#but i'm making good progress in completely erasing the finale from my mind
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Okay. Let's talk Jamie and Roy getting beers and being idiots.
I know we are all still processing that whirlwind of a finale. I'm understanding that a lot of people hate the Roy & Jamie scene because it is 1) backslide-y (true) 2) they treat Keeley like a prize to be won (true) and 3) it's OOC (I actually disagree with this one, but I can understand why it's complicated). I want to start off by saying I completely see where this opinion is coming from and I respect everyone who just hates the scene because it shows normally kind characters being very unkind to each other etc. This is less me arguing against that as it is me trying to articulate (at great length, sorry) why it not only worked for me, but I genuinely liked it.
I like to think I strike a balance between loving everything the show has done and hating overwhelmingly on a show I claim to enjoy, but sure, you could definitely argue that I'm just giving my favorite characters the benefit of the doubt, or making excuses for them, because they're my favorite characters. I'll admit I'm historically very forgiving of all the main characters' many fuck-ups on Ted Lasso, but that's because I think the show works best when it emphasizes how kindness, forgiveness, friendship and love can still operate between imperfect, flawed people. I like seeing them make realistic mistakes much more than I like everyone handling everything perfectly, I'll bite.
So, back to Jamie and Roy. I enjoyed their finale plot because despite them making a world of mistakes, the regression felt very, very human. I don't agree at all with the take that this somehow erased all the progress they've made this season or the friendship the show has lovingly crafted between them. In fact, I think this actively reiterated it! (Note: I am operating with my ot3 goggles on at all times, so I'm going to write this with that at least partially in mind, but I think the gist of it works even if you ignore the bits that get a little shippy.)
For both Jamie and Roy, Keeley and their love for her is a major beacon guiding them. I think that is the crisp, clear thing in both of their heads this episode: Keeley is the love of my life. And they both believe that wholeheartedly, and they both want to be with her. (and it's goofy to pretend this came out of nowhere for Jamie/since when is Jamie still in love with her/etc. because he literally told her and us this last season and nothing that has happened since has indicated otherwise, btw.) But there's also something else now, which is their relationship with each other, battling with their Keeley thoughts. It's like, in Roy's head, for instance, I imagine there are two wolves: on the one hand he loves Keeley, and wants to be with her, and plans to win back her heart. On the other hand, there's his love and care for Jamie Tartt, which is much less defined and inarticulate and maybe still a little repressed, but just as overpowering. His love for Keeley feels so simple and clear in comparison, while his love for Jamie is something complicated and unsure, and in this episode, he's leaning hard into the first to avoid unpacking the second.
So Roy starts off strong. He sees Jamie with Keeley in the hallway and he doesn't flip out!! Instead, he approaches Jamie calmly, and invites him out for beers. Think about how different this is from his reaction to Jamie's love confession to Keeley in season 2. This is Roy's growth in action, and it's a resounding sign of just how important Jamie is to Roy now. Even when he is feeling jealous of the woman he loves potentially leaving him behind for a man he loves (a completely natural reaction, let's be so real, if not a "good" one), he also knows that for as much as he wants to be with Keeley, he doesn't want to lose his friendship with Jamie.
As for Jamie, I know some people took his reaction and subsequent response to Nate's question as like, shock at the realization that he and Roy are actually friends now, which I agree is something that had to have come earlier in the timeline (what was Mom City if not that) and would seem very out of place at this point. What I saw it as instead was Jamie's brain more just. sort of short-circuiting? Because: holy shit isn't this the best day ever? First Keeley agreed to go to Brazil with me and now Roy is asking me on a date for beers? this is so sound. This invite is out of place behavior from Roy even within the parameters of their friendship, because they still have a match to win and Roy has banned Jamie from beers as part of his training and despite them being close now I find it hard to believe that Roy often comes up to him right there in dressing room to ask him to grab a beer with no pretense.
Therefore, they're already walking into that bar in completely different head-spaces. Jamie isn't planning to discuss Keeley, and for Roy that is his major intention behind the evening. Jamie is nervous and downing his beer, and Roy is internally panicking, I'm imagining, over when and how to bring Keeley up. I think Roy is thinking: Well, I don't intend to stop pursuing Keeley, I genuinely don't want Jamie's feelings to be hurt when I get back together with her (and yes, it is a huge presumption for him to assume Keeley's going to eventually take him back. But I think it's also an understandable one), so I've got to tell Jamie I care about him, and that I'm going to keep going after Keeley, and he needs to be okay with that so that this won't get in the way of our friendship, which I also desperately need and am unwilling to give up. In his mind, Jamie is of course going to accept all of this, because Roy and Keeley are soulmates, which Jamie will clearly recognize deep down because it is so obvious and right and anyway, Jamie always does what Roy tells him to do (again, this is all misguided thinking. But we can see how Roy's anxious little brain that's bad at processing feelings and holding space for emotions could get himself here, can't we?).
So again, we start off strong with Roy saying he's proud of Jamie and them both thanking one another. But then Roy's blurting out nonsense about how Jamie just needs to pull himself out of the running and just let Roy be with Keeley. Which is obviously not on. And Jamie responds, simply, with No. I'd argue this is also a huge step for Jamie. Jamie really doesn't tell Roy no anymore, he doesn't tell anyone no. Jamie has spent so much of his time since coming back to Richmond working to be the person everyone around him wants and expects him to be. This is him fighting for something he wants for once, doing what is best for him. It was a fabulous progression to see. In the moment, boy does it work Roy up, because why is Jamie not agreeing with me, Jamie always agrees with me? but obviously at this point, Jamie is in the right. His relationship with Keeley was no less meaningful than Roy's just because Roy says it was, Roy doesn't have any claim on her, and there's no real reason Jamie should not try and shoot his shot with Keeley if Roy is going to do the same.
Here's where things start to spiral. Established flaws we know about Roy: he's competitive. He's bad at voicing his feelings productively. And he is territorial about the people he loves, a category that safely includes both Jamie and Keeley at this point in time, for better and sometimes worse. Yes, his next actions are grossly possessive over Keeley, yes Roy has made a lot of effort over the past year to do and be better than that, to break free of that cycle. But look, it's not a linear process. He's going to still mess up, and he does here. In fact he's downright mean, weaponizing Keeley against Jamie and throwing having sex with Keeley a month ago into Jamie's face, bragging about it, boasting. Same old cycle, same old patterns of ego-driven, prideful mistakes.
Which promptly prompts Jamie to also fuck up by bringing up the leak. It's a concentrated response intended to get a suitable rise out of Roy, because Roy has really, genuinely hurt him here, and Jamie knows bringing up that video is the one thing that will hurt Roy just as much in turn. It's not the right thing to do, obviously, but again, it's such a human thing to do. Hurt the person who's hurt you right back, even if you're hurting someone else (Keeley) by extension. Mind you, Jamie came here expecting a hangout (/date) with Roy over a rare beer, and instead he got Roy being a complete asshole and lecturing nonsense at him out of seemingly nowhere. He reacts to this change-up, well, not greatly. There is something so messy and emotionally complicated happening here and it hinges on how very much Jamie and Roy care about each other, not negates it.
Keeley, queen that she is, rejects them both out of hand and kicks them out not the curb immediately because they're both being complete idiots, acting like they're so gracious in giving her the honor and privilege of choosing between them. Not to mention they've clearly got something going on between them they haven't worked through and that sure as shit isn't her problem, is it? Keeley (presumably, and I wish we had seen this) calls them out their shit and tosses them right back out the door.
Which leaves Jamie and Roy to lament how they've let their egos get away from them, they've been idiots (which they acknowledge immediately) and decide that now they should go for kebabs, presumably to actually hangout this time, not to interrupt themselves with inflated talk about who "deserves" Keeley more. They both screwed up, they acknowledge it, and all they can do is try again tomorrow, and in the meantime, go on that kebab date.
I guess....I can just see where both of them are coming from? it's not mature behavior, obviously, it's maybe not what we would have liked to have seen from them in the finale episode of the show. But it was regression that I didn't feel impeded their overall progress. Roy in particular was being a complete dick about it, but that's why the very next morning he's finally knocking on the Diamond Dogs' door. And honestly, that conversation was heartbreaking. When Roy admitted he'd expected, after a year of putting in the work, to be a whole new person...god. This is a man who still completely hates himself, to the point where he can't quite grasp that he can be better where he's at now, that he doesn't have to transform magically into someone new in order to do right by himself and others. And so he has to consciously determine, once again, to do better, be better.
The message is: change isn't linear, you're going to fuck-up, and fall back into old patterns. What matters is trying every day to do better together, and be better for one another, than you were the day before. That is the meeting point all three sides of the royjamiekeeley triangle were heading towards by the end of the episode.
So yes, it was rushed, because no one gets much screen time in a finale (and the overarching issue with this season anyway is god awful pacing. The last three episodes could've easily been the second half of the season, while the first half of the season was stretched out and largely extraneous). And yes, I would've liked a more thoughtful follow-up conversation between Roy and Keeley or all three of them. My biggest issue was that we didn't get to hear Keeley's voice hardly at all. I would at the very least have liked to have seen her setting them straight at her kitchen table, because turning both of them down signifies very important growth in her, too, and I would've liked exploring that more explicitly. So it wasn't perfect. But I still liked it, I really did.
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For those of you not aware, X-Men 97 pulled an asshole move of completely excluding Lorna from what happened on Genosha.
This matters because in the comics, she worked with Magneto (before she knew he was her father) to build up Genosha and is one of the survivors of the genocide. Her story was one of failing to save everyone but having to relive the nightmare endlessly by replaying its final moments with her powers until the X-Men got her out of the ruins. Her history was also respected here in the Wolverine and the X-Men cartoon, which gave her great episodes and depictions - the only good ones she's had in cartoons to date.
There seems to be a common thread behind this genocide erasure in Lorna's history: nostalgia for Havolaris and how Lorna was treated in the 90s.
Jordan White was clearly trying to force each of these things while senior editor. At the same time, he had the X-Men books acting like Lorna had no connection at all to Genosha. This went so far that even an event where Kitty Pryde (Jordan White's favorite character, I've been told) did a big thing with Genosha had Lorna's appearance relegated purely to helping Kitty's plan and complaining about a lack of coffee. No acknowledgment she was a survivor of the genocide.
Then we have Beau DeMayo and X-Men 97. To date, the only references we've seen of Lorna were exclusively images of her with Havok and 90s X-Factor. One in opening credits, one in a photo in Forge's place. She's nowhere to be found whatsoever around Genosha in X-Men 97. The show even had X-Factor characters like Multiple Man show up to check things out, but no mention or presence at all for Lorna.
Here's where we stand right now. For a long ass time, I've said that I think there's a path to a relationship with Lorna and Havok eventually being a good thing. I've said it would take work and time where Lorna as her own character is restored and treated properly. I've never said getting the pair back together and it being a good thing was impossible.
