sunburn isn't too bad today, its a much smaller area than I first thought

Hi!! I have never gotten this before so I thought it would be super cool to ask for one ahah

may i be matched to a haikyuu character? 🥺 thank you!! <3

Pronouns: she/her

Gender Preference: male

MBTI Type: I just took it for the 1000th time a few days ago and got INFP-T (but I would tend to also get ISFP dsfkjs)

Astrology Placements: Scorpio Sun, Pisces Moon, Gemini Rising, Sagittarius Venus, Pisces Mars (if it helps)

Physical Description: long straight black hair that reaches the middle of my back, dark brown eyes (that apparently makes me look like i have eyeliner sometimes) with long thick black eyelashes, light-medium neutral skin, 5'5", i apparently have long legs, thick thighs, cute butt (LMAO im just listing wut ppl have described of me too sdfkj), soft hands with quite long fingers, pretty basic body i would say sdfjhsd, and i apparently make things look expensive (i love fashion) i would say the best way to describe what i wear is probably (dark) academia but i like just wearing whatever i like--i don't like to limit myself to a certain aesthetic.

Personality Description: with new people/in first meeting, i tend to be quiet or generally don't speak much but once i warm up to you, im a really playful person or at least i really enjoy acting that way.

im honest but i should remember that my words can cut sometimes (rip), ive been described to be incredibly kind (sdfkh)... maybe because i tend to put so much energy and effort and time into other people or my relationships (friends, family, literally anyone that comes into contact with me for a decent amount of time)

i tend to act or do things according to how i feel but despite having that trait of mine or having that inclination, i can still very much be realistic. as i act according to how i feel, i have been described to act younger than my age and i doooo and i aint gonna deny it pfftt ima OWn That sHiT

i have no problem with acting like a child. i love rain, i love water, i love the ocean, i love cafes or the smell of coffee, i love the smell of fresh laundry and feeling the warm fabric (caused by drying in the sun or from a dryer lmfao) of whatever it may be (clothes, bedsheets) on my fingertips..

i love self development or just trying to be better and combined with me loving or liking a lot of different things, i try a lot of things--therefore not really becoming a master at anything dkjfhfsd. and because of that.. (i think) because i try a lot, putting quite a bit of effort into my.. goals (i have perfectionistic and overachieving tendencies) i guess.. when it fails (ofc) im incredibly disappointed, and become pretty... fucking sad hhh and when that happens.. i start to become more lazy/complacent 🤡

..bonus (if u wanna sprinkle some "angst" i guess LMAOO): i overthink a lot (so i start to have difficulty making smarter decisions or thinking of strategies to solve my problems + i still have a sprinkle of self-esteem issues of course... feeling incredibly incompetent is not foreign to me) so i could exaggerate my troubles or make a problem out of nothing 😶, im quite emotional, i have the "dismissive avoidant" attachment style, feeling hopeless quite often aint foreign to me either 😭

bonusbonus: (wow dont i love talking about myself? sdfknsd) i love corgis

Hobbies: dancing, witchcraft, astrology, divination, spirituality, reading fan fiction (LMAOOOO), reading visual novels/playing otome games, painting, drawing, looking into psychology in some type of manner, netflix, swimming, watching anime i guess, trying new things, learning something (new)

Ideal Date: tbh going to a concert of an artist we both enjoy, an arcade or an amusement park (im like a scaredy cat but im almost 100% sure im more likely to go for the “scary” rides if i was with someone i enjoyed hanging out with anyway), probably going on a tropical vacation (cus, beach anddd water activities), water amusement park !!

A Must Have in my Partner: they have to be okay with me pursuing my goals lol; i already have a problem with putting too much energy into others that i dont get to direct that energy onto myself.. so someone who has my best interest in mind + being considerate of me (because.. of that dismissive avoidant attachment style i would say--im just saying this because its the best that i can describe it) and they should be okay with my childlike actions/tendencies lol (like... they shouldnt be repulsed or something like that--that they treat me unpleasantly because of it or something) (oops i just realized thats more than one when u asked just.. one)

extra information: a short drabble would be amazing !!

sorry this was pretty messy and i pretty much just babbled LMAOO

but again, if ever you get to do this (or even if u dont..)

thank you so much!!!

i hope you have an amazing rest of your day hihi <3

sorry it took me a while ! i was just really busy lately and barely got time to write 😅

hope u enjoyy :)

I ship you with..

Nishinoya Yuu !!

- You are the most gorgeous person he knows ;)

- he literally shamelessly approached u the moment he laid eyes on u

- even with ur somewhat quiet first impression, he never gave up making u eventually warm up to him

- doesn’t really mind brute honesty, in fact he thinks of it as a form of bravery

- he also loves seeing your childish side since he himself has one too

- wanna dance around in the rain ?? he will 100% join u !!

- he loves how determined u are to get better and will constantly tell u how proud of you he is for it

- even if things dont go ur way sometimes he will comfort u and tell u that its completely normal to fail sometimes

- there is no overthinking on his watch !

- noya knows how bad it feels and that u definitely deserve a little break but he wont let u laze around too much, trying to help u get back up on ur feet and regain ur confidence is something he never fails to do

- he loves watching u do what u love and is always willing to join u (not that he is always fully understanding of what he is doing)

BONUS :

Cheering you up on a bad day..

You were getting frustrated trying to fix a mistake you made on one of your paintings. You let out a loud groan hiding your face in your hands in exhaustion, finally giving up. Hearing a loud knock on your door, you tell whoever is outside to come in. “HEY, HOW WAS YOUR- ....day ?” noya looks at you with concern in his eyes. “are you okay ?” “yeah i’m fine, its just that this painting won’t look right no matter what i do” you sigh.“maybe i should just throw it away” “you are not gonna throw it away” he says, his tone completely different from before, more serious in fact. “you might just be tired now, so don’t you dare give up now. you can always try again tomorrow” he says walking towards you and holding your hands in his, a little smile forming on his face. “how about you take a break for now ? the sun is really warm and it’s still early; wanna go swimming ?” You look a little unsure. “you still haven’t used that corgi beach towel i got you” he says, wiggling his eyebrows. You chuckle at that, proceeding to look him in the eyes with a small grin forming on you face, “sounds like a plan”...

i was tagged by the lovely @sunshinecal  💓

Name: amber Nickname: am, cornetto, amber two, some people even go as far as to just call me ginger  Zodiac sign: capricorn Height: 5′11 (1.80m) Nationality: dutch Languages spoken: dutch, english and german What time is it: i started this at like 9pm but its now 10:30pm  Celebrity crush: calum hood Favorite fictional character: alex manes, kyle valenti, evan ‘’buck’’ buckley, theres so many more but my heads empty Favorite musician: bmth, 5sos, the kooks, the wombats, halsey, idk what else i listen to man you name it and i probs hears it once  Favorite sports team: ajax baby always and to not be killed by my american friends i am forced to say red sox and bruins   Favorite season: fall and spring Favorite flower: hydrangea Favorite scent: the smell of rain, a blown out candle, fresh baked bread and fresh laundry Favorite animal: cats, dogs, otters Favorite food: pizza also fucking love bread my dudes Dream car: i honestly dont have an answer for you besides the fact that its probs automatic bc america ruined me and i absolutely hate driving stick now Dream trip: i want to see more of canada and go to australia, greece and croatia Instruments: i cant play anything but im on my way to learn piano  Coffee, tea or hot chocolate: coffee always, but it all depends on the mood with the other two  Dog or cat person: used to be cat but def both now Following: never over 400 and i broke that rule bc its 421 right now Followers: on this blog like 33 lmaoooo Other blogs: my main @valentimanes and my horror blog @screamtv Blog established: god idk i think it was 2014? but ive had my main since 2010 Do you have a Tumblr crush: honesty im in love with all my mutuals Do you get asks: sometimes yes  What is your lucky number: 28 What are you wearing right now: my jammies Drink of choice: atm its white claws but usally coffee, water or cranberry juice Number of blankets you sleep with: 1 but it needs to be a heavy one Average sleep hours: 7ish? sometimes more or less when we feeling depressed Random fact: my hostdad just shamed me for drinking white claws and honestly i cant blame him 

i tag: @cthofficial @clemmings @spicycal @califl0wer @gigglyirwin @softbabiestan @maluminspace @easierlftv @talkfastromance4 @kingcals @spacecowboycal @ashisonthefloor @vapor5sos 

multiples of 8, except in the misc section. all even numbers for the misc section

200: My crush’s name is: well well well this question again. you’re not getting anything out of me!!! they fucking use this website!!!

192: I am allergic to: nothing. but i found out like yesterday not everyone gets dermatographia and im kinda annoyed. what do you mean your skin doesnt get red and puffy the moment you touch it......

184: Xbox or ps3: xbox solely because of ah

176: Last YouTube video watched: my watch history says this, which is a scene from a show called billions. this scene in particular is about my favorite character asking about their introduction scene with their former mentor figure that they quickly outranked and asking why they were picked for the internship that lead them down this [entire shitpath].

168: Luck: [long sigh]. [puts on clown makeup].

[obi wan voice] im my experience there’s no such thing as luck. 

[rian voice] luck? there’s probability plausibility and actuality. luck is superstition. luck is lazy math. [winston voice] that’s what i always say.

160: Soul mates: again souls arent real..... nor do i believe that people are “meant for each other” on any sort of cosmic/larger level. you are more compatible with people based on your upbringing and your interests and your values and those are adaptable over time though some people are so different that they will never get along and other people match/complement each other incredibly well.

152: Phone or Online: lmaoooo this questionnaire once again showing its age. throwback to when these things weren’t synonymous. online for sure. what am i gonna do with a phone? talk to someone with my fucking voice? i think not.

144: Oranges or Apples: to eat by themselves? probably apples since they are easier and less of a mess. and apples are more consistently better than oranges. oranges, it’s easy to get a batch that just sucks. juiced? probably orange. i love me some fuckin orange juice. but i like apple cider more than orange juice.

136: Hillary or Obama: lmaoooo again.. the age of this. 2008 or 2012. going to guess 2008. obama but not like. enthusiastically. while he was certainly better than [what we got going on now] he still bombed the hell outta some countries......

128: Manicure or Pedicure: ive never had either but i would probably be more comfortable with a manicure. people touching my feet would make me ticklish.

120: Gay Marriage: the only type that should be allowed. sorry straights youre no longer allowed to get married. /s obviously.

112: Facebook: oh BOY are you fucking ready. are you???? im starting the readmore NOW because this is going to be something. i doubt anyone except robots maybe will actually read my deranged pro-privacy anti-facebook/social media/surveillance rant but im angry every time i think about it and if i were a more important person than a rando on the internet with a keyboard im sure facebook would hire someone to kill me one day.

