#but for fucks sake he has a goddamned Harem
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incel
/ˈinˌsel/
noun
a member of an online community of young men who consider themselves unable to attract women sexually, typically associated with views that are hostile toward women and men who are sexually active.
"self-identified incels have used the internet to find anonymous support"
#CoS#Strahd#Curse of Strahd#seriously don’t mean to come off as gatekeeping#but like find a better word#because he isn’t#he is a fucking asshole#but for fucks sake he has a goddamned Harem#did he get denied yes yes he did and good for her he deserves that fucking slap on the wrist#and worse#but for fucks sake getting denied by one woman doesn’t make one an incel#just tired of the term getting over/misused#he is the chad of which incel’s speak in full length about#seriously all the worst traits of a Chad combined into one character
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Season 4 of windbreaker low key starting to suck. The latest 2 chapters are so...meant for the male gaze??? I don't even know how to put it into words but oh my god it's like the author is trying to form this shit love triangle between shelly/jay/noah even though noah said that she likes owen (maybe twice or smth I don't remember) it's like he wants to form this harem for jay and it's not entertaining at all.
But yall the latest chapter is so weird and so fucking frustrating. Like the sexualization of noah is just too much LIKE I DON'T WANT TO SEE HER ASS EVERY SINGLE GODDAMN CHAPTER FOR GOD'S SAKE😭🙏🏽 And this ain't me saying that I'm fine with male characters being naked but can't stand it with female characters.
But the whole thing with noah is just so weird, every single chapter she's in the most weird position while riding the bike and ppl overlook it like omg.
ever since ss 4 started the author has been pushing noah to be one of those girls who have a crush on jay which is fine but it's getting too much now. And he's been creating his rift between jay/shelly shippers vs jay/noah shippers which is so unnecessary like hello this is a sport manhwa we don't anymore love triangles + it would be weird if all that development that jay and shelly had would be thrown under the bus just for creating a stupid love triangle.
AND THE LATEST CHAPTER? too much fan service like i promise wtv happened in the latest chapter won't serve the plot of the story and would just create problems with jay & shelly + within the fandom.
#windbreaker#jay jo#shelly scott#vinny hong#windbreaker manhwa#manhwa#manga#manhua#jay x shelly#owen knight#noah windbreaker#seriously though
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writing prompt: the political climate of [your choice of historical period] expressed in the form of office drama
[Interior - an anachronistic office building, equal parts The Name of The Rose and Parks and Rec. Holy Roman Emperor MAXIMILIAN I is in the background, listening to a PETITIONER. Court musicians nearby are playing something soothing as MAXIMILIAN I visibly tries not to lose his shit.
In the foreground, several people are seated around a table. The table is piled high with semi-organized stacks of papers, labeled “Habsburgs,” “Denmark,” and “???” There is a tired-looking COURT LAWYER who is skimming through a document, seated across from a Fancy-Lad DUCAL ENVOY and an old, gray-bearded, Prussian-looking MARGRAVE, who is half-asleep. The COURT LAWYER skims over a few pages in tense, frustrated silence before finally speaking.]
COURT LAWYER: So King Christian I is his own vassal?
[Cut to the COURT LAWYER doing that talking-to-the-camera-like-The-Office thing, because I have never written a TV script before and am fuzzy on the terminology.]
COURT LAWYER: The Holstien case… is hell. The cadet branches just pop up like… like pimples! One minute it’s Schleswig-Holstein-Sonderburg-Beck, then it’s Schleswig-Holstein-Sonderburg-Glücksburg, then—
[Snap cut back to the table, making it clear the COURT LAWYER could have gone on for hours. The DUCAL ENVOY gestures to a document and starts to explain.]
DUCAL ENVOY: That, ah, that’s from a different case. You see, our illustrious house was rewarded for our service against the Ottomans during the Siege of Thessalonica.
[The MARGRAVE snaps awake.]
MARGRAVE: The Ottomans? Where? Drive back the Turk! Get me the garrison commander! Murm, and a stuffed pastry or two…
[Everyone ignores the MARGRAVE, who falls back asleep after a few more rambles.]
COURT LAWYER: Wasn’t the Siege of Thessalonica a total failure and humiliating defeat on our end?
[The DUCAL ENVOY makes a “yeah, but I’m gonna get mine” gesture. The camera tilts to zoom in on MAXIMILIAN I, who pauses to give a you-are-the-first-to-die-in-my-fantasies glare at the DUCAL ENVOY, then puts his normal expression back on and resumes listening to the PETITIONER.]
[The COURT LAWYER sets the document aside and picks up another one, then winces.]
COURT LAWYER: For god’s sake, Schleswig-Holstein-Liga?
DUCAL ENVOY: I think that one’s just a soccer league, actually.
[The PETITIONER leaves. MAXIMILIAN I signals to the court musicians to stop playing. Suddenly, there is a sense silence. MAXIMILIAN I stands up, takes a deep breath, and screams.]
MAXIMILAN I: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
[He pauses to breathe in again, then starts to storm offscreen, shouting.]
MAXIMILIAN I: *offscreen* If you rat bastards are going to wave forged documents in my face, at least have the goddamn decency to put in a little effort! The Habsburgs wrote the book on forgeries! Don’t TREAT ME LIKE A CHUMP!
RANDOM RETAINER: The, uh, the emperor will not be seeing any more petitioners today.
[The DUCAL ENVOY stands up and, taking his cue to leave, scoots away, opposite the direction the emperor left.]
[Cut to MAXIMILIAN I doing the talking-to-camera thing. Time has clearly passed, and servants are busy cleaning up rage-smashed furniture.]
MAXIMILIAN I: How come everyone who’s on my side sucks? The dukes, the electors, the rich territories, they’re always busy scheming and trying to fuck me over. But an abbey full of old nuns? Oh, we’re on your side, emperor! Anything you want, emperor! Here, here’s a pair of old sandles, that’ll keep the French from conquering Naples!
MAXIMILIAN I: *heavy, wistful sigh* I bet the Sultan doesn’t have to deal with shit like this. I wish I could be like that… with a harem of women, and not having to take any sass from anyone… this is getting edited out, right?
[Snap cut to interior – Topkapi Palace. Ottoman Sultan BAYEZID II is trying not to look guilty as his mother, GÜLBAHAR HATUN, lectures him.]
GÜLBAHAR HATUN: It’s been months, sweetie. Months!
BAYEZID II: *trying not to get snippy* I know, mother, but things have been crazy at work lately, and—
GÜLBAHAR HATUN: That’s what you say every time! I know you’re the head of the House of Osman, but you’re still my little boy too.
BAYEZID II: I’m sorry, it’s just, I’ve been on campaign, mom. I can’t just drop everything and come visit whenever I want. If we don’t control the Peloponnese, how are we going to have enough naval power to compete with the Venetians?
GÜLBAHAR HATUN: *crossing her arms* You care more about those Venetians than your own mother! The woman who gave birth to you!
[In the background, a HAREM LADY scoots by, trying not to be noticed, dressed in expensive but modest clothing. Cut to her doing the talking-to-camera thing.]
HAREM LADY: Look, I don’t know what those horny Austrians told you I did, but I just copy poetry, alright?
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Postscripts:
This was delayed because it started with me going “Schleswig-Holstein? That is a funny name, I’m going to use that for this ask, because it is funny” only to find out that it has been involved in insanely complicated legal disputes for basically eight hundred years. I decided to get around the issue by not dealing with it.
Wiki-ing told me that Gülbar Hatun did, in fact, send letters to Bayezid II complaining that he was always too busy emperor-ing to visit her.
I spent too much time and attention at first trying to get the date-overlap right with things but stopped caring after a bit because it was against the spirit of prompts
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Treasure (Indruck)
Prompt for the 9th was: Knight Terrors
Knights are generally well-prepared, the way those in charge of the kingdom's wellbeing ought to be. Prepared for monsters bursting from the woods or dropping from the sky, prepared to protect citizens from harm, prepared to guide royalty through all manner of perils.
What Duck Newton, knight of the realm of Kepler, was not prepared for was being carried off by a fucking dragon.
He didn’t even know there were dragons in this part of the world.
Worse the dragon doesn’t seem to know his haul contained an unwilling extra item, and so he’s dumped Duck into some sort of sorting room, rather than a central horde or other spot where he might be able to see the cave entrance and get out.
Beacon is somewhere in this mess, but he’s coiled and so can't talk. It figures, the one time that obnoxious sword’s even more obnoxious voice would be helpful is the time Duck remembered to silence him.
He’s never been do freaked out in his life. Fuck, he can’t even tell where the door is.
That problem is resolved and immediately replaced with a much worse one when a stone panel swings open and a large, black-scaled dragon appears.
“Huh. I was half convinced there was something wrong with my foresight, But no, there is indeed a human in my storage room. How on earth did you even get here?” He takes in Ducks clothes, the insignia on his chest, his armor. Red eyes narrow, “did you follow me, oh brave knight, hoping to slay me in my sleep?”
“No, I was in the goddamn carriage when you just lifted the whole fuckin thing up and flew off.”
“And what were you doing in a carriage meant for treasure alone?” The dragon cocks his head.
“Guardin’ it.”
“And what, exactly, were you to do to an attacker?” The dragon drops to all fours, thoroughly blocking the exit.
“Uhhhhhhh, um, to, uh, to not, fuck, to do not slayin? Fuck. Look,their directions weren’t real clear. They just told me I was headed for a royal guest.”
The glowing red eyes widen with understanding Duck does not share. “So that’s what they told you? A pity” The dragon steps closer, and Duck refuses to flinch when hot breath ruffles his hair, “I was hoping they had been truthful with mine.”
“With your what?” Duck looks down just as a black clawed hand is held out to him.
“I will explain in a moment. This is one of the colder parts of my lair, and I would rather have this discussion somewhere warm. Come.” He flattens his palm and Duck, energized by the thought of being somewhere with more escape routes or weapons, sits down in it. The dragon carries him out; it’s smaller than he assumed, maybe twenty feet at most from his head to the tip of his tail. But it’s terrifically strong, given that it picked up the carriage he was in as if it weighed no more than a sugar cube.
“What is your name?” One eye regards him with a glint of...something. It looks pleased whenever it scans over his body.
“Sir Duck Newton. It’s a nickname.”
“It is nice to meet you, Duck Newton. I am Indrid Cold.” His voice is remarkably lilting, not at all the deep rumble Duck expected.
“This is the parlor.” The dragon sets him down near an immense fireplace, embers glowing warmly nd reclines against a large pile of furs and pillows, “my room and horde is just through there. You may see it later, if you like, I am rather proud of it.
“Uh, no thanks, I’ll need to be headin back to take my licks for losin the thing I was guardin.” His hope is that if he acts as if the dragon has no reason to keep him around, it will just let him go.
