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andr0nap · 3 days

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You mentioned the deal w seeds in the plane au — what IS the deal w seeds in this au, if you don’t mind me asking?? 👀

bwah okay its not that much different from canon. they were still a deep space colonization fleet but in this au their mission was technically a success

seeds established an research outpost on no mans land to study the planet and test it for potential permanent habitation in the future. basically the fall doesnt happen. or at least not when and how it does in canon

vash and nai were born when seeds began constructing proper long term facilities on the surface

2 years later the research facilities have turned into small cities, terraforming projects kicked into gear and a decent human population was slowly being woken up from cold sleep. the colonization mission for this fleet was deemed a success

the twins were part of a project testing independent plant capabilities and the utility potential of reality bending (the ability to both power and control machines and expanding the storage capacity of small fast aircraft for transportation efficiency), later named project gemini in their honor. during that time the jets g-01 and g-02 and their prototype engines were constructed

at some point nai found detailed info on the project and noticed the discrepancy in their unit numbers, their engines being numbered 02 and 03 in the blueprints. more digging led to the discovery of tesla and her fate as an integrated part of the fleets onboard ai, knives went mad and began plotting the downfall of humanity. over a few weeks he secretly gained control over the local aircraft fleet and one of the production lines and launched an assault on the main ships in orbit

the one man war against seeds (and poor vash, who was caught in the crossfire, not wanting to fight either of them and trying to stop them from fighting each other) lasts a few decades and only ceases when nai shoots his brother out of the sky by accident

by then little was left of the original seeds project, losing the battle in the end. the sky and desert are a graveyard of ships and aircraft a century later. most of humanity doesnt remember the project or know what happened. a majority of the population abandoned seeds and fled the facilities to establish their own settlements during the war

and thats the deal with seeds! i think? did it explain anything? i got so caught up in writing this that i wrote down some of the early plot dhgfjhdfg

#ask #untitled plane au #nai was scared they would end up like tesla #maybe not dead but losing their independence and being reduced to a computer in charge of a colony ship #which wasnt wrong of him to assume #its what seeds were testing with the twins #just on a smaller scale #they were trying to find a way to reduce the need for human input for future long interstellar travel to the absolute bare minimum #so the staff could remain in cold sleep for longer periods of time too #they hoped that replacing the unfeeling ai with a “human” but unaging element would make for a better overseer #humans have different priorities than machines #its why WE still rely on human input instead of letting machines do everything #god i am RAMBLING #sorry again if im not making sense

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sprout-fics · 5 months

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Google search: How to make fanfiction fun again

#I’m probably just hormonal or something stupid #but I’ve been getting really depressed about this blog recently and I’ve been thinking more and more about deleting and starting over #or leaving it as an archive and abandoning it #I get so stressed about posting and nervous about interactions and it’s ruining the experience for me #and I know it’s my fault because I’m just fucked up and in need of so much more therapy than I currently have #but at this point I’m forcing myself to have fun in here #it’s not coming naturally #and I have a really really hard time letting go of things that once brought me joy #so I’m kind of hanging on hoping things will get better but they aren’t #I’m not making any decisions yet #but I am going to start backing up my stuff and crossposting to ao3 so it’s all there too #and I’m sure someone is going to come and tell me this is the wrong reaction #so I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything

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glouris · 1 year

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I don't understand how gow youtubers that post these “whAt iS gOiNg to HaPpEn iN tHe NexT gAmE???” vids just completely ignore Atreus. They are even more in denial about Kratos stepping down from the mc role than me about Heimdall kicking the bucket, it’s crazy. That one guy deadass went “Well maybe Atreus will die and that will lead to Kratos going to another pantheon” MISS MA’AM ATREUS HAS BEEN SET UP TO GO ON THE JOURNEY TO A DIFFERENT LAND WHILE KRATOS IS HELPING SETTLE THE MATTERS IN THE 9 REALMS??

