#but goddamn my mom's commentary about it
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Most of the time I love my problematic faves being problematic. And I don't care if somebody hates them for hatable reasons I find fun. But when my mother starts dunking on Vi. Idk. Something inside of me becomes homicidal
#hearth's mantle breakdowns#we were watching arcane last night#and yk it was The Episode#like sure okay she shouldn't have bitched at her sister like that we can all agree on that#but goddamn my mom's commentary about it#STFU SHE IS ALSO A KID ♡♡♡#SHE JUST HAD HER ENTIRE FAMILY DIE IN FRONT OF HER FOR THE SECOND TIME ♡♡♡#SHE NEEDED LIKE FIVE MINUTES TO CHILL OUT HER ANGER ISSUES ♡♡♡#KYS ♡♡♡#anyway no I'm not the parentified oldest daughter why do you ask
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SEASON 2 TIME! Episode 1 and it’s… AMOK TIME!?! Oh boy:
- “Oh, Captain.” Yeah McCoy?
- McCoy is worried about Spock just like Chapel is worried about Spock
- The fucking nameplates, whatever they’re called that are stuck to the walls are hilarious
- He was having his period
- THEY ADDED DEFOREST KELLY TO THE OPENING CREDITS
- Does Spock have a knife behind his back??! Oh wait does Spock have an arcade machine in his room?
- OH MY GOD CHEKOV
- How can I even explain? It’s like he’s t posing or smt (mom I threw up kinda stance)
- The little fight between McCoy and Spock in the med bay, McCoy wants to know what’s wrong and Spock is not doing well
- CONVERSATION BETWEEN SULU AND CHEKOV HOLY COW
- “He’ll die. He’ll die, Jim.” Knowing that Spock needs to fuck during this episode makes it so much better, this really is how they decided to start the new season
- “The birds and the bees are not Vulcans, captain.”
- Spock pours his heart out to Kirk “I haven’t heard a word you’ve said.” WHAT KIRK? What?
- Chapel listening to Kirk and McCoy like “shut the fuck up and just kiss already.” She’s happy that Kirk decided to go to Vulcan tho
- SHE ENTERED SPOCKS ROOM WITHOUT HIM KNOWING???
- Their conversation is… strange
- “You’ve been most patient with my kinds of madness.”
- He can be accompanied by his closest friends. And he chooses Kirk and McCoy. My heart.
- “She is T’Pring, my wife.” Goddamn he’s been cheating on his wife with two men in space
- Imagine all the Vulcan’s could just hear Kirk and McCoy’s commentary
- What the fuck is happening.. they explained that she chose to make him fight… but what the fuck is happening
- “You think Spock can take him?” “I doubt it. Not in his present condition.” Brutal McCoy. Brutal.
- Those bells are annoying as shit
- When Spock talks to T’Pau he looks so small, could be the high angle and way he’s curled in on himself
- This montage is crazy.. and annoying. I really hate those bells
- “Jim don’t go and fight Spock.” “I’m gonna go and fight Spock.. out of friendship.”
- Babygirl your murderous rage filled look has captivated me
- BOOB WINDOW MOMENT! It’s just as beautiful as I thought it would be
- McCoy’s “SPOCK NO!” Is like. He doesn’t want his idiot boyfriends dead
- I cannot express emotion
- “He’s dead.” HES DEAD BUT ITS JIM MOMENT
- T’Pring is such a girlboss but holy crap that’s fucking ruthless
- OMG HES HAPPY OH MY GOD HEA SMILUNF OH MY I could watch this clip all day
- McCoy is so smart and we thank him everyday
- “When I found I killed my boyfriend, I lost any interest in my wife”
- To end it off we must have a bit of flirting. “In a pig’s eye.” Which according to google means ‘Expressing scornful disbelief at a statement’
Episode written by Theodore Sturgeon
Of fucking course it was him. See ya on the flip flop.
Masterpost
#star trek#amok time#star trek the original series#star trek tos#tos kirk#captain james kirk#tos spock#s'chn t'gai spock#spock#spirk#this one gets tagged spirk#tos bones#tos mccoy#leonard bones mccoy#tos chekov#pavel chekov#tos chapel#christine chapel
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Me, about to go to bed: I should check Tumblr fir-
Dipplinduo: ahaha wanna know what would be crazy? *posts 2 chapters*
Me:…
Needless to say, I’m a little tired right now lol. I was VERY excited when I saw that you decided to ignore everyone and make a mess. I love angst, you should make more <3.
BUT, I was VERY happy when 11 started with a battle! As someone who spends her free time EV and IV training her Pokemon, the battling aspect of the games ALWAYS gets me excited. Will say though, Crispin was my least favorite battle lol. Nothing against the guy, but my Ceruledge has flash fire, and the boost it gets from fire moves plus sunny day wiped his team, even with the type null.
The fact that Juli gets so into battles she didn’t even notice the people around them was a nice little add too! Nice little characterization that adds to her I think.
But Kiki’s DREAM. He’s CONNECTED TO PECHARUNT. Maybe he has been for years now! And Pecharunt is the reason his moms gone!? OH MY GOSH. This peach is RUINING this family. (Also, is Kiki’s mom a Bug trainer? So cool. One of my fav pokemon is Vivillion so it’s nice to see bug representation)
But, not much else to say beyond that. The fluff from 12 was pretty cute. We finally got a Julibee, my heart is melting lol!
And poor sour apple, my boy is fighting for his LIFE to get sweet to like him lol. What did he DO to make her HATE HIM (ToT)
Overall. 10/10 once again. I had fun ignoring my sleep schedule for this one lol
The beginning of your ask was so goddamn funny that I had to read it out loud to my lil scheming group who schemes and memes with me LOL
"I love angst, you should make more <3."
...:)
I'm glad you liked the battle scene, I for one dislike them (whether reading or writing) but wanted to try to make it interesting-ish regardless. And WOW what a massive L moment for Crispin against that mon of yours, that's a decided match right there lol
And yess! I love that it was conveyed well. I'm mostly playing off of Drayton's commentary on how the player seems to have a really serious look in their eye when battling.
Peach is indeed breaking the family, and the world may never know because she is now long gone :')
APPLIN LOOREEEEE
I hope you've gotten some rest, thank you for the fun review lol <3
#my fics#dipplinshipping#kieran pokemon#kieran x juliana pokemon#juliana x kieran pokemon#juliana pokemon#kieran x juliana#juliana x kieran
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home is where the heart is (but God I love the English)
Summary: Alex's relationship with "London Boy" by Taylor Swift is an emotional journey.
Words: 4,026
ao3 link
Notes: via @KeptinOnZeBridg on Twitter: "alex continuously teasing henry with taylor swift's "london boy" and singing it over and over again when they shop, when they get to bed, when they cook, and when their friends are over"
So. Anyway. I'm not entirely sure what this is? Is it a crack fic? It might be a crack fic. I hope you like it anyway. I do :)
----
you know I love a London boy
I enjoy walking Soho, drinking in the afternoon
he likes my American smile
like a child, when our eyes meet
darling, I fancy you
----
Alex wouldn’t consider himself a Swiftie, necessarily.
June has been obsessed since they were little and still in Texas – Alex has distinct memories of her strumming a guitar and covering Our Song repeatedly because it was the only song she learned at the time. When Taylor Swift stopped in D.C. for the Reputation tour the year after his mom get elected, he’d tagged along with June and Nora, dressed in all black at the girls’ insistence to fit the vibes.
It’d been fine. He’d had a good time.
But he doesn’t know her entire discography and only pretends to keep up when someone starts diving into the Taylor Swift lore, like who her best exes are or why there were five holes in a fence in an Instagram photo years ago. Her music is good, and he doesn’t actively want to turn it off most of the time when he hears it – he doesn’t understand why that can’t be the end of the conversation.
Still, when Lover comes out in late August of 2019, only a week after he had to clean cake out of places he never wanted to clean cake out of, he finds himself lounging back on June’s unnecessarily fluffy pillows, Nora and June both curled up near the foot of the bed with June’s phone as midnight rolls around. Snacks are scattered around them, like they’re preparing for some kind of fucking apocalypse instead of listening to a pop album. He’s got his HRH Prince Henry fact sheet open on his lap as they start playing the first track for the first time, because he’s here for the snacks and to make June happy, and he’s supposed to be committing this stuff to memory at the same time.
The album isn’t bad. He nods his head along to some of the songs, taps his fingers in tune with a few, and he doesn’t really offer a lot of commentary.
“Okay, this next one is… London Boy.” He isn’t looking, but he feels June’s eyes on the side of his face. “Ooh, wonder if it’s about your new best friend.”
Alex frowns, glancing up at her. “What?”
“Henry, obviously,” June says, grinning around a mouthful of Pop-tart. She gestures vaguely toward the file in his hand. “Doesn't he qualify as a London boy?”
“There’s at least a ninety percent probability that it’s about her boyfriend,” Nora supplies, unhelpfully, as she rips open a bag of skittles.
“And the other ten percent?” June tilts her head and smirks, clearly enjoying this too much.
“I’d say like, eight percent that it’s Harry Styles.”
“And?”
“Probably at least one percent that it’s Henry." Nora shrugs. "He’s the more attractive option of the two royal English men within a decent age range.”
June turns back to Alex, eyebrows raised high on her forehead. “See, there’s a chance.”
“Just play the goddamn song, Bug.”
Nora throws a yellow skittle at his head. “Boo, party pooper.”
June plays the song, as requested, and it’s good.
Except.
Except it’s a little too... boppy for his taste.
Except now he’s stuck thinking about pristine blonde hair and stupid blue eyes and an upturned perfect nose because June has made the association in his brain before he’d even been able to give the song a chance. He breathes in deep through his nose and stares at the words in front of him and tries to push down the irritation rising in his chest. Random facts about Prince Henry are staring back up at him, mocking him and reminding him that he has to fix this stupid mess that wasn’t even his fault.
Well, not really.
“It was cute,” Nora says once the song has stopped.
Alex just shrugs. “It’s not my favorite. Next.”
He pretends not to see the glare that June shoots at him. It’s easier than trying to figure out why his stomach is in knots just from thinking about Henry.
It's probably just pure annoyance.
----
Taylor Swift has bad timing.
On January 3rd, two days after Henry kissed him on New Years’, Alex is antsy and irritable and needs to distract himself because he's definitely being ghosted. So, he’s trying to get a head start on reading for his classes that don’t start for another fucking week because he has to do something when Idris Elba’s voice comes through the speaker playing a random pop playlist on Spotify.
He hates that he recognizes it immediately, even though he’s pretty sure he’s only heard it twice since it came out. Even more, he hates the way it immediately makes him feel.
His stomach drops and twists, and the book he was holding slips from his hands because they’re suddenly damp and he can’t hold onto it. He fumbles in his hurry to slam his hand on the volume down button of the offending piece of technology, and the book crashes to the floor beside his desk, loud and jarring. The silence that follows offers little comfort, the tune still playing in his head, echoing between his ears.
Reflexively, he unlocks his phone and opens his message thread with Henry, reading back over the texts he’s sent – questions of if Henry is alive and if they can talk and—nothing. No new messages or missed calls or even a fucking like on his most recent Instagram post. That had been a stretch, he knows - a desperate attempt to get anything from Henry, but the radio silence has only continued. It feels like he’s lost something, something monumental, which is fucking stupid because they weren’t anything, not really. Acquaintances, at best. Fake friends, at worst.
It’s what Alex tells himself.
It doesn’t feel true.
He counts out four minutes in ten second intervals in his head and then turns the volume back up on his speaker. Another song has started playing, one that doesn’t remind him of cold air and warm hands on his cheeks and soft lips pressed to his underneath a tree in the White House garden.
It’s another story, he guesses, if that’s all he can think about anyway, regardless of what song plays. He’ll still blame Taylor Swift for the crack in his chest that he presses a hand to as he picks his book back up, opening it up and not comprehending a single goddamn word.
Maybe he should have just let the stupid song play. He feels like shit already, anyway.
----
He plays it for Henry in Paris, just to annoy him.
They’re eating apricots and tarts and laughing curled up together on the bedspread in their robes and nothing else, and Alex gives Henry an airpod and they go back and forth picking songs. Alex pokes fun at Henry’s Bowie choices and Henry rolls his eyes when Alex plays the Beatles, but they’re giggling and it’s stupid, really, how this moment feels stuck in time. He knows minutes are passing and he knows Henry will have to leave soon, but their heads are tucked close together and Henry’s palm is warm on Alex’s leg, and he wishes they could just stay here forever.
Here feels like somewhere else, safe from prying eyes and people who wouldn’t understand. Here, they’re just two boys curled together in a Paris hotel room that are friends, that sort of understand each other, that know what the other tastes like when they come and where to kiss to make the other squirm. It’s a little terrifying, this feeling blooming in his chest and expanding. It feels beautiful and fragile, and Alex isn’t sure he’s capable of not fucking it up.
It would be on brand for him, if he’s being honest.
So, he types the song name into his search bar and clicks play. He cuts his eyes up at Henry with a grin, because this is supposed to be something casual, not something that makes him feel like he might die if he loses it. The song is just silly enough, and Henry rolls his eyes and shoves him away, complaining that he needs to take a shower before he heads out.
He hands Alex back his airpod and gets up, but he smiles at Alex before he disappears into the bathroom. Alex lets the song finish playing as he hears the shower turn on, and part of him kind of wants to take off his own robe and join him. Henry would probably let him, but Alex has already skirted the edge of what this is supposed to be this morning, when he watched Henry sleep and traced the ridges of his spine with his fingertips.
Taylor sings “you know I love a London boy” in his right ear, the other airpod tucked into his fist, and Alex, for just a moment, wonders if he could.
Or if he’d even be allowed.
----
The song haunts Alex on his worst day.
When Henry leaves the lakehouse, the rest of them stay for one more day, like they had planned originally. Alex asks to leave and let them enjoy the last day without him, but everyone refuses to let him go anywhere by himself, and Alex doesn’t want to ruin their vacation, too.
He’s pretty sure he already has.
Nora and June hover around him, and he tries to humor them, but his heart feels torn open and shattered. No, his heart feels gone, ripped from his chest and halfway across the Atlantic by now, probably. He wonders if Henry has cried over him at all, too, or if leaving was easy for him. Has he thought about texting Alex back? Has he stared at their text message thread and considered responding and giving Alex any semblance of an answer? Of a reason?
Does he understand what Alex has lost?
If, he thinks bleakly, he ever had it to begin with.
Alex lets his sister and best friend pull him onto the porch, into the warm sun that does nothing for how cold he feels, and Nora turns on some music, and he tries very hard not to open his Instagram and scroll through Henry’s feed, and he tries very hard not to wonder what he did wrong, and he tries very hard not to cry.
“We could go driving in, on my scooter-“
A broken noise slips past Alex’s lips before Nora can grab her phone and change the song. The door slams forcefully when Alex runs inside, before he's even realized that he was moving, into the room that still fucking smells like Henry. Pain laces through his scalp and – oh – he was pulling his hair. He squeezes his hands into tight fists and presses them into his eyes as his tears start to fall and fall and fall.
He was so fucking stupid.
It’s like he can still hear the godforsaken lyrics even though he knows the song was turned off, taunting him, words about loving British mannerisms and “just wanna be with you”s, and he isn’t sure how he read it so wrong, how he misunderstood the way that Henry had looked at him, how he’d let himself fall in love with someone who never planned on being there to catch him.
He curls up in Henry’s bunk and cries into one of the last things that Henry touched that he still has with him, ignoring June when she knocks on the door, apologizing profusely.
It doesn’t matter.
None of it matters.
----
The song winds up being a comfort when he needs it.
Curled into a seat on a private plane the night after dancing with Henry at the Victoria and Albert Museum, Alex slots his airpods into his ears and plays music to try to calm his racing thoughts. He brings his hand up to his sternum, feels the lump of the key and ring hiding under his shirt and clings to that feeling, that hope.
“I want you to know, I'm sure. A thousand percent."
If Alex closes his eyes, he can still feel Henry’s soft jacket underneath his fingertips, the way his palms had slid into the dips in Henry’s waist as they’d shuffled back and forth around some of the most beautiful art in the world. Or, at least, Alex assumes it is. He didn’t see much of it, too focused on Henry, on making sure he took advantage of every second that he was allowed to hold him, to press kisses into his cheeks and jaw and neck, to love him the way he deserved to be loved.
The way that Alex is going to love him forever.
He isn’t really paying attention to what’s playing, until his brain registers a familiar cadence, and he realizes that London Boy is playing.
It makes him laugh, quick and surprised, the immediate visceral reaction almost making him skip it. But, the song plays, “but something happened, I heard him laughing, I saw the dimples first and then I heard the accent” and his finger stops over the button. It’s catchy, for one. It’s true, for another.
A lot of things will probably remind him of Henry breaking his heart in Texas, at least for a while - the lake house, bunk beds, this song. He can't change what happened, but he's certainly changed his perceptions before. He did, after all, spend the first twenty-one years of his life thinking that he was straight and now he has a boyfriend.
Things can change.
He leans back against his headrest and lets the song play, humming along. Cash shoots him a funny look from his seat, but Alex just looks out the window and breathes and creates a new memory for the song – a feeling of elation, of knowing that the future is uncertain except for one thing, the one thing that Alex is more sure of than he’s ever been of anything. Before the song ends, he takes a screenshot of the Spotify app as it plays and sends it to Henry, texting, miss you already xo
Henry’s response is quick: I’m never going to escape that bloody song, am I?
Alex grins. not if you’re with me, baby.
Guess I’ll just learn to love it, then. And then, immediately after: I miss you, too.
----
Henry doesn’t escape it.
June plays London Boy on purpose after the inauguration in January, her grin wide and wicked. Alex lolls his head onto Henry’s shoulder and sings along immediately, poking at his side until that beautiful fucking smile pulls up his boyfriend’s features.
“You’re a menace to society,” is what Henry says, but his cheeks are pink and his lips are warm when he presses them to Alex’s temple.
Alex just buries his face into Henry’s neck, pressing his own kiss to the soft skin there, before trailing up to Henry’s ear and, around a giggle, whisper-singing, “Dahling, I fancy you.”
Henry shakes his head, but his eyes are bright, and his grin is infectious, and Alex just wants to live in this moment forever. His mom and Leo are somewhere – grabbing champagne, he thinks. Nora is curled up on Alex’s other side, and June is sitting on the ottoman in front of them with her phone in her hand, and Henry’s arm is looped around Alex’s waist from where he sits next to him, and it’s everything.
He swallows past the sudden emotion in his throat and then laughs as June and Nora grab remotes and start using them as microphones, serenading Henry until his blush has spread all the way down his neck. They love him, too, Alex knows, and as he joins in with them, singing loudly and off-key, he thinks that this is what Henry deserves – to be loved this fully and wholly and unconditionally and, sometimes, a little comically. Nora leans over Alex’s lap to ruffle Henry’s hair during the bridge of the song, and Alex presses his “just wanna be with youuu” into the crinkle at the corner of Henry’s eye. June fakes a gagging motion, but then she gets up and smacks a kiss on Henry’s opposite cheek, which makes him splutter as he pushes her away.
During the last chorus, he glances over at Alex, as if in need of salvation, but Alex just smirks. Henry rolls his eyes, but the hand around Alex’s waist squeezes as the song ends, and Nora and June devolve into a giggling fit just as his mom and Leo appear with a bottle of champagne and 6 glasses. They toast their wins, all of them, including Henry, who flushes but clinks his glasses with everyone.
They’re all talking over each other and it’s chaotic and messy but there’s still something warm and tangible beating through his veins, comfortable and encompassing. Alex looks over at Henry, who smiles and laces their fingers together like it’s the easiest thing in the world before giving his attention back to Leo, and Alex knows – it’s home.
----
Alex adds London Boy to their move in playlist when they’re putting all of their things in the brownstone, credenzas and way too many shoes and everything in between coming together in a jumble that will probably take them weeks to work through.
But it’s their stuff and their mess, and unpacking boxes with Henry feels nearly therapeutic, like the culmination of everything that they had to go through to have this, a home that belongs to both of them, closets that they share, and decisions that they get to make together.
Henry lets him craft the playlist, which is a mistake on his part, but Alex takes advantage and then bides his time, waiting patiently as they unpack boxes and rearrange furniture and argue over which cabinet the ceramic bowls should go in, which is so fucking domestic that Alex actually kisses Henry mid-argument, fingers curling around the back of his neck as he licks into his mouth. Henry’s hands flutter for a moment around Alex’s shoulders before settling around his waist, and Alex’s grin breaks their lips apart.
Henry swallows, eyes dark. “Um, I-“
“Put the bowls wherever you want, baby.”
The bowls go on the counter, for the time being, as Henry drops to his knees, and they christen their kitchen before they’ve even finished unpacking the first box.
Later, London Boy starts playing while Henry is setting up their coffee and tea bar and Alex is stacking glass cups in the cabinet beside the refrigerator. Immediately, Alex puts the dishes down and grabs Henry around the waist, effectively pulling him away from his work and into Alex’s arms.
“What are you – oh my – Christ, Alex, really?”
Alex laughs as recognition flashes in Henry’s eyes, keeping one hand in Henry’s as he twirls himself around once. Henry’s arm winds around his middle as he comes back, and then he’s rocking back and forth with Alex, silly and perfect and his. Alex is so deliriously happy as he obnoxiously sings the lyrics, feeling like he’s holding everything he's ever wanted in the palm of his hand.
And, well. He guesses he is.
----
It becomes a bit, something Alex always knows he can do to get a smile out of Henry. He’ll play their stupid song, and sing it off-key in Henry’s ear, and they’ll dance around their kitchen or their living room or their bedroom or whatever space they find themselves in. Henry eventually even stops complaining, unless he’s critiquing the accent that Alex sometimes tries to emanate as he belts the lyrics.
