went to donate blood 👍🏼🩸 fully passed out 👍🏼🩸 hot doctor came to my rescue 👍🏼🩸

rakes | chapter two

pairing: regency!Harrison Osterfield x regency!reader

words: 2.1k 

warnings:  bridgerton s1 spoilers, swearing, mentions of sex

a/n: this took me forever to write because i wrote the ending ish and I have even the whole end part planned out lmao. now I just need to write up to it lmao. 

Please Reblog and Like if you enjoy!

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You awoke startled, sweaty, and with tears streaming down your face. It had been from a nightmare, of your first season’s debut. You knew that things could not go as horribly wrong that night did, yet, you were afraid deep down it might. 

You could never forget the piercing scream that rang through your body as you watched helplessly, your worst unknown nightmare becoming real in front of you, and being able to do nothing for your parents. 

After sitting in your bed for what seemed like hours, you decided to get dressed at the start making a list of what you had to do in haste to get ready for the season’s rush.

There was so much to do and so little time, so you knew one worry could be put at ease if you planned it all out. At least then your mind would hopefully quiet down the thoughts in your head. 

Sitting near the window with it open, you watched the sunrise, wondering how your dear William was doing. You had left hastily, not even with a goodbye to him. It was too painful to be in Grosvenor square where all your fondest memories had been with your deceased parents. He was of course in those fond memories, yet it was too painful as you saw your father in him, and the man he became because of your father being a parental figure to him.

You wondered how he was handling being the earl, especially without the guidance or help of anyone. Especially since your presence is missing. You wrote to him all the time, yet he had no return address to send it to so you knew not much of how your dearest sibling was doing.

You knew not much of duty of being a man and running an estate and the burden weighed on society of being an earl, yet you knew the pressures and gossip and betrayal all too much so you knew it could not have been easy. 

You only wished as much that you could have stayed for William, yet you knew your body would not let you stay as the fear would crawl into your bones, rotting you into some sort of insane spinster. 

You stretched your body out after sitting for too long on the uncomfortable chair, deciding it was time to head on out- “the earlier the better”- you thought.

As soon as you stepped out into the hall you had turned, and collided with a strong torso, almost falling to the ground. Strong arms had caught you before you took a nasty spill. 

“Pardon me-” you whispered quietly, as you then realized the close proximity of you and the man that had caught you, his face very close to your own. 

He looked disheveled slightly, with his golden locks out of place slightly, and a small amount of dusting of freckles that adorned his face. His icy blue eyes had been staring into yours, almost too cold to even look into, yet you felt a sense of curiosity to capture the color of them in your mind. You also had noticed the closeness of your bodies in this very moment, almost too scandalous to even think of in society’s ton. 

“Apologies, Miss.,” he said with a slightly crooked smile that could make any woman melt at this moment. 

He helped you regain your balance on your own two feet, before heading towards the stairs, giving you a lopsided smile again, nodding at you, and went downstairs.

You were almost too stunned to move from the interaction. You had never been as close as that to a man in your life. It gave you a small chill down your spine, even thinking about him, the mystery man. 

You were pulled out of your thoughts when your maid, Lucy, was walking out of the adjacent room to yours. 

“Madam, shall I fetch the carriage?” she asks you politely, suddenly snapping you out of your entranced state. 

“Yes, we should get going.”

Arriving at the Bridgeton home was, interesting to say the least, in a good way. It had been around noon, after your stop at the modiste, picking up dresses for the most -well- dreaded season, and you had been welcomed by most of the Bridgerton ladies in the drawing-room, embraced by Violet, asking for your time heading to their home. It was quite a shock as the chaos yet love could be felt in the room, as whom you were assuming the two youngest were arguing of some hair ribbon, and two of the other elder brothers of Daphne’s were in some heated debate about god knows what, and one sister was writing in a journal of some sort as the other played the pianoforte. 

“Welcome dear, to our home. I apologize in advance for the chaos, we are getting ready for Elosie’s first season, and our masquerade ball.”

“No need to apologize, Lady Bridgerton. Thank you for letting me stay until William gets in tomorrow. I just couldn’t stay in the house alone.”

“Please call me Violet! And any friend of my family is welcome here. Children, This is Lady Y/L/N.”

“If I am to call you Violet I insist you all call me Y/n” she smiles warmly towards you, “Eloise, could you please show Y/n to her room, I’m sure she is but tired from her journey.”

She comes out of her trance of writing responding to her mother, “Of course Mama.”

As you walk out of the drawing-room with her she looks as if she’s in deep thought. 

“I have so many questions to ask of you! How were you able to travel? I only thought men such as my brother could do so, yet here you are!”

“Well when my parents passed, I just- well, couldn’t stay here, so I ventured off with what my bro- erm, cousin, William had given to me. I went to visit some other cousins in France and had gone off to other parts of Europe. It was better than I had ever imagined. But now my duty is to my family, and the adventure has stopped, for now at least.”

You had stopped walking when you reached a door, that you assumed was your room.  

“That is incredible, I shall wait to ask more of you, later on of course.”

“Why don’t you show me the grounds and I shall tell you more, right now, and you can tell me about yourself, Eloise.”

Her face lit up.

“I would quite enjoy that!”

After walking around their grounds, you had sat on the swings on a tree, telling her all about your adventures, and she told you about herself and even told you quite a bit about Lady Whistledown and her venture in trying to find the writer behind the pen. It had been a few hours, probably nearing dinner time, but you felt at ease with Eloise. At least, you knew you had a friend in her, that hated society almost as much as you,

“I cannot believe you went in the ocean on the beach! Most ladies here would assume it unlady-like!”

“Well, I am especially not one for lady-like behavior! Especially structured by vicious mamas!” you both laugh together at that comment. Oh how you both knew of the shocking behavior of the ton’s mamas. 

“I believe we should head in now, Dinner will soon be ready, and I can only assume you are starving since we only had biscuits earlier.”

You both get up stretching your legs lightly, before heading indoors. 

You felt warmth sitting at the dinner table, though not typical, it felt like they truly loved each other, and actually enjoyed each other as a family, something you had longed for from your own family, especially for William’s sake.

William had never felt like he belonged in your family, at least not fully. The warmth you and your parents tried to give to him almost did not get through his thick skull, that you had accepted him as an esteemed member of the family. You had always wondered if it was because his true father never accepted him until he needed him to fulfill his wants. 

“So, Y/n are you excited for the season?” Anthony cuts through his current conversation, to include you. 

“Probably something of the sort. I am quite intrigued to see how people have changed.”

“Well, most have not, especially the men.” 

You laughed slightly at that. 

“Well do tell whom to stay away from.” you joke.

“If you have not read the most recent lady Whistledown I assume you don’t know.”

“I’m not quite sure I’ve ever heard of a Lady Whistledown?” you question, curiosity getting to the best of you. 

“Lady Whistledown is a gossip writer, under a pen name, whom, however, mentions people in the ton in name, by name in full.” Eloise cuts in.

You raise a brow quizzically. That was unheard of. 

“She mentions you in her most recent edition” Hyacinth mentions, before going back to throwing peas strategically when her mother wasn’t looking at her brother Gregory.  

“I’m sure Eloise has it if she hasn’t already shown you.” now you were fully intrigued. There was truly only one main thing you thought the writer could write about.

“She wrote about Lord Holland today, and might I say he is pretty dreamy.” Francesca pipes up, before earnings glare from Anthony and a kick from Eloise.

“Ow!” 

“If I didn’t do it, Anthony would have and he kicks harder.” 

You giggle at the family’s interactions. You only hoped you could have one as close as the Bridgertons.

“I see we are quite the entertainment for our guest tonight. I guess there’s no need for Eloise to get on the pianoforte. God knows I’m in motion for that.” Benedict adds before earning a kick from Eloise as well. 

“Ow!”

“Back to the topic at hand, I’d stay away from Benedict for certain.” Eloise says, which erupts you five into a fit of giggles, before getting your end of the table gets a hard stare-down from Violet, almost as if to say ‘behave’.

“So I'm assuming other than Daphne missing, the letter C, Colin, must be the one travelling? Daph did mention he would be writing me asking about the best places to travel.”

“Yes, Colin is the one travelling, but was the letter system too obvious of whom is which?” Benedict asks in an amused manner. 

“I think it’s adorable, and if you must know I find it orderly.”

“Don’t tell my mother that, or she won’t stop talking about how ‘Lady Y/n complimented her naming system’.” Benedict jokes.

You laugh before you see Eloise bringing out what you assumed was the gossip sheet. She hands it to you before you read it over, turning slightly pale at the mentions of your family so intimately.

Harrison had made it into town earlier that afternoon, only to be wondering why Mama’s, and Ladies alike- married or not- had been whispering and pointing at him. On the other hand, he had been met with a warm embrace from his wonderful sister Charlotte, and loving Mother, Phil, only to be dragged by Charlotte for her to tell him to read the latest Lady Whistledown, a woman he knew he hadn’t heard of, nevertheless thought he’d fucked. 

He however listened to his sister and her worry, before being shell-shocked by what was on the page. 

“Charlotte what the hell is this? And who the hell wrote it?"

“Lady Whistledown is but the biggest anonymous gossip columnist, and everyone reads it. Haz what am I to do if no suitors show interest when I am eligible for marriage? What if I end up a spinster?!”

“Char, I won’t let that happen I promise you.”

Harrison was determined to make sure charlotte never had to worry. She was the most lovely of any woman on the market and he would make sure she had a shot. 

“Wait Osterfield, you’re saying, you’ll Woo whoever is the most desired by the queen and marry her?” Tom askes very confusedly as to what sparked this in his bestfriend.

“Yes Tom, That is my plan,” Harrison replies before taking a sip of his drink again.

The two men had reunited at the Bridgerton’s gentleman club, talking over Harrison’s not so genius plan, according to Tom.

“Do you know how many mamas loathe even the sight of you right now? Especially because of Lady Whistledown.” Harrison’s face scrunches up, cringing at that. 

“Yes, I know already. But if I can just get in the good graces of Lady Whistledown, then I know any mama will turn around! maybe if I form an attachment with someone she might see that I’m serious about marrying. Don’t you have that cousin? Zendaya?”

“That’s a terrible idea, Harrison. Also, Zendaya is now going to be under my care according to my mother. She told her father, who is ill,  I’d watch out for her during the season to find her a suitable husband.”

Harrison gets a mischievous, conniving look on his face as the gears turn in his brain. “I said suitable Haz! Her father would have a heart attack if you came near her!”

“Fine, but can you at least convince her to show interest in me to the other ladies? So I can find a wife?”

Tom rolls his eyes before downing his drink mentally hating the idea, but agreeing to try for his almost brother,  even if he didn’t think he’d find a wife.

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As my current obsession The King: Eternal Monarch comes to a close, I want to do a review of the drama with some things I’ve been thinking about. This is all random and coming out as I reflect.

—

OST that makes me think of the drama: Gravity by Kim Jong Wan. One of my favorite songs from the drama and when it comes on it suddenly brings me back to some pretty epic moments.

Favorite OST: Orbit by Hwasa. This song was and is on repeat throughout the drama for me. Although it wasn’t played alot towards the middle and last half of the drama, it’s still superior.

OST I Didn’t Really Listen To: I Fall In Love, A Quiet Night and My Day Is Full Of You. Nothing against these songs, they’re all nice and I am listening to one or two of them since the dreams ended, but it didn’t grab my attention as the other songs.

Favorite Lee Eul scenes: Gon feeding Tae Eul and her joking about sneaking out touched the domestic side of me and I am living for it. Honorable moment is the neck kiss. I’ve never seen a neck kiss or a kiss this intimate in a drama before. I know he did something similar in another drama, but for me this is the first. I just love how perfectly placed it was. Tae Eul literally gave him her neck to do this. And I researched that neck kissed are pretty intimate and initiates a pretty intimate follow up. Now if Gon was trying to say something, I’m sure we understood and so did Tae Eul.

Favorite Kiss: The final kiss. The reason I like it a lot is because of how natural it is. Gon leaning down, smiles, Tae Eul leaning in and Gon swoops in. His lips pucker up to meet Tae Eul’s and the height difference is super cute even though she’s sitting on the table. They follow up with more kisses and the happiness on their face is what nails it for me. Honorable mention is the bedroom kiss.

Funniest Moment: When Gon prepared leaves in case they get stuck in “that time period”. Tae Eul’s face 😂

Favorite Side Ship: Eun Sup and Yeong. They are both so hilarious and off the bat had so much chemistry. They were definitely a side ship that I was invested and interested in. Their final scene together was their parting and it got me emotional because Yeong broke down his wall and gave Eun Sup a hug which says a lot about his stoic demeanor.

Favorite Ending Scene: Oh man. I remember watching this episode and it did not have the main couple together because they were parted for obvious reasons. I remember Tae Eul having a hell of a night and then everything happened so fast. Gon rode in on his horse, blood shed, tears fell, hearts broken, glasses shattered, epic soundtrack, announcement of future Queen and of course epic hug. And then it was out, next episode. I remember grabbing my phone and shouting noooo. I was on the edge of my seat and the final reunion of the two finally happened and the ending credits rolled in. This was an epic ending scene.

Favorite Lee Gon Outfit: It’s the simple black look and overcoat, but the material and the way he fit the form, I just really like it. Also he did some pretty bada$$ things in this outfit. So I find myself always thinking about this look. Some honorable mention is the iconic diamond fit, simple white and black vest (when he takes the overcoat off; it looks extra handsome) and then the light colored fit during his dates with Tae Eul.

Favorite Jung Tae Eul Outfit: Tae Eul’s fashion sense is simple and comfy. She is often wearing baggy and loose jeans, one color tone sweater and a long jacket. My favorite would be this look because she adds a bit of sophisticated with her dress white and black turtleneck.

Most WTF moment: When Lee Lim killed his doppelgänger self after going back to try and warn him. I was so surprised how fast he beheaded himself.

Underrated Character: Shin Jae. He is the other only character where I was in invested in his story. Kim Kyung Nam did a great job acting the pain and angst of his conflict with his mom. It really brought his character out.

