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#but it's coming...i think

dragonmama76 · 8 months

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Beginnings Part 2

read Part One, and Interlude first. Part 3 is done!.

Eddie was the opposite of calm. He was terrified well beyond rational thought and he had one intention. Survive. By any means necessary. When he jumped out of the boat and pressed the edge of the broken bottle against his attacker’s throat nothing could have stopped him. Except. “Steve, this is Steve!” Steve. Steve who he had wronged. Steve who he had bullied. Steve with the perfect life that maybe wasn’t so perfect. And he stopped.

************

Eddie’s cup runneth over. His public display of dominance had been more than enough to establish a reputation that he was not to be fucked with. He didn’t even need to torment Steve to keep the memory alive, but Eddie continued his menacing glances and subtle jabs nonetheless. Because he could. Because it was fun. It was that feeling you get when you’re five years old and you’ve just completed some kick ass move like jumping off the swing at it’s zenith and you shout to your parents, “Look at me! Look at me!” His own parents had never looked. They had never been there to begin with. But now. Now everyone was looking at what he had done and it felt so fucking good. He couldn’t be too obvious since the basketball team had rallied around Steve, keeping him out of bounds most of the time, but he still found sly little opportunities to flash his knife or murmur a not so subtle threat when Steve came near. It was enough to keep his high feeling fresh.

By the time the school year was over, even local drug dealer Rick Lipton had heard of him. When Eddie decided that manual labor didn’t fit his new image, he proposed they begin a business relationship and Rick was quick to agree. He knew that Eddie could handle himself if there was trouble and having a dealer embedded in the high school made sense. Eddie spent the next two years dealing at school and weekend parties and while he wasn’t exactly accepted, no one messed with him and he only rarely had to display his feral nature to the jocks that ran the school. In the meantime, he convinced the theater teacher to sponsor an after school club for his gang of nerds. Mr. Hughes didn’t know what Dungeons & Dragons was, exactly, but it felt dramatic and he was happy to oblige. If only Eddie put as much energy into his academic responsibilities as he had done with his social life he would have been out of High School in a quick minute. But he was too busy enjoying the life he created for himself to consider the consequences.

Senior year, Steve pulled up to the school in his BMW feeling pretty great for the first time in his high school career. He had an amazing girlfriend, basketball was starting soon, and best of all there would be no more run-ins with Munson. It wasn’t that he was scared of him, exactly. After that day in the cafeteria Freshman year Munson had backed off for the most part. Sure he still glared at him and whispered threats and flashed his stupid knife, but for the most part Steve was able to avoid him and pretend he didn’t exist. It helped that they never had any classes together. And while the freak had managed to be at every house party Steve attended, he preferred alcohol over drugs anyway so they had zero interaction. And beyond that, Steve now knew there were much scarier things in the world than a high school kid with a knife. No, he wasn’t afraid, it was just…a lot. Munson was obviously still a live wire waiting to strike and Steve had to be vigilant. He had put up walls and created a persona of his own to balance out the bully that still dogged him and it took a lot of effort to mask his more vulnerable, sensitive side. Most of his energy went to creating the character of King Steve that everyone now expected and that he hated.. He had done things he regretted, that shit show with Jonathan Byers for example, and he had willingly lost friends in the process, good riddance to Tommy H. and Carol, but he was trying to scale back the arrogant jock attitude and be more himself, especially with Nancy.

His guard was so low that when he sauntered into his first class ready to take on the world Steve was completely blindsided when the freak, himself, pushed past him to grab a seat in the back. Steve could feel the pinpricks of tears forming. He couldn’t do this. Not again. Not when he thought he was finally free. He bolted from the room and straight into the bathroom before anyone could really register he was gone. Shit. Shit shit shit. He was pretty sure someone up there hated him these days. He had fought an other-worldly creature no problem, but it was still Eddie Munson who had the power to make him run. This year was officially going to suck.

Eddie watched Steve run from the classroom and grinned. He still had it, baby. Maybe his second senior year would actually be fun.