#bros still expect gow 3 type shit in 2026 smh #its not just me right Atreus is supposed to take over the mc role thats why he left - we're gonna be following his adventures next #why are they ignoring him???????#it makes me feel like a wife in a horror movie who's being told that everything is fine #god of war #god of war ragnarok #gow #atreus #angrboda #heimdall #honestly if atreus fucking dies (WHICH HE WON'T) i hope angrboda takes over the mc role just to spite these ppl #she deserves it and she would be 100% very fun to play as #and while im at it #angrboda is the best companion in ragnarok simply bc her moveset is the prettiest #whoever says othervise and mentions status effects stuns and other shit is wrong #aesthetics will always be most important #stop talking back you know im right #yes i am using pretty screenshots for rants again

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boiled-bronze · 1 month

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Day 29, one of my favorites from the month- what do you mean they are getting a dlc and they're called "The Watcher." What do you mean I was supposed to draw something about that. I was doing these early help.

#rain world #rain world fanart #rw nightcat #rw watcher #RW Art Month #honestly I feel more...#curious I guess?#rather than exited for the dlc #don't get me wrong I AM exited and I am looking forward to what they'll bring to the table this time #but more than feeling hyped I'm feeling curiosity about what direction they'll take #I really really hope they go for a more vanilla approach to.. well.. everything #but if they don't I'm sure it will be at the very very least Fine and Good #I kinda very slightly hope this is the final dlc tho

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alchemania · 6 months

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Drowning.

(Emotions are overwhelming, sometimes too hard to traverse alone. Thankfully, she doesn't have to.)

“I'm accusing you of not being the Hydro Archon at all.”

Those words freeze her where she stands, and whispers fly throughout the courtroom, like vultures searching for a carcass. Wait, no. Nonononono. This could not be happening. No one was supposed to discover her, she had to fulfill the prophecy or everybody would die and all of this would be for nothing and– the glares from all around and the distrust freeze her in her tracks, and Furina can't breathe, breath catching in her throat so hard she chokes. “Wait! Wait!” she cried, shaking her head frantically. “Don't listen to what he's saying! I- I am the Hydro Archon I swear! I'm real! I'M REAL!!”

She had to be. She could be nothing else, or all was lost, all was for naught. She could not allow that to happen she WOULD NOT allow it to happen. There had to be a way, there must be some way…the water! Yes! She's moving her hands rapidly as she talks now, attempting to get away from the spider's web that entangled her further and further. Put your hand in the water, Furina, they said, and she did, she did, deadly determined to keep up the facade, to live out the role. But that was ultimately what undid her- the water, diluted as it was, would not kill her, but she exhibited the same symptoms as the diver boy- Freminet, was his name (he would be dead soon as well oh god. Oh god. And she knew he had only wanted to help, they all did, but they did not know that in doing so, they'd doomed themselves..)

“On the charges of impersonating the Hydro Archon, Furina-”

“No! No!” she screamed, tears flowing like a river. “Stop! STOP!!! You don't understand, none of you understand please Neuvillette LISTEN TO ME -” There was so much pain in his eyes, she noticed, so much turmoil. But he uttered the damning words, regardless.

“..is guilty.”

Guilty.

That verdict stopped her heart, and Furina stumbled back and crumpled into her chair, looking like one dead. At the eleventh hour, she'd stumbled. Five hundred years of lies and guilt all for them, all to save them, down the drain. It was for nothing. SHE was for nothing. What was the point of it all..?

“All this time, she lied to us?! But why?”

To save you, I had no other choice. But it doesn't matter now, anyway. The flood is going to come.

All of a sudden, a terrible shaking rocked the entire courthouse, and an otherworldly being, resembling some sort of whale, seemed to swim through the building, sucking in horrified onlookers. People screamed and pushed each other in a mad dash to the exit, and somehow, Furina felt her legs carrying her as well, running outside along with the crowd. Her worst fears were already coming into being - the unforgiving waves were rising higher and higher, and folks were scrambling - to rooftops, to the trees, wherever they could go to get away. Furina watched numbly, being unforgivingly bumped into and shoved aside as her people fled for any hope of safety.

