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misfitwashere · 2 years

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Excerpts of a letter Rudolf Nureyev wrote, to the dance community about his own life as a dancer, while dying of AIDS:

“It was the smell of my skin changing, it was getting ready before class, it was running away from school and after working in the fields with my dad because we were ten brothers, walking those two kilometers to dance school.

I would never have been a dancer, I couldn't afford this dream, but I was there, with my shoes worn on my feet, with my body opening to music, with the breath making me above the clouds. It was the sense I gave to my being, it was standing there and making my muscles words and poetry, it was the wind in my arms, it was the other guys like me that were there and maybe wouldn't be dancers, but we swapped the sweat, silences, barely.

For thirteen years I studied and worked, no auditions, nothing, because I needed my arms to work in the fields. But I didn't care: I learned to dance and dance because it was impossible for me not to do it, it was impossible for me to think I was elsewhere, not to feel the earth transforming under my feet plants, impossible not to get lost in music, impossible not not to get lost in music using my eyes to look in the mirror, to try new steps.

Everyday I woke up thinking about the moment I would put my feet inside my slippers and do everything by tasting that moment. And when I was there, with the smell of camphor, wood, tights, I was an eagle on the rooftop of the world, I was the poet among poets, I was everywhere and I was everything.

I remember a ballerina Elèna Vadislowa, rich family, well taken care of, beautiful. She wanted to dance as much as I did, but later I realized it wasn't like that. She danced for all the auditions, for the end of the course show, for the teachers watching her, to pay tribute to her beauty.

Two years prepared for the Djenko contest. The expectations were all about her. Two years she sacrificed part of his life. She didn't win the contest. She stopped dancing, forever. She didn't resist. That was the difference between me and her.

I used to dance because it was my creed, my need, my words that I didn't speak, my struggle, my poverty, my crying. I used to dance because only there my being broke the limits of my social condition, my shyness, my shame. I used to dance and I was with the universe on my hands, and while I was at school, I was studying, arraising the fields at six am, my mind endured because it was drunk with my body capturing the air.

I was poor, and they paraded in front of me guys performing for pageants, they had new clothes, they made trips. I didn't suffer from it, my suffering would have been stopping me from entering the hall and feeling my sweat coming out of the pores of my face. My suffering would have been not being there, not being there, surrounded by that poetry that only the sublimation of art can give. I was a painter, poet, sculptor.

The first dancer of the year-end show got hurt. I was the only one who knew every move because I sucked, quietly every step. They made me wear his new, shiny clothes and dictated me after thirteen years, the responsibility to demonstrate. Nothing was different in those moments I danced on stage, I was like in the hall with my clothes off. I was and I used to perform, but it was dancing that I cared.

The applause reached me far away. Behind the scenes, all I wanted was to take off the uncomfortable tights, but everyone's compliments and I had to wait. My sleep wasn't different from other nights. I had danced and whoever was watching me was just a cloud far away on the horizon.

From that moment my life changed, but not my passion and need to dance. I kept helping my dad in the fields even though my name was on everyone's mouth. I became one of the brightest stars in dance.

Now I know I'm going to die, because this disease doesn't forgive, and my body is trapped in a pram, blood doesn't circulate, I lose weight. But the only thing that goes with me is my dance my freedom to be.

I'm here, but I dance with my mind, fly beyond my words and my pain. I dance my being with the wealth I know I have and will follow me everywhere: that I have given myself the chance to exist above effort and have learned that if you experience tiredness and effort dancing, what if you dance sits for effort, if we pity our bleeding feet, if we chase only the aim and don't understand the full and unique pleasure of moving, we don't understand the deep essence of life, where the meaning is in its becoming and not in appearing.

Every man should dance, for life. Not being a dancer, but dancing.

Who will never know the pleasure of walking into a hall with wooden bars and mirrors, who stops because they don't get results, who always needs stimulus to love or live, hasn't entered the depths of life, and will abandon every time life won't give him what he wants.

It's the law of love: you love because you feel the need to do it, not to get something or to be reciprocated, otherwise you're destined for unhappiness.

I'm dying, and I thank God for giving me a body to dance so that I wouldn't waste a moment of the wonderful gift of life.”

#I can't dance.

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amazinggrace00 · 2 years

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another name goes up in lights, you wonder if you’ll make it out alive

Chapter 5: when we get alone I'll make myself at home and he'll want me to stay

Part of @julieandthephantomsbb

Rating: T

Relationships: Julie Molina/Luke Patterson, Background Willex, Background Kayla/Reggie

Tags: Past Julie/Nick, Alternate Universe, no ghosts, Well kinda but they aren't real, Everyone Is Alive, TV Show, Hollywood, Cussing, Hollywood sucks, All the guys parents suck, Bobby is okay, hollywood is sexist, Sexism, Song references galore, JATP Big Bang 2022, Carrie isn't a good person, Nick isn't a good person

Chapter 5 Posted: 8/11/2022

Summary:

Phantoms, the new Network TV show, recently got picked up for its second season and filming is already underway. The show follows a special government unit tasked with dealing with the supernatural. The series will return Marci Harrison who portrays the lead detective in charge of a group of junior detectives (Reggie Peters, Alex Mercer, Kayla Caro), forensic scientists (Luke Patterson and Julie Molina), and a rookie detective (Flynn Rider).

Julie Molina is enjoying her time on Phantoms, the supernatural detective show. It had been her saving grace after being blacklisted from basically everywhere following her media feud with former Disney Channel costar Carrie Wilson that tanked her music career before it even started.

But with rumors that the show isn’t going to get a third season, Julie is worried about her career completely ending with no jobs or recording contracts in sight.

Add in the fact that even if they get a third season, Julie’s costar might leave the show and go off to pursue his music career.

And Julie is trying to understand why said costar potentially leaving is making her so upset.

Chapter 5 Summary: A song, a dance, a flashback, a scene, and a convention :)

Collection: JATP Big Band 2022

Read on AO3

Keep Reading for an excerpt

Break was pretty uneventful for the Phantoms Cast. The guys once again went to Julie’s for the holidays and the whole cast and crew had a New Year’s party at Caleb’s club that he owned, making for some very great drunk Instagram Stories.

The new year did call for some new changes, starting with Julie getting some solos for the show.

Her plan to mobilize the fans worked, getting two new solos, Jasmine Thompson’s Ain’t Nobody and I’ll Follow by Fancy Cars. They weren’t the most powerful ballads ever, and they were nowhere near rock, but they weren’t having her do a super-soft voice so that was a win. It was a step in the right direction and she was going to take it and run.

A couple of people, including Luke, made comments about how happy they were to see her get these songs, slightly hinting that they had noticed and were glad that it was finally happening, but not outright saying it, which Julie appreciated. It was something that definitely bothered her, but not something she wanted to make a big deal about. She wanted to keep her head down most of the time when it came to the business side of show business. It was a scary place.

“Yeah okay, I’ll let you know,” Luke said into the receiver. “Talk to you later, bye.” Once he hung up the phone, he threw it gently onto the floor next to the couch and wrapped his arm around Julie’s torso.

“Who was that?” She asked, wiggling a little bit to get comfortable. They were about to take a nap in between scenes before Luke’s phone went off.

“It was my agent,” Luke told her. “She sent me on some auditions and I got one of them.”

“That’s great!” Julie turned her head slightly to look at him. “What for?”

“I can’t disclose it,” Luke replied, although Julie knew if she pushed him on it he would tell her. He wasn’t good at keeping secrets. “But it's for some action movie but I don’t want to do it. I’ll probably say no.”

“Why’s that?” She turned her head away from him. It was straining her neck a little and she also didn’t want him to see her face.

“I’m just kind of over doing movies. Honestly acting in general.” Luke felt Julie tense up quickly. “Not Phantoms, I love working with you and everyone. It’s fun. It’s kind of why I went on these auditions because I thought that maybe they would be fun as well but I just don’t think I can do it anymore. I want to pursue music and if I’m tied up in movies then I won’t be able to.”

They didn’t really talk after that, Luke falling asleep quickly. Julie stayed awake longer, deep in thought. She wasn’t jealous of Luke per se, but it did make her a little frustrated. She was happy that Luke was getting all of these opportunities and he definitely deserved them. It was just that she had been on the phone with her agent this morning to learn that she hadn’t gotten the last three parts she auditioned for. Which wouldn’t have been bad if it wasn’t the twentieth in the last three months.

Most actors failed the majority of the auditions that they went for, she knew this. But she was on an airing network tv show, had a fan base, and did have a pretty extensive background.

It wouldn’t have been too terrible if the reasoning more than half of the time was that they liked her and thought she was great for the part, but they just didn’t feel like she would represent the project well.

Which really meant that they didn’t want the drama that followed her.

It took her pretty long to fall asleep.

Don’t tell Luke.

#julie and the phantoms #luke patterson #juke #julie molina #jatp #juke fic #jatp juke #alex mercer #reggie peters #carrie wilson #nick jatp #bobby wilson #willie jatp #jatp big bang 2022 #flynn jatp

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valentinmings · 2 years

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one of my favorite excerpts from a slightly fictionalized memoir i'm writing

content warnings: negative self-talk, mention of m*rder victims in TV shows

for @creativesolstice

I get so emotional sometimes. For about three years, once every few months, I would get a chocolate cheesecake from the Cheesecake Factory and put on Titanic, the one with Kate Winslet, and I would eat and cry and cry and eat and eat and cry until my eyes got puffy. I thought they were puffy. I didn’t know what it meant to have puffy, after-crying eyes until I got dumped and cried for nearly eight straight hours. It hurt to even open my eyes after that.

Now, little things make me cry. I was watching a dance competition while at work and these high-school dance teams were doing such a good job, I couldn’t help but cry. I love Criminal Minds, but those opening scenes- the ones that simply introduce the case- began making me sob.

These poor people! I would think. They have no idea what’s coming for them! What’s worse, however, is I would immediately berate myself for crying. Of course, these people know what’s happening, this is a television show! These people literally auditioned to be k*lled in the opening scene! Naturally, criticizing myself for being upset only made me more upset. Made me cry more. Obviously, I know it’s a show! I know it’s scripted! So why do I get so swept up and invested in it all? Why is it so hard to pull myself completely back into reality?

I know how that sounds, but believe me, I don’t confuse reality with fiction. I just get really, deeply involved with stories and universes that aren’t mine. I recently binged this show that consistently talks about magic. I love magic and the notion that there’s something more to this world than what meets the eye. Fairies, witches, wizards, ghosts. It’s all so exciting. I’m captivated by these false narratives, these romanticized versions of life. Yes, there’s pain. Yes, people suffer. Yes, it’s imperfect. But the inclusion of something otherworldly, something mythical or mystical, makes it all seem worth it.

