him into a pliable being, at mercy of your actions.

For five days in a row, he found himself staying at his office until late at night, observing his office telephone with attention and indecision, silently praying for you to pick up the phone, practicing the rage filled words he was about to rain down on you the moment you uttered a response. He prayed with ill intentions, but he prayed nonetheless. It was his last resort.

The earth seemed to crack open and swallow him whole the moment he gathered all his courage and dialed your number, only to hear an automated voice telling him that the number no longer existed. He sat there, phone on his hand as a white noise took over the voice message, thinking about the different possibilities that could have happened for you to cancel your line. Maybe, he thought. Maybe I really asked for too much this time.

“Fuck no,” Ivar reflected out loud as he tossed his phone away, “In no fucking way this is my fault.”

“Ivar?” A distant voice reverberated through the glass corridors. It sounded familiar. The youngest Ragnarsson frowned, weirded out by the fact that one of his brothers was still in the office this late.

It wasn’t just one of his brothers, but the three of them.

“Freydis called us asking where you were. You’ve been out late at night for many days in a row, she literally just confronted each one of us asking whether you were having an affair.” Hvitserk said, arms crossed as he leaned on the door frame. “That woman nearly dragged each one of us out to look for you.” Ivar pursed his lips, outraged by such accusations from his then fiancée.

“Well, tell her I’d never do such thing.” He answered, swatting his hand in annoyance. “I am surprised she came to that conclusion, knowing how busy I always am as the bloody CEO!” He exclaimed, letting the following silence fill the room as he flashed a disdainful look towards his brothers.

“Why are you here, brother?” Ubbe finally dared to ask, observing his youngest sibling sway in his chair from side to side.

Ivar looked up for a brief moment, like a puppy who lost his favourite toy, and decided to tell them the whole story. That the had the hunch you were back from a strange event where someone knocked on his penthouse door. To that, Ubbe awkwardly shifted in his place, still listening intently. Ivar explained that he sent you an invite to his inaguration gala and how he asked you to stay for his speech so you could have a dance afterwards, unaware of the utterly personal turn his speech would take just because an old man decided to drink a bit more than usual that night. How he waited for you, called you and looked for you tirelessly, frustration filling his voice as he talked about how you had been avoiding him for a week now, changing your phone number in the process.

“If she thinks she can avoid me by changing numbers she’s dead wrong. We’re business partners, for fucks sake!” He complained, registering the situation as a burden. “I’ll find her new phone sooner or later.”

Unbeknownst Ivar, tension had been gradually building up as he spoke, his three brothers standing still in their places, not knowing how to break the news. Sure they knew this day would come, but none of the three expected to be trapped with the ticking bomb. It was way too soon. Too recent.

Hell, it was about you. It was most likely no amount of time would soften the blow.

Ubbe took a step forward, leaning on the hardwood desk. With a resigned tone, he mumbled:

“She’s gone, Ivar.” He swallowed. “(Y/n) left Kattegat.”

Already motionless before, Ivar remained still. He darted his eyes to look at his brother, confusion and fear brewing within him, fueling a fire he thought it was extinguished the day he made Sigurd leave. With trembling lips but a determined voice, he asked how did he know. How did Ubbe Ragnarsson, the brother who would stab his youngest sibling in the back at the slightest opportunity, know the whereabouts of his woman, while he sat there completely lost, disoriented.

With an attempt of a soothing voice, Ubbe confessed that months ago he offered you a job position to work on a humanitarian project he had running in Haiti. Aslaug had stated in her will that she wished to expand the non-profit organisation she created to other countries and Ubbe decided to make his deceased mother’s wish come true. He told Ivar that while you rejected the offer at first, you ended up accepting it the night of his gala. That you made him promise to make the process fast and discreet, and that, while you insisted on paying for the plane tickets, Lothbrok Inc. paid for your travel expenses and necessities. You left three days ago, unnanounced, with only Ubbe at the airport to bid you farewell.

Hvitserk, who remained silent all this time, let him know that you were no longer the owner of the bar you opened together. At that, Ivar panicked, his eyes wide open as he snapped his head towards his older brother. You simply signed a transfer contract, with Ubbe as the witness and five krone as the contingency, stating that you were returning the property to Lothbrok Inc., thus paying your debt to the family and releasing yourself from any ties to Ivar. He tried to soften the blow, letting him know that he didn’t know you gave him your share because you were leaving. He thought it was a rash decision that stemmed from seeing Ivar with a fiancée, that you’d come back and take back the business when you were ready. He promised he’d take care of the bar as well as you took care of it, that nothing would change under his management.

Ivar listened intently, motionless. His breathing was deep, yet steady. He never moved a muscle voluntarily, but his nostrils flared with every breath and his hand, hidden under the desk, shook incontrollably as he processed their words. His piercing gaze was focused on the oldest Aslaugsson, who was now relaxing and straightening his back as he regained his composure.

It felt like every action happened in slow motion, yet the blow came fast. In mere seconds, Ivar had propped himself forward from the chair, one of his hands grabbing the jacket Ubbe was wearing while the other, contracted in a fist, made contact with his right cheek. That is when Bjorn, who had been silent during the whole exchange, stepped in, grabbing the torso of his youngest brother as he struggled to keep himself standing, making sure he didn’t hurt himself.

Sometimes, Ivar still hears his own screams.

“YOU TOOK HER FROM ME!” Ivar accused, eyes absent of tears but voice cracking at the end of the sentence. “SHEWAS GOING TO STAY,” He roared, fists swinging towards his brother’s face. “AND YOU FUCKING TOOK HER FROM ME!”

He lost it that night. The screams he released came from the depths of his sorrow, his eyes only registering red while all his nerves could only feel the desperation taking over his soul. Ivar kept trying to reach Ubbe, unaware of how he repeatedly banged his legs against the desk as Bjorn tried to pin him down.

But what started as a justified outburst gradually led to nonsensical, rage-filled accusations.

“You wanted to fuck her, didn’t you? You wanted her and you couldn’t stand the fact that she chose ME!” Ivar recriminated, grabbing a sharp glass ornament and throwing it to his brother. Ubbe pursed his lips, dodging the improvised weapon. “You did this to get back at me, hmm? YOU WANT ALL I HAVE, DON’T YOU?” He seethed, eyes and mouth wide open, exposing his teeth like a menacing predator as he let out a guttural laugh.

Bjorn was having a difficult time restraining him. Years relying on his upper body strength gave Ivar the advantage of resilience amongst his biggest sibling, while Bjorn struggled to keep him in place. Ivar managed to grab the second glass ornament, throwing it as he shrieked.

“DON’T YOU KNOW WHO I AM?” his voice boomed in the room, palm pounding his chest as his free hand signaled the whole place. “YOU CAN’T TAKE THIS AWAY FROM ME, I AM IVAR LOTHBROK! YOU CAN’T TAKE THIS AWAY FROM ME!” Ivar kept shouting, cursing as he spat towards Ubbe.

Hvitserk stepped forward, having seen enough, ready to take on his little brother. To his surprise, Ubbe halted him, his arm creating a barrier between Hvitserk and Ivar as he observed with intent and horror etched on his face.

That night, Ivar lost the little progress he made. He broke his femur, dignity left behind as an ambulance carried him to the emergency room.

As if that wasn’t enough, he lost another family member to Lagertha that night.

With a reedy voice as he laid down in the hospital bed, he asked Ubbe one thing:

“Bring her back.” He whispered, his eyes stuck in the ceiling, pretty certain that if he laid his eyes on his brother, he would kill him. “She is working for Lothbrok Inc. now. Bring her back.” His request was met with silence. “That’s an order.” He swallowed, nostrils flaring with each ticking second.

“I’m sorry, Ivar.” Ubbe mumbled. “The Sigurðdóttir Trust is out of your reach.” He reminded him, reopening a wound that Ivar closed not so long ago. “That’s what mother wished.” Ivar snapped his head at the mention of his beloved mother. The brim of his eyes were red like his sclera, a menacing gaze stabbing his brother as Ivar grabbed his wrist.

“You have three days to gather your stuff and leave Lothbrok Inc.” Ivar seethed as he moved his face closer to his brother. “If you’re not gone after that, I will make sure you’ll leave the premises crawling like I crawled as a child.” Ivar swore, releasing his wrist as he let his head drop back to the sterile pillow.

Up to this day, Ivar still saw Ubbe’s action as a huge betrayal. He knew his older brother would return to his life as the new addition of Lagertha’s legal team, Bjorn granted his little brother this little backup plan.

Tonight, his thoughts weighted a little heavier. His eyes scanned the city before focusing on his bedroom, where he finds the clothes he wore today discarded on the leather chair. Behind him, his wife slept peacefully, her baby bumb protuding more and more each passing day. His legs were alright, but with the absence of physical pain he could sense his yearning looming over his head.

Ivar sighs and stands up silently, his bare feet and metallic support dragging on the tiles as he moved to his home office.

Dr. Nielsen taught him the importance of adapted emotional releases. She actively discouraged Ivar from indulging in his impulses and told him to write them down instead. For business meetings, Ivar was told to count until 10, 20 or even 30 if he was encountered with bad news. When it came to personal affairs, Dr. Nielsen told him to write letters addressed to the pertinent subject. Ivar could write them and discard them, write them and take them to therapy or he could write them and send them to the addressee.

It wasn’t the most effective exercise, but it kept his flame at bay. He needed to learn to do that, now that he knew he had a little one coming soon.

Sometimes he wrote to his mother, asking her questions about ruling an empire he wished he had the answer to. Those he kept, as a tool to reflect later on when his ambition peaked. The more emotional ones he’d take to Dr. Nielsen, a proof of his progress on his journey to... normalcy. The ones he wrote to Sigurd, those he threw away. In those pages filled with guilt and rage, he found himself cornered in a bleak past that seemed to refuse to let him go.

Tonight, he thought about you.

It wasn’t like you weren’t a constant presence in his mind, like an annoying tenant in his brain that refused to leave or pay rent. Ivar just chose to remember the best parts of you, those who could be found at the bar you owned, or on his bed when Freydis left him for the night. If he kept you alive that way, he would also keep alive that part of him he thought he lost. You were inevitable, like the pain after a blow or the kiss after a reencounter.

He wishes he could blame you. For leaving, for stepping outside the gala without waiting for your dance. For silently giving away your shares to Hvitserk, who the only thing he knew about bars was how to empty the alcohol pantry. But there is a part of him that cannot physically repulse you.

Ivar sits down and turns on the desk lamp in front of him. He finds his precious pen and puts a piece of paper on the desk. Before starting, he hesitates.

Dear (Y/n),

He groans, crossing the two words with disdain.

Hello.

“Hello?” Ivar shakes his head, crossing the word again.

Hi, princess.

Ivar cringes. No.

Frustrated, he discards the paper. He had done it before. Why was it so hard to do it all over again now?

Just... Jump right in. Start from the beginning, start from the middle, start from the end if you prefer. He recalls the advice of his therapist. Sometimes, formalities are overrated. It may help when you have nothing to say, but it becomes a burden when you got too much to say. Ivar reflected.

And so he did.

Every night I drive through the streets of Kattegat I find myself looking for you wandering around, looking for me to give you a lift, for the memory of our first reencounters were the ones that helped us find redemption.

It is weird, but I still have the need to find you even though I know you are no longer here. The idea of you lives in my head, that I am sure of. The feel of you, that is what I miss.

I guess part of me feels like I still need to apologise for something that I’ve done.

At the sight of his words written on paper, Ivar blinks. He never consciously thought much more ahead of his negations, his feelings dictating the perspectives he kept imposing to his reality.

He sacrificed so much for you. He tried to change for you. He went to therapy, he learned to walk. Ivar tried to become the right man for you, he really tried.

He wished you were there to see it.

Ivar doesn’t really know what he did wrong. All he knows is...

And now that you’re gone for good,

He shakes his head, crossing the last two words.

all I wish for is to be in the wrong this time.

Ivar huffs in frustration.

I wish I had been selfish, I wish I was the old Ivar. I wish I had begged you to stay, to manage this empire I never chos- by my side.

I know you would have never wanted this.

But I know you would have never said no to us.

Mindlessly, Ivar puts his pen in his mouth, a subconscious tick he developped not-so recently. Passing his hands through his hair, he sighed.

I started to smoke. He confessed. I know you never liked the smell, how it clings to my clothes, my mouth, how it lingered around the house when my brothers decided to have one one in their rooms. Ivar snorts at the memory. Not that you’re here to tell me off.

Freydis has been buying candles, they’re all around the house now. The smell of the cigarettes blends with the essences and I technically get to have fire dispensers in every single room.

“Maybe I’m waiting for you to magically show up and tell me to fuck off.” He whispers.

Suddenly, Ivar shakes his head, as if the physical gesture cleared his mind.

I guess I’ll have to stop soon, I have a baby on the way. He releases an airy laugh as he re-reads what he just wrote. Who would have thought, (Y/n)? A baby. Me. Your Ivar.

The young Ragnarsson lets out a tired sigh, strenghening his grip on the metalling pen as he mindlessly tapped on the crystal desk. With resigned resolution, he decides to write his last lines, telling himself that he is finally starting to accept reality.

I know you’re not going to come back. Not to the place we grew up at, at least.

If you ever do, I just want to let you know, as sappy as it may sound, that my heart will always be open for you, even when my arms are not.

I miss you.

I miss us.

Take care,

Ivar.

Dropping the pen, Ivar stares at his letter. His hands blindly search for an envelope, a frown etched on his face until his fingertips brush against the soft surface of the letter. You don’t know, but he found your new address. He searched around Ubbe’s old files.

With a careful manner, Ivar writes down your address on the envelope.

He stands up, walks to his living room and grabs a jacket as he makes his way to the exit.

All of the sudden he stops right on his tracks, his free hand almost reaching to the door handle. Freydis seemed to have forgotten to put out a lone candle, a tiny fragrance dispenser resting on the entrance drawer.

Ivar may not be aware of a lot of things in life, but one thing he was certain of: smoke traveled faster than mail.

His hand was trembling slightly, but it managed to follow his instructions. With a swift move, Ivar positioned the ephemeral piece of paper on the fire, watching intently how the flames consumed his words and took them to you. Discreetly, he threw the burning letter in the empty bin, the lid cutting short the trail of smoke escaping from the container.

He makes sure ashes are all what it remains from his indecent confession and makes his way back to the bedroom. Slowly but steadily, Ivar returns to bed, nesting himself between the sheets before holding his beloved wife in his embrace.

Tonight, he was human. Tomorrow, he’ll have to be a God.

The end.

Taglist:

Note: This is the old taglist I have noted from my past Ivar ficts. Please let me know if you want to be removed or added by sending an ask here.

@aesstheticallypleasing @captstefanbrandt @unicornbaby741 @fuckthatfeeling @huffelpuffers @yannii04 @collecting-stories @timber3 @darkwolfpeanutskeleton @vampsclassiffied @lenafarn @yourpurplequeen@youbloodymadgenius @lettersofwrittencollective

#ivar x reader #ivar the boneless x reader #ivar lothbrok x reader #ivar ragnarsson x reader #ivar/reader #ivar the boneless/reader #ivar ragnarsson/reader #ivar imagine #ivar the boneless imagine #ivar lothbrok imagine #ivar lothbrok/reader #Ivar One shot #ivar the boneless one shot #ivar lothbrok one shot #ivar ragnarsson one shot #ivar ragnarsson imagine

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wonkyyslush · 3 years

Note

SHIP YOUR MUTUALLSSSS I WANT TO SEE THE DRAMA

*evil laughter* instead of paying attention I wrote all of this down during my classes you’re welcome.

