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theartofdreaming1 · 3 years

Photo

Katniss, Peeta, and Haymitch are slowly becoming a proper team! No more secrets! (for the most part)

As usual, my thoughts regarding this week’s prompts and (many) random thoughts on chapters 4-6 are below the cut.

heart

Losing that comfort of sleeping in each other’s arms after the Victory Tour must have been hard for Katniss and Peeta! Up until Katniss hurts her ankle, they probably didn’t really do much about it, just trying to make it through on their own... After she hurt her ankle and Peeta’s spending more time over at her place, I can easily imagine him staying over, at least until she’s fallen asleep, which might help a little... Since they are living only three houses apart from each other, I like to imagine that they can see each other’s bedroom windows from their bedroom (how else would Katniss know that Peeta sleeps with the windows open? I can’t really imagine that they would be able to open the windows of the train they were on - y’know, for “safety reasons” (i.e. making sure nobody can escape)); maybe they’d both light a candle and put it by their window, as a signal they are going to sleep... It’s not the same, but it helps a little

mind

I mean, aside from the systemic rigging of the reaping system (i.e. poorer people generally having more entries, so they can have some food), I can easily imagine there being a manipulation of the “odds” when someone becomes too vocal or troublesome for the local authorities, such as someone trying to unionize a district’s workforce, for example

soul

In the districts, their impact has to be big - their win alone was a huge defiance of the Games as they used to be... sticking together and sticking up for each other ultimately led to them defeating the Capitol’s rules! In-between the Games and the Victory Tour I don’t think there was much noteworthy going on (although maybe the fact that, so far, none of the new victors’ loved ones had been hurt - Prim, Mrs. E., but also Gale and his family would be visible during the celebrations, I’m sure, same probably goes for the Mellark’s - might tell the people in the district that Snow and his cronies were aware of the attention any assassination attempt would gather and that this, in turn, might actually could become the last straw that would spark a revolution. In a way, that was proof that the people on top were at least a little afraid of what the people in the districts would do...) And then, especially during the visit of D11, with Katniss expressing her thanks and Peeta reaching out to share their winnings with the people from D11, another district than their own - it must have provided a lot of inspiration, I’m sure.

As for the Capitolites, maybe some of them would notice for once how unhappy/riled up the people in some of the districts were... or at least stop to think about how this time, a show of love and companionship actually provided more “entertainment” and intrigue than the brutal gore and bloodshed from previous Games (also, longer lasting - there is actually much more “story” to be had from the star-crossed lovers from D12 than from any individual winner of previous Games, if you think about it... Their “love story” is still on-going, with an upcoming wedding and the promise of a family... it’s still creepy and voyeuristic as hell, though)

Chapter 4

Everything he [Haymitch] said was true about the Capitol’s expectations, my future with Peeta, even his last comment. Of course, I could do a lot worse than Peeta. That isn’t really the point, though, is it? One of the few freedoms we have in District 12 is the right to marry who we want or not marry at all. And now even that has been taken away from me. - God, this sucks so much! As Katniss rightly points out, her misery isn’t about Peeta at all - it’s about her (and also his, just pointing that out) agency being taken away! She’s being stripped even of that little sliver of agency that inhabitants of D12 usually have (choice of whom to marry, or whether to marry at all)

I wonder if President Snow will insist we have children. - Eugh, just the idea of Snow being the one to have the last word on that subject... 🤢 The invasion of privacy here... - The only person who should get to decide whether Katniss should have children or not is Katniss herself! Period!

My mind searches frantically for a way out. I can’t let President Snow condemn me to this. Even if it means taking my own life. Before that, though, I’d try to run away. - Boy, Katniss is even contemplating taking her own life, rather than to submit to the life the Capitol wants to force on her; it’s not her first choice (she’d rather run away), but it shows the desperation she’s feeling

Could I even manage to take everyone I love with me, start a new life deep in the wild? Highly unlikely but not impossible. - Later we will see that Peeta and Haymitch also belong into the category of “people Katniss loves” 😊(as well as her family, Gale, and his fam, of course)

“And Peeta’s team is probably still asleep.” “Doesn’t he need prepping?” I ask. “Not the way you do,” Effie replies. What does this mean? It means I get to spend the morning having the hair ripped off my body while Peeta sleeps in. I hadn’t thought about it much, but in the arena at least some of the boys got to keep their body hair whereas none of the girls did. - Gotta love that everlasting sexism that, even far into the future, still won’t allow women to have frickin’ body hair (y’know, like most humans do 🙄)

I can remember Peeta’s now, as I bathed him by the stream. Very blond in the sunlight, once the mud and blood had been washed away. Only his face remained completely smooth. Not one of the boys grew a beard, and many were old enough to. I wonder what they did to them. - Katniss seems to have committed every single detail about Peeta to her memory, including how his body hair looked when she cleaned him in the last Games... okay 👀😏 On a more somber note, what is it that the Capitol is doing to these poor kids?! The boys couldn’t grow beards and - I’m assuming - the girls wouldn’t get their periods while in the arena (since the Games can last for weeks, it would be a huge disadvantage if any of the girls also had to content with cramps + periods - aside from worrying about getting murdered, I mean); it’s such a violation of one’s autonomy over one’s own body, yikes

Flavius tilts up my chin and sighs. “It’s a shame Cinna said no alterations on you.” “Yes, we could really make you something special,” says Octavia. “When she’s older,” says Venia almost grimly. “Then he’ll have to let us.” - Eeek, no thanks!😦 And frankly, it really shouldn’t be Cinna’s call to make but, y’know, Katniss’s!!! I don’t know, I get real panick-y just reading this exchange (I have never even gotten my ears pierced - my mom wouldn’t let them be pierced until I could make my own decision on that subject matter and as someone with skin issues and bad experiences with needles, I really don’t feel the need to have any unnecessary metal inserted into my body, so... I’m good)

His [Peeta’s] apology takes me by surprise. It’s true that Peeta froze me out after I confessed that my love for him during the Game was something of an act. But I don’t hold it against him. [...] “I’m sorry, too,” I say. [...] “There’s nothing for you to be sorry about. You were keeping us alive.” - That apology of Peeta’s... *chef’s kiss*; it was totally understandable that Peeta was upset and needed some time apart from Katniss after her confession, which had caught him completely by surprise, not even Katniss blames him for that... But his apology shows that he really made use of their time apart to work out his emotions and to reflect on both their situations - that’s some emotional maturity to be envious of! Plus, his apology is a good move to get their communication channel opened up again

It would be nice if he’d come to me with this earlier, before I knew that President Snow had other plans and just being friends was not an option for us anymore. But either way, I’m glad we’re speaking again. - Come on, Katniss, cut this boy some slack! He can’t read minds - how is he supposed to know about these things if you don’t tell him anything? It’s nice that you’re glad that you guys are on speaking terms again, but communication isn’t a one-way street, y’know?

I remember the tiger lily cookie and, now that Peeta is talking to me again, it’s all I can do not to recount the whole story about President Snow. But I know Haymitch wouldn’t want me to. I’d better stick to small talk. - Katniss really should have listened to her instincts here - Haymitch might have a better idea of how the Games/Capitol works, but he knows little about teamwork, which is an important factor in their specific (and unprecedented!) situation; I’m not blaming Katniss for relying on her mentor here, but this entire approach is going to crash and burn in the next chapter

It’s good to feel his fingers entwined with mine again, not for show but in actual friendship. We walk back to the train hand in hand. - Not to say that you can’t have friendships where you frequently hold hands - you totally can - but it is noteworthy that I don’t think I can recall Katniss holding hands with any of her other friends... (somehow, I can’t really picture Katniss holding hands with Gale casually like that... nor with Madge or Finnick later on)

At the door, I remember, “I’ve got to apologize to Effie first.” “Don’t be afraid to lay it on thick,” Peeta tells me.- There is something about this exchange that speaks to me... maybe because it reads like some sort of an inside joke between them? Or because it shows that, despite being on good terms with Effie, Peeta’s totally aware of how high-maintenance/over the top Effie is... I dunno ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Peeta has painted the Games. Some you wouldn’t get right away, if you hadn’t been with him in the arena yourself. Water dripping through the cracks in our cave. The dry pond bed. [...] Others any viewer would recognize. The golden horn called the Cornucopia. [...] And me. I am everywhere. [...] “What do you think?” he asks. “I hate them,” I say. I can almost smell the blood, the dirt, the unnatural breath of the mutt. - These are the pieces Peeta meant to exhibit in the Capitol, right? I wonder if he hoped that these paintings of his impressions/memories of the Games might actually connect with some Capitolites and might even move them to feel some empathy for the Tributes? Maybe he hoped that they would be more receptive for that kind of thing if he packaged it in art?

“All I do is go around trying to forget the arena and you’ve brought it back to life. How do you remember these things so exactly?” “I see them every night,” he says. [...] “Me too. Does it help? To paint them out?” “I don’t know. I think I’m a little less afraid of going to sleep at night, or I tell myself I am,” he says. “But they haven’t gone anywhere.” - I do wonder, whether and how painting out these moments could have therapeutic value for Peeta - on the one hand, the act of painting out specific intrusions/flashbacks might be helpful because he’d end up focusing on the more technical side of painting, y’know? Focussing on mixing the right shade of a certain color might help create some emotional distance from the moment itself... also, since painting usually takes some time, Peeta would actually spend a considerable amount of time facing these moments head on, rather than trying to avoid them (avoidance tends to increase the frequency of flashback/intrusions) and maybe spending so much time on them could also help him contextualize them within the broader narrative of his life, which is the basic principle behind Narrative Exposure Therapy, which is said to be pretty effective at treating PTSD... just my two cents

I can’t believe the size of District 11. “How many people do you think live here?” Peeta asks. I shake my head. In school they refer to it as a large district, that’s all. No actual figures on the population. - Perfect example of how tightly the Capitol controls the information the people in the districts have about the other districts... which is basically nothing. Let’s keep them in the dark so they are less likely to connect with each other and band together...