FUCK FACEBOOK. FUCK THAT SHITTY ASS WEBSITE THAT AT EVERY TURN HAS BEEN REVEALED TO HAVE HORRIFYING PRACTICES OF DATA COLLECTION.

but before that, they need to pay some goddamn fucking taxes. they are profiting off the data of billions of people and getting away with paying SO LITTLE back. 

you ever hear about deepface? no this is not the beginning of a prequel meme. deepface is facebook’s facial recognition technology and facial recognition is fucking terrifying. that shit is as good as humans at facial recognition at this point. does that not scare you? that a bunch of computers can figure out if this photo contains you or not? it’s one thing if humans recognize each other, but another thing when computers who can process data almost infinitely faster than humans can are able to do it. the scale and speed at which these fucking nightmares operates is hard for us to imagine and so we are all not scared enough of what they can do. this kind of technology is so deeply privacy violating it’s hard for me to stress it enough. every image of you ever uploaded on the internet could possibly be put through facial recognition tech. and with the fact that there are cameras literally everywhere at all times now at this point it’s so fucking possible that if desired, someone could find out where you are at all times. and that gets SO scary when used by governments. are you comfortable with your government knowing where YOU are at all times? yes? what about if tomorrow your government is overthrown by a group of radicals you completely disagree with? you still comfortable with that? facial recognition is kind of a fucking pandoras box that we are opening and now that we have the technology available to us, unless we actively take steps back from it, it WILL eventually/already is being used in malicious, intensely privacy invasive ways.

and everything in that above bullet point goes for ALL DATA COLLECTED ON YOU, EVER. everything you’ve ever said on facebook is probably put through some multi layered neural network fucking robot who is learning how to understand what humans say on your input and also cataloging things about you as a person. it is doing SO MUCH more than reading the exact text of what you are saying and then picking up on keywords. neural networks are an attempt to copy how humans think by making an artificial version of a brain basically. in simple terms it’s a map of points and connections and you feed it data for a while and tell it what the desired outcome should be. it will adjust those connections and the weight of those points based on your data and expected outcome. that change in connections and weights is how it learns. then after a while it has fed on enough data that it will begin to expect what your desired outcome is. now imagine millions and millions of connections and points. it’s fucking huge. you ever hear about how we don’t know how machine learning/deep learning/neural networks works? this is that. it’s because they are so large and they have changed their weights and points so much that we no longer understand how it makes its decisions. ml is on a deeper level starting to understand what you mean when you say words. like a human. and can pick up nuances humans cannot because of its perfect memory. do you understand how scary this is? do you? i really do not know how to express this better how absolutely buckshit wild and terrifying the idea that everything i say online can be scraped and put through a robot and a profile on me and who i am and my ideals can be gathered almost instantly. how hard would it be to write a scraper that goes to my blog and grabs the text of every post in my talk tag? and then there’s free and open source nlp software (or you can pay for it) and you can feed in everything ive said on this blog ever. you can go to my facebook. you can go to my twitter. you can find my profiles on every online platform ive ever used and take everything ive ever said and determine what kind of person i am based on that. and then you can then make further distinctions based on that data. (sidenote: facebook wouldnt have to scrape the data on my profile, it’s all in their databases already. they have everything ive ever posted on public or private, on my old profile i’ve deactivated, every photo ive posted or been tagged in, everything ive ever uploaded to their servers or have been associated with.) and someone or robot can make decisions about me based on that data. it could just be am i likely to buy [this product] or it could be something much more like am i a threat? am i dangerous to you, the person using this data about me? what are my politics? what are my views on [this topic]? are they too extreme? should i be denied [real life thing] based on what this machine has determined about me from my data online? not to sound fucking crazy, but you ever watch that episode of black mirror? nosedive? and its system where you can rate interactions with people? how this one girl was trying to increase her ranking so she would qualify for a cheaper price on housing? how we’re already starting to see things like this in real life with china’s social credit system?

call me a fucking wack job but i think it’s so deeply creepy that we have digitized so many aspects of our lives and leave machines we no longer understand how they make their decisions to analyze every bit of data about ourselves.

by the fucking way facebook tracks data on people WHO DO NOT USE FACEBOOK. FACEBOOK TRACKS DATA ON PEOPLE. WHO. DO. NOT. USE. FACEBOOK. are you scared? i am.

i’ve been thinking about this tweet from @/malwaretech on twitter from a few days ago. text: On a serious note, social media tracking is more extensive than you may think. For example: those Facebook 'like' buttons you see on every website? They call home. If you're logged into your FB account, it records that you visited that web page, even if you don't click 'like'. doesn’t that sound a lil fucked up to anyone else? that facebook knows that i visited that webpage even though i did not tell it? that it will use that data to build a better profile on what my interests are and that it will use that data to better sell ads to me? i’ll be honest i am unsure of if facebook sells that information to other vendors. i think that might be not allowed but i wouldn’t be surprised if that data somehow got into the hands of people who arent facebook.

the fact that for the longest time you could NOT get your data deleted from facebook? that even if you deactivated your account facebook would still keep all of that in their shit ass servers forever? as far as i know, that’s changed now, but i would not at all be surprised if the next day it was revealed that facebook was Actually Keeping all that info anyways

the fact that by default facebook’s privacy settings are set to allow anyone to see most info about you? just this whole opt out culture is so fucking wack. it should be opt in. your privacy settings should default on the MOST PRIVATE and it should be up to you to ACTIVELY SEARCH OUT how to change them to public. it is ON FACEBOOK to actively cultivate privacy but of fucking course they don’t.

lmao cambridge analytica politics russia brexit trump. i don’t have the energy to even open this fucking can of worms but i will say that again, another layer of deeply fucked up that political campaigns can use that data to try to coerce or influence elections.

do you remember when in 2019. yes twenty. fucking. nineteen. 2019. two thousand and nineteen. 2019. i dont know how more to stress how recent but late this is. 2019. facebook admitted that it and instagram were still. STILL. STILL. S T I L L. storing passwords as plaintext? meaning your password that is “password123ilovedogs” is stored AS “password123ilovedogs” in their database. it is STANDARD AND EXPECTED PRACTICE that websites store SECURE hashes of passwords (not like fucking. md5 or something) meaning you do a bunch of fucking “irreversible” math on the password and store that instead of the actual password itself. so the db would be storing “298!79v@w8W#R;3,f9jf” instead of your actual password. anyways face. fucking. book. was storing passwords as plain text. which means if they ever have a data breach on their passwords db then all that data inside will just be your actual goddamn password. your actual goddamn password. what the fuck? what the fuck? and we still use this website? we? me? i use this website daily? i use this website on a daily fucking basis and allow it to continue to collect information on me? im so goddamn angry.

the fact that now in this day and age you are considered weird for not having any social media? super fucked up. the fact that employers will check your social media and if you don’t have one that is somehow a red flag? weird as hell. why must we participate in the world’s largest data collection scandal ever just to be a member of society? i cannot choose to opt out. facebook collects data on me even if i do not have an account. society expects me to have some form of social media and if i do not then that i am the weird one for it. if you choose to live a life of trying not to be tracked it is almost impossible. can you live your life in modern society without an email address? without a smartphone or laptop? there is an expectation that every person is available to communicate with digitally and if you find the practice of data collection abhorrent and don’t want to use websites that do so, then you’re the weird one who has a LOT of society’s services unavailable to you.

im not going to even touch on the psychological effects that facebook and social media have on people other than to ONCE AGAIN, say they are very real and deeply fucked up.

by the way check out haveibeenpwned. enter your email and it’ll check against databases to see if your email has been on recent dumps. i have been. lately there have been a few older accounts of mine that have been breached and it’s terrifying.

fuck jesse eisenberg man he fucked over spiderman crazy

fuck faang. fuck big tech. fuck data collection. btw edward snowden is a hero. fuck all of this.

104: The future: man we’re in for it. i am not optimistic about it at all. too much tech progression / not enough foresight / expansion/globalization of the world / global warming / political and economic issues are all coming to a head to make the world a fucking disaster.

96: Changed a diaper: never done it! i am not around children often.

88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: having a vague idea of where things are locally. im very bad with directions.

86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: answered already.

84: People call me: yeesa, apparently. i have a fair amount of nicknames but i just call myself teresa.

82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: sure haven’t though i deserve one

80: The first person i talked to today was: soph​ because she wakes up at a normal goddamn time so i’ll sometimes have a text from her from a few hrs ago

76: Right now I am talking to: milo and a discord server im in for a group of friends i made when i was applying to college. though i havent responded in quite a while since i went on my angry facebook rant.

74: I have/will get a job: well i HAD a job for the beginning of the summer when i was a TA but i do not any more as that was first summer semester only. hopefully in the fall i’ll have a job as a TA again but who knows. and then after that when i graduate i hope hope hope hope hope i will have a job lined up.

72: Today: woke up. made a plum smoothie. played minecraft. took a nap. here i am. it’s all very riveting.

70: Next Weekend: it’ll happen for sure. odds are i will be waking up and eating food and coming on the internet and chatting with friends and doing a bit of writing and trying to learn a bit more html.

68: The worst sound in the world: answered already.

66: People that make you happy: will roland lmao. 

64: My friends are: well it’s basically the same people i tagged in my last post on people who make me happy.

62: My School: you tryin to doxx me? it’s alright. not the best for my major. and also stupidly trying to reopen for the fall because theyre greedy and idiots. it was like my 5th choice school but it is what it is.....

60: I lose all respect for people who: already answered

58: Your hair color is: black as fuck. im east asian.

56: Favorite web site: controversial but archive of our own dot org i guess. i believe in their mission and like how they have advocated for fans and have created a fan-owned space on the internet. they’re not perfect but i overall support them.

54: The worst pain I was ever in was: answered already

52: My room is: a time capsule of what i liked in late middle school/early high school.

50: Where would you like to be: im fine where i am. maybe visiting friends though. i would like to Hang With Them and Do Fun Activities.

48: Ever been in love: who’s to say....... what is love? (baby don’t hurt me). but for real the concept of love is weird to me, especially romantic love. i don’t know. i’ve certainly obsessed over people. i’ve noticed i kind of “pick people” to have crushes on. i can’t really say why. but then it creates a feedback loop of i pay more attention to them -> i think more about them -> i like them more. so i’ve made conscious decisions that have lead to me obsessing over people.

46: More guy friends or girl friends: girl but that’s just because people in fandom spaces tend to be women and most of my friends ive made through fandom.

44: One person that you wish you could see right now: kaity is coming to my town but we cant see each other because of a pandemic so im kinda fucking miffed about that. i didn’t get to see maria before she left my state so i’m also miffed about that.

42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: lmaooooo no. i would just like to be satisfied with my life. would like to see friends. do fun things with them. 

40: Last person I got mad at: idk im not generally a mad person. mark zuckerberg probably.

38: I wish I was a professional: as in i suddenly have all the skills and talent needed to be a professional? i think a director &|| writer tbh. i would love to have the Creative Vision necessary to come up with dope ideas AND translate what i have in mind into real life. i would love the ability to be able to tell compelling stories that mean a lot to people.

32: Athlete: lmao if it was 2008 or 2012 i would ahve said ryan lochte but nevermind. idk. maybe katie ledecky.

24: Movie: am not much one for movies...... star trek 2009.

16: Book: i don’t know how to read.

8: Yankee candle scent: idk about yankee candle specifically but i love the smell of apple. 

return of hunty

soooo we’re back!! with some really old recaps that ive been too lazy to polish and publish. so, eps 29-32

so i have no idea wtf all that talk abt pores was but i guess gon and killua can do nen now. cool!

they rlly like, figured all that shit out in a few hours huh. these fuckgin nen prodigies hvbajkshdfbjskf

time to wade thru hisokas nasty vibes again

this felt like a video game and gon and killua tried to face a boss but were sent on a sidequest first lmao 

smh just let gon punch you hisoka. then you can leave hopefully

wow some busted bitches are tryin to start shit w/the boys. i can tell these fools are gonna get rekkt 

oh goody gon is gonna fight spinny guy. he looks like that claw guy from s1 of mp100

i hate that they wont stop talking abt this guys ‘tops’ hvbahdfbjskjf

theres a lot of like. strategy and shit going on

oooh gon hiding his presence just like he did when tracking hisoka! you little prodigy you

gon breaking his arm again :( buddy please

well rip the dream i guess, youll get em next time gon 

killua scolding gon for being reckless and stuff...just say you were worried abt him gayboy 

that promise thread is weirdly cute 

killua being like ok wing if you dont teach us nen we’re gonna go out and do it anyways so yeah. hes so rude and blunt i love him 

meanwhile, KURAPIKA!!!!!!!!!!! i missed u omg

kp wya. this place looks sketchy

ah, kurapika has to learn nen too now 

whos this guy. is he gonna teach kurapika nen 

YEP TOTALLY 

why do i feel like we’re not gonna see leorio at all during this....my man i miss u too

ah, lovely timeskip lol

gon is so bouncy. baby boy ily and your scary improbable healing time

killua calling gon weird....you guys are BOTH weird ok 

damn so hisoka has lost fights before, wild 

or guess not, if he just didnt show up lmaooo what a bastard man 

how funny would it be if this random guy defeated hisoka before gon could even fight him lmaoo

welp guess gon isnt gonna watch the match. im sure killua can fill him in

killua rlly just snuck into this dudes room huh

kastro: [teleports behind killua] NOTHING PERSONAL, KID

killua asking for an autograph lmao u aint slick boi 

hmmm i wonder if these two will fight later on 

then again i dont think this arc is that long so??? whats even gonna happen here??? is it just gonna be the gon vs hisoka fight that the OP has been promising this whole time???