If I could, I’d spend all my days searching for that something. I would go everywhere, try everything, do whatever I could to see sparks fly out of my fingertips. To feel a god or goddess speak to me, to feel God speak to me. Where is God? Why is it so lonely in the real world? What is God? The person, the thing that created… everything! All these stars, all these planets, all this universe! Are we really supposed to believe this is all there is? There must be magic somewhere. Small magics are everywhere, everyone has magic in them. For example, I can always pop a perfect bag of popcorn. It’s my own personal magic. Which is fantastic, it’s beautiful in its own way. Yet, I crave something more. Something bigger. I crave magic that can be noticed by other people. I crave fiction.

Where did this craving for magic start? Did I watch too much Disney as a child? Read too many stories about fairies and witches? Or did I watch and read those things because I craved magic deep inside me? A classic “which came first?” conundrum. The craving or the content?

#creative solstice #my writing #memoir #magical #creativesoltice

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neocatharsis · 3 years

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The Brilliant Members of World Renowned NCT 127 Share Their Thoughts Fashion, Music, Lifestyle, Favorite Things… What Their Individual Styles Are　#007 JUNGWOO

Read more https://mensnonno.jp/post/53212

Some Excerpts

What’s the relationship between JUNGWOO’s “appeal” and “confidence”?

MN: To the question, “How would you particularly like to appeal to the readers of this series”, you wrote,“I have yet to show all of what is fascinating about me as a person. There are many appealing sides to me”. Of all those appealing aspects, what are you most proud of?

J: I’m sure many know this by now, but “being sort of cute and lovable” is my strong suit. Because I believe that the fans deeply love that adorable charm I have, I honestly think that “my cuteness” is my strong suit!

MN: How lovely that you feel ‘the part my fans love = my strong suit’. For the question, “What is important to you in expressing yourself and conveying your style as a global artist?”, you wrote,“By far, the most important thing to have is confidence. That is because I believe that with confidence you can achieve anything”. Is it because you value self-confidence that you are able to find yourself to be fascinating?

J: But to be honest, for a while after our debut, I didn’t really have much confidence in myself. So, I was constantly thinking about and wondering “how I could gain confidence” and was always trying to be confident.

MN: For “your favorite motto”, you also wrote,“Be confident and do my best”.

J: Yes. I have also been training to strengthen my mind for a very long time. Even if I may sometimes tend to lose confidence, I tell myself not to, and I have continued to try to overcome these things. At first, I often felt nervous and unsure, but by keeping that in mind, over time, I think I became confident in a natural way.

MN: Even though you say “natural way”, there probably was a tremendous amount of effort that went into it… You told us that you worked very hard to become confident, and now, through that process, from the viewpoint of the performer JUNGWOO of NCT 127, could you kindly share with us what you are able to feel confident about?

J: Personally, I have the most confidence in my performance for the song “Hero; Kick It”. We practiced hard for it, especially since it has been a while since we have been able to present something to our fans. So, how do I say this, it was like ‘sharpening our act’.

MN: Woooooooooooh.

J: It was a deeply awakening feeling preparing for this stage. So, for me, it became a very memorable piece of work.

MN: Was there something that was particularly challenging?

J: I would have to say managing our facial expressions on stage. We were very particular about how we wanted to present our expressions, so we challenged ourselves with many options. I thought about what I was lacking, and I challenged myself to be bolder and more confident. Those were the goals I placed on myself. I’ve always wanted to show my fans how wonderful I can be, but in this case, I wanted to go deeper, beginning with my facial expressions, so I prepared much more differently and with creativity.

MN: You are the seventh person to be featured in this series, JUNGWOO-san, but all the members up to now have pushed with confidence “Hero; Kick It” as their most recommended NCT 127 song. Perhaps we can say that it was that challenging for all of you, and that what you felt, as well as your self-assessments, was in line with one another. As each member responded with the same song one after another, you could feel a strong sense of accomplishment that is shared within the group.

J: I agree with that. The song “Hero” is a powerful song, and so a lot of practice and preparation went into it. I think that it is very NCT 127 and expresses our personality more than ever. On top of that, we were confident that the fans would love the song. Our fans tend to love our individuality and our unique “color”, so we thought this was the perfect song.

NCT 127 is like a chameleon?

MN: You mentioned the word “color”, but to the question, “What do you feel is the “coolness” of NCT 127, you responded,“To impress and share empathy with our fans, and show them our unique “color”. If you were to share something that is truly your “NCT127 color”, what would that be?

J: Regardless of the type of song or genre, we are a team that has the power to absorb whatever it is, like a chameleon! To continue to express genres across the board; I believe that is the best of our team when it comes to “color” and strength!

MN: Right from the opening, you mentioned the metaphor “Yairo-Bird”. You seem to have a very colorful image when it comes to yourself as well as your group and its activities, JUNGWOO-san. Now then, let’s share with the readers that ever-changing chameleon attitude that challenges all types of songs. Could you recommend any MVs other than “Hero; Kick It”?

J: Yes! There’s a song called “Punch” that I would like to recommend first. It was released after “Hero; Kick It” and it was part of a re-package album. It is really a strong and powerful song. In addition, even in the visuals our personality shines through. It is a very well put together piece and I love it. Another one is a song called “Highway to Heaven”. The music video has a wide open feeling and is amazing, and it is a song that suits us very well. So, I would like to recommend these two songs.

MN: It certainly is a song with a completely different feel. You can see how you challenge different tastes.

J: Yes! Exactly! I wish we could ask everyone what they would like to see about NCT 127, too.

MN: You’re sure to have a bunch of different responses.

As a global artist, what have you found meaningful?

MN: When you’re being creative while also constantly challenging yourselves, teamwork is imperative. Could you share with us exactly what NCT 127 means to you, JUNGWOO-san?

J: We members are family as well as a team. We all make up for what each of us lacks and what we need, which unite us as one strong team. We are all there to help each other to be our best. In that way, our individual personalities and virtues work together like a synergistic effect…. creating synergy, and I believe it further enhances NCT 127’s “color” so-to-speak. I hope more people will get to know this about us.

MN: Listening to what you have to say, JUNGWOO-san, our image of the group becomes even more colorful. Speaking of complementing one another, in what way in particular do you feel the members help you out?

J: Oh, that begins with song and dance, all the basic stuff, I know I am being supported and helped by all the members. And not only for our performances, but also, for example, I feel that the parts in which I have no confidence, the other members are right there to jump in and help out. We talk things out and I get advice on what I feel I am lacking. In that way, I am able to discover what I need to improve on from a different angle than I would have on my own. Thus, they give me a lot of insight and make me think. That’s the kind of role they play for me.

MN: For the question, “What do you think has had the most impact on you as a global artist?”, you responded,“By being able to share what is appealing about us to all the different fans around the world, I feel that it has given us an opportunity to become even sharper”. Does the presence of your fans help you, JUNGWOO-san, to have confidence when it comes to your “appeal”, as mentioned earlier?

J: This is something I’ve felt as we’ve traveled around the world, but the reaction from the fans differs depending on where we are. Even so, everywhere we go, the fans welcome us with such enthusiasm, making us feel, “wow, we really are loved”, and we’re so moved by their passion as we tour the world. As we go to places for the first time and see all the fans for the first time, it is touching to know that they actually listen to our songs and are able to relate to us in such a way. Their reaction also differs depending on the atmosphere of the songs. It has to be because they diligently listen to each and every one of our songs. They sing together with us, and it means a lot to me when I feel like, “ahhh, so we can interact and relate to each other through the songs in this way”. That has left a powerful impression on me.

What triggered you to start singing and dancing?

MN: And now you perform on the global stage, but what is it that made you wind up loving to sing and dance?

J: The first time I became fascinated by singing and dancing was through a movie. I was in the junior high and it was a movie called “Step Up”. It was very popular at the time and everyone around me was crazy about it. The characters in the movie were portrayed doing all these really cool dance moves. That’s when I thought, “Wow, I would like to dance like that, too.” So, I started taking dance lessons. Through taking lessons, I was naturally exposed to all kinds of music, and that’s how I became fascinated with music.

MN: That’s true, learning to dance also means you come in contact with music.

J:“Exactly. I seek out and listen to a wider variety of music than before I began dance lessons, and regardless of genre, whether it’s HIP HOP, the trending songs in the US, jazz, etc… by listening to a whole range of songs on an even scale, my love for the music itself has grown deeper and deeper, and that’s how I developed a desire to sing and dance.

MN: That makes a lot of sense. So, the flow is that you then became a trainee at your agency?

J: Yes. My desire to continue to sing and dance became stronger, and so I decided to audition. I was lucky enough to join a major company like SM (SM ENTERTAINMENT＝NCT 127’s agency), but thinking back now, “My dream really has come true,” which is an enchanting feeling. I have the confidence to say that I will continue loving to sing and dance even more, and that’s the kind of person I want to become.

What fascinating person, piece of work, words have had an impact on you?

MN: Your desire to do more as a performer comes through. To the question, “What kind of adult do you want to become in the future?”, your answer was,“To become a cool adult. I’m still searching”. You mentioned earlier that you did not have confidence in yourself, but this comment feels like you are now looking forward to the future you. What kind of person is the “cool adult” to you, JUNGWOO-san?

J: To me, an adult that is cool is someone who has integrity, works hard at and continues to work towards a goal, and is able to be a good role model for others. Someone who does their best with what they have been given and are passionate about everything. That’s the type of adult I think is super cool”

MN: Do you have a specific role model of the kind of person you want to be like?

J: Well that role model would have to be our senior artist BoA! Of course she’s a senior artist from the same agency, but more than that, watching her pour her passion into her music and the love she has for singing and dancing, without skipping a beat for 20 years… This is truly inspiring. That is why I plan to continue to cheer her on with as much passion as I can round up, and I also hope to be a senior artist to my junior artists in the same as BoA has been for us. I want to become an adult that will give it his all.

MN: To the question, “What culture has had an impact on you?”, you wrote,“I watched ‘The Devil Wears Prada’ with deep interest. It made me feel that nothing is impossible to achieve.” In the same way as “Step Up”, it seems that movies have had an impact on your mindset and behavior.

J: You can see from the main character of that movie [editorial staff note: An editorial assistant of a fashion magazine], that she is really passionate about everything she works on. No matter what anyone says to her or about her, she’s going to achieve what she believes in and what she intends to do. That really struck me. After I saw that movie, I thought, “So there really is nothing I can’t achieve…”, which left a strong impression on me and that is why I wrote this.