Characters I did not care for: Lee Lim and Prime Minsiter Seo Ryeong. They both did were the anatagonist, but honestly did not impress me. I was never quite sure what Lee Lim was actually plotting and he just kept bringing people over and killing people. Sure he had the upper hand in some cases, but honestly his greed and lack of planning is what killed him. Idk what he was doing for the last 70 years or so. As for Prime Minister Seo Ryeong, nothing impressive about her. Although the only time she was tolerable was in the new timeline in the final episode where she was in jail and Luna came to visit her because it looks like they’re sisters now. They interaction was sweet and familial bickering.

Character I didn’t expect: Luna. I was looking forward to her character and how she’ll play into the storyline especially with how the cast members spoke about her during interviews. And honestly at one point I felt like she was one of the only one who shook Lee Lim’s core which was super entertaining to watch while it lasted. I liked how peeved he was by her and she just went about her way, unbothered. I also realized how the writer was creating Luna’s character to be good and bad. She poisoned Gon, stabbed Tae Eul, but didn’t kill her father, didn’t stab Tae Eul enough to kill her even though it looked like she did. Tae Eul trusted her enough to let her go and be with her own dad. Luna’s story is still a mystery.

Biggest Twist: when Gon realized that Shin Jae was actually from his world and said he was Shin Jae’s King. 🤯

Favorite Lee Eul Hug: This one. No need to explain. 💯

Relationship that surprised me: Luna and Seo Ryeong in the new reality. I really enjoyed their “sister” dynamic in episode 16 where Luna had a name change and became a cop and Seo Ryeong was unfortunately in jail, but their interaction even tho they both pretended not to be close, they were. It was funny and the best performance from Jung Eun Chae. Quite honestly I feel bad about where her character eventually ended. Her greed got the worse out of her.

Favorite Side Character: Yeong. I really like his character with his side glances/ glares at Tae Eul and his love and dedication to Gon. I’m glad he kept his promise to himself to protecting Gon. Also Woo Do Hwan did a great job playing two characters.

Plot I am still confused about: the little boy with the yo-yo. I wasn’t quite sure how he fitted into the entire drama. He definitely peaked my interest and he was obviously traveling back and forth, but I feel like his story never connected to the main plot. Honorable mention was Park Jiyoung, the pregnant woman. Like what was the point of crossing her over?

Character Death: Prince Lee Jong In, I had a feeling he’d died but also didn’t expect it. Honorable mention is Seo Ryeong’s mom. She was collateral damage. When Seo Ryeong called to ask her mom what she had for dinner a code for her doppelgänger, and she answered jajangmyeon, the chills.

BONUS!

Favorite Product Placement: CHICKEN! Man I can’t tell you how bad I wanted korean fried chicken because of the drama. LMH ate this at every chance he got and he made me crave it. They did a great job selling it to me. 😅 Honorable mention is the coffee drink that everyone dranked and man when they shot that scene where Yeong had to throw the drink to Shin Jae and still had to show the product name, lmao the commitment. 🤣

Worse Product Placement aka the one that was painfully noticeable: Okay; almost all were in our faces, but the painful was the one where Tae Eul was using the Kahi lipstick/cheek/moisturizer all in one stick. 🤣 when she explained the product to Jang Mi during a stake out I nearly passed out from secondhand embarrassment. And honorable mention is the CELLRETURN LED mask although when Eun Sup used it to be iron man that was cute.

—

Overall rating: 8.5/10. There were some choppy moments here and there and some loose ends and characters that I didn’t quite understand or had to really think about it. But it was never enough to say this was a bad drama. In fact it’s been a while I was this invested in a drama where I had to come up with theories and such. Not a lot of drama makes me do that. As a fan of BTS, theories comes as second nature 😅.

There were some moments that happened off screen and later on we’ll realized something had happen prior which at the beginning was hard to decipher, but once I realized the drama was doing that, I enjoyed it because sometimes it’ll be a pleasant surprise. I love how the drama hardly opened up each episode with how it last ended, they always gave us a backstory/content prior.

I think Gon and Tae Eul’s character had growth and progression, especially Tae Eul who had to unpack a lot of herself. The more the drama went on the more we got to see different sides of her which peeled some layers she built up as a detective and some described her as cold. I think with all that she went through definitely shaped her quite a bit. And Gon I felt started off the show strong. He had strong morals, grasped things quite fast, but was also caring, strong headed, dependable and responded rather than reacted. Of course he has his moments of being childish and playful, but it never strayed him from being off or uncharacter like. I think Tae Eul describes it perfectly in one of the episode that he knows when to joke despite a traumatic childhood. She is simply saying he’s grown into a decent man who doesn’t let a past define him, he lives it fully and that comes off in all his actions throughout the entire drama.

As for the other characters, I am glad we got to see Shin Jae’s character development as well. I’ve said it before, but he was one where I felt the writer went deeper into his story. Yeong would be the second, although he remains a mystery even until the end. I never quite understood where he stood except that fact that he deeply cares and loves his King, and in what context, only he would know. The writer has written strong second leads before and sometimes even third leads, but I would say wasn’t her best, but again it’s not so bad where you would say the drama was a complete failure or unbearable to watch.

And finally I can’t wrap up without saying something about the cinematography. Because man there were some beautiful shots, some CG works and some transitions or angles that really came into play to make the drama what it was. I don’t have it, but one of my favorite is when Gon is poisoned and falls down and it transitions to his younger self, that was breathtaking. An example of the angles and transitions is below and it was dramatic and the camera got to play with all its angles. All this for a dramatic handshake and of course my favorite soundtrack adds to the flare.

*slides into your asks with a rose in my mouth* why hello, tis me!

Apologies for the long wait but your favorite long asks anon is here and OOF so much has happened. Let us break it down one by one lol

Monsta x our beans, welp we can officially say we are army wives for them because shownu is now at the military and just welp this feels weird lol. I lowkey forgot he was meant to enlist so when the news came out I went through so many emotions. Its why the latest comeback feels a bit bittersweet to me. It is their BEST for sure and for this year, I agree so to not see him perform right before he left is a bit sad. I don't blame him of course (if anyone does i am fish slapping you) but just a shame. I'm happy we do get content with him still? Seems pre-planned so that is nice!

Onto legends exo, fantastic comeback. I cannot stop listening to the album, its just bops full of bops to me. They broke so many records and I'm over here sipping my tea because fudge yes. It isn't a full member comeback, 2 of the members featured in the comeback are off playing call of duty and they still did THAT. While having lay properly in the comeback!? (Or at least some form, better than tempo era!) Kyungsoo my beloved, the man that can swoon you off your feet, his proper solo album. Omg I am just in love? The album feels like a Playlist that you hear while taking a walk or on a raodtrip? I love it, I just love everything about this with how much thought was given. It makes me feel warm and I'm so proud of him (I think he even got a first win) but sadly xiumin got the it shall not be named virus D: I feel so bad and I can only hope he gets better! It makes me worried because I keep seeing more and more idols getting sick and I can't help but wonder why don't the kpop entertainment just put a pause with stuff? Of course that is VERY unrealistic, I am aware that is naive for me to think but its just so idk how to word it properly (my English brain is not working I am sorry) I cannot help the feeling of while I get people are being safe and yes we need to still live like normal beings, is it worth risking idols health just for some entertainment? Idk how to explain my thoughts properly but maybe I hope I made sense!!

Onto svt! That is perfectly fine to not vibe with a comeback! I will admit, I didn't fully vibe with this comeback and it shocked me because every comeback was a hit to me. Even fear, left and right or homerun where I know many fans were split on, I liked but RTL was a grower. For me, listening to it without watching the mv, helped it alot and it is a song I like. Is it their best? No I don't think so but it is alright to say "hey I didn't bop to this, not my cup of tea" (imo I blame the mv? The mv REALLY didn't do the song justice at all, I am sorry if I sound like a fake fan but this mv Just is bad in all aspects. Sure we have some pretty shots but like it just doesn't fit at all?) So if anything listening to the song or wishing the live performances does it better. Seeing the choreography amps the song up more, cannot go wrong with their dancing. As for the rest of the songs, I admit game boy is my top favorite? Idk if it is because I am a gaming nerd and found all the production of the song so creative but yeah. We can wait for the next comeback! Svt always have something up their sleeves, plus we do have their music projects to look forward too (I wonder when we will get one? Seeing as RTL promotions stopped) some positive news with the boys is they resigned like a year before their contract ends and I'm a bit emotional :') I'm excited to see the boys future projects. We did have caratland recently! Did you watch it if I may ask? We did get in the soop confirmation so I'm excited to watch that, the boys deserve that nice break (even if it was filmed for a show fjsbsns)

Ok I think that is it for kpop updates? XD I do hope life has been treating you kindly! Life has been a bit all over the place sadly so I hope it wasn't like that for you as well! Until next time my bean!

hii!!!! omg sorry for the late reply i've been pretty busy these days 🙈

indeed so much has happened! and much more since you sent this ask omg!!

our shownu is at war *looks into the distance* *wipes away tear* *sighs* by now I got used to enlistment news (see what happens when you stan 2nd and 3rd gen groups) but STILL [[IT HURT]] when they uploaded the monchannel videos of his goodbye day like ????? what kind of twisted mind diuhdfuihdifuhs but the boys were all so cute and soft but they seemed so sad they didn't want to let go of their super leader :(( I hope he's learning lots and making new friends (and also we've got our international super spy yoo kihyun giving us small updates on him every now and then so everything's fine!). Yeah I totally get you it felt empty without him this comeback and at first it didn't really clicked with me but when the enlistment news came out i understood he had to take care of his health and thoroughly check on his eye sight in order to be 100% ready for the military so it made sense he had to be absent :( everything was so close (the comeback and enlistment) that I'm sure there was no other way for doing it I'm pretty sure he couldn't maybe postpone the enlistment day any further

onto exo! my ksoo my soft boi my romantic boi 🥺 his album is so him SO HIM i can't explain it bur it's just HIM you know it's the type of album you'd play on loop on a summer afternoon when you've taken your papers and paints outside in the garden to paint a bit with the warm soft breeze moving the trees lightly 🤧 and he signs in English and SPANISH (he did it for me) my multilingual king he's a native. Also I've been watching Honeymoon Tavern with Jongin these days and OMG i could d word for him really (if you haven's watched it go do it when you have time) he's SO SOFT and SO CUTE and he works as a waiter and a wedding planner and helps with the room preparations and is also a tour guide and he's just so cute so happy al the time the way he interacts with everyone is so 🥺🤧😭 onto more serious stuff now: yeah i was so worried about minseok catching covid omg but i'm glad he went through it with our any major complication and the rest of the boys are safe too! I guess the industry doesn't stop bc that would mean a huge loss of thousands and thousands of dollars/won/etc so as long as the gov doesn't prohibit going out or gathering like at the beginning of the pandemic, they'll keep on going with the idols' schedules otherwise the industry would just shut down having no way of earning money to sustain all the companies and idols.

as for seventeen! yeah i like the songs too! the mv sure ruined rtl and listening to it without watching it has really helped it grow on me more but still it feels kind of meh to me idk i really like anyone i think it's my favourite from the album. AND NOW WE'VE GOT A COMEBACK IN OCTOBER!!!! yayyyyy i can't wait they seem to be preparing very diligently (i hope they release a sexy bop) it's a shame junhao aren't gonna be present for this comeback but i'm soooooo happy they have the opportunity to visit their families again omg they have spent 2 whole years without seeing them in the flesh they must be so happy to get back to them again!!! it's so funny seeing them be bored at the quarantine hotel and doing lives every day duhdfiudhfiuh i hope it passes quickly and they can see their loved ones finally! and I did watch Caratland!! omg the unit switch song was the best thing ever hhu doing lilili yabbay and not being able to stop laughing idfuhdifuhs perf team doing chocolate and owning it????? hello??? performance team more like main vocal team wow! and the vocal team being a complete mess during check in lmaooo i loved it! In The Soop has finally started!!! I love these kind of "normal life" concepts I love seeing the boys being themselves cooking and relaxing I've watched the first and second eps as of today and also few clips from the third and omg mingyu and jeonghan drowning in the pond dfuhidfhidfs lmao they're so dumb i love them 🤣 i'm glad they could go away for a few days and spend time together away from their hectic schedules!

I hope you're well now and if not hang in there it'll all pass soon enough! 🥰💕 bye bye!!

p.s.: I got your request for the svt this or that gifset and i promise i’ll do it one day i just don’t feel like giffing these days dhbduusi i’m out of energy 

Survey #438

“i won’t let you die, keep you alive just to remind you of what you are not”