kastro v hisoka go

YESSSS get punched hisoka. so good

FUCK HIM UP KASTRO.

i doubt thisll last but its good rn

LIMBS R FLYING....this is WILD bro. hisoka is so smug ughhhh i wanna punch him too 

damn this bitch knows clone jitsu 

ultimate attack time! i feel like the other shoe is abt to drop and hisoka is abt to fuck kastro up 

THIS BITCH RLLY OUT HERE DOING A MAGIC SHOW HUH. jesus hisoka ur just...the worst

now hisoka has ZERO arms lord jesus

he really his kastro w/his own severed arm. god

kastro: what the fuck is happening right now

me: YEAH DUDE TELL ME ABOUT IT

aw man there goes kastro. rip you dramatic bishie legend, you never stood a chance 

OOOOH cool lady who are you. her powers are kinda creepy but also cool. is she like, a doctor??? 

how does hisoka know her i wonder. shes cool tho i like her already

wow hisokas powers are weird. thats pretty on par tho 

OH? PHANTOM TROUPE??? so machi is in the phantom troupe...oh boy now im conflicted abt liking her 

AND HISOKAS IN THE PHANTOM TROUPE???? lmao ok then! i guessed that he knew them somehow but i didnt think he was a member...that doesnt seem like his MO 

killua: that was wild. anyways lets train

please punch hisoka right out of the story gon

OH GOD OH LORD H*SOKA SHOWER SCENE I DONT WANT THIS AT ALLLLLL

ruth and i were literally just screaming throughout this whole thing. absolutely horrifying

OH JK I GUESS HISOKA IS JUST PRETENDING TO BE IN THE TROUPE. fuckgin typical lmaoooo

i do wonder why tho, like what are his motivations to pretend to be in the troupe...connections? money? convenience? just sowing chaos? guess we’ll see, cause im assuming hisokas going to yorknew to meet w/them

i wanna set hisoka on fire w/my mind. get him OUTTA HERE 

also its so fucked up seeing hisoka w/out makeup and w/his hair down UGH I HATE IT he should NOT look ‘normal’ ever he should always look like the clown that he is 

anyways thats it for now! and im temporarily suspending the predictions corner segment since i was too lazy to add it when i actually watched these eps, so now i have no idea what my predictions were. alas

Teach me you wYAS HOW DID YOU GET YOUR MOTHER TO WATCH WHY R U IVE BEEN LOSING MY GODDAMN MIND EVER SINCE I READ THAT YOU DID THAT IM CRYINF-LAUGHING YOURE??????? LIKE.

gsdllkfdslk your message amuses me greatly ahahhaha

well, this is going to be long, so buckle up…..

(putting this under a read more as to not spam anyone’s dash)

ooook so first of all let me start by saying my mom and i share a great interest in stories. another important fact is that my mom went to drama school in her late 20s and while being an actress wasn’t her career path she still has an interest in acting and when she watches stuff she always takes note of how the cast approaches their roles and their acting, often telling me about the things she notices and how the actors do well. she also has a passion for music, singing, and dancing.

now for how i got my mom to watch why r u… actually i didn’t, she was the one who came up to me and asked to watch it lmaooo

and how that happened, this story actually goes back to 2018 when i was rewatching the first season of this japanese show (good morning call) bc a 2nd season had come out. and one late afternoon/evening i was watching the show “on the big screen” aka via our projector in the living room. and my mom came home and saw a glimpse of the show was like “what are you watching” and i was like “wanna join” and since she didn’t have anything to do that evening i restarted the first season that evening, but with her this time. (funfact: we ended up binging the 2nd season in one single sitting that lasted till like 5 or 6 in the morning 😂) and while watching this show my mom noticed that the japanese had a different approach to acting and telling stories through film than what she was used to/grew up with here in the western world.

so not long after that there was a chinese show in her netflix recs and after the japanese show having sparked her interedt in asian media she started watching it out of curiosity and now chinese drama is pretty much all she’s been watching ever since 😂😂

fast forward to quarantine in 2020 and i get super into why r u after seeing a gifset on tumblr (it’s my first and only bl i’ve ever watched. the only other thai thing i’d seen before why r u is that one lesbian movie “yes or no” which i absolutely adore). anyway, my mom and i often talk about the things we’re into (i’ll mention my current obsessions to her and she’ll in turn tell me about the things that she’s into) and ofc i mentioned really having gotten into this thai show (i had also started to learn to read thai so my family really couldn’t miss my obsession lmao)

and my mom got curious about how thai media might differ from chinese media and so at some point she was like “hey let’s watch your thai show together”. and so we did (it was the week right after ep 12 had aired) 

also she made me watch a chinese drama with her in turn lmaoooo

and well, the other day she was on viki and they had added love by chance. she recognized saint on the thumbnail and so she started watching it and bc of that she’s now rewatching why r u. without me. (can you believe this woman)

and since in the tags i also mentioned getting my mom into kpop without having an interest in kpop myself i’ll tell the story too for anyone who’s curious: 

in 2017 i spent some months in italy taking italian classes and one of my closest friends from my course was this guy from south korea who is an absolute cinnamon roll of a person (and the only person from my time abroad i'm still in touch with 3 years later) and yeah, through him i got an interest for the korean culture and we had this ongoing joke that i needed to learn korean. and so a year later i was like “hey, why not learn korean for real” and started playing around on an app. 

and to get a feeling for the korean language and its sounds i ended up watching a korean variety show for some time. and there was this one kpop guy who had a really adorable personality and when i had watched the last ep with him on the show i decided to look him up bc the eps i was watching had been filmed a few years before that and i wanted to know what his personality was like outside of the show and in present time.

and that guy being a kpop idol ofc i stumbled across some music videos and i watched one and i heard the song and i was like “i NEED to show this to my mom. that sounds exactly like a song she’d like”. so i went to her, showed her the song/mv and well, now she’s a kpop stan while i still don’t have much of an interest in it lmao (not to bash on kpop tho, i don't listen to music a lot anyway, and that goes for western pop just as well)

op oc #3: APRIL

im baaaaaaack

u are about to read about my prime DAUGHTER april. the rogue princess. a real pokemon! hahahhahaha she nabbed herself the AURA AURA FRUIT yo this is wild so get ready to learn about ol’ blue eyes!!!!!!!!!!

NAME: april (i dont have a surname for her i cant think of anything and ive had her for 8 years im sorry) EPITHET: “aura shooter” ooOOoOOoOoo AGE: 18 (pre) 20 (post) BIRTHDAY: april (incredible would u have ever guessed) 5th!!!  BIRTHPLACE: nimbasa island in the south blue SEX: female HEIGHT: 5′6″ WEIGHT: 122lbs HAIR COLOR: sandy brown EYE COLOR: blue APPEARANCE: before she escaped her home, she wore an icy blue dress underneath a navy blue cloak and her hair down with a CROWN of course but she hated wearing it a lot. her hair when worn down reaches the middle of her biceps. after she escaped she ONLY wore her hair in a ponytail and she always wore a red bandanna with a white arch atop her head at all times!! it was a gift from her mamma the QUEEN herself. she also wore a white t-shirt with red triangles bordering the collar and the ends of her sleeves. does that make sense? i sure hope. she wore a red sash around her waist and then she popped on some black pants and boots. real piratey. also some of her hair kinda pops out in the front so theres a good chunk that sometimes covers her left side. look at u go princess. AFTER the timeskip she cut her hair so it reaches just above her shoulders, and instead of wearing her hair up and with the bandanna, she wears it down but with a black headband. her bandanna is tied around her left bicep (fashion inspo: zoro). she wears a green sleeveless crop top, and theres a scar that reaches from the back of her shoulder to the end of her collarbone. she earned that shit from her wild timeskip training. oof. shes ok. she wears light-washed pants and some addidas-lookin shoes lmao she also wears a rly loose belt too. also she has gold earrings and thas about it. her eyes are round and just v pretty and blue. her nose turns up at the end just a tad bit and it’s so cute she’s so cute. she has a dimple on the right side of her mouth. her mommas face :’) shes fairly skinny but after the timeskip she gained some muscles made 4 punching douchecanoes  REPRESENTATIVE SMELL: vanilla FAVE FOOD: pasta FAVE DRINK: lemonade  FAVE SEASON: fall REPRESENTATIVE NATIONALITY: australian BOUNTY: initial bounty was 60,000,000 (for being runaway royalty) but after dressrosa she SKRTED up to 155,000,000 DEVIL FRUIT: aura aura fruit a paramecia type. the fruit allows the user to manipulate their energy. with the aura aura fruit, users are able to detect the aura of others, repel the aura of others, and project their own. the power of aura is mood-sensitive and can change a lot. can u believe april is lucario 6 forms of aura: red is physical nature, orange is intelligence, yellow is sheer willpower, green is healing, blue is emotion, vioilet(i THINK) is mental communication. i forgot what i wrote down for the aura types lmaoooo the biggest drawback of this fruit is that the user can only use a limited amount at one time. another drawback is that they cant manipulate other people’s aura??? it’s rly hard to explain this but trust me it makes sense when it’s put into action i promise SKILLS SET: most of her attacks are used with red aura since it relates to physical nature. wild. “aura bullet” is just shootin aura goodbye. i love pokemon. lmao. uh “aura detect” is when she can see what someone else’s aura looks like, so basically she can determine if someone is a bastard or not before they even open their mouth. “aura clone” clones herself with aura and that takes a LOT of effort to pull this one off especially when she wants to use multiple clones. “aura bomb” yo this one is wild she uses it for diversions and escaping since it kinda acts as a smoke bomb but when she uses this thing in battle OOOOH BOY. “starstorm” ok this is like the “im going to die after i do this move” kinda thing. it combines all the damn types of aura and it just RAINS down on ppl. goodbye april. anyways there are more basic moves but i dont rly wanna get too into that rn im sorry PROFESSION: runaway princess lol CREW: straw hat pirates  PERSONALITY: an easygoing girl. v mellow for the most part but there are times where she can get pretty goofy (thanks jack). if the wrong buttons are pushed, she becomes a HURRICANE. she does have confidence issues but since she met luffy, she’s really started to overcome them. shes got a horrible habit of being sarcastic and also she asks a LOT of questions holy SHIT honey. she is TERRIFIED of heights so when franky lays down a good ol coup de burst, her soul leaves her body. g o o d b y e. she was very cold when she first met luffy and the gang bc she lived with the person who killed her mom AND jack left sooooo she was a little bitter. eventually she learned to rly live with the mugiwaras. when she first joined the crew, she was very shy and timid and tried hard to fit in. she was SO intimidated by zoro like he genuinely scared the fuck out of her so she always tried hard to not be a Fool around him but once she got comfortable with everyone she just had a good ol time. “hey grassy ass!! :))” “can u fucking not call me that”. she has the CUTEST laugh oh me oh my. honestly just a rly passionate gal, she just wants to be strong and be able to protect her pals. refuses outside help. bros out with luffy and usopp and chopper sometimes but also judges them from afar like nami does. it all just depends on the day. truly. i once wrote a series of one-shots where each one was an adventure that april had with one other straw hat. luffy was the first one, and THAT was wild. zoro’s was fucking baller. so on and so forth. rly shows off her dynamic with each member. april? shes honestly just a good person and im proud of her bc she works so hard  LIKES: training, traveling, every single animal ever, reading DISLIKES: heights, the marines, the heat, people who walk horrifically slow in crowded places WEAPON(S): aside from her devil fruit shes got a dagger she sometimes uses. jack gave one to her right before he left HISTORY: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO king jed and queen serena had a baby girl. APRIL. that made her the princess. anyways she grew up as any princess would--spoiled. however the spoiling never got to her head bc serena was so good about teaching her things like that. serena was a goddess i love her pls come back. serena was wildly popular with the citizens of the kingdom bc of her caring and friendly personality. she would always take april into the kingdom every day and pay visits to the citizens. out of all the citizens they paid visits to, the most common faces she saw were those of the solo family. cain was jed’s most talented and trusted knight. he and his wife celeste had 2 kids: jack and sho YO. jack was 7 yrs older than sho and 3 yrs older than april. april and jack became fast friends and often explored the kingdom together. regular kid stuff u know. jack’s mom was always like “jack NO u CANNOT take the PRINCESS to the farms thats FILTY” hahahah but they went anyway.  jed? a dark man. idk who hurt him or what made him so murderous. but. he was tired of serena treating the citizens like equals. he believed that royalty should be viewed as gods.  when april was 8 jed killed serena oh god there it is theres the tragic anime mom death. as soon as serena died, the dynamic of the kingdom instantly changed. soon after jed took total control, people began leaving the island. eventually, the island became so empty that only a handful of families remained. jed did not allow april to leave the castle at all, and with that rule, it damaged the friendship that she and jack had. ofc around that time jack’s dad ran off as well so he stopped tryin to visit her for a bit. but then once he got back into his groove hed sneak all about, avoiding the night patrols, and hed just sit outside of april’s window and talk to her.  when april was 11 she discovered a devil fruit hidden away in the trashed artifacts that belonged to her mother. she ate the devil fruit and was like “now im strong, fight me JED” but lol she got her ass whooped poor bby when april was 16 jack left the island, leaving her completely and utterly alone. the exposure to such loneliness began to change april into a more reserved, bitter person.  2 yrs later the STRAW HATS stumbled upon the island. at that time april had started a habit of sneaking out of the castle to roam the empty streets of nimbasa, but during one of her strolls, she encountered robin, franky, and brook. she ended up knocking them unconscious bc she felt threatened. the second group she met consisted of zoro, chopper, and sanji. they had been captured by guards and were brought into the throne room to be interrogated by jed. april was required to be there as well so she kinda sat in her throne and looked mad the entire time. sanji was like “NO WHY DOES SHE LOOK SO MAD SHE NEEDS TO BE HAPPY” and zoro was like “ive never seen someone so happy to see my face” and chopper was just having a crisis bc they were abt to be tossed into the shadow realm at the hands of the king. zoro got mouthy and jed didnt have none of that shit so he told april to kill zoro but she just knocked him out instead. that pissed jed off. THE NEXT person she met was luffy. she only met luffy bc he infiltrated a banquet thing by sitting underneath a cart. classic luffy. she didnt meet nami and usopp until WAAAAY later. yadda yadda yadda shit goes down (i wrote a whole arc for this. it’s called the princess and the pirates lmao original but yes i wrote an entire arc for her recruitment and it’s A Lot) ANYWAYS luffy asked her to join the crew but she declined at first bc she thought pirates were just like her father: power-hungry and murderous. however that obv changed when she was exposed to the straw hats more when luffy defeated jed who ate the ___ ___ fruit (tbh i forgot what fruit he ate im sorry) she KNEW she belonged with the straw hats. :’) she still be sailin with the legends. shes had some wild times obv. her arc comes a bit after thriller bark. woopie!!!!!!! like always, lemme know if u wanna know more about her!!!

