i cannot explain how simultaneously complexly fascinating and deeply hilarious this fucking intimate coming out scene between flint and silver is in the s3 finale of black sails.
like. imagine you are james flint. you have a horrible secret tragic backstory you won't tell anyone about how you became the fearsome and capable pirate captain you are today. that tragic backstory involves being the bisexual unicorn for a rich couple's poly triad dreams in 1700s england. you confide in someone outside of this dynamic for the first time after everything happened about what happened because they asked to know. you bare your soul uncharacteristically about being bisexual, polyamorous, and griefstricken. nobody else but one person in your life has seen this of you. the person you confide this to is someone that genuinely worried about you killing them in front of your entire crew like, literally 10 days ago, for confessing to betraying you abt smth that took months of efforts and dozens of death to try to achieve. this person, who is the most kindly understanding and softspoken person on your ship of ragtag hardened pirates, looks you in the eyes by the soft lighting of the campfire under cover of nightfall after burying literal and now metaphorical secrets, and says, in order, to your FACE, that 1) firstly he is a hashtag gay ally (in the 1700s) and so sorry for your loss but 2) he's been thinking lately it's kind of weird everybody around flint dies and he doesn't want to be next bc everybody flint trusts is a dead man walking bc 3) hey flint have you ever considered maybe it's your fault this happened and that you are doomed bc of just who you are as a person? and 4) but it's okay actually bc if it came down to it i think i've grown as a person enough that if anyone dies in this partnership it will be you 😤
like. to his face. i repeat, to the face of the most feared pirate this side of the americas, who has considered killing him within the past month or two, who opened up to silver in the most baring way possible for a regular man, much less a man like flint--to his FACE silver said that "maybe the homophobia you experienced that ruined your entire life was actually your fault for existing and everybody you love is doomed to die because being around you is a curse :/" in the most GENTLY understanding tone of voice while staring deeply into his eyes and professing genuine care and friendship and respect for him.
i'd lose my mind. i'd implode. no fucking wonder flint takes a preparatory, longsuffering swig of liquor with the most exasperated expression i've ever seen on a 40+yo man's face the literal second silver's mouth is open for longer than 2 sentences. silver is SO goddamn lucky this man stopped seeing him as an enemy 6 weeks ago and instead switched to begrudgingly ominous mentor and weird older brother.
and they're both still being friendly about it like silver isn't casually portending one of their deaths because of the other because of the inherent darkness of their souls and like flint hasn't killed men on his own crew for saying less than this behind his back. this is fucking insane energy. i want to study them both. i want to microwave them at high heat. i want to put them in a jar and shake it. you two really live like this?
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Have a doc filled with Mario headcanons and wanted to share the sexualities part because fuck it, it’s still pride month.
Disclaimer since it’s relevant to this post : I headcanon that Peach, Daisy, Wario and Waluigi are all creatures from the world of the Mushroom Kingdom who look the way they do due to magic gems (those blue and green gems that Peach and Daisy have respectively). Peach is a Toad, Daisy is a Dino-Rhino (unless those flower people from Mario Bros acid trip Wonder are from her Kingdom, then again I like Daisy being a giant cool Dino, plus the trailer for Wonder showed several other big animals), not sure for Wario and Waluigi but they’re not humans. The Super Crown works the way it does because there’s one of those gems in it.
Also, since it’s briefly mentioned, what I call the “main” continent is made out of the Mushroom, Koopa, Bomb-omb, Thwomp, and Goomba kingdoms. Sarasaland (retconned into Flower Kingdom now ?) and other kingdoms are on other continents (yes I know in Superstar Saga the Beanbean kingdom is neighbors with the Mushroom. But since they never appear in other games, I’ve chosen to ignore that detail).