“Ah yes, about that.” He taps a claw on the stone floor, “you see, this is terribly awkward. That carriage was meant for me. As were you. I knew you would be arriving soon, but not when, and I was preoccupied using my visions to watch for danger, and thus did not realize you were in it until after we returned.”
“Why do you keep sayin that I’m yours, what do you need a human for? Oh fuck, am I fuckin dinner or something?”
“Nono, nothing of the kind. In many ways you are the opposite. You see, it has long been a tradition for kingdoms along the Draco Mountain Range to send a knight to act as an assistant to each dragon. When there were more dragonborns and fewer standard dragons, there was another, ah component as well.”
“But you ain’t a dragonborn, so we don’t gotta worry about that second part?” He crosses his fingers in hope.
A sigh, “Technically I am dragonborn; long story painfully short, I was blamed for something I did not do and was cursed to remain like this for eternity. But no one outside of a few trusted friends knows that. So your kingdom assumed I could still take my more human form. Which means they chose you for the, ah, the second purpose as well as the first. You are meant to be my consort.”
It takes a moment for the words to sink in, and then Duck is standing, looking for something to put between himself and the dragon, “nope, nope, no fuckin way, this ain’t happen, this can’t be happenin.”
“Oh dear, you are frightened.” The dragon furrows his brow
“I’m fucking terrified! Who wouldn’t be?!”
Indrid starts to move towards him and then thinks better of it, “I promise, you have nothing to fear. Is it not clear that the arrangement means I will not eat or otherwise harm you?” Indrid blinks at him, seeming perplexed.
“And the part where I’m supposed to be the start of some fuckin dragon harem or some shit is supposed to calm me down?” Duck’s voice echoes off the walls.
“You did not let me finish my explanation. While that is the misconception your kingdom is under, I will under no circumstances expect you to fulfill it. Your duties here will be as if I was born this way, so you will primarily do small household tasks, assist with security, and aid me in things where having small hands is helpful.” Indrid is frustratingly calm, as if Duck is the one being ridiculous for being afraid of this whole situation and the implications of his initial explanation.
“Great, just fuckin great, so I’m your servant now.” Duck rubs his forehead, as if that might make this all stop.
“Nothing of the sort. You may do tasks, but I must do the same. We are sharing this home, so we must each participate in its maintenance. So no, you are not my servant. Although you are part of my horde.”
“I’m not a fuckin necklace or somethin you dipshit!”
“You are not an object, if that is what you fear, and I do not see you as one. I, ah, my horde is made up of that which I value or find pleasing. You can be both those things as a human. You are a treasure and I will treat you as one. I will bring you the finest silks, jewels, works of art, whatever your heart desires, for everything that is mine is now yours. Indeed, you may be that which I treasure most; just looking at you makes me happy, and I dearly wish to curl around you and keep you safe.”
Chills run along Duck’s skin, and he notices the embers have gone out, meaning the only light is the red glow of Indrid’s eyes, pinning Duck in place. Vibrations move cross the stone.
“Hold the fuck on, are you, uh, purrin from thinkin about takin care of me?”
Indrid blinks several times, shakes his head, “Yes, it seems I was. I, ah, I apologize for all I just said it, it sort of came up unbidden. I wonder if that is why they chose you, if someone knew that you would be the most appealing human I ever laid eyes on.”
Duck tries not to be flattered, tries to focus on figuring out what the fuck he’s supposed to do now, but it’s hard with the way Indrid is looking at him with affectionate curiosity.
“Look, Indrid, I don’t mean no offense, but this is all super fuckin weird and I just...I don’t fuckin understand why they sent me and not, I dunno, a princess? Ain’t that traditional?”
Indrid cocks his head, “Why would they send princesses? Most of them are trained to run the kingdom, and thus are rather important. Knights as far more expendable.”
“Gee, thanks.”
“You asked me for their reasoning. I did not say that I agree. Did no one ever suggest you might be trained for a specific role?”
He freezes, thinking back on ll the times he was encouraged to pursue knighthood for the sake of a supposed destiny. Then so much anger hits him at once he has to sit down on the cold floor, even as the dragon nudges a human sized chair his way.
“That’s why they were so fuckin determined to get me to accept my destiny. Fuck, they made it seem like I was trainin’ to do somethin great, to protect people, and all the while they knew they were just gonna ship me off without warnin! ‘Oh, sorry Duck, you don’t get to have a life of your own, we gotta train you up so you can go be a fuckin dragon toy!”
“That was rather uncalled for.”
“Well what the fuck else am I gonna call it? You talk about dressin me up, sleepin with me, you seem to think I ain’t no more than something you get to look at it.”
“I think no such thing” the narrow tip of his tail thrashes, “I am trying to be hospitable. I have not had a human visit me for more than a few hours before, forgive me for a few missteps. And I am not the one who misled you about your destiny, so kindly direct that anger elsewhere.” The last few words come out in a growl.
Duck’s so pissed he growls right back
“Fine. I’m gonna walk my ass back to Kepler and give ‘em all a piece of my mind.” He spins on his heel, only for Indrid to zip in front of him.
“No, do not do that. It is considered a literal declaration of war.”
“......are you fuckin kiddin me?”
“No. Now please move away from the door.” Indrid tries to scoot him backwards with his tail. Duck slaps the scales, causing Indrid to yelp.
“You only did that in one future.”
“I can move my own damn self. And I plan on movin it somewhere I can get some privacy.”
Indrid points down the center most tunnel, “The third door on the right is yours.”
“That feels like a trap.”
“It is a study. Equipped for humans, including a bedroom and washroom”
Well, that’s better than sleeping on top of a dragon.
He turns without another word, and as the room disappears from view he hears the slow slide of scales on stone, heading the other direction.
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Indrid reaches his bedroom and proceeds to clonk his head into the door.
There was no way around that confrontation. The moment Duck Newton asked for an explanation, there was no future where he was not upset by what Indrid told him. Indrid does not blame him at all, and he’s quite angry with whoever in Kepler misled him for so long.
None of that changes how excited he was when he was informed he’d soon be getting a human companion. He has visitors and friends of all kinds, but he’s lived alone ever since the disaster that led to his transformation. He was so looking forward to having someone to talk with, to get to know, to be gentle and kind to, something a dragon his size is not given many chances to do.
There’s a much smaller horde in the corner, full of items he thought a human might enjoy. Dragonborns still hold the custom of giving those they wish to charm (in platonic or romantic ways) finery as a show of goodwill. His eyes keep drifting back to the red cloak woven with gold and the green shirt made to accentuate muscles. Duck would no doubt look remarkable in them.
But the human wants to be alone, wants nothing to do with Indrid. If Indrid is to make him feel at home here, he must abide by that desire. He sighs, curling around his horde. The way forward may become clear after some rest.
Later that night, he sets several items of clothing,the finest he can find that are still simple, as Duck seems to prefer that style, next to a plate of fish from the nearby stream. He charred them on the hearth so they’d be warm, though this resulted in one being burnt to a crisp.
He ate that one as penance for frightening the human.
The next morning the plate is clean but the clothes are there. Indrid leaves them be until mid-morning and then replaces the plate with a bowl of blackberries and more fish. Since there are books in the study, he leaves the human tools for embroidery, in case that is a hobby he prefers.
This process repeats for the next three days, with Duck never taking anything besides the food.
On the fourth morning, Indrid leaves one of his favorite items he collected for the human; a kit with seedlings and a stone that mimics the sun, allowing one to grow the plants even in the dark of the cave.
When he comes back that afternoon, the space in front of Duck’s door is empty. This both pleases him and gives him an idea. He knocks on the door, then steps back, opting after a moment to go on all fours so as not to tower too much over the human.
“Yeah?” The drawl sounds tired more than hostile.
“I was wondering if you would like to see the gardens. You, ah, that is, I can lead you to them and then leave you be, you do not need to be around me if you do not wish to.”
The door creaks open, and Duck peers out.
“How can you garden in a cave?”
“Let me show you?”
The walk is silent and awkward, but when they arrive Duck’s entire face lights up. Indrid preens a bit, answers the question he sees coming.
“I believe when the mountains formed, something caused this area to not come together. Hence the lack of a cave roof.”
“Are all these yours?” Duck kneels down, radiant in the sunlight, examining a pumpkin plant.
“Indeed. I grow some for medicine and spell purposes, and some for food. Larger plants tend to work best for food, in that I can harvest them more easily. which is why there are many squash and melons. But, you will notice there are many unplanted patches. If you wish to garden, I can procure whatever you need.”
Duck grins, “Hell yeah. Wonder if I could get a tree or two to take. I’ll have to study the soil and the sun a bit before I know what I need.”
“Take as long as you desire. You can find your way back?”
The human turns fully to him, glances down at the dirt, “You can, uh, stay if you want. Wouldn't mind the company.”
Indrid dips his head, and settles into his favorite sunny spot, body curving around the bushes.
“Y’know, you’re a real different shape from what I expected.”
“My friend Barclay once said I looked as if I was a noodle that sprouted legs and wings.”
Duck giggles, “Yeah, that’s about right.”
Indrid flicks his wings, “I will have you know I am a very dignified noodle.”
Duck laughs harder at his prim tone, then his face turns serious, “Indrid I, uh, I wanna apologize for how I acted. I know you don’t mean no harm. It was just a lot to take in, and then realizin everyone had been lyin to me, rather than lettin me make a real choice about my destiny.”
“I understand, and I do not hold it against you. I want this to be a welcoming home for you, Duck. I have no intention of keeping you from other things you love or have trained for. And I foresee us being rather good friends and, hmm, I suppose collaborators is the right word. If you need more space, I will give it, but I would also like the chance for us to get better acquainted.”
Duck picks up a handful of earth, rubbing it between his fingers, and when he smiles this time it’s meant for Indrid, “Think I’d like that too.”
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“Damn, this is real soft.” Duck rubs the sleeve of the deep blue bathrobe.
“Oh good, it is yours.”
“You sure, it was in your pile-”
“-as I have said, my horde is yours to use.” The dragon smiles, goes back to sorting paintings. A summer storm has ruined their plans to sit by the river, Indrid fishing or sunning himself while Duck swam or went for a walk. So they’ve opted to pare down Indrid’s horde, finding things Duck wants or can use as well as things the dragon no longer likes or needs, Duck using his knowledge of Kepler to figure out where in town could benefit from a sudden influx of precious metal.
“How about this? Wait, damn, though it was suspenders.” Duck grapples with the leather and silver straps. Indrid trills a laugh, only for his cheeks to turn golden.
“That is meant to be worn over a bare torso.”
“Oh, uh, did you used to wear it?”