This pattern of blatant, deliberate disrespect toward Polaris and her connection to Genosha is seriously making me reconsider that stance. If Lorna surviving a goddamn GENOCIDE can't be respected all because of some nostalgic assholishness, then how in the hell can Lorna make ANY progress or have ANYTHING good so long as the cause of this problem has any play around her? How can Lorna be treated as more than some stupid weakling supporting character girlfriend only there to kiss Havok's ass and jill off over his costume if something as essential as SURVIVING A GENOCIDE going to be ignored in service to sticking her in a toxic relationship with what is increasingly looking like a character that is just irredeemably toxic for Lorna to be around at all?
Up until today, I've said very up front that I seem a path of redemption for this pairing. X-Men 97 is changing my mind on that. I'm very seriously starting to think now that there is no redeeming this pairing and turning it into a good thing. Not when people like Beau DeMayo will erase a genocide from Polaris' character history for the sake of his personal fantasies.
I've said this elsewhere. But in closing, I'm going to be making a very deliberate effort to avoid everything having to do with Beau DeMayo because of his actions here. It's too late for me with the two Strange New Worlds episodes he did. But I already took Witcher and The Originals off my watchlists. And if he steps his toes into anything else I care about in the future, I'll be making it very clear why he shouldn't be involved in those things.
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Prison of Plastic Thoughts on Molly, Giovanni and Especially Lorelai (Spoilers)
I finally finished Epither Erased: Prison of Plastic yesterday and oh my freaking god omf I cant get my blorbos out of my head.
The way this series said the system failed Molly, that trusted adults failed Molly, that even her friends who love her and see her suffering first hand can't help her in a way that really matters. Fuck it broke my heart. Hearing Navan's thoughts about being unable to just. Take her away because *he's a pillar to his community* hurt because he's a good guy. He's shown to be an amazingly thoughtful and caring man but classes and occasional money is not enough to save Molly. She needed a wrecking ball and I'm so happy Giovanni didn't even need to be asked. He was already planning on taking her. He just saw a girl in need and he gave zero shits to laws or future ramifications, he was going to help her come highwater and hell.
Epithet Erased is so amazing and means so much to me. A kid forced to grow up gets to be a kid again. Not by any concentional methods but it doesnt matter because she's free now and with people that will actually care for her.
That was amazing.
.......
But as much as I loved the book, I have gripes with Lorelai's part of the story.. I don't feel a sibling relationship as volatile as this was done enough.... justice?
I don't wanna get personal but there's a reason sibling relationships get to me the most out of any other familial one. I was so excited to cry over Molly and Lorelai, and I did! But it definitely felt like their interactions, the progression of their fights and their thoughts on one another could've been polished better. To me, it never felt like Molly got to actually communicate her problems with Lorelai properly. She either apologized or suddenly lashed out, which I understand, emotions run high, but because she never got through to Lori-
Lorelai does not feel like she learned a proper lesson at all. Her takeaway from the whole ordeal being 'I can stand to lose a bit' coming from *playing* a villain and picturing herself playing with Molly as one instead of what it should've been, her recognizing that she really put too much on Molly's shoulders makes her arc (in this part of her story atleast. Since there was no resolution between the sisters, I HOPE we are getting that in tbe future) frustrating.
I also feel like, if one of the main points of congression against Lorelai's powers was gonna be that she can hurt people (to the point where she freaks out about so much a d even WISHES SHE NEVER HAD THEM, THAT CAME OUT OF NOWHERE. UP UNTIL THEN ALL WE SAW WAS HER ENJOYING AND ABUSING HER POWERS EVEN IF SHE WAS LONELY), we could've had most instances of them actually doing something to people in the past other than just her potentially having set the hojse on fire. I thought the story was setting up her loneliness and departure from her school friends as maybe after losing her mom, she became overwhelmed and actually hurt one of them while having a meltdown. It would've solidified to her that maybe she SHOULD be alone, and given her more standing in her mind to freak out about actually hurting people while in this book, not just because she POTENTIALLY killed her mom but because, like Navan said, she already had confirmation of what she COULD DO with another incident.
And on that note, maybe a sprinkle of having Lorelai flinch and be scared of hurting Vincent Murder only to have him insist he's a gargoyle he can't be hurt(!) could've been another cute point to her crush on him. (Not that I'm a big fan of that potential relationship, but hey, if there's a focus on that, then you gotta milk it through the book).
On the subject of Gio/Vincent, I feel like he went too easy on her after the 'revelation' of what she's been doing to Beartrap on the side while hanging with him. He just breezed through it and was still joking with her during the fight. I didn't expect him to be a complete shift in personality and to cut ties with her, but maybe a bit 'tougher love' would've been good to see. I was waiting to see a more serious side to him as a protector of Molly, but he instead of keept it lighthearted and it didn't feel right. Theirs wasn't a matter of just petty sibling squabbles, Lorelai was a big contributor to the pain and stress Molly felt daily.
Brushing it aside felt so. Bad. For a story that does so well with showing how people fail and the consequences of it, they really softened Lorelai's in the end. She is still with the mindset of a child playing a game. It disappointed me ^^"
But uh, anyways. Sorry for the sudden negativity. It's honestly the only major thing I had a problem with. I love Epithet Erased so much, I guess I may have expected too much out of the sibling side of the story. I still heavily enjoy the rest of the cast and their relationships (other than Giovanni and Lorelai because I think he could be a little harder on her. Again, not a lot! I just think that as the person she likes and actually wants to listen to, she'd learn more from him.) But ah well.
#epithet erased#giovanni potage#lorelai blyndeff#molly blyndeff#molly and lorelai#vincent murder#ee molly#ee giovanni#ee lorelai#prison of plastic
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The Endless List of Sam’s Favorite Things: OTPs
↳ Barney & Robin (How I Met Your Mother)
“I love everything about her, and I’m not a guy who says that lightly. I am a guy who has faked love his entire life. I thought love was just something idiots thought they felt, but this woman has a hold on my heart that I could not break if I wanted to... and there have been times that I wanted to. It has been overwhelming, and humbling, and even painful at times, but I could not stop loving her any more than I could stop breathing. I am hopelessly, irretrievably in love with her... more than she knows.”
#himymedit#swarklesedit#barney x robin#how i met your mother#barney stinson#robin scherbatsky#tvedit#dailytvfilmgifs#himymgifs#sam arts stuff#sam gifs stuff#endless list of favorite things#series; himym#otp: they stopped watching#i'm still so emo about them#but i'm making good progress in completely erasing the finale from my mind
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The World We Knew Won't Come Back
word count: 1k
warnings: mentions of attempted suicide and manipulation
Summary: The ninja talk about Zanes final message from s11
The Never Realm was a wound that hadn’t healed, in different states of infection for them all. They didn’t discuss it really, kept their mouths sealed and their burning questions clenched behind their teeth. Zane's time in the realm was shrouded in mystery, most of the others having no idea about the circumstances of Zane's fall- other than that he’d suffered a memory wipe and been turned against the land by another. They don’t talk about it and Zane doesn’t offer up any explanation despite Pixals well-intentioned prodding or Wus not-so-subtle suggestion of therapy. How they ended up on the topic one night, after a dinner cooked by the dethroned ruler, is not something Lloyd can figure out. Part of him believes this would happen eventually, that the deep-set trauma from the Never Realm would burst out unwanted and unplanned.
At this point in the conversation, started hesitantly by Nya after she incidentally brought up how Ice had felt different in the Never Realm, everyone had lost their appetite. Zane was being remarkably open, more so than he had been in the weeks since- which is to say, he wasn’t shutting down completely or leaving the conversation entirely. Progress.
“Was there… were you injured when you were sent to the realm?” Jay asks, as tactfully as the landmine of a topic called for, “I don’t understand how he erased your mind. Your memory switch has been long removed.”
Zane's eyes dull and he goes dead silent before he stands up, “I’ll take these to the sink.” He says instead of answering, gathering up plates and silverware.
Lloyd hesitates and then, “He ran a diagnostic of the Mech,” Bright blue eyes pin him with an unreadable emotion, “You left a video explaining everything. When I was looking for you, I found it.”
The silence that follows Lloyd's words feels thicker than before. Pixels voice is quiet but clear as it cuts through the heaviness in the room, “You did what?”
Still on his feet Zane straightens up the plates he’d stacked, well aware this is suddenly not a conversation he can walk away from, “Vex pulled the plug from my head before the diagnostic could complete.”
Pixal looks like she can’t quite believe what she’s hearing, “Good!” She says instantly, staring at him with disbelief.
Her response- well, it doesn’t make any sense to Lloyd, “Good?” He parrots, questioning, “Why would that be good?? Zane said as long as the cable wasn’t touched, he’d be okay.”
“Is that what he said?” Nya chimes in, face twisted up.
"I believe it is best if we all went to bed." Zane says curtly, attempting to put the lid back onto the can of worms.
"I think we should discuss this now." Pixal challenges.
Zane's jaw tightens, and for a moment he looks so different from himself it takes Lloyd aback. His eyes blaze, but he lowers himself back into his seat anyway and tilts his head forward, conceding to her. Pixal is shaken, Lloyd can tell- she expected him to react differently too. Instead of wilting she says, "You know what hooking yourself up to the mech was risking "
"I do." He doesn't hesitate, and Lloyd thinks this is a much more dangerous conversation than he anticipated, "and I understood the odds. I knew what I was doing-"
"Really? Because you could have fooled me." Nya buts in, "how stupid-"
"It was a last resort-"
"It never should have even been an option!" Jay slams a fist down on the table, and Lloyd realizes the lightning master is tearing up, "Why would you do that? You had to know we wouldn't leave you there. You had to have faith we would come back for you."
Lloyd feels dizzyingly wrong-footed in this conversation and he's not the only one. Cole says, "I feel like I'm missing something. What's the big deal?"
A long pause before Pixal breaks it, "We don't have the processing power to run a diagnostic on the mech," she explains, not taking her eyes off Zane. He's cut his eyes away from her gaze to stare at a point beside her head, "the chances of completing the diagnostic without running into a catastrophic failure are slim to none. Unplugging the cord violently damaged his recall protocol, but if it hadn't been unplugged his internal system would have hit a massive computing error and fried itself."
"It's nearly a guaranteed way to destroy his core. It would have been simple and painless." Nya says, "The video Lloyd found, it wasn't explaining some slightly risky procedure, it was…"
"...It was a suicide note." Kais finishes, shocked.
“I waited as long as I could,” Zane says stiffly, folding his hands tensely on the table in front of him.
“How can you say that?” Kai asks, nearly desperate, “How much time had to pass before you decided to kill yourself? Is there some sort of nindroid metric I'm missing? Do you have some line of code telling you to give up after a few months?”