It was gut wrenching, also seeing humanity shine through in these moments - someone helping an older lady through the streets so she didn't fall, a little boy picking up a frightened cat so it wouldn't be run over and tearing through the streets like the angels themselves guided his footsteps. But it would not be enough. Even so, she ran, splashing up puddles as her heels made contact with the ground again and again and again and again. “Get to higher ground!” Furina screamed, helping a young lady onto a rooftop. “Don't stop moving!”

The hands of disaster would not be held back, though, and as the people climbed higher and higher, some of them began to slip and fall- wives screamed and cried for their husbands, parents for their children, children for their parents, friends for their companions, and she could do nothing but watch it all happen, hopes and dreams dissolving just like her entire nation. “No, no no!!! Please! Stop!”

“Help us!!” People screamed, and she could not. There was nothing she could do. She was helpless, her hands were tied, and all she could do was watch. Lyney and Lynette held Freminet near to them as the waters rose, heads bowed in solemn acceptance of what was to come, and the boy sobbed, dreading the inevitable.

“It's alright,” Lyney comforted. “It's alright. You're gonna see your mother soon, you'll be together again, and we'll see our parents too- and - and we'll never be apart anymore. It'll all be okay.”

“I don't want to die!” Freminet wailed, and Lynette shook like a leaf, fear taking hold.

“.. I don't either. But, we'll embrace it hand in hand, okay??”

“Mhm.”

“I love you guys.”

“I love you too.”

The waters consumed them soon, and Furina couldn't breathe. They were gone. They were gone.

The next thing she knows, she's atop the highest building in Fontaine, and the waters lap at her feet, a silent but deadly testimony to all that had happened. She was all alone now…. everyone was dead and it- it was all her fault. Hollowly, Furina looked to the water, sobbing and crumpling to her knees. The water had changed - it was just normal seawater now, and she found herself frantically pawing in it, inconsolable. “Give them back! Give them back to me!!! I'll do anything I swear - I'll take their place, I - please!!! They didn't do anything wrong it's not their fault it's mine! IT'S MINE!!!!!"

Her reflection changed, and Focalors stared back. Furina yelped, scuttling back like a surprised crab, and sniffled. “Furina. Come here,” she called, and there was no anger in her voice, only sorrow. When the girl approached, the goddess looked ready to weep. “What have you done?” she breathed, horror marring her face.

“I- I didn't mean to, they- they found me out,” she stammered, “I-”

“You were so close,” Focalors mourned. “But it was all for nothing.”

“I'm sorry. I'm so sorry,” Furina wailed, and the goddess sighed. “Please, I'll do anything - I don't care what happens to me -"

“There is nothing more you can do. You failed the task that you were given, and all is lost. I see now it was a mistake to trust in you.”

Furina's pupils shrank about three sizes, and she choked on air, shaking like a leaf. “I'm - a mistake?”

“Yes, Furina. You are a mistake. But it's alright, because I created you, and so the blame falls to me.”

“I- you - I had to suffer all this time, for nothing,” she wept, anger weaving its way into her veins, “You have no idea what I've been through! You don't - you could never know! It's your fault I had to go through all this! How- how dare you call me a mistake!!” Breaths ragged, Furina splashed the water furiously, again and again and again. “I'm NOT a mistake I'm NOT! TAKE IT BACK! TAKE IT BACK!! You said I was special!! You created me because you wanted me to live the way you couldn't!!! You created me because you BELIEVED in me!! WAS THAT A LIE, FOCALORS?! WAS ANYTHING REAL!?”

The reflection changed back to herself, and Furina was left alone with no answers. A beat passed, and the girl yanked off her hat and threw it into the water as hard as she could, screeching. Off came her coat, and her gloves, and she hurled them into the waves as well, screaming and crying at the top of her lungs. And Furina cried. She cried for all her people, and for all the pain she'd been shouldering, she cried for the pointlessness of it all, she cried because she was angry, she cried because she was tired, she cried because she was sad. And when she could cry no more, she hollowly stared at the waves, the waves that had doomed so many unfairly to a watery end. If she had just held on a little longer, if she had just kept up the act for a while more…..all would have been well. If she had been stronger, then..maybe..maybe-

“I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.”

Someone was calling her, and she curled into herself, wrapping her arms around her person.