What is your favorite card game? Probably Magic: The Gathering, even though I'm not great at it. I just ADORE the artwork, mainly. Is YouTube one of your favorite websites? Yeah, given I'm constantly on it. Does your mother have a sister? If so, what’s her name? Yeah, named Kelly. What are you doing tomorrow? I'll be going with Mom to the pool at the gym. She goes Tuesdays and Thursday, so I'm going to start joining her to help ease soreness from my exercise days. Would you ever want to go to Africa? It's high on my bucket list! I am DESPERATE to visit the KMP and photograph and pet and pamper the meerkats. :') Last time you went bowling? Not since I was on a date with Girt. Would you ever want to own a bakery? Noooo, I don't enjoy cooking of any sort. I'm way too impatient. Do you like to text? It's funny, I don't enjoy it as much as I used to. I make typos too much and autocorrect only wants to work at the WRONG time, it seems. I'd still rather text than actually talk on the phone, though. You want your next pet to be what? To be realistic, it'll probably be a western hognose snake. I REALLY want a tarantula, but Mom absolutely will not allow it for as long as I live with her, lol. Trust me, I've pestered her about it. Would you rather be a vampire or a mermaid? Eh, probably a vampire. Do you prefer white or black electronics? Black. Do you like Nerds candy? Yeah. Is your favorite animal something you can have as a pet? I could write a college-length essay on why you absolutely shouldn't, but it's sadly legal in some countries. Thankfully, not America. What was the last classic novel you read? Did you enjoy it? Oh yikes, I have no idea. Name three movies which have a soundtrack you really love: Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron, Tarzan, and The Blair Witch Project: Book of Shadows. What’s the scariest video game you’ve ever played? I know it's super cliche, but I genuinely found Outlast terrifying. As well, SCP Containment Breach is a game I can't even play because the jumpscares startle me too much, lol. They're just too loud. Do you own any pet fish? What kind of fish are they? No. I'm not really interested in keeping fish as pets. What is the most irritating thing that a boyfriend or girlfriend has ever done to you? Tyler wanted to talk CONSTANTLY. Barely even two weeks in and he got all bent out of shape over there being days we just didn't text. Like dude, especially this early in a relationship, I don't want to talk 24/7. He acted like we were together for years or some shit. Like sorry I want alone time. That relationship was just a bad idea. Have you ever known someone who was in an abusive relationship? Sadly. Out of all of your friends/relatives, who would you say has the best vocabulary? Probably Girt. He's just in general very smart. When yawning, do you cover your mouth? If out in public, yes. If you had a garden, what would you plant in it? Would you actually tend to it, or would it wind up neglected & withered? I could NEVER maintain a garden, but if I had the motivation and tolerance for the heat, that'd be nice. I'd love mostly flowers, and a grapevine would be pretty! Plus some strawberries. Do you like peanut butter? Yeah, definitely. What about marshmallows? Yep. How do you roast your marshmallows? They have to be BARELY brown at all. Like it has to be the liiightest toast. Do you eat s’mores? Ugh, hell yes. I really want some now, thanks. Own a lava lamp? No, but I'd love a pink one. :( Or black. Own any sort of glow-in-the-dark room accessory? No. Ever done something sexual in public? No, I have common decency. Do you like the taste of squid or eel? I COULD FUCKING NEVER TRY EITHER. Slimy or rubbery stuff like that is such a massive no. Ever date anybody in middle school? Yeah, Aaron in the 7th grade for a few months. Did you like to get dirty when you were little? I think I did. Like I know I loved speeding through mud puddles on my bike as a kid. Own anything that has to do with dragons or unicorns? I have a lot of dragon decor. Ever wanted to be a vet? Yep. Ever written your number in a public bathroom or a school text book? If so, did anyone actually call you? No. What type of weapon do you prefer? Uh, none...? I don't like weapons. Is there something that you haven’t told anyone that you actually would like to tell someone? No, not really. Would you rather watch a full season of American Idol, or So You Think You Can Dance? The latter, by far. I used to love that show. I really enjoy watching dances. Have you ever worn boxers? Pretty sure no? Last hickey was from? I've only gotten to that point with one person, you can figure it out. Have you ever put a kick me sign on the back of someone? No, that is so rude. Are there any inappropriate pictures of you anywhere? No. I've never taken an inappropriate picture. How many times do you tend to sneeze in a row? Two or three. Karma; believe or don’t? I don't believe it's a thing. I wish it was. Ever changed a diaper? Once. Or maybe twice? No plans on ever doing that again. When you see anything smaller than a quarter on the ground, do you pick it up? I don't even pick quarters up, really. Can bald guys ever be attractive? Um, yes? Do you like hugs? Yessss. Would you ever donate blood? Yeah, I have before. I'd just have to get better about drinking water so I don't faint. Are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth? No. Ever had the opposite sex over when no one was home? You make that sound so scandalous, lmao. Yeah. What is the last song to make you cry? "Another Life" by Motionless In White. Have you ever kissed someone in the rain? Yeah. Have you kissed someone with braces? No. Are you anyone’s first love? I don't believe so. Anything happen to you within the past month that made you really happy? I'M LOSING WEIGHTTTTTT. :') The gym is paying off! Is there a person of the opposite gender on your mind? That's kinda a permanent thing. He's always there, even if only in the back. Who was the last person to wink at you? My cat, ha ha. Did you parents know what gender you were before you were born? Yes. Are any of your really close friends pregnant right now? REALLY close friends, nope. Are you for or against inter-racial relationships? ... You know it's 2021, right???? This never should have been controversial. Have you ever been addicted to something unhealthy? Well, there's caffeine... When the holidays come around, do you watch holiday movies? No. When was the last time someone insulted you? What was the insult? I don't recall. Do you say “Happy Holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas” in order to avoid offending people who don’t celebrate Christmas? I honestly just say "merry Christmas." Have you ever made/played with a sock puppet before? Yes. Have you ever seen a waterfall (aside from in a fountain or other manmade things)? Only small ones. Are you a frequent sufferer of heartburn? Yes; I actually have a prescription for chronic heartburn. If I don't take it, I'll get heartburn to the point I come near tears. How many different colleges have you gone to? Three. How much stress can you handle? Ha, not a lot at all. What is one thing you thought you’d never do but have done or are doing? I'm 25 and feel like I've just... wasted so much, and I continue to. I never thought I'd make it to this age and to have gone so short a distance in terms of being a successful adult. Have you ever disowned a friend or family member for their beliefs? I've stopped being friends with people, yes. Do you ever feel like your life is too boring or predictable? It 120% is. Do you think you will die happy? To be honest... I think no a lot of the time. Do you like looking at pictures? Yeah. Are you a submissive person? Very. Do you believe the dead can have connections with the living? I do. What are your views on the death penalty? I support it in extreme cases. Once you prove to be a thorough monster that deeply endangers other humans... you don't deserve life. We as a society have to work together, not destroy one another. Do you like horror movies? Why or why not? Yeah! I like the thrill of them. Would you ever be able to become a vegan? No; I am FAR too picky with my food. I want to be vegan, but I just wouldn't survive. What was your favorite toy as a child? I had a whole story based around some plastic dinosaurs, alligators, deer, and Pokemon figurines. Who was your first best friend? What is your favorite memory of/with them? Are you two still friends? Brianna. I don't know what my favorite memory is... We made a lot. We're Facebook friends, but we don't talk anymore. Would you rather hang out with someone who is always high or someone who constantly wants to get drunk all the time? High, I guess. Drunk people I think get sloppier and, in some cases, angry. The (few) high people I've been around have just been chill and friendly. How did you meet your newest friend? I'm not entirely sure who I consider to be my newest friend. The last time you kissed someone, were your arms around their neck? I don't think so? I'm pretty sure I was just hugging her around the waist. You have to get a facial piercing, what do you get? I've mentioned how I wanna get my nose re-pierced in multiple surveys. Do you straighten your hair? No. When is the next time you will see the person you like? Who knows, dude. I really want to be able to walk for two minutes without feeling like I'm dying before I go to an airport again, and even more importantly, even as a fully-vaccinated person, I want Covid to chill out before I travel again. And who the fuck knows when that'll be since people don't want to listen to goddamn professionals. Did you get to sleep in today? I actually slept through my alarm and was late to gym today. :x Your first dog? I was born into the family with a collie named Trigger, but she passed when I was a baby, so I don't have any memories of her. We got what I want to say was a Rottweiler mix named Angel at one point, who I consider our first family dog, but she was born with that disease that some puppies have where they just... die. Who I consider MY first REAL dog was Teddy. <3 Stood loyally by my side as my furry son and most devoted friend for around 13 years. Do you prefer mint, citrus, or cinnamon toothpaste? Mint. Are you one of those people who are always cold? No, I'm always hot. Have you done anything sneaky lately? No. Have you ever had feelings for someone and thought “This is the person I want to be with forever”? Yeah, twice. Do you keep notes, drawings or letters that people give you? Of course! Have you had a significant other that you never kissed? Well, boyfriends, but I wouldn't count the ones I haven't kissed as truly "significant other"s. Has anybody ever dated you only for your looks? I don't think so. Do you have any handshakes with anybody? Nah. What are you listening to? "Necessary Evil" by Motionless In White & Jonathan Davis. Would you take back your last boyfriend/girlfriend? Yeah. Who is your favorite band? How long have they been? Ozzy Osbourne. Since middle school. Who is your favorite author? I don't have a fave. Do you like cheesecake? BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITCH- How did you meet the last person you kissed? YouTube, back when it had more social aspects. Do you wake up cranky? Not usually, no. I'm actually in my best mood in the morning. Have you ever met your favorite band/singer? No, but holy fuck would that be awesome. I want to thank him for his music so badly. Do you have a good relationship with your parent(s)? Yeah. Has the last person you kissed ever been to your house? My old house, yes, but not this one. Do chickens have feelings? Yes. Have you ever been to a spa? Yeah, even though I really wasn't interested. I just went with Colleen because she invited me. I appreciated her wanting to hang out and include me of course, so I was happy to go, but it's not something I'd do of my own volition. The last time you were in the fridge, what were you looking for? The lemonade. Favorite South Park character? I don't have one, given I'm not interested in the show. How often do you have to shave? When/where I shave grows back FAST, so frequently. Ever go ghost hunting? No but omg I'd love to. Someone date me just to go do this together one night lmao. Do you have any family in the military? No. Can you talk to your mother about most things? I know I CAN talk to her about absolutely everything, but I don't always. Would you ever homeschool your children? If they wanted it and it'd be beneficial to their health and educational success, then yes. Are you afraid of change? Oh boy, am I. Who’s your favourite character from one of your favourite books? I'll go with The Outsiders, in which case I remember it was Dally.

TL;DR melancholic rant on why I took the writing in WoW so badly this year just to get it all out and finish my fucking five stages of grief spin routine.

Gonna read more it, it’s probably gonna end up super long and unedited really so don’t feel obligated to read lol

     I am one of those losers that has been with Warcraft for the whole 25 years. I watched the company grow from “check out this FULL GAME coming with this gaming magazine! it’s called Warcraft: Orcs and Humans!” to being the biggest MMO around and celebrating 25 years while the world is burning.      And when I was younger, it was perfect. It had everything. Nice gameplay, cool and funny voices, decent graphics for its time, cool models, and it started having a story too. Perf! 

     I never got along well with my brother, but by the gods the only fond memories I have of him are centered around Warcraft. Watching him play WC1. Him teaching me to play WC2. Me playing WC3. Him leaving our abusive home to hide out in internet cafes, and my parents sending me to look for him, and us just staying in there for hours, me watching him play WC3. Fond memories of us getting our two toaster computers hooked up for LAN to play WC over it.

     Then WoW came, and my brother first got us an US account - it was impossible to play cross-region back then, our lag was immense, in the thousand of ms on a good day. So then an EU account. First rolled on Sylvanas, one of the biggest servers back then, then on Twisting Nether. I would skip school just so I could play because my toaster wouldn’t run it, only my brother’s computer, so when he was at work I’d be skipping high school playing WoW (I did fine, don’t worry). I invested so much time into my vanilla account it’s surreal. I wouldn’t be shocked if I found out it has more /played than the rest of my life in the game.      I met my ex on TN. I still have my vanilla account and characters on EU TN. The relationship with my ex doesn’t matter, it was abusive, toxic, I was a dumb optimist that stayed in it, doesn’t matter. He tried to get me to stop playing WoW. I still remember many instances when he went off on me for seeing me online, it’s 5 years since I broke up with him and like 8 since I stopped playing WoW with him and my heart still skips a beat when I get a whisper or hear the guild member login sound. It was that bad. He sure did his best to make me play the game only with him, “because he didn’t trust me and I would cheat on him through the game” - guys, if any of you are in this boat, please please please, put your foot down or break up. Your interests should be sacred and respected, as should be your entire person. But I digress.

     Instead of breaking up, I went the mature route of buying a US license, and playing it while he was at work or I was visiting my parents. I rolled on a RP server for the first time ever, and it was probably the best decision of my life, so, gotta thank my abusive ex for that. I met many wonderful people, have many wonderful things on that account, and another 7 years of wonderful things on my EU account.

     Then, the community itself. I hate it. Believe me, I hate the playerbase and fanbase of WoW with a burning passion. But at the same time, I have met amazing, wonderful, intelligent, friendly people I love and respect and wish the best for (if you’re reading this you’re part of this, yes, don’t let your brain trick you into thinking you’re a horrible person lol).      This is another fun arc. I started in the cringe culture. OCs are lame, who makes OCs lol. Then I became, I make OCs and cringe culture can die. Same with characters, but it’s different there. Oh, so different.

     See, I began by loving the obvious characters - Thrall, Jaina, Sylvanas, Tyrande, Malf, the works. I didn’t even like Garrosh much as his arc was unfolding - between the thing with my ex, quitting Cataclysm, changing regions and restarting, I didn’t really have a chance to dwell into him fully. He became a villain and I was all yeah okay. Iguess.jpg. I even wanted him out of the story at his peak edgelord moments because I liked Anduin more obviously. WoD was something I did not process almost at all because I was high on a cocktail of pain meds and post-partum depression and sleep deprivation. Legion was pointless bullcrap in my eyes on the main story factor, and I sort of enjoyed BFA until the whole Saurfang sucks Sylvanas fucks deal in the writer dept and fandom.

     Deciding to finally read the novels I had missed out on, and reading War Crimes, was what propelled me into “hahahahahah these idiots actually acquitted Garrosh of crimes in this book? Are they for fucking real?” and actually realizing the entire arc was a complete mess, BFA is a mess, the writer dept is a mess, and suddenly, I had no footing to stand anymore. A spit in the face, and then it overlapped the Saurfang hErOiC sAcRiFiCe special edition. I sort of had a breakdown and I hid it behind “well Saurfang was hot lol now I don’t have my orc grandpa anymore” but it was deeper than that.

     See, when we get into a setting, we have this selfish expectation that it will grow with us. That it will mature with us. Keep up with us. That we will always enjoy this setting, definitely not as starry eyed as we did as children, but that it will always be good. ATLA is a great example. Dragonlance is still good. Star Wars may be hammy and have tons of issues now as an adult, but it’s still good.  But Warcraft was my lifeblood for 25 years.       And to know that not only it did not grow with me, but it regressed beyond belief, destroyed me in a strange sense. Kind of like losing a friend, a family member. They didn’t just kill Saurfang for me, the setting died with him as far as I’m concerned. Because he was the last bastion of what interested me in it. 

     I am that weirdo that loves, loves, war movies and books. I devour them. That was part of my downfall, and the writers and fanbase of WoW so often make it feel like it is, somehow, MY FAULT (just like Garrosh getting backstabbed repeatedly was his fault I guess?)       It feels like it’s my fault that I care about weird things like the Geneva Conventions, and the Paris Conventions, and so on and so forth. It feels like I’m the idiot for knowing basic military tactics and conventions. It feels like I’m the idiot for wanting WARcraft to, at all, even a little bit, bear any resemblance to real wars, to real military tactics, to genuine war stories with genuinely well written soldiers. In my folly and pride, I forgot it’s first and foremost, a fantasy setting, a simplistic one at that.

