#but me being disabled. im not in a wheelchair i dont need a cane to walk i am healthy | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

couchie · 10 months

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as an on-and-off elbow crutch user, lemme tell yall abt my experiences

it got kinda long so im putting it in the read-more

it slows you down

especially in stairs, you have to put both your feet in one step to go to the next. that means it takes me twice the time to go up or down stairs than an abled bodied person, and that is when they're not speeding

you really cant speed much, be it on flat road or on stairs. it doesnt speed u up much and the only thing that happens is you get tired from using so much effort

people having to wait for you makes you self-conscious, even if they are understanding about it

carrying anything is a nightmare. backpacks can throw your balance off. you cannot hang a bag on the handles of your crutches cause you have to LIFT those bitches. and if you're only using one crutch, carrying the bag in the empty hand also throws you off balance

you only have a maximum of one hand available at all times

you need people to get out of the way. you need more moving space and standing space for moving with crutches

the crutches make your hands sore. you're carrying your weight with them after all. you can need to take a moment to rest only to soothe your palms, even if your legs arent tired

sitting is always a hassle with leg injuries, and that becomes a bigger mess when you need to also find a non-obstructive place to put your crutches to. they need to be easily accessible to you

standing up is also very hard. it depends on what your disabilities are but the faster you find a way to comfortably stand up, the better

people *will* try and take your crutches. Do Not do that. i dont care if you're fascinated by them or if you wanna play around and swing urself or if u wanna hold onto them while i sit. unless i explicitly ask you to, do Not take my crutches. and if you do, don't set it down anywhere, hand it off to somebody else, or leave it somewhere i cant get to. wait for further instructions. do i want you to put them at somewhere specific? do i want you to give them back to me? do what i want you to with them, nothing more and nothing less

people get curious and it gets really tiring to answer the same questions. i dont owe you an explanation and i dont want your curiosity or your pity

yes it's real sad that your distant relative also had one accident so they had to use crutches too. yeah there are canes and underarm crutches and wheelchairs but this is what i am using. yes people may need them for different reasons and it's not your place to judge or question it. can i please keep walking?

crutches get dirty from being used everywhere and the handles sweaty from your palms and they need cleaning

you will get looks no matter what aid you are using

idk if it's just me but going downhill is very hard with crutches. uphill too but when it's downhill i'm also afraid of falling and rolling downhill 😭

getting in and out of cars is a hassle. btw, for safety, you should put your crutches on the ground under your feet

acquiring a shower stool might just be what you need. also get non-slip plastic rugs to lay on the bathtub/shower floor. getting someone to help you shower isnt shameful

if you drop something, woe is you. where do you put your crutches? how do you crouch to get them? the best thing to do, in that case, is to ask for help. people wont mind, believe me. and if you're alone, be careful and take your time

creaky crutches are the worst💔💔

being able to walk without crutches doesnt mean ur faking. not having more pain without crutches doesnt mean ur faking. stop being so hard on yourself

it's not our duty to educate people. if you're so curious go do a basic google search before questioning me. because, consider how many times i get the same questions in the same day

seeing another mobility aid user brings a sense of belonging and you bring the same feeling to people without visible disabilities

be unapologetically yourself. take up space. dont be sorry for needing aid

take care. i love you 🫶

#funguy🍄#disability #actually disabled #mobility aid #crutches

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moonshinemagpie · 11 months

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thoughts on beautiful sick bodies

i have some kind of joint disease that is yet to be diagnosed. im in and out of the rheumatology department of my hospital all the time now, and sometimes i get scared, or angry, or resentful, because i dont like that im 25 and might end up disabled or in a wheelchair or whatever

and i know that happens to a lot of folks, but im scared of losing my strength, and my youth, and my grace, and my dignity, and my independence, and my and my and—

but today my rheumatologist’s waiting room was completely packed, and about 90% of the patients were women, probably reflecting how these autoimmune diseases tend to dwell in our bodies more frequently. and there were all these women using a wider variety of canes and walkers and wheelchairs than i ever realized existed.

i saw one woman walking with a cane that wrapped around her forearm, so she was able to control it with her arm instead of having to press down on her wrist. and my whole body is so tired and sore, my wrists especially, and the moment i saw her cane i wanted one for myself. and then suddenly my whole perspective shifted in a way im not sure i can articulate:

she was cool. she had this dope cane and she could get around without exacerbating her pain. she outsmarted a disease. she was a fiery, beautiful genius.

and then all at once all the ladies in the waiting room seemed so cool, so unutterably beautiful.

i had crushes on all of them. the two friends maybe in their 60s who were yakking at each other, their canes occasionally clinking together as they shifted their heads together in talk i couldn’t keep up with. the woman who was sleeping across three chairs like she didnt give a fuck, took up the space her body needed her to take up, because chronic fatigue is a dick.

i heard a cane clinking down the hallway quite quickly and rhythmically. i closed my eyes and vividly imagined it belonged to someone tall, handsome, dangerous—kaz brekker came to mind, all strong and resilient and sexily masculine, because the cane clinked with such speed that it announced a certain confidence in its user.

and then the cane user turned the corner, and i saw it was a little old woman in her 80s. she was completely stooped over, her spine entirely curved, just as mine very well could be some day. and she was all the grace and beauty and cool ive ever wanted to be. kaz brekker wishes he were she. she moved so beautifully, and all at once i wasnt afraid of reaching her level of disability, not if i could move through the world like her.

I know this is really dramatic. A few weeks ago I had no idea my body was this sick. A few weeks ago I had no idea what knee pain might feel like, which seems like a joke now. But since learning that I’m sick in this way i’ve discovered how much ableism i’ve internalized. somehow being surrounded by disabled women today healed this nasty little voice that’s been eating at me psychologically while the disease gnawed at my bones.

like, hot damn. people are fucking beautiful.

