#but im telling you there was a 10 year period with No way to watch it online at all
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really feeling the need to send anon hate right now <-licensing company took down only existing dubbed copy of anime i love Again
#like ok. story time#it is 2011 and a magigirl anime has just finished airing#for some reason the first country besides japan to get it is spain#less than a month after it ended#however it stops being aired right at the end and only half of it is released in dvd#(which i own)#then#10 years later in 2021 it's added to a streaming service#the full thing! which they must have had lying around for 10 whole years!#and then they keep adding other seasons that had never even been aired!#(whose rights they bought like 7 years ago too)#as well as other full anime series perfectly dubbed#and then two years later they take it all down again for no reason#and back to it really does not exist anywhere again#at least it was recently (like around 2021 too) picked up for fansub for some reason ? and has been fully subbed now#but im telling you there was a 10 year period with No way to watch it online at all#grrr#anyways. stupid fiasco reminded me i forgot to download the last 14 episodes or so i should get to that#but it makes me so mad what.#its just there in the vaults#at least release a dvd or something man#mar's midnight rambles
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I am asking about your zukka mitski playlist because my interest has been peaked !!
hi anon i am aware that this ask was sent on july 1st and your interest is no longer piqued so oops and sorry :(
here is the playlist link in case u still want to listen to it and ill talk about it a bit under the read more!!
hiiii so the funny thing about this playlist is that it was from before i even started posting about divorced zukka but i still had the headcanon of zuko and sokka dating when younger, breaking up, and then getting back together as middle aged adults. the playlist follows that exact same sequence cause im too lazy to write the fic so this is my way of writing the divorced zukka fic
ok so im not gonna explain the whole thing but I'll try to be a bit brief about what the songs talk about without getting into Why cause i know i'll be here for hours if i do so
1-3: sokka's section. it is set in canon and the vibe here is "i need to be strong, i need to be brave and tough like my father, like a real man, i have depression, i need to be the warrior, i do all the protecting but who is going to save me, i'm just asking for a kiss, one day i am going to die, etc"
4-9: zuko's section. set in canon up till "working for the knife" which is about him being firelord which suuuuucks. ehh you get the gist of it he is flawed, he is fucked up, he doesn't know what he wants, he is the forest fire, he is watching himself burn, he just needs something that will fill him up, etc and then he is crowned firelord and he gets worse but in a different way
10-11: classic sokka and zuko parallelism. hungry to be something they cannot be, thinking that that thing is what they should want, that that is what they are really hungry for. Wrong
12-13: set in the boiling rock. both would be from sokka's perspective and first love late spring is there because of how zuko holds sokka back from doing this reckless thing alone and end up killing himself "one word from you and i would jump off of this ledge im on baby. tell me don't so i can crawl back in" and heat lightning is about sokka surrendering and giving in to accepting that he needs help, he can't do this alone and so he allows zuko and co to carry this load with him and work together to get out of tbr
14-15: zuko and sokka start dating years after the war. "come into the water" is basically "come here, let's take this risk together. we both know it could be a mess but we don't really care about that right now, tell me you want me to do this and i'll come into the water with you" and for a while, it is all good. sokka and zuko start falling in love, they start taking care of each other, thinking that they can heal like this together and it'll all be good. there is still some issues in there like sokka's protectiveness that can end up hurting him "while you sleep, i'll be scared. so by the time you wake, ill be brave" but during that period in their relationship, they feel like nothing can get to them as long as they're together in their safe space.
16-18: the problems arise. they both knew that this had to be secret because of zuko's position, homosexuality being illegal in the fire nation, the assassination attempts that could worsen if the truth came out, and both their reputations but it's hard keeping it secret when they wish they could be like this not only behind locked doors. as well as that, sokka feels inferior here in the fire nation and it's not just the way the court talks about and at him and the way he's treated because of the fire nation's racism, it's that feeling that in a way he is betraying the water tribe, his family, his mother, everyone. what is he doing here in a nation that caused him and everyone so much harm? and he can separate how he feels about zuko from how he feels about the fire nation but it feels wrong sometimes, they feel like the same person sometimes.
18: this could also be seen as the proposal gone wrong or what leads up to it. they both aren't talking things through with full honesty, they try to avoid conflict cause their relationship is their one good thing at the moment. "sorry i can't take your touch, it's not that i don't want you" is basically sokka refusing the proposal to me. those aren't his words, they both just burst out at each other and make it all a mess. and sokka wants zuko but he can't sacrifice himself to spend his whole life there in a nation that he just doesn't feel right in, which might be one of sokka's few "im doing this for me" moments, and so this ends their relationship. huzzah.
19: breakup song. thinking that's where you loved me. me too zukka
20-21: classic zuko self-deprecation momence. "when you leave me, i should die. i deserve it, don't i?" and "i don't blame you if you want to bury me in your memory, im not the boy i ought to be" etc
22: sokka's lament. "i know i ended it but why won't you chase after me?" i know that this is what i must do but why won't you come back and try to change my mind? what if you just don't care anymore? why didn't you stop me even if we both know that we can't change this?
23: "you're my best friend now i have no one to tell how i lost my best friend" no comment
24: aghhhh this love is a star it's so gone now it's so over
25: we are so back!!!! as reluctant friends. this is zuko and sokka's first formal reunion together where they actually sit down together and awkwardly talk and pretend they don't have feelings. they are both lying when they say they haven't told anyone ofc they have. in my mind, this is when zuko has izumi now and they're catching up and trying to be friends again
26-27: that doesn't fucking work, they don't want to be friends. they always want each other when they think they're finally fine, they're both foolish to bet on this "whatever it is" when they know they're bound to lose. they want each other but they can't have each other, they hold the cards, they have a chance but taking that risk could ruin everything
28: oh my gooood fuck it let's hook up for old time's sake but also we both know that this shit won't go anymore but let's take this chance only for today (becomes a frequent thing every time sokka visits)
29: sokka has a realization and finds out that zuko still does have feelings. he wanted him but he couldn't reach sokka again, he's been keeping all of him in his memory to try to keep that love and now Sokka knows. oh shit wtf what now?