MN: It seems that many things have had an impact on you, such as the people you have met, what you have seen and heard, and the times you have spent. To the question, “What piece of advice you have received from others has left the biggest impression on you?”, you wrote,“The words that have left a lasting impression on me are, ‘You do whatever it is you want to do’.”When do these words come to mind?

J: I believe that whenever there is something that you want to do, it should be done without hesitation. I also believe that you should never do anything you’re going to regret. No matter what it is… For example, I always do the best that I can when I’m up on stage, and for mental preparation, I always think, “I’m doing what I love to do”. To think in that way. I think that’s what motivates me, and these words often come to mind in moments like that. I want to reach out to everyone with that kind of power and I think the people around me have given me that kind of power as well.

#nct #nct 127 #Jungwoo

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shypotato-translations · 3 years

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QTVW Chapter 24

Showbiz* Sexy Queen (XI)

----

After Mei Mu Lan hung up the phone, she opened the webpage and searched for the novel 《Love in a Fallen City》.

As mentioned in the plot, Bai Jieying, a newcomer to the industry, became a sensation after appearing in this controversial film.

And just now Miss S called, informing her to go to Ling's Group tomorrow, the entertainment company's drama team for an audition.

This coincided with her intentions, so she opened the pages of the novel now, and carefully read through, the subject of the novel is lesbianism, 《Love in a Fallen City》.

Love in a Fallen City, a novel set in the early Republic of China; The story takes place in Hangzhou, an ancient water town; The protagonist of the story is the wife of the second son of the local warlord Xiao Sheng Yan.

The wife of the Major, who was a second generation warlord along with her husband, was of noble birth. She is the ninth daughter of Ling Ye Chong, the warlord of the southwest region, and the only legitimate daughter among Ling Ye Chong's 18 daughters. A much higher status than her other sisters.

Although the two Xiao Ling families were married out of interest, the newlyweds were a good match for each other.

And the her husband who is a Major, the second son of Xiao Shi Yan, was a dashing and suave-looking man who fought heroically and was, by all accounts, a wonderful man.

But naturally, such a man has a downside: he is lustful and likes to abuse his partner.

This hobby of Xiao Er Shao's was harmless to the society of the time.

And when he was confronted with the wife of the famous Major, he could not lay hands on her out of love and reason.

Therefore, he left the lady cold and spent many years in the company of playboys and prostitutes, which made her cold to him.

The story opens with the lady sitting on a carved wooden stool, wearing a goose-yellow antique dress and a wooden face as she allows her maid to do her make-up.

Listening to the maid's report of Xiao Er Shao's whereabouts in her ears, like,

“The young master has gone drinking again today,”

“The young master has played with his hands again today,”

“The young master is throwing his money away again today for a 'thing',”……

The lady looked at her reflection in the bronze mirror, the flowery beauty in it, but now her heart was as dry as a half-hundred-year-old woman's.

A young girl, as young as a flower, is tortured by this feudal society and has lost her vitality.

And it was on such early mornings as these for three years that the maid mentioned a woman, a beauty much loved by her own husband, a singing opera singer of unclean origins.

She smiled softly as she listened to the hilarity and said,

“The right way to be a wife is not to be jealous or afraid. I don't blame my husband for being sentimental, he's at that age, he loves to play, so let him go, it's just a thing. If he likes it, he can take it into his house and no one can say a word against it. All right, it's almost time to go and pay my respects to the old lady, let's go.”

The 'thing' that the lady refers to is the other female lead in the story, the lover with whom the lady is entangled for life.

The story shifts perspective to a woman in a large red costume behind a noisy theater stage in the downtown area, now holding a black ink pencil and tracing narrow eyeliner for herself.

The troupe master beside her also muttered to her about this young man who had been so generous recently.

She listened unconcernedly, her hands flowing with makeup, and when she heard the troupe master mention the man's wife, the woman finally felt a little different emotion.

She smiled lightly and said,

“The woman in such a deep house is most uninteresting. From what you are saying, this Major's wife is not a small person. But even if she is the daughter of the Emperor, she is nothing more than a plaything for men to hold in their hands. We are both women, but one is a high-class prostitute and the other a slightly lower class.

I hope this young lady will not be like those ladies before her who could not control their own men and went after men's women, which is really annoying.”

Two women responding very differently to the same incident.

One is as cool as an immortal, the other is as feminine as a demon.

It left a little mark on each other's hearts, so much so that when they first met later, they couldn't help but feel close to each other.

The lady relieves the theater's chastising punishment for the ladies, and the theater's son settles the city's ruffians for the lady; two seemingly worlds apart, and so they cross paths.

One is the wife of a noble and noble family Major, and the other is a lowly opera singer who is trampled on by others. They experience the sweetness of meeting, knowing, companioning, cherishing and loving each other, and the pain of clinging, thinking, remembering and wanting to say goodbye.

Because of the difference in their status, they could only see each other a few times a year, and the rest of the time they were in brocade, but this forbidden love affair brought both of them to life.

The lady refuses to share her bed with Xiao Er Shao for this reason, and is treated coldly by her husband's family, making her life worse every day.

The opera singer refused to share a bed with a wealthy guest for this reason and was tortured by the troupe, in a state of wretchedness worse than death.

Finally, the women decide that they will do something shocking, and that is to elope together and settle down to farm in the opera singer's hometown.

They looked forward to a bright future with each other and each escaped their shackles one winter's day, but the very moment they escaped to embrace each other, both parties sent someone after them.

Xiao Er Shao's face turned blue when he saw the two embracing each other.

How could he let them go when one was his legitimate wife and the other was a opera singer whom he truly loved and now, they were together, making him the laughing stock of everyone?!

He ordered the underlings of the Xiao Family, and took the lady back by force, while the opera singer was beaten alive with sticks by the underlings.

Blood stained the clean white snow, splattered out like cold winter plums, falling and falling, bodies left unmanaged and finally bones.

When the lady learned of this incident, she went mad, but begged for death and was severely tortured by Xiao Er Shao.

She spent every day and night alone in a cold, crumbling house, begging for her life and unable to die.

Until she met the opera singer in red, pale and with crimson lips, a month later on a bloody night, when she winked at her and babbled and sang a soft song under her breath.

Towards the end of the song, her flirtatious phoenix eyes, moist with moisture, stared at her as she said to her,

“Cease to be like this and live.”

The Major's wife began to regain her senses, and because she herself was of noble birth, the people of the Xiao Family couldn't just club her to death like they did with the opera singer, but had to go out of their way to cover up and pretend that the incident had never happened.

The Major's wife, a woman from the deep house of yore, but different again from before, has an additional female ghost in red in her room.

When no one is around, they will snuggle, they will compose songs together, they will be in love.

Doing all the things that lovers everywhere, would do.

Until Xiao suffered defeat, all Xiao's men died in battle, the revolutionary army defeated the warlords and stragglers broke into Xiao's residence.

The ladies live in a trance, rejecting the reality of the Xiao House's decay, while the servants carry their bags and scurry around for their lives.

Once again the Lady sat in front of the mirror, an unseen hand, holding a brush, tracing gently over her pale face.

From top to bottom, the inky eyebrows, the slightly powdered blush and the sweet red lips are a living example of a pretty girl from back in the day.

The lady smiled lightly and changed into a red dress, and the house burned naturally with no one in the second young lady's room in the Xiao residence.

Under the bright flames, a beautiful woman in red can be clearly seen, wrapping her arms around a woman in a long goose yellow dress, slowly swaying and dancing, embracing each other intimately and kissing deeply.

The story ends with excerpts from the novel. Written is:

From a family dinner in spring, one plays out life and death on stage, while the other dresses up as a virtuous wife offstage.

By the cold night of the ninth month, one was intercepted by a domestic servant inside the fence and the other was brutally beaten to death outside the fence.

In the old theater, a woman's watery sleeves danced and her feet moved; a woman's mouth smiled and her feelings were deep. To look at each other is to have no regrets about true love.

Mei Mu Lan's eyes were dazed, emotionally trapped in the story, unable to pull out of it for several days.

She closed the webpage and lay back** with her eyes closed, a story like this, it did hit home, Miss S's writing was excellent, she really wrote this story from an outsider's point of view.

In her writing, each person is portrayed vividly, and a scene of the Republic leaps into the reader's mind.

She doesn't stand up for the state and try to put a sacred veil on this fringe romance; she simply depicts a story that feels like an event that actually happened in the Republic.

In the midst of the Republic, when times were up and down and in turmoil**, everything changed, but only the relationship between the lady and the opera singer remained the same.

They experience great sorrow, great joy, great ups and downs, and every chapter of the story depicts the cold reality.

But, near the end, she recounts the transformation of the opera singer into a ghost, and the novel after this describes the happy life between them.

But, unfortunately, everyone else in the story, and the readers outside of it, all know that the opera singer may be a figment of the Lady's imagination after she has gone mad.

But, it is this plausible description, punctuated by joy against sorrow, that gives the story an unconventional and sublime ending.

The happiness visible in the story, at the end when the two are buried in the fire, the reader's heart unconsciously breathes a sigh of relief for the Lady, thinking: at last it is over, at least the Lady thinks they are living together.

The opera singer at the end paints the lady's make-up and she smiles in the light of the fire, sharing a poignant ending.

A lady in a large courtyard, deprived of the freedom of her body and firmly imprisoned by feudal society; a lowly opera singer in the marketplace, deprived of the freedom of her mind and oppressed by those around her every day.

These are two ordinary women who lived in that particular era, representing two classes.

The women under such oppression fall in love and their lives are rejuvenated, giving rise to the most sincere love, but this emotion meets with social barriers and ends up as a tragedy rather than joy, leaving the reader with a shocking and sorrowful ending.

Mei Mu Lan took a few deep breaths to ease her mind and she began to think calmly.

The novel is about to be turned into a far-reaching film, and in the plot of the novel, it is mentioned that Bai Jieying ends up as the lady in the 《Love in a Fallen City》, while Ling Yi Yao becomes the opera singer in it.

And now, with her ambition for the film, then, after considering her own strengths, she chose to go for the role of the opera singer.

And the next morning, she went to the place where Miss S had agreed.

By the time she arrived on set, the crew had already begun auditions and she was greeted, taken straight to Miss S and then dragged off to have her make-up applied.

This was followed by an ethnic opera which she sang in front of many invested parties.