Alex adds London Boy to nearly every playlist they have on their shared Spotify account, including their chores playlist. So, it always seems to come on when they’re sweeping their dining room or dusting their ceiling fans or cleaning their kitchen countertops. They always stop, they always dance. Alex always feels like it’ll never get old, the way that Henry looks skyward for a moment and laughs and lets Alex keep doing it anyway. He’s lucky, so lucky, that this is the life he gets to live, with this man that he loves and that loves him, too, even when he’s ridiculous or overdoing it.
Henry never seems to think so.
Once, when Henry is washing the dishes, the song comes on and Alex puts down the broom that was in his hand to wrap his arms around Henry from behind. His fingers trail across Henry’s abs from over his sweater, squeezing lightly. He presses his lips to the shell of Henry’s ear and hums, “home is where the heart is, but God I love the English” in the most exaggerated bubble gum pop tone he can manage.
Henry pulls his lips between his teeth to try to hide his smile. “Your love for the English is singular, you cretin.”
Alex just kisses his jaw noisily and keeps singing, rocking back and forth, and moving both of their bodies in a way that makes Henry fucking giggle, and Alex might spend the rest of their lives trying to get that sound replicated as often as possible.
“You know I love a London boy
I enjoy walking Camden Market in the afternoon”
Henry sighs, finishing the last dish and drying off his hands before turning to rest his hip against the counter. He tilts his head in a way that Alex recognizes, slightly exasperated but endearingly fond. It still makes his heart skip a little in his chest.
He loves that – the way his entire soul still reacts to even the slightest bit of affection from Henry. It’s like he’ll never fully get used to it, even as much as he knows that Henry loves him, that Henry is staying forever. He hopes the thrill never goes away, either.
Alex curls himself into Henry’s chest, still singing along with the song as he stretches up on his toes. Henry kisses him, cutting him off and effectively shutting him up, and Alex melts, reaching up to cup Henry’s cheeks in his palms. Their noses brush together when they pull away. “I love you.” Alex grins. “London boy.”
“Jesus Christ, you’re insufferable.” Henry scrunches up his nose, and Alex leans up to kiss it. Henry rolls his eyes. “But I love you, too.”
----
At the end of the year, when they get their shared Spotify account Wrapped, London Boy is their top played song, because Alex plays it while they’re cleaning, while they’re getting ready in the morning, when they have friends over for game nights, as often as he can. He does it for the sole purpose of teasing Henry, of getting to see the splotches of color that rise on his skin and know that it’s born out of love. Plus, as much as he didn’t like it when he first heard it, he thinks that opinion was based on his feelings about Henry getting in the way. In hindsight and objectively, he was too harsh on it. It’s a good song.
When they go shopping at Target and the song plays over the store’s speakers, Alex’s eyes go wide and he sings it to Henry in the middle of the aisle, and Henry tries to run him over with their shopping cart.
When they get married, Alex adds it to their wedding reception playlist, delighted when it blares through the sound system and makes Henry blush, prompting Henry to pull Alex close and hide his face in Alex’s shoulder, his ring sparkling in the light when he covers his eyes with his hand.
A few years later, when they adopt their first daughter from an agency based out of London, Alex posts a photo to Instagram of Henry holding her, small and wrapped in a yellow blanket that has tiny water spots dotting the top of it from where they’ve both cried on her, captioning it, “you know we love a London (girl).”
June comments both a pink heart and an eye rolling emoji, then texts him asking for caption credit.
After all, she made him listen to the song in the first place.
#rwrb#red white and royal blue#rwarb#firstprince#alex x henry#my writing#firstprince ff#i actually really like this idk why#i hope yall do too
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Now watching Collision! Here we go (under the cut cause it got really long):
Tony’s on commentary for Collision? Okay, I’m cool with that
Metalingus is a fantastic fucking song
Oh wow does Christian look good in that shirt. Goddamn.
The ‘Christian will you be my father?’ sign 😂
“Hit the bricks” “get to steppin” loving these coming from Christian
If not Luchasaurus or Jack Perry or whatever, I’m gonna need Adam to be the one to take that TNT belt off of Christian
Bryan!!
Luchasaurus and Nick Wayne banned from ringside. Fantastic
Ricky and Bill?? What the fuck do you two have to do with any of this
Oh right his whole thing with Bryan
“It’s your stupid silk slacks dumbass” “and you took it from the Rock” oh shit Adam
“That really sent me over the edge” I will never get tired of the dumb Edge jokes
I would absolutely love a Bryan/Adam team up. LOVE.
FTR? Really?
Oh cry me a fucking river you idiots
Oooh it’s brawl time
Well this inevitable eight man tag match is gonna be interesting
Oh I love that they played MJF’s Stand Up to Jewish Hate video package
CJ Perry is so gorgeous, my god
I do not like the ROH ring announcer at all
DANHAUSEN!!!!
Oh my god he said it’s almost time, I’m so excited
Juice!!
That son of a bitch needs to give Max his belt back
Wow, all of the tape on Cardblade. Poor Cock Strong
Oh my god the ring
Down on one knee and everything
“Nigel you don’t think-” 😂
The MJF chant 🥹
I swear to god if he takes the ring from Max I will lose my shit
And if Jay fucking White takes the belt from him I might actually have a breakdown
That motherfucker saying he has no friends, I swear to god I hope Max kicks his ass so hard
Dustin’s back!! It would be so fucking fantastic if he (or honestly anybody else) beat Juice in the battle royale
Don’t really like adding him to the long list of people trying to kill Max though
The “we’ve been trios champions for ___ days” thing is so good
“If it’s a thing to you, it’s a thing for all of us” awww
BILLY AND ANTHONY TRYING TO HELP CASTER 🥹 “just be a gentleman” I’m dying this is so sweet
Renee losing her shit was so funny
I adore Daddy Magic and Cool Hand Ang but Daniel Garcia can fuck off
. . . I do not care about Skye Blue at all
But never mind about that because IT’S STAT TIME!!!!
I’m pretty sure she’s the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen
“What’re you doing? This isn’t you” oh Stat 😢
I love that Stat is out here just giving literally everyone she wrestles the best matches of their careers
Okay they can turn Skye Blue heel all they want but they cannot turn Willow heel, that’s ridiculous. Her joy is stronger than that black shit
And you’ll have to pry Staturday Nightingale out of my cold dead hands
OUT OF MY COLD DEAD HANDS TONY
Oh Kenny vs Kyle is gonna be good
Yeah I’m really not in any hurry for Rush and his buddies to come back
Turbo Floyd is definitely on the list of worst wrestling names of all time
I really like that they have storylines from ROH progress (or even just reference them) on AEW TV
Sting on Wednesday?? Fuck yeah
Oh my god the render for Nick Wayne’s mom
Ooh that Mistico video package was fantastic
Time for Bryan vs Christian, this is going to be awesome
‘Christian did nothing wrong’ 😂
Oh shit, no time limit? Is that the first time they’ve ever actually said that? I feel like it might be. Like sure, they always ‘go as long as it takes’ but I don’t remember ever hearing them say that
“Necks by Christian Cage” “Who’s gonna sun this match, and why is it Christian Cage?” “Doesn’t need to mat wrestle a clam digger” Nigel is the best
I really need Excalibur on this show because I have no idea what so much of the stuff Bryan is doing is called and I would really like to
Love seeing Nigel on his feet in the background just losing his shit
That was a great match
Oh brawl #2
That was a really great show! Can’t wait for Wednesday
#aew#all elite wrestling#aew: collision#aew collision#bryan danielson#adam copeland#christian cage#ftr#ricky starks#big bill#kris statlander#skye blue#danhausen#mjf#maxwell jacob friedman#cj perry#the acclaimed#max caster#billy gunn#anthony bowens#daddy magic#cool hand ang#juice robinson#bullet club gold#dustin rhodes#willow nightingale#kyle fletcher#samoa joe#nigel mcguinness#tony schiavone
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Homestuck Fic Recs
Because some of these do not have nearly the amount of attention I think they deserve, and also because I am constantly looking for other people’s list of fic recs so I thought I’d make my own. Some of these are series, so you have been warned.
All fics are on AO3, idk if they’re available anywhere else. With some of these updating is a bit up in the air, I will just put hiatus if it hasn’t been updated sooner than 2021, even if the hiatus is not official.
“” Description
() My personal opinions
Recently Updated:
Reallocated by BreezefulSkies in progress
“Hal finds himself stranded aboard a certain meteor, impact-bound for Houston, Texas circa 1995. And everything spirals out from there.Because sometimes, when a system seems to be just short of defunct, all that is required is to take a step back and reevaluate the materials at hand and redistribute your available resources. And so, with birth comes a countdown on a cycle that begins as it ends: In the red.”
(I didn’t know whether to put this in the Recently Updated section or the Self Insert section. Not technically a self insert but more of a sort-of time travel. Very engaging and I honestly love the exploration of characters we know less about like Rose’s Mom. 10/10 would recommend, I get so excited every time I see it’s updated)
Ship Centric:
Love Letters in Digital Ink by tactfulGnostalgic complete
“In which Rose Lalonde runs a highly successful occult blog, wherein she talks about life, friendship, family, summoning the dark forces to do your bidding, romance, and other Typical Teenage Things.And in which Kanaya Maryam moves into the house next door, runs a mildly popular photojournaling fashion/cosplay blog, and, unbeknownst to Rose, is one of her most avid readers.And in which a summer courtship is performed through a series of message-board shenanigans, misunderstandings, daydreaming, awkward romantic overtures, indirect love letters, and one (1) séance.”
The Worst Goddamn Movies Ever Fucking Made by writerbot complete
“"Why is this shitfuck pan-rotting pile of artifact-ridden, glitchy, nonsensical sewage that can barely pass itself off as a movie somehow a thoughtful criticism on the global rise of authoritarianism and well-put commentary on how young working class males are forced into the military? What the actual fuck? Why do none of the other reviews mention this?"--Aka famous movie director "D Strider" pays Karkat to review his shitty movies, and Karkat grows increasingly alarmed that they actually mean something under all of the mind-numbing bullshit. Meeting Strider, the biggest douchebag in the world, does not help. Also he keeps meeting this annoyingly smart human kid and his awkward/obnoxious but very hot guardian. These two things are entirely unrelated.”
(Recently finished! One of my absolute favorites due to the fact that it really explores alternate world building and includes the Strider/Lalonde family pretty heavily, which I really appreciate as a fan of their characters. Also not too ooc, although the situations are definitely very different from cannon. Honestly I would love to read a prequel that explains more of the cast’s stories but it’s very good even without one.)
Self-Inserts:
Matter of Choices and Opinions by 09Pyros_09Hydros hiatus
“Eridan Ampora is not the most well-liked troll out of the twelve, his attitude, choices, and personality in the series weren't very favorable but I found him alright and a lot of other fans did as well. March Eridan was also popular for the character of course.
How I got into his body after his first pupation molt is something I will probably never know, but living the life of Eridan Ampora is not all fine and dandy despite his high caste blood. Troll society and culture is very different compared to my old human one, I can't really remember it and my own old life so I guess I really am Eridan Ampora now huh?
If I was going to live as Eridan then I was going to live it my way, so say goodbye to Canon Eridan attitude and hello new world of choices and opinions! For one thing for sure, I wasn't going to fuss over the romances and do my own thing. Canon timeline be damned! Canon timeline be damned indeed... If only it were that easy...
But who knew the change of attitude of one character like Eridan could change so much? And yet, change so little? And apparently... He wasn't the only Ampora to change...”
(OML this is one of the best Homestuck SI fics I have ever read. Shoutout to this author because this (and their other Homestuck SI stuff) is amazing. I was absolutely hooked despite the rare premise and I am still sad it hasn’t updated since 2020. Absolutely stunning formatting and great art.)
Actions and Hope, Blast It All by 09Pyros_09Hydros hiatus
“It was suppose to be a normal day for Jane Crocker, work on the new laws, make sure the troll population was under control, deal with the stupid clown that was obsessed with her and then come home to a loving husband and their first born child. It was supposed to be that way anyway. What she actually came back to was a new husband that was destroying her home and her drones, demanding for a divorce and fiercely protective over their child.Waking up in Jake English's body after reviving from some death was bad, especially when it turned out to be drunken suicide. Waking up in Jake English's body during the Epilogue was even worse. Now he had a kid to take care of, a megalomaniac, fascist and tyrantess wife who's cheating on him with a deranged clown fuck, an existential crisis in realizing he was actually a part of the original Jake English and two brain ghosts who are just as confused on his situation as he was. But one thing was clear; He was taking Tavros and getting the hell away from Jane. Jane, Gamzee, the whole fucking Epilogue can kiss his ass, Dirk Ultimate was coming and he was NOT going to be involved with this horse shit. Of course in the end, he had to be involved anyway.”
(Again, absolutely stunning fic. This author is amazing at these stories, and despite only having three chapters so far, I cannot recommend this fic more. Please, it is worth the fact that we may never read the ending if only because it is so good and I am so happy to have read it. Seriously check this fic out.)
IN WHICH A HUMAN IS HUMAN ISEKAI-ED INTO HOMESTUCK by Zakyuu hiatus
“AND PROMPTLY DESTROYS ANY SEMBLANCE OF COHERENCE IN THE TIMELINE DUE TO SEVERAL COPIOUS AMOUNTS OF IRRATIONAL RATIONALITY, BADLY PRESENTED GOOD DECISIONS, AND THE EVER ACCURSED ABILITY OF COMMON SENSE.ALONG THE WAY, THE MAIN PROTAGONIST CREATES QUESTIONABLE SCENARIOUS THROUGH EGREGIOUS AMOUNTS OF ACCIDENTAL SHENANIGANS, AND PROCEEDS TO DIG DEEPER INTO THE CHAOTIC MESS OF A TIMELINE IN AN EFFORT TO SAVE CONTINUITY.THE MAIN PROTAGONIST WOULD LIKE THE READERS TO KNOW THAT THIS IS *NOT THEIR FAULT* AND THEY ARE TRYING THEIR BEST, OKAY?”
(Very good by my standards, wish there were more updates.)
One-Shots:
Probably We’ll All Survive by CurliecueCal
““If he pokes me again I am going to snap his chopstick in half and put it down the garbage disposal.”
--
In which Dave's house has been taken over by Strider-splinters and he's pretty okay with that.”
(I love stories about the striders and this one-shot was really sweet and hit me right in the feels. Love strider content+this author is one of my favorites.)
This Human Practice of Couchsurfing by recourse (liquidCitrus)
“Dave Strider double-checks the address written on the scrap of paper in his hand. This is probably the right house. Probably. "I've been talking with him over the Internet. He said that he'd be quite willing to show a dude around 'New New Home'? And talk about monster society? And offer me... spaghetti...?"In which Dave Strider is invited to visit the monsters' recently established surfaceside village by Papyrus, Undyne gets a pair of sunglasses, and Frisk pays a midnight visit.Rated T for swearing. Well, Dave swearing, anyway.”
(Cute little Undertale Crossover, not much to say other than that, good read.)
surf where white bones twist by oriflamme
“When Roxy kills the Condesce and inherits the Empire, she also inherits her monsters.”
(Loved this AU, so sad it’s just a One-Shot, 100% recommend check it out.)
Other Recs:
Stabdads by lucky_spike hiatus
(This is basically a Stabdads AU centered around Karkat and Spades Slick. I, personally, love this AU because I adore the found family trope and I also love the Midnight Crew’s characterization in this. There is definitely not enough stabdad content out there but this series sure does deliver. Series doesn’t need to be read in order, but it is great for binging. Not complete and hasn’t updated since 2012 but that is not a reason to avoid it.)
So It Goes by TGP complete
“They managed to win the game somehow. He's not really sure of the details, but it's not all it's cracked up to be. He's stuck in an unfamiliar body with a thirteen year old little brother who's terrified of him. Somehow, he is sure this is his fault.”
(This fic is so good!!!! Classic case of an oldie but a goodie. Post-Canon AU where the Alpha kids get transported into the bodies of their counterparts in the Beta universe and shenanigans follow. Lots of angst in the beginning but I absolutely loved everyone’s characterization in this, please check this fic out. It is part of a series and I definitely recommend the sequels, which really helped bring the story to a good place. I love this fic and the sequels so much I keep finding myself going back to them, 100% my kind of comedy.)
Midnight’s Son by Java_bean complete
“Dave Strider's father, a prominent detective, is tasked with infiltrating the Midnight Crew. Dave, worried about his father's safety, decides to do a little undercover work of his own and tries to befriend the boss's son, Karkat Vantas.”
(Back at it again with the Stabdad AUs! Found it when looking for Stabdad content, fell in love with the DaveKat dynamic. Very nice to read, especially loved the Karkat characterization. Highly recommend)
The Longest Surviving Intern at Nightfall Community Radio by ElektricAngel complete
“A boy with red eyes and white hair walked into town today. He was carrying a long, sharp sword, which, according to some reports, was dripping with fresh blood. He wore a pair of dark glasses over his eyes.
So how do I know his eyes are red? Well, listeners, because he’s in the studio right now, staring at me.
He wants to know if I have a DJ position available.
This being a talk show with absolutely no music of any kind, I'm afraid I do not have such a position. However...an internship has just opened up.”
(I’m not a huge Nightvale fan but this crossover was still a very fun read. 10/10 would recommend.)
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(Be warned, incredibly lengthy script reply ahead, copy-pasted directly from my notes app. It’s a lot of separate paragraphs so it will probably take up some space, apologies in advance)
SCRIPT SCRIPT SCRIPT SCRIPT OMG YES
Karen!!!! Yes Karen!!! AND HOLLYYYY OMG. I love this bit so much. Karen’s gonna find her kids!!! She’s gonna find out what’s going on!!! I love good mom Karen!!
OHHHH OH MY GOD THE CFROP CIRCLE WILL MADE THE CROP CIRCLE AKJDHKSJDHSJFBSND. IT CROSSED OVER FROM THE UPSIDE DOWN AND HE MADE IT AND THEY CAN ALL SEE IT HOLY SHIT
She’s good </3 oh Max </3
“Come here often?” Mike you DORK.
AWWW THE SWING :((( MIKE TRYING TO TELL WILL HE LIKES BOYS TOO :((( God that’s so sad and sweet and heartwarming. But YES WILL SAID IT!!!! YOU GO WILL!!!! And god. That HUG. I bet that’s gonna SLAP in Mike’s POV in the fic <3
OHHHHH NANCY TALKING ABOUT MIKE TO ROBIN :(((( OH MY HEART.
“I’m a lesbian. We know these things.” LMFAO ROBIN
Oh my god Will and Mike straight-up CUDDLING in the upside-down while Will sleeps. And it’s just like, normal. NO SHIT they’re gonna be different after this, goddamn.
“BABY”????? ARE YUOU???? FUCJING???????? MICHAEL. MICHAEL WHEELER
NOOO GOD VECNA. FUCK. HOLY SHIT THIS VISION GODDAMN
BABY????????????? GOD VECNA THAT’S FUCKING FOUL
HOLY SHIT??:?? THE FUCING???? MINDFLAYER?????? WHAT. WHAT? VECNA WEARING ZOMBIE WILL’S FACE AND SAYING ‘HOW ABOUT A KISS INSTEAD’ BEFORE FUCKING POSSESSING MIKE I’M. I.
Ha. Haha. H. Okay. I can uh. I can see why Suni said she hated you. Because what the fuck. What the fuck? I mean that was AMAZING but what the fuck. I can’t wait to scream at you even more when the fic chapters come out because WHAT. The FUCK.
Goodnight
(Sidenote added as I am re-reading my own commentary before sending this ask: I kind of can’t wait to see Will go fucking BALLISTIC at Vecna for pulling this shit with Mike. Like. Those newborn powers are gonna go CRAZY. Vecna you’re in for it buddy)
yayyy!! so excited to answer comments🥳
i’m so glad you liked karen’s scenes! i’ve had her s5 arc planned FOREVER (as in it was literally one of the first things i ever thought up for this fic, and the main reason i wanted to include a script to show other storylines!), so i’m super excited to finally dig into it!
the crop circle😎 that’s My spooky little eldritch creature! so proud of him🫶🏻
elmax🥺 my Babies.
dork!! & yes i am SOO excited to write this scene in fic format.
nancy & robin! and i’m glad u liked robin’s line bc i rlly couldn’t figure out if i wanted to leave that in or not. but yk what. i stand by it!
the CUDDLINGGGGG GOD I LOVE THEM😭 and the “baby” line was another that i was super undecided about leaving in, to the point where i had to consult suni and get a second opinion😭 but she was like yeah you Freak leave it in. so i did.
as for everything else: 😇
thank you so much for reading!!! i appreciate your comments so much💗
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To try and make my memory issues less Annoying i'm going to start cataloguing what i watch and my opinions on said things, i forgot to do it fresh after watching these first few things but in the future ill try and do it more soon after. You can block the tag jay tv time if you wanna filter this out and not see it!
POST NUMBER ONE: THREE THINGS WATCHED IN JANUARY 2024
YURI ON ICE
I'd heard vaguely about this way back when on tumblr and hadn't had any interest at the time; this was back when i was more interested in getting involved in discourse than really taking any media recommendations from my peers around me lol, older days on tumblr were a dark time huh. Anyway, watched this with my boyfriend this year because i have an interest in ice dancing, i like the sport, i wanted to see some sports anime drama around it!