“A few months?” Zane jerks in his seat affronted, “You think- a few months?”
“How long was it, then? When exactly did you start to doubt us?” Nya cuts in.
“Maybe we should all calm down-” Cole starts but Zane stands sharply, his chair toppling to the ground.
“I lost faith in you on the seventh anniversary of my arrival in the Never Realm. I didn’t kill myself until the tenth.”
Lloyd feels like his heart seized in his chest, a cold wash icing over his veins at the horror of that statement. The room doesn’t get colder, but the air is frozen anyway.
Zane hunches over to stare at the table top, both hands braced against it as if a sudden weight on his shoulders was threatening to crush him, “Ten years, alone in that cave. You didn’t come.” The words are accusatory and heartbroken. He clenches his eyes shut, “And I know that’s not fair. I know you didn’t know, and that you couldn't come. I know that, and I’m trying to forgive you.”
“Zane-” Pixal starts, but he doesn’t let her finish.
“But I was alone for ten years, and I was in pain, and I was losing my mind.” He runs a hand through his hair, blue eyes flashing as he recognizes the irony of the situation, “And I just thought that in the one and a million chance it did not fry my processor, I would get to come home-"
He doesn't smile but there's a manic, wounded lilt to his voice as he explains, "-And if it did? Then I didn't have to worry about anything anymore.”
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SDV's 1.5 update contains content that plays into racist, colonialist, and imperialist myths and beliefs.
Disclaimer: I loved SDV (which is a given, considering I have an SDV sideblog lol?), and I'm not writing this post to get people to boycott the game or stop liking it or whatever. I just want people to understand why this content is harmful, how it might be affecting your biases and beliefs, and think of how they can engage with this media without exacerbating the harm that it does. I'm Filipino, and I don't speak for all POC or all brown people, but I felt deeply hurt and betrayed by the content update. Please keep that in mind before you interact with this post. Explanation under the cut because of 1.5 spoilers (obviously) and because this got long.
(I will block people who clown on this post. Keep your opinions to yourself unless you also have firsthand experience with the issues I describe.)
Background
I was already wary of the 1.5 content update because of how the previews featured ~tropical~ and ~exotic~ stuff, but I decided to give it a shot because maybe I was being too hasty with my judgment.
I wasn't. I made a new save to play with the 1.5 content update, and at first, I was having a great time! The new special orders made gameplay more exciting and varied! I could finally get rid of the nursery from my house without mods! The remixed junimo bundles made me change my usual game strategy. And then, I finally unlocked Ginger Island.
It seemed cool at first, but I had a sinking feeling growing in the pit of my stomach as I kept playing. It got to the point that I started nursing a stomach ache and lots of anger that took me days to shake off. I know SDV has never been a shining example of racial/ethnic diversity and sensitivity (I mean... there's a reason why mods like Diverse Stardew Valley and a bunch of other diversity mods exist lol). But while the lack of diversity in the pre-1.5 content is more of a missed opportunity, the 1.5 content is just... actively harmful and hurtful, imo. Here's a breakdown of the issues with the setting and the characters:
The Setting
Ginger Island, along with the Fern Islands in general, is a tropical island that is clearly based on islands in the Pacific. Its features include fertile soil and an abundance of natural, foragable resources. And for some unknown reason, it has no native human population.
Many islands in the world are uninhabited by humans, and there's always a good reason why. The island's environment may be too hostile, it could be too small to sustain human life, it could be sacred or otherwise culturally unacceptable to live there, or some disaster may have occurred to wipe out the local population or cause them to flee. Some uninhabited islands are nature reserves or privately owned. The point is that if an island is habitable, people are bound to call it home.
Writing Ginger Island as an uninhabited "tropical paradise" feels like a copout. It's as if the game is saying, "don't worry, you're not colonizing this land because no one really lives here! You're not stealing this land or anything because it's up for grabs and is just waiting for the right person to come along to develop it and turn it into a resort for other people who don't live here!" But that claim rings hollow when there are so many signs of civilization there, such as literal computers and ancient structures. And the canon reason for the existence of these things is that dwarves, non-human creatures, lived there once. I just think it's ridiculous and harmful that the game completely ignores and erases the existence of the people who lived and still live in the places that Ginger Island is based on and goes even further to use non-human creatures as stand-ins. I don’t think I have to explain why this isn’t good, considering that people of color have been compared to animals and treated like animals to dehumanize us and justify our oppression for ages.
To really hammer in my point about whitewashing and erasure, all the human labor on the island is done by a flock of parrots that you pay with golden walnuts (i. e., resources that you get for free from the island they live on). There's even an anthropomorphized bird who's a shopkeep! I get that creating a whole cast of human NPCs to fill a town would have been way too much work for a content update, but CA didn't need to use a bunch of animals as stand-ins for non-white human characters. There’s a troubling trend of creators prioritizing animal characters over characters of color, and CA plays right into it. He seriously chose to create more anthro characters instead of adding characters of color to the game in a setting that in real life has populations that are primarily made up of brown people. The game includes brown people's land and cultures, but it draws the line at brown people themselves.
The erasure of brown people and the portrayal of our lands as wild and untamed have been used to sanitize the narrative of colonialism for centuries. Pretending that our lands were wild tropical paradises that were ripe for the taking is pretending that colonizing forces didn't use violent, dehumanizing means to subjugate or wipe out countless peoples and cultures in order to make these lands available. Ginger Island's erasure of brown people just perpetuates this colonialist myth, and the context in which it does so disgusts me: the farmer, who already runs a successful farm that was inherited from their grandfather, goes off to a tropical island they have no personal connection to and uses its natural resources to expand their business further. They also open up a resort on the island for the enjoyment of other privileged people from their homeland, and going there is treated as a luxury. This is a classic colonizer narrative, and I cannot believe the game forces players to colonize an island in order to win.
The Characters
I'm honestly amazed that the amount of feedback about the lack of diversity in SDV didn't prompt CA to create characters of color. I'm amazed that he chose the setting he did and still didn't bother to create any characters of color. The fact that all three of the new human characters who live on this tropical island are white makes me go a little apeshit, to be honest! I hate all three of them for a variety of reasons, so I'll go over them one by one:
Birdie
My reasons for not liking Birdie are primarily related to misogyny (lady spent literal decades in isolation on this island moping over her dead husband?) and ageism (if you tell her to live her own life, she tells you that she's too old to???). Sooo they're not really related to the rest of my discussion here, and I won't get into them further. Moving on!
Professor Snail
White historians, archaeologists, and paleontologists have been stealing and plundering artifacts, relics, and fossils from colonized lands for centuries. These white scientists would send their “discoveries” back to their homelands with little regard for the people they stole from. I’ll acknowledge that Professor Snail doesn’t bring the bones and fossils off the island, so his character isn’t as awful as it could be, but he still canonically has this line:
I really just don’t understand why it was necessary to make this character white when making him a character of color could have easily prevented the uncomfortable real-world implications of a white man coming to a foreign land to plunder fossils without asking anybody for permission. If he he’d been created as someone who traced his ancestry to Ginger Island and wanted to study the island’s biological history, his character could have been so sympathetic and even admirable to me! But his character as it is just makes me think of this meme:
Here are some links for further reading about colonialism in paleontology and other social sciences: 1, 2, 3, 4.
Leo
I had a hard time figuring out how to write about this character because the way CA wrote him is arguably one of the most racist parts of SDV. So many aspects of his character left me speechless and appalled because I cannot believe people are still writing shit like this in the 2020s.
I’ll start off with his storyline: this white child gets stranded on an island and is raised by animals. When the farmer meets him, he speaks in broken English to show how “wild” he is:
As the farmer continues to interact with him, he begins to speak more “proper” English:
Wow... he’s becoming more “civilized” because of the farmer’s influence!
As his story progresses, he reveals that he’s lonely because he doesn’t fit in among the other birds. Eventually, he leaves behind his non-human family and assimilates into a primarily white, Western-coded society because that’s supposedly where he belongs.
This whole storyline is made possible by the problems with the setting that I mentioned earlier. Leo wouldn’t feel so lonely and out of place if there were people on the island. He wouldn’t be depicted as wild and animal-like if he had an adoptive family made up of humans instead of parrots. But because CA chose not to have native human characters on this island, Leo can only be around other people if he leaves his home and family behind. As a result, Leo’s story has very uncomfortable parallels with how colonizers have historically separated indigenous children from their families and cultures and forced them to assimilate into the dominant colonizer culture because they considered indigenous cultures to be savage and barbaric (1) (2).
Leo’s whole narrative unintentionally implies that a good life in a good community can only be had in civilized white Western societies. I’m honestly having trouble with further explaining why Leo’s whole character makes me feel so gross, so just read up on the White Man’s Burden, The Jungle Book and other works by Rudyard Kipling (1) (2) (3) (4) (5, PDF download link), and even Tarzan (1) (2).
Leo’s character is also used to further whitewash non-white cultures:
Poi is a Polynesian dish. Mango sticky rice, which is also a recipe that Leo teaches you in-game, is a Thai dish. In the letter, Leo says that the dish is from his home and enjoyed by his non-human family. Considering that he probably learned these recipes on Ginger Island, and that the only “people” who could have taught him this recipe are literal animals, including these recipes in the game in this way just reinforces the equation of brown people to animals. I’m not Polynesian or Thai, but I know that if CA had included a Filipino recipe in the game and not only had it taught to players by a white character, but also passed off as something from the white character’s culture, I’d be angry. I’ll repeat myself: The game features brown people's food and cultures, but it draws the line at brown people themselves.
I don’t think there’s any way to tweak or edit Leo’s character to fix the issues I described. No matter how we change things, he’s still an orphan raised by animals coded as indigenous people, and he assimilates into the dominant white Western culture. The only way to address these issues is to completely redo his character and even the setting of Ginger Island. Here are some options that I’ve thought of:
Leo is related to someone in the Valley and stays with them for part of the year.
Leo lives with his human family and community on Ginger Island.
Leo’s parents are specifically from Stardew Valley/Pelican Town and he wants to visit in order to reconnect with his heritage.
This list isn’t comprehensive, but it does show that there are so many alternatives to having yet another Mowgli story in Stardew Valley.
Conclusion
I don’t think that CA had bad intentions when he made this content, but the fact is that he did create this content. I’m not calling him a bad person. However, he does have a lot of racist, imperialist, and colonialist biases that he has yet to unlearn. Considering the setting and subject matter of the new 1.5 content, he really should have hired some sensitivity readers to avoid creating harmful content. The man’s sold over ten million copies of his game, and he certainly has the resources to put together a sensitivity team.