Anyways, onto the headcanons :
- Mario : Transmasc Aromantic Heterosexual ; he realized he’s aro after finding out Peach is a Toad and losing sexual interest in her (felt bad about it at first because he thought he fell out of love upon discovering Peach at her most vulnerable, Bowser made it worse for him by accusing him of liking her only due to her human form) ; him being transmasc is why he’s named Mario Mario (he thought it would be funny)
- Luigi : Cis Bisexual ; had a fling with Peasley + loves Daisy ; he’s gender non-conforming and sometimes shares clothes with Peach, he also trains his voice to be higher-pitched for the heck of it (+ it can help in case he has to take Peach’s place for a kidnapping)
- Peach : Demiromantic Pansexual ; is cis-passing in human form but is technically transfem due to being a Toad
- Bowser : Omnisexual ; Cis tho I like the idea of him being transmasc and birthing Junior’s egg
- Yoshi and Birdetta are T4T + poly (hence Birdetta flirting with others) ; Birdetta’s eggs aren’t actually eggs (insert joke about her “eggs” being white) ; not sure if “all Yoshis that lay eggs are female” but at least all those that lay eggs that can be fertilized are female (and on that note YOSHI MIGHT BE CANONICALLY TRANSMASC ???!!!) ; Yoshi is straight while Birdetta is plurisexual (bi/pan/omni etc)
- Daisy : Straight + intersex + transfem (imagine if Prince Haru from the 1986 movie was her appearance pre-transition, but remove the whole “Peach’s fiancé” part of the plot, or the plot as a whole since the events of this movie didn’t happen here, just keep Haru’s design as “Daisy before transitioning”)
- Big fan of the headcanon that Kamek is gay ; he doesn’t date because 1. He’s busy 2. He’s getting too old for this 3. He’s devoted to his son and grandchildren which takes all his free time
- Depending on which creature he is Wario would be cishet though I could also see him be plurisexual (bi/pan/omni/other label that has to do with dating more than one gender ; I like putting diversity in queer headcanons but I’m not the most knowledgeable on labels past the most common ones)
- Not sure for Rosalina, either aroace or she’s allo but just stays single due to her life situation ; probably non-binary (she/it, could also be a play on the fact that some see her as some kind of goddess)
- Pauline is Cis Lesbian and her and Mario parted on good terms after he came out as trans on top of other reasons (basically they still care a lot about each other but realized they were better off as friends, the whole “unknown aro + transmasc with lesbian” simply gave them an easier excuse to break up)
- Really not sure for Bowser's kids, the only ideas that are "set in stone" are that Ludwig is gay, Wendy is attracted to boys (doesn't meant she can't like girls), Lemmy is demi-boy (they/him) and Morton is attracted to girls (like Wendy it doesn't close the door for liking men).
Not sure for the rest, though I could see Iggy using he/neopronouns (likely xe/xem) and at least one of them being interesex. Btw the older kids say they don’t date because they’re busy with royal duties but the truth is they are just incredibly awkward + they can’t ask their dad for advice since he’s a romantic disaster
- I could see Toadsworth be aroace, since even in his younger years he cared more about raising his surrogate daughter than dating + he never pressures Peach into marrying ? In general he doesn’t seem to care about romance ? ; he’s also transmasc because Toad
- After seeing Bowser’s Inside Story and the beginning of Dream Team, Starlow is a lesbian crushing on Peach (is very buddy-buddy with Peach despite barely knowing her, makes a big deal out of Peach being kept safe, calls her “Peach” instead of “Princess” from the get go, at times seems to see Peach as the best person in the room)
- Toads and Goombas are naturally agender because mushrooms ; some choose to express a specific gender (ex Toadsworth, Toadette, Peach, the Toads and Goombas from the first two Paper Mario) ; some may use gendered pronouns even if their presentation doesn’t display any specific gender (ex Captain Toad using he/him despite looking like any other Toad) ; basically every Toad/Goomba that use gendered pronouns (or neopronouns) is technically trans and/or non-binary ; cisgender Toads/Goombas go by they/it ; the Super Crown gem gives the shape the Toad see themselves as but it doesn’t have to be cis-passing or even gender conforming, can be androgyne (Daisy took a while to figure herself out, hence her gem giving her Haru’s look at first ; she's not from an agender species but the way the gems work still applies to hers, hence mentioning how her being trans worked on that front)
- That previous point implies either all Toads have the same metabolism and thus all grow facial hair (Peach having to shave tho) or they have mushrooms that serves as HRT for those who want more “masculine” or “feminine” traits (hair/facial hair and tone of voice) ; the color of their hats has nothing to do with gender for Toads (ignore Nintendo’s weird obsession with making every female character in the Mario franchise pink)
- Sexual dimorphism in general is very rare/limited in this world (only the Beanbean kingdom has it ?), in “main” continent, Koopas are the ones where it’s the most present and even then it’s very minimal (genitals, who can lay eggs, possibly size but even then not really since Pom Pom is the only one smaller than her male counterpart, Wendy and other female Koopas aren’t particularly small)
- Toads (and other species) experimenting with gender could be due to seeing Koopas make the distinction between “male” and “female” and finding the idea of changing your appearance based on how you feel to be fun (even though you have the concept of male and female Koopas, there’s no transphobia in Bowser’s kingdom) ; by that point it’s common for Toads to change however they feel and go by any pronouns they want, just because they’re aware of the concepts of masculinity and femininity doesn’t mean they have to follow it to the letter with their pronouns unless they want to
- On that note, I could see Toadette as genderfluid, though she most often goes by she/her ; I could also see one or several of the other main Toads (Ala Gold, Bucken Berry, Captain Toad, "The" Red ToadTM) be bi-gender
- Not sure what’s going on with Waluigi but he’s definitely queer
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