#but i just...
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Sent an email to my entire family about my sister being diagnosed with brain cancer over the weekend.
Just received an email back from my other sister, who I have not talked to since 2015, and before that weird day since 2010, so basically 13 years of mutually agreed upon complete non-communication, telling me I write so well, even when writing about sad things, and have I ever considered being a writer?
I...
#ignoring that writing was a key part of my career#communication in general being a key part#and one i was consistently complimented on#getting this specific feedback#from this specific person#this sister is barely literate#this actually might be the first encouraging thing she has ever said to me#over an email about other sister having incurable fucking cancer#she didnt even reach out to other sister#i...#i dont know what to do with this#maybe just email her pdfs of my scientific articles???#a link to my AO3??#she likes my EMAILS??#there is so much more to say about this person#but i just...#WHAT
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Hello! I’ve liked your fics for a long time, and was wondering if you would write something with fem- presenting Loki? There are some gender-fluid Loki fics on ao3, but I Need More To Live. I would write one, but I wouldn’t ever finish it.
I really want Loki to join the avengers in 2012 so that the other stuff doesn’t happen. sometimes I want Loki and Natasha to make fun of the rest of the avengers.
Idk I just really like the idea that Loki and Natasha would be friends. Or Loki and Wanda. (Except for all of the aforementioned characters got done so dirty by MCU. Isn’t that like a trope? Kill off the girl so the guy has a motivation to defeat the bad guy? Like from Green Lantern or something?
And Loki and Wanda got rewritten.). Whatever. I’m PERFECTLY OKAY! *eye twitches*
That kind of turned into a rant. Sorry.
Here are more of my headcanons, because I’d rather dm someone on tumblr instead of actually making a post on my blog. I’m weird.
-Loki was friends with Tchaikovsky and Mozart and Shakespeare. Maybe even Paganini, or like Ada Lovelace. Or Albert Einstein. Basically a lot of historical figures and also musicians from the 1980s.
-Loki is an honorary gay, because he’s an alien and aliens don’t have human concepts of gender and sexuality. But also you saw that 🏳️🌈hand flip🏳️🌈 he did in the 1602 episode. I mean, he was just being so gay in that 1602 episode. It was beautiful.
-Loki is a sad little boi. 🥺🥺
-Loki is a good little boi who got did dirty by MCU and Odin. (🥺🥺)
-Loki isn’t always a boy.🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️(unfortunately no gender-fluid flag emojis so 💕🤍💜🖤💙)
-Loki knows all the languages.
-Loki would watch anime and Kdramas if HE WASN’T DEAD.
-Loki is a theater kid.
-Loki is cat
-Loki knows how to play ALL the instruments. He likes cello the best though. Also he has perfect pitch.
-Loki needs therapy. Like two blue whales worth of therapy.
-If Tony and Loki ever had a long conversation, they would figure out how to solve world hunger and climate change and overpopulation AND THEIR MOTHERS. (It doesn’t make sense but just roll with it)
-Loki is a Major Fucking Nerd About Everything.
-Loki likes calculus as a hobby.
-Loki is, (un?)fortunately, a British stereotype.
-Loki ships appledash and narusasu.
Thank you for coming to my Ted talk. Bye, and thanks for letting me dump headcanons on you.
Hi! Thank you so much for sharing all of these with me, it's so fun to see other people's headcanons about Loki and their excitement about his character. I love discussing this blorbo and cracking him open like an onion to peal away layers of trauma and reveal the nerd beneath.
Lol, the amount of times I've thought about doing an MCU rewrite post a1 to fix everything is insane. If I did do this, I'd actually probably start at civil war, because personally, I feel like everything was (generally) actually okay and enjoyable until infinity war. Civil war is just a good place to kick around the fix-its because everything is such a mess.
As far as your request goes, it might surprise you, but you're actually NOT the first person to approach me about a genderfluid, fem-presenting Loki. More like the....4th? or maybe 5th? Idk. I've definitely been approached by multiple people over the years about this. Firstly, thank you for trusting me with your idea and your headcanons, I'm humbled and honored that you would approach me about this because you believed I would be able to write the story in a way that you would find meaningful and enjoyable <3
Second - I really just don't know. My first inclination is to say no, not because I'm not interested or don't care, but mostly because I'm so busy right now I really don't know when I'll be able to get to the story. Plus, I'm really not sure how to go about this. I'd need to figure out what direction I wanted to take the story, because Loki being genderfluid wouldn't change that much except their outward appearance. Loki + genderfluid + Natasha friendship is an amazing concept, but it's not a...plot, if that makes sense? "Fixing" a1 could be 50,000,000 separate things, and if it goes out as a fix-it for mcu, that would be an enormous project. Easily 200k-400k+, which would take me like...uh 1-3 years to write.
Loki being genderfluid IS something I've thought about just adding to my fics in general now (i'm really not sure, because I love cis male Loki, and I know it's canon that he's genderfluid, but I kind of disregard most things from the series anyway?) but Idk?
