#but he's someone thats aware of things
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Birds of a Feather
previous / next
#my art#feralnette au#birds of a feather#long tags#sorry I went apeshit in the tags#LETS SAY IT ALL TOGETHER NOW#I - M - A - G - OOOOOOOOO#its fun drawing marinette's back to Alya and having her appear stout and unstoppable and totally logical#and then you see her face and she's like two seconds from completely snapping and is keeping it together by a thread#as a note just because mari feels very certainly abt smth doesnt mean she's right. feelings can be valid and also irrational#in the throes of grief she decided it was better to be alone than to lose someone again so she started pulling away#and lila made pulling away very very very easy to do#shes also vaguely aware she's being unfair in pinning this on alya which is why she started spinning the drain on cockmoth again#legitimately all the shit that's happened to her wouldn't have been so catastrophic if he was never in the picture and she knows it#but the bitterness of her bestie choosing a fantastic liar over her at the worst of times stiiiiiings#alya's personal timing was bad but lila really took advantage of the fact that marinette had been acting off and weird#she basically clocked marinette as being unstable from SOMETHING and made up a lie about her#knowing she wouldn't have the strength to defend herself#between her social life going tachy bc of lila and losing fu in a way that felt like personhood death marinette was really put on the spot#and alya doing her thing of busting in there and assuming her bias is correct was a terrible combo#essentially marinette is highly unstable and alya is just realizing that#busting in and giving her a lecture when she's slightly hysterical and definitely delirious from exhaustion is NOT the way#to show her she's self sabotaging#cuz thats just gonna make her double down on self sabotaging. bc marinette will not accept that she is also a CHIIIIILD
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So i made this lil transparent worm-on-a-string Hiccup a while back
Im leaving him here for yall to watch while i go do a Thing
Im sure when i get back he wont be in any precarious situations, or unsavory circumstances, or anything of that ilk
Anyways
Have fun
Ill be back
#httyd books#httyd#book hiccup#how to train your dragon#how to train your dragon books#to be explicitly clear about this post: i am uploading this guy with the idea that someone may copy/paste him into various situations#like historical photos/bowls of soup/over an active volcano whatever#thats why he's transparent so you dont have to photoshop or whatever if ya wanna do it#i also dont expect anyone other than like my friends to do this#because Social Anxiety is a thing and interacting with strangers is Uncomfortable so like not everyone's gonna wanna do it#and thats cool if you just wanna reblog the boy cause you like him without edits or anything#but also anyone can slap this guy into a photo or whatever i dont care#i just wanna see my guy in situations lol#i feel like i had more to say but idk so#im aware this is a long explanation for this but#i like explaining to be clear#recently had a test that had very little instructions and i didnt know what to do so#im also probably just in an extra explaining mood cause of that lol
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stultifera navis rerun AKA thinking about Iberia hours again because a lot of the Iberians have such fascinating relationships with the concept of home but specifically Thorns and Lumen are eating at my brain. like where do you call home when the place that is your home Just Fucking Hates You? Elysium's rewinding breeze specifically makes a point to hammers home how differently Iberia treats its Liberi and its Aegir
(which is especially interesting since this comes right after a conversation where Purestream commented on how despite Leizi being a high ranking government official, there are still some experiences that are universal for all Yanese people - because the experience of what Iberia itself is like isnt universal for all Iberians)
But all that being said, Thorns also straight up states that Aegir is not his home, and yeah, how could it be? How could a place you've never been to, never truly known, ever be your home? How could it ever feel like a home?