Steve’s senior year was anything but fun. Steve graduated. His parents didn’t come. His ex-girlfriend didn’t come. A bunch of middle school kids came and cheered for him and that was nice, but also kind of embarrassing. This was apparently his life now. The brightspot? Eddie Munson’s name wasn’t called. Not that Steve was listening for it. Eddie Munson could go to hell as far as he was concerned. But he couldn’t help but feel a little relieved not to have to share this day with him.

Eddie watched from under the bleachers as Steve Harrington received his diploma along with the rest of his class. Whatever. Fuck him and his perfect hair and his perfect life.

Eddie was definitely pissed to be doing Senior year for the third time, but there were still moments of joy like when he gathered new freshman sheepies. His original group of freshmen had finally graduated without him, but he still had Jeff, Frank, and Gareth and now he was ready to induct a new crew. They were a little wary, and if he didn’t know better he’d say they looked kind of shellshocked, sort of like some of Uncle Wayne’s friends who had been to ‘Nam. With Eddie’s outlandish personality and dramatic welcome they opened up eventually. He liked the curly hair kid, Dustin, the best. God that kid never shut up, though which, depending on the topic, could be annoying.

Right now Eddie was extra annoyed because the topic he wouldn’t shut up about was Steve Fucking Harrington. Was that guy going to haunt him for the rest of his life?

“Eddie, you’d like Steve if you knew him. I asked him and he was kind of weird about it, but he says he didn’t really get to know you in high school and I think that’s a shame because he was bullied really badly and I bet you could have helped him and protected him.”

“What are you talking about, kid? King Steve was never bullied a day in his life.” Eddie scoffed.

“No, he was.” Lucas nodded sagely. “He said that the only reason it didn’t totally destroy him was that he had the basketball team on his side. That’s one of the reasons I’m doing basketball. You got to have people on your side. That’s what Steve says.”

“Steve says,” Eddie mimicked, “Jocks can’t be bullied, they ARE the bullies.”

“That’s not true. I’m not a bully.” Lucas muttered.

“Yeah, well you’re more nerd than jock.”

“Steve’s a nerd too.” Dustin insisted, “He just doesn’t show it, but he watches Star Wars with me all the time and he has a huge collection of Spiderman comics stashed in his bedroom. Even Robin calls him a dingus. Do you know Robin? I think they should date but she says they are platonic with a capital P. I think that’s crap with a capital C. They’ll get their shit together eventually.”

“I….don’t know if I know Robin?” Eddie’s head is starting to spin. “So who bullied King Steve?”

“He won’t say, but it started freshman year. He gave us a big talk before school started about being safe and staying in a group. I guess the kid, like, followed him around and would push him and stuff. And one time he even pulled a knife on him. That’s crazy right? He said he was afraid to go to school for all of freshman year. It’s awful because Steve had, well he wouldn’t want me to say, but he doesn’t have great parents so home sucked and school sucked. I wish you guys had been friends. And then maybe he could have been in Hellfire or something. He’s great with a bat and I bet his character…”

Eddie couldn’t listen anymore. His brain was on overload. Had he really done all that to Steve? Actually caused him pain?

Well. Fuck.

“Roooobin,” Steve whined, “Are you even listening to me?” They were behind the counter at Family Video rewinding tapes while they waited for even one customer to come in to relieve their boredom.

“I AM listening, Steve,” she reasoned, “But I think you’re letting your jockish prejudices get in the way of rational thought. Hellfire is just a group of nerds who role play and I know Eddie can look all scary and intimidating, but he’s totally not a bad guy. We were in band together last year and he’s honestly just a big goofball. Yeah, he’s loud and okay, a drug dealer, but I know for sure that he doesn’t sell to underclassmen so you don’t have to worry about that. The kids are fine with him.”

“You don’t know him like I do.” Steve glowered, “And…well, I’m afraid that if he knows the kids are associated with me that he’ll, like, take it out on them.”