30: zuko and sokka have a talk. they have a small moment. maybe there is slow dancing involved. it really was foolish of us to think that we could stay the same. it would be so wonderful to go back to when we were younger, that short time was beautiful while it lasted. we both know that there is love in here but it can't happen again. im sorry
31: SIKE!!!! WE ARE SO BACK FR THIS TIME. you are the one i want, you're the one i've got, i'm not wasting this one lifetime without you. i will be the one you need, the way i can't be without you
32: zukka undivorced arc baby zukka back together. i know i've kissed you before but i didn't do it right, i haven't kissed you the way i should. let me kiss you like it used to be, not hurried or desperate, let me do it right and let me try again and again and again until we get it right. maybe there is no way to get it right and perfect but they still kiss so it's a perfect excuse
33: zuko and sokka retire, zuko ends the monarchy, they run off to the water tribe together just like they planned from the beginning. they could be anywhere but it doesn't matter where, they just want to be still with each other
34: *sokka voice* yue i just had a weird prophetic dream so if i die, look after zuko for me
35: sokka death scene amv. zuko loses sokka forever this time and there's no coming back now. he doesn't know how to be strong anymore if sokka isn't here to see him
36: zuko death scene amv. go get your stupid death on a rocking chair all calm and peaceful, old man
37: end credits
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WEEKLY TAG WEDNESDAY THURSDAY!
Thanks @energievie @krysmiss @jrooc @creepkinginc @darlingian for tagging me <3
choose a fandom: Shameless
how did you first hear about it? watched the UK version when i was way too young and then when i started high school the US version came out and my entire year level was obsessed and none of us had the channel it was airing on so someone illegally downloaded it when an episode came out and we would pass it around on a USB so we could watch it LMAO
do you own any merch? does shameless even have merch? i have season 2 on dvd and stickers i drew and got printed from redbubble
what thing involving this fandom do you think non fans would be surprised to hear? it's such a huge cast,,,,william h macy, joan cusack, harry hamlin, louise fletcher, katey segal, dove cameron (briefly), jeffrey dean morgan (briefly)
favourite character? mickey! and frank
in 5 words explain why they're your fave: mickey: interesting, funny, relatable, caring, complex. Frank: weird, hilarious, entertaining, terrible, well-played
choose another fandom: Umbrella Academy
what's your least favourite thing about the source material? i dont like it when all the siblings are separated from one another until they band together for only one episode, the sibling dynamic is what makes it perfect
favourite ship: diego and lila OR allison and ray
best fanfic: anything by veteranklaus,,,,,gone but never forgotten
describe the vibe of the fandom in 5 words: lacks critical thinking and amazing
what's your name backwards? yllom
tell me how old you are the way a three year old might: im a dinosaur (i am not)
what is your favourite ice cream? vanilla
tell me something you wish more people knew about you: im really fucking anxious like all the time, it stresses me out and i dont know how to talk to people because of it and talking one on one is really hard
where is home for you? australia, some of you know where
if you could be an anthropomorphized stuffed animal, what stuffie would you want to be? i wanna be the this toy koala beanie kid i got 17 years ago and still sits in my room
the movie you wish everyone would watch: 10 things I hate about you
what makes you really emotional lately? god fucking everything!! it's christmas so i have to do everything and im tired and im not sleeping and i think my period is coming too to top it all off
are you okay? absolutely not! but hopefully after christmas i can just,,,decompress
not tagging anyone bc see above!
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Idk if this is inappropriate, if it is feel free to ignore me, but ive been following you a long time and watching you soberpost with a mix of longing and admiration. Well, today im 10 days sober, the longest span of time ive gone without smoking weed for over 3 years period, and the longest time ive gone sober on purpose besides. I guess Im hoping youll get what i mean when i say that this is the first time ive ever felt like i was really in control of myself in all that time. Its the first time i havent felt enslaved by a habit i sort of resented myself for submitting to, but also wasnt willing to really give up on. The mixture of denial and self delusion going into it, telling myself that i dont hate this, that im in control, that i could stop if i wanted and i just dont want to, telling myself i didnt really want to… you know, it goes on. I dunno. I dunno what comes next for me, but i know that im more alive sober than i ever was high, as much as i told myself differently, and to some extent i have you to thank for that.
Yes I know exactly what you mean. It was only after I got sober that I understood the first step of AA/NA: Admitting you are powerless. I am powerless over alcohol and other drugs. The only way I have control is total abstinence. Sometimes the truth is so obvious, but we lie to ourselves and deny deny deny. Congratulations. I hope you stay sober.
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*years later* thanks so much for the tag @lovelybeautifulpretty!! cant recall if i warned u before but i tend to go buckwild with these, sorry and your welcome :D
Here are top 10 fav films and surprise surprise, im just a hot mess of eclectic tastes 🤷♀️ in no particular order:
Robocop
This 80s masterpiece is a smart political satire/social commentary disguised as a comic book/action revenge movie that interweaves hilarious dark humor, ultraviolence and science fiction in a simple yet seamless plot. It will honestly SHOCK you just how much it has to say on American evolutions in capitalism, media influence, desensitization to violence, gentrification, and our perception of heroes, each in service of a greater conversation about identity and culture.
Atonement
I consider this film the pinnacle of an angsty/doomed romance executed perfectly on-screen: the performances, the cinematography, the music, EVERYTHING!! Funny story, me & the girlfriends went to see this in theaters expecting a typical period romance; left completely snot-dripping, bawling our eyes out. I shit you not, i felt the utter devastation from this film for WEEKS
Amelie
If there was a film to define the term "whimsy" then this is it!! Its so creatively rich, with such a fun and sweet art style in the characters, the way its filmed, the music, the romance- it'll make your heart ache for days.