so where do you go when the place that you are from hates your people and the place your people are from is completely unfamiliar and alien to you? Thorns' answer at the end of the conversation with Aya is: my home is where i chose it to be. my home is where there are people I care about and people who care about me
in the complete opposite direction, Lumen's oprec asks: why do you still stay in a place that wants you gone? because the people of Gran Faro like Jordi well enough but when push comes to shove, they will want the only Aegir in town gone
and yet, when Rald the messenger offers him a chance to leave Jordi turns him down and when he's forced to escape Gran Faro after the people there literally try to send him to his death (or worse) at the hands of the Inquisitors he keeps trying to go back because like everyone in stultifera navis, Jordi is clinging to his own dreams of a golden age
but the shape of that dream is unique to every character and for Jordi, his dreams are deeply, inseparably bound to the Eye of Iberia, the legacy his parents left behind
and it's this dream of becoming someone great, of bringing about that golden age that his parents devoted their lives to help create that ties Jordi to this nothing town because despite everything, despite the mistrust of the townsfolk and the hostility of the Inquisition and the danger from the ocean, he simply cannot leave it behind
(or, because i personally dislike the official translation,)
"I just see this place as my home"
so yeah. not sure what overall point i was trying to make here i'm just. deeply in love with these stories about chosing what is and isn't your home, of saying you will not call a place your home because it has given you no reason to or saying you consider a place your home even though it has given you every reason not to. deeply unwell about them <3
#arknights#asto speaks#not much of an essay writer i just keep thinking about them and i need to force other people to think about them too#thorns story fucks me up bc like. this whole almost found family adjacent idea of like#maybe home isnt something decided by your birth but something you can chose based on what truly matters to you#it just gets to me. i guess.#jordi gets to me in a completely different direction there's nothing personal about it i just find his story *fascinating*#just a guy. a completely normal guy. an absolute nobody caught up in these dreams of greatness while also fully aware of his own normalcy#but never letting either of those overshadow the other. never losing that self awareness or that fuckin obsessive determination#god. what a Character#i love jordi so much like genuinely#i joke a lot about him being just a Guy but thats also kinda like the best thing about him#the fact that he is the way that he is and does all the things he does despite being just a Guy#gently holds#for context i was so hyped about new iberia lore when sn was announced i read the whole thing as soon as it dropped on cn server#cuz someone uploaded all the story sections to bilibili right after it came out#and '我只是把这里当作自己的故乡啊' fucking hit me SO HARD#in like the greater context of elysium demanding to know why hes risking his life in like 5 different ways to return to gran faro#because yeah jordi just doesnt want to leave his home but like we the audience knows the full *weight* of what that home means to him#and the weight of the dreams that made him chose to see Gran Faro as his home and to refuse to let go of that#thats why i like the original a lot more than the translation i think like it really emphasises that active *choice*.#this is the place jordi has *decided* to see as his home and he knows what that means and what it means to him#side note the part on thorns might not actually age well depending on whether hg decides to ever release more aulus lore#i mean i'll gladly take the L if it means more aulus and/or thorns lore like#i just wanna know what (if anything) is tying him to iberia yknow#ak#iberiaposting
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#lemme barf a little in the tags but like. the way he doesnt notice anything until trent actually touches him#at that point he becomes aware of not only his surroundings and his friends but also his pain. see the hand going for his jaw and the wince#the minimal celebrations. how the best friends. who are known for hugging. only fist bump him. i'd expect this from hook#but not from chuck and trent too. also also the look they exchange behind ocs back? YEAH#and as someone pointed out oc came in with the backpack but left without it. i'd say thats normal he usually does leave with just the belt#but also. hes so fucking enthralled by that thing that he doesnt wanna hide it. he needs to carry it away in his hands himself#hes not right and its intriguing and hot tbh lmao#anyways thats all. im just thinking a lot right now mmmm#orange cassidy#trent berreta#chuck taylor#rocky romero#hook#aew#all elite wrestling#aewedit#wrestlingedit#wrestling#night gifs#best friends#trent?#my beloved#shitposter greg#sweet little clementine#(rp blogs dont reblog; saving and other personal use with tag credits is fine)
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i have bad news for anyone who expects mental illness to be family friendly
^ yeah!
#thats a pretty good summary of it.#ask#anon#arsenic#ok ill rant about the au and mentall illness— nick's not diagnosed with anything. doesnt mean he doesnt#- /have/ anything.#mostly im thinking npd and bpd but this dude just. is not self aware at all. nobody ever told him. oops#im also giving him low empathy because i'll give low empathy to any character im obsessed with#(read: im projecting) (same way im making sunny trans. have i ever mentioned sunny's trans in this AU)#anyway. sunny's autistic but ive said that one before#nick is a psychiatrist's wet dream i think.#for the record i dont think people with npd or bpd are evil. im not evil. my friends are not evil#this AU doesnt exist to be good representation! sorry#anyway narcissistic abuse is not a real thing and aspd was made up by psychiatrists who thought that surely people being violent-#- means they're mentally ill. they based the diagnostic criteria off of criminals. the dsm is made up and none of this is real#i could rant about the way PDs are treated for hours. do NOT give me an opportunity to do so#this AU is not good rep but if someone starts calling nick a psychopath or a sociopath i will bite !#omori#rant
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Hello! I'd like to request "There's an 80% chance of this working out" from List 5 with Mahiru and Mikoto! Horoscope Girl and Tarot Boy...what will they do...