Cinna comes in with a pretty orange frock patterned with autumn leaves. I think how much Peeta will like the color. - Lol, Katniss bringing everything back to Peeta because she definitely hasn’t a crush on the guy, I see 😉

And then he [Peeta] hesitates before adding something that wasn’t written on the card. Maybe because he thought Effie might make him remove it. “It can in no way replace your losses, but as a token of our thanks we’d like for each of the tributes’ families from District Eleven to receive one month of our winnings every year for the duration of our lives.” - Peeta, the rebel! Talk about an act of radical kindness! I’m so proud of him. But also, I think this is another excellent example of how he and Katniss are on the same wavelength (this took me some time to find, but here you go): I silently say good-bye to Thresh and thank him for my life. I promise to remember him and, if I can, do something to help his family and Rue’s, if I win. (Ch. 23, THG)

I look at Peeta and he gives me a sad smile. I hear Haymitch’s voice. “You could do a lot worse.” At this moment, it’s impossible to imagine how I could do any better. The gift... it is perfect. So when I rise up on tiptoe to kiss him, it doesn’t seem forced at all. - Peeta: does anything that exemplifies his sense of morality; Katniss: *swoons* - but honestly, it is so beautiful how Katniss is so attracted to Peeta’s goodness and kind heart - it also tells us a lot about her (she is quite pure, as Peeta will point out later in this book) and what she values

“Wait, please.” I don’t know how to start, but once I do, the words rush from my lips as if they’ve been forming in the back of my mind for a long time. - And then Katniss launches into one of her spontaneous, heart-felt, and inspiring speeches/acts, expressing her thanks, sympathy, and a sense of kinship with people beyond the borders of her district, beyond the superficial barriers the Capitol has been trying to maintain in order to weaken the ‘common folk‘ and keep the exploitation going

The full impact of what I’ve done hits me. It was not intentional - I only meant to express my thanks - but I have elicited something dangerous. An act of dissent from the people of District 11. - Again, Katniss has done something that will solidify her as a symbol of the revolution without intending to do so and that’s the point, I think - she inspires people through her genuine displays of caring for others (which, in Panem, is already rebellious on its own)

Chapter 5

“We’re going!” says Peeta, shoving the Peacekeeper who’s pressing on me. “We get it, all right? Come on, Katniss.” His arm encircles me and guides me back into the Justice Building. - Protective Peeta! Also, I think it’s interesting to note the wording of Peeta’s arms “encircling” Katniss and then “guiding” her - his arms surround her, and he’s leading her away from harm (at least to the extent that is in his power - can’t really be safe from harm in Panem, can you?), but it doesn’t seem smothering or oppressive to Katniss in any way -”guide” has more of a connotation of giving direction without force, imo; in contrast, when Katniss talked about her kiss with Gale she mentions she’d never imagined how those hands [...] could as easily entrap me. (Ch. 2, CF); granted, these are two very different situations - the phrasing just stood out to me

“What happened?” Effie hurries over. “We lost the feed just after Katniss’s beautiful speech, and then Haymitch said he thought he heard gun fire, and I said it was ridiculous, but who knows? There are lunatics everywhere!” - Very telling how a clueless Capitolite like Effie wouldn’t register the rebellious aspect of Katniss’s speech; by keeping the Capitolites in the depths of sweet, sweet ignorance while simultaneously harshly trying to curb any spark of rebellion by cutting off the feed, the government is actually drawing the attention of the ignorant Capitolites to the act of rebellion itself (and also letting the people in the districts know that there was something censor-worthy going on); kind of shooting themselves in the foot here

As far as I know, Haymitch has only been here once, when he was on his Victory Tour decades ago. But he must have a remarkable memory or reliable instincts, because he leads us up through a maze of twisting staricases and increasingly narrow halls. [...] Eventually we climb a ladder to a trapdoor. When Haymitch pushes it aside, we find ourselves in the dome of the Justice Building. - I wonder how Haymitch has come to know this part of the Justice Building? Has he been to District 11 more often than Katniss supposes (he is friends with Chaff, after all), did his mentor take him there for some private conversation, or was there a moment during Haymitch’s Victory Tour where he felt so overwhelmed by feelings of guilt and powerlessness that he fled to the most desolate, solitary place he could find?

“I was supposed to fix things on this tour. [...] Calm things down. But obviously, all I’ve done today is get three people killed, and now everyone in the square will be punished.” I feel so sick that I have to sit down on a couch, despite the exposed springs and stuffing. - Obviously, all of this is awful and no one - especially a traumatized, 16-year old girl - should have to suffer carrying such a burden... But also, here we see one of the downsides of Katniss taking sole responsibility for everything - she totally forgot that Peeta might feel responsible too, only that he didn’t even know what’s at stake - which leads us to-

“Then I made things worse, too. By giving the money,” says Peeta. Suddenly he strikes out at a lamp that sits precariously on a crate and knocks it across the room, where it shatters against the floor. “This has to stop. Right now. This - this - game you two play, where you tell each other secrets but keep them from me like I’m too inconsequential or stupid or weak to handle them.”"It's not like that, Peeta-" I begin. "It's exactly like that!" he yells at me. - When kind, gentle Peeta’s mad, you know shit has hit the fan 😳 But also, being passed over/kept out of the loop seems to hit pretty close to home for Peeta (while I would like to know what his home life looked like before the Games, I have to admit that at this point, I’m somewhat afraid I might not be able to handle the truth...). I just think this scene is an important moment that leads to an end of (most of) their detrimental secrecy (hello end-of-CF-Haymitch!) and establishes their little team as such (hence the drawing)

“You’re always so reliably good, Peeta,” says Haymitch. “So smart about how you present yourself before the cameras. I didn’t want to disrupt that.” “Well, you overestimated me. Because I really screwed up today.” - Remember the last time someone overestimated Peeta (Foxface and the berries)? That ended in someone’s death as well... And, Haymitch? ‘Never assume’ applies to you, too!

“Do you think I gave them [Rue’s and Thresh’s families] a bright future? Because I think they’ll be lucky if they survive the day!” Peeta sends something else flying, a statue. I’ve never seen him like this. - Considering that his rebellious act of kindness is now threatening to become a sword of Damocles, hanging over those towards which he wanted to extend his kindness - simply because he’s been kept out of the loop (again)- Peeta’s anger is quite understandable

“Look, boy-” Haymitch begins. “Don’t bother, Haymitch. I know you had to choose one of us. And I’d have wanted it to be her. But this is something different. People are dead out there. More will follow unless we’re very good.” - Peeta doesn’t really care if it’s just his life on the line, but if other people’s lives are at risk? He takes no shit (it’s admirable in one way and deeply concerning in another); also, Peeta is right - while there still is a game to play, it’s not the Games, so different circumstances and rules apply

“From now on, you’ll be fully informed,” Haymitch promises. “I better be,” says Peeta. - Peeta generally is a very cooperative fellow, but don’t ever think he can’t be forceful and stand his ground when it matters!

“Did you choose me, Haymitch?” I ask. “Yeah,” he says. “Why? You like him better,” I say. “That’s true. But remember, until they changed the rules, I could only hope to get one of you out of there alive,” he says. “I thought since he was determined to protect you, well, between the three of us, we might be able to bring you home.” “Oh,” is all I can think to say. - This is such a quiet, sweet moment and also shows that Katniss, Haymitch and Peeta have been some sort of team from the start (also, in their team effort they actually managed to get the both of them back home!)

Everything is happening too fast for me to process it. The warning, the shootings, the recognition that I may have set something of great consequence in motion. The whole thing is so improbable. And it would be one thing if I had planned to stir things up, but given the circumstances... how on earth did I cause so much trouble? - Lol, you’re giving yourself a little too much credit here, Katniss ;) Frankly, the Capitol has been the one to create this powder-keg they are sitting on in the first place - all it needed was a little spark... All these injustices, the humilitation, the pain inflicted... it’s like an elastic rubber band that’s been stretched and stretched - until it snaps

“I’m something of an expert in architectural design, you know?” “Oh yes, I’ve heard that,” says Portia before the pause gets too long. - Bless Portia’s heart, making sure they avoid that awkward silence 😂

Effie looks so distressed that I spontaneously give her a hug. “That’s awful, Effie. Maybe we shouldn’t go to the dinner at all. At least until they’ve apologized.” - Aww, Katniss doing something nice for Effie!😊

Peeta and I join hands. “Haymitch says I was wrong to yell at you. You were only operating under his instructions,” says Peeta. “And it isn’t as if I haven’t kept things from you in the past.” - Peeta sorta apologizing, even acknowledging that he also had kept secrets from Katniss? We love to see it👍 - [...] “I think I broke a few things myself after that interview.” “Just an urn,” he says. - Peetaaa... stop diminishing your own physical injuries! Good thing that Katniss won’t let him: - “And your hands. There’s no point to it anymore though, is there? Not being straight with each other?” I say. “No point,” says Peeta. - Gasp! Honest, open communication as a good basis for a successful relationship? It’s more likely than you think!

“Was that really the only time you kissed Gale?” I’m so startled I answer. “Yes.” With all that has happened today, has that question actually been preying on him? - Peeta, you sly dog! Your priorities 😂

Some crowds have the weary-cattle feel that I know District 12 usually projects at the victors’ ceremonies. But in others - particularly 8, 4, and 3 - there is genuine elation in the faces of the people at the sight of us, and under the elation, fury. - I do think that it’s interesting how D4 is one of the districts being elated to see Peeta + Katniss and displaying such fury, despite being a Career district; just goes to show that, just because their odds are better at winning the Games, doesn’t have to make them more simpatico with the Capitol’s cruelty... (Considering how Finnick knows how to perform CPR, it’s highly likely that people in D4 are also used to awful and precarious working + living situations... maybe that’s exactly why they generally are so robust and do well in the Games; and maybe they are simply not that above joining the other Careers as long as it improves their chances of survival, like Katniss or Thresh had been... worked for a while for Peeta, too)

Effie starts giving me pills to sleep, but they don’t work. [...] Peeta, who spends much of the night roaming the train, hears me screaming as I struggle to break out of the haze of drugs that merely prolong the horrible dreams. He manages to wake me and calm me down. Then he climbs into bed to hold me until I fall back to sleep. After that, I refuse the pills. But every night I let him into my bed. We manage the darkness as we did in the arena, wrapped in each other’s arms. - 😭 Also: Very telling how Capitolite Effie just throws pills at the problem (with the best of intentions, I’m sure), which is an immediate, unpersonal, and superficial solution at best, whereas Peeta holding Katniss, offering comfort, understanding, a sense of safety, and human connection is so much more personal, intimate, and effective (for both of them!)