     It insulted me these guys can’t even google what consists a war crime. It insults me to my core these guys paint the ONE (1) character who goes all “hey maybe.... weird concept but..... maybe not kill kids, or torture prisoners, or kill unarmed soldiers and civilians. Maybe show COMPASSION”, that this guy had to go. It also insults me the only other character who listened to him - Garrosh, yes - was written as the setting’s biggest fucking villain to this day, and it needed some real fucking propaganda and twisting of the OBJECTIVE narrative to get that to pass, and yet it successfully passed by so many, including myself years ago as it unfolded. 

     At this point, it’s insulting to see the same themes - mentally unstable or hurt people deserve to suffer and die, there is no happiness because happiness and happy endings are for toddlers, we are just edgelords jacking off to our self inserts, world isn’t fair because real world isn’t fair anyway kiddo grow up, and what the fuck is honor even we just make it up no? Also objective facts and lore? Fuck that who cares lmao.

     Here’s the deal. 

     War stories NEED hope. I can handle watching a whole regimen be killed in brutal ways in war, because REAL war stories always leave you SOMETHING at the end that was worth the whole pain. In a REAL war story, perhaps Saurfang would have still committed suicide by proxy in front of everyone, but people around him would have actually then gone and maybe fucking went “you know what he was correct. Let’s write the Geneva Conventions.” In a REAL war story, it would have been handled so much better. And perhaps, in a REAL war story, he would have survived. With so much loss, so much pain, and yet - with HOPE. Hope, for HIMSELF, for the future. Not the generic bullshit hOpE they tried to write into him. yOu CaNt KiLL hOpE.......      Yes, you can.       You fucking can.      By killing off the last fucking character in the setting that cared about actual military honor (not just the buzzword it is in this fandom and setting), the last fucking character that cared about tomorrow, about fighting for a better world.      That’s how you kill hope.      And in my eyes, they did so damn well.

     Because I don’t want to sit around and be insulted for another 25 years that I’m the only idiot who expects tactics, honor, a good outcome, a hopeful ending. Because I have reached the point I hate being in this game only to hear sTrEnGtH aNd hOnOr when it literally means nothing. Because I reached a point I hate watching the double standards they apply to their precious babes while the minor characters get thrown under the bus for way less. Because I reached a point where the fandom trying to go all “but Alex, someone has to set a precedent for a war crime trial!” means jack shit when nobody ELSE has been tried for any war crimes AFTER Garrosh (which would’ve been PEACHY by the fucking way). Because I got to a point Blizzcon gave me goddamn anxiety every time someone IMed me to tell me an announcement, and I got to a point I blacklisted half the tags on tumblr because I walk in to read what my friends have been up to and some damn Discourse makes its way to my dash, only for me to find myself feeling stupid and in the wrong for liking Saurfang. Not even Garrosh, which I would admit is Problematic(tm) but goddamn Saurfang.       Leave it to this setting and fandom for making me feel stupid and idiotic and in the wrong for loving the goddamn war movie protagonist.

     And at the end of it all, after much debate, I don’t think I will quit the setting. Writers don’t care, about their lore, about their characters, about us. The other fans don’t care who they hurt with their edgy rhetoric, I sure as fuck didn’t when I was younger and dumber myself. I’m sure eventually the wound will close completely and I’ll dissociate again from the story and fanbase and enjoy the gameplay and my very wonderful friends. First step in that, just for me, is to not buy Shadowlands. The xpack after, perhaps, it depends. But just out of spite, I will be that one idiot who has a sub running but doesn’t give a +1 sale on Shadowlands. Just for myself.

     Second step...? Who knows.... Who the hell knows what tomorrow will bring... This has indeed hurt worse than anything in my life. I have been going through the stages of grief - jokingly or seriously - since 8.2.5 now (and a whole load of 5 months of pure anger before that processing Garrosh’s arc from an objective standpoint). I cried more over the death of Saurfang (and the setting) than over my ex of 10 years leaving me as a single mom, or over all my other relationships combined. I’m not ashamed to admit that even if it’s cRiNgY. Like I said, it wasn’t just the death of one fictional character, but the death of a setting I loved and grew up with. The final acceptance that there is nothing left for me in the setting that shaped my interests, art, writing, and all that. That my interests have gone too far in other directions - optimism, actual war stories, good stories, being a mature individual, acknowledging mentally ill or divergent characters and not making excuses for author darlings. It’s a weird thing... Like the final acceptance that I have lost what could qualify as a dear friend or family member. While they are still alive and interacting with me daily. Like a breakup. But way worse.      It is a pain I wish on noone honestly.      But I do hope against hope, like an idiot, that other settings, other writers, future generations of writers, will do better. I know they won’t. But I’ll take my sliver of hope.

     And if you read this far, I do genuinely hope the game - this game, any other interests - will keep bringing joy to you. And also, help yourself to a cookie. Thanks <3 I wish you a good day/weekend.

Under The Light Of The Full Moon - NaLu FanFiction

Title: Under The Light Of The Full Moon

Pairing: NaLu

Prompt: NaLu Week Day 6 - Sensation

Rating: T;

None of these characters are owned by me, they are all owned by the wonderful Hiro Mashima!

A/N:

Honestly im just using this as an excuse to write werewolf lucy because goddamnit ive wanted to for an eternity also I forgot I wrote this so here y’all go im hella late to the party lmao

FF.net

The air was thick with the scent of dragon, and against Lucy's better judgement, she decided to follow it to the end of its trail. Tonight, she was at the peak of her strength, and every sense was on fire as she followed her curiosity. Dragons were secretive creatures, and very rarely caught doing who-knows-what in the forest. Personally, she'd never met one. She only knew the scent from descriptions her favorite pack member gave her. For all she knew it may not even be a dragon she was hunting.

Well, if it wasn't a dragon she could worry about that later. Instead, she followed the enticing scent of smoky firewood, and an underlying sweet smell she couldn't quite place. If she could, Lucy would be humming right now as she vibrated with excitement. This was the perfect time after all. With the full moon hung high in the sky; vibrant and clear with no signs of clouds. As a werewolf, she was in peak performance which meant if needed she could make her escape without fear. She was intelligent and quick, only second to her packmate, Jet.

A clearing appeared up ahead on the very edge of her territory. If she tread too far it could incite a large-scale war, and she wasn't about to be the cause of another dispute. Her father was the pack leader after all, and that meant she had to be the perfect lady. What a load of bullshit. What was the point of having wolf blood if you couldn't truly be free?

The bushes rustled as she pushed through them to enter the opening where the large creature no doubt was hiding. She shook her entire body to get the leaves from her fur, and as soon as she was absolutely certain they were gone, she gave an aggravated huff. It was then that she lifted her head to look at what she considered to be her prey since she'd been stalking it for 30 minutes now.

Surprised. That was the emotion Lucy Heartfilia felt as she looked upon what could not possibly be a dragon. His hair was a shade of pink she'd only ever seen when passing the flower shop next to her favorite bookstore. His skin was sun-kissed even in the shade of silver that came from the pearl in the sky above her. Truly the scene was breathtaking, and yet the scent that radiated from his body was the same one she'd followed all the way here.

Now, it could be that he was a drake. She'd heard stories from the elder pack members of dragons who'd taken human mates, and given birth to half-breeds. How did that work? She had absolutely no idea. Who was she to question another species' mating rituals anyway?

Perhaps, he was a half-breed. He did hold attributes similar to a dragon. Sharp, curved black horns protruding from his skull, bright red scales moving across his cheeks and up to his temples, the claws where hands should be. Everything screamed dragon, except, that he wasn't a giant lizard like she had expected. Perhaps, she should be grateful she hadn't run into the fully formed dragon that her packmates had been so scared of.

"What are ya doin' here?" it was a simple question, soft and barely heard above the gust of wind that tore through the clearing. Of course, Natsu wasn't expecting an answer from a wolf. He'd never attracted wildlife before so he would consider this one to be rare. He took a moment longer to stare the creature down in hopes it would run off, and leave him to his own thoughts.

Although, a deeply buried part of him yearned for the company, and hoped the female wolf would stay. She was gorgeous after all. Her fur was long and seemed to be painted by the starlight above as tones of blue and silver drenched her smooth coat.

Though, it was the eyes that pulled him in. Dark chocolate. Normally, wolves of the color white had eyes in shades of blue, yellow, and even on occasion brown and blue at the same time. She had solid brown. It was unique, and he found himself smiling before raking his claws through his hair.

"Ya know, I'm kinda glad you're here. I didn't really want to be alone tonight." Lucy couldn't respond to him, but he seemed to recognize and accept that. He seemed deep in some kind of thought. Obviously, a sad one. She hoped her presence would help him in some way, besides she didn't want to hunt or run around just to get dirty and have to scrub the mud off her skin in the morning.

It was a slow, graceful trot as she met him in the center of the clearing, and sat beside him to share his company. Maybe he'd even speak more, she liked the sound of his voice. It had a soothing calm to it even if it was rough around the edges.

Natsu let himself fall to the grass with an aggravated sigh as he looked for the words to say. He was talking to a woodland creature who couldn't even talk back, in the middle of the night no less. To say he felt a little crazy would be an understatement. Hey, maybe he needed this. Maybe he needed to let out his emotions. Even if it was only to a lone wolf in the middle of the forest.

He was startled as the creature curled into his side and laid her head on his chest. There was some blinking, a crinkle where eyebrows would normally be, and then an annoyed huff. Was she telling him to continue? He supposed it wouldn't hurt to do so.

"I don't want to be king, ya know?" King was much higher than Pack Leader, but she could understand the sentiment.

"I love Igneel, and being his son is great. But I love the wind through my wings, and fighting with the younger members, visiting the towns as I please. Ya can't do that as a king. Ya gotta be responsible." She longed for the freedom he spoke of. They were different in that regard. He had the freedom she sought. To have that ripped away would certainly make her aggravated as well. She gave a small whine to try and signal her agreement, and sympathy. Not being able to speak made this troublesome.

"Trying to make me feel better?" it sounded to him like she'd understood his plight in some way. He was glad for that much.

"Thank you." Soft, but serious. He meant it, and even if the wolf didn't understand him he appreciated her willingness to listen to him. A noise went off in the distance: a howl. It was obviously the call of a wolf. Maybe one from her pack. White ears twitched, and then a small noise from her. It sounded like a ‘no' if he'd ever heard one.

The next howl was louder, and when she finally picked up her head, all she did was bark. Like a kid saying ‘I'm coming!' when their parent calls. The wolf eased up from her position and stretched; first backward and then forward.

"Will ya visit again?" Lucy's head tilted at the idea. She'd seen a dragon, thus her curiosity was quenched, but she hadn't thought about seeing him again. Her head tilted to one side, and then the other. Yes, she decided. She'd come again the next full moon.

The dragon sat up slowly, and as soon as his cheek was high enough she gave a soft nuzzle before turning and disappearing into the night. If she didn't get to the hideout soon her father would give her an earful. That much was certain.

Natsu, however, remained in the clearing till sun up, claw resting upon his cheek, and a soft smile on his lips.

---------------------

Lucy was practically vibrating with excitement even as her packmate Levy stared at her from behind a book.

"Lu? Are you okay? You normally hate the full moon." A correct statement. The blonde nodded in agreement, but still, the feeling did not fade. She'd see him again tonight, surely he'd be in the clearing. She was betting on it, and Lucy was not one to lose a bet. They didn't call her ‘Lucky' Lucy Heartfilia for nothing after all.

Currently, she had her chin resting on her hands as she took in the strong smell of roasted coffee beans and whipped cream. Both of these, however, was second to an old book. The wonderful thing about this shop wasn't the café, although it's a nice bonus, it was really the fact that it was attached to a used bookstore.

Levy had already chosen a classic from the fiction section depicting a war between werewolves and vampires, where Lucy had opted for a more classic romance set in a world of wizards bonded together by loyalty and friendship in a place where they'd built a new family. She was excited to start and finish the book in the next few days.

"I do. Tonight is different though. It's special." The blonde was certain Levy would understand. Levy was the one who'd told her about how dragons smell. Though she'd thought there might be some fibbed details but she wouldn't question her on that.

"Oh. Meeting a boy are we?" she flinched which was all Levy needed. The blunette smirked.

"Hmm-hm. Who's this mystery man?" Levy was personally excited to see her friend intrigued by a male. She'd always talk about boyfriends but never seemed to have an interest in anyone.

"It's just… a man I met in the woods on my last run." The blonde averted her eyes from Levy's and waited for her friend to stop gawking.

"You just. Met a man? In the woods? As a wolf?" Levy recognized that Lucy had already explained that, but damnit she wanted elaboration.

"Between you and me, I followed the scent of a dragon like you said. And I found one!" her grin went from ear-to-ear. Levy swallowed, but her mouth was as dry as cotton. Her best friend had found a dragon in the woods, and subsequently gained interest in said dragon. There was no way Levy had heard right.

"A dragon. In the woods." She repeated, but as a statement instead of a question as if willing her friend to continue.

"Yes. His scales were bright red, and he smelled of smoke. But the kind you bbq meat in, not a forest fire." Lucy finally gave Levy the information she needed to understand what had happened.

"You met the Fire Dragon King's son?" Levy was dumbfounded by her friend's unique ability to fall into troublesome situations.

"He mentioned something like that. How'd you know?"

"I'm dating the Iron Dragon King's son, Gajeel. It was easy to draw the conclusion." Lucy buzzed at the information. She'd known Levy was dating someone but didn't know who until now.

"I can't believe you didn't tell me that!" was all the blonde could manage.

"You know how our pack is Lu. You know interspecies isn't allowed." A rule decided by her father when he first took over as leader. Lucy made a pfft noise and shook her hand in the air.

"We all know that's a rule for me, and no one else. He's just disguising it to keep pack control." While the blunette agreed with Lucy she wasn't going to test that theory.

"Regardless, I'm glad for you. You always hated the full moon until now."

"It's not the full moon I hate. It's the forced transformation." She corrected. Lucy loved the stars more than anything, and each forced transformation was spent staring into the sky. Until now.

"I know that. I'm just surprised. Dragons have keen noses, he should've been able to smell the magic on you. That's how Gajeel found out what I was." Speaking on keen noses. Werewolves definitely didn't match up to dragons, but they still had a hell of a sense of smell. And right now, all Lucy could smell was smoke.

She froze on the spot as a familiar voice chatted outside the window with a large man covered in piercings. Pink, but this wasn't from the flower shop next door. Her breath hitched in her throat, and with a small whimper, she faced away from the pinkette. Their eyes hadn't met, and she was fairly certain he didn't know she was there. It needed to stay that way.