Ooh this one was so fun, thank you!! It was really neat learning about tarot :0 (It'll take a bit longer, but I got carried away with the idea and also started writing something of Mikoto doing a reading for Fuuta hehe). It always makes me sad that Mahiru doesn’t trust Mikoto at first, so it was really fun to picture them bonding over things like this during T1! I never thought of them having that in common and my mind has been opened to this duo asdfsdfds
“Alright, I’m going to need you to manifest your energy as hard as you can.”
Mahiru squeezed her eyes shut. Her face scrunched up in concentration. She let out a little hum of effort as she poured all her emotions into the card deck under her fingertips.
“Uh… maybe not that hard, Mappi.”
She looked up with a giggle. “Right, right! I’m just so curious!” Well, she was curious about how a tarot reading itself would go, not about what it would tell her. Mahiru was fairly confident of her upcoming verdict, and the cards would only confirm it. So far only one prisoner had been named guilty, and everyone could see he was just a bully. Mahiru was nothing like him. She would be forgiven. She just knew it.
Mikoto started shuffling the cards. “Are you ready?”
“Oh, yes!”
To be honest, she’d had her suspicions about Mikoto for a while. His smile was too perfect at all hours of the day. (Even someone as cheery as her knew a smile like that couldn’t be consistently real.) She’d seen enough cheaters who chatted as easily as he could with everyone here. His nicknaming habit was a cute one, but she was keeping her eye on how informally he acted with little basis for friendship. She knew for sure he was a dangerous flirt when he’d grabbed her palm to read her fortune, launching into talk of life and love lines. However, none of that meant he was lying about his tarot expertise -- so who was she to refuse his offer to read her cards?
Her eyes glimmered as she watched Mikoto lay out three cards before her. Though he used the same theatrics he had for the others, she was just as entranced. It was just so magical, she thought.
Mikoto circled his palms over the cards. “We’re going to begin by looking at the past and present to get a bit of perspective before we move on to what your future will hold, alright?” He’d already explained that the cards couldn’t read one’s future as much as they offered self-awareness. He said it was all about being in tune with oneself, and the world. She was sure someone like him was already perfectly aligned within himself, but she could admit her heart carried her away at times…
Mahiru held her breath as he flipped the first card. She studied his face for any trace of negativity. Seeing her worry, he slipped back into his usual smile. “For the past, we have the Reversed Page of Cups,” he said. “This suit deals with emotions and intuition.”
Mahiru nodded, excited at the accuracy. Her past certainly had its share of intense feelings.
“This card in particular may mean emotional insecurity, or immaturity. It could also point to an avoidance of reality, something that’s not being faced head-on.”
She nodded, with a little less excitement this time.
“It also represents a specific person who influences you.” His face lit up, recalling Mahiru’s favorite topic. “Pages can represent a companion! Is there a romantic someone in your life who may have been causing some emotional insecurity?”
Picking up on the way her face paled, he said quickly, “or maybe not! They could be a messenger, or a childlike figure, or…” He reached for the next card. “Moving on, uh, to the present. Ah! This is a really good sign.”
She perked up.
“Here’s Justice. It’s fairly self-explanatory, representing the consequences that follow your actions. It’s about cause and effect, and accountability. It means things are happening according to karma, which is natural.”
He turned over the last card. “And finally, when looking to the future, we’ve got the Two of Swords. Swords deal with the mind -- conflict and communication. That’s… interesting.”
Mahiru’s eyes grew round. “What’s interesting?” She slid the card closer to herself, studying the picture. A blindfolded woman with two swords. There was water, and the moon. Was that bad? Was the woman unhappy? She was all alone. What did that mean?