I personally killed the girl, Glimmer, and the boy from District 1. As I try to avoid looking at his family, I learn that his name was Marvel. How did I never know that? - You know why, Katniss - I suppose that before the Games I didn’t pay attention and afterward I didn’t want to know. - Still, not knowing his name didn’t stop you from humanizing him, Katniss, and that’s important, too

Whatever we do seems too little, too late. Back in our old quarters in the Training Center, I’m the one who suggests the public marriage proposal. Peeta agrees to do it but then disappears to his room for a long time. Haymitch tells me to leave him alone. “I thought he wanted it, anyway,” I say. “Not like this,” Haymitch says. “He wanted it to be real.” - Come on, Katniss, don’t be so callous; Peeta’s just as much of a prisoner here as you! Also, it’s all about being real or not real with these two, isn’t it?

Chapter 6

... you would think that at this moment, I would be in utter despair. Here’s what’s strange. The main thing I feel is a sense of relief. That I can give up this game. [...] That if desperate times call for desperate measures, then I am free to act as desperately as I wish. - Honestly, I think it was pretty short-sighted of Snow to let Katniss know so clearly that she didn’t succeed in her task; she did her utmost and it wasn’t enough - might as well fling caution to the wind now. All bets are off. If there had been still some small chance she could have ‘made things right’, she probably would have been trying harder to comply to his expectations. (I’m sure Snow thought the upcoming implementations of his stricter regime would be enough to keep Katniss in check, but pride comes before a fall ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

It’s essential to get back to District 12, because the main part of any plan will include my mother and sister, Gale and his family. And Peeta, If I can get him to come with us. I add Haymitch to the list. - For such a ‘loner’, Katniss sure has a lot of people that are important to her... And how ironic that Peeta, who she isn’t sure she’ll be able to convince in following her will be a much more willing participant that Gale, who Katniss is pretty much banking on joining her

“You’ll probably have to pass a new law,” I say with a giggle. “If that’s what it takes,” says the president with conspiratorial good humor. Oh the fun we two have together. - The dynamic between Snow and Katniss is so strange; despite the obvious antagonism there is definitely some vibe of interacting with each other at eye level and it’s weird (Sidenote: Is there any law in Panem preventing minors from marrying?)

“I want to taste everything in the room, “ I tell Peeta. [...] “Then you’d better pace yourself,” he says. “Okay, not more than one bite of each dish,” I say. My resolve is almost immediately broken at the first table, which has twenty or so soups - couldn’t have happened to me; I hate soup (like, thick soups I maaaybe can get behind, but clear soup/broth is just flavored water to me, no thanks - then again, I’m a picky eater)

Peeta and I make no effort to find company but are constantly sought out. We are what no one wants to miss at the party. I act delighted, but I have zero interest in these Capitol people. They are only distractions from the food. - Well isn’t that a mood for every social gathering ever (one person I enjoy talking to and lots of food I like? Perfect.)

I pick up a small roasted bird, bite into it, and my tongue floods with orange sauce. Delicious. But I make Peeta eat the remainder because I want to keep tasting things - Katniss seems to like the combination of meat and fruit, huh? (the lamb and plums, now bird and orange sauce) Personally, it’s a combination that’s on thin ice for me; there are only a few dishes with that component I actually like and it took me forever to tolerate them (I don’t know if it’s the texture or the taste, but something makes me apprehensive about it); anyway, Katniss making Peeta eat the rest is such a casual, couple-y thing to do (or at least something you do with someone you feel very comfortable with, I think)

Peeta looks at the glass again and puts it together. “You mean this will make me puke?” My prep team laughs hysterically. “Of course, so you can keep eating,” says Octavia. “I’ve been in there twice already. Everyone does it, or else how would you have any fun at a feast?” I’m speechless, staring at the pretty little glasses and all they imply. - Oh boy, I have a lot of thoughts on this part: A) I just noticed how this is the second delicate/fancy glass/drink that’s bringing about a jarring revelation: first that orange juice with the frilly straw in THG, now these tiny wine-stemmed glasses, B) “Everyone does it” + “how else would you have fun?” are the shittiest reasons I’ve ever heard at a party for doing something stupid you probably don’t want to do (I’m having flashbacks to all the times I had people trying to pressure me into drinking alcohol as a teen - it was even legal, btw - although I insisted that I didn’t like the taste (which I still don’t, to this day); it was tiresome 😑), C) “everyone does it” - the people in the Capitol must have some messed up teeth if that’s a regular occurence (sure, they probably bleach their teeth all the time, but also... they’d really need to, D) the obvious: how effed up that they just puke to stuff in more food when in the districts people literally are dying from starvation?! (and yeah, unequal distribution of resources sadly isn’t just a thing in Panem, I know... but there is something about actively purging yourself just for funsies that’s just extra, well, sick)

All I can think of is the emaciated bodies of the children on our kitchen table as my mother prescribes what the parents cannot give. More food. - God, how awful! How powerless they must feel 😟

And here in the Capitol they’re vomiting for the pleasure of filling their bellies again and again. Not from some illness of body or mind, not from spoiled food. - Ooh, I’ve never noticed before how this passage not only recognizes physical reasons for purging, but also mental reasons! Wouldn’t have necessarily expected Katniss to acknowledge eating disorders like that, tbh... She has become a lot more cognizant and sensitive when mental health issues are concerned

One day when I dropped by to give Hazelle the game, Vick was home sick with a bad cough [...] he still spent about fifteen minutes talking about how they’d opened a can of corn syrup from Parcel Day and each had a spoonful on bread and were going to maybe have more later in the week. How Hazelle had said he could have a bit in a cup of tea to soothe his cough, but he wouldln’t feel right unless the others had some, too. - Aww, Vick is such a sweetheart! Hazelle is raising her kids right!

“Peeta, they bring us here to fight to the death for their entertainment,”I say. “Really, this is nothing by comparison.” “I know. I know that. It’s just sometimes I can’t stand it anymore. To the point where... I’m not sure what I’ll do.” He pauses, then whispers, “Maybe we were wrong, Katniss.” “About what?” I ask. “About trying to subdue things in the districts,” he says. - Peeta’s rebellious nature coming through again!

“Sorry,” he says. He should be. This is no place to be voicing such thoughts. “Save it for home,” I tell him. - I know Katniss means D12, but her phrasing of “home” evokes a more domestic, couple-y connotation again 😊

I don’t want to dance with Plutarch Heavensbee. I don’t want to feel his hands, one resting against mine, one on my hip. I’m not used to being touched, except by Peeta or my family, and I rank Gamemakers somewhere below maggots in terms of creatures I want in contact with my skin. - It’s telling that, while Katniss is not big on being touched aside from her family (does that include Gale? probably? although they hadn’t even really hugged until Katniss had been reaped, so... I dunno), she’s totally fine with Peeta touching her (more than that: remember how good she felt holding his hand again in Ch.4 and how she’s feeling safe in his arms when they are sharing a bed), it says a lot about how comfortable she feels around him

Plutarch steps back and pulls out a gold watch on a chain from a vest pocket. He flips open the lid, sees the time, and frowns. “I’ll have to be going soon.” He turns the watch so I can see the face. “It starts at midnight.” - Honestly, this very subtle hint/foreshadowing of the clock setup of the Quarter Quell arena is simply brilliant! And also, midnight is going to become an important point in time as well from here on out (lightning tree, in the hanging tree song, saving Peeta and the others from the Training Center in the Capitol)

It’s another mockingjay. Exactly like the pin on my dress. Only this one disappears. He snaps the watch closed. “That’s very pretty,” I say. “Oh, it’s more than pretty. It’s one of a kind,” he says. - The disappearing mockingjay on the clock is interesting because A) Plutarch can’t really be flaunting the symbol of rebellion as Head Gamemaker, duh, but also B) the clock arena will be the place where the Mockingjay will disappear (until the rebellion will be able to use her for their cause); and that last comment by Plutarch clearly is aimed at the Mockingjay (Katniss) herself

When I open my eyes, it’s early afternoon. My head rests on Peeta’s arm. I don’t remember him coming in last night. - Okay, Katniss must feel hella safe and used to Peeta joining her in her bed, because apparently she didn’t even wake up when he did, like... I’m a fairly heavy sleeper, but I can’t imagine sleeping so deeply that I wouldn’t jerk awake if someone crawled into my bed while I was snoozing

“No nightmare,” he says. “What?” I ask. “You didn’t have any nightmares last night,” he says. He’s right. For the first time in ages I’ve slept through the night. - Telling how the first time Katniss sleeps through the night is after Snow let her know her performance wasn’t enough; she’s must have been so tense and on edge, desperately trying to calm down the districts and convince Snow, that she hadn’t been able to sleep properly, aside from the obvious sleeping issues she’d have from the PTSD (I’m often that way before an important exam - especially if it’s an oral exam; I get tense just thinking about it 😓)

“I had a dream, though,” I say, thinking back. “I was following a mockingjay though the woods. For a long time. It was Rue, really. I mean, when it sang, it had her voice.” “Where did she take you?” he says, brushing my hair off my forehead. “I don’t know. We never arrived,” I say. “But I felt happy.” - Interesting how in Katniss’s dream, the mockingjay is Rue - lending further credence to the hypothesis that maybe Rue was originally meant to be the Mockingjay (would make Plutarch’s comment of the mockingjay being “one of a kind” a bit more hypocritical/exaggerated/dramatized, which still fits with his flair for propaganda/showmanship... and ultimately, Katniss as the Mockingjay was unique, but that doesn’t mean that the rebellion couldn’t have made someone else their symbol if they needed to); also, Peeta brushing Katniss’s hair off her forehead is so sweet and intimate 😊

After I got home, we [Madge and I] started spending time together. [...] It was a little awkward at first because we didn’t know what to do. Other girls our age, I’ve heard them talking about boys, or other girls, or clothes. Madge and I aren’t gossipy and clothes bore me to tears. But after a few false starts, I realized she was dying to go into the woods, so I’ve taken her a couple of times and showed her how to shoot. She’s trying to teach me the piano, but mostly I like to listen to her play. - Honestly? I’d love to read a fanfic about Katniss and Madge figuring out their friendship (let me know if there already are some!); it’s cute how they end up including each other in their hobbies 😊 Ah, the classic “I’m/We’re not like other girls”, which often is especially prevalent during your teen years (I’d be lying if I said that I haven’t been gulty of this in my past 😅)... Katniss might actually would have benefited from talking with Madge about her boys’ troubles, though... And it’s so funny how Katniss admits that she has no interest in clothes, despite it being her supposed “talent”, while she also admits that she does admire Cinna’s work

... there’s a mob scene. The square’s packed with screaming people, their faces hidden with rags and homemade masks, throwing bricks. Building burn. Peacekeepers shoot into the crowd, killing at random. I’ve never seen anything like it - I... I have. At least on tv... In different places, at different times, but... yeah...

