happy to announce that ohm pawat made it through yet another show without being grazed by a bullet despite the fact that he had a gun shoved into his face on multiple occasions

and with that the gay romcom continues to be the only series in which ohm pawat ever ends up with a gunshot wound

Eddie dating Steve Harrington and being so stupidly in love from the very first moment that no one has to tell him he’s being mean for always ragging on Steve’s taste in music, films, hobbies, and that he should try giving Steve’s interests a go.

Eddie getting home from their first date (a lunch date a the newly reopened Benny’s diner) and immediately turning the TV onto whatever baseball game he can get to first. 

Wayne watching him from the table where he’s drinking coffee and now ignoring the newspaper with a gobsmacked expression until Eddie very quietly asks him what the fuck is going on, and Wayne thinks he’s the one that should be asking that question. But Wayne slowly goes over the rules, who the players are and what all the jargon is; then turns the channel over to watch Chicago instead. 

When Steve starts coming around it suddenly starts to make a bit more sense. But Wayne doesn’t say anything because he’s enjoying the time with Eddie where they get to share an enjoyment of something, and they haven’t been able to do that since Eddie was being navigated through adolescence by the Union music Wayne liked to listen to. 

Eddie spending hours on end in the listening booth at the record store with Tears for Fears, Wham! and ABBA until he knows the records back to front and can start trying to remember the cords long enough so he can write them down at home. He can’t afford to buy all the albums he wants to learn, so he annoys (and confuses) the store clerk until he’s banned from the listening booth for a week. 

Eddie answering Steve’s questions about DnD and his guitar and Dio’s discography with such a big smile on his face that his cheeks hurt. Then being so worried when Steve gets cagey about answering Eddie’s questions about his interests. 

Eddie doing everything in his power to show Steve that no he’s not trying to tease him, that he would never do that because he thinks Steve has great taste. Sure it’s not what Eddie would pick himself, but Steve picked Eddie and Eddie thinks that Steve’s taste can’t be all bad if it landed him multiple dates and a smoking hot boyfriend. 

Steve slowly starting to allow himself to enjoy the things he enjoys in front of Eddie. Rambling tristes on why Steve thinks The Breakfast Club was one of the greatest films ever made even though it doesn’t really have a plot, and launching into tangents about whatever his brain jumps to next. 

Eddie choosing cheesy romcoms to watch for their film nights because he knows it’ll make Steve smile and Steve choosing camp slasher horrors because he knows they’re Eddie’s favourite. 

Just Eddie doing things for Steve before anyone has to tell him to because he’s so in love with Steve and wants to see him smile all the time, wants him to know he’s loved.

Eddie having grown up knowing he was gay and thinking he’d never get to have a relationship like this, thinking he was destined for nothing but hookups in dirty club bathrooms. He’s not so self-centred to think Steve will be with him forever (even though he desperately hopes for it) so he has to make the most of this relationship while he has it.

Their friends being shocked when they catch Eddie humming The Winner Takes It All under his breath or when he name drops a basketball player he shouldn’t otherwise know, and Eddie just shrugging and casually saying stuff like “Steve likes it” or “Steve was talking about him the other day”.

The Hellfire guys very seriously asking Eddie if Steve had him under a spell because the Eddie they knew would never be interested in pop culture or sports. And Eddie laughing, saying “He’s definitely cast a spell on me but nothing malicious. I’m just in love.”

And the party knowing not to bash Steve’s interests when Eddie was around because he’d threaten their DND characters lives and their backup characters lives until they got the hint.

Eddie apologising to Lucas because he didn’t get it before but he does now.

Eddie and Steve being obnoxiously in love and utterly unbearable sometimes but no one could say anything because they all just wanted the best for each other in the end.

Worm Fanfic Recs

No rankings at play here, just my favorite fics that I think other are really good. There are fics I like that aren't listed because I have a bad memory, but everything here is something I really really enjoyed. I have biases obviously, this isn't objective.

The Fics

Our Private Crises - A nailbiting murder mystery with unique and well done POVs from a different character each chapter. The mystery and reveal at the end were stellar, and it got me attached to characters I never thought I'd care for. 29k words. Complete.

It's Cold Out There Every Day - Missy is trapped in a time loop on her birthday. Genuinely stellar characterization, it has the best Missy and Aisha I've ever read and its such a creative and well executed premise. 41k words. Complete.

Tilt - Unpowered homeless girl Taylor fakes a thinker power to get in the Wards and secure housing. She's even more self destructive and self deprecating than in canon. 10/10 characterization for a slew of POV characters including Taylor, every ward but especially Sophia, Rachel, Lisa, and a ton of other characters. Despite not going through all of what canon Taylor went through, this fic nails her character better than pretty much any others. 220k words at time of posting. Updating consistently.

Tear Apart, Stitch Together - Taylor triggers with Shatterbird's power and kills thousands. Short and sweet, everything that's there is great and it wraps up well I think. 13k words. Complete

Memories of a Simurgh Victim - The Simurgh attacks Brockton Bay. Has two storylines, one following Taylor and one following Amy and Vicky. Among the most fucked up things this fandom has to offer, a terrifying showcase of the Simurgh and her power. 62k words. Taylor's story is incomplete but the Amy and Victoria story is done.

Desperate Times Call For Desperate Pleasures - Cherish altpower Taylor tries to consensually fix Amy's incest fetish. A trainwreck I can't look away from, the worlds first psychological horror romcom. It's so fucked up and so amazingly funny, and has good well written characters. I don't like Pillbug and I'm not a big fan of altpowers, but this fic is still one of my favorites because it's so damn compelling so definitely check it out if you actually like either of those things. 211k words at time of posting. Updating consistently.

Roots - The Slaughterhouse Nine attack a small town with a roster of OC capes, but something is very off about the place. POV shifts every chapter, and the OCs are interesting and unique. The S9 are also wonderfully characterized here, I've never had a fic make me sad for Crawler of all people. 67k words at time of posting. Ongoing. Criminally underrated.

Roma Fade - Ciara and Fortuna both try to grow past who they were as capes and find themselves as people in a small town post Gold Morning, having found common ground posing as moms to a recovering Taylor. I'm sure fake dating would never end in real attraction, that would be absurd. Incredibly gay, incredible characterization for everyone, the best post-GM fic around in my opinion. 87k words at time of posting. Ongoing but currently on hiatus.

Case - Lisa and the Simurgh start a detective agency. It's just great humor and a lovely story and wonderful despite being short and deceased. 14k words. Dead.

Silence is not Consent - Taylor intervenes and saves Victoria from Amy and gives her a place to stay, Victoria massively struggles dealing with what happened. Amazing characterization, Victoria's POV is unique and incredibly well done, and her seeing Taylor from an outside perspective is interesting. Be warned that this is a very heavy fic emotionally, but it's really fucking good. 212k words at time of posting. Updating consistently.

A Word - Altpower Taylor is obsessed with writing a story. I don''t know how to describe this fic honestly it's hard to do justice, but it has perhaps the best conclusion to Gold Morning I've seen in a fanfic. 11k words. Complete.

Scarab - A fantasy AU where powers are thought to be magic, and the Faerie Queen takes an interest in Taylor. Filled to the brim with creativity and passion, this fic is teeming with fresh ideas and interesting depictions of canon characters. The worldbuilding is great as well, no other fic on this list has a map, so this is clearly a cut above the rest. 139k words at time of posting. Updating consistently.

Swallowtail - Ok I lied this one has a map too. Taylor with an incredibly interesting stranger power joins Faultline's crew. There is a truly astounding amount of AU elements and alternate powers for canon characters, it feels like a new world while still being recognizable and distinctly Worm. Has a large amount of alternate POVs and the first arc can be rough, but it's creative and amazing. 360k words. Ongoing but currently on haitus.

Soliloquy - Ex-Slaughterhouse 9 Taylor is in prison, bitter at the world and herself and especially her clone who saved the multiverse. A heavy fic about someone slowly recovering and becoming a better person when they're convinced it can't be done. Made me cry. 71k words. Complete.

TWNY - Post-GM Taylor finds herself in the world of RWBY with a pair of moth antennae. Multiple POVs, all very interesting despite me knowing nothing of RWBY. Probably the best characterization of Taylor in any post-GM crossover fic, she's heartbreaking in the recent arc, and it feels like the fic has barely scratched the surface of what it'll eventually cover. Also it's very gay. 136k words. Ongoing.

The Great Escape - Eidolon is struggling after his reputation is destroyed and Cauldron is revealed, and then the Birdcage opens. Amazing use of seldom seen characters, great POV with Eidolon, well done and interesting fights, has String Theory. 107k words. Ongoing but currently on haitus.