“Why? What did you do to him?” Robin glared and Steve knew she thought there was some bullshit King Steve incident in their past and all of a sudden it was too much. He couldn’t bring himself to tell her how weak he had been, but also this was ROBIN and he couldn’t stand the idea that she thought of him that way.

“NOTHING!” he burst out, “I did NOTHING to him EVER.” And suddenly he couldn’t breathe. Tears pooled in his eyes and it felt like something was going to burst out of his chest, like that gross Sigourney Weaver film Robin had made him watch. He sank to his knees and pressed his hands to his eyes.

“Okay. You’re okay, Steve.” Robin hunched over him. She placed a firm hand on his chest, “I've got you. Breathe with me. In and out. You’re safe. I’m here and you’re safe.”

Steve managed some gasping breaths and could feel his heart rate coming down. Right. This was Robin, his soulmate, he could tell her and she would understand. “It started the first day of freshman year…”

Eddie didn’t end Hellfire early, even though he felt nauseous and increasingly distracted. He owed it to the group as their DM to see it through so he pushed his feelings aside and let the kids get through a tough battle before calling it a night. “Okay, that’s it for now. You don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here. Y'all got rides lined up?”

“Yeah, we’re getting picked up,” muttered Mike, “He’s probably already out there waiting.” “Alright then, chariots may wait no longer. Scram!” Eddie hurried everyone out the door and quickly cleaned up the papers and books sprawled on the table. As he made his way out he could hear the kids chattering away about the most recent developments in the campaign and as he burst through the gym door he heard a sharp whistle. “Can we please let’s go before your parents kill me for missing your curfew? I’ve been out here forever waiting for you guys to be done.” Eddie knew that voice. He looked up straight into the eyes of Steve Harrington. He was dressed in his regular polo and jeans, hair perfect as always, leaning confidently on the hood of his BMW, but as Eddie caught his eye he saw the boy flinch and round his shoulders. Christ Almighty. What had Eddie done?

Eddie didn’t even remember driving home. He was at school in his van and then he was fully dressed in his bed. Over and over his mind replayed the events of the last four years. He wasn’t a stranger to reminiscing about his days as the Freak who humbled the King, but this time he tried to remember that Steve was a flesh and blood person, a kid, really, like Dustin or Mike or Lucas. A kid with real feelings and problems who, maybe, didn’t deserve to get picked on for entertainment. And wasn’t that the thing. Eddie had never stopped to consider that what he was doing might have been just as bad, or even worse, than what had been done to him. Maybe Harrington had deserved it? By his junior year he certainly seemed like a real asshole. But also, Eddie never really remembered seeing Steve initiate any of the prickish behaviors his sports ball friends liked to engage in. Now that he thought about it, he remembered a few times where Steve hung back and helped pick up dropped books and papers or check that a kid was okay after having been tripped in the hall. Eddie groaned. This wasn’t the first time he’d messed up in his life, but it felt like the most important.

Eddie didn’t get out of bed for three days. His uncle tried to coax him out with favorite meals and rented movies, but Eddie couldn’t face him. Uncle Wayne still thought Eddie was a good person and that was decidedly untrue. On day three he decided that he needed a new plan. He wasn’t even sure of the ultimate goal but he knew that step one would be making sure that Steve was okay.

“Robin,” Steve hissed. “He’s out there again.” Steve was staring out the front window of Family Video trying to look like he wasn’t staring out the window at the man casually leaning on a telephone pole across the street. He knew it sounded crazy, but he was pretty sure that Eddie Munson was stalking him. It was nothing he could prove because it was always in public but increasingly when he was out and about he would feel eyes on him and when he turned to look, Eddie would be there. Yeah, alright, he was always doing something totally normal like buying groceries or having a smoke. And sure, Eddie never approached him or glared at him the way he did when they were in school which, honestly felt weird. And even weirder, a couple of times when Eddie noticed Steve noticing Eddie, he had smiled abashedly and fluttered his fingers in a little wave. If Steve had to define it, he would have to say that Eddie was 'reverse bullying' him. Was that even a thing? Maybe he was just fattening him up with his pretty smiles and doe eyes like a lamb being fed before he was slaughtered. It was disconcerting to say the least.