So, my opinion and review. The show's opening credits are nothing to write home about, very clean looking yeah but kind of bland in a sort of mid 2010's corporate fashion- the show itself though starts with a boatload of charm and a very likeable main lead! The atmosphere was charming and fun and bubbly, everything felt very cozy; LOVED our main leads internal little monologues with little diagrams, loved his family his mom is like peak platonic ideal of an anime mom, loved the tongue in cheek nature of it! Aaaand then we hit what i would call the lowest point for the show, and one that i fully understand if it would be a complete deal breaker for people. That's right folks, we get fatphobic comedy! Whoo. This isn't the WORST i've ever seen but in those first two episodes or so it was prevalent enough to have me rolling my eyes, feeling uncomfortable and saying yeah, if this continues on we might drop the show. If not for how charming the rest of the show was I'm sure we would have dropped it right then and there! But what i am glad to say is that yeah, it drops off; of course it comes with the caveat that it only drops with the main lead losing the weight he was being mocked for, SIGH, but it at least started to feel less like we were going to have to sit through endless weird attitudes towards NORMAL WEIGHTS FOR A GODDAMN HUMAN BODY TO BE, and more like 'oh yeah these hardcore professionals in these fields have shitty attitudes towards bodies. That makes sense. Wish we didn't have to linger on it still because i dislike it thoroughly.' So anyway. Moving onto the next episodes the show really started to pick up for me and got me invested in the ice dancing; while a lot of characters come and go during the lead up to and the competition itself i found so many of them likeable and charming that i was rooting for them each time they took to the ice! I adored the 'rival' of sorts, fifteen year old yuri (not the titular one, different yuri) and we were cheering him on a lot; he's just a little angry kid that loves cats and wants to be the best!!! We wanted him to do good and have fun!!! And we found we were rooting like this for so many people, really feeling the vibe of watching a sport you enjoy and feeling the love for the art of it all.
Now speaking of art i will say i found myself not always totally in love with the animation during the skate segments; this show is really pretty looking for sure and certainly TONS of hardwork went into it so i don't wish to say anything against that- i don't even know if there IS a better way to animate this but. Well on occasion it felt as if the background slid at the wrong speed or angle or direction and didn't fully match the figures skating, making some of the speed and elegance of ice dance evaporate. A lot of animation also felt a little reused, a lot of the same motion being done with little variance aside from what the commentary dialogue says over top, but again i respect a ton of hardwork no doubt went into this and i'm sure animating competitive ice dancing is a daunting task so i'm not making any statements against effort or skill on part of the animators!! Just stating that i myself wasn't too taken with the animation during these segments.
Of course, at its core, what yuri on ice is really about is a blooming relationship; and oh my god. Okay so i'm kind of used to things tumblr called gay back in the day being....mmmm metaphorical, subtextual. Sometimes even not gay at all. So i wasn't prepared for how openly gay this was! There is clear romantic and sexual intent shown from JUMP, it is not shied away from nor shown as something to be demonized or to bring doom on the characters they are just Gay. Like REALLY gay. And maybe you're going 'well duh of course' but hey. I didn't grow up watching anything with gay characters or people in it, i still am not used to seeing open and happy gay people in media. Its still fresh to me! And it makes me happy! I don't know how they got this show to be SO gay, i would be surprised at something gaining mainstream popularity with 'THEY STRAIGHT UP GET ENGAGEMENT RINGS' level of gay nowadays never mind back then so i'm just sort of taken aback! That's cool!! That's still new to me!!
Now my overall review is: This show is a good fluffy watch, nothing too complex or complicated, might not blow your socks off but if you want something feel-good it's worth a try! Obviously with the understanding that if those first few episodes leave too bad a taste in your mouth i compleeetely understand and would not begrudge anyone switching off at that point, you'd be well within your rights because good lord we didn't need that put in. But yeah! Show's gay! Show's got ice dancing! Someone should take Yuri Plisetsky to the rainforest cafe!!!
DUNGEON MESHI
OK SO THIS WILL BE A SHORTER REVIEW BECAUSE WE HAVE ONLY SEEN ONE EPISODE VERSUS YURI ON ICE BEING A FULL SEASON, ALSO DO NOT FUUUUCKING SPOIL DUNMESHI STUFF MY BOYFRIEND HAS READ THE MANGA BUT I HAVENT.
Dungeon meshi is something i've known about for ages and known that i'd like, but i also knew it had a plotpoint adjacent to something that (genuinely depending on the day, its like a damn coin toss) can squick me out OR trigger me a bit, SO! I'd never read it, which i know is a damn shame! But my boyfriend really wanted to watch the first episode of the new dunmeshi anime and i really really wanted to watch with him and i'm really glad i did because it is SO good. It is so fun and witty and bursting with charm, every character is so likeable and it feels like you've known them forever from jump they settle so easily within your fondness for them! I adore how much they do not shy away from Laios being a very passionate weirdo, i love that the guy who is pretty much our main lead in our cast is. A PECULIAR MAN WHO YOU JUST REALLY CAN'T HELP BUT HAVE A SOFT SPOT FOR. I've been this man before, the guy who's really into something nobody else gets!! I get it Laios i get it! Marcille Chilchuck and Senshi are all absolute delights too and each has their personality show vibrantly different from each other, feeling like individuals all with so much to like about them all; Marcille as the person to constantly be unsure about the CLEARLY PECULIAR THINGS THEY ARE DOING is especially great!!
Not only is this show a romp so far but it looks DIVINE, the animation knows exactly when detail and motion is needed and when a minimalist approach is needed to sell a gag; each character is rendered PERFECTLY from manga to anime, they are translated over with an expert touch that loses none of their charm- and according to my boyfriend this anime is a very straight forward adaptation, beat by beat following the way things are laid out in the manga's panels the way they are presented within that medium, and that's SO cool to me that they're managing to make precise things that worked so well on paper work just as well in motion!
I can't say too much about this story-wise or plot related just now as again, we've only seen the one episode, but it has left me hungry for more and really excited to watch the rest of it, and that's fantastic!!
PONYO
Oh wow this is three for three animated entries for the jay tv time list; not intentional but that's pretty cool co-ordination! Animated January..... ANYWAY!
CAN YOU BELIEVE I HADN'T SEEN PONYO YET! I've seen Spirited away and My Neighbour Totoro, but this was my first time watching Ponyo and ohhhhh my god it's wonderful. Every character is a joy, the world around them looks gorgeous, its all so sweet and nice and aaaaaaa
Sometimes small kids can be. Grating in movies, or the plot can be moved along in ways that are annoying to watch a toddler progress through, but not with this movie; the kids are SO cute, Sasuke is such a sweet lil kid and Ponyo is so fun- also the line early on at the daycare where the one lil girl says 'you don't have a job you're FIVE!' KILLS ME! This movie portrays little kids in a way that never crosses into the annoying small child thing that a lot of movies can do; and that's not all it does right! It's conflict never feels contrived or irritating, it always flows nice, it's characters never feel boxed into Bad or Good everyone is just a person trying to do what's right, the world never feels Too hostile or Too cosy it just feels nice and balanced! It's a joy to watch it really is, it's not a complex nor complicated tale but it doesn't need to be, its a movie to watch when you want to have a big happy smile on your face; it makes you want to clap and go yayyy!!!! So often because you love what's happening so much!
Sasuke's mom is SO FUCKING GOOD. Spoke about platonic ideal of anime mom earlier but Sasuke's mom takes the award for Coolest mom; she's driving fast and furious, she never once judges Ponyo for being a fishy, she's cool!! Ponyo's dad is equally good, i love a well meaning man who just can't help but come across as a Total Weird Asshole because he is just so much of a tired grumpy mess; and i love that he's not portrayed as evil or mean, just protective and misguided in places but ultimately just as kind as everyone else in this movie! And that's something i really appreciate, so much kindness flows through this movie, so much love for your fellow man (or fish); the community feels like a community because of it, families feel like families because of it. Kindness is so wonderful and the kind of kind, gentle understanding in Ponyo makes it's characters come alive! The final moments when Sasuke accepts Ponyo makes so much sense, he's a sweet lil five year old, he doesn't have any prejudice engrained in him, he likes his fishy friend!! And the world is saved by that!! And isn't that just delightful!
Also hey if we may get unprofessional Sasuke and Ponyo's moms had a little something going on between them, i think they could've had a lil something something. I'm just saying.
I also love Ponyo's dad SO Much. I couldn't fix him but. well. nay, i shan't say.
ANYWAY!!! REALLY GOOD, SWEET MOVIE! Definitely one i'll revisit on days when i want a nice sweet pick me up! It's gorgeous, it's heartwarming; oh my god and the ANIMATION!! THE ANIMATION! Every frame a delight, i appreciate so much of how well done the creatures of the sea are and how much are filled into every scene, making it feel bustling and alive, i appreciate how unafraid to make Ponyo look WEIRD they are it really adds to the charm, and the animation in general is just so perfect, its a work of art... I REALLY ENJOYED THIS MOVIE!
AND I THINK THAT'S IT FOR NOW, STAY TUNED FOR UH. MORE THINGS I WATCH I GUESS.
#jay talkin#jay tv time#this is more me more than anyone else i just think its funny to also publish it#its kinda a accountability thing then. maybe ill reemmeber to do it more if its public#and then maybe i wont forget things about things i enjoy!!!! bc my memory is bad lately LMAO
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A Rambling Retrospective of Phase Four
I always find it funny that cats keep attacking the MCU because Phase Four was the worst one, but people forget that the entire Marvel franchise is for f*cking kids. Now, I'll be the first to say a kids flick doesn't need to be brain-dead on arrival but, with the exception of Thor 2, none of the MCU films actually are. For the most part, they are solid flicks with decent messaging and great characters. In terms of Phase Four, the writing has slipped, for sure, so a ton of sh*t is getting shoehorned into shows that should have been films and films that should have been shows. And that’s the problem with Phase Four: Execution. WandaVision should have been a movie. Shorten up that run time, focus the budget a bit, and that sh*t could have been wonderful. The last two episodes of that show were trash. They ran out of money. With a cinematic run time of two and a half hours, you are forced to trim that fat. Same thing with Ms. Marvel. Make it a Special, like Werewolf by Night and carry on. Eternals should have been, for sure, a limited series. Focus on the principal characters as we follow them over the years after their break up, subtly weaving the danger of the those Deviants throughout the narrative, and end with that revelation about the Celestials which could potentially lead into a film. Build a little mini-Eternals universe within the MCU because that’s basically what they are. Execution.
Honestly, while Phase Four has been disappointing, it’s not all terrible. There are some very strong entries in this, more or less, experimental Phase. Obviously No Way Home is peak Spider-fair, i really dig Moon Knight (a fourth watch is actually what spurred this essay), and i actually really liked both Loki and Ms. Marvel. I though Falcon and Bucky was a very strong entry which was as important a story to tell as Black Panther and, for all of my previous criticisms, i genuinely enjoy, like, eighty percent of WandaVision. Speaking of, MoM was amazing because of Wanda and Shang-Chi worked in a way i did not expect. There is much more good in Phase Four than bad. Let’s be honest, even at it’s worst (She-Hulk), Phase Four has nothing as sh*t as say, Transformers 2. Not even Dark World is THAT dog sh*t. Phase Four is, undeniably, the worst the MCU has ever been but its not because of wokeness or lack of passion. People are blinded by all of the “social messaging” and “identity politics”, which is f*cking stupid because, upon a revisit to the majority of these entries, these films don’t say sh*t. There is no messaging. Outside of making people of color the leads of these new entries, or gender-swapping a few B-list villains, there is nothing so overly egregious about Phase Four to make it that controversial. I you have beef with Phase Four, make sure it’s on the merit of the shows, themselves, and not because of the diversity put on display.
Falcon and Bucky has an undercurrent of race relations throughout it’s run, which makes sense, because the lead character is a black man. More than that, i hearkens back to the incredibly f*cked up history the US has with black bodies, personified with the character Isaiah Bradley. That type of sh*t happened to us all the time. It still is happening to this day. The fact that there is a capeflick story about, doesn’t take away from the fact that Falcon and Bucky is arguably the strongest entry in Phase Four. It’s also the only show with a message. Well, i take that back. She-Hulk kind of does, too. Now, i liked She-Hulk. I th0ught it was a cute little side-story which rang true to the character i know from the comics but all of the neckbeards and chauvinists were ringing their bigot bells because the dared to make light of their sexist squeals. That entire show is meta commentary about the reaction said show was going to get in the blogshpere. It’s f*cking wild because, even the few who picked up on the fact that the entire goddamn show was dunking on them, still went on their rants about how the “M-She-U” was ruining everything. Outside of these two entries, there is absolutely no messaging in anything the MCU has ever made. Even in Phase Four, those two shows are the only inherently messaged pieces of media but, apparently, the entire Phase is terrible because of politics? Really? Y’all are throwing the baby out with the bigoted bathwater.
Phase Four sucks because the writing has dulled considerably and the executives started taking the audience for granted. hey stopped trying and got comfortable with their formula. The worst hing about the MCU is they blew their load with the first three Phases. They used up all of the recognizable heroes early on, which is funny because, when the MCU started, those cats were B-list. Plus That’s why Marvel even had the rights to Iron Man in the first place; No other studio wanted to buy them. He wasn’t known as a top seller. That movie MADE the MCU, which made every other character introduced along the way. But that’s over now. Just like in comics, it’s time to change the guard. Phase Four was always going to be a difficult situation. It was always going to awkward. We are saying goodbye to characters we’ve known and loved for a decade, while introducing characters no one knows a f*cking thing about. Shang-Chi? Really? Kamala Khan? Riri Williams? Who the f*ck are these character and why should we care? That’s literally the same thing everyone said when Iron Man dropped in 08. Look how far we've come. And we got this far on the back of solid writing, dope execution, and great f*cking performances. Phase Four has two out of three, which kind of lines up with Phase One when you think about it.
More to the point, how do you come back after Endgame? DO you have any idea how difficult a challenge trying to continue any semblance of narrative after the f*cking Infinity Saga? Of course the first Phase after such an endearing narrative was going to be all over the place. What threat is as potent as Thanos? What villain is a is imposing? How do you tell a better story after half the goddamn universe was snapped out of existence? That, in of itself, should give a bit of leeway in where we are to go next but nope! “Fans” are taking to the internet in an effort to spew their vitriol and hate, not because the shows; themselves, are bad, but because they are too “woke.” Woke being code for ethnic, of course. I’ll be the first to say some of that is a little heavy-handed but even with the current management botching fundamental aspects of cinema, these films are still popcorn blockbusters that have a ton of heart. If I'm a twelve year old getting into comics for the first time, the MCU is a perfect adaption of that experience. They are fun, lighthearted, character-driven adventures which don't go too heavy on the messaging and isn't some grimdark, edgelord, misery festival like Snyder's DCEU. There's a reason Aquaman, the most MCU of that lot, made a billion goddamn dollars. Capefilms can be highbrow fair if they want to be. Road to Perdition and V for Vendetta exist. They can be elevated to Oscar caliber cinema. Joker and The Dark Knight claim that crown. But let's not forget that, first and foremost, these are movies about cats who where their underwear on the outside and cut this genre a bit of slack. Cut the MCU a bit of slack. They’re starting over after giving you a decade’s worth of the best entertainment possible, even though they’re just supposed to be kids movies.
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The Venture Bros. #38: “The Lepidopterists” | August 3, 2008 - 11:30PM | S03E10
Well, it only took 8 episodes, but we’ve got our first just good-ass Venture Bros of the season. I forgot about this one being GREAT. There ain’t no hide nor hair of Hank, Dean, or Scooter Venture (is it Scooter? The dad? I forget his name all of the sudden and don’t feel like looking it up. Could it be Peanut?). This one was teased in the “Now Museum, Now You Don’t” episode. Doc Hammer wrote this episode and midway through the writing process Jackson told Doc that Spider-Skull Island was a museum now, in a different episode he was in the middle of writing. Lucky him, he got to write museum gags, like when 21 and 24 blend in at a museum tableau.
The Monarch becomes Jonas Venture Jr.’s arch after the events of “Tears of a Sea Cow” (actually that one’s good I just decided). Throughout the course of their inaugural scuffle, Monarch uses weaponry, cunning, politics, and movie magic to get towards his ultimate goal of being able to terrorize the real Dr. Scooter Venture again (By Scooter I mean whatever that guy’s name is. I simply can not remember). The Monarch basically gets Jonas Jr. to attack him with enough severity that he would be within guild bylaws to avenge his loss by targeting his immediate family members, such as the hated Scooter Venture. Meanwhile we get Jonas Jr. trying to get the hang of being arched.
The opening has a very memorable scene that involves the Venture Mech, Ventron, starting this one with a gosh dang bang. Ventron is piloted by Jonas Jr, Sally Impossible, the Sea Captain, and Ned, a parody of The Thing who’s just a childlike retarded man. Jonas Jr. is a very supportive parent to Ned, who nurtures Ned’s independence and choice-making so that he can, to quote Doc Hammer on the commentary, “be the best damn retard he can be”.
Doc uses the r-word cheekily on said commentary after sharing a story about his mother scolding him for using it on the show, spoken by the Monarch. Doc puts a similar exchange between Jonas Jr. and the Monarch, where the Monarch incredulously offers back that he’s a villain and of course he’d use bad words like “retard”. He joked that his mom won't listen to the commentary. I hope she doesn't read this blog.
The Pirate guy has a side story where he gets addicted to tranquilizer darts. 21 and 24 have to go on some technical mission with a third guy, Henchman 1. 21 and 24 continue their meta thread about how they fancy themselves main characters of their life, and evade death. They mention Tomb Raider in this episode, specifically her dying animation when she drowns. Jackson and Doc initially bonded over Tomb Raider when they first met.
Henchman 1 is a squareheaded and competent, and voiced by Jackson Publick squeezing his throat like David Cross in Mr. Show when he does the black guy voice. You know what I’m talking about? Jackson Publick actually cites this in the Venture Bros art book (which I found a digital copy of; here’s hoping they reissue that thing with updated entries for the finale and final season). Henchman 1 doesn’t survive, as far as we know.
This one moves so goddamn quick and is actually funny. They even manage to get into guild rigamarole, which I usually find fraught humor-wise, and not only make it interesting but make it an important weapon being wielded by the Monarch. Death to Scooter.
MAIL BAG
This was really a turning point for me with Tim and Eric. While they would still put out three or four fantastic high-concept or style parody episodes, the hitting average on the more standard sketch episode just completely tanks. You can make one or two great episodes out of each season compiling the best gags but the pickings are bone slim. Wish they just got cancelled and did more episodes of Nite Live instead lol.
I might be more charitable than that, but I basically agree. I used to rationalize it in my head that Tim & Eric simply grabbed an opportunity to generate a lot of stuff, and decided not to be precious with it, and just foolhardily started churning out stuff and lost steam. Like a somewhat noble failure?
I now realize that a likelier explanation is that Adult Swim ordered 30 episodes (seasons 2-4) and shortly switched over to HD, and the production budget was locked so Tim & Eric couldn't make the switch and were basically pressured into churning out their 30 as quickly as possible, just to grant it a slightly-longer shelf life before becoming completely obsolete. I guess I'll sort my feelings out when the season is done.
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i watched smile and wrote down my live reaction if anyone cares lol. long story short it was better than i thought it would be, the death/spooky effects were fun but it was kinda heavy handed with the mental health commentary
i went into this thinking it would be funny bad but. goddammit. ok i liked the opening.
the fucking back and forth shots of the main lady and the college girl’s faces, it set me up!!
then when it showed college girl had gotten up. idk man something about how empty and sterile the office is wigged me out even more.
and her cutting her neck was neato
at the title card now and alright goddamn it didn’t have to flash like that yeesh
oh also it sounds like this is just gonna be it follows but with suicide instead of sex
lord they’re trying to do mental health commentary. great.
ugh if i end up liking this movie i’m gonna be embarrassed
that cat’s dead. and nooo i don’t know that because i checked doesthedogdie.com
i was hoping the cat would smile lmao
WAIT THE BOYFRIEND
WHO IS HE
SLKJFLKSDF IT’S A-TRAIN
i’ve decided this takes place in The Boys universe
sorry i got so distracted by a-train that i forgot to say that main lady seeing the dead girl in the dimly lit kitchen did freak me out.
we’re back to the mental health commentary.
why does the cat have such a big fucking bowl
Young cop(?) dude gives me the creeps.
Haha sassy black coworker!! very funny and cool el oh el
ooooo i liked her passing the rooms and having to backtrack
bro is vibing stop snapping
im so sorry but this carl actor has a really silly voice
i feel like this boss also looks familiar
oh he was in designated survivor ok
actually i’ve been kinda constipated so maybe if i watch this on the toilet i’ll shit myself and finally be free
jesus this lady just can’t stop breaking glasses
none of this would’ve happened if you just KEPT YOUR HOUSE WELL LIT
WAIT STOP EVERYTHING
YOUNG COP CREEP IS THE EMO GUY FROM JENNIFER’S BODY
wow what a cast
i sorta missed the whole bit where she listened to the recording and heard stuff, i was unclogging my toilet
main lady and blonde bitch are sisters?? wow that went straight over my head until now. i knew they had to be related in some way? but i kinda thought the husband and the main lady were siblings
dead cat moment
love that they felt the need to clarify it was her cat lmao
when the boy picked it up it looked like really bad cgi
DAMN
TABLE SLAM KO
yeah babe sometimes you just gotta yell it out
SLKDFJLS THE PAIN ASSESSMENT CHART
im sorry… mental health preachy message aside, are you telling me the fiance had to look up the fact that mental illness can be hereditary??
for some reason i feel like the main character’s spiral happened way too fast
but to be fair i guess she does have that trauma with her mom, so maybe even though she works in healthcare she’d still be more susceptible to this line of thinking?
the number of times they say “crazy” in this movie is getting ridiculous
love a good smashed in head, i appreciate they didn’t add a loud noise with it considering the amount of jumpscares in this fucking thing
thank god horrible events always happen to artists so we can have ooky spooky drawings
these “coincidences” are so obviously connected it’s ludicrous that literally nobody noticed until now
I mean cops being inept is nothing new i guess
main character is being? unbelievably unreasonable here?? yes, calling a mental health professional is what you’re SUPPOSED to do when someone around you starts acting like this
i thought one of the whole points of this smile demon thing was that it could look like anyone? they haven’t really been utilizing that as much as i assumed they would which is a bummer
OOOOOOOOOOOOOO
loved that moment with the sister at the car
it is kinda neat that the death has to be super dramatic so it inflicts as much trauma as possible
but also couldn’t you just do something traumatic that doesn’t involve murder or suicide?
like pretend you murdered someone or killed yourself in a crazy violent way in front of someone so they believe it happened, orchestrate a big practical joke
the demon voice is goofy
putting a knife that big up your sleeve seems like an atrocious idea
LMAO AWESOME DREAM
it’s like in chainsaw man. the whole door thing with denji. i’m not elaborating bc i don’t wanna spoil anyone.
the mom is kinda hot
lol i like how slowly rose closed the door
ooooooo!!!! suddenly tall mom!!!
i’m a tad disappointed with the monster design :/
HELL YEAH you thought a house fire could kill a demon?? lmaoooo
I TAKE IT BACK THE MONSTER DESIGN LOOKS RAD
rose the throat goat
hell yeah love a good person burning
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God. Watching "artsy" films with my mother is so fucking exhausting. We went to see The Menu tonight, and I thought it was a well-shot film with excellent acting and a well-constructed story line, but all my mom can say is that it was "too weird" and she thought x character would be a hero in the end, and I'm like. Mom. It's a social commentary film. It's not meant to have a happy ending. It's a vindictive ending because it's a catharsis.
