I should’ve never smoked that shit now I’m finding out what I just smoked
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slowly becoming unhealthy obsessed with lord huron. this is the doing of @thatonegeekygirl and i fear i will never be the same after listening to all his beautiful music. NEVER!!! 🫶
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quick indulging in some stede angst while i procrastinate on finishing my piece on e5
i’m consistently fucked up over the blacked out form that used to be stede in the family portrait, and the metaphor it provides about the way stede handled his life and trauma: everything’s pretend. he’s not truly there, he’s living a story in his head in ways both lovely and inadvertently cruel.
lovely: looking at the world and demanding it bend to his delusional belief things could ever be other than they are. that it could be better.
inadvertently cruel: leaving mary and the kids (leaving ed) to wonder: was it me? if i was better, if i had been kinder or a more supportive wife, a better behaved child or a co-captain with less baggage or a better man, would he have stayed? would i have been worth staying for?
stede’s got a whole basketful of reasons he leaves without explaining why in both cases. but he does leave, and he doesn’t explain: those actions ripple out and hurt the people he leaves.
but also, we know stede’s general self-worth is under the fucking ground!!! less than zero!!! he has absolutely no inkling that his absence might affect someone just as much as his presence. he thinks: i am a burden people suffer. when i remove myself from their lives, i am ultimately making those lives easier, in heartbreaking part because he cannot imagine a world in which somebody actually wants him around.
i know i’m a big old hippie and a reconciliation will come faster than we might think truther, but goddamn i just want ed and stede to have the mutual validation moment! because ed needs to hear “it was never about not wanting you or not wanting to be with you, it was a gross cocktail of trauma and old fears and chauncey being a walking nightmare in so, so many ways” from stede and stede needs to hear “you leaving me? fucked me up real good in ways we may need to do some work to overcome, but only because you are somebody i always want to be around, even when things are not pleasant and conflict-free, all forever-like” from ed asa-fucking-p.
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Xiaojun: Yangyang, where are you going? I gave you that dog treat to give to Bella.
Yangyang: Yeah, I was going to give it to Bella in my room, not it front of you guys.
Kun: Yangyang, were you going to eat that dog treat?
Yangyang: ......no.
Kun: Do you eat the pets treats when we're not looking?
Yangyang: Maybe. But Taeyong gave them to me when he was babysitting.
Kun: Was he also eating them?
Yangyang: Yes.
Hendery: He also gave us hamster food he brought from home.
Kun: He doesn't have a hamster. Why does he have hamster food?
Hendery: I don't know but it tasted good.
Yangyang: I liked the yogurt drops and seed sticks. Kun can you take us to the pet store?
Kun: *on the phone* I don't care that he's the best parent this group has, he fed them pet food Ten and now they have a problem. Yangyang put that milkbone down.
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i have a very important question about splatoon that has never been answered. what does the ink taste like? nonono hear me out. there is no way that an inkling or octoling has never opened their mouth to yell booyah, and had ink from someone else's weapon fly into their mouth. somewhere in inkopolis, there is a stupid inkling who once turned to their friend and said "hey, spray your splattershot into my mouth!" what does the ink taste like nintendo. what does it taste like.
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I finished A cosmology of monsters and I absolutely devoured the whole book.
It's kinda ironic how the beginning really scared me in a way no other book has ever done, when it took in fact a complete different direction to what I thought.
What scared me was that I thought we were gonna see characters slowly becoming mad and paranoid and maybe violent and we'll have trouble separating what's real and what is not.
But in the end it's not a story about monsters. The monsters are real. But the scariest monsters are the ones the characters are facing in their real lives.
It's a story about a family falling apart because of secrets, grief, depression and precarity. These are the real monsters. And in a way it's way scarier that what's scared me in the first place, because nobody can't escape real life problems (I try but hey they're still here). So my fear was replaced by sadness and the heavy weight lies and unsaid things let on a family.
I have to admit I am always found of stories about dysfunctional families and their intergenerational trauma and how intricate and hard it is to find a way out of all this. I do enjoyed that the story does not let the reader with this in the end with no sense of hope. But I guess the moral of the story, or the moral I choose to believe in is to share your emotions with your loved ones. If only I knew how to that IRL, but that's not the topic here.
Some moment were really gut-wrenching, I particularly appreciated how depression was being written.
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if kaiser's fav food ends up being this, i will cry laughing
STOPPPPPP THATS SO SICK OF HIM TO LIKE A FOOD W HIS OWN LAST NAME IN IT.... CONCEITED AHH MF
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Op I just want you to know, the posts you made about the whole NSR hanahaki disease concept have been rotting in my brain since yesterday and have dragged me back into the NSR brainrot and my brain is now filled with I D E A S
I could never come up with anything as eloquently put as what you or the other lovely people who added onto that initial idea did, but GOD I have been THINKING. A LOT. And at some point I’ll make (fan)art for this concept don’t you worry 🫡 however school just started and is beating my ass so it will probably take a while for that to happen
HELL YEAAAAAAAAAAAA, get that brainrot!!!!! deffo draw and write as much as you'd like, and pls @ me when you get around to making stuff for it cause I'd love to see!!
good luck with school and hope it gets easier!!
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