Inglorious Basterds
I'm a big whore for Tarantino ever since Reservoir Dogs, but I consider film his ABSOLUTE masterpiece. The comedically distinct characters, the sharpness of dialogue, how he builds up the tension of scenes to the point of explosion with just a simple conversation- *CHEFS KISS*
Children of Men
This dystopian sci fi drama was made in 2005 but with all the social commentary woven into the background of the story, it is eerily topical in today's tumultuous political & social climate (which is very telling about us as a society I suppose). The director Alfonso Cuaron is a master at "show don't tell" filmmaking and it SHOWS. Also the tracking long shots in this film are something to witnessed, beheld even. Masterpiece.
Bridget Jones' Diary
My absolute FAV romantic comedy, i totally relate to this bumbling, epic disaster of a woman, even more so now that i'm 30+ like her. Fun fact, the plot is heavily inspired by Pride & Prejudice which is probably why i love it so much. Also Colin Firth 🥵 (which leads me to another fun fact- he was cast as Mark Darcy mainly due to the author's crush on him from his portrayal of Mr. Darcy in the 1996 BBC miniseries which put him on the map, and rightly so. I know the film adaption is super popular, but any P&P fan NEEDS to watch this version, so so good)
Chicago
This musical ruined all theater musicals for me forever- the film adaptation is THAT good!!! The spectacle, the numbers, the PERFORMANCES- Catherine Zeta Jones slayed as Velma Kelly (also my ovaries), i love it so much that i watched it 3 times back to back on a flight i honestly couldnt get enough lol
Kung Fu Hustle
This film is Stephen Chow's magnum opus- an action comedy that blends kung-fu and all sorts of historical chinese references and homages of the directors favorite films, you can tell the passion and the fun that went into making this film and it really REALLY shows. I consider this a perfect execution of what a live-action anime could be, this film is an absolute blast and classic
Annihilation
I've got a bit of a cosmic/existential horror kink (where a form of media makes you question the world/life as we know it or triggers an existential crisis) and this film gets it RIGHT. It's a philosophical sci-fi thriller but is so much more with its themes of pain and identity, exploration of humanity's disposition for self destruction but also its unsettling visuals and soundtrack. Funny story, the sound design is so alien/unsettling that it spooked my cat from her nap and got her staring at the screen with wide eyes and an arched back trying to figure out what the eff was going on (me as well).
Also love how its an all female cast but its never mentioned in-film; just a bunch of capable women going to take care of business (i didnt even notice until my 2nd watch)- im a fan of this approach as it in effect "normalizes" this scenario whereas calling it out as if its special just highlights how it's an exception...anyway, its a horrifically beautiful film.
Sicario
Denis Villeneuve can do no wrong in my eyes (nor cinematographer Roger Deakins), a beautifully shot thriller that serves as a social commentary on how laws are meant to be broken, lines are drawn and then erased when convenient, as long as it serves a so-called greater purpose, that keeping a moral code is a futile effort. Brilliant performed and written, nuanced characters, glorious cinematography and a killer soundtrack (RIP Johan Johansson), A+++++
alright sorry for the long rambling post, cant help myself! Tagging a bunch a folks that seem alive per my notifs, no pressure of course!!!
@writebecauseyoucannotbreathe @nuri148 @your-lavender-dreams @warbarbie @levi4mikasa @onigiri-dorkk @helena-thessaloniki @misplacedgamer @lovely-apparitions @ally147writes @stalactice @vero-icon @mylienated @hellhorsedotjpg @magicalanchordestiny
#thanks for the tag!!#tag game#robocop#atonement#amelie#inglorious basterds#children of men#bridget jones diary#chicago film#kung fu hustle#annihilation#sicario
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when did you start watching the anime (also how/why)
and how many episodes do you watch per day to go that fast??? (im asking because im genuinely impressed)
It's a funny story, I think-
Basically, I was hanging out months ago (like, the start of this year?? End of last year?? I think??) with my brother and his friend at his friend's house and they were like "Oh! What if we watch One Piece? The first episode, cmon, Robin!" and I was like: "Fuck, no. Shit's too long. Not watching all that. I'm sure it's cool and you two love it but I'm sooo not getting into this". But then they wouldn't stop insisting and the show started playing out of nowhere and, like, I just wanted to eat my salad so I guess I just didn't care if they made me watch a few episodes. The salad was really good, btw.
Anyway: I watched the first two episodes and I kind of?? Fell in love?? With everything about it??? Luffy was so charming and early OP is amazingly beautiful in all the ways. I kind of miss the energy, honestly, sometimes. But I loved it. I laughed. And I was like "Oh, okay. This is good. I'm probably not watching the rest because there are a lot of episodes but, like, cool show, guys!"
Spoiler: I did watch the rest.
But I didn't watch more until February. I was on my period and when I'm on my period I get really, really sick and I feel like shit in general. And I wanted to watch something to distract myself from that torture. So I asked my brother where he watched the show in Catalan (here in Spain/Catalonia it's also dubbed in Catalan and let me tell you, it's one of the best dubs I've seen. It's SO good) and I started watching it for real then.
The thing is, I was really, really slow watching the show because I was studying at the time and I could only watch at night sometimes and in between classes or whenever the teacher wasn't in class (or, you know, I just did it without the teachers noticing. The hyperfixation was growing). Besides, I started talking to my brother's friend more and more and more (now he's kind of like my best friend??? What the fuck lmao) and I literally told him every fucking thing that happened so, yeah, I wasn't quick watching the anime at the time. I would've probably caught up by now if it wasn't because I didn't have much time to watch it then.
Then I started Arabasta, and ever since, me and my friend have been watching the show together on Discord (I started watching it in Japanese and subbed, then). We watch the show every single night (except when we're busy, but it doesn't happen often) and we usually watch, like, 6-10 episodes every day. That's the average amount, but we've pulled all-nighters before when we've watched like 20 episodes during the night (we watched Marineford like that and we kind of did that too with WCI).
I think I don't go THAT fast tbh I could watch more every day if it wasn't because I watch the show with him only because it's sort of an 'us' thing. Now I'm on episode 1015, so I guess I'll catch up with the anime soon! Then I'll catch up with the manga and then I'll cry because I'll have to wait for episodes/chapters every week. What a torture.