“Oh no, I do not like the texture, but I know some humans who wore it beneath their clothes. Orcs also wear them in the summertime. My second cousin married into an orc family.” He adds when Duck raises an eyebrow.
“While I must admit the idea of you in it as intended is...intriguing” Indrid holds out a claw, at the end of which dangles a pair of suspenders.
“Thanks, ‘Drid.” It’s a double thanks. The suspenders are nice, but Duck appreciates the dragon trying to reign in his enthusiasm for Duck’s looks. It’s not that he doesn’t like feeling attractive, but the idea of a royal dragonborn stuck in his dragon form feeling that way about his squishy, farm-born body is too much. Just...too much. But Indrid has, on Duck’s request, scaled back the comments about his attractiveness and him being Indrid’s treasure. The more he's done so, the easier it’s been for Duck to accept his attempts to fuss over him.
The dragon is true to his offer to give Duck whatever he desires; the finest oils for his baths, soft linens on the bed, any food he wants (that first week, he walked into the kitchen to find the dragon trying valiantly to make a human sized french onion soup). While he cannot breathe fire, he does all manner of spells to make Duck’s life easier, and last week he even took Duck on a low flight over the forest.
What Duck is enjoying even more are the evenings stargazing with his back against Indrid’s side, the way they trade information about their respective corners of the natural world. He enjoys not eating his meals alone.
(He’s been dressing nicer for dinner lately, wasn’t even aware he was doing it two nights ago, when Indrid arrived with jeweled dust on his wings and Duck spent several minutes trying to work out why the dragon felt he had to dress up).
There’s a wistful sigh, and he turns to find Indrid perched on a cushion (in truth, the dragon's nest is far more pillows, fabric, and cushions than it is gold or gems), holding a framed drawing in his hands.
“I do so miss drawing. To do it in this form is such a rigmarole, I have not done more than rudimentary sketch in a long time.”
“There ain’t a spell for it?” Duck climbs to where sitting puts him eye to eye with Indrid.
“None that can replicate the feeling of being so consumed by creativity, the tactile sensations and the working and reworking until you have something you are proud of.” He looks at Duck, eyes, and voice far away, “so many things I would do, were my hands not immense and clawed.”
“Bet you’re real clever with ‘em.”
The double meaning only registers when the gold blush once again blooms on Indrid’s cheeks.
“I, uh, I’m gonna run that one sack of stuff over to Aubrey and Dani. You want to wait on dinner until I get back?”
Indrid smiles, “Yes, I can wait.”
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Fall comes early this high in the mountains, and with it comes the chill. Duck wakes up shivering, and none of the blankets are enough to chase the cold from his bones. Maybe Indrid has something he can use.
He only means to be in the room an instant, but as soon as he enters warmth floods him. Indrid explained he ran warm, as all dragons do, but got cold easily. In the summer, the heat radiating from him disappeared beneath the warmth in the air. Now it’s noticeable in the cold cave. Noticeable and tempting.
He offered once to curl around Duck as he slept, which--to his goosebumped skin--sounds like a good plan.
No, he’ll just find more blankets somewhere else.
His heel knocks over something that clanks, and Indrid opens an eye.
“Duck? Is everything alright?”
“Uh, yeah, just got colder than I thought. I was, uh, was wonderin…”
Even in the near-darkness, Indird’s scales glint, and his eyes glow gently as he waits for Duck to finish.
“...I was wondering if I could, uh, take you up on that offer to sleep next to you. I’m thinkin on top might be safest. I mean, uh, if that's still alright?”
Indrid holds out his hand, helping Duck onto his back and handing him a pillow and three blankets.
“Are you comfortable?” The dragon nestles back down into his bed.
“Yeah, this is real nice. Thanks, Drid.”
“You are welcome, Duck.”
Duck has kissed before, has fucked plenty, has lain in bed next to someone. Yet the rise and fall of Indrid beneath him, the steady sound of his heart when Duck lays his head down, the soft purr that leaves him when Duck rubs his cheek on his scales, are unfamiliar in their intimacy and thus twice as captivating.
Which is why, when he awakens, their absence is instantly obvious. As is their replacement with a much smaller chest beneath his head.
“Well, I must say this is a surprise”
It’s Indrid’s voice, and when Duck sits up, startled, it’s somehow unmistakably Indrid’s face staring up at him. The ruby eyes are the same, as is the smile and the color of his horns and the scales peeking out in patches on his skin.
“My mother was only half dragonborn.” He says to the question Duck almost asks.
“Fuckin stunnin.” Duck breathes out.
Indrid reaches up, cupping Duck’s cheek with a slender, slightly scaled but very human hand.
“I fear it will not last. My foresight tells me I will revert to my dragon form in a few moments. But this is a singularly interesting development.”
“No kiddin. Guess we know there is way to get you back.”
“Agreed. Ah, before I revert, will you permit to do something?”
“Anythin.”
Indrid sits up, and places a gentle, cool kiss on Duck’s cheek.
“Oh yes” He sighs, resting their foreheads together as his body begins shimmering “just as lovely as I thought.”
And then Duck is once again atop a large dragon.
“Whelp, no we really gotta break the curse.”
“Oh?”
“Because I wanna kiss you back, properly. And soon.”
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Thotty Thursday: Part 2
The second installment of Thotty Thursday is upon us. Rejoice, heathens!
Now, let me just say that I’m picking dudes at random while trying to keep things balanced between old shows and new ones but ... y’all really bout to notice some patterns the more we do this so I’m just gonna wait for someone to call me out tbh. 😰
FYI, I like to think of myself as an equal opportunist thirster and if a dude is hot then he’s hot. I’m not one to question this shit. But when you get right down to it I have like four types: high IQ smarty pants, dummy thicc, dad and bad boy bastard. Our next snack belongs in the last category, without question.
He’s honestly prettier than me and that is not an exaggeration but don’t let his good looks fool you
This Arabian Nights styled dime piece has a mean streak a mile wide. Because of Reasons, ofc, but that don’t change the facts
Not only did he once punch a child in the face for no other reason than to assert his dominance (fact) he also pretended to cry in front of the person he hates most just to laugh about how they fell for his (flawlessly executed) act
He honestly may or may not have a few screws loose but that’s part of the appeal, you see. It adds a dash of spice to the meal
And you know what they say about crazy bitches in bed 😏
Full disclosure, I started reading Magi: Labyrinth of Magic before the anime aired and his name was originally translated as Judal so that’s what he’s always going to be in my mind. The official translation is Judar, and I respect that, but at the end of the day I do not know her
Judar who?
Can I also just take a moment to point out that gloriously long, thick braid he’s sporting tho
This man has hair for days and there’s just something I find incredibly attractive about that
I want to take it all down and carefully comb through it, play with it and style it again
Really show him the attention he deserves
If he decided to suffocate me with it, well, I guess I wouldn’t complain about that either
Now, the setting alone had my interest PIQUED right out the gate because I love Middle Eastern inspired aesthetics and I truly don’t think it’s utilized as a setting half as much as it deserves to be. It’s very beautiful imo and the anime team did a pretty good job of capturing that vibe but if I’m being honest I think the manga was better (up to a point)
However there ain’t nothing quite like seeing your man move on screen or hearing his voice with your own two ears and when I say Judal put on a show each time he showed up ... 🥵
I think I can safely say my pussy clenched whenever I got so much as a whiff of him possibly making an appearance, PHEW
He’s just so pretty and mean
My favorite combo tbh
“But why do you like mean boys so much 🤔?” You ponder aloud and my answer to that is “I don’t know. I just do.”
Judal gets my kitty purring for a variety of reasons but the biggest is probably that I can’t look at him without imagining myself as his feisty little slave girl, wearing nothing but sheer silk and delicate gold chains, completely at his mercy ...
Oops, did I say that out loud? 😳
I mean, can you really blame me when he’s running around in those baggy harem pants though?? Can you really???
So the first thing you probably thought was: damn. This guy kinda dressed like a thot 👀
And you’re not wrong
Does he HAVE to dress like that? Strictly speaking, no. But I am definitely not complaining about his fashion choices
His titties are so close to popping out of that tiny little shirt that we’d be getting nip slips left, right and center if he had any more meat on his bones than that and trust me when I say he did that shit on purpose
This boy is SUCH a fucking tease and he loves the attention it gets him - first and foremost because he’s used to being the CENTER of attention but we’ll get more into that a little bit later
Hes just a tad 👌 narcissistic, loves to show off, definitely bipolar and is in a constant state of feeling himself so he’s hitting all his marks as far as I’m concerned
In short, he’s perpetually oozing big dick fuck boy energy and I live for it
That’s why he’s always showing up with that stank ass attitude, he knows damn well he can pull the baddest bitch around AND her man too
He’d fuck you and your boyfriend at the same time just to prove a point, that’s actually how petty he is
Honestly though I’d like to see ANYbody maintain their resolve when he’s laying on the charm and Judal’s just cruel enough to do it for shits and giggles
Probably wakes up in the middle of his sprawling imperial bed at two in the afternoon and says something like “damn, I need a little pick me up today” and then proceeds to manipulate and harass his lucky unfortunate victim of choice
He’s relentless too and will stop at absolutely nothing to get what he wants, even if that means breaking you in the process
Again, I like the challenge he represents
But also I just like a man who can make me cry 🤷♀️
And I don’t doubt he absolutely would. Tears probably turn him on tbh and I’m positive he’s got a bit of a yandere streak too
Are y’all seeing those patterns yet??
So did you guys notice that wand he keeps twirling around like a goddamn baton?
He’s a magic user, or in this case a magi which means he’s literally at the top of the food chain in this universe
He’s special special
Every ounce of confidence he has is rightfully deserved and even tho he’s not the strongest per say, he IS extremely powerful and his destiny as a magi is to influence the world
THE WHOLE ASS WORLD YA’LL
That’s why he’s got such a big fucking ego
I promise these aren’t major spoilers, so you don’t have to worry about that
When he was still a (too precious for words) child, he was abducted by an evil cult so that they could manipulate him and use his powers to influence shit in a bad way. The exact details of what they did to him are hazy, but based on the snippets we did get it seems like they basically put Judal on a pedestal and raised him as if he were some kind of god or a king
I’m talking waiting on him hand and foot, giving him whatever he wanted, essentially worshiping him and using persuasive mind control magic to convince him that he’s the best thing to happen since sliced bread
And it worked
Can you tell exactly how fucked up this kid is right now
Keep in mind here that I’m not saying his screwed up personality isn’t the result of some seriously bad mojo
Magi are supposed to be what tips the scales of fate in this setting which, generally, means for the betterment of the world and this whack ass cult pointedly steered him down a path he otherwise would not have gone
But it’s this tragic past of his that really brings the whole package together
He could be a mean pretty boy for no other reason than because he wants to and I’d still drop into a split on his cock
I like mean for the sake of mean too
It’s just that knowing what made him the way he is gives us the perfect amount of insight to truly feel sympathetic despite all the bad shit he has done and will continue to do
Personally, it makes me want to be the one to show him genuine, tender affection no matter how much he’s initially appalled by the mere suggestion so in a lot of ways it’s similar to how I feel towards Hiei
But that doesn’t mean I want him to change and start being n - 🤢 start being nice - 🤮
He’s perfect just the way he is and there’s just something about big, confident egos that gets me going like little else
And Judal seems to truly believe he’s the greatest gift the world has ever received and he’s not wrong about that imo so yeah he definitely has an attitude problem
But that also means he’s a spoiled brat tho and he’s definitely one of those dudes who needs to be dommed on occasion to really get the full experience 👀
I am not too shy to pin him down and milk his cock for all it’s worth, that is all I’m saying fam
And can I just point out how breathtakingly gorgeous he’d look all flushed and sweaty, whimpering like a needy little bitch in heat while having his prostate relentlessly teased for hours on end?