Robin gave Steve a sympathetic shrug. She had been appropriately outraged when he had given her the details of his run-ins with Eddie but it was still hard for her to see him as anything other than the loud funny guy from band. “Just ignore him. He lives in this town just like us so you’re bound to see him now and again. And, so far at least, he’s been good to the kids. Maybe try to let it go? And speaking of band, did I tell you what Vickie did yesterday?....” Steve turned away from the window to concentrate on Robin’s latest installment of the life of her crush. Let it go. Okay. He could try.

Eddie watched as Steve turned away. He had learned a lot from watching him these past months. Steve was kind to cashiers, patient when he was rung up incorrectly, and flirty in a dorky kind of way that never paid off. He was always carting Eddie’s Hellfire kids places like the arcade or the diner or the mall two towns over and it seemed like he did it out of the goodness of his heart. He was a hard worker, staying late at work to clean thoroughly and lock up. He was a good friend to Buckley, dancing with her and running around when the store was empty. Eddie could see why Dustin thought they were more than just friends. From the outside, Steve seemed to be just fine, but Eddie watched and he saw more. When he thought no one was paying attention, Steve looked sad. He flinched at loud noises. And at night he went home to an empty house where, Eddie knew, he had to be lonely. Eddie wasn’t so naive as to think all Steve’s problems stemmed from a stupid kid in high school who wouldn't leave him alone, but Eddie felt responsible for adding to his pain. He felt lost, except for one thing. Every so often he would catch a glimpse of Steve with Robin or Dustin and his face would light up with the most painfully beautiful smile. It was like looking into the face of the sun after a long rain and Eddie couldn’t catch his breath gazing at him. “I see you Steve Harrington and I will do whatever it takes to keep you smiling. I goddamn swear it."

———————-

More to come. Tell me what you think!!

Taglist: @goodolefashionedloverboi @background-noise-headache @phirex22 @swimmingbirdrunningrock @lilpomelito @thaliaisalesbian @liesatemyocean @seilahtitania32 @nightmareglitter @writtenbyancientskeletonhats @dammitjim02 @newagemyth @slaalgumacoisayay @batxsignalsx @beawritingbooks @vacantwatchers @hallucinatedjosten @i-less-than-threee-you @bookworm0690 @dino-nuggets-posts @a-gae-af-racoon @my-chemical-sexuality-crisis @whalesharksart @uses-of-anger @epiclazershark @anaibis @kakashimeansplan @that-agender-from-pluto @novelnovella @jackiemonroe5512 @emly03 @shoujo-goddess @zaphodkilledthespeedforce @what-is-life-but-an-empty-void @riverofrainbows @pottenloved247 @strangersteddierthings @a-little-unsteddie

#steddie #eddie munson #steve harrington #the party #ongoing #angst #no happy ending yet #but it's coming...i think

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captainjonnitkessler · 5 months

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Sometimes I wish we would start calling out the performative radicalism on this site for the poser bullshit it is. "Remember, it's always morally correct to kill a cop!" "Don't forget to firebomb your local government office!" "Wow, it sure would be a shame if these instructions on how to make a molotov cocktail got spread around!"

Okay. But you're not killing cops or firebombing government offices. You are posting on a dying microblogging website to a carefully-curated echo chamber that has radicalized itself into thinking that taking the absolute most extreme position on any subject is praxis but that anyone discussing the most practical way to effect actual change is your sworn enemy. You do not have the street cred OR the activist cred to be talking about killing cops, babe.