“Don’t worry,” Mikoto soothed. “It just means you’ll make a big choice. Well, actually, it means you’ll get stuck, so you need to make a choice. I just thought it was funny, we’re here wondering about Es’ decision, but it turns out you’re the one who needs to make a decision.”
“Ah,” she breathed a sigh of relief.
“Now we can look at the big picture. It seems like some of your past problems may have come from emotional issues, so you’ll want to keep an eye on your emotions going forward.” Mahiru shifted. “The fact that we pulled Justice should reassure you about being here. I’ve heard some of the others complain that they don’t belong here, or it’s all a mistake, but this card is showing you that it’s just cause and effect. The events of your life are running their natural course.”
It was true, even she had been unhappy that her actions were being labeled that of a murderer. After all, those were an entirely different breed of people, right? Someone like Fuuta, who was guilty. People like her and Mikoto could never raise a hand to another. It was good to know, then, that this was all meant to be.
“And going forward, you’re gonna want to make sure you’re being decisive. Face your problems head-on, and communicate. If you can do that, things will be alright.” He folded his hands on the table, finished his reading.
Mahiru thought for a moment. A smile crept onto her face, growing larger and brighter by the second. She clasped her hands together. “That’s wonderful! Thank you so much for doing this. It’s told me everything I need to know.”
“Yeah?” He picked the cards up, shuffling them back into the deck. She pulled a slip of paper from her pocket, pointing to some lines scribbled down.
“Yes. I’ve been jotting down some birthdays, see? I’ve had to make a few guesses until I get more information, but if Es is either a Scorpio or a Virgo… as a Capricorn myself… we’re very compatible, look! Capricorns have excellent communication with both of those signs, and you said that’s what I’ll need to get through this tough decision.” She turned the paper over to reveal more notes. “On top of that, my extraction is scheduled right before my birthday, during Capricorn’s governing period. At that time, things will be aligned more in my favor.”
Mikoto’s eyebrows raised at her notes, impressed. “Wow! You have this all worked out, huh? If that’s the case, you seem very prepared to have a successful interrogation.”
She steepled her fingers. “I’d say there’s an 80% chance of this working out!”
“Definitely!”
He returned her beaming smile. Things would be perfect. Nothing to worry about.
#milgram#mikoto kayano#mahiru shiina#*narrator voice* and then she didnt communicate or face her conflict head-on.#it was too late to switch pov but im obsessed with how many tarot resources talk about being in tune with yourself and your identity#being secure and aware of your own mind#and just how clever it is that the symbol was chosen for mikoto...#tihtbilwy released just a few days before her birthday - thats so cute!#featuring @snakes-and-fluff's hc that mikoto can do palm reading and other things! i really loved that#there must have been such a crazy atmosphere in the prison during mahirus interrogation/verdict#halfway through all interrogations and only one person voted guilty - and hes the most obviously brash and loud one#i feel like everyone would be feeling really safe -- an then someone as sweet as mahiru gets her verdict. everyone would start to worry#if anyone who knows more about tarot/astrology sees any glaring flaws let me know lmao -- i did my best looking things up 👍#thank you so much for the request!! it was such a blast#(though also im yelling at you for sending it because ive been roped into reading my partners grandmothers cards possibly daily after#she caught me looking stuff up 😂😂😂)#drabbles
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me trying to explain why i think mike is gay and is aware that he’s not in love with el cause he has feelings for someone else since atleast the end of season 3, but he also doesn’t know the feelings attached to the painting are will’s yet and he was consciously lying in the monologue by trying to follow what will told him in the van (giving el the courage to fight on by emphasizing her abilities as a superhero, something that makes her different and “better” apparently!) cause he thinks that’s the only way to save el...so the painting is a plot device for byler to get together (and mlvn bones cause it made mike misunderstand what el truly needed, leading to his words not being enough for el to win and save max in time) but not in the sense that mike fell in love with will’s feelings for him or the person behind the painting, just that it was used to show who’s always been the right person for mike based on compatibility and understanding and true unconditional love, and for him to realize that things aren’t hopeless and his feelings are requited once he finds out the full truth behind the painting cause without it he would’ve continued forcibly conforming due to societal expectations and pressure, and trapping himself in a loveless relationship because of his fear of losing el and hurting her
