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#but it is still going to be heavy af
crazywolf828 · 2 years
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See my dilemma here is I want to write more of the band au but I absolutely dispise the beginning (as in the parts I already posted). Hate that.
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porcelainvino · 12 days
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why are art supplies so expensive wtf
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sad--tree · 2 months
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well shit. just checked out the lineup 4 bluesfest this year and i may have 2 actually brave the crowds 4 once. there might just be enough ppl id wanna see to make it worth it, altho tbh matthew good is almost enough for that on his own lol coz like. matthew good!!! that's the music of my freakin childhood man!! (*the most canadian sentiment ever)
#but also: ben howard; orville peck; charley crockett; mother mother#and of course. motley fucking crue. for some reason. i mean why not right? lol#ftr no i dont know why its called bluesfest when theres so much non-blues. they DO have blues its just. theres a lotta other stuff.#idk. perpetual mystery here in the nations capital.#i REALLYYYY wanna see matt good tho i was supposed to in 2020 and he CANCELLED instead of rescheduling like every1 else 😭#still might go to mtl in april to see him tho. festival sets are just Not the Same lbr#NOW i just gotta see if any of the artists i wanna see are on the same days..... pls..... so much more cost effective....#my whole life ive lived here and ive never been 2 bluesfest. maybe thisll be the year that changes#hmmm. $280 for a 'pick any 3 days' ticket is Not Bad At All.... definitely gonna b Pondering this further....#tho $410 for a full pass is also not terrible. relatively speaking bc tgats is still Not A Small Amount of Money#not sure the full lineup is worth that 2 me tho#HMMM#anyways hey bluesfest. why the FUCK is your website so bad my god the scrolling lag good fucking lord. what the fuck are u DOING back there#also also. on the topic of music festivals. i KNOW its not coming back but.... heavy mtl return W H E N 🥺😭🙏🔥#i just. wanna go 2 a metal music fest. w/o breaking the bank and/or subjecting myself to festival camping. which i refuse 2 try by myself.#not that we really have that sorta festival here at all but it seems the Really Big european ones are like that and uhhh.#it just seems like A Lot to do that solo. for a first time doing smth.#ANYWAYS !! still contemplating whether i want 2 spend altogether Too Much Fucking Money to see metallica and iron maiden later in the year#like on the 1 hand its A Lot Of Money plus id have to travel (edmonton 4 metallica; mtl or TO 4 maiden)#on the other hand. those guys arent gettin any younger. and the FOMO is unfortunately real af when u never know if theyre gonna retire#or like. DIE. (ok ok or like. idk break a hip or smth lol) ( they arent THAT that old just. u kno. fear.)
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collecting--stardust · 9 months
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Update: survived.
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More of this
The first image was moreso supposed to depict a slightly pissed off Volo whose only tell that he's angry is the minute waver of his illusion, hence the ends of his hair being faded and the part that sticks out of his bun is wispy. Alas, I effectively failed in portraying that both in terms of expression and because I have little skill in drawing side-profiles. Also the first image is him topless because I don't really know how to draw clothing on a side profile and have barely enough knowledge of anatomy to go 'fuck it ┐( ˘_˘)┌'.
Second Image I tried to do what I failed in the first and I guess??? it turned out okay??
H.Zoroark!Volo aside, the first image is also just how I headcanon him to look in terms of body type and being more scarred.
#【𝙿 𝚁 𝙸 𝚂 𝙼】#i have difficulty fathoming how some ppl look at volo and not see him as muscular in some manner???#like‚ some ppl do draw him thin or w/ an average body type but it doesn't click that it also means they perceive him as not physically#strong. bc in so many medias a character is basically your average joe but is strong af so there's dissonance in my brain that carries#across several different kinds of media. it's only when i undoubtedly see someone portray him as not that strong i go ??????#to me‚ personally‚ i /cannot/ perceive him as anything other than muscular given 1. he lugs that heavy ass backpack around /everywhere/#sure‚ he may or may not have it always stocked with supplies since he we only ever see him /actually/ do his job once ever but every time#we see him he's carrying that thing that if it isn't filled with stock‚ is filled with supplies for himself and his growing team of pokemon#which i would think wouldn't exactly lead to a light weight. (+ there's the spooky plate which itself doesn't weigh that much but it's#still weight) 2. he travels all of hisui by foot at least most of the time. we see that there are carts(?) that the guild members can ride#in that are pulled by pokemon so they don't have to walk those long distances all the time. volo is a loner within the guild somewhat#he's usually seen doing his own thing and checking out ruins and other things of his interest and only halfheartedly attends to his job as#a merchant. in order for him to do that period he would have to act alone and travel of his own accord bc the guild certainly wouldn't#allow it. you can also explicitly see in his concept art of him in his arceus outfit that he has /really/ big thighs which‚ like‚ no duh#and 3. THIS IS /HISUI/. these are times still long in the past! it'd be a miracle for any adult to be scarless given how dangerous those#times were. and again i reiterate: volo travels mostly /on his own/ he at least a lot of the time has no one but himself and his pokemon#to defend him and at the time we meet him a he has but only a single baby togepi! i honestly just have the firm belief of gamefreak being#a coward. i wouldn't really think that if gaeric and fucking /irida/ didn't look like twigs despite living in a place that has constant sub#zero temperatures. WHERE IS THEIR FAT? WHY DO THEY LOOK LEAN? GAMEFREAK HAS SHOWN THAT THEY CAN MAKE FAT/BUFF CHARACTERS. WHAT HAPPENED#you: it's literally pokemon‚ my guy. me: ←struggles to have a suspension of disbelief bc i have a hard time comprehending things that don't#make sense#edit: first mention of stocked w/ supplies i meant selling stock not personal
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erosastro · 1 month
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Synastry that indicates strong sexual attraction
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🔥Venus and Ascendant aspects: Strong physical attraction in particular, even with the harder aspects, even though at times it can difficult. The sexual chemistry is strong af. They tend to idolise each other though, especially for Venus personally to the ascendant person. This of course is more mutual and harmonious with positive aspects(this includes conjunction).
🔥Mars aspecting Mars: The harsh aspects will be explosive to say the least, and likely impulsive and instantaneous even if they clash a lot. Harmonious aspects are still hot and heavy and cannot get enough of each other. There’s still strong desire for one another.
🔥Moon aspecting Mars: Mars desires the emotional qualities of the Moon and Moon is attracted to Mars energy and drive. Normally, the favourable aspects are better with this, including conjunction. This is also a major baby making aspect (obviously depending on other contributing aspects/factors).
🔥Venus aspecting Pluto: I LOVE the conjunction with this one and I know that’s an unpopular opinion but it’s sooo hot. Whilst it can get possessive and jealous, if you’re both mature enough people it won’t get unhealthy (imo). As much as I don’t have the conjunction, harsher aspects are more difficult to work with but the chemistry is unreal. You’re so attracted to each other regardless of the aspect. You’ll want to do each other anywhere and everywhere.
🔥Sun aspecting Mars: Again, even the harsh aspects create strong sexual energy between two people. Intense sexual attraction and with positive aspects your bodies seem to move in sync with each others naturally. Harsher aspects tend to be more rough but all aspects are hot and heavy.
🔥Sun aspecting Venus: I’d emphasise the positive aspects more on this one, maybe opposition too, but not always square. Because this is more the lovey-dovey, I wanna make love to you type of aspect. It’s gooey and romantic more than anything but the sexual tension is still intense.
🔥Venus aspecting Mars: this one is a classic and I think it can go a long way, even if the signs are not in the degree enough to make an aspect(for example a cancer Venus at 20° and Scorpio Mars at 10°). It can still be intense and both parties are attracted to each other. Squares are hot af in this aspect btw but tend to be complicated in the long run(again depending on other aspects).
🔥Mars aspecting Pluto: You’re instantly drawn to one another. They’re both fascinated with each other and can’t explain why. They can’t stay away from each other and the sex can get kinky👀 even with harsher aspects.
🔥8th house placements(particularly Venus, Mars, Lilith and Moon): As controversial as this placement is, you can’t deny the attraction you feel to one another. The sex here is intense and you can’t explain the emotional connection to the other person. It can be unsettling and deep but you can’t stay away from each other. Sex is otherworldly .
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orcelito · 2 years
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sometimes i get tired of having to play either pop or chill cafe music bc of where i work. i wish i could play head banging music. 
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theoccultz · 1 month
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Who likes you and why?
#Revelation of love
General reading ,take what resonates leave what doesn't
Let me know which pile you picked 💙
Intuitive chanelling
My pac's are inclusive , your likes , comments & reblogs are appreciated i read em all and i love it (:
Photos, dividers not mine , credit to their rightful owner
Pile l . Pile ll. Pile lll.
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Pile l .
You can take it however you want ,a person who'll be coming into your life or someone you are manifestating , you can refer this pac as confirmation too
Who likes you ?
This is someone in your close circle but still at a distance, this could be a client , a friend of a friend, seems like this person knows you very well , they're observant and sneaky af ,i dont think anyone knows they like you they're the type of person who'll be present when others are gossiping about you just so they could find out more about you lmao , they could follow you on social media and they might keep up with what you post , who you see , who you're talking too this seems like a thing going on for a while , this person is jealous of the attention you get , the reason this person may not be ready to confess is because this person is smart they know you gotta befriend the friend of the crush first , be close to them so they add you in their priority list , they dont want to shoot their shot and miss it , yeah .
This person seems to be crushing on you for a while now , its like one of those crush who you want to move on from but you cant , i'm hearing this person has a lot of fantasies, they idealise you without realising, they notice everything about you , is this person having a good day? Why are they reading that book ? They will literally buy that book just so they could have a chance to discuss it with you .
I'm getting you guys may have small talk here & there and the discussion is always fun and a learning experience, you guys really put your creative intelligence to test you guys may have mercury- venus aspects in composite you may be very good at understanding each other and being philosophical, you have a smooth conversation whenever you guys meet but i'm getting it rarely happens this person always miss a chance to talk to you , lets say they see you grocery shopping and they dont approch to say hi , they just lower their cap so you wouldn't see them . Maybe this person is older than you or just wise , very mature . They want to flex on you so you realise their potential and it comes from a place of insecurity:/ but they also feel like you have low chances to be with them so they want to improve & be the best version of themselves , this person can provide you with a lot of security tho they are kind of successful and resourceful in some way maybe they are innovative and have some hard skills which comes in handy .
This is so cute pile 1 😭its like i'm walking in the hallway just too see them cause they cant get enough of you, they wanna be around, they wanna listen what you got to say they wanna know everything about you ,i feel like even if this person tries to have a conversation it never moves past something serious its just casual stuff, the daily boring stuff. This could be your mom's friend? This person doesn't have that much age difference tbh i would say hardly three ,i really love how this person have a good sense of boundaries they wouldn't make you uncomfortable , they literally overthink every conversation, they hate when you look closed off , they feel very possesive over you and they also feel guilty about their feelings uff this was heavy pile 1 this person needs a lot of reassurance.
Why do they like you ?