Her fluent singing voice, vivid expressions and agile figure overwhelmed everyone in the audience in a flash. And she was successfully selected to be an acting actress within the cast of the play.

Mui Mu Lan had been made to look like a fool today by Miss S. By the time she got back to her senses, she heard the news that she had been selected and she grinned broadly with excitement.

After verbally thanking Miss S, she immediately returned to Jiangnan Town, where she knocked on the door and walked into Ling Yi Yao's villa to tell Ling Yi Yao the good news that she had been chosen as an opera singer.

After hearing this, Ling Yi Yao had a strange expression on her face, and under Mei Mu Lan's persistent questioning, she replied,

“Congratulations, Miss Mei, at the same time. Your co-star in this film, unfortunately, is me.”

Mei Mu Lan understood the meaning of her words and immediately jumped up and said,

“Great, you're playing the role of the Major's wife, aren't you? The casting people had a good eye, they could tell right away that we were a couple.”

Ling Yi Yao: “……”

Suddenly, Mei Mu Lan covered her mouth in shyness as she stared at Ling Yi Yao, her eyes cooing and darting about.

Ling Yi Yao suddenly felt a chill run down her spine, and she had an ominous feeling.

Sure enough, Mei Mu Lan said 'shyly' in the next moment,

“Oh, it's written that they did this and that, and the opera singer did this and that to the lady, so I can do that to you too, come on, don't be shy, let's rehearse this and that so we don't get rusty when we're acting.”

Ling Yi Yao: “……” Lifting Mei Mu Lan's collar with one hand, she threw her out the door.

#shypotato #yuri #transmigration #world hopping #QTVW24

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salmankhanholics · 3 years

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★ Dragged from school into a Salman Khan film: Darshan Kumaar revisits Tere Naam!

August 4 2021

What was your first acting project? How did the project come to you?

My first film was Tere Naam. I was doing theatre in Delhi with NK Sharma’s Act One group. Many of my friends were going for an audition. They asked me to come along. I was just 13 or 14 and in grade 9th or 10th, so I refused but they dragged me. I gave the audition and, quite unbelievably, I got selected. It was for Satish Kaushik’s Tere Naam where I had to play a college boy named Kanak Sharma, one of the three friends of Salman Khan’s character. Since I grew up watching Salman’s films, it all seemed like a dream to me, as if a kid has entered some fantasy film. Imagine, you’ve always loved an actor, and suddenly you’re facing the camera with him.

Darshan Kumaar alongside Salman Khan in a still from Tere Naam.

What do you remember of your first day on set?

Though most of the shoot happened in Agra and Delhi, but my first scene took place in Hyderabad. It was a college scene where Salman comes and saves me from some goons who are hitting me.

Were you nervous? How many retakes did you take?

I used to perform on stage since childhood. I even did Act One group’s plays as a lead from the very beginning. So I was quite confident. In fact I was so excited, that I had to calm myself down. I didn’t know how to face the camera but I didn’t care, I thought I’ll just stay in my character and do what I have to do.

I remember, I got stuck in just one scene, where I go to watch a movie with my girlfriend and bump into this man. I kept banging him like a kid who does it deliberately. Satish sir screamed what I was doing and I started shivering, thinking that now he’ll remove me from the film. I took 3-4 takes for that, but finally managed it. After that it was smooth.

I absolutely enjoyed working with Salman bhai. I was working with the best director. A guy who’s never been to any other city was traveling and shooting everywhere. What else do you want from life? I was living my dream.

How was the rapport with your co-stars when you got to meet or work with them again later?

I thought after the film, Salman bhai won’t recognise me, as I was very young then. Later, I got nominated at IIFA for NH10. We were in Spain. I was wearing a suit and sitting behind Salman. He saw me and said, “Haan acha oho…” I wondered if he recognised me. Later, he threw a party in his room where I finally met him properly. We spoke about my struggle and he appreciated my hard work.

I met Satish sir few years back. We were supposed to do a film together. He texted me to congratulate for The Family Man recently. He said he binge-watched a show for the first time. I hope he calls me whenever he thinks he has a character for me. He loves me as an actor.

-Excerpt from interview

#salman khan #tere nasm #darshan kumar #dk

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rockcfellers · 4 years

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Excerpts from A. Rockefeller’s Diary / about: Olive Black

March 12th, 2013

Dear Diary,

Today started out like every other day. I had a test, which I think I did well on, I sat with my bffs at lunch, auditioned for theater because I had to, and Olive and I snuck behind the bleachers during P.E. like we always do. It started out fine, but right before we had to go back inside I kissed Olive. Actually, I think she kind of kissed me? But we both leaned in. It was really nice, I’ve heard other people say that their first kisses were total failures but kissing her didn’t feel like one. I feel weird because I think I had the stereotypical butterflies that everyone says they always feel. I think I might try to talk to her tomorrow about liking her, since she hasn’t texted me back today. I can’t write a lot today because I have homework to do, so this is it.

— A

March 13th, 2013

D.D.,

She told me she wants to forget me. I don’t know what I did wrong, but I think I lost my best friend today. I shouldn’t have done it.

— A

November 4th, 2015

Hi Journal,

A few key points from my day today, you-know-who had lunch with Neels, Gi, and I today. I made him laugh, so I’m counting that as a win, I pretty much aced all my tests, I’m officially starting now in lax, and it feels like everywhere I go I still see Olive. We have a class together this year and I try to sit as far away from her as I can, but I either end up staring at her or feel like she’s looking at me. I can’t shake the feeling I get when I see her, the one that makes me want to cry and punch a wall all at the same time. I think I’m mostly still angry with myself, for being stupid enough to ruin my friendship with her, but I think I’m hurt too. I don’t think what I did was bad enough to warrant wanting to be forgotten. I don’t understand it but it’s not like I can just go up to her and ask what’s wrong. I don’t know. It’s whatever I guess.

— Arden

August 16th, 2017

Hey,

So I learned a fun bit of information today. Which is that Christian is friends with Olive. Which is fine I guess. I don’t want to tell him who he can and can’t be friends with, we’re not even officially dating yet. All this means is I might end up seeing her more, which might be a good thing. Maybe it’ll be enough for us to have an actual conversation. I think the last time we talked was Nick’s grad party when both of us were drunk. I have to thank the alcohol for a little bit of normalcy right? I miss her. I miss just being friends. I miss before I had messed everything up. If you can, give me a sign that I should talk to her... or something.

— Arden

March 30th, 2020

So!

We spoke?? You know like we actually spoke. It was... good. We’re back to normal. If I’m being honest I think we just covered everything up. It was an agreement to put everything behind us, to get over it and finally move on. I’ll take it, I’ll take anything I can get from her. Even if that means feelings this annoying ache every time I see her, it’s a desire to feel close, to love her. But I’ve been given a chance and I really don’t want to mess this up. So.. I won’t. I can’t. I can do this.

— Arden

#only posting for an hour challenge???#on ur marks #get set #GO

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supersoldierfreak · 6 years

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Undercover: Part 1 ~ Avengers Cast x Reader

Masterlist

The file was flicked through by your hands. "You've got to be kidding me, sir."

"I am afraid not." The older man sighed. "The man is a terrorist and this needs to be done. Moreover, you are the only one suitable for the job."

Frugally, you glance up at him. "You want me to pose as a budding actress in one of the most renowned casts in modern cinema, discover the one of the world's most wanted terrorists all whilst acting as a bubbly, happy, innocent, young woman. And you want me to use my real name?"

"Unfortunately, Agent, these orders have come from the superior of my boss, so there is little or more probably no chance of you getting a say in this. Beynin is one of the most dangerous people in the world and the board want him gone."

You swirled from your seat and took a position staring out into the night time skyline of London. "And you're thinking this is the best way, Agent Ford?"

Your handler stood from his desk and stood by the window next to yours. "I think it has the potential to be."

Your narrowed eyes swept across his face, illuminated by the warm lighting of the office.

The file was perched tauntingly on the dark wooden desk, secrets complied within. It was harrowing, thinking that you probably knew more about the cast of the Marvel franchise than they did themselves - people who had known each other for years and yet you'd never met them. Tilting your head back, you rested it against the window frame. The plan seemed good, admittedly with its difficulties, you couldn't deny that it did have a good chance of succeeding if you got in. Your eyelids fell as you thought everything over in your mind.

"For whatever it may be worth to you, your mother would be proud. She was always one to see things though."

You hissed before becoming resigned. "When's my flight?"

"You're flying into New York in a few hours."

Rolling your eyes, you grabbed the file and left for your apartment.

A side benefit to being an MI6 operative, you knew, was being able to skip airport security with the flash of a badge. The snakes of tourists and home-comers alike slouched, frustrated as they tried to consulate their kids and shush their crying toddlers. Perhaps you were slightly too smug as you grabbed your main luggage and started out of the exit and hopped in a cab to your hotel. Throwing more than necessary at the driver, you jumped out without a word and signed in at the front desk for your keys. Upon reaching your room, you couldn't help but smile because it was clear that Agent Ford had been involved as before you was a grand modern suite: something you didn't get on missions.

You dumped your bags and kicked off your shoes before taking a running flop onto the bed. It was a comfy bed. Sending a quick text to Ford, you sighed and took a nice long nap in preparation for tomorrow's audition.

.................................................

You nearly jumped through the ceiling and reached for your concealed blade you had gotten through security when a glass smashed against the floor.

Get a grip on yourself, Y/N.

A girl was apologising an unnecessary amount of times as a cleaner rushed in to save the day, wielding a dustpan and brush, telling the girl not to worry. You rolled your eyes and returned your eyes to the piece of paper you had been given upon arrival. Some assistant had given you a small excerpt of a drafted scene that you had to prepare to then perform. It had been hours since that had happened and you were leaning back, eyes closed because damn, jet lag sucked no matter how many times you went through it.

“Y/N L/N! Please make your way into the auditioning room please.”

You quickly stood up and folded the script into your pocket before following after the assistant. Short corridors and many turns later, you emerged onto a stage where a man was waiting along with a panel of five people. The desk was piled high in application forms, one stack significantly higher than the other, with various food wrappers and drinks scattered everywhere.

“Hi! I’m Y/N.” You threw on a genuine smile with a small wave.

Stay innocent, Y/N, stay normal.

“Hi.” Anthony Russo, - as your file had informed you- one of the men smiled. “Where are you from?”

“I’m from the UK and I’m currently living in London.”

“Okay, and what family do you have?”

“It’s just my Dad and I. I’m an only child.”

“Very well and final thing, why do you think you should be apart of this upcoming film?”