Happiness Is Inevitable - NSFW. The only damn erotic mind control Simurgh smut in the fandom somehow. Besides the porn (which is a lot of the fic, who woulda thunk it) the story itself is actually pretty interesting and has a lot of creative parts, and it has better characterization than most fics. 29k words. Ongoing?

Oneshots

Break me so that I can be whole - This accursed fandom is tragically bereft of QA / Taylor fics, but this one shot is great, love an eldritch take on shards. Probably fucked up but I'm not actually a good judge of that so be warned. 1.8k words.

Book Worm - Dragon helps teach Taylor how to read and speak and understand language post-GM. Bittersweet and lovely. 2.5k words.

Defiant Didn't Dox Saint For Nothing! - Taylor goes back in time and the first thing she does is kill Saint because he sucks. Cracky but I like it, fun little oneshot. 1.6k words.

Ruling Ash - Glory Girl flees Brockton Bay during the Slaughterhouse Nine and ends up living with Damsel of Distress. Cute, and Starsong before Ward is very interesting. 2.8k words.

My Sunshine - Leviathan goes worse and Brockton Bay is destroyed. Taylor and Victoria survive. Very somber, but well executed. 3.4k words.

Cherry on Top - A character study of Cherie Vasil, showing how she went from running away from Heartbreaker to joining the Nine. Extremely well written, absolutely incredible depiction of her character. It depicts abuse and actions typical of Heartbreaker and Cherie, so be careful reading. It's a lot emotionally. 12.7k words.

Devil in a New Dress - NSFW. Shatterbird / Reader, I'm not explaining myself on this one. Neat Shatterbird characterization, hot, pretty fucked up so be warned. 1.7k words.

This Week in BL - No Thoughts Only Bed Friends

March 2023 Wk 3

Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs. Organized by which ones (in each category) I’m enjoying most.

Ongoing Series - Thai

Bed Friend (Sat YT, GaGa & iQIYI uncut) ep 5 of 8 - Consent King is great. The nail clipping injury thing was absurd. I love King’s admission that he’s attracted to Uea’s cool aloof meanness. Also I like that office politics and nepotism have come in to play, this is an office romance after all. King’s “back the fuck off” expression is one of the best. And then there are bits of the friendship/work dynamics that are laugh out loud funny. This is a great show. 

A Boss and a Babe (Fri YouTube) ep 3 of 12 - I honestly can’t decide about the babe character. Do I like him or is he too much an idiot? There is a way to play innocence where it’s cheeky not frustrating, but this is edging on frustrating. Mr Boss is a hard core flirt. What is this I feel? Just… old fashioned trope exhaustion. I HATE the younger brother character but love the home family. All in all, this show still makes me smile, not sure why, but it keeps me watching.  

Tin Tam Jai (Tues Gaga & iQIYI) ep 3 of 12 - Continues to be slice of life sweet and somewhat silly. Second lead syndrome strikes... and then vanishes. 

Pastsenger (Thai Weds Gaga) 2 of 12 eps - I just don’t like any of the characters. They’re boring. Also we are back to that old pulp mistake of not matching foundation properly and not blending at the jaw line. Which I find endlessly distracting. I do like that the sunshine idiot time traveller is trying to take care of his dead bestie’s kid and said kid is hella gay for it. 

The Promise (Thai Weds YT) ep 3 of 10 - I’m bored. 

Chains of Heart (Sat iQIYI) ep 5 of 10 - A confession is not an excuse. Do we trust Leu or not? Now a random doctor character has shown up? It feels like we are watching the whole thing out of sequence, not just the flashbacks but as if the story hasn’t been edited together properly. what is going on? 

Our Winter (Thai & Korea YT & TikTok under ThaiMiniSeries) ep 12-13 of 14 - whatever. 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Our Dating Sim (Korea Thurs Viki) eps 3-4 of 8 - I can’t. It’s so good. They’re so good... and so bad at flirting. And SO into each other. The saddest part of my week is reading the phrase “the next episode will not be available for 7 days.”

All the Liquors (Korea Thurs Gaga & Viki) eps 5-6 of 8 - That’s it, that’s the reason? The chef is allergic to alcohol? I don’t understand, why such a big deal? What happened to that plot point? Why did he change his mind? OK, I guess that is the end of that conflict? Now we’re in it just for a cute romcom? Fine. Who needs story structure? Especially when they have a date that is all about tasting local food and baby boy has a cute striped sweater with extra long flappity-flappy sleeves. The credit extras sequence was GREAT! I found the two gay boys expressions over the hets flirting = one if the most relatable moments in BL cinematic history.  

Unintentional Love Story (Korea Fri iQIYI) 1-2 of 10- Ji Won Young is intent on winning over the heart of Yoon Tae Joon as he's the boss's favorite artist. Plot: evil corporation is evil, artist is DEEP and not evil. Opens with a wrongful termination, debt issues, bird poop, & broken plate = our poor sunshine cutie can’t catch a break. Gongchan (maknae of B1A4) is GREAT in this role. Like really good. The tsundere ceramicist better be in hiding for a DAMN good reason. I don’t wan’t to be in another Liquors sitch. Meanwhile: “just a little kabedon to see if you’re gay“ really? That’s your excuse? Love the cafe owner & combative foodie romance boys, side dish syndrome coming on strong already. (The guy playing the muscled waiter is the lead from You Make Me Dance). [FYI I had to search on Google to find it on iqiyi, for some reason they weren’t listing the first 2 eps internally: Ep 1, Ep 2]

A Shoulder to Cry On (Korea Tues Viki & Gaga) eps 1-2 of 7 - Adaptation of Dongmul's manwha, high school set, features a teasing confident gay, and a rich/poor pairing. Star idols Jaehan & Yechan BOTH from OMEGA X, a first for the industry. AND..... I don’t like it. Very bully romance, without the mature teasing of Semantic Error or the kinky hotness of My Beautiful Man. I HATE outing with false accusations (implication = to be gay is evil), aided and abetted by adults. (It’s as close to a trigger as I get.) It makes for an unforgivable bad-boy character. Lots of the “crash into me“ trope. (Who do they think they are? Taiwan?) I’ll keep watching but I’m not happy about it, and I don’t see how they can possibly redeem the bad boy - tragic past or no. Now that he switched to flirting the dynamic is better, but I will never trust him. 

Jack o’Frost (Japan Fri GaGa) ep 5 of 6 - Honestly? Perhaps their relationship should end. Why do I care? They seem ill suited. 

It’s Airing But ...

Love Syndrome (Thai Sat WeTV) stopped at ep 2 of 12 - I’m just not into any aspect of it (except Lee Long Shi and I can watch him in Tin Tem Jai) - saving to binge if the end is solid.

Blue Sky Complex (Japan ???) 5 eps for VR - Kei Ichikawa's manga is getting a JBL adaptation. Weird distribution though, it started Feb 27 sequentially on 360 Channel (SHOCHIKUch) a VR video distribution service. Will inter-fans ever get to see this, and if it’s filmed for VR will it adapt without being overly dark and fuzzy? I have questions. But as usual, you do you Japan and we will wait (im)patiently to see if you remember the rest of the world exists. This is my preferred kind of live action yaoi, so fingers crossed.

Boyband (Thai) ep 2 of 10 - Stopped airing on YouTube, and only available in Thailand & Japan. Not sure if they’re working a distribution deal or just fucking with us.

Cafe In Love (Thai ???) 10 eps on Ch3+ - Thai pulp, about trying to save a coffee shop. FairyGodBLer came through for me, but I’m collecting to binge just in case. It’s my new policy with the grey stuff.

Destiny Seeker (Tues WeTV Thailand) 10 eps - it’s not on any WeTV I can get ahold of. Bad Buddy the pulp rebirth meets Japanese handsome host club action. Same as above.

Heesu In Class 2 (Korea Thurs unknown, I check Viki Gaga iQIYI & WeTV nada) - A gay(er) version of Sex Education. I’m still not sure this one is actually happening.

In case you missed it

I’m putting this here because I missed it: Ready?

Laos produced their version of Boys Over Flowers called Oh My 4. It is... not very good BUT 2 of the F4 have a BL arc with each other!!! (The bad boy and the musician.) You know I’ve been wanting the all gay BoF for YEARS but this is as close as we’ve gotten. Don’t ask, I have no idea how to get it all. But some of it is on YT. 

Next Week Looks Like This:

Liquors & Jack both end. 