Goodness, it suddenly got HOT in here, is that just me??? 💦
Ofc the only way that’s gonna happen is if he allows it - which I don’t see being a common occurrence - but that’s why you gotta take advantage of that shit when it does 👀
On the topic of Judal being spoiled, I want to mention that there are actually TWO very different backdrops that I can thot around with him in, and I like that
There’s the fantasy Middle East setting ofc which I personally can’t get enough of
I’m wearing the slave girl Leiah outfit in my mind right now btw
But he also spends a lot of time in this worlds version of ancient China complete with all the dramatic robes and elegant architecture to really set the mood
He has an entire imperial palace on lock and if that doesn’t get you even a little bit horny then idk what to tell you
The royal family for the most part treats him like one of their own despite not being related in any way, if that tells you exactly how much clout he pulls in this setting, and even tho they’re essentially using him for their own gain Judal doesn’t seem to mind it one bit
He likes being at the top and having the freedom to do whatever he wants so if that means doing a little dirty work for the Kou Empire then so be it
And I’d be lying if I said I wouldn’t be a ride or die on these little errands
Like, just imagine this pretty boy pulling up to you on his flying carpet (that’s not a joke or something I just pulled out of my ass btw) and asking if you want to come back to his crib for some fun
You say yes, because you might be a thirsty slut but you’re certainly not STUPID
And he straight up takes you to a fucking palace
Be honest with me guys, how fast do the panties come off tho?
Be real with me here
This is actually just the plot of Aladdin but with the gender roles reversed 🤣
Fr fr though, A Whole New World plays softly in the back of my mind every time I think about this dude, except it’s much darker and ... explicit 😏
But my point here is that Judal’s got basically everything he could ever possibly want so he really just needs a pretty little concubine at his side to complete the picture
And I dead ass feel like it should be ME
When I say this man could get it ....
OOF
He is TROUBLE in its purest form and I regret nothing about my choice in fictional men
Absolutely nothing
He could honestly fuck me up seven ways to Sunday and I’d thank him for the honor
Spit on me, king. Please. I don’t need nothing else to sustain me
Unless you want to throw some of that choice dick in for free? 👀
Lord have MERCY
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The Deal Chapter 33
I managed to regain my composure, eventually. Negan had watched me, the entire time, just watching as though I were some type of entertainment for him. Seems an odd way to kill time when he had his harem on standby, but who am I to judge? Once I was back under control, at least more manageable control, I leaned back in my chair worn out. Fuck emotions.
“Feel better, Jessi?” He asked, and I could feel the smugness rolling off of him.
The urge to tell him to go fuck himself was overwhelming. Instead, I turned my face to the wall and thought about how to retort. “Why are you here?” If he could ask questions, why couldn’t I?
He snorted. “I run the damn place, princess.” I turned back to face him, seeing the fucking glee on his face.
“No,” I said, shaking my head and glancing between the two of us. “Why are you HERE?”
He squinted, confusion replacing his pleasure of his own power. “Here? In my fucking bedroom?”
I bit my lip, enjoying the turning of the tables. “Yes, here, in YOUR bedroom, with ME. Why are you HERE with me when you have-” I shot a thumb toward where I was sure his harem was waiting with bated breath, ready and far more willing to enjoy his company than me. Because I wanted a fucking break. I wanted to have a breather, a moment to just not.
It dawned on him, and he smirked, dimples showing. “Jessi, are you jealous, sweetheart?”
It was my turn to snort. Jealous? Of what? “Why would I be jealous?” I looked at him like he’d lost HIS fucking mind. How the hell did he think he was going to ‘help’ me if he was batshit insane himself?
His eyebrow quirked. Clearly he was a firm believer in his own attractiveness. Wow, that damn ego, how does he fit through the damn door? “Want to get rid of me?” I nodded, finally figured it out, didn’t you? He chuckled and it was a deep earthy sound. “Not happening, sweetheart. Not yet, anyway.” Fuck.
“I’m not suicidal.” I practically growled. “If I were, then why wouldn’t I have used MY gun or MY knife to kill myself?” I didn’t add that since he’d taken them and done fuck knew what with them it wasn’t like I had access to any other fucking implements of self destruction. What did he think, I was going to fashion a noose out of his sheets?
Negan was leaning back in his own chair, and we were like mirror images. “You keep saying that, but, let’s just say I’m not ready to trust it.” I had a sudden urge to roll my eyes. “Am I really that terrible company?”
I considered it. If he was quiet and I was sleeping, it wasn’t torture. If he was digging through my psyche, then yes, he sucked for company. “Depends.” Was the answer I settled on.
“On?” Damn him, fucking curiosity. I wanted him to go, to leave me or send me to this promised purpose. Not talk me to death.
“How quiet you are.” There, take that.
He laughed, full bodied, eyes sparkling, and dimples fully in show. “I bet you were fucking amazing before.” I knew what he meant, before I broke. Before I locked myself away inside of my own head. “I can almost see it, almost.” His eyes, I noticed, changed colors. Not like mine do, but still.
“Has my purpose here been decided?” I asked, anything to get space from him. Away. Alone.
He shook his head. “Like I said, princess, I don’t trust it.” He didn’t trust ME he meant. Didn’t trust me to keep this, my newly present self.
When night fell, I was still sitting with him. We’d eaten, he had food brought up for us, and he kept his word. I ate what he ate. And damn it if he didn’t eat too much. A trip to the bathroom to get ready for bed and I had a flash of wonder. Where had he been sleeping?
I came out of the bathroom and he was lying on the bed with his back against the headboard. No, he couldn't have. I would have known. Wouldn’t I? “You planning on sleeping in that fucking doorway?” He shot a look over at me and I knew my eyes were wide. What the fuck?
“If you toss me a blanket, I’ll take the sofa.” I said, walking toward it, suddenly aware of the fact that I was wearing only a damn t-shirt. The same one he’d given me to change into. I was thankful that he was taller, because it meant all my important parts were covered, but I was still very aware that I was bare from mid-thigh to feet.
He shook his head. “Get in the damn bed, Jessi.” I watched him roll his eyes. “When I said I wouldn’t ‘join you’, I mean I wouldn’t JOIN you.” Just, fuck. “You didn’t seem to fucking notice before.”
Of course I didn’t. I was escaping into my own fucking darkness, and YOU pulled me part way out of it. So it’s YOUR fault that I’m aware now. I was glaring at him. “Why can’t I sleep on the damn sofa?”
He got out of bed and walked over to where I was standing near the sofa. He took my hand and pulled me to his bed. HIS bed that I was now firmly aware I’d slept next to him in for two damn nights. “You aren’t sleeping on the fucking sofa because I’m a fucking gentleman.” He lifted me by the waist and put me to bed as though I was a testy toddler. “I’m not planning on groping you, for shit’s sake.” He tucked me in, blankets pulled up to my chin. “We’ve been sharing the damn bed, get the fuck over it.”
He crawled into the other side of the bed after he’d turned off the lights. Nearly complete darkness surrounded us and made me far too aware of him. We weren’t touching, there was probably enough space between us for a wife or two, but still I KNEW he was there. And the bed wasn’t comfortable. How had I fallen away before? Why wouldn’t the fucking darkness rise up and grab me again? Damn it.
I was still awake when the sun rose. Still lying on the damn bed, flat as a board, completely awake and aware. Negan had stolen it. He’d taken away my nowhere. My nothing. My mask. And he snores.
Once it was light in the room, I climbed out of bed. I hadn’t looked out of the window. I hadn’t explored. And I wanted to.
The view wasn’t spectacular, but it was something. I was leaning against the frame, and just looking, wondering what happens next. Negan would give me a job, I vaguely recalled him explaining some during the tour. I squinted through the sun light streaming through the glass, what had I seen and heard? What else had I missed?
I heard the rustle of sheets from behind me, alerting me that Negan was awake. I didn’t turn to face him. I wanted to enjoy my solitude for a bit longer. I felt raw and tired. I felt like I was more exposed than I was, still only in the t-shirt and panties that I’d worn to bed.
Negan must have gotten out of bed, because I heard the bathroom door shut. I gave him silent thanks for giving me time alone. I let my mind wander back to Alexandria. To Dad. To Carl. To Daryl. They were like sand through my fingers. I felt something, but it was fleeting and I couldn’t grasp it and hold on to it.
I heard him come out of the bathroom, and I still didn’t turn. I didn’t say a word. I was trying so hard to hold on to the little piece of peace I had left. I could tell that he’d sat in ‘his’ seat. Which meant he had a clear view of me, or the back of me anyway.
“You know, staring a hole in a person is pretty damn creepy.” I said to the window.
He chuckled. “I was wondering if you were planning on jumping.” I groaned. Although, if he were willing to joke about it, maybe-
I turned and found him reclining in his seat, feet on the table before him, his hands behind his head. He looked well rested. That made one of us. “Sleep well?” I asked with only a hint of the irritation that I was feeling. Ugh, feelings.
“Like a baby, chock full of mama’s milk. You?” I could feel my nose wrinkle. “You look pretty fuckin' tense."
Seriously, darkness, now would be a fabulous time to come rushing back playing Pied Piper for me. Then I wouldn’t have to acknowledge him or his mocking. “The bed wasn’t comfortable. It was like I was the princess in The Princess and the Pea.”
He laughed. “Never been called a goddamn pea before.” I guess not, since I’m sure you’ve been called things that would make a former sailor blush. “I stayed on my side of the bed, sweetheart, so why couldn’t you sleep?”
Of course he would think it was about him. I REALLY wanted my former numb self. Blowing through this bargain without having to FEEL anything would make it much easier. I closed my eyes, searching for the way back. My way back to nowhere.