You took a ‘nervous’ breath. “Well, for one thing I would be able to do all my own stunts, I’m fluent in several languages, and I think this is a great opportunity and I’d hate to pass it up.”

“Sorry, right before you perform, what languages are those?” Joe Russo queried.

“I speak English, obviously.” Everyone gave a slight chuckle. “But I also speak French, Spanish, Romanian, Mandarin, German and Russian.”

“Cât de bine vorbești limba română?” The dark-haired, blue-eyed man in stage asked you.

You smirked. “Depinde de ce vrei să pot spune.”

He laughed in delight and extended his hand. “Sebastian Stan, nice to meet you.”

You shook his hand smiling. This had just gotten so much easier for you.

“I have no idea what just happened, but it’s time for you to perform, Y/N.” The man on the end of the panel smiled at you.

You nodded and took a step back from Sebastian before looking at him, asking if he was ready to start.

“Here, take my script.” He offered a piece of paper towards you but you just looked at it.

“No thank you, it’s okay.”

He looked at you puzzled however never the less, he tucked it into his jeans pocket.

“Ana, I need to go.” Bucky stepped towards her.

“But James, this isn’t your fight. We could easily use the face changers and move country.” Anastasia pleaded. “France is still clean.”

Bucky looked directly at her before moving away again. “You need to go. I can’t protect when I’m gone.”

Anastasia scowled up at the taller man, her words barely a hiss. “Don’t you dare think I need your protection!” Bucky took his chance to turn away from her. “This destroys everything we’ve been working for.”

The ex-assassin remained silent as the woman wrapped her arms tightly around herself. “I’ll go to the ends of the earth for you, soldier, I don’t need your protection. I need you.”

Anastasia silently moved to be in front of Bucky. “I’ll be with you.”

“Ana, this isn’t for-“

“James, it isn’t for you either.” She drew her finger tips across the side of his face. “Together.”

Bucky gripped her hand tightly. “Together.”

You smiled at Sebastian before taking a step back from your close position.

“That was incredible. Well done, you two.” One of the men, aside from the Russos, said.

“Thank you.” You smiled because you knew that it had gone well.

“You didn’t use your script which was impressive. None of the others did that." Sebastian complimented you.

A sultry smirk may or may not have been on your face as you walked away when you heard yours had been the best of all the auditions.

Taglist:

@nyxveracity @ariii287 @pointlesscasey @tahiti-island-dream @jayzayy @kapolisradomthoughts @curlycals @castellagreen @chipz4dayz @the-obsessive-fangirl @darkmelodies1 @saltymaddiee @lalalahgh @sammysgirl1997 @woofstar64 @marvel-lously @madamrubrum @ailynalonso15 @laqueus-ludovios @evyiione @steve-thotgers @in-the-potterhead-know @ironspiderguy

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bouncingtigger10 · 2 years

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New Post has been published on The Bouncing Tigger Reads

New Post has been published on https://www.tiggerreviews.com/come-and-book-blitz/

Come and? Book Blitz

PIERCE HER, Book One in the COME FOR ME series, is a steamy, romantic suspense novel featuring a kickass heroine who just happens to fall for Hollywood’s sexiest man alive.

She’s the hero. He plays one. That’s why falling in love could be the biggest—and best—mistake of her life…⁣

⁣

Excerpts

Charlie

Relief dropped the tension in her shoulders when she turned to unpack the rifle. She had to turn away. Away from Daniel Pierce to and her breath.

What the holy fuck was that, Charlie Girl?

Her body howled awake at his handshake. At his touch. The first time in six years it had responded to any man.

As a bodyguard, the sets she worked on accustomed her to being surrounded by beautiful people, men and women. She had seen, hell fought off, how such beauty was as much a burden as a blessing for many of them. She learned to treat them like nobodies. Or anybodies. It was one of the many reasons they trusted her.

But damn. Daniel Pierce, famously the sexiest man alive, possessed so much exquisite physical DNA it required a full audit. Sure, she had seen him plastered across covers and screens. A sudden flush fired up her cheeks for the solo plea‐ sure she gave herself at the sight of his photo a few times in the past. But that was a screen, a fleeting fantasy. This was him, palpable and in person. And oh, where his staggering bounty of beauty stopped, his sexy charisma raced, lapping her body for the win.

Damn, Charlie Girl. She adjusted the scope on the rifle. Slow your roll. You’ve got a job to do. A girl at risk.

And she’d fucking asked for this. Asked Anders where the cast hung out. Wanting to meet each one of them. Off set. In a setting where their guard was down. In a setting where a stalker may betray himself.

She wasn’t wheels down in Madrid for twenty-four hours, kissing her relaxing trip to Miami with Juliette goodbye, before she found herself jumping into the damn deep end of this job. Right into the ocean of Daniel Pierce.

And it was raging wet.

Over six feet of hulking muscles wrapped down a body that famously took discipline and sacrifice to achieve. Black hair fell in soft waves, framing aqua eyes as deep as a cenote, enticing anyone to jump in. Stubble blanketed a square jaw and deep cleft chin. Pillow lips formed a perfect soft bow, almost feminine, until they flashed a white-hot, hungry smile.

He was cast as Zeus, the god of gods who had no equal, many enemies and could bed any woman in a comic book series turned movie franchise. Two films had dominated the box office in the blockbuster series. A third was rumored. And everywhere Daniel Pierce went, he was “Zeus” to his fans. Charlie read how many followers and press also branded him— “Sex God.”

Careful, Charlie Girl. With a look like that, you’ll have a lot more to protect than a girl.

AUTHOR BIO:

Kelly Finley is fiction author of contemporary romances featuring bada** women and grown-a** men. She lives in the Carolinas with her husband and family. A rebel with many causes, she fancies black leather, dirty jokes, and smart mouths. Thrilled by a flipped script and ticked off by women portrayed as weak, she noticed how many steamy, sexy heroines were missing, particularly from suspense and military romance. Her friends shared the frustration and told her to practice what she has taught for twenty years. Her books feature characters we champion and love—ones with shameless heat, brave hearts, and whip-smart minds. She’s most likely at her keyboard right now, putting the next heroine on the page.

Author links:

https://www.kellyfinley.com/

https://www.instagram.com/kellyfinleyauthor/

https://www.pinterest.ca/kellyfinleybooks/_saved/

https://www.facebook.com/KellyFinleyBooks

https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/21891766.Kelly_Finley

#blogtours #comeforme #contemporaryromance #KellyFinley #kickassfemales #militaryromance #suspense #Women'sFiction #xpressotours

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andreadavidsonmusic · 3 years

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A Guide to My Music Goal Journals

Goal Journals have been talked about in plenty of situations, and their benefit has been well documented. Without a clearly defined goal in your music practice, you just float, not really progressing anywhere. However, if you can define your goals, you have something to work towards, and it keeps you focused.

Work Backwards

In setting your goals, you need to aim for one or two big things, and then work back to where you are today. For example, I’m going to share my goal journal. I have Long, Medium, Short, This Week, Today and Next Week goals. For me, Long term goals are 5-10 years. Medium is 1-3 years, Short is 2-15 weeks. This week, today and next week are obvious. However, you might not be in a situation where you want to plan 5-10 years ahead. There are different models - You might like a rolling 1, 2 and 3 year plan, or perhaps for you One Year might be long term enough. I decided to use the model I am using because I want to be more focused on my career.

My Long Term Goal is “To Gain a seat in a professional Orchestra.” Some people that know me would say upon reading that something like “You’ll never get there” or “Why not aim for that sooner?” The reason I’m aiming for 5 to 10 years is because I recognize that I’m not ready for a seat at the moment but hopefully in 5-10 years I should be at the level in which I can achieve this goal. If it happens before 5 years, then that’s great, but I don’t want to aim for next year when it’s unlikely to happen and I’d only just get disappointed when I don’t achieve it.

Once I’d decided upon that, it was time to start working backwards. As you work closer to today, you’ll notice that my goals increase in number, but they also decrease in difficulty, in a sense. So my Medium Term Goals have 4 things that I would like to achieve in the next 1-5 years:

Get Casual performing gigs with my local professional symphony orchestra

Gain extensive knowledge of orchestral excerpts

Learn one of the following concerti: Mendelssohn, Tchaikovsky, Dvorak, Sibelius, Weiniawski or Brahms

Develop a solid repertoire base in both solo and chamber music.

If You’ve ever given any thought to an orchestral career, you’ll be able to see that these are probably very important steps in preparation for an audition. Orchestral excerpts are important as they’re always asked for. The concerts that I’ve outlined are some of the most commonly asked for in Auditions. Having a solid repertoire base aids me in all numbers of ways. and Obviously, professional experience, even if only casually, will be helpful.

Onto my Short term goals, which are to be done in the next 2-15 weeks. Here I’ve got things like Prepare my Mozart concerto from memory for exams and concerto competition, be more confident in my double stopping intonation, learn common orchestral excerpts, and audition for an orchestral summer school. In this time period, it allows me to focus on the areas that are more pressing, while still keeping an eye towards the future. For example, my exams and the concerto competition don’t really appear in the longer term goals, however learning excerpts and auditioning for an orchestral summer school would be helpful.

My weekly goals include the small tasks I hope to achieve each week. These would be things that I get from my lesson, and also other tasks that I set for myself. Then each day, I would ask myself “What can I achieve today in order to progress towards that goal?”

Fancy…

The goal journal doesn’t have to be fancy. I keep mine as a word document on my laptop, which I take with me everywhere anyway. But it could just be a ring binder, or a piece of paper kept in your case. Whatever works for you does it. And of course, it doesn’t have to be in the models I’ve presented here. If you do something different, I’d love to hear about it in the comments.

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classical-crap · 7 years

Note

If you auditioned for a district/all-state orchestra could you give any tips or insight on the process? I have a district audition in a few days and I'm pretty nervous, as despite the fact that I've only played viola in orchestras over the last couple years I'm auditioning on the violin (my main instrument) and I generally get rlly nervous for auditions/performances. I was hoping u could share what to expect/how challenging it might be to get in/anything else in your experience. Thanks!

I'm not sure if it's the same everywhere, but usually you just meet with your orchestra teacher after school and record all of the excerpts. then you do some of them again and your teacher sends in your best recordings. my teacher gave me an hour last year, but that was because only two orchestra kids even auditioned from our school. so it's very likely that you won't get as much time.when you're practicing, record yourself, just to get used to the feeling. practice with a metronome, and be as accurate as possible.it's different for every state/district, but I'm assuming that it's fairly easy to get into, mainly just because I got in, and I'm nowhere near being hilary hahn. and it's a bigger deal in some places. I don't know. good luck

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philshawe-blog · 5 years

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Basic Principles for Business Development Leaders

Excerpt from Part 1.