They find you cute, they feel like they manifested you , you are their type they see you as the next big thing in their life , they were going through a tough time , they have come of it recently and they have been trying to be their best self they only want best things in their life , they dont want to settle for less ,you could be an escape from their day to day life like the only thing that feels good , this person is trying to discern as well like do i like them ? Or am i just bored ? I feel like this person is confused but stubborn on their decision they feel like its kind of attraction that developed way too fast so thats why they're taking it slow , i would say they're not in denial now but they were in the beginning they would ignore you and they would try to find flaws in you but its kind of hard for them to get over their feelings they could be a fire mars , fire mars do not commit easily they fall fast and hard and they kind of need that sign that okay i need this and i need to take action before i miss out on something good . This person is 100 percent spiritual i keep hearing universe/ soulmate ...this person is really connected to their inner self & trust themselves .
What can they bring to your life ?
A lot of joy , understanding, support, fun moments this person is a giver and they'll be invested in your connection , i strongly feel this will be a long term connection, i feel like it could be very different from your previous one , this person will pay a lot of attention to you and they'll help you out , this person is big on PDA , they're gonna put their best foot forward, I like this person 💁i dont see any bad intentions, they are focused on bringing clarity to the connection at the moment because they have s tendency to self sabotage and universe is like No 🙃 . This person could have long healthy hairs , kind of piercing eyes , chin ? Tattoo , feminine look ah idk i'm getting felix , naruto , jane , they could look similiar to them this person is very shy they dont want to reveal anything that could expose them .
Your personal/ significant number is 3 .
Astrological details: cancer 9h , virgo8h , neptune 8h , libra rising, uranus-pluto , gemini stellium , saturn 3rd(yeah this person feels insecure about their expression of thoughts they feel like they can mess up ), retrograde planets , chiron-venus aspects , gemini venus .
Song additional message:
Thanks for reading !!
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Pile ll.
You can take it however you want ,a person who'll be coming into your life or someone you are manifestating , you can refer this pac as confirmation too
I think this is someone who's yet to be in your life but let's see
Who likes you ?
Someone who has regrets over you , they dont like to see you with other people, this connection has ended before it begun this could be an ex or someone who was a fling or an unconfessed love this person is dramatic and hopeless they want to give up and find someone new but they keep coming back to you they have failed relationships because of this , maybe you guys were in a situationship, this person keeps tabs on you lets say they attended your graduation ceremony but they pretended as if they didn't came for you , this could be someone who's cold and cautious or you could feel this way they are hesitant to show their affections they hate dissapointing others but they do it anyways ☠️✋🏻this person has a lot of pride and that stops them as well they dont want to hurt themselves so they hurt others in the process, yeah this person is protective over themselves they could be same age as you , they're kind of hurt by people, they're misunderstood and prefers to stay alone they could be well known but they still keep to themselves, they give me a good friend vibe but yes this person is very analytical, you say one thing wrong like you make fun of their interests and they'll disown you , they'll hide in their cocoon,i keep hearing extravagant words they could work somewhere very professional they could have a strong masculine voice gender doesn't matter ,they hate being the center of attention, they give me angelina jolie vibes, they could come off strong like they have a good built this person is into fitness , they could have a defined facial structure but they dont put in a lot of efforts in their appearance i feel like you have some sort of effect on them , it reminds me of those videos where they say ..."be around the girls who giggles a lot they'll heal you ....." i feel like you're someone very sweet but you're in some way similiar you could be like the mom friend , you may love travelling you may wear glasses ,you may love being online and talkin' with people this person feels like you're very secure and people like you easily you may love photography and east Asian cuisines, you could be a Pisces/taurus or you give that vibe i feel like you're free with this person this person makes you feel present in the moment, you guys explore a lot of new things with each other , you guys will be those couples who people feel like they dont know you guys but they're envious because you're so like married couples its like you have so much understanding and appreciation for each other , i'm getting respect you guys are not that couple who talk behind each others back ,you guys bring no drama for the people. I dont think so this connection is over 🫡☠️i keep speaking as if things are gonna happen, some of you could meet them while doing the most random thing ANYWAYS ...
Hmm interesting this person is not over you guys idk who this is , this person feels like you need new beginning together this could be a friend too who likes you but they maybe in the past has not accepted it . Its like your friends know them , you know their struggle in some way but they're still a mystery this person is resilient and hates losing they're kind of quiet but you should have guts to challenge them, they keep a lot in them they dont express themselves easily ughhh why is this so aqua/scorpio moon combo like no one is judging your ass 😭jk jk
Why do they like you ?
Oh this person is down bad for you , not a lot of people intrigue them they hardly like anyone, this person is head over heels they love your fashion style , they like your messy hair they love your angry face like they love everything about you , check where Sagittarius is rulling in your chart . This person feels like a fan of you 🤷you know when i was reading for who are they and what connection do you share this person was being so cool and nonchalant and now the feelings are literally on my face , you could carry a lot of. .... i dont back down energy ...." and this person loves that , they feel you're a combo , they feel like you challenge them , they want to experience every inch of you *i dont use these words guys its giving Wattpad i'm just chanelling dont judge me 🫠* they want to travel with you like lets go to movies , lets go here & there they want to get you alone , they could be a Aussie? They could be a journalist or they could be your senior, this person could make you shy easily they're just so attentive, i'm seeing someone literally stare tf out of the other person sitting across like bestie chill 😭 i'm telling you guys this person knows how to flirt , you might find them annoying too like let me eat peacefully and this person is like 🥹 you're so cute & its kind of baffling because LIKE YOUR MOUTH IS STUFFED WITH CARAMEL CHOCOLATE AND YOU'RE GIVING THEM WTF LOOK Its chaotic like that 😭✋🏼. This person may have this tendency to smile to themselves and sometimes you just wonder if this bitch is laughing at your ass 😭 . Ok but the amount of emojis its hard for this person to let you know how much they're into you they just cant and this is a struggle you'll have to face (':
You can be frustrated with them as well or other people are tired of their ass because i keep hearing cuss words , this person is hella mad at you and that's how you know i'm talkin' abt that person , they hate how you act so cool , how it looks like nothing effects you .
What can they bring to your life?
This person will bring travel , food and peace in your life , you'll be joyous around them , i'm getting reminded of ailee from tiktok, you'know that couple , you are two sides of the coin you guys are funky together , you guys will do things for each other lets say you never wrote a letter in your life but for this person you will.... lets say you person never cooked for anyone but for you they will , you are kind of polar apart , you might not even like this person at first but then like something happens and you start noticing them but the attraction was always there like you kind of realise you dont pay attention to them when you should?? Something like that *sorry it was kinda confusing* ,its like silent love , you both know you like each other but no one's making the first move like that BOLD move I'm talkin about, yeah you remind me of ailee and how she is with her boyfriend like she's giggling all the time and its so wholesome.
I dont want to end this reading its so cute how this person is ready to change themselves and be uncomfortable with that change for you . No cause GOOD . People should put in effort for their loved ones .
This person could have beard if they're a guy , they could be tall or they could be short too , they have a long oval face , they could have short kinda sliky hairs , they have this droppy eyes like that actor Johnny depp ,they love sunset ? , they could wear baggy clothes, they love accesories , they may have a favourite bag ,they value their things . They could look like lisa , jundu , jori ,n? They could work at sanitorium , jersey , break/separation,movie fan , sophomore. They could like Taylor swift as well or you do but there's someone here who's very much into westeen artists , main stream and their music . They could give reviews?
Your personal/significant number is 6 ,222, 759
Astrological details: leo , Virgo moon , pisces Mercury, libra mars ,saggi rising/moon , 12th placements, december , scorpio11h , pisces placements(they could come off as distant and aloof , a dreamer in their own world) they could be very direct in their communication,leo mars, gemini rising , they could work at McDonald's , yeah you guys may love beach cancer8h , you guys bond deeply .
Song message:
this person is hella mad at you and that's how you know i'm talkin' abt that person , they hate how u act so cool , i'm telling you this person will lose their mind if you leave them , let the universe handle their ego , this person will only be allowed in your space when they're not agressive and demanding , they could act like 5yr old and thats why they're not around you , this person needs to be sure of their actions and intentions because this relationship is very significant for both of you , i'm hearing like dont mess it up and whatsoever. You would know better if its meant for you .
Thanks for reading !!
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Pile lll.
You can take it however you want ,a person who'll be coming into your life or someone you are manifestating , you can refer this pac as confirmation too
Who likes you ?
I'm getting dynamic first
Ok there's a lot of attraction ....this person is new , they are starting to notice you , they are likeable kind of fun to be around, this is someone who you'll have a fun banter with ,you guys will be very expressive w/each other , this can start of as just friends , this could be an fwb , this person is gonna sweep you of your feet , (i was using a lot of yeahs apparently) they do talk like that and that's how you know its them its giving gemini 10h , this person is a chaser , you are not looking for love is how they feel , you're independent and a boss lady/men ,you trust your intuition, i feel like this is that relationship where you'll be smiling against your will while texting them 😭 you'll be in denial for sure or you are , this person will have a massive affect on you & vise versa, they're too much at times, this person is extra ✨they can be a fun person for their loved one's, they can be the gossip queen , this person is caring, straightforward and blunt if they like you , you will KNOW , they cant hide it for you . This person is petty asf , this person is frustrated , they could feel paranoid , this tendency of theirs to feed of jealousy comes from tension , anger , sadness & eagerness in your relationship .
Ok but i really love your vibe tho 🌞 you just shine pile lll , nobody can steal your light you may be psychic yourself you're connected to the divine, you are that person who childerens Love, you're positive and classy , this person will fall in love unexpectedly i think its somewhere between like+ attraction,they love your personality , you are this persons "dream" person , this person wants a person like you in their life , you are you know their competition like if they're 5 you're 10 .period . You could have met them where people were celebrating?
There's a lot of sexual attraction, 5th house vibe , in the party everyone can see your chemistry but this person has a hard time understanding, they want their persons attention when they're in a relationship this could piss you off because they're the type of person who's like oh i didn't study but they have topped the class cause they're always prepared and you don't want to rush into things , this person is like hyper active this person expresses what they feel they can get easily frustrated , this person is no filter , you can be yourself around them , you guys give off best friends -lover energy , its like they want to know everything thats going on with you , you cant hide it , i highly feel there will be instances where this person can misbehave with people out of jealousy they can blame you and sulk about it " why do you even talk with that person ? " Who are you i'm their person " things like that . You're more mature than this person for sure . This person could be into gift giving. This person could stress you out , they're sweet , you could be someone who needs space and this person is a drama queen , they'll literally act dramatic if you dont give them attention they cant put their act for long tho , this person is more of " okay i forgive you , let's go get tacos " and you're like WHAT? 😭Remind me when did i even apologise...
Oh YASS this person is reminding me of ASAP ROCKY you know how he's playful with rihanna 24/7 , they're from a well off family *old money* i keep seeing coins
Why do they like you ?
They wanna be like you , you inspire them to change for better , you make them feel serious about their goals , they have a soft corner for you , they like your personality because you're everything they need , they love how independent and a boss lady/guy you are , they feel protective over you yeahh they dont feel these things with other people thats why , this person could share moon synastry with you which i love 😭💙They could feel at peace with you , you're their home and thats why they're so affected by your energy because you pull them in . This person could be commitment phobic i wouldn't say it tbh i feel they are more nonchalant, do not take anything seriously but they take your relationship VERY seriously....when you feel these weird feelings for someone and you wanna get rid of this mindset and truly cherish the person . That's how this person feels for you , You guys won't feel that instant attraction its slow burn , its like you did not even wanted to get involved but you did😭✋🏻 ah i hope i'm making sense* i dont feel like editing your pile because the energy feels so free and i feel as though i should put things as i channel them 💙🫶🏼ignore any mistakes...
