#but i dont rlly like those fics anymore
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SO...Here it is. My biggest fanfic yet and for the hex...focusing on a character that had less than 5 minutes of screentime (and died :( ) and here i am shipping him with the revenge hungry bartender and cold hearted groonda (ill come up with a good title for it later)
I enjoyed writing and rewriting this fic even though it was painful to get through at times. Is it the best it can be? Probably not FWEGRWEGH
Some general cws for character death, mention of nsfw (nothing explicitly shown, but it is implied/mentioned), and drinking/someone getting drunk (lemme know if i missed any!!)
Also no joke, this is 11,100 words and in google docs, it amounts to 29 pages. This is pretty long and splitting up into chapters just didnt feel right so it’s all underneath the “Keep reading”. If you are not prepared to read through the entire thing, i understand completely and hope you have a nice day wherever you are <3. If so, I do hope you enjoy it !! :)!
Rootbeer Tender.
Personally, Jay never heard of the game until he overheard a bunch of Groondas talk about it. From what he gathered, the game itself was said to be like a janky arcade game that played like it was made by a toddler. The only reason why a bunch of Gameworks employees go there (other than for a job) is because of a quaint little tavern that serves the best root beer around. Jay, finding himself curious, decided to go to the bar himself to see if it held up to that standard. What else was he doing other than cleaning? He could use a nice root beer. The forest loomed over him as he approached the inn. Although the inn looked welcoming, the jankiness and unpolished look made him feel a bit out of place. The lights were dimmed and the moon hung in the woods, omitting an eerie glow. Jay knew it was late and they were probably closed, but this was his only time off. He had to at least try a rootbeer. But as soon as he got to the door, he felt himself getting cold feet. They probably were closed, so why bother whoever’s working there now? As he turned to walk back to the base, he heard the door open behind him.
Jay turns around to see what looked to be the barkeep, holding the door open with a warm smile. Peering from behind his legs was this weird looking…Groonda? Jay couldn’t tell, but it was hunched over with an annoyed expression on its face. Jay looked anxious as he stuttered,
“Oh I’m terribly sorry. I-I was just- Well, I was just leaving so I’ll come back tomorrow when you’re open-”
The barkeep interrupted, “Leave? After you came all the way from the base? I don’t mind pouring one more glass.”
Jay grinned nervously. While the barkeep’s kindness was something he can appreciate, the idea of making these two work overtime for him? Well that was just rude in Jay’s opinion.
“Oh, that’s very kind of you, but really I should get going. You both look like you need some sleep.” Jay stuttered out as he tried to walk off. Apparently, the barkeep was having none of it and took a step forward to grab Jay by the shoulders with one arm. Jay’s face flushed as the bartender started to lead him into the tavern.
“Nonsense! Come right in, take a seat, please!” The barkeep paused his movements to look at the smaller man who Jay swore was giving him a dirty look. “Jeremiah, would you mind fetching another barrel from the basement?” The barkeep asked with a warm smile on his face.
Jeremiah nods wordlessly and he heads down into the basement.
Meanwhile, The bartender leads Jay to a stool and he sits down. Jay takes the moment to look around the inn while the bartender gets a glass ready. It was homey. The gramophone in the corner of the room was playing a song that Jay will have stuck in his head for days. The sudden voice of the bartender interrupted his musings,
“So mister, how do you take your rootbeer?”
Jay looked over to him. Jeremiah was already back (Jay swore he didn’t hear him come back) and was setting up a barrel on the far side of the room. The bartender was looking at him with a patient smile. Jay quickly glanced away, not used to anyone showing him such patience or kindness.
“I never had a rootbeer before.” He nervously said, rubbing the back of his head.
The bartender looks surprised. “Never had a root beer?!” He exclaimed in shock. Jay nodded, still looking away from him. The barkeep hummed and quickly went over to the barrel. “Well, I’ll just make the First Timer’s special.”
Before Jay can even ask what that is, he watches in awe as the barkeep makes his drink so fast that by time he slides it over for Jay to catch, Jay misses and the drink falls on the floor. The loud glass shattering makes Jay winces as he fearfully looks over to the bartender who was just staring at him.
“I-I’m so so sorry! I’ll clean it myself or I can just leave if you want-” His apologies were interrupted by the barkeep laughing loudly. His face flushes in embarrassment as he gets up from his seat to leave. The bartender slows down his laughing to motion Jay to sit back down.
“Oh you’re fine! It was just an accident, no need to be embarrassed. It’s my fault anyway. I keep forgetting sometimes not all my customers are familiar with my game.” The barkeep said sheepishly as he made another drink. Jay sits back down hesitantly, still looking at the mess.
“Do you still want me to clean it?”
“Hm? Oh, of course not! Jeremiah will take care of it.”
Right on cue, Jeremiah is already sweeping up the glass. Jay frowns, looking at the annoyed and tired expression on his face with sympathy. He recalled those late nights where some idiots decided to make a big mess at 2 am and Irving had forced Jay to stay overtime to clean it, making the same expression as Jeremiah’s. The bartender turns around with the remade drink in hand, only to find his patron was helping Jeremiah with the mess, using a nearby mop to clean up the drink. It was a welcome surprise to see Jeremiah seemingly having a conversation with a customer, especially one so skittish and anxious as Jay. Their conversation gets interrupted by the barkeep.
“What game are you from?” The barkeep asked curiously as he put Jay’s drink down where he sat. Both of them looked at him.
“Well…I’m just the janitor at the Gameworks base, sir. I wasn’t created from a game initially.” Jay stated, finishing up his cleaning and handing the mop to Jeremiah to put away. He sat down at his seat.
“Really? Well, I’m shocked.” The barkeep sounded genuine. He pulled up a stool from behind him to sit across from Jay. “And here I thought all characters were made for some type of game.”
“That’s kind of true? I mean, we all get used for games eventually. But in the meantime, some characters just work around the base. I-I have a friend who’s just a mechanic. She just makes sure things work right in games and anywhere else.” Jay took a sip of his drink. His eyes widened as the sweet flavor of the root beer covered his taste buds. He takes another sip, this time a bit longer, just to savor it. The barkeep chuckles at the sight of it, glad that he was able to satisfy another customer.
“So? Was it good?”
“Better than good! This is the sweetest drink I’ve ever had in my life. Probably the best root beer I’ve ever had too, and it’s my first time drinking one.”
“Well, I’m glad to hear it!” The barkeep says with a proud grin. “You know, I just realized we never even properly introduced ourselves.”
“Oh- uh, my bad, I-”
“Friend, don’t worry about it! My name is Rootbeer Reginald, but please just call me Reggie. The little guy over there,” he pointed towards Jeremiah, who was putting away the mop and cleaning supplies. “His name is Jeremiah, that’s my janitor.”
Jay tilted his head a bit at Reggie, who looked at him with a smile.
“...Your first name is Rootbeer?”
The smile faltered a bit as Reggie laughed nervously.
“No, not really. It’s just what I’m called. The only thing I serve in this tavern is root beer, you know?”
“Yes, but…You just said your name is “Rootbeer Reginald” so excuse me if I find it hard to believe you. Also, it sounds like something Lionel would make up for a character name.” Jay snickered watching the bartender’s face flushed in embarrassment and annoyance.
“Well! It doesn’t matter because I insist you just call me Reggie. Enough about my name, what’s yours?”
“Jay.”
“Jay…that’s a nice name.” The barkeep holds his hand towards Jay, who shakes it.
“It’s better than having RootBeer as a first name.” Jay says in a jokey tone, feeling the little root beer in his system. He expects Reggie to get furious, but is a bit shocked to see him look annoyed but still smiling.
“Oh knock it off! At least I have a last name.”
“Which is also a first name..”
Reginald and Jay laugh together at the absurdity of it. As the night goes on, Jay finds himself becoming more comfortable. Reginald was a great conversationalist, listening to Jay with a warm smile. Jeremiah wasn’t too bad either. The little guy was sitting with them, quietly listening along and only talking unless spoken to. Jay made a mental note to maybe get to know him better when he came to the tavern again.
...
As Jay finished his drink, he felt a bit sad that he had to leave. If he wasn’t there by sunrise, Irving would kill him.
“Again, I’m sorry I came here so late. I hope I didn’t screw up your sleep schedule or anything.” Jay watched as Reggie waved him off, finishing his cleaning and putting the stool back.
“Oh, don’t worry about it. I forgot how nice it is just to have some company. Not to say you’re not good company, Jeremiah!” Reggie laughs as Jeremiah rolls his eyes. Jay laughs along, a warm smile on his usually depressed face. As he waved goodbye to them and bid them good night, Jay was sure this wouldn’t be the last he would see of them.
“I hate Irving so much. Oh ‘mir, I wish I can just get reassigned to your game so I wouldn’t have to deal with his fucking BULLSHIT!!” Jay yelled as he gulped down his fifth drink. Reggie sighed as he cleaned a dirty glass and watched Jay, feeling sorry for the guy.
“Language, Jay.” Jeremiah said in a monotone voice, taking a seat on the bar next to Jay.
Jay was clearly shitfaced, having drank about 5 root beers in one go. His face was flushed red with his hair looking messed up. When he finished, he slammed the glass on the bar, almost breaking it.
“Sorry, sorry, I-I’m just so tired. I don’t understand how you two can stand the asshole. Bossing us around, treating us like garbage, he doesn’t care. He never did.” Jay hiccuped, tears running down his face as he choked back drunken sobs. Jeremiah rubbed his back to comfort him. Reggie took the glass away from Jay, cleaning it already.
“Can-Can I have another?”
“No. I’m cutting you off, Jay. As a friend, I will not allow you to die of root beer poisoning.” Reggie puts the now cleaned glass away and walks over to the other side of the bar, sitting next to Jay on the other side. “And I think Irving…I think he’s just stressed. He has a lot on his plate and I’m sure he cares. I don’t think it’s right he’s taking it out on you though, but I can talk to him about it. He visits sometimes.”
Reggie’s smile fades as Jay turns to look straight at him.
“You don’t- You just don’t- What the hell is wrong with you?! Can’t you comprehend that Irving doesn’t like us?” Jay laughs a bit manically as Reggie frowns. Jeremiah behind him growls a bit, becoming defensive.
“Reginald just sees the good in people, Jay. Nothing wrong with that.”
“But you of all people should know! I…”
Jay looks at both of them, and suddenly grabs their hands.
“I just want what’s best for you two. You’re the only friends I have and I’m terrified of ending up alone.” As Jay is saying this, he is glancing back and forth at Reggie and Jeremiah, gripping their hands tighter. While Jeremiah looks confused with his face red, Reggie smiles gently and rubs Jay’s knuckles.
“Your concern is appreciated, Jay. I assure you that I’m not mad, you’re drunk and stressed and sometimes you gotta let it out! I know I do that sometimes.” Reggie laughs softly. Jay can feel Jeremiah squeeze his hand a bit. “But Jeremiah and I aren’t going anywhere. You’re our friend, Jay. You’ll always have a place here at the inn. Anytime. Maybe I’ll convince Irving to let you work here. I could always use more help around here. Certainly would lessen the load, right Jeremiah?”
Jeremiah spoke up, “Yes. It would be nice to have a second pair of hands around.”
Jay sniffled as he stood up from his chair, a shaky and bittersweet smile on his face.
“Thank you. I mean it, truely, thank you. I have- I have to leave. See you tomorrow?”
Reggie noticed how much he wobbled as he stood and looked at him concerned.
“Are you sure you can even make it back? I’m happy to let you sleep in the cabin for the night.”