#thinking about the person i saw saying that if you're at a protest #and other protesters try to stop you from becoming violent you should just kill them bc 'peace police are still police'#even taken as hyperbole that's simply dumb as shit on every conceivable level #it's also pretty blatantly hypocritical coming from people who are usually self-avowed prison/death penalty abolitionists #like i'm sorry but you don't get to be a death penalty abolitionist and also call for the death of your political enemies online #this isn't a major issue or anything i'm just bored and annoyed

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shitty-check-please-aus · 10 months

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What we need to do is convince all the disney adults in america that high speed rail would be a preferable way of getting to disneyworld compared to driving or flying. We could maybe harness their fondness for the monorail or something, but this is a group of people that has time, income, and passion that we could leverage. If we could direct 5% of the enthusiasm they have for limited edition popcorn buckets into calling their representatives and demanding high-speed interstate rail, we could get it by 2030

#at this point I don't care whether rail is privately or publicly funded #I'll ride the Mickey Mouse Express if it means not having to drive or fly everywhere #if you're on the disneyland side of the country I just don't have as strong a grasp on your psychology as a demographic #but I went to school with some twice a year disneyworld people #if you are a disney adult and you're reading this please don't take it as an insult #I don't think it comes off that way but you never know

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wizardnuke · 4 months

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"i hate microlabels" yeah i also kind of dislike the idea of putting ourselves and our identities into very specific boxes, i think it can be really isolating- ohh wait you mean you think they're invalid. ohh no that's not the way to look at it. killing you

#IF there is an issue w micolabels/identities it's with the isolation that comes w that level of individualism but also like. there's #nuance there and if you think someones identity is invalid bc you don't understand or agree with it im killing you #there are many things i don't understand but agree with the concept of! being cishet for example

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cemeterything · 2 months

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every so often i just think about how good it was that the most foolproof one-size-fits-all solution for dealing with basically any horrifyingly evil supernatural monster of the week in the magnus archives was just. burying them in concrete. like yeah i can believe that a few tons of grey brutalist slop would stop the wolfman or pretty much anything in its tracks to be honest. they use that shit on nuclear waste. do you honestly think you're stronger than a nuke? a fucking nuke?

#🐉#they should have tried it on elias. not because i think it would have worked im sure hed have seen it coming #but just to see his reaction.#tma

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daisywords · 6 months

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One of my biggest nitpicks in fiction concerns the feeding of babies. Mothers dying during/shortly after childbirth or the baby being separated form the mother shortly after birth is pretty common in fiction. It is/was also common enough in real life, which is why I think a lot of writers/readers don't think too hard about this. however. Historically, the only reason the vast majority of babies survived being separated from their mother was because there was at least one other woman around to breastfeed them. Before modern formula, yes, people did use other substitutes, but they were rarely, if ever, nutritionally sufficient.

Newborns can't eat adult food. They can't really survive on animal milk. If your story takes place in a world before/without formula, a baby separated from its mother is going to either be nursed by someone else, or starve.

It doesn't have to be a huge plot point, but idk at least don't explicitly describe the situation as excluding the possibility of a wetnurse. "The father or the great grandmother or the neighbor man or the older sibling took and raised the baby completely alone in a cave for a year." Nope. That baby is dead I'm sorry. "The baby was kidnapped shortly after birth by a wizard and hidden away in a secret tower" um quick question was the wizard lactating? "The mother refused to see or touch her child after birth so the baby was left to the care of the ailing grandfather" the grandfather who made the necessary arrangements with women in the neighborhood, right? right? OR THAT GREAT OFFENDER "A newborn baby was left on the doorstep and they brought it in and took care of it no issues" What Are You Going to Feed That Baby. Hello?

Like. It's not impossible, but arrangements are going to have to be made. There are some logistics.

#idk what to tag this #worldbuilding #writing fiction #historical fiction #fantasy #a real-life example: my dad (a pediatrician) was once entrusted with the care of a baby who was born with a rare condition #this was in a place without great hospital/medical access and anyway they were going to fly the baby over #and he specifically asked them to bring the mother and baby #they show up with baby and...the baby's uncle #and he was like. y'all. do you think I asked for the mom to come just for fun??? We don't have formula here. what is the baby going to eat?