“Jessi?” His voice wasn’t as clear. Was it working? “Jessica Grimes, open your damn eyes.” Ugh, just like my feelings for Dad and my family it slipped away.
My eyes snapped open into a glare. “Why?” I asked, hearing the pain in my own voice. “Why did you have to meddle in something that wasn’t your fucking business?” I didn’t wait for his answer, I walked to the bathroom and shut the door. And just in case he thought I’d mindlessly follow his damn orders, I flicked the lock on the door.
#negan x ofc#daryl dixon x ofc#rick grimes daughter#the walking dead#alternative universe#mental illness#dark
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The Leading Man
Chapter 2
For clarity sake, this is taking place in the early stages of the musical, hence the “Not knowing any names” and getting to know each other stuff.
Thanks to @littledanette for the encouragement
As they say, on with the show!
———-
“The tango is a pretty intimate dance?”
“Not when it’s The Tango, Maureen.”
“Oh shit,”
“Yeah he did not learn that, at the Scarsdale Jewish Community Center,” she quipped making him laugh again.
“Alex, we’re ready for you,” someone called. “Maya, feel free to stick around if you can,”
“So, we’re..?” He started as they made their way back.
“You’re okay,” she told him again, and despite her better judgment, she stroked his shoulder. “You’re okay,”
Bridget: How’d it go?!
Maya: I MADE HIM LAUGH. I made him laugh!!! I MADE ALEX LAUGH LIKE THREE TIMES.
Bridget: Shut up are you dying?!
Maya: internally yes, I’m still here I’m watching him with the next girl, she’s so cute. She reminds me of Nina.
A younger girl took Maya aside, she seemed nervous and needed someone to talk to to get her mind off of everything. She showed her a video sharing app where people sang and danced on it.
“So you see,” the girl showed her scrolling through the posts. “I know its dumb, but it’s actually kind of fun,”
“It’s okay if you enjoy it, who is it hurting?” Maya rationalized. “I was more of a Tumblr girl myself, I’m sorry darling, you look familiar, have I seen you in something?”
“Um, I’m Presley, I was in Fun Home? You see that per chance?”
“Yes I did! She said that’s where I know you from! You were so great. You sing like an absolute angel,”
“Thank you, I loved you as Wednesday, and I watch your YouTube channel,” she giggled, looking a little embarrassed. “I’m sorry I’m like, fangirling,”
“Dude, you’re fangirling?” Maya quipped, she leaned in and dropped her voice, “you cannot tell anyone I swear,”
“What?” Presley asked in anticipation.
“Speaking of which,” Maya quipped. “I saw School of Rock like four times - if you get this gig you cannot tell anyone,”
“Aw, that is so sweet,” she said. “You should tell him!”
“Are you insane?! I can’t do that, that would be normal and lovely, I have a reputation Presley!” The little girl giggled. “So, I too,” Maya admitted. “am freaking the fuck out inside,” Presley laughed, “I just texted my friend-oh my god I made him laugh” the girl giggled. They heard footprints, and Maya’s hear clenched in her chest to her relief when Leslie sat down next to her.
“What are we talking about?” She quipped to the two.
“Being star struck,” Presley said vaguely. 'score one for girl love,’ thought Maya.
“I was talking about how I’m having a heart attack about - everyone in the room,” admitted Maya. If she played it cool and hung out with the girls it would not be suspicious. Suspicious of what she did not want to think about. She made a mark out of Leslie using the cheerful woman as a focal point so she would not stare at Alex the entire time. Trying not to fidget too much as they traded stage mishaps, and line flubs.
“I’m sitting there,” Maya recalled trying to dial it down. “trying to get through this duet, and Sam, is behind me and on the line “I am not impulsive,” the little bastard digs his fingers into my side, like peak ticklish spot, and when I tell you - I think I broke a rib clenching, just like ‘please god, do not make me laugh right here, its either that or I punch this dude in the face, I want to do neither of those things’.”
“Ever been sick on stage?” Said one blonde girl, in a black dress that was a little baggy on her. She had a higher voice kind of nasally but in an old Hollywood kind of way.
“Never sick,” Maya answered knocking on a wood desk. “But I did get my period in the middle of a show,”
“That’s the worst!” She exclaimed.
“Ugh, God, I managed to dodge that bullet,” Leslie grumbled. “You have no idea, actually, speaking of, you know who has a really good story about that kind of thing?” Oh hell please don’t say-, Maya prayed, no such luck. “Hey, Alex!” Strike me now, please God just hit me with a freak bolt of lightning. I am not here this is not happening. “Alex!”
“What’s up?” He asked, walking over. “Am I allowed in the harem? Just us girls?” Maya crossed her legs and moved over for him. He sat directly across from her in the circle they formed.
“We’re discussing being sick on stage?” Leslie prompted. “Care to comment?”
“Oh Christ, okay, so,” he begins, giving a chuckle. His mouth turned into a hairpin smirk as he averted his gaze downward. “I did not get sick, on stage thank god, but I did have food poisoning, and like I was passed the point where I could tag in Will, and besides I had like, thrown up half an hour before the show and I was starting to feel a little better,” he nervously brushed his bangs out of his eyes, blushing slightly, continued. “So I get through the first act, just white knuckling it, we get to the last song before intermission and I am suffering by that point. Finally, I get this twinge, you know the twinge? Your body is like…,” he scrambled to find the words.
“Everybody out,” Maya quipped. “It’s the titanic and you gotta get on the lifeboat Rose let’s fucking go,” Alex let out a laugh that almost killed Maya, she tried so very hard to keep it together, she turned away from him trying to hide her scarlet face. Jesus H. Christ I am a 26 year old grown ass woman I need to hold it together. It came from his heart, gained traction in his throat, erupted in his mouth with the power to fling his head back, clapping as his shoulders started to settle. She was so attracted to him in that moment, she felt fireworks in her stomach. She thanked whatever God was left in her that there were other people in the room, it was the only thing stopping her from kissing him right then and doing who knows what else to him.
“Yes! Yes, exactly,” he said his laughter dying down. “So I just said ‘excuse me for a moment’, went off stage exorcist-level puke, and passed out, I woke up half way through intermission and what was my first question?”
“Did anyone hear you?” Presley guessed, Alex put his finger on his nose as if to say “you got it!”. “That was the first question you asked when you came to,”
“Yep, I immediately asked if my mic was on,” he said.
“Good lord,” Maya started, impressed. “I know guys who call out for the dumbest shit too,” she looked at him, making eye contact. His hazel eyes meet her emerald ones, a devious glint as a look spread across his face that looked a bit like pride. She kept his gaze, and grinned, the anxiety in her heart loosened. “You,” choosing her words carefully. “are a goddamn, badass,” now it was his turn to blush.
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Fabian Cortez: A Masterlist of Marvel’s Worst Man or Mutant
@sammysdewysensitiveeyes
Heya! Sorry this took a bit. I have a LOT of Fabian comics to go through. I want to rec the ones really worth reading in terms of content, whether quantity (a lot of him) or quality (he’s important, scummy, or funny in some way) I also wanted to describe what the actual content inside them is, so you can decide for yourself if it’s up your alley or not for what you’re looking for. So under the cut I’m going to list you every piece of Fabian Cortez content worth having! Complete with pictures! Try not to drool, ladies!
I’ll start with his 616 issues.
X-Men (second series) #1: Fabian arrives! First thing he does is use the fact that his sister was nigh-fatally shot defending him to MANIPULATE MAGNETO WITH HER APPARENT DEATH while conveniently not mentioning he can heal her and she’ll be fine. Also introduces the term “flatscan” hooray!
X-Men (second series) #2: Magneto shows up to save the Acolytes from the bullshit they got themselves into. Scolds Fabian on the way home after. Quality bits include that when Magneto arrives to collect his stupid followers, Fabian grins RIGHT AT THE GODDAMN CAMERA like he fucking KNOWS. Also, THIS HAPPENS
FUCKING FABIAN I SWEAR TO GOD HE’S SO GROSS also this is when she calls him Magneto’s “pet boy” which I am never ever letting go of
X-Men (second series) #3: Fabian betrays Magneto and the other Acolytes, leaving them to die! So what’s the humorous content? Well, they’re spying on a napping Xavier, and Fabian is all “What are you doing, old man?” pondering-like, and Magneto goes “Sleeping?” and idk I find that fucking hilarious. Magneto and Fabian hold hands while Fabian tells him “Let me take you to your quarters” RAWR
X-Factor #92: Fabian’s first interaction with Pietro! He’s pulled together this massive fucking Acolytes attack on a government facility, exposed their secret Sentinel project to X-Factor, put an alien parasite in Val Cooper (which she vomits up in this issue) to control her...ALL TO TALK TO PIETRO!!! Yeah. Also he makes a girl kneel between her knees and creepy-touches her hair, then PULLS it while snarling about how Pietro will be his. So. Yeah.
The Uncanny X-Men #300: This happens
Moira also whispers to Neophyte (a teenage boy Acolyte) about how she’s seen how he looks at Fabian when no one is watching. She actually is referring to how she can tell Neo knows Fabian is lying about everything, but still. Neo also quotes some shit about how “Lord Cortez was with our savior a the moment of his death. Magnus has entrusted him” that you just fucking KNOW Fabian is the one who said this you KNOW he’s been preaching this shit to his new Acolytes. Meanwhile, the Gamesmaster TROLLS THE HELL OUT OF FABIAN by letting him talk about how “lol yeah I totes killed Magneto” when Gamesmaster knew that Neo was listening. When Fabian calls Gamesmaster out on this “You set me up!”), Gamesmaster is like “lol yup trololol” and his reason is honestly just that it was funny (”Anything to keep the game interesting”) Fabian tries to run away during a fight because of course he does. THEN WE GET THE FAMOUS NAKED TANTRUM!!!
BECAUSE THIS WAS NECESSARY
Fun fact, the naked tantrum epilogue is done by a different artist than the rest of the issue. The person who did most of the issue draws the men with heavy black body hair. The person who did the naked epilogue does not. So Fabian goes from having very hairy arms to totally smooth, suggesting he just got a full-body wax during the time between the tantrum and the main story. So there’s that. Also he breaks a window during said tantrum because THAT’S such a smart idea; nothing like glass shards in your urethra! Also jumps on a man (still naked) while he screams about being royalty. God, I love him.
The Uncanny X-Men #304: Opens with the Acolytes dogpiling on Fabian because Exodus has revealed he’s full of shit and the one who killed Magneto. He is STILL trying to give them orders---specifically, the female ones! Oh, Fabian! Exodus, rather than killing him, teleports him away, claiming that Magneto doesn’t want him executed but to suffer slowly “a victim of someone else’s legacy” This was probably meant to foreshadow that Fabian had the Legacy virus, since that plot was just starting at this time, but that never happened so it just comes off like Magneto, being an egomaniac himself, knew that just fading into obscurity would be the perfect punishment for someone like Fabs.