#disability #disease #chronic disease #arthritis #i wrote this in 2021 and just stumbled on it again!#i still agree with this #wild to think i was scared of becoming disabled #wow i had no idea what i was in for

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cpunkwitch · 9 months

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answering my own questions

[pt: answering my own questions]

dont really get sent anything and not many people sent in the questions when the games were posted and reblogged, and i wanted to talk about stuff, so here we are.

this might end up being a multiple part post series?

ask game one (link)

(if comfortable) tell us about your condition? as much info as youre comfy with sharing.

i have a defect in the base of my spine, since i was born its caused me chronic pain all throughout my development and in recent years its only gotten worse, twisting my spine, headaches, jaw issues etc. i've also got highly suspected rheumatoid arthritis, fibromyalgia and ive been diagnosed with a pretty bad case of anemia so bad that everytime a doctor looks at my results after bloodwork they give me a pained look and say "heyy...did you know your iron is low? like...really really low?". that and a hand full of other things, vitamin deficiencies, etc. i dont mind talking more about this

2. do you know about the spoon theory? if yes, what do you think of it?

i'll be honest, the majority of my knowledge of spoon theory off the top of my head is that "drawer with limited supply of spoons" is the disabled way of saying i only have so much motivation and energy (phys, as "battery" usually refers to social and emotional) in me. i've read up on it ages ago but would not be able to put into better words what i still remember about spoon theory (esp since we had a different host back then), i like that its just so much quicker and easier to convey my amount of ability to do things for the day by saying whether or not i have the spoons for it.

i do like to joke that my drawer is always stocked with knives and forks for the ablests, but sometimes that requires spoons to handle too. /silly

3. do you have mobility aids? if yes, which ones? if no, do you want any in the future?

i've mention how i really wish i could have a wheelchair if i were in a different situation, i dont know if i'll ever get one and i almost cried when my brother responded to my joke of "would you make on for me?" with an "i would if i could", i really would like a wheelchair of some kind in the future if the world were more accessible and i were in a safer place. right now though, i've just got my cane that still needs repainting. i guess my moms back brace counts too, i take it with me to work sometimes.

4. how did you find out about cripplepunk? what drew you to the community and movement?

i dont exactly remember but i've known about it for years. i (prev host) might have come across it looking up different punk aesthetics, though im not completely sure why it showed up in a punk aesthetic list, possibly because its punk and people misinterpreted it? my first glimpse was seeing patches on jackets, spiked customized aids, cripples/phys disabled people in your classic punk attire (piercings, dyed spiked mohawks, ripped jeans and fingerless gloves) and i loved it. im a sucker for self expression through appearance and customizing things and then when i found out it was a whole community for support and centered around being physically disabled in general and slowly came to terms with my own disabled body and started accepting myself, i kinda fell in love with cripplepunk in the "this feels like home" sense.

i could probably ramble way more but i'll stop there.

5. if you deal with any kind of pain, what's your method of pain management?

i use hot packs, ice packs, voltaren cream, sometimes i take a cbd gummy, i do little stretches when i remember them, i take walks and hot baths/showers, im trying to go back to the chiropractor and my favourite instructors in rehab (theyre trans friendly and complimented my cane when i first came in with it i love them so much), and i take whatever meds i can, normally anti-inflammatory like ibuprofen but because i cant swallow pills i either take liquid (yeah, childs liquid meds works, the couple hours of mild relief is still worth it) or powdered tylenol or something. the hot/cold stuff depends on the pain and where on my body the pain is.

6. do you stand or sit in the shower or do you prefer baths/find bathing easier rather than showers?

i take baths for my muscles and during the damn monthly ouch in order to relax my body. i take showers just for my shoulders and when im feeling icky and wanna rinse off or something, i take showers on a "regular" basis and i normally stand because the only way i sit is if im crouched in the tub and if i do that i get extra dizzy standing up to get out when i turn the water off. thankfully im no longer near passing out when i take a shower but i still have to sit on the floor matt after because my legs demand rest. i gotta be careful with hot water cuz not only will it make me overheat quickly (i will not realize if in standing in blood-boiling hot water and turning myself into a cooked lobster until after im out) but it can also cause me to literally fall asleep in the bath which can go wrong.

7. do you have a sort of comfort item or safety blanket that helps you feel better, especially on the worst days?

a couple things. a few of them are stuffies/plushies, or music, games or books to help me keep my mind off it i suppose.

8. name 3 things you hate about hospitals/doctors/nurses/the medical system

a) a lot of them refuse to take people seriously or actually listen. sure maybe theyre tired or heard the same shtick before and wanna make sure this person isnt just a drug user trying to pity their way into getting more, but even then all matters a patient presents them with should still be taken seriously and never brushed off or mocked.

b) the fact that the er, the place you take a ticket and wait, is called the Emergency Room, when its normally scheduled appointments and people taken in by the ambulance that are top priority. sure its called the er because most visits through the er are rushed "emergency" last minute visits, people going there because they couldnt schedule an appointment and needed to see someone on that day, but still it feels wrong to call it the emergency room when its really just a waiting room and regardless of the visit they arent actually treated as emergencies. the whole system of just going to see a doctor feels messed up and most of the time you end up just going to see a nurse, get a check up and leave when they tell you what they got after a talk and examination or they schedule to see you again when a doctor is available. because of this i tend to prefer walk in clinics.

c) the fact that they charge to damn much, no matter if youre insured, it still charges so much. no matter what they do. and yeah, healthcare in canada is free to an extent if youre insured but a lot of times they charge more than your insurance can cover and not everyone can get/has insurance. not to mention the medical debt so many people have in america. i get that staff and hospitals need pay and funding but the government should have that covered and not have the patients charged so much for getting help. i almost got charged over 3k just for my short visit to the ward because there was an issue with my insurance and thats a whole angry story for another time.

9. whats an accessibility tool you wish was more accessible/that you had access to?

one of them is aac, the one i have on my phone i have to disconnect my phone to and has a limited amount of phrases i can pick from. id like it better if the app or just aac programs in general when directly to your device speaker by default, had more options for more ease conversing and none of them were behind a damn pay wall, in-app purchase or otherwise. i rarely use it for several reasons but i'd love if i could use it more with less limitations.

also wheelchair ramps. i dont have a wheelchair ramp but i wish people stopped walking on them when theyre clearly able-bodied, i wished my parents taught me and my siblings what the ramps were for and not to run up and down them as well as other parents to their kids because those things are supposed to be clear for a wheelchair user. i also think the corners should be rounded for ease of turning and that wheelchair accessible paths in general should be firm to the ground (not a wimpy matt on the sand that flips over and gets buried on the beach unmaintained), maintained and cleaned regularly, not have any gaps (ive seen so many of the small ones installed in doorways that have a height gap above the ground which causes trouble getting the wheelchair on the ramp let alone through the damn door) and not have railings made of metal if theyre outside (they can often reflect light into peoples eyes and get too hot to touch in the sun both of which are not good issues to have no matter how small they seem.)

those are at least the first to come to mind.

10. whats the worst accessability cockblock you've seen ableds do/make?

theres quite a few i've seen but atm nothing significant comes to mind other than overpricing mobility aids or placing paywalls in front of aids in general.

however there was the few times in more than one school i went to you had to go to the office, provide a 'valid' reason and ask them for a key to the elevator, otherwise they make you take the stairs. i know they do it because they dont want able-bodied kids messing with it n shit but its stupid, it should be accessible to everyone regardless. thank fuck both collages ive been to so far give free elevator use to any staff or student but in the schools i went to i was only allowed have the access key because i couldnt walk up the steps on my sprained/twisted ankle and i had to give it back at the end of every day. the last school even limited my use to just the morning or 1-2 periods that i had on the second floor. nevermind if my locker was up there.