“I’m fineee, better than fine. I feel great. You two always make me feel better. With your kindness and…no nonsense attitude.” Jay giggles at that for some reason. He notices how he was still holding their hands, clearly not letting go. But instead of just letting go and apologizing like he normally would, his drunken mind decided to embrace the homoerotic nature of it all and kiss their cheeks instead. Letting go of their hands, he walks out of the tavern, yelling good night to them and saying he loves them while laughing. What Jay didn’t see was their flushed faces and sudden realization that maybe their friendship wasn’t so platonic afterall.
...
Several years have passed since that night.
Jay sighed as he cleaned the floor of the temple, staring at the reflection of the shiny clean floor.
He didn’t know why his mind decided to drift back to his memories of the inn. Hearing the songs on the gramophone, the smell of rootbeer, and the laughter of the barkeep after Jay told him a joke.
He really did miss Reggie. His warm smile. How he always knew what to say and what advice to give. How he would so gently put his hand on Jay’s shoulder after crying and complaining about a long day of work.
Even Jeremiah, for as creepy and cold the little guy could be, there was something in there. They both could relate to the horrid treatment they faced at the hands of Gamefuna (especially in regards to Irving). There were moments, Jay recalled, where Jeremiah would let down his cold exterior to reveal a much softer side of him. One that would grab your hand and never let go. One who concerns himself over every little thing, worries over your safety and well being and-
Jay’s eyes widened at his sudden realization. He was in love with them, wasn’t he? Was he that repressed he couldn’t acknowledge it? Why did he hesitate for so long? If he had just confessed sooner, if he just wasn't a coward, would things be different? Would he not feel so alone anymore?
The truth is, Jay thought as his hands began to tremble a bit, that it wouldn’t have mattered. They vanished long before Jay could even rationalize his true feelings towards them. Apparently moved to a different game but he didn’t believe that. Not after Irving told him with an almost relieved and cruel face. And what difference would it make if he told? It wouldn’t have lasted, in fact it would have made everything worse. Imagine confessing the two people who made him the happiest in the world and they accepted him, or rejected him in a soft way. Jay knows for a fact Reggie is far too kind to reject someone coldly. It’s not like him to be cruel. Jeremiah would go along with whatever Reggie would say, so maybe he had a shot. Who knows but the point is it would always be the same fate. Happiness then nothing.
There was no stopping Rootbeer Tender’s shut down, complete erasure from Lionel’s portfolio. Why? Because he was the first, the less polished game? What a sick joke. All of Lionel’s games were unpolished travesties, Rootbeer Tender was no different. The game…no, not just the game. Reggie and Jeremiah did not deserve whatever Irving did to them. Jay should have been there. He could have tried to prevent it. Even if he couldn’t, he could have given one more goodbye, he could have-
Jay’s thoughts halted when he saw droplets of water on the floor. He shakily touched his face to feel some wetness on his cheeks. He was crying. He quickly started to wipe his eyes and sniff up his snot when he heard the door opening. Thankfully it wasn’t Chandrelle, but the great sage doing his routine checks. The sage stopped in front of Jay.
“Are you alright?”
“Yes, I’m fine. Just allergies.”
“Ah, I see.”
The sage quickly looked around to make sure everything was in order and walked away to the door. All the while, Jay’s memories of the inn and the two owners he adored kept haunting him. All he can do is mop the same spot, over and over, lost in the images of happier days and the regrets he had. A voice suddenly spoke up, it was the sage.
“Jay?”
“Hm?”
“...You missed a spot near the altar.”
And with that the Sage left and closed the door. Jay threw his mop on the floor and softly sobbed in his hands, standing alone in the temple.
...
It was almost ironic how much Lazarus reminded Jay of himself that day. Crying alone in the temple where no one would hear him, wishing to go back to the days of old. Yet never realizing how the past was not much better than the present. Jay watched Lazarus from the slightly opened door of his room, softly sobbing in his hands and trembling as every sob choked out of his throat. He didn’t mean to stumble upon such a private moment. He was just trying to get away from Junior, who had been arguing with him all day about wanting to handle the explosives (which Jay knows from experience, will only end in disaster).
As he was heading to his own room, he heard the sobs and had to peek in. As much as Jay would want to comfort him, he knew better. Lazarus was a very private person. Rarely expressing any emotion other than a depressed frown and emotionless eyes. He never let anyone in his room nor did he talk about how he felt about things, just went along with whatever Jay or Junior said. It concerned Jay how loyal and unquestioning Lazarus could be, but supposed it was because of his days as a knight. It was hard to recode an entire character after all, or at least he heard Irving complain about it one time. Still, Jay decided to softly sigh and attempt to leave him alone.
Unfortunately, the door creaked just loud enough and opened only enough for Lazarus to stop and look up at Jay. Jay could see his horrified face staring at him, silently pleading with him not to tell and leave. At this moment, Jay could have walked up to him and comforted him, telling him that it’s all going to be okay, they’ll get out eventually. But what good would lying do? He wasn’t even sure Lazarus’s plan of going to that “Six Pint Inn'' would even work. However, as much as Jay’s instincts told him to walk away and avoid an awkward confrontation, staring at the poor ex-knight with sickly pale green skin and red eyes made him realize that taking the coward’s path was a horrible option. So he opted to compromise.
Slowly entering the room, he pulled out a clean rag from his armor (he always carried one or two around to clean the blood from his suit) and handed it to Lazarus. He softly sighed as Lazarus took the rag with an unreadable expression.
“If you ever need to talk, uh, about anything, I’ll listen. I won’t tell Junior anything, it’s none of his business.” There was an awkward pause. Lazarus simply stared at him and Jay had to look away, turning around to head out the room. Before Jay can leave, he heard Lazarus speak up softly.
“Thank you. You’re a good man, Jay.”
Jay glanced at Lazarus, who he noticed was giving a small smile as he wiped his eyes. Jay smiled back at him and nodded, leaving the room. It was a small gesture, but it was enough. Mir’, Jay hoped it was enough.
...
Walking through the forest path felt familiar to Jay. Following behind Lazarus, he couldn’t help but to look around, desperately trying to remember if he had ever walked down this path. The storm raging on didn’t help with this process. As the thunder boomed and lightning cracked down from the sky, his thought process stopped and he jumped a little. Junior, who was walking beside him, laughed.
“Aw, what’s the matter? You’re scared of a little storm?”
“No! I was just startled, that’s all.”
“Uh-huh.” Junior said with a smug smirk.
Lazarus barely turned around to engage in their shenanigans. He gave a small glance before motioning them to pick up the pace. Jay frowned at this. He always worried about Lazarus. Poor guy was never the same after what happened in Secrets of Legendaria.
After a bit of walking, Lazarus stopped in front of the inn.
“..We’re here.”
While Junior was complaining about how small the inn actually was and Lazarus was knocking on the door, Jay’s eyes widened in realization.
This was Rootbeer Tender. It had to be. He turned to his right to see the cabin, a few paces away. There was no mistaking it. That was Reggie’s cabin, clearly seeing better days, but still intact. Could this mean that he’s…alive? Was he truly replaced by someone else?
Lazarus’s voice cut through his thoughts.
“Jay!”
He turned to look at him.
“Come on, the door’s open.”
“...Right.”
Jay took a deep breath and adjusted his helmet. He entered the inn.
The place was far different to what he remembered of it. The rows of bars were gone, replaced with only one in the center of the room. The most striking change was the giant mirror behind the bar. But it was disgusting, the dust made it impossible to see a clear reflection. He noticed even more little details, like the vending machine on the far right of the room, and even a door that leads to what looked to be a kitchen. A kitchen was the strangest thing to Jay. He remembered how bad Reggie’s cooking was, even if the man himself would never admit it was. Speaking of Reggie, he did notice the portrait of him and Jeremiah. Jay would never say it outloud but he couldn’t help it, the portrait just reminded him of how handsome Reggie was (and Jeremiah, but he couldn’t get a good look at him. He almost laughed to see how the photo cut him off due to his height).
Lazarus and Junior were already making themselves known. Junior walks over to Weasel Kid, interrupting an one sided conversation between him and the weird old man in survivor gear. Jay watched as Junior said something so funny apparently it made the kid laugh. Out of all people, he did not expect to see Weasel Kid end up here. Lazarus was sitting on the stool, talking to someone he couldn’t see from where he was standing. So he glanced around to see if anyone else was here.
He saw what looked like a fighting character. Jay had to think for a moment to remember the fighter’s name. Bryce, Jay remembered, that was his name. He remembered his one fight with Steambot Willy. He never got the chance to really talk to him during that fight or when he saw Bryce walking around base. But from the memories of Bryce waving to him every time they acknowledged each other’s existence, he always seemed nice enough. He looked to be talking quietly to Chandrelle. So that’s what happened to them, Jay thought to himself. He can see why Lazarus was so adamant on going here. Chandrelle looked about the same as Jay remembered. He’s almost grateful that she hasn't recognized him or Junior yet. Junior especially, remembering that talk with Lazarus and him confessing what she did to Moji. Jay never understood why Lazarus would still see any good in her, but Jay supposes that being her swordsman has something to do with it.
Jay finally decides to stop standing in the entrance, as his feet were starting to hurt and he didn’t want to draw any attention to himself. He took a seat next to where Bryce and Chandrelle were standing, keeping his back turned to them to watch Lazarus talk to the bartender. The bartender was-
. . .
Jay’s eyes widened as he recognized him. Rootbeer Regianld himself.
For Mir’s sake, what happened to him? He looked much older than Jay could ever have imagined, with wrinkles on his face and dark shadows under his eyes. He was supposed to be a year or two younger than Jay. They joked about that a lot. His hair was receding a bit and he noticed the wheelchair Reggie was sitting in. Jay looked at the portrait on the wall and back at the barkeep, wondering why the years were seemingly so cruel to him. Jay hoped to whatever creator was behind the screen that Jeremiah didn’t look much worse. Jay’s thoughts were interrupted by Junior’s impatient yelling.
“JAY! Man, what the hell is wrong with you?!”
Jay realized that all eyes were on him. The confused stares of patrons, Lazarus’s concerned stare, Junior’s frustrated look, and Reggie’s emotionless face made Jay more and more uncomfortable. Jay shook his head and stood straighter.
“S-Sorry, what were you saying?”
Reginald spoke up and Jay noticed how much rougher his voice sounded.
“I was saying that you three are needed in the attic. Take the elevator. Weasel Kid will be there to guide you, isn’t that right?”
“Whatever.”
Jay followed the three onto the elevator. There was a moment before the elevator moved where he and Reggie locked eyes. Neither one broke it as the elevator slowly moved up. It was clear that Reginald recognized him yet Jay can sense a disbelief in his face as well. The thoughts stuck with Jay, long after the elevator reached the 2nd floor and the group followed Weasel to the attic.
...
Jay never recalled the old inn even having an attic, let alone a second floor. His way up to the attic was filled with him looking around the decor and rooms the place had. Reginald and Jeremiah never had good taste in decoration, let alone ones that fit, but for what it was, it was decent. Though, Jay probably would have done a better job. He was grateful that the way up was an awkward silence, although Junior and Weasel would mutter amongst themselves, discussing whatever that didn’t concern Jay. It was when they reached the attic that Jay came across another familiar face. Although he was in robes and his face was hidden, Jay had no doubts that it was Jeremiah. There weren’t a lot of small, hunched over people with a robe such as his that Jay knew. As Jeremiah turned around to face them, he noticed a small patch on the robe. Did something happen to him..? Those thoughts would have to wait as Jeremiah spoke,
“Ah…So you finally arrived. Early, I might add. I thought we agreed to debrief tomorrow, Lazarus?”