Avengers #368 (Bloodties Part I of V): Starts with Fabian holding little Luna above the flames of Genosha and monologuing to her. SHE’S A BABY, FABIAN. SHE CAN’T UNDERSTAND YOU. WHY DO YOU LOVE YOUR OWN VOICE SO MUCH. It is kinda cute (if you ignore the whole “city on fire” thing) that she’s wrapped up in his cloak and appears to be smiling and snuggling him while he rambles. Maybe she thinks he’s telling her a story, idk. All I know is Luna is the only person in this whole damn series who has ever liked Fabian at all and that’s because she’s a literal toddler (infant?) who doesn’t know what’s going on. Issue also ends with Fabian and Luna. He and his forces have murdered the entire government of Genosha and now he’s proclaimed himself the new Chief in State of the nation. He addresses the people from a broadcast inside the state citadel, with a worried-looking Luna on his knee, surrounded by the corpses of the former government. I personally don’t think he looks good on TV. Not good for humorous content, but is worth it if you also want to see him actually seeming scary; it’s gonna be the last time he does it.
X-Men (second series) #26: Fabian holds a very confused baby Luna as he gives a big dumb ranty speech to the Genoshans. Also shows up to flash thigh at Pietro like this:
Avengers #369 (Bloodties Part V of V): Exodus takes baby Luna from Fabian and kills him effortlessly. Nothing funny here, but if you enjoy the idea of him dying in a sewer, it may be for you!
The Uncanny X-Men #307 (Bloodties Part IV of V): Pietro, Jean, Crystal, and Wanda search the Genoshan sewers for Fabian and Luna. There’s a lot of very unintentional humor here. Pietro mistakes HIS OWN WIFE for Fabian in the dark after HEARING HER VOICE, Fabian compliments Pietro on HOW WELL HE SCREAMS FABIAN’S NAME, Fabian teling Wanda and Pietro not to fight over him, Fabian ranting about how his life is in danger AS IF HE EXPECTS ANY OF THEM TO CARE LOL. Also at this point Fabs is having a nervous breakdown in sheer pants-pissing fear of Exodus, so he is REALLY rough-looking. Very unkempt, very unclean, raggedy cape, and the only time we see his hair out of the ponytail. Don’t know if you’re into the whole “grungy crazy-eyes” look but if you are, this is the issue for you!
The 1996-1997 Magneto miniseries is full of hilarious Fabian goodness! It also does not actually have Magneto in it. It has Joseph, Magneto’s younger clone, believed by everyone at the time to be a de-aged Magneto with amnesia. It’s four issues and THE ART IS HORRIBLE and they forget Fabian’s ponytail through the whole thing except one issue...but the Fabian fuckery is AMAZING! It’s where he lies to a bird, it’s where he returns from the death no explanation and comes in LEVITATING AND SPARKLING with also no explanation how he’s doing that, where he tells a woman that snow reminds him of himself because he’s SO PURE and then tries to put her in his would-be harem two issues later and SHE BEATS HIM UNCONSCIOUS AND NO ONE QUESTIONS HER WHEN THEY WALK IN ON IT, where they lock him up and he escapes by somehow making A BIG FUCKING HOLE IN THE WALL WHAT THE FUCK and Joseph is just like “eh he’ll die out there” and apparently that’s just fine with everyone (LOOOL), where three Acolytes fight over who gets to kill him....honestly it just goes on and on, it’s great. A+ Fabian material, you must read! Fabian also tries to tutor Joseph on how to be Magneto and all I can think of is the bit in “Anastasia” where Vlad and Dmitri teach Anya about being a princess. Also he tricks “Magneto” into kissing a woman and it makes Exodus cry. So there’s that too.
Quicksilver #1: IN JUST ONE SINGLE ISSUE Fabian manages to get a MASSIVE AQUARIUM comically dumped on him because he didn't listen to a woman, literally RAINS on poor Bova and Luna who have NO IDEA why a random wet fuckboy is falling on them from the ceiling screaming, SHOOTS A HORSE FURRY ON ACCIDENT, and then gets scolded like the idiot he is by Exodus. I’m just...in awe.
Quicksilver #4-6: MAXIMUS AND FABIAN TEAM UP!!
Heroes for Hire & Quicksilver Annual 1998: Pietro is finally ready to lead the Acolytes like Fabian was always pressuring him to!...and Fabian goes “lol nope” when Pietro is like hey go fight this dangerous battle. FABIAN. Exodus and Pietro both think he’s a coward lol. Fabs just takes anyone with him who will go and tries to split XD
Magneto Rex #1: Magneto tracks down Fabian to make him serve him again. Involves Fabian saying “I guess I don’t have any choice” while kneeling in front of Magneto and a closeup of Magneto’s hand on his head. So yes. And Magneto even brought along a NEW ponytail douche with him, Pipeline, just to show Fabian he’s not special.
X-men (second series) #96: A shirtless Magneto sits up in bed after having a dream about Xavier and yells “Fabian Cortez! Attend me!” Fabian comes running into his room. Also Magneto punches him in the face.
Uncanny X-Men #379: At this point everyone knows Fabian is a big fat traitor so he doesn’t even try to hide it, he just openly talks treason to the other Acolytes. Magneto catches him and tosses him into a pillar, he ain’t even surprised.
Magneto Dark Seduction #1: Pietro walks in on Fabian sitting in Magneto’s chair when no one is around and yells at him.
Magneto Dark Seduction #2: He’s in it but not worth noting. If you want to read the Dark Seduction series as a whole though, you probably should read this just for context’s sake. He does send a goddamn email as “Trojan Horse” though. Seriously. Trojan Horse. FABIAN ARE YOU SERIOUS?!
Magneto Dark Seduction #3: Just a couple panels, but Fabian getting a fuck ton of guns pointed at him while he plays innocent!
Magneto: Dark Seduction #4: Fabian stares at a woman’s ass while negotiating with her for his release. He never notices the floating head of Sinister behind him because of said staring. He complains about the means of escape she gives him not being good enough, and then is killed by Magneto. So the last two things he does in his life is stare at a woman’s butt and be an entitled brat. HE DIED AS HE LIVED!
X-Men ‘92 is indeed great! The thing to remember is, there are TWO X-Men ‘92 series. The first series is part of the 2015 Secret Wars and is four issues. The next series, which spanned 10 issues from 2016 to 2017, is not. The one with Fabian content is the second one. However, he is NOT in every issue, and not every issue he’s in will have Quality Fabness.
X-Men ‘92 #2: His first appearance in these pages, in which he immediately shows us YUP, IT’S HIM by proclaiming himself THE SUPREME MUTANT:
X-Men ‘92 #6: Features Fabian undercover as a roadie in Lila Cheney’s band. This is where he fools all the X-Men here as security by him just wearing a goddamn baseball cap. Also features THIS FUCKING FACE:
X-Men ‘92 #7: The first page doesn’t have Fabian, but it does have someone talking about him! He’s one of The Toadies, the band that Lila was playing with, and a real-life grunge band that got to cameo in these issues! He refers to Fabian as “that weird roadie with the ponytail” which is priceless enough, but also says that the band “chased him to the parking lot but lost him” That’s right, Fabian was CHASED THROUGH A CONCERT PARKING LOT BY A GRUNGE BAND! And it was off-screen! This is both FANTASTIC because it happened and a HUGE LOSS that we didn’t get to see it. Later in the issue, Fabian himself does show up being HIMSELF and we get this:
Because we needed that angle of him, I guess. Thanks artists.
And then we get him...being himself.
X-Men ‘92 #9: It only has one Fabian panel but OH MY GOD WHAT A PANEL
X-Men ‘92 #10: Includes these wonderful moments/faces!
That time Fabian Cortez just kind of randomly photobomber the Summers-Grey-Xavier family photo
Seriously, Charles is basically Scott’s father, and to a degree Jean’s as well, Cassandra Nova is his twin sister, and Cable is the son of Scott and Jean’s clone
and then there’s Fabian
who has no connection to any of these people
who isn’t even on the same SIDE
yet has just RUN IN THERE AND INTO THE FUCKING CENTER NO LESS
FABIAN
Now let’s go one more, X-Men Forever! I don’t consider it great Fabian content, there’s really no comedy beyond how much Claremont clearly hates this guy, but given his presence in it, I’ll list his appearances and let you decide if it’s something you’d want to have a look at.
Like X-Men ‘92, X-Men Forever takes place in an alternate timeline. It branches off right after X-Men #3, when Fabian murdered Magneto. Also like X-Men ‘92, it’s the second series to be called this. The first one is by Fabian Niceiza and there is no Cortez content. The one you want is the X-men Forever written by Chris Claremont and his beautiful, beautiful hate-on for Fabian.
X-Men Forever #1: Fabian fights the X-Men. Not anything really noteworthy as funny or scummy or specifically “Fabian” here. Some of them debate killing him once they knock him out, as the X-Men all kinda become especially “fuck this guy” in X-Men Forever towards Fabian even though he’s done MUCH less shit in this universe. Why? Claremont hates him, that’s why. But yeah probably not worth it if you’re looking for a “Fabian being Fabian” fix. Is worth it is you always wanted his flat ass in khakis though!
Also the Phoenix knocks him on his ass when he manhandles Jean
And he does what he does best!
X-Men Forever #5: A shackled Fabian is dumped into the middle of nowhere into the hands of a mysterious group. Just one page, nothing funny or shitty here, not worth it for what you’re looking for I don’t think.
X- Men Forever #19: We get to see what happened to Fabian! He’s in the clutches of the Consortium, an anti-mutant organization, and he’s a tortured emaciated wreck. I don’t even like seeing him like this, man. I love him getting what he deserves but oh man this is rough. There is one kinda funny bit where, when they discover him, he asks if they came to mock him. I think this is funny just because it speaks to his egocentric mindset even in this state; yes, Fabian, they busted into a super dangerous top-secret facility just to make fun of YOU!
X-Men Forever #20: . He can’t even stand up, he has to be carried out of there. He gets shot during his own rescue, but lives (for a bit) through it, long enough to give the X-Men some info about who’s behind this operation. This is not funny Fabian content at all, so you might not want it.
X-Men Forever #21: Fabian passed away during the night after his rescue. Claremont is sure to state in the yellow boxes that “Nobody misses him. Nobody mourns.” We do get to see his dead body and Jean does a sort of psychic autopsy in which she extracts further info from his deceased brain. Again, this isn’t funny Fabian content, it’s not even really Fabian content at all, would not recommend.