#so im finally coming out as a full fledged gay mike truther 🙏#but there are certain things im not in agreement with when it comes to how gay mike truthers commonly perceive the narrative#like mike figuring out will in the van scene...cause i dont think hes there just yet#hes still too wrapped up in low self worth to ever comprehend that someone loves him the way will does#but i do agree that he’s self aware of his own feelings for will and has been struggling/dealing with it#i think s5 will reveal all his internal conflicts surround it#so i dont think hes gonna have a “feelings realization” in s5 but rather come to terms with/accept said feelings#the reason i believe this is bc if s5 is when he’ll figure out his own feelings#i dont think there would be enough time to depict his internal struggles/conflicts with it#as a lot of people have said...it would look like mike realizes hes in love with will then just#immediately jumps into a relationship with him without any internal struggles in between#i dont think thats what theyre trying to convey storytelling wise#i have more thoughts on why i believe in gay mike now but i still dont know how to piece them together in a coherent analysis yet#maybe i’ll post about it someday but for now take this 👍#byler#byler analysis
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every time i so much as think about that scene where light looks at porn magazines while scowling i go into hysterics its genuinely the funniest thing i've ever seen
#the funniest thing is is that i truly believe he thought he was being 100% convincing. that that's normal behavior for a completely straight#completely allosexual man#light is fucking awful and i hate him but also there's nuance to him. and sometimes i can get a little like. oh thinking about his life#before the series. specifically factoring in my headcanons about him being gay aroace and autistic and stuff. ppl have written some rlly#good fics surrounding those topics.... but yeah thats not even canon stuff but i dont care#anyways its not in a way of making excuses for how he is i just think it adds more to his character#hes total garbage but i think theres really interesting stuff with him when it comes to how he's.... VERY disconnected from others#just in general. he's like aware of how to act ''normal'' on like the most textbook surface level without being like. Aware enough to#be able to make it more convincing. and as ridiculous as it is i do see some of myself in him in that sense#also that person who said light and L is just autistic guy who's been masking his entire life vs autistic guy who's never masked in his#entire life. LITERALLY EXACTLY. genuinely perfect way to describe them they are both so similar when it comes to this#but the ways they go about it are very different. light has been playing the part of the perfect son his whole life. L doesnt try to change#himself for anyone and doesnt care when people think hes weird. both of them arent very socially aware and havent had any real friends#their whole lives. its such a fascinating parallel between them#i could go on a whole fucking thing about how light was pretending to be someone he's not around his family and at school and everything#long before he got the death note BUT. i wont. at least not right now#jesus christ how did i go from laughing about him with the magazine to this. my bad#derailed my own damn post. idk swagever#will say rq tho. watched a vid on youtube that pointed out how light expected his family to think nothing of the fact that he's gone to#such drastic measures to hide his diary when making the plan with hiding the death note which is like#that level of dedication would NOT be normal. so the fact that light expects his family to think nothing of it......#i mean you could read that as light just once again being socially unaware. but it could also imply that light's family kind of Knows#he's hiding something and just doesn't address it. (he's gay. im talking about him being gay)#the video also referenced this comic that i didnt rb cause the actual premise of it (lawlight wedding) is um.#not at all my kind of thing. BUT it was light describing himself as a house with a basement when his family sees him as a one story house#and i thought that was such a cool analogy#ANYWAYYYSSSS i need to go to bed. thanks if you read my ramblings#serena.txt#death note posting
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I think klavier has The Autisms and/or OCD. Btw.
"he's just a perfectionist" he got so distracted and upset about a missed cue in a song that it distracted him from a literal murder investigation. He felt so strongly about it that he couldn't get past it.