I can’t look at Stardew Valley the same way I did before 1.5, but I’m not going to condemn the game as a whole. I might play the game again someday, but I absolutely won’t be going back to Ginger Island. If you’ve enjoyed the Ginger Island content, then good for you! Please just keep all that I’ve written here in mind and accept that that content hurts some people like me.
If you’re a content creator, I urge you to get sensitivity readers if you’re featuring cultures that you’re not a part of to avoid making the same mistakes that I’ve discussed here. Creating from a place of understanding and respect can only make your work better and more accessible to a wider audience, especially to the people whose culture you’re borrowing.
#stardew valley#sdv#sdv leo#sdv birdie#sdv professor snail#racism cw#imperialism#colonialism#blabbering#ids for images are in alt text btw!
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ALRIGHT FUCKERS THIS IS GONNA BE A HELLA LONG MEGAPOST AS I WAS GIVEN THE OK
BASICALLY this is gonna be a collection of bullshit me and @blackfliesinbluesugar have come up with and drawn
It starts with Goldie still living in Ireland at 17-19 and Scrooge from ages 18-20 staying in Scotland. And long story short they're dumbasses as teens. Cliche forbidden romance type stuff. Goldie's dad has shot people in the foot for trying to mess around with Goldie or just even talk to her for too long. So the only logical explanation they have is make Scrooge hide in the barn when he visits.
Basically Scrooge chills in the barn for a while cause Goldie's the only one that ever really goes in there because she's in charge of all the chores there. Which is where the context of this post is from
After the first time they fooled around Goldie was like 'oh crap what if I got pregnant D:' and told her mom she's going through a phase of flowey/big dresses when in reality she's trying to hide a potential baby bump. Now her mom doesn't care because she's too caught up in the fact that Goldie is finally 'acting like a lady.'
So eventually because they never put together that 'hey, if we keeping doing this we're gonna end up with a baby', Goldie does end up pregnant. And because her dad is a dick and a 'I catch you with my daughter then you die' type of shotgun dad, Goldie is freaking tf out.
About a month after she finds out she's pregnant, the O'Gilt's (well mostly just Goldie and her mom lol) get invited to a fancy dinner and Scrooge is really wanting to see Goldie again. So what better way to see her than to travel to Ireland, steal a uniform, and sneak into said dinner party as a busboy. Problem is he can't risk Goldie's dad seeing him again so he tries to slick back his whiskers
But while Scrooge is running around, he eventually spots Goldie across the room. Now he's never seen her in anything fancy, usually just the flannel and green work skirt. And he just about dies 😭
By now she has a bit of a baby bump she's had to hide so she normally goes for high waisted dresses that immediately flow out.
Anyways, as Scrooge is putting on the uniform he realizes he has absolutely no idea how to actually be a busboy. He doesn't know the first thing about dining and stuff so he's just like AAAAAAA
As they both see each other, Scrooge gives a dorky grin and Goldie smiles before realizing he snuck in. Right when Scrooge goes to see her he gets dumped with a bunch of dishes he has to set. Goldie sees him struggling to figure out how to set a table and he just gives her a nervous grin while she's like 'oh you beautiful dumbass -_-'
She's turning red cause she's trying so hard not to burst out in laughter as Scrooge slips and a bunch of silverware falls on him
He's getting yelled at by the director but he's just giving Goldie a goofy grin from across the room.
Her parents: remember to be calm and not make a scene no matter wh-
Goldie watching Scrooge trip on the tablecloth: BWAHAHA
But as the dinner progresses, Goldie remembers Scrooge doesn't even know she's pregnant. So she keeps trying to tell him but they both constantly get pulled away to do other things.
Towards the end of dinner Scrooge gets a free moment and realizes then that 'holy shit I actually like really love her!' So he darts to wherever she is and is struggling to get it out cause he doesn't know how much time he has left. He eventually spits it out and tells Goldie he loves her and is immediately called away. Scrooge takes her hands and quickly kisses her cheek before running to wherever the director is calling him from.
Goldie is shocked and stays still for a moment but by the time the shock wears off she realizes Scrooge is already long gone and they don't see each other again. And now Goldie's like 'crap crap crap, he said he loves me and I didn't even tell him I'm pregnant.'
They aren't able to communicate for a while cause Goldie's so focused on trying to keep her family pleased while still hiding her baby bump, and Scrooge keeps getting sidetracked and forgetting to write. (You can't tell me that isn't something he'd do because he kept getting distracted in the life and times when coming back home). He has her address, and he has started a letter, and even his family knows about her. 3ish months pass of no communications until one night Goldie starts contractions.
She darts to the barn after the first contraction and realizes she has to do this alone. A letter takes a day to get to Scrooge and going to Scotland herself would take closer to 7 hours. At that point it would be safer to not move.
It's like 3am by the time she lays and the egg ends up being pretty small. The entire time Goldie was just getting sicker and sicker. She ends up too weak to even hide the egg and has a high fever. She seriously thinks she's not gonna make it for the first night she can barely stay conscious.
The next morning she has just enough strength to lazily hide the egg in the hay and sluggishly make her way back to the main house. Her parents are already up and she explains she started feeling iffy while doing chores and collapses.
Because her parents aren't completely heartless and she still is their daughter, her parents' main focus shifts to trying to nurse her back to health. They assume she fell with a bad flu and don't know she had spent all night laying an egg.
During this time she writes to Scrooge telling him to get over here asap, it's an emergency.
Goldie's parents take over her chores in the barn and the moment they said that Goldie went into panic mode again. During a lunch break she climbs through her window and runs to the barn to hide the egg better. She does, and she successfully makes it back to her room but collapses again and sleeps until the next day.
Scrooge arrives 3 days after she lays and now she's really panicking. She's still weak and sick, and her parents are coming closer and closer to finding the egg. Scrooge when he sees her is genuinely freaking out. Not only for the future and that he now has an egg, but because Goldie did it by herself in a dirty barn. She's still a little loopy even though it's been a few days and Scrooge just feels heart broken that he wasn't there to help. He starts going on a tangent about how she could have died but Goldie just kisses him to get him to stop blabbering.
Scrooge helps her clean up a bit cause even with her parents looking after her, she's still a mess. But as he's washing her and the egg up, they hear fighting from the main house. Her parents realized she wasn't in her bed. She starts crying and tells Scrooge he needs to run home asap because if her dad finds out he'll most definitely kill him and/or the baby.
(This was the first doodle for the au before deciding on an exact age/place/look so don't mind the sloppiness)
Scrooge escapes right as her dad comes in. She pulls the excuse of she thought she felt well enough to do chores.
Scrooge rn is running like a madman back to Scotland. He went from chilling with his family to being a father who's child needs to be kept secret within a day.
By the time Scrooge gets back home it's the middle of the night and is ngl feeling pretty overwhelmed. He tells Downy that he messed up and she's just like ??? So Scrooge holds up the egg and Downy just purses her lips like 'ah'
The next morning Scrooge explains to his family what happened and doesn't leave out any detail. Fergus and Downy obviously have mixed feelings. Scrooge is barely 19 yet he already has a kid??? But in the end they realize they can't change what's happened and focus on helping Scrooge protect this child.
Once the baby hatched, all mixed feelings from Downy erased and she just went into 'this is my grandbaby and no one will touch her' mood.
Scrooge and Goldie kept in contact from the moment Goldie gave away the egg. Because of the little incident of Goldie 'trying to do chores while sick,' she was put under close monitoring for the next few months and couldn't visit each other. After constant writing back and forth, they find a date to meet up half way between Scotland and Ireland so Goldie can meet her baby. They try to decide on baby names through the letter but they can't agree on anything. Goldie finds out that Scrooge moved out of his small Glasgow home and into McDuck Castle. He gives her the new location on the map as well.
The first time Scrooge tries to sneak out with the baby Fergus is just standing right outside with his brow arched and Scrooge starts freaking out.
Before Scrooge can apologize for trying to sneak out, Fergus just asks if Scrooge would like him to go with.
Scrooge is a little shocked but can't talk with the frog in his throat and just nods. Along the way Scrooge explains how he and Goldie have been trying to find the right time to sneak out for weeks because it was so hard for Goldie to get free time. She was sent to go across country to get supplies and uses that opportunity to go meet up with Scrooge and the baby again.
Fergus just nods and continues.
When they do see Goldie, she almost breaks down at the sight that the baby survived and is being raised in a good house hold and can't stop holding her. The baby is about 3 months old by now. They finally agreed on a name and she ended up being named Maryanne. (Yes Jelly and I chose that because it means Star of the Sea)
She has to give the baby back to Scrooge cause stupid teenage and still getting over pregnancy hormones are getting the better of her and she starts full on sobbing as she sits on the ground. Scrooge freezes cause he's like aaaaaa what do I dooooo while still holding the baby.
But Fergus crouches down to her and asks if she wants a hug. All Goldie can say is 'uh huh' and he just wraps himself around her. She hugs back and Fergus rocks back and forth until Goldie's calmed down.
'I'm sorry I pulled your son into the mess. I-I was just so scared that my papa w-would kill one of us that I didn't know what else to do.'
Fergus pulls her away so he can actually look at her. And part of him feels that tinge of fear and sadness that the two teens had experienced. He grabs onto her shoulders which causes Goldie to look up at him.
'While I dinnae agree what you two did was right. Ah'm proud of you. Because what you did, finding the will to give up a child for their own safety, took a lotta strength there, lass.' And before she can react, Fergus pulls her in again and let's it sink in.
Scrooge is still holding the baby but now he's sitting down and bouncing the cooing baby on his knee while watching the scene unfold.
Over the course of the next few months, Goldie visits as much as possible and she grows closer to the family and Scrooge every time. On the times she can't visit, Fergus accompanies Scrooge in order to protect them from Goldie's dad. She's had a few close calls with her dad, but nothing too serious
After those events, Goldie practically moves in with the McDucks and they work on raising Maryanne. However like in the Rosa series, they're still experiencing tax trouble and Scrooge says he's gonna have to go to South Africa. The baby is about 2 by now and Scrooge is almost 21, while Goldie is about 19 and a half.
(This next section was an accident but basically it started as jotting down ideas but turned into a fic after I said it would take 20 seconds to write but turned into 2 hours fjdbfndn)
Scrooge is torn between whether or not to go until Goldie says she'll go with him. And because she's stubborn, no one objects. So the three travel across the world together. Maryanne practically grows up on the sea and all of those adventures where Goldie is present in the DT17 Rewriting History book happen.
On adventures they trade off tying the baby to their backs until she's old enough to not need to anymore. Although for the more dangerous ones, one of them stays behind.
But because they weren't married and had a kid in their teens, they were generally looked down upon. It got to the point where they just started saying they were married in order to avoid conflict with others. And after a while they actually forgot they weren't in fact married
'Huh, I forgot we're not actually married.' 'WAIT WE'RE NOT???'
