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mrsshabana · 9 months

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Patient!Gyutaro x Nurse!Reader - CHAPTER 2

Chapter 1

✦ CW: 18+ MDNI, female reader. Dead dove: do not eat. Non-con, smut, violence, manipulation, mentions of mental illness. ✦ AN: This chapter has disturbing scenes with graphic violence and non-consensual sex. Please read all of the content warnings before continuing.

✦ WC: 1,808

“Good morning Mr.Shabana,” you chime, smiling brightly, bringing a tray with his breakfast into the room.

He stares at you as if he’s seen a ghost, eyes wide, skin pale, breathing at a halt.

“What’s wrong? Are you feeling alright?” you ask as you set his food down on the table.

“I-It’s nothin’...”

“Well, I’ll see you in a few hours Mr.Shabana, feel free to call for me if you need anything in the meantime,” shooting him another kind smile before you exit the room.

His stare drills holes into your back as he watches you leave. He hasn’t felt this annoyed by a new nurse in years. Could it be that you are mocking him?

Pushing his food to the side, he clenches his teeth in frustration. He thought he got rid of you for good. You’re the first nurse that has stayed after he pulled that antic. It always works. But why didn’t it work on you?

He’ll have to come up with another way to get rid of you.

After the first day with Gyutaro, you vowed to do everything in your power to help him heal his physical and mental wounds. Making sure to be kind, considerate, and paying close attention to his needs. The next few days have been surprisingly pleasant. No outbursts or insults coming from him like they once had before. He still doesn’t talk to you, hell he barely even acknowledges you. But it’s better than being assaulted every time you enter his room.

Though you still get that gut feeling that you're in danger every time you are around him. Your hair stands on end and your hands get sweaty. But for the sake of doing your job, you ignore the warnings from your body.

And it seems your persistence is paying off. As your keen eye quickly picked up on some of Gyutaro’s behavior. He only eats pre-packaged food. Why? You have no idea. Might be from some past trauma… maybe you’ll look back into his therapy notes later.

But it’s quite odd. Every time you bring him his meals, he only eats the pre-packaged foods included in his meal. Usually things like cookies and muffins. He can’t be getting more than 500 calories a day.

So, you start going out of your way to buy healthier pre-packaged foods for him. Things like canned tuna, beans, and sometimes potato chips from the vending machine. He’ll only eat it if you give it to him unopened. You want to ask him why he eats like this, but you figure he most likely won’t answer. Plus you don’t want to risk setting him off again.

Your kindness really pisses him off. But he doesn’t hate when you bring him things he’s actually willing to eat. Surprisingly, he doesn’t think much of it. He’s not impressed that you figured out a way to get him to eat, because to him there was no trick. He wasn’t trying to be difficult. It’s just how he is. He won’t eat certain things and he has specific reasons for doing so. However, he isn’t grateful either. He could care less if he starved to death. But it is nice having a full stomach for once. He’s finally starting to feel a bit better, as his strength begins to return. Though, you may soon regret it.

.・゜゜・　♰　・゜゜・．

“Mr. Shabana, are you ready?” You knock on his door and peek inside to see him sitting on the edge of his bed.

“Mm hm,” he nods and stands. His lanky frame towering above you as he follows you out of the room.

Today is Gyutaro’s hydrotherapy session, recommended to be given once every two weeks by his doctor.

And since Gyutaro has been deemed to be a danger to himself, he must be supervised during the session.

You can feel him staring at you as he follows you to the sauna room. You swear his gaze is so spiteful that it causes you physical pain. Every part of your body is screaming at you as you unlock the door and open it for him. But surely you’re just overreacting right? It’s been over a week now with no incident at all. You finally feel as though you are making progress with him, and you aren’t willing to let go of that progress just because of a gut instinct.

“Alright, remove your clothes and I’ll start the bath,” you say as you walk over to the hydrotherapy tub.

He doesn’t respond, but you hear shuffling behind you. Assuming that he’s getting himself ready, you get on your knees and adjust the temperature of the bath. Watching as the water slowly rises and steam fills the room.

Dipping a finger into the water to check the temperature, it feels pleasantly hot.

“There we go,” you smile, “Your bath is ready Mr.Sha-” You begin to turn around but in the blink of an eye your face is engulfed in heat. It all happens so fast, you don’t register what’s going on.

All you know is you can’t breathe, and it’s too hot.

Holding on to the edge of the tub, you try to push yourself up and out of the water. But a strong grip on your neck is preventing you from doing so.

You finally begin to realize the gravity of the situation when you feel Gyutaro’s body pressed up against you. He keeps his hand firmly grasped around the back of your neck, holding your head under the water. And with his other hand he roughly lifts up your skirt and pulls down your panties.

“Stop strugglin’ or else I’ll break your fuckin’ neck,” Gyutaro growls under his breath.

Not only does he hate you because he finds your kindness incredibly annoying, but he also hates you because of how horny you make him. Seeing you in that short skirt every damn day. He gets hard every time you enter his room, and his throbbing cock becomes so persistent that he has to jerk himself off or else he’ll be in a bad mood the entire day.

How dare you tease him like this. Well he’ll show you.

He’ll get to kill two birds with one stone. Satisfying the aching in his pants, and getting rid of you for good. There’s no way you’ll stay after this.

Cackling, he pumps his cock a few times, readying himself at your entrance.

“This is what you get for always teasin’ me…” he grunts as he forcefully shoves his cock inside of you. It takes a few thrusts to bully himself fully inside, as you aren’t wet at all.

You feel like you’re being ripped in half, it stings and burns as he forces his thick cock into your tight hole.

Water fills your mouth as you scream under the water. You panic, and use all of the strength you have left flailing your arms behind you, trying to push him away. But he’s too strong, and he’s between your legs so you can't kick him either.

“Stop it, slut” he shouts, punctuating each word with a hard thrust.

After a few thrusts, you start to get a little wet. Not enough to make this comfortable for you, but enough that he’s able to plunge easier into you.

Having been in an Asylum for so long, he’s never had the pleasure of sex before. And even though it’s something he’s fantasized about many times, he never could have imagined how good it’d feel. The way your pussy tightly clenches around him, he feels like he’s already getting close.

Your face begins to lose color, and you stop struggling. The abuse on your pussy is dulled by the pounding in your skull.

Gyutaro notices you’re beginning to lose consciousness. He really doesn’t care about you but if you died now, he’d never be able to fuck you again. And he’s already getting addicted to the feeling of being inside of you… it’d be such a shame if this was the only time he’d be able to use you.

He reluctantly pulls out of you, grabbing you by the hair and pulling your head out of the water.

Instantly you cough up a bunch of water and gasp for air. A devilish grin spreads across his face as he watches you struggle to breathe.

Water and saliva drips down your chin as you open your watery eyes. Your vision is blurry but you can make out his erect cock throbbing in front of you. No wonder it hurt so much, not only is he long but quite girthy as well. Decorated with black spots and large veins, there’s a ring of blood at its base.

He grabs your chin and forces you to look up at him, “Well since you so kindly opened your mouth for me…” he grabs the base of his cock and forces you to take him into your mouth, “Might as well put it to good use.”

You cough and choke as he thrusts into your mouth, his leaking tip ramming against the back of your throat. Digging your nails into his thighs, trying to push him away to no avail.

You hate to admit it, but you much rather have him abusing your throat than your pussy. But it doesn’t help that you’re still struggling to gasp for oxygen. Your lungs burn but you try your best to calm down and breath through your nose while you endure the torture.