“The sooner, the better. I want to get this over with.”
There was a small pause as Jeremiah let out a pleased hum.
“I understand. I think you made a good call. Now, let us go over the plan.”
Jeremiah unceremoniously took off the robe. He looked pretty much the same as he used to, only with a similar patch on his suit. Jay breathed a small sigh of relief. He didn’t know how he would react if Jeremiah looked as bad as Reggie did. As everyone gathered around the table, Jay noticed how he stared at him for a brief second only to start discussing the plan like nothing happened.
It seemed like a good plan. Everyone does their part, they steal the artifact, get out, then bomb the base and everyone inside. Irving would die (maybe? He didn’t sound so sure about it) and they would be back at the inn safely. Weasel would find his own way and sneak into the sewers, carrying the bomb and blowing up column A when the time was right. Junior would clear out any soldiers to prevent a flank, Lazarus would help when necessary, and Jay was in charge of disarming the security system. Due to Lazarus’s insistence on doing the debriefing early, it only made sense to enact the plan that early morning. While the plan seemed self explanatory, Jay couldn’t help but to have a bad feeling about it. Those feelings only worsened when Jeremiah started to discuss the disclaimers.
For one, there was no backing out. It was either you’re in or not, and if anyone makes an attempt to leave, they would die. By Jeremiah’s hands or any other brave soul willing to do it. He also made clear that this plan was not flawless. There was a likelihood that any of them could die during the operation. Jay wasn’t surprised to see Lazarus agree to all of this so quickly. No hesitation as he nods and shakes Jeremiah’s hand. Jay admits that Lazarus was someone who would rather be dead than to be sent on another mission again. Jay couldn’t help but to agree, even if he was absolutely terrified of dying. Junior was on board with this whole plan as well. Of course, he probably ignored the warnings and just wanted to cause as much damage to Gameworks as possible. Jay heard Junior loudly tease Weasel Kid to “not fuck this up and kill everyone” as the two were leaving for the elevator. Jay was about to follow them and Lazarus out, but heard Jeremiah call out for him.
“Hang on. You, Jay, I need to discuss something with you.”
Lazarus glanced back at Jay who shrugged and motioned to go on without him.
Jay returned to the table, sitting across from Jeremiah who was staring at him intently. There was an awkward silence.
“So, it’s been a while.” Jay broke the silence while wringing his hands together. Jeremiah took a deep breath, his age was becoming apparent as Jay saw how tired the man really looked.
“Yes. It has. What are you doing here?”
Jay shrugged and responded, “I was resigned to this game.” He paused for a second, realizing it wasn’t 100% true, so he rephased it. “Well, it was more of me wanting to be in it for the excitement.” Jay let out a bitter laugh.
Jeremiah looked surprised. “Out of all games, you chose this one? You’re a janitor, Jay. Not a soldier.”
“I’m beginning to realize that.”
There is another pause. Jay looked away from Jeremiah, content with staring at the ground. He didn’t want him to see how he was almost crying.
“I thought you both died. I mourned for you two.”
“I’m sorry to hear that.”
“What happened to you and Reggie?”
Jeremiah started to tap his clawed finger on the table, a bit of a pained look on his face.
“I..I wish not to discuss it without Reginald’s consent.”
“I see. Well, it’s good to see you’re both alive and well. I should get going.”
As Jay was about to get up and leave this awkward situation, Jeremiah stopped him, this time grabbing his arm quickly.
“I did not say that this discussion was over, Jay.”
“What is it you want to discuss?”
“The plan. I want you to make sure you’re in.”
That made Jay look back at Jeremiah. He laughed awkwardly, becoming nervous under Jeremiah’s stern stare.
“I…I don’t think I should be a part of it. There’s no room for cowards and well, I haven’t changed in that regard.”
“Jay. You were never a coward.”
“I find that very hard to believe.”
Jeremiah looked a bit frustrated. He climbed on top of the table to gently grab Jay’s shoulders.
“Listen to me. You are not a coward. In fact, we-...I need you for this plan. You’re the only other person with only knowledge of the base and its systems. I promise you will be safe so long as you follow everything to a tee, I’ll make sure of it.”
A sudden static noise from Jeremiah’s pocket interrupts the conversation. As he excuses himself and answers, Jay reflects on what Jeremiah told him. While it was nice to hear Jeremiah be so confident about him, his self doubt was already asking why that was. He was a coward, plenty of times he ran away from a fight when his comrades were doing all the fighting. Even back then, he was too afraid of rejection to even-
No, Jay grimaced and shaked his head as he shook the thought out of his head. He stopped his thoughts from wandering any further when he saw Jeremiah put the device back in his pocket and looked at Jay.
“That was Reginald. He requests that you spend the night with us in the cabin.”
Jay furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. “Why?”
“It’s far too dangerous to fly in this weather. The others already have their rooms, but we have a miscalculation in how many people we would have to room. Besides, Reggie insists you come to the cabin. He would like to speak with you as well.” All of a sudden, Jeremiah grabbed his hand, which flustered Jay. His hand was freezing, it felt like he was holding a corpse’s hand more than a living person’s. “It’s nothing bad. It would be better than sleeping outside and it will be just us. Like old times.” Jeremiah said in a soft tone, softly smiling at Jay. Jay had seen Jerry smile genuinely before yet this one felt a bit forced. But Jay didn’t seem to care. In the moment, seeing Jeremiah’s smile only flustered him more as old feelings started to come back.
“...Alright.” Jay reluctantly said after glancing back and forth at the ground and Jeremiah’s face.
With that, Jeremiah leads him to the secret elevator and they head down to the lobby, which was completely empty. Jay noticed as they exited the inn that Jeremiah never let go of his hand, content with leading him to the cabin. The warm lights of its inside softly shining in the distance contrasted with the dread Jay felt in his stomach.
...
When Jay entered the cabin, it looked pretty much the same as it used to. Although there were some little details that looked new to Jay, it all felt familiar to him which was comforting. Yet, the presence of Reggie staring at the blank computer screen made the atmosphere more ominous. When Jeremiah came in and shut the door behind them, he turned to look at the two, wheeling his chair around to face them fully. The squeaking of the wheels made Jay cringe. Reggie stared for a moment, specifically at Jay, before giving him a small smile.
“Well I’ll be. It really is you. How have you been?”
Reggie’s smile and tone just felt wrong to Jay. It just didn’t feel…genuine. That’s what Reggie always was: Genuine. “I’ve been worse…What about you? Have you been doing alright?”
“Not at all!” Reggie gave a sharp and bitter laugh. Jay frowned at his response, realizing with seeing him in the wheelchair how dumb the question really sounded. Reginald continued, “Oh, I haven’t been alright in a long, long time. Neither of us have been. Isn’t that right Jeremiah?”
Jay almost forgot Jeremiah was there for how silent he was. Jeremiah climbed onto the arm of the wheelchair and clung onto it like a hawk with a trainer.
“Yes. It has been a difficult time for us.”
Jay looked at both of them with sympathy. There was an awkward silence between the three of them.
“But enough of this pity talk. It’s far too depressing for this reunion. Afterall, it’s been so long since the three of us got to be together like this! Would you mind grabbing those drinks behind you for us? And pull up a chair! Relax for a while! It’ll be just like old times.” Reggie broke the silence with a cheery tone and grin, gesturing towards the lone chair and table with glasses filled behind Jay. Jay took the chair and placed it in front of Reggie and Jeremiah. When he did sit down in front of them, passing the drinks along and taking his own, there was still an uncomfortable tension between them all. This didn’t feel like “old times”. Old times would be them laughing at jokes they made and complaining about their jobs. The old times would have Jay listening to Reggie and Jeremiah talk to each other, engrossed in their own conversation. Jay never minded. He knew how dedicated the two were to each other. He always felt grateful that they chose him to be a witness to their closer and more intimate moments. But the attention was all on him now and he wasn’t sure what to do with it. Jay took small sips of his drink as he watched the other two across from him looked as uncomfortable as he was.
“So… How come you’re in a wheelchair?” The moment Jay asked that question, Reggie frowned and he clenched the wheelchair’s arm.
“I’d rather not discuss it.”
“Reggie. I know it sounds like a sensitive topic-”
“If you know, then why are we discussing it?” Reggie forced a smile when saying that. For some reason, that forced smile was Jay’s final straw. Jay huffed in frustration.
“Because I thought, for all these years, that you two died. The least you can do is tell me what happened.”
“Again, I’d rather not. I’m sorry that our disappearance concerned you so much, however-” Jay suddenly interrupted Reggie in a fit of anger, shouting at them.
“Concerned?! I was more than concerned about you. I mourned for you. I cared so much about you two. Honestly, you two were the only friends I had. I just want to know what’s going on. This whole plan and…everything, it’s not like you two.”
Jay grabbed Reggie’s hand. Reggie flinched, which was concerning to Jay. But his attention was on him and not Jeremiah.
“No matter what you tell me, it will never leave this cabin. I promise you.” Jay grabs Jeremiah’s hand as well. Cold and small as it always was, yet his grip was tight. He can feel Jeremiah’s sharp nails dig into his skin. He ignored the pain and continued to push, “So can you two please tell me what happened to the old Reggie and Jeremiah? What changed?”
Reginald took a deep breath, glancing over to Jeremiah who was matching his tired expression. He stared into Jay’s concerned eyes, gripping his hand tightly.
“...Lionel did this to me.” Reggie confessed with a serious tone, not breaking eye contact with Jay. Jay couldn’t help but look confused. Lionel was a jerk, sure, but to this degree?
“Lionel? But-”
“He wanted this, Jay. He wanted me gone, but didn’t want any blood on his hands. So he sent Irving to do the dirty work of getting rid of me. I couldn’t believe it myself. Why would he want to get rid of me? He loved rootbeer and most importantly, he loved me. Or so I thought.” Jay noticed how Reginald was slightly shaking as he spoke. His hand was on his face, looking like he was desperately trying to keep composure. Jeremiah was already by his side, using his other arm to wrap around Reggie’s shoulders (or at least as far as his short arms can reach). Jay kept quiet, intently listening as he continued to hold their hands. Reggie continued,
“I refused to leave and well… I suppose Irving “respected” that decision.” He gestured towards his legs, letting out a bitter laugh. Jay’s eyes widen in horror as he puts the pieces together. It wasn’t out of character for Irving to be cruel, but this? This was on a whole other level. Reggie treated Irving with nothing but kindness and this is what he gets? It made Jay’s stomach turn.
“Have you ever felt betrayal, Jay?” Reginald asked Jay who snapped out of his angered thoughts.
“I-I don’t think so.”
“It’s the most painful feeling you will ever experience. Far worse than any physical torment, especially when your legs get broken into tiny bits of bones that stick out like knives. You lay on the floor, writhing in pain, thinking “Why would they do this to me? Was I not good enough? Was it my fault?”. And it is their fault, not mine! Never mine! I loved him! It’s all their fault. IT’S ALL HIS FAULT-”
As Reggie begins to yell in anger, he stops when he feels Jeremiah squeeze his shoulder, looking upset. He takes a deep breath as Jeremiah continues for him.
“Lionel wanted to look like a game dev prodigy in the eyes of the unsuspecting public. Super Weasel Kid being his first game looks better than Rootbeer Tender. Such mediocrity being praised, it sickens me. How can a game like that excuse the denial of our existence? For our suffering? Can you even fathom such a thing?” Jeremiah said all of that with such venom, Jay almost wondered why Weasel Kid was even allowed in the inn. He continued, “Irving. For what he did to Reginald, he must suffer.”