#thgagain #thg #katniss everdeen #peeta mellark #haymitch abernathy #everlark #thg meta #my sketches and drawings #honestly there were so many scenes in these 3 chapter that I wanted to draw... but I barely had the time for these 2 #Catching Fire is just chock-full with interesting/important moments... my book is more post-it notes than pages at this point

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sickly-sweet-imagines · 3 years

Note

hey! i've been asking this everywhere but can you do korekiyo, gundham, or nagito x a genderfluid reader? (not all three) i'd prefer fluff and please no nsfw,, also only do this if you're okay with it i'm not really pushy

Definitely! I picked Korekiyo for this, but if you want to come back when requests are opened back up to ask for Gundham or Nagito you absolutely can! Also, I hope you don’t mind that I did these as headcanons- it’s easier for me to get all the ideas I think of in one post that way, but if you want an actual fic you can also definitely come back and request that! 💞

– – – – –

Korekiyo is extremely accepting of your identity and he isn’t afraid to show it

He’ll ask how you’re feeling throughout the day and the pronouns he uses will change at the drop of a hat if you say you’re leaning towards one or another

He may ask you a lot of questions, but it’s just because he wants to understand your experience

Listen, he’s a very curious person and he wants to know all he can about people and how they behave

Especially you since you mean so much to him

He’ll cool it if you tell him the questions are getting uncomfortable or invasive, but he’ll probably wind up asking permission to ask more another time

If you see a notebook full of comments about you don’t panic, it’s not as creepy as it seems

Or, well, maybe it is- it’s a lot of entries about the way you walk, your body language, the way your voice sounds when you talk to different people

But he can’t help wanting to observe you, he loves you and the subject of his affections is most certainly the most enjoyable thing to observe

He has a couple pages devoted to your identity, mostly about which pronouns you prefer and how you like to dress depending on how you feel at the time

It’s sweet, as weird as it may seem

He’s very devoted to making you feel safe with him, offering to do things like makeup together when you’re feeling more feminine or lending you some of his clothes if you feel more masculine and can’t find the shirt you want to wear

If people disrespect you about your identity he will have zero patience with them

He’ll scare them off if he has to so he can comfort you

Assuring you that they will be... Taken care of

There’s nothing stopping him from utilizing the help of his classmates either- he’ll request support from any of your friends that happen to be around

And when Korekiyo is as upset as he gets when people hurt you, it’s a little scary to consider refusing the backup request

He will also correct pronouns no matter what

No matter how small the interaction, he will correct them to what you’re comfortable with in that moment

He never lets it change your personal lives together, either

He doesn’t hesitate shifting positions if the way you’re cuddling feels too masculine or feminine for comfort

He wants you to feel safe, because he loves you and he’ll respect you no matter what

If his ultimate talent taught him anything, it’s that people are full of variety and that’s something that should be accepted and celebrated

He absolutely celebrates it with you

#danganronpa #danganronpa v3 #korekiyo shinguji #danganronpa imagines #drv3 imagines #korekiyo imagine #danganronpa x reader #drv3 x reader #korekiyo x reader #headcanons #londonfogevan

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thr-333 · 4 years

Text

Mismatch-Part 11

Bio Dad Bruce Wayne Month 2020

You know... just a trip to the aquarium... what could possibly go wrong?

First < Previous > Next

-----

“Don't you think we should wake him up?” Adrien asks, looking towards Nino’s door.

“Absolutely not,” Marion picks through his sugary cereal, “You may not understand, as a natural morning person, but waking us up is a death sentence,”

“We’re going to be late,” Adrien seems nervous stirring his cereal, Marion tries not to snort, only someone who has their life planned to the minute would think so.

“Then he’ll rush to get ready and be out the door in five minutes,” Marion bites done, trying not to cringe at the sweetness, speaking through his mouthful, “Like any non-morning person does,”

“Wouldn’t it be easier to just get up early?”

“I have no idea how to explain just how wrong you are,”

Marion pushes the bowl away, why Adrien insisted on trying it he had no idea. He goes to double check his bag. He was carrying the miracle box today. It’s compartment taking up half his satchel. Something Klakki seemed annoyed by while Plagg was happy to curl up, like any cat would.

As it got closer to time to leave Adrien keeps glancing at Nino’s door then back to Marion. Marion tries not to smile as he brainstormed names and researched birds. He had found one called Sabine's Gull, tempting but not enough to risk his Maman's life, even if the chances were slim. Adrein keeps reminding Marion of the time, down to the last seven minutes before the bus is meant to leave.

“And three, two,” Marion caught Adrien's attention, “one,”

“I”m Late!” Nino yells from his room, followed by a yelp and some crashing.

Marion chuckles, ignoring Adrien’s ‘I told you so look,’. That was quickly replaced by Marion's one as in only four minutes fifty six seconds Nino was dressed, fed and out the door. They race downstairs, reaching the ground floor to see a crowd outside the building. Marion frowns, they were blocking the way out, and he could see the bus over their heads. Most people held cameras and a few with microphones. They walk outside, trying to push their way to the bus, when Marion spots Marinette in the middle of the crowd.

“Whats going on?” He interrupts Marinette talking with someone rudely shoving a microphone in her face, which filled with relief at seeing him.

“I’ve been trying to explain to these people that-”

“Excuse me but what's your relationship to Bruce Wayne?” A... reporter? cuts Marinette off.

“Bruce Wayne?” Marion casts a confused look to Marinette, “I hardly know him,”

“So he hasn't been a very involved Father?” The reporter asks, and Marion’s does a double take.

“Wh-what?” Marion looks to Marinette who only sighs, “He’s not my Father,”

“Did he tell you to say that?” Another reporter butts in.

“Yes, people who aren’t my Papa usually do,” Marion says sarcastically, pushing the microphone away from his face.

“So he did tell you to say that?” The reporter asks, a glint in their eye that he was most familiar with Alya having when asking Chat Noir questions(when Ladybug wasn't available of course).

“Do you not recognise sarcasm?” He turns to Marinette, “Do they not know sarcasm?”

“No, they also don’t know the term, ‘He’s not my Father,” Marinette chastises, looking at the surrounding crowd like they were three year olds, “and, ‘I already have a Papa’,”

“But you were adopted,” Someone calls out, making Marion reel back and Marinette flinch. Ok. things that are not ok for strangers to talk about; that.

“First of all, it’s creepy that you know that,” Marion snaps, “Second it’s rude to bring that up to a stranger, if at all, and third that doesn't mean that of all people Bruce Wayne is our Father,”

“You heard it here first folks,” A reporter to the side announces, “Confirmation of the Wayne twins,”

“How was that confirmation! Did our english tutor skew us over!?” Marion yells, spinning to Marinette.

“Mari, let’s just go,” Marinette tries to pull him away only to be blocked by multiple reporters all talking-yelling over each other to ask invasive questions.

They were used to reporters as Ladybug and Chat Noir even MDC and MCD, but no one knew anything personal about them. Well mostly. This was not the same. They had apparently done their research as they were shouting out specific questions about their lives. Someone mentioned Chloe asking if the Wayne's were friends with the Mayor of Paris. Marion doubts that, the Wayne's charity work did not line up with the Mayor’s self-serving nature.

They try to ignore any more questions and side step the crowd, slowly making their way to the bus. To their horror the bus pulls away as they reach the curb. Watching the rear window Lila’s smug face is smirking back at their stupor. Neither even have enough sense to reach for their phones before a motorbike pulls up in front of them. The reporters scramble to get out of the way, or get run over.

“Saw the news, thought you could use some rescuing,” Jason pulls off his helmet gesturing to the bike, and the twins hop on, the press snapping pictures like crazy, “Where to?”

“Aquarium, the bus left without us,” Marinette answers, holding onto Marion as they speed away.

Marion can hear Jason mutter unsavoury curses under his breath about the class, and can’t help but agree. They see the bus and Jason speeds up, riding alongside it. No one looks over until Jason practically punches the side. The loud clang making even Marion jump. When their classmates look out to see the twins waving. Marion watches as Kagami starts yelling and the bus signals to pull over. Jason slows down to trail behind the bus as it does. The second the doors open their friends rush out, as the twins get off the bike.

“I’m so sorry,” Adrien frets, “We tried to hold them off,”

“Little miss liar decided that it would be a waste of time waiting for you,” Chloe scoffs, Marion bats her hands away trying to tame his hair himself.

“She convinced everyone you could get your own ride,” Kagami looks like she was planning to throw Lila into traffic.

“We sorta did,” Marion laughs, turning to Jason, “Thanks for that,”

“No problem, didn’t want Bruce picking you up, he’d probably drive you straight to the nearest adoption agency,” Jason pulls his helmet back on, mounting his bike, “Have fun,”

“Thank you,” Marinette calls, and they both wave goodbye.

“Marinette, Marion, please get on the bus we are already very late,” Madam Bustier reprimands, looking out the bus door.