#when he does that thing where he grabs his head and shakes it like hes trying to physically shake out the feeling hes having?#thats something ive done countless times. i know the feeling hes feeling in those moments. its an awful feeling#you cover your ears even though it doesnt help and it doesnt protect you from it but you feel like you need to keep your head on#you shake your head as if you could physically clear out the awful thoughts/ feelings like an etch a sketch but it doesnt work#but neither does anything else#and this reaction in me at least is usually caused by intrusive/obsessive thoughts or being forced out of my routine without warning#he also usually does it when he realizes theres a detail jn a case he hadnt known about/considered: he hates not knowing every detail#whenever evidence/testimony he wasnt aware of comes to light during a trial he freaks the fuck out. he seems to react *really* strongly#like most of the reactions in these games are a bit overdramatic but usually its just like... someone being taken aback !!! not... despair#his reaction really stands out to me#it feels... important.#klavier gavin
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men really gotta stop writing fictional excuses to put "worldy" "older" feminine minds/psyches into childrens bodies just so an old man can fuck them
#like its always annoyed me because i dont dislike the thought experiment that is old awarebess in a young body its a very fraught thing thus#fascinating and all#but like#im doin the 2nd dune book#and i dont think this author realizes all of the tiny threads he doesnt keep track of for one#but for two his grasp of narrative time for someone so preoccupied with a story based largely on future vision is...#either bad or just callously ignorant#but this part i dont think he didnt realize i think he was fully aware#that aliyah is only what? 16? 18 at most id believe since he last mentioned her age at 15?#and *he* has to be what? given the fatherly notions and his station when i think paul was 15... late twenties at least???? at LEAST.#thats gross herbert
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internet safety is a wonderful thing and so important and i love being safe online soooooo much
#do schools even teach internet safety anymore? i learned it in like elementary school#since i have two younger brothers 10 & 8 they have access to the internet and i guess i get a little bossy but i try to make sure theyre#being safe... if theyre able to talk to people i tell them theyre not old enough to do that yet..! the 10 yr old has a scratch account and#while scratch is fine i dont like that he can comment and read comments no matter how safe the site is#internet safety is so fucking important to me im dead serious#it makes me really sad to see a lot of young kids able to communicate with strangers Even if its safe! Theres always a risk#Like i met someone who was 9 on discord a while ago. ☹️ I told them they shouldnt be on it but i dont think they listened to me anyway#To be honest#Idk what the right age is to have full access to the internet. 13 feels too early but 16 feels too late but idk abt 14 and 15. ig 15..??#Id say it depends on just being a teen and how mature you are but idk#I dont think it really can be helped if you have access to the internet#I just hope kids are aware of the good and the bad and how to navigate the internet!! Because its really scary!#If you say you hate kids i dont trust you. if you make fun of kids (in a mean spirited way basically bullying) i dont trust you.#I would love to be able to help and be friends with kids so that they know better but unfortunately thats not always going to be possible#Its 3 40 am bye#Oh and i fucking hate snapchat and instagram and omegle. Genuine burning hatred for those stupid things fuck them#Even tiktok is better than those. And i dont even like tiktok
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My favourite "Lev being funny though I don't actually know if he's being funny on purpose" thing is him randomly telling me shit he's eaten. Like I'll tell him something while he's possessing my body like "ugh god don't eat that food it was left out, might have had bugs crawl on it" and he'll already be eating it saying something like "I've eaten bugs I don't care". I can't tell you how many times I've heard "I've eaten worse" when it comes to all sorts of shit like raw meat and sea creatures and intestines and bugs and plants and all sorts of animals and ROCKS (when he was around earlier he tried so hard to not say he likes lapis lazuli because of its texture lmfao and I could feel it)
Tho I have to give special mention bc it's still playing in my head to the funniest fucking time (paraphrased) -
Random YouTube video of this slimy huge millipede-esque creature wriggling: Would you eat this -
Lev: Yes.
Random video: - for a million dollars?
Lev: Yes. Give me my money
Me: You'd eat that??