“Ah, Jeremiah,” Reginald interrupted gently, “We are getting a bit ahead of ourselves.”
“Wh-What does that mean? Is that what this whole plan is about? To get revenge on Irving?” Jay asked, slowly putting together the pieces. Reginald only gave Jay a dry smile.
“Ah. Well, you are about half right. I want Irving and Lionel dead.”
Jay let go of both of their hands, his face morphing into shock and horror. He stared at both of them in disbelief.
“Dead? You want them dead? That’s-” Jay laughs at how absurd it sounded. “Reggie, that’s nearly impossible. Lionel is on the other side of the screen! And Irving well-”
“Jay, I know this. That’s what this whole plan is for! Do you take me as a fool?” Reggie accused Jay with a bitter tone. Jay couldn’t help but to think if this really was Rootbeer Reggie and Jeremiah, his janitor. They certainly weren’t acting like them. The Jeremiah he knew was cold, but not malicious and hateful like the one in front of him. And the Reggie he knew was kind. Someone who would forgive too easily and always had a bright smile on his face. The man in front of him was not him, he was just someone with a similar face worn on like a distorted mask. His eyes filled with grief and darkness and the forced smiles he gave only made Jay more and more uncomfortable.
“I-I don’t- of course not, Reggie, but, this- I mean-” Jay kept stuttering as he fell under the pressure of their intense stares. He was almost grateful that Reggie interrupted him.
“There will be a ritual performed using the Artifact. It will be performed once all the necessary participants have been retrieved.”
“Participants?”
“I have been collecting those who have been wronged by Lionel and Irving,” Jeremiah answered. “For the ritual to work, it requires six player characters, the blessing of a human player, and the Artifact.”
“The Hex…” Reggie said with a manic grin. “The Hex will allow us access to the real world. Once then, I will kill Lionel myself and this will all be over. I can finally be at peace.”
“And…And what about Irving? How do you plan on going about that?”
Jeremiah, who was silent throughout Reggie’s explanation, spoke up, “The explosion from the bomb should be enough to kill him.”
“And if it doesn’t?”
There was an awkward silence between them as Jeremiah and Reggie glanced at each other.
“We did not account for that.” Jeremiah awkwardly confessed, clearing his throat.
“But!” Reggie said loudly before Jay can panickally question how they could possibly miss accounting for a failed murder attempt on the guy who can order their deletion in seconds. “I’m sure that will not be an issue. The plan has made it this far, there is no way it will fail now. Things have fallen into place far too much for it to fail now.”
“Ah, but of course, there is just one thing that is a bit of a concern to this operation.”
“And what’s that?”
“You. It’s you.”
“How am I a concern? I promised I wouldn’t tell anyone about this. And Jeremiah must have told you that I want nothing to do with the breaking in.” Jeremiah and Reggie glanced at each other. It looked like they knew something that Jay didn’t, which made Jay squirm in his seat.
“Ah, well, that’s the issue. You’re the only person I trust with handling security.”
“Reggie, you can’t be serious. I can’t do it. I’m not going to do it. I’m sorry Reginald, and-and Jeremiah, but no! I’m too scared to do it.”
As Jay got up from his seat, Reggie grabbed his arm tightly, hurting Jay a little.
“Jay. Please. I need you to do this. I…I know there’s a chance you won’t make it out alive, I won’t lie. But I swear to you, it’s a small chance. I wouldn’t be here begging you if I knew you wouldn’t survive.”
Jay refused to look at them. Every instinct in Jay was telling him to run. They were going to send on a dangerous mission with a guarantee that he could very well die. Was it really worth it to escape Vicious Galaxy? Even more so, was it worth it for…them?
...
Images of better days flashed in Jay’s head as did the old feelings he desperately avoided. As much as he didn’t want to die and would rather be a coward, he found that he just didn’t have it in him. He found himself glancing at the untouched drinks, still by their chairs.
He remembered when Reginald told him that he didn’t even like drinking rootbeer.
“Really?! You’re telling me that whole job, which is just making and serving rootbeer, the establishment you work at, hell! Even your name!! And you don’t even like to drink it?” The voice of a younger Jay played in his mind. He heard Reginald laugh as did Jeremiah’s soft chuckle.
“Nope!” The younger and cheerier voice of Reginald admitted. “I was never a fan of anything sweet. That’s Jeremiah. I have more of a sour tooth. In fact, I can eat a whole lemon and not pucker once.”
“You’re just screwing with me, Reggie.”
“I swear, I’m not! Give me a lemon, I’ll prove it right now.”
Jay chuckled at the serious tone Reggie had.
“But seriously, I have to ask: If you don’t like drinking it, why do you make it? Is it because you’re forced to?”
“Forced? Oh, I’m not forced to do it.” He remembered how Reggie paused for a second. “Well, maybe a little,” He said with a light laugh. “But I don’t mind. You know why, Jay? Because it makes Lionel happy. It makes my patrons happy. And it makes you happy. That’s all that matters to me.”
...
Before Jay can even process it, his mind shifted to another scene. It was a small moment with just him and Jeremiah. Reginald wasn’t there when Jay arrived late that night, apparently having gone through a busy day and retiring for the night. Jeremiah stayed behind, having cleaned everything and was patiently waiting for Jay’s arrival. In retrospect, Jay always appreciated the moments when it was just them alone. Jay always felt like he never knew Jeremiah as well as he did with Reginald. The little guy was just someone who didn’t share much about himself and always seemed cold and distant. So as the two had some rootbeer Reggie left behind for them to share, they talked quietly amongst themselves. But this stood out to Jay because of one simple question:
“Why do you listen to Reginald?”
Jeremiah looked at Jay oddly.
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“I mean, and I’m not saying he’s like Irving or a bad boss, but…Jeremiah, if Reginald told you to jump off a bridge, would you?”
“Of course.” Jeremiah answered with no hesitation.
“See! Exactly what I mean! You take every word that man says like it’s a commandment. Why?”
“I love him.”
There was an awkward silence between them. Jay remembered how a bit crushed he was hearing that. He was just gaining some attraction towards them and hearing that just felt like any chance he had was thrown out the window. It never made him want to leave, strangely enough, but only increased his want of becoming closer. He heard Jeremiah continue, “Your example of the bridge was misleading. Reginald would never ask that of me. He would never make me do anything that would lead me to unavoidable pain or death. I would volunteer that on my own volition if it is needed. Wouldn’t you do the same for someone you care about?”
...
The two memories lingered as he snapped back into the present. Reggie’s hand was still gripping his arm and he could hear Jeremiah talking in the background. Jay shakily sighs, finally making up his mind and already regretting it. However, he wasn’t doing it for him.
It was for them.
“...I’ll do it.” Jay felt his voice quiver as Reggie’s tight grip disappeared and he sat back down on the chair. He looked at Reggie and Jeremiah, both of which looked a bit surprised.
“You have no idea how much this means to me. Thank you.” Reggie’s gentle tone and soft voice made Jay’s heart skip a beat. It didn’t help that Jeremiah had reached out to hold his hand tenderly. Jay knew for a fact going on this mission would be one of his biggest regrets, he might not even make it out alive for mir’s sake. Still, he justified his decision by the relief and joy it brought to the two people he loved.
Reginald reached down for his neglected drink as did Jeremiah, both of them raising the drinks for a toast. Jay quickly grabbed his, realizing what was going on. Reggie cleared his throat, “A toast for us and for the plan. My revenge will finally be brought to fruition. And it’s thanks to you two.” Jay clinked his glass with them and took a drink. It was as sweet as he remembered. He almost laughed at seeing Reggie trying to hide his disgust at the sweet taste, only taking a small drink. It seemed time had flown by so quickly as the three were talking and laughing like they used to. Jay had even challenged Reggie to an arm wrestle, bragging a bit about how he certainly got stronger from being in Vicious Galaxy. Even though Jay lost, to see the two look happy and chatting amongst themselves like old times made it all worth it. But the panic soon kicked in as he recalled that he would be leaving in the morning. Most likely not returning at all. Reggie and Jeremiah sensed Jay’s dread radiating off of him, stopping their conversation to look concerned at him.
“Jay? Are you alright?” Reggie asked with a worried tone. Jay looked at them frightfully, his mind becoming frenzied. Yet, there was one thing he knew he had to do.
“I-Look. I know you keep telling me that it’s going to go fine tomorrow and I’ll come back safe, but I just can’t believe that. And so if this is my last night alive, then I can’t take this to my grave.”
“What are you talking about, Jay?” Jeremiah asked in a cautious tone, becoming a bit apprehensive at Jay’s panicked state. Jay took a shaky breath, kneeling in front of the wheelchair on the floor. He barely made eye contact with either of them. He put his hand on Reggie’s knee.
“I love you. Oh ‘Mir, I love you both so much.” Jay felt wetness on his cheeks and his throat tightening but he kept going. “I have for years. If I only knew how little time we had together, I would have gotten over this sooner. I’m such a coward.
And if you don’t love me back, if either of you don’t, that’s fine. I can accept that. Hate me if you want even. I only wish for this to not be my last regret. And-..Also-, I mean-”
“Jay.” Reggie’s voice suddenly interrupts Jay's confession. He hesitantly looks up at them, expecting rejection from both. What Jay did not expect was to feel the gentle touch of two very different hands on both of his cheeks. A gloved one that was warm and a small cold one with his nails slightly poking him. Both staring at him lovingly. Jay’s face turned as red as his nose.
“We would never hate you. In fact, I speak for Jeremiah and myself that we felt the same way towards for as long as you have.” Reginald whispered while caressing his face. As much as Jay felt his heart soar and he wanted so badly to burst in joy, Jay couldn’t help but to question that last part.
“I..Wait. Did-Did you two know? This whole time?!”
“Weeellll…” Reginald laughed awkwardly while Jeremiah looked away, clearly a bit embarrassed. “Jeremiah suspected. He did mention it to me a couple times but I wasn’t sure if it was the right call to bring it up. You can be, uh, a little skittish, like a cat.”
“So. You’re calling me a “skittish cat”?” Jay asked.
“Don’t be embarrassed, we’re not taunting you, just stating the truth. You’re our skittish cat, afterall.” Jeremiah teased with a grin, lightly pinching Jay’s cheek. Jay, on the other hand, looked unimpressed and sighed loudly as the other two chuckled.
“Ha. Ha. Very funny.” Jay looked annoyed as the other two calmed their laughter down.
Reginald glanced at the clock hanging by his bed. “Well, I see that it’s rather late. You both have to leave very early so I suggest we start heading to bed.” Reginald paused, glancing at Jeremiah who nodded. “Unless, you have other ideas?”
Jay looked at him, a bit puzzled on what he meant. “Um, excuse me?”
“Oh you know.”
“I…I don’t know. What other ideas?”
Jeremiah sighs loudly, looking impatient as Reginald couldn’t help but to snicker a little.
“Intercourse, Jay. We are subtly asking if you would like to have sexual intercourse with us.”
“Oh..OH!” Jay’s face became hot and red as a tomato and he looked down, refusing to make eye contact. “I-I-I don’t- Are you sure? It just feels so sudden, not to say I don’t want to! I do, but-”
“Jay, Jay! We wouldn’t have asked if we weren’t sure. As much as I don’t want to say it or entertain the idea,” Reggie sighed. “If this is truly your last night alive, wouldn’t you want to make the most of it?”
“I agree with Reginald.” Jeremiah piped in. “We want you. I want you.”
Jay mulled over this for a moment. And perhaps it was some of the rootbeer in his system or the acceptance that death was already waiting on his doorstep, but for once in his entire existence, he ignored his inner voice telling him to run. Oh no, he was not running from this.