Not everything is a goddamn western. Please stop talking incessantly about how bad you thought the movie was after I said I liked it. We're allowed to have different opinions.
#just a quick vent post#she also kept asking me what was happening in film and god i hate that#we are watching the same movie at the aame time! fucking pay attention!#also STOP TALKING WE ARE IN A PUBLIC THEATER???? jfc
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Episode 42 Transcript: Hey, What’s a Fella to Do?
[intro guitar music]
G: Hello, my name is Grey.
C: And my name is Crystal.
G: And this is Busty Asian Beauties, the Supernatural commentary podcast where I, someone who has seen this show several times–
C: And I, someone who only knows the show through social media, discuss every single episode of Supernatural from start to finish. Also, we are both Asian.
G: Both Asian! For today's episode. [laughs] Holy shit! I still have not–
C: What?
G: I still don't know the–
C: Watched it?
G: No!
C: [laughs] Oh, okay!
G: I have, in fact, watched the episodes we're about to discuss. I just don't know who the writers are. Let me see.
C: Raelle Tucker, which you can tell, because she uses herself in the “Then” sequence. And then near the end, Sam's attitudes about hunting directly mirror the ones that she put on him in “Hunted” that didn't make any goddamn sense.
G: Today, we will be discussing Season 2, Episode 20: “What Is and What Should Never Be” written by, as Crystal said, Raelle Tucker, directed by– [laughs]
C: Boooooo!
G: Mr. Eric Kripke himself! Yeah, babygirl.
C: I–did he direct–what? Okay, I'm going to look at what he has directed before. I want to know why he thought this episode was so special that he directed–
G: He has not. This is–this is his first episode that he directed–
C: Oh my god.
G: And, allegedly–
C: He was like, “Dean is such a babygirl that I simply must” [G laughs] –allegedly what?
G: Well, allegedly they had, like, to draw lots or something for what episode they're going to direct, and he ended up–or like, he chose episode 20, but at the time he didn't know that episode 20 was gonna be this. So this is not like a matter of–
C: So he thought it would be plot and not a deviation.
G: Yeah. Okay, here's the thing. We usually reserve our full thoughts of the episode at the end. But I feel like this episode deserves a pre-thought–like a pre-episode thought discussion, so–
C: Okay.
G: Let's–let's talk about my thoughts of this episode.
C: Yes.
G: I have a love-hate relationship with this episode.
C: Uh-huh.
G: I hate it because [laughs] it's so unrelated to what's happening in season two.
C: Yeah.
G: And I feel like if I just watched it by itself, I would have enjoyed it a lot more, but because we're watching it in chronological order, it falls flat, like it physically–like, it actually angers me that it's here–
C: Yeah.
G: Because it's so irrelevant. And like, next episode we're going to have a two-part finale, and this is the episode prior to that. Why?
C: ‘Cause season two is about Dean, and about how he doesn't want to kill Sam. That's what they've decided. They've decided that Sam doesn't matter.
G: Yeah. And it's so evident in this episode that they really do not give a fuck about that guy. Like that guy can–that guy barely exists in their head.
C: Aw. Sorry, Sam.
G: I would say I like the episode apart from that, though, because of–because the heart of the show and the heart of this episode is family, and that's why I like it, you know? And this- because this episode is so family-centered. I did shed some tears in like certain scenes–
C: Oh, for real?
G: Yes, for real. And yeah, like, it's good as a solo episode. I think, like, when you think about this one, you should think about it as separate from the season. Because if you don't, it sucks.
C: Yeah, I feel like it would work better as a season one or season three episode.
G: Like we said last time, season three is the prime time for this episode to be happening.
C: Yeah. The djinn’s argument that Dean should stay is a lot stronger in season three, because it's like, he's gonna die in six months, anyway.
G: I hate this episode, but I love it. I can't help it! [both laughing]
-
G: Okay, before going in what did you know about this one?
C: Right. So I knew that the monster in it would be a djinn, and that Dean gets put in some dream world where his mom didn't die, but John did, hell yeah, uh, and that he has a girlfriend there named Carmen, who he finds out later is in a beer ad. Okay, I feel like I just know everything in this episode, actually.
G: Yeah, just everything.
C: Yeah.
G: Because it's a very, very prominent, very in the culture of SPN episode.
C: It’s considered a Dean thesis.
G: Yeah, it is considered that. God, can you believe the last three episodes are like this before the finale where we're supposed to care deeply about Sam?
C: Right, I just, “Hollywood Babylon,” ”Folsom Prison Blues,” “What Is and What Should Never Be,” like, Sam is not a character in any of these. Like, he's actually, I feel like he's made to be somewhat unlikable in all of them, actually. I don’t know, it’s the lead up to him being, like, put into the Hunger Games, and the whole thing is like, “Dean is such a silly fun little guy who doesn't want to hunt anymore and Sam’s just a judgmental bitch.” [both laugh] Like, that’s not the correct lead up to the finale.
G: Yeah. Okay, let’s start–so the “Road So Far” in this episode’s pretty good. I like it.
C: Eh.
G: I–okay. I'll take that as “It's not,” and–okay, fine. [both laughing]
C: No further debate, I agree. [G laughs]
G: I do not feel strongly enough to fight for my fucking life for the “Road So Far” of this episode.
C: I just think it's silly that they basically replayed the entire pilot beginning scene, like, we know that Mary died of a fire, like, you say it a lot.
G: I mean, maybe the reason why I like it is because it's different. It's not like, “Dad wants us to pick up where he left off [C laughs], saving people–” like, it's not that. So.
C: So we open on a license plate that says CNK80Q3.
G: Aw, they changed it!
C: And it’s Baby, but they changed her name because of the cops being after them, I suppose. It only took them like, twenty encounters for them to consider it.
G: By, KAZ. That's the–that's the Impala’s old name. You are now ceenick.
C: Welcome, conk. [G laughs]
So yeah, Dean gets a call, and Sam's in a motel room, and he's worried about a cop car outside, but it eventually drives away, so it was a false alarm. Sam's not happy about being a fugitive, but Dean says, “Hey, man, chicks dig the danger vibe.” Kay. Uh and Sam's reading a lot of book about djinns, which, speaking of, are not portrayed accurately in this Supernatural episode, and we have several facts about them from Bee, aka angelhannah on the Tumblr, that we will sprinkle throughout when they become relevant. Thank you Bee for that work. Um, right, and he asks Dean about a case that they're working where there were a lot of missing victims, and Sam’s pretty sure that they're hunting a djinn, and Dean seems to know nothing about them. He's like, “What, a genie? Do they grant wishes?” [G laughs]
G: Yeah, I mean, I guess they've never encountered them at this point
C: Yeah, but somehow he knows about the “silver knife dipped in lamb's blood” part, which seems like–
G: Yeah.
C: Something that you'd need a lot of prior background knowledge on, at least in the world of Supernatural where that's how you defeat a djinn. Mmm. Who knows? I guess Sam wouldn't let him hang up without having that information via text at some point. Yeah, so he says that they're powerful enough, and he says “they're not exactly like Barbara Eden in harem pants”? Uh, which I guess is something that happened in a movie somewhere.
G: [laughing] That sounds bad, so we're–let's just not get into it.
C: Yeah. Um, right.
G: Unless you want to.
C: No, yeah. And he says that djinn have been feeding off people for centuries, and that they're all over the Quran, uh, which is true. But you'd think that if he read that source, then he would know that the lamb's blood knife doesn't actually work. So–and Dean, for some reason is just like, “Oh my God! Barbara Eden was so hot!” Like, it’s been thirty seconds of Dean on screen, and so far he's talked about wanting to fuck women twice. Like, is there a–like a writing reason for this? Or is that just Dean?
G: Okay, here's the thing. Uh, wait, to answer your question, like, “Is there a writing reason for this?” I don't fucking know. [laughs] But, uh, this entire episode, it just reeks of misogyny.
C: Yeah.
G: It's like–
C: It's so funny near the end when like, djinn Sam is like, “Please don't go, Dean!” And then a girlband manifests from around him. [both laughing]
G: No, it’s just, it's so evident that Supernatural really does see women as solely like, mothers, and like, wives and girlfriends, you know, like, these women don't have inner lives.
C: Yeah.
G: They're just here, and I get that, like, it's like, complicated in that this is like, the dream world of a misogynistic man.
C: Right, it’s just Dean–
G: Right, so it’s like, misogynistic for that reason. But you can argue the same about Supernatural, especially up until this point of the show that, like, a lot of the women that they–that show up on screen really just only serve that–as that purpose. As love interests, or as fucking baby incubators. You know, it's just–Jesus, man.
C: Yep. Yeah. Also, we have to remember that this was written by Raelle Tucker, one of the creators of the Andreaverse. [G laughs]
G: Andreaverse is still the funniest thing that we’ve developed in this podcast. Literally the amount of women in the Andrea Supernaturall verse is astounding.
C: Yeah, good for all of them. Or not. Yeah, um, Sam says that djinns usually live in ruins, where they hide out, uh, and Dean says, “Okay, I found a place, and I'll go check it out.” And Sam goes, “Wait, wait, come pick me up first!” And Dean’s like, “No.” [laughs] And that’s this entire season. Yeah, and he says, “I’m sure it's nothing. I just want to take a look around.” Which is, like, more callous than Dean usually is about cases with potentially dangerous creatures, right?
G: Well, he did go down into that fucking–like, when he's alone, he's stupid as shit for some reason. [C laughs] Like, remember that time in “Scarecrow” where he just went down into the haunted, uh, thing without any weapons or whatever?
C: Oh my god. Yeah.
G: And you were like, “Why does he not have any weapons?” And it's like well, because he's stupid as fuck, that’s why. [C laughs]
C: So true. I was gonna try to make a theory that something in him subconsciously was like, “I want a wish granted, and I don't want Sam there for it.” But you're right. He's just stupid, actually. [both laugh]
-
C: He shows up to some factory, and he goes through, it's abandoned, and he's looking around, it's dark and stuff, and then suddenly, [laughing] this bald white guy with face tattoos shows up. Oh my god. Yeah, um, so, right. Bee has told us that djinns can't actually be seen, you only see a vision of them that they create, and it's usually a person that you know, not a bald white guy with face tattoos.
G: Yeah. I feel like that's such a missed opportunity on Supernatural behalf.
C: Yeah. Like, it could literally be Mary right now, you guys.
G: I–imagine, like, this episode, but instead of stabbing himself, Dean has to stab Mary.
C: Yes!
G: Why, why, why didn't he do that? Why did he not have to kill his mother that he wished to come alive to kill the djinn? Yeah.
C: Right? Like, we already know that Dean is suicidal, like, been there done that, make him kill Mary. [both laugh]
G: Make him kill his own mother.
C: Yep. And they could also possess someone or something, uh, and basically they live in a realm that we can't see, because their true forms can drive a man mad. Neat.
-
C: So–right. So this guy shows up, and he like, attacks Dean, and then his hand starts glowing blue in the jankiest special effect I've ever seen, and his eyes glow, and he puts his hand on Dean's forehead, and Dean passes out, and we get our splash screen
G: Actually, I read in the Wiki that the–the blue flame in their hand is a reference to the fact that, like, according to the lore, like, djinns, are made from–
C: Oh, from fire.
G: From, like, from–yeah, like from fire. From smokeless fire, I think is the term that they used in the Wiki. So, [laughs] at least they were trying to do something.
C: Yeah.
G: So Dean wakes up, and he's hashtag shirtless in a hashtag house, in a hashtag bed–why am I doing this?
C: Also, the necklace that he’s wearing isn’t the Samulet.
G: It’s different. It’s not the Samulet. Yeah.
C: Right. So he just wears a necklace. Like, he bought one, and he wore it because he's our special jewelry boy. Uh, and also, he wasn't on top, or else it would have swung and hit Carmen in the face. Just a thought. [G laughing]
G: Um, sure, yeah.
C: I mean, you can’t wear necklaces in bed if you’re on top, like, it will hit people in the face,
G: I mean, I've never had occasion to wear a necklace while on top, but I will believe you.
C: I’ve talked to friends who wanted to keep their jewelry on in bed and couldn't because it kept swinging and hitting their partner in the face. [G laughs]
G: Uh, anyway, he wakes up, and there's a woman, and of course we get a shot of her legs as it pans up her body.
C: Yeah. And she’s naked.
G: Because this is Supernatural, in case you forgot. And so Dean is like, “Okay, what is happening?” So he gets up, and he's wearing a Henley. OMG! Okay [laughs], he's wearing a Henley this episode and I feel like this is really the first time that at least I have noticed Dean wearing a Henley, and in my head, this is like, the Dean look, you know, and I know, like, most people probably say it's the leather jacket, or like a flannel, the red one from when he was a demon, or like, the bisexual one [laughs] that the people–that don’t want to be–the purple one or something.
C: It’s such a stretch. It’s barely purple, you guys, I’m sorry. [G laughing]
G: Well, I support people who call it the bisexual shirt.
C: Mm.
G: But, for me, the Dean look is the Henley, and–I am miserable because whenever I look up “Henley,” like, on stores here in the Philippines, like, nothing shows up, people–people don't call anything “Henley” here, and I have never found it in like, a department store or anything. So I still don't have one, which is very misery-inducing.
C: Yeah.
G: But one day I will, and I will be like, “OMG, I'm just like Dean Winchester for real.” [laughing]
C: So true.
G: So true.
-
C: Let's talk about his interior design in this home that he supposedly lives in. First off, he has a TV in his bedroom, right? But it's–isn’t– it's on the side wall, like, on his side of the bed, so he literally bought a TV to put in his room that only he can watch.
G: Oh my god, you're right. You're right. [laughs]
C: Sick, sick in the head.
C: Also, in the kitchen we see that he has a guitar.
G: Aww.
C: I'm going to say that Carmen plays it, though.
G: Dean canonically knows how to play the guitar.
C: Oh, really, from when?
G: Yeah.
C: From the karaoke episode, or–
G: No, from “Bad Boys.”
C: Is that the one where he gets sent to the boy’s home for–
G: Yeah.
C: For shoplifting because John’s the worst man alive?
G: Yeah, it’s that one. I think he plays the guitar there with his gf Robin.
C: Aww, yeah, okay–
G: So cute.
C: The thing is, I don't think I could take any Dean doing music seriously, because now I'm just like, “That's just Jackles trying to promote Radio Company.” [G laughs]
G: Okay, not to bash Radio Company, but like, why is it called Radio Company?
C: Yeah.
G: I literally–that's such a bad name, right?
C: I agree.
G: Radio Company. “What's the name of your music label?” “Radio Company.” “So is it called Radio–” “No no no no, it's called Radio Company.” “So, the Radio Company–”
C: Also, that song that everyone's, like, all, like, gaga over, cause, like, it–
G: “You were watching over me.” That one.
C: Yeah, the lyrics are so generic, and the song is so boring [G laughs], and like–sorry if this is about someone who died in your life, like, genuinely, like, if that's your way of expressing it, then, like, good for you. But, like, we don't need to care about it, like, that's for you. Like, I don't care about it. Because it's not good.
G: No, wait, I’m looking up the lyrics–Radio Company–
C: “Lay it on, it on, it on, it on, [both laughing] now that I can see, now that I can see, couldn’t bear to talk, to talk, to talk, without the will to breathe, without the will to breathe.”
G: We’re so mean, we're so mean. I'm going to cut off half of this because it's so mean. But yeah, yeah. [C laughs]
I've listened to a bit of Radio Company because we've had mutuals–oh, we still have them–we have mutuals who are like, “Oh, but the songs are actually decent, like, the songs are actually good, like you should give them a shot,” and I was like, “Okay, I'll give it a shot,” and I was sorely disappointed. I think I've said this before, either in an outtake or over here, but like, I feel like Radio Company songs try so hard to be deep, and then I read the lyrics, and they're just completely fucking incomprehensible. [both laugh] And like–
C: Maybe that's because Jensen Ackles is too smart for you, Grey. [G laughs]
G: Yeah, exactly. That must be the reason why. [C laughs] I am way too stupid for Radio Company's caliber of songwriting.
C: Exactly.
G: Anyway. Uh, Dean walks around and he calls Sam.
C: Yeah, okay, did you see what was on Sam’s fucking phone?
G: Yes! [C screams] I took a picture!
C: I did too!
G: I'm going to recite it.
C: You read it.
G: So, Sam Winchester, texting Christopher Cooper. Here goes. “Hey, dude, dot dot dot dot [both laugh], how are you doing, man? I'm doing pretty darn good [C screaming]- I’m doing pretty darn good myself. I've been meaning to sit down and write you, but I've been so darn [C scream-laughing] busy. I’ve been [laughing] meaning to call, too. But hey, what's a fella to do?” [C screaming]
G: I–I'm in love with this. I genuinely–
C: Yeah.
G: Why does he talk like this?
C: [laughing] Need me some dick from a man who types like this.
G: First of all, they can say “damn” in Supernatural.
C: Yeah. So Sam just doesn’t.
G: Sam’s just like, “I'm texting my highbrow friend, who definitely one hundred percent does not curse,” and–
C: Right, and I’m sure lawyers curse all the time in the office. I mean, have you seen Suits? Not [laughs]–I haven’t either, but I’m sure they curse in there.
G: I mean, have you seen Better Call Saul? I haven’t either, [both laugh] but I'm sure they also curse there.
C: Have you seen this like, Extraordinary Attorney Woo?
G: Whoo! They don’t curse-
C: They don't curse in there, but, you know, I’m sure they do actually. [laughs]
G: Yeah, have you played Ace Attorney: Investigations: 2? [C laughs] It's the best game in the franchise, and they don't curse there, but he isn't a lawyer for half of it. So that's the reason why.
C: God also, god, are we–okay, so we’re assuming this is like, a fellow Stanford friend that we haven't met yet?
G: Yeah.
C: Okay, I think that he's an ex and that's why Sam is typing like this. [G laughs] Like, “Oh my god, yeah, like, I had so much fun that night ten years ago. Sorry for not calling back for the whole time. I’ve just been so darn busy! By the way, I'm engaged now, so stop texting me.” [laughs]
G: Exactly.
-
G: Yeah, but Sam picks up. And at this point, we're still not aware that Dean is in a dream world where the Sam is different. So Sam picks up, and you think he's gonna respond about the case or something. But Dean says like, some things about the case, and Sam doesn't know, and he says, “Quit playing, the djinn, the djinn got to me,” and Sam is like, “What, you've been drinking gin?” Which is the beginning of a running thing in this episode where everyone assumes Dean is drunk all the time, implying that he has a history of drinking in this universe, and is quite possibly an alcoholic.
C: Yeah. Hmm.
G: Sad. This is like–when, when Sam called, this is when I was like, “Okay, I think I'm gonna end up crying this episode.” [laughs]
C: Awww.
G: Because um, I mean, there's a scene later where we can get- we can really get into it. But just the whole thing of like, having a sibling that you're not close with is a very sad idea for me, and they really fucking hammer it in this episode, like, Sam and Dean do not get along, and as we will see later, I think Sam kind of actively hates the guy. [laughs]
C: Yeah.
G: And, uh, yeah, it's sad. And it made me really emotional, like, watching this episode because of that. And also the Mary stuff.
C: Mm.
G: Anyway, uh, Sam is insisting that Dean is drunk dialing him, and Dean is like, “Ugh, whatever.” Sam hangs up and he closes the book he's reading that you think it's about lore, and it’s…
C: Criminal Law and Procedure! Go lawboy go.
G: Hell yeah, go lawboy go. At this point, he’s in law school already, right?
C: Uh, yeah, well–right, right. Because right now he’d be like, twenty-four? So yeah, I guess he'd still be in grad school. Awww, he’s so young! He’s a little baby! Okay. [laughs] Anyway.
So right, Dean investigates the room a bit. He sees that there's a lot of mail in the house, some of which is addressed to Carmen Porter at 53 Bark Avenue in Lawrence, Kansas. And some mail that's addressed to Dean here, and Dean's confused about it being Lawrence and about him supposedly living here. And Carmen wakes up, and just does the typical girlfriend thing where she's like, "Honey, what are you doing up? Oh, you can't sleep? Well, why don't you come back to bed and let's see if I can do anything to help." Ugh! Ugh, like, has anyone-
G: So fucking-
C: - said any of these words in this order, like in real life?
G: I mean, I'm sure it has happened. But [both laughing] the way that Supernatural portrays it is so funny. God! I can stop thinking- while watching this episode- I tried to watch Breaking Bad. I think I've mentioned this in the podcast before. I tried to watch Breaking Bad, and it did not work out. So me and Breaking Bad has broken up.
C: Yeah.