What they bring to your life?
A breathe of fresh air , you are relaxed with them you know how elders say don't be w/ someone who gives you butterflies be w/someone who calms your nervous system lol , you guys will be nasty together, you guys will be very comfortable, lots of jokes , cuddles , cute fights , emotional attachment, sweet love yeah its kind of magical i feel like rapunzel 😷* sorry lmao*
Your personal /significant number is 7 , 9 , 30
Astrological details : mars4h , uranus sextile venus , Aquarius moon , air sign , leo mercury, chiron-venus aspects , 4h placements , leo - virgo , sun 2h , jupiter8h , north node / sagg is very important here (this relationship is meant to bring Harmony & alignment) ,moon1h
there's delay here for some reason , there's a lot of uncertainty coming from someone's energy or outside influence , could be anything work , people, timing...which is normal (: i feel as though the timing is important so nothing will feel out of place . Also i'm picking up on abondonment issues , Anyways .
Song message
See i told you guys , this could be their first serious relationship & they're feeling every emotion alive lmao
Thanks for reading!!
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miinatozakiii · 24 days
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killshot
im nayeon x fem!reader ; smut!! 
synopsis: your roommate is aware that you hate her and she likes irritating you but oh no she just now realizes you’re hot and wants you so bad
warnings: kinda porn w no plot ; smut!!! ; mentions of alcohol ; hate fucking(???) ; degradation kinda ; insulting each other as they fuck yesss ; face riding ; comp sci major!reader *shivers and shakes* ; fwb-ish but not really ; nayeon is umm lowk manipulative but only if you squint , maybe? ; not proofread as always
wc: 5.1k
a/n: computer science major slander (i'm jealous) and also i don’t like the pacing but oh well maybe u guys will (i'd be such a great writer if i weren’t lazy af... )
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with a groan, you lift yourself off the bed after hearing a loud thud. tiredly, you blindly reach for your phone and check for the time with squinted eyes: 1:04am. 
a low “fuck” leaves your lips while you struggle to sit up, still hearing the impact of bodies crashing against the walls and the faint sounds of a woman and man groaning through the bedroom door.  
nayeon is home. 
this is a bi-weekly occurrence; your roommate nayeon stumbles into the apartment all hot and heavy from the alcohol that was in her system, and then you can hear her getting all intimate—against your will—with some random person she’s found at the various clubs she cycles through. to be completely honest, you don’t care for her midnight rendezvous, just as long as they don’t bother you. 
however, this night she’s bothered you greatly; you’re fucking irritated. 
just when you had finally sought solace in the arms of sleep after hours of laboring over a project, your few minutes of rest are abruptly shattered by the intrusion of nayeon. —all drunk and insatiable—who’s barging into your room whilst some average guy latches onto her neck. he doesn’t look like he knows what he’s doing, but it doesn’t matter because nayeon’s senses are too fucked to really pay attention to that. 
“get the hell out of my room.” you yell angrily towards the two. to say you were annoyed would be an overwhelming understatement, you were furious. 
“ah—fuck, sorry y/n,” she responds, voice all airy and light whilst the man’s hand slides down to play with the edge of her dress. “wrong room baby, let’s go.” she says whilst pushing the man off her a bit, much to his dismay. 
they both leave the room, still attached to each other with their hands roaming and gripping at anything. to make matters even worse; they didn’t close the door behind them. 
“fucking whore.” you scoff, falling back down on your bed and groaning.  
im nayeon is an indescribable pain in your ass and unfortunately, she also happens to be your roommate. 
for the most part, you generally pride yourself on your composure and tolerance, but living with nayeon has truly put your patience to the test. she's irresponsible and unreliable, which regularly pushes you to your limits. you find yourself frustrated sharing an apartment with someone who’s always falling hort of your expectations. she's falling far from them, really, and it’s almost impressive. 
she has a knack for disappearing into the lurking in the apartment while you're away, often entertaining friends and leaving behind a mess in her wake. the audacity she possesses to neglect simple chores like doing the dishes or tidying up after herself borders on infuriating, you’re fighting the urge to bodyslam her into the mattress sometimes. it's as though she expects the cleaning fairy to magically swoop in and restore order while you're left to pick up the pieces of her irresponsibility, maybe she thinks you’re the fucking cleaning fairy. 
living with her was hell, you don’t even know how she managed to keep up with her courses and stay sane with how she lived her life. she was a pretentious, sassy little thorn stuck in your skin. 
but still, there are two things that keep you tethered to the apartment, even if it's a bit embarrassing to admit on factor. one: the rent is cheaper, and your shared living space is nice. two: nayeon’s fucking hot. 
the truth is: nayeon is the epitome of physical allure, the hottest person you've ever laid eyes on. as much as you resent her for her shortcomings, you find yourself unable to ignore the pull of her undeniable visuals, which whispers against the urge to pack your bags and leave.  
you despised the stupid allure of her face, the way her figure teased and tempted, and the fact that she held the power to have you on your knees if she poked you in the right ways. it grated on your nerves to know that you weren't the only one drawn to her; half the campus seemed to be either enamored with her, aspiring to be her, or eager to get into her pants. and she wielded her beauty like a weapon, using her "pretty privilege" to her advantage.  
the feeling you had towards her was bitter, but the attraction you had made things complicated. 
it was easy to mask your little attraction for your pretentious roommate with annoyed comments and irritated glares, but deep inside you wanted her in ways that you could never admit out loud. countless daydreams and very questionable thoughts about her invaded your mind at the worst times possible, espeically when she was near. 
your irritation mixed with attraction was mutual. nayeon felt the same way about you; what a match. 
at first, nayeon found herself irritated by your stuck-up demeanor and seemingly perfect self. your involvement in various extracurricular activities, dedication to your studies, and honestly majoring in computer science major as a whole contributed to her initial impression of you as someone who had it all together. it was a stark contrast to her own carefree attitude and laid-back approach to everything, which built friction between the two of you. 
(nayeon could never do all of that, study for hours and keep her shit together. and god, especially watching you type for two hours straight already made her head swirl. how does someone do that without losing their shit? she wonders if you’re okay) 
from nayeon's perspective, you were nothing more than a stuck-up bitch in her shared home, always fussing over cleanliness like a relentless clean freak. it striked a nerve every time you scolded her for leaving behind a couple of dishes or a few stray bottles of alcohol. if it bothered you so much, why not just pick up after yourself instead of constantly complaining? 
despite the irritation you stirred within her, nayeon couldn't deny the undeniable truth: you were actually pretty cute for a nerdy, uptight roommate. in fact, she'd even go as far as to admit that you were pretty hot. 
nayeon has seen the people in the computer science department, most of them are men who look like they’ve never spoken to a woman or gone outside for more than thirty minutes a day. you on the other hand were quite the sight, someone nayeon would describe as “eye candy.” 
and yeah, she kind of overlooked the fact that you were her type after you had yelled at her so much, but then there was this one little moment that changed her mind. maybe she could tolerate you more. 
(maybe nayeon had to put looks first in this case.) 
-- 
-- 
some thursday afternoon, while you typically would be found either buried in books at the library or enjoying the afternoon at a café, nayeon found herself in a predicament—she couldn't find one of her favorite t-shirts. with frustration growing, she decided to take matters into her own hands and went into your room to see if it had somehow ended up there, given that you were supposed to be out.  
to her surprise, she discovered that you were most definitely home, a fact that caught her completely off guard—especially when you’re home in your room, in the middle of taking your pants off. 
she barges into your room to see you with your shirt off and the fly of your pants down, revealing some of the logo of your victoria’s secret underwear. your cheeks flush a dark hue of red when you realize she’s invaded your privacy, and you quickly cover your chest—which, is already covered since you have a bra on, but god is this whole situation embarrassing.  
after you literally push her out the door—slamming it shut with embarrassment—nayeon stands outside the door with a newfound interest.  
nayeon couldn't fathom that someone who dedicated their sanity to lines of numbers and letters on a screen could look so good. there was something mesmerizing about the subtle groove tracing down your stomach, hinting at the definition of your abs, or the glimpse of your bicep as you hastily covered yourself and scolded her for intruding, maybe even the hint of muscle on your shoulders. whatever it was—all nayeon knew was that the little mishap of you not locking the door and giving her the chance see you like that piqued her interest without doubt. 
and after seeing you half naked? the image of you, with your shirt off and the hint of your physique tantalizingly on display? holy shit you had her fantasizing a little (a lot) more than she already had been; she needed some of her fantasies to come true.  
your roommate had already been attentive to your quick—and evident—glances on her body and her lips. she also noted the subtle bite of your lips when she swayed by, your eyes barely caught her, but she noticed it all. getting her fantasies to become a reality seemed easy enough—probably—and she was determined to make it all happen.  
she knew she already had you starting to wrap around her finger, just by those observations, so it should be easy enough to get you hot and heavy, right? 
“oh look who’s finally fucking awake.” you mutter, turning around to see the hungover, marked up woman emerging from the hall.  
nayeon rolls her eyes at you like always and simply responds, “oh shut up, don’t be a drag.” 
“i’m a drag? i’m not the one barging in at one in the morning the same night my roommate stays up to actually do their school shit. not only that, but that fucking guy—” 
“was a terrible kisser,” nayeon cuts you off, pinching the bridge of her nose. “i kicked him out so can you please just—” 
“no!” you scoff, surprising nayeon with this burst of anger. you’re much more irritated than usual, which is weird. nayeon suspects that it’s because she’s never accidentally stumbled into your room, and to be fair; this was kind of intentional.  
you see, nayeon thought that if she could make you a little jealous, it’d increase the chances of you intervening. just what she wanted. 
“i couldn’t fucking sleep and i have a really important assessment today.” 
“yeah yeah, move over i need some tea.” nayeon says tiredly. upon hearing her response, you clench your jaw tightly and lean against the marble counter, gripping it with one hand tightly to suppress your annoyance. 
your roommate looks at you and a laugh slips out accidentally. after hearing that, there's probably a vein visible on your forehead, maybe your neck—somewhere. 
that was your last straw. 
angrily, you lift yourself off the counter and swiftly advance towards nayeon, pinning her against the fridge with force. the impact reverberates through her as her back meets the cold surface, while you lean in closer, your eyes narrowing with intensity.  
now, this should not be turning nayeon on—she’s going to blame it on her hangover and whatnot, and maybe the fact that whoever that guy was and whatever he did didn’t really satitate her—but it does.  
with barely an inch of space separating you, your height advantage allows you to tilt your head down, locking eyes with nayeon with a glare. the tension crackles between you like a firework, it’s thick and palpable, your look shows restrained anger. despite how furious you look, there's an unexpected allure to you, drawing nayeon in even as she senses the little reprimanding you’ll give her. 
“don’t give me that fucking attitude nayeon. you’re fucking unbelievable, you’re a fucking slut, you know?” 
“yeah?” she says, a smirk tugging at her pretty, plump lips.  
you feel your body tense as soon as you start to take in the proximity of the two of you. gulping lightly, you move yourself away just an inch, but nayeon pauses you, pinching your collar. 