He instead picked up Reginald and Jeremiah, holding them in his arms. He may have lost an arm wrestling match, he most certainly was much stronger than he was in the past. But as soon as he did that, his adrenaline wore off for a second as he realized what he was doing.
“Oh, uh, sorry. I should have-”
“No, no, no! You’re fine.” Reginald said, looking flustered for once. Jeremiah was silent, but moved so suddenly to grab Jay’s face and kiss him passionately. He winced a sharp tooth and managed to knick his lip but as Jeremiah pulled away, Reginald immediately pulled Jay in to kiss him, leaving him breathless. His helmet clattered to the floor as he started to walk towards the bed, his two lovers never letting up on their constant affection towards him.
...
It was the only good memory that flashed to his head as the world slowed around him. He had his back turned from his comrades. He couldn’t bear to see Lazarus’s or Jeremiah’s face as he heard Junior pump his shotgun. He wasn’t mad at Junior, far from it. Jay knew the kid was only doing what they agreed to. It was Jay who let his cowardice control him, putting Lazarus’s life at risk while he did the easy work of just sitting and waiting. Why did he even agree to this? For love? What kind of love was this? Was he really risking everything for the vengeance of the shadow of a man he once knew? Why didn’t Jeremiah stop this?
. . .
Why didn’t he stop this? He knew it was part of the agreement, but surely Jeremiah could have prevented it? Bended the rules a little? Jay didn’t want his final thoughts to be this, to be blaming his now lovers for his mistakes. Yet, it felt right doing so. If he had just said no and backed out, he would have been fine. Maybe stuck in Vicious Galaxy or even died at another person’s hands, but oh mir’, anything was better than dying from cowardice, by your own teammate’s hands. Jay shut his eyes.
“Oh ‘Mir… I should have stayed as a janitor.” He could feel his voice tremble as he spoke his final words. “It was safe. It was-”
The last thing Jay heard was a loud bang and everything went to black.
...
The remaining three watched as Jay’s body hit the ground facedown with a thud. A small puddle of blood forming underneath. Jeremiah was at least thankful he didn’t have to see his face. Junior reloaded his gun, seemingly not that phased on the murder he just committed.
“No time for cowards, right boss?” He asked Jeremiah, who had snapped out of staring at the body to look at Junior. He cleared his throat,
“Unfortunately,” He made the mistake of glancing back at Jay’s corpse, grimacing a bit. “It had to be done.”
Jeremiah turned his attention towards Lazarus who was looking at him with utter grief in his face. He heard about how Jay and him got along. Jeremiah couldn’t help but sympathize with the poor man, who he heard quietly whisper to Jay.
“Goodbye, Jay…”
As much as Jeremiah would like to stay a little longer, to at least say his own goodbye or bury a grave, they had no time to waste. They already wasted enough.
“The Artifact awaits. Let’s go.” Jeremiah pressed on, already walking in the base with Junior following right behind him. He didn’t turn back. Grief was merely a setback. Reginald would get his revenge, Jeremiah would make sure of it.
...
Reginald woke up to the sound of floorboards breaking, panicked shouts from his patrons, and a loud bang from the basement. He sighed tiredly, a little upset he had been rudely awakened from his impromptu nap. He didn’t sleep last night, how could he? Well, not only because of…what they did last night (he still felt a bit sore) but also from a persistent feeling he hadn’t felt in a long time.
Regret.
He stared at Jay’s sleeping face for the entire night. When morning came, Reggie pretended to be asleep, not wanting to say goodbye for what could be the very last time he sees him. He heard his wheelchair being pushed to his bedside. He felt a cold chill on head, as he usually did in the mornings. Then, he felt warm lips gently kiss the same spot, feeling the hot air from his mouth linger only for a little bit and disappearing. He didn’t get up until an hour later, when the sun was about to rise and he could smell the pancakes Bryce was making from the inn.
He shook off the memory, rubbing his eyes out of tiredness. What was he doing?
Ah, yes, he was making sure the props were set and ready. He was just about to start putting the photos into their frames for Jeremiah to hang up.
Speaking of Jeremiah, he heard the door unlock from inside the secret room. He paused when he saw Reggie.
“...You look exhausted.”
“Hm, yes, I didn’t get much sleep last night. Did everything go as planned?” Reggie asked while sorting through the photos.
“Yes…” Jeremiah paused. He sighed tiredly as he explained. “Mostly. Irving did not die in the explosion. But everything else went exactly as planned. We even freed her. She’s waiting in the basement.”
“Irving won’t be a problem. I already have an idea of how we can get rid of him. Did Lazarus and Weasel make it out?”
Jeremiah nods, taking off his armor. “Yep. They made it out fine. Lazarus and Weasel Kid are already en route with the Artifact as we speak.”
Reggie couldn’t help but to grin excitedly. “Excellent. All we need is one more player character and the finishing touches to our game, and it will all come together.” He turned to look at Jeremiah with a smile. “I couldn’t have done this without you.”
Jeremiah walked over to Reggie. He simply grabbed his arm and kissed his hand, slowly intertwining his own with Reggie’s.
“Anything for you. I want to see them both suffer.”
Reggie smiled softly, patting Jeremiah’s head. His smile faded as he remembered about them.
“...And the other two. What happened to them?”
Jeremiah stopped and Reggie could see the remorse in his eyes as he gripped onto his hand.
“Junior died in the explosion, crushed by the debris. Poor child was simply unlucky.”
“And Jay?”
“...” Jeremiah went silent.
Reggie’s mood and tone darkened. “Jeremiah. What happened to Jay?”
Jeremiah shakily sighed. Reggie was almost surprised at how sorrowful Jeremiah looked.
“Jay…He did his part well. But apparently, Lazarus did all the killing for him. He only managed to get the security down. By the time we were at the main gate, he got cold feet. He knew what we had agreed to. He died by Junior’s hands. One shotgun blast was all it took.”
Silence. Reginald’s face became unreadable as he processed the news. Jeremiah only held on tighter, leaning against his arm.
“I…I can’t say I did not expect it to happen. We both knew neither one was gonna make it, but I did expect a bit of a more…grander death.”
“Reggie, I mean no offense or disrespect, but that would be asking too much of him. But he admitted to being…”a coward”. That’s brave enough for him.”
“Hm, I suppose.” Reggie looked back down at the photos and frames blankly. He pulled the photo of Jay and put it in the frame. He handed it and the rest of the photos and frames to Jeremiah.
“If you wouldn’t mind, I need these in frames and hanged. I would like you to put Jay’s by the kitchen door instead of our original spot.”
Jeremiah nodded, taking what Reggie had given him. “Of course. Anything else?”
“No, no. I would like to just be alone for a moment.”
“Very well, then.”
Before Jeremiah could walk out the door, Reggie stopped him.
“Oh, and one more thing: I urge you to take some time for yourself when you’re done. Please. You look like you need it.”
Jeremiah was silent as he listened. He didn’t even respond, just left the room after Reggie was done talking.
Reginald sat back in his wheelchair, staring at one of the static screens of the monitors. He felt tears come to his eyes as he let them fall, scowling at the reflection of himself. This was not his fault. Jay’s death was not his fault. He kept telling himself that as more tears came down. This was the fault of Irving and Lionel. They started this, they did this to them, and they were going to pay. Lionel wanted this, Irving’s words taunted in his head, fueling his anger and hatred further. Lionel wants this. Lionel-
“...Jay?”
He suddenly was snapped out of his thoughts by Lazarus’s voice crackling through the speakers. He looked at the lobby’s monitor, seeing Lazarus stare at the recently hanged portrait of Jay. His shocked face shifted into one of mourning.
“He was a good man…” He whispered to himself, believing no one else was listening. “Maybe even the best of us.”
Reggie watched as he went to his usual spot with Rust, talking to him like nothing happened. Reginald wiped his eyes, letting a quiet laugh to himself. While Jay did die like a coward as he always was, at the very least he was liked…even loved. As Reggie left the room and went out the kitchen, wheeling himself behind the bar, he couldn’t help but to glance at the portrait, staring at it for a few moments.
Lazarus was right. He was the best among them all. As much as a scaredy cat he could be, panicking over the littlest of things and straying away from fights or confrontations, he had a good heart. More heart than Reginald or Jeremiah could ever have. Maybe that’s why letting him go, while feeling awful, wasn’t so hard to do.
Jay had hope. Far too much in Reggie’s eyes. It reminded him of his younger self, so desperate to believe that there was good in people. So easy to control and break.
It had killed them both.
#the hex#the hex game#i would have edited it a bit more since this is my 2nd draft but nahh#its done ok i dont want to work on it anymore LMAO#anyway i love jay#not only because same name but i feel so sorry for him#i think him and lazarus have a close bond and you cant take that away from me#the ship between him and those two came as a joke because haha reggie likes janitors#classic joke ship to serious pipeline#finally get to share my side characters alive au !!#a lot of my characterization and development for jay directly references this fic#so it made sense to post it first#anyway sorry for the long ramble in tags#im posting this at like 12 am so im tired WQDWQF#if you read the fic all the way ty ty tysm!! I rlly apperciate it <3
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I WANT TO WRITE FOR FE3H ... soon ...... vv soon ..........
#✩⤻; rambles !#sobs i like 3H sm. i dont have 3 hopes tho :(( <//3#ive been thinkin abt it again quite a bit these days (i say this but i went to sleep getting back into obey me)#and like tbh fe3h is there all the time but sometimes just stronger ?? like earlier this year and vv soon again most likely#i wna write smth for it ... finish some of those fics ive been drafting#IFHEUWHDOSNOFKS <3 <3 <3#also good morning !! its been a long time since i slept b4 12 am >< (just 15 minutes b4 but STILL)#hehe i got 10+ hours sleept today so i'm not tired anymore !! <3 i shld rlly sleep earlier damn. i'll try my best
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reading through my own WIPs and ahh i want to share them so badd but they're not finishedd😭😭
#esp one but that ones meant to be the 1st chap to a long-running fic and i rlly dont need anymore of those...#honestly i might rework it to post it on its own and mention that im planning on adding more chapters but that for right now its a one shot#bc im def gonna finish pale spirit before i ever even touch that one#idk wheres that post where theyre like: damn this is so good i hope the author continues it and realizing that fuck theyre the author#bc thats me rn ;-;
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People aren’t obligated to reblog your fanfics if they don’t enjoy the writing. You don’t get as much attention because you’re not as known. You haven’t been publishing as long as the “big authors” you pretend to love but then bash them immediately afterwards. It sucks, but you can’t buy people’s affection. You pretend to be more humble than everyone else but then get pissed so easily because you don’t have bragging rights.