“Furina,” the voice called again, and she looked up with red rimmed eyes to the heavens, chest heaving.

“No, not up there. Listen. Wake up. You have to wake up.”

“..what are you talking about..? The prophecy-- it's already come to pass it doesn't matter anymore -"

“Furina.”

She looked to the water again, and Tetsuya's face replaced her reflection, to her shock. “Wake up,” he commanded. “Wake up!” The image then sprang from the water, stopping her heart from fear as it grabbed her by the shoulders.

“Wake up!!”

Furina screamed raggedly, nearly tumbling out of bed, and Wanderer was right there, grabbing her face in both his hands. “Hey, hey!! It's alright! It's alright!”

“They're all gone,” the girl wailed, inconsolable, and he stared in bewilderment, face twisting almost comically in confusion.

“..huh?”

“Everyone- I failed, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry please please you have to help me please - there has to be something we can do-” she can barely breathe around her sobs, and Wanderer shakes his head, slowly.

“No. No you didn't, Furina, listen. It was a dream. You were having a nightmare of what could have been.”

“Everyone is-”

“Alive, yes.”

“I'm not- a mistake?”

“....uh, excuse me?” Tetsuya asked after a beat of disbelief, expression darkening like a storm cloud had taken residence. “No…Who the hell told you that?”

“She- she said -”

“She's wrong, whoever she is,” he interrupted, and Furina sobbed, tears streaming down her cheeks. “Furina. I need you to breathe.” He took her hand then and squeezed, frowning. “Come on. In through your nose, out through your mouth.” The girl coughed harshly, sucking in irregular breaths, and after a moment of hesitation, Wanderer took Furina's hand and placed it on top of his stomach, breathing calmly. “Can you follow that?”

“M- mhm,” she managed, taking in a shaky but steadier breath, and the rise and fall of Tetsuya's abdomen guided her through the motions, slowly steadying.

“Good, good,” he nodded, as her breathing evened out. “..do you need anything?”

“Can- can you h- hold me?? Please?”

“Ah- alright,” he relented, and Furina leaned on his shoulder, sniffling roughly. “..do you want to talk about it.”

“..no…”

“Okay. Then we'll just sit here.”

And they did just that, silence only broken by the girl's quiet sobs.

“..what if everything went wrong??”

“The important thing is that it didn't. What you need to focus on right now is what you're going to do now that everything is over. It wasn't all for nothing.” He glared at her, then, but she could tell his anger was not with her. “And even if everything had gone to hell, you would not have been for nothing. Don't you let anyone tell you otherwise, not even yourself.”

“..okay..okay. .. Tetsuya?”

“Mm.”

“... I don't think I'm okay.”

He gave a bitter, hearty laugh at that. “I don't think anyone expects you to be, Furina.”

“M’sorry if-”

“If what? You were a bother? You woke me up? If I didn't care, I wouldn't be here,” Tetsuya asserted, holding her closer. “Don't you remember what you said? Emotions are a burden, never the person who carries them. And when you care about people, you carry them too.”

“You remember what I said…?”

“I remember many things. More than I would like to. Important thing is, you're not okay right now, and quite frankly I'm terrible at comfort and all that. But I can promise I can kill whatever gives you hell. I'll be here when you need me, and if you wanna cry, well. To hell with it. After everything you've been through, I think you kinda earned it.”

“Okay. Thank you…”

"Mm.”

“... I wish I could hear her.”

“What?”

“Focalors. She's not here anymore, but I wish- she could've told me she was proud of me. That I did good. That - I was strong, and. . I did my best.”

“Well, I'm not her. But I think you did a hell of a job,” Wanderer muttered. “Sometimes you have to be your own closure and accept that the people you need most will not be by your side. I would know. And- if nobody else, you tell yourself.”

“I.. I did good,” Furina whispered, tears falling fast, and Tetsuya nodded, rubbing her shoulder to soothe. “It hurt a lot.”

“It did, but the worst of it is over. And you are going to get better.”

“I'm gonna get better. I'm gonna heal.”

“And you're not gonna put yourself down when you have setbacks.”

“. .I'll try.”

“Sometimes that's all you can do.”