G: But like, in the very first episode of that show, it's Walter White's birthday, and like, when they come bed, the woman who's typing on her laptop or something just starts fucking jacking him off. [C laughs] And he's like, "What's the occasion?" And she's like, "Well, it's your birthday." This is the vibe. Like- [laughs] it's just so funny to me, because it's like, this is pretty much that scene, but in Supernatural they were like, "But it's sexy." [both laughing] Like-
C: God, like take a sleeping pill, Dean! Like- [laughs] Ah, so good. And by that, I mean it's so bad. [G laughs] Like, this is Dean's brain. This is what he thinks married life is, or like long-term relationship life is, right? It's just sex on tap and no personality from the woman.
G: It does make me sad that, like, I think the reason is- because this woman could have been anyone. This woman could have been [both] Cassie. Or Lisa, or, you know, literally anyone. But like, the reason why it's not those people is because Dean only met them through hunting.
C: Yeah.
G: So he couldn't have met them here.
C: But honestly, like, I don't think Sam would have gone to Stanford specifically if it weren't for hunting and him wanting to get as far away from his family as possible, you know? Like, Dean could have still met Cassie in this universe in some way.
G: Yeah, perhaps so. But-
C: Yeah, I get why they didn't make her Cassie. Besides, then they would have had to give her a personality.
G: Yeah, also, like, I don't like the idea of them playing with Cassie's character any more than in “Route 666.” Because, like, if they put her here, she's gonna have to be like, "Oh, Dean, why don't we have sex so you can sleep?" [C laughs] Like, I don't want her to go through that.
C: Yeah.
G: Even if it's a dream world, I don't want her to be depersonalized and decharacterized like that. So.
C: So- Right, also, I guess, because part of the point of this is that, like- Oh! No, they should have fucking shown this. Because the point is like, "Oh, we couldn't save the people that we saved through hunting, so they all died." Cassie would have died from the truck.
G: Oh my god. Yeah.
C: But they didn't show Dean reading an article about her dying. I feel like that would've been way more impactful than the other cases that he reads about.
G: Yeah. Because, like, "Here's a love in my life that's not real, like that I didn't develop or experience firsthand. It's just been laid on my lap. And here's a love that I actually did experience, and it was real, and it was complex, and it was bitter sweet. But it was real." And like, that would have been a nice contrast.
C: Yeah, and she died! Oh, god.
So Dean says, "Yeah, in a minute. But you go ahead." Which I know he's just replying to the "come back to bed" part, but it really sounds like "You go back to bed and wait an hour before like, you give me your handjob so I can fall asleep. [both laugh] Like, stay up for an hour before you provide this service for me on my time." Mr. Put the TV on the Side Wall on His Side of the Bed.
So yeah. So she kisses him, and Dean makes a face during that. I guess it's a surprised face.
G: Yeah.
C: Yeah. So he looks around at the photos in the house, and there is one of Carmen alone, and then some of him and her together. And then he turns it around, and like, you see something in his face change, and he's doing his whole like, [G mimics a gasp] shock and lip wobble shit. And he walks slowly to this photo that we can't see, and he like, picks it up, and he looks at it with his sad, large eyes, his anime boy eyes, and then he drops it, and he leaves the room.
-
G: Yeah.
And then we see that he's driving, and he still has Baby in this universe, so that's fun.
C: Yeah.
G: I don't know how that would have worked out because he went back in time to tell John to get the car, but he only could have gotten back in time if he did the thing, the hunting.
C: Yeah, I mean, I guess they weren't thinking up to season five at this point. [G laughs] But yeah. Cinemasins ding indeed.
G: Yeah. [laughs] I literally did not consider that they were not thinking up to season 5 at this point. [laughs] I was like, "There's a plothole here. I wonder why they didn't notice." And it's like, "Oh, yeah, because we're in fucking season 2." [C laughs]
But yeah, he still has Baby. He drives up to this address, and it's a familiar house. Is it? Yeah, yeah, it's the house from the pilot.
C: I can't tell, but I guess so.
G: But yeah, I guess it's familiar to him. He knocks, and he knocks quite like loudly and stuff. And the lights turn on, and out comes... [both] Mary! Dean goes, "Mom?" And I think they made this shot similar to the shot of Mary coming back in season 11 because, like, I mean, at least the thing that Dean says. Because I think in season 11, Mary comes out of a house or is like standing in a field or something. I don't know. But like, it like, zooms in on Dean's face as he goes, "Mom?" and that's the- it's the same shot here. And like, I don't know if it's on purpose, but like, it's probably something that just happened to look similar, but yeah, like it reminded me of that, and I'm like, "Omg, she's gonna be back for real." And honestly, okay, tangent. But bringing Mary back for season 12 is like, one of the best things Supernatural ever did-
C: Agreed.
G: - and I am so excited for us to get there in [laughs] a couple of years.
C: [laughs] Yeah.
G: In like, fucking five years or so. I'm so excited.
C: Right. Once you're in law school.
G: [laughing] Once I'm literally in fucking law school and studying to be a lawyer and like, I'm still sitting here recording my Supernatural podcast. So true of us.
C: Yeah, right. Also, speaking of season 12, like, if this is how Dean thinks that Mary would act like, [laughing] no wonder he's such a misogynistic jerk to her when she gets back.
G: No, exactly, that's-
C: "Mom, you are not making me a sandwich right now. Something feels off." [laughs]
G: That's exactly what I was going for, I just forgot to say it. [laughs] That's why I brought up Mary in season 12. But like, the contrast between Mary here, the Mary in Dean's imagination, and the Mary that we actually get when she does come back, like, that's why it's so good. That's why Mary coming back was so good. And I actually feel like that is such a meaningful arc for everyone involved, and Mary being killed in season 14 [C groans] for shock value- Yeah, it's not good. [laughs] They rui- I mean, I understand that, like, at some point they had to be like, "Everyone is gonna die." But like, they did it in season 15, right? So like, why did they have to push Mary's death back this far? And [laughing], god, they were like, "But she's happy in Heaven, so it's fine if she's dead." [both laughing] Like, it's genuinely the funniest shit.
C: It really is. I'm so sad Mary didn't make it to season fifteen because she should have confronted Chuck.
G: Yeah. Like, if anyone here is a pawn piece, it's Mary. Like, she's really [laughs]- she's really the person that has been tossed around a lot and discarded and re-carded [C laughs]. Is that a word? Can you re-card after your discard? But it's just- yeah. Mary is a good character when we meet her, and what she represents-
C: Also, she could've met Eileen!
G: What?
C: In season 15. She could have met Eileen in season 15. Total tangent, but I would have liked to see it. Okay, back to you. [G laughs]
G: Back to me. I was saying that Mary, as a character, when we do finally meet her, is so good. Mary, as an idea, as we know her now, is also good. Like, not as a character, but what she represents in the show right now as like, this mother figure that's kind of just an idea. Like, she's not even a real person. Like, I'm not saying that it's a good thing [laughs] that they have a woman be represented in that way, I'm saying like, in a universe where they knew what they were doing and were like, "Okay, we're gonna do this, and it's gonna be a symbol of how we tend to idolize, and like deitify the dead people in our lives to the point that it can be used by John in this way as like, something to hover over the boys as like, 'You need to be courageous because Mary's watching over you!' stuff like that." That's a good concept. I'm still not too sure if they execute it well enough at this point, or I'm just blinded by the fact that Mary comes back, and I know what happens there. But I just- I really like Mary. And I'm excited for the episodes a little later on in the show where it focuses on her. Like, the ones that are flashback episodes.
C: Yeah.
G: Yeah, because... [trails off] Sorry, I just-
C: [laughing] Well, if you like Mary, there's a show coming up- [screams]
G: [laughing] Literally, the pause that I made when I was talking and I just stopped talking, that was because I remembered the prequel, and I started being like going. "Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, aghhh." Like, this is such a misery.
C: God, like, such a misery!
G: That's not Mary.
C: That's not my girl.
G: That's not Mary.
C: It's not my girl.
C: It's not a girl.
G: We've been on this tangent for so long, but-
C: But it's her, so.
G: So Mary opens the door, right, and she greets Dean, and she looks like, you know, she's been woken up, she's wearing a robe and stuff. And Dean is like, "Mom?" And we start seeing Dean look like he's about to cry. And this is the most vulnerable we've seen Dean so far. And it does get to you, or at least it did get to me. Because it's- like, I feel like the last time we saw him this emotional was like when he was crying on the phone to John about how he's scared of going home. And now he is home, and Mary is here. And like, the idea of that makes me emotional, that this is the only thing that makes Dean this weak. The idea of home and the idea of Mary. And now he has it, and- He should have killed Mary at the end of this episode. [C laughs] Like, this is- I'm still not reiterating that. This is how this episode should have went. Raelle Tucker, hire me as your script supervisor. [C laughs]
G: Anyway, they come in, and apparently, Carmen called Mary that Dean just bolted.
Which is such a weird thing to do, right?
C: Yeah.
G: Like, first, okay, you're living with your husband/wife/partner, and they run off in the middle of the night. Do you call their mom? [C laughs] I feel like that's a weird choice.
C: Yeah, like she didn't even text him? Like, "Hey, where are you going?" No, straight to-
G: [laughing] "Should I call your mom?"
G: Yeah, anyway, Dean asks, like, "Let me ask you a question. What did you used to say to me when I was younger before bed?" And Mary is like, "Why?" And Dean's like, "Just answer the question, please?" And she says, "I would tell you that angels were watching over you." And Dean breaks, and he's like, "Fuck. It really is you." And he goes to hug her very tightly. Mary is like, "What is happening? You're kind of scaring me." But Dean, you know, stops hugging her, and he's like, "Oh, you're beautiful," and it's like- [C laughing] When he said "You're beautiful," I was like, "Crystal is not gonna like this line."
C: I mean, it makes sense given the context, but now that-
G: Imagine that- yeah, yeah.
C: - we're thinking about the season 5 episodes, with- what did he say?
G: Oh noo! Oh no.
C: "I'm going to hell, but Mom was kind of a babe"? [laughing]
G: Ahhh, I hate Supernatural so much it's unreal!
C: So much. Oh, god. Also, speaking of that episode- because the “angels are watching over you” thing, like, we're supposed to think that that's like subliminal from like, Mary's memory getting erased or something from when Anna came back. So I guess it's nice to think that she's still a hunter in this universe, she's just also chilling in her robe at home. [C laughs]
G: She's like, "I'm a hunter, and I know about the supernatural, but I'm just living my life."
C: Yeah, and I'm not gonna tell my kids about it.
G: Do you think- Okay, I was gonna post this question, and like, I think the answer is pretty obvious. But like, do you think it was wrong of John to hunt?
C: Yes.
G: Like, obviously yes for the circumstances, right. But if it was like, they're at home, and they have a life together, like Mary and him, and they have the boys, and he still went out hunting but didn't tell them. Do you think that would be wrong, still?
C: Hm. Like, but didn't- okay, well, I mean, I think that Bill Harvelle was fine for hunting when he had a family that didn't hunt.
G: Yeah, but-
C: But I feel like you do need to tell your spouse at least so that they're like aware of the risk of losing you and stuff.
G: I think the question I'm trying to post specifically is, once you know about the supernatural, is it your responsibility to save the people it can harm?
C: Dean asks this to John's grave.
G: Yeah, like Dean asks this, and the answer the show gives is, "Yes, it is your responsibility." But, like you. What do you think?
C: I think that you should probably do something, but that doesn't necessarily mean putting your life at risk. It can just mean like, warning other people, or like asking other people to look into things.
G: Yeah. Do you think the idea of a centralized hunting community is bad? Like, where like, everyone is aware of it?
C: Like everyone in the hunting community, or everyone in the world?
G: Everyone in the world.
C: I feel like everyone in the world should just know.
G: Yeah.
C: Like, why keep it from them?
G: Yeah, I guess so.
C: They're all like, "No one will believe us!" But like, if you tell enough people and get enough video evidence, like, eventually, they will. Especially because they're like, "No one will believe us ever!" And then, in every single episode like, anyone they help believes it by the end. Like, we've never had an episode where they're like, "What kind of drugs did you guys put me on? You didn't save my life." Or anything at the end. Like, everyone believes them at the end. [G laughs]
G: This so funny, but this reminds me of what happened in "Scoobynatural."
C: What happens in Scoo-
G: Have you watched?
C: No.
G: No, you have not. So in "Scoobynatural," the Scooby gang gets terrified that like, "Oh my god, the Supernatural is real!" And they're so freaked out. So Sam and Dean formulate this whole thing where it's like, "Oh, it's not actually a ghost. It's actually like a realtor or something. [C laughing] And ghosts don't actually exist." And they fucking gaslight the shit out of the Scooby gang [both laughing] to be like, "It's not real." And at some point, Sam is like, "You never believed it. You always questioned it in your mind, and you were right to question it because they don't exist." [C laughs] All I was thinking of was like, "This is so fucking funny that they're doing this to the fucking Scooby gang." [C laughs] But yes. I'm enamored by the opposite of that scenario where it's Sam and Dean are trying to convince people where now they're trying to convince people that ghosts are not real. God. "Scoobynatural" is such a fun episode. Except for the atrocities. [both laugh]
C: Except for the atrocities.
C: Ay-yi-yi. They really were like, "Let's just pick one teenage girl per Supernatural guy." Well, I guess Cas didn't get anyone because he's better than that. But yeah, they were like "Let's just pair up Sam and Dean with like, teenage Scooby Doo characters. And like, we'll give Sam the sapiosexual one 'cause she wears glasses, and we'll give Dean the one that everyone thinks is a brainless bimbo! Alright guys. Good work. Take five."
G: To be fair, they gave the weed-smoking guy to Cas. [both laugh]
C: Oh, so true. Yeah. The Scooby gang are teenagers, right? Like, that's like canon?
G: Yeah, they're high schoolers.
C: Mm. Yeah. So true of Shaggy to smoke weed in high school. That's what everyone should do.
G: Let's look up what age Shaggy is in the Scooby gang. 'Cause he looks like an old guy.
C: Yeah, but also, I don't know, some high school seniors look old. Like, they have like facial hair, at least. But yeah, no, okay, Shaggy's appearance is actually an anti-weed PSA. [both laugh] Don't smoke weed, kids. You're gonna look 40.
G: No, yeah, so him and Fred are 17, Daphne is 16, and Velma is 15. [laughs]
C: Oh my god, Sam, you- hm. Alright. Alright. K.
G: So yeah, I like "Scoobynatural" except for the atrocities. [laughs]
C: Yep.
G: Ugh.
C: [laughing] This episode is gonna be so long, and none of it will be about the episode!
G: [laughing] I told you I didn't want to talk about it! [both laughing]
Let's speed through the episode. Let's reshape our format into something faster in like, less than an hour.
C: But we need to image describe every single photograph [both laughing] that we see in this room! Like, the fucking shoddy-ass Photoshop jobs and early days lesbian Jackles.
G: [laughing] There's a photo here- Later on, he wakes up, and the reason why he realizes this is not a dream is because there is a photo of like Sam, and like John and Mary, and when Dean opens his eyes, I literally bursted out laughing. Like, it's so bad. It's genuinely-
C: Which one- is this the graduation one-
G: Yes, yes.
C: - where JDM looks like the most photoshopped man in existence and also it's clearly Jared Padalecki's like, University of Texas, or whatever graduation photo.
G: Yeah. And they were like, "It's Stanford, baby!" [both laughing]
C: I'm gonna look up what the Stanford graduation colors are. I'm pretty sure red is right, though
G: Yeah, no. That's true. But it has to be a deeper red, right? Because Stanford is like maroon, almost.
C: Yeah, Google Images is not being kind to me. I guess they could have just done color replace in Photoshop, though.
Okay, so in Stanford, you actually wear like a black robe in everything, but you have like a red- what is it called?
G: Sash?
C: Yeah, it's called a sash even though it looks like a scarf the way you wear it. Yeah. So yeah. I call bullshit,
Anyway- God. [laughs] Anyway, there's iconic-
G: Oh, by the way, we haven't said yet [laughs], but what's happening right now is that like, Dean is looking through the photos in the room, and that's the photos we are talking about currently. Like, he's looking at graduation pictures, and everything is badly edited. So it's extremely funny what's happening this scene,
C: And he's- there's like a prom photo that's definitely just Jensen Ackles and his date at prom, and they look like lesbians. It looks like a lesbian couple. Trans Dean truthing, for real.
G: And at some point-
C: [laughs] The softball photo?
G: At some point, there's a softball photo of John holding a baseball bat. Okay, first of all, why is John playing softball? [laughs] Isn't that a lesbian sport?
C: Yeah, exactly. I don't know. Maybe, like, older men play softball because the baseball like, if it hits them in the face-
G: Is more dangerous, yeah.
C: - they immediately die?
G: Yeah, I guess so.
C: Yeah. Right. I mean the John Winchester we know would never agree to play softball because it's a lesbian sport. But I guess maybe in this universe where Mary didn't die, he's less toxic masculine.
G: [laughs] I was gonna make a joke that like, I am the most unathletic person I know, and in high school we played softball, and it was the only thing I was good at. [both laughing]
C: Makes you think.
G: Makes you think! [laughing] It was literally the only thing I was half-competent in, which is incredibly funny in retrospect. So yeah, maybe John is transmasc, and that's why he's playing softball.
C: Exactly. Or maybe John's a he/him lesbian in this universe with Mary. [laughs]
G: Exactly. Who would have thought? Not me. But it is what it is.
C: Yeah, it's canon. Just like these photos canonized trans Dean. There's like another photo of young Dean, and he looks like such a lesbian. Like his outfit- like, god, what is it? He's like wearing a baseball-
G: [laughing] Wait, the one you sent me? [C laughing]
C: Yes.
G: [laughing] Wait, I'm going to read the message that you sent along with it, because I thought it was so funny. Okay [laughing], okay. This is Crystal's message along with this photo of Jensen Ackles looking like- he's wearing like a red flannel vest-
C: A fucking flannel vest.
G: - over a shirt and a cap. And Crystal said, "SPN props team scrambling to find a photo of young Jackles that looks the least twinky: Uh, Eric? We have a bad news." [both laughing]
C: Oh, god. Yeah, that was- it's so funny! I just don't think you'll understand how twinky it looks unless we post it or something. But like god, it's so good.
C: So yeah. So back to the softball thing.
G: Yeah. Dean is like, "Wow, he plays-" maybe this is what Dean was referencing too. Like, he thinks softball is a lesbian sport, and he's like, "Why is Dad playing softball?" [C laughs] And Mary has to break it to him that like, your dad was a he/him lesbian. [C laughing] So. And basically, Dean was like, "Isn't it so funny that he plays softball?" And Mary's like, "Well, he loved that team."
C: [laughs] Uh-huh.
G: And Dean was like, "Wait, Dad's dead?" And Mary's like-
C: And honestly, I would have been so stupid. I would've been like, "Oh, no, the team disbanded?"
G: [laughing] I know, me too. Literally how do you proceed straight to death? What if he just left the team, you know?
C: Right. What if he had like, drama with his fellow he/him lesbians on the team, as he/him lesbians are wont to do, and that's why the team is like past tense? [both laugh]
G: Exactly.
C: Also, to be clear, he/him lesbians are the backbone of our society and I don't want to disparage you by saying that John was one of you. [laughs]
G: [laughing] Yeah, exactly. It is actually offensive to be in any group than John belongs in.
Dean asks like, "Okay, what killed Dad?" And Mary says, "A stroke killed him in his sleep. You know about this." And [both laughing] then, Dean says, "Yeah, that's good."
C: [laughing] "That's great." He says, "That's great."
G: That's great.
C: So true.
G: And Mary's like, "It's great that he died?" And Dean says, "Well, it's great that he died in his sleep peacefully. Like, it beats the alternative of, I don't know, being tortured in Hell for eternity after you sell your soul to a demon."
C: [laughs] Yeah, just as an example.
G: And then Mary concludes that Dean has been drinking and goes to call Carmen, and Dean is like, "No, don't do that. I'll stay here." And "I miss the place." And "You go to bed, and I'll just sleep on the couch." And then we get the scene-
C: The shot.
G: That everyone, yeah, the shot that everyone loves and adores. Where it's a close up of Dean's face, and Mary comes over to him and caresses his face and says, like, "Are you sure you're okay? Get some rest." Blah blah blah. And Dean like leans into the touch. It's pretty- like, I would say it would have been emotional if I wasn't so hyperaware of this scene, you know?
C: Yeah.
G: Like I would have liked it better if I didn't know that everyone likes it so much, and it's like, in every single AMV and gifset and whatnot about Dean and being touched-starved or whatever. Anyway-
C: And she says, "I love you"!
G: Yeah, she says "I love you." And Dean doesn't say it back.
C: Aw. That's the first time that Dean's ever been- that anyone's said "I love you" to Dean in the show.
G: Yeah.
C: Sam has gotten one "I love you" so far in the entire show, and it was from Jess's voicemail, and then she died, and this is Dean's first. F.
G: "I love you." Yeah. There's one that I remember. It's like when he said, "I love the guy" about John.
C: Yeah.
G: But he was like, kind of insulting him because he says he writes like Yoda. [C laughs] And Cas was like, "It's beautiful handwriting!" Because he is a liar and a fiend.
C: Yeah. He was like, "I need to know how to get into Dean's pants, because right now, I'm so depressed and suicidal [both laugh]. I need his dick to fix me, and if the only thing I can do to get that is to compliment his dad, then so be it."
G: Yeah.
C: Yeah.
So right, so Dean wakes up the next day, and we get like, a Christmas photo, it looks like, of the whole family together, and it looks fucking ridiculous because of how clearly Photoshopped it is. And also, young Jackles just looks really, really out of place in it. Like, the photo quality's different from the other photos or whatever. But we do see baby Sammy in it! And he's so cute! And also transgender. So. [G laughs]
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C: So he calls Sam, but it's his voicemail. So he hangs up, and he shows up in the office of some professor. And Dean's doing that thing where he's like, "I'm totally one of your students, you just don't remember me." He says, "You kidding me? I love your lectures. You... you make learning fun." So true.