11. whats an accessibility tool youre very thankful for?

screen readers. my little brother uses/used em more than me and i dont use them too often but im glad they exist in general i used them when i was younger and my english teachers gave us work on the computer, i used it like an audiobook and it helped me majorly. i hate that people dont always provide translations to things and make things harder on screen readers by using coloured, tiny, non-serif font-ed or 'quirked' text but ever since i was a kid i was just as happy they existed as i was about braille.

12. name 3 things you like about hospitals/docs/nurses/the medical system

a) that there are some people there who are actually hoping, willing and ready to listen and help others.

b) that they provide things for kids like toys in the waiting room, people who specialize in caring for kids in the hospital, some doctors even have their office decorated. one doctor i went to had her entire office winnie the pooh themed and it helped me out a lot when i got blood work done n stuff, it was really comforting to stare at pooh bear instead of the sharp pokey in my arm.

c) that things are usually kept quiet with low voices, as it reduces risk of overstimulation as well as avoids hurting anyones head and protects privacy of those talking about whats going on. voices are usually only raised to a normal talking level when in the privacy of a nurse or doctor office and its something i dont see really acknowledged anywhere.

13. do you have any favourite disability rep? (media or character)

not picking from my own sources, when it comes to physical disability rep, its hard for me to pick something that involves a realistic character because most of them arent very well portrayed or i cant personally relate to. i can list Freddy freeman as one, hes a crutch user and how the shazam movie portrayed him does well in expressing what ableism can be like for some visibly disabled kids in school. i could probably list some shows that handle disability well through other means if i thought of them, i know theres a few that handle it through super heros being disabled (the one spider-person who's got both a wheelchair and a cane from the recent spiderverse movie for example) or non-human characters having differences that are implied to be disabilities, and i adore that creativity, especially with showing disabled super heros as it tells disabled kids theyre still strong, not broken, they can still be cool and do great things just like able-bodied people. hard for me to name specific things off the top of my head though, guess i like specific tropes around disability rep more than anything. it helps normalize disability and thats what really makes me happy with it. (thats a big reason why i made @/your-fave-is-crippled)

14. least favourite/worst disability rep?

not phys disabled but sia's fucked up movie right off the bat still angers me. i cant name any specifics once again, normally if theres some rep that i dont like i purposely forget they exist to begin with, they arent worth remembering if they arent gonna do it right, y'know? id rather forget and move on than linger and rage about it if i can help it.

15. list some creators (youtubers/bloggers etc) that are disabled and/or cater to a disabled audience that you enjoy? (if any)

@crippled-pvp, @cripple-culture-is are a couple blogs i follow that i enjoy seeing on my dash (sorry if you dont want to be tagged!)

there was a deaf/hoh girl i used to frequent the content of as she talks a lot about signing and i really enjoyed her videos, shes such a sweet person but i never remembered her name nor any of the other creators i watched/followed. no one else comes to mind atm

16. favourite aspect about the general disabled community?

i like that there are people with advice at the ready, whatever question you have or info you need etc, theres always going to be someone with the words you need. i just like how helpful people can be in general in this community and how easily support is accessed through the community.

17. least favourite aspect about the general disabled community?

the fact that theres in-fighting, fake claiming, judgment, quick assumptions, and general internalized ableism still going on when we're supposed to be a community helping each other out not tearing each other down. im not just talking about the fight over "inclusion vs exclusion" on cripplepunk and other sub/separate communities in the disability community.

18. favourite aspect about cripplepunk?

i think my answer to "what drew you to cripplepunk" also answers this.

19. least favourite aspect about cripplepunk?

honestly? none. i hate the people forcing themselves into a space not meant to include them nor benefits them in the first place. i cant actually think of an issue i have with the cpunk community, only issues with people outside being upset over how "exclusive" it is because they want in.

20. free space:

feel free to ask me about any of my answers! i'll make a second post for the second ask game some other time. its currently 11pm and i have to get up early for morning classes yuck

[ID: banner reading "dni if... proship, transx/id, syscourse/discourse blog, anti-mspec lesbians/gays, anti-lesboy/turigirl more in pinned rentry. this blog is protected by the addams family, the de rolo family and co." in all black lowercase text. It has a grey cloud background. On the left is the De Rolo coat of arms with a cobweb in the top corner and symmetrically flipped on the right is the symbol of Vox Machina with the same cobweb in the bottom corner :End ID]

#cass rambles #disability blogging #actually disabled #physically disabled #cripplepunk #physical disability #cpunk #disabled #cripple punk #cpunk blog #answers

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strawberrybabydog · 9 months

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i made some friends yesterday who made some comments abt my disability that i have mixed feelings about

context: went on a walk with my partner and they introduced me to these friends who play pokemon go with them. for most of the walk i wasnt using my cane, but near the end i unfolded it from my bag. they were very friendly to me the entire time, they actively tried to include me even though i was quiet & overall i had a very good time

near the end, they made these comments: "sorry, i forget you're using a cane so i need to walk slower so i dont leave you behind" and "[while walking up a hill] we need to get you a wheelchair!" (true!!)

and i think theyre nice. it was nice that they dont want to leave me behind, and its nice that they share my frustration with walking up hills. overall i feel very included and very accepted. i know it's nitpicky and so small, but i also feel like they at least implied that im making their experience worse because they need to walk slower to include me. i appreciate that theyre doing this, but the way they said it just makes me feel terrible for being there. especially because i thought i was walking a totally normal pace the entire time, AND, canes are heavy! if i walk slow its not my fault, its my stick lagging!!

i still think im excited to hang out with them next but i might end up going home early because now i have this slow-walker pokemon-go-ruining thing about me. will all ableds think this way about me forever?