Or
'We're married' 'Oh ok, can i see your marriage records?' '... oh right'
But some old lady or old guy either way starts criticizing Goldie for being a young mother and they just deck the shit outta them and run. Or Goldie fighting someone with baby tied to her back.
Maryanne grows up to be an ocean cartographer and leads sailing expeditions and that's all we have for her. Also she has super blue eyes lol
That's basically almost all of the things we have for this au lol
#ducktales#ducktales 2017#disney#duck tales#don rosa#scrooge mcduck#goldie o'gilt#au#glittering goldie#scroldie#teen scroldie au#long post#really long post#megapost
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Farewell, sunshine
𝙋𝙖𝙞𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜: Jake × f!mc (Syianne)
𝙂𝙚𝙣𝙧𝙚: angst, a sprinkle of fluff
𝙒𝙤𝙧𝙙 𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙩: 4.9k (oof)
𝙎𝙪𝙢𝙢𝙖𝙧𝙮: All Jake ever wanted was to find his sister and protect the person who had helped him more than anyone. Only, he slowly began to realise that bringing Syianne into this had caused more harm than good.
𝙒𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨: mentions of blood, physical attack, violence, hospitals, medical coma, panic attack.
𝙋𝙧𝙤𝙢𝙥𝙩𝙨: Anonymous asked: 5. “Wake up! Please wake up.” MC and Jake finally get to meet for the first time, but everything is heavily dipped in angst. 😂 Also I adore your writing and keep up the good work!
Anonymous asked: Can you give us the most angsty jealous filled over protective short with Jake x MC i want all the ANGST to be seeping out of my screen
@mnrangera asked: Here's a nice angsty scenario for you: MC is in Duskwood continuing their investigation but is caught out in town after dark. They are on the phone with Jake when they are attacked by the Man Without a Face like Jessie was.
𝙉𝙤𝙩𝙚𝙨: I know this has been LOOOOONG overdue and I apologise for the wait. Thank you to all my followers for being patient, especially those who sent the requests in. I hope the long wait is worth it and you enjoy it. Also, please read the warnings before proceeding, I don't want any of you to be triggered by something I wrote. There may be inaccuracies in how I progressed medical conditions and general working of the hospitals so I apologise for that. Please do not repost or translate this fic anywhere else!! I'm literally begging you, please don't ruin my hard work like this. I would love if I could get some sort of feedback, whether it be reblogs or comments or just anon asks. I've tried to improve my writing and I hope it shows a little in this. This is my Christmas and New Year present all wrapped in one! I hope you all have a great 2021 <3
It was a cold, winter evening with the sky painted in a plethora of warm colors and Jake felt like finally things were going his way.
He, along with Syianne, had been working tirelessly for the past few weeks to find out what happened to Hannah. They had faced a lot of challenges along the way, with cryptic diary entries and threats directed towards them and their loved ones, but still, they'd prevailed and spent every ounce of free time, getting more information about Hannah's perpetrator.
They finally had the facts about what happened the day she was kidnapped and only the identity of the criminal was hidden. Syianne had suggested that she should go to Duskwood to try and find the last puzzle piece, to which Jake had been a little apprehensive. She argued that the rest of the group had already been through enough, with getting stalked and receiving threats and insisted that she should be the one to carry out her search in secret.
She never once asked for him to come along because she knew how dangerous it would be for him and she didn't want him to get caught. Jake was instantly warmed by the thought that someone cared so much about him, to think of his well being first.
So that night, as she called him to update him on her findings and plan after she went to Duskwood, he found himself speaking his thoughts impulsively.
"What if I came too?"
There was silence on the other end and Jake thought he might have overstepped or made it weird but she answered before he could stammer an apology.
"I'd like that. But only if you're comfortable and safe."
She told him to ruminate on it for a while and bid him goodnight. Jake thought about whether it was a logical thing to do. If Syianne planned to go undercover, he couldn't very well let her go into the lion's den alone. So he made up his mind and texted Syianne to let her know.
Jake [10:46 pm]
I'll come to Duskwood too.
Is it okay if we don't meet straight away?
I...I don't think I'm ready yet.
Syianne [10:47 pm]
I was lowkey hoping you'd say that ahaha
And of course! Take as much time as you need :)
That night, he slept with a smile on his face, excitement churning in his stomach.
⊱⋅ ──────────── ⋅⊰
Syianne was looking forward to her trip to Duskwood.
She knew it was a potentially dangerous situation and she was only going there to investigate but knowing that Jake might be there too, sent a spark of thrill through her body. They had been speaking non-stop for the past few weeks and she really liked talking to him. His answers to questions about him or his life were adorably confusing and Syianne realized that she really wanted to get to know him, be his friend or possibly something more, if their flirty banter was anything to go by.
Her bag contained all the essentials she could need, along with a sketchbook and pencils to use in case of boredom. She couldn't leave Matrix with any of her friends as they were either busy or allergic to cats so her only option was to take her along.
She had never booked a flight so fast. Knowing she would have to take a car from the airport to the rest of the way to Duskwood did nothing to damper her excitement. She couldn't wait to meet everyone once they found Hannah, some more so than the others.
The trip was nothing eventful, just a lot of travelling and it made Syianne a little tired but the idea of meeting her friends and finally putting a stop to all this madness, made her keep going. She wouldn't admit it if you asked her but she was looking forward to possibly seeing Jake as well. She knew he might not be comfortable enough to meet her yet and she completely respected that, but the thought still lingered.
She checked in to the only hotel Duskwood had, not meeting the receptionist's - Lilly's - eyes and was eternally grateful that she had only leaked her number and not her photo in that video. It would have been much more difficult to move about Duskwood, if that were the case.
The room they had was pretty basic, but not too bad for a few nights. Matrix prowled around the room, getting herself comfortable in the new environment while Syianne slowly unpacked the few clothes and necessities she brought.
In the corner of her mind, there was the thought that Jake might be staying at this hotel too and that sent a shiver of excitement down her spine. But she was a woman of her word and would wait until Jake was ready and would not try to look for him.
She had a mission here and she wanted to be damn sure that that's what she would be focusing on and save Hannah.
⊱⋅ ──────────── ⋅⊰
Jake was supposed to be in Duskwood about two nights ago.
He had encountered some issues with removing his tracks from the internet, as well as trying to find a safe way to drive to Duskwood without exposing himself. Working as a hacker did have some benefits and finally he managed to find a guy who made him three fake number plates that he would interchange every once in a while, so his whereabouts couldn't be traced.
He had let Syianne know of the unexpected delay but to his surprise, she was enjoying herself in Duskwood. She had told him that Jessy gave her a virtual tour of the town once and she was excited to explore all those places in person. She talked to him at night, describing the beauty of the small town and Jake felt himself growing wistful, wondering what they could do together if he had been there. But then again, hadn't he said that he wouldn't show himself right now? He was cautious - just as he had been all his life - but something about Syianne just made him want to let his guard down, to just be selfish for once.
He had no time to think further on it because finally, all the preparations and precautionary measures were done and he could drive to Duskwood. He couldn't leave Glitch at home because he had attachment issues and couldn't go without Jake for a long period of time. So he ushered him into his carrier and told him he could claw all the wood he wanted when they reached their destination and Glitch meowed in agreement. He had always been a smart cat, after all.
Changing the number plates every hour was exhausting, especially when he didn't do much manual work but he endured it, if it meant he was one step closer to finding his sister.
When he finally reached Duskwood, he was in awe of how normal it looked, how silent; how someone who didn't know that a girl had been kidnapped would think of this place as the perfect getaway. But he knew better, didn't he? This town held dark secrets, secrets that people weren't willing to acknowledge and he was going to expose them for what they were, no matter what it took.
Signing into the Duskwood hotel was as awkward as he imagined it to be, his half sister having no idea who he was and looking at his dark, baggy clothes suspiciously. He wasn't blaming her, he would have probably done the same if a strange man came out of nowhere to stay in Duskwood of all places. Lilly gave him a tight smile as he picked up his bag and key and made way to his room.
Syianne had texted him earlier that day that she would be checking out the lake in the evening, where Jessy was attacked. Jake was against it from the start but he should have known how stubborn she could be and eventually, he had to agree but only on the condition that she stays on video call with him the whole time. Syianne was evidently bewildered by his request, judging by the way she kept writing and erasing her reply but after a while, she managed to ask if he would be comfortable with that. Jake's heart warmed at her considerate words, never really having anyone who would care about his emotions, he was always surprised when Syianne said something like that. He replied that he would just turn off his camera or point it at the lamp or something but he had to be sure about her safety.
And that's why, he was sitting with his phone in front of him in the evening, camera turned off as he watched her fondly, pointing out the strange birds she saw.
"Ah, I wish you were here! The lake is so pretty this time and the light from sunset is reflecting off the water and it makes an amazing view," she said, voice breathy with the exertion of walking for a while and a tone of awe towards the scene in front of her.
"That's sufficient sightseeing, don't you think?" Her voice suddenly took a serious note and Jake straightened up in his chair. He was afraid but couldn't say anything. He had already agreed to let her go with a condition and he feared if he asked her to not investigate, she would probably end the call and keep looking for clues by herself. At least on the phone, he could look at her surroundings and made sure no one sneaked up on her.
"If you say so," he said half-heartedly, glancing at the surroundings behind her as she narrowed her eyes at his dismissive tone.
The next twenty minutes were spent with Syianne looking around the lake and Jake looking over her shoulder virtually. She had scouted the edge and went a little deeper into the forest, looking for a car, a boat, a mask - anything, really - but the search had proved to be futile so far. Everything was as peaceful as ever, no signs of any disturbance and it made Jake a little antsy. Nothing was ever this perfect.
"Well, since we can't find anything here, I think you should come back. It's getting late," Jake said, looking at the already darkened sky. It was an ominous red color and Jake was getting more and more worried as people left the lakeside.
Syianne frowned but didn't argue and that made him sigh in relief.
"Yeah, you're right. No use trying to find something that isn't there," she said and started walking again.
"Wait, you walked here? Didn't you bring your car?" Jake asked and she shook her head.
"Nope, I wanted to enjoy Duskwood and being in a car wouldn't have helped," she smiled at the camera and Jake let out an almost inaudible sigh. Why couldn't she care about her safety a little more? She was going to give him grey hair before he reached his thirties, that was for sure.
As he began to reply to her, he caught movement from the left side of the screen and instantly grabbed his phone, expanding the background.
There was a silhouette of a hand.
"Syianne, run!" He shouted, as the figure's arm came into view and she looked back in surprise before starting to sprint, the camera shaking from her movements.
Jake scrambled to get his car keys, not bothering with what he was wearing and ran towards the hotel parking, getting into his car and connecting the GPS to his phone, all the while listening to Syianne's panting breaths as she ran away from the man without a face.