“Mhm.” She looked up then, eyes misty. “Hey.”

“What.”

“I love you,” Furina smiled wetly, and Tetsuya blinked twice, eyes also a little glossy.

"..uh huh," he mumbled. "Love you too.”

“..What?????”

“I'm not going to say it again,” he huffed, looking fit to blush, and she squeezed him hard, laughing delightedly.

“You love me, you love me!!!”

"Yeah, yeah, you wormed your way into my heart and I can't find it in me to kick you out. Is that you want me to say??"

"Yes," she grinned, and Tetsuya sucked his teeth.

"I'm in your corner. That's the best you're gonna get right now."

She leaned her head back on his shoulder, and Wanderer sighed, looking affectionately weary. "Geez...... I'm getting soft."

"Is that bad?"

"..well. Not as much as I thought it would be."

Sometimes, life was still hell. But at least she had someone to walk through the fire with her now.

#furina #wanderer #genshin impact #oh baby oh BABY #i think so much about what furina has been through and no way she does NOT have nightmares #just. constantly overthinks about what could have been better and everything that went wrong and tears herself up #it is A LOT #thankfully wanderer is here to help wahoo #as you already know i really like these two i hope they meet i hope they hug i hope they get to heal #it's so funny furina has already been through so much and im here like MORE ANGST MORE ANGST #originally i was gonna have her nightmare be even darker but i was like nawwww.....lemme not do that...#but anyway!! i hope you enjoy this i am actually proud of this ome #4.2 spoilers #I ALMOST FORGOT TO TAG AGAIN LORD HELP ME. SORRY ABOUT THAT

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moregraceful · 4 months

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accidentally invented a new form of no bedtime called 11pm glass of emergency-c + 4pm latte + 8pm cup of black tea + 9pm cup of black tea

#the real question is can i go to church on less than 5 hours of sleep and still function lol #i unlocked my instagram bc church wouldn't stop tagging me to direct people to me for stuff but that meant i had to delete a bunch of pho #tos AND rewrite a bunch of captions for photos i didn't WANT to delete bc i was too mean to random sharks prospects #which is fine if it is u know the anonymity of tumblr but not public instagram where my church won't stop FULL NAMING AND TAGGING ME #''anonymity of tumblr'' i doxx myself on here like 80 times a day in front of more people than i went to college with #anyway my point is i was going through deleting all evidence of politics pens fandom and legal documents and i was like damn #my attitude towards my team SUCKS. i gotta be way less of a hater!!!#what did my prospects ever do wrong besides everything NOTHING. the system is BROKEN. i am sorry i will be so much nicer guys :(#also if u really want to be humbled. scrolling back to 2012 on your instagram and re-experiencing senior year of college. BAD #i've deleted i think everything that would reasonably get our nonprofit status pulled but what a horrific journey it was #two full hockey intermission periods of deleting shit plus another hour at home doing several more passes and then rewriting captions #so that some poor 21 year old prospect randomly searching their name doesn't see me full ass call their teammate cringe #their teammate IS cringe. but i love him. but the nuances are lost on instagram people don't understand these things they take everything #at face value #don't know why i just assigned shakir mukhamadullin they/them pronouns #i think i need to go lie in bed with a blanket over my head until i suffocate #this ALWAYS happens i get too hype about mackenzie blackwood and start listening to selena gomez and then it's like almost 3am and i'm just #fresno oilers.txt #oh and. a friend sent me screenshots of the girl she's been flirting with on a dating app and they are SOOOOO cute #i hope they make a good run of it i really do bc it was SO cute. living vicariously through episcopalian lesbians as one does #but then i was trying to figure out how to edit my dating app profile to dissuade chasers but still honeytrap guys who are tall enough #or athletic enough to pick the tangerines at the top of the tangerine tree. bc i couldn't reach this week #but there were still like god maybe 150 tangerines on the tree. i was like this could be feeding people but i'm TOO SHORT #and my life will be like this. FOREVER #icb the future of this garden is so psychologically burdensome that i'm having to build it into a dating app profile lol #well now that i'd treated this entire tag set as twitter for and hour and a half #time to go try to lie in bed and stare at the ceiling and then wake up in [checks notes] four hours