I tried to do people you wouldn’t really expect either

And I’m indecisive so some people have two my bad 👩🏾‍🦲

You should also pay me for this I worked hard

I’m never doing this shit again I need a nap omfg 🗿 if you weren’t included in this and you want to be you gotta wait a month for my brain to regenerate sorry besties

@uniquabackyardigans I was stuck between both Aran Ojiro from Haikyuu and Shoto Todoroki from mha so I just picked both.

Todoroki is emotionally unavailable already your type. All jokes aside he would be really soft with you and it’s like a whole different side of him other people don’t really see often. If you were upset about something he probably wouldn’t know how to comfort you (I feel like he’s bad at comforting people in general) but he’d try his best. Also he’s probably touch starved just like you <3 have fun with his conspiracies.

I feel like people think that Aran is mean because of his resting bitch face and also this face -_- he occasionally makes. So when they see how nice he is with you they’re so confused ?? Also remember when you were complaining about your ass in your jeans? He’d say it does make your ass look like a square just to make you mad :) you too also probably think flipping people off is a good date idea 🗿

@king-tobiyolo I ship you with Sakusa Kiyoomi (is that his name?) Now hear me out it would probably be a opposites attract sort of thing. You make shit jokes he’s a germaphobe you’re a menace he’s less of a menace. He hated you at first, you and your bad jokes annoyed him. So when he started catching feelings 👩🏾‍🦲 Theres never a dull moment with you two. You get him to loosen up a little (not a lot but it’s still noticeable).

@lilies-and-rosies I ship you with Megumi Fushiguro. You and Megumi have a interesting dynamic. You’re either done with everyone’s bullshit together or he’s done with your bullshit. You send him the dumbest things (I’m talking about those weird people you find 🧛🏾‍♀️) and he hates to admit it but some of them actually makes him laugh. I feel like he’d be the type to be embarrassed over over the slightest things such as hand holding so you’re gonna crack him out of his shell 🥸. Also you’re a Tsukishima Kinnie? No problem who else would he date he has Yuuji Gojo and Nobara on his ass. LMAO IM SORRY THAT WAS FUNNY TO ME. I also ship you with Hange Zoe but I’m too Lazy to explain further I’ve been at this for hours

@sao-tom3 I ship you with Itadori Yuuji. I don’t know if you’ve watched Jujutsu Kaisen yet but I feel like you and Yuuji would be a cute couple. He’s in love with your cat obviously not more than he’s in love with you but it’s a close call 🤩. He cooks for you (period get yourself a man who can cook). If you have a specific comfort meal you like to eat when you’re sad he’d gladly make it for you and do whatever he can on top of that to cheer you up. He’d also be the type to randomly go “Do you wanna do my make up for me?” Do his makeup bestie 🤬. Have fun with Sukuna bothering you two though. 🦤🦤🦤

@angeldvst-amajiki I ship you with Armin Arlert. I can’t explain myself on this one I just feel like you would be his type (his type being intimidating woman, not saying you’re intimidating but you did say Tamaki would be afraid of you NOT THAT I THINK ITS TRUE THOUGH) um anyways you and Armin would be that couple people didn’t really expect but once they see it they love it. Armin would constantly reassure you that he loves you wether he says it to you straightforwardly or coveys it through his actions. His love language is either quality time or giving out gifts and when I think of Armin giving you sea shells enjoy bestie

@shawtyybae I ship you with Akaashi whatever his last name is. Doesn’t he just look like mega mind? 🥸 But Fr Fr it’ll take a very patient man to deal with your bs. At first I thought that Akaashi would probably go for someone who isn’t a menace (yes I’m saying you’re a menace) because he already has bokuto giving him migraines but you’re an exception I guess? Most of the time he’ll go along with your jokes because why not but other times he’d be like 🧍🏾‍♀️. Akaashi is also a over thinker proven buy bokuto himself 🙄 so I feel like he’d overthink your relationship and then need reassurance that you still like him (I have a ton of Akaashi conspiracy theories but that’s not the point)

@starrjin I ship you with Inumaki and Kita but I don’t feel like writing these anymore so I’m only gonna explain Inumaki 🗿 You and Inumaki in my opinion would be good for each other. He can comfort you without even having to speak somehow and for him he finds your presence comforting. His love language in my opinion is physical touch and acts of service. He can’t speak? He’ll make up for it with his actions.

@melichios I ship you with Eren Jeager. Why you may ask? Because I read your about me and you’re basically into edgy people and who’s edgier than a mass murderer? Also “men with long hair” Last time I checked Eren has some pretty long hair 🌝 He also finds your interest interesting (see what I did there? 🤩) like your biotechnology. Loves hearing you talk about your interest. I mean he’ll fall asleep on you listening to you talk about it but he loves it nonetheless.

@hoodsokka I ship you with Sero and Denki from Mha but I’m only explaining Sero 🗿 You two would be a comedic duo. He wouldn’t even mind the accidental dick jokes in front of his mom (haha get it because you accidentally told a dick joke..in front of..okay) He goes along with whatever impulsive urge you have except having a baby at 17 (haha..get it because..okay) Wether this is a platonic ship or a romantic ship that’s for you to decide.

@aphroditeparadisesstuff (WE SHARE SO MANY OF THE SAME INTERESTS) I ship you with Tsukishima Kei. I read your about me thingy too and it says you’re sarcastic. Who’s more sarcastic then Tsukki? 🤩 You like reading too so library dates yaaaaay. Every now and then he recommends books he’d think you’ll like. He loves hearing about the things you’re passionate about seeing you rant about something like mythology makes him smile. Also “I’m shy” great you two can stay at home together :)

#I FINALLY FINISHED #IM GANGSTA 🥶💯#there’s probably a bunch of spelling errors no way am I going back and double checking #if you don’t like this I’ll cry #survey corps 🪶#Lia’s Letters

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dessarious · 4 years

Text

Misconceptions, Miscommunication, and Misinformation Pt86

Inspired by @ozmav Maribat AU

AO3 Beginning Previous Next

Ladybug sat motionless on top of the Arc de Triomphe. She thought it was somewhere around one in the morning, but she couldn’t be certain. She just hoped Chloe didn’t wake up while she was gone. The last thing she wanted to do was cause more worry but she’d needed some fresh air. Needed time alone to think.

“Bit past your bedtime isn’t it?” As soon as she heard the voice Ladybug was in motion. She dove off the Arc using her Yoyo to swing around and flank the intruder. They were looking over the side where she’d dropped and she had them wrapped up before registering what exactly she was seeing.

“What the hell?” For a moment she thought it was a cosplayer dressed as Chat Noir, then her brain woke up. Getting on top of the Arc itself was no easy feat but they’d also been able to sneak up on her and that wasn’t something just anyone could do. No, the woman in front of her had to be Catwoman. When had this become her life? “Whatever you’re here to steal I suggest you rethink it.”

“I’m not here to steal anything. I just wanted to see what all the fuss was about. Everyone’s talking about the tiny Parisian that brought the Justice Clowns to their knees. I must say I didn’t expect you to be so cute.” The woman had a smirk on her face and her tone was teasing.

“Thank you?” She didn’t even know how to respond to that. “Wait, what do you mean everyone’s talking about me? Who’s everyone?” She could hear a note of panic in her own voice but was pretty sure anyone else would take it for frustration. At least she hoped so.

“Everyone. Hero’s, Villains, those of us who are in more of a limbo territory. It’s not everyday someone hands the man of steel his ass and walks away completely unscathed. It’s impressive.” She absolutely did not need this. Ladybug just let out a heartfelt groan as she freed Catwoman from her Yoyo. The last thing Paris needed was random villains showing up to gawk at her or test her abilities. She was going to have to talk to the others about this.

“Wonderful. Just when I was thinking things might calm down enough to breathe for once. So what do you want then?” Her tone was flat and it took everything in her not to just walk away from this. Just once she wanted to let someone else handle things. But she was Ladybug right now so no matter how much she wanted to scream in frustration or find a hole to crawl into she had to do the right thing. Whatever that was. Catwoman just looked confused.

“Wait… did Robin not tell you? I thought for sure he would as soon as he found out I was coming.” Ladybug could only blink at the woman as her brain refused to process the words or their implication.

“He knew you were coming?” This didn’t make any sense. Surely Damian would have told her about something like this if he actually knew. Before Catwoman could respond she was tackled by another figure in black. So much for getting back before Chloe woke up. In seconds Discorde had Catwoman pinned to the roof by her neck as a growl emitted from her throat.

“You’ve got one minute to explain why I shouldn’t tie you up and toss you off this roof.” Well that was a bit of an overreaction. Ladybug felt guilt swell as she stepped forward to put a calming hand on her partner's shoulder.

“It’s okay, we were just talking.” She kept her tone calm and soothing but it didn’t seem to help at all. “Discorde, please just let go, I’m too tired to explain or fight about this right now.” That got her attention and she let go of Catwoman as if burned.

“I’m sorry-” Ladybug shook her head and motioned to Catwoman to cut off her girlfriend’s apology. It wasn’t necessary for one, but it really wasn’t a conversation to have in front of one of Gotham’s rogues.

“I thought the Bats were just screwing with me when they said that one of Paris’s heroes was cat themed.” Discorde actually hissed at her but she just grinned back. “Oh I definitely like you.” Ladybug could only share a confused look with Discorde before letting out a sigh.

“Can you please explain what you meant about Robin?” The woman hesitated before shrugging to herself.

“Just that I thought he’d start bitching and moaning as soon as he heard I’d be joining his father in Paris. He’s not exactly my biggest fan and I figured he’d warn you about me as quickly as possible.” She really needed sleep. None of this made sense. Luckily Discorde seemed to be able to put together the clues her brain was too overwhelmed to process.

“You’re Selina?” Oh… Oh! That made sense, well sort of. Catwoman nodded and Discorde began cursing in a number of languages before slipping into planning a very detailed torture for Damian.

“I really like you.” Discorde just frowned at the woman but Ladybug could see a hit of pleasure at the praise. Maybe this wouldn’t be a bad thing.

“Suddenly I understand why Robin has such an issue with you.” She really hadn’t meant to say that out loud and cringed as Catwoman shot a glare at her.

“Because I’m a villain?” She spat the last word with contempt but Ladybug didn’t have the energy to process what that meant.

“No. Because he prefers to see the world around him in terms of black and white but you’re nothing but a gray area. Both in this persona with the way you bounce back and forth between what most people think of as good and bad, and your less than stable relationship with his father. You’re unpredictable, neither one thing nor the other, and he doesn’t like the uncertainty of it all.” Both Catwoman and Discorde were staring at her like she’d grown another head and she really didn’t know why.

AO3 Beginning Previous Next

Ko-Fi

Tag List

@noirdots @valeks-princess @chocolatecatstheron @krispydefendorpolice @bee-wrecker @kanamexzeroyaoifangirl @northernbluetongue @paradoxal-occurance @scrumptiouslyelegantchaosqueen @sonif50 @thequestionablyhuman @persephonebutkore @elspethshadow @geekydragonyt @mmwolf1605 @da-tasuky @mjisntme @bluerosette23 @anjuschiffer @littleredrobinhoodlum @tazanna-blythe @resignedcatservant @schrodingers25 @seraphichana @persephonescat @punstoppablechatnoir @magicalfirebird @crazylittlemunchkin @corabeth11 @cyborgcandy @casual-darkness @shamefullove @miraculous-simmer7 @tamoni112 @cat181818meow @littleblue5mcdork @allthebooksandcrannies @enchanted-nerd @disneyfoxuniverse @fallinginthe-void @mandy984 @goggles-mcgee @fontegagrilledcheese @dorkus-minimus @theatreandcomicfreak @zerotosiki @ayuchan07 @mindfulmagics @urbanpineapplefarmer @winter-gardenflower @mooshoon @my-name-is-michell @melicmusicmagic @7-sage-7 @hypnosharkrebeldreamer @alicesangelofmusic @caffeinetheory @nataladriana9 @multplelifes @wanderingreader1019 @worlds-tiniest-spook-pastry @mvaree @redscarlet95 @storyteller-d @howabouticallyou @ginamarie1512 @kurogaya913 @tbehartoo @maddrag @two-faced-biatch @senyahgirl @unabashedlyswimmingtimemachine @iloontjeboontje @kakashixobito @welcometopradasa @amirahevens @amlesi @miraculousbelladonna @virgil-is-a-cutie @18-fandoms-unite-08 @cupcakeandkisses @angelofmusickaterinapetrova @book-r-the-best @dur55 @moonlightstar64 @fertileleaf @thequeenofpotatoeunicornss @thecaptainthunder @danielslilangel @novicevoice @nyaabinch @interobanginyourmom @welcometopradasa @charlietheepic7 @im-here-for-the-content @maya-custodios-dionach @throneoffirebreathingbitchqueen @starwindmaden @tired-butterfly @rogueptoridactyl @emeraldpuffguide @suzen23smith @yuulxd @animegirlweeb @alovelyocean @kris-pines04 @semaalcocer-blog @cadencehood @jardimazul-blog @shethecat @silent-storms-posts @simplysslytherin @tog84 @thesunanditsangel @dast218 @tall-and-angry @the-alice-of-hearts @captainmac6 @theyellowfeverexperience @chrismarium @alessialeone6997 @heaven428 @tinyterror333 @smolplantmum @lilyellowink @naoryllis @katiegardneriscoolerthanyou @magewriter @doodledeerest @athena452 @peachedpocky @tired-butterfly @risingmoonyue @lunammoon @mylife-demonstrates-murphys-law @bobothyross @silvergold-swirl @loysydark @heaven428 @peachedpocky @hauntedwintersweets @awesome-starfish-and-tacos @silvergold-swirl @rosesgonerogue @castielsofficialtoothbrush @myazael @aestheticnpoetic @creator-josie @sturchling @snowstar1016 @myblacknightworld @kittycatwowmeow @midnightkaito @chylou34 @hufflejournals @indecisive-mess-named-me @uwuteamleader @sassakitty @jessigurl-design @demigodgirl20031 @freshbark @soup-served-chilling @elmokingkong @unknownvsworld @thatonegaybitchfromschool @tis-i-beanbandit @damianette-is-life @peachesbackup @nobodyw8s4evr @the-fusionist @iwantwhirlledpeasandlotsatrees @chocolateherringtacofan

#maribat #marinette dupen chang #Damian Wayne #bffmaridami

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romansrgn · 3 years

Text

ch. 8

"I can't believe we just did that." Braelin shook her head in disbelief.

Dante looked down at his naked girlfriend."You regret what happened?"

"No, of course not. I'm just surprised that this was the place we decided to, you know—"

"Make love?"

Braelin raised a brow, surprised at how intimate it sounded. "Is that what we did?"

Dante thought for a moment, and honestly, he wasn't sure. Don't get him wrong, he slept with his fair share of women and could honestly say what he and Braelin just did felt different than the night of fucking he's grown accustomed to with the previous women he had been with, But at the same time, it felt that it was too soon to call what he and Braelin did "making love." Especially since he knew she had some unresolved feeling for her ex despite the constant declarations to him about wanting to see where they could go.

"I think you and I need to put some clothes on before someone walks in and sees you naked, and I'll have to kill them." he kissed the tip of her nose.

Braelin rolled her eyes and stood up."Right because seeing me naked with a swollen belly is every man's fantasy."

Dante gave her a look, "You're only saying that because you don't see yourself the way I do. I just had you and already want seconds."

Braelin popped her hand on her hip. "Seconds?"

"You're right; Sixths is more like it." He smirked, burying his head in her neck. He loved that she smelled like him.