i never said everyone has to enjoy my writing. also the Thing is; these big authors have been publishing for longer yeah !! and their writing is absolutely marvelous and i genuinely adore them. but. they also are popular bc they're seen as Better than other creators and put on a pedestal. which is both uncomfortable for them and Highly discouraging for others. and this is due to a cliquey mindset. it Is. as much as u like to pretend it isn't, it rlly rlly is. people can be just friends. there is nothing wrong with supporting ur friends' work more or being more invested in ur friends' work. the problem lies in the fact that many people just disregard other rlly talented creators in favor of the already popular ones (who are popular for a reason. their art / fics / wtv Are really good and i read their stuff too! not trying to put them down here, just trying to lift other people up) which makes for a fandom that is going to die out. and dont u fucking dare bring my fics and my engagement and me into this. maybe i was petty abt that before and i acknowledge that. but i haven't made a single post abt how my fics are getting less engagement in Months. the post i did make and the one ur probably so butthurt abt wasn't even initially abt cliques. it was just saying that we need to rb more and be more vocal of our support of creators in the tags or - wherever. NOT underrated / underappreciated / smaller / less popular creators. i was Very general abt it. creators. period. the talk of cliques came into play when i peer reviewed someone's tags on that post. bc they were extremely real and the problem of less vocal support affects "popular" creators too! ive been noticing that they're also getting less engagement. but mostly the people affected by it are creators in the fandom with no prior popularity. and it is an actual issue. also when the actual fuck have i ever bought someone's affection?? im too broke for that, my dude, i struggle to pay rent most months. and i've Not acted humble or holier than thou. the reason i have so many moots and friends is bc im a genuinely nice person who wants to support and uplift EVERYONE in this fandom. i do have personal beef with people, but im civil to Everyone. thats the reason i have friends. unlike you, i dont send anon hate bc im butthurt over one (1) post <3 hope that fucking helps <3 also the post wasnt even abt ME. bc i genuinely dont give a fuck abt people seeing and liking my writing anymore bc i have Grown Past That and just... adopted a give no fucks mindset. the post was abt the fandom slacking and not appreciating creators (PERIOD.) enough. it was never abt me. also bragging rights? babe nobody's bragging abt how they get more interaction. that's rude asf and entirely out of the question. and those popular writers ur talking abt who Could brag if they wanted to DON'T. bc they aren't despicable human beings who love to put others down. i'm Friends, or at the very least, friendly moots w the writers ur talking abt. and im not trying to put them down. im trying to lift other people up, which is smth u just Don't understand apparently. i even contributed in a whole ass event to shine light on talented, less popular writers in the fandom. bylerficrecweek? u might ive heard of it. it helped, or i like to Think it did, with helping people branch out, but the problem wasn't completely solved. people who are equally as talented as the already popular creators have talked abt their experience with engagement in the exact same post that ur so pissed abt. im going to put tags from various people under the cut so that u can see exactly how much people are affected by the prominent clique problem in the byler fandom. hope u have a good day and u wanna kiss me so bad it makes u look stupid 😚
THIS is the post im talking abt in question, the og post along with denise @bylertruther 's tags. i'm going to be putting screenshots of people's tags on this post with due credit. (to any of the people featured here : if u want me to remove ur tags feel free to say so!)
via @holyvirgilscriptures
via @runninguplenorahills
via @unwisewizard
via @apatheticlexicographer
via @fireflywitch
via @hawkwidows
via @sandinmybed
via @katimanki2
ANDDDDD thats it! hope u fucking realized that i was speaking generally and also Many people face this problem. kiss my ass 💋
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I got questions. What is your writing process? What inspires you? How do you plan out the scenes? How do you create the dialogues? Just for research purposes, how long did it take you to write love you with the lights on? I am a big fan of your writing, if that isn't obvious 😘
HI I LOVE QUESTIONS THANK YOU
What is your writing process?
I'll talk a bit more about my planning process later but it's essentially. Get idea. Brainstorm idea with friends (this is essential. it helps me go from a ~vibe to an actual plot). Write outline. Make playlist. Start writing fic.
As for the actual writing i love love love using sprints because they help me focus (luckily i have both a discord server and a discord gc that have people in it i can sprint with, and sometimes i just sprint one on one with a friend) but to be honest with you i am VERY easily distracted so while i could probably write more, i usually don't manage more than like 2 or 3k a day. once i did 5k and my friends were like Who Are You. Oh and also tea. And a snack. Those are essential to the writing process too
What inspires you?
Anything? Everything? love you with the lights out was based on a prompt i got a while back. already home was just because i love fake relationship aus and i wanted to do something different with it for landoscar. idk i dont think i rlly have one thing that always inspires me specifically??? i just Get Ideas lmao
How do you plan out the scenes?
Usually when I get an idea it's mostly vibes, so then I bring it to my friends like a cat with a dead mouse and i drop in on their doorstep and go "how about this" and then we talk about it for a bit and i'm like "GREAT YES YOURE RIGHT I CAN WORK WITH THIS" and then i write a very rough outline.
I do always try to have every single one of my scenes Mean Something? like it either teaches you something about the character or furthers the plot. There's a lot of stuff that got cut from love you with the lights out that objectively would've been cute or fun to do but didn't really add anything to the overarching story.
anyway the outline changes very often throughout writing , when i feel like a scene doesn't fit anymore or needs to do Something Else than what i originally intended for it, so i'm not rlly married to the outline. it just helps me keep focused and also i'm very forgetful so otherwise i forget where i was going with the story lmao
How do you create the dialogues?
THIS IS THE HARDEST QUESTION IM SO SORRY but i just??? write dialogue??? dialogue is one of the easiest part of writing for me which means its the hardest part for me to explain haha. it just comes rlly natural to me
How long did it take you to write love you with the lights on?
i looked it up and the first mention of me actually writing this fic in the gc was on the 26th of november and i posted it on 9th of january so roughly a month?? which is pretty standard for my longer fics. already home took me two months but only because i took two vacations in between lmao
#sorry if none of this is actualy helpful or makes any sense my writing process is mostly just. i write alkdalskd#but thank you this was fun <3
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9 (apart from the entire. alien clan bs no one but powerscalers care abt it lets be honest) and 10 for violent asks?
9. worst part of canon
XD ok i did just answer this but i literally answered with the alien shit (and 700) so ill answer again....
worst part of canon is honestly im gonna say the misogyny. i think we'd get a much richer viewpoint if the ingrained misogyny was actually commentary on the society insteada just kishimoto's bias. like i will never not be pissed off that at the end of the chiyo-sakura vs sasori fight that chiyo was like 'no sasori let us win' like fr? FR??!?!?
characters like hinata would also be infinitely better. temari and tenten who were by and large the more middle ground characters in terms of misogyny would still have benefited. ino and sakura's rivalary woulda been given more care and respect, and ultimately we woulda seen a more honest view of them and their relationship to each other. like there's so much that woulda been improved if the canon in the series wasn't ultimately so biased.
10. worst part of fanon
oof. i guess that depends on what fanon you lookin at. like i mostly focus on gaalee even if my fics themselves tend to be more political dramas than purely shipping, i still stick to that side of fandom, so fanon at large is harder to judge.
also gaalee as a whole has improved a great deal in the last... god almost decade. like the fandom used to be a cesspool of homophobia and transphobia and shit, but it's gotten a lot better largely through ppl speaking out about those things. so like i have a lot less to be critical of with the fanon that currently exists
which isnt to say im not critical of it or have nothing to say im just strugglin to think of anything cause the most obvious things--the seme/uke shit that used to permeate this particular ships fandom--is largely gone. im sure it still exists, but it's to a much lesser degree so i dont come up against it nearly as much...
i also feel like the gaalee fandom's other past issue--not letting go of DR and allowing for more exploration of these characters/their relationship--has also improved. so now i dont feel like everyone and their mother shipping these characters only ascribes to this one iteration of them. id say that DR was the fanon basis that everyone used for a long time, and unlike in other fandoms with more stories, because gaalee early on didnt have that ppl just clung to DR like without it everything would crumble.
so uh like my oldest and biggest gripes for this particular fandom are ultimately not rlly big issues anymore, which im forever grateful for because now the fanon is a lot more organic, diverse, and respectful of the characters.
i guess the only thing for me that i wish was different with the fanon was less boruto engagement. i kno everyone loves to make them a happy family with kids but its just not for me, and honestly i think that even sayin that is like... there's not THAT much boruto engagement per say but certainly more than i personally want
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BERNARD for the ask game >:)
HELPPP ok
first impression: ok i got into comics right around the time tim came out so my first impression was very much the general publics of "robin has a boyfriend!" i read the urban legends story about that first and thought it was fine! i liked it well enough. then bc it mentioned that bernard was a friend was high school i went back and read his original appearences and idk i just loved him... he was silly and he was posturing and nobody really liked him except tim LOL. his friendship and crush on darla was also rlly rlly sweet and i got rlly attached to the trio of them. i also rlly liked his og design w the longer hair and sunglasses. i thought the conspiracy theorist thing was rlly fun esp w how close hed get to the truth and tim would have to be like "what ur so crazy hahaha where would batman get MULTIPLE robins".
impression now: im gonna be honest my peak bernard phase was before tim drake robin started when i was really really excited to see more of this character id gotten attached to... erm. in a post tdr world ive kind of distanced myself from him bc he feels like an entirely different guy. which is fine! presumably hes aged and i wouldnt want to live like my high school self forever. that being said, the ways that he is the same feel a bit like a parody now. his conspiracies r way more outlandish and supernaturally based than they used to be, and they way theyve kind of written it so seems like he knew he was gay/bi back in highschool which doesnt rlly read as true to me having read those highschool appearances. hes just tims boyfriend, who knew he was gay before tim did and was just kind of waiting for him, i guess. i do like the chaos cult, i like that in the unspecified time away from tim his life was like. completely fucked. but now that tim is there it feels like hes just been flattened back out. the last few issues of tdr actually started focusing more on his issues specifically w his parents and the cult but. you know. cancelled.
favorite moment: he was so so scared to talk to darla he was like "losers like us cant talk to cool girls like her tim... shes friends with jocks" and then tim goes up to her and the jocks are all nice and polite normal guys and darlas like yeah u guys seem fun. and its just like. he was completely overreacting. like so much for his claims of being a social chameleon 😭 and then next issue darlas just a part of their group and theyre acting like theyve been best friends forever. i think for as much as he pretends to be like. a cool guy who doesnt care that he has no friends. its a rlly nice moment of showing that hes actually really anxious and self conscious and he wishes he could reach out to people but once he has the opportunity he latches on to ppl and doesnt let go. and i also rlly like when darla comes back and he finds out she has powers and his first reaction is like. my life sucks so bad can i come and be ur sidekick. like man:-( he was funny for it though! shoot ur shot
idea for a story: ok this is for a hypothetical "possible in comics" story and not like. a fic. so its not super bernard focused BUT they need to bring darla back now im not joking anymore where is she. idk what the status of shadowpact is post rebirth i dont think it exists anymore? but whatever. tim gets a case that leads him back to louis grieve where we can get a recap for ppl who didnt read or dont remember what happened back then. he can be like heres where i met bernard^_^ also the horrors. anyway the case has smth to do w the mob&darlas family and so he manages to get in contact w her and obviously shes like. i have no connection to that life anymore im not helping and i dont want to remember this. but reluctant team up👍 anyway bernard plays into this bc i think tim keeps it from him whats going on in the case bc he doesnt know that bernard was actually the first to know when darla came back and he doesnt want to upset him by bringing up old memories bc they Never talk about the shooting. and laura obviously isnt telling bernard bc she has no idea he and tim r dating so hes kept completely out of the loop and tim and darla/laura r NOT getting along. he keeps calling her darla and hes whinier than she remembers and theyre getting nowhere in the case bc they dont work very well together. i would also rlly want an issue where it goes over how each of them experienced the day of the shooting and there r small differences in each one to highlight how time has warped their memories and how theyre all a little unreliable. and each of them would be done by different artists 👍 anyway eventually bernard stumbles upon the case and hes pissed off at tim for keeping from him "darla was my friend too" you know. and smth he remembers about that day but the others dont (too caught up in the gang war/being robin) helps solve the case^_^ and hes able to help tim and laura get along again and they part on good terms w bernard and laura staying in touch. and at some point while he and tim r fighting he confronts tim for fucking off after the shooting and not reaching out to bernard until years later, and how bernard was completely left alone after one his best friends died and the other immediately moved away.
unpopular opinion: whyyyy does he want to be a chef its stupid sorry. emt or nurse bernard is the most important thing in the world to me i have no idea why they chose "chef" for his career path but it annoys me to no end. its another thing that just feels flat about his new character. like even if instead of being motivated by his history with unable to save darla from the shooting+the cult he was scared of wounds and violence and avoided it... why chef? idk itd be fun if he wanted to be like a radio host or smth that actually fit his personality. i think money should also be a bigger motivater for him bc he always read as like. upper middle class new money to me whos parents cut him off when he came out. like maybe if they showed him working as a line cook or an actual job i could understand him growing a passion for it but hes just like. a rich foodie. like what.
favorite relationship: he and tim i guess LOL who else does he have. him and darla for friendship and also i think it wouldve been cute if they had dated for a bit in highschool<3
favorite headcanon: i think he should be angrier at tim. for missing dates, for not telling him hes robin, for everything. hes too nice. or if theyre set on the nice thing i think it should be framed as him being a bit of a people pleaser/pushover post cult bc hes scared of tim leaving him and either way tim should have to address being kind of a shitty boyfriend. a nicer one is i think duke would be his favorite of tims siblings:-) hes not weird to bernard like i think the others would kind of be (shovel talk from dick would make me kms) and bernard never had any siblings so he kind of treats duke like a younger brother and tries to like, help duke with his homework, despite the fact that duke is definitely doing better in school than bernard did. i dont know if duke like. likes bernard but hell actually respond to his attempts at bonding unlike damian who has him blocked.