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icebarefoxy · 1 year

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That Nintendo Direct was wild

#art #professor layton #digital art #fanart #professor layton fanart #hershel layton #luke triton #luke triton fanat #professor layton and the new world of steam #i did not expect to get old british man jumpscared #i was hoping for tomodachi life #but then that direct gave me everything in the world #so honestly i am living my best lofe #i spelt life wrong and im notmgoing to fixmit

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running-in-the-dark · 25 days

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we finished painting the walls in my room today - well, two of them, the ones that we started yesterday. tomorrow we're going to ikea, and then hopefully we'll finish the one wall in my husband's room, and start the two in my room (they're gonna be a different colour than the first two)

#today I am not covered in paint from head to toe! success!#everything still hurts but it's tolerable at the moment #I hope well get my room done by Friday (since we'll be moving our stuff this weekend & my friend will help me build shelves and stuff. which #the walls need to be finished for 😬)#also: we're going to ikea to have them look at the kitchen that we've planned 😬 I'm so nervous lol #it's gonna be so embarrassing if I did everything wrong somehow #and it said the appointment is 45 minutes so that's scary haha.#but it's gonna be too much money (and time and effort to assemble it all) to mess it up so. my social anxiety will just have to be very #brave lol. 😬#personal

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syncrovoid-presents · 10 months

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New art new art!

#welcome home #wally darling #syncrovoid.art #syncrovoid.txt #technically it is still a WIP because uhhh there is still much i would try to fix but i do not wish to work on it for any longer @:P #hfaceless hands of those beyond laying claim on your visage and fame #where is the horror in that? surely being a being that is aware of the audience without knowing who wat or why they watch would be so normal #nothing is wrong nothing is wrong. everything is so normal for a silly little guy like him #also it took SO long yo figure out how to draw his face until i settled on this.. i really need to practice expressions #but hey i was practicing different digital painting styles and i think i found one i like (as seen with the hands haha)#i am still learning!!#that is why it may look a little rough but i think im improving!!#anywho i have been busy so new fic update might take a while but yeah!#i hope you (collective you) are having a lovely day/night! dont forget to drink some water and have a snack #@:)

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mitamicah · 8 months

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I guess I’ve felt a bit off from the rest of the kääryleet the last few days and I am not liking it very much.

I want to be in agreement with you guys and get excited like you do ... it has just been a bit harder this weekend which sucks since there’s a new song and cool new MV theories and I am here like: slow down would you for the old man? (me)

this doesn’t make any sense possibly but I guess I’ll just say sorry for not being up to speed and for being a bit moody/unamused.

#also I know we're all excited to see the esc käärijä die (it seems) but as a person not great with change #that found käärijä through eurovision #I have to tell myself you are not asking me to rip out that part of my heart and bury it and forget it happened everytime you say this #it is way too late for me to make posts don't mind me #I hope I've not said too much #if so I'm sorry #I feel very down rn so it is a good thing I have to go to bed soon #also don't get me wrong I want jere to do what feels right for him #so if that's burying the bolero and the esc experience so be it #but please don't ask me to hate on that part of his history because if I'm being honest I can't #I have a fondness for the bolero and the spiked pants and the crazy sailor dance and everything else #yes I am done #goodnight everybody #sorry for being moody #kääryleet #micahs thoughts

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nandermoenthusiast · 23 days

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oh my god i got so emotional SHUT UUUUUP