Tomorrow: Future (Thai Sun YouTube & Gaga) ep 1 of 5 - Based on a y-novel by Faddest (En of Love) about an engineering student and a dentist. We can expect this one to be soft, it’s from the 21 Day Theory people.

3/22: Make a Wish (Thai Weds YouTube) from WaGa Creative staring Fluke Natouch (OhmFluke UWMA etc...) & Judo (The Miracle Of Teddy Bear) in a medical-fantasy. It seems to be a light-hearted romance with a comedic flair. About a doctor who sees ghosts and a deity who resides in a Bodhi tree that earns merits whenever he fulfills a wish based on a y-novel by Sammon (Manner of Death, Triage). 

Full list of upcoming in March 2023 is here.

2023 forthcoming BL master post. (see comments, some are inaccurate, NOT KEPT UPDATED)

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENT

Definitely Top 10 MINE glares (Bed Friend). 

(last week)

Current Kpop earworm? Team B cover of Dang Dang Dang. Look the tiny corner of my heart not occupied by BL is entire taken over by Peak Time. 

This is going to be long so the short version is this:

I convinced my therapist to watch the 🌟Gay Pirate Show🌟 and now I have to confront a previously unidentified and terrifyingly deep emotional wound that could be as transformative to heal as it is terrifying to approach.

My therapist and I have a lot of let's say...demographic things in common that have made this the most successful therapeutic relationship I've ever had, but also that just made me think he might like the show. It's no secret that ofmd has been a deeply moving experience for its viewers, and queer, neurodivergent, and/or people of color have written at length about the special ways it touches us (or doesn't). Those are three categories both he and I fit into and it feels relevant to say that for context.

So yes I thought he might like it, but I also wanted to pick his brain about Big Feelings it was giving me that I hadn't experienced with the same intensity with other media/fandoms. Y'all, he gave me a completely unexpected reading on the show (and its story and its fan works) and why it makes us feel So Much that I haven't seen anywhere before.

When I say Big Feelings, I mean like I've literally had to swear off a couple of pretty innocuous categories on AO3 ("Growing Old Together" and "Domestic Fluff") because they would devastate me in ways that I couldn't attribute to anything specific. Growing Old Together comes with the possibility of death separating them, which is heartbreaking, but that didn't feel like it was the thing that was gutting me. Domestic Fluff could probably be called the most innocuous tag ever, but anything that saw our blorbos settling down and watching the Revenge sail off into the distance was fucking me up as well.

There are plenty of reasons why OFMD makes queer people feel so much, but when I say this was fucking me up I mean like, well, remember when people outside of classical music started learning about appoggiatura? Like intellectually knowing why I was crying but at a loss how intense everything felt. And my therapist (who is as good at analyzing a text as he is at being a therapist) was like "oh, it could be all the grief."

The grief.

The audacity of this motherfucker (affectionate).

It's a romcom! It's a romcom that we were explicitly told would have a happy ending! It's a romcom where the characters will get to sail off into the sunset together like they want and like we want for them! Stede and Ed, after four decades of self-hatred and trauma and fear and isolation, somehow find each other. And one of the sweetest things about their story is that it's a late in life love story, because it's incredibly inspiring for someone to get to experience a part of life they thought wasn't for them. The inescapable fact that their time together will be shorter than any of us would like is sad but not unaccountably sad to me, because of how much joy they'll be able to cram into the time they have left. I could be wrong but I don't think that alone is the source of what's been overwhelming me.

Grief is a constant presence in the world-building and the storytelling because grief is a natural response to well, so many things about being alive. Grieving is some of the hardest shit any of us ever have to do, but it's also so universal and so many of the things that make us uniquely human also make grieving well, maybe not easier, but something we can endure and process through ritual, community, and the example of those we've witnessed grieving their own losses. Many kinds of grief come with narratives that you can accept or reject all or parts of, but the narrative exists.

But have you ever heard of disenfranchised loss? Loss that's not easily labeled or classified or given the time or space or understanding it deserves? Have you experienced a loss like that? Can you imagine how much more difficult it makes the grieving process?

Well what my therapist suggested, the thing that knocked me on my ass hard enough that I had to come have Online Feelings about it, is that eventually, we all have to mourn ourselves. Not necessarily in a "mortality is inevitable" way (that happens to everyone) but in ways that are often unique to people like him and me (black, ND, queer). Even if we work on ourselves, if we grow and heal our trauma and feel at home in our identities and our bodies and build beautiful lives, eventually we will be forced to mourn the selves that we never got to be in the societies in which we live and the selves we once had to become to survive this long.

And that mourning is a kind of disenfranchised loss, with no clear path forward. Obviously this conversation happened within the context of everything my therapist knows about me as an individual, but I thought certain things might resonate with other fans as well so I wanted to talk about it. The story of this bizarre little man and his remarkable second act and his lovely little found family and his incredibly beautiful love story (that we've been guaranteed will end happily) is still haunted by the specific kind of grief that comes from learning what's possible, and regretting that you didn't know it was possible sooner.

And does anybody have more delayed milestones, later-in-life discoveries, and/or need to invent places for themselves than those of us on the social fringes? Than those of us in societies unequipped for (or actively hostile to) the ways we exist and the things we need to survive and thrive? Than those of us who have to create our own narratives or be saddled with inaccurate or harmful narratives created by others, or even no narrative at all?

And narrative is so much. Narrative is everything. Narrative is the story we tell ourselves and each other and that literally shapes our reality. So those story beats where we discover something better than what came before are inherently stories with loss and will require mourning, because we mourn loss.

Even when the story has a happy ending. Especially when the story has a happy ending for someone who never thought they would be allowed to have one.

I mean just like, FUCKING HELL. I can't blame anyone for this but myself. I know my therapist. I know how insightful he can be. I did this to myself and now I have to live with it. But my god is it a massive mountain I'm about to have to climb now. My therapist and I have always found it helpful to discuss media that makes me Feel Things (see all the trauma work that came from Life is Strange) but if you had told me that I'd be looking into this new dark cave of unprocessed shit thanks to what I thought was just gonna be a harmless little gay pirate show starring fucking Murray from Flight of the Concords I would probably just have assumed you were in the middle of having a stroke and taken off to get you the medical attention you desperately needed.

I've been writing fic for a bit more than ten years now; most of which (eight? nine?) as a pantser. At most I'd make a timeline, for a complicated timey-wimey, wibbly-wobbly fic, but other than that, I just daydreamed the story and then wrote it down 😅

Then in the last couple of years, I tried to learn more about the craft of writing. I never had any training in school or uni, never any class or anything; I did work with a writing coach for a while two years back, and read a lot of advice. I've started to plan stories out more, to be more intentional about what I write -

But I have now run into a problem that I heard pantsers describe, which is that when they plan out the story till the end, they feel like it's done, and the impetus to write it just drops away.

I think I'm still right in the middle of finding my writing approach, which - on the one hand, exciting! I'm learning more about myself, that's always good! But on the other hand, I'm sad about the projects I was working on that I have somehow run out of steam on. I do have other projects that I still am excited to write, but I'm a bit worried I might lose interest in them too as I try to find the right balance between planning and pantsing.

IIRC you are a pantser, right? Any advice on how to not get ahead of myself when I approach a new story? How to keep pace between the dreaming-up of the story, and the writing-it-down?

OMG this is the question!! I am absolutely a proud member of pantser nation, yes, and I'll tell you what works for me, but I do honestly think this is something that (sadly) each person has to figure out for themselves via trial and error.

Terminology for those who don't know:

Pantser: someone who writes by the "seat of their pants," aka no outline, no real clue what happens next. The joy is in the journey!

Plotter: someone who plots everything out before hand, like by outlining or using scene cards or something. The joy is in knowing the journey before you start!

Most people are somewhere in the middle, or vary project by project. There are lots of names for it, like plantser or "headlight method" or whatever, but basically you can think of it as the Kinsey scale, with 1 being solely pantser, 2 as leaning pantser, 3 as equally both, 4 as leaning plotter, and 5 as solely plotter.

I'm a 1.5 I'd say, the 0.5 being from having to learn story beats in order to sell original fiction to traditional publishers, which means things like "the breakup should happen around 80% of the way through" and "inciting incident at 0 or 10%." If that doesn't make sense to anyone reading, don't worry, it doesn't need to! (But if you have questions about story beats, feel free to ask!)

As a true pantser, I typically know the following things before I start. I'll give an example from a long fic I've written and for a book that none of you have read because it hasn't gotten bought yet (SADFACE).

I know the characters and some basic facts about them and their relationship pre-story:

Back to the basket: Alex is a closeted college basketball coach who washed out of the WNBA (life based on Adia Barnes). Maggie is an assistant coach who used to fuck Alex in secret during college and is hella gay.