"What are you doing?" Levy's voice broke through her inner monologue with a chiding tone.

"That's him." She whispered. Surely, they could still hear the conversation so Lucy held up a hand, and shook her head before Levy could manage her next question.

"All right. But you better have an explanation in the morning." The blunette was awarded a mock salute from her incredibly nervous blonde friend.

"Wait, are you leaving already?" the question startled Lucy, but she nodded in response.

"Yes, I wanted to get ready for the change. I know it's still early, but…" Levy understood completely. While most of the pack had a seamless transformation, herself included, Lucy did not. Many believed that it was because of her human mother's blood that she had what was regarded as the most painful transition. It was why she never willingly shifted forms.

"I'll see you in the morning, Lu." A small wave from the blunette was Lucy's signal that she was good to head out. With the doors of the café opened all she could hear was what sounded like the end of a conversation that had left the fire drake irritated. Maybe that was usual for him? She didn't know, but a part of her wanted to find out.

"Are you okay?" the words slipped out before she'd even realized it. Her mouth, and her brain, were clearly working against her.

"Huh? Who are you?" gruff. Not at all like the voice from the clearing. Put in perspective she could see where she went wrong. She'd approached an irritated drake and then tried to question him as though she was his friend. She held up her hands in a surrendering fashion which calmed his features ever so slightly.

Features that she found insanely different. He was definitely able to pass as a human if you ignored the fangs. His claws, the scales that adorned his face, and the horns that curved from his temples were all gone. She nearly frowned but caught herself quickly. She missed the man from the clearing, she realized.

"Sorry." His voice was closer to the tone she'd remembered.

"For? It was my fault. I shouldn't have intruded on a personal issue."

"No. I shouldn't have been rude about it." His tone hadn't really bothered her, but this conversation had already gone on too long. Any longer, and he might realize who she was.

"Don't worry about it. Whatever it is, I hope it gets better." She turned with a wave, leaving him to watch her go. And he did. She'd smelled familiar, like the scent of pine, and vanilla. Which he hadn't recalled smelling before, but still his senses were screaming as though he knew her. Which was impossible. There's no way he could. He would've known if he'd met a girl like her.

Still, she smelled of magic which meant she was, at the very least, not human. Never the less, he didn't want to worry about that. His only worry was the wolf. He hadn't seen her in nearly a month, and with fur as white as snow she couldn't possibly be able to camouflage in the dense greenery that surrounded Magnolia. Though, he bet she thrived in the winter. He worried that she had possibly been killed by a hunter. Those were common after all. Especially with the possibility of the wolf being a werewolf. The only difference between a were, and its counterpart was size.

This was especially true with wolves. Werewolves are abnormally large, and barely look anything like a natural-born wolf. Come to think of it, the wolf in the woods that night was rather large. At least larger than normal, but most of the ones he'd seen were much bigger. Though, she could have been a runt.

If she was a runt that was even worse. His anxiety skyrocketed as he rocked back and forth on the balls of his feet. He needed to move. He gave a grunt and trudged back toward the nest. He'd just check again tonight. Like he did every night.

----------------

Lucy's hands dug into the hard concrete of the dungeon she was currently locked in. It had to be this way after all. She didn't want to ruin her home like she had the first time she'd transformed. That had been an experience she didn't want to relive a second time. Below her, the solid foundation of the building began to crack, and a yowl ripped from her throat. It sounded like a mix between human agony and raging wolf.

It was several minutes of her bones cracking to break down her human form into something dangerous, and far more primal. When it was finally over, and her senses began to return to normal, she cautiously moved her limbs. Hind legs, front paws, neck, jaw. It was all in working order, and the blonde almost wanted to spend the rest of her evening laying on the cold concrete that had already begun to soothe her sore body.

However, she forced herself to her paws and began to bounce up and down to test the boundaries of her body. She wouldn't be running any time soon, but if she kept hidden it wouldn't be too risky to keep a slow trot to the clearing where she hoped he'd be waiting. Who knew at this point.

He could have stopped going by now. She also could have visited, but shifting took a lot out of her, and she normally spent a few days recovering in bed after. Pack work had to be done, but she also had a job at the library downtown.

A doctor's note easily allowed her to get the few days after the full moon off each month, but anything after that would be testing her luck. While she was ‘Lucky' Lucy Heartfilia she'd rather not test how far that went.

Claws raked on the metal door, causing a rather annoying screeching noise on the iron as it protested to the unfair treatment. Creeeeeeak. The door moved open at a steady, slow rate to reveal Michelle. Her cousin was also a hybrid like herself, but the human genes had won out in the end, and she'd yet to show any signs of being a werewolf. Although, from what Lucy had seen, Michelle had no problems with it.

Michelle bent down to a crouch to rub Lucy between the ears and make soft cooing noises. She was giggling with joy at the motion, and Lucy didn't put up a fight. Not that she wanted to, she quite liked the feel of hands in her fur and she even gave a low rumble of appreciation.

"Well, get along now. He won't be happy if you stay here for too long." Her voice echoed in Lucy's mind, and the wolf gave an angry snort before dipping her head and making her exit. Michelle wasn't wrong (which only infuriated Lucy more), but she was hoping that someday her father would lighten up a bit, and allow himself the opportunity to move past her mother's death. She knew for a fact that her mom wouldn't have wanted to see him become this… monster.

The grass was scratchy beneath her paws and even grazed her underbelly. She had to keep low to the ground that way she wouldn't draw attention, though it was easier said than done. She may be a runt, but she had the physique to match her werewolf genes, plus she was bigger than the average mutt.

She wasn't concerned, though she should be, considering this was her turf and she knew these woods like the back of her paw. Though, there was a small problem: the section without shrub to hide in. This was one she had to pass through to make it to the clearing that he would theoretically be waiting in. She hadn't been paying attention the first time she'd traveled to him, but now in her weakened state, she had to be careful.

The first time they'd met she'd already had time to brush off the transformation aches but having left immediately after she was still sore. Sure, she could escape if she needed to, but honestly, she didn't want to. If at all possible. Her ears twitched as a rustling came from her right. Hunters. She cursed internally because of course there would be hunters. Why the hell not. Every lean muscle in her body tensed as she pressed as far as she could into the ground.

This was dangerous, and she needed to be careful.

--------------------

Again. He waited under the cover of night. His form warped by the darkness to the point that if you looked he would appear to be a human by any other standard. His chin rest in his palm and his brows were scrunched in irritation. He'd waited for the wolf to grace him with her presence again, but it was day 30 and there was no sign of pale white fur. Feet tapped anxiously as he stared into the bark of the tree in front of him. His eyes glazed over as his mind wandered leaving his body an empty shell.

He would have stayed in that mindless trance had he not been snapped out of it. Bang! The metallic scent of blood crashed his senses making him think distinctly of pennies. That was neither here nor there. His mind switched immediately to defense as the crashing sound of footsteps echoed around him.

Branches breaking, leaves crunching, the collision of bodies. Whatever was bleeding was frantic, and whatever was chasing it had a partner. A partner it couldn't stop running into. Boy, was their teamwork bad.

He stood still as he waited to see exactly what was causing this kind of commotion in HIS woods. A flash of white caught his eye which caused a flutter of panic in his chest. That was impossible. Another shot fired, and the sound of a yelp! had him ready to run to the rescue.

She crashed to the ground, her breath labored, and a soft whimper leaving her body. They'd gotten her good, and if she managed to live her father would not be pleased. She urged her body to move, and somehow it complied. The calm didn't last as the sound of a small branch snapped beneath a heavy boot. A noise rose above the rest: growling. She wondered when exactly she'd began growling and it took her a moment to realize that she hadn't. That's when she realized exactly where she was. The Clearing.

Which meant to her left was the one person she'd never been happier to see. He'd waited for her. With the hunters distracted she leapt into the clearing and booked it to his side. She ignored screams of protest and the sound of cocking guns. She just needed to reach him. She slid to a stop behind him, her breath leaving her body in heavy spurts. Warmth spread through her entire body as his hand laid upon her head. It was urging her to rest. It was like he was saying, ‘Leave it to me.' And she did.

He never thought he'd be so MAD. Her beautiful fur was matted with blood from an injury on her backside, and her body shook with exhaustion. Wings extended from his back, and the original growl turned into a loud snarl which evolved until a roar was echoing for miles.

"Leave." He bellowed his command into the air. He was every bit Igneel's son, and damnit he was the Fire Dragon King's heir. They'd leave if they wanted to live. Guns clattered to the ground and with wild scrambling, the hunting pair took their abrupt departure. He huffed, blowing out a puff of smoke. These were his woods, his territory, and he'd be damn if someone attacked a friend in his presence.

Her body quivered next to his, and when he crouched down to check on her she shoved her muzzle against his face and rubbed furiously.

"Hey! Cut that out!" she didn't take him seriously as she watched him light up with laughter, and his mouth contorted into the same grin she'd seen the first time they'd met. She'd been worried. The expression he'd made when he'd ran off the hunters had made him look like a demon. It was someone she'd never seen, but also someone she knew he'd be unhappy to become. He'd looked like a king protecting his people.

Her whiskers tickled his cheek as she nuzzled him. She must've felt scared, which wasn't surprising all things considered. Then, he caught it. A soft scent just past the smell of pennies: Vanilla. His eyes widened, his mind flitting to her. The blonde who'd been a stranger. The one who checked to see if he was okay after his fight with Gajeel.

"You…?" he whispered. A howl sounded off in the night, the call to beckon her home. Just like before. A nod and the wolf was gone. A roar sounded off in the distance, his own call home, and he knew he'd have explaining to do.

--------------------

She stood, slowly, from her chair at the library. She'd been adamant about returning to her job even through her father's distress. It seemed like his only daughter almost dying had lit some kind of fire in him. He'd been more caring, and dare she think it, tender. Still, she wouldn't just sit, and wait for her wound to heal.

That'd be boring. Plus, she couldn't stop thinking about that night. The pink-haired man waiting under the moonlight, and how he'd saved her life. They wouldn't have killed her. No, they would have sold her.

She shuddered and gripped the book in her hand even tighter. Lately, she'd been having trouble controlling her strength so when it snapped in half she wasn't surprised. Even so, it would surely be docked from her pay.

"It seems weird for a librarian to be destroying a book. Aren't ya supposed to like those?" she recognized his voice easily. It was the same tone he used when they spoke in the woods the first night.

"You thought so too, huh?" she sighed, but set the destroyed book down on the cart beside her.

"Interested in anything?" she meant a book, obviously. The pinkette had something a little different in mind.

"You." He watched her body stop on a dime, and her cheeks exploded in the color red. A part of him wanted to chuckle and stroke her hair to calm her. The other part told him not to. Even if she was the wolf in the woods (he still wasn't sure) it wasn't likely she'd care for being treated like an animal.

"W-What do you mean?" her voice sputtered, but then evened out. Did he know? It was entirely possible, though she wasn't in the mindset to be playing this game. Fake it ‘till you make it. That was her motto.

"Nothing. I just saw ya from the window. We met a few days ago so I wanted to say ‘Hi'." It wasn't a lie, not entirely, but he wasn't prepared to try and out a werewolf even if it was an empty bookstore.

"Oh. Well then, hello, stranger." She teased, shelving another book into its rightful place. This was the tricky part, having to walk forward to the next section of literature without him noticing her wound.

"Stranger." He said it with a bitter aftertaste in his mouth, "What's your name?" if they exchanged names they would be acquaintances. Then, maybe the anger creeping into his chest might subside. She knew him and she'd heard his inner-most concerns. He'd saved her life. They were hardly strangers.

"Lucy. Lucy Heartfilia." She held out her hand to him, a soft gesture, hoping he'd take it. Then, perhaps they could be more than just the wolf and the dragon who met under the light of the full moon.

"My name is Natsu Dragneel." There. Acquaintances. Next step: friends. "Can I help?"

She considered his offer, maybe if he was elsewhere in the store she could maneuver with ease. Or at the very least she'd be able to keep her secret.

"Yes. That would be great." She smiled, soft and sweet. "The system is alphabetical." It was nothing special like the Dewey Decimal system.

"Got it." He grabbed a few hardcovers and stared at their titles before wandering off. She'd heard him whisper the letter ‘P' and that was at least two rows over. Now, she just needed to place the book she currently held in her hand. ‘Starlight', it was a children's book that her mother had read to her when she was a child. It detailed the story of a young girl with the power to control call upon the stars. It was her favorite. It was also, unfortunately, on the top shelf.

She grimaced but still pushed to the tip of her toes to push the book into its rightful place. The wound where the bullet had lodged deep into her hip was screaming in agony. She should have had him put it up. He was tall, probably? Her mind pictured him as she confirmed his height. She hadn't really been paying attention to his physical features due to her internal panic.

Move on, her mind urged. She agreed and switched to the next title. ‘Roses Be Damned'. This was supposed to be some classic, cheesy romcom and she couldn't wait to purchase it and let it consume her life for the next month. If it was good anyway. It was here, that Lucy made her mistake.

She shifted to the right accidentally bumping right into the heavy cart full of books. She let out a scream of pain as she toppled to the ground, holding her hip tightly as though that would help. As if the tighter she squeezed the less pain she would feel.

Natsu, two rows over, stared at the book in his hand. It was an informational guide on Werewolves. Now, while werewolves had outed themselves – for the most part – that didn't mean all of the packs had. It was more a pre-emptive strike than anything else. He should probably buy this book. He was making his way around the corner when the scream and clatter of books had him rushing.

There she was, lying sprawled across the floor with small whimpers leaving her lips. He cursed. He'd gotten complacent. Of course, there's no way she would have healed by now. Werewolves and Dragons were fundamentally different after all. While he wouldn't be slowed down by a bullet, she wasn't built as sturdy.

"Are you all right?" his voice sounded like it was miles away as her mind seemed shrouded by the pain her body was experiencing. Fuck. Maybe she should have stayed home. This was shaping up to be a great day already.

"Nnn." Her grunt seemed to be an affirmative but she still hadn't moved from her spot on the floor so he decided to take it with a grain of salt.

"Why are you pretending?" her entire body froze from its position on the ground.

"What do you mean?" she feigned ignorance for a moment. She couldn't allow him to figure her out so easily, though it would just be easier to come clean.