Braelin kissed him lightly on the lips. "You didn't even take any pictures."

"You underestimate me, baby. I managed to get twenty shots before getting in between those sweet thighs of yours."

Braelin laughed. "Ok, this is not a story I'm going to tell the kids once they're old enough to see the pictures themselves."

Dante snorted, shaking his head. "Sex? Check. Photoshoot? Check. How about dinner at any restaurant of your choosing?"

"Didn't we do this backward?"

Dante shrugged. "We can still have sex afterward."

Braelin lightly shoved him. "Ass."

Roman looked over his shoulder at the hand that was placed there.

"Don't be too disappointed. It's only your wife."

Roman sighed, "Do you want to keep doing this? I asked you to meet me here so we could talk, not argue."

Janelle nodded, "I'm here, and like I said, despite your infidelity twice. I'm still willing to work out our marriage."

Roman remained quiet after hearing that.

Janelle wasn't sure what she was doing. She's never been the type of woman to be ok with her man fucking around on her, and she still wasn't. But like she said before. She and Roman had too much history, and they've been through way too much to throw it all away. "I'm not trying to make this difficult. I want everything to go back to the way things used to be."

"I need to do something I should've done a long time ago and be honest with you. Do I still love you? Yes. Do I love still love, Braelin? Yes, and honestly, even after all these years, I still haven't stopped. What happened between Braelin and I shouldn't have happened, but I don't regret it. But what I do regret is how this is all affecting you, and that's why I think we should get a divorce."

Janelle smiled sadly. "I keep telling myself I owe myself more than what I'm giving right now. I'm trying to hold onto something so good and beautiful at one point because despite where we are now, our love was something to fight for, and I thought you felt the same."

Roman nodded, "I do. I did, and that's my point. I need to figure things out, and it's not fair to you or anyone else if I stay in a marriage that I swore before God that I would be in forever. When in reality, I have never done right by you."

"But You think you're doing right by Braelin? You're not. The three of us have been in this entanglement since college. But like fools, we all participate in it because, for whatever reason, we convinced ourselves that you were the right man for us."

Roman snorted, "You never wanted to work on our marriage. You didn't want me to go back to Braelin."

Janelle shrugged. "Despite what I feel about her and the situation. Neither one of us deserves to be led on by you."

"That's not what I'm doing."

"No, you're playing the field. Rounding the bases to see which girl you want to play with for a little while, but then you'll get bored, and then, of course, history will repeat itself."

Roman chuckled darkly. "Yea, and that never stopped you from spreading your legs for me every chance you got either."

Janelle slapped Roman hard across the face. "I was stupid to think you were worth my effort, let alone the time I've wasted on making this work. I wanted to keep you because I love you, but despite that, I realize I'm not in love with you. I know that now because no woman who could truly love themselves would be willing to be a second choice for a son of a bitch like you."

Roman pointed at his wife. "That's what I always liked about you, Janelle. You never hold back, and I appreciate that, so let me return the favor." He stood up, towering over her wrapping a strand of hair around his finger. "Even though we had our good times. You were never her. You will never be her."

Janelle snorted, removing his hand from her hair. "Right now, you'll never be Dante. You remember him. Braelin's boyfriend. You know the same boyfriend she fucked in the middle of her maternity shoot."

Roman's large hands flexed, and his eye twitched.

"Of course, you didn't know that, so let me shed a little light on the subject. According to my good friend, who happens to be the assistant to the makeup artists who did Braelins makeup. Those two were too busy fucking each other's brains out to notice that the building wasn't empty. But I can't blame her. Dante is fine as—"

Hearing enough, Roman walked off, leaving Janelle alone.

Janelle smiled. She would gladly give Roman his divorce; although she did love him, she no longer wanted his cheating ass. She can admit that to herself, but she will be damn if she allowed Roman to get his happy ending after all the pain he caused her. It was one thing to cheat once but twice and then got the woman he cheated with pregnant. He can get the fuck out of here with that.

But was Roman alone in this? No, of course not. It takes two to create a child, and in Janelle's mind, Braelin was guilty as sin and should also pay for her part in this betrayal. But she wasn't going to play the role of the wicked ex-wife. She was going to show Roman that he can't snap his fingers and get everything he wants. So her plan was simple. Give Braelin the happy ending she always wanted, and naturally, it wasn't going to be with Roman.

Roman ignored questioning stares as he walked past them. He immediately dialed Braelin, "Answer the phone, damn it."

"Hey, Rome, you ok?" Naomi asked, immediately noticing the tension in his frame. "Is Braelin ok?"

Roman glared at her while hanging up the phone. "Where's your cousin?"

Naomi raised a brow at his tone, "Probably busy since she didn't answer your call, and with the way your attitude is right now, I'm glad she didn't."

Roman snorted, "Right, because I'm the big bad wolf."

"More like an indecisive fuck boy with good intentions. You don't want to hurt Brae, but somehow you always do. You two are friends who settled on co-parenting, but somehow that's not enough for you. You need to control every aspect of her life because you want to be her life."

"That's unfair and not true. I want what's best for her, even if it's not me. You know that."

"I know that you want to believe that, but your actions speak louder than those pretty little words. You have gone above and beyond to insert yourself into things that don't concern you. You two are not together anymore. Move on."

Roman knew Naomi was right, and despite his actions, he wanted Braelin to be happy, and with Dante, she was delighted. But he couldn't help but covet what he knew was his "Let me ask you something. If you and Jimmy broke up and after everything you two have been through together, would you accept him being happy with someone else? You would find it easy to sit back and watch someone else take your spot. Just like that."

Naomi shook her head. "You know Janelle is actually in this predicament, and I bet to you she seems like a real bitch for being hurt that you want to start over with the mother of your children. But the truth of the matter is you two are the real villains of the story, not her."

"At Least you're honest."

Naomi closed her eyes before turning around to see her cousin standing there. "I didn't mean to--"

"Yes, you did, and you're right. I know I can't take back what I did, and for that, I'm sorry because our actions caused someone else to get hurt in the process, not once but twice. I fucked a married man and got pregnant with his children. It was low down, and as a woman, it was disrespectful as hell. I'm the bad guy, not her."

Janelle clapped her hands, seemingly having heard the entire exchange. "That's the first step to redemption. Accountability, but it doesn't absolve you for what you did."

"It doesn't, and I can't say sorry enough to you, and I know that you can't forgive me--"

"It's not that I can't. I won't forgive you, Braelin. That's the difference. You willingly opened your legs for a married man not once but twice, and because of this affair, you got pregnant knowing I was having issues."

Roman opened his mouth to interject, but Braelin held up her hand, stopping him from commenting any further. She didn't need to be protected from this, especially since she knew she was the one in the wrong.

Braelin bit down on her bottom lip. "I didn't know." she defended. "I found out what was happening with you after I found I was pregnant. That's why I didn't want to say anything because it would be another slap to the face, and I couldn't hurt you like that."

"It's too late, Braelin," Janelle yelled. "I'm hurt either way, and the worse thing about this whole thing is that I'm not even surprised Roman cheated with you because this was always our favorite dance. The three of us. But, what I was surprised about was how weak-minded you still are when it comes to him." Janelle pointed to Roman. "And at first, we could blame it on how young and stupid we were, but the truth is only one of us is still stupid," she said before walking off, leaving Naomi, Roman, and Braelin alone.

"I didn't know you were— that she was." Naomi didn't know what to say to her cousin. She didn't attend for her talk with Roman to end with her cousin being dragged in front of what she can now see as the entire fucking locker room. At some point during the argument, they must've gotten the attention of some of the other superstars, "Maybe we should go somewhere else."

Braelin was numb. She came to Roman to ask what the emergency was since he had called her and texted her ten times. The only reason she didn't answer the phone was that she was already in the building. "No, I'm fine. I just wanted to let you know that I did a maternity photoshoot today.' Braelin looked around the arena of people who still occupied the room.

Roman tensed. "Really, and you didn't think I would like to attend?"

Braelin furrowed her brows at the question. "What are you—" her phone rang. "Hey, baby," she said, looking over at Roman and Naomi before excusing herself.

Naomi ran a hand through her hair. "I never attended for anyone to find out like this. I pushed too far and—"

Roman didn't like that their business was now on full blast, but he could admit it was nice to be open and honest with everything, and it made what he had to do next that much easier. Janelle wasn't the bad guy, but she wasn't the victim Naomi was trying to paint her out to be. He knew she had some tricks up her sleeve, and he'd be damn if he allowed her to interfere with him and his family "Yea, maybe a little. But Janelle is up to something."

"Janelle is not my concern, and considering all the shit you already have to deal with, she shouldn't be yours either."

Roman snorted, "It's hard to tell whose side you're on these days."

"I'm on the side I've always been on, and that's Braelin."

"Oh yeah? It seems like you're more on Janelle's side, and I'm not sure why that is. You and Janelle aren't friends, but from the way you're acting, you two have been friends for years. Braelin is the one that needs you right now. So instead of throwing what we did back in her face every second, maybe you should try to remember she needs you right now." Roman said, walking off. He had a meeting with Paul Heyman. He'll talk to Braelin later.

"I'm glad everything went alright with Tata. Send him my love, ok."

"I will. We're still on for tonight?"

Braelin grinned. "Of course. I should be done here before 9. They don't have much for me so that it might be sooner, and then I'm all yours."

Dante liked the way that sounded but deep down inside; he could never get himself to believe it. "You promise?"

Braelin heard the double meaning behind his question, and now more than ever, she wanted to make that promise to him, "I promise, I'm all yours. I'll see you tonight, baby."

Naomi peaked her head into the room once she heard her cousin end her phone call. "I want to apologize to you."

Braelin stuffed her phone in her pocket. "For what? None of this is your fault."

"It's not, but I don't want you to feel like I'm not on your side. Because I am. I've just been on edge since after Jimmy's surgery."

Braelin sighed, "I know that you've been through a lot lately, and of course, I know you're on my side, Nao. But it just feels like you're punishing me sometimes."

Naomi grabbed Braelin's hand. "I'm not punishing you. Yes, I'm-- I'm upset that this happened. Honestly, I knew what kind of hold you and Roman had on each other. I wish that I intervened before things could get more complicated for you."

Naomi loved Roman like a brother, but after Roman broke things off with Braelin to give his relationship with Janelle another chance, she witnessed Braelin's heartbreak live and in color. If it weren't for Jimmy talking her down, she probably would've killed Roman for what he did to her cousin.

"I don't need--"

"You almost stopped wrestling after you lost him, remember that?" Naomi whispered heatedly.

"I remember, Naomi. It wasn't my finest moments, and I sure as hell don't want to relive them. It hurt. It still does. It's why I'm scared as hell to give my heart to Dante out of fear that he's going to do the same thing Roman did to me."

"Then you need to be honest with him. You're making promises to him that are going to be impossible to keep because you can't stay away from your ex, and now that you're pregnant with his children, it's going to be even harder to keep that much-needed distance."

Braelin whipped the loan to tear that rolled down her cheek. "How did I manage to fuck things up this badly? I didn't want to hurt anyone, but I ended up hurting everyone."

Naomi laughed. "It's your talent, I guess."

Braelin pinched Naomi. "Bitch."

"Just think about what I said, ok."

Braelin nodded. She suddenly wanting to see Dante now more than ever.

Paul Heyman stood at the end of the table, eyeing both Roman and Vince McMahon. "I think this partnership could be beneficial to everyone."

Roman nodded. "A heel turn is unexpected, and it could be what I need to make things more interesting."

Paul grinned, "I agree, so what do you say? Do we have a deal?" He said, extending his hand.

Roman eyed the hand in front of him for a while before shaking it. "We have a deal, and since Jimmy's injured. I want Jey along for the ride."

Vince looked almost skeptical by the idea, but he trusted Paul and Roman to take this new storyline to new heights. "Fine, I'll leave you to it."

"So, here's what I think we should do--"

"We need to involve Braelin somehow," Roman said, interrupting Paul.

Paul blinked. "What?"

"You heard me. Since we're introducing this new heel turn and turning it into a family affair, I think it's only fair to involve not only Jey but Brae."

Paul Heyman had no issue involving more of the company's top talent but last heard, Braelin was close to retiring. "Umm, sure. But I thought she was retiring. "

Roman took a sip of his water. "She was, but now she has a reason not to."

Paul looked confused. "Explain."

"It's simple. She can't wrestle while pregnant, and since she's carrying my children, it'll add more layers to the story while giving her a reason to stick around."

Paul wouldn't call himself a manipulative man in the slightest. He was a smart businessman that knew how to make any situation work in his favor in the name of good content. However, that didn't mean he was against it, or he didn't know it when he saw it and if you asked Paul what Roman Reigns was doing was a manipulation at his finest. But whatever worked, and if Roman wanted Braelin a part of the story, then that is what's going to happen. "Whatever the tribal chief wants. The tribal chief gets."

Roman smirked, "That's what I like to hear."

AN: I know it’s been a while but I wanted to start the new year off right. Thanks to everyone who still reads and comments on this story on both here and wattpad. Stay safe and happy reading!

taglist: @queenofthearchitect @calicina @never-sawft-princess @5dsinyourdirection @fancybarbii @aria725 @lustyromantic @kai1996en @angelbaby908

#roman reigns #roman reigns fan fic #wwe fanfiction #wwe smut #wwe #roman reigns fanfiction #key writes #ghostin

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sparkie96 · 4 years

Note

If you have the time. I’m curious about a soulmate AU whereLeon is soulmates with Dante and Vergil you can add any other verses to it if you want just to spice it up even more. :D

(Okay, so this is a sort of AU from a Soulmate Idea I had in my head for a long ass time (though originally, it’s for a Chreon Fic). Pretty much, you have the same tattoo or marking as your soulmate, say, a specific marking on your hand. Your soulmate would have the same exact mark on their hand as well. The color is that of a birthmark until you get close to one another. Yours glows a red, and theirs glows blue until you two touch. Then the colors “Blend” and make violet/purple.

Same concept here: Except both of Leon’s forearms are marked up with two different marks. Not Omegaverse, and no incest.

But now I might write a whole fic for this idea XD)

______________________________________________________

When one is born, they are born with a tattoo. Apparently, their soulmate bore the same exact mark in the same exact location on their own body. The coloration matches that of a birthmark...until they either meet their soulmate or are close to them. When that happened, the mark would glow the color of their soulmate’s, well, soul. If the soulmate died before they could meet face to face, the mark would fade and the person would be considered “blank”.

Leon had seen all of that happen in the past, from seeing Claire’s mark fade to seeing Ada’s own blank body. Sherry and Jake’s twin marks glowed a beautiful green when their hands met in China. And then there was Helena at the DSO who’s mark glowed a specific color, glowing a bright yellow when she met Nadia of the BSAA, who’s own mark glowed a bright red when she and Helena danced at that conference last year. When their hands met, the colors bled into each other and made their marks glow a harmonious orange.

Oh, how Leon envied them, or anyone who had “normal” markings.

When Leon was born, he had odd markings that ran up both of his forearms. They looked like the bodies of snakes or dragons that snaked their ways down his arms, the heads sitting on the backs of his hands, smacked dab on his wrists. Though the dragons looked to be twins, there were distinct differences between them.

The one on his right arm had a scarier looking face than its twin. Its teeth and claws were noticeably sharper but its scales were smoother in shape, not jagged like the left one. The eyes were intense, staring into Leon’s very soul. The left dragon had more jagged scales, but the teeth were not bared in anger. The claws were also noticeably duller in appearance. Its eyes were softer, kinder even, but they didn’t meet his own like its twin did. It was like the left dragon was more shy but welcoming.