Original romcom: Libby is great at making friends. Sasha is a serial monogamist. They are both "straight."

Setting and meeting:

Back to the basket: Maggie joins Alex's coaching staff. The fic will last the entire college season (~6 months)

Original romcom: Libby and Sasha meet on a dating reality show. The book will encompass the first 6 weeks of the show.

Primary conflict:

Back to the basket: Alex wants to focus on work because she's A Big Failure. Maggie wants to date. They have undeniable chemistry and horniness.

Original romcom: Classic "straight" friends to gay lovers problems, made worse by the reality show setting.

Ending:

Back to the basket: We get really far in the tournament and Alex and Maggie get their happily ever after

Original romcom: Libby declares her love at the Ceremony, Sasha declares it back after some mental buffering, and they get their happily ever after.

Once I know those things, I'm pretty much good to go. For some books I know the midpoint (I knew the midpoint of my forthcoming novel before I started writing it) but for most projects, including fics, I don't know it until I've written my way there. In these examples, there was a clear time boundary (6 months, 6 weeks), which I find very helpful. When co-writing with the incredible @roadien60, we've put time boundaries on our fics together to help us keep the story tight, compelling, and contained (I mean LOL, Missives is literally almost 80k, but just imagine how bad it would have been if we hadn't been counting down to the eclipse!)

While pantsing, I really try to let the scenes shape themselves, to let the characters simmer when they need to and move forward when they don't. I don't let the characters do whatever they want, because those wants might not make for a compelling narrative or be what I want to write, but I try to let things flow naturally from one event/emotional beat to the next.

This method requires revision, sure, but revising is easier than forcing yourself to draft something that simply won't come, and that's what matters.

I try to be very very careful about NOT thinking ahead. I don't even let myself daydream the things I'm planning to write. I'll think about the next chapter between writing sessions, but never further than that, because if I've so much as thought about it, some of the joy is spoiled. I'll think of great dialogue in my head, and then forget it, and no matter what I write down on the page later, I'll always think it's worse than the first thing I dreamed up in the shower, and that's a kind of regret I don't have space for in my brain.

And the consequences are real! The only fic I took 5+ years to finish, Splice World, is the only one I plotted out all the way. I had to wait until I had forgotten what I plotted to be able to finish it, and even then it was a bit lackluster.

So I guess after all of this word vomit, my questions back to you are:

What was going wrong when you pantsed? What specific problem are you trying to solve for? Sometimes people try to start plotting because they think being a pantser is less "good" or sophisticated or something, to which I say, fuck them!

When plotting, at what level of advance detail do you get bored? If you know the ending, the next chapter, five chapters in the future, etc? Maybe you can find a happy middle there, where you can think a few chapters ahead but not the whole thingy.

How much do you daydream/think about the story without writing it? If it's a lot, trying doing it very little or none and all, and see if that helps!

LET ME KNOW!!

Idk what the fuck 305 is talking about when they say that the canyon is the only place where people write Ed and Stede as fucking up because every time I venture into canyon lit Stede's always either getting cinnamon rolled as hard as he is outside of the canyon just with a cinnamon roll derogatory rather then affectionate or he's a predatory gay man stock character and Ed is always the Angry Violent Brown Man Who Needs Izzy To Look After Him. Meanwhile me and my mutuals have been writing Ed and Stede having realistic relationship problems for the characters it's just that they always end up fixing the problems because thats how romcoms usually go. It's how the show itself ended up going, in fact. You start them out as falling in love you create drama in the middle by having their personalities (the real ones not the ones described above) and you have them work out the drama so they can open their inn together

Anyway this Canyonite idea that everyone but them is writing fluff where nothing ever goes wrong is a way to obfuscate the fact that we're not subscribing to the add the racism and homophobia back in when Jenkins and team left it out on purpose lense that the canyon clings to because it's the only way to make Izzy not look really fucking bad

All that being said the one thing I do think that both the canyon and the rest of the fandom fails at so fucking miserably is actually addressing Ed's daddy issues. That is ripe for writing grimdark fic about and nobody will do it mostly because the main fandom as a whole has utterly failed to recon with the fact that Ed will find the nearest overbearing angry white man be he Izzy Hornigold or Poppop, and immediately start trying to get his approval. I think part of it is because a lot of people canyon or otherwise had been conceiving of Ed and Izzy as sexual in a way that doesn't pair well with the fact that Ed 100% is subconsciously registering Izzy as his father. (And in their defense, they were thinking of it sexually because IZZY subconsciously thinks of it sexually)

#317.

related posts: #305

Hi!! I was wondering if you could point me in the direction of wlw romance books? Do you know of similar blogs like yours who post about them or of any authors? You reviewed the one with the pilot and the nurse, and I was really excited to see that and have been itching for more ladies lol

Yes!! We really need more sapphic books in romance; wlw is probably the least-represented type of pairing (besides... any involving trans/nb charactes in general). That's why I try to request any that I think will potentially appeal to me (I have a FFM triad fantasy romance ARC to read and review this month that apparently puts a heavy emphasis on the women, and a f/f selkie ARC for next year!).

For more reviews, you can check out the Lesbrary, though that's not ONLY romance. But yeah, that's all ladies all the time!

I would also recommend checking out romance.io. It's a great romance-exclusive reading resource, and you can filter by trope and gender pairings.

For more sapphic books, I'd recommend checking out:

The Fae Queen's Captive by Sierra Simone. This archeologist girl gets kidnapped by faeries, and she basically has to become the mysterious and cool fae queen's temporary consort. It's VERY hot, and a great one to read around Halloween. Good bit of gore, as a heads up.

The Thornchapel series by Sierra Simone. Gothic erotic romance dark academia type book about six friends who accidentally wake a dark supernatural force when they start doing these ancient sex rituals together. WHO WOULDA THUNK IT. There are orgies where everyone fucks everyone and everyone is bi, but the two main relationships are an MMF triad and a FF romance. Everyone gets POVs, and the f/f relationship is sooooo beautiful. It is BDSM, one of them is a domme and the other is her sub; it's very grumpy/sunshine, stern/sweet. Great plus size rep from one of the women. Honestly just a gorgeous love story that's super complex and compelling. TW for past sexual assault (this involves one of the women in the f/f relationship; it's not super graphic, but it is something that she needs to seek therapy for, her arc does involve recovery, and she does suffer from PTSD) and possible incest (not the f/f relationship) and general kinda dark vibes. But everyone gets an HEA in the end, especially the Rebecca and Delphine (the ladies).

An Island Princess Starts a Scandal by Adriana Herrera. Sapphic historical, Manuela ends up in Paris (the lesbian hub of the 1800s) and she wants to live her life as a gay woman before settling into a marriage with a man. So she asks Cora, this icy seductive rich widow/businesswoman, to give her an intro to gay Paris, in exchange for Manuela giving her this business thing she wants. What Cora doesn't realize initially is that Manuela is actually super committed to getting deflowered by Cora as well. It's very uptight meets wild, very swoony, very sexy.

A Long Time Dead by Samara Breger. A gothic vampire romance, it's about a sex worker who wakes up having been turned into a vampire in 1800s England, with this very worried vampire lady hovering over her. Because oops, the lady's ex turned her into a vampire as a revenge thing? So it's like, decades of these two falling in love, and tension, and a coven of queer vampires, and the ex attempting to murder people. Very romantic and hot and great.

Mortal Follies by Alexis Hall. This one is like, a Midsummer Night's Dream meets Jane Austen. It takes place in a fantastical Regency era, and one of the heroines leaves this ball because a hex has been put on her and her dress is disintegrating? Only for her to be intercepted by this dark and dangerous woman who's rumored to have killed her father? Magical, whimsical, somehow still very poignant at points?

The Fiancee Farce by Alexandria Bellefleur. A contemporary romcom wherein this bookshop owner(? employee?) pretends a romance cover model is her girlfriend to get her family off her back... Only for the model to turn out to be the heiress to a publishing empire, and in order to gain her full inheritance, OF COURSE she must marry!!! Funny, sparkly, a good time.

Generally, for authors:

Olivia Waite writes tons of f/f historical romance, Katee Robert writes some f/f erotic romance and some FFM, Sierra Simone tends to dabble in f/f and FFM more than most, Alexandria Bellefleur often writes f/f, Meryl Wilsner writes f/f contemporary, (I liked their recent Cleat Cute) Adriana Herrera writes f/f and m/f and m/m (I think) and has an erotic f/f holiday novella with a lady Santa out (Her Night with Santa). Check out the Pride not Prejudice anthology for tons of queer novellas, including an f/f alien romance by Ruby Dixon and a f/f historical by Amalie Howard!