They shuffle back onto the bus, the entire class, minus Max, looking annoyed, if not angry. They bus starts up again, tempting Marion to just walk. Instead he holds onto the bar, Marinette next to him, letting the others take back their seats. The one next to Adrien noticeably empty.

“Was that really necessary?” Alya speaks first, passive aggressive, leaning into the aggressive.

“Well, the bus left, so yeah?” Marion asks, He would be confused why they were angry when they should be upset. But he knew exactly what happened; Lila.

“Only because you stopped to chat with the reporters,” Rose says not unkindly, she has a reassuring look as if there was no ill intentions. There probably wasn't, from her, the rest of the class was hit or miss, mostly hit.

“We weren't trying-”

“It was quite inconsiderate,” Lila cuts Marinette off, ��I get hounded by reporters day in, day out but I always do my best to make sure they never come near or disrupt the class,”

Marion could almost snort at that, Lila giving herself away without even knowing it. No reporter would stop trying to corner her if anything she says were really true. Lila bats her eyelashes and gets agreements from the class, Which as per usual spurs her on.

“I mean it’s one thing to spread that awful lie , but to actually call the press to sabotage our trip?” Lila fakes a sniffle at the end. Marion can’t help but suspect she had more to do with this morning than he realised.

“We didn’t do anything, and we certainly didn’t call them,” Marinette says defensively, calmly but visibly restraining her anger. And it Marinette was angry Marion was livid.

“Right and every time your with the Waynes there just happen to be cameras around?" Sabrina sneers, arms crossed Marion glowers down at her. He holds his hand out to Kagami who stands to argue, she sits down begrudgingly.

"Not to mention you've never even mentioned the Waynes before, while Lila has known them for years," Nathaniel mutters, not meeting Marion's gaze as it snaps to him.

"If you want to say something just say it," Marion addresses the whole class, opening the flood gates.

“You’re just looking for attention!” Kim stands up, slamming his hands onto the seat in front of him, startling Mylene.

“Attention?!” Marion rears back, he can feel the anger radiating from his friends behind him.

“Yeah! your jealous of Lila knowing the Waynes so your trying to ruin the trip for her!" Kim points at Marion, although he suspected he meant both of them.

"We know your just trying to distract everyone from the charity she set up in Gotham, so she doesn't get any recognition!" Mylene accuses, genuine rage and hurt behind it.

"The Mayor of Gotham even cancelled the celebration for Lila because you two are causing so much trouble," Rose cries, voice quivering.

"She was going to invite the whole class! Even you two!" Sabrina spits, yeah right.

"You're filling the news up with Tabloid lies!" Alya joins, yelling over Madame Bustiers meek protests.

“What the?!" Marion re orientates himself from the barrage, "Those are all lies! how can you not see that?"

“Don’t start this again, I thought you were over the whole liar thing?" Alya half demands, half mutters.

“We’d be ‘over it’ is she stopped lying!" Marion's eyes follow where his finger points, smug grin churning his stomach uneasily.

“Thats rich coming from you," Kim scoffs, bitter tone so unlike his usual default rage or cheer.

“ What," Marion turns to him, but only gets a glare back.

“You two are always lying to get out of class and school events," Ivan answers for him. Well that was true but they couldn’t admit it.

“Thats not-

“Save it we know you can’t stand to be around us," Juleka cuts off Marinette, her sour tone practically screaming compared to her normal volume. Also true but probably for different reasons then they think.

“If you spread this whole rumour as a way to get out of the trip, fine, do that, but don’t keep disrupting out trip for your five minutes of fame," Alix startles Marion by cutting in. She usually didn't speak to anyone anymore, let alone Lila.

“Five minutes of fame?- spread the rumour? Do you honestly think we wanted this?” Marinette doesn't expect an answer.

“Yes,” It came from Alya, cold and bitter. With one look at Marinette he could tell exactly what his sister was remembering.

Alya has pretty much migrated to Lila after plans being cancelled with Marinette one to many times. After which marintte tried to organise another plan but Alya told her in the nicest way possible(Still pretty crushing) that she would perfer to hang out wwiht lie la and that she and Mari had drifted apart. Mari does point out that this isn’t fair but Alya says she deserves better than a secondary plan, Mari points out that Alya had done that plenty of times. Alya agrees, apologies and lists it as another reason they should renounce their friendship. The rest of the class:

Marinette bounces up to her best friend. She finally had a weekend off, so concerts, no urgent commissions and her manager promised to keep it that way. The only thing that could interrupt this weekend was Hawkmoth himself. Marion even offered to take her earrings.

"Hey Alya are you free-"

"No," It's a single word, but spoken with such resentment and conviction it couldn't be missed,

"I didn’t-" Marinette's face scrunches, was dark Cupid on a rampage again?

"No Marinette I’m done, done with making plans, getting excited only to be cancelled or stood up, I’m done,” The aspiring reporter sounds so strangely defeated, completely unlike herself.

“Alya I’m so sorry about last week-” Marinette apologises again, gut twisting at the though she hurt her best friend this badly.

“It’s not just last week, its the one before and the one before that and every other week, I’m sick of it!” Alya spits, meeting Marinette's eyes for the first time, seeing nothing but rage and hurt.

“Alya I'm really sorry, I’ve had a lot going on and-” Marinette frets, gesturing wildly.

“I know Marinette, you’ve been busy in the bakery and with your designs and every other excuse you've given me, I deserve better,”

“Of course you do Alya, I promise I-”

“No, Marinette its fine,” Alya sounds tired, stepping away from Marinette's outstretched hand, “We’ve been drifting apart for a long time now and I’m tired of acting like nothings changed, I can’t keep putting more effort into this friendship, more time than you, I have friends who are actually there for me, like Lila,”

At that Marinette saw red. Of course it was Lila who put her up to this, whispering in her ear, turning Alya against Marinette.

“That’s not fair! Your not even giving me a chance!” Marinette snaps, her jaw tenses as Alya glares.

“I’ve given you plenty of chances,” Alya glowers.

“Why is this the first I’m hearing of it,” Marinette crosses her arms.

“I shouldn’t have to threaten to end our friendship for you to show up!” Alya shouts, taking a step forward as Marinette stumbles back.

"What did Lila say?!" There was no way Alya would say this, would do this, they were meant to stick together through thick and thin, "Is she making you do this?!"

"So help me- yes Lila talked to me!" Alya throws her hands up, "But not because she's out to get you, like your so convinced, but because she's a good friend who cares when I come crying over getting stood up by you!"

“You’ve cancelled on me plenty of times!” Marinette defends, she had her blog and Marinette was always understanding.

“I know and I’m sorry,” Alya takes a deep breath, “I don’t think either of us are being fair to each other, it’s better to just renounce our friendship before it all comes crashing down,”

“Alya please," Marinette begs, reaching out, tears pricking her eyes.

“I’m sorry Marinette but this is the right decision for me,” Alya walks away, not looking back at the tears streaming down her former friends face, “and I hope in time you’ll realise it was the right thing for you too,”

Marion remembers that day so well. Marinette coming home crying, the Akuma. Bunnix jumping into their room followed by the adult version of them, with miraculous holders he didn’t recognise. They battle with an akumatized Ladybug was tough, even with the extra help. The Akuma was cleansed and the rest of Paris had their memories wiped, leaving Marion the only one in their time who remembers. He never brought it up to Marinette and he never will.

“Well your wrong, we worked hard to get this trip and why would we want to ruin it?" Marion answers, Marinette remaining silent.

“Please we all know you stole Lila’s work," Sabrina rolls her eyes, Marion catches Chloe scowling at her.

“Wh-what!” Marinette splutters, Marion tries to keep his mouth shut.

“I’m sorry, I accidentally let slip that I wrote up the essay to get us this trip,” Lila bats her eyes, curling in on herself as if they're going to attack her for it. Marion just might.

“You don’t have to apologise for anything Lila," Alya places a comforting hand on her shoulder, "They stole the essay you worked so hard, one that you managed to write even when setting up a charity!"

“I wasn't doing to impress everyone, I just wanted everyone to get to go on this amazing trip, so when you two said you weren’t going to make a submission because it was so much work, I just had to, but at least you sent it in, I couldn't do that since I’m not class president,

“Maybe she should be," Marion doesn't care who muttered it, it doesn't matter.

“That's it,” The entire class freezes, at his tone or expression, doesn't matter, they don't matter, “Marinette worked hard day and night trying to get that submitted on time, she had to research and find all the information and evidence to what this class has done because none of you would talk to her and give all the details, you refused to help out in even the most minuscule ways, No not even! you all actively made it harder!”

“Thats not-

“Enough!” Marion hones in on Lila who falls quite for once, “You lie and scheme and take credit for whats not yours, you treat the class like a bunch of mindless sheep and you know what? I’m starting to see why,”

“Marion,” Madame Bustier reprimands, finally being heard in the following silence “That is quite enough thats no example for your friends-”

“They aren’t my friends,” Marion sends a cold look over the bus, “None of them are,”

The class goes silent. Marion wouldn’t be surprised if that came as a shock to most of them. Despite them not ever talking or spending time together. It was true that the only person who had truly cut them out was Alya, probably because Marinette kept trying even after they had long since stopped with their class. Mostly he was sure they were shocked that he was the one breaking it off, not even giving them a say. They didn’t deserve one. Not that they weren't going to try.

“Fine then! I don’t want anything to do with you anyway!”

“Yeah! You act like a complete jerk then have the gall to say that?”

“We haven't been friends for a long time anyway!”

“You’re nothing but mean to Lila and think we want to be friends?!”

“Don't go forgetting you said that when your all alone!"

He sits down and resolutely stares out the window. More insults are hurled out, Marion paying no mind to the source. Madame Busiter tries to reprimand him for saying 'such hurtful things;. Lila is sobbing and everyone is offering her pointless comfort. Marion doesn't listen but is vaguely aware of Kagami and Chloe arguing with the teacher. He lets the hushed whispers fall behind him. He feels a push against his thigh where his bag rests, knowing it’s Plagg. The small comfort doing nothing.

He notices the bus is driving faster than strictly allowed. He looks over to the bus driver and feels bad for the clearly uncomfortable man stuck right in the middle of their teenage angst.