@flootweed ​

ATOTS

That's super fucking romantic? Like tragic but in a nice way. i love that shit. i'm a monogamous slut for romance pghiosuag even tho we have to learn to live alone too but it's just like the NOTION is nice?!??! awwww i told my mom that SOPHIE's gf was like "she died taking a picture of the moon" and how it was like idk. the gf was just processing it and she thought it was romantic and my mom was like "wow.....depressing" bc think she thought it was stupid millenial shit i was like no mother doent u see she died in the BEAUTY LMAO but then i told her jessica walter's husband died the year before and then she died and she was like "aw...kind of romantic" LMAOOOO i guess two people have to die. why did i tell this story? i am so sorry. the show ended today right (ep 10?) i didn't realize it was that short. so i hope it was a happy ending? (tell me) i understand why you love the atmos! it's like, not really been done. there's this BL that i hear isn't too great but it does take place in a rural part of thailand and there's way less budget. a lot of ppl seem to like it. ep 6 LW / LW in gen gotta be honest, rushed through it. i knew spoilers from jump cause BL spoilers are just absolutely nothing and sometimes ur just like i need to know. i do not understand the ~silently lookin 4 u~ trope it always backfires and is also DUMB. so happy about tiffy. a girl who likes girls but ends up with a man bc of mommy and also the man is ok....it's me. she's gorgeous and actually [h*lf] gay so it's great. god ok i feel so old again. lmaooo but i was like obsessed with lady gaga for that reason (dont ask...also how i got kinda popular on tumblr way back in the day) and shes just absolutely fucking beautiful and bad ass. (which kind of doesnt helpcos they r all skinnty but that's FINEEEE) right? i mean like i guess cos we knew abt it? i can see why he was so pissed off, too? i mean i'm so fucking like...sensitive to being told what to do so i was angry for him from jump. i guess i was also looking at it different wholetime cos i knew the spoilers? i'm assuming u did too lmao. so we knew hed be pissed and leave. and frankly that's what sib gets. just for you my friend i will watch it and update. i think MANY times in shows in gen but it is something you notice a lot in BL bc they are just absolute novices most times. in this case, gene's actor mostly well (and i like him as a person just cos he was on that thai 3 girls in a car show and used to date on eof them lmao) can act so i will look over that scene to see how sib's actor plays off him. but the pausing in between sentences or for so long even decent actors or actors doing better. kao is not bad, not great so they will talk slowly because dramatic acting but the problem is most times it's too long. even if the person is an adept actor it won't always work and YES THEN THAT MEANS THE EDITOR COMES IN AND SNIP SNIP SNIP! it's too long. and sometimes it just does not work even if you can act. but it is GLARING when they cant or are average (someoe said this about tharntype and my god lmao tharn..is...so...slow...in...talking...the actor idk his name it's one of em, the other one with the nose (type) is....different not better but he certainly does not talk as slow. they arent bad but they are not good so.) also sometimes they are forgetting their lines. some ppl find this charming. clearly we do not lmao. what is their relation? what is going on there? i don't have a problem with stepbrothers as long as they didn't grow up with that sibling bond. many times blended families really have to watch out for that kind of fraternizing but it's always when theyre older and teenagers bc they didnt grow up w/ each other....i mean they have chemistry so i'm whatever. but. hennYYWAYYYS.actually it's bc im an idiot i didn't read it as Mhok (singular) and aey's father. Yes and his sister who i think i may hate? im like bitch okkkkkk but. his name is lhong. and he is a psycho. i mean so is type. so. oooh it could be that he stole! but also i'm pretty sure cos hes gay lol or did they

not make that explicit? the thing is i had to skip through most of that scene too because the drama was WAY too much for me. too much. lmao. the sister thing i got and it made sense and iliked that. oh yea he is gay and they know. that's a big one.

WBL

haven’t watched color rush! did you like it? i have seen wyel, parts of mr heart, and ofc to my star :) 

ohhhhhh ok. i get you. yea he definitely wasn’t being ooc cos i think that....what u said. and also like....ugh i cant even think rn. i like sam lin a lot so i like gao shi de but i gotta say. lmao. hm. first of all. yes it is creepy what he did. it’s fucking weird. and sad that his whole life revolves around him. it’s not as fucking weird as LW but still like when he did the door thing. i was like UMMMMMMMMM cos i really didnt want it to be constructed. and when it was i was like imma suspend my disbelief. but if anyone dared...

and so what he did in s2 i think he just couldnt realize that he was loved back which is why it’s good he WAS ALONE for 5 yrs imo. but he gave shu yi 0 choice and for that i am pretty sure i would be even angrier. i do think though that the father’s role is pretty important but i can see how the show is like....letting that go? bc as fucking weird as GSD is, he was still like...20? i guess and shu yi’s dad is like. crazy? i am also like he really had to fucking start a company to get noticed like are u joking? is it also that easy? and also why? lmao i just. ugh. i think that probs bothered me the most...priorities.

i like the show! well idk if i love it but sure. i think it’s decent lmao. i understand what you’re saying. for here it bothers me less but i certainly don’t think it was OOC. immature and stupid but like...that’s.....what they are. i also don’t have a problm with the timing from a technical point.

however, when i started the show? i had NO clue what concept of time it was. and that was very annoying. tehy redeemed it bc of the comedy aspects (the first time shu yi sees shi de is so fucking good, i really loved the shot and editing; it’s hilarious and silly) and i started to go with the flow of the show through that. but the fucking concept of time in the show in general esp with repetitive outfits (i understand that they are more likely to wear multiple outfits as well, it’s just that you have to split it up or it i sconfusing visually and looks like the same scene twice or just a full day of shooting which it could be but then something should change in the clothes. this is just an ex~~*~*) and partof that is they have this already controlled narrative i guess. 

i have to admit as well...i skipped episode 1. and most of 2. i was like i rly dont want to see someone slap a pereson even if they were like. not together. it’s just not cute also not in front of ppl. and then when they were yelling and bla bla i was like listen ladies lets calm down. too much angst in a boring way. what they have now is good. also they should probably like estrange the father but i doubt they will. 

i cannot make up my mind totally now bc i see what ur saying i guess i just don’t feel that way as much but i guess i have to think about it more, too. i do think he was contorlling in getting him or like when he didnt want shu yi to find out whwatshisface liked him. i guess for me it would be if he is still that way in the rship. but even tho he’s at fault for what happened, i’m also like but his dad? but also like...did he try? why did he just stop contacting? but then i guess he emailed everyday? DO U C MY QUANDARY.

alsoi have to say i do not care abt their backdoor being opened lmao like wow business? no thanks

LMAO. did they cry a lot in UWMA? i only know the teamwin parts. which one is fluke the really pale one who died? idk what it is about that kid but i just cant watch him. it’s not his fault it’s mine.

DUDE i still dont understand the husband and wife thing and ive looked into it multiple times. ive kinda just classified it as one of those things that make me uncomfortable but arent problematic lol. it you have any insight about it id love to hear it tho !!

it’s stupid. that’s what it is (husband and wife.) it’s just something they say like many gay couples may use pejoratives in conjunction with them, the f word etc. or even imply something about being a top and a bottom. whatever. but these arent gay spaces or gay storylines. sure gay men may direct them but since BL operates and relies on patriarchy without a doubt and also stereotypes poorly kathoeys or won’t cast trans women in anything substantial and use them as jokes (and see this is one of those things where it’s like...ud never see this in the US tho like our concept of third gender or kathoeys but life stillBOOOOO.) so it’s just useless when they put it into the scripts because it’s for people to consume and lots of girls are. obviously. so the idea that if you are being penetrated and u r the wife and this is used like literally anywhere but not from gay or whatever men is gross. are cis women’s vaginas sieves to them? are trans women not women? do we have to categorize people by PHALLIC OBJECTS IN OUR BODIES SPECIFICALLY A WOMAN? it dont make no sense. plus really most ppl just experiment, there’s more ways than one to have sex, we have lives so most times it’s not just full penetration for hours anyway. it’s just so gross. like oh that’s really funny lol ur the wife cos his dick goes in ur butt XD i get it, same. i say “i’m wife’ whenever there’s a penis in me. fucking kill me. it’s not a big deal but it’s just dumb and gross. if they use it they could try and subvert it too like i like how my engineer has  a whole absurdly stupid episode about it. but in TT the dad says “if ur the wife i wont accept it” and i was like u know what gals? im good. goodbye.

pgojaihousgajigko THAT’S SOOOOOOO OOWIEOFUGHOIJ WEIRD. FANDOM IS REALLY WEIRD. i have read rpf and written it once upon a time but dont do it anymore  uch. i mean it’s weird. no doubt about that. invasive, weird, strange. but very unreal anyway. it is. plus i dont like celebs or fame and think of it as a gross capitalist scheme so i had to stop (also so weird?) but i know very many people like lean in. lean in. LEAN IN. this youtuber i watch did a video on like insanely popular ships (like that 1d one) and their insane fandoms and i just couldnt. it’s so embarrassing? and then they’re so bold????? about it? 