I don't often block purely for bad takes found in the wild, but what the everloving fuck is this:

"Uses the toe thing against Ed". Is this person insane? Huh? Are you insane? If Izzy - who got his toe cut off in the middle of the night and fed to him by his boss, and then was immediately expected to jump to following orders - uses this against said boss, you're going to take this as validation he's abusive and in fact worsening his abuse.

Abuse against Edward? The boss who cut his toe off???

Izzy???? Who you yourself admit in your post that you can't find an example of making an unambiguous threat of harm (worse than "watch your step") or committing any sort of physical violence against Edward!

If he is, idk, upset about being maimed in his sleep in the next season (which may actually start with the wound getting worse?), then that's a fucking DARVO tactic now that baby's first psych 101 course has introduced you to the concept???

We are supposed to see this as DARVO abuse tactics in - and this is crucial to remember - in the Gay Pirate Romcom????

The Gay Pirate Romantic Comedy that a fairly mainstream (how is this take not from a batshit corner of internet?) section of the fandom believes (???) wrote a bigotry motivated domestic abuse arc between their love interest and the primary loser antagonist. You know. As a fun little side thing. Where it's a deep examination of how abuse isn't always so clear by having the character in the position of authority be the only one to commit physical violence and the undeniable abuse victim at the same time. This makes sense so stop questioning it, because if you do you are an abuse apologist and probably a racist.

What. The Fuck.

Like this is so far beyond character wank or just having piss poor media interpretation, and naturally they ended with snide remarks toward everyone who hasn't completely rewritten the show to believe this over the past year. You know, in case you thought it was just limited to character wank. This is... I don't even know what this is. Forging new roads of making up shit in "your blorbo sucks and my blorbo is perfect" discourse to actively harass people over.

(If anyone with zero context is stumbling across this I cannot emphasize enough that genuinely the dynamic in the show is two pirates being kinda shitty to each other with divorce vibes. Antagonist tries to get his boss's new boyfriend killed because he hates the boyfriend as a person (and to advance the plot), boss punches him in the face, <insert laughs>. Despite how gruesome the toe thing sounds, the humor is pretty violent so like the boss isn't an abuser either. He's super sympathetic (he was having a bit of a breakdown) and literally just needs to say sorry to mark his character growth. It's a romcom.)

20 Questions For Fic Writers

gonna unofficially thank @forabeatofadrum for this tag bc she said whoever wanted to do it and I wanted to so here it be!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

49??? What when how did that happen??

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

706,964 woah so not quite a million but uh I have shit to say apparently

3. What fandoms do you write for?

46 of the 49 fics are glee lmaooo, two are Newsies and one is Roswell, New Mexico! I anticipate more Newsies (Javid) fics to come because I’m obsessed

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

There From The Start

Cornelia Street

Here We Go Again

An Honest Man

If Music Be

All for Glee: Klaine!

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to respond to as many as I can, but I usually forget lol. If someone leaves an insightful comment though it will usually spur a long conversation in the comments and I LOVE IT

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

If The World Was Ending bc they uh :) die, technically speaking

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Uhhhh probably every other one??? I really don’t like sad endings so most have a happy ending, but i actually really like the ending to Stick Season because despite it being so terribly emotional and angsty, I feel like the ending is a turnaround and really hopeful!

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not really? A few annoying comments telling me characters wouldn’t act this way, and one asking me “where my creativity was” which rubbed me the wrong way but I try to focus on the positive ones! Those definitely linger in my mind longer 💞

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Don’t look at me. Yes. Sometimes. Idk man sometimes those dudes just need to fuck it out???? But I usually only write it if the story feels like it’s naturally going there. It’s never really porn for porn’s sake (for clarification there’s nothing wrong with that we all love a little pwp), it’s usually the sappy emotional kind that’s mostly feelings and vague descriptions. it’s definitely not my forte and something I still get a little embarrassed and self conchas about lmao

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Not recently but I did have a Supernatural/Glee crossover a few years ago (shut up I was 16) and honestly it was loads of fun! Blaine was the child of that Gay Angel and Repressed Bisexual Man. Absolutely a slay

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don’t think so? But a few old ones from my fanfiction dot net page ended up on one of those search engine thingies??? Idk how to explain it or how to take it down but honestly… I have bigger problems lol

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No but if anyone ever wants to let me know!!! It would make me so happy!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yeah! Quite a few actually. I usually do the franken-fic every year and I did the roulette challenge and that m aforementioned crossover was actually a collab! Some of my favorite memories was writing the final chapter of A Night At The Ryerson House with @esperantoauthor 💞

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

OOF. Okay so. With 46 fics on AO3 you could say Klaine has a special place in my heart, buuuuuuut…….. my best friend introduced me to newsies in April and I seriously think it did something to my brain chemistry because Jack and Davey own my entire ass

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Ugh. I’m so fearful that I’ll never finish Amidst The Chaos, which I LOVE but takes so much out of me. There’s also one I’ve never posted called “Strangers Again” that involves like timeline jumping but in a romcom way that I’m not sure how to go about??? Also the community college one. I have so many.

For Javey I tried writing that Spider-Man AU but like. I need to re do the entire first chapter. I absolutely hate it actually and I think it’s because I don’t have a clear vision of what exactly I want, but I know what I DO NOT want????

16. What are your writing strengths?

Uhhhhhhhhhhh I’m actually not sure entirely? I’m gonna go with dialogue bc that’s usually how scenes come to me first.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Scenery/setting/sensory, world building, plot points, physical movement holy fuck do not get me started when That Guy has to move Across The Room AHHHHHH I wanna tear my face off

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Love it! In my brain Jack Kelly is Mexican because I love to project, and I’ve got a wip where Blaine is involved in a Hispanic community (no he’s mot Hispanic he’s just got a Mexican friend who is an old lady and also Catholicism is involved it’s a lot to explain okay go with it) so I like to use it, but only in a way that feels natural to ME based on MY experiences. Different people have different approaches!

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Glee!

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

Oof. This one is hard but I think it’s an even tie between Here We Go Again and If Music Be!

Tagging: @somefeministtheatrepls @somanywords @justgleekout @kurtsascot and anyone else who wants to try!

What's your take about bonsars relationship

if you're looking for me to slander bonsar or go "it's romantic or platonic no in between!" you are in the wrong place, compadre. I'm aromantic. I don't believe that a relationship has to be romantic at all to be considered a relationship. I'm romance-repulsed and still date people, and it's rarely ever a problem. I'm someone's (more than just one someone, technically) girlfriend and I'm still avoidant of explicitly romantic scenes.

so the question for me is more like, would bonnie and caesar, as characters, want to label each other as partners?

like, when I look at bonnie, I see someone who may not be wholly comfortable just jumping into labels like that. as they said in the romcom ep, they just got used to having friends, and rushing into relationships seems like something that would ultimately be bad for them.

caesar seems a little conflicted on what he wants, but he understands his personal feelings a little more- he's said it himself, he and bonnie are soulmates. they're a team. but he's hung up on what that means of them, and how they should proceed.

we had a similar argument back in the day about the rr ice dancers. there were people arguing for them romantically, people arguing for them platonically, people stating that they wouldn't be attracted to each other because x is gay and x is pan and x is so-and-so, and my stance has always been Who Give a Fuck.

sometimes people are just in love with each other in a way that's not platonic, nor romantic, nor sexual, but a secret fourth thing that either combines some or all of these elements or exists completely outside of them. I would consider my relationship with gideon to be something on its own entirely, and I think a lot of aro4aro couples (whether they include aroace or alloaro people) would share a similar sentiment.

if I had to explain bonsar in terms of my own relationship, it's this:

they're not quite in love in the traditional sense, but they are absolutely not friends. they love each other more than anything. they understand each other like no one else can. if everything goes to shit and they end up furious and alone, they'll still love each other, even if they could never admit that. they have a playful, friendly dynamic that's observed between friends, and a deep love of each other that most would associate with lovers. they hold hands in public like it's the most natural thing in the world. caesar is the only person bonnie feels comfortable expressing physical affection to. bonnie is the only person caesar feels comfortable talking to about his thoughts. bonnie started carrying bandaids on them after they met because caesar trips a lot and never remembers them. caesar was the only person to remember bonnie's birthday one year. they don't necessarily understand each other's taste in music, but that's okay, they know they don't have to be the exact same to enjoy each other's company. sometimes bonnie will start talking and then realize they've been going on for ten minutes straight because caesar doesn't stop them. when caesar rambles, he always gets surprised that bonnie will add on and listen actively because he's so used to people ignoring the mundane details about his life. sometimes bonnie gets quiet and doesn't want to talk about what's going on in their head and caesar holds them until they feel good again. sometimes it's the other way around. they cut each other's hair. they have sleepovers. they kiss, and it isn't a big deal. they talk about bad movies and good albums. they send each other pictures of the sky when they're apart. they share clothes. they argue about whether spring or autumn is better. they go over to each other's houses and bake cakes at midnight because they couldn't sleep. they go to the library together. they sit on swing sets and share earbuds. they can talk for a week straight or not talk for a month and their relationship remains unchanged. what they have is undoubtedly, irrefutably, love. not romantic love. not platonic love. just love.

is that so hard for people to understand?