Getting her location was no problem for him and he just hoped he would arrive there on time.
"Jake, I'm scared. I'm hiding behind a big building and I think he went on ahead," she whispered, voice shaky and trembling and Jake's hands gripped the steering wheel tightly as he glanced over at his phone to watch her looking around herself in a panic.
Five more minutes and he would reach her location. Jake had never been more thankful that Duskwood was a small town and the hotel wasn't so far away from the lake.
"I'm coming, Syianne. Just a little while more and we'll go back together."
"Okay, I think I'm safe for now," she said. There was a sound of slow careful footsteps as Syianne came out from behind the building.
The abrupt sound of a gasp almost made him lose control of the steering wheel and he increased his speed as he heard what sounded like a scuffle. Syianne had probably dropped her phone because it only showed the dark sky and sounds of her struggling against her attacker.
"No! Let–"
Jake let out a harsh breath, jaw tightening as he heard Syianne's scream. He drove straight for a bit and turned the next corner and saw the man trying once again to restrain her. His eyes saw red and he honked and honked like it was nobody's business, speeding towards them.
The man without a face seemed to have realised that someone was coming to help as he pushed Syianne roughly into the wall and ran away towards the forest. As much as Jake wanted to go after him, Syianne was his first priority and he quickly got out of the car, dashing towards her crumpled form, lying on the ground.
He fumbled with his phone, calling the local police and asking for an ambulance, his body shaking all the while, as he knelt down next to Syianne.
He felt tears welling in her eyes as he looked at her battered form and realised that she was bleeding.
"Syianne?" He spoke in a scared voice.
"Syianne!" He said more forcefully, repeatedly patting her face in hope she'll look at him but her eyes were still glassy and unfocused as if she couldn't comprehend anything.
"I'm...so sorry. I…" her voice trailed off as she struggled to breathe and Jake cried, seeing her in so much pain, when he couldn't do anything except wait for the ambulance to arrive.
After a moment, Syianne's eyes fluttered closed and Jake's panic rose to new heights.
"No, no, no! Wake up! Please wake up!" He shouted and begged but she didn't respond to his calls.
His hand was soaked in her blood from where he was applying pressure on the wound at her side. The blood hadn't stopped flowing and Jake was worried that she was losing too much, too soon.
"What do I do? What do I do?" He muttered to himself, adrenaline coursing through his veins, with only one thought in his head – to save her.
He heard sirens in the distance and was relieved to know that help was coming. He pushed up the fallen hood of his jacket up on his head and looked at Syianne for any signs of consciousness. Her breaths were shallow and eyes still closed.
Soon enough, paramedics rushed to the scene and immediately started tending to Syianne's wounds. Jake felt as if he was just a spectator, not being able to do anything but watch. Someone came up to him and started asking him questions, about how he found her, who he was to her and if he knew anything about the attack. He answered all the questions as carefully as he could, giving a fake name, because he still wasn't sure if the police department was in league with the kidnapper or not.
As soon as he was done with the questioning, a paramedic approached him, letting him know that they were taking Syianne to the hospital and he would have to come there for a bit of paperwork. Jake hesitated and said he'd drive there in his own car and the paramedic nodded in response and left.
He got in his car and put his head in his hands, shaking at the unfortunate turn of events. This wasn't how it was supposed to go. Syianne was just going to check out the lake and then surprise her friends the next day by telling them she'd be here for a few days and enjoy Duskwood together.
Jake was even thinking of meeting her in person and telling her that she had changed his life for the better. But his cowardice, his meticulous nature to not let anyone know who he was or where he was might have cost Syianne her life tonight. Even thinking about it had tears pooling in his eyes and he took a deep breath to bite back the sobs that were threatening to break once again.
He felt guilty, so so guilty and couldn't bring himself to start the car. He was pretty sure that if – no when – Syianne woke up, she would want nothing to do with the man who put her life in danger. With that thought rooted in his mind, he opened his phone and with trembling hands, sent Jessy a text about Syianne's accident. He received a reply almost immediately.
Jessy [8:46 pm]
What?
How did she come here?
You know what? If she's not okay, I'm going to hunt you down and make you pay.
Jake had no trouble believing she was telling the truth. All he wanted to do was help and now everything was falling apart. Taking a deep but shaky breath, he started the car but instead of going to the hospital, he turned towards the hotel.
⊱⋅ ──────────── ⋅⊰
Jessy had no trouble believing that the hacker was telling the truth. His texts were frantic and he practically begged her to go to the hospital to see Syianne. She had no idea how she got here, but hearing that she got attacked, just like she was, was enough to make her worry and drive to the hospital, after letting Cleo know. She figured that the rest of them deserved to know too.
She rushed to the front desk, breathless and worried, and one of the nurses told Jessy that the doctors were with Syianne and she'd have to wait until they were done to know how she was.
After some time of relentless pacing, Cleo arrived and Jessy filled her in on everything that the hacker told her, which wasn't much, but it gave them a good idea of what had happened. Cleo said that she hadn't told anyone else yet and that they should do so as soon as the doctors had an update on Syianne's condition.
About an hour later, a nurse came upto Jessy and Cleo, asking if they knew Syianne and upon their confirmation, led them to the room she was kept in. They weren't allowed to enter yet as the doctors were still in the room, but Jessy gasped when she saw Syianne's scratched up face, with bandages covering her head.
"Oh my gosh." Cleo breathed and Jessy felt a rush of sorrow as she averted her eyes.
The doctors after completing their examination, told them that Syianne was stabbed in the side but luckily it didn't puncture anything important and they closed up the wound to allow it to heal. What was more concerning, was the fact that she was hit on the back of her head.
"She most likely suffered from a concussion, in which case, it is of the utmost importance that the patient doesn't fall asleep," the doctor said and Jessy and Cleo looked at each other uneasily.
"But Syianne fell asleep…" Jessy began and the doctor gave her an apologetic smile.
"That's right. She was unconscious when she was brought here. The superficial wounds are taken care of, we just don't know when she'll wake up."
Both of them were too stunned to say anything and a call for the doctor from one of the nurses broke them out of their stupor.
"So, she's in a coma?" Cleo asked.
The doctor hesitated before answering.
"Essentially, yes. But we can't know for sure without further observation. If the injury isn't severe she'll wake up soon, we just have to monitor her constantly and look for any changes." He then walked off when his pager went off, most likely to see another patient.
"Don't worry, Jessy. She'll wake up soon," Cleo said, placing a hand on her shoulder, as they looked into Syianne's room, seeing her sleeping peacefully, as if nothing was wrong and she was just taking a nap.
⊱⋅ ──────────── ⋅⊰
As soon as she got home from the hospital, Jessy sent out a row of furious texts to the hacker, clouded by her anger and hopelessness. In her head, it was all his fault that Syianne was twittering between life and death. He was the one who asked her to come to Duskwood without letting any of them know, which caused her to be in such a terrible condition.
Everything was crumbling.
They were a tight knit group, always there for each other but when did it turn into a nightmare, Jessy didn't know. Emotion overtook her and she suddenly collapsed against the wall, keeping a hand on her mouth to muffle her sobs, and cried.
She cried for Hannah, who she had no idea whether she was alive or not. She cried for Syianne, who had become such a great friend to her. Most importantly, she cried for her relationship with everyone, that was slowly but surely, withering away.
⊱⋅ ──────────── ⋅⊰
Jake had been pacing in his hotel room ever since getting back, waiting on a word from Jessy. Glitch watched him with big eyes, as he stubbed his on the bedside and cursed. Sighing in defeat, Jake realised that it won't do any good to worry himself to death, but that didn't mean that his mind didn't drift off to the earlier scene.
Syianne lying on the ground. Blood pooled around her.
He shook his head in frustration, trying to get that image out of his head but to no success. Glitch, sensing that something was wrong, strolled towards him, rubbing and purring against his legs. Jake softened at seeing his efforts to calm him and he picked Glitch up, moving to lay down on the bed. He petted him, smiling at the way the cat burrowed himself further against Jake, curling his tail around his wrist.
After a few peaceful moments of cuddling, Jake's phone lit up with a text, which had him scrambling to grab it from the bedside. Glitch meowed in protest but Jake was too wound up to notice.
Jessy [10:25 pm]
She's in a coma
They don't know when she'll wake up
Jake felt all breath leave him as he read Jessy's text. He didn't know what to think, what to do, what he could do. Jessy didn't give him a chance to respond.
Jessy [10:26 pm]
Don't contact any of us ever again
I don't want to find Hannah this way…which leads to everyone else getting hurt
Please leave Syianne out of this
Saying her mind, Jessy went offline again. Jake took a shaky breath, trying to ground himself. Syianne might never make up.
No, he told himself.
He couldn't think like that. He knew she'd wake up, it might take a little time but she will. Because if she didn't, Jake wouldn't be able to live with himself.
He got another text from Lilly, saying she was sorry that it happened but he couldn't bring himself to write back. His mind was empty, body numb to everything around him and he was cursing himself for being so careless.
If he hadn't been so selfish, if only he didn't put all of this on her, if he had just reached on time, if, if, if.
That's all he thought of, as tears continuously trailed down his cheeks, an arm covering his eyes, the only thing on his mind being Syianne, just as it had been ever since he started talking to her.
⊱⋅ ──────────── ⋅⊰
The next day, Jake found himself holding a large flower bouquet and walking to Duskwood hospital's reception. He was trembling, scared out of his mind but he just had to see Syianne. So, he had braved his anxiety and was now standing in front of the receptionist, who looked at the abnormally large bouquet in his hands and raised an eyebrow. He cleared his throat.
"I'm here to see Syianne King, she was admitted here yesterday."
The receptionist's gaze sharpened as she looked him over and he partially hid behind the flowers.
"Only family members are allowed to visit," she spoke slowly and Jake bit his lip in frustration.
"I'm her fiance," he said and before the surprised receptionist could say anything, he continued, "I drove here as soon as I got the call but they wouldn't tell me what happened. Only that Syianne had been in an accident and I needed to get here as soon as I could and I—" he cut himself off, shuffling nervously and wiping away the tears that had managed to escape from his eyes.
The receptionist softened, seeing his genuine sorrow and care for his fiance and warmed her voice.
"Of course, I'm sorry for what happened. She's in room 309, third floor. The elevator is down the hall," she pointed and Jake thanked her profusely before walking ahead.
Him being Syianne's fiance might have been fake but everything he had felt was the truth and he felt overwhelmed now that he was here. Should he see her? Did he even deserve to see her after he put her in danger? Thoughts like this plagued his mind all the way to Syianne's room and they only stopped when he saw '309' written in bold letters on a grey coloured door.