It doesn’t take long before you feel his cock twitch and his thrusts get sloppy. Just wanting this to be over as quickly as possible, you suck as fervently as you can. Twirling your tongue around his tip, taking him as deep as you can.

“F-fuck…” he moans, cock twitching as he coats your throat in hot sticky cum. He tightly grips your hair as he rides out his high.

Tears roll down your cheeks as you swallow his cum, not daring to look up at him. It tastes foul, salty, and bitter. It’s thick as it slowly slides down your throat.

He hisses as he pulls out of your mouth. A long string of saliva connecting from your swollen lips to the tip of his cock.

He stands up and looks down at you. Grinning as a deep chuckle rumbles in his chest. You can’t help but cry under his gaze, feeling completely humiliated and ruined. So disgusted with your own body that you don’t even feel like yourself anymore.

“Pathetic whore,” he spits, his saliva landing on your cheek. Grinning in satisfaction as he pulls up his pants and puts his shirt back on.

Without another word he walks out of the room, the heavy metal doors slamming behind him. Leaving you gasping for air on the floor, sore and bleeding from his abuse.

Taglist: @gyusimp @sterzin @sassysaxsolo @gh0stedddd @cry-baby-stuff @hutchilli [If you asked to be added to the taglist and weren't, it may be because your tag didn't work when I searched for it. Or because you don't have your age listed on your blog]

#gyutaro #gyutaro shabana #gyutaro x reader #gyutaro x y/n #gyutaro smut #kny smut #demon slayer smut #nurse au #dead dove do not eat #smut

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yellowhollyhock · 2 months

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because I'm the shield

I was trying to write a little scene between rise Raph and Mikey since his overprotectiveness is something they've argued about. But that's turning out slower than I expected and will have to be for another time--maybe will fit a different prompt when it's done, who knows.

I've been rewatching some of 2003 season 4 and having feelings about shield Raph.

Fight scenes do show a lot of him throwing himself between his brothers and physical harm. But season 4, with the family relationships strained, highlights something else, which is Raph shielding his brothers from Master Splinter and each other. Especially Leo.

I learned from the tmnt fandom that sai is meant to defend against sword. And that's so fitting for these two.

Raph defending his brothers from Master Splinter mostly looks like being the loudest and most openly rebellious to draw attention away from (honestly mostly Leo and Donnie) blatantly doing what they're not supposed to do (like traveling to an alternate dimension without telling anyone or fighting the Foot alone. Seriously they call him and Mikey the impulsive ones??). And Splinter isn't a danger to the turtles, he is very loving in 03, but his opinion matters to them and Raph makes himself the squeaky wheel so the others can stay squeaky clean.

But about Leo. Two things going on season 4: Raph is (trying to) protect Leo from his own inner thoughts, verbally replying to his anxieties with positives or neutrals; and Raph is on guard to keep Leo off Don and Mikey's case.

I just watched Aliens Among Us and found it especially sweet when they're all on the roof to watch the President how Raph and Leo interact. Leo is upset with Don and Mikey for fooling around, and says out loud that by even coming to watch they 'may as well ask to be dissected.' (Because it's gonna be a Bishop episode so Leo obviously has to foreshadow that. They just had Bad Day, they will not watch as the various enemies their memories pulled from do in fact torment them.) Anyway, it's the way he keeps a pretty calm, almost lighthearted tone while he talks Leo down from his catastraphizing, drawing attention away from his other brothers who were getting yelled at in the process. And this is just an example of how Raph acts this season.

side note, I adore how these two specifically could be talking about their favorite flavor of potato chips and look like they're plotting a murder. This is a picture of Raph getting as close as he can to physically beating up Leo's inner demons.

Another small moment in this episode that I loved: Raph grabbing Leo by the shoulder with, "Whoa, where are you going? Don't you think we need a plan?" and Leo's plan is 'take out every alien we see.' This is not a Leo at the top of his game, in spite of what he told Splinter last episode about 'doing whatever it takes to protect this family.' Raph knows it. He and Leo have different strengths and different approaches, but he knows a healthy Leo would be analyzing the situation, briefing them all on what they should most likely be prepared for and what information they lack that everyone should keep an eye out for. Leo is an analyst, that's one of his greatest strengths. And he's not doing that.

it's literally like 'hey bro are you okay? you've barely picked apart the enemy's battle strategy or lurked in the shadows.' Leo isn't doing the things he loves and Raph notices.

Also speaking of Bad Day. Here's a picture of Raph telling Donny it's not his fault.

Again he looks like he's plotting murder but he is actually speaking in the softest sweetest voice to his stressed out little brother. This is a turtle who just watched his best friends get blown up by people who were looking for him and his family.

That is all ❤️

#tmnt #tmnt 2003 #2003 raph #march for raph

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artbyblastweave · 4 months

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Hey I was wondering since you are very familiar with superhero comics/media and I am not: I remember reading on TVTropes about how there was some comic arc where Superman is basically forced to kill the Joker/does it under extremely understandable circumstances, but then immediately jumps off the slippery slope and becomes a horrible mass murderer. SO, I was wondering if Amy in Worm is a commentary/take on this, on what kind of warped understanding of morality taught by someone's family environment would one have to have to actually believe breaking one's principles once while being forced to by a serial killer would make you into an irredeemable villain forever, and what kind of trauma and warped understanding would you have to have for that to actually be TRUE and for you to actually do horrible things afterward. Emphasizing that that kind of moral arc is not how normal humans work and there would have to be very unusual circumstances for it to happen. But since I don't know about superhero comics I can't really elaborate on this, so I wonder what you think of the idea.

So the specific arc you're talking about was Injustice: Gods Among Us, and the tie-in comics produced as a backstory for that video game- which came out in 2013 onward, so the times don't line up for Amy to be a commentary on that arc specifically. In particular, Superman has basically the exact opposite issue that Amy does; he killed Joker because he murdered an entire city, and he justifies his subsequent slide towards tyranny on the grounds that he wasn't being proactive enough to stop things like that beforehand. Kind of a common refrain in "Superman loses it" stories- refer in particular to the "I did love being a hero. But if this is where it leads, I'm done with it" scene from the Justice Lords arc of the old Justice League cartoon. (Batman is occasionally painted as having a "murder-is-like-potato-chips" problem, refraining from killing because he wouldn't be able to stop. Depends on the writer, though.) What Amy absolutely is commenting on is what I think was a very pervasive idea in cape comics in the years when Worm was being formulated- the idea of the hero/villain binary as a real and meaningful thing, two meaningful categories of people which you can switch between as a discreet and meaningful action. Black Knight, Hawkeye, Rogue- all superheroes who started as supervillains, two distinct statuses which they held. Characters like Deadpool and Harley Quinn start as villains and drift towards a third-position antiheroic middle-ground that's treated as noteworthy for not really falling into either camp- in turn sort of generating what basically amounts to a third cluster, a coherent trinary. (A lot of 90s anti-heroes reifying the binary in how they're marketed as violating it.) Not actually many heroes I can think of who've gone full villain and had that stick, but definitely heroes who've flipped for a time in a meaningful way- Hal Jordan becoming Parallax sticks in my head. And at least since the 80s you've had writers making post-modern gags about powered people who opt out entirely and have day jobs using their powers for something mundane. (The X-Men are all over the place in here.) And subdued but gradually swelling in popularity is where Worm lands- the idea that what you're actually looking at here is a mob of agents, with their own granular agendas, alliances, outlooks, lines in the sand, and relationship to the law-as-written- that when a hero starts acting villainous or a villain does something heroic, when they approach a fifty-fifty split without actually changing their label, it's an indictment of the idea you can actually broadly group them so neatly in the first place. And there's a lot of clunky dialogue in parts of Worm where characters are treating the hero/villain binary as a real tangible thing- "hero behavior, villain behavior-" in a way that seems hilariously naïve and awkward from where I'm sitting in 2023, and indeed was probably kind of a no-duh moment even in 2011. Anti-heroes had been around for a while. But I do think that those sequences were written in conversation with an assumption about the genre that wasn't totally dead in the water at the time, an assumption that Amy holds as a way of showing how treating the categories as innate will drive you nuts when they fail to model reality. I genuinely believe that the MCU and DCEU have killed this binary dead in the general consciousness, though. These days a "superhero" is whoever the protagonist of the movie is, and the idea that that can encompass a whole range of moralities is pretty strongly cemented. A supervillain is whoever fights the star of the movie once and then dies. It's whoever is creating a problem right that second, not a social role you hold for a prolonged period. In this way and some others, Worm hasn't been commenting on the dominant paradigm of superheroism in some time- it's becoming kind of a period piece.