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FOOTNOTES
prequel
ੈ✩ liz, mexican, sagittarius , infj, romance geek
ੈ✩ i’d like if you used she/her pronouns. ( i dont rlly mind
ੈ✩ it would be cool if you followed @evil1iz (idk what i’ll do there yet).
ੈ✩ what’s on my cd?
ੈ✩ taylor swift, amy winehouse, radiohead, frank ocean, tyler the creator, faye webster
rules!
note that i write for the people i like at the time, i will stop liking them which leads to me not writing about them anymore
i no longer write for:
sebastian stan, percy hynes white (never will i write about them again)
I will take requests for hazel callahan!
no one is allowed to copy, translate, or repost my work on tumblr or on any other platform without my consent.
i do not write:
non/dubcon/cnc
a/b/o
incest/stepcest
mob tropes
ddlg or daddy kink
threesomes involving irl people (such as tom x harrison x reader, tom x zendaya x reader, etc.)
cop!au
self harm
priest! au
this blog is 18+. minors are prohibited from interacting with my explicit fics.
please don’t just serial like my fics without giving them a reblog or a comment. even something as simple as you keysmashing in the tags or using a few emojis motivates me to write more. it is very discouraging to put your heart into a piece of work for it to get 500+ notes and maybe only ten of those are reblogs.
lmk if you have any questions!
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HELLO DILAAA aaaa just found your new acc, so sorry that happened to you it must have been an awful experience i would def cry 😭 i went through your asks briefly to fully understand what happened and i have NEVER met an author who is as considerate of their readers and patient as you. its some of the reasons i love you and your blog so much ahh 💖💖
but please please take some time off to cool down so you can come back with a clearer mind! dont feel the need to rush into anything with all the requests and drafts that you had, especially with your plan for mila’s birthday special 🥲 we’ll wait for you, take as long as you need !! i hope you feel better soon dila 🥹
HELLAUR ANONNIE!! 🤩 i’m glad you were able to find it okay!’ I was worried since this is a new account i was on shadowban for a day or 2 so my announcement post about what happened to my account wasn’t showing up in the tags, and i was just hoping my readers would still find it somehow so they didn’t panic ❤️🩹❤️🩹 but that’s so sweet thank you so much it makes me happy to have such understanding, kind and patient readers like you 💖💖 like blr can be a bother, but ppl like you always make it better 🩷🩷🩷🩷
i’m currently in the process of making a decision for the future of my works ☹️☹️ after the blog deleting incident i just don’t rlly know where else to go with my blog here on blr anymore, i just feel a little demotivated and lost with my direction, so the current works may or may not be put on the back burner as a second priority to other works which i’ll talk about in a sec 🫶
if you guys didn’t know, one of my favourite authors on wattpad was the user baesuzi before she deactivated — i’m not sure if you guys know of her, but she was a poly writer who had so many good works before she disappeared from wattpad, and seeing how much i miss her works inspired me to consider focusing on finishing a poly fic with an actual plot line 👀👀
i already plotted out fate, vampire/rejected soulmate au as well as the rewrite for criminal love (the mafia au) and i think you guys would rlly like those ones bc of the elements included in them (and mila happens to somehow be in them) 🫶🫶🫶
it would be easier as well to write smth with an end in mind, compared to this 8th member au which is just continuous, and i would like o feel the satisfaction of completing smth you know?? so we’ll see how it goes but lmk if you guys have any opinions, bc i’m open to ideas - but just so you know, i don’t think i could ever fully drop this fic. it’s too close to my heart to let go of 🩷🩷
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affovelvet truly the ship ever
also i forgot to include it but clottedchip deserves more attention too!!
ship rambles below the keep reading button
honestly, the more i think abt princess x knight, the more i think princess is likely to see knight as more of an older brother figure than a romantic interest lol. and yea, idk why, she just gives me lesbian vibes lmao. but if u ship them thats fine too
seamoon usually gets the short end of the stick bc they're both legendaries and devsis like to just ride the rarity bias wave instead of giving them a proper story, but i enjoyed their crk bond story! i like the idea of sf being a singer. i just wished there were more seamoon fics </3 despite its popularity, theres barely anything on ao3 bc everything there is espresseleine...
speaking of espresseleine, i considered putting it in the "ship i dont like anymore" category bc i dislike how it overwhelmingly dominates the fandom to the point where its hard to find content of other ships. but actually i never liked it in the first place lol, i've always just been pretty neutral about it, so i decided not to include them
for sparkherbvamp, i dont include mint, because i see mint as being the token straight friend lol. i think juice bar regulars are a tight gang, but mint is with cocoa while the other three have their own thing going on. also, as a side note, i think herb totally smokes weed. just gets high as shit all the time. and him and vamp will trip out together lmao while spark is their trip sitter who always makes sure they dont get into too much trouble
darkmilk is in the controversial ship box bc ppl keep misinterpreting their story. i think theres definitely an argument to be made abt how milk idolises choco to an unhealthy degree and the relationship would probably be unhealthy and have a power imbalance, but i don't think it would be like, outright abusive/manipulative or anything. i dunno, theyre both adults, i think they could make it work. actually, probably any ship with pome could fit in this controversial box too, like pomelico, cuz the fandom usually interpret it as abusive and problematic. which isnt wrong, it definitely would be lol. but it would be an interesting ship to explore in a fictional context. so add pomelico and pome x starfruit there
for the "ships i didnt initially like", just to be clear i DO like those ships now lol. i never finished odyssey so i never rlly got to see wildchips dynamic or chemistry so thats why i wasnt into it initially but i basically absorbed gin's love for them. also the fanart is cute. affocream i didnt like initially bc i LOVE affo and i used to hate clotted, like, a lot lmao. but after following affocream artists for a long while, ive grown to like them a lot
i dont rlly have much to say abt the other ships. chilirye and raspblossom is mainly bc of their bond stories (and i especially think raspblossom deserves way more love). and wiz x proph x cinna is bc of piano lol.. i love cinna and piano got me to love wiz and proph too just thru how much he talks abt all of them
and yea thats it. thanks for reading the long ship post that i thought about way too much
#ave rambles#crk#i would tag crob but ehh#its mainly crk exclusives and the only crob exclusive is cinna#anyway everyone should think about affovelvet more and make more content of them#please im so starved for content#praying for affovelvet interaction one day...
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Yk those people who abandon their writing after a cliffhanger and then just make an announcement saying “im sorry guys i dont have an interest in writing anymore” then takes everything down, i respect their decision but in my opinion its kinda annoying 😭😭 especially when the plots gets so good and then theyre just cutting it off -🥝
Please dont do that with us 😔😔
well, as a writer i don’t find it annoying cus i understand. writing a fic is a lot of work and if the author isn’t having fun then why force them to write it yk? you can always leave them long comments on how much you appreciate it to try and give them the motive to pick it up again but you shouldn’t get too upset with them authors are human 😭 if it rlly bothers you maybe ask them to spoil the ending of the fic for you? idk if you’ve ever written anything but the fics that take you hours to binge take days to plan out, so don’t be annoyed when an author wants to take a break or doesn’t know how to continue it and doesn’t want to!!
well i can’t promise anything lmfao ☠️ if you look at my ao3 i’m guilty of abandoning fics even tho many ppl wanna read them and sometimes i take them down just to declutter my account 😞 i think with smaus it’s different bc in my opinion they’re easier to write since it’s majority photoshop and just snippets of writing so i don’t get overwhelmed 🫡
🤷 and i’m writing btl cus i like the plot and will come back to reread it later lmfao
but don’t be upset with me if i ever discontinue it! 😭 i have a life irl too! 😞 don’t be mad if i take breaks pleek
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Kei huh? From &team? i always liked him and EJ (buuuuut ooooh Ej......love Ej) ....have you seen the muscles on K though? Man is unreal. he's like a machine.
Seriously, don't rush route 1. that is seriously a masterpiece in the making and it shouldn't be posted unless you had rendered your fullest thought process into it. I totally understand that the spark died down, and that's fine, those idiots wont get to enjoy it because they'll be long gone by then. the spark will lighten back up again and when it does, you'll slay. it is truly a fic story that deserves patience and time because its a remarkable read. for someone like me to say that and be patient for route 1's finale, truuuuuuuust me....girl you're going to find out soon that i'm probably the biggest route 1 fan of them all. you'll see after a bit. and taking a break from enha isn't a bad thing, it's good to switch it up <3 in the meantime my yuanwon-ie or my kei-yuan, whichever you're in the mood for ;) it's musing-tuesday goodness for you.
okay but seriously......what in the actual hell Mr. Yang, Jungwon!?
On a side note, even though we dont know what we look like, i can already tell you're beautiful bc creative minds come in very pretty packages. <3
🦋
#@🤡anon #guessyouregonnamissout #R1isgoingtobesoooooogoooood #andyouaintgonna #getanyofit #karamaisreal #rememberthat #to🤡anon #itsokay #westillwilling #toloveyou #andgiveyou #goodshittoread #eventhough #youwakeup #everymorning #takingout #yourfrustrations #onothers #werehere #foryou #becauseweown #thisshit #andthankyou #forbeinginspiration #tomynextvillian
KEI IS INDEED A MONSTER- and yes EJ lol idk which one of them is my bias wrecker anymore 😭😭 they just rlly had their unique qualities and charms it's hard to choose but Kei won my heart for now >< BUT OMG i know I've said this many times alrd but truly I'm thankful for these long long paragraphs, i love each word!!! I feel so appreciated and loved by this, Nana !! I appreciate u sm, and reading this gives me alot of energy and motivation boost to keep going <3 THANK U VERY VERY MUCH FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART 💓💓 yuanwon-ie and kei-yuan is so freaking cute lol im crying 😭😭
THIS WON PICS THO, IM SO PAMPERED WITH WON PICS <33 😩😩😩 NANA U R THE BEST THANK U, U PUT SM EFFORT AND TIME ON ME LIKE ILYYYY???