We come back to the fun with “X-Men: The Animated Series” from the 1990s! Fabian appears in “Sanctuary: Part !”, “Sanctuary:Part II”, and “The Fifth Horseman.” All of them are pretty great! And gave us MY FAVORITE SCREENSHOTS OF ALL FLIPPIN’ TIME! xD THE HOLOGRAM HAREM!
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Chapter 2: History Class
Cracks In The Dam Series – Reader’s POV
She’s a quiet engineering and physics major trying to forget the demons of her past, and he’s the campus playboy trying to turn over a new leaf. Their friendship is unlikely, but just might be forged to withstand the cracks in the dams they’ve built to protect themselves. (BuckyxReader college au)
Word Count: 1900
You know how you always seem to have that one class each semester that just makes you give up three minutes into the first day? History was that class for me. I was halfway through the semester and barely holding onto a D. Maybe if I paid attention in class instead of sketching new ideas in my notebook, I could bring that grade up, but honestly, who cares? It’s history. I just need a D to pass.
“Another exciting day learning about fifteenth century history,” someone says, plopping down in the chair next to me. The husky scent of his cologne and faint tinge of cigarette smoke gives away his identity before I even look up.
“Oh lovely. Another stimulating conversation with Bucky.”
He chuckled and leaned back in the chair. “It’s been long two days without me. I know it’s hard, doll.”
“Why don’t you go sit with your harem?” I was referring to the group of girls he usually sat with in the back of the lecture hall. “I’m sure they need your attention more than I do.”
“Probably.” No shame. Not even an ounce of shame. No embarrassment. No sense of humility. How do people find him—
Okay. Fine. He’s attractive. But how do people stand to be around him?
My watch vibrates, letting me know I have a text, and I look down at it to see that Tony texted me. Thankful for the distraction, I grab my phone out of my backpack and open the conversation.
Tony: Jarvis thinks I have a concussion and keeps wanting to call an ambulance. Tell him I’m fine.
“God, it’s like babysitting a five-year-old,” I mumble. He’s nearly twice my age, but Tony Stark is just a giant baby underneath his playboy exterior. I suppose rather than an uncle, he’s more like an annoying older brother.
“That the dude from your date on Friday?”
“Yeah, but it wasn’t a date.”
Canary: You designed Jarvis. He knows you better than you do. If he thinks you have a concussion, go to the damn hospital.
Canary: What did you do, btw?
“Not a date. Right. Dressed like you were? Doll, that dress you wore was probably more than my last paycheck.”
Setting my phone down, I gave all of my attention to the dark-haired man beside me. “Why so interested in my love life, Barnes? Your one-night stands getting boring?”
He leaned forward, arms crossed on his desk, and gave me a smirk with that damn twinkle in his eye. “Why so defensive, Y/L/N? Jealous that your best friend found her true love and you struck out on Friday night?”
“Oh, God, don’t remind me about Nat and Steve. They’re disgusting. Literally they’re always making out on the couch or in my kitchen or… ugh.” I’m happy for Nat, but still. Boundaries, girl!
Tony: It’s Bubba’s fault. I tweaked the thrusters and tested them out and that stupid machine didn’t spot me like he should have.
Tony: If I had a concussion, would I be able to type grammatically correct sentences? Checkmate.
“Boy trouble?” Bucky wiggled his eyebrows and I just shot him a dirty look.
“Boss trouble. Gimme a sec.” Rather than text him back, I dialed his number and waited for him to pick up. I didn’t even give him time to say hello when he answered. “Go to the damn hospital, Tony.”
“No time, Cannie. We’ve got that—”
“I will drag your stupid ass to the hospital myself. If I’m going to be on my A-Game this week, you need to be too. I need your brain. It’s the whole reason I have a job. I’m going to tell Jarvis to call that ambulance.”
“They’ll just tell me I can’t do the presentation and—”
“For fucks sake, man. I’ll do the presentation. Your brain is your best asset and no-no, don’t say anything. I regret that word choice already. You need to make sure you didn’t fuck up and ruin it.”
“Grammatically correct sentences.” He said pointedly. “I’m fine.”
“I’ll believe it when a doctor tells me that.” I hung up and immediately called the line that Tony set up for me to directly connect to Jarvis. “Jarvis, I’m overriding whatever stupid command Tony gave you and telling you to call a goddamn ambulance.”
“Miss Y/L/N, I cannot approve an override without—”
“Override code: Please and thank you.”
There was a moment of silence before Jarvis approved the code and called an ambulance. I just loved that AI. I swear, he was more human than most humans sometimes.
By the time I finished with all of that drama, Bucky was watching me with a puzzled grin on his lips. “I’ve never heard anyone talk to their boss like that.”
“You’ve never met my boss. You’d understand.”
Just as Bucky was about to say something else, the professor drew everyone’s attention to begin another boring lecture. As usual, my attention span lasted roughly thirty seconds before I was bored to tears and turned to a clean page in my notebook.
Tony said he was messing with the thrusters? I could only imagine the kind of scene that played out when he tested them. Get footage from Jarvis, I wrote in the margin of the page before starting playing around with the thruster design.
For the presentation on Friday, we would definitely have to go with the original design. There was no way I was going to trust one of Tony’s tweaks less than a week before the biggest presentation of my life. This might not be as big of a deal for him, but this was my first real presentation. If I could nail this in front of the entire board of Stark Industries, the CIA, and select individuals from the US Armed Forces, then I was set for life. I would have my choice of jobs. I could do whatever I ever imagined after graduating next year.
I just couldn’t let Tony screw this up.
But since I knew him, I knew that he was going to play around with the design until he got bored with it, so I had to keep up with him. Maybe I could even come up with some ideas he hasn’t yet. Beat the great Stark to a breakthrough. That was the dream…
My watch vibrated again and I glanced down to see the message scrolling past the screen.
Jarvis: Mr. Stark has been admitted to New York-Presbyterian Hospital. He is not happy. I will keep you updated on his whereabouts so you will be able to find him when you are finished with your classes for the day.
“Big baby,” I whispered under my breath.
Warm breath on my shoulder drew my attention to Bucky, who was leaning over to look at my notebook. “You a fashion designer or something?”
“Or something,” I muttered. He was entirely too close to me, so I shoved him lightly. “Dude, personal space.”
The rest of class went by uneventfully. Bucky kept trying to distract me and I kept squinting at my notes on the project. There was something I could do with it. Something I hadn’t thought about yet. I just knew it.
Before I knew it, class had passed and everyone was suddenly moving, shoving their notebooks and laptops into their bags. As if snapped out of a daze, I looked around.
“Well, that was a fascinating lecture, as usual,” Bucky drawled, stretching his arms back and over his head. Why guys always took up so much space was a mystery to me.
“I sure hope none of that is gonna be on the test,” I mumbled, gathering my things.
Bucky stayed by my side and, uncharacteristically, stayed quiet until we were out of the classroom. Ever since Nat, my best friend, started dating Steve, his best friend, Bucky and I found ourselves together all too often. So I knew that he rarely shut up.
“You know,” he started, and I nearly groaned. So close. So close to a full sixty seconds without speaking. That would have been a record. “I could help you out with this class.”
“You? Really?”
His brow furrowed minutely and there was a wounded expression that flashed across his eyes. It was so brief that I nearly didn’t catch it. “Hey now, just because I’m hot and sexy as hell doesn’t mean I can’t be smart too. You should know.”
That made me scoff. “Right.”
But… if Bucky really could help me out in this class… I was teetering right on the edge of failing. I really didn’t want to retake this class next semester…
“No strings?”
“What kind of strings would I attach, Y/L/N?”
We stepped out into the cool fall air and I stopped just before going down the stairs to the building. Bucky imitated me and I eyed him for a long few moments, trying to discern his true intentions. Why did he offer to help me? What did he have to gain?
“Okay,” he gave in with a hidden smile. “Fine. One string.”
“Ha! I knew it!” There was always something.
He shoved his hands into his pockets and paused for a moment, as if trying to figure out how to word his stipulation. “One string: friendship. That’s it. I promise. I’ll help you, but you have to admit that we’re friends.”
That was not at all what I had been expecting. “Why?”
He huffed a small laugh and there might have actually been a spattering of blush on his cheeks. “Alright, this is going to make me sound like a complete douche, but it’s the truth. I swear.”
“Spit it out, Buck.”
“I like this,” he motioned to the space between us. “Because you’re not into me. Besides Nat, you’re the only other woman who doesn’t try to get my attention or get into my pants. It’s refreshing.”
“Poor Bucky,” I crooned. “It must be so hard to have all the women falling over themselves for you. Being the resident sex-god must just be the worst.”
He rolled his eyes. “I know, I know. Douchey, right?”
I shook my head and started walking towards the library. “It’s conceited, is what it is. I can guarantee you that Nat and I are not the only women who don’t want to sleep with you. You just never notice the girls who don’t pay any attention to you.”
“You’re probably right,” he surrendered. “But about our deal, whattaya say, friend? Besides, we’re gonna spend a lot of time together anyway, with Nat and Steve dating. Might as well just accept the inevitable.”
My watch vibrated just as I started to respond and I glanced down to see a short message from Tony seconds before another text came through from Jarvis.
Tony: I hate you.
Jarvis: Mr. Stark has a mild concussion but is otherwise in excellent health. He is going back home.
Turning my attention back to Bucky, I gave him a small smile. “Let’s see how the first study session goes.”
“Tomorrow at one? Grab some lunch while we’re at it?” With a victorious grin, he started walking backwards away from me.
“I have to work all day. I can do Wednesday at one though.”
“I’ll meet you at your place with food, then. See ya later, friend!”
Watching him walk away, I wondered what the hell I’d just gotten myself into.
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I was raped.
I am sorry for cutting to the chase here. I have been wanting to write this for weeks now and never knew exactly how to. Every time I started I wanted to write a consistent story. But the matter of the fact is that I am still trying to comprehend everything that happened, I am still trying to cope - and not doing that well on that department - I am also really trying not to fall back into the dark abyss of self mutilation and heavy drinking. Hence why I am writing this long post. Not only because I need to write about this to maybe get it out of my mind a little more; but also so that other girls, women, boys and men can see hey are not alone in this god fucking hell hole that shit like this throws you into.
Being raped is hard. Especially when it is done by someone you consider your friend. Or rather, you considered your friend for over seven years. Someone that sucked you into his occult harem. I was not the only woman he touched, nor was I the youngest. Unfortunately I will probably not be the last he will touch either. This man, or rather this ‘man’ has gradually sucked me into his occult little world over the years and always appeared to be a caring, good humored friend. The last one and a half years were the worst. That’s when back rubs turned into touching. Touching turned into rape. One rape turned into I don’t know how many I can still count. I used to count, but the more I remember the larger the number of times become. I have no physical proof. Going to the police will not help, not even with the other victims that I know personally. All of us have a psychiatric diagnosis. He doesn’t have one. So who the fuck are they going to believe? Not us. The fact that I have to carry these scars for the rest of my life means nothing to anyone except the people that love me. They try to help me, but not even I know how the fuck they should be able to help.