What they meant? Who the hell knew, but according to several matchmakers and even readers Leon visited for the hell of it...the markings were unlike anything that they had ever seen. One reader was in awe, saying that he was special. Another had scoffed at their appearance, saying that Leon was either indecisive...or a whore. Leon merely laughed aloud at that before leaving.

Regardless of what anyone said or thought, Leon was unable to get any real answers for his troubles, left even more confused and conflicted than before. Above all of those emotions...he admittedly was upset.

What did these strange markings mean? Why did he have not one, but two markings? Did he have two soulmates? Was it just one with strange markings of their own? When would he meet them? He was turning thirty-eight next year...would he meet them before they perished? Before he inevitably fell to this never ending battle against BOWs and the bastards that made them? Chris’s mark had faded on the plane after New York...would the same happen to him? To his own soul mate or mates?

The thoughts and questions made his stomach churn and the stress got to him after New York, so Leon extended his vacation, despite Hunnigan’s and Adam Graham’s pleas and negotiations. Leon’s excuse was that he was next to useless in this stressful state, so he wouldn’t be able to help them. That, and the BSAA rudely interrupted his vacation, so it was only fair that he take back the time lost.

So, here he was; in a quaint little diner in a small town called Redgrave. Although the sign on the front had said “Restaurant Fredi”, it looked and felt more like a nice little diner. They had equally nice food, Leon all but devouring his simple breakfast of sunny-side-up eggs, buttered toast and bacon. He also had a cup of orange juice turned into mimosa after sneakily pouring some alcohol into it from the flask in his coat pocket.

After looking around and surveying the place, he noticed that he was one of few occupants in the diner. Granted, it was still early in the morning and the place had opened up not too long ago, but it was Leon’s cup of tea, so to speak. He preferred the quiet.

Well, the quiet lasted the equivalent of five minutes until an odd looking crew of ragtags pushed through the doors of Restaurant Fredi. The agent perked up slightly, more so out of pure curiosity more than anything, mainly because he wasn’t one who liked surprises very much. His brain started taking in details once he laid eyes on them mainly because they looked a tad out of place.

The group consisted of five people in total; three men and two women. Two of the men were freakishly tall and wore leather jackets that nearly brushed the floor when they walked. The one had a rugged look to him, a mop of messy white hair atop his head and scuffy, unshaved facial hair on his, well, face. Tired blue eyes merely gave the restaurant a careless once over. He looked like he didn’t sleep much. His jacket was blood red in color, wearing a loose navy blue top and tight jeans that ended at booted feet.

The other tall man wore blue everything, from his jacket to his vest and even his pants and boots. His own snowy white hair was slicked back and well kept. His face was clean shaven and he looked like he got sufficiently more sleep than the other man. If Leon didn’t know any better...and he didn’t, he could only guess that they were twin brothers due to their uncanny resemblance.

The third man, younger than the other two, wore a leather coat of his own, but wasn’t as tall as his companions. He also had white hair that was scruffy but clean cut, much like his bare face. It kind of reminded Leon of Chris’s hairstyle of choice, but white. He wore a torn up red shirt and equally torn jeans. He too wore boots and fingerless gloves, Leon noticing that all the guys wore them. He looked like the other two, so Leon could only guess that he too was related, possibly a son, cousin, or nephew to one, or both of the men. Well, a son to one of them.

The women were equally as odd as the men, though, very good looking. One woman wore all black and leather, wearing a corset with what looked like a lightning bolt shape cut through the middle and tied together with string. Golden locks cascaded down her shoulders and back before ending at her rear.

The next woman had chopped black hair that was above her shoulders and had the most interesting eyes Leon had ever seen; one eye blue and the other brown. She wore a dress shirt that had either been purposely styled to be cut right before her stomach, or accidentally. She wore black pants and boots too, wearing her own pair of fingerless gloves.

All in all, they certainly were interesting, at least in Leon’s perspective. The other diners didn’t seem to notice them, or were so used to them that they paid them no mind. So, regulars then, or at least locals.

“Hey, Dante. Party of five?” The waitress greeted and then asked cheerfully.

“Dante” was the scruffy looking guy, who merely smiled a friendly smile and gave a nod, “Hey, Cindy. Yep. Decided to treat my coworkers for breakfast.”

The black haired woman scoffed at that, “More like we’re treating you to breakfast, Dante.”

“Can it, Lady.” Dante replied, wrapping an arm around her neck affectionately as the waitress led them to the booth across the diner.

Leon’s brows furrowed at the exchange. Coworkers? What the hell did they do for a living? He feigned interest in his cellphone, occasionally stealing looks at the group as they sat in the booth while also eavesdropping on their conversation. Whether it was out of boredom or genuine interest...Leon would decide later.

While he continued to eat and scrolled aimlessly through his phone, he picked up little conversations here and there. He gathered that “Lady” was indeed the black-haired woman’s name and not a generic title, the blonde woman was “Trish”, the youngest white-haired man was “Nero”, and the blue clad man was “Vergil”. They talked about different things, but mainly “demons” and other seemingly ridiculous things had Leon not had the experience that he had.

Were “Demons” code for BOWs? Did these people run a secret group that hunted them like Leon did?

When Leon looked up again, he noticed that “Vergil” had taken his coat off...and was staring at the blue glowing mark on his right arm. Leon’s eyes all but bugged out of his head. No fucking way…

Vergil nudged Dante, who noticed the glowing mark before his brother even needed to grab his attention, taking off his own jacket and noticing that his own mark, on his left arm Leon noted, was glowing the same shade of blue before looking around at the other diners.

Leon’s eyes immediately looked down at his plate, his heart beating loudly in his ears like the drums of war. While doing so, he could see that the markings that peaked out between his jacket and gloves glowed as well; the left one glowing red and the right one glowing dark blue. His mouth suddenly felt dry, so he took a swig of his OJ.

Well, the motion caused his jacket to slide down and expose his left arm, exposing more of the glowing red mark…

...coincidentally at the same time Dante settled his eyes on Leon.

#Sinday Requests #WIP Day #Leon S. Kennedy #Dante Sparda #Vergil Sparda #Lady #Trish #Nero #Soulmate AU #DanteLeon #VergilLeon #Send Me Asks #Send Me Prompts #maybe an upcoming fic?

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chelsfic · 4 years

Text

Part Two - Wish You Weren’t Here - Diego Jiménez x Reader - Starz Power fanfic

Part One

A/N: I think this spun out of my control when the angst train left the station. Oh well???

Warnings: Same as before with the smut, exhibitionism, forced audience to exhibitionism. Only this time we’ve got some angst!! and also the reader has a panic attack due to her phobia of heights. Oh yeah and there’s a mention of murder?

***

When you step off the elevator the first thing you’re aware of is the noise coming from the living room. Whining, mewling female cries underlaid with Diego’s strained, masculine grunts and the obscene, wet sound of his dick slamming into his latest conquest. You take a little breath and square your shoulders. This is your new normal and you’re determined to face it. And the little stab of jealousy that cuts you from inside is barely even there anyway.

The penthouse’s open floor plan means you have an immediate line of sight on the activities as soon as you step out of the elevator alcove. Diego’s back is toward you, his muscles taught with effort as he buries himself inside the woman from behind. She’s pressed up against the window wall, her skin making loud squeaks against the glass each time he thrusts roughly into her. Damnit, Diego. Are you going to have to clean those windows every single day?

Diego hears the elevator chime as you arrive and he’s craning his neck to watch you over his shoulder, his teeth bared in a lustful grimace. You avoid his eyes and move into the kitchen, determined to start your work day as if your boss isn’t putting on an exhibitionist show in the next room. But Diego won’t let you get away that easy.

He calls your name in a voice that’s broken with lust and you close your eyes for a second, trying to master your body’s reaction to this man. Diego isn’t having it, “Come here, little girl! Now!”

The last word is an order barked out in the forceful tone he reserves for subordinates and you have no other option but to obey. Still, you drag your feet, making your way slowly toward the writhing couple and keeping your gaze fixed on the floor.

Diego groans and whines at you, “Get your ass over here.”

“Diego,” you sigh, finally stopping a couple feet away and still determinedly averting your gaze. Your voice shakes, “You know I don’t like being so close to the windows…”

Yeah. Sure. That’s the problem here. But you’re not lying. In addition to the jealousy, arousal, embarrassment, and confusion, you also feel that telltale shaky panic you always get when you’re too close to a high ledge.

Diego doesn’t stop frantically thrusting his hips as he responds, “I’ll keep you safe. Come here.”

He removes a hand from the woman’s ass and reaches out to you. God, you can not be swooning over this man telling you he’ll keep you safe while he’s fucking another woman. Right? RIGHT?

You slide cautiously forward and Diego hooks his arm around you, hugging you to his side even as he continues burying himself in this woman who still moans and writhes with abandon. He doesn’t try to cop a feel, he’s just holding you against his naked body. Your cheek presses against his muscled chest and you feel the instinctual urge to wrap your arms around him but you hold back. You need to stay detached. Your nascent attraction to your boss is already a problem without being drawn into his sex life as some...pitiful observer. With nothing to look at except the woman’s back and the perilous view from the windows you simply turn and bury your face into the crook of Diego’s arm. He threads his fingers through your hair gently even as his other hand digs bruisingly into the woman’s hip as he slams into her, grunting with his release.

Once it’s over he pulls away from both of you with a disorienting alacrity. You’re standing there stupidly, not sure what to do with yourself (and aching with discomfort at the moisture between your legs). The girl tries to pull Diego into a kiss but he presses a stack of bills into her hands and pushes her towards the elevator. She’s still nude, holding the money and her dress in her hands as she walks out.

Diego pulls on a pair of tight jeans and collapses onto the couch, grabbing the remote control and flicking on the giant television inlaid into the wall opposite the couch, looking casual as ever.

You take a deep breath, hand to your chest, trying to get a hold of yourself. You glance around and notice the obscene streaks on the window where the woman’s body had pressed against the glass. You let out a sigh and go to fetch the glass cleaner.

Diego snakes out a hand and grabs the bottom of your t-shirt as you pass by the couch.

He keeps his eyes fixed on the TV as he speaks, “Sit with me for a little while.”

For a second you’re at a loss for words as your brain tries to keep up with Diego’s rapid mood changes. Lust...dismissal...neediness. You’re also working through your own tumult of emotions. You’re still--ahem--worked up about what just happened. And confused about feeling jealous. And humiliated at being the third wheel to this man to whom you’re growing increasingly more attached despite your best efforts.

“I was going to clean the window? It’s all...smudged. Again. Maybe--maybe you could do that someplace else next time?” You can’t look at him. In fact you’d really like to hide in a little nook for a while or possibly the rest of eternity.

He just pats the seat next to him and dismisses your concern, “It can wait.”

You let out a shaky sigh and settle stiffly beside him on the couch. Diego is lying stretched out on the cushions and as soon as you sit he scoots up to rest his head in your lap, giving a little contented sigh as he flips through the channels. Your face is stricken with indecision, your hands hovering in the air over him. What is he doing? And why? And...oh god the wetness between your legs is a damning sign of your lingering arousal--can he? You might die.

You finally rest your hand on his bare shoulder, fingers tentatively rubbing gentle circles into his skin. Diego purrs in satisfaction and nuzzles his face against your thigh. Yeah, you’re dead now. But he just lays there, head in your lap, one hand wrapped around your knee, and watches a soccer match on TV. Questions swirl through your mind and you start talking before your brain has a chance to do anything about it.

“Diego, why do you--I mean...,” you flounder and grasp for words to voice questions you’re afraid to ask. Why did you do that? Why did you pick me? Why do you...like me? What do you want? But--even after being forced to watch him in his most unguarded, intimate moments--you can’t bring yourself to voice these questions that are too personal to be asking your boss.

It doesn’t matter because--yet again--Diego reads your mind. His voice holds a tone of amused condescension as he speaks, “You seem so...innocent. And good. It’s funny! I like to watch you get all embarrassed and flustered.”

You narrow your eyes at the back of his head, annoyed to have your fears confirmed: that he’s just been toying with you for his own amusement. But when you remove your hand from his shoulder to card your fingers through his hair and he gives another contented purr you start to question if he’s being straight forward with you. He clings to you like someone starved for affection--which--that can’t be true considering what you’ve just witnessed, right? But this is different, isn’t it? Diego is soft and comfortable. He’s not putting on a show. He’s seeking comfort from someone...what? Different? Someone who doesn’t know shit about his business. Someone who’s afraid of getting high off cocaine by accidentally breathing it in? Someone he calls...innocent? And good?

The elevator doors ping and all at once Diego stiffens in your lap, sitting up and roughly pushing your hand away. It’s beyond stupid that you feel hurt at his sudden withdrawal. But you do. His whole demeanor changes before your eyes, face closing off, guards coming up. One of his guys strides forward and you see him eyeing you sitting on the couch with little invisible question marks in the air around his head. Diego does too.

“Get back to work,” he orders, voice cold and hard once more. You nod and get up, scurrying away to get started on your chores and determinedly suppressing the hurt feelings that he’d only see as another sign of your weakness.

***

Diego’s been enjoying toying with you for a few weeks before he starts to question if he’s let you get too close. It’s the night of the roof top party when Ángel starts asking insolent questions that he should no better to keep to himself.

“Yo, Diego! That new maid you have is cute as hell, huh?”

Diego is lounging on the rooftop patio, an amazonian beauty currently worshiping him on her knees. His face darkens and he regards the other man with narrowed eyes.

He addresses him between gasps of pleasure, his words rushed, “I told you before she’s not for you, Ángel.”

Ángel laughs and claps Diego on the shoulder, “It’s like that? Never thought Diego Jiménez would catch feelings...”

Diego’s orgasm interrupts the conversation. He grabs the girl by the hair and holds her head still as he fucks into her mouth, grunting with aggressive passion as he finishes. Ángel looks away, backs off. He misses the murderous gleam in Diego’s eye.

***

It’s hard to call it a routine since Diego’s life is so chaotic and unpredictable--but you get used to the flow of events that surround your employer. Most days you arrive at the penthouse to find a massive mess from the party the night before. You grumble and sigh and shoot annoyed glances at him when he deigns to wake up, but you remind yourself that the money is enough to pay off your car loan sooner and maybe (finally) move into a better apartment--so you deal with it.

The other stuff is more... difficult. Sometimes all you have to endure is watching a gorgeous woman’s walk of shame as she leaves the apartment. But other times it’s...more. Diego definitely loves an audience. And you seem to be his favorite. He always wants you touching him in some way while he takes his pleasure from the nameless women who line up to sleep with him. You’re disgusted with yourself that you keep letting him play with you like this. But a part of you wants to be near to him anyway you can, delighting that he lets you this close, even if it’s downright insulting. What if this is all he ever offers you?

You shake those morose thoughts from your head as you enter the penthouse and do a double take at the pristine rooms. Nothing out of place, no half-dressed bodies passed out on the furniture? You practically skip into the living room thinking how much easier your day will be because Diego--apparently--spent a single night not partying.

You should have known better.

Diego’s bent over the coffee table as you walk in, snorting a line of coke off the glass. You freeze in place, feeling like you’ve disturbed a private moment. Which is beyond dumb, girl--how many of Diego’s “private moments” have you witnessed? But you’ve never seen him getting high before…

He wipes his nose and looks up at you with bright eyes, cracking his neck with pent up energy. He has a look on his face that’s positively feral and you take a step back, feeling fear you haven’t felt in weeks.

“Diego. Are you...okay?” you ask. Are you okay? He’s probably feeling just fine--what is the matter with you?