#911 #911verse #evan buckley #so this is what crying about a character is actually like #like i do be crying at times dont get me wrong #but i just love buck so much. i kept stopping the episode and going. omg omg omg #omg its happening. omg idk if i can actually watch this. omg its happening !!!!!!!!!!!#jesus christ JESUS CHRIST #like i know we throw the word around a lot but this is MY SON #and everything that happened in the episode. it was like it was happening to me #i felt actual physical damage and actual butterflies as the kiss moment approached #like theY DID THAT #THEY MADE MY BI SON CANONICALLY BI #idk to have this shift in a characters perception this late in a procedural….. 911 you gods #i really hope they can somehow make more seasons cause they would deserve ti #it. and like. this doesn’t have to be the end of buddie??#they could get them together at any time bc buck realizing hes into men is a lot other worm can than buck realizing hes in love with #his best friend. i just dont know how they would do it with eddie bc they would have to pull a lot of focus over there too with a big #chance of feeling repetitive with their narratives #maybe they just show them together after a timejump and say they worked some stuff out idk lmao #ANYWAY I AM STILL CRYING BECAUSE BUCK MY SON IS A CANONICAL BISEXUAL JEALOUS DISASTER JUST LIKE HIS MAMA ❤️#THIS IS WHAT REPRESENTATION IS ACTUALLY ALL ABOUT (and i mean his horrifying handling of the feelings of being left out of course lmao)#THE LOOK EDDIE SHOT HIM TOO #i am too frazzled rn i just need to scream i think #hi. im sorry this is me coming out of the 911 closet now that wwdits is on hiatus #evan buckley!!!!!#SON OF MY SONS #LIGHT OF MY LIFE #APPLE OF MY EYE

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piplupod · 2 months

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honestly i wish i didnt know as much as i do about occultism and spirituality because it is so fucking frustrating to see ppl talk about it and they very obviously do not have the knowledge that i have. like i am so open to being wrong, but i see things that ppl are saying and i'm fairly certain that they just ... do not have the depth of knowledge i do, so they say very ignorant things, or draw lines between things in an incredibly (potentially dangerously) overgeneralized way. and i am just sitting here like "oh you have no clue what you are saying right now, do you? you do not realize what you are saying is unfortunately pretty damn wrong." and i have to back away from the screen bc i do not discuss these things anymore due to the brain being constantly ready to dropkick me straight into a mental health crisis

but christ alive i think anyone who engages with spirituality needs to read up on like. essentially Everything they can get their hands on, even if they do not necessarily agree with the ideas being presented, because that way !! you learn !! and you grow to realize what things are borne out of racism and grossly mystifying other cultures and straight up white supremacy and nazi ideology and encouraging psychotic symptoms that lead to mental health crises !!!

#i hate new age spirituality so much. soooo much. 90% of it is just racism repackaged with a pretty bow on top #and nobody realizes bc they do not know what the fuck they are engaging with :))) what the roots of it all actually is !!!#and i do not necessarily blame them but i am so .... its tiring. and disconcerting. and scary. to see all of it being paraded around #esp when ppl accuse you of being ignorant or cruel for criticising smth that is so fucking dangerous or racist hsdgjkl ARGH ARGH ARGH #just bc they themselves do not realize !! it is dangerous and/or racist!! and they assume you must be wrong to criticise them!!!#sorry im just hgdsgjkl. this drives me crazy. i also hope i dont sound egotistical or high-n-mighty #but i do genuinely know i have more knowledge than the average bear (not difficult to though tbh! u just have to read a lot!!)#because i was so fucking fixated on it and went delving into so many books and pdfs and websites and did my own stuff on my own time #for several years #i was DEEP in this stuff (and boy howdy my mental health suffered for it lmfao me when i lose touch w reality almost entirely !!)#AND OBVIOUSLY. not everyone is going to have the same exps i did when they do spirituality stuff #but . it is very common esp these days. there is a whole label for it lol #ALRIGHT IM DONE RANTING NOW. im going to log off from everything for a good long while today to try to reset my nervous system lmfao #sorry for the public yelling and wailing fsdfjkl #pippen needs 2nd breakfast

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topaztimes · 11 days

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Hi this is a vent post! Continue scrolling if you'd rather not see that