One of the most rewarding parts of my job (as Co-CEO of TransPerfect) is to coach the art of effective management. Often employees are promoted to be a manager because they’ve been good in their previous position. In other words, the skills that allowed someone to succeed—to get promoted and to assume a leadership role—are not typically the same set of skills they will need to succeed in management. This presents an interesting challenge for companies because their first-time managers—whose continued success is the lifeblood of the company’s future—are often not prepared for the new role they are assuming.

The mission of Phil Shawe TransPerfect Advocate is to promote the visibility of LGBTQA people (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, questioning, allies) and matters related to the community both within and outside of the TransPerfect Family of Companies.

Given the heartfelt feedback I have received over the years, I thought I would take a page out of my own playbook, and challenge myself to “give back” by sharing some of the key points of Management 101 that have helped TransPerfect to develop what I truly believe is the greatest managerial team on the planet.

Here’s Part 2.

In Part 1, we discussed the most important aspect of being a successful manager: Taking a personal and vested interest in your team member’s success. You cannot fake this; and it must come across daily in both your words and your deeds. We are all human and, like in life, we will all make mistakes when it comes to management. There is no silver bullet, but taking this concept to heart, and adopting this philosophy will get you give the best shot at moving past any challenges and achieving greater and greater success in your career as a manager.

What’s The Only Thing That Makes People Mad in Life?

I love asking this question during managerial training sessions. I get a great range of answers. Perhaps before you read a few lines down, you can stop and think about the last time you were really mad about something yourself. Whether it was a significant other, a friend, a family member, a co-worker, someone you manage, or a boss…

You can probably boil it down to this:

A Mismanagement of Expectations

One illustrative example I use in training is that I tell the story how in my off time, I sometimes like to gamble. Whether I’m in Vegas, the Caribbean, or a major European city, I actually find playing table games in a casino a relaxing pastime.

So let’s imagine I’m playing in Las Vegas and I happen to lose money—and only later I find out that the casino was actually rigged. I’d probably be hopping mad. Why? Because I expected a fair game. I wouldn’t mind losing—I know you take your chances when you gamble—but I expected a fair shake.

Conversely, if on the way into the casino, there were bright, flashing neon signs everywhere saying: “Warning, this casino cheats!” – “Most of our games are scams!” – “If you come in here, you will very likely lose!” How would I feel then? Probably not so bad. I knew they cheated, and I played anyway.

Of course, this is a dramatic and unrealistic example, but it makes a critical point for managers to understand: always do exactly what you say you are going to do in management.

And above all:

Don’t Write Any Checks Your Career Can’t Cash

As a manager, I don’t care whether you are talking about promotion, a raise, a bonus for a project that required working crazy hours, telling someone they can attend a tradeshow, or having a Friday pizza party. Do not ever promise anything that you may not be able to deliver. And, constantly work to manage expectations and stay on the same page as your team.

So, how do you bring this commonsense comment out of the theoretical, and apply to the real world of being a successful manager in business?

Have a Mutually-Agreed on Plan for Success

If I worked at your company and was auditing it, I should be able to walk the floor and ask each person who works for you what the next step in their career is, and what they need to do to achieve it. And I should be able get decent and, hopefully, even specific answers.

“If I accomplish X, Y, and Z, over the next 6 months, I will get promoted in the next raise cycle and, based on my goals and growth, receive additional direct reports to help grow the business and my career alike,” would be great answer to get. If your people wouldn’t be able to answer this with some specifics, it’s probably time to sit down and have a discussion that defines goals, time frames, and rewards with as much specificity as possible. People should “begin with the end in mind” and it’s your job as a manager to help them connect the dots. (Also, if you work for someone and you don’t have this, don’t stew about it, there’s no rule that says you can’t help your boss be better manager. Have a meeting, and ask for goals.)

People Are Different, Manage Them With That Reality in Mind

Since we’re on the casino theme, I’ll stay with it. As a young entrepreneur years ago, I once found myself playing blackjack between Pete Rose and Brett Farve—long after the Rose controversy—and he and I were talking management and how to get the best achievement out of your team. He said an interesting thing to me about motivating people to help them achieve the best performance possible. He paused in his tobacco chewing, and said, “Phil, at the end of the day, there’s only three things you can do to a baseball player: You can kick him in the ass; you can pat him on the back; or you can leave him alone. The real trick is, knowing which to do.”

This comment stuck with me as I crafted my career and built TransPerfect in the early days. Many people want to manage everyone “the same” – because they think is innately a “fair” concept. But the truth is, people are not the same, they are not motivated by the same things, and while managing them “the same” sounds like a nice utopian answer—it will not produce optimum results.

As a manager you need to understand your individual team members’ definition of success, and craft career paths that make their success intersect with driving success for the company.

One Definition of Success for People: Progression.

The people you manage are not robots. If they were, robots would have replaced them already. You need to know what makes them tick. You should understand what success or progression is from their perspective. They could include:

increased financial rewards

managerial growth and greater responsibility

access to more training to develop knowledge and skills

intangibles (a title change, the corner office, etc.)

Once you know this, you need to support them by designing a career path that helps them achieve their goals, and makes these goals intertwined with results that drive the organization’s success.

Don’t be afraid to adjust your style to the individual. You can then coach them appropriately, and help them develop the underlying business fundamentals to make good business decisions. But please remember the old saying: If you can’t measure it, you can’t manage it. So get a plan down for mutual success for each person on your team—put it in writing and share it so there’s no mismanagement of expectations. Don’t write any checks you can’t cash—if your team hits the goals you’ve agreed on, make sure you live up to your end of the bargain.

For more information, see Phil Shawe's compensation, career history, education, & memberships.

#Phil Shawe

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harritudur · 7 years

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+ RPF + Jodie Comer / Jacob Collins-Levy + pg + 751 words

Of course Jacob had heard about Jodie Comer. He knew an agent --well, his agent knew an agent-- in London to ask what she was like. The reputation, the character, the whims. And he wasn't stupid, you know? He did his research. He knew that the girl was from Liverpool, that she was one year younger but way more experienced with television than him, and that she had a smile that could turn a pit bull into a lap dog.

He knew all about the bad movies, too. IMDB was a thing of beauty, he thought as he waited in an empty office for Comer to show up so they could read this scene together.

He checked his watch again. "Late" was not one of the words that had been used to describe her, but apparently it was quite fitting.

Jacob was getting nervous --waiting around with nothing to do did that to him-- and the fact that they'd never met before right now wasn't helping. It was a first for him: a 12 hours long flight to join England; a contract with a BIG american television network; a budget with a lot of zeros. And to think that just a few hours ago, he was still working in a warehouse near Melbourne.

Finally, there was the squeak-click of the door opening and in walked this tall blonde woman. Her hair was windswept and her cheeks were flushed and Jacob had to catch his breath for a second before he half-stood up to introduce himself.

"Rough morning?" he asked in a broken voice.

"Yeah," Comer said, rummaging through her bag. "Yeah, I'm so sorry. I'm late. My car and the tube and--"

"Oh it's okay!" he extended his hand out. "I'm Jacob."

And she placed hers in his. "Jodie."

"I know. Look," Jacob said, smoothing his fingers over the script in front of him, "I --we have to do this reading in ten minutes, right? Maybe, we should skip the small talk. I mean... I'm not used to how it works here in the UK."

"Oh, it's basically the same everywhere, I guess." Comer produced a rolled-up script and flung it on the table in front of her. "I didn't see anyone waiting around, so it's just us?"

"Yeah," Jacob answered, rubbing at the bridge of his nose, "it's just us."

"Okay," Comer said, brushing hair out of her eyes and sitting down.

It was a short scene, a tiny excerpt of these two characters talking around a table. They read through it once, twice, and by the end of the fourth reading, Jacob almost felt comfortable in his character. That had never happened that quickly --maybe because of the many articles and two biographies he read about Henry. When one of the producers came to get them for the 'chemistry' test, Jodie (somehow, she'd gone from "that Comer girl" to "Jodie" in the span of ten minutes) grinned, and the nervous tightness in Jacob's chest was suddenly gone.

After the reading, he walked out of the room and just leaned against the wall for a minute, savoring the moment. They would have to wait at least a week before they knew if finaly they were going to start filming, but that was okay by him. Jodie followed shortly after, and they walked in near silence (save for the beeping and booping of Jodie's phone) towards the exit.

"Well," she said, "I guess I'll see you around, then." And she held her hand out.

"Hey," Jacob said, ignoring the delicate outstretched hand in front of him, "do you have to be some place right now?" He tried to make it sound like anything but a pick-up line, but it did anyway.

Jodie readjusted her bag on her shoulder, crossed her arms. "No, not really. Not for another few hours. Why?"

Jacob's mouth was dry, but hey, he'd just auditioned for a room full of network execs, right? Perfectly normal. "Well, I mean, I have a plane to catch in a couple of hours, but-- I've never been in London and I know no one in this city, so--" He looked at Jodie, whose expression was teetering between amused and confused. "Eh, never mind," he finished, and started walking away with his hands in his pockets.

"Wait," Jodie said, catching Jacob's shoulder with her fingertips and he reflexively turned around. "No, let's go get a drink or something. I know a nice pub around her."

Jacob smirked approvingly. "Great."

#jacob collins levy #jodie comer #J² #rpf #*OOPS I MADE A THING AND I AM SORRY*#WE ALL KNOW IT WILL HAPPEN ONE DAY #do not worry #it's innocent and pure

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tripstations · 5 years

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Hotel History: Asian American Hotel Owners Association

The Asian American Hotel Owners Association (AAHOA) is a trade association that represents hotel owners. As of 2018, AAHOA has approximately 18,000 members who incredibly own about half the 50,000 hotels in the United States. If you bear in mind that Indian Americans constitute less than one percent of Americas population, the conquest of this business niche is extraordinary. Furthermore, about 70% of all Indian hotel owners are named Patel, a surname that shows that they are members of a Gujarati Hindu subcaste.

How did this economic miracle come to pass? The first Indian motel owner in the United States is said to have been an illegal immigrant named Kanjibhai Desai who managed to buy the Goldfield Hotel in downtown San Francisco in the early 1940s.