#wildbow #parahumans #worm #worm analysis #meta #thoughts #ask #asks #some comparison to be made to gender by someone I'm sure #not my bailiwick however

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z0-ne · 7 months

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Fish eyes (PLATONIC! Illumi + !Child! Reader)

PART TWO TO THIS HERE

~!warnings!~ This specific chapter contains triggering subjects such as child abuse, starvation, mental abhse, kidnapping, gaslighting, grief, hisoka is his own warning and illumi is NOT a good person in this! HISOKA IS NOT GOOD EITHER DONT LET HIM FOOL YOU

It's been a day... no...more than that its been at least three days. You've been crying for three days on and off, silence engulfing the room only when you reach the peak of your exhaustion and can no longer shed tears.

Then comes the next morning when you wake up in a cold sweat, each time hoping to wake to the warmth of your bed and the comfort of your nanny, hugging you and telling you its just some silly dream..

Unfortunately everytime you open your eyes you awaken to this cold dark room barely illuminated by the small window you cannot reach, but even when you get a good look you see the bars are made of iron.

The door is just as much if not more hard to escape from, covering in scratches from clawing at it for hours and parts of wood chipped at. You can't find a way out of that, your dad, mom or oldest sister could but not you.

As you look up pathetically staring at the iron bars hoping someone will come for you, your stomach begins to growl, you feel yourself growing hungrier by the minute and you have to sit down.

Thoughts of the warm food you had eaten so many times over comes to mind in an instant,, steamed buns, miso soup, chicken, baked potatoes, ect all of that sounds delicious right now.

The immediate thought to ask your nanny Misa for some pancakes come to mind but then the haunting imagery comes back to you full force as you struggle to stand.

Remembering what happened that day.. how helpless you were while Nanny Misa threw her life away for you... she always said she'd give her life for yours but this just....doesn't feel right.

'Why didn't I move...?'

Looking down at your trembling hands it flashes from being dirty with a bit of grub and dust to being stained crimson, the cold dark floors underneath you suddenly looks and feels like the same grass from that day...

Your breath quickens as you feel your eyes widened and your chest tighten. You feel your lungs squeezing together as your breaths quickens your pupils scan the room.

'Why...didn't I move...? Why couldn't I move?..' You ask yourself in your head over and over again as your mind transfers you back to that terrible day.

All you can do is look up, you see the scene play out again, Your nanny raising the blade...preparing to slam it down as the strange man walks past her...then the blood.

She flinched as the blood spurted from her neck, her arms going limp,, you winced as she went limp and the blood begun to spurt. Watching as she falls to her knees you can only watch again helplessly as she falls over...

'Please...move..! Help her! Run away! Do something!' You mentally yell at yourself but nothing happens as you just stand and your mind tortured you with that same memory again, her cold body laying on the ground, crimson dirtied her pretty uniform you adored, jt was so pretty, so clean no matter how many times you buried your dirty face into it or grabbed it with hands covered in mud from a new mudpie

'Why couldn't I do anything...?'

You think as your vision is invaded by this cruel imagery. You can't help it. Once it fades all you have now is your own sorrows as your tears well up in your eyes and you fall to your knees.

Choked sobs slip out your lips as yo land on her knees those choked sobs become more than that as time passes and you're back to the loud wailing you started with when you were first brought here. You coughed on your tears, choking on them as you wailed.

You wail, you don't hold back, you can't hold back, tears being the only way you can smudge some of that dirt off your hands. Your tears being the warmest thing about this room as you continue to wail.

It isn't until you hear that large door creek again do you finally snatches your head out of your hands and stare up, hoping the culprit was found and your father or sister had come for you! Tears still pouring down from your eyes like waterfalls, your hands trembled with every cough.

"Still crying...how odd...." That voice...that terrifying voice, it sends chills through you as you turn, and all you see...are those cold black fish eyes, you can't see anything else except those eyes, they scare you to no level. You jump to your feet and scramble away from him.

You want to scream but no sound comes out, you feel so weak, and its because you are. You're only a child in the face of this monster, you're alone and trapped in this cruel situation. All you can do is step back as he steps forward

He stares down at you, watching as the warm tears roll down your face. 'So pathetic...at this rate you would have never unlocked your potential had I left you with Killua.' He thinks to himself, watching you tremble.

As he takes a step forward you take one back. Its all you can manage to do afterall, your words are caught in your throat as he approaches.

He stares at you, silently as he approaches, those fish-like eyes staring you down. Your scared. Its so easy to be scared at this age, but this is a different type of fear.

All you can think about, is how he may hurt you. How he'll reach out and you'll be hurt for your tears by this man you've never met until three days prior. Only three days and he's instilled an unimaginable amount of fear within you.

It leaves you frozen in fear. The hunger in your mind now lost in the everlasting ocean of terror seeping through your core, you feel it. That cold tingling, its painful. From the top of your head, the tips of your fingers tremble to the soles of your feet.

He stares at you. Unmoving, unblinking until he sighs, even such a harmless casual thing like sighing makes you want to break down and sob, plead to not be hurt but all that comes out are pathetic whimpers as your tears roll down your face. You stumble back and fall on your rear end, trembling as you feel even smaller in the face of this monster.

He closes his eyes, and turns his back to you. Not another word is spoken, you don't know what will happen now, its scary how unpredictable he is. He stands there for a while.

Then...starts to leave. He walks away, you see how his back gets smaller through your eyes, vision blurred by tears but you can see the green getting further and further until...

SLAM!

The door slams shut, leaving a sudden gust of cold air coming back into the room. Your hands fall to your sides as you sit there and stare at the door, whimpering as more cries break through your through and slowly you cough.

Those coughs turn into cries, not as loud as before but they echo through the walls. You can't hear the voices outside,all you can hear is your own sounds of despair as you sit within the cold, empty, small room.

Your weeps don't go silent as your stomach growls after at least ten minutes of crying. You crawl towards the door, your legs won't pick up like they need to, they hurt, your stomach hurts. You feel like its hitting your back.

Once close enough to the door you pat the door, before slamming your hand against it. It stings, but the pain is not as bad as your stomach right now. You weep and wail as you yell out.

"Please! Someone! Anyone! Let me out! I'm hungry...!" You wail, but no sounds come from the other side. Your hand pounds against the door over and over, once again you hear your coughs echo through the room, feel your snot pouring down your nose and your tears trinkle down your skin.

The room is so cold, the floor, the walls, there's no hope for warmth. You're so exhausted. It hurts, everything hurts.

Your wails begin to trinkle through the thick door unbeknownst to you. It isn't until you hear heels clicking against the floor, shuffling and what sounded to be a deep voice letting out a sigh of what could be frustration or pity..