🦚 for the queer ask game!

🦚 - Are there any queer books/shows/etc. that you would suggest?

oh my god YEAH absolutely. i used to be a queer media connoisseur (im no longer a romance girlie when i consume media bc i write so much of it but i still have love for the genre). i'll do one rec for each category up here but ill put some more under the cut!!

book: aristotle and dante discover the secrets of the universe. it's my favorite book i've gotta put it out there. literally changed my life when i was like 16 i love it so much

show: there's so many popular ones that i feel like if you're gay you've already seen them by now, so im gonna throw a curveball and go with crazy ex-girlfriend. they talk a LOT about lgbtq+ identities and explore dynamics with different couples, and if you love musicals, you absolutely must go watch it rn i fear

movie: moonlight. oh my god if you haven't seen moonlight go watch moonlight it's so so incredible 10/10. a drama that follows a black gay man from childhood to adulthood, explores the themes of masculinity, family, and friendship as well as romantic love. it's just an incredible movie it deserves all the hype tbh

music: once again there's so many popular queer musicians nowadays that i Do Not HAVE to rec (you know the ones they go hard), so im gonna rec chrissy chlapecka!! she just makes such incredible, sugary-sweet pop music about such amazing fucked up shit i love her

send me some gay asks!

okie doke as promised here's some more recs from yours truly bc i really, really love media and have a collection to rec atp NDNKFNKND ill try to order them by genre from least to most obscure LMAO

BE WARNED: i do read some graphic stuff - im an adult and my media taste reflects that. before you read anything i rec, look it up for trigger warnings!! i don't want anybody to be hurt by something i recommend. <3

books:

of course like. simon vs the homosapien agenda by becky albertalli is out there. this is one of those classics i was talking about KDNKFNFK it's very ya-gay-romance-romcom you can eat up ya know. the movie's also not too bad (people think it's 'cringey' nowadays but that was HUGE for me when i was like 19 and had my first girlfriend). anyway it's feel-good fluff if you like that kind of thing!!

red white and royal blue is obviously another classic and one i can't rec enough. i love the way its written, i love the characters, i love the plot. like it's everything, if you're into the romcom vibe this is a great one to check out. (and as a bonus this one also has a movie and it Slaps)

it's not like it's a secret by misa sigura is a pretty solid wlw coming-of-age novel that i highly rec if you're into the rom-com type book. it's also got some EXCELLENT poc representation!!

bloom by kevin panetta is a graphic novel and i love it. so so so much. truly i think i read this in a day and i am NOT a huge graphic novel reader. feel-good romcom, poc rep, body diversity, AND pretty pictures. what is there not to love. everyone should read bloom tbh

lies we tell ourselves by robin talley is Probably my favorite wlw book ever. it's historical fiction and it is Everything to me. and im actually a known historical fiction hater so take it from me - its Good.

carry on by rainbow rowell is i think a classic at this point and i love it. so so so much. you ever identify with a character a little too hard. yeah thats me and this book. i gave my best friend a copy for her graduation. it is an Excellent take on 'remember all the heroes you wanted to be gay when you were a kid. imagine if they were.' it's my beloved

a hero at the end of the world by erin claiborne is another great one in the same vein, with a punchy, dry humor twist. basically if you were a harry potter kid but you hate jkr. you'll love this one and carry on KSNDKDNFK

nimona by nd stevenson is another graphic novel!! it's another fantasy, so if that's your cup of tea, i highly recommend it. it's got an amazing queer love story, a genderfluid protag, and most importantly, found family. literally everything. (it also has a movie but i haven't seen it yet

the raven cycle by maggie stiefvater is HUGEEEE i love that series it reshaped me. it's. mystery/supernatural i would say? it has multiple of my fave queer characters of all time and honestly. everyone there is a little gay. one of my absolute faves <3

we are the ants by shaun david hutchinson is a sci-fi horror adventure story and this one. it stuck with me. the main character hit me so hard and his internal struggle is so SO interesting. if you're into this kind of shit. give it a shot!

every day by david levithan is not one of MY all-time faves, but i can still say it's super interesting and has great rep!! it has a genderfluid/agender main character (depending on how you look at it). i will say i think there are multiple books in the series (?) but i stopped at one bc. it made me too sad anyway. <3

the perks of being a wallflower by stephen chbosky is not queer bc it's explicitly about a queer character or a queer love story, BUT. it still has one of my favorite lgbt characters of all time. patrick you will always be famous to me. as a bisexual girl in a catholic high school, saw a Lot of myself in patrick. (i do also have a special place in my heart for the movie bc it was my depression movie as a teen but patrick is played by ezra miller so be warned)

one of us is lying by karen mcmanus is another one that's not just. About a Gay Couple BUT it is one of my fave books (a murder mystery retelling of the breakfast club) and it has a gay main character!! his struggle with his sexuality is something he really struggles with and he has a boyfriend and i adore him.

shows:

i mean obviously like. heartstopper is incredible. like i said im not super into the romcom/young adult genre anymore but that show is just so beautiful and amazing and really healed my inner gay teen. it has a really diverse cast and representation for all kinds. i really recommend it!!!

everything sucks was gone before its time, but it is SUCH an amazing show. it has one of my fave on-screen wlw couples of all time. it's a feel-good, coming of age classic and i miss it deeply. (what did you just say??? 'katie rewatch it' oh my god you're onto something)

now if yall know me. glee is absolutely gonna be on this list. is it good? technically no. is it one of the greatest pieces of satire ever created? up until season three yes. i realized i was gay via santana lopez. THE gay character of all time. and all the love in my heart for all the other lgbt characters (kurt hummel you will always be famous to me......) some of it's a little dated (don't get me STARTED on unique) but it does genuinely have some great lgbt rep and if you watch it with a grain of salt it's a great comedy

julie and the phantoms made by kenny ortega (of THE high school musical and descendants fame) and it has a gay character i love!! (actually technically it has a few <3)

i'm a huge consumer of kids' media (i think phineas and ferb is a literal masterpiece and im not even kidding) so if you're like me and enjoy the disney/kid show beat i cannot rec andi mack enough. it's dramatic it's campy it's fun it's silly it's got a FANTASTIC gay character and a gay couple i deeply adore and not to mention!! so much representation!! it's like junior fosters tbh

we're gonna get into a little pocket here of like. normal romance but slightly niche - animes! sasaki to miyano is like my top lgbt anime rec. it is so, SO good. just absolute feel-good romcom goodness pls give it a shot

depending on interpretation, ouran high school host club arguably has a nonbinary character, some bi/gay characters, and a trans character! now. it IS hella dated do not get me wrong. BUT for the time? incredibly progressive and a wonderful watch. just brace yourself for some out of pocket shit

stars align has one of my favorite lgbt characters EVER, a nonbinary icon <3 and it's like. a PLOT. truly so rare to see something like that done on tv, let alone in anime. this is a sports anime - soft tennis my beloved - but it has So Much More To It than that.

another gay sports anime is run with the wind, a recent fave of mine. and i don't mean gay in the way that most sports animes are kinda gay. i mean he literally says 'im in love with this guy.' it's an amazing watch if you like that kinda thing!!

if you want an aroace genderfluid protag. the disastrous life of saiki k is up there as one of my fave animes ever AND saiki (the main character) is my fave protag of all time. this silly lil show is supernatural (ish?) and comedy all wrapped into one fantastic show i highly recommend!!

segueing back into live action shows, buffy the vampire slayer is an AMAZING, iconic, female-led supernatural dramedy with some early and, for its time, incredible lesbian rep.

yellowjackets because i LOVE unhinged lesbians. i didn't even know there was gay people in this - i started watching because i love horror and girls' soccer DLNKFNFLN and it's amazing!! if you like tragic gay women i HIGHLY endorse yellowjackets.