Some twenty-six years later in 1949, another Asian American of Indian descent came to the United States from his home near the city of Surat during the first wave of legal immigration from India. Bhulabhai V. Patel picked apricots and grapes in Northern California and worked at various jobs until he saved enough to purchase the 108- room William Penn Hotel in San Francisco in 1960. By 1996, Bhulabhai owned nine properties in Northern California with his son, Raman and grandson Pramod. At the time, he was amazed by the rapid growth of the Indian American lodging community. “It started with one hotel”, he said, “Now we’ve got thousands.”

“Patel” means farmer or landowner in Gujarat where the Patels are the original and largest clan. In order to facilitate tax collections, the British delineated, reassigned and renamed some of them “Amin” (the farm managers) and others “Desai” (those who kept the books). It is said that the Patels have a commerce gene in their blood and the anecdotal evidence seems to bear this out.

In the mid-1970s, Patels from India, Africa and Asia began to emigrate to the United States where any immigrant willing to invest $40,000 in a business could apply for permanent residence, the first step to citizenship. There were limited opportunities for such an investment. Restaurants required the Hindu Gujaratis to handle meat, an uncomfortable activity. Furthermore, a restaurant required one-on-one interaction with guests, confusing for newly-arrived immigrants. But distressed roadside motels could be acquired outright for $40,000. In addition, the motel industry was slumping badly because of the oil embargo and the resultant nationwide shortage of gasoline.

One Patel pioneer reported that a motel “… is easy to run. You don’t need fluent English, just the will to work long hours. And, it’s a business that comes with a house- you don’t have to buy a separate house….”

The new owners brought their business expertise and their families to operate these motels. They instituted modern accounting techniques to monitor the all-important cash flow. Four times cash flow became the mantra of the Patels. If the distressed motel produced $10,000 per year in revenues and could be acquired for $40,000, it was profitable for a hard-working family.

They renovated and upgraded the rundown motels to improve cash flow, sold the properties and traded up to better motels. This was not without difficulties. Conventional insurance companies wouldn’t provide coverage because they believed these immigrant owners would burn down their motels. In those days, banks were unlikely to provide mortgages either. The Patels had to finance each other and self-insure their properties.

In a July 4, 1999 New York Times article, reporter Tunku Varadarajan wrote, “The first owners, in a manner consistent with many an emergent immigrant group, scrimped, went without, darned old socks and never took a holiday. They did this not merely to save money but also because thrift is part of a larger moral framework, one that regards all nonessential expenditure as wasteful and unattractive. It’s an attitude buttressed by a puritanical aversion to frills and frivolities, one that has its roots as much in the kind of Hinduism that the Patels practice as in their historical tradition as commercial perfectionists.”

They bought, renovated, operated and resold motels mostly along the interstate highways. Soon, the name “Patel” became synonymous with the hotel business. Patels own motels in cities all over the U.S., including Canton (Texas, Mississippi, Michigan and Ohio), Burlington (Vermont, Iowa and North Carolina), Athens (Georgia, Tennessee and Alabama), Plainview (New York and Ohio) and Longview (Texas and Washington).

Author Joel Millman writes in The Other Americans (Viking Books):

“Patels took a sleepy, mature industry and turned it upside down- offering consumers more choices while making the properties themselves more profitable. Motels that attracted billions in immigrant savings turned into real estate equity worth many billions more. That equity, managed by a new generation, is being leveraged into new businesses. Some are related to lodging (manufacturing motel supplies); some related to real estate (reclaiming derelict housing); some simply cash seeking an opportunity. The Patel-motel model is an example, like New York’s West Indian jitneys, of the way immigrant initiative expands the pie. And there is another lesson: as the economy shifts from manufacturing to services, the Patel-motel phenomenon demonstrates how franchising can turn an outsider into a mainstream player. The Gujarati model for motels might be copied by Latinos in landscaping, West Indians in homecare or Asians in clerical services. By operating a turnkey franchise as a family business, immigrants will help an endless stream of service providers grow.”

As investment and ownership expanded, the Patels were accused of a wide variety of crimes: arson, laundering stolen travel checks, circumventing immigration laws. In an unpleasant burst of xenophobia,Frequent Flyer magazine (Summer 1981) declared, “Foreign investment has come to the motel industry…..causing grave problems for American buyers and brokers. Those Americans in turn are grumbling about unfair, perhaps illegal business practices: there is even talk of conspiracy.” The magazine complained that the Patels had artificially boosted motel prices to induce a buying frenzy. The article concluded with an unmistakable racist remark, “Comments are passed about motels smelling like curry and dark hints about immigrants who hire Caucasians to work the front desk.” The article concluded, “The facts are that immigrants are playing hardball in the motel industry and maybe not strictly by the rule book.” The worst visible manifestation of such racism was a rash of “American Owned” banners displayed in certain hotels across the country. This hateful display was repeated in post- Sept 11 America.

In my article, “How American-Owned Can You Get,” (Lodging Hospitality, August 2002), I wrote,

“In post-Sept. 11 America, signs of patriotism are everywhere: flags, slogans, God Bless America and United We Stand posters. Unfortunately, this outpouring sometimes oversteps the boundaries of democracy and decent behavior. After all, true patriotism encompasses the best features of our founding documents, and the very best of America is reflected in its diversity. Conversely, the worst if reflected when any one group attempts to define “American” in their own image. Unfortunately, a few hotel owners have attempted to describe their own peculiar version of “American.” When at the end of 2002 the Hotel Pennsylvania in New York City installed an entrance banner saying “an American-owned hotel,” the owners attempted to deflect criticism by explaining, “The issue of American-owned is basically not disparaging toward other hotels. We want to provide our guests with an American experience. We want people to know they are going to get an American experience. We are not really interested in what the other hotels are or what they are not.”

This explanation is as wrongheaded as it gets. What is an “American experience” in a country that prides itself on its cultural diversity? Is it only white bread, hot dogs and cola? Or does it encompass all the arts, music, dance, food, culture and activities that various nationalities and citizens bring to the American experience? How much more American can you get?”

Today AAHOA is the largest hotel owners association in the world. Its U.S. citizen members own one of every two hotels in the U.S. With billions of dollars in property assets and hundreds of thousands of employees, AAHOA-owned hotels are core contributors in virtually every community in the United States.

Excerpted from my book “Great American Hoteliers: Pioneers of the Hotel Industry” AuthorHouse 2009

The Roosevelt New Orleans Hotel (1893) is Encouraging Return of Stolen Items

Participants who return such items will be eligible to win a seven-night stay in one of the hotel’s lavish presidential suites, worth over $15,000. The Roosevelt plans to display the items in its lobby, as a record of the hotel’s history. The campaign called the “Historic Giveback Contest” has been launched to celebrate the hotel’s 125th birthday. Former guests have until July 1, 2019 to return items by dropping them off at the concierge desk or sending them in the mail, said General Manager Tod Chambers.

The author, Stanley Turkel, is a recognized authority and consultant in the hotel industry. He operates his hotel, hospitality and consulting practice specializing in asset management, operational audits and the effectiveness of hotel franchising agreements and litigation support assignments. Clients are hotel owners, investors, and lending institutions.

New Hotel Book Nearing Completion

It is entitled “Great American Hotel Architects” and tells the fascinating stories of Warren & Wetmore, Henry J. Hardenbergh, Schutze & Weaver, Mary Colter, Bruce Price, Mulliken & Moeller, McKim, Mead & White, Carrere & Hastings, Julia Morgan, Emery Roth and Trowbridge & Livingston.

Other Published Books:

Great American Hoteliers: Pioneers of the Hotel Industry (2009) • Built To Last: 100+ Year-Old Hotels in New York (2011) • Built To Last: 100+ Year-Old Hotels East of the Mississippi (2013) • Hotel Mavens: Lucius M. Boomer, George C. Boldt and Oscar of the Waldorf (2014) • Great American Hoteliers Volume 2: Pioneers of the Hotel Industry (2016) • Built To Last: 100+ Year-Old Hotels West of the Mississippi (2017)

Hotel Mavens Volume 2: Henry Morrison Flagler, Henry Bradley Plant, Carl Graham Fisher (2018)

All of these books can also be ordered from AuthorHouse, by visiting stanleyturkel.com and by clicking on the book’s title.

Travel News | eTurboNews

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prettylittleliarsxxxx · 7 years

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CHAPTER 6: LUCY GOOSEY

A few months after I moved to Los Angeles, I woke up to a call from my agent, Steve. I’d been sleeping in a lot at the time, and I’d slept in again that day. I groggily picked up the phone, still half asleep, and tried to decipher what my agent was saying.

It took me a second to realize he was telling me to hurry up and get out of bed: I’d gotten a last-minute callback for a new ABC Family pilot called Pretty Little Liars.

I’d been meeting with casting directors regularly since I’d moved from Pittsburgh. I’d gone out for bit parts in TV, but this was my first pilot, and I had no idea what to expect. There’s a difference between acting and auditioning, and I wasn’t sure I was a strong auditioner. I could talk to casting directors all day about the quirks of classical theater training, but when it came to actually selling my version of a character to them, I was still very new to the game.

Despite my self-doubt, my representation kept pushing to get me in the room with casting directors all over town. They seemed to believe in my acting abilities, or at least in my bone structure. Their enthusiasm helped keep me motivated.

I’d been in to audition for this pilot once already — for the part of Ezra Fitz, a young high school English teacher. It’d gone decently well but hadn’t been anything to write home about. Getting a callback came as a surprise. Steve gave me the breakdown for the Pretty Little Liars callback — he told me that I’d be reading across from Lucy Hale this time, the girl that had been cast as Ezra’s underage love interest.

Before he got off the phone, Steve said, “Ian, not quite sure how to put this, but look nice, okay? Nice shirt, nice pants, wash your face. Don’t mean to sound like your mom, but this one could be good for you.”

Unfortunately, I didn’t have much in the way of “nice” clothes. Student loans were hanging over my head like the sword of Damocles at the time, and buying new clothes seemed like a waste of money. I’d had to buy a suit earlier in the summer for a wedding, and had left all the tags on it so that I could return it after. About the only thing nice I owned was a blue button-down shirt. That morning it had pasta stains all over it from a raucous Italian dinner a few nights earlier, and I’d forgotten to do my laundry.

I rolled out of bed and surveyed my one-room apartment: all my possessions were strewn about within arm’s length. Dangling on a suspicious-looking metal pipe sticking out of the ceiling was a hanger with my only other clothing option: a green V-neck sweater that I’d had since high school.

The sweater was from Hollister, and it had the company’s seagull logo on the tag. I always liked that about it. It was like an inside joke between me and myself. Carrying that little bird everywhere with me always felt comforting, like a good luck charm.

Plus, it was also the only item of clothing I owned that didn’t have holes in it. I wore it everywhere.