“oh don’t get so timid now, you were just fuming earlier pretty.” she laughs. “keep going. this is cute, i like this. what did you call me again?” 
as nayeon's eyes flicker from yours to your lips and back again, the tension between you is like pushing down on a spring, and it’s about to pop back up any moment. sensing an opportunity, nayeon skillfully navigates her way out of the looming scolding, her allure becoming a potent weapon against your mood. she begins to weave her charm, coaxing a reluctant softening in your expression. despite your initial anger, you find yourself drawn to her, you can’t let yourself slip up, not now, not when she’s the reason you might fail your assessment. 
“you’re— you’re so... fucking irritating…” you mumble the last part of your sentence, voice getting smaller. you push yourself away from her and shake your head, trying to conceal your blush. nayeon giggles before going back to making her tea, the tension in the air like an invisible weight pressing down on you, and this whole morning might just completely flatten you down from how distracting it’ll be the whole day. 
nayeon’s relieved, at least you’re not scolding her while she dips her chamomile bag in and out her little mug of hot water. 
the day is filled with the events of the morning, with you struggling to finish various lines of code because the feeling of nayeon toying with your collar lingers, and nayeon trying to force the thought of you finally snapping in her head. 
seems like the two of you are trying to avoid the same thought, despite how badly you two want it. 
it's palpable that there’s something in the air that needs to be swatted away, and nayeon knows you’re too much of a coward to really do anything about it, so she’ll figure somethign out.  
one thing about im nayeon: she always gets her way, no questions asked, no matter what it takes. 
nayeon finds you on the couch typing away later that night, probably doing some homework. 
nayeon plops down next to you, intending to tease and push you over the edge. you turn your head after feeling the cushions under you shift, immediately grimacing once you see your roommate. 
“what do you want?” 
“what, i can’t sit next to my roommate?” nayeon questions, “i’m just going to watch tv, if you don’t like it you can leave.”  
“whore.” you mutter under your breath, quiet enough so she doesn’t catch what you say.  
your roommate lounges lazily on the couch and rests her head against the armrest. as she reclined, her hair spilled over, framing her face like a halo. nayeon's gaze wandered lazily around the room before settling on the tv, and with a languid movement, she turned to lay fully, bending her legs so they didn't intrude into your personal space. 
your jaw tensed, a visceral reaction to the sight before you. the light from the tv in the dimmed room accentuated the allure of nayeon's figure. you couldn't help but steal a glance, your attention momentarily torn away from your screen by the annoyingly captivating vision in your periphery. 
casual sweatpants adorned her figure, the looseness of the bottoms from brandy allowing for comfort yet teasingly hinting at the eye-catching curves of her terribly alluring figure beneath. the fit of her tank top—cropped just enough to expose a sliver of her toned midriff—effortlessly made your gaze linger. the fabric clung to her silhouette in all the right places, revealing the subtle contours that sent a subtle jolt through the room and your veins. you completely forgot about pretending to be irritated in that brief trance. 
the tank top, snug against her skin, revealed a gentle dip of her collarbone, an enticing invitation that you took note of. the image staying in your head even as your attention returned to your screen. a flush settled on your cheeks as you tried to focus again. the ambiance of the room, however, remained penetrated with the downplayed sensuality that lingered in the air. you huff lowly. she's winning whatever game this is without even trying. 
after typing at your laptop for a bit, you hear the faint sound of people talking in the background. you look up from the screen and see some show playing, then turn to see nayeon’s head turned toward the tv.  
shaking your head, you redirect your attention back to the assignment in front of you; the task is quite easy, but it’s insanely tedious and for some strange reason nayeon’s presence isn’t helping you. 
nayeon shifts on the couch and sits upright against the cushion, you don’t bat an eye. your roommate is sick of you being academic, she’s bored and wants your attention. needs it, maybe. 
“when’s that due?”  
without turning your head, you respond, “next week.” 
“why do it now?” 
“why do you care?” your tone is impatient. “and besides, it’s better to get things done earlier.” 
“nerd.” nayeon sighs. she scoots over and peers at your screen, putting her hand down beside you to prop herself up and when she leans over, her boob smushes against your arm a little.  
you glare at her. “aren’t you usually out? it’s a friday night.” 
she shrugs. “didn’t feel like it.” and after she scans the screen one more time, she leans away (to your dismay) and continues on with whatever drama she had been watching.  
the thought of her boob being smushed against you lingers, embarassingly it’s almost tattooed in your mind for the next half an hour. 
when you finish your assignment, that’s when you let out a big, hefty breath and close your laptop.  
nayeon's annoyingly melodic giggle dances in the air as you sink into the plush couch, surrendering to its embrace that eases the pain in your shoulders. after savoring your few seconds of tranquility, your thoughts drift to the comfort awaiting you in your bedroom, your bed, peace and quiet, being enveloped by the blanket.  
as you start to stand up, a delicate yet firm grip clings to your forearm, delaying your departure. nayeon's touch, like a sirens call, invites you to linger, gently coaxing you to stay a little longer. 
she bats her eyelashes at you. “stay here.”  
you brows knit. “why would i stay with you?”  
“watching shows alone is boring, and i know your ass isn’t going anywhere tonight.” 
you groan in response and decide to give in—you might as well lounge on the couch for a bit—earning a smug smile from your roommate. she unpauses her show and you allow yourself to ease into the cushion, then watch with her (against your will), only to immediately tense up at the scene that unravels before your eyes. 
two girls appear on screen, and they’re kissing each other.  
they’re close, kissing, and then fifteen seconds pass and boom—they’re eating each other’s mouths sloppily, groaning and everything, tongue and all. you shift in your seat when you feel a weird pulse down at your core. 
“y/n,” nayeon starts, “have you ever even kissed someone?” 
“of course i have.” you respond, crossing your arms.  
nayeon turns her head in surprise and tilts her head. “seriously?” 
“yes, is it that surprising?” 
“well, you’re always cooped up in the house and whatnot… didn’t think you had any game.” 
“i hooked up with someone last month for your information. i'm not a homebody.” 
“yeah? sure, you did.” she laughs, shaking her head. you roll your eyes at her. 
“fuck you.” you mutter, keeping your eyes on the tv and watching the two girls undress each other. “do you always watch shit like this?” 
“why, does it turn you on or something?” nayeon asks, shifting closer to you. a lump forms in your throat. 
you shoot a quick glare at her and lie, “no.” 
nayeon laughs in amusement after pink dusts your cheeks. “you seem pretty flustered baby.” 
what the fuck? 
as you meet her gaze, a wave of surprise washes over you, mirroring the hunger that burns in her eyes. nayeon's laughter tumbles from her lips, enchanting and playful, as she places her hand delicately on the couch. leaning towards you, she ignites a spark that makes your heart skip a beat. feeling a sudden urge to be closer, you subtly shift in your seat, captivated by the exhilarating simplicity of the moment and giving into nayeon’s intentions. 
“i don’t believe you.” she says. 
“what?” 
“you’ve never kissed someone, hell, like you could even fuck someone.” 
“excuse me?” 
she just laughs at the mix of emotions coming from you; your cheeks are dusted pink, but your tone and expression displays that regular irritated look of yours. 
then she bites the corner of her lip, finally easing into the reason she even bothered you in the first place. she leans a little closer, lips hovering near your ear lobe, and giggles again. 
“how about you prove that you’ve fucked someone, hm?” nayeon suggests, raising her brows. “that you even can.” 
your breath trembles slightly, you’re stiff in your place. 
“if it’ll shut you up then... fine.” 
she clicks her tongue, then pulls away from your ear. now she’s looking at you with a shit eating grin, you want to wipe it off her face. 
the air stilled, your breath shook, and nayeon’s hand inches to your forearm. her other hand grabs the collar of your shirt, pulling you in and your lips meet in the middle. 
she tastes like cherry, well, her lip gloss does. 
your hand finds its way to the back of her neck, pushing her deeper into you so your lips can hungrily slide and suck and gosh, everything, all of the above, both a and c, you name it. 
the last thing you had on your mind for the friday night was kissing your roommate aggressively. initially, you were just going to finish the assignment and take a nap or something, but this? it’s much better than what you had planned originally. 
nayeon practically takes your breath away after simply kissing you, just the way your lips lock makes you greedy. you groan accidentally, embarassed until you have nayeon groaning into you too, even louder for that matter. 
you pull away for a brief moment, voice a little shaky and out of breath. “is this why you bothered me? are you that horny that you wanted me to fuck you?” 
“oh shut up, it’s not like you’re against it.” nayeon’s right, you’re not. not in the slightest. 
“fuck you” is uttered from your lips before you crash your lips against her again, taking the air from her lungs again. 
the kissing quickly escalates and your tongues are in each other’s mouths. you’re both unashamedly moaning and groaning into each other carelessly, it’s funny how quickly everything escalated within seconds, the boundaries between whatever you two had dissolved like sugar in boiling water. you shift yourselves over so that nayeon is under you, both your knees on either side of her legs. you reach over for the remote to pause the two girls who were mirroring the two of you—well, the two of you started going at it after they did so maybe it was the two of you mirroring them. 
each subsequent kiss felt as electrifying as the crackle of sparks dancing in a bonfire. the more nayeon deepened the kiss the more it drove you crazy, irrationally enough to continue kissing her and slip your hands under her shirt. 
nayeon sighs blissfully as you kiss down her neck, her fingers tangle with your hair while she claws at it aggressively, and still, the pain from her grabbing your hair only turns you on more. 
“fuck,” she groans when you suck on her neck, sinking her nails into your tricep. 
“slut.” you mutter, smirking against her. “so easy to rile up.” 
unashamedly, nayeon begs and begs for you until you’re biting down on her skin, repeatedly uttering your name until you’re leaving marks that’ll have her friends wondering who ruined her this time—and this time, it’s not some person she’s run into at the bar while tipsy. 
still, she could get drunk just off of you. 
you start to undress her, starting with her top and taking a moment to gaze at her undeniably alluring figure. strands of hair just barely stick to her forehead as she gazes at you breathlessly with eyes full of lust. she moves her slender fingers to work at the edge of your shirt, urging you to take that stupid t-shirt you have on off so she can get a sight of your surprisingly exciting figure. maybe she’ll get a better, longer view of what she had seen that night she walked in on you changing. 
“fuck, why have you been hiding this?” she mutters, sliding her hand down your side. “god you fucking bitch.” 
“if i didn’t you’d be all over me, you fucking horny mess.” you spit back harshly, but the way you moan when nayeon latches her lips onto your neck completely rids of that fake, irritated tone of yours.  
nayeon ends up on top of you in a matter of seconds, thenyou’re groping her ass shamelessly as you two devour each other’s mouths again. hands tug at whatever else covers your bodies until it’s just the two of you skin to skin. everything that had just happened in the span of ten minutes was for sure ten times better than whatever else had been going on in the movie. 
you can feel her grinding desperately against your thigh as you kiss her, feeling the moisture from her needy cunt that dampens your once-dry upper leg. you palm her breasts blindly and feel her gasp against you, and then nayeon forgets how to breath when you press your thigh up and against her, adding more stimulus. 
she moans frustratedly, the feeling of just your thigh against her throbbing pussy is far from what she needs. so, she’s putting her hand on the middle of your chest and pushing you down to lay flat on your back. she bites her lip blatantly before lifting her hips away from your skin. 
you furrow your brows in confusion and begin, “what are you—” 
“shut up,” she grunts, shoving one hand in your head and gripping your hair so rough that you whimper. she shifts over so that her pussy is directly above your mouth and orders: “just eat, bitch.” 
this is something you can’t argue with her about, and fuck you’re hungry.  
there’s a meal waiting for you that you’ve been craving, you can’t just lay there and starve. 
eagerly, you lift your head up a bit to meet the aching in between her legs; she’s so wet and you’re definitely teasing her about this later—but who knows how long it will take until it’s later. 
she moans louder than ever and it surprises the both of you, it only leaves you wanting more of her, wanting to hear her when she’s at her limit. your nails sink into the flesh of her thigh as you devour ravenously, taking note of what makes her twitch more and what earns lewder noises. what earns noises that turn you on more than ever. 
it doesn’t surprise you how shameless she is during sex—clearly, she isn’t ashamed of seducing her roommate—the way she rides your face so desperately gives you enough to know how she is. 
nayeon likes when you suck on her clit, she grips your hair tighter with each “pop” sound that’s made after you release the suction. she’s easy to read, her cunt is easy to adjust to. 
“fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,” nayeon moans, leaning back little while she continues to ride, head tilted back and face almost parallel to the ceiling. “god-- fuck, oh my—shit, keep going,” 
you can see her tits from your view, nipples all perked up while you grip onto her thighs tighter, feeling her shake in your grasp.  
nayeon's like an alarm clock, ticking and ticking away until the alarm rings, her cry echoing through the room, hand gripping at your hair tighter than ever as her head falls back. you continue to savor her arousal even after she came, earning little whines and whispers of your name. 
“oh, y/n, just like that...”  
you're doing all the work now, which only helps with your aversion towards her, but still, you’ve made her moan, cry—all of the above, so at least there’s something to use against her. 
and then she lifts herself off of you, letting your head rest back against the seat of the couch so you can catch your breath.  
when she looks down, all she can make out through fuzzy vision and overwhelmed senses is the puff of your lips, hooded eyes, and fucked up hair; everything about the sight of you is a product of her desires, a fantasy that’s been lingering in her mind now come true. 
“slut,” you mutter, almost breathlessly. “you’re really loud, you know.”  
“fuck you.” 
“already did.” you retort, giggling. “let’s go for another.” 
“oh so now look who’s a horny mess.” nayeon responds, moving over to sit on your lap. 
you sit up, holding yourself up with your hands placed behind you. “you just never shut up, do you?” 
nayeon smiles before tracing her finger along your skin. “do you me want to?” 
you look at her amusingly before shifting positions so she’s laying down flat on her back, with you hovering above. the two of you kiss again, nayeon savoring a the traces of arousal off you, a muffled hum of delight vibrating against your locked lips. 
she pulls away, thumbing your nipple and making you groan surprisingly. you pull away to glare at her. 
nayeon laughs, “wow, you’re so--” 
you cut her off by shoving your ring and middle finger in her mouth, she almost gags, but the way she sucks obediently is enough to tell you that she’s enjoying this. 
“you just never shut up,”  
in response, she moans with your fingers still in your mouth, right before you pull them out, skin coated with her saliva. 
you bring your fingers down to her cunt, teasing her folds. 
“let’s change that.” 
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thesassypadawan · 4 months
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Relaxing (Hayden x FemReader)
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Summary: Hayden’s been working out hard to get that Daddy Vader bod once more and boy does it show!  You just want to help him ‘relax’ after a long day of bulking up and what better way than a nice, steamy, hot shower.
Warnings: 18+ (minors dni), because there sooo much of the smut.  Size difference, shower sex, and Hayden’s big dick.
Notes: Thank you so much to everyone who enjoyed my first Hayden fic, Puck Slut!  Again, I would love to know what you all thought of this...if you would possibly like to see more Hayden fics!!! Also, this pic got me going feral af!
- You know Hayden has been working out hard, bulking himself up to fill out that Vader suit again, and you want to help him ‘relax’. So, when you hear the shower turn on, you decide just how you’re going to do it.
- Quickly stripping down, you slip inside the steamy bathroom. Quietly approaching the steamed up glass door, you knock softly. “Hay,” you call his name sweetly.
- “Yeah, angel? Did you need…” He begins to say, but trails off when he opens the door and sees you standing there in all your naked glory.
- “Room for one more?” You ask cutely, trying to act all innocent.
- A sly smile crosses his handsome face. “Always.” And he effortlessly tugs you inside. A small squeak escapes you.
- Wrapping his strong arms around your waist, he pulls you under the warm spray of water. Lips pressing to yours in a sensual kiss. “Well, this certainly is a nice surprise.”
- Kissing him back just as passionately, you giggle mischievously against his lips. “Oh, this is only the beginning.”
- You place your hands on his toned chest and gently back him against the wall. Pausing a moment, you take him all in. His shoulders have broadened. Neck has thickened, along with his middle. Arms now heavy with bulging muscles. His v-line is more defined. And his cock…
- “What is it, baby?” Hay chuckles, breaking you out of your trance.
- You can’t help but bite your lip. “You’re just so damn sexy.”
- Trailing your hands down his body, you drop to your knees. Gazing up at him, you press a tender kiss to his tip. “Since you’ve been working out so hard…I was thinking I could maybe help you ‘relax’ a little.”
- Lazily lapping at his impressive length, making your big man shiver. You reach up and give his firm ass a hard squeeze. “Sound good?”
- “Yes,” he mutters breathlessly. Large hands tangling in your hair. Fat head brushing your lips, asking for entry into your mouth.
- Happily, you take his tip in; slowly sucking, his hips buck forward. Your hands massage and play with his heavy balls.
- You slide his colossal cock in as deep as possible, using your hand to pump the rest. Trying your best not to gag as you move your head back and forth.
- “Such a tease,” Hayden groans. Thrusting further in; hitting the back of your throat, tears prickle the corners of your eyes. Oh, how you love the pleasant burn.
- Just as you think he’s nearing his end, he pulls out. A string of saliva still connecting your lips to his head.
- Pulling you back up onto your feet, you give him a confused look. “There’s more than one way you can help me ‘relax’,” he whispers in your ear as he leans down.
- Hay easily whirls your around, pressing your front to the shower wall. Laying soft kisses up your spin, his hands groping your breasts. Pinching your pert nipples.
- Moaning, you arch you back into him. He wraps an arm around your waist and gives you a gentle tug. “On your tip toes, angel.”
- You give him an eager nod and, despite doing as he says, Hayden still has to bend slightly to line himself up with your entrance. Such a big boy.
- Pushing his hips forward, he slides his throbbing cock inside of you. A groan escaping him. “So tight.” You flutter around him, making him do it once more.
- You brace yourself against the wall as he begins to pound into your pussy. His face buried in your neck, nipping and biting at the sensitive skin. All the while whispering how well you’re taking him; how good you’re gripping his cock.
- You feel your peak fast approaching as he hits your cervix over and over. The thought of him bruising it makes you whimper, your whole body tensing up. “Haaay, I’m gonna… I’m gonna…”
- “Me too,” he growls. Slamming hard into you one last time, you both cry out. You gush all over his cock, he paints your walls white with his cum.
- Easing you back down onto your feet, he pulls you back against his chest. Resting his head on top of yours; he wraps his arms around you, swallowing up your entire form.
- Giggling, you press a kiss to the bottom of his jaw. “Relaxing, huh?”
- “Very,” Hayden chuckles. “Think I’ll add it my post workout routine.”
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baekuras · 2 years
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trying 1 round of workout and failing so confidence is ruined
vs going into round 2 now more warmed up and doing everything better than noted
I....am unsure about my bodily limits now
I am sure however that I do need more water unless I want to feel rly sick
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rinhaler · 5 months
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drinking toji's spit out of a dog bowl isn't gross it's HOT AF
if you are ever willing to elaborate on that I'd happily read it and rb the shit out of it 😌😌
++ 𝐫𝟎𝐬𝐞𝐬𝟒𝐧𝐝𝐥𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐬𝐤𝐞𝐝: 𝐈 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐢 𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐝 𝐢 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐠𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐧 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐛𝐮𝐭….. 𝐈𝐌𝐀𝐆𝐈𝐍𝐄 𝐓𝐎𝐉𝐈 𝐆𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐀 𝐂𝐎𝐋𝐋𝐀𝐑 𝐎𝐌𝐆𝐆𝐆𝐆𝐆𝐆𝐆𝐆𝐆𝐆𝐆𝐆 🤤🤤🤤🤤
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doubling up again bc they go hand in hand methinks. ALSO I do have another fic planned with the collar concept in mind but when I write that is unknown so.. whomp
warnings: 18+ MDNI, fem!reader, pet play, age gap, calls the reader 'puppy', use of 'puppy cunt', spit, slight nipple play, daddy kink, fingering, squirting, lewd fluid drinking!
words: .5k
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Toji isn’t a jealous man, though he is insecure. He’s older than you by a fair amount, though that’s never been an issue for you. It’s part of what drew you to him, in fact. But it’s a sore spot at times when he sees you mingling with men your own age.
He likes to think he fucks too perfectly for you to want to leave him.
But he likes to remind you who you belong to.
You remember when he first got you the collar. He rarely lets you take it off. Only when have to go somewhere you need to dress in formal attire. He hates it when you wear it and still try to cover it up with a scarf or a turtleneck.
The point of the collar is to that everyone knows who you belong to.
You remember your blood turning to ice in your veins when he dropped a pretty pink dog bowl at your feet with a malicious smirk on his face. You yelped as he connected a leash to your collar and yanked you down to your knees.
He had you on all fours like a dog, cock hardening as you looked up at him looking oh so frightened. You couldn’t forget who owns you, not after this.
Your eyes widened in horror as he spat down into the bowl again and again and again.
“Go on, lick it up.” he demanded. The longer you took to obey, the more fury began to build behind his stare. He softened again as you began to lick at his spit, slurping it up and doing all you could to make sure you cleaned the plastic bowl. “Good puppy,” he chuckled, spitting more and more.
He didn’t care where it landed, not really. You looked just as pretty with his spit bubbling on your face as you did licking it like a desperate slut from a bowl.
Truthfully, he was surprised that you had obeyed so quickly. Maybe he was feeling insecure for no reason at all. But that couldn’t be, could it? He couldn’t be imagining a feeling that needn’t be there.
Nevertheless, he saw it fit to reward you for your obedience.
You couldn’t deny how your cunt clenched and squelched so wonderfully as he fingered you vigorously. You hummed and cooed so gorgeously for him as he toyed with your sensitive nipples and curled the heavy pads of his fingers against your sweet spot.
“You like it when daddy stuffs this puppy cunt, yeah?” he smiled, kissing softly against your cheek as he continued working your insides. “Y’look so pretty all fucked out f’me, sweetheart. Cum for me, puppy, make a mess for your daddy.”
You orgasmed boisterously, a jet of liquid spurting out of you. It coated your inner thighs and his fingers, droplets splashed onto the tile floor of the kitchen. Though Toji’s smile only grew as he achieved his aim of making the majority of your release fill the bowl.
He forced you back down onto your hands and knees, your hair tightly laced through his fingers as he forced your face entirely into the bowl.
“Messy little pup,” he cooed, “You know what to do. And remember, pretty puppies don't use their hands.”
You began to drink and slurp the clear, pooling liquid, cunt tightening at the sound of your masters satisfied hum.
He’s confident, now.
He owns you, completely.
