i know a lot of you are feeling like this was wasted effort, the entire fight but let me tell you something - before this, all i had were shows that baited us openly and us, knowing full and well what was happening, still supported those shows and settled for crumbs because "it was the best we could hope for". the actors, cast and crew made fun of our art and fics, not even hiding their disdain, and we just shrugged through it all.

then ofmd came along and gods, a brown lead? who thinks he's unlovable and then the show goes on to show me that he's the most worthy of love? he's a genius in his field and clever and kind and quirky and full of love? an older queer discovering love so much later in life? not crumbs? explicit representation? the cast and crew gleefully laughing at homophobes and racists right alongside me and people who look like me? even the antagonist honours the pronouns of the nb character?

it was cancelled and it's devastating and take your time to grieve but it wasn't for nothing. some of us were here back when things were worse. and are still living in places where queer rights are LOL. it means something to get two seasons of this, it means something that they made love while fireworks went off, it means something that we were on Times Square, it means a lot. take pride in that. YOU did that. All of that.

It didnt mean nothing.

watercolor edge my beloved

I can't stop thinking about this post

"This fic was ai generated—" Cool, so lemme block you real quick

i think we should remind musicians they can absolutely make up little stories for their songs btw. it doesn’t have to be about them at all. you can invent a guy and put him in situations to music. time honoured tradition in fact.

[ Devour ]

"youve already written that trope" yesss. i like it a lots. i will be writing it again. 1000 stories of the same trope over and over again for ten million years

My blog has become infested with angst goblins, and they must be fed with some hypothetical scenarios!🙏💚

the snake of eden 🥰

this manatee looks like it’s in a skyrim loading screen

gouache falin

because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

I was plagued by a vision

Every season has a distinct feel, I tried a new style to tell their stories through distinct shapes (and rl is like that for funsies)

michael distortion what a goofy guy

The newbie's falling for the former captain of the guards ❤️‍🔥