"Actin' like you're okay, but clearly you're not." She'd been scared when he asked the question. He wasn't entirely sure why she would be. Either she was scared of him, or someone else. It had to be a someone, not a something. He hoped so anyway.

She stared into the carpet as though it was the most interesting thing she'd ever seen. It wasn't. Lucy couldn't just avoid him forever but maybe she could feign passing out and deal with it later. No, that was a bad idea too. She cursed under her breath and gathered all of her courage to face him.

"I'd say you're right. I was in a sticky situation and got injured a few days ago." He knew that already. He was there. He saved her. It had taken a bit of time to find her though, in fact, he probably wouldn't have without Gajeel's girlfriend to help him out. Apparently, the girls were in the same pack. Now, that was a plot twist.

"I know. I saved ya didn't I." there wasn't a question; it was another statement. Yep, he knew. Would he be mad? First, he shares his secrets with her in the woods under the guise that she was a regular woodland creature. And then, she hides her identity and pretends they never met. Lucy regretted her train of thought because of course, he'd be mad. She'd be mad too if he had done the same thing. Ah, but he hadn't done it. She had.

"I should start with an ‘I'm sorry.'" She mumbled. His heightened hearing caught her words whereas a normal human would have experienced some difficulty. That was not helping him understand why she was sorry. There wasn't really anything to be sorry about, right?

"Why are ya apologizin'?" Theoretically, there shouldn't be a reason to apologize. Not unless she'd run rampant and telling the story of the dragon who didn't want to be king. That sounded like a shitty romance-drama movie waiting to happen.

"Well, you confided in me, and I didn't bother to tell you that I wasn't human." she felt bad about it. Rationally speaking, how could she have told him anything. Speaking was NOT a skill that wolves had. Mostly, it was that she never went back to that clearing – as a human – to explain herself.

"Ya realize wolves don't talk right?" he wasn't quite sure what she was feeling so guilty about. He wasn't mad. He'd shared a secret with a wolf on the night of the full moon. It wouldn't have surprised him in the least if it'd been a werewolf.

"Well, yes, but--" she sputtered to a stop as he interrupted her.

"No harm, no foul. I'm not mad about it. As long as ya didn't run around tellin' every damn person on the street about it, then who cares?" she cared. Obviously.

"It was still a betrayal of your trust! Let me make it up to you." she silently pleaded that he'd agree and just let her take him to lunch or something. The pinkette was uncomfortable. Again. His fingers raked through his hair, displacing the messy locks, and then he gave a groan of annoyance before nodding.

"Fine." he didn't elaborate, instead he placed his hands on his hips and waited. Lucy found herself drawn into his gaze. When they met she could've sworn they were the color of midnight, but in the day with the sun high in the sky, they were a dazzling green. To her, they equated to the vibrant journal decorated in white daisies that lived in her desk at home. It had reminded her of spring, and the same was true of his eyes.

"Hello?" he waved a hand in her face. She'd suddenly gone blank on him and while she could've been thinking of what to do to ‘make it up to him' – he got a distinct feeling that wasn't the case. He was caught in his own trance as well. She was definitely the wolf in the woods.

The second he looked into her eyes he knew. It was the same dark gold that he'd seen then, only this time the face staring back at him was a human's. The human was blonde, beautiful, and admittedly a little weird.

"What about lunch?" she blurted, as though she'd finally came back to reality.

"What about it?"

"Let me take you to lunch. To make it up to you." she elaborated for him, and honestly, he buzzed with excitement. He could eat any day, any time.

"Absolutely." no hesitation. Lucy's brow quirked in response.

"Well, then. Would now be a good time? I'm due for a break."

"I'm ready when you are." he held his hand out to her and she gladly took it. She'd need the support if she wanted to make it anywhere in the next millennia.

Eons ago I started a Vandy drabble for @reifromrfa (love you, boo!) and today I finally finished it lmao (can’t keep a schedule to save my life) Vanderwood is a (mostly) blank canvas, so I did what I could to paint him as I imagined him following the Secret Endings.

Drabble under the cut, hope you enjoy!

The RFA party was in full swing; glasses clinked, laughter rolled in from all directions, someone seemed to be shouting Tyrenol at the top of their lungs. What appeared to be an actual mummy shambled up to a vampire, who held his cape up in the most stereotypical fashion. Vanderwood wondered if this wasn't some elaborate prank developed by the members as some sort of test. They had the money, resources, and connections. Despite this, Saeyoung remained incredibly casual, clapping him on the back and saying, "If you want to leave early, give me a holler!"    

"What about your brother?"    

Saeyoung visibly brightened as his attention flickered over to Saeran, who was chuckling as Yoosung gestured wildly about something. The college kid had made fast friends with Saeran, much to everyone's surprise and relief. "Aw, he won’t be stranded. He’d hitch a ride with Yoosung or Zen."    

"He’s adjusting alright, then?"    

"Yeah. We’re taking it day by day, you know?" Saeyoung turned to face Vanderwood fully, warm expression shifting into something more playful, something that had Vanderwood instinctively bracing himself for. "What about you? Are you learning to enjoy yourself yet? Missing my company?" he added slyly with an over exaggerated wink.    

"It’s hard to miss you when I still talk to you through the messenger almost every day."    

Saeyoung waggled his eyebrows. "It's addicting, isn't it?"    

Rolling his eyes, Vanderwood said, "I'll admit, I assumed it was solely for party planning. I didn't expect everyone to be so laid back. The amount of selfies and cat photos that go through a single chat room is astonishing."   

"You know, that's what Jaehee said at first, too. But she has no problems with Zen's pics . . ." Saeyoung gave a hapless sigh and shrugged. "Well, what can you do if some people just don’t have the same love for cats as I do? Oh, hey!" He elbowed Vanderwood's side. "Look at who’s on her way over."    

It was the coy way Saeyoung said it that made him instantly alert. And sure enough, there you were, weaving through the throngs of people. A bright smile lit up your face when you caught his eye, near damning him with how much he hoped it was reserved for him. He stood taller and reached up to straighten his tie, feeling very much like he'd tazed himself.    

It occurred to him to meet you halfway too late. Your expression tightened into one of polite interest as a guest appeared in your path, and you cast an apologetic look over their shoulder. He lifted a hand in return, lips twitching with barely withheld disappointment as the guest led you away.    

"Oh." Saeyoung made a pleased hum.    

"What?" he groused, crossing his arms.    

"If I didn’t know any better," Saeyoung said, voice dropping as if he were sharing a deadly secret, "I’d bet my fastest baby that you like our precious coordinator."  

His heart stuttered. On instinct, he scoffed, shoving his hands into his pockets. "Of course I like her. Anyone who can deal with so many characters and still keep sane deserves my respect." Respect, admiration, half of my waking thoughts. God, what an understatement. He couldn't go half an hour without wanting to talk to you on the messenger, but then it was never enough. He wanted to hear your voice, your laugh. So much of his life had been spent lurking beneath the radar as a tool, was it so wrong for him to drift towards you when you offered such normalcy? When you went through hell and back for people you hardly knew, and kept Saeyoung from totally destroying himself in the process?    

And the fact that you reached out to him so often, asking after him, and, dare he assume, flirted with him.    

"Huh." That smug cat’s grin only widened, glasses glinting in the chandelier light. Jesus, the kid was too observant for his own good. "She is a great gal. But that isn’t how I meant it, and you know it," he sang, one arm resting over Vanderwood’s. "We’re friends, aren’t we?"    

"I’m almost insulted you have to ask."    

"So then, allow me to give you some advice. Straight from the mouth of God Seven himself." This time Saeyoung dipped his head, lifting a hand to cup his mouth to complete the charade of warding off eavesdroppers. "Go talk to her."    

"What." Vanderwood lifted his brows. "That’s it? No wild scheme or cat analogy?"    

Saeyoung chuckled, scooped up two passing glasses of wine, and held them out. "My messenger does wonders, but eventually you have to break that fourth wall yourself and talk face-to-face."    

Vanderwood took the glasses and frowned. "Fourth wall?"    

Saeyoung rolled his eyes, as if it were all painfully obvious. "I’m not a wizard. There are some things you should do yourself, instead of wishing for everything to turn out your way. You're free to make your own plan of action now, Madam."  

"I have no idea what you’re going on about now."    

"I'm saying move your leopard-print loving ass before someone else does."    

"You-" He was caught between chewing out Saeyoung over whatever the hell kind of insult that was and latching onto the last bit. Someone else. Was there someone else? He didn't know much about your life outside of the RFA. You had a job, you surely had friends and family outside this bubble he'd only just been introduced into. What if there was another person? A coworker? An actual partner? No, Saeyoung of all people would know that from the very first inspection of you.    

"You aren't getting any younger," Saeyoung sang.    

Vanderwood shot him an unimpressed look before inhaling deeply and strode forward.    

He was saved from awkwardly hovering until your conversation finished when he caught your eye approaching. You politely peeled yourself away from the group, meeting him halfway, shoulders sagging with relief. Maybe he’d saved you from an overwhelming interaction. A lot of the guests attending the party were . . . Abnormal, to say the least.    

"Vanderwood," you greeted, eyes wide, "I didn't expect to see you here tonight! I'm glad you came."    

The corners of his lips tugged upward. Be relaxed, don't freak her out. This wasn't the agency, she was a civilian. "Glad to be here. Drink?"    

He handed you the glass, admiring the effervescent glow dancing across your features. Since the events at that cult, Vanderwood had interacted with you almost solely through the app. Laying low while he and Saeyoung dealt with the aftermath of their disappearance from the agency had left little time for real talk.    But now here he was, and here you were dressed up and expressing genuine joy at his presence . . . Wow. "You look nice." Nailed it.    

"Well, thank you." Your eyes dipped to his chest. "You look dashing, yourself. Is purple your favorite color?"    

He pushed back his bangs, looking down at the purple and white ensemble with a little embarrassment. It held up to Saeyoung’s “keen” eye for fashion, and it wasn’t like he himself hadn’t had to attend a few parties for missions . . . "I don’t know if I have a favorite color, but I thought I’d save the leopard print suit for another time."    

You laughed behind your hand. "I’ll be looking forward to seeing it. I have a feeling the parties will only get bigger from here on out, so a leopard print suit will fit right in."    

"I should've known this wasn't even scratching the surface."    

"I mean, this is only my second party I've helped coordinate, and the first I actually attended, so . . . we're kind of in the same boat here."    

"I couldn't tell. You make it look easy."    

"Thanks. Good to know I don't look as nervous as I feel. It’s still a little much for me." You leaned back against the wall and gazed out at the crowd with a soft sigh. "But at least everyone is enjoying themselves."    

Vanderwood nodded, but there was a tenseness below the surface of your words. He knew stress intimately enough to recognize the tells. Swirling the contents of his glass, he said, "Maybe you should take a vacation after this. I think you’ve more than earned it, all things considered."    

"Hah, really?" You considered it for a moment. "I won’t lie, having a full night’s sleep without worrying for anyone’s safety or missing out on some important news sounds heavenly."    

"Is there any place you’ve thought about visiting?"    

You hummed, looking at the ceiling and cocking your head. "I think . . . anywhere warm and sunny will do. With a beach and a nice shopping district too." A warm smile bloomed across your face, releasing a swarm of butterflies right into his gut.    

He took a big sip of wine.    

"What about you? You’re planning a vacation soon, yeah?"    

"Somewhere without cellphone service."    

You laughed, shoulders rising as you did. "Oh man, that sounds good. Add that to my list too."    

Now he was sure it wasn’t the wine. The warmth in his cheeks was thanks to you. "We might end up at the same place if we aren’t careful."    

"Aw, that doesn’t sound too bad to me! If I were going somewhere with anyone, I would love for it to be you." Your eyes suddenly widened and you averted your gaze to the floor. That hadn’t meant to come out, then.    

Normally, he’d be more than willing to skim over slip ups for the other person’s sake. But the way you were fidgeting made him bold. At least he wasn't the only one nervous in this. "Me, huh? Why’s that?"    

You blinked, not quite meeting his eye but attempting to smile. "Oh, um, lots of reasons! Like, you’re neat so there probably wouldn’t be a scramble to find tickets or passports, ha. And then you’re pretty relaxed, so you would actually enjoy a vacation instead of using it as more time to work . . . Plus, getting to know each other away from the craziness . . . Um."    

He couldn't contain his amusement. "I'm neat?"    

You pressed your fingers to your forehead and groaned. "It’s a miracle I could get so many guests here, I know."    

"No, actually, the more I get to know you, the more I understand how you made such an impact on Saeyoung."    

"For real?" You peeked back at him again from the corner of your eye. He swallowed, heat creeping up his neck.    

With a blase shrug, he nodded. "Even when shit absolutely hit the fan, you kept your head. I've seen people break under pressure too many times to count, and usually take a few others with them, but you . . . Honestly, there were moments when I wondered if you weren’t an undercover agent with how well you dealt with it all."    

A shy little laugh bubbled from your lips. "Considering that I was running on nearly two weeks of no sleep?"    

He grinned. "A hallmark trait of agents."    

"Is that so? And here I was thinking Saeyoung was an outlier."    

"I think we can agree that he's still an outlier."    

A brief laugh at Saeyoung’s expense and then the conversation ebbed. Damn it, what now? He tugged at his cuffs, scanning the room to find something else to go on about. More than a few sets of eyes were settled on you . . . and him by proximity. These guests were just as nosy as Saeyoung, but at least the kid knew when not to be so goddamn obvious about it!    

A hand settling on his arm, snapping him from a glower. "Hey, would you want to step out for a second?" you whispered. "I need a break."   

"Um . . . Yes?" He cleared his throat. "I mean, yeah lead the way."    

Your hand slipped into his, and it was like a jolt of electricity went through his heart. He lagged behind for a second in shock before quickly falling into step with you. The smile that bloomed on your face was one he wanted to imprint in his head, so every time he closed his eyes it would be all he saw.    

You led him down the corridor to a set of doors that, when he opened, revealed a lounging area with floor-to-ceiling windows, plush seating, and a chandelier practically the size of the moon. He couldn’t believe he never thought twice about the RFA and their parties, that Saeyoung would be part of something so grand.    

And now he was part of it, too. With you.    

Your eyes glittered. "Gotta hand it to Jumin, he doesn’t skimp on anything."    