G: He literally looks like a thirty or forty year old man. [both laugh] I mean, he may be a college student-
C: Yeah, it's like, I mean, there are people who go to college late. But usually people would remember you as a student if you're like, on a non-traditional path. So he asks the professor about djinns, and he says that a lot of Muslims believe that the djinn are actually real, and Dean's like, "Yeah, whatever, tell me about the wishes. Can they really do it?" He says, "Say you had a wish, but you never even said it out loud. Like that a loved one came back, or never died, or that something awful never happened." Has he really never said out loud, "I wish Mary didn't die"? That's sad.
So yeah, he says that that is possible because they have God-like power, and they can alter reality however they want. Which does match up with what Bee said to us about djinns, so at least this professor knows his stuff. So yeah, they don't directly grant wishes, but because they can alter reality, then that is something in their wheelhouse. And Dean keeps asking like, "Why would they do it, though? Maybe it's not really evil." And the professor asks if Dean has been drinking, and Dean says, "Everyone keeps asking me that, but no."
Why do you think that the logical conclusion of this universe is that Dean would be an alcoholic? Like Mary's alive, and like, why do you think- Like, I know that like people just become alcoholics for like many reasons in their lives, some mundane. But you know, since this is a Supernatural episode, they had to have a reason that they think that Dean would end up here in the universe where he's like, a normal kid growing up, right?
G: Perhaps it's the show trying to tell us that, like, he doesn't fit in here.
C: Right, like, he needs a purpose in hunting somehow?
G: Yeah.
C: But he doesn't even want to do it! But the show wants him to.
G: Yeah, the show wants him to. That's, I think, the point of the drinking. Well, we don't see him drink a lot, really, it's just everyone telling him that he drinks a lot. But I think, like the whole point of that is to be like, "Look, this isn't even like a good place. It's like, you're still miserable."
C: Yeah, I guess so.
G: But- you. What's your perspective on this?
C: Like if I take away the whole- because it's like, I feel like I can't think of it without the show's intentions, because, you know, later, when, like Sam, confronts Dean, he's basically like, "You're a really bad brother." I was like, "Is that the show saying that Dean's only a good brother because John abandoned them in motels, and he had to learn to be selfless, and that otherwise, Dean would like, sleep with Sam's prom date?" Like, is the show, saying like, "Abuse and abandonment made Dean a better brother!" Like- [laughs]
G: Ugh. Come on, Supernatural.
C: Come on, Supernatural. So I was like, is the show saying that, like, Dean, in his natural state, would be an alcoholic, and like, not give money back to his family and steal his mom's silverware, and it's only through hunting that Dean toughened up and straightened up? Like- I can't tell.
G: But immediately after that, Dean goes, "Yeah, that sounds like me."
C: That's true.
G: Which, you know, implies that in their universe, he would also be doing this shit.
C: Yeah, but the other- like, I feel like he wouldn't have like taken Sam's ATM card. Well, but I guess it's because neither of them have valid ATM cards [laughs], so who knows?
G: Yeah. He takes other people's ATMs, so- [laughs]
C:Yeah, Sam says that Dean bailed on his graduation, which I mean, I guess Dean would do because he's mad at Sam for abandoning the family, but I feel like in this universe, you're just supposed to think that, like, Dean just doesn't care so he didn't show up because he didn't want to bother, which I don't think is something Dean would do.
G: I feel like it's also kind of- Like, the way I think about it, like, the reason why Sam and Dean don't get all along, it's not because Dean is a horrible person, but because Dean is kind of a stuck-up bitch? [both laugh] So like he's kind of a- like, Sam is portrayed as an asshole, right?
C: Yeah, Sam? A bit.
G: So like, I don't know. I mean, Sam is also portrayed like this in real life.
C: Yeah.
G: [laughs] And by real life, I do mean real life. [laughs] No, I mean, like, in, you know, the real universe of Supernatural.
Now that you mention it, like I can't help but think like, are they trying to say that Sam, too, is more understanding and tries to be kinder and all that because of the abuse and torment of his childhood?
C: God, maybe? Okay, no, I think honestly, he's just probably like, mean in this universe because he's in law school, and he has like essays coming up. Like, if my brother took my ATM card like, while I was studying for a test, I'd be mad at him, too. Like, he could do it whenever else, but like, I'm busy and stressed. I'm in law school. I'm gonna be a lawboy. [laughs] Like, do this later. Like, wait until the summer.
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G: Okay. college campus, he sees some girl standing in the corner. This shot's actually pretty creepy. I was like, "Oh, it's from this episode!" I forgot it. It's pretty creepy.
C: She's wearing a white nightgown. [laughs]
G: Oh god, you're right! Ah! Ugh! Is she wearing that in real life, too?
C: I don't remember.
G: I think she was wearing a white dress.
C: Yeah, so maybe he like, took her from a place where she was wearing a white dress, sure.
G: Yeah. Anyway, Dean is home-
C: Oh, but I do want to mention that when Dean opens his trunk and he sees no weapons, he says, "Well, who would have thought? [both] Baby, we're civilians." Which is-
G: Cute.
C: I feel like Supernatural does make the like soldier and hunter parallels pretty clear. Ugh, John Winchester volunteering for the Vietnam War. [G laughs] I just- I fucking know that in The Winchesters, he's going to be like, "I had to fight monsters too. Asian people." [both laughing] [G screams]
G: I need to throttle John Winchester ASAP.
C: No, you're right, he wouldn't say Asian people, he'd say commies. [both laugh]
G: Noo!
C: But, yeah, you know, civilians. Interesting. Alright, back to your thing.
G: Okay, Dean is in the house, he's eating a sandwich, he's moaning while eating the sandwich-
C: [laughing] Are you seeing what the transcript says?
G: What?
C: The transcript says, "Dean takes a bite out of a big sandwich, grunting 'cause of the goodness."
G: Eugh, that's horrible! [C laughs] That's a horrible image,
I mean, I get it. Have you actually moaned around food before?
C: I feel like fan fiction made that up.
G: No. I mean, I think, when it's like, when you're hungry, it's like, you know how like, when you massage something that's painful in your body, you grunt kind of like, without your permission? What do you call that like? Involuntarily?
C: Yeah, yeah,
G: I feel like the same thing happens when you're really hungry, and then you put food in your mouth for the first time after a while. So. I think it's real. It's just- you're right that, like, media, or like in writing, it's a bit more exaggerated.
This is so funny, because, like they're doing the mom thing where it's like, "Mom makes the best food!"
C: Yeah. It's a sandwich. You just put things on top of each other.
G: And it's like- no, it's just It's funny to me because canonically, we learn later on that Mary is actually a bad cook.
C: Yeah. Queen.
G: And like, the things that he loved from childhood, were like, storebought and stuff. Which is so funny to me. And by funny, I mean, they made her real person! Ah! And then they killed her!
C: Augh, they killed her. From what I can see of the sandwich, it seems to be mostly vegetables, so Dean really loves his mom.
G: There's one giant slab of ham in the middle.
C: Ah, there we go. Dean doesn't love his mom that much.
G: And he's asking like, "Where's Sam?" And Mary was like, "Oh, he's coming over here." And then he asks like, "Has the lawn been mowed? Can I mow it?" And Mary says, "Okay, you can, but you've never operated a lawn mower before. So go nuts."
C: Oh, also, he mentions that he works at a garage, so he's a car mechanic-
G: Oh yeah.
C: - which is sweet.
G: He's a car mechanic!
C: Yeah, I think that's a good Dean job.
G: I think it's a good Dean job, yeah, and I like that they weren't like, because he-
C: Right, they weren't like, "You work a blue collar job, and that's part of why you suck in this universe!" Like, they don't do that, yeah.
G: Yeah, like, he still has the car. I don't know, it's a detail that I really like. That like, that is something fundamental to Dean. Because I mean, we've talked a lot- I mean by we. I mean the fandom has talked a lot about how like, Baby is a representation of Dean and like the fact that he chose it, and the fact that now, even in a universe where Mary is alive and they never go hunting, he still sticks to it like it's a part of his identity. I really like that.
C: Yeah.
G: So hell yeah.
C: Hell yeah.
G: Anyway, he mows the lawn. He does a very bad job of it.
C: [laughs] I screamed while watching this scene.
G: What- if you're mowing the lawn, what's it supposed to look like?
C: Well, there's supposed to be like bits of grass flying up because you're like, cutting the grass.
G: Cutting the grass, yeah.
C: But like, he clearly like, is not because, yeah, the lawn mower is not on, and he's like walking around with the lawn mower- like, I feel like usually, you would try to go in like neat rows or something, because, like the way that the grass is cut, like you sort of see that in the way the lawn works, but he's just sort of like walking around in like random angles and circles, and at some point he, like, runs the lawn mower like, over part of the sidewalk. [laughs]
G: Yeah. He tries to force it in a direction, and it goes the other way. It's quite funny. And at some point, he's waving at a guy-
C: Who clearly knows how to mow a lawn because he's throwing away lawn trimmings-
G: Yeah, and the guy's like, "Okay, cool." And then when he was like. "Ah. I'm done. I have rested well- I have worked well."
C: "I worked so hard."
G: "I've worked so hard, and now I'm going to rest with my coldass, flatass beer [C laughs], and I am going to chill out in the front." And he's having fun. He's cute. He's having fun. Throughout this scene, there's a song playing, "It's a Wonderful-" what is it? "What a Wonderful World," right? But it's a cover of it, so it's like, it's janky and poppy.
C: Oh, I don't know what the original sounds like.
G: I mean, I don't know if this is the original, but I think the original is- the jazz guy, right? What's his name? Okay, Louis Armstrong.
C: Oh, okay. Is it a money thing, or is it that Supernatural doesn't play music by Black artists, except for in the episode about a Black music artist? I guess we'll never know.
G: Oh my God, this guy is like- the guy who sings this cover is like, the lead singer of The Ramones, which is extremely funny. Oh god, that's why he's called Joey Ramone. [both laughing] Wait, are The Ramones literally just like, guys named Ramones?
C: I have no clue.
G: Oh my god, they really are all Ramones.
C: Wow. Are they all siblings? Or did they just say only Ramones allowed.
G: They changed their names.
C: That’s dedication.
G: So this guy’s Christopher Joseph Ward, another person is called Thomas Erdelyi, so they–they changed their name to first name Ramone- first name and then Ramone.
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C: The thing about this whole scene is that in “Bugs,” Dean makes it really clear that he doesn't like suburban life, and he thinks it's all, like, fake, and bad or whatever. But yeah, I guess their point here is that like, despite all that, Mary is his home, so it's all good. He should have killed her for real. [G laughs]
So as Dean's drinking the beer and feeling satisfied with himself for doing zero lawn mowing, a car drives up, and it's–it's like round, the shape of it. It's very cute. Good choice in cars, Sam. So, it's Sam and Jess who get out, and Dean goes. “I don't believe it,” and he, like, hugs Jess really really tight, and he greets Sam with a big smile, and like, slaps him on the shoulder, and he's just really excited that he's with Jess, and Sam's just sort of taken back about all of this, and we find out that Sam flew in from California, where he's at Stanford Law. And Sam makes this judgy comment where he points to the beer Dean has, and he's like, “I see you started off Mom's birthday with a bang as usual.” If you have, like, [laughing] a friend or a family member with a drinking problem, this is not the way to have them get help. Okay, right.
G: That is true. However, as someone who, like, you know, like, I've experienced this with my family, and I usually just shut up in family events. But I've heard, like, other people talk to other people in my family, you know? Like, people really do talk like this.
C: Yeah, yeah, it is pretty often.
G: Yeah! And it’s–it’s quite unfortunate, because it helps nobody.
C: Right.
G: It just creates drama.
C: Yeah. So Dean didn't know that it was Mom’s birthday, so Sam's mad at him about that, but yeah, that's why they're all here today. For that. And they cut to a restaurant.
G: Yeah, and they're all drinking. Mary looks amazing. [laughs]
C: Yeah.
G: She looks amazing. She's wearing a black dress, and they're all there–
C: And her hair is up.
G: Yeah, Dean, like, cracks a joke when his food arrives–
C: He ordered that food. Why didn't he order a meat–why did he say “I want the stack of asparagus,” and then be mad that he got a stack of asparagus.
G: Maybe he can't read. [both laughing] Have we considered that, Crystal?
C: I mean, I'm sure there some–there are also probably some dyslexia Dean truthers out there, in which case, yeah, good for you.
G: So true.
-
G: They do a toast, and Dean and his wife Carmen have a little chat about like, “Oh, I was worried about you.”
C: I think they’re just dating, actually.
G: Oh, they’re just dating. Yeah, later on, he says, “I'm dating a nurse,” right? So they are dating. So they’re talking, and Carmen is still being a cool girl, hashtag I'm a Cool Girl, “We'll get the burger after this,” and stuff like that, and Dean is like, “How did I ever land such a cool chick?” And then they kiss.
C: Who says that about their partner? Who calls their partner a “cool chick”? He’s sick for this.
G: I swear, if anyone, like-
C: Like, break up on the spot.
G: Like, because it's very reminiscent of like, fucking Gone Girl, right?
C: Yeah! Like the Cool Girl monologue.
G: Like, “Oh my God, you’re so cool–”
C: “You're unusual.” [both laughing]
G: “You’re unusual,” it's a break up. [both laughing] Like that one, it's a break up, I'm kicking you out of our shared apartment. We've been together five years, and this is the last straw.
C: It might even be the first straw. But now it's also the last one. Carmen's response to “How did I end up with such a cool chick as you?” is-
G: “I have low standards.”
C: So true! [laughs] But like, do you think that that was supposed to be part of like, [laughing] “Oh, this world isn't right, because any woman would be really happy to have Dean in the real world.”
G: Noooo! Well, I hope not. But that's extremely funny.
C: God. But yeah, back to Samjess.
G: Sam and Jess say that, oh, they have something to announce, and the announcement is, [both] they're engaged! and the way Sam shows it is he raises her hand and just like, shows off her ring. And I thought that was really cute. I feel like I've seen that in every Samjess AMV ever made.
C: Yeah.
G: To be fair, there's like five scenes of them together, so like, I understand, I get it. And then everyone stands up, and everyone's congratulating Sam and Jess. Dean, like, goes up to congratulate Sam and Sam is like- I don't know what it sounds like, sounds a bit uncomfortable, right? And as Dean congratulates Sam, he sees a figure over at the side. It's the same girl from earlier, but now a little more distressed-looking? And he goes up to her, and…I don't know. I don’t fucking know. What does he do? Oh, the girl disappears, and he's like, “Okay, what the fuck was that?” And then we cut back to the house, and Sam is asking Dean like, “What's- what happened over there at the restaurant?” And Dean was like, “Don't even worry about it.” Mary says goodnight to them, and as she goes up, Sam and Jess are like, “Okay, we're going back to our room now,” or whatever. First of all-
C: They’re there to have engagement sex and Dean's like, “No, we need to- we need to hang out.” [laughs]
G: No, first of all, I find it extremely funny that, like, at this point Sam is what, twenty-three, twenty-four? Maybe twenty-four
C: Currently twenty-four? Since it’s the end of season two.
G: Do you think at twenty-four years old, you would be able to, like- imagine a situation where you're straight.
C: Uh-huh.
G: Do you think even with that, you would be able to introduce, like, a romantic partner to your parents at age twenty-four?
C: Honestly, like, yes, because they keep pushing me to find a rich man somewhere on my college campus. [both laughing]
G: Well, that's true. You should marry the redacted billionaire’s son, who is currently at your college campus.
C: God. But yeah, I mean, I feel like they would want me to date someone because I think- I think they think my friendship with my ex-fiancee is a little too intense [both laughing], and they're getting alarm bells going off in their head. But I don't think I'd feel comfortable introducing someone to them.
G: Yeah, also maybe this is just me speaking from like a quite conservative background, family-wise. But like, the concept that you can introduce your partner to your parents and your partner sleeps in the house-
C: Oh, yeah, in your room? No. No.
G: Sleeps in the same room as you? Noooo. No.
C: No.
G: You have to wait for marriage, baby.
-
C: Yeah, Dean's like, “Don't go to bed yet. No engagement sex. We need to hang out and celebrate. Let's-” He says, “Let's go have a drink or something,” which, you know, he should know in this universe-
G: Alarm bells, yeah.
C: That’s not gonna make Sam want to do, like, hanging out activities with him. And Sam goes like, “Mmm, maybe another time.” And Dean says [laughing], “Come on, man, look at us. We both have beautiful women on our arms.” I hope he dies. And he says this in front of Jess and Carmen, like, instant break-up material.
G: No wonder- no wonder Sam fucking hates him.
C: Yeah. No wonder Carmen has low standards. She really fucking does. Not for, like, the alcoholism or anything, just for this. [both laugh]
C: God, yeah, right. And it's really awkward, and I was like, “Is it awkward ‘cause Dean just said that?” But no, it's awkward ‘cause Sam and Dean don't have a good relationship. So he says, “Hey, can you go away? I need to talk to my brother alone,” and he, like, tells Dean to like, come here, and he leads him to the whole other side of the living room. Yeah, so he asked him, “Hey, what has gotten into you? What is this whole warm, fuzzy, ecstasy trip thing?” And Dean says, “I'm just happy for you, Sammy,” and Sam’s like, “Yeah, and also you don't call me Sammy, and we also don't talk outside of holidays,” and Dean goes like, “Well, we don't? Well, we should, you’re my brother,” and Sam’s like, “That's what you said when you stole my ATM card, bailed on my graduation, and also when you hooked up with Rachel Nave, my prom date.” And yeah, as you mentioned- okay, also, fun fact, Rachel Nave is a Supernatural writer. Who wrote “Bugs.”
G: Who wrote “Bugs.” [C laughs] And also, like, apparently they bring up this prom date thing again in the future? And it's like, Lucifer says that, like, that girl was like, possessed to watch over Sam or something.
C: Oh my god.
G: Which is terrifying! On so many levels.
C: Geez. So as he mentioned, he was like, “Yeah, that kind of sounds like me,” and he says, like, “I'm sorry about all that.” And Sam says like, “That's okay. I'm not asking you to change. I just don't want to continue having a brotherly relationship with- not really, he just says that we don't really have anything in common. And he just starts to walk away and Dean goes like, “Whoa, yeah we do. Yes, we do. We have hunting in common.”
G: Yeah.
C: Boo. And Sam goes, “I've never been hunting in my life,” and Dean goes, “Well. We should go sometimes, I think you'd be great at it.” And Sam goes away. Is hunting really the only thing they have in common? Like, they grew up together.
G: I mean, Supernatural seems to think it is.
C: Okay. Yeah, they seem to think this is true, but, like, even like, I don’t know, make an effort. If your friend has a new, like, hyperfixation, you go watch an episode of it so you can talk about it with them, you know?
G: Yeah, on an outtake of your podcast for another TV show that you watch together. We're gonna talk about Attorney Woo at some point, I feel. [laughs] So tune in for that in the outtakes.
C: Make an effort, I say, having no plan to play Ace Attorney.
G: Exactly. No, but this scene is yet another scene that made me emo. Because, like I said earlier, the concept of having a sibling and not getting along with them makes me so sad, it's just- it's devastating. So like, when Sam was like, “We just don't have anything in common,” I was like, “holy shit. What- what things in common do I have with my siblings?” And the answer is not much, but you still love them right? And it's just, it’d wild to me that they were like-
C: Also, I feel like a lot of conversations are just you saying something funny that recently happened to you. Like, you don't even have to have the same interests, if you care about each other, then you'll just care about each other's anecdotes, or whatever.
G: Yeah, like, and a lot of it is like, gossiping about your family [laughs]. You're like, “Yeah, our cousin is, in fact, going to a different school.” Like, you know, shit like that.
C: Yeah. Like, having a sibling is about like, going through the Instagrams of people you both know from school and making fun of how their partners look, like. [laughs]
G: For me, siblinghood is when they get blocked by someone from your family that they have beef with. You go to that person’s Facebook page [both laughing] and scroll through it with them to see what shit they've been saying. That's my experience of siblinghood, and I feel like everyone should be able to relate.
C: I agree. Though, honestly, I think the Sam and Dean thing does happen because, okay, one time my ex-fiancee was overhearing her roommate with her sister on the phone, and her roommate was trying to talk to her sister about TWICE, but, like, her sister clearly didn't really care about K-Pop and the roommate was like, “You're not really, like, talking to me. I feel like you're not engaging, and we don't really have anything in common, and I feel like we're drifting apart.” And the sister said, “Well, we have Jesus in common.” [both laughing]
G: Oh my god, that's so funny!
C: Sam and Dean literally have Jesus in common.
G: Literally, Dean would say, Dean would be the roommate, and Sam would be like, “We have Jesus in common.” Yeah.
C: Yeah.
G: But, it's just, I guess, like, distance really does do that, right? So, and like, I guess at this point, like five years or so, Sam has been away from home, so of course, things are gonna be different. It's so sad. It's so sad. And the fact that even in childhood it's implied that they didn't have a connection. Like what, did they just exist around each other?
C: I mean, I guess maybe part of it is just that they would have their own rooms in the house, so they could just choose not to like, look at each other or talk to each other. They weren't like, cooped up in the same motel room, having to watch the same TV all the time.
G: Supernatural is about family, and, like, I said this earlier, but like, it is about family, and at its core it's like, about Sam and Dean- like, [laughs] not to be a fucking-
C: Bronly?