TL;DR: I started watching in February, because my friend and my brother told me to and I fell in love with the show, and I watch 6-10 episodes every day unless I'm busy or I pull an all-nighter.
Fun fact: I watched the Baratie arc exactly on Sanji's birthday this year. I think he was truly meant to be my favorite character.
Oh, and the only reason I wasn't online commenting on my experience watching it before is because I physically stopped myself from looking for content because I didn't want to get spoiled. When I got to post-time skip, I created this side blog!! So, if you want a lil bit of a timeline: Started watching in February, got to post-timeskip in September when I created this blog (so 516 episodes in kind of half a year) and now I'm on episode 1015 (so 499 episodes in three months). I think it's pretty obvious that I'm not studying anymore and I'm just working 20 hours a week, huh.
#okay so i'm insane basically#the hyperfixation is too much#and i have so much merchandising now lmao y'all don't want to see the mental illness that is my room#anyway i love this show a lot aefnjkdfnalsndlanewflk#actually thanks for this ask bc i've been meaning to do math about my experience with op for a while and i never do it#one piece
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Oh and one more thing I know everybody has Their taste but Macaque rly?………..
Like how CAN YOU LOVE THIS “REDEEMED” MACAQUE IN THE SHOW (I do not have time to write a 10 page document on why macaque is not redeemed at all) like a Macaque was at his best when he was a villain like I know he is as strong as Wukong, but when he uses his brains to trick and manipulate that was way cooler than him just punching through a mountain.
Speaking of intelligence, I know media literacy is a controversial term but sometimes I wonder if most of the fandom actually watches the show. ok that too insulting. I mean There are multiple instances where Wukong has written something in the show and he even said it himself that he didn’t read because he actually has stage fright (I have a head canons as to why, because that thing was probably for a bit and not actually important) it probably has to do with the show being a little too fast . like why does Ninjago get 20 minutes but years a TV show based on one of the longest stories in history get a measly 11.
that's why im making him a villain in my au uwu i also prefer a scheming bastard myself and i have MANY bones to pick about the writing of the show and the weird preferential treatment they give Macaque. all that said, I'd rather live and let live over people's preferences.
but also, he did cause a lot of ruckus by continuously fighting Wukong in the SEM arc, looking for someone who could tell them apart xD he's a schemer AND a brawler!
also on illiterate Wukong, yeah its a silly joke that got taken for granted and now its one more annoying point of contention in the series. Wukong can read, period, let's just fucking move on from this im begging--
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To the person who sent this ask:
https://at.tumblr.com/mycptsdrecovery/hi-im-sorry-to-ask-this-really-because-it-feels/fepccd6vfm9e
So first off I want to apologize because this message is probably gonna fuck your shit up a little bit. But for me at least, clarity brought peace. I hope this helps you put the pieces together and can bring you some comfort to know that you are not alone, what happened to you was very real and incredibly traumatic, and that you are incredibly strong for living through that. You’re obviously very smart and you’re asking the right questions- keep it up.
I read your post and I know exactly what happened to you. You had a VCUG. I had it done too, multiple times when I was 3. It took me literally 20 fucking years to figure out what that was and what happened to me. When I read the Wikipedia page, it was like I got hit in the head with a brick so brace yourself before you look it up. The procedure has literally every characteristic of a sexual assault, and I have lifelong sexual trauma from it. It’s used as a tool in research for studying memory related to CSA, because ofc you can’t abuse children to get data- but the VCUG is “medically necessary.” I think it’s almost worse in a way because it’s more like a gang rape WHILE YOUR PARENT IS WATCHING, and you’re not even seen has an object of attraction- it’s dehumanizing, and the denial of autonomy over your own body has serious, long term effects. It set me up for a lifetime of other sexual trauma- by the time I was 6 I was already showing hypersexual behavior. I never learned how to set any boundaries. Period. If you learn as a child that you don’t even have privacy *in the bathroom by yourself*, layered with the confusion and embarrassment of the experience (I was being potty trained, and then all of a sudden I’m in a radiology room and my mom is telling me I have to pee on this table in front of all these people??) seriously fucked me up, at least.
I spent literally my entire life not knowing why I was so fucked up, not knowing why I was so deeply traumatized when nothing (that I knew of) happened to me. It’s agony, and I blamed myself and lost myself in addiction and anorexia. Funnily enough, Ive always gravitated towards people who had serious childhood trauma. I’d hear their stories, and understand the feelings, but I never had a “story” of my own. It made me feel like an imposter, because it wasn’t like I got raped by a family member or something more “textbook”. Nobody talks about VCUG trauma even though thousands of kids go through this every year. It’s a faceless trauma, there’s nobody to blame (which makes it even more difficult to cope with imo)
There’s like one (1) support group on Reddit with 70 members, which is the largest to my knowledge. I was thinking of maybe starting a blog because there’s a lot of older people on reddit (like 5-10 yrs older than me at least) and I think that growing up Online with that trauma and 24/7 access to violent adult content is a totally different experience. But all of the emotions they talk about are the same, I’ve always kinda felt like nobody could understand what it’s like to be in my head, but reading that subreddit made me realize that I’m not The Most Fucked Up Person Who Has Ever Lived. And I learned how the trauma has formed every facet of my personality. Like I’m an anxious control freak who feels no sense of ownership over my body- surely that has nothing to do with this foundational traumatic memory of being denied control over my most basic bodily functions, right? Much to think about lol
You’re not crazy, and what you went through is unfortunately very real. I’m assuming that you’re still a teenager or a very young adult so you may not have gotten a yeast infection since you were a kid, but I think that the white stuff/medicine you were describing was monistat for a yeast infection. It’s a suppository, so there’s a like plastic plunger you put this white egg on, and then you put it in your vagina and push it up to your cervix, and the medicine leaks out over the course of a couple days. So it doesn’t surprise me at all that you would remember that, someone put a foreign object inside of you that was itchy and gross.