He smirks cruelly up at you, “Sweet, innocent, Y/N. You’re scandalized? Really? You know what I am.”

You try to sound casual and non-judgmental as you reply. Of course you know what he does for business. It’s just...

“It’s just...I’ve never seen you--”

“You want me to fuck you so bad but you can’t handle all of me, can you? Little girl,” derision drips from his words. Okay, what the fuck?

You feel tears stinging your eyes at his words. So this is what he’s like when he’s high. Charming. You turn from him and walk over to the closet to grab your cleaning supplies.

“Hey,” he calls after you, “You need to go up to the patio and clean up. We were up on the roof last night.”

You freeze with your back to him, feeling the creeping sensation of panic on the back of your neck. Is he kidding?

“Diego...I--I can’t do that…”

He stands and looms over you, his eyes are mean.

“What the fuck am I paying you for? There’s a mess up there that needs cleaning.”

“But--”

He puts his hand on the back of your neck and squeezes. Just as he did that first day. You don’t understand why he’s being like this. He’s been so soft with you lately. You try a different tactic, bringing your hand up to cup his stubbled jaw as you look into his eyes. His eyes melt a little at your touch.

“You know how I’m afraid of heights. Isn’t there someone else…”

But his eyes harden again almost immediately and he rips away from you. You barely catch a panicked look on his face as he turns away. He’s let himself be too vulnerable with you. He can’t afford that. Not if people are starting to notice.

“I pay you to clean,” he says in a monotone, with his back on you. “Go do that.”

***

The biblical mess that awaits you on the rooftop patio is actually a blessing in disguise. It’s so bad that you’re too busy to acknowledge your crippling fear for a little while. It’s only after the first hour of bagging, scrubbing and disinfecting--when things are starting to look more civilized--that you feel the fear return. It’s about time to head down and toss the trash anyways, so you make your way to the door, lugging three full garbage bags.

A painful knot in your throat forms when you see the door sealed shut. You’d left a chair propping it open so you wouldn’t get locked out, but the chair is on its side and the door stands shut, like a stone locking you inside a tomb.

Okay, wow--that was really melodramatic. Maybe it’s not locked. You try the knob. Definitely not moving. Calm, deep breaths. You set the bags down and try the door knob again, turning it in all directions, pulling, pressing and tugging with increased energy as the panic takes hold. You’re stuck. You’re stuck up here. The wind blew the chair over. What if. What if...oh my god.

No. You’re not getting blown away with the wind. There is a--very inadequate--fence around the roof to protect you. You’ll be fine. You’ll just...send a text Diego and he’ll come let you inside and it will all be…

Fine.

To: Beefy Boss Boi

Hey I’m stuck up on the roof. Can you come let me back inside? Thanks.

You force yourself to sound cool and collected in the text, even as you’re getting down on your hands and knees and starting to shake. Diego will get the message and be here before you know it.

***

Nothing like an unexpected visit from his sister to completely destroy Diego’s fucking high. Not like he was really enjoying himself, he admits. Sitting around thinking about how hurt you looked when he was mean to you earlier. Fuck. It’s worth it, though. He can’t keep letting you get under his skin. If Alicia even suspected there was someone he-- nope. Fuck that train of thought. Diego does not catch feelings. He fucks. And parties. And occasionally hurts people for fun. That’s it.

He thinks about fucking Ángel asking questions about you last night. Insinuating. Had he really been so transparent? That motherfucker won’t be talking again...ever. But he needs to end this anyway.

And now he’s got the queen of all buzzkills to help him get yo off his mind. Fucking hooray.

She swans through his penthouse, looking around critically as if she’s inspecting the housekeeping. Diego feels a flare of anger on your behalf. But when she finally gets around to the purpose of her visit it’s a familiar criticism.

“You’re having too many parties, Diego. You need to fucking calm down for a while. Too many people in and out of this place. Who screens these people? Who knows who they go and talk to afterwards? Do you understand me?”

Diego’s phone vibrates from inside his pocket but he ignores it.

“I screen them, Alicia,” he responds stonily. She has no faith in him.

“Diego, I’m not asking. I’m telling. Cool it for a while.”

She leaves and Diego stalks into his bedroom like a sullen teen. Fucking bitch.

***

You’ve sent Diego about twenty text messages and he’s still not here. It’s been about an hour since you realized you were trapped and you’re just curled up on the ground clutching your phone to your chest and squeezing your eyes shut. Imagine you’re someplace safe. Ugh! Your mind decides to supply you with an image of Diego’s stupid face. Diego who is ignoring your texts because he’s mad at you for no reason?

Finally, the door slams open and you hear his voice call your name. You’re too far gone to even look up. He rushes over and wraps his arms around you, holding you to his chest and pressing soft kisses into your hair. A faint voice inside pipes up and says you should try to enjoy this feeling while it lasts. A louder voice is still wailing, Danger! Danger! Danger!

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, Y/N,” he whispers, tucking his arms underneath you and picking you up in one swift motion. Ugh, first time in your life getting carried bridal-style by a guy strong enough to lift your dead weight ass and you’re basically incoherent. You cling to his shoulders with bruising force until you’re back in the safety of the stairwell.

When he finally gets you back into the penthouse you nearly sob with relief. You never thought you’d feel so safe in this place. He tucks you into the leather couch and leaves to dash up to his bedroom, returning with the massive coverlet stripped from his bed. He wraps you in it, cocooning you in the rich fabric until you feel like a safe little burrito. He’s so attentive and considerate. So...not Diego. He tucks the blanket around you and then just kneels there next to you, watching your tear streaked face as you take everything in.

How are you supposed to deal with this? Earlier he was so cruel and now he’s acting all...sweet and caring. You have whiplash from his mood swings. You decide you don’t need to deal with anything right now except calming down and feeling better. You lay your head back against the armrest and close your eyes, steadying your breathing.

Diego stares down at you. He’s still feeling the aftereffects of the fear that had gripped him when he finally glanced at his phone and saw all of your increasingly panicked text messages. How could he ask you to go up there when he knows how scared you are of heights? He’d been selfish and juvenile. Everything Alicia thinks of him is true. He scowls in self disgust and clenches his fists in his hair. So stupid!

You open your eyes to see Diego’s anguished expression and you feel every ounce of anger and betrayal bleed out of your system. You lift a hand to cup his cheek and whisper, “Thanks for coming to get me.”

Diego frowns and answers, “The next time I ask you to do something like that. Tell me no. Okay? You...you don’t have to do whatever I tell you. You’re…”

Different...special...beautiful...innocent...good…

But he can’t say the words. Of course he can’t. Instead he leans down and presses his lips to yours, kissing you with all of the grace and gentleness you’ve never seen him give to any of his lovers.

When he pulls away you can already see the seed of regret and denial in his eyes but you choose to ignore it for now.

Tags (message or ask to be added/removed):

@1zashreena1 @lannister-slings-and-arrows @glowingpena @flower-petal-blooming @symbiont13 @pullthedamnlever @sparrows-books @joalsglasses @ishqinbbc @pre-schoolervengance @skys-luce-stellare

#Diego Jiménez #diego Jiménez x reader #Diego Jiménez imagine #maurice compte #starz power #diego jimenez #diego jimenez x reader #chelsfic #smut

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those-garsh-darn-homos · 3 years

Text

My encounter with God

I used to be a person of high faith, and I believed there was a higher deity looking down on us. The question of whether that deity is a man, woman, or not even human at all, had always plagued me, or the reasoning for their indecisiveness on so many issues in the world. Just like so many others, I would sit awake on nights and ask, how could a God allow such evil to flourish in this world? Such injustice to go unchallenged and unresolved. My first encounter with God, came just I did.

It was a late, sleepless night. The day had been long and hard, and the week had been worse. Life was moulding together into a miasma of daily tasks that I completed with no true accomplishment being felt by the end of any of them. So, there I lay, looking at the ceiling, asking myself questions that I did not have the answer to such as “why was I here? What purpose do I even have anymore? Would anyone miss me if I disappeared tomorrow?”. I had ostracized myself from social circles in order to distance myself from any further stress and conflict in life, but the decision had only brought me more pain and misery. Nothing could help me get out of this pit of despair I had dug myself into, not drugs, not sex, not even the fucking tube. I was well and truly hopeless, in every sense of the word. Despite my internal philosophical conversation, I still felt natural urges that needed satisfying, as my thoughts suddenly shifted to a pair of double-D breasts I had saw on the bus that particular day. I sighed and reluctantly unzipped my fly, preparing to charm the one-eyed snake like so many nights before. First, I envisioned touching them, feeling them up like one might do to the melons in the fruit aisle. I slowly moved up to rubbing my face against them, feeling my airways being blocked by sacks of colostrum. Finally, the fantasy involved me hotdogging the two globes while twisting the mammary glands sensually, since it wasn’t only my enjoyment that mattered at the end of the day, right? I could feel the climax on the horizon, the body tensing, mind racing, breathing manic, until it happened, and my life was changed forever. As the semen ran up the urethra, time slowed, what was seconds, became a minute, and my sense of reality shifted momentarily. My dark, humid, piss scented bedroom, was filled with an overwhelming light, so much that my eyes began to water. A figure stood in front of me, and as strange as the situation was, I did not feel scared, but more as though I was in a familiar old family home. The figure stood, illuminated and shadowed by a beam of light emanating from behind them. They outstretched their arms to me and began to speak, but as I heard their first words, it all disappeared, the light, the figure, the vision, it was all over within a minute. I grabbed my chest as I felt my heart racing from the incident, thinking I had gone mad or had some sort of stroke. I cleaned up my cum covered body and went to bed, thinking of the figure, and why the vision had affected me so deeply. It didn’t concern me as much as I thought it should. Words at the time could not explain my feelings or emotions towards the event. For such a bizarre event, it didn’t feel out of place in the slightest, in fact I felt oddly calm and understanding about the vision.

I woke up the next morning and went about my day, feeling far more peaceful and fulfilled then I ever had. I had thought of myself as a hopeless case for so long that the feeling of peace was so foreign to me. I had conversations with people, I enjoyed what I was doing, thinking of that figure the whole time. I was never really a believer in the paranormal or anything of the such, but any rational explanation that I tried to tell myself, I found it was all just so unsatisfactory, it didn’t explain it. It wasn’t in my head, it was real, somehow, it shouldn’t have been, but it was. The workday ended and I was left to walk home. Once there I partook in the usual time wasters, TV, food, reading, but as midnight neared, I felt the urges again, like clockwork. I held my manhood in one hand and stared into the ceiling, waiting for the climax, and when it did, my eyes were met with blinding lights once again. I felt as though I was the deer in headlights, taking aback by the incandescent glow, body frozen in time as it’s beauty shun upon me. The figure stood before me once again and I asked “who are you?” and as the light dimmed and the vision weakened, I heard their reply “God”. It didn’t last as long this time. What was a minute last night, only felt like 30 seconds this time. It was definitely shorter.

Fears related to my own sanity began to rush my thoughts. I really had gone mad if I was talking to God, but it didn’t feel like some sort of imagination, it attacked all my senses. Incense burning, light shining, angels singing, my mind couldn’t have possibly created that, could it? I went to get a CAT scan the next day. When they slotted me into the machine, I was expecting them to find some sort of brain bleed or tumour that was inducing visions but they assured me there was nothing on the scan. While it was relieving in one aspect, at the same time I was no closer to understanding the reason for these visions, and I was apprehensive to disclose that I was seeing God every time I orgasmed to a phycologist, knowing they’d probably lock me up in the looney bin.

Weeks passed and fear of seeing God had gripped my soul tighter than a virgin’s ass. I couldn’t stand the thought of seeing them for seconds, all those questions I would have, all those arguments that I wouldn’t be able to have in that little time we do have together. Their glow, it filled me with feelings I hadn’t felt since I was a child. Such feelings of safety and protection I had thought I had forgotten so long ago, and yet came back to me like familiar tunes in the back recesses of my memory. Why me? Why would I be visited by God, when there are those on the verge of death that need guidance from such a figure. I don’t even go to church. Motivation filled me however, I felt imbued with creativity, to fulfil my dreams and do what I wanted to do, not what I was told. I created art, stories that I was proud of. I put them out for the whole world to see, to share in my pride of my creations, and for once in a long time, I felt happy with myself.

The solutions to my problem had been narrowed down to divine intervention. I would have to enlist the help of the Catholic clergy if I wanted to understand any of this madness. I visited a church and asked the Priest for guidance. We sat and he asked what was troubling me. I responded to his question with one of my own. “Father, have you ever actually met him?” I said, he bowed his head in assurance and replied, “The lord watches over us, there is no need for him to speak to us” which I took as a no. If he had never met God himself, then why is he a fucking priest? What is holding his faith together? “I did, last night Father, as I pleasured myself, I saw them, there was a light and they spoke to me. I keep seeing them but only for seconds now, not even, I see them in a glimpse now. I have tried to stop but every time I see them I feel at peace with myself, their glow is just has ineffable effects on my soul, it gives me faith in myself, more than it does in God” He once again understood and wrapped an arm around me in comfort, “Do you believe God has come to you for a certain reason my child?” yet as he said it, I didn’t have an answer for him, “I’ve lost my faith? Could that be why they came to me? I’ve also been stuck in a cycle of self-loathing, it’s hard for me to love myself Father, I try so hard, but life keeps seeming more pointless by the day. I ask myself why we’re here, why I’M here, but I never have the answer. I have lost my purpose for life. Do you think God visited me to help me re-follow the path of righteousness?” He assured me that God had a plan for me, as did he for all of us. “Your worries are needless my son, God does not put us here for no reason, there is always a bigger picture just beyond our view. We may never fully see it, but the important thing is we are always contributing to it”. His words did comfort me, and his guidance did assist me. I knew I would have to find a way to ask God what his plan was, if I had any hope of understanding anything in this world or my future. I could not sit back and know that the answers to everything were in my grasp, I could only see them for mere seconds that was the problem. Like a dog being teased with the scent of fresh meat, I was salivating and in desperate need of sustenance, only of the mental verity instead of the digestive.

In desperate times, desperate measures become viable options, and in this time, I had only one. My interactions with the Holy ghost had become flashes, missed if I so much as blinked. I would only get a syllable out to them if I was lucky and then the light would fade in an instant. For months I hypothesized ways to achieve a state of orgasm for longer since I had narrowed that exact moment as I achieve climax to be the one moment where they come to me. I had come to the realization that women achieve longer orgasms than men thanks to the large amount of nerves in their clitoris which was specifically intended for pleasure and nothing else. At first, I was worried about the implications of becoming a transgender woman, leaving behind my previous sex for a life filled with the hardships of a female in such a male dominated world, but I couldn’t miss my opportunity to help the world, if it meant waving farewell to my magnum private eye, then so be it. It took a few weeks but once I had begun taking the estrogen to start the process, my body became far more sensitive to any slightest touch. Soft breezes against my skin tickled the hairs on my arm and gave the sensation of feathers running up and down my back. I knew the treatment was working when the light returned, this time for at least ten seconds. He knew how much joy I felt seeing him again and did not ruin the emotion thick in the air by speaking, they only outstretched their hand, and placed it in my own. I closed my eyes as I held on tight, and while the light may have faded, I felt their hand in mine for all of that night, giving me more love than I had ever experienced in my life, just from their hand alone. I refused to open my eyes, to see them gone, so I simply lay, holding on until I fell into unconsciousness.