"Crying won't help you eat. If you stop you'll get something, bread at the very least" A voice, from the other side.

The voice is deep and has an odd tone something you can't put your finger on just yet. Your head sits up ever so slightly, not completely but enough to hear properly..

Your weeps haven't come to a stop yet, but they have died down just a bit. You heard him mention getting something, eating and your stomach twist in a painful way. You can't help but hope he means what he says.

"Huh..?" You heard him, but anything more specific will help right now. It's something different, not too different, you recognize his voice from the car ride here. You stare at the door, hoping for something.

"Your tears won't be wiped, you won't be coddled or held, your cries will not help you here. Stop that crying, if you must cry then do it after you've gotten your full." That odd voice spoke from the other side. It gave hope that you could be fed, that would solve one big problem.

"...really...?" You speak with a whimper, your voice cracking at the end of your sentence.

Even though you heard it twice now, you still desired the confirmation that the chances of anything could be given if you could just stop your crying. It would be difficult but you could try.

After a few moments of silence, you hear that voice again. He sighs "really." Despite his tired tone, he sounded like he was in deep thought.

That doesn't concern you right now, what concerns you is trying to figure out how to stop crying. You sniffle and lean down on your hands, curling into a ball, the tears fall but you clench your jaw to stop any noises.

You stare at the door, hoping to hear it open maybe. Hoping to hear your dad or mom, even your older sisters, but ultimately you only hear the man sigh, the sounds of rustling and the sounds of heels clicking against the floors outside of the thick door until it eventually ends in silence.

It went another day without food of any sort. Your stomach felt like it was on fire. It was so hard to fall asleep but somehow you managed.

The morning you woke up, the sun gave some light to the room,, it was warmer, what a relief. You could see how close the corners of the room was. The walls a dark gray, but you could hardly see the floors.

You can't get up, your legs hurt, you feel weak. Not once have you heard of death, or experienced it, you've seen it but is it usually this painful?

Another growl comes from your stomach. It hurts now, each one sending a Shockwave of pain through your body,, specifically your back. You groan and whine, tears pooling down your face.

How much longer? You just want to go home, or at the very least have something to eat, you'll take anything. Just something to stop this feeling of hunger.

You squeeze your eyes shut as the pain circles through you...it isn't until you hear a thud oddly close to the window that you open them again, it takes a lot of strength to turn your head but you do.

What you see, is a piece of bread, and a cup of water sitting close by the wall where the window is.

Mustering up all your strength you feel a sudden surge of energy surge through your body as you begin to force yourself to your knees, scurrying over to the bread.

Its big, bigger than your hands. Your eyes light up as you sniffle and take a large bite out of it. Its stale but you don't care. You take bite after bite until the entire loaf disappeared.

You feel the pain begin to settle, and you reach over and gulp down the water, letting it soothe your sore throat and you sigh in satisfaction. Knowing you had something meant that man didn't lie.

