Me writing 600 words in four months: that’s enough of that

Cassie: Fun news coming this week

Realistic me: SoBH is shipping!

Pipe dream me: The Matthew novella is the beginning of a future serial following Matthew

sorry not sorry the gay tension between them was too strong to ignore

also there are three cups of coffee in me rn and me hands are trembling

If only there was a way for me to gay up upload the ideas in my brain directly onto tumblr, so y'all know I am still thinking very much about my fics in progress (and the asks I've recieved) and am very much working on them but for whatever reason I CANNOT FRIGGING WRITE ATM

To the people tagging me in stuff, i am not ingoring you, i either:

1. Forgot about it/got distracted

2. Got confused by the prompt/anxious of replying

3. Got overwhelmed

4. All of the above

i've been meaning to finish LOTGH but i need to focus on it because it's one of those shows i really really want to retain and as previously discovered, i have ADHD.

excerpt from a fic i'll never write #2

she stared blankly down at the thick bruise encircling her wrist, a dark red that stood out shock stark against her paler skin. it was turning purple in places, much like she was sure her face had when she’d been having the life choked out of her at the time of its creation. she frowned slightly, remembering how her lungs had burned, and her head had throbbed, and a black shroud had gradually encroached on her vision until she’d barely even been able to make out nancy’s panicked face.

“does it hurt?”

robin startled, head jerking up to find nancy eyeing her with concern, still smeared with dirt and fuck knew what else but somehow just as beautiful as ever. “huh?”

“your... well, everything,” nancy said, knowing that robin was no doubt covered in all sorts of cuts and bruises under her torn clothes. it was a miracle she was in as good a shape as she was after being dragged through an otherworldly forest and strung up by vines trying to crush her like a constrictor would its prey. nancy was all too aware that it should’ve been her. that it almost had been. she wandered slowly over to where robin was sitting on the edge of her bed and crouched down slightly just in front of her, reaching out to gently take her hand. robin stilled, trying and failing to make her heart do the same as nancy brushed her thumb softly across the bruise on her wrist. her voice dropped in volume. “those vines were all over you...”

robin struggled for something to say, her words falling out from under her one right after the other as nancy’s continued touch burned against her skin. “and they didn’t even ask for consent,” she eventually joked with a half-hearted smile. nancy’s hand immediately froze.

“don’t,” she muttered quietly. there was something about her tone that robin couldn’t place, and she leaned forward slightly, trying to get a glimpse of nancy’s expression behind her curls. 

“what?” 

“don’t joke about it,” nancy said firmly, lifting her head to look robin in the eye, and for just a second, the ocean met the sky. robin watched as nancy stood up again, pulling her hand away and leaving the ghost of its hold lingering on robin’s wrist. she took several steps back. “you almost died, robin! we almost lost you! we were this close to having to drag your fucking corpse back through that stupid portal, and i-” nancy stopped abruptly, her brain catching up to her mouth just in time to prevent her from saying whatever she’d been about to. for a moment, they just stared at each other, and then nancy turned away, one hand in her curls as she pressed it against her head in frustration and the other on her hip.

“you... what?” robin asked slowly before the silence could settle, wondering what was so clandestine that nancy had cut herself off to keep it from her. nancy sighed, her arm falling to her side.

“nothing,” she lied, moving to retrieve the first-aid kit she’d left on her dressing table back when she’d first reentered the room and found robin completely spaced out on her bed.  “come on, let’s just fix you up before something gets infected.” she turned back with a smile that robin could tell only half reached her eyes, inhibited by something else, but she returned it nonetheless. 

What exactly do the ROs look like dear author? Also. how tall are they?

apkjsjdbd this has sat in my drafts for ages i am so sorry!

since i got the portraits up, you can get a quick glimpse of them here <3

some extra descriptions (with flair) incoming once the character codex gets finished. have to kick my own ass to finish them, but my perfectionist self just has to tweak and edit like fifty times.

as for heights, i actually made a chart, can you imagine. here's them™

i have never read or watched wicked (OMG I WANT TO SEE IT SO BAD THOUGH) and my choir teacher was telling the basic plotline of it, and when i heard that elphaba and glinda were roommates i wanted so badly to say "tHeY wErE rOoMmAtEs??" but i restrained myself

anyways i have so many thoughts but also i just want to curl up and cry about the whole patpran of things. pat really reached into my chest and yanked my heart out and gave it a soft lil kiss oh god 

(spoilers below cut)

list of things i find interesting:

the bag - the play inside and the overall bag symbolism

the watch! - the bandaid, the sadness of losing it, they will always have a piece of each other with them! 

the music - bro. tian and phupha gotta TALK to each other. the episode was so music heavy when it was just them and questions were left open ended and the music did the answering for them. to the point that there was a flute solo. (shout out to lan huan for the og flute solo brain rot). phupha my dude u are a stand up guy but this evasion of communication makes me want to shake a whole bee’s nest over you

the shoulder. the fucking shoulder. the leaning. the god damn symbolism. where is that one post analysis on colours. and where is the post analysis on stopping and starting time. i have connected the dots.

“let the audience judge when they see my play” OKAY P’AOF OKAY YOU ARE LOUD AND CLEAR MY FRIEND OKAY 

Yod is me by the way. I love love as well and I love their love so much. Yod is literally me. 

Holy shit random smut drabble idea that I got while trying to wake up. Boss!Ryujin, Secretary! Yeji. Ryujin requests Yeji to wear a lil short skirt (around the length of her MAMA dress) and heels so she can ogle Yeji in the office. It's really not Yeji's sort of style but she loves Ryujin's eyes on her and as always she wants so bad to please Ryujin

Okay, I'm about to go to bed but hear me out...

Ninjago/Skyrim au

or

Ninjago/Owl House au

Or

Ninjago/Warrior Cats au

OR

Ninjago/Dsmp au (or crossover idk)

my desire to write the smooches conflicting with my desire to build up the emotional stakes of makeouts

I don't remember if I just took my evening pills. My pill organizer says I haven't taken the Thursday pills. Did I miss last night's and just take them a moment ago, or did I just not take them tonight. Who knows. Ugh

Makes me feel out of control and helpless. Is my brain messed up this way or that other way? I don't know. But if I take the Thursday pills tonight and I took the Wednesday pills a moment ago then I'll have taken twice the dose and i will feel like shit. If I don't take them and I haven't taken pills yet tonight I will miss a dose and feel like shit.

The struggle continues :(

*kicking my feet and twirling my hair* omg alex-fa-main state posting……..

i still think about mai and hamilton a lot tbh but my brain

my issue is i hate not finishing food especially if someone kindly made it for me like i have to eat all of it even if my stomach wants to explode. its awful cus i love and appreciate the gesture but also i now feel like dog shit and need to lay down for hours