yea it would be cool (more queer men or visibly we should say or like out whatever.) but it doesnt necessarily mean that will be good or beneficial i guess? i mean like. i dont know. so much about the genre is about wish fulfilment for young girls. its literally selling some fantasies because the other thing is for BL (i read a paper on this...) esp for girls in more conservative societies they cna maybe replace themselves in the character? but they may not feel a threat as a woman or like their life will fall apart if they engage in sexual things with anyone really. and that’s where i’m like....for a lot of these are they just writing a story and just replacing two men? bc they also seem to think it owrks like that. and in a way that’s what it is bc of the writing and how they use certain terms. you can tell the piece is about pushing a product and less about the real affects of a story. i think ITSAY is a great example of a really intelligent great piece of work that contains multitudes. and the girl was amazing. it just depends on the goal. and for most of the ppl the goal isnt...to do anything. so i dont know. idk how to talk abt representation anymore. it both is and isnt.

 i really liked tingting from my engineer a lot (idk if u have seen) she’s so fun and unapologetic. i love how much she drinks and if someone tells her to be ladylike she says no. and i appreciate that in the show when girls were rude to her she said nothing about the girls but said “NO IM NOT LUCKY TO HAVE ALL MALE FRIENDS?” i really want to see her more in the next season. obviously tiffy is goat. super excited to see how their rship develops.

gEt To KnOw Me

rules : answer the questions below, to the best of your ability, and tag those you’d like to get to know!

i was tagged by another gemini queen @kneesheee

nicknames : lit don’t have any haha

star sign : gemini

height : 5”2 ???

time now : 00:49

birthday : june 6th

fav artists : well bitches mr h styles, ill love that man til the day i die ,,, another fav is miss lana del rey. ive loads tho tbf but they’re my tops ill never drop

songs i have stuck in my head : Don’t Trust Me! 3OH!3

fav song (playlist) : fr harry styles i love sweet creature and fr lana del rey i love money power glory,,, my fav playlist are my tbt ones

last movie i saw : daddy’s home

last show i watched : i think it was riverdale but before that i watched an australian soap the secret daughter ??? (genuinely just watched it bc one of the songs in a pre-made playlist was in it Fallin’ by Jessica Mauboy)

when did you create your blog? : ah my first tumblr blog i made in my preppy "justgirlythings" phase so maybe like 2012-2013 i don’t have that blog anymore tho i got locked out haha

what do you post : normally just repost fics and post wtev

last thing i googled : used cars SINCE I CAN SOON START LEARNING HOW TO DRIVE YEEHAW

do you have any other blogs : yes hehe

do you get asks : nada ;(

why’d you choose your url : idk tf why did you chose yours ??? (i wanted to make a fan acc for my shows n watnot)

following : acc don’t know

followers : “ “

fav colours : red, white, black n green

av hrs of sleep at night : ah probs 6-8 or more

lucky number : 6 (bc im a cheeky gemini)

waywrn : pj set

how many blankets do you sleep with : a fecking duvet bud

dream trip : idk think id go to hawaii again and paris again and id love to go to australia

fav foods : i have a lot and it shows lmaoooo,,, um any filipino dish honni, id fuck up some mac n cheese , fucking would demolish a big fuck off bowl of corn rn tho

nationality : irish

daz me done lads idk who to tag i feel like everyone i knowz been tagged already so im literally just typin from the group chat xxx @bby-simone @cultreggie @sweetpeasnecktattoo @melancholicserpent @southsidepea @podsquadallofye

Lie- Part 8

Pairing: Jimin x Reader

Genre: Angst / Fluff

Summary: There was a time when you loved him and he hated you. Now you hate him, but does he love you?

Parts: 0 // 1 // 2 // 3 // 4 // 5 // 6 // 7 // 8 // 9 // 10 // 11 // 12 // 13 // 14 // 15 // 16 // 17 // FINAL

“I’ll only show you this one time…” Jimin mumbled. “And only if you promise not to tell anyone else that I dance.” You were shocked. Were you really the only one who knew he was a dancer?

“I promise, Jimin.” You honestly had no intentions of telling anyone anyway. It would be a secret kept between you and him.

You sat quietly on his bed and waited for him to show you his dance, not knowing what to expect. The boy just stood there for a moment and scrolled through his phone. He took his time “searching for the right music”, although you noticed some reluctance in the way he bit his lip. The longer he took, the more you could tell he was nervous. And it didn’t make sense. At school, he was always so confidence and outgoing around others, so why was this any different?

After finally settling on a song, he danced without saying a word. He didn’t have a whole lot of space to move around in his cluttered room, but you were so taken by the way his body flowed. Everything was so precise and graceful. The way he extended his arms, his delicate sways to the music. You knew nothing about dance technique, but to you, he was flawless.

When he came to a stop, his eyes fell on you, as if to make sure you were still there. You looked back with heart eyes, unable to express your amazement in words. His quickly turned his head the other way, but not before you caught a glimpse of his rosy cheeks.

“What’d you think…?” Jimin’s voice was almost inaudible.

“I liked it,” you blushed. “I think you’re really amazing, Jimin.”

“I’m not really…”

“Have you ever thought about becoming an idol?” You imagined him performing in front of thousands of people. “I really think you could do it.”

“Huh? No way.” He shook his head. “Can we just work on the project now?”

-

You stared blankly at the textbook in front of you. Chemistry was already boring enough, but you really couldn’t focus at all because he had been on your mind ever since you left his dorm. After Jimin said he’d relay your number to Jungkook, the rest of your time in his room was painfully silent. He had asked you about college and how you were liking Seoul, but all you gave him one word responses and nothing beyond that. The only thing that saved you was when the other members came back to the dorm, giving you the perfect excuse to go home. You had to admit, you wished things would’ve turned out better that day.

“Um, Y/N? You okay?” Yoora waved her hand in front of your face to pull you out of your daze.

“What? Yeah, of course,” you lied. “I just don’t get this chemical bonding shit? Like, what even is a valence electron?? Why do atoms attract and repel just like people do?? How can a bond just fucking break like that?? Can I drop out of this class??”

“The professor literally just went over that stuff in class today…” She raised a brow at you. “Are you sure you’re okay? You’ve been a little off since the fansign.”

You thought you had concealed your Jimin problems pretty well, but your friend knew you better than that. And you felt bad that you were lying to her. But at the same time, you had to. “Well…”

“OMG. You fell for one of them, didn’t you??” A huge grin formed on Yoora’s face. “All it takes is one look, I swear. That’s how I sold my soul to Park Jimin.”

You made a face. Not only because she was wrong, but also because you wanted Jimin out of your head, and Yoora really wasn’t helping your cause.

Buzz! Both you and Yoora jumped at the sound of your phone. You didn’t want to open the text right in front of your friend, just in case it was from the love of her life. But it buzzed again, and the more you ignored your phone, the more suspicious you seemed.

You waited for until Yoora was distracted by something on her own phone—probably a Twitter update from Bangtan—and quickly checked your message.

3:04PM Unknown “hey! guess who jimin gave your number to #nochu” You had no idea what the fuck a nochu was, but you found the message extremely adorable. You had an urge to be playful, even if it was only through text.

3:05PM Y/N “yoongi?”

3:06PM Unknown “wrong!”

3:06PM Y/N “sugar?”

3:07PM Unknown “wHO THE HECK IS SUGAR??”

3:08PM Unknown “suga and yoongi are the same guy by the way”

3:10PM Y/N “hey im trying my best to learn all your names okay??”

3:11PM Unknown “but you know my name right?”

3:13PM Y/N “sure i do”

3:14PM Y/N “youre namjin”

3:17PM Unknown “OMFG byeeeeee”

3:18PM Y/N “jungkook wAIT”

3:18PM Jungkook “so you DO know my name ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)”

3:19PM Jungkook “i feel so special 🙈”

3:20PM Y/N “same tbh”

3:26PM Jungkook “soooo”

3:27PM Jungkook “are you free on saturday?” You stared at your phone, thumbs frozen in place. Was he actually asking you out on a date?

3:31PM Y/N “yea, why?”

3:32PM Jungkook “do you like bowling? all my hyungs hate it bc theyre scared of me lol”

3:33PM Y/N “ive never bowled before o.o”

3:34PM Jungkook “good. ill teach you on saturday then ok?” You giggled. He was quite a cute kid, and maybe he’d help keep Jimin off your mind.

3:34PM Y/N “okay!”

“What’s with that creepy grin on your face, Y/N?” Yoora snickered. “Did you get a boyfriend without telling me? Is that why you’ve been acting strange?”

“Haha very funny.” You debated on what to tell your friend. Maybe it would be okay to tell her some things, and leave out other details. Because you certainly weren’t going to tell her that you had once fallen for the same boy she now loved and adored. But maybe it’d be fine to say you’ve been messaging Jimin and Jungkook a little since the fansign. After all, Jimin did mention you could bring Yoora to meet them next time. “He’s not my boyfriend. But I did meet someone.”

“Whaaat?? Tell me!! Spill!”

“It’s a secret for now,” you said, “but I’ll tell you more about it if things go well!” The least you could do was be semi-honest with your one best friend, and you just hoped it all wouldn’t end up hurting her later.

A/N: I took high school chem once in my life and I honestly don’t remember wtf a valence electron is but I know it’s important so lmaoooo

40 questions because why not.

1.do you prefer to shower when you wake up or before you go to sleep?. Can I have both? I like to shower in the morning because I can clean off any  sweat I may have produced when I slept and it also helps me start my day. Before bed helps me unwind and clean off the germs of the day… but I may sweat in the middle of the night… hmmmmm I guess morning showers LOL 

2. does it bother you to sleep with the lights on. Yes, I really cant sleep with any type of light in the room. I always find myself waking up if I see light.

3. cigarettes, marijuana, or neither? Neither fam.  

4. beer, liquor, or neither? Liquor, I hate the taste of beer 5. what is the biggest impact you hope to make throughout your lifetime?  Probably being able to help someone with their journey get through the darkness of mental diseases. This is a part of the reason why i want to go into the field of psychiatry.  

6. what’s your favourite movie genres.  Uhhh, romantic comedies, animation, horror, fantasy, and anime (if that’s a thing) 7. puns or dirty jokes? Dirty jokes boiiiii. My pun game needs work 8. bubble bath, bath bomb, or bath salts. Probably bubble bath. I haven’t tried the other two. 9. you wake up to find you’ve traded places with a celebrity – who is it? Hmmm I don’t pay too much attention to many celebrities lives so I cant really answer 10. you wake up to find you’ve traded places with a fictional character – who is it? Probably Monkey D. Luffy from one piece. Hes always carefree, does what he wants, eats all day, goes on these dope adventures with his crew and will beat someone’s ass if they step to him wrong. I wouldn’t mind living a life like that for a day or two. Although Zoro is my favorite character I prefer luffys lifestyle a little more.

11. what are you wearing? A grey shirt and blue joggers? WHY YOU NEED TO KNOW HUH? 12. what is your earliest memory?. Crawling on my mom’s bed and she picking me up with a big smile while making  some kind of going up sound. I know I was a baby because even to this day she does that when she plays with other small children.   13. moon or stars? Stars because I like to lay down and count them. Also having sex under the stars is on my bucket list LOLOL 14. sunrise or sunset?. Sunrise.  I love the crisp air and quiet atmosphere of everything being asleep.  During times like that it feels the world is at a stand-still and I can take a second and breathe maybe even go for a jog. Oh and you cant forget the colors of the sky: they so purrrrdy . 15. what’s the best present you’ve ever received? The gift of life boiiiiii. Nah but for a material gift, I hate to say this but, probably a hand written piece of poetry my ex gave me. It a cheesy love poem that made my heart flutter at time. no one has ever done something that for me before so it was something special.  I haven’t looked at it in years and don’t plan on doing it any time soon. That bridge was burned  many years ago cuz fuck my ex lmaooo 

16. what’s your favourite scent? Vanilla or lavender. I use to use candles with those scents as a way to calm myself during a time of depression. In a sense, I associate them both with calmness 17. what do you think about when you need to be in a calm state of mind?  Thinking of myself as a flowing river. This concept came to me after witnessing a small stream on street carry away a twig during the rain. The way I saw it was that twig representing a problem of any sort and the water being my conscious. Basically my conscious developed the habit of analyzing the given problem and determines if it needs to be addressed now, later, or not even be addressed at all. It’s a way I practice mindfulness lol 18. what do you think about when you need motivation? “I know I can fucking do this, so let me stop being a bum and do it” sounds a little harsh but that’s how I get myself moving lmaoo

19. list 5 things you like most about yourself.