in the flesh. look. here's my pitch for itf. do you love being sad. do you love catharsis. do you love zombies. you will LOVE in the flesh. please. i miss it so bad i've seen this show 4 times (and you're right i should also watch this one again!!!) and i never tire of it.

sense8 is a sci-fi show and IT IS EVERYTHING TO ME. truly the diversity is unparalleled. so many lgbt characters of so many different identities. polyamory, trans people, a neuro-link that's destroying peoples' lives. it literally has everything.

the get down is not just an lgbt show, BUT it has an incredible lgbt character/storyline that i adore. a musical show, a historical fiction piece (which means a lot coming from me), and almost every character is a poc. pls give it a shot it's everything

bodies is another one that isn't just about lgbt+ rep BUT. it's incredibly diverse, examining people facing discrimination throughout history (you've got a gay mc, a jewish mc, a muslim mc, AND a disabled mc) and it just has such amazing plot lines and representation. it's a murder mystery/sci-fi double whammy, so give it a shot if you're interested!!

movies:

alex strangelove is a good, underrated, coming of age classic. it follows a guy who struggles with his sexuality. very teen rom-com-dramedy core!!

i adored boy meets girl when i watched it. a very romcom-y movie about a trans woman from a small town dreaming of getting out....... friends to lovers.......... i adore it

happiest season is a christmas movie and it's very sweet. its been panned (there are some just criticisms on the plot tbf) BUT i do think it's really cute

to wong fu thanks for everything julie newmar is just. so so good. it's an underrated classic imo. three drag queens go on road trip, end up in a small town, and change it for the better. it's literally so amazing it's just feel good found family PLEASE give this one a shot

the birdcage is another classic i so genuinely enjoy. who doesn't want robin williams and nathan lane as their gay dads. at the end of the day it's all about found family, love, and old gay men.

handsome devil is a foreign film - irish to be exact! - and i love it so much. once again as a catholic school kid.......... yeah. YEAH. anyway go watch the og gay nicholas galitzine movie LKNDKFNKNLFNKLF

pride is a historical piece and an excellent movie. it's got its ups and downs but god it's just an overall good movie. another irish film, coincidentally!

the way he looks is also a foreign film, this time in spanish, BUTTTTT it's one of my faves i love it so much. it's very feel-good, sweet, romcom so if you feel like you could be into that - give it a shot!!

rent, if you're into musicals, has some of my fave musical characters ever. angel dumott schunard you will ALWAYS be the love of my life. it is deeply sad but. other than that. i live in denial.

the prom is a much more light-hearted and silly lgbt musical. people shat on that movie but i think it's SWEET and cute and has some bangers!!

i mean like. we can joke ab how hyped it is all we want but brokeback mountain is basically required gay watching. it is EXACTLY as amazing as everyone says it is. the chemistry..... oh my god we could never make that movie again it was like catching lightning in a bottle.

bodies, bodies, bodies is a fun and campy lgbt horror if you're into that kind of thing!! the ending was a bit not my fave but otherwise it's an incredible cast and got some great silly scares

on the topic of gay horror, jennifer's body is gay and again, exactly as good as everyone hypes it up to be. you want gay women who are terrible to each other? oh boy do i have the movie for you

and i promise ill wrap on gay horror with it chapters 1 & 2. reddie will unfortunately always be famous.

everything, everywhere, all at once is not Just a gay movie BUT. it has an incredible gay character and it factors so interestingly into the mother/daughter relationship. i love that movie i will always talk about it

music (these are all just people i personally listen to but there are SO many more. im not gonna expand on these ones too much just go check em out you'll get it):

lil nas x

troye sivan

kim petras

kesha

tegan and sara

brandi carlile

hayley kiyoko

rina sawayama

peach prc

renee rapp

adam lambert

scene queen

willow

halsey

clairo

cavetown

janelle monae

the thing of it is that nicholas galitzine is not necessarily Good at playing gay, because well at the end of it all you can tell he does it for attention. which i think is a feminist win but that’s neither here nor there. i mean that he has the like, vibe of a man who believes so deeply within his soul that he’s heterosexual so he thinks playing gay is fun because it’s Acting in a way that playing straight is not. bear with me, you’re about to get a glimpse of 2021 beth. and by that i mean i’m about to bring up pete davidson. actually maybe most of you should stop reading his post right now or possibly two sentences ago. anyway. what i mean to say is that he’s like if pete davidson was like. talented. if pete davidson could act and sing he’d be doing everything nicholas galitzine is doing, but he can’t so he’s doing mid comedy and like so much weed. god bless america. basically pete davidson is so deep in method acting as a straight man he doesn’t even know he’s performing. i don’t mean to suggest that he’s secretly gay i’m just saying if you analyze his behavior you can like. see within him where the staten island ideal of heteronormative masculinity took root inside his soul. you know. basically you can tell that his whole life is a performance and he thinks he’s winning but he’s not because he will never be happy until he can deconstruct the roles gender and sexuality have played in his endless quest to find acceptance. he needs a lesbian friend so bad and GOD i wish that were me. i had a point. hold on. so like. i don’t know shit about nicholas galitzine as a person but i’ve been looking at the man on various screens for months and there is something about the way he moves and the way he says certain things, especially while he’s playing gay, that gives pete davidson to me. so i’ve taken that similarity and extrapolated from it that he almost definitely has similar issues. i don’t think a lesbian friend would fix him though i think whatever his deal is is unfixable and we should probably put him down in a few years before he does anything crazy like date a kardashian or star in a biopic or something idk. my point was basically going to be that i think. actually i forgot my point. oh yeah i think he loves playing gay for attention but he’s not super good at it because he still has the last sliver of internalized homophobia you can’t knock out of a man until he tries gay sex or talks to a lesbian once or has a daughter who’s in middle school. it’s complicated. don’t argue with me about his ability to play gay i think i know more about the subject than you ok i watched the craft legacy i was there. ok i was half there i don’t truly remember that movie. but i remember the vibe ok i was there. basically. WHAT was i talking about. i love stream of consciousness posting i’ve been writing this post for like 20 minutes probably. basically it’s crazytown that this movie is being sold as a gay romcom but they don’t even make out sloppy it’s like what’s the point if we aren’t getting a little nasty. a little freaky. casey wouldn’t approve of this. ok well. casey did approve of this i’m pretty sure they’re a producer but they didn’t write the movie and i believe in my soul that if they had been more involved in this process there would have been freak shit happening. i’m reading this book ok i know henry is slipping alex so much tongue and it was NOT translated onscreen!! and i’ve chosen to blame that british man and also matthew because he has ras syndrome. which is when you’re gay and in charge of a movie or show and you’re fucking obsessed with the hot straight man who’s playing your gay little character that you like so bad. ras is not the first to do it but he is by far one of the worst offenders i’ve ever seen like goddamn can we free kj apa from his clutches. i forgot the point again. basically. i think if nicholas took a break from playing gay in movies and tried gay sex he would become better at playing gay in movies. or he would stop entirely. idk

my gripe with heartstopper both as a concept and a show in general

While I do dislike Heartstoppper, it’s not for any deep or profound reason. I think it has bad acting, bad writing, no coherent theme, underlying message or much nuance. Objectively, it’s just a shitty show. Of course that doesn’t mean I don’t think it should exist or anything like that - queer people deserve easy to watch and just feel good series, particularly one’s aimed at teenagers and children. God knows there’s enough straight ones.  

My issue is the reception it received. I think most people can agree that Heartstopper definitely “blew up” so to speak. That’s whatever but a lot of people are definitely acting as if Heartstopper is some kind of era defining genius of queer representation, when it just isn’t. 

I mean c’mon man. We have an abundance of new shows featuring queer characters and you choose to stand with Heartstopper?? 

Heartstopper is good at what it is, a linear and easy to understand romcom about two British boys. And that’s fine, not everything has to be a work of absolute genius but acting like Heartstopper is the be all and end all of queer representation and that it’s completely new, original and progressive just isn’t true in my opinion.

I’m sure there’s millions of reasons why Heartstopper gained so much attention compared to other queer centred shows, but in my completely uneducated opinion I feel it’s because Heartstopper is very linear and easy to digest and understand for non-queer people. I mean the show literally spells it out, “that’s homophobic, Harry.” There’s no room for nuance or intricacies, which is great if you’re not queer.

Other recent shows like Young Royals and Our Flag Means Death very much centre queer people and are made for queer people. Young Royals doesn’t appeal as much to a non-queer audience because it doesn’t always spell things out in a way that’s easy to understand if you can’t relate to the characters personally. 