Time passed as it does, and I had refrained from pleasure of any kind until I would finally have my clitoris. With this golden ticket to speaking with the lord of all life, I would be able to right the world of all wrongs, to answer questions long thought to be forgotten and impossible to comprehend. I would have the knowledge of Gods and save the world from itself, to rectify humanity and all of it’s selfishness and greed. People would look up to me, they would see my wisdom and share in it, bringing about a new age of humanity. I would be a prophet, the next Moses or Muhammed, come to set the world on it’s proper path.

The day of the surgery came and before I went under, I envisioned speaking with him, I thought of every question, I would bring the worlds woes upon his shoulders and make him fix it. As our creator he would have to do exactly that. The surgeons began their procedure, and I could feel the beginning of my new life had started in this very moment. No longer would time be a hinderance to my meetings with God, no longer would I have seconds to speak with no words spoken in that time, no longer would their omnipotence go unnoticed, they would have to answer to me, they would have to fix it all. My prayers could no longer be drowned out when I was the only one standing in front of them, they would have to bring my father back, they would have to fix my finances, they would have to make all sickness cease and death an afterthought of the human condition. Perhaps they had simply been ignorant to the cries of help from humanity and all those in desperate need to divine intervention. The amount of people they simply watched die, and for what? Joy? How could they sit and watch that every day? Never feeling guilt upon their shoulders. It’s sick to think of God as some sadist, but to not do anything for these people, why else would they do it? He can help them, can’t he? If God is good, how can he simply watch us suffer? Is he really omnipotent, or have we just assumed that he is in fact a God above man? Every horrible thing done onto me throughout my life, flashed in my head as I underwent that sex change surgery, everything that God sat back and watched happen, and in that moment, I hated God, I hated everything he stood for, silent observation in the face of suffering.

When I awoke from the surgery, I inspected my newly bequeathed meat curtains. The wonders of modern science did not fail to amaze me. I ran one finger over the clitoris and knew in an instant, I would have more than enough time to speak with God after this. I was discharged and sent home, and on that night, I took the leap, and met my maker. I began to ring the devil’s doorbell, and after much ringing, he answered. Weeks of pent-up sexual pleasure had led to this moment, and as the endorphin release began, so too did the turning point of my entire life. The light engulfed me in all it’s beauty and for the first time, God came to me, not shadowed any longer, showing their true self. It was a woman, the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. Long pristine brunette hair, eyes green like fields of fresh grass, skin as soft and smooth as silk. This was God? “I know you’re surprised, and I know why you’re here, you have some questions for me don’t you?” her voice, it was, so soothing, how could I feel so much hatred for someone so perfect in every way? “You’re God?” I asked, giving her a smile on her own face from my question “They played me as a black man in Bruce Almighty, is it that surprising that I could be a woman?” She had a point, no reason why it could be impossible. “My child please, ask me anything you wish to know and I will tell you” for months I had waited for this moment, and not even the first expectation I had about this encounter was right. If God was a woman, what else about her was a lie? How much did we really know about God? Had I really just imagined all of this? I sat down and asked my first question, “Why?”. She understood it perfectly, crossing her legs in preparation for a long chat. “Why are you here? Because I created you, long ago, I had a plan for you, just like everyone else. When I created the first tiny little organism that would later become you, I knew I was creating something perfect”. Her answer rattled my brain, I had been planned for all of time? “You don’t understand, why are humans here God? Why do you watch them suffer? How come you don’t help those in need?” and as much I wanted her brow to furrow and her expression to be one of anger, she remained calm and began to speak once again.

“You see, humans are not like many other creations of mine. When I created you, humans that is, I gave you something that no other entity has had before, the knowledge of the Gods. You’ll find it referenced in the Bible, when Eve ate the apple, but most of that is all metaphors. There was no garden of Eden, but it did represent the beginning of humanity. I couldn’t explain to people two thousand years ago the process of evolution, so I had to explain their purpose in another way, in a way they would understand. Humans are wiser now, but it did serve its purpose. As for your second question, it’s very simple, you are all Gods in your own right. I gave you my knowledge so that you could prove that good can prevail over evil. You might be thinking, and yes, it’s true, God is capable of evil, greed, anger and hatred too, I am just like you. The only difference between humans and I, is your mortality, which is a blessing that I was never given. I have been cursed with immortality, for a sin I am unaware of.” As she said that, I thought about God’s creation, did someone give her life? A God above Gods? She continued “Your mortality is something I gifted you with to see the importance of life. While you may see death as something to fear, it gives you reason to strive for greatness. If you knew you would never die, you would never see a point to life, you would never want to use your time for anything meaningful, since there would be so much of it. Your mortality gives you reason to do the right thing, to respect life in all it’s beauty. If all sickness and suffering was healed by me, you would have no reason to live. You would not see life for the impermanent thing that it truly is, you would become complacent, ignorant to the good in this world. The capacity to save life is within you, all of you, every human has the capacity to do good, and just as much of a capacity to do evil. You know right from wrong, not because I told you, but because of your respect for life. Evil is in you too, just as I am not one woman, the devil is not one man, you are all Gods and devils yourselves, it is simply up to you whether to do good or evil. You say I do not help those in need, but every doctor, every nurse, every helper in this world, they are me and I am them, we are two sides to the same coin. That is divine intervention, when an ordinary person like yourself, decides to do what is right and help those around you.”

Everything she said resonated with me, it all began to make sense. The world was never so black and white, we were always living in this symbiotic relationship between our maker and ourselves. She wasn’t cruel, she could’ve been, but she decided to give life to something she did not need to. She could have made us immortal, made us loath our own existence, but she empathized, and gave us what we needed, not what we wanted. If it was not for the constant looming fear of death, I most likely would have given up before I started this life. “But what about death? Is there heaven or hell?”

She held her hand in mine and began to explain the true nature of our demise “It is not so simple, when you die, you’re not really dead. Physically yes, you’re decomposing, but spiritually, you live on in everyone you knew. Humans have developed such an amazing connection with one another that it transcends death. I didn’t understand it when I saw it, since it’s in your nature, but I have observed it closely, and while I might not feel it myself, it is a powerful thing that you can’t fully understand yourself. While you can’t affect the world yourself when you die, your life could affect the course of the future for decades to come. Generations, still feeling affects from your life, your actions have ripples in the waters of humanity that you can’t see, but I can. People may not know that it’s you that has affected them, but you are still alive in that time. That is true immortality. While you rest, your life continues, long after your heart may stop, but it does keep beating, just a little smaller, in another person’s heart.” Not only was life symbiotic but so too was death. It all made such clear sense that I didn’t understand why it wasn’t so obvious before. The suffering is there for us to stop, not God. The death is there to give us reason to end the suffering. It wasn’t cruel at all, it was the most loving thing that a mother could give to her child.

“But why can I only see you after achieving an orgasm?” The light began to dim as I asked her this, and I knew this would be the last thing she would say “Euphoria my child, I gave humans the gift of pleasure between each other. It is a beautiful thing, sex. I created it in a way that anyone can partake in it, and I made it so it would be a celebration of life. Every time you orgasm, it is a reminder that life can be good. People will try to stigmatize it, but everyone knows how good it is, and everyone has done it, it doesn’t need to be said, but no humans would be here if it wasn’t for sex. It is for those few people like yourself that have lost their way. You are not bad, but you simply need some guidance. For a few moments in your orgasmic euphoric state, you are able to transcend into my plain of existence. For those few seconds, everyone becomes a being of pure love. You have simply fallen into loneliness, you are not bad or evil, you are just confused with life. I only come to those that need me but do not know it, not those that want me but don’t need me. I have talked to many people like yourself, you might meet one or two of them but it is very unlikely. They don’t talk about me because they do not need to. That priest you talked to does believe in me, but he does not need to meet me to believe in me, he only needs to see the good in the world, and see that God is within him and so many others. Go now, live your life with purpose and do the right thing in the face of evil. Respect life, and show people that God is within everyone, they only need to believe in themselves”

With that, the light faded, and I was back to my mortal life. No more than thirty seconds had passed in that elongated moment in time, but that is all it took for me to see that it wasn’t about worshipping God or praying for the good in the world to appear. I was the good in the world, I was everything I was always looking for, and now I had to prove it, to show others the true meaning of life. Look out world, cause here comes Christine Weston Chandler. NOW STOP FUCKING ASKING ME WHY I’M TRANS!!!

#god

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baddyxangel · 3 years

Text

well...that was an...experience.

spoiler

ok babies so i finally finished ALL of teen wolf and umm...wow . im gonna go ahead and share my thoughts, i think im gonna split this into 2 posts 1 where i talk about the characters individually and 1 where i just speak in general

6B never happened, I've never heard of it, never seen it, never touched it, never smelled it and i dont think i wanna see anything anymore.

starting with our MC we have scott, the indecisive, pure, irritating, "true alpha". now my problems with scott are honestly just preferrence but still somewhat justified . if you're familiar with comics you know that we always have our hero who believes and tries his best to save EVERYBODY including his enemies, and he is the "if i kill them i'll be just as bad as them" type. now the issue i have with this trope is that its just annoying and naive , I've always been more of a wonder woman type myself personally i dont see this issue with killing 1 person who has killed hundreds or dozens. Scott in most cases is very...bland ? very cookie cutter goody two shoes type, naive and a little bit soft, and for how gassed up true alphas are he is EXTREMELY underwhelming and one is his only saving graces for me is me being attracted to him.

he lets some of the most dangerous people in his universe roam freely because there is a "line" he wont cross and while i get those are his morals and his code i just personally couldnt fuck with it if i was in pack. his innocence meshes more well with ignorance. AND FOR FUCKS SAKE LET THIS MAN BE FUCKING SINGLE

also this was added in post: he's best on screen when he has other people with him to actually show he had some kind of personality besides "me help people" is what I've noticed. specifically stiles, derek and isaac tbh. i think one of my fav scott moments is "im the hot girl 🙂" and isaac saying "yes you are 👍🏽"

Stiles now we all know stiles, the best friend, the brains of the operation, the sarcastic and funny one who lightens the mood. Now stiles is one of my favorites (surprise surprise) because he's not infuriating to me i dont think I've ever been frustrated with mr.stilinski. he's essentially scotts polar opposite but not really if you get what i mean ? idk i love him, moving on.

Allison- i like her. got on my nerves after her coocoo ass momma died but y know. i thought her and scott were cute and i would've liked her to stay alive

Lydia- my favorite banshee, smart, but for some reason is always being taken hostage, attacked, injured, and put into extremely horrifying situations and i dont think i like that.

Kira- personally my fav of scotts Gf's, i think she's cute, right amount of awkward, strong, interesting and i would've loved for her kitsune to have been able to kill somebody. jeff davis obviously did her dirty with her storyline that was apparently finished even though...we still didnt get to learn that much about her powers ? whatever im upset.

Liam- dont like him . moving on. also the long hair didnt grow on me and i dont think it will.

Jackson- eat shit and die.

coach- we love you.

monroe- i could write an entire 2 hour movie script on this hoe. bitch killed 1 hellhound and start feeling ha pussy and thinking she hot shit fuck this lil girl was annoying, moving on before i keep typing.

gerard- you got what the fuck yo old ass had coming to you

peter- we love an anti hero with a sense of humor 💕 and idc he would've wrecked everybody shit in season 1

kate- girl...you are a mess of a hoe. lemme stop there before i write a book on her too.

chris- ily

melissa- someone give her an award ASAP

sherrif- you were very on and off for me

derek- baby i missed you so much, leave scott musty ass and come pack this puss-

dread doctors- these fuckers used to put fear in my soul when i was little

deaton- i dont like how he's used as a plot device.

desert wolf- LMFAOOOO

malia- i like her because she's impulsive but sometimes those impulsive tendecies make me wanna stomp her head in the ground.

deucalion- also used a plot device after his season and then died for no reason. im so sorry for what this show did to you

im missing a lot but if you drop your opinions and names in the replies i'll share my opinion on whoever i missed

Thoughts on Theo? theo- hated his manipulative ass but he is so fine so it hurt me to be screaming and cursing at my tv when he was on screen. originally i was extremely irritated and annoyed when they brought him back cause i dont think he needed to be redeemed like at all, even though i appreciate that i can love him without him being a piece of shit it was unneeded i think . id still fuck him tho

scott pissed me off cause... is theo just a great liar or does scott just hate stiles ? why would he believe theo so easily yet not ask for stiles part of the story ? its like he forgets that stiles doesnt have claws and fangs and shit so of course he's gonna do what he does to survive when y'all can't protect him 🙄 i swear their werewolf hearing only works when the plot needs it too (ik they probably need to focus to enhance their hearing but still it's so annoying-) the season is essentially based on misunderstandings tbh. everyone's lying for no reason at all. but i do like how we actually get to see the effect of their mental health but this is also what i mean when i was talking about scotts fluctuating intelligence and how he's only smart when the plot needs him to be, how does he go from being the dimmest bulb in the box to being able to be in AP biology or whatever class it was. it makes no sense at all

”scott pissed me off cause... is theo just a great liar or does scott just hate stiles? why would he believe theo so easily yet not ask for stiles’ part of the story?” Because Scott McCall is a toxic friend and an even shittier werewolf (he couldn’t even detect Theo’s cheap lies and let himself be played like a fiddle throughout Season 5) And because Stiles doesn’t cater to Scott’s delusions of werewolf Jesus-hood and doesn’t stroke Scott’s ego like Theo does. Scott simply chose to believe the worst of his neurodivergent best friend – the boy who risked his own life to save his whiny ass countless times – because it suited his agenda, and because he’s pissed that Stiles didn’t share his own trauma with him like Scott wanted and demanded. SCOTT: We can’t kill the people that we’re trying to save! There’s always a choice! And yet Scott has no problem conspiring with Deucalion (Boyd and Erica’s murderer) behind everyone’s back to assassinate Josh and Tracy AND trying (but failing) to kill Gerard – selling Derek and his Pack out to the hunters, violating Derek, and using Derek as his own personal murder weapon to achieve that – just because “He threatened my mom! I had no choice!” A True Hypocrite indeed

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demonkidpliz · 4 years

Text

Things I learned while re-watching Star Plus Mahabharata (Part 11/many):

1) Kunti be like I fucked up so bad with Draupadi, I’m now banning myself from giving any advice.

2) Yay! Krishna and Kunti are meeting. My two favourite statesmen.

3) Krishna talking about parenthood with Kunti because he has so much experience being father of the universe.

4) Krishna passing through the sun and his crown glinting like the luminous Buddha 😍

5 Who’s benefit does Shakuni do all these theatrics for? Both his sister and brother-in-law are blind.

6) Arjun and Krishna are 😍

7) Kakashri Vidur is here! He does not look happy about all the polyandry.

8) Shakuni when Bhishma walks in to stop the coronation, so close!

9) Bhishma introducing himself as Shantanu’s son and calling Dhritarashtra, son.

10) Karna is such an upstart. He thinks he can challenge Bhishma?

11) Duryodhan’s hair is so damn fine.

12) Bhishma is like Ghatotkatch can’t be a Kuru but he can be my great grandson. Wtf.

13) Bhishma is like first you marry a rakshasi, then you have a half rakshas baby. Now you’re telling me all five of you have married this princess? Adharm!

14) I feel so bad for Bhishma. He loves this family so much. And it’s not even his family, technically.

15) I love Arjun so much. He always puts the women in his life front and centre. Even when everyone else is busy ignoring them.

16) Bhishma is like oh no the adharmi girl has come to talk to me.

17) Draupadi is here passing some Mjolnir test.

18) Yudhisthira making some very good points in favour of Draupadi. Where was this keen insight when she was being dragged to the court by her hair to be stripped?

19) Arjun is going to do something stupid. My spidey senses are tingling.

20) Ah Arjun finally did the stupid thing. He drew weapons in court.