My personality

The melanin in ma skin

Dance abilities

Being able to push through most of my anxiety and depression

Kinky af 20. do you have many friends or do you prefer to keep a close circle? I have a small circle of true friends mostly because I dread small talk with new people because ive never been too interested in it with strangers and you know small talk is the best way to start friendships soooooo. I can say this though I have a large number of acquaintances and I probably wouldn’t mind building deeper friendships with them. 21. if you had the chance to be immortal exactly as you are now, would you take that opportunity? Although it’s a tempting offer, im going to say nah to immortality.  Sure, it would be nice to witness how the rest of history will unfold and being able to live forever but it comes at a high cost. The cost being that youll out live everything and everyone you love and cherish. Plus there will come a time when everything ends and you’ll be the only one left, wandering endlessly in the hallowed shell of what you once called home…. That got dark LOL #PessimismOnFleek

22. what do you think of when you wake up? I think of three things in this order:

“….need food”

“I wonder how kn is doing”

“what the fuck do I need to do today?”

23. what’s your favourite word? Breathe. This word helps me calm and recollect myself in time of anxiety and also allows me to take a second and appreciate life.   24. if you could change your name, what would you change it to? I would keep my name the same, I love it actually lmaooo

25. what would your name be if you were the opposite/another gender?  I asked my mom about this before and apparently I would have been a Diana lmaooo 26. turn ons? I have turn ons for both physical and personality

Physical: freckles or small moles on the face. Glasses (bring yo blind ass here girlll) a nice warm smile, long hair although I don’t mind short hair. Ticklish. Has a nice style

Personality: Really kindhearted, loves animals, willing to sit down and talk about finding a solution to our problem if we fight, motivated by a dream,  passionate about her craft or hobby, doesn’t mind carrying the convo at times, is comfortable with silence at times. Knowledgeable about things she finds interesting, does little things for me like buying me my favorite snack as a surprise for when she sees me.  Is comfortable with my level of kinkiness and sexual expression through words. Keeps up with and feeds off my dark, sexual, awkward humor. Not afraid to speak her mind.

27. turn offs? A girl that tries to have “the best of both worlds” basically flirting with multiple dudes at once. Has a history of cheating.  Completely selfish(only concerned with what I can offer her and no “what can I do for them”). The “im fine” text when we both KNOW something is wrong. Goes ghost out of nowhere. Liars. thinks relationships are temporary  and not looking for something long term (I hate wasting time). Treating other people like shit, fake (talks shit about someone then next thing you know they’re the best of  friends) entertains other dudes KNOWING damn well they have a thing for her.  Says “My feelings changed” (three words I despise)

28. kinks? Bondage, neck bites, ear nibbles, lip biting while kissing, biting any part of my body really lmao.(those three areas will rev me up real quick ) letting me pull her hair, licking/ kissing random spots on her body. heaving breathing….lots of it pls. dark colored knee socks/thigh highs if she wears those.. LAWDDDDD *nose bleed*(this could be a slight fetish).  Lap dances and strip teases (both combined as well)   29. what’s your “type”? Uhhh, never really had to think about it until now but glasses, long hair, older, the “social butterfly that’s lowkey and introvert” woke, wants to help me grow, supportive, caring will call me out on my shit, intelligent, high ass gpa (why is that relevant? Idk )

30. give a piece of advice. Everything happens for a reason. Whether you believe in a higher power or not, certain things occur in your life as a way to prepare you for the future, teach you something about yourself, or aid in your growth. You just have to stop and look at the positive in the situation. 31. do you fear death? Nah, but I do want to live my live to the fullest and live to be at least 96.   32. do you believe there is anything that exists after death? Ive juggled the idea around in my head and, similar to the person I snagged this questionnaire from, I definitely  love the idea of reuniting with lost loved ones in some kind of after live. I also like to believe reincarnation is a thing only because it would be dope to die and come back as a giant octopus lmaoooo, but seriously the idea of coming back to life as a different creature is fascinating 33. what expectations do you set for yourself? do you live up to them? Honesty, trying my best at whatever I do, always stay true to myself,  not being pressured ny others. I think I live up to these pretty well but recently ive decided to stop being passive of things that bother me so I guess im still working on that 34. are you a good friend? would you want to be friends with the type of friend that you are? I think im a pretty good friend. Im always down to listen and support my friends with whatever their endeavors may be. Im very chill, understanding, and mature so you don’t have to worry about me  creating drama of any sort. Yeah I would befriend myself if possible 35. dinosaurs or space? Dinosaurs because I’ve always found archaeology to be interesting and I actually love learning about history. I loved T-rexes ever since the first Jurassic park  film I saw. 36. do you believe in aliens?  If we as a species could evolve from particles who’s to say creatures on a distant planet couldn’t do the same? So I guess you could say I don’t deny the existence of them. 37. do you believe in ghosts? Not really but you’ll never catch me messing with an oujia board or casually exploring a proclaimed haunted house. Aint nobody got time for that (similar to the previous question I don’t deny their existence) 38. describe your style? Uses a LOT of dark colors. Its very simple and classy but nothing over the top. I love to wear beaded bracelets because I like fidgeting with them when im bored or anxious. Oh I like flannels as well. Idk if that paints a decent picture lmao 39. send me your name, I’ll post what I think your aesthetic would be. Bish whet? 40. post a photo of yourself? Look at my tumblr default lmao

I don't hate you nor do I wanna say that I want nothing to do with you but we’re going down a really bad path, our communication is disgusting and this whole thing has been exhausting overall. Im just annoyed that you never bothered to look at my perspective. You said all these things about wanting to make things work and giving it your all but you literally found a mistake or issue and then you easily gave up. You’re never going to be able to move on or continue long term relationships if you act like this. Just because issues arise and you tell someone how you feel, doesn't mean its not genuine anymore. No one is a mind reader, nor does anyone enter a relationship or have a thing with someone knowing exactly what you should fucking do. It’s a learning process, where it gives both of you a chance to constanly grow and understand each other. You may unintentionally hurt someone but If you continue to do the same thing, intentionally knowing its going to hurt the person next time, that's considered disrespectful. IF I treated you the way you treated me, I promise you- I would've stopped talking to you the night you told asked me if “I go around talking dirty to a lot of guys,” or telling me that you’re a mental thot etc. when we were at cardinal. But instead, I let you know how I felt about your statement, and once I saw your reaction, I chose to move forward with the issue. But you asking “dumb questions” isn't a valid excuse for your behaviour cause you questioned MY character when I hadn't given you a reason too. “Being genuine,” has to do with doing things from the bottom of your heart or a sincere action. When you went and got an iced coffee for me after work knowing id been craving one, that was genuine and super sweet because it showed that you actually cared. When I sent that video of me at the house party, which I sent to everyone because my streaks were dying and I didn't wanna snap my face, I wasn't aware of how upset you would've been. You still hold on to that and refuse to understand that I wasn’t intentionally being disrespectful. I always used snapchat as way to communicate with you because it was much easier and even though we weren't on the best terms during that time, I tried to show you and let you know where I was. You clearly weren't happy with my actions and asked that you’d rather have received a text. I noticed that you still refuse to understand where I was coming from, and continue to state how I should've just texted you instead. But since then we've stopped talking and I don't feel the need to let you know about my whereabouts anymore. You don't even care to understand how or why I approached things and instead you continue to hold a grudge for things that occur unintentionally. But Anyways, You shouldn’t have to ask someone to cut down their “partying lifestyle,” once they’re in a relationship with you because you either end up spending more time together, you go out together and do different activities or mostly end up partying together as well. But our situation was completely different. I could understand where you’re coming from if you and I were both in Brampton and I would constantly go clubbing every weekend without you and not care to even spend time with you. But student life here is literally a shit show. You tell me how there's club events and that you can easily go w your friends back home, but you guys chose to stay home and have “movie nights.” That’s cute to hear and all, but you don't LIVE with your friends. I do. We stay up till 4 am having deep talks, we have our game nights, we stay home study together, do nothing sometimes ALL week long. All i have is literally my roommates and sometimes im all alone w no one to talk too. I literally explained how Waterloo is so fucking boring and depressing and that's why people chose to party a lot, especially because that's how the community has been set up.There are more clubs and bars here than anything else. There are people that go to Phils and Brixton every week or every other week because they’re looking for some sort of outlet. You find it odd that people go out on a school night, but “Wednesdays are for Phils,” and Thursday are brixton nights, because that's the norm in Waterloo. When I said you don't have time for clubbing, I meant to say that you have better things to do. You have your family that you get to see everyday, you can drive around to way better places, you can visit your friends and go out and you can come home to dinner set on the table for you. The reason why I hate Waterloo is because it literally reaks of sex, drugs or clubbing. Reason why I don't mind clubbing now though is because my roommates made it fun. You didn't come to Waterloo nor did you wait to see how things would settle down after September. Instead you bottled everything inside and quickly exploded and judged me as a person. I have never gone to a club and danced on a guy. Even when I was single, I would only dance on gurleen when guys would approach us. When I was talking to you, regardless of the state of mind I was in, I was aware of who I was with and always had my back covered. Im claustrophobic af so I can't be in small spaces for too long and dancing on guys has never been my thing LOL. I love dancing like a drunk uncle at a wedding w my roommates in the emptier side which is why its tolerable. That’s why I always tell you there's better things that we could’ve done in Waterloo other than going to Phils because I would be too awkward to dance w you and you’d probably get second hand embarrassment of how I dance LMAO. I’ve never gone to a club w my significant other and I think there's way better ways to spend quality time but that doesn't mean I wasn't open to doing it w you. Even in the summer, I could have touched up clubs but geenu and I went on long drives, ate at nice restaurants, went on bike rides, did Zumba every week etc. If I was that obsessed with partying, I would go that extra mile cause I could've slept over at gurleens anytime. But I don't care, Instead I chose to go the extra mile for you and even stay past 4am out of my fkn house to hang out with you the first day we actually started talking. Thats why its upsetting because I thought you actually understood how I was. You told me, you didn't like when people drunk called you, especially cause your ex would say a lot of rude shit to you. When I drunk called you, I told you how I felt about you but  with more of an exaggerated depth. I was in a room full of people, intoxicated but you were the one person I was thinking about. Even when I was sober, I would still do that. But when you told me you didn't like that, I haven't drunk called or texted you after that because I respected your decision. If you bring up an issue with me, I always try my best to see things from your perspective because Im trying to understand why you feel that way and how we can both find a solution. IF I agree with you its because I realize that you have a valid point, NOT because im trying to make you happy, cause that’s honestly really draining. You said something along the lines of how you need A good girl, lmaoooo my bad for not being good enough :) Just because someone drinks or smokes or even goes out a lot regardless of it being clubbing or wherever it doesn't make them a good or bad person. Most of the rappers you listen to are out here doing coke and hardcore drugs. How come they’re not bad people? Connor Mcgregor and Nav post pics of them w blunts in their hand. But you still look up to them?! Your friends smoke weed and probably drink, and somehow you don't see the bad in them? And don't say its because you’re not dating them because this is a topic about being a “good or bad person,”  They still play a huge role in your life and you’re constantly with them. If anything, How you treat people and what you do for people, especially those who can do nothing for you says something more about your character. I don't smoke anymore but you had the audacity to say that im not a “good girl,” because I was high at a concert LOL. It makes me laugh because when we first started talking, you were either getting drunk often or going out a lot but the funny thing is that I never judged you. In fact, I understood why you were acting the way you did. The first time you messaged me, you were drunk and high. You had a beer and went to go watch slenderman at the movie theatre. You came drunk to bowling. I easily could’ve judged you and avoided you but I know what its like to not be happy with your current reality and always look for escapes because im constantly doing that especially in Waterloo. I used to do it OFTEN w drinking and smoking but I found better people who uplifted me and eventually worked on creating better habits. If I treated you the way you treated me, I wouldn't have decided to become your friend or even think about wanting to talk to you. I understand you stopped doing those things once we became serious but when I came back to Waterloo- I was still in a bad place but eventually cut down on my bad habits as well. Your first impression wasn't good, nor would have been right of me to judge you for you’re actions cause I didn't know what you were going through. Ive come to the realization that I want someone who I can be best friends with and isn't constantly judging me or more concerned about what people have to say about me. You may have good intentions but I don't think you come off as a “good person,” if you’re constantly being self righteous and judgemental. FYI Im a simple person, and even though I don't constantly wear branded clothes or feel the need to constantly buy new shoes, doesn't mean im a fob. You being materialistic doesn't make you any better. In fact, nothing is ever gonna be good enough for you and you’re constantly going to want more and better things and you’re gonna find yourself doing that w people as well. How do you listen to J Cole and not take in what he says????? Love yourz, chaining day????  LMAO anyways, I was tired of bottling things up and thats why im letting you know how I feel. Im not trying to fix things nor am I trying to change your mind because im okay with the decision you made. It sucks cause I saw a lot of potential and thought you would be more open minded, but its okay. You're right to chose your own path and im glad you did because at least you’re focusing on yourself. You don't have to respond to my paragraph above because honestly I just wanted to get that shit off my chest. I’ve been wanting to give your jersey back cause you probably regret giving it LOL and it just gives me a constant reminder of you, but I don't appreciate how weird or how long you take to respond to someone who is making time for you. We may not be on the same level as we used to be, but it doesn't mean you can't respond within 1 business day