In addition to this, I really feel that most news outlets, award shows, instagram influencers and whatever else, just don’t want to deal with queer people fucking nasty and being weird and eccentric because, say it with me, it isn’t palatable for a non-queer audience. In Young Royals Wilhelm threatens to blow his cousin’s head off with a shotgun. Our Flag Means Death is literally centred around gay outlaws that blow people up for a living. I mean why navigate that when we can just talk about those cute white boys kissing at a party.

It sort of feels like Heartstopper is trying to sell a story about queer people for straight audiences. Young Royals has never shied away from explicit affection between the two main characters. Our Flag Means Death takes old, fat and hairy men and makes them the stars of a queer story. Of course you don’t have to show sex or swearing or drugs to make a good queer show and teenagers do deserve to see themselves represented, but in terms of breaking boundaries and being innovative - which a fuckload of people are claiming it is - Heartstopper isn’t really the best example. 

It should be said that anything featuring a queer relationship does push boundaries for the most part, as even just two dudes holding hands can rustle the jimmies of homophobic people. But it’s important to realise that Heartstopper is not the absolute pinnacle of queer representation, it is just one way queer people can be represented.

tl;dr: Heartstopper is not necessarily a bad show but at the same time it is not incredibly innovative piece of queer media that a lot of y’all make it out to be.

Tagged by @leupagus, @auntieclimactic and @kiraziwrites to post the last lines of my current WIPs (thank you all three of you, I’m very excited about YOUR WIPs). I decided to take “last line” to mean “last line written” rather than “last line in the fic”, for the pure and simple reason that the last line of all the men and women merely players is the epilogue, which I wrote even before I was sure how the fic would end, and I do not wish to give up spoilers for that.

1.  In the house in Richmond, the staff had gone home for the night. Rupert wouldn’t be back for hours, and when he did, it’d probably be with that cow Bex. Rebecca went through the unlit corridors, unclipping her earrings, unzipping the top of her dress so she could breathe. In stockinged feet, she padded to the kitchen and poured herself a glass of Malbec, savouring it in the silence. Tomorrow she would do it, she told herself. She’d call the lawyers, call Sassy, call her mother. She was going to begin the long journey back to being Rebecca Welton once more. Starting tomorrow, everything would be different. Satisfied, she left the glass in the sink to soak and went upstairs to bed, where she slept soundly through the end of the world.

2. “Please don’t ask me,” says Trent. “I’m trying to run a business here, not play a supporting character in a romcom.”

3. Dear Henry,

Ted got me a cat for my birthday! He is a tortoiseshell. Daddy is mad about it because he specifically said I could not have a cat, and has been saying so since I was four, and Ted did not consult him first. We have named the cat Fred, and even though we are Crimms he is a Lasso, because Fred Lasso is a great name for a cat. When we told Daddy so he shouted: “Oh for the love of God” and stormed upstairs. Ted went after him. Now they’ve been up there for ages. You know how they are. It’s okay, I don’t care. I have Fred now. I enclose a blurry photo of Fred as it is very hard to keep him still. Please say you’ll come over for Christmas and then you can pet him in person. He is so very dear. 

Love, Cressida

4. The assassin hoisted the window sash and slipped onto the sill. The desert wind ruffled the tips of his hair under the hat, which in the moonlight I saw was cut like a bob, with the fringe worn long. “Call me Ping,” he said. “And I’m no gentleman. I’ll be seeing you, sister.” Then he was gone.

5. “Fear your editor more than you fear your newsmaker,” says Sasha. “That’s what Gertrude used to say. And I’ve had some bloody terrifying newsmakers, let me tell you, but I never had any problems with that rule when she was in charge.”

6. “Oh, she’ll take him back sooner or later,” says Ariadne. “In the meantime, he has us. We’re his sassy gay friend. Well, you’re gay, and I’m sassy.”

7. Arthur puts down his teacup. “It’s okay. I’m going to level this fucking teahouse first.”

8. “A bold ask,” said the old woman. She looked down; the light fell upon her face, and the years from it. Now she was a young woman, young as Rey. Her robes were palest cream and the braided crown of her dark hair glittered with gems. “But I give it to you freely, who have walked my son’s halls and lived. I am Leia of the evening star. These are my hours. I am the daughter of the shining day and the gathering dark, sister of the dawn. I loved a mortal man and bore him a terrible son.”

I tag @justplainsalty, @nandalorian, @glamorouspixels, @swallowtailed and @aberfaeth, and anyone else who would like to reveal the last lines of their WIPs!

wwdits s4 thoughts (spoilers)

I didn’t start till October so I knew some stuff through my dash, very glad I saw the post where the interviewers said Guillermo and Nador wouldn’t get together to set my expectations after OFMD

The djinn is a really fun character

Glad The Guide is more of a main character the series needed another female character.

Marhwa is one of the most sympathetic characters in the show, peak she deserves better than this dude

I saw that Guillermo embezzles from the club in a LOT of posts because it was cute to see him take care of his parents. But it’s still heavily implied from this early ep.

The season is really clear in setting up each character's motivation and character arc.

Nadja’s arc has been my favorite. Lmao to the way she said  “kill them all” to solve her workers unionizing.

Lazlo’s struggles of fatherhood where he’s a bad dad in different ways has been my least favorite. But then again I don’t want kids so I’m not interested in parenting subplots.

Guillermo FaceTiming someone twice is notable, only people he pays this much attention to outside of the vamps and family is a potential victim. But this is a very different vibe

Nador vs Guillermo fight is even more tense and charged than last season. Even after rewatching I'm confused at what parts of the fight they were staging for escape versus actually into beating the other

Nadja union busting through narcotic bribery, Nadja’s always been a fuck you got mine "girlboss", especially when her power is being challenged. Nice that it didn't work, workers unite!

The parent interview was just too much cringe comedy for me

Love Guillermo’s jewel tone jacket outfit. Hope there's a post that points out all the designer items

Wedding episode had an ad that I noted down since I was watching ad-free. Clever trick it was for the go flip yourself tv show in universe.

Everyone looks so nice in their wedding outfits. Costuming in this show has always been great and its easy to overlook it

I was trying to pin why Guillermo seems so different this season, and I really think it is that he found confidence and is less desperate . Other characters are respecting him more too.

Nandor made peak cursed wish with “like the same things I like” I was confused until the end of the season if he immediately wasted 2/3 wishes instead of fixing that wish since he obviously seemed so uncomfortable with it

“Because I’m gay” holy shit! Such an emotional moment, yeah the family always knew but still it’s such an impactful moment. The show has had a range of queer characters but it's often more played for laughs while this is more heartfelt. I'm old enough it's also a brief moment of "wow things have come so far"

Lmao at the cliche home renovation episode, I love when a tv show adopts the visual style of another genre of show (like Leverage "The office job"). I deeply enjoy home renovation shows, good or bad they're only reality tv I enjoy. I think it's my favorite episode in the show, and I genuinely wasn't expecting Simon the Devious.

Maybe because I am watching these all at once that the heavy parody parts of each episode stick out. Guillermo being the overworked friend planning the wedding is a romcom classing. The Baron doing the cliche makeover montage.

Wow so Freddie gave the business card as if he's trying to buy valuable antiques from someone he thinks is senile, and Nador is fine cheating and being a home wrecker to meet up. hmm

Wait Marhwa ends that episode overwritten and basically dead in body and mind?! Freddie is a cheater! I feel really bad for Guillermo, ESH but him

Holy shit sunrise and sunset the song from Fiddler. As a theater nerd I know this ep is going to be sad also wow Matt berry can sing

Colin feeding on anger makes sense, I though he was being annoying at times but chalked that up to finding all kids annoying, but you can farm a lot of anger as an annoying kid.

Classic that Nadja got so proud her arrogance led to the club's downfall. Very short-sighted she didn't take the money out before the arson for insurance fraud.

Colin back to himself with no memory nothing changed. Hmm did the experience of being a parent change Lazlo?

Guillermo spent a year of his life devoted to things that as he put it didnt change. The reasons he gave in first episode for not walking out didn't amount to anything in the end

GUILLERMO BUYING HIS WAY INTO VAMPRIISM FUCK YEAH. he's really changed since season 1. The chorus ending is pretty great.

I’d rate it 2nd best season behind last season, major points lost because I liked Marhwa and I’m sad what happens to her. I'm not judging Nandor's actions this season as morally "worse" than the others, but being shitty to your SO is more relatable and personal.

Wow for the first time I’m interested in fanfic for this show starting with “different choices canon divergence” au and “picks up right where season ended” since next season will prob start with a timeskip.