G: Not to be a fucking Bronly, but Sam and Dean is like a pillar of this show. That is, you know, a foundation of it. And I like that they explore it like this in this episode, where it's like, no, yeah, seriously, what did they have in common? Seriously, what connects them? What binds them? And yeah, maybe it is the shared trauma, and it is the hunting and all that. I don't know, like at this point I can still safely say, like, at least they have that, I feel like later on in the show “that,” in quotes, actually is a detriment to their relationship and to their lives as individuals. But at this point in the show, at least they have that kind of connection with each other, like at least they have each other, even though later on in the show it's going to be toxic as all hell.
C: Yep.
-
G: So now we're at Dean's house, I think. Yeah. And Carmen and Dean are talking, and Dean’s saying, like- Carmen hands him a beer, and also like, just for, like, a little tip that later- the beer is called El Sol, and honestly I think it's a little bit of a reference to the fact that this episode is brighter, like, inside the universe, it’s brighter, right. So it's like, the sun, but also it's a reference to the fact that it's a beer brand. And Carmen is actually a beer model in real life, and that's how he knows her. She's a model for the El Sol beer, which we'll see later when he flips through a magazine. Which, do you want to talk about that, while we’re on Carmen, the fact that it's a beer ad that he sees her in?
C: Yeah, I mean, I don't really know what there is to say, like, Dean probably does have a drinking problem.
G: I mean, we kind of said it earlier. We kind of said it earlier in that, like, why is it not Cassie or Lisa, or anything? And it's like, I mean, my first- my kneejerk reaction was, he imagined this life just because he saw a beautiful woman. [C laughs] Like it- does Dean look at every woman and think, “Hmm, what if we get home and get married then you offered me blowjobs before sleep and also gave me beer,” you know? [C laughing] But also, like, I think it's a little bit sadder than that, like, it's like, I cannot really see myself having this kind of connection with anyone, quote, “real,” and like, you know, who's actually in my life, so I'm going to project these desires on someone that doesn't feel or even is a real person to me. So yeah, I don’t know.
C: What if Dean's wife in this- Dean's girlfriend in this episode was Asian. What would you do?
G: [laughs] I would- I think honestly, that would be like a “let's stop watching this show.” [both laughing]
C: Yeah, honestly, it’d be like, “Well, okay. It was nice knowing all of you. Bye.”
G: Yeah, I feel like that is a deal breaker at that point, especially after the Busty Asian Beauties reveal a couple of episodes back.
C: [laughs] God.
G: What a hilarious question! But as they sit and talk, Dean is like, “I can fix him” about Sam. And he’s like, “I've been given a second chance in life, and I don't want to mess it up.” And Carmen is just sitting there, like, affirming him and being like, “They don't know what they're missing,” etc etc. Anyway, she- they start kissing, and when they're about to lay down, she's like, “Don't bother me, I have a job to go to,” and-
C: Wait, wait, remember when Dean says, “I get it now, why you're the one.” Why- how does he get it? We don't know a single thing about this woman. All she's done is offer to fuck him and be like, affirming.
G: “You're the one because you told me my dick was ten inches long.” Go girl. [both laugh]
C: God.
G: But as they start making out and they're about to go down, she was like, “Oh, I have a job to go to,” and he was like, “Oh, what job?” and Crystal has told me that the joke in this scene is Dean thinks she's a stripper because she's working the night shift. But actually she's a nurse. And Dean is like, it's a respectable job, right?
C: Stripping is also a respectable job. But Supernatural hates women. So.
G: He's watching TV now, and he's flicking through and suddenly he sees a news coverage of this vigil held after the one-year anniversary of the flight that Dean stopped- that Sam and Dean stopped from crashing a year ago, the one from-
C: “Phantom Traveler.”
G: “Phantom Traveler.” Fascinating that it's only been a year from- since “Phantom Traveler.” They really sped through season two.
C: Also like, there's no vigil being held for like, the plane crash that happened the day before, with the door opening and stuff? [G laughs] You’d think it's more of like a two-day long sort of like, this was Plane Crash Weekend, like, memorializing Plane Crash Weekend.
G: But like, a hundred and eighty people died during that crash, and Dean is like, “Wait, no, I stopped that crash,” so he goes to his laptop and starts researching, and headlines, like, flash in- no, not flash, but like, fade in and out of the screen as we watch Dean's face react to all this, and it's like, “Nine Kids Comatose” from the one about- the fucking Macbeth episode. No it’s-
C: “Something Wicked.”
G: “Something Wicked.” Yeah. And then there's the, like, drowning, I think, from-
C: Yeah, from the hotel episode. “Playthings.”
G: Yeah, the girl who drowned in the pool.
C: They should have shown Cassie.
G: Yeah.
C: Like, I know, that would essentially be a fridging, but since it's a different universe, I think it's like, okay.
G: Maybe- maybe Cassie, not being shown is good because it's like, it's not an equal- you know, it's not an equal value. It's like, “I don't know these people, and yet I'm sacrificing my life for them.”
C: That’s true. Yeah. If you saw Cassie’s death and then went to John's grave, it’s like, “Why do I have to save people?” I’d be like, “Fuck off!” [both laughing]
G: No, exactly. Speaking of John and his grave. Take it away, Crystal.
C: Right. So we get to- well, okay, actually, before that for a second, Dean sees, like, [laughs] he opens his bedroom closet door and realizes that he is actually a serial killer in this universe. ‘Cause there are a bunch of corpses hanging from the ceiling, but then they flicker out. So yeah, something's up. So yeah, he's at John's grave now, and he gives this whole speech. Do I have to read all of it? I didn't even like it that much.
G: Just- just summarize it.
C: Okay, he's like, “Everyone that we saved is dead, and it's like my old life is coming after me, and it doesn't want me to be happy, and I know what you in the real universe, not this one would say, and it's that I should go hunt the djinn, and that your happiness doesn't matter next to all those people's lives. But why is it my job to save them? Why do I have to be some kind of hero?” And he like, he gets a Single Man Tear, and then a second Man Tear. And he says like, “And what, like, Mom's not supposed to live her life, and Sammy is not supposed to get married. Why do we have to sacrifice everything?” So yeah, that's the speech. So yeah, he's crying and stuff.
C: People care about this scene, and I mean, I guess it's like useful to understand Dean, but I don't- I didn't think- the acting in it wasn't good.
G: Well, I mean he does the two tears falling out of his eyes thing.
C: True, that's a lot for Jensen Ackles. Twice as many as usual.
G: Yeah, it should have been just a Single Man Tear. Yeah, should've just been a Single Man Tear. Also, yeah, the acting wasn't good. It didn't move me. I was like, fading in and out of focus.
C: I was like he's giving monologue during his audition for his school play. Like, that's the vibe.
G: Yeah, I mean for an episode that moved me quite a bit, this one didn't do anything for me.
C: Yeah, this scene just wasn't very good. The only thing that got me a little emo was me realizing that this was probably the first time that the Dean of this universe would have to look up where a grave is.
G: Aww.
C: Yeah. Aw.
-
G: Anyway-
C: We get the pilot parallels, visual parallels, hell yeah, hell yeah.
G: Yeah. So Sam is steeping, wakes up Jess is beside him. It's literally just the fucking pilot. But he goes down, and he's carrying a baseball bat, and this is Dean-
C: I love him. I'm in love with Sam. Go, baseball bat.
G: Oh, by the way, I forgot to mention. Sam in this episode is not dressed like Sam,
C: Right. He's dressed like a law student.
G: He's dressed like a law student from Stanford.
C: Yes.
G: Well, I mean, they're not dirt poor this universe.
C: That's true.
G: That's good.
C: Dean has a- is it an apartment or a house? Does he have an entire house?
G: It's a house.
C: He has an entire house. It's a nice-
G: And not only is it an entire house, it's a beautiful house. I mean, we've talked about real estate in Lawrence before-
C: That's true. In Lawrence, it's pretty cheap. So yeah, like, yeah, John was a mechanic- Oh my god, wait. John was a mechanic. Do you think he had like, a family business that Dean took over after he died or something?
G: Oh, fuck off. [both laugh]
C: Anyway, yeah, but John could pay for a whole house on a mechanic's salary. That woman in "Home" could pay for a house despite being unemployed and recently divorced. So yeah, I guess it makes sense. Again, this was before the housing crash.
G: I was surprised by the size of Dean's home. Like, he has a walk-in closet. And I know that that walk-in closets are a little bit more common in other places, I guess, but I was like, "Wow! He's really living the life." [laughs]
C: [laughs] Yeah, he probably has a washing machine, too. [G laughs]
G: [laughing] To be clear, I have a washing machine-!
C: Okay, it was the dryer that you didn't have for a while.
G: Yeah, we don't have a dryer, yeah. They probably- Dean in this universe-
C: - which is common in a lot of Asian countries because, like, hang-drying is so common.
G: Yeah, I don't have a dryer. Yeah. It's miserable because it's been stormy recently.
C: Oh no!
G: One time, I washed my clothes and I hanged them up, and then it rained-
C: No!
G: And I was like, "Fuck it, we ball," [C laughs] and then let them dry still. [laughing] I didn't rewash them. [both laughing] So yeah.
C: Yeah. So true.
G: Anyway, Dean attacks Sam and gets him down after just one like, push or something. And he's like, "Wow-"
C: Yeah, and it's the exact same like, shot and angle and attack as in the pilot. Did you think at first that Dean was like, "Sam and I aren't talking. [laughing] I'm going to rekindle our friendship by recreating the pilot"? [G laughs]
G: No. You know what, because I know what Dean says about the pilot in the finale, that actually makes me so sad. Because apparently, he stood-
C: Oh, he stood outside for hours not knowing whether or not he would be welcome or whether or not he could come in, and he was so scared. [pained sound]
G: Literally, Dean, your plan is to fucking attack this guy while like in the middle of the fucking night, like, of course you won't be welcome. But I digress
But Sam- Dean is like, "Wow! That was so easy. I'm actually quite embarrassed for you." [laughs] And then they get up-
C: It's because Sam only has strong calves because he got to play soccer when he wanted to when he was little. His arm strength is nothing. [G laughs]
G: Yeah. He gets Sam up, and it's the same silhouette shot from the pilot yet again, and then Sam opens the light, and he notices that Dean is actually stealing from their mom's silver utensil collection. Which is like bad luck. And then Sam asks like, "What's the deal with you? Why are you doing this? Steal Mom's silver?" And Dean is like, "Well, I had no choice." Sam pushes, and you think Dean is gonna confess, but he just says, like, "I owe someone some money."
C: Mm.
G: But then he starts talking, and like, if you put yourself in the situation of someone who doesn't know what's going on, he's talking like he's about to commit suicide.
C: Yeah
G: So Sam is alarmed. He's saying like, "I'm sorry that we don't get along, and I wish that I could stay and fix it. Tell Mom I love her." You know, stuff like that. And then he walks out, and he hops into his car. But just before he leaves, Sam steps into the car!
C: Whoo! Yeah, I like the scene where Sam comes into the car. Right, like Dean tells him to get out, and Sam says, like, "I'm going with you!" And, you know, Dean's being like, "You're going to slow me down. You're going to get hurt." And Sam says, like, "Look, whatever stupid thing you're about to do, you're not doing it alone, and that's that." And Dean's like, "Why- I don't get it. Why are you being nice to me?" And Sam says, "Because you're still my brother." And- I don't know. It's sweet.
G: And I know that this scene- Yeah, it is sweet. I know that this scene is just the djinn trying to stop Dean, but it's still sweet, and I'm still like, "Aw."
C: Yeah. And I feel like if this universe was real, like, this is realistic for the Sam there. Like, he might have a lot of issues with Dean, but he doesn't want him to fucking die. Yeah.
And then [laughs] Dean says, "Bitch," and Sam says, "What are you calling me a bitch for?" [both laughing] Which made me scream. Feminist women love Sam Winchester. [G laughs]
G: Exactly.
C: Yeah. And Dean's like, "You're supposed to say jerk." And Sam's like, "What?" And Dean's like, "Nevermind." And they drive off.
-
G: Yeah. At some point. Sam's like, "Oh, what's in the bag?" Kind of like, playfully. And Dean is like, "Well, nothing." And Sam's like "Nothing? Okay." And then he takes like a bag from between him and Dean, and he [laughing] takes out the container. It's full of fucking blood. [C laughs] And he's like, "Uh, Dean, what is this?"
C: And Dean doesn't clarify that It's not human blood for the longest time.
G: Yeah. He's like, "It's blood." [C laughs] And then, Sam is like, "Yeah, I can see that it's blood." Dean is like, "Well, I needed lamb's blood because I needed a silver knife dipped in lamb's blood." And Sam's like, "Okay, maybe we can stop the car." [both laugh] And Dean is like, "No, no, no, it's fine." And Sam is like, "No, yeah, I know it's fine, but you know, just stop the car." But Dean explains that, you know, there's a creature, a djinn, and that he needs to hunt it, and that, you know, there's creepy crawlies in the night, etc etc. But Sam insists that like, "I just want to help. You're having some kind of breakdown."
C: Okay, also, Dean says, "People have to be saved, and if we don't save them, then nobody will." And also we learn during the grave scene that every single case that he or Sam or John ever worked went unsolved. And that's just not realistic. That's some individualistic, like, American bullshit.
G: Yeah.
C: Like, there are other hunters. Like, Bobby exists. Like I don't think it's true that every single case that they saw they were the only ones who could have fixed the situation, and the only ones who would have noticed. Like, that's dumb. That's what I think.
G: Yeah. At some point. Sam tries to call someone on his phone. [laughs] Dean opens a window and tosses the phone out, and Sam says, "What the hell does that mean? That was my phone."
C: Yeah, "How am I gonna email more people and say 'darn'?"
G: Christopher- Christian Cooper or whatever his name was?
C: [laughs] Yeah.
G: And Dean says, like, "I'm not going in the rubber room. We got work to do," [C laughs] And Sam-
C: Falls asleep.
G: Is like, "I'm just trying to help you out, Dean. I don't want you to get hurt." And this is the part where it's like the djinn is really trying to get Dean to stop. And then they end up in front of this old factory in Illinois.
C: Sam fell asleep despite Dean blasting "Mr. Saturday Night" the whole time.
G: Not only is he blasting "Mr. Saturday Night," Sam also is in the mindset that his brother is having some kind of really probably very dangerous breakdown.
C: Yeah.
G: [laughs] And he still fell asleep.
C: What a king. [both laugh]
G: Yeah,
C: It's because he didn't have his phone. He could have played Candy Crush to stay awake if he was getting really sleepy, but Dean threw it out the window.
G: Exactly.
-
C: Yeah, so Dean wakes up, and yeah, they're in an old factory in Illinois, and Sam's following Dean around, and he keeps trying to tell Dean to turn back, that there's nothing here. And then they start hearing sounds, and they go into a room, and it's those bodies that Dean saw in his closet hanging from the ceiling, and they're all like, hooked up to like a blood bag. Right, and the girl that Dean saw earlier is there, too, but she is alive.
So the djinn comes out, and they hide. The girl keeps crying and asking where her dad is. It's a pretty difficult scene to watch. But he puts her back to sleep, and then he takes out the blood that he's drained from her, and, like- he like, takes the tube, and he just sort of squirts the blood in his mouth. [laughs]
G: I respect that.
C: Yeah. It's a little- it's a little juice bag. He's got his Caprisun. And oh, yeah, I mean, obviously, in djinn lore, they don't feed on blood like this. [both laugh] Yeah, in case you were like, "This is in the Quran!" [G laughs]
So Sam makes a little "eugh" sound. But they are able to move before the djinn finds their hiding place. And Sam's like, "Oh my god! Like, this is real, and you're not crazy?" And Dean's like, she thought she was with her dad at the time. She didn't know where she was, so this isn't like, a wish being fulfilled. It's just like a vision that you're having while you're tied up.
G: Yeah.
C: And he looks up at his light bulb, at this light bulb, and in it, he sees flashes of himself hanging by his wrists and being fed on. And Sam keeps being like, "Dean, Stop having a revelation! Dean, shut up!" But Dean's like, "Oh, god, iIm tied up somewhere, and this is all in my head." Dun-dun-dun!
G: They do some exposition in how the djinn does it. Like, he feeds me poison, and then I go to sleep, blah blah blah. And Sam keeps on saying like, "It doesn't make any sense. We need to get out of here! Like, you're right, we need to get out of here." And this keeps on going and going and going, until Sam just- [C screams] until Mary shows up. [laughs]
C: Right, because Dean holds up- takes out his knife first, and he says, like, "If you almost die in a dream, you'll wake up, so I'm just gonna stab myself."
G: Yeah, and Sam is like, "You're gonna die. And Dean is like, "I'm gonna die, or I'm gonna wake up. One or the other. So I'll just stab myself." And then, Sam, keeps on touching him and being like, "I'm real. I'm real. This is not some acid trip. I'm real." As he's about to thrust in the knife, Mary shows up. [C laughs] And the way she shows up is she's in a fucking [both] nightgown again.
C: God. Killing and death.
G: I'm surprised they even put her in any other piece of clothing, honestly. [C laughs]
C: She should've shown up in her black dress with her hair up, out to the club in this abandoned factory.
G: Yeah, exactly. Sam changes like, his demeanor, and he's suddenly standing up straight and talking very not Sam-like. And he's like, "You should have stopped digging."
C: [laughing] Also, Carmen and Jess appear at this point.
G: Oh my god, yeah.
C: Which is why I was like, "Dean's about to kill himself and Sam summons a girlband to stop him." It's just a very striking moment when you're like, "Oh, in this episode, none of the women are real people, and none of them have personalities, and they're just here to give Dean motivations while the Sam, even the fake Sam, like, has a personality and a life and like a storyline."
G: Yeah. And then Mary comes in, holds Dean's face, and Dean like leans into the touch yet again. And she's like, "Put the knife down." And [laughs] they start this thing where they tag team [C laughing], and, Mary's like, "Dean, you shan't kill yourself." And then she lets go, and then Carmen comes in and kisses him, and it's like, "Don't kill yourself, Dean." [C laughing] And then like, Jess doesn't come in, she just stands in the distance, and she's like, "Sam is gonna be happy." And it's so funny to me that the one thing Jess says about another person. Like, she has no personality!
C: Like, it's not like, "I'm cool, and we can hang out." [laughs] It's like-
G: Yeah, it's not like "I get to live again."
C: Right!
G: "Me and Sam-" she doesn't even say "me and Sam will get to have a life." Like, she just says, "Sam gets to have a life."
C: Yeah.
G: And it's like, my god, girl, where are you in this equation? [C laughs]
C: Right. Though I think the thing she says where she says, "You don't have to worry about Sam anymore" is, I think, the only moment in this episode they maybe nod towards the finale, because, you know, like a world where Mary doesn't die is a world where Sam doesn't have demon blood.
G: Then, finally, Sam walks up and says, "Why do you have to save everyone? Why is it your job? Haven't we done enough?" And this is basically what Dean said earlier. And then he says, like, "Give me the knife." Dean tearfully looks at everyone-
C: [laughing] Well, he doesn't look at Jess. [G laughs] The camera pans from Carmen to Sam to Mary, but Jess has been standing behind him-
G: [laughing] Is that for real?
C: And I was like, "Wouldn't it be hilarious if right after that, the camera swivels around to show Jess and she just gives a little wave?"
G: Exactly. But- Is he crying at this point?
C: Yeah, I think so.
G: He's looking teary-eyed, but he trusts the knife into his belly.
C: Goodbye.
G: And yeah.
C: And we see- yeah.
G: Sam starts screaming like, "Dean! Dean! Dean" but it transitions to Sam-
C: Real Sam!
G: - in real life. Real Sam, who's now waking Dean u from sleep.
C: Yep. So he shakes him awake, and Dean makes like, a Wizard of Oz reference. He says, "Ah, Auntie Em. There's no place like home." He's a friend of Dorothy for real
G: There's a part where Sam removes a needle from Dean's neck that made me flinch.
C: Uh-huh.
G: Like, it looked so real. And I was like, "Holy shit, man!"
C: But you know what's worse is when they rescue that girl, and Sam uses his knife to remove the needle from her neck. Like-
G: What??
C: He takes a little blade and he does a thing. [both] Girl.
Misogyny.
G: Girl. [both laughing]
C: Should we give Dean like a point for this episode just because this is his imagination and everything that happened there was like [G laughs], interesting.
G: Well, I mean, we are not the thought police. [C laughs] I feel like we should punish people for their actions, and not their thoughts.
C: Okay, that's true.
G: And this is just a thought for Dean.
C: I guess? But I don't- if Dean was like [laughing], "I hate gay people" like, in the dream [G laughs], we'd give him a homophobia point because it'd still be him like, expressing his opinions out loud.
G: [laughing] Noo. Hot take of the day, you should be allowed to hate gay people inside your head. [both laughing]
C: Ugh, okay, no point for Dean.
So, right, so Sam cuts through like, half the ropes, but then the djinn appears, and Sam and the djinn brawl for a bit, and, right, and the djinn's about to try to put him to sleep, but then Dean escapes his ropes, and he thrusts his knife into the djinn, and it dies. So this is where we get to I think, our last fact from the about djinns. And it's that basically, the only ways you can protect yourself from a djinn is through reciting verses of the Quran, and you have to be like, an actual Muslim for that to work, you can't just say it. And also, the only way to defeat a djinn, you can't actually kill them. You have to-
G: -exorcise-
C: - Yeah, you have to exorcise them. And it has to be someone with a lot of Islamic knowledge, like an imam. And, you know, because they could like, time travel and alter reality and all of that, it doesn't make sense that they'd be able to defeat this creature, anyway, because, like, he could just be like, "You have a knife? No, you don't." [laughs]
G: Yeah. And like-
C: This is a thing where, first of all, like, they didn't need to make the creature a djinn. Like, they could have just made up a new thing, because all they really needed was this dream sequence. And if they actually really wanted to do a djinn episode, I don't see why, like one of the people they consult could be like an actual imam, and like, they could bring this person along on the hunt.
G: Yeah.