+ and this is just a personal one for me, but I don't know how to include Loki being genderfluid as a major part of the plot/story right now. Like, for example, I've been in the process of dumping all of my religious lgbtq+ trauma on peter parker in a (massive) one-shot that revolves around Peter learning to accept himself as being gay, but the point of the story is that Peter doesn't accept himself at first and the conclusion is when he does. (I don't know if I'm ever going to share or finish that fic by the way, so don't look for it) I don't know how to take the concept of this story, turn it into a fix-it for Avengers 1 with Natasha, and have a meaningful story about being genderfluid at the same time?
Like to me there's two different ways to go about lgbtq+ stories: a story about being gay that is intended to talk about lgbtq+ experiences and focus heavily on that, vs a story where the character is lgbtq+ and it's just part of their character and not something we spend a lot of time talking about because we don't need to. The story isn't about them being lgbtq+ specifically, it's about the character. Recently, a lot more media has started doing the latter, which is really, really nice because I don't feel like being lgbtq+ has to be justified every 20 lines.
The story I'm writing about Peter Parker is the former. It's about being gay. The entire story revolves around it. What I can tell from what you're saying is that you want something where Loki just IS genderfluid, but it's not something we spend a whole lot of time discussing because the story isn't ABOUT being genderfluid, it's about fixing mcu with genderfluid Loki as the main character, if I'm understanding this correctly? Which is fine and I absolutely support it because there is nothing wrong with writing genderfluid Loki and I wholeheartedly support those authors.
So i guess to shorten this - because this isn't just like a ~5-15k one-shot (which are about the only length of requests I can successfully complete right now), as respectfully as I can, I'm going to have to lovingly turn you down. I'm not saying no, I'll never write about genderfluid Loki, because I'm like 90% sure I will eventually, but I just don't know about a fix-it for MCU from the first Avengers. One suggestion I have is maybe, if you really really need to see this come to fruition, is to just write a bunch of one-shots that are interconnected based on each of your headcanons and then publish it as an interconnected series, not so much a full length novel like I would write. I can easily see this being a really enjoyable series. Best of luck
~galaxy <3
#loki#fic request#lgbtq#galaxy's writing#i'm so sorry really#i can tell that you have SO MUCH passion for this 'verse and I wish that I had the energy to bring this to life for you#but I'm just so busy and so mentally ill and I just wish I could pick this out of my brain and gift it to you instead#but i just...#ghusdghsd#i'm sorry#:/#i'm so burned out with writing right now#i think rewriting my og novel 4 times and the second book twice on top of all the fic projects I've been doing#kind of left me a very burnt out husk
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hm. this is going to be vague on purpose bc i'm not interested in arguments, but i am once again getting REAL uncomfortable with how some people talk about edward's actions at the end of new moon
#sorry i'm just Seeing Posts TM#listen i UNDERSTAND that suicide is always a painful topic#and smeyer really did set everyone up for failure here#by wanting a romeo-and-juliet aesthetic with 0 of the same themes#and god knows every depiction of mental illness in new moon fucking sucks#but i just...#okay.#i think that there's a lot of nuance in the situation that is getting flattened down#by people being like 'he's suicidal!!!!!'#and using that as some checkmate defense against criticizing him#(or making fun of him in that moment)#and like...ugh.#i've made a post abt this before i know#and articulated it way better there#but i'm just so sick of that being what people focus on in that situation#like. he's suicidal. he's self-destructive. absolutely!!#he's also very nearly homicidal. EXTREMELY self-obsessed. and 'suffering' the result of his own manipulative actions!!#he is doing some FUCKED UP SHIT#and he has been for the whole story!!!!#and listen (time to overshare on tumblr dot com)#i am not in any sense unaware of how much being violently suicidally depressed sucks#i have been there! i have as a matter of fact broken up with a girlfriend out of self-loathing#and then attempted suicide a few months later!!#i have also experienced someone 'attempting' suicide as a manipulation tactic#SPECIFICALLY bc *i* wouldn't date him#did he have other issues going on? clearly yes!#but that doesn't change the fact that he did something incredibly wildly fucked up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#and obviously i'm not saying that's what's happening with edward#but i am saying i think we DESPERATELY need to leave more room for nuance in that situation#especially given that he's a fictional character
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Well...
Fuck
#🌊 ↝ ooc#I don't know what to feel and think#I had such high hopes for S3#and now... well I guess there is a small chance someone else#– someone with a head on their shoulders –#will pick them up like Lucifer was picked up#but I just...#😳😐😢😡
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So I was thinking of the scene where, if someone's making you choose between them and Astarion, you can go to him and say, "I want you," and he's like, "What? Why?"
And I've read some really sweet takes about how he's just blown away by how someone could choose him over someone else and all that.
But my brain is an asshole.
And my first thought was Astarion thinking, "Well, at least I don't have to pretend anymore."
And then Tav choosing him and he's just like, "Oh ffs. I mean, yay us."