I threw myself in the shower, considered shaving but didn’t have time, and tried to dry off as best I could. I didn’t have AC, and on warm days the apartment would heat up like an oven. It was early October, and I should have been enjoying something hot and pumpkin-spiced, but it was sweltering outside.

There wasn’t time to stand in front of the open refrigerator to cool off, which I did on a daily basis. I grabbed my trusty green sweater off the hangar and headed out to Warner Bros. studios in Burbank, where the audition was being held. Of course, my car didn’t have AC either, and I could feel the beads of sweat on my back joining together to form small rivulets. It was as gross as it sounds.

Right before I walked into the casting office, I pulled the green sweater on and prayed that nobody would ask me about my clothing choices.

I walked into the office, which was thankfully cooled to an appropriate temperature for long sleeves.

Then I glanced around the room and started to sweat again. The waiting area was filled with handsome model types. Guys who didn’t own knives because they did all of their slicing and dicing with their razor-sharp jawlines. I recognized a few of them from their stints as sexy werewolves and morally loose ad men from the 1960s. Not only were these actors all phenomenally good-looking, they all had booked serious jobs before.

The only work I had under my belt at the time was a bit part in an indie film and a smoothie commercial I’d done in college.

“Ian Harding?”

A young woman with a clipboard approached and checked off my name.

“You’ll be up in just a second.”

I’d been to this office once before to meet with casting directors right after I moved to Los Angeles, and I knew there was a bathroom down the hall. I had to get away from everyone for just a second, make sure none of the cold pizza I’d had for breakfast on the drive over was stuck in my teeth.

In the bathroom I looked at myself in the mirror and doused my face with water, careful not to let any droplets get on my festive sweater. I started running through my lines in my head.

When I first started auditioning, I’d listened to music — usually fast-paced metal or hip-hop —to psych myself up. But I realized after a few auditions that I was going in and practically screaming my lines. So, I tweaked my routine to be a bit more meditative. It’s been more effective so far than listening to Slipknot.

I closed my eyes, took a few slow and deliberate breaths, and, with my eyes closed, watched as my lines appeared in the dark space behind my eyelids.

The scene I was working on today involved me striking up a conversation with a woman at a bar in the middle of the afternoon. Cut to: we’re making out in the women’s restroom. It would end up being the scene that introduces my character in the first episode of the show.

The first time I read the pilot, I didn’t quite know what to make of Ezra, but I felt like he and I somehow clicked. I felt a warmth about the role, a sort of natural rapport. I didn’t want to go in and fuss with the part for this callback. I knew what I wanted to do with it.

From outside the bathroom I heard a door open and a female voice say something. Then a muffled chorus of heys and hellos from all the guys. I didn’t want to keep casting waiting on me, so I ran a hand through my hair and gave myself a final once-over in the mirror.

Back in the lobby, the guys were all talking quietly. I sat down in an empty chair.

One of the sexy werewolves turned to me:

“You just missed her. Lucy Hale just walked by. The girl they cast as Aria.”

Aria, the girl my character picks up at the bar. The entire room was buzzing about her.

“My friend did a short with her. He said she’s single.”

“Your friend’s wrong, man. She’s dating a guy from my cousin’s acting class.”

“Bullshit.”

“I’m serious!”

“She’s so hot.”

A door opened at the far end of the room, and the casting assistant with the clipboard poked her head around the corner.

“Ian? We’re ready for you.”

The sexy werewolf called after me to break a leg as I walked across the room.

The shades were all pulled down on the windows in the audition room, and it took a second for my eyes to adjust. The only source of light was a bright lamp mounted on a C-stand. There were half a dozen people seated behind a camera on one side of the room.

“Hey man, good to see you again,” a guy called out from behind the camera.

“Yeah you too, bud,” I replied, realizing that “bud” might have sounded a little too chummy.

There were familiar faces in the room, but new ones too. The woman to my left — I was pretty sure she was the writer of the show. Or the creator? Both?

The guy to her right — Bob, was it? He had seemed like a nice guy the last time I read for the part. I figured I would try and keep him laughing, maybe crack a joke about all the lookalikes waiting outside.

Gayle, the casting director, whom I’d met a few days prior, gave me a big smile. “Good to see you again, Ian,” she said. “Have a seat there and go ahead and slate whenever you’re ready.”

I sat down, a hand over my eyes to shade the glare of the light over the camera.

“Hi,” a voice chirped to my side.

I totally hadn’t seen her: right next to me, smiling expectantly, was Lucy Hale.

“Oh hey,” I said. “Didn’t see you there.”

“Hot out, isn’t it?” she teased, eyeing my sweater.

“I just like Christmas a lot,” came out of my mouth. That didn’t entirely make sense.

She grinned mischievously at me.

There was something about her that I recognized immediately, or recognized in her. We’d never met before, but there was something familiar, something comforting about Lucy. Perhaps the way she looked at me in that moment felt open, receptive. Like she was taking me in as opposed to merely appraising me.

It wasn’t cinematic: sparks didn’t fly, orchestral music didn’t well up as we gazed into each other’s eyes. It was a simpler moment. Quieter. Two people stuck in a whirlwind of expectation and excitement — we each somehow understood who the other was.

“I’m Ian, by the way,” I said, leaning forward to shake her hand.

“Lucy,” she said, a slight smile spreading across her face. “Whenever you’re ready,” Gayle said.

I sat, took a deep breath, and we began.

Lucy’s line went something like, “Oh, I love this song.”

I nodded. There wasn’t any music playing, but I nodded. I looked into Lucy’s eyes, and it suddenly dawned on me what the scene was about. It wasn’t a love scene at all. I didn’t need to kiss her, or have sex with her, or make her my wife.

I wanted to understand her. It was that simple. I wanted to know everything I possibly could about this woman.

Somebody coughed. I had a line to say.

“B-twenty-six!” I blurted out. It was the number of the song on the jukebox at the bar we were supposed to be sitting in.

Lucy’s eyes went wide in surprise. She hadn’t expected the line to come out like that — neither had I.

We were both surprised, and because we were both surprised, the moment was suddenly alive. Fresh. We were listening to each other, actually communicating. There was chemistry.

We read through the scene again, the second time the dialogue rolled out crisper than the first. I wanted to read through the scene once more. I was having too much fun.

But all too soon my time was up.

I looked around at the faces in the room. At the end of every audition, there’s a moment, usually no longer than the time it takes to look up from your script, when, for a fraction of a second, you see the next few years of your life align. When you start out as an actor, this is the moment you live for.

Marlene — that was her name! — the creator of the show, thanked me for coming in as she scribbled on the pages on her lap.

“Yup, good job,” Gayle said. I think she was smiling. Headshots were shuffled. Pens scratched paper. “Thank you!” I threw out to no one in particular.

I grabbed my keys and phone, which I had apparently set down on the floor at some point.

I turned back to Lucy.

“Thank you for everything,” I said.

“Oh! You too. Don’t die from heat exhaustion in that sweater,” she said.

I walked back out through the waiting room, waved to the werewolf and told him something like “go get ’em,” and headed for the parking lot. I waited until I got all the way outside before ripping off my sweat-drenched sweater.

On the way home, my phone buzzed. Vikram, my manager, was calling. I pulled over to take the call.

“How’d it go?” he asked.

“I really have no idea.”

“That can be good.”

“Yeah.”

I sat for a moment, mulling over the audition.

“This one was different,” I said.

Vikram waited for me to continue.

I put the phone on speaker and laid it on the dashboard, freeing my hands to gesture what my mouth couldn’t articulate.

“Lucy Hale was in the room. It was a chemistry read, right? I was surprised at how easy it was. It was like hanging out with an old friend. It was weird.”

“Ian, all of that sounds like a good thing.”

“Maybe you’re right,” I conceded.

“No, I am right, because they want you to go in for a network test.”

“You already knew!?” I yelled at the phone.

Vikram chuckled. “I wanted to know your thoughts first!”

Several more rounds of callbacks followed. And every round there were fewer and fewer of us in the waiting room. Lucy and I read together in front of different people in different rooms, and we got to hang out a little bit, too. We were becoming fast friends.

Finally, there were just two of us left trying out for the role of Ezra. Me and one other guy. He was Canadian. The pilot, and possibly the entire show, was going to be shot in Vancouver, so my agents had warned me that he was the financially responsible option for the studio.

On the day of the final producer session, I arrived early. I was sitting in my car in the parking lot, going over my lines with my eyes closed, when I heard a tap on the window. It was Lucy. She grinned and waved. I rolled down my window.

“Schmian!” she yelled. Lucy loves nicknames.

“Hey, Lucy Goosey.”

“How you feeling?” she asked. “Excited?”

“Nervous,” I said. “I’m feeling really, really nervous.”

“I know what you mean. Between you and me, I hope you get it. It’d be really fun to work together.”

We went inside, shook hands with the producers, and I auditioned my heart out one last time.

I was going to miss this. With all of the other actors I’d met in Los Angeles, acting had felt like work. I showed up and I did my job. With Lucy, it felt like two kids in a sandbox. We were constantly surprising one another.

After the audition, I felt a strange hollowness. It was my last audition for the show. There was nothing else I could do now. And I wasn’t ready for this all to end.

I wanted this role.

Back in my neighborhood, I was circling the block looking for a parking space, when my phone started to buzz again. It was Steve, my agent. I put the phone on speaker.

“Hey!” I said.

The voice on the phone was somber.

“Ian, hey,” he said. “This a good time?”

“What’s up?” I said.

“I’ve got bad news . . .”

I stopped the car in the middle of the street. It was over. It had been a nice fantasy, but I should have known better than to get my hopes up.

“Let’s hear it.”

“Yeah. It’s just — do you have any warm clothes?”

In the passenger seat next to me was the green sweater that I’d worn to that first callback. One of these days I was going to remember to get it washed.

“Yeah, I’ve got a sweater or two,” I said. “Why?”

“I hear that Canada is cold in November.”

“. . .”

“So you’ll need to pack some warm clothes since you’re going to be up there shooting for a month. You got the role, Ian. Knocked it out of the park. Congrats!”

“. . .”

“Ian, are you there?”

“Goddamnit, Steve!” I shouted. “My emotions are not a pipe for you to play upon!”

Steve chuckled and took my outburst for what it truly was: tremendous excitement.

After we got off the phone, I looked back over at the sweater with the seagull on its tag.

When I got my first paycheck, I went and got it dry-cleaned.

#pll #pretty little liars #link #ian harding #lucy hale #ezra fitz #odd birds #other projects #long post

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