And for the record, your parents are *Very* Bad At Boundaries!!! If they can’t be the adults and set healthy boundaries, you have to. Its perfectly okay to say “I don’t want to talk about that” or “you’re making me uncomfortable, please stop touching me”. You didn’t have a voice when you were a kid, but you have one now. Trust me, I know it’s fucking scary and feels impossible- but do it once, and you’ll be hooked on the feeling forever.
I figured everything out last year (I’m about to turn 24), and I’ve been in therapy which has been super helpful. For me at least, EMDR has really been great for reprocessing those memories, and so has hypnotherapy exercises for being able to get into my subconscious. If you’re gonna look for one, you need a trauma specialist. Don’t fuck around with like a school counselor who mainly does “I’m depressed sometimes” therapy. If you’re anything like me, you need Serious Help.
I love you internet stranger- everything’s gonna be okay. You’re not alone, and it is possible to heal ❤️ I hope this brings you some peace
.
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Hi ! Can you please do a 7a imagine when they react to you when youre on your period ?
Of course! Also im sorry for taking so long!! I hope you like it!
︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎
𝐘𝐨𝐫𝐜𝐡
Yorch woke up from his sleep as he heard sounds coming from the bathroom. He sat up and rub his eyes. "YN, what are you doing..." his eyes landed in the bed sheets were there laid the culprit that made you go to the restroom. As realization hits him slowly he shot his eyes open. He immediately knock in the bathroom's door. "YN....love are you alrig-". "NOOOOOO! This shit is hurting!!!". Your bloody scream scared Yorch's pretty ears. " is there a way I can help you? I don't want to leave you alone....lets fight this pain together" Yorch made the "fighting" gesture with his arm and hand. " do some magic and switch our bodies for this week" you said. "Sure! How I do it?" He said joking. You laughed. "Babe.....I love you..."you said opening the door. " I love you too...." Yorch pecks your head above and hugs you.
♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎
𝐒𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐰𝐨𝐧
You laid in the couch with comfortable clothes and a blanket on you. You quietly watch the tv while eating popcorn. "Here, I made soup....I cool it down so it wont increase your pain...." He puts the soup on the small table in front of you. You smiled and thank him. He sat next to you, a hand rubbing behind your back. " im lucky im not girl...." He said with a sad smile. You drop the spoon on the soup. " that doesn't make me feel any less better!" You whined. Sangwon chuckle and got close to you to hug you. "I was joking" he kiss your cheek. "Let me feed you" he said grabbing the spoon and feeding you.
♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎
𝐖𝐨𝐨𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧
"Yn,.......are you on your period?" He asked from his room. You were in the kitchen. "Yeah love?" You said feeling weird out he is randomly asking. "Okay....because.....I bought you 5 packs of pads, 10 boxes of tampons, and 5 packets of 16 year old women underwear with 10 undies on each 5 packets which is 50 undies in total, babe you're living in the glory, you're lucky to have a boyfriend like me, you're very welcome..." he kiss your cheek and went back to his room. Meanwhile you were awestruck. "Since when did Woochan know how to count ?" You asked yourself.
♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎
𝐉𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐬
"James I don't feel like going out today...." You said on the phone to your boyfriend. " why? Are you okay?" His voice sounded worry. "Yeah it's just....my menstrual cycle...it is back...." You said but suddenly James ended the call. You thought he got angry but after 10 minutes he knock on your door. You open it. "Yn! Don't worry....I'll stay with you for a while, if you need anything just tell me and I'll make it or buy it for you....." he smiled as he rubbed your stomach slowly. " massage my feet please..." you joked. "Uh...haha...um anything else besides that..." James said and you hit his arm.
♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎
𝐉𝐉
You stood to up from the bleachers trying to go to the bathroom but you were stoped by your bf pulling you in front of him. He whispered in your ear " sugar....you have a red spot in your skirt!" He said widening his eyes at you. " is it too visible?" You asked embarrassed. "Yea VERY....here put my jacket on..." he took off his uniform jacket and put it around your waist tightly. "It's gonna stain your jacke-". "It's fine I have 5 more of those....I'll take you to the bathroom..." he said and hold your hand guiding you down to the females bathroom.
♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎
𝐉𝐢𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐧
"Ahhhhh!" You clutched your stomach. " does it hurt that much?.....let's go to the nurse" he put a hand behind your back. "No its okay, this is very normal you know...I just hate this pain..." you said as you sat down in chair of the cafeteria. "Here drink water..." Jihoon gives you his water bottle and took a sip. " it is very cold....nice!" You said happily. Jihoon smiled his hand still behind your back. " if you need anything just tell me..." he said. You kiss his cheek and smiled. "Of course ".
♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎
𝐋𝐞𝐨
"LEOOOOO bring me the pads!" You yelled from the bathroom. There goes Leo running towards the bathroom. He knocks on the door. "Here....." he said giving you the pack. "Thank you baby". You said and close the door. Once you got out of the bathroom he ran towards you and hold you. " are you okay....I bought food for us ...." He said running his fingers on your hair. "I was going to ask you just that! Thank you you're the best!" You hugged him tightly.
♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎
Thank You For Reading 📖💕
(also on wattpad and IG )
#trainee a imagines#traineea#hybe labels#kpop#bighit#trainee a#han jihoon#jo woochan#trainee a james#justin jay#trainee a jj#trainee a reactions#trainee a jihoon#trainee a leo#trainee a sangwon#trainee a scenarios#trainee a fluff#trainee a yorch#yorch yongsin#lee sangwon#james#zhao yufan#kpop headcanons#kpop fluff#kpop reactions#kpop scenarios#kpop fanfiction#trainee a fanfiction
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its almost going to be 10 years since i was sa’ed. and im still trying to find a justification for it and trying to figure out who really was to blame.
did i ask for it? i remember being a bit daring because i thought he was bluffing. but it happened. and i remember a lot of it vividly. some of it feels like the blurriness of a dream.
im still trying to understand. but im only understanding nothing. he insulted every other girl in that cul-de-sac. he insulted my sibling and called them ugly. he made dirty jokes a lot. but he called me beautiful. and on the day , he made a bet with me. if i performed the act he requested , he would give me candy or money. i dont remember which it was. during the incident , he still called me beautiful , and called me baby.