Episode #11: “I Love a Good Heist” ~ Will

It fucking worked and I want to redact everything bad I just said.

i'm none of them saying anything to me yet and I'm also me not seeing this coming when Will was all of a sudden not in favor of the telling duncan to idol plan lmaoooo gg

is no one going to message me!! i am so freaking upset right now and i kinda just want to explode but really no one is going to try to justify themselves to me, i'm a little disappointed tbh and i got to learn how to win a fucking immunity for once 

AMANDA AND HER MOTHER ARE ICONS I JUST GOT MY SECOND IDOL, I DO NOT DESERVE THIS

I'm so mad right now I want to SCREAM, why the HECK did I get that many votes, something isn't adding up and I'm just so frustrated. Also who made me the glee parchment, if you're reading this TELL ME it was the only thing good about tonight I am really just SO DONE WITH ALL THESE SNAKES. I'm being so extra right now but these people make me want to throw my laptop into the road. 

Cameron told Emily to vote Duncan :) We love a snake within our alliance :) I love a good heist :)

emily is a queen again btw, I love her

i don't know why i'm so salty

HOLY CRAP WE DID THAT! Duncan didn't play his idol and I'm literally crying. We killed one of the biggest threats in the game. And I was behind it. What. the. fuck.

fskhjf god the lady at the dining hall asked me how i was and on the outside i was like "good" but on the inside im like "playing virtual editions ofr trash reality shows on the internet with strangers I have never met has left me feeling like i want to cry bc ppl lied to me have u ever been lied to how did u get over it and also can i please have some chicken nuggets" jesus and then someone talked to me and i didnt know how to respond bc i was having an EPISODE in the dining hall it's fine this is fine ________________________________________________________________ let the ass kissing begin

I'm gonna confess tomorrow, but I have become aware.... of some shady stuff, and am now in a really good spot... or at least I think I am

OH MY GAWD NO IDOL PLAY. ARE YOU MCFUCKIN KIDDING ME!? I dont want to say that I am large in part why Duncan is @ Ponderosa right now BUT WIG WOW IS THIS THE BIGGEST MOVE IVE EVER MADE IN A GAME OR WHAT. ALSO i'm here for weasel discourse: [1/11/18, 10:48:07 PM] Dana Barry: because clearly we both bein sneaky weasels [1/11/18, 10:48:54 PM] Owen (Crossroads Host): kfashj who the bigger weasel [1/11/18, 10:49:01 PM] Dana Barry: OWEN PLEASE [1/11/18, 10:49:12 PM] Dana Barry: LETS NOT COMPARE WEASEL SIZES [1/11/18, 10:49:15 PM] Owen (Crossroads Host): OMFG [1/11/18, 11:12:14 PM] Owen (Crossroads Host): I’m gonna go eat now I’ll be back later [1/11/18, 11:31:53 PM] Dana Barry: pls eat my weasel friend ________________________________________________________________ https://vine.co/v/hWVwWE6UFqa/embed/simple Me when the people of this game give my dumb ass power and I crave more because I'm a goblin. 

This was recorded before the vote im SORRY im a flop 

It's time to strike at Owen. He's onto us. We're making big moves left and right, and he knows that we're going to get targeted as threats soon if we're not careful. He said we have to get rid of Ruthie and Kevin, otherwise people are going to start thinking about taking them to the end. Of course, that's my plan. I think I want to sit with Ruthie and Ali/Dana at the end. Will, Emily, or Owen would surely beat me. I'm here, masterminding moves, deciding whether or not someone easy goes home, and someone is going to target me soon. My idol can only save me for one round, and I need to make sure it's a good one. Lily was a good move. Duncan was a better move. Owen could potentially be the best move. Then I know my core four is completely loyal to me and only me. This is my ideal boot list now: Owen (10th) Ashvika (9th) Kevin (8th) Zach (7th) Emily (6th) Will (5th) Dana (4th) And then a final three of Ruthie (3rd), Ali (2nd), and myself (1st!) That's all. Love you. It's time for me to go focus on winning again.

Boy I'm mad. Duncan was the one person who I could put some trust in--and even then there wasn't much--and now he's dead. Now I feel like my game's already gone through the gutter and there's no hope left. Shoutout to Ali and Cameron specifically for both telling me "Oh yeah I'm sorry for not keeping you in the loop at the first vote, I promise I'll do it this time?" Then, what did they do? Not that. I'm...mediocrely okay with Ali because like Ali's nice and a sweetheart (actually I'm kinda mad at Ali because I pm'd him asking what happened like immediately after tribal and he never responded even though he's talked multiple times in the tribe chat...wig). But Cameron??? This is the third time. We've voted together once, at the Madison tribal, even though you've told me multiple times you want to work with me. I was okay with being 'left in the dark' with the Lily vote because I wasn't actually in the dark. I feel like this was a chance for him to prove his word to me, that you do want to work with me. This was the chance to make or break my trust. And both times I've come to him before the vote and he's basically said 'oh yeah it's still this way like we said haha.' And then??? It isn't lmao. Like if you don't want to work with me, cool! I understand that the game rolls out that way! But don't come to me with fake promises then, saying you want to work with me, only to actually vote with me 3/4 times. At some point no amount of apologies will make up for your actions. I don't know if I've reached that breaking point, but it's getting close. I get that I started the merge on the wrong foot, and that I should've voted Lily instead and sticking with Ruthie was a mistake. I know I got myself into this mess but I'm just annoyed and frustrated. I've been perfectly honest with everyone about who I'm voting for each round, and I get silence and vague responses in return. If I feel mad enough tomorrow I might try going for Cameron since he has an idol. Or at least like throwing his name around and spilling that fact. But who knows who knows he has an idol though. If it works, it works. If it doesn't, I might get home which I honestly wouldn't be super upset at this point and I would get to be a bitter juror too! 

I love Dana

I am an Owen stan again too, I love him. I need to confess more, because it might be big move season this round, but I also don't knowwwwwww. AHH, I hate this yikes. I just get scared by Dana/Will/Cameron as a grouping, with Zach and Ruthie is already 5, which is scary

i have realized i'm quite irrelevant in this game and basically out of the loop without duncan because all these supposed idols that everyone has keep popping up left and right. i feel like my time is coming soon 

"Who do you trust the least" "Who is most likely to flip on their alliance" "Who is ruining their own game" "Who is at the bottom but doesn't know it" "Who is going to go home for being the biggest threat" "Who is going to be blindsided by their alliance" literally they wish they were as relevant as me huh ________________________________________________________________ Actually though, I am going to make sure every one of these comes true. Let's see here.... "Who do you trust the least" "Who is most likely to flip on their alliance" "Who is ruining their own game" "Who is at the bottom but doesn't know it" "Who is going to go home for being the biggest threat" "Who is going to be blindsided by their alliance" Flipping on my alliance? Easy. If they insist, that's what I'll do. I will reallllly make it clear that they were right in trusting me the least :) And! They'd better hope! They take me out! For being a "threat" because if they do NOT, I am going to make sure each and everyone one of them is GONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! They better not feel comfortable for even one second bc if there's one good thing to come out of this, it's that I no longer feel comfortable at all and hopefully me playing on edge will end up better for me. I just had an hour long call with Ali and we basically like....discussed everything. I don't know if I can trust him, but I sure as hell can't trust my alliance to take me to the end, so what have I got to lose? I told him I know about his idol, which I think was a move to hopefully get him to open up to me. And he told me that the merge idol has been taken from the shore. I'm assuming Emily, Ashvika, Cameron, or Ruthie have it bc they searched there before Ali. Ashvika I straight up asked and she said no.... I have a bad feeling Cameron is sitting on two idols rn and I don't know if I can handle it. But I was like.... idk I said a lot of things to Ali and I meant them. He said he felt like he didnt have a number one, and I told him we could be there for each other. He has a spot in my final three now whether he believes it or not and I would gladly sit at the end with him at this point. But we need numbers and we need a play. It feels so soon to try to flip on will dana Cameron but like..... If we wait until next vote to idol someone out, and Ruthie/Zach are glued to them, then at final 8 it would be four on each side (assuming I can get emily and ashvika to be with ali and I, and Kevin leaves at 10 which idek if it is happening). So that makes me think like....okay so maybe a move needs to happen at 10 that puts Kevin, Emily, Ali, Ashvika and I in a majority? But it's so fricking risky bc idk if they're going to come after me or come after Kevin or Emily or....idk. It's going to be rough as hell. But I'm ready. I don't know if I'm going to win this season, but I sure am going to try my hardest to change it. ________________________________________________________________ (On the other hand I love Dana, Wil, Cameron, and Zach as people so idk I'm stressin mad rn.)