21) Karan is undergoing some chemical transformation wtf. Kunti be like 👀

22) At least OG granddaddy is back on the Pandava’s side.

23) Bhishma is now rightfully pissed at Vidur for suggesting they split up their kingdom. Shakuni did not see this coming.

24) Duryodhana says this is his rashtra and he will not share it with his cousins. Apart from the fact that he sounds like a petulant child, the man’s got a point.

25) Dhritarashtra has many faults but being an indecisive little bitch tops that list.

26) Wtf why are these men even allowing themselves to be tied up and carted off like common criminals.

27) This scene is so sad. Bhim loves Panchali the most, who loves Arjun the most, who will eventually go on to love Subhadra the most.

28) Bhishma is so sexy when he’s mad. Real (grand)daddy vibes.

29) Shakuni playing the long game in order to maximise the Kurus’ sufferings.

30) Dhritarashtra playing the blind card one more time. In Starbharat, Dhritarashtra is not a good person, he is not attached to Vidur and his uncle. In most other stories he is. Here he’s smarming up to Bhishma who is stupid enough not to see through it. Or is he?

31) Draupadi is so smart. Kunti chose a good successor. Seriously with an evil uncle like Dhritarashtra, and a useless uncle like Vidur and no father, the Pandavas would have died out of it weren’t for Kunti, and later Draupadi.

32) I see. Bhishma bartered away his freedom to Dhritarashtra so that he would divide the kingdom and give one half to the Pandavas.

33) I’m so glad they showed made Arjun wearing white canon in this show. Sometimes I love Starbharat so fucking much. To be fair, I realised that even BR Chopra Mahabharat made Arjun wear white. But they took away his real name, something I can never forgive.

34) Dhritarashtra gave Yudhisthira 1 lakh cows. Score.

35) Dhritarashtra keeping Kunti captive as insurance is some A+ politicking. Shakuni is like, I’ve taught you well, Jijaji.

36) “Ek rajya de kar, Tatshri ne bohut kuch cheen liya.” Arjun. My boy. My man.

37) Bhishma: one day your city will be the capital of all of Aryavarta 😭😭 He was right!

38) Shakuni is suggesting they cuckold Yudhisthira but with a capital city?

39) Finally the Gandiva has come out. About time, Arjun. Wait, this is not the Gandiva. Nevermind.

40) Just when I’m about to lose hope, Yudhisthira comes out and shows he has brains.

41) Arjun, it’s time to meet your bio dad.

42) Takshak is also a dramatic little bitch.

43) Indra. Is. So. Extra. What is with all this lightning? Now I understand Arjun a little better.

44) Fairly certain it was Arjun AND Krishna that burnt down Khandavprastha together, thereby starting the massive deforestation process in India. But Starbharat has a way of excluding Krishna from key moments in the Pandava’s life. But not Draupadi’s.

45) Daddy is here!

46) And Arjun is so happy to see him for the first time!

47) But daddy is calling him Pandav putra :/

48) Indra: you are a boy! Arjun: I am your boy! 😍

49) Seriously though, why is Arjun such a suck up.

50) Indra (and also the rest of the world): Arjun! Stop trying to act cute!

51) The gods in heaven munching popcorn as they watch the Olympic Games between Indra and his son.

52) Oh my god the Sudarshan Chakra is here!

53) Indra is like I have PTSD from this Chakra and the person who wields it.

54) Arjun can barely contain his glee now that his bff is back.

55) Okay, I was wrong. Krishna is here.

56) Indra is like dis bitch.

57) Erm, did Arjun consult the other five before naming the capital Indraprastha?

58) Gandiva is also here!

59) Vrushali is trying to go back to Indraprastha like the girl who went out for a smoke and Karna is now the bouncer of the nightclub who won’t let her back in.

60) Kunti is here. What a boss ass bitch. Now Hastinapur will get to experience all her badassery.

61) Kunti calling Karna out on his envy of a royal crown. This is the shit I live for. Lalsa =\= kartavya.

62) Dushasan is like Kunti will run Hastinapur the way her sons order her to. Like, bro, it’s the way around.

63) Karna’s obsession with Arjun is a little...unsettling.

64) Of course with his back to the wall, Duryodhana has to play the caste card.

65) Sometimes Duryodhana and Dushasan do something so horror-movie horrifying that even Shakuni flinches and stops to take a breath. Think about Jesus.

66) Does Karna on some level know Kunti is his bio mom or does he just like to act all extra around her?

67) Kunti telling Karna that her sons have to establish themselves as independent before she can visit them. Yas, queen! She’s literally the embodiment of every helicopter Asian mom that hauled their mediocre son’s ass to greatness.

68) Oh dear, Bhim is pissed. Wait, why is Krishna STILL HERE?

69) “Spasht kahiye, Madhav.” Oh Arjun, my sweet, sweet, summer child. This is the first in a lifetime of Krishna speaking to you in riddles. My suggestion is you get on board, otherwise he’ll have to write a whole book to explain to you what is going on.

70) “Main spasht kaise keh sakta hoon, Parth?” What did I JUST SAY.

71) Is Karna…flirting?

72) Oh no, four junior Pandavas have reached Hastinapura. Hold up, Krishna is here too? Seriously, what is his issue? This is not even his business! Also, why is he always sitting in a chariot. Does he not know how to ride a horse?

73) If I had a penny for every time Karna says, “dhanush uthao, Arjun,” I would be as rich as the Kurus.

74) I am so glad Krishna has a resting bitch face.

75) Glad to see that Arjun and Krishna are now in the communicating with only glances, no words, point in their relationship.

76) Every time Krishna sees a single woman, his little matchmaker heart starts fluttering, I swear to God.

77) Of course, he knows Vrushali’s name even though no one ever mentioned it.

78) Krishna is here to outfeminist Arjun and I love it.

79) Why was the Gandiva in Draupadi’s room to begin with? This is what happens when you don’t pack properly.

80) I see Yudhishthira has already started with his chausar ways.

81) Now Draupadi is extra sad because her fav has to be in exile.

82) I mean. I feel like. Yudhisthira could have suggested once that Arjun not go for exile. But no, he is going to be all Ram Chandra about this.

83) Krishna is like, after all this, you have to…*check notes*…marry my sister.

#mahbharata #starbharat #siwt #starbharat recap #imma tag all these now

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tayegi · 5 years

Text

Curiosity (m)

Belated gift for Taehyung’s bday. Written because TaeTae’s a sly little kid who would totally try to pull this shit irl.

Warning: smut

Word Count: 5,164

Hey, ___. This reddit post says that a vagina feels like the inside of your cheek. Is that true?" Taehyung casually asks in the midst of your study session.

You spit out your drink all over yourself in surprise, "Wh-what?!"

The redhead casually looks up from the textbook sprawled across his lap, "The inside of your cheek. You know, here," he hooks a finger inside his mouth to demonstrate.

Your face heats at his extremely tactile demonstration, "I know what that means, you idiot! I just—I don't know what you're asking me this!"

"Why not?" he asks with a blank look on his face, "As someone who has a vagina, shouldn't you know best?"

"I—I," you splutter, embarrassed beyond belief, "I don't know, okay? I've never thought about it!"

"Well, then think about it," he snorts, "Is it true?"

Self-conscious, you turn away from him before carefully sticking a finger into your mouth to prod at the inside of your cheek. Sure enough, the warm, moist flesh feels familiar, but there's something missing… "It's close, but not the same," you say as you remove your finger from your mouth.

"Really?" Taehyung says, eyebrows raising with interest, "How so?"

"I dunno," you mumble as you poke your tongue in your cheek with a frown, "It's just… not as soft, I guess?"

Taehyung's eyes widen in a way that makes you flustered, "What? So it's even better than that?!"

"Oh god, Tae… Why are you asking me this?" you groan as you throw an arm over your eyes, "Can't you just fuck a girl and figure it out for yourself?!"

"I want to," he sighs deeply, "But it never works out! Girls just don't like me, I guess."

You gape in disbelief at his ridiculous statement, "Don't be stupid. Look at your face!"

He strokes his jaw with a grin, "It is pretty nice, isn't it?"

"Yeah, dumbass. Just flash that pretty little face of yours at anything in a skirt, and I guarantee you that that skirt's dropping in a millisecond."

"Hey, ___. Aren't you wearing a skirt right now…?" He asks, his tone thick with insinuation.

You pause for a moment to think through your words before responding, "Don't you start again…"

He sighs deeply and sets down his book to flop onto the bed, "I'm just so curious!" he groans, voice muffled by the pillows, "This is everything I've fantasized about since the moment I hit puberty! Now that I'm in my twenties, I'm fucking dying of curiosity!"

You put down your book as well to stare at him. With his lean, tan skin and perfectly symmetrical features, Kim Taehyung is without doubt the most handsome man you've ever laid eyes on. How is it possible that he's such a stir-crazy virgin at his age?

"Alright," you say with a sigh, "Let's go."

Taehyung peeks from the mountain of blankets covering him with interest, "You'll let me finger you then?"

"What?! No!" you screech, whole body recoiling with shock.

He chuckles in response, "You're gonna wake up the neighbors, babe."

"Ugh! How can you even think that? I was just saying that we should go to a bar and pick up a girl or something! Geez!"

Taehyung huffs with disappointment, "Why bother when I have a girl in my room right here?"

You rub your suddenly aching temples, "Taehyung… Will you please explain to me the sudden interest in getting in my pants?"

"Because I'm horny and curious!" he groans, rolling around in the bed like a little boy throwing a tantrum, "How can I even fantasize and jerk off properly when I don't know what a woman's body feels like?"

"Well, I can try to describe it to you, if you'd like," you offer, trying to resist the urge to laugh. He just looks so silly throwing a fit like that.

"Sure," he says in a dejected tone.

"It's really not that abstract of a concept," you begin, "It's just warm… and tight… and really really soft. Especially if you get a girl wet enough. Then it's super slick and fluid. And not quite like a mouth. Cum is a million times wetter than saliva. That's why it's nature's lube, after all."

Taehyung stares at you from the bed with dark eyes, "Oh… That sounds…" he licks his lips, "Good."

You resist the urge to shiver at the way he voices that word. "Yeah," you absentmindedly agree, "It is… well, granted I don't have a dick to feel how good it is, but I can only imagine…"

"Fuck," Taehyung curses as he beats his fist in frustration. And is it only your imagination or do his hips roll against the mattress for a split second…? "God, that sounds hot. I want that so fucking bad. All I've ever had is my dry ass hand… Just one time. I'm dying to feel it just once."

Your mouth grows dry and you lick your lips for moisture, "Should we make you a tinder?"

"___..." he murmurs your name as he slowly rolls over on the bed to face you, "Baby…"

With his hooded dark eyes and his fiery hair falling into his eyes, he looks like a demon incarnated. You're tempted like Eve before the lure of the apple, but somehow, you manage to resist, "I'm not taking your virginity, Tae, so you can just forget about it."

"I'm not asking you to. I just want you to sit on my dick once, okay? That's it."

"How is that not taking your virginity then?" you ask, suspicious.

"I don't consider that to be real sex," he says with a snort, "You wouldn't consider one stroke a handjob, would you? Same logic applies here."

Still, you chew your bottom lip, indecisive, "I don't know, Tae…"

"You told me once that you were attracted to me."

You flush at the memory, cursing your alcohol-addled brain for that one moment of weakness last semester, "Yes, but we're just friends. I don't want to change anything."

"Nothing will change between us," Taehyung insists, "We've done way weirder things together… Remember when I held you off the balcony as you peed during Jin's New Year's Eve party last year?"

Your lips twitch at the reminder, "I really didn't think you'd be strong enough to Simba me like that!"

"Yeah, but I did. And we're still friends after that! So I don't see how one tiny little stroke of your pussy is going to change anything."

You stare at him, "Taehyung… Are you actually serious about this?"

He stares back unblinkingly, "Dead serious."

Neither of you say anything for a period of time as you gravely consider one anything. Taehyung's gaze is steely and more focused than you've ever seen it. Finally, the moment is broken when you break eye contact with an exasperated sigh, "Fine. Let's do it."

Taehyung's eyes light up and he instantly bounds upright in bed, "Really?! ___, you are the best!"

Then, before you can react, he suddenly rushes over to practically tackle you to the floor. "Oomph!" you grunt as the air is quite literally knocked from your lungs, "Get off of me, you oaf!"

But he simply laughs and covers your face in kisses, "Thank you, thank you, thank you!" he chants, "You are the best!"

"You're only getting one stroke, and that's it, okay?" you pull back to wag a finger in his face in a threatening manner, "If you try to fuck me, I swear to god, Kim Taehyung…"

"I won't," he promises, "I know you think of me as a stupid kid with no self-control. But I'm really not like that anymore!"

"Whatever you say," you roll your eyes, "But if you try anything, I won't hesitate to punch you in the face."

"Sounds good to me," he says as he affectionately rubs his face against your neck like a cat, "Now can we get started or what?"

"God, you're so impatient," you groan as you manage to pull him off of you with no shortage of difficulty. "Just lie down on the bed so we can get this over with."

"Okay!" he chimes in a singsong voice as he cheerfully obeys. "Like this?" he asks as he hauls himself against the headboards.

"Yeah. That's fine," you say, but hesitate at the foot of the bed, suddenly filled with dread.

"Whatcha waiting for?" Taehyung cocks his head to the side, "Come here and take a seat on my lap," he says, patting his thigh for emphasis.

"Oh god, this is probably a huge mistake," you groan as you slowly do as you're told, gingerly climbing onto the bed and swinging your legs on either side of his hips.

"Nonsense!" he happily says, "We can only get closer after this! Now, should we make out a bit first or-?"

A hand slapped over his mouth stops him in his tracks, "Taehyung." You growl in a warning tone.

He chuckles against your palm, "Sorry," he mumbles in a muffled tone.

You roll your eyes as you slowly remove your hand, "Ok, get yourself hard so we can get this over with."

"I'm already hard."

"…what?"

He at least has the tact to look embarrassed, "I'm excited, okay? My penis has been waiting for this for the last decade or so! How can I not be prepared?!"

"Ugh, gross."

"It's natural and beautiful!" he insists.

"Ew, whatever. Just hurry up and whip it out already."

"Wait," he says, stopping you with a hand on your wrist before you can grab for him, "I know I'm inexperienced, but don't we have to prepare you or something first? Are you wet enough?"

"Hmm… let me check," you say, sliding a hand under your skirt to fumble along the crotch of your underwear, "Ah, good thinking. I'm not quite there yet… Give me a minute or two."

It's a bit awkward touching yourself with Taehyung staring at you with huge, starstruck eyes, but there's something strangely sensual about the unabashed hunger in his gaze. Quicker than you could've imagined, you're suddenly aroused enough to touch yourself directly, without the barrier of your underwear to shield you from your sensitive flesh. Your mouth hangs open in a silent moan as you circle your clit before sliding your fingers inside of you.

Taehyung licks his lips as he stares at the tantalizing motions of your hand under your skirt. "___..." he whispers in a hoarse voice, "Can I do that for you?"

You pause at his bold request. But what'd you expect from meddlesome little Kim Taehyung? You exhale slowly through your nose. This probably isn't a good idea… But his hands are so beautiful that they take your breath away. From even where they casually rest on top of the sheets, they look like pure artistry; long, thin musician fingers with large palms that would feel so good on your body.

You sigh again, "Fine. But be gentle, okay? I don't want you to squash the life out of me. I've had enough of that clumsy groping in high school!"

Taehyung gives you a look, "I might be a virgin, but I'm not an idiot, ___. I can be gentle."

"Alright… But if you poke me, I'll be too sore to sit on your dick," you warn him.