sa is a criminal act. you can go to jail for it. but he was 12 or 13. i do not know if a kid so young who did it to a 10 year old girl would have gotten in trouble. i had no proof myself to present to anyone. and i laughed off a friend at the time who told me i need to talk to someone.
ive said his name , but it may have come off as like a name of endearment. especially regarding my comments of how i cant exactly let him go , even though i have an indescribable hatred of him. his name was angel. i hate that i still remember that , even after all these years.
the incident has only left me thinking for the past year or so to just give my body up for others pleasures. i think that's all im worth. ive been gr00med as well , by adults online. and i will not be surprised when i get four letter r worded one day. im expecting it.
i cant let myself fall in love because im afraid to encounter someone like him again. i want to be loved , not used.
it feels so paralyzing. each time i think about it my freeze response is triggered. each time i want to say something about it , it feels like i lose my ability to speak or type. the flashbacks have been terrifying. i cant escape it. the memories lead to shaking and feeling very hot and embarrassed , and his touch comes back. there's no possible way to distract myself anymore from the memories and flashbacks. i got up to get cantaloupe not long after thoughts came on tonight to just eat and forget about the incident , but it does not taste like much now. and its not blocking out the taste of the french kiss you forced upon me 8 years ago , as well as biting my tongue. even though he did not...have i word with me nor did he four letter r word me , if i did not escape i know it would have happened. and i beat myself up relentlessly lately for escaping. i tell myself i should have stayed and made him happy. after all , i agreed. though i did not really know what he meant. and i thought it was a joke. until he had taken my hand and led me to the small foresty area of the cul-de-sac , and your friend tagged along. he watched as everything happened. i remember very vividly that you and him were making jokes and laughing at my under clothes , and you stopped and started being sweet with me and calling me affectionate names when you saw i almost burst into tears.
and you got off somewhat free. i havent told too many people at all. the first time i said it aloud to my psychiatrist , my voice shook so bad that you would think i was about to start sobbing. even though i laughed it off like usual. and even though what you did was a crime , there'd be no way for me to report you now. all that happened to my knowledge was that one kid’s mom thought you had done it to her daughter , not me
since it will be the tenth anniversary in two years , i may make a cake with something like “congrats! you survived ten years :)” written on it in frosting. i dont recall the exact day or even month that it happened. or time of year either. so i think ill just celebrate myself in late november of 2026.
i wish i could go back to the 5-year period of my life where i had completely forgotten about what you had done to me, Angel.
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I watched The Wonder tonight - well i say watched - more like i had it on in the background and listened while looking up from time to time - and i wish desperately the description had a warning or even a mention of anorexia nervosa, but at the same time for me personally it was one of the most beautiful and gentlest tellings of the disease
Putting this under the cut because i am well aware that even if you had the edo half a lifetime ago, there is always the potential for triggers and relapses.
Anyway, i really really loved the heart of the movie - that if you take a child out of an abusive situation they can begin to heal. The girl in the story - appropriately or maybe too obviously named ana - isn't helpless but she is only nine, she can't help herself. She's strong minded and clear about what she believes - she has agency and intelligence. But she's also in a box, her world view is limited to her family - and correct me if im wrong but i believe this story was an example of gaslighting.
It takes the nurse - an adult with an outside perspective who can provide answers to questions the child didn't even know she had - to pull ana out of the clouds of abuse. (and get answers)
I loved that the story made it very obvious that the starvation/fasting was NOT about body image (the way we like to focus on today), and was all about control and fear and addiction. The child was so traumatized she was eating herself up from the inside. The kind of trauma a child can't get out of by themselves.
It also hinted at generational trauma, if i understood the historical timeline correctly? The famine happening, and the next generation of children carrying that into their own relationship to food. Even though this was very definitely set in a time and place, and an extremely important period of Irish history to be told, I very much appreciated that the movie emphasized the universal experiences too.
And the ending made me cry it was so soft. It cared for the emotions and recovery of the child - or the people watching who saw themselves in the child. So much of the media portrayal of eating disorders is just trauma porn or a condemnation of the person suffering as being some kind of stupid or superficial girl. This movie was sensitive, and kind, and understanding.
Anyway, sorry for the word vomit, but the movie was too beautiful for me to just finish and forget. It made me think of my grandmother living through the oklahoma dust bowl and having to eat last so her brother and father would get enough in order to work on the farm, and my mother carrying that on into her own life manifesting especially in the pressure of ballet to have long lines and zero percent body fat. And in my own case, my starvation only ended when my dad fought for and gained sole custody over me when i was around 14/15. I'll be 34 soon, i have not seen my mother in person in 10 years, but the thought of it still scares me sometimes. (and as much as i complain about living alone, im also aware of how much WORSE the alternative can be)
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hello loves !! it’s mili here with my son, haewon theodore park, stage name teddy, main vocal extraordinaire of quantum 👏👏 for anyone who’s interested you can find his profile and plots page linked and of course there’s everything you need to know about teddy under the read more. please do give this post a ♡ if you’d like to plot and i’ll slide into your ims to do just that but until then !! have an amazing day !! and stan loona obv !!
run down of his bio (don’t read his actual bio trust me):
sydney born and raised, lived there for the majority of the school year with his mother and traveled to marseille, france to spend summers and long holidays with his father
fluent in both french and english
his mother is a theater actress so he’s spent his childhood following her around and watching her perform. she’s quite a strict person, wanted to raise haewon as a high achiever so she micromanaged his schedule for years until haewon got fed up with it and moved with his grandfather back in korea
got super interested in music after hearing a classmate practicing alone in the music room, he basically fell in love at the first sound lol. after that he joined the music club and, after spending a lot of time with that classmate, subsequently fell in love for Real for real. found out soon after that she had some health problems that made any future between them impossible so he just opted to never tell her about his feelings in the end
she convinced haewon to participate in dimensions’ audition together and lo and behold they both got in, though he was the only one who became a trainee and only because she managed to convince him
hateeed being a trainee 10/10 worst experience of his life but also not really, he’s just a bit dramatic sometimes. it actually helped him hone many of the skills he’d already acquired while under his mother’s reign of terror
he was pretty quiet while quantum debuted and in that subsequent period because his korean wasn’t necessarily fluent and he didn’t want to bring too much attention to it in the first place so the public thought he was the shy type but in actuality he is very social and likes to make new friends on the regular!