C: I feel like a lot of the religious, or like, folklore creatures that they defeat- there's no reason why they can't like team up with people with that cultural knowledge and background. Like, it doesn't have to be Sam and Dean killing the thing every time. Like maybe sometimes, they just do the research.
G: Yeah, like we've said multiple times, but like, bring people along! Like-
C: No, if we don't save them, no one will! [laughs] Jesus.
G: Yeah. And like, for example, like, I mean, they don't even have to convince like- the lore inside Supernatural is already that a lot of Muslim people believe in djinns, anyway.
C: Yeah.
G: So they don't have to be convinced. You don't have to beg a person to be like- "Can you help us defeat the djinn?"
C: Right, like, I feel like they could contact and a mosque, and they could be like, "There's something here that we think is a djinn. Could you help us exorcise it?" And they'd probably be like, "Yes, 'cause that's a bad thing, and [both] I know how to defeat it."
G: Yeah. Yeah.
Also, like, part of our notes is that djinns specifically, are not exactly like just bad creatures-
C: That's true, yeah.
G: - like, in all of lore. They're not necessarily monsters. They're more like humans with superpowers. And also, like, some of them, are actually like religious, as in like, positively. And then the negative- like negative- what's the term. Like, the bad ones are like, usually like, supplementing dark wizards and stuff. So like, I don't know. Maybe we could have had a djinn vs djinn battle. [laughs]
C: Yeah!
G: Something Wanni said that I was like, "Oh, that's interesting" is that like they said, like we said earlier, like, it's such a missed potential because the lore is really very deep. Like, there is a lot to djinns. So it is- it is- the shtriga, for example, they had like a bit of lore for that, right? Like, with the shtriga episode, it was like, there was lore, and also there was emotional Sam and Dean stuff happening in the episode. So like, they could have done it here, too, that they could have had like a Sam and Dean episode, and they could have had the lore to come along with it. Or, if they just wanted to do the dream sequence so bad, just stick to that, you know?
C: Yeah, you can just make up another creature. I'm sure there are other creatures that put you in a dream state.
G: Yeah.
C: But, ah well.
G: Here we are.
C: He's dead from a knife. K. [G laughs]
Right, and they rescue the girl with Sam using a fucking blade to get the IV out. And yeah. So we cut to a motel room, and Dean's flipping through a magazine, and this is where he sees the beer ad with Carmen in it. And the ad says like, "go someplace better" or something. So yeah. And Sam, who's wearing his iconic white shirt with the floral-ish light pattern on it- you know the shirt.
G: Mm-hm. Yeah. The one that he broke his arm in.
C: Yeah, it also is the shirt that he wears when Dean confronts him about drinking demon blood in season 4.
G: Yeah! This scene looks exactly like that scene. Like, the color scheme of the room is the same. So I was like, "Why is this familiar? Why is this familiar to me?" And I was like, "Oh, it's because this one looks like the scene where he beats Dean up."
C: Yeah. Go, girl.
So, yeah, the girl was in the hospital, she's gonna be okay. Dean's okay, and he's like, "I'm alright. You should have seen it, Sam. Our lives. You were such a wussy." [laughs]
G: "You were such a wussy." [both laugh] Iconic.
C: "I called you bitch, and you said, 'Why did you call me a bitch?'" So yeah, Sam's like, "Oh, so we didn't get along? I thought it was supposed to be this perfect fantasy." And Dean was like, "No, it just granted the one wish for Mom to live." Which means that women are just like this [laughs]. Like, just normally.
G: [laughs] Yeah.
C: "So we never went hunting, so you and me just never like, connected." And [laughing] Sam says, "Yeah, well I'm glad we do." [laughs]
G: Wild.
C: I'm glad we hunt, Dean. "And I'm glad you dug yourself out. Most people wouldn't have the strength." And Dean's like, "Yeah, but like you, you had Jess, and Mom was gonna have grandkids-" Really, like, Dean was like, "You and Jess want kids. You will impregnate her. I have decided this." [both laugh]
G: Ugh. Ugh.
C: Yeah, but he's like, "But Dean. it wasn't real." And Dean says like, "Yeah, I know. But I wanted to stay. I wanted to stay so bad. Because ever since Dad died, all I can think about is how much this job has cost us. We've lost so much and sacrificed so much." And Sam's like, [annoying voice] "Well, but people are alive because of you. It's worth it!" [both laugh] He didn't say it like that, but that is how I view the lines. [annoying voice] "It's not fair, and it hurts like hell, but it's worth it!" And Dean looks sad, and that's the end of the episode.
What is this ending?
G: What- is this- Is there an episode a little bit back that like, ends kind of like this?
C: Yes, "Hunted," which is written by Raelle Tucker, which is the pretty much the exact same thing.
G: How does that one end? Wait, what's "Hunted"? What episode is that?
C: It's the one where they call the cops on Gordon, right?
G: Oh, god, okay. Completely forgotten about it.
C: Yeah, let me make sure it's actually "Hunted."
G: Oh! I know what I'm thinking of.
C: Is it even "Hunted." Like okay, because the transcript said that the flashback at the beginning was from "Hunted," but is it?
G: No. The episode I'm thinking of first is the one with- the one with the fucking- "Houses of the Holy."
C: What happens in that one? It ends with a motel talk too.
C: Well, okay, so you said it was shot like "Houses of the Holy," this scene? Because at the end of "Hunted," Dean is the one who goes like, "Screw the job, I'm sick of the job, all we get is bad luck." And that's the one where Sam's like, "But come on, dude. You're a hunter. It's what you were meant to do!" [laughs] That feels a lot like this scene.
G: Ugh. Yeah. Oh, the one where Dean is like- okay, okay, I got it, I got it. The one that ends with like, the Dean beauty shot?
C: Is that at the end of "Hunted"? I thought that was at the end of "Bloodlust"?
G: Yeah, they zoom in on Dean's face- Oh. What episode is fucking "Hunted," then?
C: It's the one with Ava, and Gordon's like, shooting at Sam, and also, this is where they find out that-
G: Oh! This is the episode where I was drunk! [both laughing]
C: Yeah! There we go. Right. It's where we find out that John told Dean to kill Sam. Yeah, that one.
G: Oh god.
C: And the one where you were drunk and Crystal had half an hour's sleep.
G: That's why I don't remember it. That's why I don't remember it.
C: There we go.
G: There we go.
-
G: Okay, I mean, we've discussed what we think about this episode, but has it changed in the span of the last two hours that we've been talking? Jesus Christ.
C: I think because we've made more jokes about it, [laughing] I like it even less than I did before, because the, like, emotional parts are like, "Well, I said them in a silly voice, so were they even that emotional?" [both laughing]
G: I mean, I still- everything I said earlier in the episode, I still hold, so whatever.
C: Yeah. Yeah. [G laughs] Whatever.
G: How about Best Line/Worst Line? I did not pay attention to any lines in this episode. [laughs]
C: I wrote down beforehand what my best line was, and [laughing] it was, "What are you calling me a bitch for?"
G: I think my best line is- I'll recite the whole thing yet again. But [laughs] my best line is, "Hey, dude [both laughing, C screaming], how are you doing? How are you doing, man? I'm doing pretty darn good. I've been meaning to sit down and write you, but I've been so darn busy! I've been meaning to call, too. But, hey. [both] What's a fella to do?" I love that he puts the hey in there. Like, he's like, "Hey. Hey. Hey, hey! What's a fella to do?"
C: "What's a fella to do?" [both laugh]
G: My worst line is, "I know why you're the one." [C retches] Or whatever. I don't even know the wording of that part. But like, when Dean tells Carmen "This is why you're the one."
C: For what?
G: And it's like, she has not shown an ounce of personality this entire episode.
C: Yeah. Death. Death and killing
My favorite- sorry, my least favorite is when Sam says, "Well, I'm glad we do" about hunting. [laughs]
G: No, I think that's- actually, now that I think about it, I think that's a response to Dean being like, "We don't connect."
C: But it's "You and me just never-" Maybe. Okay, fine. Fine, yeah, maybe, you're right. In that case, do I have to find a new-
G: [laughs] No, it's fine. Leave it be. This recording has gone on for so long.
Okay, IMDB rating.
C: It's a highly-rated episode. I know this.
G: Is it? I hate it.
C: I'm going to go with a 9.
G: I'll go with an 8.7. I think that's high enough.
C: Okay,
G: Holy shit, man.
C: What?
G: 9.3.
C: Fucking what? Is that the highest we've seen?
G: No, I think we had a- oh, yeah it is.
C: We've only had a 9.2.
G: 9.2 was season finale or something.
C: Jesus Christ. Seriously? No one likes Sam. No one cares about Sam.
G: "Brilliant and wonderfully heart-wrenching! Must see!" "Outstanding. Splendidly done. Absolute handsome brilliance."
C: [laughs] "Absolute handsome brilliance"?
G: "That was just a dream." I hate this episode. I don't even want to read any of the reviews.
C: I'm skimming them. I'm not seeing anything. This one says it's a great insight into the character development of the two main protagonists. Are you sure? Both of them? You're saying it developed both of them?
G: Nobody? I hate Supernatural so much it's unreal.
C: Aw, this one says, "Like 'Faith' in season 1, this is Supernatural at its best." [both laugh]
G: And we know how we feel about "Faith!"
C: Yeah. Well.
G: Okay, that's it for this episode of Busty Asian Beauties. Next week, we will be discussing Season 2, Episode 21: "All Hell Breaks Loose: Part One." Also, we would like to thank Wanni angelhannah-
C: Yes.
G: - for their input into like, djinn lore and stuff. I love that we just say the word lore now for everything, even for real life stuff [laughs]. Like, it is lore. Thank you, Sam Winchester. But thank you, Wanni! Thank you so much! And you guys should check out their art. It's so good.
C: It's so good. Like, I commissioned them last week for- well, I guess it'll be several weeks now, but it's like a drawing of Cas and Eileen drinking milkshakes, and it's very, very cute.
Follow us on social media! We are on Twitter at twitter.com/BeautiesPodcast, and on Tumblr at bustyasianbeautiespod.tumblr.com. Our official tag is #BABPod, B-A-B-POD, and thanks to everyone who's donated to our Ko-Fi at ko-fi.com/bustyasianbeautiespod.
G: You can email us any feedback, comments, or inquiries at [email protected]. See you guys next time. [both] Bye!
[guitar music]
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Delicious Monsters chapters 31 & 32
Today's review might be difficult for some; reader discretion is advised
Click to see the rest of the snark & image descriptions
Click here for the rest of the series!
Chapter 31
Until it ended. Abruptly. Everything. No one calling my name. No maggots. No screaming. Silence.
Chapter 31 summary: Daisy finds herself alone in a locked room with Ivy. No mention on how they got in there, but whatever.
Anyway, Ivy says all of this stuff about how Daisy’s life is so devoid of literally anything, to the point where she didn’t even notice how much time she kept losing. She also says that she killed the goat, simply so that Grace couldn’t get to it first. But that doesn’t seem to have mattered, I don’t think. Daisy knows that the anxiety she feels as she gets further from the house is because Ivy is tethered to it, and probably can’t go too far. She wonders if she were to leave the area, would Ivy be able to follow.
Daisy then finds a maggot on her head. One in her mouth. She vomits, but among the bile are more maggots. Then Grace is there, pinning her down. She plucks a maggot out and stuffs it back inside of Daisy’s ear.
That stops all of the noise.
Chapter 32
“I had one rule. One rule! To protect you. Everything I do is to protect you.”
“How was I supposed to help without coming inside?” I cried.
“You weren’t! You were never the solution. You were the insurance!”
“You don’t under—”
“Yes, I do,” she snapped. “You can see fucking ghosts! Does that make your ears not work? Your brain not work? Why can’t you follow simple instructions?”
Horace the dead horse here to tell you that simply saying “Stay out of the house!” without giving any actual explanation is inherently meaningless! Getting angry at people for disobeying when you can’t be bothered to explain things is the stupidest thing imaginable!
“Why don’t you ever listen to me? Haven’t I done enough to show you that I know what I’m talking about? Have I ever steered you wrong?”
We’re literally in chapter 32 and I have yet to see Grace doing… well. Literally a single goddamned thing.
Most of the time, Grace has been moping around, and then getting angry at Daisy for doing the same thing.
“It’s killing them now! You knew something was wrong with it! You say I never listen to you? You never listen to me!”
Mom stared me down. “I don’t listen to you because you can’t keep a handle on yourself. You panic and freak out, just like you did with that girl at school. And then I have to come save you, again.”
If there’s ever a time to be freaking out, it’s upon finding out that your mother knew this entire time that you were being possessed by a vengeful ghost and did fucking NOTHING to try and help you. It’s when you find out that she’s been lying to you FOR MONTHS AND KEPT LYING AND GASLIGHTING YOU INTO BELIEVING THAT EVERYTHING WAS PERFECTLY FINE. While doing nothing to actually help.
“This is all wrong. This was supposed to be easy. Years of work, years!” She covered her face with her hands and shouted, “Fuck!” into her fingers. It echoed off the high ceilings.
You 100% deserve all of this, and so much more. You got pregnant with the intention of giving the house a “dessert” (the book’s word), groomed your child to do this singular job… BUT NOT ONCE IN SEVENTEEN GODDAMNED YEARS HAVE YOU EVER BOTHERED TO TELL DAISY LITERALLY ANY OF THIS.
I hope that Grace dies a slow and painful death.
“And yes, your ability was insurance. Like I said. As necessary, only. In case we have a problem, which I can see now that we do.”
Horace the dead horse here to remind Grace that the only reason why the problem has snowballed is because you refused to explain literally a single goddamned thing to YOUR DAUGHTER.
That’s right. Daisy isn’t some “bargaining chip” against the murder house. Daisy is a GODDAMNED CHILD.
But for once, Mom said the truth. “The house told me.”
Chapter 32 summary: In case you couldn’t tell by my commentary, the entire chapter was nothing but a hot mess of Grace continuing to lie and gaslight Daisy, even after the truth of her deception came out. Little by little, the truth finally starts to come out.
There was an incident with the dead in a public park when Daisy was 7. After that, Grace started to put maggots into her ears. That literally the only reason why Daisy was even conceived was to deal with this.
Despite what Ivy told Daisy, the house isn’t some unholy monster. It eats whatever you feed it. And they have to get rid of Ivy so that the house can go back to eating the dead like it’s supposed to. That Peter lived in the house for a long time without the house ever murdering somebody. (Except for him, I guess? This is never addressed.)
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A Rambling Retrospective of Phase Four
I always find it funny that cats keep attacking the MCU because Phase Four was the worst one, but people forget that the entire Marvel franchise is for f*cking kids. Now, I'll be the first to say a kids flick doesn't need to be brain-dead on arrival but, with the exception of Thor 2, none of the MCU films actually are. For the most part, they are solid flicks with decent messaging and great characters. In terms of Phase Four, the writing has slipped, for sure, so a ton of sh*t is getting shoehorned into shows that should have been films and films that should have been shows. And that’s the problem with Phase Four: Execution. WandaVision should have been a movie. Shorten up that run time, focus the budget a bit, and that sh*t could have been wonderful. The last two episodes of that show were trash. They ran out of money. With a cinematic run time of two and a half hours, you are forced to trim that fat. Same thing with Ms. Marvel. Make it a Special, like Werewolf by Night and carry on. Eternals should have been, for sure, a limited series. Focus on the principal characters as we follow them over the years after their break up, subtly weaving the danger of the those Deviants throughout the narrative, and end with that revelation about the Celestials which could potentially lead into a film. Build a little mini-Eternals universe within the MCU because that’s basically what they are. Execution.
Honestly, while Phase Four has been disappointing, it’s not all terrible. There are some very strong entries in this, more or less, experimental Phase. Obviously No Way Home is peak Spider-fair, i really dig Moon Knight (a fourth watch is actually what spurred this essay), and i actually really liked both Loki and Ms. Marvel. I though Falcon and Bucky was a very strong entry which was as important a story to tell as Black Panther and, for all of my previous criticisms, i genuinely enjoy, like, eighty percent of WandaVision. Speaking of, MoM was amazing because of Wanda and Shang-Chi worked in a way i did not expect. There is much more good in Phase Four than bad. Let’s be honest, even at it’s worst (She-Hulk), Phase Four has nothing as sh*t as say, Transformers 2. Not even Dark World is THAT dog sh*t. Phase Four is, undeniably, the worst the MCU has ever been but its not because of wokeness or lack of passion. People are blinded by all of the “social messaging” and “identity politics”, which is f*cking stupid because, upon a revisit to the majority of these entries, these films don’t say sh*t. There is no messaging. Outside of making people of color the leads of these new entries, or gender-swapping a few B-list villains, there is nothing so overly egregious about Phase Four to make it that controversial. I you have beef with Phase Four, make sure it’s on the merit of the shows, themselves, and not because of the diversity put on display.
Falcon and Bucky has an undercurrent of race relations throughout it’s run, which makes sense, because the lead character is a black man. More than that, i hearkens back to the incredibly f*cked up history the US has with black bodies, personified with the character Isaiah Bradley. That type of sh*t happened to us all the time. It still is happening to this day. The fact that there is a capeflick story about, doesn’t take away from the fact that Falcon and Bucky is arguably the strongest entry in Phase Four. It’s also the only show with a message. Well, i take that back. She-Hulk kind of does, too. Now, i liked She-Hulk. I th0ught it was a cute little side-story which rang true to the character i know from the comics but all of the neckbeards and chauvinists were ringing their bigot bells because the dared to make light of their sexist squeals. That entire show is meta commentary about the reaction said show was going to get in the blogshpere. It’s f*cking wild because, even the few who picked up on the fact that the entire goddamn show was dunking on them, still went on their rants about how the “M-She-U” was ruining everything. Outside of these two entries, there is absolutely no messaging in anything the MCU has ever made. Even in Phase Four, those two shows are the only inherently messaged pieces of media but, apparently, the entire Phase is terrible because of politics? Really? Y’all are throwing the baby out with the bigoted bathwater.
Phase Four sucks because the writing has dulled considerably and the executives started taking the audience for granted. hey stopped trying and got comfortable with their formula. The worst hing about the MCU is they blew their load with the first three Phases. They used up all of the recognizable heroes early on, which is funny because, when the MCU started, those cats were B-list. Plus That’s why Marvel even had the rights to Iron Man in the first place; No other studio wanted to buy them. He wasn’t known as a top seller. That movie MADE the MCU, which made every other character introduced along the way. But that’s over now. Just like in comics, it’s time to change the guard. Phase Four was always going to be a difficult situation. It was always going to awkward. We are saying goodbye to characters we’ve known and loved for a decade, while introducing characters no one knows a f*cking thing about. Shang-Chi? Really? Kamala Khan? Riri Williams? Who the f*ck are these character and why should we care? That’s literally the same thing everyone said when Iron Man dropped in 08. Look how far we've come. And we got this far on the back of solid writing, dope execution, and great f*cking performances. Phase Four has two out of three, which kind of lines up with Phase One when you think about it.
More to the point, how do you come back after Endgame? DO you have any idea how difficult a challenge trying to continue any semblance of narrative after the f*cking Infinity Saga? Of course the first Phase after such an endearing narrative was going to be all over the place. What threat is as potent as Thanos? What villain is a is imposing? How do you tell a better story after half the goddamn universe was snapped out of existence? That, in of itself, should give a bit of leeway in where we are to go next but nope! “Fans” are taking to the internet in an effort to spew their vitriol and hate, not because the shows; themselves, are bad, but because they are too “woke.” Woke being code for ethnic, of course. I’ll be the first to say some of that is a little heavy-handed but even with the current management botching fundamental aspects of cinema, these films are still popcorn blockbusters that have a ton of heart. If I'm a twelve year old getting into comics for the first time, the MCU is a perfect adaption of that experience. They are fun, lighthearted, character-driven adventures which don't go too heavy on the messaging and isn't some grimdark, edgelord, misery festival like Snyder's DCEU. There's a reason Aquaman, the most MCU of that lot, made a billion goddamn dollars. Capefilms can be highbrow fair if they want to be. Road to Perdition and V for Vendetta exist. They can be elevated to Oscar caliber cinema. Joker and The Dark Knight claim that crown. But let's not forget that, first and foremost, these are movies about cats who where their underwear on the outside and cut this genre a bit of slack. Cut the MCU a bit of slack. They’re starting over after giving you a decade’s worth of the best entertainment possible, even though they’re just supposed to be kids movies.
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15 questions for 15 mutuals ? but im just answering the questions
_____
1. are you named after anyone? no
2. when was the last time you cried? last thursday when i got into a rly bad fight with my mom.
3. do you have kids? no im in high school 💀
4. do you use sarcasm a lot? like inherently no, but around one of my best friends a lot bcuz she is very sarcastic in a silly goofy way. she is very silly.
5. what sports do you play/have you played? ive swam, played tennis, ice skating and basketball (tho i was so shit at it i don’t even count it). i also did dancing. now i just run but that’s a personal thing but for sport. i played a lot of tennis though, that’s been my main sport for most of my life
6. what's the first thing you notice about other people? their hair
7. eye colour? dark brown. i’d say black but i know that’s technically not a thing
8. scary movies or happy endings? goddamn i hate happy endings. ambigious endings are the best. but also like horror movies? that’s so boring, it’s just kind of cheap and shit.
9. any special talents? i have a rly good memory and im rly good at adapting to situations and problem solving.
10. where were you born? us. lol
11. what are your hobbies? running, watching films/tv, watching super long commentary videos on yt, playing stardew valley, and cooking/baking.
12. do you have any pets? yes a dog and she’s the love of my life
13. how tall are you? 5’2
14. fave subject in school? chemistry this yr but that’s just bcuz of my teacher+class. ugh when i think abt it i guess that it’s science. i know i hate english and french forever but tbh, i’ve also always liked history. maybe history i think
15. dream job? to work at a bakery and/or be a chef. or a mixologist like bartending but for some reason i get paid a lot.
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