Lev: Yes. And I want a million dollars. Give it to me
#I can't remember if he said he's already eaten something like that or if he was just like yes? Obviously?#But I fucking love him#IM. SUDDENLY AWARE OF THE FACT THAT HE SPENDS A LOT OF TIME IN CHINA AND IDENTIFIES A LOT AS CHINESE THIS IS.#NOT. PLEASE DONT CONNECT THESE THINGS this is me talking about someone who is not from Earth lmfao even if he finds his#home there. I have to say this bc I started work on a pic of him today in his Eastern dragon form thinking about how there's that one#Chinese story about a dragon teaching humans writing which. Is the most fucking him thing I have ever fucking heard#But yeah no this is just him he's just like that#God the autistic fucking mood of ''hehe this is funny!'' and then people being like ''oh because (stereotype) right 😏'' no?#Just because it's funny? I enjoy it and am entertained by it just because of what it is? It doesn't have to hide a meaning?#Anyway. MAYBE I SHOULDN'T HAVE EVEN MADE THE CLARIFICATION I just got fucking smacked by the fact that that's going to be one of my next#uploads of him probably tomorrow so#God fr I'm struggling Autistically(tm) now bc I'm like. Is it rude to clarify and remind people thats a thing. Or is it rude to not clarify.#ramblings //#leviathan //
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#thats me in the corner. thats me in thr spotlight. rocking from side to side and not contributing to the conversation#which is to say. i made it to thr lab get together with an old lab mate. i really truely did not think i would#i was like 20min late bc of the crying and hyperventilating over a 6min drive down the road#i sorta freaked out while driving too. and almost turned around. its just that i kno i havent been sleeping enough and got overwhelmed#but i made it there. and i dont think i looked like id been crying but i probably looked a bit blank faced and miserable#as i rocked from side to side for like 2hrs listening to ppl talk. i enjoyed it exactly as much as i expected. it was good to see the guy#again but i just dont connect in group gatherings idk. im glad its done. also fucking we were sitting there and a group comes in and whos#in that group?? someone i have avoided seeing for like a loooong time. the guy who tried to be in a relationship with me back when i 1st#started as a grad student. i say relationship. i was explaining to him why i couldnt do any sort of romantic e tanglement and he was very#firm abt not wanting a relationship. and im like bro im explaining u why no romanticly adjacent thing is gonna work. u literally asked me#to physically hold ur hand thru this. u r somehow more emotionally invested in this than me and also are telling me that u just wanna fuck#me. so like u r not slick. whatever. it was so fucking stressful at the time. which i feel bad abt bc it wasn't really his fault#i was just less self aware so i didnt kno i have bad awareness in the moment. like i dont kno a lines been crossed until a week later when#im laying on thr floor falling apart. so like i wish him the best. didnt kno he was still around. hopefully this doesnt trigger stress#dreams. all this to say i was very fucking tense. and when i got back in my car i was like shaky and panting lol#idk looking back its just such a weird situation with that dude. if i was anyone else it woudlnt have been a big deal but#my brain just doesn't process physical touch right. so now ive got these horrible touch memories that like on paper r literally nothing#but for me they were so unfathomablly awful when i 1st aquired them. i literally could not deal with any romantic stuff for like a month#bc it would like trigger me. now thst its been like 3 years its not bad tho. just like gives me thr ick but i dont get#stuck in the memories too much. its so dumb. whatever. point is im all sore now from sitting all tense haha#unrelated
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oh girl what the fuck
#so....i have investigated to the best of my abilities and i am still thoroughly lost so thats that#but what?? literally so much transpired ok so firstly soobin flipped seunghan off with his toes like what....#SEUNGHAN WAS KICKED OUT OF RIIZE FOR SMOKING..... R U KIDDING ME LMFAO THATS SO?????#PLEASE he was doing normal dumb teenager things u should see the people in my college and literally every other college here#why do people drag any sort of celebrity for making normal human decisions#like yes it isn't good for you no shit it isn't but im sure he's mentally sane enough to know that#people who smoke are AWARE of the fact its not good for them trust me i have friends who are well aware#the consequences are on every single pack like they know#bro got kicked out for something literally millions of other people do like what kpoppies are insane and sm is stupid#secondly....i don't even know how to address the made in abyss scandal like it seems so messy what even#let me be so clear here if this allegations are true then i am absolutely disgusted and cannot even fathom what the fuck is happening#like woozi taeyong everyone what#but from what i have seen... and PLEASE DO NOT MISTAKE THIS AS ME DEFENDING ANYONE I AM SIMPLY STATING WHAT I HAVE SEEN ON TWITTER DOT COM#the copy that taeyong had of that manga was the censored version#does this help no not really but i don't really know enough about this situation i