some facts:
knows how to sew (say thank you mama park who more or less forced him to stitch back her dresses before she went on stage)
fully thought quantum’s first win was an april fools joke before several members and the mc told him they ACTUALLY won like fr fr won and then he started crying
has an obsession with kdramas at this point but he mainly watches the slice of life ones and he regularly gives fans recommendations
because his stage name is teddy he gets a lot of teddy bears from fans and he lowkey loves that, he keeps them all on his bed or around his apartment when he runs out of room and regularly wears keychains and whatever teddy bear memorabilia he gets
is a big girl group fan and even if his dancing is just Okay™️ he will religiously learn girl group dances as they get released, sometimes practicing them more than quantum’s own songs rip
used to write songs when he was in hs and tbh most of them were love songs but he hasn’t written/composed anything in a while because he can’t bring himself to touch any instrument to work notes out and stuff, so he just walks around with a head full of ideas that he doesn’t do anything with
is a lightweight but he likes to drink way too much which in all honesty is a scandal waiting to happen
a voracious romance reader, has an old kindle with a bear case on it that contains at least 50 books, maybe more, that he carries around with him at every schedule
some plot ideas:
friends are always super wanted ofc but a super specific type i’d like haewon to have is a flirty kind of friendship, someone that he can’t help but flirt with whenever they have a coversation or see each other during schedules/hangouts. doesn’t have to be romantic in nature at all and all genders are super welcome!
i would also love some kind of rivals plot but one sided? as in haewon sees this person as his rival in the vocal department and is doing his best to keep ahead of them by taking on more vocal intense projects and the other person being like “oh he’s such a hard worker! such a cool guy! keep it up!” like very clueless about haewon’s inner turmoil lol
also listen i would love a ship…tbh he’s been keeping away from love for a while now but he’s also a romantic at heart so i’d like to give him something to be happy about. we can work details and take it slow to see if they vibe but i’d just love him to be a little bit smitten with someone again 😭
#famedintro#idk why but i'm v v sleep deprived today even tho i slept like a pig ???#i'll reply to messages asap i just need a moment#just a heads up his plot page is under construction because my internet provider decided to be an eggplant emoji today
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Letters from Osun-Oxum continuation of Communication Discourse Review of The University Scholars by Azurite
Im coming to you all with a requested input from the Osun-Osogbo Festival 2023. I have learned of Osun from multiple sources, one of many I paid no mind to due to the exploitative nature of these messengers. I am now working with Osun out of respect for the healing we have done collectively. We have a mutually beneficial relationship similar to how my relationship with Esu-Exu, and Ellegua started in Atlanta many years ago. We found a "scholarly" article written by a professor at a university in Texas named Joni L. Jones
and used this for a Communication Research assignment last semester as a way to make peace with xenophobia and exploitation of Osun's divine blessings by many indiviuals throughout higher education across the globe. We first were inspired by this work due to an article by a Nigerian Professor named Ahmed O. Adesanya, PhD whom wrote about Artifactual Code and non-verbal communication through the intricate beadwork in Yoruba culture. The PDF Link is Below.
A article that changed my lense of spiritual practice forever. I thought I can be a scholar and write about the things I enjoy such as beadwork and spirituality. Anyways... I decided to go on YouTube and look up the Osun-Osogbo Festival and watched a video; in this video a statue was shown that caught my eye and it would not let me forget about it. I immediately began to look up this statue and the ancestor in which this statue was of the first traditional ruler (1st Ataoja of Osogbo) in 1670 and ruled for a period of 90 years until his death in 1760, and he was mentioned as Larooye which happens to be a salutation to Exu in Brazilian Umbanda practices. This particular video with participants of the Osun-Osogbo Festival had interviews of people an one of our Nigerian professors from last semester got her undergraduate degree in Osun State. We aren't a fan of the woman she was very xenophobic and her energy made my nerve ending stand on edge, but we did learn a valuable lesson from her an that was you do not have to be born in Nigeria to have a connection with the ancestors of nigeria. Also Osun doesn't only work with people in Nigeria. Now I will always respect those born in the lands of the orixá but I also knew that for some reason Osun and many other Orixá chose me to tell their stories. I was chosen to get the truth out while also restoring the medicine to their chosen heirs that have been pimped out by colonizers and babalaôs for a long time. Osun despises one thing and that is kidnapping, slavery, pimp culture, and exploitation in all its forms.
youtube
If we look at the corruption of the Nigerian government and all its scandals in isolation grants Osun a whole lot to be angry about. People give this docile and only sweet persona of Osun, the way she has taught me an showed up is far from docile. Osun does not play about her space and is a stickler on boundaries. Osun will go to war for her loved ones and has been a healer of wounds new an old regarding human trafficking, slavery, and kidnapping. Osun in our opinion is one if not the most powerful orixá of them all. The concepts to take from this Hood Scholar Article is to use your knowledge of Yoruba & Igbo to dissect the Osun Festival as it stands today. It also is a challenge of why aren't more of the traditional leaders that statues still stand in the cities across nigeria not known more about to the devotees of Osun. Osun has become a global superstar over the last 10 years and very little is known about her true essence, what she stands for, and how she like to be treated. If you are going to call yourself a priest or priestess shouldn't you at least know the language of the lands in which Osun story originates ? The wealth and healing of Osun should be flooding the gates of Brazil, Nigeria, and the lives of her loved ones why is it being exploited for the pleasure of corrupted elites ? Im going to leave these questions there until next time. Its your homegirl Azurite and this is a Trapppland Exclsuive. Please make sure you cite me if you use my wisdom and any others of the scholars in your content. Thanks Osun for all you do, I love you -Azurite
Published Wednesday August 16th, 2023
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((if shea took the slow path with her immortality and returned to sinnoh as it was in dppt, what would she think about it, and how would she compare it to hisui?? what would she do in it, and where would she live?? personally this anon can see her hanging around in floroma town... or maybe shed create the etchings in the rock that's used for the shaymin event?? but thats just their viewpoint))
so i won’t go too much into this yet because i have a big lore post brewing about DPPT because for shea there is a LOT that is changed because shea is part of sinnoh history. there are carvings of a child on ruins that look somewhat like her, there are statues of her that have crumbled due to time, there are hints to her that stem from the hisui period & it reflects on the plot of those games.