If or when the next time comes, maybe you'd get more food, but for now your happy the painful feeling began to settle.

~~~Bonus!~~~

I sit perched upon a nearby tree branch, close enough to see the child demolish the bread gifted to them by me. Watching as they guzzle down the water, not letting even a drop slip onto the ground beneath them or drizzle down their chin.

As I watch, a smirk on my face it goes to one of slight surprise as a very old memory drifts back to my mind. A girl of that size, that age in a room similar to this, although id have to say her (s/t) skin was a lot more dirty. Wearing raggedy pajamas instead of the clothes the child has on now. Her hair a mess, although they share similarities there.

It doesn't last long, its a brief site but it catches me off guard. I lean on my hand and a smirk creeps its way back to my face as I watch the child lay down, possibly to sleep.

"Hm. I guess this is what they call 'deja vu'. Funny. You're reminding me of your mother~"

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cellsshapedlikestars · 1 year

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The Scooby-Doo AU sounds fantastic!

I take it that in this AU, Jon is Shaggy, Robb is Fred, Sansa is Daphne, Arya is Velma and Ghost would be Scooby, right?

If you have the time and inclination, i would really like to see the story published and further developed. It would be interesting to see what "ghost" is haunting Minisa and what other adventures the group might get up to.

I've had about 2k words of this written for at least a year and a half, but cannot seem to write anything past that. I've said before on here that "period pieces" are hard for me, and I wanted to set this in the 70s. I was not alive in the 70s, I'm not super interested in it as an aesthetic (I lean more towards 90s if we're considering recent history), so I find that harder to write.

I WANT to write this so bad because I have a pretty specific scene in mind for the middle, but who knows.

You know what? I might never actually post it, but I don't mind what I've written so far, so if you want, below the cut is what I have actually written of it.

Sansa watches mom hang the phone up with a click that sounds loud in the quiet tension of the kitchen.

“That's the third one,” Sansa says to break the silence, when mom doesn't say anything, when she just goes back to the casserole.

“We've talked about this,” mom sighs. She doesn't even look up, just starts layering more scalloped potatoes into the pan she'd started before the call came in. Sansa starts to open her mouth, but she hears the distant buzz of the washing machine and mom cuts in, “could you?”

She knows there's no use in trying to argue, so she gets off the stool and makes her way to the basement stairs and heads down.

“You know, you could get the laundry,” she tells Robb, who's lounging on the couch, idly watching The Price is Right, still in his pajamas. When Robb just shrugs, she huffs and starts to move the laundry from the washer to the dryer. “Where's Arya?”

“Out playing hockey with Rickon,” she hears him respond through a mouthful of food, and when she looks over, she sees the bag of chips on the coffee table in front of him.

Once the dryer is loaded, she grabs the next basket and starts to load it into the washer, and she carefully says, “Grandma called again.”

Behind her, she hears Robb shift. “She still seeing ghosts?”

“Mom still doesn't believe her.”

“Don't tell me you do?”

“No, of course not, but I am worried about her, which mom doesn't seem to be. I just keep thinking about her, all alone in that big house...”

“I know,” Robb sighs, finally getting off the couch and coming over to help sort the laundry with her. They're in Bran and Rickon's baskets now, and Sansa's nose crinkles up at the smells wafting out of them. “I think if dad were here, she'd probably be more open to listening to Grandma, but...”

He doesn't have to continue, Sansa knows. Dad tries not to take business trips in the summer so that mom doesn't have to handle all five of them alone, all day long, but this time he hadn't been able to get out of it. She knows mom's stressed, and Sansa's been trying to help out as much as she can, but even Rickon alone is a handful.

“What if I went?”

“You?” Robb turns to her with a frown.

“Just to check it out. Make sure it's nothing.”

“There's no way you're going down to Riverrun by yourself,” Robb laughs and Sansa feels a pang of annoyance shoot through her.

“What if someone's been breaking in? Like a burglar? Or what if it's some wild animal? We can't leave Grandma alone.”

“And what would you do against a burglar or a wild animal?”

Sansa shoots him a glare that he doesn't see because he's turned back to the laundry. She wants to remind him that women can do things. Women aren't helpless. It's the seventies, not the fifties.

(Except Sansa knows Robb wouldn't be saying any of this to Arya – because Arya isn't helpless. Sansa has never been the type of girl to stop shaving her legs or her underarms, to stop wearing a bra in protest. She never joined in to play sports when they were kids. Sansa wishes she could be more like that sometimes, but she's not. She likes pretty, soft things and Robb thinks she's weak. She probably is.)

She turns back to the laundry, finishing the sorting and piling the next load into the washer, fighting the lump in her throat at her own helplessness.

“We could all go.”

“What?”

When she looks at Robb, he's looking at her again, thoughtful. “You, me, Arya,” he says. “We could go check on Grandma, and it would give mom a bit of a break, you know? She wouldn't have to feed all five of us for a little. Less dishes, less laundry, less worrying.”

There's a relief that floods through her at the words, because she really is worried about Grandma – she's been all alone in that big mansion by the river for two years, ever since Grandpa died.

“Okay,” she smiles, closing the lid of the laundry. “Let's go.”

…

Deciding to go and actually going are two very different things, it turns out.

For one, they don't have a car.

Well, the family has two cars, actually, a luxury that Sansa often forgets is a luxury. Dad makes enough money that they can have two cars and send three kids to college while still living in their well-to-do neighborhood. But one of the cars is at the airport in long term parking where dad left it, and mom needs the other to run errands and take care of Bran and Rickon.

“We could take a train?” Sansa suggests as they sit in one of the booths of Luwin's Diner. Arya's busy working on a double fudge sundae, Robb's finishing up his fries, and Sansa takes another sip of her strawberry milkshake.

“I don't think a train goes anywhere near Grandma's house. The closest stop would probably be in Red Fork, and then we'd still have no way of getting to Riverrun.”

“Sans, doesn't your boyfriend have a car we could borrow? Isn't his dad a car salesman?”

Sansa feels her cheeks flush with heat and she shakes her head. “Harry and I broke up at the end of the semester,” she says like it doesn't bother her. Like she hadn't walked in on him naked, in bed, with a girl from his Literature class.

“Bummer,” Arya says, though Sansa knows it's because of the car thing and not actually Harry. The one time they'd met, Arya had not liked Harry. But then again, Arya's never liked any of Sansa's boyfriends, and she’s usually, annoyingly, right.

Robb's been silent for a while, he's staring out the window and Sansa turns to see what he's looking at. Across the street is a pizza shop and an auto body.

“I'll be right back,” Robb says, a slight frown on his face, a line between his brows. He gets up and leaves the diner, crossing the street towards the auto body. Mance's Auto, the sign reads.

“Where's he going?”

Arya leans over to watch Robb with her own frown. “Is that Jon's van?”

“Jon who?”

Arya sighs and points at a teal blue Volkswagen van that's parked in the alley between Mance's Auto and the pizza shop, so far back that Sansa hadn't even seen it at first. “Jon Snow.”

Memories slam back into Sansa's body, looking at that van. Of Robb and Jon and Theon driving off in it, mom's disapproving frown every time they did. Of that van parked on the street outside their house, the smell of pot drifting up from the basement whenever mom and dad weren't home. Of the one and only time she'd ever been inside it – Joffrey's letterman jacket lying in the back seat, abandoned, while Jon's leather one sat heavy and warm over her shoulders. Her eyes red and puffy, her nose still running. That endless silence as he drove her home.

She hasn't seen Jon in years.

“I didn't think they were friends anymore?” is all she manages to say as Robb disappears inside the auto body.

“Beats me.” There's a pause, and Sansa can feel Arya's energy shift into something mischievous. “C'mon, let's go see.”

With that, Arya slides out of the booth and Sansa stares after her in shock. “Arya!” she hisses, but Arya is already halfway out the door and Sansa quickly grabs her purse to follow. As she gets out of the booth, she digs around and manages to find a few bills that she drops on the table and hopes is enough. If not, Mr. Luwin knows they're good for it.

She follows Arya outside and across the street, but Arya doesn't go into the shop, she goes around the side alley, to the van. To Sansa's surprise, Robb and Jon are already there.

It really has been years since she last saw Jon, not since the summer after Robb's high school graduation. Jon looks different now – he's always had long hair, but now it's tied back out of his face and he's grown a beard and his hands are covered in grease or oil, she can't tell. There's a rag that hangs from one of the belt loops of his jeans and Jon is busy using it to wipe his hands, though Sansa thinks the effort is wasted, since the rag seems to be just as covered in grease as his hands are.

He and Robb look like they're arguing, but Jon's mouth snaps shut when he sees her and Arya at the opening of the alleyway between the auto body and the pizza shop. It's also then that Sansa notices a white dog leashed to a bit of fencing, with a bowl of water and food near it.

“Hey Jon,” Arya greets, looking between him and Robb. “It's been a while.”

“Arya,” Jon nods at her and then his eyes slide over to Sansa. “Sansa.”

“Hi Jon,” she gives him a little wave, unsure what else to do. There's a weird tension in the alley that she can't figure out.

“Does Jon have a car he can lend us?” Arya asks, and from the way Jon sighs, Sansa can tell this was the conversation he and Robb were already having.