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© 2023 rinhaler
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p.s. thank u @chososdoll for letting me use ur dream as inspo :3
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ebbaskz · 6 months
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an 'accident' | c.bc x reader (s, f)
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masterlist | series masterlist
pairing : skz!chan x reader (y/n)
content : 18+, kinda exhibitionism? i mean someone else is in the house, dry humping/grinding over the clothes, kinda vivid depictions but not really, needy chan, meeting the parents af, finishing in pants
wc : 858
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Chan had been nothing but antsy all night. You were nervous to meet his parents, but you figured that if they were anything like the kid they raised then you would be set for a nice conversational dinner. As you arrive at his parents’ home, he clumsily gets out of the car to hurry and open the door for you, leading you inside with a sweaty, shaky hand.
“Channie,” you call out to him soothingly, “It’ll be fine stop worrying.”
“I know, baby. I’m just so nervous for no reason,” he says with a sigh.
You give him a reassuring squeeze to his hand as the door swings open, revealing his smiling parents.
The introductions go well, but his mother says that dinner won’t be ready for another 30 minutes, redirecting you and Chan upstairs to show you around to kill some time. The walk around the house brings you to his childhood bedroom, letting you wander around, admiring the pictures and posters, while Chan takes a seat on the edge of his bed, patting down his hands on his paints to dry the sweat coating his palms.
You take your time venturing and then take a seat next to him on the bed, resting your head up against his shoulder.
Chan takes ahold of your hand, resting it on his knee. You want to relieve this tension and stress, reaching your hand up to the side of his face. The readjustment of your positions allows for you to leave a gentle kiss on his lips.
He visibly releases the tension of his shoulders, but he still feels like he needs more from you, reaching a hand up to the nape of your neck to keep you attached to him.
You appeal to his wants, deepening the kiss and allowing him to lead you into laying down on the bed with him atop you.
You really did think this was an innocent stress-relieving kiss until you felt Chan start to grind himself against you, making your empty cunt clench at the feeling of his bulge against your core.
Sighs are released out of his mouth, breaking the kiss to lower his head to your neck with a trail of open-mouthed kisses trailing along the way. His movements become more heavy, pushing himself into as if he was truly fucking you instead of your current predicament.
Speaking of, the reality of the situation really kicks in for you, remembering that his parents are less than 100 feet away and you are in the bed of baby Chan. This clearly does not appear as an issue or even a thought for Chan who just continues to lightly sigh and groan in your ear.
You figure there's no harm in taking it any further as there is still time to spare, but your hand is halted as you travel it down to the zipper of his jeans. Chan grabs your wrist with one of his hands, leaving himself supported above you with the other. He's moving frantically at this point, shocking you as you have never seen him get this into some foreplay.
The ultimate shock comes from the shudder that shoots through his body, slowing his grinds and leaving you with an ear full of incoherent mumbles of apologies. You realize whats happened in the moment as you look down to see a wet patch on the front section of his pants.
"Holy shit," you mumble out, "you just... in your pants?"
He buries his face into your neck, trying to hide himself from the pure embarrassment of the situation. "It was an accident, I'm sorry. I didn't- I mean I did know it was coming, but I just couldn't hold it any longer," he mumbled out with a slight whine of embarrassment.
"Don't worry, baby. It was actually really hot," you say adoringly in his ear.
The last comment makes him shoot up out of the crook of your neck with an eyebrow raised, "HOT??? Y/n that was embarrassing, don't even try to make me feel better about that-"
His words are cut off as you drag his hand down to between your legs, past the flows of your dress onto the fabric covering your cunt, which is soaked from watching him lose himself over you like this.
His eyes widen, and you see the cogs turning in his head, debating if you have time to further satisfy your needs after his were met. The thought is sadly broken by a call from downstairs, specifically the voice of his mother, summoning both of you for dinner.
Chan sighs in disappointment, leaving a kiss on your forehead before standing up awkwardly as he feels the remnants of his orgasm coated in his boxers.
"I'm going to hit up the bathroom before I go down, but don't wait for me," he says while opening the door and heading out of it before pausing.
"I'll make this up to you later when we get home, baby, yeah? I promise I will make this worth leaving you high and dry, a night all for you, okay?"
You are definitely on board for that.
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a/n : hi hi! i am very excited to write a few of these because this is very self-indulgent. i love me some downbad desperate men :) ill try to get out one a day so ill be done in a week hopefully. as always, requests are appreciated and asks are open. ily all! - eb
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bubblegumspacebxtch · 2 years
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Primal Urges
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Pairing: Aemond Targaryen x Female Reader
Word Count: 1.5K
Summary: Aemond is horny af so he decides to wake you up with orgasms
Warnings || 18+ smut, minors DNI, oral (f receiving), fingering (f receiving), dirty talk, pussy smacking (is that what it's called?), praise kink, a bit of degradation, unprotected sex (duh), multiple orgasms, squirting, a bit of overstimulation, creampie, somnophilia, breeding, spitting (yeah I'm nasty so what)
A/N: l imagine newlywed Aemond would be absolutely insatiable like I'm talking all day everyday ya'll are fucking. He sees you and he's like damn lemme go down on my wife real quick so of course I had to write about it lol also those in bold and italics are flashbacks
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The prince stretched his legs before letting in a lengthy inhale. His one eye fluttered open and it was greeted by the morning sun’s rays. Shifting a bit on his bed, he comes to face your naked back. A little grin makes its way across Aemond’s face as it dawns on him that both you two were still completely bare.
The memories of last night are instantaneous and he swears his skin starts itching to be against yours. He scoots toward you in order to drape an arm across your midsection, effectively bringing you flush against his chest. You were a heavy sleeper at least compared to him. Then again the pair of you did not stop making love until both were spent.
Your husband had you shaking beneath him, crying that you could not longer give him another, but Aemond knew better. He took from you countless orgasms, each more intense than the last.
As he continued to reminisce, you turned in your sleep to lie on your back. Aemond’s smile only grew as he was granted a view of your sleeping face.
“Good morning, my dear wife.”
He only received your soft snores in response. A gentle kiss was placed on your shoulder before his gaze wandered to the rest of you.
With your chest in constant motion as you breathed, Aemond felt a shudder run through him seeing your ample breasts littered with his marks. They’re red now but soon they will turn purple. He finds himself getting excited at the thought of you looking at your body covered in reminders of his kisses, how he was a passionate lover always eager to make a mess of you in bed.
Aemond was getting hard again remembering how sensitive you had been the night before. You screamed as he tortured your little clit. His smug smirk making an appearance as he relished in the memory.
“A-Aemond! Fuck… p-please…”
“Please what my little wife, tell me what you want.”
A groan went past his lips at the sight of your face, all fucked out and teary as you neared your fourth orgasm. The lewd sound of your wetness was maddening as he held the hood of your clit up to expose you even more before using the other to smack against the puffy button. He felt you clench even harder on him and the prince couldn’t help but want your lips on his again.
He moves his hand to tug on the covers, exposing your entire being to his lustful gaze. He presses another kiss, this time to your cheek and not a single reaction from you.
Aemond moves to hover over you, nothing but filthy intentions brewing in his mind. Butterfly kisses are made to your exposed chest before he paws at your breast, giving one a squeeze.
He continues down your sternum, succumbing to the urge to lick your skin. As the prince trails lower, he takes your thighs in each hand to spread you open.
The center of you was already wet and still swollen from his ravenous tongue and cock. A last kiss to each side of your hips was made before he used his thumb to spread your lips.
“Gods, you’re perfect…”
His thumb ran from your hole to your button, gathering the wetness there before popping his digit into his mouth for a taste. He stared at your little opening as he did so, moaning as longed to have that tiny hole stretch around him and milk his cock for all its worth.
Aemond lowered himself further, eager to bury himself in your heat. He looked up at you, still in deep slumber before leaving even more bruising kisses to your inner thighs.
“Hmmm… how pretty this cunt is and it’s all mine.”
The long tongue of the prince ran across your slit and his groan traveled around the room. He couldn’t get enough of you, burying his nose in the small patch of hair in your mound. Soon, puckered lips enclosed around your clit, and Aemond chuckled as more wetness seeped out of you and unto his awaiting mouth.
As he continued eating you like a man possessed, you let out a subtle whine despite still being unaware of your husband’s antics. His gaze was quick to snap to your face, waiting for your hazel eyes to look upon him.
One particularly harsh suck had his teeth grazing your sensitive bundle. The sensation had you jolting awake that Aemond had to tighten his hold on your thighs to keep you spread out.
“W-What? Aemond? Oh Gods!”
Your nimble fingers latched on to his hair and the prince watched amused as your back arched. Your moans soon filled the room as Aemond slid in two of his fingers in your weeping cunt.
“Gods, you’ll be the death of me, Y/N. My beautiful little temptress of a wife. Do you enjoy waking up to your husband’s mouth on you?”
At the lack of an answer from you, Aemond raised his hand only to bring it back down to smack your button. You cried at the feeling and the prince could only smirk at the mess he’s made of you once again.
“F-Fuck yes! I love my husband’s mouth.”
A surge of pride rushes through him as you whine and clench around his fingers. He can feel that your release is close so he resumes abusing your engorged clit with his mouth.
"Yes! My prince, I-I'm gonna..."
As you uttered those words, Aemond was quick to press on your lower abdomen. You thrashed at the pressure, crying your husband's name as you came, gushing into his eager mouth. Your climax was intense and Aemond couldn't help but moan as your release soaked his chin and your other hole as well.
You struggled to catch your breath and knowing Aemond, he gave very little respite in between orgasms so he was crawling to face you in no time. Taking a hold of his cock, he ran the fat tip along your slit, intentionally bullying your bundle. His lips met your before sliding in and stopping only when the base of him was rooted in you.
The prince wasted no time as his hips kept driving back into you. Your legs, on instinct, wrapped around his waist as you pulled him closer to wrap your arms around him for support.
"What a whore my wife is for my cock. I want you filled to the brim with my seed until your pretty little cunt can't take anymore."
He leans down to spit unto where you are connected, adding to the wetness he uses to swipe at your clit. You cry out louder, half the kingdom is guaranteed to have heard you by now.
"I love you... I-I love you! Please..."
Your admission only makes the prince fuck you harder, hitting a spot deep within you. Your toes have curled and the tears that brim your eyes give Aemond the sick satisfaction of knowing that in this moment, no thoughts, but of him and his cock, occupy your mind.
Your release is overwhelming and the clench of your cunt had Aemond cumming mere seconds after you. Warmth spread across you as his spend filled your womb.
Fighting the sensitivity, the prince thrusted into you a few more times to fuck his seed into you. This had you mewling, but Aemond silenced you with a kiss.
Your husband moved to lay beside you, but kept you close so as to keep him inside you. You shuddered as your husband kept you plugged up, passing thoughts of you of being with child soon at the forefront of your mind.
"Good morning, my dear wife. Did you have a pleasant sleep?"
The prince broke the momentary silence with a smug smirk on display as he teased you. You rolled your eyes at his behavior but you couldn't fight off the smile widely etched on your face.
"I cannot keep up with you, Aemond. My legs are shaky and numb... Again!"
The prince chuckled as he was reprimanded and you only huffed as you buried your face into his neck. You felt a soft kiss being placed on your cheek as you were pulled even closer for the prince to brush your hair away from your face.
"Am I to blame for how irresistible you are and how no man, especially not your husband, can keep his urges in line when you are around?"
"Aemond, your family will soon start to detest us if we keep at this. We're always late to occasions and meals because you insist on having me right when we are about to leave. The servants can't even look us in the eye anymore! They're embarrassed having seen us fucking everywhere."