that post will go into detail about like i call it my ‘DPPT rewrite’ bc that what it is, its incorporating shea & it’s why i have my cyrus sideblog so that i can split up the divergences from canon easier than just dumping it all here. && also cyrus funnie. anyways i will say that shea def is no stranger to sinnoh. a few years after the events of PLA shea has to leave jubilife village bc she doesn’t age. like physically & basically doesn’t feel comfortable with the whole ass settlement knowing who she is because it could cause issues in the future. she does tell Adaman & Irida though, who are the one’s who basically spread the tale of shea & her exploits to save hisui which then lead to the myth of ‘the child of space-time’. it’s because of the various generations of the diamond & pearl clan that you see all those hints to shea which would lead cyrus to finding out about her etc etc
i do have this post here that goes into detail about her life on the flower paradise & i’ll reblog it after this gets posted too but shea def travels around sinnoh the most. that’s her home, she is proud of hisui/sinnoh & proud to call it her home. she watches it grow into the bustling region it is today. shea just has to be careful to blend into the background so it’s not like someones grandpa sees her and is like I SWORE I SAW U WHEN I WAS 10 or somethin & get caught kjdshfa
basically for a long while shea lives in peace on the flower paradise, travels to sinnoh & various regions very infrequently, but once the modern times of like gen1 onward that is when shea is active again in the world so to speak, going out & basically becoming witness to the new heroes of the world. watching red take down rocket, meeting gold & krys, helping to protect kyogre & groudon etc etc
for the most part shea is just a npc in those tales sans DPPT. she can tell when something is wrong, that dialga & palkia are growing irritable & needs to know why. that there is something stirring with that team galactic, of which gives her a bad vibe considering her days in hisui. to her it feels like history repeating & not in a good way. but i will hopefully have that all up soon im like mad excited to share all of that 8)
as for the etching on the rock outside the flower paradise thAT IS SO CUTE HOLY SHIT
i always kinda thought that was something arceus did but giving that more thought it’s such a shea thing to do like to basically use the power of love & gratitude as a means to unlock the pathway toward the flower paradise esp after humanity would find a modern way to get to it. ouwaghhwugh i wanna think more on that i love that so much thank u for that idea holy shit aHHH
#( about / lore / headcanon. )#( ooc; answered asks. )#ive got most of like the rewrite semi mapped out so hopefully i can work on writing it all out soon#maybe in parts ?? idk it depends a lot of the middle stuff doesnt change just the plot outside our protags
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rules: list your top 10 biases and answer the following questions
tagged by: my lovely @heeseongism 🤩🤍
1. wonyoung
2. heeseung
3. jay
4. jake
5. seulgi
6. jennie
7. jaehyun
8. xiaojun
9. karina
10. rei
(this is a temporary order because idols keep bias-wrecking me everytime 😩😩😩)
Q1: between 1 and 4 who would your rather kiss?
A: yall mean how am i supposed to choose fuck 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 but,,,, jake bc i wonder how great he is with that plump looking lips 🚶♂️
Q2: between 2 and 7 who would be your best friend?
A: jaehyun bc im hee's gf so there's no way he becomes my bff🤚🏻
Q3: between 5 and 10 who has a better voice?
A: both are very talented. i tell you. but seulgi has that unique voice that i like sm and i fall in love with her more when 28 reasons out srsly she created her own genre with that album. queen behavior 💅
Q4: between 1 and 8 who is the funniest
A: xiaojun,,, he has that sense you know
Q5: between 6 and 9 who would you date?
A: i hate this game 🚶♂️🚶♂️🚶♂️🚶♂️🚶♂️🚶♂️🚶♂️🚶♂️🚶♂️ BOTH ‼️‼️‼️‼️ they're my gfs wym i've to choose💁🏻♀️
Q6: between 9 and 10 who would you do a collaboration with?
A: rei !! she's literally a hidden gem OMG did yall know that she wrote the rap parts in after like 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺
Q7: between 4 and 8 who is the better dancer?
A: both, really. i'd been watching xiaojun's growth in dancing since 2020 you wouldn't understand how proud i am 😭😭😭 #xiaojunsmomdetected. as for jake, i think he's really talented like ?????? ok i cant choose bye
Q8: between 3 and 5 who would you most likely marry?
A: jay. i mean GURL let's just be honest we all want jay as our husbands and he's the freaking standard 🗣🗣🗣‼️
Q9: between 1 and 7 who would you nurse when they are sick?
A: wony bc my girl been working so hard for these past few years and it'd be such an honor for me to take care of her oml pls she REALLY needs to rest i worry abt her 😭😭😭😭 #⭐️shipsucks
Q10: between 2 and 3 who has a better smile
A: this game is torturing me istg- bitch both 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 ok.listen i have a reason for this. you know when jay smiles and he goes :] HWISKSOHSKA ado‼️ra‼️ble‼️
and for heeseung.... man's just perfect in any kind of aspects. period.
Q11: between 6 and 8 who would you vacation with?
A: xiaojun bc idk i just don't wanna feel poor next to jennie pls 😭😭😭😭😭😭🤚🏻 i'm afraid if we'd ever be in an argument she'd slap me with her gucci bag 😞
i love this game bc it makes my ass feel bad 😍😍😍
tagging: @sugarcherriess @heeswifeyy @hee-pster @thots4hee @iiousim @jayked @maggstar and anyone who wants to hop in 🌷 (im sorry if you've get tag b4 😭🤚🏻)
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