"He does seem like the type to go above and beyond." He let out a low whistle at the skyline view.    

"Gleaned that from his cat projects?" you joked, closing the doors.    

"My heart aches for Assistant Kang."   

You plopped down on the loveseat, toeing off your shoes with a relieved sigh and set your drink onto the end table. "I don’t know how she does it. So, um, are you alright?"    

"Me?" Well, if you kept staring at him like that he wouldn't be. He settled next to you, an arm's length away. "What do you mean?"    

"You were looking kind of flushed back there, I get if you're not used to being . . . in the spotlight."    

"Yeah, ha. I'm more of a private sort of person." But that wasn’t the only reason he was flustered . . .     

"So then you're probably careful about who you spend your time with, huh?"    

"That's true, but I don't completely shut people out."    

"I hope I'm not one of those people."    

He blinked. "You most certainly are not. I consider you someone who I can open up to, actually." He turned, draping his arm over the back of the couch. "You're someone who I want to know."     

Your lips parted in surprise for a beat, as if you hadn't expected such candor. But your voice was even as you said, "I'd love to know you, too. Who is the real Vanderwood? How's he take his coffee, if at all?"    

Tilting his head, he lifted his brows. "That's some pretty intimate stuff. Are you sure you can handle it? Wouldn't want to scare you off."    

He was rewarded with another bought of laughter from you.    

"I have a feeling I can handle whatever you throw my way, Vanderwood. Coffee preferences or otherwise."    

"Huh, then you wouldn't be opposed to getting drinks together?"    

"Nothing would make me happier."     

A sharp rap at the door had Vanderwood practically jumping to his feet, heart in his throat and fingers fumbling at his waist for his Tazer. In the time it was taking him to pull back into reality, to remember that this was a party and not a mission, you swept past him with a reassuring brush of the shoulder that grounded him. He dropped his hand, face burning.    

You opened the door without hesitation, pleasant and polite as you greeted the nondescript woman. None of the flirtiness from before. The woman was quick as she spoke, informing you that your presence was required in the closing ceremony, then she was gone again.

When you turned back around, you slumped like a puppet with slackened strings. "Well, back into the fray," you sighed, returning to step back into your shoes with a half-grimace. You took his offered arm to balance with.

"You're the star of the show, they would've caught us eventually," he said, trying to make light of the disappointment settling in his gut. 

"Star of the show is a little much," you quipped, "more like I'm one leg of the table."

He snorted. "Sure. A very desirable table leg."

You crinkled your nose. "Was that a compliment? We may have to work on those before getting drinks."

"Gladly." 

"Hey . . ." Your hand lightly squeezed his bicep, and even with a layer separating your skin from his, the touch sent electricity coursing through his veins. God, he was really in deep, wasn't he? "Thanks for keeping me company tonight."   

"I feel like I should be thanking you, though. For giving me a chance to be me." He outwardly cringed. "Jesus, I'm not this cheesy, am I?"    

"Hey, I for one am ready to accept the real you, cheesy lines, weird compliments, and all."

He chuckled, pulling you closer to his side. "Let's get you back before Saeyoung starts any rumors."

❤ Daddy ❤

Don’t take the title in a dirty way lmao this is an imagine xD

Okay, so, here’s my first imagine on here! I hope you like and please tell me what you think(: I love to read your comments! <3 Just to inform you: I’m gonna post a picture of the boys of how they look in the smut/imagine all the time <3 

Here’s how Taeil looks in this! /dies/ : 

It’s been a whole year since you and Taeil first declared your love for each other and made the decision to become a couple. Everything was going great; you were happy, living in an apartment together. Your relationship with Taeil had started out to be difficult because he would always be off to work in his studio, working on songs with his bandmembers. You were okay though, you loved Taeil more than you’ve ever loved anyone in your whole life. But it was a bit difficult saying goodbye to him and ‘see you tonight’ since he would most likely first be at home at around evening.

You also knew that if you had time off from your school work, you could go and visit him. It was quite fascinating, watching him work, seeing him try out new tunes with the members and writing down lyrics. He’s said that knowing you were there gave him some sort of peace and harmony with his work.

Everything was as it should be, until one specific morning when you woke up feeling the most nauseous you’ve ever felt in many years. You stormed out into the bathroom and disposed the dinner you had yesterday into the toilet. You had just finished and were now resting your head in front of the toilet in case more should come, when a rather confused and flustered Taeil running into the bathroom, looking completely distraught with his hair pointing in kinds of directions. It would have been amusing to you, if it wasn’t because you felt like vomiting any minute.

“Babe?! What’s wrong? Are you okay?” He hurried over to you, still looking tired, but worried nonetheless. You gave him a weak smile.

“I’m okay,” you replied weakly. “Sort of.” He hugged you and you placed your head on his shoulder.

“Do you want me to stay home and look after you?” He suggested softly, but you shook your head.

“It’s okay, it’s nothing to worry about. Honestly,” you said, taking in a deep breath to try and stabilize your stomach. You looked up at him and smiled at him. He didn’t look convinced.

“But baby… you’re not feeling well! I can’t leave you like this. I’m sure the members would understand if I stayed home to look after you,” you let out a breathy giggle.

“Please, don’t worry about me, if anything happens, I’ll give you a call, okay?” You suggested, and he sighed, surrendering.

“Okay, but you promise you’ll call me, okay?!” he said and pointed his finger at you as he slowly let go of you. You again let out a breathy chuckle and nodded.

“I promise, baby. Now go, I can manage, okay?” You promised and waved your hand at him, signaling for him to go. It took some time before he finally left and left you to your own. You took a deep breath again and tried to stand up slowly.  When you had succeeded, you leaned over the sink and looked at you reflection. You looked awful. Hair a mess, eyes droopy, face pale, and body shaking slightly. You sighed and started to brush your teeth to try and get rid of the horrible taste in your mouth. When you were done, you dragged yourself out into the kitchen and looked through the cupboards for some toast you could roast.

While roasting the bread, you went through your brain to think about any possible reason that could make you feel nauseous. You didn’t have any thought as to why, so you just sat be the kitchen table and ate the roasted bread with some strawberry jam.

An idea suddenly struck your head and you dropped the bread onto the plate. You sat completely paralyzed for a good two minutes before you really started to panic. You started hyperventilation and anxiety filled you.

Could that seriously be possible?! You had to find out, so you quickly put the plate in the sink, put the jam into the fridge and then grabbed your bag and jacket, went out the apartment, and towards the nearest shop.

A few moments later you sat by the sink with your head in your hands with you heart beating violently in your chest. You hoped for the best, but still you couldn’t help but to expect the worst. After the time had passed, as the package said, you stood up and checked the 5 pregnancy tests you had taken.

Sure enough, the worst you had expected, happened. You were pregnant. All 5 tests were positive. You stood completely speechless, looking at the two lines on each of the tests and felt as if they were judging you for not wearing a condom that one time. You felt like you had done something terribly wrong. You didn’t know, but you couldn’t help but feel the disappointment he’d show when you would tell him. You could practically see the sadness on his face, and you could hear him say: “We can’t keep the baby… what wouldn’t everybody think? We aren’t married. It will never work.”

You felt tears prick the corners of your eyes. If Taeil didn’t approve of this baby, what would you possibly do? One thing was certain, you didn’t want to rid of the baby, but the reactions Taeil might show, killed you inside. You hid the tests inside your closet, among your clothes and slumped down on your bed and began crying. You cried your heart out until there weren’t any tears left to cry. You stood up from the bed and went to stand in front of your mirror. Slowly you lifted your shirt and put both of your hands on your stomach. Right there inside your stomach, grew your baby. Taeil’s baby. The thought of having a little Taeil running around the apartment happily with Taeil chasing him made you cry once more. It was such a beautiful image. Such a precious thought that you never wanted to get rid of. The thought of Taeil holding your newborn baby, while swaying it from side to side with a smile, made your heart swell so much you thought you were going to combust.

You sat down in front of the mirror still with your hands on your stomach and smiled softly. “Hey there, little baby, I’ve just found out that you’re in there. Don’t worry, mommy’s happy to have you there, but I don’t know if daddy will be… he doesn’t know yet. I hope daddy will accept you and love you the same way mommy does.”

While speaking to your baby, you didn’t realize tears fell from your eyes again and how they didn’t seem to stop. You really loved this baby, and you wished with all your heart that Taeil would too. When you continued to think about the little family you would have, you began to fully cry with sobbing and hiccupping. A thought struck your head and you suddenly remembered something your own mom told you once. The baby can feel the same emotions you do. You tried your hardest to make yourself stop crying, since you didn’t want anything bad to happen to the baby. You took a lot of deep breaths and after 15 minutes max, you finally calmed down and sat up. It would probably be a good idea to tell Taeil. Better now than later. Anxiety went through you as you thought this, but you forced yourself to stop. So now you were packing a bag with the 5 tests and got dressed, putting on your shoes and jacket and then you were off to the studio.

Standing in front of the door to Taeil and his bandmate’s studio made cold-sweat form on your forehead. How were you going to tell him? Well, you guess you just had to take it as it comes and just try to be relaxed.

You turned the door knob and went inside. Inside sat all the members of NCT 127 around the table, while some was standing, with a lot of papers scattered around them and on the table in the middle. When you entered, they all looked at you and a bright smile spread across their faces. They all greeted you and went up to hug you. It was nice get these hugs, it kind of relaxed you and soothed you so it didn’t seem hard to tell Taeil this.

Taeil came out from the group with a loving smile, and you gulped here he is.

“Hey baby, are you feeling better?” He asked worriedly. The thought that ‘feeling better’ meant that you were pregnant, made you nervous again.

“Yes! I-I am,” fuck. You stuttered. You coughed and looked down. This is way more difficult than you thought, but you couldn’t back out now. You had to tell him now or you never would until it was too late.

This is it.

“Taeil honey… there’s something I have to tell you,” you started out shakily and looked up at him anxiety lacing in your voice. Taeil’s smile faded when he heard your tone and he got a concerned expression on his face.

“What is it, darling?” he still stood his ground and didn’t come over to you, which kind of made you happy, because you had to get yourself together and tell him this.

“Well… you remember how I was feeling sick this morning, right?” he nodded, and you continued taking a deep breath. “I did some thinking about i-it and a crazy idea struck me… I then went to-to see if that idea wa-as true... It was, and I thought I had to tell you, since you’re probably curious a-and worrie-ed” Another deep breath. The members were looking intensely at the two of you, but you only had your eyes on Taeil, you couldn’t get distracted now. He nodded his head slowly, taking in all the words you said. Another deep breath and you opened your bag, getting hold of the tests. Before you took them out, you closed your eyes, ‘he’s going to know now...’

“We-well, I hope this answers your curiosity…” you finished and took the tests. You heard a few gasps from the members, but Taeil was still clueless. You were happy they didn’t say anything; this was yours and Taeil’s big moment.

“Two lines means positive…” you added, and you handed them to him. He looked at them confused, but then his eyes dilated and his mouth stood agape. He looked up at you with a confused, yet happy, expression.

“Is-is this?...” he started out, and you nodded, a smile playing along your lips. “This? Is preg-pregnancy tests?!” His voice went up an octave at the end of the sentence.

“Yes, they are,” you giggled now. He looked happy. “You’re gonna be a daddy, Taeil.” A wide grin spread across his face and his eyes dilated even more. He stood there silent for a while, but:

Then it came.

He let out a happy screech and ran over to you and lifted you up, swinging you around. You laughed happily with him.

The members also cheered and celebrated.

Mark yelled: “We’re gonna be uncles!!” and clapped happily and Johnny butted in and they jumped around.

Doyoung and Taeyong began crying and had to sit down.

Yuta and WinWin were completely gobsmacked as to what was going on, but bright smiles were on their faces due to the fact Taeil, you, and everyone else were happy.

Jaehyun was so cute, rolling around on the couch, giggling like a child.

Haechan though. Haechan was screeching very loudly and jumped around the room, while yelling: “it finally happened!!!”

Taeil finally put you down and kissed you all over the face and then kissed you passionately on the lips. You began crying by the fact that Taeil wasn’t mad or upset about the fact he was going to be a dad.

“You’re not upset?” You sniffed and giggled. Taeil laughed.

“Upset? No! I’m the happiest guy on earth. I’m gonna be a dad to our child!” he laughed happily, and his eyes shone so much, you felt like crying even more.

“Thank goodness, I thought you would be mad,” you sniffed and dried your eyes while laughing. Taeil shook his head disapprovingly with a smile.

In the back the members were still cheering, and one sentence caught your ears and you began laughing hysterically: “LETS GET WASTED!” Taeil shook his head disapprovingly even more and even groaned and yelled back: “You’re not old enough, Haechan!” a groan was then heard and laughter too.

Taeil looked at you again and smiled widely. Then he did something unexpected that made your heart melt. Taeil went down on his knees, lifted your shirt, gave it a loving kiss, and said:

“I’m going to take such good care of you, little one. Daddy loves you so dearly.”

can you do "Seeing Beren grimace at his suggestion" to the end, from your Beren at the ruin of Doriath tumblr fic?

this is from the fic dvd commentary meme that i reblogged like a month and a half ago. andie was the only person to send a prompt and then i went to brazil and never responded gkjhaldskjghg so here you go, thank u for your patience my friend

the fic in question is a WIP excerpt that I posted on tumblr here. its working title on my computer is “Last Fight” (‘This ford the Dwarves must pass ere they reached the mountain passes that led unto their homes; and there Beren fought his last fight, warned of their approach by Melian’). I started this story back in ye olde wankier days of 2013, and haven’t added significantly to it since then, though i would theoretically like to finish it someday x_x I’d been stanning Beren for a while by then, in response to some fan interpretations that i found unfair. In late 2013, me and a couple of my friends were low-key feuding with another small group of fans about various topics (Feanorians vs. literally anyone else, Noldor vs. Sindar, King’s Men vs. Faithful, you name it) and somehow the cool new debate became Dwarves vs. Doriathrim. For a while there was some arguing back and forth in meta and reblogs about who exactly was more at fault in the whole Thingol-Dwarves-First Sack of Doriath fiasco. 

i’ll spare you the details of the wider debate, but Beren inevitably got drawn into the arguments because of his role in ambushing the dwarven army on their way back to Nogrod, where he and some Green-elves killed nearly everyone who had participated in the attack on Doriath. the specific issue that prompted me to write this snippet of fic was the question of whether or not Beren, having killed all these Dwarves who were not working for Morgoth or coming to attack him personally, should have been able to hold a Silmaril without getting burned. by that point I was pretty tired of trying to argue that attacking multiple civilian settlements because someone took your dad’s jewelry is not morally equivalent to ambushing an army that just came from attacking a civilian settlement, and instead decided to write a fic that solved the question by simply not having Beren touch the Silmaril because it freaks him out (which has been my headcanon for a while since he’s canonically the only person who keeps getting a Silmaril and immediately handing it off to someone else). He just picks the Nauglamir up by the necklace part and brings it home and gives it to Luthien. It seems a bit silly now but that was my initial motivation. 

i was also intrigued by the way the Green-elves, or at least the ones who associate closely with Beren and Luthien, seem to have no interest in the Silmaril for either magical or political reasons - they simply bring it to Dior when B&L die. I wanted to emphasize the fact that the Green-elves have different priorities than pretty much everyone else when it comes to material possessions; their lifestyle and culture doesn’t particularly value treasure or physical permanence (i think there’s a line in the Silm about how their settlements can be to quickly and thoroughly hidden that the Beorians don’t even notice that there are people living there when they first enter Ossiriand). Also I believe there’s a line in the Silm or somewhere about all the treasure (except the Silmaril) getting thrown into the river, and maybe also about it being cursed. The Green-elves don’t seem like people who would take any chances with stuff like that, and they’re not super into shiny things regardless, so it would be an easy call for them i think. 