You pinch the pale skin of his arm but he only laughs at you, clearly amused at your embarrassment.
"You must bear my children soon then, my love."
"Why? Will you have me less when I am with child?"
"No, but at least you'll be in bed more, so no one has to see me buried in your tight cunt around the castle grounds anymore."
"Aemond!"
"I am only teasing my beloved Y/N. Get some rest. I might have you crying on my cock again in a little while."
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rosegasly · 9 months
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Lavender Haze.
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⇢ summary: “I like your stupid face. It’s so stupid. It’s so… I like it. Can I touch it?”  ⇢ genre: tipsy & risqué  ⇢ pairing: max verstappen x best friend reader ⇢ a/n: taylor inspires all my titles i'm a basic bitch like that
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You should know by now that you are terrible with alcohol after one too many puking sessions and horrible hangovers. Still, when Max—your reigning best friend, now world champion—crossed the checkered flag in Abu Dhabi, there was no other way the night was going to end. 
 Feeling the burn of bile creep up your throat again, you push forward on your knees, clutching the cold porcelain of the toilet bowl with all your might as you throw up what feels like days worth of food. 
 The cool touch of said best friend’s hand rubbing soothing circles across your back is as much a relief against your scorching hot skin as a knife moulded with thick, unadulterated guilt that is digging into the gaps of your rib the longer you are awake and thinking. His other hand busy holding your hair back over your head. While your thoughts aren’t entirely coherent, the fact that you are ruining what is probably Max’s best night yet isn’t exactly lost on you either. 
Tears sting your eyes as your stomach finally settles, only a hollow sinking feeling where there was once turbulence, and you can’t decipher if it’s the lack of food or the drunk realisation of what a shitty friend you make at the moment. 
 “i am sorry,” the apology comes out meek, liquid pooling into your eyes and blurring your vision. 
 “Schatje,” his voice is every bit the affection, love and exasperation that you don’t deserve and you tuck your face away between the protective curl of your arms over the toilet bowl. If you were a little less drunk, maybe you’d be disgusted, but all you want to do right now is hide away so you can’t see the forgiveness swimming in his gaze. 
 “You trying to hide the running mascara? Come on, you know you can do worse,” Max teases and the sound coming out of you is equal parts sob and snort. 
 Strong arms curl across your chest, resting slightly above your breasts and your heart goes into overdrive as you sit there torn between feeling grounded by his presence and your stupid crush rearing its head again to mess with you. “You gonna come out of the toilet bowl anytime soon?” 
 His breath tickles the shell of your ear as his chin finds home on the curve where your neck meets your shoulder and you can’t hold back the shiver that races through you at the warm sensation. 
 With a firm tug he pulls you back, your head lolling to the side of his chest and burying itself in his warmth and safety. 
 “Come on, let’s get you cleaned up.” 
 Another steady pull and he has you on your feet, guiding you to the sink nearby. The angle of your neck turns awkward as you wrap your arms around his waist, face still nuzzled against his signature white tee secured tight between the clench of your fingers. 
 Touch as gentle as it can be, he holds your chin, tilting your face towards the basin and you wordlessly turn the tap on. You are half tempted to drink the water but stop yourself from following through on that urge, gargling and washing the acidity from your mouth instead. 
 The angel of a man you blessedly call your best friend drags your ass out, giving you bottled water which you finally gulp down like the parched woman you are. Sated and no longer reeking of bile, you nuzzle back into Max’s chest, half-formed apologies spilling from you in an endless stream. 
 He keeps quiet, allowing you time to let things off your chest. After years of being there through the others most vulnerable, he knows you better than he does himself and as much as the sight of your pink, blotchy cheeks and drunken apologies makes his chest tight, he realises how much you need it. The weight of unsaid words always weighs heavy on your shoulders, and he has never cut you off when you open up. Instead, choosing to console and talk through those thoughts after. 
 What seems like hours, but is probably only minutes later you finally bring yourself to move away from his chest, the death grip you had on his shirt loosening enough to allow you to look up. 
 In the club’s dim lighting, out of focus, eye to eye, crystal blue spilling into the dark of your eyes, your grip on reality slips a little more. 
 “I like your stupid face. It’s so stupid. It’s so… I like it. Can I touch it?”
 Dark lashes shutter your view of the endless blue as Max blinks, a little taken aback before a smile breaks out. Rosey lips and pinker cheeks and the faint dusting of freckles over the bridge of his nose and high of his cheeks. It’s him. With every breath, you breathe him. Amidst all the cigarette smoke and stale of old carpet under your foot and the sweat in the air; all you register now is him. Max. Your best friend. The one person you would give up everything for, knowing he would do the same. 
 “Go ahead. Touch me.” You can’t tell if his voice has gone lower, deeper, or if you have just pressed yourself too close to him. The vibrations from his chest travelling to you through yours from where they are against each other, not a hair’s breadth of space in between as you near. The lines between close and too close blurring in your inebriated state of mind. 
 The last thing you see before your eyes fall shut is the blue of his. Cerulean and crystal, the faintest blue in the light, edges coloured a dark green in the shadows and its endless. Their depth, his gaze, the twin pounding of both your hearts, the heavy breaths and the sweat from the humid club over your skins. 
 His lips are every bit as soft as you had imagined them to be. Sweet like your most beloved candy, light as a feather as they brush against you. Hesitant, then sure. Worried for what could be lost but realising what could be gained. Gentle, then a little more forceful as your back slams against the wall and you groan. 
 It’s relief. It’s desperation. The way you have starved to touch him, have him feel you. Breathe in his exhales; let them become one in you to make them yours. Kissing him to mark him yours, having him in your arms and knowing you could never let go. 
 He grinds into you and it’s dirty and messy, more the high of your hip bones and the thick of his jeans than anything else, but his fingers still dig into the curve of your waist almost painfully. His ragged breath making you shiver when his nose grazes your skin and you hear more so than feel him inhale your scent. 
 He bites your lip and licks it better. You tug his hair, then caress his face. 
 It’s sexual and innocent and when its finally too much and you can no longer hold your collective breaths, you smile instead. Your lips curled into a smile over his grin and it’s suddenly okay. Everything the night has been and every sleepless night that you two have spent tormented over unreciprocated feelings leading up to it. 
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cobragardens · 8 months
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CORRECTED & UPDATED! Clothes + Equivocation = Romance:
The Husbands in 1793
EDIT: I made a significant error when I wrote this. As @goodjomans kindly points out in the comments to Part 2 of this essay (massive shoutout for this, goodjomans! also I love your name!), Aziraphale is the one who dresses the executioner in clothing like Aziraphale's original ensemble, not Crowley. This changes my conclusions about the meaning we can take from this scene!
On the one hand, mea culpa, y'all. I shall get on with eating my crow. On the other hand, I had to go through this frame-by-frame to catch which of the ineffable spouses puts Jean-Claude in his new togs, and the answer only lasts three frames. Here it is:
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After Aziraphale changes his clothes, but before Crowley snaps his fingers and unfreezes time, there's a shot of the executioner over Crowley's shoulder, and he is now wearing a light coat with gold embroidery on the shoulders like Aziraphale's. Aziraphale arranges the executioner's death, not Crowley. So I feel like an idiot for missing it, but not a total idiot.
Let's discuss how this information changes what we can read from this scene! I'm going to leave my original text in place and edit with bold green. I can still stand by most of this essay, but this detail changes how I read the meaning of the husbands' communication at the end of this scene.
So we're all clear on the fact that the universe of Good Omens is an inescapable nightmare dystopia in which either of the husbands' merciless authoritarian regimes could be watching or listening to them at any time, yes? And that if either are caught 'fraternizing' with the other that means discorporation, torture, memory wipe, and/or death for either or both of them, yes?
Which means Crowley and Aziraphale can never speak or do anything openly to each other about their friendship or attraction or love. Everything they say and do has to have an innocuous meaning they can point to in case anybody ever sees or hears something Team Azcrow can't explain away. Walls (and ducks) have ears, and the price of slipping up--as we see in 1827--is heavy.
When a character says or does something that has two distinct meanings because they need to disguise what they really mean from one party but make their meaning plain to another, lit-nerds (and lit nerds🍃) call this equivocation. Equivocation is a kind of coded communication meant to pass hostile ears and eyes in plain sight but reach its intended recipient with its true meaning. The 1793 scene is jammed with it.
A lot of that coded messaging revolves around the clothes Crowley and Aziraphale choose in this scene, so--THESIS PARAGRAPH, BITCHES--we're going going to talk about how their clothes read to the people of this time period and location, what their clothes tell us about their characters, how their clothes help them equivocate, and what they're really saying with that equivocation. And Spoiler A-fucking-lert, it is ROMANTIC AF PRETTY GD ROMANTIC. Let's get nerdy!
We start with Aziraphale's beautiful champagne-gold and powder-pink ensemble.
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This outfit would tell people of this time period 3 things about Aziraphale:
That he's insanely wealthy--These clothes would be silk, hand-embroidered with thread made with actual gold. Each individual garment could cost years' or even decades' worth of working-class wages and take a team of skilled artisans dozens to hundreds of hours to make.
That he's a fop--i.e., a man who loves fine clothes and dressing up and looking fancy. By the 1790s in England, once-fashionable foppishness was giving way to the Neoclassical 'Corinthian' style, and was considered effete. (Fun note: During this time period, effete did not automatically indicate gay, and pink was considered a masculine color, so while Az. is queering it up to the audience here, his clothes would not have read as gay or overtly effeminate to the other characters around him.)
Even though he's insanely wealthy, Aziraphale wears clothes that are decades out of fashion.
According to the Victoria & Albert Museum, "As the [18th] century progressed, the male silhouette slowly changed.[...] Coat skirts gradually became less full and the front was cut in a curved line towards the back. Waistcoats became shorter. The upper leg began to show more and more[...]. Shoes became low-heeled with pointed toes and were fastened with a detachable buckle and straps or ribbon[.]
Source
That description is not what Aziraphale's wearing. Judging by his heel height and the length of his waistcoat, Aziraphale is wearing a style that's at least a decade older than this:
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And this is from 1765. The great crepes caper happens in 1793, almost 30 years later.
My inference: Just as he has in the modern period, Aziraphale has settled into a style he really likes and refused to let go of it long after it's gone out of fashion.
We'll come back to this set of Aziraphale's clothes in a bit, but we need to talk about Crowley's first, because Crowley's clothes in this scene help render a line he says later about this outfit very flirtatious and darkly romantic.
First, some background: What was considered acceptable attire for wealthy people in France changed pretty much overnight during the French Revolution after the storming of the Bastille in 1789 and the fall of the French monarchy. Instead of advertising wealth, clothes now had to advertise political allegiance, and they had to do so loud and clear. And if you didn't want to be murdered by the French First Republic, that political allegiance had fucking better be to the Revolution.
People started wearing a looooooot of super patriotic shit. And I mean it was like little kids on the 4th of July; clothes were red, white, and blue in any hue and garish combination and print. The cockade, a fabric rosette in the colors of the French flag, was required by law to be worn by men, and despite that was just as popular among women. To show solidarity with the laboring classes, the fabrics the wealthy wore went from embroidered silk in light Rococo colors (what Aziraphale is wearing) to sober neutrals without decoration in wool, cotton, and linen.