#doggybility #mild feelings #on internalized ableism #not dog #personal

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molluskmirage · 5 months

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tips and tricks I have learned in my 9 years of being mostly bedridden from ME/CFS

the first 5 years of illness was a battle and hellscape I physically dont have the capacity to process emotionally and if thats were your at as well your incredible friend, I have finally managed to get security payments and a place to live (much to be desired but its way way away from the dire circumstances I was under for years. my heart goes out to those in situations I was in)

Tip number 1:

-reframing and restructuring my goals and expectations

I was able to do this by saying that sick me is different then able bodied me. Sick me is accomplished for each day they make it to the next day. It also comes from recognizing the ‘idols’ or those that came before me in my same position and looking up to them and gleaning their knowledge. Jessica Kellegren-Fozard has been this idol for me. She goes about life with grace, love and wonder and has taught me alot on how to navigate a disabled life and to love it and have fun with it.

tip 2:

-discovering what limits my body has and keeping within those parameters (no matter how pitiful or limited it may feel) staying inside the limits means I can do more overall and refrain from boom and bust crashes

tip 3:

-REST DAYS. what an abled bodied person can accomplish in a day I might be able to do in a week. Do something one day then the next day rest. Rinse and repeat.

tip 4:

-if you ignored rest days or simply find yourself in a crash the adrenaline kick you get that makes you feel like you have energy and should do something is a trap, rest. Rest day for you! If you’ve rested and rested and rested and feel the worst youve ever felt and so hopeless that youll never return to even your base line that is the day before you are actually getting better, keep resting and cheer yourself on and comfort yourself your doing amazing.

tip 5:

-get any aid device you feel you need, (even if you feel like well maybe I dont need it maybe im just exaggerating. No. If it’s reasonably priced or you can get it through other means do. Aids are great) I love my cane. I love my rollater. Love my eyemask. Love my eyepatch. Love my shower stool. Love my sunglasses. Love my stand that holds my phone. Love my medicine bag. Love my trays that hold my miscellaneous aid tools. Love my humidifier and heater. Love my weighted blanket. Love my fidget toys and my kalimba. Would love to see if an oxygen tank might help not sure on how to go about that yet and would love a wheelchair but would need a motorized one and cant afford it (also for me I wouldn’t be able to use it much because i cant sit up for long)

tip 6:

-drinking electrolytes after my roughly weekly shower. This was a game changer for me really helped recovery rest day. Coconut water, lemon juice, gatorade, salt water, all good choices.

tip 7:

-celebrating my accomplishments. I choose to do this on the ‘birth’ of my sick self. The date of my illness was very clear and its a date I wont forget so why not make it a party to celebrate what Ive done throughout the year. Always when I approach this day I feel so down on myself because it often feels like I do literally nothing but lay in bed but when I actively go through the months and things I did on top of the victory of surviving another year I find Ive done much more then I give credit for and im so proud of myself.

tip 8:

-my weighted blanket is the greatest thing in the world. (This one may not apply for others as it can be rough to manage the heft but for me whose been an insomniac my entire life this absolutely changed my life and I can not sleep any other way, I feel like a door to door ((floor to floor)) salesman because all I want to do is share the good news)

tip 9:

-gaming has made a big impact for my social and emotional health and im very pleased and surprised by how much it has a positive effect. Very fortunately I was able to buy a device for a form fitting keypad and mouse its really great and made gaming possible with less pain.

tip 10:

-Keep a few food bars/snacks by bed.

this concludes my list off the top of my head. my eyes are getting tired now so I shall rest. Rest well other chronically ill friends!

#ME/CFS my list of things that have been helpful for me

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positivityoutsiderecovery · 1 year

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my CP is mild and i know im physically disabled because of it. but it doesnt affect me as much as it would someone who has it more severe or someone who is in pain more often than not, so it feels like impostor syndrome when i acknowledge i am disabled. yet i cant relate to a fully able-bodied person either. i feel like i dont fit in anywhere and it gets frustrating :/

The thing is, that comparison game isn't benefiting anyone. Ever. Yeah maybe you have it easier in some ways than someone who needs crutches or a cane to get around. But then they could argue that being in a wheelchair is "more severe." And then the person in the manual wheelchair could point at someone in a power chair and say "well they have it even harder" and then the one in the power wheelchair could point at someone who's completely bedbound and make the same point and so on until the only "winner" is literally dead. So since no one is winning, we might as well cancel the competition.

#por asks #internalized ableism tw

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kaeyapilled · 1 year

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u should tell me more about asa PRETTYPLEASE

AUGH I REALLY DONT HAVE MUCH. does it have to be only the genshin related parts? well yes ill stick to that because he has like four different flavors depending on what universe i put him in. okay so

this is roughly what he looks like. i thought i had more good picrews of him but i dont apparently<//3 well heres some fun facts about him like in general to start

- best friends with my oc sofia who. i haven't really put into the genshin universe. but if the people ask i can talk about her too loll

- ambulatory wheelchair user, typically uses a cane, has Some chronic illness that i dont really know which,, pots probably. unspecified chronic pain. but the thing is im not chronically ill or disabled myself so i need to search more stuff before im super confident exploring this side of his character lmao

- sadly he is just like baizhu. the chronically ill doctor trope is already filled in genshin but there's always space for someone else! right!

- not pictured here but sometimes i make him have wings. i still haven't decided if he should actually have them or not. when he has wings only one is functional so he can't quite Fly

- wings or no wings he likes birds a lot!

- i chose his name because it means healer or doctor in....hebrew i think? according to google? and it also means just. "wing". in my mother tongue portuguese so kshdksh hitting two symbolisms with one stone

- now focusing on the genshin part. his father is the actual doctor in charge of the cathedral infirmary but is currently on the varka expedition (look this guy's father is. I don't know what to do with him. like in any universe. idk if i give asa oc syndrome and make him a full orphan or if i just leave the man alone because he's a solid guy! a good father! anyways i digress) and asa is in charge sort of in a similar situation to jean being acting grandmaster.

- i think he's besties with barbara. she's like a younger sister. because i think hes around jeans age. (and dilucs and kaeyas i think all of them r around the same age)

- he has an anemo vision but don't ask me how he got it

- catalyst user and healer but do not ask me like what sort of talents he'd have i dont know. don't ask me if he's a 4* or a 5* either i don't know,, but if he were to have a banner his like. title? idk? would be, and this is kinda stupid, Healing Winds of Birdsong - does it not sound like something you'd read on a genshin banner. i think does

- hes very devout to barbatos but at the same time i kinda enjoy the idea of him. questioning some stuff about the archons and gods too. like those medieval(? do not quote me on this) philosophers who thought extensively about religion and the human condition and. etc. does this make sense

- if he knew the annoying bard is no one other than the anemo archon i think he'd combust

- he picks up his fantasy testosterone prescription at the alchemy shop. the image of albedo and sucrose coming up with hrt is just too dear to me

- i want him and kaeya to kiss just because im a kaeya lover and. why not. but i don't have anything developed about them At All forgive me

do you want to see my cringefail voicelines i wrote?

Something to Share: Did you know that Mondstadt alone has over three hundred species of birds? Around the city area, you mostly see pigeons and falcons, but the diversity in places with less human activity is much bigger. Also, a lot of the birds migrate during the winter months, towards warmer climates like Liyue and even Sumeru. Oh, and— um... Forgive me, I seem to have been talking for a while... It's a topic that interests me.