ALSO I LUV THE TAGS LMAOO IT MADE ME WHEEZED 😭✋✋✋ U MADE MY DAY TYYYSM 💓💓
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Ur art gives me life, it’s got so much positive chaos energy!!! And, are there any tropes in HalBarry fics in the fandom (or any fiction tropes in general too) that you don’t jive with?
THANKYOU SM WHAAAT!!!! 💖💖
and the fanfic thing i could talk abt for a WHILE oh boy-
mmmm slight NSFW warning
- okay so for halbarry fics. MMMMM there’s soooo much i could complain abt, im rlly rlly picky abt fics in general so. number one, i hate it when barry is written overly feminine what is with that why do people do that ?? that’s just annoying. being a bit awkward and mostly keeping to yourself does not equal feminine.
number two, i will immediately click off if hal is written as just a loudmouthed asshole, that’s just annoying and wildly out of character and i think alot of ppl agree with me on this one
number threeeee- when there’s sex scenes and it’s way too dom/sub. i hate that, it doesn’t matter who’s in which category, i hate it altogether. it’s not them, it’s not how it would go. i dont like sex in general (i like to joke abt it, i think it’s funny but that’s it) and try to avoid it but if the story i’m reading is interesting enough then i will read through it
- this is rlly small and nitpicky and not rlly a trope and has nothing to do with hal actually, but any fic where wally refers to barry as dad instead of uncle barry. now hear me out- i love the wally sees barry as a father figure thing like yeah that’s basically his dad. but the “uncle barry” term needs to stay because it’s so much more endearing to me i cant explain it. i love it in the same way that i love dick calling bruce by his name or B despite bruce actually being his legal parent. i dont rlly have a HUGE problem with it, i just prefer uncle barry. there was ONE fic i read that i was okay with it tho because of the circumstances i guess and the way it was written in there made it really sweet, but most of the time no i dont like it
i cant think of anymore for those rn
- uuhhmm fics in general… i read aLOT of richard centered fics. so uhm, this isnt a trope, but i dont like any dick grayson pairing at all. if he’s paired romantically with anyone then i’m immediately turned off
- i always hated coffee shop aus, flower shop aus, soulmate aus bother me alot idk why, HANAHAKI DISEASE. GOD THE ANGER THAT ONE IGNITES IN ME. my brain is pretty dead right now to remember any rlly specific tropes i dislike rn but let’s just say i am extremely picky
#asks#thankyou for the ask!!#whoa man that took forever#i couldnt think of things the second i started to type
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I was talking to someone abt how my cat always meows in front of my bedroom door because he wants to be let inside (even when I'm not in my room). And they told me that I should put up a sign for him that says "gone fishing" so he knows I'm not in the room and I immediately thought abt Giann Von Hagen Standard Operating Procedure x4 speedrun(tm) bc I literally reread the fic yesterday (it's amazing btw, I love the Von Hagens, I love polynxx that fic was like a dream come true). Btw idk if u even remember this one but I still think about your 'how to care for your dear friend who is currently stuck in his magical serpent form' fic on a daily basis.
omg ur cat sounds like a darling!!! we also have a cat here at home, owned by my older sister, and this cat also loves to sit at the doorway and meow Very Loudly but specifically when people have left the room and she wants people In The Room to Witness Her
witness her doing what??? not much. our cat just likes having a human present javkfjhaskf
cat ramble aside, hhHHH im so glad you enjoyed both those fics you mentioned 🥺🥺🥺
"standard operating procedure (x4 speedrun)" is going down in my personal hall of fame for many reasons, the biggest one being the fact that it was the first WIP in years that i managed to start, update, and complete without getting distracted by another other fic. genuinely, i have no idea how i did that back then i'd like some answers from past!zak...wHAT WAS YOUR SECRET?? AND HOW CAN I DO IT AGAIN 😭😭😭
i definitely have not forgotten about "how to care for your dear friend who is currently stuck in his magical serpent form", this WIP is very dear to me and ive mumbled a bit on twitter abt how i wanna turn marius back into a human and finish that fic once and for all with its 4th chapter before 2022 ends (an entire year-wait for probably de-noodle-ification and soul repair jahvsfkjahsfa) but...im very...Very Very hesitant....to make any promises whatsoever on my fic writing progress and schedule. like ajhsvfkajhsfvaks at this point, i just dont talk abt what im writing anymore bc i never stick to schedule anyway so. it will be as much as a surprise to me as it is to readers when my WIPs will update!! JHAJHDASJFH
still, it's rlly rlly nice to see that you enjoy both fics :')!!! the dragon!marius fic especially since it's from a while back and it's imcomplete haunts me everyday along with every other WIP i havent updated OTL
i too love the von hagens very much <3!! thank u for telling me abt ur cat! and the sign! and that u think abt my fics :'D
#creckar#asks#also man. //smacks marius like a car meme. this dude can fit so many of my multichapter works#two. theres two thats marius-centric multichapter fics. but it'S WEIRD THAT IT'S HAPPENED TWICE
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hello ppnuggie <3
can i have a lost in space match up please :3?
i go by sunny, my pronouns are she/they and im omnisexual!!
i have short, curly ginger hair and a lot of freckles,, im planing on getting little solar systems tattoed on diffrent clutters of freckles which is not really relevant ig but,, freckles
my eye color is a mix of blue and green and people have actually argued over what my eye color is at school lol,, i dont really have an aesthetic but i do have these really cool pants with doodles on them and a little ufo on the back pocket that says "i need space"
i have a very cheery personality around friends and i would literally die for them,, i dont express myself around my family as much because they can be really judgy and im really sensitive,, and if im around someone i absolutely hate/someone who has wronged me significantly, i will let them know exactly how i feel - if i do have an issue with someone i will always try to solve the issue in a civil mannar without hurting their feelings,, i rely on communication a lot and its an important thing to me with different relationships
but other than that, im very friendly with new people and friends, im very open and try very hard not to be intimidating, because as an antisocial and socially anxious person ik how it feel when talking to knew people,, im definitely more confident over social media and texts than i am in person.
im an artist!!! im graduating a year early from high school and going to one of the country's best art schools!! ive had art set as acareer path in my brain since the 5th grade,, art is my life
i also dabble in creative writting, mostly fanfics but its just so incredible to come up with stories,, im a big book worm,, if im not drawing or watching cartoons/syfi films im reading, could be ao3, wattpad, tumblr fics, poetry, or a physical book i bought, i will read it
i love syfi and action that simmer in some romance ya know,, it just hits diffrent,, especially alien robot themed syfi,, idk my brain just eplodes when i see space robots
i hate being surrounded by clutter, my surroundings affect my mental state so i try to be as clean as possible to keep my attitude and motivation up :))
i have anxiety + social anxiety,, especially if im alone in crowded/public spaces- went on a college field trip once in middle school and i had a break down at taco bell because none of my friends were there and i was surrounded by strangers,, students or not,,
i hate broccoli and coliflower and public speaking/presentation assignments
im sorry if this is too much? ive never asked for a match up before but the ones ive seen are kinda lengthy so im not too sure :// i might do another match up ask in the future for tfp if its still open i love those funky dudes
anyways thank you for reading my tf stuff and requesting it was the highlight of my week !!! :D
ahh tysm for requesting !! 🥹🥹🙏❤️ im so sorry i havent been able to reply to the comments and stuff you make on my posts 😭😭 i promise im not ignoring you ,, its just this isnt my main blog but instead a side blog ,, my main one i dont bother or toucb anymore 😭😭 but my dms are definitely open if you ever wish to talk or so <33 and np !! i cant wait to see the finished result for the request :D i like your work so much 🥹 its rlly good !! heres you matchup <33 under the thing ,, and dw ,, you can request again for tfp bc no ones rlly requested so far 😭🙏 congrats on the art school tho ! :D hope you do have fun with that !!
𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐃 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 : robot !! :D
𝐈𝐍𝐂𝐋𝐔𝐃𝐄𝐒 :
• he would stay around you often ,, not bothering to spend time with others and instead stick close to you unless you told him not to
• hes very curious about you ,, lights swirling around inside the glass on his face ,, he finds you interesting and nice to be around
• whilst hes not all that sure about humans just yet ,, as they all act differently from one another ,, he does feel safer and more comfortable around you
• whenever he catches glimpses of your drawings he tilts his head to the side ,, wondering about them in his mind
• he loves to see your drawings ,, how each varies differently from one to another ,, it just makes more memories for him
• he has tried to draw something for you before ,, wanting to indulge in this littke artistic hobby of yours and make something ,, though it was only in the dirt as he doesnt know how to use pencils and stuff yet
• he’ll help you with public spaces and crowds and strangers as best as he can ,, making it known hes there for you shall you need some reassurance <3
𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐎
the small stick glided around in the dirt ,, shapes starting to form as he moved it about. he had his mind focused on a plant form ,, gazing back and forth at it as he tried to mimick its shaping. the lights swirled softly inside the glass ,, hand moving to make another shape.
once finished ,, he turned to look up at you. the lights never once stopped swirling ,, a soft hum coming from robot as he awaited for your reaction. laid there in the dirt had been a mishapened flower ,, the one just a little bit in front of you two.
he hoped you liked it somewhat ,, hoping you’ll enjoy his creation as much as he enjoys yours. the lights slowed their pace ,, blue gazing into your eyes as he awaited.
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I wan do dis but all at once uwu
1. It was a long time ago, i found teenietots in the very beginning of it, and i got into it as a coping mechanism!
2. Usually between 2 and 5
3. Kinda? My bf acts as a cg for me in daily life, but not officially in my tiny time. I want him to be my cg tho
4. Going to build a bear!!!
5. I have stuffies and a paci and a sippie and chewy toys ^^
6. I do! Im a kitty!
7. Big me is more mischievous and sad, but little me is v sweet and playful but big me and little me are mostly the same
8. Hmmm i love to draw a whole lot but i also like to color what ive drawn
9. Heh... i dont have any i dont rlly follow any
10. Both! Its involuntary a lot but sometimes i can do it on purpose if i need to!
11. Not especially? Is that when you imagine yourself as a younger age rather than actually regressing?
12. I think so, but they are nightmares...
13. Burber..
14. Yes a whole lot!
15. Yep! My bf!
16. Kitten! But only my bf can call me that, so sweetheart otherwise :3
17. Being sleepy! Or holding toys!
18. Not super easy.. its easy to get me out of it but thats good bc i need to go to work and stuff
19. I think its kinda toxic and cliquey and mean so i stay away from it mostly. I still dont want dd1g or abd1 or n2fw interacting tho
20. No, only if it was a solkat fic or if it was catgirl!reader × male cg and was neutral enough that i could imagine me and my bf uwu
21. Very! No tickles pls... hehe
22. Omg im such a homestuck, but like. Maybe signless? He seems so gentle uwu
23. Sanrio and tamagotchi everywhere! Also a soft big crib that me and my bf can sleep in with one of those curtain things that drapes all the way around the bed ^^ i also want so many stuffies and video games and ofc my computer uwu
24. Not rlly, i like things that are physical hehe
25. Stress and trauma mostly
26. Ya i listen to vocaloid and music box stuff hehe
27. Not officially! But my bf says i have to eat real food once a day and im not allowed to say that he doesnt love me, he says i absolutely must believe he loves me >3< i have self esteem issues and trust problems bc of trauma ...
28. Im kittenish, playful and quiet(nonverbal) and i like snuggling and affection a lot more than usual!
29. I used to be! But not anymore...
30. I think more people need to just have fun with it and stop taking everything so seriously/personally
#agere#age regression#sfw agere#agedre#age dreaming#agere community#petre#pet regression#sfw petre#30 days of agere#long post
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