#Giving time...#Still more time...#Wouldn't want to plague any previews #Maybe another filler. Just for some fun #Is this enough?#It certainly is now #Alright start:#I'm so bored. I am so incredibly; intrinsically; entirely bored. I have been taught the same thing for four years straight #'It's only four years!' that's literally a quarter of my lifetime right there. My formative years are being spent stressed and in a state /#/of constant self-loathing #I was watching a YT video and the phrase 'attention-starved STEM major' came up and I was like. Yea #What am I even working towards? The hope that my version of capitalist hell isn't as bad as everyone else's? I'm just so sick of not /#/having a stable future what with politics and normal working people becoming more and more oppressed #I don't want to work and that's not because I'm lazy. It's because my brain is recognising that there is no reward anymore #I used to have such a little spark in Yr7. I remember having things to say and wanting to share everything I've done #I still do that now; sure I do. I don't enjoy it though #I thought I liked drawing but I'm realising that all I really like is the attention. I COULD draw things I like drawing... but then I /#/ don't get attention which my mind then classifies as zero reward #I'm very tired of doing things for no credit; reward; or validation. This is becoming a theme #Then I wonder what I'm doing wrong. What part of the algorithm am I not hitting. Then I realise that I'm just not marketable in a way #God. I'm seriously breaking rn. It's not even only because of GCSEs #It's just a culmination of doing all these things to be told that I am unworthy of Having as a result. It doesn't matter if I'm smart; my /#/ parents still don't own their house and can't afford to pay for heating most days #Literally what am I doing this for #And then I realise that all of this is ALSO attention-seeking behaviour! I'm my own worst problem; I recognise exactly what's wrong with /#/ myself but the body wants what it wants. And what it wants is validation that I'm not going to get in this life #Hi guys! Maybe don't interact. That could fix me #Wean me off of needing virtual numbers just to feel something. Jesus #I can't even be happy with the things that I make for myself. Because I make nothing for myself anymore #It's just a whole sad existence of an expected 12hr+ of school every day until I get a job I guess. Then it's 12hr+ of job every day until

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katyspersonal · 3 months

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One of the coolest things my friend Kris said, "A good headcanon differs from the canon knowingly, not out of wilfull ignorance".

Like, there is a big difference between being corrected (not always for an indisputable reason, but the intention matters) and being creatively policed! When someone shares a headcanon and you know the canon bit that contradicts it, just say it! Either they could reconsider their idea with the new information or say "yeah cool but I prefer to write my own thing, not to be 100% accurate to the canon" which are both valid. Because, the latter one knowingly differs from the canon!

But like, apparently in the eyes of some people, being informed on what was missed equals baiting hostility, policing creativity or whatnot? Like, yet again, if someone gets straight up angry and vindictive at being reminded that they are in the fandom, for something with pre-existing information, then it loops back to the question of why they are in a fandom and not doing their own original project to begin with! I can't find any other reasoning for admitting you do not want to even know canon and only here to take basic surface bits to make your own thing besides the fact that pre-existing fanbase just will engage more willingly even with canon divergent portrayals, stories and just AUs!

But like... you can't be in a fandom while expecting to never have any discussion with other fans about this story and characters! Being told that you are wrong and being told that you are wrong for BEING wrong are two whole different things, and mentality of fans not being allowed to say anything besides agreement, when it is about pre-existing media, is straight up lame and not what fandoms are about. Not everyone who points what is missing a petty redditor that hates headcanons; most of the "well actualies" come from the place of love for both canon and headcanons! This is the case of "before you break the rules you need to know them", but people that tell what rules are are anything but wrong, hostile or immature. People that say "you come into my house and maliciously ruin my fun" when they hear about those rules, however?

Again: a good headcanon differs from the canon knowingly, not out of wilfull ignorance.

#fandomry rambles #yet again: fish chess post #I don't know how else to explain that fandoms are formed around the EXISTING thing!#the best way to change and alter and tweak it is to know everything about it first!#also I see that a particular someone unblocked me. did so for easier lurking for vagueblogs?#I hope you are satisfied now. please get a life I am not saying anything wrong here.#if anything I am not willing to interact with someone who doesn't even understand what is a fandom anyhow #when my friend was informed Byrgenwerth was to blame for fishing hamlet and not church he-#-said 'yeah i didnt know that but I just writing my own story and want to ignore inaccuracy'#not 'i am not here to learn about canon in more detail you aggressor'#sigh...#I need a shirt with what Kris said this is truly the most quote ever #me and Tail were talking about how it is weird why some people are in a fandom to begin with just recently #at least now I am more clear on my opinions the silver lining was to figure it out

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