They arrive at the aquarium. Marion doesn't even try to hide his anger. Let Lila revel in his reaction. His friends try to calm him down, or rather Adrien does, Chloe and Kagami are still glaring daggers. Luckily Marinette convinces Adrien to stop before Marion snaps at him.

He catches a group near them whispering and pointing with their phones held up. Marion sends his deadliest glare and they immediately back off, scuttling off to some other area of the aquarium.

He is left alone after that. Adrien has redirected his attention to cheering Marinette up, the two pointing out fish. Seeing them smiling together Marion feels some anger slip through his grasp. Only to be promptly returned when he accidentally looks over at Lila’s gaggle, whispering and glaring. Marion glares right back making a few of them flinch. He turns and storms off to another part of the aquarium, away from the rest of the class.

“Hey kid you alright?” A fair distance away Plagg whispers from his bag.

“No! Obviously not!” Marion whisper-shouts, not looking down.

“Want to get out of here?” Now Marion does look down at Plagg grinning.

Klakki is off to the one side of the bag, looking up but not interrupting. He and the Kwami are close but they all knew he and Plagg were two halves of a whole. So the other Kwami let him handle it.

“Can’t exactly go running around Gotham right now,” Marion comes to stand in the typical tunnel that you see in aquariums, surrounded on both sides by colourful fish and a few larger creatures like stingrays and sharks.

“We can go back to Paris,” Plagg offers, he glances down at the bag to see Klakki nod.

The Kwami usually didn’t like their miraculous being used for anything but heroics. Still he got a sure nod from Klakki. Marion takes a deep breath, looking out to the fish swimming around the tank, darting in and out of coral. He forced down his anger in the same way he would in Paris. He usually didn’t let himself stay angry that long, or Marinette would help him calm down sooner.

“It’s fine,” Marion sighs, pushing the anger, or rather, his class out of mind, “I’m fine,”

Plagg doesn't comment on his obvious lie, all too used to it. He sees Plagg dart into his pocket out the corner of his eye. Marion smiles, zipping his bag back up with a smile at Klakki who gives a curt nod. He stuff his hands into his hoodie’s pocket and feels the small Kwami inside. Marion lets a small smile settle on his face. Looking out at the fish as he is pulled along by the conveyor belt as he pets Plagg purring from his pocket.

His smile only fades when he notices the rest of the class enter the tunnel, looking from the other side of the glass. He makes no move to join them, even when his friends do a minute later. He turns to look at the other side of the tunnel, doing his best to avoid them.

This becomes the least of his problems when gunshots ring. He ducks down on the non moving part of the sidewalk. Screams can be heard and he looks up through the tank where the class is still in view. Marinette is looking around for him and he curses himself, not being able to change into costume without her. Voices get closer and Marinette starts herding the class further down the tunnel, Marion losing sight of them behind coral. He moves to meet to her when two men each in a gas mask and carrying guns enter the tunnel.

“Where are the Wayne twins!” One yells, another shot making those near scream.

“You know, I’m starting to think Aunt Selina doesn't have this handled,” Marion mutters to Plagg, staying where he is to keep the thugs in sight.

“Forget about that, this won’t end well,” Klakki scolds, Marion watches as the thugs start walking in opposite directions.

“Tell me about, Lila’s going to have a field day,” Marion pulls his hood up, losing sight of the goon going towards the class, focusing now on the one heading his way.

“Not the point,” Klakki sighs, Marion zips up the bag realising he also has the Miracle box.

He throws the satchel on his back tightening the strap across his chest. Plagg was complaining, but Marion only ignores him watching the oncoming goon. He was pointing his gun at some people but wasn’t looking at their faces. Probably clothes then, there were probably plenty of pictures of what they were wearing today. Perfect.

Marion takes off his Jacket followed by his hoodie. He debates keeping his staff for a split second but quickly stuffs it in his satchel followed by his gloves. Turing both his hoodie and Jacket inside out to matching black, he ties the hoodie around his waist and shrugs on the jacket.

He lies down on the moving sidewalk slowly moving him towards the thug. Marion hugs his bag and covers his face. He tenses at the heavy footsteps going by as he slowly moves past. The goon doesn't even stop and he makes a mental note to thank Marinette. He feels the turn of a corner and rolls up onto the unmoving part to the side. Keeping his head below the glass, he crouches down running as fast as he can while refastening his satchel around his chest.

“Found one!” Marion hears a yell just as he reaches the entrance.

He ducks to the side just as all eyes in the room snap to where he was. Marion shrinks into the shadow of a fish tank just outside the entrance, ducking down and covering his head. If anyone actually saw him in his now all black outfit they could easily shrug it off as just missing him the first time.

Marion doesn't look up as people go past, no one noticing him in the shadows. He waits for a few cautious seconds for any more footsteps to go by before scanning the room. There's many civilians huddled around, the nearest security exit being covered by another thug in a gas mask, a trend it seems.

Alright plan time, Marinette can handle herself for a few minutes. Presumably these guys are working for Scarecrow if the gas masks are any indication. Scarecrow was probably with Marinette in the tunnel. If he clears an exit quietly here then he can get the civilians closest to the fight out of danger. It could also provide an entrance to whoever comes to save them.

There's no other thugs in the room so he moves silently, sticking to the shadows to get close to the emergency exit. Luckily the goon is distracted by an octopus in a nearby tank so Marion stays out of his line of sight. He gets up behind the goon, not breathing, and pounces. One hand unlatches the gas mask and covers his mouth and the other grabbing the hand holding the gun. He digs his fingers hard enough into his hand to make the wrist bleed and the gun is dropped. Marion catches it with one foot, balancing as much as possible with the man thrashing in his grip. He gently lowers the gun to the ground so it doesn't clatter. Letting go of his wrist, nails bloody Marion brings his arm around his neck. Squeezing for a minute until the goon passed out. Marion gently lowers him to the ground.

“Quietly,” He hisses to the room.

They do get up quietly. Parents with children covering their mouths as they exit. Marion makes sure they're all a good ways down the hall before tracking back to the tunnel. He can see them through the glass and as he predicted there was Scarecrow, in a very familiar monologue stance. A glimpse at Marinette's expression was all the confirmation he needed. He heads in the same direction as the moving walkway, knowing he’ll be in a blind spot.

“Still not answering,” Marion catches Scarecrow say, stopping as soon as he can hear them, “I think it’s time you screamed so he knows this is serious,”

“Going to show me the rest of your wardrobe?”

Marion's smirk quickly fades with the tell tale snap of a bone breaking. He sprints down the tunnel. Marinette groans. Marion rounds the corner. His sister holding her arm, bending at an unnatural angle. The rest of the class are huddled to the sides with various degrees of horror.

Marion doesn't give Scarecrow enough time to consider trying anything else before he attacks the nearest goon. They shout out and Marion blindly throws quick punches at whoever gets to close. The belt is moving along, Marion now being surrounded by his classmates. Kim cheers as he sends a particularly brutal punch into one guy's face. Marion hears the hiss of a guns release, looking up to see Scarecrow pointing a gun at the now very quiet Kim. Marion anticipates the shot, diving in the bullets path before it can reach its target.

There's a gasp from somewhere, someone. He feels a burst not of pain, but fear. It’s something he's used to Akuma doing, dragging up all his anxieties from the recesses of his mind. Marion shuts his eyes tight, visions dancing across the darkness. He takes a practiced slow breath. He had learnt long ago that letting fear take hold in battle would only lead to fantasy becoming reality.

Marion cracks open his eyes, focusing on where he was. They were still on the belt moving slowly. Everything around him was warped from a few seconds ago but he was still standing in the narrow-too narrow tunnel.

Alright then what is reality. Giant sharks jumping out at him? No, there’s glass. Swarm of purple butterflies? No this is Gotham they probably don’t have flowers. The past Akuma? Just regular people. Marinette covered in blood? She only broke her arm. His parents dead on the floor? They are in Paris. Lila with devil horns cackling? Probably reality.

He takes another calming breath, nothing but the images of Akuma mattered here. But there were dozens more than there had been people a minute ago so some were fake. He could still work with this. Marion takes a deep breath straightening up. The Hawkmoth in front of him looks surprised, he had to guess that was his stand in for Scarecrow right now.

He stumbles a step forward. The akumatized versions of his classmates jeer, most yelling things he had heard that day. The first Akuma leaps out at him, Marion decks him, the weight under his fist feels real and the Akuma goes right down. Focusing his fear on the fight part of fight of flight, he goes to punch the second Akuma with as much force. The blow goes right through the image and Marion stumbles forward. Alright so there were definitely fakes. Marion tousles with any Akuma that comes after him, sometimes landing hits on empty air. It’s typically the more difficult Akuma that are real, so Marion almost scoffs when Mr Pigeon comes at him. He doesn't even block the blow to his ribs. Big mistake, he is kicked back with a burst of pain and a sickening crack.

‘Alright so that was real’ Marion thinks to himself, back connecting with the glass behind him. He falls forward, right on his chest. Marion groans into the metal below, losing focus, letting images of Akumas flying into his ring play on loop. Marion can feel pressure at his back but is far too focused on trying to heave air back into his lungs to care. The weight lifts and Marion watches Marinette's akumatized form crash in front of him, punching what looks like Viperion. Not sure if it's a memory or not he shudders a breath as she knocks out Viperion and leans over Marion.

“Good job C, I’ve got it from here,” Marinette words come out sickeningly sinister, blood running out her eyes and mouth. A great contrast to how she gently pushes him onto his side, making it somewhat easier to breathe.

Marion watches as the twisted version of his sister attacks what looks like civilians. Part of him itches to get up to stop her. Marinette's arm hangs limply at her side. He focuses on that. an Akuma's arm wouldn’t be broken. Civilians wouldn’t have guns. Marinette dodges the bullets instead of deflecting them. Bullets wouldn’t just go through sharks with more rows of teeth than possible. Water doesn't look like blood.

Marion takes a deep breath, his chest burst with pain. It’s fine he can handle that. And with that Marion notices his body bending at an odd angle. He looks down ignoring the corpses of his family laying around him. His legs are still propped up on the unmoving part of the sidewalk. With a grunt Marion pulls them onto the moving part, still not comfortable on top of the shifting plates.