“Jon says his boss wouldn't lend us a car,” Robb says with a frown. “And he won't let us borrow his van.”

“Robb,” Sansa hears herself say, and she almost winces at the scolding tone. She sounds a lot like their mother.

“What?” Robb asks with wide eyes. “We wouldn't need it for too long! And his mom doesn't live that far, he could walk to work no problem.”

“Do you still have that beanbag in the back?” Arya asks, moving towards the side of Jon's van. “I used to love that thing.”

Sansa watches as Arya takes hold of the handle and Jon opens his mouth in protest, but he's too late. Arya pulls open the door and instead of a beanbag chair that Sansa doesn't remember ever seeing (though again, she'd only been in the van once, and she hadn't been paying much attention to the interior), there's a lumpy twin mattress stuffed into the back, rumpled sheets piled haphazardly on it, trash bags of what looks like clothes on the seats in front of it.

Arya stares at it in confusion, until Jon moves forward and shuts the door, the slam of it echoing through the alleyway.

“Your mom kick you out again?” Robb asks, voice low, and Sansa wishes desperately that she and Arya had never followed. She feels like she shouldn't be hearing this. “You know you can always crash-”

“It's fine,” Jon starts wiping at his hands again with the rag. It's useless. He's just making it worse. “If you need the van to help your grandma, you can take it.”

“Where will you live?” Robb asks with a scowl. Arya still looks a bit shocked at the revelation.

“I dunno, maybe I'll go apologize and see if mom will let me back in.”

“Was the fight your fault?”

Jon shrugs and it only deepens Robb's frown.

“You could come with us?”

All three of them turn to look at her, and Sansa wonders where that even came from. The words simply flew out of her mouth before she realized what she was saying.

“That's a great idea!” Arya's confusion clears and is replaced with excitement. “C'mon Jon, this roadtrip will be loads more fun if you're along and I'm not stuck with these two dorks.”

Sansa watches Jon hesitate, looking between his van and Robb, then the back entrance to Mance's Auto. “I guess Mance has been on me to take some time off,” he hedges. “Ghost would have to come, too.”

“Perfect,” Arya grins.

…

Jon's van smells vaguely of pot and dog, but it's not as bad as Sansa thought it would be. Definitely not as bad as she was expecting a van that someone was living out of to smell like. With the windows rolled down, both smells disappear fairly quickly anyway.

They set off three days later, after finally convincing mom to let them go (even though they're all in college and legal adults, it was still a fight), and after Jon had gotten approval to take two weeks off work. When they finally set out, she notices that Jon has cleared out the van a bit – she has no idea where the mattress went, but it's gone and replaced by the beanbag that Arya loves so much. Jon and Robb sit in the front seats and Sansa sits in the middle row with Ghost at her feet while Arya sits in the back on that beanbag and messes around with the rest of Jon's stuff.

“You're going to break that,” Sansa whispers at her over the back of her seat as she watches Arya open a portable record player and start fiddling with it. Up front, Jon and Robb are talking in low voices, she thinks about Jon's mom, and so she tries not to listen in because it's none of her business.

Nothing about Jon is her business.

#cellsshapedlikeasks #jonsa #scooby doo au

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miasmaghoul · 1 year

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do you think dew watches dance moms and will just laugh at the moms when the fight-

He and Swiss will watch trash tv together all day if allowed. Sprawled out on a couch, stoned out of their minds watching reality shows and making fun of every single contestant.

Dew likes things full of obviously-staged fights and coincidences. He'll point and laugh with his head in Swiss's lap, imitating whatever nonsense is playing out. He can recite several scenes from past seasons of Real Housewives verbatim.

Swiss likes cooking competitions, specifically American ones. Full of so much artificial drama that they're borderline soap operas. Chopped is a personal favorite, and he likes to blather on about what he'd do with mystery baskets filled with things like pickled beets, duck tongues and ghost pepper flavored potato chips.

They both yell at the tv when someone goes for the ice cream machine, every time.

#miasma has ghoul thoughts #i have other tv watching headcanons bc of course i do #and feelings about Chopped #obviously

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starthelostboys · 10 months

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tlb characters’ favorite meals:

michael: scrambled eggs with bacon and hash browns. michael is definitely a breakfast food fan, and this is his favorite breakfast meal. he prefers to make it himself, so he can cook the bacon the way he likes or put hot sauce on the eggs, but if he’s ever at a breakfast restaurant he’ll always order this there.

star: broccoli and cheddar soup. i don’t think star had a good relationship with her parents at all (in fact i hc that she ran away from home at 18) but her dad used to make this for her on special occasions and she’s never been able to find something that replaces it as her favorite food. every once and a while she’ll feel horribly homesick and get some of the campbell’s canned broccoli and cheddar soup.

david: tuna salad sandwich. he eats this like twice a month and when he does it’s the gross sandwiches that come in vending machines or the refrigerated shelf at gas stations. he truly and genuinely thinks it’s the best and most satisfying meal in the world will usually eat it alongside a can of diet coke.

dwayne: a reuben with salt and vinegar chips. he’s very picky when it comes to this specific thing. the bread on the sandwich can’t be toasted and the potato chips have to be kettle cooked or he isn’t satisfied. he hasn’t eaten this in years because there’s no restaurants in santa carla or the surrounding area that meet his high standards.

marko: bbq burger. specifically the one at a restaurant just outside of santa carla that closed down in the mid 1970s. he mourns the lose every day and has never found a bbq burger that hits quite the same.

paul: lasagna. his all time favorite is the one at this italian place in the town where he grew up, but he’s happy with any and all types of lasgna, including the shitty frozen meal ones.

laddie: spaghettios with hot dogs cut up in it. most of what he eats is fast food or from whatever quick service restaurants are on the boardwalk, so it’s not like he gets a lot of home cooked meals and he sees this as a sometimes treat that star or one of the boys will make for him every once in a while.

sam: grilled chicken tacos. he takes his tacos with cilantro and sour cream only, and as little spice as possible because he can’t handle it at all. he hasn’t eaten this at all since moving to santa carla cause his favorite version of it is at a mexican restaurant that the emersons used to go to semi regularly when they lived in arizona. if he ate any different chicken tacos it would just make him a little homesick and sad he can’t have the ones he likes.

edgar: blueberry pancakes with a side of onion rings. edgar seems like a diner food kind of guy to me (i haven’t forgotten the scene in the thirst where he and zoe get pancakes together), and he’s definitely a creature of habit so this is what he always orders. he refuses to put any sort of syrup on the pancakes and never gets any breakfast sides to go with them, it’s only ever onion rings.

alan: peanut butter and banana sandwich. i think that he and edgar were kind of left to their own devices a lot growing up (and it’s only gotten worse now that they’re teenagers), so they had to make their own meals and peanut butter and banana sandwiches are something they’d eat multiple times a week when they were kids. no matter how often he eats them he never gets tired of them.

lucy: chicken and dumplings. she makes this at least once a month, and every time michael or sam have ever gotten sick she makes it for them. she still uses her mom’s recipe from when she was a kid.

#a had a lot of fun coming up with these #i think that favorite food/meals say a lot about a person #and it was really interesting to think about what that might say about all the tlb characters #also almost all these foods are super american #so i'd love to hear what other people's hcs are with foods from other cultures #the lost boys #tlb #kate's bad takes

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foralleternityidiot · 9 months

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I finally started watching Word of Honor and it's got me in a choke-hold and I'm not even 7 episodes in.

But... I have some questions - and as you are the Word of Honor specialist on my dash I was hoping you could help me out.

Does it have a HEA? If it doesn't I'm still gonna watch it, but I feel I need to be prepared. (Do I need to stock up on my wine?? Is it a tequila ending?!? Or is it a The Untamed ending?)

I keep seeing mentions that it is based on a book. As both a book lover and a media traditionalist (as in, you should always read the book) - is it available in English? (I am dumb and do not speak/read any other languages. 😩)

I started watching on Netflix because that was the app I was browsing when it showed in my suggestions and I said "Yes, this is good time to start this!" (at 9pm on Sunday 🤦🏻‍♀️) - But I have Viki, is Viki going to have the better subs? (my experience says yes, but thought I'd ask.)

And why did they make this show so specifically bingeable, every episode ends in the middle of a scene!

Oh my god to be considered a WOH specialist is like a life goal achievement. Thank you!!

Ok let’s dive in:

1) If you don’t watch the special 15 minute epilogue (available on YouTube), then yeah you will need tissues and tequila. I actually loved the sad ending though. It was beautiful. But after crying you can watch the epilogue and decide which you prefer.

2) It is based on a book called Faraway Wanderers by Priest (author of many novels, BL like Guardian and non-BL like Legend of Fei). The book has not yet been officially published in English, but there are English translations available online. I’ve not read it, so I don’t have a link. I’m hoping Seven Seas will publish it soon. They have just started publishing Guardian and are preparing to publish another Priest novel this year.