Favorite Food: I tend to like more savory dishes. In fact, Sofia won't let me cook anymore, because I "put too much salt in the food". You know, I don't see the problem. It tastes fine to me.

- oh!! on the topic of favorite foods! i tried coming up with a special dish for him and i ended up picking northern smoked fowl because. vibes. but its a stamina dish and i kinda wish his special dish was a hp one.,, but anyway:

Special Dish: Doctor's Orders

Asa's specialty. The same recipe for smoked fowl with vegetables that's been passed down in Mondstadt for years, with the doctor's own twists. It's a little heavy on the salt, but it tastes really good overall.

plus character voicelines

About Barbara: Barbara? Oh, we wouldn't manage at the cathedral if it wasn't for her. I have taught her a lot, but the healing techniques she comes up with never fail to amaze me. Her presence always brightens up the place and soothes even the most ill of patients. I hold her in very high regards.

About Rosaria: I can't say I approve of Sister Rosaria's negligence towards her duties in the church, or of her blatant disrespect towards the Anemo Archon. That being said... I think I admire her conviction to simply do whatever she wants. Perhaps trying to force her into the role of nun is a bit foolish. This is the city of freedom, after all, is it not?

About Venti: The bard? *sigh* Archons above. He'll sing beautiful melodies about Lord Barbatos, then turn around and immediately slur out the most sacrilegious things I have ever heard in my life. Being around him for too long is exhausting and he always brings trouble. Yet, I find that I can't truly dislike him. Heh, he's an interesting one for sure.

and my entirely self indulgent and overly long About Kaeya voiceline:

About Kaeya: Sir Kaeya? Way too much of a charmer. That overly confident attitude ought to backfire on him sometime. It's easy to get swept away in all his smooth talk, but after a while you start to see it for what it is: a convoluted way to either change the subject or make you the center of his jests... *sigh* Well... I suppose that, when he wants, he isn't entirely awful to talk to... Hm? What? Who– who told you that? No! Why would I go to the tavern "just to see him"!? That's– *ahem* It isn't like that. Is it that far fetched that I might enjoy a drink during my moments of leisure? It's not my fault if the Captain is there all the time... Hmph, did Sofia put you up to this?

yeah. what else can I say about him. i thought of writing character stories for him but couldnt find enough ideas. here's the only salvageable paragraph:

... Asa can recall exactly what Mother Maria told him when he came to her, realization still fresh in his mind, desperate for some sort of guidance.

"The winds lead each of us through different paths. Barbatos has granted you with the power to choose whoever you wish to be; that is part of His gift of freedom."

Like a gust of cool wind that brings with it epiphanies, something clicked inside his chest, like the pieces of a puzzle falling into place.

And it was on that day that the little girl who used to dream of nunhood grew into a sharp young man who named himself "Asa."

okay this is all I've got. for now

#it isnt All of it there's still the underdeveloped alternate universe where he's an amurta student from mondstadt studying in sumeru #but its just a really disconnected idea #my posts #oc tag #right how could i forget. he is definitely some degree of autistic #okay im sleepy and just. typed this entire post like in one sitting #so i didn't proofread it. okay have fun reading my infodump

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vex-bittys · 2 years

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Hello! Id like a match up please. Im pretty set on a chain but id like to get 1 or 2(or three) other bitties so im curious which ones would fit best for me.

Im 21 yrs old, nonbinary/transman, native and physically disabled. Im typically shy and quiet around new people but once i get to know you, im jokingly flirtatious and confedient, making lots of puns and gutter-minded jokes. Im artistic and i like drawing, writing, knitting, diamond push art, animation, character design and all sorts of stuff. Im very creative and ive even made my own languages and multiple stories that'd id love to turn into games or animations or just lots stuff. I also really like horror movies and anime as well as love a variety of video games like minecraft, skyrim, pokemon, animal crossing and the sims. I like to talk alot about philosophy, morals and other cultures, especially their languages, religions and foods.

However i do have limitations. Due to my autism, i can have meltdowns where i have to sit down and stim or else ill cry, i have a hard time getting sarcasm and i get overwhelmed easily. I also tend to rely alot on earbuds and music in public settings so i dont get overwhelmed or anxious. As a result, i sometimes need to use sign language as i get too over whelmed or trigged to speak. Due to my physical disabilities, i some times need to use a wheelchair or a cane and i suffer from chronic pain and severe fatigue, often limping. I also get random bouts of vertigo that graduate to passing out and muscle weakness. I also have triggers due to trauma so smoking and yelling are gonna be off the table.

On to bitty needs, i already plan on getting a human/full sized chain as a caregiver/friend of sorts but id also like to potentially get 2 regular/snake sized lamias as well for more campaign/pet purposes. Id like them to be handleable generally( they dont have to be super cuddly but ye), be ok with cold rooms(as my disability makes me constantly boil alive. Also hi! I was the anon who asked about which bitties were great with the cold!), be open to trying new things and going new places and at least abit talkative. They also will have to be open to learning sign language and not get too frightened when i fall as i know it can be kinda scary, even when people know im ok.

They also will have to be ok with their base needs being met by a full sized chain on the days where i cant get up to get them water or food(the chain would be well cared for so no cannibalism would be a possibility). Id also like to avoid super venomous ones as that terrifies me. Abit of venom is ok but none that are very dangerous. A krait would be the only exception to the no very-venomous rule.

*Thankfully, Chains will only cannibalize if they think another bitty is a threat. If you can’t be safe around that bitty, a Chain stops seeing it as a fellow bitty and starts to see it as a snack. I picked out a few lamias that will work well with your specific needs and get along with a Chain!

My recommendations for you are:

Papython (UT!Papyrus): Papythons are incredibly sweet lamias who love to help out whenever they can. Many of the Papythons in the shop have some healing and medical training which might be helpful with a disability. Papythons love games like Minecraft and the Sims, so you’ll definitely have someone to enjoy games with.

Krait (Gaster): Kraits are quiet lamias, and you don’t have to worry about him using his venom. Kraits are extremely aware of their deadly bite and will always be careful not to use it. Many Kraits learn sign language to communicate with FireRings, so it would be easy enough to find one that fit your communication needs. Kraits are also super intelligent and love to learn about other cultures.

Honey Bo (US!Papyrus): Honey Bo is a perceptive lamia who takes a bit of time to build trust with his adopter. Once he’s built that trust, however, he is an excellent friend and confidant. Honey Bos are very perceptive and would love to listen to you talk about philosophy and other cultures. Expect him to fully participate in the discussion with well thought out answers.

*While these lamias aren’t the usual good-in-the-cold lamias, they would all wear cuddly sweaters to stay warm if it meant you were comfortable! You could also get a FireRing to help warm them if you wanted. Please let me know if you’d like an adoption scenario and which lamia(s) you’d like to adopt!