Marion hears screaming, more grounded than the shrieks that have been playing in his head so far. Looking back to Marinette she looked like herself again, yay. But now Hawkmoth was pointing a gun at their friends, oh no. Why would Hawk Moth have a gun? Oh right, fear toxin. Marinette surrenders, letting Mayura come up behind and hold her.

“You have been a pain,” Hawkmoth drawls, Marion hisses, drawing his attention, “Well, it’s not like we need both of you alive,”

The gun points at him, Marinette is shouting but it sounds under water. Marion's visions clear slightly, focusing in on the slow press of the trigger. At the last second the gun jerks to the side, the sound of glass breaking followed by a stream of water landing on Marion. He looks up to see Chloe has tackled Hawkmoth and Kagami is after Mayura.

Fighting breaks out again, he tries to refocus. He closes his eyes, he can hear the same echoing shrieks and cries for help, accusations and insults. Cold water beats down on his side and slowly moves down his leg. He tries to take a deep breath, only to inhale water. Marion's eyes snap open to what looks like a pool of blood as he is cast into a coughing fit, his chest screaming in protest.

“Are you ok!” Kagami yells, Marion looks up to where they were only for the space to be empty. He looks back down the tunnel where they are now fighting, streams of water jetting out from the walls in all directions.

Marion keeps coughing, trolling onto his back to get away from the water. When he's done he takes short shallow breaths, chest still throbbing with pain. He looks back up and is now a fair way from the fight, about to go around the corner.

“Don’t worry I’ll be back in five minutes!” he shouts, hair dripping water in his eyes. That doesn't stop him from seeing Marinette's clearly deadpan face, that cant even be hidden by all the blood.

He lies back, looking up at the ceiling. Or rather Jaws' source of envy grinning down at him. Well at least that's better- oh nope that's his family floating dead in the water. He just sighs ignoring his chest protest, staring right back into the sharks beady black eyes. He remember the good old days where he would tease Marinette over her demented nightmare version of Adrien, who now that he though of also appeared in the water, banging on the glass shouting for help. Marion sticks his tongue out at him.

The minutes drag on Marion trying to be more fascinated than terrified with whatever his mind conjured. It was easier to calm down when the scene wasn't changing every ten seconds.

“Are you ok?” Batman is looming over him, Marion stares unimpressed at the blood dripping from his sharp teeth. A vampire? Really? His nightmares could be so uncreative.

“I’m fine,” Marion keeps his face straight at the nightmare before him, “Go ahead I’ll catch up,”

“You should stay here,” Batman reprimands, voice sounding like a growled threat, probably was.

“Don’t really have much choice,” Marion dismisses, trying not to cringe at the ‘blood’ dripping onto his face.

Marion leans back slightly to watch Batman join Robin running down the tunnel. Marion hears more gunshots seconds later. He hums to himself stubbornly ignoring his chest.

“Dude are you ok?” Nino is now leaning over him, hollowed out eyes and shadows behind him shouting about Marion's insecurities.

“Leave me demon,” Marion watches him reel back, he would probably look confused if Marion could actually read his face.

“We need to move you-”

“Do not,” Marion cuts him off, glaring down at Kim or at least a demon that looked like him trying to pick him up, “My ribs are very much broken and moving would hurt very much right now, thank you,”

“But you’re heading right for the villain!” Mylene shouts, voice sounding hollow, drowned out by echoing screams.

“Then I hope they don’t step on me, good day,” Marion focuses back on the shark which is somehow easier to deal with than his class.

“Everyone we need to go,” Lila's voice sounds normal, and that's probably the worst thing he's heard today, “Batman said-”

“We’re not just going to leave him here!” Kim shouts. Actually shouts. At Lila. Marion can’t keep the smile off his face.

“Kim, just go get an ambulance or something, right now you’re all freaking me out,” Marion says honestly, tired of sugar coating his words. Lila gives them enough sugar to get diabetes as is.

“A-are you sure?” Max asks, or a strange mix between him and Markov.

“Yes floating head I’m sure, now go,”

“... stay safe,” Nino hesitantly stands.

“Don’t really have a choice in the matter,” Marion doesn't bother watching them go.

He hears the last of their footsteps retreat and glances up at the shark. A petty part of him categories that as the second time they’ve left him today. Then again he was staring up at his personal hell so his thought process wasn’t exactly un hindered.

Marion keeps humming, noticing a knocked out thug to his side, followed by another.

“Why did you come back?” Robin snarls from above him, horns sprouting from his head.

“I didn’t by choice,” Marion says calmly as Robin throws a knife he doesn't care to keep track of, “Moving sidewalk brought me,”

“Why didn’t you get off?” Robin talks down to him like an idiot child, punching an approaching goon.

“Oh yeah, my ribs are broken,” Marion tries to shrug, lying on his back it’s hard.

“What!?” Robin thunders, the sound sending warning flares off in his paranoid state.

“Oh look at that,” Marion says, idly watching a man come up behind Robin, who apparently isn't an apparition because Robin attacks him, “Well, see ya,”

Marion is carried away, leaving the two behind.

He flinches back when Batman steps over him, attacking Scarecrow on his other side.

“What are you doing?” He growls, Marion can’t be sure if that's the fear toxin or how he usually speaks.

“Thought you could use the moral support,” Marion gives a lazy cheer as Batman punches Scarecrow. Getting a glare from Batman he had become quite accustomed to the night before. This Batman looked demented but there was the same lingering satisfaction of annoying him.

“Hey Mari,” Marinette crouches down next to him, covered in blood he can’t be sure isn’t real, but at least she's not dead in a fish tank, “How’re you holding up,”

“You’re covered in blood,” Marion blurts as she starts bleeding more.

“No I’m not, don’t worry I’m fine, just wait a second,” Marion runs over to Batman, distracting him from stopping Scarecrow from standing. Batman looks over at him before handing Marinette a needle.

“Oh sure use needles, one of the most common fears, to fix fear, what a grand idea,” Marion mutters, glaring back at Batman as Scarecrow attacks with a knife.

“Ah ha, stop complaining,” Marinette sticks the needle right in his arm without warning, Marion gasps visions fading into darkness.

“That…. was rude,” He weakly curses, feeling his conscious fade.

“You’ll forgive me,” Marinette promises sitting by his side as his eyes droop, “Get some rest, I’ll watch out for you,”

“Always do, Bug,” Marion slurs, Marinette's bright smile contrasts the darkness that follows.

#miraculous #miraculous ladybug #miraculous ladybug fic #bio mum selina #bio dad bruce wayne #Bio Dad Bruce Wayne Month 2020 #Mismatch #Marinette #marinette is mdc #twins au #vigilante au #pop star au #bio dad au #bio! dadbrucewaynemonth2020 #b!dbwm2020 #Maribat #mlb

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arecomicsevengood · 4 years

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QUARANTINE MOVIES PART FOUR

It’s wild to watch any movie knowing that none will be made for the foreseeable future, and that the whole collective experience of filmgoing might be dead. I tend to have a certain sad, scared lonely feeling when I contemplate the future at night, and while I attempt to put off by watching movies, it only partly works. Now, more than ever, movies are a larger part of my processing of the world than the ongoing conversations I have with friends.

Smithereens (1982) dir. Susan Seidelman

There is something particularly powerful about movies where people run around, socializing. These things are pretty resonant with my youth, but “youth” in this broad sense that just means “the before times,” because if there’s anything quarantine is bringing home it’s the importance of a form of adulthood based around domestic partnerships with someone you like and having “real jobs” that can translate to telecommuting. Of course, socializing of the sort no longer allowed is really useful, and shouldn’t be written off as youthful frivolity. Smithereens is not a particularly romantic movie: While it might be famous for being “punk” in a “cool” way, documenting young New York nightlife in a way where David Wojnarowicz’s band 3 Teens Kill 4 is on a club’s marquee, it’s really about young people as these sort of upwardly-mobile opportunists with no real talent trying to exploit one another for a mixture of sex and social clout, and ignoring those who are not actively useful to them. It’s a useful document of people being shitty where the appeal now is how cool they look, and it’s interesting to watch in this moment where I’m worried that the whole idea of community will be lost very soon, in a way we won’t even be able to articulate. We’ll all be scrambling for jobs and security but everything will be further hollowed out, and we’ll be left with an even more vicious and dog-eat-dog citizenry. So a movie like this has nostalgic appealing, but by depicting the seeds of what will only become more widespread problems, it avoids feeling dated or idealistic.

Gloria (1980) dir. John Cassavetes

Oh shit this movie rules! I was under the impression I disliked Cassavetes, based on the others I had seen, and watching the first twenty-odd minutes reminded me of why: Sort of circular conversations, involving a lot of people being upset with one another. But this ends up feeling more like a movie, and less like a play. Once Gena Rowlands kills a carful of people I was completely on board. She’s great in this, playing opposite a child, who is also amazing in it, tons of dialogue that should be quotable: “You’re not my mother, my mother was beautiful” being but one amazing bit of poetry. Both extremely cute and extremely badass from moment to moment, the parts of this movie are in tension with one another where it also feels like it’s going from strength to strength, and ever scene, every moment, is great. Incredible music, and also great documentation of a world that doesn’t exist anymore, of telephone booths, smoking sections, and places that’ll develop photos for you. Highest possible recommendation.

The Naked City (1948) dir. Jules Dassin

Seemingly the first movie to be shot on location throughout New York, rather than studio backlots, and it milks the city for all its worth, shifting frequently from one location to another, introducing to new characters. Initially guided by omniscient narration but quickly focusing to become a police procedural. I knew Dassin from Rififi but this feels more exciting, I would gladly watch movies bite the techniques from this every few decades, though Gloria does a good job of moving through the streets of New York in a less-contrived way. There was a Naked City TV show ten years later, shot on location and focusing on a police precinct.