There are days where I just sit in my bed, or on the couch or even behind the computer and can’t do anything but do the thousand yard stare. It is either that or crying my eyes out. Seeing his face in front of me 75% of the time. Either I feel way too much or nothing at all. I want to numb the pain but I know I shouldn’t. I went down that road so many times before that I know I should not go there again. I want to keep busy but I am too tired. I am so goddamn tired all the time. I get no peace. I can’t sleep, I hardly eat. When I eat I’d rather eat stuff like pizza or hamburgers or fries. Anything that is far from healthy. Still losing weight like crazy all of a sudden. Seeing I am a big girl I am not opposed to losing weight but I would rather have had a different cause for the weight loss. Anything but this really.
I have been depressed so many times in my life. But nothing, absolutely nothing has come as close to this pain by far. Nothing brings me joy. Not my pet, not being with my friends or family, listening to music, trying to craft, cleaning, eating, drinking, watching movies, being in bed, writing... Nothing. I can’t listen to most music because we shared too much in that department. There are so many TV series and movies I can’t watch because I will be reminded of times I watched them together with him. Or there is rape in a movie or series. Everything makes me cry. Everything makes me want to vomit or scream. I smile and laugh so little these days I almost scared myself last night when I full on laughed about a silly video on Facebook. But I kept it going for half an hour for my own sake.
When I take showers I have to make them so excruciatingly hot and scrub myself so hard it will take me about an hour after the shower before my skin starts feeling normal again. But otherwise I will still feel dirty. I always feel dirty. I can still feel his hands, his disgusting dick inside me and on me. When I try to masturbate, I can’t. Within no time I see his face in front of me and I have to stop and go to the bathroom to wash my hands and my downstairs. I no longer can read about sex, not even if it is consensual. My own male friends scare the shit out of me now. I never used to be scared of them. I never used to be scared of sex. I used to be into BDSM for crying out loud. The only thing I want is for someone to hold me and guide me through this. But nobody can. I am not getting any help with this yet and I am on my way to PTSD faster than even I thought possible.
My therapist told me I shouldn’t forget that he is a human being. That he also has feelings and humans make mistake. Fact is that she started talking about something like that way too early. This person has told me that he likes to make people suffer. He makes them suffer and enjoys seeing them in pain. Whether that be mental or physical - it is enjoyable to him. I am sorry - but I am not sorry - I can not see him as a human being anymore. I do not even WANT to see him as such. In my eyes he is a fucking monster. A monster with tentacles and claws that have clutched themselves on my heart and mind and I cannot shake. Every time I think I am feeling better and going forward, I get smacked in the face by even the smallest thing and pushed back by miles.
I do not want to feel like this. I do not want this pain. I am very realistic and know I do have it and I do feel like this. I accept it. I will never accept what he did. Nor will I forgive him - at least for the time being. I will forgive him but only for my own sake. When it comes to him - I hope he dies a slow and very painful death. It’s not very mindful of me, nor is it a ‘proper’ idea of me. But guess what? I don’t fucking care. What he did to me was not fair. What he did to my friends was not fair. What he did to my sister was not fair. Nothing in this was fair. But my main goal is to become healthy again. I want to be happy. I want to have peace in my mind and in my heart. I want to stop being scared of my friends. I don’t want to be scared of anything period. I want to be HAPPY AND AT PEACE.
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Thotty Thursday: Part One
There ain’t no goddamn way I could start something like this and not come out swinging with the top dog. The heavy weight champ. My personal creme de la creme. The character who started it all and made me what I am today. That’s right, I blame all this thotty shit on this demon man right here.
“Holy blast from the past, Batman!” You cry out in dismay. “What is this, some 80’s shit!?”
I’ll have you know Yu Yu Hakusho is all 90’s, baby. Just like me. 😤
So let me tell y’all a little bit about my number one husbando. He’s perfect, for starters. Like, I’d challenge you to name one thing Hiei ever did wrong, ever.
You know what, never mind. Let’s not get into that right now.
Okay, I admit my dude has a bit of a harried past and he’s not ever always the nicest but that gives him depth. Range. He CAN go deep and he WILL.
If you catch my drift 👀
So when this bite sized snack was first introduced in the narrative he was all bad. Like bad bad. At just a glance, there was nothing good or redeeming about him and it wasn’t until later that we find out he’s something of a sympathetic antihero.
His moral alliances didn’t matter to eleven year old me one bit tho, this shit had me straight up fantasizing about becoming a ruthless thief and running off to the demon world with the man who literally knocked me on my ass
And when I say literally I don’t mean figurative, haha ironic literally. I mean literally literally
PHEW please believe that I would betray all y’all for even a single night with Hiei, on god 😩
Did i mention he’s a demon yet?
Yeah, in addition to having the super amazing ability to control fire at will, he also has a very ... eye catching transformation. 👁👁
Now, I’ve seen even some die hard fangirls reject this form but it really doesn’t bother me. I actually rather like that particular shade of green and I don’t think it detracts from his good looks - if anything it just adds another layer to the evil mysterious bad boy vibe he’s got going on.
You think I wouldn’t throw my pussy in a circle for him just because he’s covered in eyeballs??
Hah
Think again
However I will say having sex in this form would probably be an awkward affair all around. Not only because having that many eyes impassively staring me down might cause a serious case of stage fright, but also because ... those peepers on his chest bout to get poked out by my titties! 😳
I mean, if he’s into that I won’t put up much of a fight
But I personally can’t imagine having a nipple touch your cornea being a very pleasant experience
Anyway
Can we talk about those gorgeous ruby red eyes on his perfect little face for one gotdamn second please???
I admit, I am weak for a man with red eyes and that’s 100% Hiei’s fault
The only ones that even come close to being as captivating and intense are Senkuu’s (Dr. Stone, for those of you not in the know) but even his don’t hit QUITE as hard as Hiei’s
Can you even begin to imagine how it would feel to have him staring you down in a completely casual setting let alone an intimate one?? 😳
Mark me down as scared AND horny
I especially like how one minute they’ll be sharp, pinpoint dots that just tell you in no uncertain terms he’s out for blood
Which he usually is but that is neither here nor there
And then the next moment, his eyes are huge and taking up half his face
It seems like his eyes are at their biggest and most vulnerable looking whenever his sister is involved (which, for the sake of spoilers on a 25+ year old series I will not go into too much) or when he’s particularly eager about something (usually fighting) OR when someone inexplicably manages to appeal to his emotions. And trust me when I say that is a lot easier said than done
Hiei is one of the toughest eggs to crack in my harem but I like the challenge 😤
He’s not all fire and brimstone (mostly but not entirely) and I know he can lay the pipe like a goddamn CHAMP
I know his dick big, I know it is
That’s why he’s so short. All of his nutritional intake went straight to his cock but I can tell just by looking that he’s slanging some grade A meat. Do not fight me on this. I will throw hands to defend his honor and that is not a joke
I’m a strong enough bitch to stand by him even when he’s getting roasted by the squad. I’ve done it before and I’ll do it again.
Ofc that’s not to say he’d just stand there and let them drag him, but the point here is that I’ve got his back and that’s what counts
“But he looks like Vegeta 2.0” you reasonably point out and to that I say “what about it?”
I mean. Can Vegeta do THIS?
I’m just joking, I was a thirsty little slut over Vegeta too
Short king solidarity ✊😤
His height doesn’t even bother me fr fr tho because 1: I’m about 90% sure he’s still growing by demon standards and his sister is also quite short whereas their mother was a normal height 2: I’m also short so it’s not like I’d be towering over him anyway and 3: some men like taking a girl who’s bigger than them and bending her to their will
And when I say he’s an unchallenged top ... Lord have mercy 🥵
Every encounter with him in or out the bed would be a challenge. Every 👏 single 👏one 👏
But I believe that with enough patience it’s totally possible to chip away at his mile wide walls and I know for a fact he’d be a great (if not slightly yandereish) lover
Protective in a standoffish way, territorial, demanding, strong enough to carry you in one arm while he slashes demons in half with the other, intensely intimate, just the right amount of Demon Crazy to keep the relationship exciting 🤪
Note I said Demon Crazy and not regular ol’ crazy. There IS a difference
Just whatever you do, don’t let this big eyed baby face fool you
Hiei is not the type to share his toys or let them question who’s in charge. He lacks social finesse in a general sense and his interpersonal skills are ... toeing the negative, to say the least
Plus he’s a demon so his idea of courtship is going to be drastically different from mine. If he decides he wants it then by god he’s gonna take it and I respect that
Tbh I’d anticipate some low key stalking from this dude - the kind that you don’t even notice until it’s much too late and I don’t mean he’d be lingering around every corner or conveniently there each time you turned around. No, that’s too basic for a man like this
Tbh you wouldn’t even know he was there unless he WANTED you to know
You see that third eye he’s sporting?
It gives him telepathic abilities
That’s right. In addition to controlling fire and having a multi eyed form that should appeal to any self respecting monster fucker, he can ALSO read minds
Y’all
If this man had any idea what I was thinking about him ... 😰
He’d probably kill me for the insolence, let’s not lie
But this is MY romantic fantasy and I say fuck that
He’d be able to keep tabs on you at all hours of the day, any time, anywhere - you wouldn’t even be safe from his ever watchful eye(s) while sleeping and though it’s not an ability canon touched on I see absolutely no reason why he couldn’t telepathically slip into your dreams
A nighttime visit from Hiei? Preferably a horny one? 👀 sign me the fuck up
Imagine peacefully sawing some logs and fucking around in dreamland when he suddenly appears before you acting like your very presence is a bother
Then why are you here?? I didn’t ask you to come into my dreams, thank you very much
He responds in kind and his pointed jabs just get you more and more riled up until he finally pounces
Absolutely demolishes the pussy
I’m talking put that kitty in the grave
Then when you wake up the first thing you notice is how slick you are between the thighs
“Must’ve been a crazy dream” you mutter like the dummy thicc bitch you are
But when you look down at your sore wrist, you can see faint, blooming splotches in the shape of fingertips and you realize it was all real
A demon fucked you in your sleep and you enjoyed the hell out of it
“I wonder if he accepts frequent flyer miles” 🤔
How he finna grab the pussy
Like, hello??? Am I the only one thinking about this stuff??
Yes?
Okay then, damn. Guess I’ll just crawl back into my 90’s, smells like teen spirit cave
It’s quite comfy, actually, thanks in no small part to Hiei keeping it nice and toasty for me
The dick helps too
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