#vexy answers #anon ask #lamia bitty matchup #lamia bittybones #papython bitty #chain bitty #krait bitty #honey bo bitty

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femmascthing · 1 year

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sorry for another vent i need to get this one off my chest ( cw for ableism )

i really. feel bad for my family. 3/4 of the people in this house are disabled or very likely disabled. my brother is epileptic and cant work because of it, i experience chronic leg pain, chronic fatigue and an extremely weak immune system that makes me feel like im always sick, and my mom experiences pain in her right side of her body nearly all the time as well as having a weak immune system. it doesnt help that my grandmother is in the hospital and mom and i dont think we can visit her because my mom thinks shes sick and i always feel sick. it doesnt help that my anxiety is extremely high. my current therapist im seeing had me do an anxiety test. average score was ~25, i got in the 60s. my anxiety makes me hate going to school, making calls, hanging out with people, standing up for myself, etc. nobody will believe i am chronically ill. ive been told its just because im out of shape, but nobody ever thinks "why is she out of shape? why is she unable to exercise without feeling ill? why does she struggle to walk some days? why is she unable to go out in the cold without feeling sick?" nobody will ever believe me because im not visibly disabled. i dont need a wheelchair or cane most days but some days i surely feel like i do. nobody will ever take my mental disabilities seriously either. because my hormones and mood swings are high, i may not ever get a bpd diagnosis. i may never have my autism taken seriously because im on the "high functioning" side of the spectrum. i may never have my psychosis taken seriously because im "creative and imaginative." im so tired of everything at this point. im in highschool, my final years. thinking about this makes me want to cry. i want to be able to hang out with people, i want to be able to attend school regularly, i want to be able to understand concepts despite me being absent when they were taught. i hope that if i am able to attend university or college, i will be able to be taken seriously. but on the bright side, im medicated for at least anxiety/depression finally. its been helping a lot, which im very happy about. but if theres one thing i dont want a diagnosis for its my did. i dont want to experience constant fakeclaiming by others and especially professionals because im the main fronter unless we are experiencing high stress or a traumatic event. i dont want people to avoid me because of my disorders. but to everyone in my school, im the weird art kid who likes anime and fashion that has anxiety that everyone thinks im faking. its clear im not but honestly i dont fucking care if people think im faking my anxiety. its my issue, not theirs. they arent the ones who get so stressed out a huge rash appears on their skin and doesnt go away, its me.

#charlottes venting #i fucking hate being disabled!!!#i want to be a normal teenager. i want to be able to do everything #that everyone else can #i hate it

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queerautism · 2 years

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ok so for disability ask - I've known for a while that I have disabilities such as DID and CPTSD that is disabiling for me, as well as adhd (which i have had funding ready for and paperwork assigned to me to get diagnosed with for a year, and still haven't finished... god, paperwork.......) and autism but I don't count autism as being disabling for me.

but I think I'm also physically disabled and i'm starting to be more honest with myself about it and recognizing? so as far as physical conditions:

dizziness/lightheadedness when standing up after sitting/lying. it's been happening since I was a very young kid. i'm pretty sure its POTS but the one time i tried to tell a doctor when i was a teen she just told me to drink more water. it didn't fix it.

hypermobility in joints, toes and fingers locking in the wrong direction, this has happened for several years, as far back as middle school tbh. also my nose is really squishy and squishes more than cartilage should. i think this is Ehlers Danlos, ive done some reading on it but not enough, i wish i could get in touch with a specialist who actually knows about it.

pain. my back always hurts. like its at about a 2 usually. if i dont focus on it its not all encompassing but i do feel it, especially if im thinking about it. that's just like, regular pain though. i also get hip pain and sometimes my limbs hurt so bad down to the bone and radiating that I wish I could amputate them. its fucking BAD and theres nothing i can do about it, it just lasts for a while, is terrible, takes all my focus, restricts my movement (usually its down through my whole leg and makes it hard to walk), and then it goes away and doesn't happen again for like a month. its varied in intensity through my life but its been around a very long time

also asthma???? i cant really run or anything, i have to have an inhaler or i cant manage it

also i get very dizzy and uncomfortable when i have to stand for long periods (30 minutes, an hour) it becomes all i can think about is how hard it is to keep standing. i try to squat or sit on the floor when i can. i've been wanting to buy a walking stick/cane, i really need one honestly. so long walks or long times standing is really hard on me. its actually wild to me that people can just like stand??? for a while???? like maybe its uncomfy but like its not a big deal???? i have to go lay down for a WHILE after standing that much it sucks

anyway im pretty sure i am physically disabled but im still questioning i guess. and i really need to see a doctor for looking into pots/ehlers danlos but i have no clue how to, or how to get someone good, or anything really. and i want a cane so bad :(( i always lean on the carts when shopping as a mobility aid, i never want to use the little basket because i wont have somewhere to lean. and honestly i think that I am going to use a wheelchair in the future. like part time or full time but i am gonna need a wheelchair eventually. i don't think im gonna get like, less frail. but its super hard for me to convince myself that its ok for me to get a wheelchair, but when the time comes im gonna have to do whats right for me without stigmatizing it. nobody loses anything from my use of a wheelchair. just gonna feel structural ableism in city and building design really acutely.

You are physically disabled like for real buddy but also?? Please try out a rollator if you can. Highly highly recommend if you're doing stuff like leaning on shopping carts and find standing difficult, they are absolutely amazing. I can just sit whenever!

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ashintheairlikesnow · 4 years

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hi ash! i know you said before that you're not autistic you just did a lot of research to depict chris realistically- do you have any advice for finding resources on writing disabled characters that isn't like... horribly abelist? im writing someone with an intellectual disability from head trauma and who is nonverbal, and i want to get it right but everything online seems very autism-speaks-y. im autistic and semiverbal but i dont have an id and i want to be realistic and respectful.

I cannot speak with any expertise or sense of speaking from enough experience to be taken as an expert here, and defer as always to those with lived experience with intellectual disability!

But I will give a few more general tips for what to do when looking to write a character with a neurological makeup that doesn’t match your own, as far as what has worked for me with Chris:

1. The story should never be ABOUT their lived experience if you do not also have it. Chris’s story is not about autism, or being autistic. I would never presume to try and write a story like that because, whatever my intentions, I don’t have that knowledge that comes from living it. I would at BEST be taking the experiences of others, their voices. At worst, I would be someone standing with a megaphone shouting over those who deserve to be heard.

Making the disability what the plot revolves around is... generally just not going to be a good idea, in any sense. It’s moments like this where I feel like it’s best to defer to the writers who have lived it, instead.