will look into it as much as i can i just have no TIME#ive also seen that all of them have been cleared??? so thats also something we should take into consideration i suppose#and the manga/anime is advertised as gore/horror etc ofc this does not excuse its contents literally what the fuck is that author on#but i have to state how entirely hypocritical it is to judge someone based off the media they consume because i know damn well#that a lot of people consume very fucked up content like dark fiction is a thing have yall seen the ya novels nowadays#that does not make the person who consumes it condone it...bc its fiction#at the end of the day these are men i dont trust them as delusional as i may portray myself on this hellsite#also i saw a tweet ab someone on twitter saying bc taeyong reads beserk and that is also a manga with incredibly dark themes he must be#fucked up#firstly a lot of manga/anime have dark themes but thats not the point#a LOT of people around the world have read that manga (im literally not talking ab taeyong here i promise)#literally people i know have#they KNOW how fucked up it is they dont recommend it to anyone and literally say read it at your own risk its fucked up#it does not mean they directly condone the shit that goes on in the manga they have quite the opposite stance actually#(beserk is also the nunber 1 rated manga of all time i know this my ex doesn't shut up ab it and neither does one of my best friends)#anyway i dont know much about this yet so i will look into it more; had no idea what was happening until five mins ago but literally wtf ma
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I genuinely want nothing to do with people who hate fictional characters so much they spend time making their online personality about it, typing unprompted rants of hate about the character and people who like them. For the love of God stay away from me, you're uncomfortable to be around.
#unless it's Mineta type characters#thats totally valid#important thing i want to add#this kind of applies to characters you associate personal trauma with but let me explain#its less about you being weird or anything for it#and it can be a form of venting#which obviously is none of my business#but you need to be self aware of it#and if its actually helping you or harming you#ya know#and dont take it out on other people just enjoying content#because that IS weird#but anyway#what prompted this was someone#freaking out about Deku#buddy thats not normal he's not real
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honestly sounds like an unwise choice of dog(young high energy likely due to breed temperament and lineage to to have a higher reactivity and distrust of strangers?) have in that environment and im glad hes apparently living with family friends now, hope that helps w the behavioral issues
#toy txt post#im shocked hes gotten 11 bites in tbh thats insane? if nothing else. it sounds like that environment was not great for him stresswise if hes#biting that often#i dont buy into that dogs always have good character judgement thing but i do think there is probably some overlap with#commanders vibe checking and the general temperament of your average secret service agent being a disasterous combo of#commander not digging their vibe and the energy they bring to interactions with him. ESPECIALLY now that he has such an extensive history of#bad interactions w agents that like. for sure affects how they approach interacting w him#and like. probably some overlap w the agents hes biting and the agents who might have some unhinged politics of their own#that doesnt mean hes Aware or that his general Judge Of Character should be taken at face value#hes just a breed that is gonna be be pretty distrustful of strangers who is constantly having strangers in his space#that are probably asserting themselves in his space and close to his ppl in ways he doesnt like but that is basically part of their job#which he doesnt understand that. all he sees is Some Random Guy with annoying vibes thats probably giving him sideeye and#exuding vibes of 'god i hope this stupid fucking dog that bites secret service agents doesnt bite me' and the dog that bites secret service#agents is like hey bro whats with the attitude. why are you so close to my ppl. why are you tensing up when im near you? are you gonna#go after me bro? not if i get you first. and the cycle continues. fuckin oof#11 times is insane but honestly. honestly. if i had a bunch of assholes following me around with a tense aggro energy and shit#i feel like moxie might start biting. shes not bitten anyone yet so far despite her high level of distrust towards strangers but like.#i think if their was someone with fuckin. Cop Vibes getting all up in the space of her people she might give it a go. idk#maybe not. shes mostly more confrontational towards other animals than to ppl. w ppl she cowers and trembles. but idk sometimes when we're#trying to convince her she doesnt need to have an anxiety attack about every new person she'll sometimes like sit on one of us and then get#a little growly when someone comes close not just cos shes scared but also cos shes being protective. but also its funny bc she is also like#trying to hide between our legs like a baby penguin. she is simultaneously trying to Protecc and Be Proteccted
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