Near Dark (1987) dir. Kathryn Bigelow

I consider this Kathryn Bigelow’s best movie, but circumstances have not led me to watch it as many times as I’ve seen Point Break, so the memories I’ve retained of it were kind of inaccurate: Specifically, the thing I thought of as the climax, the part at the hotel where light is getting shot through the blankets taped up to cover windows, happens like halfway through. Screenwriter Eric Red wrote this at the same time as he wrote The Hitcher, and that’s another one that just GOES, moving from one scene to another where they all have this climactic intensity constantly but the scale is shifting of what you’re invested in? The Hitcher is a nightmare and this is more of an action movie. People point out this movie has a bunch of the cast from Aliens but I didn’t realize there’s a shot where Aliens is actually on the marquee of a theater. I also wonder if this whole horror/action/western/but with vampires thing was an inspiration to Garth Ennis? I kinda feel like the pacing I find so powerful could not really be sustained over the length of an extended comic run.

Hero (1992) dir. Stephen Frears

Dustin Hoffman plays a criminal schlub, doing a weird voice. It’s almost like he was told that the role was written for Sylvester Stallone, but Stallone’s insistence on getting a writing credit on every movie he acts in complicated the premise in a weird way, so Hoffman just attempts a Stallone impression. One of his few redeeming characteristics is he’s a loving father, but that isn’t why he’ll remind you of your dad. Maybe most men are just Dustin Hoffman doing impersonations of Sylvester Stallone! From 1992, so Hoffman’s I guess in a post-Rain-Man mode, but the film also feels very early nineties in its commentary on television news turning stories into celebrities, and an analysis of the problems with professional cynicism that seem very much of their time. It’s not like a more sophisticated critique has found its way into any mainstream film I can think of, we’ve just stopped thinking about these issues, as they’ve become much worse. Joan Cusack’s good as his Hoffman’s ex-wife, and Susie Cusack’s good as his lawyer. I would like to see Susie Cusack in more things! Geena Davis plays a television reporter, Andy Garcia plays a decent guy who is a contrast to Hoffman, there’s also small roles for the likes of Stephen Tobolowsky and Tom Arnold, really placing this in a moment of time.

The Age Of Innocence (1993) dir. Martin Scorsese

I didn’t like this one, for all the obvious reasons: I don’t like costume dramas about rich people, and I don’t like Daniel Day-Lewis. It’s an Edith Wharton adaptation, all about a world of well-mannered old money with very rigidly defined rules of behavior. Michelle Pfeiffer plays the true love Day-Lewis is kept from by the mores of the day, and part of her romantic appeal is she’s able to see through the rituals and make fun of them, while Winona Ryder fully buys into them, and thus reaps the benefits. Everything is repressed, all behavior is affect, this is of course the point but very much not my thing. There’s also a lot of a narrator reading the text of the book while the camerawork fades between lavishly composed image, while the cinematography probably looked great on a big screen I would still be very anxious about getting to the storytelling.

Experiment In Terror (1962) dir. Blake Edwards

This one starts off super-intensely, with a home invasion scene, the sense of horror in this is palpable but the fear is just used as this blackmail structure for some noir stuff? It straggles the genre line pretty well, feeling weird because of this horror energy of sheer creeping malevolence defines it. This is also considerably longer than most of the other film noir I’ve watched recently, because those moments extend and take away from the sense of a building plot, to instead feel like they might derail it. Lee Remick is the lead, and she is this terrified victim, which makes the film more interesting than if it were focused on the cop played by Glenn Ford. The main character’s younger sister gets kidnapped at one point, it gets creepy. The climax occurs at a end of a crowded baseball game, and there’s shots that I assume were done via helicopter, which seems like it would’ve upped the budget considerably.

The Harder They Fall (1956) dir. Mark Robson

Humphrey Bogart stars as a former sports writer, working to drum up publicity for a fresh-off-the-boat boxer who does not know how to fight, but is naively participating in fixed matches, for the economic benefit of the mob. While the boxer is being exploited and making no money, despite his celebrity; Bogart is being well-compensated to sell out his conscience and he is very good at playing a dude in moral conflict with himself, struggling to do the decent thing. While this isn’t the best boxing movie, or the best Bogart, it’s still pretty good.

The Devil And Miss Jones (1941) dir. Sam Wood

Heard about this one in the context of it having good politics. It’s about a rich guy who goes undercover at a department store hoping to bust the union only to realize that the guy organizing the union is supremely decent and the middle manager should get fired. It has some scenes that feel like they might play for “cringe comedy” but also are just so fucked up? One where the rich dude is forcing shoes onto the feet of little girl who is crying saying “I don’t like it! I don’t like it!” feels way too much like a pervert’s fetish for me to be comfortable with. The female lead is played by Jean Arthur, who is very good at playing a genuine, kind, and idealistic person. I am very grateful she dates the union organizer and the old rich dude’s love interest is someone age-appropriate. Interesting to see a pro-union movie from a time when unions were popular, so it functions as populist entertainment while Sorry To Bother You gestures at being radical propaganda for self-congratulation’s sake.

Human Desire (1954) dir. Fritz Lang

Another noir from Lang, with the same leads as The Big Heat. This one made me worried about age-inappropriate relationships too, as it begins with a dude being back from war, moving in with his friends, and their daughter having “become a woman” while he was away. Luckily the title refers to a desire he ends up feeling for a married woman who as an accomplice to a murder committed by her abusive husband. Glenn Ford stars in this one, and he has this very boring morally upstanding male lead quality that makes these well-made movies feel generic. This thing is happening to me watching movies where I get kind of hung up on how no one ever explains themselves or their feelings: I don’t think they should, I think the whole thing of watching a movie where you watch it thinking like “Why don’t you just tell her you love her??” is interesting because… a writer doesn’t need the characters to explain their feelings to each other if the viewers understand them, these feelings are the most obvious things and so can go unspoken, and so you would really only have them say these things if they were lying or being manipulative? But maybe in more modern movies people really do state their motivations because screenwriters are dumber now? I don’t know.

Fail Safe (1964) dir. Sidney Lumet

I have talked about this movie a lot since watching it, and in a way that doesn’t even mention that the opening is amazing, and the title and credits sequence are all-time greats. Instead I mention that Henry Fonda’s performance seems to have inspired David Lynch’s performance of Gordon Cole, and how the weird, fucked up nightmarish ending doesn’t really change the fact that watching it in 2020 it feels like a sort of pornography of competence when contrasted against our own reality. The whole movie is about an accident that leads to a U.S. military plane flying to Moscow to drop a nuke, and everyone (except for the pilots) realizing this is a mistake and trying to avert global nuclear war. The ending is pretty astounding in its darkness. Walter Matthau plays a guy whose role is to argue for the pragmatic value of mass death, but the moral calculus that ends up being embraced is far beyond the nihilistic death drive he advocates for. Mutually assured destruction is such a motherfucker of a concept. I am really hung up on the idea that unilateral nuclear disarmament never became a thing really set a precedent for how political parties in this country will never unilaterally dismantle their propaganda machines. 24-hour news is a nightmare, not really on a par with nuclear weapons, but similarly something that should be illegal, but for the calculations made. We would be a different country if we were willing to make these kinds of sacrifices but we really are not.

The Deadly Affair (1967) dir. Sidney Lumet

James Mason stars in this John Le Carre adaptation. He plays a spy whose wife is cheating on him, with another spy. None of the twists in this are unforeseen, in fact, the title alone explains a bunch, but the title is also so generic you might forget what the movie is called while you’re watching it. James Mason is good in it, although it’s weird that he’s playing a likable guy who sort of doesn’t seem to understand why everyone can’t get along or be honest adults with one another considering his work in the intelligence community. Another solid Sidney Lumet movie.

Three Days Of The Condor (1975) dir. Sydney Pollack

This movie does a very good job of not explaining things up front, and then portioning out understanding as it goes on. The movie begins with Robert Redford getting his office getting shot up, and we eventually learn he works for the CIA, but he cannot rely on them for his protection. It doesn’t introduce the female lead, played by Faye Dunaway, until like halfway through the movie, when our hero takes her hostage. Redford can’t really explain the situation to her, and just sort of acts like a psychopath, but they are able to have a quasi-romantic relationship where she trusts him because he’s played by Robert Redford, who is in some ways the seventies’ answer to Glenn Ford. The movie star aspect allows him to sell his agreeability, although he’s also supposed to be something of a nerd, a guy whose job is just to read books and analyze the information. Max Von Sydow plays the villain.

The Third Shadow Warrior (1963) dir. Umetsugu Inoue

Watched this because it’s made by the dude who made Black Lizard, it’s a samurai thing about a warrior who employs body doubles. It follows one such body double, overshadowed by the man whose existence he supports, at the expense of his own individuality or happiness. Interesting enough, feels like it occupies the solid middle of samurai movies- Something sort of common to stuff on Criterion is something that doesn’t blow you away but it is definitely a “real movie” at the very least.

La Cienaga, (2001) dir. Lucrecia Martel

That said, you kind of do need to be careful with newer Criterion channel stuff, because some things feel more like they’re just trying to engage with an art house history in order to earn their place in the canon. This movie isn’t bad, but I do feel like the reason it’s interesting stems from a context the film itself has nothing to do with: After Martel made Zama (2017), there was talk of her being asked by Marvel to do a Black Widow movie, which is insane. The studio also volunteered to handle the action for her, which she said she would actually be interested in learning how to do herself, but she had no interest in working with Marvel. Let Lucrecia Martel make a big-budget action movie without corporate properties you cowards! This movie is pretty difficult to follow, with no clear narrative thread, a lot of characters, weird pacing, etc. There’s moments of poetry or tension but this is one of those things that’s just beyond my preferences enough to remind me of a certain aesthetic conservatism I possess. I didn’t finish Zama, though I had read the book. It’s honestly tough to imagine Martel making a movie with straightforward plot that can easily be followed, it doesn’t seem to be what she’s interested in, even in terms of editing a movie so that you have a sense of where scenes stand in relation to one another in time. Many scenes still maintain a sense of beauty or mystery but at there’s no velocity. She’s closer to Apichatpong Weerasethakul or Carlos Reygadas or Bi Gan, to name three people whose names I absolutely had to Google because I couldn’t think of them off the top of my head.

All these movies are streaming on The Criterion Channel, if you want me to recommend things on other streaming services, please DM me your login information.

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