Now, the script note for Crowley's clothing in this scene is this:
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But clearly there were some changes made between script and filming, because Crowley does not appear standing behind Aziraphale; he appears lounging.
And he's not dressed as a French peasant.
Here's how French peasants dressed in 1790:
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Peasants at this time wore styles that distinguished them from the styles of the upper classes not just in materials, colors, or patterns, but in shapes. Full trousers and cropped boxy jackets in French flag colors were the marks of the laboring-class Revolutionary, and both styles were huge changes from hundreds of years of French fashion up to that point.
And that's not what Crowley shows up wearing. Crowley is wearing the knee breeches, stockings, waistcoat, and frock coat of a wealthy man, and in fact his clothes reference a very specific type of wealthy man.
In the 1790s, if you were an aristocrat who wasn't happy about the Revolution and you were so sure of your privilege that you would risk your life showing it, you wore black in mourning for the monarchy and in protest of the violence of its deposition. If you were an aristocrat who wanted to protest and you didn't want to be immediately murdered by the French First Republic, you wore a style called half-mourning, which was black with a colored coat.
Here's a picture from a 1790 fashion magazine of an aristocrat in half-mourning:
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"The text accompanying the plate describes his ensemble as 'half-mourning,' referring to the aristocrats who lamented 'the diminished powers of the monarchy and [signaled] their willingness to die for the royal cause'" [emph. added]. [Source]
Notice: the shoes, stockings, breeches, waistcoat, and cravat are all black. You with me?
Because here's Crowley in 1793:
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I've turned up the brightness and exposure in this image so he's more clearly visible against the stone, but I haven't warmed it up. He's wearing a coat that's a dark blackish red. Everything else, even his cravat, even his shirt, is black. (The black shirt is anachronistic, a lovely little nod to Crowley's refusal to wear angelic white.)
This is 179fuckin'3, y'all. Marie Antoinette is executed in 1793. It's 3 full years after that fashion plate up there in his bright red jacket, and that lil dude was already risking his neck way back in 1790. As we can see from the fact that the government are apparently now grabbing random wealthy-looking Englishmen off the street to murder without trial, the time for a man demon to be sauntering around Paris dressed in all black or even nearly all black is well past.
Crowley's also wearing a whole assload of huge silver buttons, which would have been flashy and tacky and frankly pretty weird in 1793 but very definitely an eccentric Rich Person Thing to do, bc regular buttons at this time were horn or wood and covered with the garment's fabric. The only man in France who could get away with this fancy aristo shit anymore was Robespierre himself, and only "devotion to the cause[...] excused Robespierre’s showy dress since he was perceived as a bridge between the politically empowered bourgeois deputies and the ardently antimonarchical unenfranchised classes." [Source]
So when Crowley teases Aziraphale--
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--both of them are perfectly well aware that Crowley's outfit would get him just as killed as Aziraphale's.
And that's why Aziraphale's expression is annoyed when he has abandon his "standards" and change his clothes. Because Aziraphale's the one who needs the favor, Crowley makes him take one for the team and wear the goofy hat.
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The clothes Az. changes into here still tell people that he's rich, but they also say he's a hardcore Revolutionary. The red jacket in a current cutaway style, the cockade and sash, and the bonnet phrygien (the red garden-gnome cap) all announce this guy is a huge supporter of the Revolution. His clothes are all still aristocratic in shape and materials (and he keeps his now-unfashionably frilly lace cravat), but he's no longer flaunting obscene wealth in a city filled with angry starving people, and the gnome cap says he's in solidarity with the working classes even if he isn't one of them.
Once he restarts time, Crowley is not leaving that prison cell safely without either changing his clothes or taking Aziraphale with him, because Crowley looks like a rich asshole protesting the fall of the monarchy--which is frankly exactly the kind of thing he'd show up wearing to the Bastille during the Reign of Terror (just like he wears athleisure in Heaven). But Aziraphale's new appearance covers for them both: if the rich-looking guy with no cockade and wearing all black under his almost-black coat is in with this other guy who's obviously a Revolution fanatic, then the rich guy's probably okay, right? He just forgot his sash at home or something. Bees.
Something else happens when Az. changes, too. Look at Aziraphale's new dress from a different angle:
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Half-mourning is a white shirt, but a black cravat, so this isn't half-mourning. He's wearing three different badges of the Revolution to make up for the fact that Crowley looks like a Satanic libertine (which tbf he is), but Aziraphale's new ensemble is black and dark red.
Y'all. Aziraphale changes into Crowley's colors.
Now, this is a more fashionable and higher quality version of what the executioner is wearing, so Aziraphale has very plausible deniability here; if anyone ever pulled him up on it, he could say he just copied our man Jean-Claude.
But let me show you what English fashion looks like right now:
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This is a French painting of a wealthy Frenchman, but he's wearing the English 'Corinthian' style. It was painted in 1795, so this would have been the very cutting edge of fashion in England in 1793, and the fabrics and colors look right at home in Revolutionary Paris. (He's wearing the cockade on his hat, btw.)
Look at all that angelic white! The buttery almond of the buckskin breeches, the golden kidskin gloves, the rich tan of the riding boots! The blue of the greatcoat! All colors we know Aziraphale prefers!
And yet this is what Aziraphale chooses:
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We know from the entire rest of the show how very particular about his clothes Aziraphale is. And yet 150 years before he (accidentally) admits in words that he's Crowley's friend, Aziraphale wears Crowley's colors to take him to lunch to say thank you for a rescue.
When we decide whether a character's speech or action is equivocation, one of the things we check is whether equivocation (and deception generally) is something that character does elsewhere in the text, which, with Aziraphale, hahahahaha, DUH. He's already using equivocation in this scene.
The lunch date itself is equivocation on Aziraphale's part. Aziraphale tries to thank Crowley for the rescue, but Crowley says,
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So Aziraphale says,
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No more words like "thanks" or "rescue" used, but a couple hours of good food and drink and conversation, Aziraphale hopes, will express the gratitude toward Crowley it's not safe to speak aloud. With this, Crowley and Aziraphale explicitly establish that they are equivocating for each other's safety and using coded communication--immediately before Aziraphale changes into Crowley's colors.
So yes, Aziraphale may well copy the executioner's clothes. But consider: When a character who can't speak or act openly says or does something that has two or more possible meanings, this can be read as equivocation.
We don't get a face reaction from Crowley about Aziraphale's new 'fit, so we can't be sure how he feels about this. But this whole scene is, even on its surface, about 1) the meaning clothes transmit to a viewer ("Oh good Lord," says Aziraphale when he sees what Crowley's wearing) and 2) how to show gratitude and appreciation when you can't speak of them openly. And we know Crowley notices clothing and clothing colors, because look at what he wears, like, ever. So it's very reasonable to presume he notices Aziraphale wearing his colors, and it fits well with both the rest of Crowley's actions in this scene and with his being very hurt and angry when Aziraphale later characterizes their interactions as "fraternizing."
Right, so we've covered what's going on with the husbands' clothes, and we've looked at two examples of equivocation on Aziraphale's part, viz., lunch and his change of colors. (Here's an example of equivocation on Crowley's part as well.) Now let's look at that super interesting thing Crowley says about Aziraphale's first outfit.
Here's the line:
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Crowley follows up here on earlier lines in which he teases Aziraphale for coming to Reign-of-Terror Paris for crepes: "Dressed like that?" meaning Aziraphale was guaranteed to get arrested dressed like an aristocrat. The top layer of equivocation is always an innocuous meaning: the plausible deniability meant for the hostile/unsafe listeners. That's Meaning 1.
But "Dressed like that, s/he's asking for trouble" means two other things, too. It's a veeerrrrry familiar phrase, isn't it? We've all heard that arrangement of words in that order before. It's used when people think someone (usually but not always a woman) is dressed to invite sexual attention.
How do we know we're supposed to take this modern meaning from this phrase? This is how:
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We have learned in literally the previous sentence to this one that rain has not been invented yet. The only two humans in existence have just left the Garden. Balloons definitely do not exist yet, humans couldn't tell you what lead is, and yet this is a phrase Crowley uses and Aziraphale understands. This tells us, the audience, in the very first line of the very first scene with these characters, that their speech is anachronistic and modern, and that we are to understand their phrasing in its contemporary sense.
So. When Crowley says "Dressed like that, he was asking for trouble" in 1793, we should read that in the context of the scene and in the senses the phrase carries to us today.
And since Crowley is using a phrase that means the executioner is dressed to invite sexual attention, and the executioner is wearing clothes identical to Aziraphale's, then Crowley is necessarily telling Aziraphale that when Aziraphale was wearing those clothes--those frilly, effete, unfashionable-for-decades clothes that nobody else likes and the French now murder people for wearing--that was, in Crowley's view...provocatively sexy. Meaning 2.
"Dressed like that, s/he was asking for trouble" is also what people say to justify violence, especially sexual violence against women and queerphobic attacks against men perceived as gay or just 'insufficiently' 'masculine'. In fact justifying assault is likely the most common way this phrase is used today by a wide margin. Meaning 3.
Crowley's joke isn't even really a joke in this sense; it's a vicious barb. And, because it must, it sounds like it's at Aziraphale's expense: You wore the wrong clothes, you weren't careful enough to guard yourself against the men who want to do you harm, so you deserved the trouble you got. Meaning 1.
Except remember: Crowley is also dressed for trouble. And Aziraphale is aware of this. Crowley's 'fit would be almost as offensive to the Revolutionary French of 1793 as Aziraphale's Rococo pastels, and probably just as likely to get him arrested and murdered by the state if he weren't making letting Aziraphale keep him safe by wearing the cockade and the silly hat. Crowley's not saying anything about Aziraphale here that he's not also saying about himself; and as we know from Aziraphale's initial "Oh good Lord" when he turns around and sees Crowley's black and red half-mourning (with extra black and gobs of silver), Aziraphale knows it.
Then why the rapey joke, Crowley?
This is fucking why:
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Crowley rocks up at the Bastille just in time to witness some grubby fucker assault his friend. Assault the person Crowley will greet 15 seconds after this as angel.
Crowley's first act after freeing Aziraphale is to send this dude to his death. Nope! Aziraphale is the one who arranges to have the executioner killed in the clothes he would have killed Aziraphale for wearing. He takes Jean-Claude's ability to speak (but not to make sounds, interestingly! Jean-Claude can still whimper, Jean-Claude can still cry!) so the executioner can't tell anyone about the 'mixup.' It's unclear which of them blocks the executioner's power of speech. The vicious joke about assault in Meaning 3 isn't at Aziraphale's expense at all. It's not You wore the wrong clothes, so you deserved the trouble you got. It's If this guy thinks you deserve trouble for wearing the wrong clothes, he can eat his own rules.
And that's the other piece of evidence that, along with Crowley's ensemble, shows us the audience and Aziraphale which meanings Crowley intends with his equivocation. Meaning 1 is cancelled out by Crowley's clothes. That leaves Meanings 2 and 3.
Crowley and Aziraphale share clothes as a common interest. They don't have the same style, but they're both aware of current fashions, and Heaven and Hell aren't. You can't tell me Hastur or Uriel would recognize the significance of Crowley saying "Dressed like that, he's asking for trouble" about someone else while wearing black stockings and cravat and waistcoat himself. And that means Anything the husbands communicate to each other through clothing choices goes undetected by their masters.
SO. With all this in mind, let's go through the 1793 scene again and look at what their clothes help them say without words.
Concluded in Part 2!
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