His breath stuttered in his chest. He was second guessing his presence in the hospital, thinking whether he shouldn't have come. He stood in front of the door for about ten minutes, contemplating but when the nurses started giving him suspicious looks, he swallowed thickly and with shaky hands, opened the door.
Nothing could have prepared him for the utter despair and helplessness he felt, as he saw Syianne's motionless form on the bed, breathing as if she was just sleeping and would wake up any minute. But he knew that wasn't the truth.
She was here and it was his fault.
For the longest time, he just sat on a chair beside her bed and just looked at her. His eyes traced every injury, every bruise that was visible and he felt sick, blaming himself for letting it happen. She was still sleeping and suddenly, it just got too much.
There was too much light, too much beeping, the walls were too white, the flowers in his hands digging into his skin and he got up hastily, dropping the bouquet and backed into the furthest corner of the room.
His breath was coming in short bursts, it hurt to breath, to think, to stay upright—!
His legs gave from under him and he slid down, back against the wall, shaking hands coming up to wipe the wetness on his face.
He didn't even realise he had been crying.
His vision was a blur of dark shapes and in a distinct corner of his head that was still sane, he thought of what Syianne would have done had she been awake. He was sure she would kneel down in front of him and take his hands, running her thumbs against the back of his hands to calm him.
'Breathe slowly, Jake. Deep breaths with me, come on,' he heard her in his head and tried to slow down, breathing harshly at first but after a few minutes, his vision cleared and his breathing stabled to an acceptable rate.
His whole body shook with the sheer suddenness of the panic attack and he slowly tried to get up, holding onto the wall as a support as his gaze, once again, landed on the bed and it's occupant.
All at once, his head cleared and he knew what to do.
Snatching a sheet of paper from the notepad lying near her chart, Jake penned his thoughts, all his anguish, and his apologies on it. Not once did his hand shake as he wrote the note and not once did his mind waver from the decision he had made. At last, when he had said everything he wanted to, he put the pen down and glanced at Syianne's peaceful face.
His throat closed up but he swallowed once to make sure he didn't cry. No, Jake had no time for tears. It was his fault that this happened in the first place, so it was his responsibility that he would make it right.
He didn't know when she would wake but whenever it might be, Jake had everything he wanted to say, already written for her.
He bent down towards her and placed the softest of kisses against her forehead, knowing that it would be the only time he would ever get to do it.
She did not open her eyes and Jake stepped back with a miniscule tilt of his lips.
Yes, he would make everything right.
#duskwood#duskwood jake#everbyte duskwood#duskwood game#everbyte#jake × mc#duskwood jake × mc#jake × player#duskwood fanfic#duskwood fanfiction#duskwood jake × mc fanfic#viotence tw#physical attack tw#coma tw#blood tw#panic attack tw#please read the warnings carefully!!#and i hope you enjoy it ❤️
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Max + Identity in Season 2
In the pilot, when Max self-identifies who he is to Liz, he tells her, "I'm a son, I'm a brother, I'm a cop...I'm just a guy from Roswell." All of those pieces of his self identity are systematically destroyed in Season 2, to the point where in the season finale he's grasping onto the last thing he feels like might be real about himself -- his role as the savior. A role that he scoffed at before his death, that he didn't really seem to believe, until all of the things he did believe about himself were gone. And then he loses that too, upon the discovery that he's not the only one, that he lacks any form of individuality. That Jones is just like him.
We get our first hint that this is coming in 2x05 when Rosa and Isobel get a glimpse inside Max's mindscape. They are literally traveling through the dying remnants of Max's mind, watching as these pieces of him are slowly fading away. There are three key visual clues in these scenes that give us insight into how he sees himself.
Most obviously, in his mindscape he is fully dressed in his Sheriff's Department uniform. This is the self-identity that he projects to the outside world in Season 1. There are many good metas out there about the layers behind that. How he takes his hat off when he's not on the job because he doesn't feel he deserves it. But all in all, his internal self image is the deputy that the public sees. I’ll add a link below to one where Mo and I were discussing this.
He is surrounded by Liz. And slowly losing her. This could be (and is) a meta all on its own about his psyche in general. He said it himself in 1x03 when he told her that he loves her. "That's what everything is about for me!" And this is the visual embodiment of it. His internal identity completely encompassed and consumed by his memories of Liz and all the things that represent her for him. And yes, their slow degredation are a literal representation. Of his memories of her slowly disappearing, but I also definitely would argue that it's exposing his deepest fear as well - that she'll leave him again.
And of course, he is chained to the floor. We are still, at this point in the season, just getting a glimpse at the layers of trauma hidden within his subconscious, but this is a direct look inside of him and his trauma is right there staring him in the face. These are hidden scars that he hasn't even begun yet to discover, but slowly begin to reveal themselves throughout Season 2b. And I expect will be prevalent in Season 3 as well.
The progression of Max's identity crisis started from the moment he woke up, with a portion of his self literally erased through the loss of his memories of Liz. A lot was made of the sweetness of him telling her at the end of the episode "I am not whole without you." But in a sense that statement could have been almost a thesis for his character arc in Season 2. He spends the entire season not whole, losing little pieces of himself one by one until he's not sure who he is at the end of 2x13.
Once his memory returned in 2x06, it briefly seemed like Max was back to normal, but that quickly got undercut in the opening scene of the next episode when it was first hinted at that he shouldn't be using his powers anymore. In 2x07 it was suggested that Liz was just being overly cautious, but her fears were proved to be accurate in 2x08 when Max does use his powers and immediately suffers chest pain. Its a physical reaction to his powers that's further emphasized in 2x12 when he almost dies trying to kill Flint. Nothing was explicitly stated, but I still speculate he had a full on heart attack in that moment, or that the pacemaker briefly failed, given how hard it was to resuscitate him. But without his powers, he's not complete as an alien anymore.
In 2x09 he loses what he thought he understood about his own origin story. Sheriff Valenti's version of the incident in the group home not only undercut certain facts about himself that he always had believed to be true - that he was the solid, stable one. That he was the strong one. Suddenly he's being told that he's the traumatized one, that he's the one with the behavioral pattern of being a loose cannon.
He loses his job. Okay, officially he quit in 2x07 to search for Jenna, but let's be honest here...if he hadn't quit, then he certainly would have lost his job when Sheriff Valenti arrested him in 2x09. We saw in his mindscape and heard from his lips in the pilot how strongly he identifies as a cop. But now that uniform, and that identity, have literally been stripped away from him...and replaced with a new uniform, sexy Wild Pony bartender man!
So, we have him stripped of his identity as an alien with powers, stripped of his identity as a cop. And in 2x10 he gets stripped of his identity within his family, when he learns that he and Isobel are not related. All of those self-identified aspects of himself have disintegrated, and he's left floundering to figure out who he is without those things. Which is why he begins to throw himself into trying to regain his memories, potentially even at the expense of his health through the use of the serum. Because he is so desperate to find a truth about himself to hold on to.
But that journey is also doomed to undercut him. One of my favorite musical moments of Season 2 is the second time he experiences a memory flash triggered by his own reflection, at the end of 2x10, with the cover of Bullet With Butterfly Wings playing over the scene. @echoapothecary did a great set on this scene right after the episode aired... link below.
Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage
Someone will say what is lost can never be saved
Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage
Tell me I'm the only one
Tell me there's no other one
Jesus was the only son, yeah
Tell me I’m the chosen one
I think in the moment we were supposed to take the visual flash at face value and assume that this was about Max's trauma from being imprisoned as a child, but on rewatch (and frankly, listening to the song over and over and over…) I really think the choice was more about identity, and foreshadowing the reveal of Jones as a mirror, clone, relative, something….to Max?
While in the middle of the S2 experience, one of my favorite gif sets that @maxortecho made for me was this idea of Max, and people constantly cutting him down, while Liz loved him regardless of those things (linked below). At the time I was really focusing on him and his reaction to being constantly told he was a let down. Add to that the appearance of Diego in 2x10, and Max isn’t even trying to hide his low self esteem and feelings of insecurity anymore. But take those constant undercuts and add to it the tidal wave of an identity crisis as all of the things you believe to be true about yourself fall apart, and we're left with the Max we see in the last couple episodes of Season 2. A man on a mission, manic and desperate to figure out who he is now, exacerbated by the fact that he's literally on drugs (the serum).
Only then, in his desperate, manic state, does he find himself willing to believe the implausible (to him) reveal at the end of Season 1 that he might be the Savior. Because it's the last thing that makes him unique, that makes him feel like he has a role, a purpose…until he loses that too at the end of the episode when they release Jones, a literal copy of himself, from his prison.
All of these gifs were gratefully borrowed from @maxortecho, with two exceptions. Wild Pony Max 🔥 is @rosaortecho’s work, and Howdy 🧔🏻 is (I think) @darlingnotso’s. (Please correct me if I’m wrong).
#roswell new mexico#max evans#rnmmarchformeta2021#my meta#long post#tw trauma#tw near-death-experience
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This is how it's done
Episode 5.15 at last.
While the emphasis has been on Nia's story in this episode, the synopsis made it clear Alex, Kelly and J'onn had a secondary storyline running as well. So again we were eager to watch knowing they were finally getting more than a token few minutes together.
Did it deliver?
Oh hell yes.
You just have to look on Twitter to see the praise being heaped on it by fans.
But first let's get the elephant in the room out of the way. William.
The opening sequence as Kara is fighting with Nia, and Nia has to be the one reminding Kara she has a date? Already covered by me and others, but to reiterate: that does not give a vibe of someone excited to be going on a first date. You can't even use the excuse of her mind was on the fight, because so was Nia's.
As to Kara at her apartment with Alex prior to the date?
Those words, "Cancel it for me."
Lets say (for arguments sake) it is nerves again speaking. Maybe it is, but that she is even having those thoughts? That she completely forgot about the 1st date, and needed reminding? If Kara can't get invested in the date, how are the audience expected to become invested?
As for the date itself. Kara arrives.... having been told by Alex to wear the blue top because .... well reasons .... and she is wearing the purple? So, not wanting to go with the best look then?
I didn't mind the date per se, although I did wonder if Kara was simply trying to not show pool skills, because I can't believe for a second, with Alex as a sister, and the control Kara now has on her powers (worry over lack of control would be the only other reason for her hesitation that I can think of), Kara hasn't been pulled into playing many times.
Did I get a date vibe? No. I felt more bonding yes (like why has it taken until now to even vaguely have that much), but date? Nope. Still not feeling it. If any of the above was a one off instance, you could shrug it off. But all of them? Sorry but as I say, if Kara isn't that invested in a first date, then we can't be expected to be as invested. However, that isn't to say that William annoyed me. In truth having him more on the sidelines was a relief as it finally allowed others to get some much needed screen time.
The Nia storyline.
This is obviously one extremely close to me, as my husband is transgender, and we have other family who are also transgender.