Here's my long confessional like always explaining the events of last round and then the progress for this current round. So last round was just a mess. I brought up to Dana the night of immunity results (congrats Will you freak) that Duncan is a threat. He has an immunity idol and a hideout advantage, if we don't do it at 11, he'll be free till technically final 8 without being targeted. In addition, it limits our options down the line. Dana agreed and said it wasn't bad, and ended up running to people with this idea without crediting me. Grrr. It's fine. Dana, Will, Cameron all excluded Owen in this plan and I believe think they orchestrated it themselves when in reality it was kind of my idea but they pushed it forward so it's whatever. I called Emily in panic because I didn't want to exclude her and little do I know that Cameron already informed her of the decision before I finalized mine. In the end, Duncan leaves 8-3. Post-vote, I am trying to reestablish any trust I have with Ashvika. I can sense she doesn't trust me which is completely reasonable and fine, but I am wanting to work with her. Kevin is irrelevant but I want to talk to him and form a good connection with him. Now, this vote. Cameron was my target. Will talked about how he wanted Cameron out to Dana who obviously relayed that information to me, and I think Owen was fine with doing it too. I am also trying to formulate connections with Owen despite the fact that he knows I blatantly lied about the Duncan vote and all. However, Cameron won immunity, so good job to him. This means that my target probably shifts to one of two people. First is Kevin. He's kind of an easy vote, a person who wasn't really around and is definitely the most inactive. If we need an easy tribal, it's him. Ruthie's another easy vote but right now is not her time and I genuinely love her, but I do enjoy everyone so I can't use that. I'm not sure how likely this option is. I think I could get it rolling if need be. My second is Ali. This is just because recently i've felt really distant with him. I think I can trust him, yeah, but from what I know Owen is fine with him leaving and it's like... yeah. I think Ali should go relatively soon. If the votes are on him i'm most definitely going to vote him out unless i'm frightened of an idol play. I am honestly kind of scared of the alliance consisting of Cameron/Will/Owen/Dana + Ali. It's like... they're turning on each other briefly. Cameron is rubbing people the wrong way, which I love him and all truthfully, but he is kind of aggressive with dominating votes and spearheading decisions, which I think is ending up biting him in the ass. I truly think he'll be one of the next couple of votes. Ali is like the alliance's +1 so if they can vote him out, i'm down with that too. Ashvika, Emily, Ruthie, and Kevin are kind of on the outs of that alliance (with me of course) but more distant than myself. I need to utilize those bonds to kind of renege the major alliance cause I don't feel like being cut near the end. No ma'am. So having Ali leave this vote, then Cameron next vote, followed by Kevin leaves a final 7 of Ashvika/Ruthie/Owen/Zach/Dana/Will/Emily. In this scenario it's like... it gets hard. I want to work with Emily, but there are so many people here that are such strong contenders. Owen, Dana, Will and Emily are all phenomenal players, and i'd love to consider myself amongst those people too (PARTICULARLY IN THIS GAME! NOTICE THAT I LOVE THEM ALL AND THINK THEY'RE ALL GREAT BUT IN THIS SPECIFIC GAME THAT'S MY VIEW ON STANDINGS). I don't want to be goated, which I potentially could be since i'm acting weird and dull this game, so maybe I could swap Kevin in the final seven and drop another big threat, like Ashvika or Owen. The people who I trust the most right now are Dana and Emily. I trust Owen to an extent, and I really like talking to him. Ashvika and Kevin and Ruthie are just meh, I don't trust them. Cameron is to a degree but he's sketchy. Will is just... ugh MSDGLKDSG I love him I think he's so funny but he probably hates me. Ali is trustworthy but I feel like that's relative amongst all. I really don't know who i'd like to sit against in the final three (or two but likely three). I've reached my goal of jury and 100 days so i'm content, but I want to win. I think my best chances would be against Ruthie and Kevin, but I don't know. Dana needs to go soon too. Like, maybe final 4-7 is when i'd love to see her leave because I bet everyone views me as her bitch and sure, I kind of am at the moment, but that's partially strategy. Everyone thinks i'm her +1 so to those that like her, i'm safe. They know they can use me. Then to others, i'm the weaker of the two and therefore they have no valid reason to target me unless they want to weaken her, in which case bye bye. This game is so complicated and votes are NEVER decided until last minute which is bothersome but kind of fun. I think I have a high chance of leaving at this upcoming tribal truly, or at least receiving votes, so i'm excited to see what's to come. Hopefully i'm still here but if now, it's been a great season and i'm glad I got the chance to return and hopefully make y'alls slightly proud wooh!

Okay lots to confess I wish I confessed earlier in the round so I wouldn't have so much to recount. So anyways, the Duncan vote happens, and it still makes me sad. I will never understand why he felt so betrayed by me and kinda continued to throw my name out there because I wanted to go far with him. Also I called with Emily after the vote and I already knew at this point she leaked me idol (which Emily *why*). I dont understand why everyone felt so betrayed by me, when I was trying to loop everyone in? It doesn't make any sense. Anyway, I called with her and we seem good again, and I do want to work with her moving forwards. ________________________________________________________________ I spoke with Ashvika and explained why I voted Duncan, and I think she is the person I wanna work with most now, like Id love to go far with her, because I am an Ashvika stan. Touchy Subjects was very interesting, Will guessed me for a lot of the negative game ones which suggests he doesn't have much faith in my game and I got who does everything think has an idol, blind to manipulation, who is gonna need to be apologised to, who is getting blindsided. Lots of very scary ones. So... I'm nervous. I'm also nervous becuase I called with Owen yesterday, and as normal, I said waaay too much to Owen, and while I wanna work with him going forwards, I also think he could easily say what I said to LWD and get me out. ALSO IN OTHER MC'FREAKIN NEWS: I HAVE ANOTHER IDOL. AND NOBODY IS EVER FINDING OUT. I am using the fact that everyone says I leak stuff (because I do) and "leaking" that shore 23 is empty, so that nobody thinks I have it. I wanna use the other idol soon, so nobody thinks I have one teehee

Okay the gag is Duncan and I apparently got found out or were suspected or something so congrats to them for sleuthing successfully but also according to Ali people thought Ashvika and I were close??? Which??? Isn't true??? I hardly even know her??? sjlks Anyways I love these Touchy Subjects answers they make me feel really good about myself. I basically threw the challenge because I didn't feel like I had a good chance of winning anyway, and I'm not really in the position to offend anyone lmao which is evident by the answers. Apparently people trust me the least even tho...I've told pretty much everyone who I'm voting for in the last round. On an exciting note people want to vote for me tonight! At this point just take me out of the game and catapult me into the sun. I'm ready for it. The one person I wanted out of this game won immunity so. I don't know what my plans are but accepting death seems like a good idea right now.

This jury is literally gonna be pissed at everyone so I need to start doing whatever I can to make them think we're close, that we're friends. I'll talk to Kevin about Netflix, I'll tell Ashvika she's a queen, I'll give Owen a backrub idgaf but I need to make sure Cameron looks worse than I do. None of them think Ali's done anything, and Dana...they think she's cracked too. The only person I'm okay with beating me is Dana and that's that.

Something good happening at tribal council? For once there's even a possibility. After chatting with Owen we're trying to start something. Him Ashvika and I all voted for Ruthie last round, so if we stick together that's 3, and we're hoping for at least 5. Our best bets are Emily and Ali. I have no idea if this has a shot of working tbh but I feel like tonight's all or nothing. Unfortunately we can't get Cameron. I tossed around Dana or Zach's names to Owen but like, whoever Ali and Emily (or whoever we can get) want to vote, we'll vote. I don't know how solid the majority alliance is, or who's in cahoots with who, so this is a very...fragile, could-break-at-any-moment plan. If there's any way of convincing these two, the Touchy Subjects answers show that they're not safe if they stick with that side. Time to actually talk to them though and see what's up tho ahhhh ________________________________________________________________ I told Ali Duncan said Dana said Cameron had an idol. Ali revealed that he voted for Duncan because he was telling people Ali told him about the idol. Ali then said to me "I knew he was covering for someone it must be Dana." The gag is I honestly don't know if it was actually Dana skdkdkf I remember her name in the conversation we had but like??? But if it convinces Ali then it works for now

Why did I put Owen to be blindsided by his alliancE? bc I’m his alliance And I’m gonna blindside him

So Owen voted for me not Emily hmmm Maybe he was the one that made the pretty glee voting thing What’s that paper called again? Omg yes parchment 

I’m really scared for this tribal. Owen, Ali, and I have made an alliance and are talking about voting with Kevin and possibly Ashvika. I want to pull in Zach and maybe Dana, but the problem is,,,,, Owen and Ali and Kevin want to vote Dana. I want Dana to stay. I don’t know why. I think I’m just bein gay. I want Will out tbh. And I would’ve wanted Cameron if he wasn’t fucking immune but NO of course I have to be HORRIBLE at tie breakers!!! I’m really shocked by some of the things I got in touchy subjects like wtf man. You’ll enjoy voting me out? You wish you had gotten me out pre-merge? You have to apologize to me after this game? Interesting. This is one of those Touchy Subjects results that I realy wanna take notes about. Usually I don’t take them too seriously but I’m #offended. Ugh I really want to work with Zach but I’m scared of Dana and him being a duo sort of like how Lily and I were a duo I guess? Ugh. I don’t know how to like,,,,, get around that. There’s a lot to figure out about this vote. But I think we can get something going. All I know is that I’m not really feeling like voting for Kevin tonight. ;-) we’ll see what happens

I am LITERALLY a rat and I feel guilty but if this works out then it's fine. I'm fine. Everything will be fine. I need to keep people in this game around me and I'm gonna take heat for it and Cameron might idol me out but like....oh well. ________________________________________________________________ Basically the pieces came together, Emily Ali and I made a chat and we all like fkshd worked on getting Kevin and Ashvika on board. Emily thought she could play a vote negator to make it 5-4 but she cant use it yet SO instead I was like ok I'll try to get them to split the votes somehow and both Will and Dana suggested it anyways kfadsjh lmao so hopefully it's like..... 5-3-2 tonight. I wanted it to be Dana at first bc if it does somehow tie 5-5 I felt like Ruthie would flip and vote Dana but not Will, but maybe now Zach would flip and vote for Will idk probably not. Also I still love Will :'( this game will feel weird without him but he's a huge threat. So is Cameron and Dana tbh like everyone is lowkey trying to press their own agenda and I think they're getting weary of one another but....idk. I feel like I need to do this now bc it'll be me actually taking things into my own hands rather than Kevin leaving and me relying on dana or will wanting Cameron out whenever they decide. I wish Will didn't have to go and if this all blows up on me then fine but like...yeah. god. ppl are gonna be upset with me, wigs all around ! ________________________________________________________________ THE ANGEL ON MY SHOULDER IS CRYING BUT THE DEVIL ON MY SHOULDER IS LAUGHING im so ugly i cant wait for this to go wrong and then ppl laugh at me for being an idiot when they read my confessionals after ________________________________________________________________ Lowkey it seemed too easy to get will and dana to want to split the vote and now Ali has disappeared too? I feel like Ali spilled and now theyre all just gonna vote for me but if thats the case then oh well I was never gonna win without trying to get trust in people

STOP STRESSING ME THE FUCK OUT good bye dana barry .

Finally a vote where I know what’s happening and the people that control everything... don’t. I’m excited! My first blindside where I’m on the like... right end? Wow. I love taking matters into my own hands. Will made an Azores alliance and I feel HORRIBLE because I’m voting him out this round lmao. And Cameron made an alliance with Will and Cameron and I just GOD at his is going to be hard because I could be ruining some potential allies... but also... who cares? I’m making a move, y’all! If it doesn’t work out, then so be it. But I’m putting my trust into Owen, Ali, Ashvika, Kevin... people that I really didn’t expect to work with all together but I’m thankful nonetheless. I’m also thinking this group of five is good because Kevin, Ashvika, and Ali will be easier to beat in the end? I think? Idk. I’m trying to think ahead as much as I can, and weakening Cameron & Co. is the first step to that. I feel guilty but this is what I have to do to win. It’s All Stars, Emily! ALL STARS! GET UR HEAD IN THE GAME!

I made an alliance with Will and Emily. I want Will to think he's my #1. He's not. I told them we're winning. We're not. Well... they're not. me: this alliance is winning Me: knows that neither of these two can make it to the end

Kevin is voting me yikes.com. I'm getting idoled out yall and it has been fun. Ashvika and Kevin have idols and I get majority = HELP ME PLEASE AMERICA. I'm on call with ASHVIKA and she says THEY ARE VOTING OUT WILL. WHAT DO I DO PLEASE. AND APPARENTLY IF THEY DONT VOTE FOR WILL THEY ARE VOTING FOR ME. If this is all a scare tactic.... it sure is working!!!! More to come later I have 20 minutes to entirely flip this vote ladies. Mama IS staying tonight know that!

OKAY SO! I voted for Ashvika. Why? Well, two or three reasons. 1. I've voted in the majority. Every time. I can't do that. I will become a target and I want to look like I'm being bobo the fool. 2. If someone (Ashvika) plays an idol on Kevin, it burns her. Also, it protects us (Me, Ali, Dana, Will, but the latter 3 because I'm safe) in the event that someone does idol Kevin. Also, I'm so glad I won immunity. It's a bad time for me personally and this made everything easier. Thank you, survivor gods. Thank you.

kevin and ashvika couldnt keep their mouths shut and now I'm getting idoled out. it's been real xoxoxo

I'm literally about to go home, but at least if I do I was able to crack the code and see it coming first. Kinda like Margaery in GoT, she saw it coming but she was just a little too late to stop it. ________________________________________________________________ Well I mean like I called it so y'all aren't as slick as you thought, there just really wasn't anything I could do. I got outplayed by snakes who were willing to throw away the last ounces of respect I had for them, but like I would've done the same and just been more respectful about it. And if you think writing "I hope it's a tie" in your voting confessional absolves you of anything you gotta like...use your brain sorry, if you don't want someone to go home you don't vote for them - it's not that hard! But it's been a fun game and this isn't the last of me (sorry if you wanted it to be). Cast me in your games more often I'm fun!!! xoxo

Will becomes the 11th person voted out of Athena All Stars in a 5-3-2 vote, and the 3rd member of our jury. You can see Will’s preseason interview here.