His eyes widen in horror, "Oh god, okay. I'll do my best."

You smirk to yourself at his sudden obedience, even as you grab his hand to bring it under your skirt. Slowly, you move your underwear to the side so that his fingers brush against your heat.

Taehyung flinches in surprise, "Oh… This is… weird."

Your lips quirk at his reaction, "Not really what you expected? It's just like a mound of weird, fleshy meat, huh?"

"Kinda… but not really… You're so soft… and warm. Wow." After a few seconds of guidance from you, Taehyung's hand begins to move of its own accord, and you nearly jump out of your skin as his fingers accidentally brush against your clit. He retreats his hand at once, "Shit, did I hurt you?"

You soften at the look of concern on his face, "No, not at all," you reassure him, "It's just that you touched my clit."

"…Oh?"

"And it felt really good."

"Oh." Realization floods his face, and he jumps to repeat the motion over and over.

You close your eyes for a second, relishing the sensation of his fingers rubbing surprisingly nimble circles around your clit, before you quickly snap back into action. "Th-that's enough," you mutter, biting back a moan when an experimental pinch of your clit between his fingers has your stomach flipping with pleasure. "I should be wet enough. You can finger me now."

Taehyung looks lost for a moment, "I… I… don't really know how…"

The blush that suffuses his cheeks is so adorable that you forgo the teasing for once. "Let me demonstrate," you say, reaching under your skirt to grab his fingers again. This time, you only take his index finger and slowly drag it over to your entrance.

The redhead swallows hard as he feels your wet heat. "___..." he murmurs your name.

You smile at him in response, "Go slow, okay? Don't shove it all in at once. That hurts."

"O-okay," he stammers. Then, taking a deep breath, he follows your instructions.

With the first prod of his finger, he can't enter you. Bewildered, he looks at you for guidance, but you simply laugh, "It's okay, Tae. Use a bit more force."

He nods his understanding before doing as you instruct. "O-oh," he gasps as he finally breaks through the barrier and meets the molten hot interior that instantly sucks him in. "Oh my fucking god…"

You bite your bottom lip to keep from laughing at the expression on his face, "How does it feel, Tae?"

"Reddit lied," he growls, "This feels nothing like the inside of a cheek… This feels so… hot… and soft… and tight."

Your pussy clenches at the way he practically moans the last word and Taehyung's eyes widen at the sudden suctioning feeling around his finger.

"Fuck, how are you so tight?! There is no way my dick will fit inside of you."

"There's only one way to find out," you say with a wink as you tug on his wrist to pull his finger out of you. "Lie down on your back, baby."

"Wait, but I wasn't done preparing you," he says, alarmed, "I barely even fingered you!"

The look of concern on his face is so endearing that you can't resist swooping down to plant a kiss on his nose, "I'm ready, Tae. Don't worry."

"What?" he frowns, "Really?"

"Yeah, can't you tell how wet I am?" You ask as you pull his hand up to his face.

Taehyung's eyes grow round as he takes in the sticky fluid that covers his index finger. "Oh…" he tentatively gives his finger a lick, "Hmm…"

Heat fills your face at the erotic gesture, "It's more of an acquired taste," you defend yourself.

But he cocks his head to the side in confusion, "What are you talking about, ___? You taste delicious."

At that, all the heat in your face abruptly trickles down to fill the pit of your stomach instead. If you weren't sure before, then there's no doubt in your mind now that you are undeniably aroused. You take a deep breath to clear your mind, then smile down at him.

"I'm clean and on the pill, but we can still use a condom if you'd like."

"No," he says at once, "Let's not."

You resist the urge to roll your eyes at that. What a typical man. "Okay," you say as you push him flat against the pillows before climbing up to straddle him, "Last chance to back out, Taehyung. I promise I won't judge you."

"Are you serious? Fuck no. I'll die if I have to wait another second!"

His enthusiasm is surprisingly endearing. You shake your head at his cuteness before ducking down to kiss his cheek, "You're going to have an instinctual urge to thrust once I put you in," you warn him as you reach down to undo his belt and zipper, "No matter what, you've gotta resist that urge, okay? Or else I'll kick your ass."

"G-got it," he says, voice trembling slightly when your hands brush against his bulge.

You take a second to tease him with little strokes over the fabric of his underwear, thoroughly enjoying the way he shakes and groans, before you slip your thumbs under the waistband to free his erection, "Now, don't forget that you only get one stroke, okay? I'm only sitting down once, then pulling off, and that's it. So don't you even think about—what the fuck?!" you gasp, lecture instantly forgotten when his bare erection pops into view.

Taehyung self-consciously stares down at his naked length, "Wh-what? Is there something wrong?"

But you can't respond for a second, staring at his dick with your jaw hanging. "I… I—Kim Taehyung, why the fuck didn't you warn me that you were hung like a fucking horse?!"

He sheepishly rubs the back of his neck, "I told you it wouldn't fit."

"You know, there are girls who would lose their fucking minds trying to get at a monster dick like this," you absentmindedly comment as you attempt to curl your fingers around his length. You're dismayed to find that your fingers can barely touch.

Taehyung's breath hitches, "God, I hope you're one of those girls…"

You chuckle softly as you give him an experimental stroke. Taehyung doubles over at the contact as though he's been punches in the stomach. "Jesus," he wheezes.

"What's wrong, TaeTae?" You ask him innocently, even as you begin to jerk him off, picking up the leaking precum at the head of his cock to rub all over his length.

The redhead throws his head back with a deep groan, "Fuck… if you keep doing that, you're gonna make me cum before I get to feel your pussy."

"Virgins are so cute," you giggle, before slowing your pace until you're only skimming his length with the tips of your fingers, "Has anyone touched you before?"

"A few times," he admits, "But mostly at parties, when I was drunk off my ass and couldn't feel or remember anything. Nothing like this."

You hum in response, admiring the way his dick twitches in your hand, as though trying to jump closer to your touch, "Is this what you expected?"

"Not at all," he says at once, "I've tried everything before… Jerking off with my left hand, sitting on my hand until I lost all feeling in it, but nothing compares to this… Fuck, you're barely touching me right now, but why does it feel so fucking good?"

His voice pitches at the end of his sentence, making your core clench with need. "Somehow, I feel like I've corrupted your innocence," you sigh as you drop his cock, making his eyes shoot open with shock.

"Ah, ___," he whines, "Don't stop. Come on, babe. I'm so fucking horny I could die."

"You're such a greedy, spoiled little kid," you lightly scold him as you rise to your knees to hook your now thoroughly soaked underwear to the side and position yourself, "Wouldn't you rather have my pussy?"

Realization dawns on his face. "Yes, please!" He chimes, eagerly bobbing his head up and down.

"You're just lucky that you're so cute," you say as you wrap a hand to keep him steady as you press his head against your entrance. "Now do you want me to go slow or sit down all in one go?"

Taehyung is on the verge of hyperventilating as he stares at you with eyes popping out of his skull. "Hngg, I… I dunno… ___, there's no way I'm gonna fit."

You shush him with a finger pressed against his lips, "Your monster dick is impressive, I'll give you that. But I'm tougher than you think. So do you want it slow or—?"

"Slow," he says at once, "I want to remember every detail."

Your lips twitch, "For that spank bank material, huh?"

He flashes you a boxy smile, "You know me too well."

"That, I do," you snicker, "Now sit still and let me satisfy your curiosity, okay?"

Taehyung eagerly nods, lip caught between his teeth as he watches your every move with hawk-like eyes, "You can stop at any time," he tells you, "I don't want to hurt you."

His concern is silly, but undeniably sweet, and you swoop down to give him another kiss, this time on the corner of his mouth. "If you continue to be so nice to me, I might be tempted to spoil you," you warn him as you rub the swollen red head of his cock against your folds.

Taehyung's breathing stutters when it catches against your entrance. "I… I don't think that'd be a bad thing."

Your next kiss lands directly on his lips, making him jerk with surprise. But you push him down with a hand flat against his chest when he attempts to rise for another taste. "Don't you dare thrust."

"I won't," he promises, teeth digging into his bottom lip as you continue to rub his sensitive tip against your soft, wet folds. But you never allow him inside, simply allowing your wetness to soak him, tempting him with your heat until Taehyung feels frustrated enough to cry. And only then do you begin to push him in.

At first, you meet resistance, but when you take a breath to force yourself to relax, you're able slide the head of his cock in… And then, feeling particularly sadistic, you pause to assess his reaction.

He does not disappoint.

"Ah, ___!" he yelps your name, hand shooting up to dig into your thigh, "Why did you stop?"

"I just wanted to check and make sure that you're okay," you lie through your teeth, "How does it feel?"

"Good," he says at once, teeth clenched to hold back a moan, "So good, fuck. I can't believe how soft you are. It's like fucking velvet, but so much smoother, and tight and—ugh, fuck!"

At his explicit description, you can't help but involuntarily tighten over him, making him cry out in pleasure. "I told you Reddit was wrong," you inform him, flinching slightly when his blunt nails dig into your skin hard enough to leave marks.

"Fuck, ___. Please don't stop."

He's shaking so hard underneath you that the bed is practically vibrating. Sweat has soaked through his thin shirt, plastering it to his chest like a second skin. You've barely done anything and his self-control is already hanging by a thread. It's so unexpectedly sexy that your stomach clenches.

"Alright," you say, leaning down to give him another kiss that he barely registers, all his attention focused like a laser on the wet heat enveloping his cock. You affectionately brush his sweaty red hair off of his forehead before slowly lowering yourself down another inch, wincing slightly as his thick cock tears you open.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," Taehyung chants over and over as you swirl your hips to allow him to feel every inch of you. Your slow pace is excruciating, making your thighs scream with pain, but it's worth it for the way it makes Taehyung tense up like he's on the verge of bursting out of his own skin.

You're about halfway down when a sudden cramp makes you pause with a wince. "Ah, Tae, why are you so fucking big?" you say with a breathless laugh, "I'm going to be so sore in the morning."

He gnaws his lip, clearly torn between allowing you offering you respite like a gentleman and shoving you all the way down. Instead, he settles for a compromise, "I-I'm sorry, ___," he murmurs as he massages your thigh with his large hands, "I know it hurts, but can you try to take a little more? Please?"

The slight tremor in his voice gives away his thinly veiled desperation, no matter how he tries to play it cool. You sigh deeply, feigning reluctance, "Alright… But only because you asked nicely," you say as you sink down another inch or two.

Taehyung whimpers in response, unable to formulate coherent sentences as he scrunches his eyes shut and concentrates on not cumming too early, "Fuck."

"I'm almost there," you warn him, pressing hard against his chest to keep him still, "I know that every instinct in your body is probably screaming at you to thrust, huh?"

"Y-yes," he moans, "Like you wouldn't believe."

Your insides warm at the choked-up quality of his voice. For a moment, you're almost tempted to allow him to have his way with you. But a promise is a promise. And you can't let Taehyung go around thinking that he can get away with everything with that cute little face of his. He has to learn some discipline. And who better than you to teach him?

"Alright, I'm going to sit down now… Whatever you do, do NOT move, okay?"

He can only whine in response, "I-I'll try. Fuck, this is so good."

You smile to yourself as you slowly sink down to stretch over the last inch of him, until you're fully seated on his thighs. Then you pause for a breath, taking the moment to drink in his expression. His tan skin is flushed red, neck veins straining with exertion, and sweat soaking his shirt in dark patches. His thick cock already feels great stretching you out like this, but you know it's a million times better for him. This little virgin has never felt anything but his own hand before, and nothing like the wet, tight, burning hot velvet of your pussy. No wonder he looks like he's about to lose his fucking mind and explode out of his skin from a single, measly stroke. You're almost curious about how he'd react if you fucked him properly…

"Okay, that's enough. I'm gonna—"

"Wait!" Taehyung panicks, grabbing you by the hips hard enough to bruise when you try to lift off of him.

Your blood runs cold at the strength you feel in his grip. He's underneath you right now, seemingly at your mercy. But this sudden display of brute strength makes you realize how wrong you are. At any second, he could flip over to slam you on your back, holding you down, no matter how you struggle, with minimal effort. He might look delicate and weak, but that couldn't be further from the truth. Out of curiosity, you trail a hand over the arms caged around your waist, and your mouth fills with saliva at the bulging, steely muscle you find there. It's so unexpectedly sexy that a trickle of arousal slides out of you as your core involuntarily flexes around him again.

Taehyung throws his head back with a deep, guttural moan that sends chills down your spine. "This feels too fucking good. I can't even believe how good this feels. I would do anything you wanted if you let me fuck you."

Concerned by his statement, you glance down at him, then flinch in surprise when you find him already staring at you, his eyes so dark with hunger that you're surprised he hasn't already devoured you whole. Every single muscle in his body is tensed, with veins bulging in his arms and the back of his hands. You can't imagine how much self-control it's taking him to remain still. All you know is that the pain can't be short of excruciating.

You tear your gaze away from his tortured expression, fully aware that the more you look at him, the more tempted you'll be to give in.

"This is not what we agreed on," you gently remind him as you begin to lift off of him.

A whimper of utter despair pulls from the back of his throat as he feels the warmth recede from his length. For a moment, you're terrified that he might shove you back down on his length. The bruising grip on your waist certainly makes that a possibility. But to your utmost relief (and slight disappointment), he allows you to retreat.

Feeling the strange desire to reward him for his good behavior, you allow him one last squeeze of your pussy around just his sensitive, leaking head, before you pull off entirely. At once, you feel uncomfortably empty, like your pussy is caving in on itself, but Taehyung is on the brink of tears.

"Fuck, I should not have asked you to do that," he growls as he impatiently wraps his hand around his painfully hard erection.

Your mouth hangs open at the sight of him jerking off so boldly in front of you. "T-tae," you gasp as you fumble off of the bed, "What are you…?"

"It's like opening Pandora's box," he continues, undeterred, "I shouldn't have been so damn nosy. I can never go back to how things were before now that I know how good it is."

You watch him angrily stroke himself with round eyes. Only Kim Taehyung can be confident enough to masturbate in front of another person with no shame whatsoever. You lick your lips and force yourself to look at his face instead, "Well, you know what they say: curiosity killed the cat."

"But satisfaction brought it back," he adds, eyes as dark as coals as he stares at you unblinkingly.

You swallow tightly and drop your gaze to the floor, feeling uncommonly flustered, "I guess we'll have to make you a tinder then?" you joke, trying to laugh it off, "Now that you know how good pussy is, I imagine you're gonna want the real thing."

"What are you talking about?" he snorts, "You really think it's just pussy that's got me going?"

Your eyes snap up to meet his in surprise, "Wh-what?"

He scoffs again, "It's not just pussy, but your pussy. Now that I've got a taste of how good sex with you could be, do you really think I can go without?"

Your mouth goes dry as you gape at him like a fish out of water. Could he really be saying what you think he's saying…? "I… I don't know what to say."

"You can't honestly be surprised," he laughs, "You must've known how badly I've wanted you since day one."

You lick your dry lips as you try to collect your wits and approach this logically. But all you can think about is how good he looks propped up against the headboards with his hand wrapped around his thick red cock.

"Ah, fuck it," you growl as you abruptly rip your shirt off, "I guess I'm taking your virginity tonight after all, you little punk."

Taehyung beams so brightly, it hurts to look at him directly. "Thank you, reddit!"

A/N: Please don’t ask about sequels! Thanks so much :)

#taehyung smut #bts smut #taehyung fanfic #taehyung #bts fanfic #v smut #for some reason whenever im stressed with finals i write pwp like this lol #like stress relief #good times #curiosity

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