Nicole's input was definitely felt. Some of the lines she spoke were ones we have said ourselves almost word for word.
This is a topic that is one I've been extremely vocal about, and one in particular I have spoken about (in the William and Kara at CatCo scene) is the figures for transgender people killed in the last year alone in the USA, but more importantly that this number is likely not a true representation as many who die are misgendered after death.
It was so important to show just how bad for the transgender community it is. And no, it wouldn't necessarily be a fact Kara would know. Even those in the LGBTQ community aren't always aware of these figures. As for William being the one stating the figures back to Kara, again in the context I had no qualms about it. In fact having a CIS straight man write the piece and be a supportive ally is an important message in it's own right. I was worried that wouldn't come across, but I felt it did.
If ever there was a line that spoke volumes in this weeks Supergirl episode it was this:
"They want us to be invisible because of their own fears, they want to erase us so...... we need to shine even brighter." - Nia Nal
And shine Nicole Maines (and Roxy Wood, because the additional line about being a Black transgender woman - take my heart, stomp over it, then expect me to function), did. Both deserve so much praise on the way they delivered their performances.
I genuinely cried at some of this weeks episode, because the experiences have been ones we have faced as a transgender household. Being white does afford us a privilege that Black transgender people (especially the women) don't have. But as I say, it has been something I've been vocal about for a long time.
Lastly Kara and Nia on the balcony. Holy mother of god (or goddess), tears. Again. Nicole and Melissa once again were so good it felt like a punch to the gut. Kara wiping that tear off Nia's cheek. Big ugly sobbing from me. Gah! Just ....
Now Alex and Kelly. While I'm still craving a nice intimate atmosphere at home with them, having had so little of Dansen (and Kelly) it was a relief that for once Kelly wasn't given diminished screentime. Not only that, she was instrumental in helping Alex navigate through the VR world.
Alex having that PTSD flashback to being in the tank. Whoa, finally acknowledging it affected her and obviously still does. I loved how Kelly is so good at helping Alex maintain her equilibrium. You could tell it wasn't just because of her training or profession, but as a girlfriend who knows and understands how to communicate to Alex in that moment of stress, much like Alex was able to realise Malefic was manifesting as Kelly in the earlier part of the season, simply because she knew her girlfriend well enough.
Watching Alex train to get used to the Martian weapon, felt very reminiscent of S1 where Alex was training Kara early on. It was good to see her off balance for once in her training, as she has always shown a confidence in her ability until now. For those who complain she brought up wanting to be back at the DEO, as someone who has heavy military presence in our family (for at least 4 generations on my maternal side), I can safely say, going from military (and remember the DEO is recognised and spoken about in canon as being a military operation), and suddenly and unexpectedly thrown back into civilian life is one heck of an adjustment. It's an adjustment for most even when they know it's coming. To be so abrupt, so unexpected? Alex is going to want that structure back, and have that support around her. It is absolutely not unrealistic for her to feel this way or to talk about it. I would've been more surprised if she hadn't.
"And this is my gun."
Alex giving no crap. The whole rescue sequence was a joy to watch.
If I had a complaint, as I mentioned, I would've loved just a moment of real quiet intimacy between Kelly and Alex. We've barely seen anything of that sort. I hope we get something next episode (which also looks amazing from the trailer).
I could go through the episode and pick up so many times on how good it was. It was so much, I know I will have forgotten something I wanted to say. But I'm exhausted (almost no sleep will do that to you, damn being in the UK and these stupid o'clock viewing times), and it was so much to unpack.
Brainy, was barely in the episode but damn, so lovely (& heartbreaking) to see him give the information to the NCPD to help against transphobic attacks.
Onto a side plot, but finally we have more about Leviathan.
Leviathan have those bodies suspended.
What if William dies in 5.19 and becomes one of those suspended bodies for 5.20 or was supposed to, as Nicole mentioned on her Instagram story they still had scenes to film, and a couple were pretty amazing? With Staz back, would it have involved him, possibly as a sleeper agent? I've touted this idea before. While I would prefer that a MOC isn't cast into being a bad guy again, or killed off, I would more than happily see him simply go back to London and The Times. But I guess we wait to see what happens there.
But if, like Russell in 5a, he becomes an unwitting agent of Leviathan & a bad guy, cue fight scene, possibly in a VR setting? Maybe? Who knows.
Last but by no means least - they killed off Jeremiah. Since we're not entirely sure if Cadmus operated in the same way on Earth Prime as they did on Earth 38, we don't yet know the circumstances behind his death.
Will we get more explanation about it? Honestly I'm not overly bothered unless it helps serve a current storyline. Merely because episode numbers are running out, and it does at least bring us closure on his character one way or another. Something a lot of us have questioned for so long now.
As for complaints, the only ones expressing any real disappointment have been fans who have either regularly attacked other fans (especially those of in the SC or Dansen fandoms), or the outright transphobic users (I won't call them fans), who as the episode makes clear, are everywhere. The transphobes come out in force everytime with Nicole, so it isn't a surprise to see them again. As Nia says, it what transgender people face on a daily basis.
Plus with no Lena in the episode, it helps show that fans didn't need a Lena/Kara centric episode for this to garner such positive reactions, particularly from the LGBTQ fans. In some ways, as many have been saying (yes even SC fans), this Lena drama has long since gone by its sell by date and not having Lena once more stuck in her laboratory wasn't missed. And god, I say this as a huge Lena fan. I still want her on screen of course, but we need progression on what is happening with her. Both Lex and Lena have felt stale of late, and while I know it changes as we get into the last few episodes, I can truly say neither was missed this time. And before anyone jumps in, no this isn't bashing SC (I still ship both Dansen and SC, as well as Brainia), or saying SC shouldn't happen, or Lena is evil, or not needed. I don't think that at all. I merely am getting tired of a merry-go-round on Lena in her laboratory that we've had of late, & the only interaction has been with Lex. Time to break her out of that cell!
I don’t know what they were putting in the water in Vancouver when they did the Batwoman and Supergirl episodes this week, but they both had me simultaneously laughing & crying! It looked ugly for a minute there.
Both were outstanding episodes.
As much as I've had my criticism over some of this season, when Supergirl get it right like they did here, they soar! This was one of my top episodes for the entire series.
And despite all the news in the world right now, Supergirl trended on Twitter again.
Gif courtesy of @ Daily_danvers on Twitter.
#supergirl#lgbtq#kara danvers#chyler leigh#katie mcgrath#alex danvers#azie tesfai#nicole maines#kelly olsen#nia nal#jesse rath#j’onn j’onzz#jon cryer#david harewood#lena luthor#melissa benoist#representation matters#transgender hero#transgender#trans woman#trans man#trans pride
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I'm very late on asking this question but what makes the situation from Raising the Barn any different from the situation from Maximum Capacity since it had two characters(Lapis and Amethyst)guilt-tripping the other(Greg and Peridot)? I feel like I know the reasons why it seems different if we are going to bring up why Steven calls out amethyst, which I actually 100% understand but not Lapis despite both making shity actions but I want to hear your take on this because it's interesting to me.
Sorry, I tried to answer this ask a couple times but my computer kept lagging and erasing my progress rip. I think the greatest difference between the situation in Maximum Capacity and Raising the Barn is perspective, particularly Steven’s flawed perception of Lapis character.
In Maximum Capacity, Steven gets reasonably upset about what Amethyst did. Greg and Amethyst are his family, whom he’s known all his life. He knows them, he knows that Amethyst knows better, and he knows that Greg doesn’t deserve to be treated like that. As far as Steven’s personal (but justified) bias is concerned here are two ticks against Amethyst in this situation: she’s harassing his father and she’s mocking his mother. Keep in mind, this episode came well before he started questioning Rose’s character and even before the war itself was even mentioned, so he still viewed her as this mysterious, saint-like figure who could do no wrong. He got mad at Lars for calling Rose “weird” and he jumped into action when Amethyst shapeshifted into her.
Steven has a unique relationship with Lapis that is different from everyone else in the show. He really doesn’t know her very well, and what he does know is tragically sympathetic, and I think that’s where a lot of his poor judgement comes from. She was trapped in a mirror, the CGs never released her or even acknowledged her sentience, her gem was cracked, and she wanted to go home. Even before this, she was Steven’s “Beach Summer Fun Buddy” and his first introduction to a larger gem existence. Peridot, on the other hand, was a threat and an enemy from the very beginning, and while she has been a Crystal Gem for a significant amount of time, she’s still learning how to communicate effectively and be a good friend.
So, in the case of Raising the Barn–and every time Lapis has done something shitty, tbh–Steven is soft on her because the most prominent part of her past that he knows of is her trauma and he doesn’t hold her accountable for her actions as a result. He doesn’t know what Lapis was like before she was poofed and put in the mirror, and he doesn’t even know what she’s like a day to day basis because she doesn’t live with him.
Like I said in that other ask you sent, Amethyst blamed Greg for taking her mother figure from her and held him responsible for giving her the attention she lost when Rose “died.” She guilt-tripped him by claiming that “I had someone who was always there for me until she started hanging out with you!” and “I bet you’d stay for her!” before finally changing into Rose, which made him upset. In Barn Mates, Lapis blamed Peridot for “dragging her back to Earth,” thus contributing to her feelings of confinement, and I suspect that this is the basis of all the problems in their relationship. We don’t know much about their relationship post-Barn Mates and pre-Raising the Barn, but Peridot’s behavior didn’t just happen in a vacuum. I guess it could be “Lapis hated me that one time and I’ve been overcompensating to be her friend ever since” but I just don’t think that’s the case. Like I said, we–through Steven–haven’t seen what they’re like together on a day to day basis, but we have seen that Lapis has control issues and Peridot stated that she experiences a “general sense of complete hopelessness” on a daily basis, likely in the absence of Homeworld’s structure. I imagine she depended on Lapis’ approval to boost her own self-worth outside the system.
I know, this is a lot of speculation that doesn’t really answer your question, so here’s the short of it: I believe Steven is soft on Lapis bc all he knows about her past is getting put in the mirror and used as a tool. I wouldn’t say that he doesn’t get onto her for actions, but he is softer on her than he is with anyone else, and there lies the problem. I feel that another large part of this is the fact that Lapis leaves whenever something bad happens. Released from a mirror she’s been trapped in for thousands of years? Leaves. Has to choose between siding with the gems who left her in the mirror for thousands of years or fusing with Jasper? Fuses with Jasper and leaves. Wakes up from a bad post-fusion nap? Leaves. Steven’s in trouble with the Diamonds? Leaves. That’s probably the biggest reason he treats her the way he does: he’s become so scared of her leaving that he’ll excuse her actions, her cowardice, just so she feels comfortable enough to stay.
#steven universe#asks#lapis lazuli#amethyst#theories#god this is a lot longer than I wanted it to be
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