Almwë is an OC i originally created for the fic Inheritance, which features flashbacks to Dior’s childhood in Ossiriand. In my headcanon, Nimloth’s father is from Doriath and her mother is from Ossiriand. Though she grew up in Doriath, Nimloth often visited her mother’s family and has a strong connection to that part of her heritage. Almwë is Nimloth’s mother’s older brother, and a chieftain of sorts among the elves of southern Ossiriand, where Beren and Luthien live (i know you’ve already read this Andie but if anyone else is curious, I wrote a bunch of headcanons about the political and social structure of Ossiriand here). I wanted to further explore Beren and Luthien’s connection to the Green-elves with this fic, and Beren’s relationship with Almwë was one way to do that. 

The last full paragraph, where Beren thinks about his relatives....well, i’m weak for Beren thinking about his relatives. that’s always been one of fandom’s weakness when it comes to writing/discussing Beren, i think - his story is one of overcoming tremendous obstacles and immense trauma and building a future for himself despite losing everyone and everything he cared about, and his memories of his family are just as important to his story as his relationship with Luthien. i don’t think the profound emptiness and grief that comes from losing his entire culture every fully leave him. 

and there aren’t a lot of depictions of old Beren, not even in the Legendarium - the battle at Sarn Athrad is one of the only real stories we have about him after he and Luthien go to Tol Galen. I think Beren loves living there, and that he fits in pretty well with the Green-elves and has friends among them, but it’s still a weird feeling to grow old among all these elves with only his own sort-of mortal family members for company. i think aging would make him think about his family even more, and remember the things they told him about growing older (since he has no one around now who’s gone through those experiences before him), and i think it would make him miss them in a new way. but i also think he’s able to remember them with happiness, and that even though there is bitterness and regret in him still, he knows his family would rather he survive and be happy than die with them or out of grief for them. there was also plenty of criticism of B/L going around in those days about how they didn’t “deserve” their “happy” ending (lmao) and while i think that’s garbage obviously, their ending is ultimately pretty bittersweet, and i wanted to convey that too, with old Beren being dragged back into war when he’d hoped to live the rest of his days in peace, and always living with the horrors of his past. 

1-100 please! And have a good day! :)

Holy CRAP! THANK YOU! Seriously, you can PM me your url if you want some asks sent your way! You’re too kind :)

1. Is a kiss considered cheating? Yeah, I think so. I’m pretty much uncomfortable with hand-holding or long hugs/cuddly with anyone but my SO. I’ve tolerated it before for friends who are going through stuff, but I really enjoy personal space. I would be pretty uncomfortable if Marty did anything cuddly with someone else, too. Kissing is pretty over-the-line for me.

2. Have you ever faked an orgasm? Hasn’t everyone? Yes, I have.

3. If you could have one superpower, what would it be? Deafness at will?Like the ability to create total silence. I get overwhelmed pretty easily, and I hate a lot of noises, so it’d be nice to shut it out sometimes!

4. Do you think you are going to be rich in 7-8-9 years? Absolutely not!

5. Tell us some funny drunk story. I don’t drink, sorry!

6. Why are you no longer together with your ex? He was a douche and was only interested in me for sex. Which was super gross because he was a lot older than me.

7. If you had to choose one way to die, what would it be? Old age. Painless.

8. What are your current goals? I have a ton of goals right now!!! I want to get a cartilage piercing, I want to lose weight, I want to get straight A’s, I want to get a tattoo I want to make new friends, I want to become more involved with my religion, I want to save up for my gap year between undergrad and grad school, and I want to make the most of my time between now and when I graduate!

9. Do you like someone? Been dating the love of my life for almost three years!

10. Who was the last person to disappoint you? I’m trying not to hold grudges about it. It’s already in the past!

11. Do you like your body? Sometimes! I’m a lot less mean to myself than I used to be.

12. Can you keep a diet? I’ve never dieted! I’m good at eating well, though!

13. If the whole world listened to you right now, what would you say? I’d agonize over it for a long time, but I’d draft a speech on how important knowledge is and try to talk about acceptance and stuff. The political scene is rough right now.

14. Do you work? Yep! I’m a paid intern at school for English, and I’m a carpenter over the summers!

15. If you could choose only one food to eat to the rest of your life, what would it be? Does the entire genre of “vegetables” count? If I had to pick one... Maybe broccoli? I really like tomatoes, too.

16. Would you get a tattoo? Yep! I want to get an Italian worker bee on my left wrist.

17. Something you don’t mind spending all your money on? My education!

18. Can you drive? No. My anxiety is pretty easy to hide, but it’s been pretty crippling, too. I wish I could do normal things.

19. When was the last time someone told you that you were beautiful? Today! I was really self-conscious at the beach, but my boyfriend was lovely and texted me encouragement!

20. What was the last thing you cried for? My grandfather who passed away a few years ago.

21. Do you keep a journal? Sort of! I don’t have time to journal or to even write stories on their own, but my planner acts as my journal. It’s one of the most treasured things I own.

22. Is life fun? Absolutely!

23. Is farting in front of people irrelevant? I think farting in public is gross and disrespectful, but in private with people you know is totally fine.

24. What’s your dream car? Convertible VW bug!

25. Are grades in school important? No, as long as you’re learning! In my experience, though, when I’m learning, my grades are good. When I’m not learning, they’re not. But that isn’t the case with everyone!

26. Describe your crush. Dorky, cute, kind. My best friend.

27. What was the last book/movie that really impressed you? A Book of Bees by Sue Hubbell and Hidden Figures!

28. What was your last lie? “No worries!”

29. Dumbest lie you ever told? Any time I told some wildly untrue story in my youth to seem interesting.

30. Is crying in front of people embarrassing? YES.

31. Something you did and you are proud of? I’ve had straight A’s two semesters in a row, I’m publishing multiple articles in TWO journals with my school, and I’m in the Honors program at my university!

32. What’s your favorite cocktail? I don’t drink!

33. Something you are good at? Critical analysis of language!

34. Do you like small kids? Well enough!

35. How are you feeling right now? I’m really tired.

36. What would you name your daughter/son? Noelle/Phillip. Both named after family members.

37. What do you need to be happy? Marty, a good book, a comfy bed, and a job at a university!

38. Is there some you want to punch in the face right now? At any given moment, I’m ready to punch two specific people in the face.

39. What was the last gift you received? My dad got me a bunch of patches for my bag!

40. What was the last gift you gave? I can’t even remember. It was probably for Marty.

41. What was the last concert you went to? Probably Sara Bareilles!

42. Favourite place to shop at? I like stores like Target! I also like Francesca’s.

43. Who inspires you? My mom and my first professor.

44. How old were you when you first got drunk? N/A

45. How old were you when you first got high? N/A

46. How old were you when you first had sex? 19

47. When was your first kiss? My senior year of high school

48. Something you want to do until the end of this year? I have a workout, meal, and overall points plan!

49. Is there something in the past you wish you hadn’t done? I wish I’d taken my English classes more seriously in high school.

50. Post a selfie. I’m horrible at taking pictures. I’m pretty much exactly like this emoji: (ง°ل͜°)ง

51. Who are you most comfortable around? Marty!

52. Name one thing that terrifies you. UNCERTAINTY.

53. What kind of books do you read? Realistic fiction and creative nonfiction. I don’t have a lot of tolerance for ridiculously fictitious stories anymore.

54. What would you tell your 12-year-old self? Life is going to get hard. Learn how to cope with it sooner. Ask your mom for a fucking therapist.

55. What is your favorite flower? Purple coneflowers have had my heart for years, but a lot of bee-friendly flowers have been growing on me.

56. Any bad habits you have? Maybe it’s not a habit more than it is a symptom, but I scratch at my ears until they bleed and clean them until the protective layer of wax is gone and they get infected. Not fun :(

57. What kind of people are you attracted to? Low-maintenance, low-drama dorks.

58. What was the last thing you cried for? I didn’t even notice this was on here twice when I reblogged it.

59. Is there something you don’t eat? Some food that truly disgusts you? I really hate hot fruit and mushy hot vegetables.

60. Are you in love? Yes!

61. Something you find romantic? Laughing together! And cuddling :)

62. How long was your longest relationship? My current one! Almost three years!

63. What are 3 things that irritate you about the same sex? These seem pretty heavily based on stereotypes. Three things that irritate me about PEOPLE are 1. over-dramatic, 2. little to no forethought about most things, 3. UNWILLING TO SOLVE THEIR OWN PROBLEMS THROUGH SIMPLE COMMUNICATION.

64. What are 3 things that irritate you about the opposite sex? See above.

65. What are you saving money for? New apartment things! Cork board, rice steamer, etc.

66. How would you describe your bad side? Stubborn, holds grudges, easily irritated.

67. Are you actually a good person? Why? I think I’m trying really hard to be a good person. I still have a lot of really selfish habits and mindsets, but (weirdly enough) my experiences with religion have helped me change them.

68. What are you living for? My lovely SO and my passion for English and higher education!

69. Have you ever done anything illegal? Nope!

70. Do you like your body? See above? I guess?

71. Have you ever made someone feel bad about themselves intentionally? No, I don’t think so.

72. Ever sent nudes? Nah. The NSA doesn’t need to see anything but my fully-clothed body.

73. Have you ever cheated on someone? ABSOLUTELY NOT.

74. Favourite candy? I really like Butterfingers! And Hostess mini powdered donuts, if those count as candy.

75. Is there a blog you visit every day, or almost every day? Tag it! @barry-bluejeans - I love all that sweet taz content. There are some other taz blogs, too, but I really love this one.

76. Do you play any computer games? What is your favorite game? Starbound, right now! I also adore Stardew Valley.

77. Favorite TV series? I love Brooklyn 99 and Parks and Rec.

78. Are you religious? Does God exist? Uh, yeah! I think I am? I recently got introduced to a really open branch of religion and I’ve been learning a lot. I don’t think there’s a man in the sky who knows everything. I think God is a limited entity that exists in the interactions between people? Like... I don’t know. God is the forgiveness between two people for the initial awkwardness of conversation. God is the need for letting grudges go quickly out of personal growth, not out of charity for the other person. God is the overwhelming sense of calmness we get when we’re out in the quiet of nature. God is the ever-expanding universe getting to know itself, if that makes sense? I dunno. I’m still a little embarrassed about religion, but I really like to explore it in writing lmao.

79. What was the last book you read? Did it impress you and why? A Book of Bees! YES! It was so poetic and peaceful! My copy even had grammatical errors and typos, but I still thoroughly enjoyed the book!!!

80. What do you think about vegetarianism/veganism? Extremely admirable, especially when it’s in protest of the current meat industry.

81. How long have you been on Tumblr? Since my sophomore year of high school, though I’ve deleted a few times to start over.

82. Do you like Chinese food? YES!

83. McDonalds or Subway? Subway, I guess? These are both kind of bad options.

84. Vodka or whiskey? I don’t drink...

85. Alcohol or drugs? Neither... Although I would choose pretty much anything over drugs.

86. Ever been out of your province/state/country? Been out of state, but not out of country (YET!)

87. Meaning behind your blog name? It started out as a vent blog. I deal with a lot of things through humor, so a lot of my reactions to sad relatable posts would be to laugh and then cringe.

89. What are you scared of? Still uncertainty! Also not a big fan of heights.

90. Last time you were insulted? This idiot from school said that I was a bad friend, that my best friend was in love with me, and that my boyfriend was probably cheating on me.

91. Most traumatic experience? It happened a long time ago, I’d rather not answer.

92. Perfect date idea? Cuddling at home! Or going to a museum!

93. Favorite app on your phone? My smartpen’s app! Or garage band!

94. What color are the walls in your room? Green!

95. Do you watch YouTube? Who is your favorite YouTuber? I watch some youtube. I like Animal Wonders Montana and Dollightful!

96. Share your favorite quote. As a word person, I have a lot of favorite quotes, but right now it is the following: “Some beekeepers recommend continuous feeding of all hives in the springtime, arguing that a steady supply of sugar syrup tricks the colony into believing there is nectar flow in progress, which stimulates the queen to lay a greater number of eggs than she normally would. I have tried it but find it unsatisfactory, and have concluded that it is impossible to trick bees. They know their world better than I do.” -Sue Hubbell. There are so many from this book that I adore but this one is one of my favorites.

97. What is the meaning of life? A good book on a beach with the one you love.

98. Do you like horror movies? Yeah, I guess! In small doses.

99. Have you ever made your mum cry? What happened? Probably loads of times in high school. She was terrified that I was never going to get my act together.

100. Do you feel lucky or special in a way? I’m very lucky to have wonderful parents, a perfect monogamous boyfriend, and a passion that I’m good at!

101. Can you keep a secret? I feel like I misnumbered these somehow. Also, some of these are repeats, so fuck it. I’m doing 101. Yes, I can keep a secret, but not from Marty. Thankfully, Marty can also keep a secret.