This is not to say “never write someone different than yourself”, because... I don’t think that’s at all good advice. I think that way lies stunted writers who never push themselves. But it does mean “do not center the story on this thing if you have not experienced it and don’t have that knowledge and understanding”.

2. At the same time, don’t try to be coy or dance around or hide the disability behind purple prose or refuse to acknowledge its reality. Trying to make a disability sound cute, or talk around it instead of speaking it out loud, can be minimizing or shaming in ways that I think it’s easy to miss, if you don’t live with that disability yourself! To me, this touches on one of my hugest pet peeves - characters who are written as having a particular neurodivergence in media, or shown on tv, but they never expressly admit to it or name it.

I know I hesitated with Chris, more because I didn’t feel comfortable giving him a diagnosis until I understood autism better myself, and I do regret how long it took me to embrace that reality about him. I just thought it better to err on the side of researching before I embraced. But I do feel some guilt about waiting so long when I had readers who were identifying so heavily with him, and I kind of knew, but just didn’t feel comfortable owning it yet.

3. On a related note - disabilities in a story that become melodramatic tragedy or turn the disabled character into a ‘redemption story’ for an abled character. This is so, so prevalent in common media and pop culture and once you recognize it for what it is, it’s so hard to not see it in so many places. Think of how many movies, novels, etc contain a disabled character who exists to teach abled people some virtuous lesson about living life to the fullest or ‘what it really means to be human’ blah blah blah blah blah. Don’t do that. Please. (I mean, I kind of feel like you definitely won’t, but I’m just speaking very generally here). If you find the story going in a direction in which abled people learn something from the disabled person, please think very carefully and critically as to why the story is heading in that direction.

Language alone can also be a problem here - think about the difference between openly describing a character moving around their life with a wheelchair vs. calling them “wheelchair-bound” or “reliant on a cane”, when the cane or wheelchair may actually represent freedom to that person - an aid they need, yes, but one that allows them to live with far more agency than they might have had otherwise.

To describe them, especially from their own POV, as “wheelchair-bound”, may ring false to disabled people who understand that the wheelchair isn’t a cage, but a tool that allows that individual person to feel less caged by being able to more freely leave home.

(This varies person to person, just providing an example)

4. Educate. Research. And don’t just do so by asking people with disabilities to tell you their stories. I often express gratitude to the autistic readers, those with ADHD, etc who spoke up about Chris, talked about their own experiences, identified with him, found him very resonating for aspects of their own lives.

These stories, this information, this sharing of their lives was given freely to me, and I’m fucking amazed and grateful for how welcomed Chris was, and how willing readers were to share about themselves when talking about him.

Their willingness to speak about these things is something I treasure. But I absolutely would never believe that a single person owed me the story of their life to make sure I got Chris right. That was my responsibility, you know? I try to keep in mind the concept of ‘emotional labor’. Asking a disabled person to be your resource is asking them to give, and give, and give of themself. They may want to give you that kind of labor, they may not. But I definitely wouldn’t ask it of anyone without understanding it was something they were happy or felt comfortable giving.

Research, on the other hand, is essential. You mentioned things being “autism speaks-y” when trying to research on your own, and oh god, do I feel you. It sucks that autism speaks is the first thing to pop up when trying to research the lives of autistic people - and in my research, I was lucky to already know AS sucks and write them off and anyone who heavily referenced them as not helpful. I can see how someone might not know that, though, and stumble on them and believe they were a helpful resource for writing autism when they... well. Nope.

Try to think about the express disability you are writing for this person, and why, and then go research! I looked up “books on autism recommended by autistic people”, and found some invaluable books, yes, but also papers published online, websites, etc! Each of them vetted and looked over and recommended by autistic people, so I knew I was getting information that came from people with those experiences and that understanding. A good example - I picked up a book on the history of diagnosis and treatment of autism in the United States, mentioned it here, and @redwingedwhump recommended a book called Neurotribes... which turned out to be immensely more helpful, spot-on, and provided some really excellent foundational information I wouldn’t have found in the first book at all.

There’s a lot of information out there on Traumatic Brain Injuries and their lasting effects on individuals who receive them, so I would start there. What you’re describing sounds like a TBI with lasting effects! So I would start your research there, and also look up being nonverbal separately, as well as combining the two. Make sure you’re not just looking at the top links - often paid ads or problematic organizations that are able to pay more for better exposure - but also scanning for blogs, nonprofits, lived-experiences stories, too.

I found a lot of information on the second or even third page of results i would never have seen if I only stuck to the first. Remember the algorithm on search engines is usually showing you what other people are clicking on, not necessarily the best source.

5. This is one you the asker already know, but I want to include it for general reasons: do not ‘dumb down’ the thought processes of a nonverbal or semi-verbal person. I see this in fiction surprisingly often, and I think it’s this sense we have as abled people (’we’ just meaning I’m including myself) that being verbal is required to have a highly complex thought process, and it’s... it’s just fucking not. Speech and though are related but not completely wound around each other, and the ability to verbalize is not the same as the ability to think.

Like I said, I know you know this, asker, but it’s something I see in fiction/media and it drives me up the wall. So I wanted to include it.

6. For the love of God, do not use medical terminology unless you actually know what you’re doing/talking about. Many disabled people or those with serious medical conditions become what amounts to experts on their own diagnoses, because they have to. They have to be experts to receive the care they should be able to rely on. If you constantly fuck up terminology - trust me - it will be noticed, and it will take people out of the story or hurt their ability to suspend disbelief while reading.

There are ways to do medical scenes/conversations with doctors that avoid falling into this problem! I would just be very very careful to heavily research before using any complex terminology.

7. This disabled person does not exist to evoke pity. They are a human - nuanced and multi-layered - living their life, and their story should always, always reflect that. I don’t really have anything else to add to that.

I would love to hear further advice from anyone with anything else to add.