3) I watched it on Netflix. A month or so ago @linameka started watching it with me using Viki and I instantly clocked the poor quality subtitles. I switched her to Netflix immediately. You really never know which is going to have the better subs. For instance I started Falling Into Your Smile on Netflix and I couldn’t get through 5minutes of it. Switched to Viki and it was 1000x better. Finished the show in a weekend.

Yeah cdramas do that on purpose. They are like potato chips. I watch them faster than kdramas because they are just designed to binge.

Bless you for thinking of me 💜

#ask maibpenrai

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thebibliomancer · 1 month

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What If? Vol. 2 #3

What if Steve Rogers refused to give up being Captain America?

Okay that’s non-specific if you don’t know your Captains America.

A government commission on superheroes brought Cap in and declared that since the Captain America name and outfit were made by the government, they owned it. They owned him. And they wanted Cap taking orders directly from the government.

Cap refused to play ball and surrendered the outfit, the shield, and the codename and started going by the Captain instead.

The government made John Walker Captain America and he did a really bad job. Not helped by Red Skull having engineered the whole thing to tarnish Captain America’s reputation by replacing him with Some Jerk.

Steve confronted a spiraling John Walker and took over being Captain America again and the government put John Walker in a variant of the Captain outfit, making him US Agent. And a pain in the ass for the West Coast Avengers.

This What If? story instead has Steve refuse to surrender the Captain America name. In response, the commission tells all the soldiers in the Pentagon that Cap is actually a commie impersonator and to shoot him please.

A bit of an overreaction. But maybe not unrealistic.

I don’t know why “Featuring: Freedom Force!” is so prominent on the cover. They do feature in one scene, where they hassle the Avengers, trying to find where Cap is. But that’s it.

Were they so popular that they deserved this much hype?

The government gets Taskmaster to train Super-Patriot John Walker and some dudes with B’s on their cowls to hunt down Cap.

But they don’t have to try very hard because Captain America has Rick Jones organize a rally so he can argue his position to the American people.

Obviously, Super-Patriot shows up to punch Cap and friends a lot.

But then a Reagan ex machina happens.

President Reagan just shows up and presidential pardons Steve and declares he can be an independent Captain America while Super-Patriot will be the government’s personal patriotic mascot.

So we end up basically where we would have? Steve Rogers gets to be Captain America, John Walker works for the government.

Well, no.

Remember how Red Skull was manipulating this from behind the scenes?

He’s livid at Reagan ex machina and orders one of his agents to shoot Cap right then and there.

Reagan shrugs and asks John Walker to be the new Captain America.

John goes through his same breakdown in the same time span and kills a guy without Steve around to stop him. And like Batman always feared, murder is like potato chips.

The government tried to cover it up but Walker just kept killing until he got fired and arrested.

The Captain America identity got retired and Red Skull laughed his ass off having finally destroyed his nemesis.

My problem with this one is that the most interesting idea here is Steve Rogers dies, he’s not around to stop John Walker. And it happens near the end of the book.

The rest of the book is filled with Cap having an action sequence where he escapes the Pentagon after being branded a commie imposter. Freedom Force hassling the Avengers and Peter Henry Gyrich cracking down on the Avengers too. Cap gathering allies like Falcon, D-Man, Nomad, and Vagabond. A talk show where Reed Richards, Rick Jones, and the president of the VFW speak out in defense of Cap. A brief fight scene at the rally until President Reagan could just show up and resolve everything.

There’s a lot of Stuff that happens to fill the page count that doesn’t really mean anything because Red Skull flips the table.

Complaining that a thing isn’t a different thing is a type of criticism I try not to do. But…

In terms of this What If? and if the endpoint is dead Captain America and John Walker out of control…

The story should have started with Cap being killed in the Pentagon escape. Shot by a normal soldier or killed by Freedom Force since you’re so proud of having them involved for some reason.

Focus the issue on John Walker’s fall. That spree of violence he went on that the government tried to cover up.

Have the allies Cap gathered in this issue instead be the people that stepped up to confront Walker in Steve’s stead.

As it is, What If Steve Rogers had refused to give up being Captain America? manages to hit two different What If? indulgences at the same time.

In spite of a nail, everything ends up roughly following the same events anyway. And everything is worse forever.

#What If?#the comic #Captain America #Captain America No More!#maybe the monster clown drove Walker mad #who can say

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hello-nichya-here · 1 year

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It always makes me laugh when some people genuinely assume L was being honest when he said he thought of Light as his friend and therefore it's an unconsented proof he's "good" and Light is "evil". Like can't you tell L was only saying it to get more info from Light? Though that Bible reference scene makes it seem like L genuinely cared about Light and didn't want to kill him, a scene that was not present in the manga. Do you think L cared about Light in any way?

In the manga, I think Light and L were just obsessed with each other, but there was no affection (no matter how twisted) from either of them towards the other until Light lost his memories of being Kira - that was such a key moment, the artist even drew him slightly different for that arc. From that moment onwards, they both got attached.

Now, the writer already said that, yes, L was lying when he said he considered Light his first friend - and while I agree with that sentiment on that part of the story specifically, death of the author is a thing for reason. L is a manipulative bastard, but the line was intentionally meant to throw off both Light and the audience especifically because it COULD be seen as genuine. L having any form of genuine attachment to Light wouldn't make him ignore his suspicions that he could be Kira, so it doesn't HAVE to be a lie, so taking that moment as L being sincere is a valid interpretation.

The anime is on another level entirerly, and part of it is not just because of scenes like the foot massage on the stairs, but also because, well, everything is way more intense. We are talking about the series that made an epic moment out of Light taking a potato chip and eating it after all.

In my opinion, the anime version of the story has Light and L already feeling some affection for each other pretty early on, and then when Light loses his memories these feelings only get stronger - and because they're both terrible people that does not make the relationship any less unhealthy and antagonistic, even with Light not even wanting to kill L. "I care for you/am obsessed with you" and "I hate your guts and won't hesitate to kill you if you try anything against me/my goals" are not mutually exclusive.

And in both versions, the people making the story knew EXACTLY what they were doing when they had these motherfuckers engaging in bondage 24/7 "just so L would know Light wasn't Kira." I don't care what anyone says, that was even gayer than the foot scene.

#asks #death note #lawlight

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orchideous-nox · 3 months

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5, 13, 19 and 20 for the specific asks game thingie < 3

5 - favorite form of potato?

I was going to say like chips (fries) or something basic but then I remembered that dauphinoise exist so I have to say dauphinoise

13 - first thing you’re doing in the purge?

God this is going to sound pathetic but I'm heading to Waterstones and stocking up, I don't have the balls to do much else, I'm all bark and no bite.

19 - the veggie you dislike the most?

Sprouts. There's nothing redeemable about them. Cook them in as much seasoning or little bits of bacon as you want but I know what it is, you can't polish a turd.

20 - favorite disney princess movie?

I had to do some googling because Kuzco is unfortunately not a princess which is an outrage so I can't use my favourite disney movie in general. Then I looked up and my Pascal plushie was staring at me so Tangled, I'm a sucker for the lantern scene and I See The Light.

Thank you for the questions my love < 3

#ask game #get to know me #answered

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lily-orchard · 2 years

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You once said sex scenes are never necessary. What did you mean by that?

Exactly what it says on the tin. They're superfluous by design. Like potato chips. The point of saying that is because a lot of newer writers twist themselves in knots trying to tie sex scenes to the story and make them "matter" but it's impossible to do that, so stop worrying about it.

People think they need to make sex scenes important to the plot because just admitting you're horny and weird isn't considered good enough by some people. So far this has only ever amounted to having something interrupt a sex scene and make way for character work, usually overstepping boundaries. But speaking as someone who doesn't like sex scenes unless she's specifically looking for them, making them more important to the plot would be more obnoxious because then I can't skip them without missing something.

People take that statement to mean I'm some kind of Hayes Code supporting puritan (because everything that makes internet dwellers have to confront their crippling porn addiction is puritanism now) but if anything it's the opposite. It's reinforcing that your insecurity is pointless, so if you want to be gratuitous, then be gratuitous.

