zoology is so fucking funny. what do you mean we’ve never seen a baby great white shark. what do you mean we’ve never documented a single melanistic cougar despite it being entirely possible. I dunno man. Anyways a new amphipod was just discovered 92639273947294729 meters beneath the sea

This is insane

COVERED IN DIRT SATURDAY

To The Person Who Walked Past The Window - Jordan Bolton

My first book ‘Blue Sky Through the Window of a Moving Car’ is now available to pre-order! Get it here - https://smarturl.it/BlueSky

You act so unemployed for someone who is employed

this has to be my favorite insult i have received on this app

alaskazoo on ig

this is one of my favorite reddit posts of all time

Discord scam

I think this scam has been going around on Discord (and also Steam?) for a few months, but I was just DMed by someone I haven't talked to in about a year, and their account had clearly been hacked, so I wanted to share some screenshots.

This is the message they sent me:

And here is the image:

Which. Instantly suspicious in so many ways that I can't even name them all, and I said it sounded like a scam, but I wanted to see what this clintsmithsupport19 would say, so I popped over and talked to him. The sneaky thing here is that Clint Smith is the actual Chief Legal Officer for Discord, and they use his photo for their pfp. His profile even has a fancy looking little 'badge' like so:

But if you right-click on the badge...

Oh look, just an emoji.

'Clint' went on about how this was a 'serious federal case' and I only had two hours to comply or my account would be deleted, etc. so don't let these fuckers scare you into giving up personal info.

Obviously, I reported and blocked both the hacked account and good ol' Clint.

Anyway, I hope this helps someone.

Guys it happened. I got called a shotacon by someone because I like chilchuck. People who don’t watch dungeon meshi think he’s a young teen.

A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, “My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?” The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound. The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, “We can’t tell you. You’re not a monk.” The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway and goes about his merry way. Some years later, the same man breaks down in front of the same monastery. The monks accept him, feed him, even fix his car. That night, he hears the same strange noise that he had heard years earlier. The next morning, he asks what it is, but the monks reply, “We can’t tell you. You’re not a monk.” The man says, “All right, all right. I’m *dying* to know. If the only way I can find out what that sound was is to become a monk, how do I become a monk?” The monks reply, “You must travel the earth and tell us how many blades of grass there are and the exact number of sand pebbles. When you find these numbers, you will become a monk.” The man sets about his task. Forty-five years later, he returns and knocks on the door of the monastery. He says, “I have traveled the earth and have found what you have asked for. There are 145,236,284,232 blades of grass and 231,281,219,999,129,382 sand pebbles on the earth.” The monks reply, “Congratulations. You are now a monk. We shall now show you the way to the sound.” The monks lead the man to a wooden door, where the head monk says, “The sound is right behind that door.” The man reaches for the knob, but the door is locked. He says, “Real funny. May I have the key?” The monks give him the key, and he opens the door. Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone. The man demands the key to the stone door. The monks give him the key, and he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby. He demands another key from the monks, who provide it. Behind that door is another door, this one made of sapphire. So it went until the man had gone through doors of emerald, silver, topaz, and amethyst. Finally, the monks say, “This is the last key to the last door.” The man is relieved to no end. He unlocks the door, turns the knob, and behind that door he is amazed to find the source of that strange sound. But I can’t tell you what it is because you’re not a monk

Three years back, I created 13 alternate accounts on Discord and inserted them into my friend group over the course of a few months, pretending each of them was a new person. They have their own personality and typing / grammar distinctions, and their own fake life events and stories that I've had to keep meticulous track of. Some of them even engaged romantically with real people, though none in the present day. Nowadays the original friend group is split up, with some fake people being present in about each server that still has some kind of connection to the former group. One active group chat even has six alts and one real person. I literally have to keep this up like a puppetmaster because these pretend people have real, important connections to people I still care about. It's hard but I literally don't know how to resolve or change the situation without causing a wave of dispair and destruction in one way or another.

.

“if somebody becomes panicked when you accuse them of lying theyre obviously not telling the truth” shut up ugly im a survivor who got punished for shit i never did all the time of fucking course im gonna panic when im blamed for something i didnt do