#writing advice #writing

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cpunkwitch · 10 months

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i feel like i need to talk to someone about me getting a wheelchair

theres so many things holding me back from doing it

-i live on a hill, sidewalks are shit and cars drive fast and close to the curb a lot here -my parents already think im being a bit dramatic at times with my cane, theyre just getting used to me using it and my dad still makes comments about it from time to time, if i got a wheelchair that judgement would go up like 10 notches -im really tight on money and while i know theres a few places that might give them for free im pretty sure theyre american and im in canada -my mom has offered to let me use her back brace if it wasnt summer and that thing wouldnt cook me alive in the heat, i might ask if i could use her rollator from time to time but i doubt shed let me and i dont know if it would help much more than my cane -still getting over a lot of internal stuff to get myself to even use my cane regardless of how little its helping when i do. mix of self esteem, internalized ableism and other shit like that -etc

i want to figure something out that works if i didnt have the rest of that stuff to worry about, i might be able to set aside some of my inheritance after paying the first term of my tuition to get a cheap wheelchair somewhere but thats still not very likely

i know getting one would make things so much easier on my body if everything else wasnt in the way, id use it on the worst days of pain and during trips i know id otherwise have to be on my feet a while for. if i didnt have so many things holding me back id have one right now

i dont even know who id talk to let alone how id bring this up with my mom(cuz i trust her better than my dad seeing as shes also disabled) without an argument over aids and my body if i even could.

i guess im looking for advice on my situation, tips that could help out be it handling any of my obstacles, something i could do to make things easier on my body, what have you

im at a loss i broke down over this last night because my legs gave out on me and i laid collapsed on my floor for a bit before pulling myself up with my cane with much struggle.

i dont know why ableds think at all that we're 100% fine and functionable if we're not immobile and bedridden in the hospital. this shit is my life and has been for years because of a fuckup in my spine i was born with among other shit. i hate it.

#cass rants #cass asks #actually disabled #disability blogging #physically disabled #cripplepunk #physical disability #cpunk blog #wheelchair #cane #mobility aids #disabled vent

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800-dick-pics · 4 years

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uwu i wish i could go hiking (or just long walks) without passing out

its like mostly pots and 5 other disorders that literally make it a risk/unhealthy for me to be active, but sadly im fat disabled and black so its not like people actually believe me when i say that

i fucking love to be outside! i miss doing photography/filming trips, i miss hiking with my friends, i miss being able to run fast without pain, i miss swimming in the ocean, miss being able to do cartwheels and walk on my hands. i really hate that ppl like look at me and think im lazy or that im not trying to be "healthy" when they dont even know what health is for me!!!!!!

if i was able to afford a wheelchair and actually was able to go outside more then lots of ppl would see me as "giving up", when it would really; save me from passing out on the sidewalk, save me from being in lots of pain, save my joints from shifting around, save my energy, give me more freedom to do what i wanted again

my cane doesnt cut it for everything, and my crutches got messed, so ive just been stuck besides work, and like i cant even bring my cane to work so im pushing myself so hard to have the lil amount of income i have, and even if 2k dropped in my lap for a wheelchair, ummm im still autistic, severe dissociator, with cpstd so like i still wouldnt be able to do everything i truly wanted. like its about 3 maybe 4 folks i enjoy/positively tolerate touch from and are chill with being around or in close proximity to, but 99.99% of ppl who are constantly in my space are not that and ive been researching service dogs for years bc im so tired of not being able to be in a store/mall/crowded place for 45 mins at a time bc of sensory overload, the people, the lights, the sounds, the words and prices of food, its literally too much.

i wish i had the money and resources to like get a wheelchair, to like find a sd prospect, to get all the medical care i would need to stop passing out, to stop throwing up, to stop getting sicker and sicker

im so tired

#dont rebloop #me #personal #vent #im like mad and depressed

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trickstarbrave · 6 years

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ppl are still rly mad abt this post, but i figure ill restate it in longer words to have it ‘make more sense’ cause you all cant think

my body is not “incorrect”. it has things wrong with it, but it is not wrong. because no matter WHAT i do with it it will stay the same body. i dont really like the mentality of “no matter what you do your body was a mistake, something that should have never happened, and you will be broken your whole life regardless of any hormones, surgery, treatment, medication, and devices to help you get around.

secondly this post is about oppression see, thats why i put the word ‘transphobia’ in there. and if i get on hormones, get every surgery possible, and look like a perfect passing cis man, i will never be that. it doesnt matter if i throw any feminine things i own in the garbage (let alone the fact cis men are being encouraged now to wear makeup and garbage but suddenly im the issue here), i will never be cis. nor will i be a binary person at all. and guess what? people will find out. people who look through my records will see it. my family will know about it and disown me for it. i could lose jobs over it, or housing, or as the current US administration wants it--i can be denied medical care under the basis of ‘religious freedom’. my body is not the issue with my oppression, society is the issue with my oppression.

same thing with disability, i have a genetic disorder. its often times incredibly painful, not to mention scary bc jfc i cant even get in for further testing to see if i have the type that makes it so your organs and arteries can spontaneously explode. i cant fucking walk properly. im not sitting here and telling you “uwu i dont need anything from medicine!!!!!!!!!” im sitting here telling you there is NOTHING to make this go away. i will never, in my life, be able to walk properly from here on out. a light walk without a cane is doable with limited pain. long distances are impossible without getting a horrific limp and gait. i need a wheelchair for anything intensive. these are issues with my body

however: it is not ‘my fault’ i cant get a wheelchair up places with no ramp. its not ‘my fault’ i cant fucking get on a bus properly at my university. its not ‘my fault’ people block the wheelchair accessible doors. its not my fault i have to choose between getting to class in pain or showing up everywhere 20-30 minutes late in my chair while being made to feel like a burden to everyone else around me. i deserve to participate in social situations as much as able bodied people can. this isnt ‘asking for special treatment’ because i am asking for the exact same shit other people already fucking get.

my body has things wrong with it but my body itself is not a mistake. i should be able to correct things and get around without hatred, discrimination, and shame, because until oppressive systems are dismantled, no matter how much i try to pass as cis and able bodied i will never actually be treated as equal to my cis and able bodied peers. it doesnt matter how much i focus on changing those things, i cannot bend reality. i will still need hormones, and surgery, and my cane and wheelchair, medication, and physical therapy (which is a bitch to get into rn). those things DONT SOLVE OPPRESSION! BUT I NEED THEM!

but sure w/e lie and say im saying “I DONT WANT HORMONES OR SURGERY AND I THINK MY BODY WHICH HAS ORGANS THAT CAN EXPLODE AT ANY MOMENT IS PERFECT AND EVERYONE SHOULD NEVER SEE A DOCTOR OR GET HELP EVER UWU” because thats so much easier to argue and talk down to than addressing the actual points of removing transphobia and ableism (and everything else actually) from society. because none of you care about doing that. you care about putting words in the mouth of someone disabled and trans. you care more about your own narrative of self loathing for pity from cisgender people, while acting tough and only ‘calling out transphobia’ by saying other trans people are cis (though i see none of you calling out your transphobic anti-sjw followers funny how that is)

(also im not taking ‘critical responses’ on this post that ignore my actual main points. if you say anything about ‘entitlement’ and ‘fake trans people’ and ‘your body IS broken tho!!! here is why you NEED to buy into my narrative of your life or youre lying!’ i will not respond seriously. either you take this seriously or dont bother responding at all)

#bold #caps lock #long post #truscum #transphobia #and thats a wrap on this #ableism

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