It's in the same vein as Hideo Kojima trying to excuse Quiet's attire with "she breathes through her skin" as opposed to Hideki Kamiya explaining Bayonetta with "Yeah I'm just a lecherous pig." Granted Bayonetta is still unplayable if you aren't into the exact same things Kamiya is into, but at least you're told that at the start so you can just not bother.

(Please leave a comment about how it's actually very empowering to sexually assault boss enemies like you're Arthas on estrogen)

See, not everyone likes sex scenes. And the fact that they're superfluous means that they're also unintrusive because they can be skipped without missing a damn thing. This is a good thing. It would only be worse if you actually could make sex scenes part of the plot. That would open them to more criticism, not less.

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local-butch-catgirl · 5 months

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True love is hilting your freshly sharpened dagger in your partner’s thigh— savoring the gasps and grunts of lovely pain. True love is staring deeply into their eyes which water and twitch as they smile back through the pleasurable agony, enjoying every second of your touch. True love sounds like ~“Vous êtes si gentils…”~ and looks like a crime scene and smells like fresh crimson and tastes like their lips…

True love is also the small things, like knowing your partner in life hates potato chips with dark spots on them so you go out of your way to eat just those specific chips for them.

#sadistic love #lesbian yearning #god help me

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pbandjesse · 5 months

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Today was a pretty nice day. I sort of wish I had done more stuff. Sewing specifically. But it was still a really nice day. Restful.

Which was nice after I woke up absolutely exhausted. I didn't sleep great. Waking up every time I turned over. It was not comfortable. I remember James saying goodbye but only a little.

When my alarm went off at 9 I was not happy. I told myself that if I made the bed, if I got washed and dressed, if I ate something, then I could go back to sleep. And I just kept telling myself that all day. I never actually went to sleep again. I did have a cozy day at home, even if I never went back to sleep.

I wore my jumpsuit to be extra cozy. I would spend some time working on making a new orange garland. We struggle to get the oven to turn on but I was able to get it eventually. I cut the orange all nice and only messed up one slice. It smelled really nice.

I would do some sorting, putting all of our glass jars in a bag to take to camp. I sorted out Tupperware box. And folded all of our totesbags. I put the dishes away. I had thanksgiving leftovers which were excellent. I had that three times today. Love my mashed potato leftovers.

I would do a lot of reading again today. I got set up in bed and read and it was great. I would take a break to work on writing up a proposal for a kids group. I worked on that for about an hour but would get burned out and just wanted to get back in bed.

But I did not sleep. I read. I watched videos. It was nice.

I texted with Jess and with James. Jess is having her housewarming party tomorrow so she had lots of things to plan and do to get ready. It was fun and sleepy.

I asked James to pick up chips and vitamin e oil (my skin is so dry!) And they would bring that home. Love my husband. They had a busy day at the musuem. With over 100 people coming through! Amazing!

James went on their computer to record their podcast. And I read until I got to the end of the hunger games. There is still so much book left! But I am taking a break so I don't rush.

I went and watched tiktoks for a while after that and saw a clip of the movie with the same scene I just read and I was surprised how different it was! Not in a bad way at all but I was surprised how different the tone was. I liked it a little better honestly.

James made me a piece of garlic bread and we cuddled on the couch. Then they decorated the Christmas tree. I just liked watching them make choices and I think they did such a nice job. The tree looks very sweet.

I would take a bath. Which was nice. I probably should have washed my hair. It feels so dry which doesn't feel great. I am slightly worried I striped it to much when I washed it on Wednesday. I'll probably wash it tomorrow when I come back from visiting Jess. I'll braid it tomorrow. I put oil in it tonight and trimmed my ends. Feels a little better already.

Me and James are getting ready to sleep. I'm looking forward to going to see my parents tomorrow. I hope it's a fun day. I hope it's a safe and easy drive.

I love you all. Goodnight!

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watching-pictures-move · 8 months

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Viddying the Nasties | Eaten Alive! (Lenzi, 1980)

This review contains mild spoilers.

I watched this years ago at around the same time as I first saw Cannibal Ferox and remember hating both. As I’ve been watching a bunch of cannibal movies recently and also apparently hate myself, I decided to give this another shot, having revisited the other movie not too long ago. To paraphrase the slogan of a popular potato chip, when it comes to Umberto Lenzi cannibal movies, you can’t watch just one. With rewatches, my opinion of the other movie hasn’t improved by much, but with this, maybe it has. Through some combination of desensitization and greater exposure to lower budget cinema where technical prowess is beside the point, I didn’t actively hate the experience this time around.

Like the other movie, which will serve as a useful point of comparison, it contains all the things we expect from cannibal movies, namely horrific violence and animal cruelty and insulting portrayals of other cultures. Unlike that other movie, a lot of this is repurposed footage from Jungle Holocaust, Slave of the Cannibal God and Lenzi’s own The Man From Deep River. And I think it goes to prove what I’ve been saying about the animal cruelty in these movies, that if you could replace it with stock footage instead of staging it specifically for the movie and it would still work in the same way. The first time I watched the movie, I didn’t realize this was recycled footage, and only caught it this time around as I’d seen Slave of the Cannibal God less than a week earlier. Now, I think the ultimate test would be if you replace the animal cruelty with something less noxious, like, I dunno, a guy in a gorilla suit. Maybe the gorilla suit scenes from Carlos Tobalina’s Jungle Blue, which were shot in the jungle and probably would blend in well enough, and also horrify for completely different reasons.

This movie’s big hook is that it’s a cannibal movie with a Jonestown-like cult, although if anything it plays like a Jonestown-like cult movie with cannibals added in. But really neither element is fleshed out that intelligently. The cult is led by Ivan Rassimov, who does a lot of ranting and raving that leads me to believe that the cult fell under his spell before the movie started, and all the other characters who fall under his influence during the proceedings do so offscreen. Halfway into the movie he’s demanding that everybody drink the Kool-Aid, which seems a bit premature. He also has an interesting way of settling disputes in his cult. One of his enforcers accuses the hero played by Robert Kerman of hiding a bottle of whisky. Kerman calls the guy a liar and punches him out. Rassimov considers the case closed. I guess might makes right in this cult. One will also note that the clothing worn by the cult is far from gender neutral, with the men wearing togas and the women wearing a lot less, but as this means that Me Me Lai spends all her scenes in a loincloth or less and Janet Agren can be seen nude in gold bodypaint, I found it in my heart to overlook this one flaw. One will also note that the commune seems a bit too small to house all the members of the cult, unless they’re using bunk beds. The movie halfassedly introduces the possibility of cannibalism early on, showing us documentary footage in a gesture that likely evokes the lineage of this genre with mondo movies, and later awkwardly rushes out the cannibals to wrap things up. It’s as if it wanted to be its own thing but couldn’t help succumb to genre demands.

Anyway, the cast is the best thing about this movie. Rassimov, while not particularly effective in this movie, I still like seeing because I’ve seen him in enough of these Italian horror movies and after a certain point it’s like hanging out with a friend. Lai and Agren bring obvious aforementioned charms. And Kerman is a lot of fun, doing a low rent adventurer shtick, having some nice chemistry with Agren (“Curiosity killed the cat, lady”) and bringing a nice physicality as he throws himself into the stunts. (It looks like that’s really him dangling from the helicopter towards the end.) He’s joined by fellow porn character actor Jake Teague, who describes a recent spate of crimes as “very, very spooky”. We also get Mel Ferrer show up to pick up a paycheque ("Americans will believe anything that's tax-deductible”), although neither him nor Teague get anywhere near the jungle. We do get a scene at the end where Kerman, Ferrer and Teague share the screen and spar verbally, which might be the only time in cinema history that the guy who did Debbie in Debbie Does Dallas, Audrey Hepburn’s ex-husband and the dipshit psychiatrist from A Woman’s Torment shared the screen. A real clash of the titans.

Despite the animal cruelty (and I admit I still frequently look away from the screen during these movies), this one holds together better than its obviously cobbled together nature might suggest. There are enough narrative happenings to hold one’s interest, Kerman especially gives a fun performance, and the jungle has great presence. It certainly feels more like a “real movie” than Cannibal Ferox, even if the latter’s flimsiness adds to its pungency and effectiveness as pure exploitation, pieces of film barely stitched together to present the ugliest imagery one can conjure. That being said, there is one particular noxious sequence here, where a woman is at first captured and raped by cult members, and then killed and eaten by cannibals, and the way her body is laid out like a pinup during the latter occurrence left me a little queasy. This character has been totally objectified, completely reduced to a piece of meat.

#film #movie review #viddying the nasties #eaten alive!#eaten alive #umberto lenzi

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