#bg3#bg3 spoilers#kinda#the writers probably meant it that meaningful way that people break it down as him just not realizing someone would want -him- over another#but i just...#the incredulity is so strong in that 'what? why?' that i just...#>.>#i imagine it would depend on when in the relationship the convo happens too#cuz early on i can see him being like#'oh noooooo i'm being dumped'#and not really caring#but later it actually meaning something
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the music slowly getting more intense at the end of Pale White Horse, the part in There Beneath that chants the wind, the leaves the callback to Passerine in Cold, how Dry Branches ends with the same melody that Grow begins with so they blend into each other, the entire MEANING behind the four winds albums an- gunshots
#I love the oh hellos#I keep saying it#I know its probably annoying at this point#but I just...#love them so much...#the oh hellos
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i can't explain it but i've just started having this bad feeling ever since i got hired on for this job. i don't know what it is but i have so much anxiety about this job and i don't usually feel this way when i start somewhere new.
i'm trying to keep an open mind and not let anxiety get to me but... it's a weird feeling and i don't like it
#i'm trying to reserve my judgement#i mean i haven't even started yet#but i just...#something is not right#weirdly enough reminding myself that if it isn't working it isn't the end of the world#and i can leave if i just don't like it#is helping a bit#i'm adult and have the right to just say no and stop doing something that makes me unhappy#but still
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i have so many ideas where, if i just fucking pushed a little, then i’d make headway into completing the project. or having something to show for it. but thinking about it this way and pressuring myself doesn’t help much re: speed
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hi i'm here and it's the weekend and i. love the floyds so bad they're so fucking important all the time actually
#rare instance of a muse of mine having a genuinely Good and Supportive father aha ngl like i just#Bob Loves His Dad So Much#he's only ever wanted to make him proud#and he KNOWS#HE KNOWS!!!!#that robert is proud of him#despite the fact they disagree on his career path lmao#but i just...#bob loves his dad so much he. asked if he could be robert jr#there's just something so special in that okay it makes me wanna Cry#anyway i'm Here to write and talk about the little plane boys
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...tbh I think I might just have the philosophy I described my androids having
oops
#aaaah normally when I make fictional cultures I AVOID them being ideal to me#but I just...#objectivity my beloved#do I think randomness exist?#uuuuh#I honestly don't know#philosophy hour#purple talks about androids and the creator
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Idk y'all... I don't know if I don't want to scrap the whole dark!Claire fic and just start over... Idk how much I like it.
#me having the aha moment about why it doesn't want to write#i don't like it that's why#probably because I brought Eve into it...#i could separate the twi#*two#write two fics instead of one#but I just...#i don't wanna restart#... I might just... come back to this one in a few months
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I just finished reading y&b and I feel speechless. I don't think anything I'll read in the future will ever compare to it. It's was tragic and heartbreaking, but also funny and so so incredibly beautiful. It may be a bit idk dramatic to say this, but I almost feel as if it was life changing in some ways. I can't quite explain it. I'm just... Wow...
@dreamsoffilm I don't know how I can ever thank you for recommending it to me.
#I also don't regret staying up until 2am to finish reading it even though I had just kinda managed to get a somewhat good sleep shedule#I feel so good right now#Better than I have in a long time#I feel like the fic fixed something inside of me#That could just be the lack of sleep talking and in the morning I'll be back to my normal sad self#But I just...#Wow...#If anyone can write something that compares to this or that's even better it's you though Lou#There's a reason I always fall in love with the things you write
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Zoozve, my beloved
#i cannot tell you how much this made me smile just bc it's so full of love#moon#venus#zoozve#long post#sorry about that it's very long but it's very entertaining i hope you enjoy this lil zoozve gem haha#astronomy#astrophysics#space
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For those of you who weren’t able to get 100% of the total solar eclipse today… I gotchu <3
#THE MOON WAS OVER THE SUN THE MOON WAS OVER THE SU#we were in the 100% area like I just casually live here lmao#april 8th eclipse#total solar eclipse#solar eclipse#2024 eclipse#April#photos#eclipse photos#eclipse#2024 solar eclipse
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Christmas as a cultural icon is starting to get really dystopian in a climate sense, december has historically been a time of year in which there would be snow in a significant portion of europe and north america, and the fact that its not even icy this time of year and all the christmas songs and decorations reference a time of year that will likely never exist in the same way again in my life time is so strange.
#for reference i live in scotland so it is weird that there is no ice or snow in december anymore#shitpost#not really but its just how i find my original content#christmas#climate change
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I turn to Ares.
Thanks to Tyler Miles Lockett who allowed me to draw inspiration from his ARES piece for page 2! Look at his etsy page it's SICK
⚔️ If you want to read some queer retelling of arturian legends have a look at my webtoon
#greek mythology#ares#athena#greek gods#dont get me wrong it aint athena slander but it sure is ares praise#on some level at least#man justly accused of bad things deserves some mid praise more at 11#thank you romi for helping me with words though i duly noted you insisted on ares not being cautious rather than him not being careful#romi be like “i want him to care” and honestly good you should say it#also EPIC led to this and i just..... i want to draw some animatics man i just need infinite time now#my long lost love for greek myths just will never stop coming and they dont stop coming and they dont stop coming#i want some vulture design in here for ares but not sure about this one#kochei doodles
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