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protoctist · 3 months

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i know ryoko kui is a real one because she wrote 97+ chapters of a manga about fantasy ecosystems and food chains and not once did she write the phrase "survival of the fittest" (it's a bad phrase) (it's a social darwinist phrase even) (hated amongst biologists) (doesn't make sense) (darwin didn't use it) (coined by an business major) (one of the worst phrases in pop science) (no good)

#i think the closest she comes to this is when kabru says something about the weak being eaten but he also thinks all monsters should die #so i don't think he's like the voice of reason when it comes to ecosystems and evo bio NOT a kabru diss just saying #i think eat or be eaten is fine. it's like migrate adapt or die. i think it's fine and not the same as survival of the fittest #dungeon meshi #ETA: i was wrong darwin did use the phrase after it was coined. doesn't matter phrase still sux

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talaricula · 5 months

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Things I've seen tumblr memeing about James Somerton doing à la "How did no one see how bigoted he was!" as if those things haven't been a significant part of tumblr culture for over a decade :

Presenting untrue and bordering on conspiratorial versions of (queer or otherwise marginalised) history without any sources

Completely disregarding and disrespecting any expertise on socio-cultural topics/humanities and distrusting academics and historians (incl. acting as if no academics or historians could be queer or marginalised)

Downplaying the role misogyny played in the historical oppression of queer women and concluding that queer men must have been more oppressed than queer women

Bi women are, at best, not as queer as "real" queer ppl, and at worst, simply equivalent to straight women

Despite nominal trans inclusivity, transmasculine ppl are functionally women when convenient (combined with the above, bi transmascs are functionally straight women)

Despite nominal trans inclusivity (bis), shamelessly attacking, threatening and actively endangering any trans woman who questions them or smth they find important (often by unfairly presenting her as violent or as a threat)

Having absolutely fucking wild and reductive takes about ace ppl, the oppression they face and their place in the queer community

Stating that marriage equality is an assimilationist fight while completely ignoring its direct roots in the horrifying consequences of the AIDS crisis for partners of ppl who died of AIDS

Praising western media creators from the past for queer coding even under censure and in the same breath condemning current non western media creators for being homophobic bc their representation isn't explicit enough

Blaming China for all existing homophobic censoring in western media

Assuming all queer media would be better told by western creators and by western standards

Only out queer ppl get to tell queer stories

Heavily criticising almost all queer media created by women or ppl they see as such (see above points about trans ppl) or involving/starring a significant amount of women for any perceived or real amount of "problematicness", but fawning over and praising and negating criticism of queer media created by and starring mostly or even functionally exclusively men (even when it could be argued that, you know, not involving/seriously sidelining women is a pretty clear example of misogyny which should probably be considered "problematic")

And I'm probably forgetting stuff or there's stuff I have internalised myself and don't recognise as an issue

Like idk but I feel like the takeaway from Hbomberguy and Toddintheshadow's videos should maybe be "be aware of such patterns in your communities bc they definitely exist" and not "this guy is uniquely awful" and I feel like a lot of the discussion I've seen surrounding this has been severely failing at that. Most ppl who've spent any significant amount of time on tumblr prob either have internalised at least one of those thought patterns, have had to de-internalise them, or have had to be extremely vigilant to not internalise them (which is done by, you know, seeking out other sources, which also seemed like an important takeaway from the videos)

#Also I'm saying this as someone who actually watched quite a few of Somerton's videos #And noticed those patterns and stopped watching bc I recognised them from here #and had already learned to unlearn them after being so exposed to them here #And tbh I think anyone who hasn't had the luck or made the conscious choice to seek out ppl who pushed against those narratives #Would absolutely have fallen for this man's bullshit. Like let's not kid ourselves we see takes like this every day on this hellsite #2014 me would have. For sure.#This is next to the plagiarism issue which as Harris points out is an Internet wide issue and this includes tumblr #James Somerton #hbomberguy #todd in the shadows #This brought to you by a conversation with my wife yesterday #So many ppl on here don't deserve to meme or be this self absolvingly critical of this man #The call is coming from inside the house #The man has a tumblr it would legit not surprise me if some of the things he supposedly made up himself he did actually get from somewhere #And that somewhere was a tumblr post

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