#but I hate how it knocks me out | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ejunkiet · 1 year

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I am a creature of tension and migraines >:(

#and I hate it. so much.#wednesday was long and intense #got completely overstimulated by the end of it #and have been fighting a migraine ever since #my brain feels bruised #it's a tension thing #and the side effect of biting off more than I could chew on wednesday #but I hate how it knocks me out #and like. ibuprofen is not the answer #i've been cutting down on light sources all evening #i've been feeling like poop all day #and yeah. migraine.#anfjkdfgdsf

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familyabolisher · 2 months

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an annoying corollary to the whole "self-flagellating for crime of being a customer" thing is when people make perfectly legitimate and polite complaints to me at work and apologise five billion times for doing so like i don't care....

#.txt #lady ordered a med-rare steak that came out med-well #& complained and had it remade -- totally fair! i would too i hate med-well #but omg. she KEPT apologising for the complaint and saying how she hated complaining at restaurants ALL NIGHT #table was vv sweet and nice to me but at a certain point it was just like. God what do u want me to do with this lol?#like if your stuff is cooked wrong we'll refire it and knock some money off your bill and get you a free drink or something #doesn't have to be this whole thing like my feelings are not hurt because a chef fucked something up #also just like now i have to stand here reassuring you that it wasn't a problem for us or the kitchen &c &c and it's just like #okay this is so fucking irritating....

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marthaskane · 1 year

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I'm fine. Really, I am.

STARGIRL (2020- ) ↳ Frenemies: Chapter Ten | The Killer

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daincrediblegg · 9 months

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The honor is mine, my loyal child.

#yeah I'm gonna be deeply unwell about this for a good long while.#uhhhhh hari seldon priest kink lets go???#LET IT BE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE #the way prisma also called me the fuck out when I said that on stream and was like 'no. you would immediately drop to your knees'#mortifying ordeal of being known as an old man fucker #its true and I'd immediately knock my head to his belly/dick it's true #my little (well not so little) pillow #hari seldon #brother constant #foundation #spoilers #hate how this show makes me lose my ENTIRE mind every single episode this season. disgusting

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emperorcartagia · 12 days

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where is his emmy

#i actually cannot get into this because i wont stop but this shit is so damn good.#i love how big and scary his eyes get when he gets defensive #peter/londo absolutely ATE this scene too like... ACTING!!!!#its just so good its such good delicious food for meee yummy #i just love how intimidating londo is and how sinister he can be #weve been seeing how determined he is and how he schemes to get what he wants #but theres something special about seeing him knock a former ally down a couple pegs #but also bill forward is so god damn perfect for this role in every way its really great #he physically compliments londo in his apperance being taller being more thin his softer features in his face his smaller nose #he is essentially londos waluigi and i love it so much #it makes his role as a foil for londo even more apparent and striking. its perfect.#i love the little mannerisms he has when he acts as refa #his head movements #the nodding thing he does where he tucks his chin into his chest to get Serious #he carries himself in such an Alien way and it is perfect physical acting for a centauri character #he really understood this role and understood the character and i dont think anyone else could have played him #and gave the performance he did #he is soooo criminially underrated #the way that he barely blinks is so slimy and scary it is so fucking perfect. excuse me.#also as an aside #'ohhh londo'#i need to lie down. i hate him.#also refa and londos chemistry is actually insane in every scene they have i am locked the fuck in because theyre both so capitavting #and they work with each other So Well #i need to just write my damn essay on him and get it all out of my system because whew.#lots of thoughts for a guy in six episodes ! ! !

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outeremissary · 2 months

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Ritual....

Happy "I'm sure it's still OC Kiss Day 5 somewhere" to all who celebrate. It's me. I celebrate. I was busy coloring something else and forgot what I was doing.

Hey if you didn't read the tags yet I think there's a fun game of "guess what 5e class this 'witch' actually had" here

#may skip day 6 because that one is ummm. labor intensive and I have two other pieces that are way higher priority #one is getting *clenches fist* so close to done #anyway day 5 goes out to my friend who DMed Olin's campaign and got upset when he saw my outline for the week because Olin wasn't there #he would not take protests such as 'Olin is not a kissing guy' or 'I'm not designing new family members for this dude'#this one goes out to you man. Olin kiss day. knocking out the second Carmen of the week and the only Kas that had been on the outline #that guy was funny as fuck for saying Olin couldn't be an Odin follower because it was immersion breaking for an FR module #but also hating FR lore so much he gave me free rein to do whatever I wanted for replacement religion as long as canon names were attached #yeah this is how Mystra works I think. I played a 'Mystra follower' for over a year and only learned about Mystra from BG3 a year later #ockiss24 #emi art #olin foundling

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dirt-str1der · 1 year

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Love characterising nishikiyama as a booze hound drug hound meth addict high every day body mass 75% alcohol hands constantly shaking literally spacing out while driving fifty over the speed limit using elderly folk as speedbumps one hand on the wheel and one hand free to do more drugs and coming into work while functionally deaf and blind and he is still leagues more competent at his job than kiryu

#Yakuza loveblog #i dont talk about nishikiyama enough because im kazamapilled and hate him a little bit but im also kiryupilled and love him so much so you #see my problem? like i adore when nishiki is just. better in every way than kiryu and nobody ever sees that because theyre all too busy #sucking kiryus cock like okay nishiki had the rest of his life planned out when he was twenty and he was an extremely successful criminal #and getting himself noticed in many many circles then kiryu steps outside and gets into a street fight immediately and the entire tojo clan #surrounds him to throw cash at him like nishiki was actually doing so well for himself before his life was ruined. nothing is his fault #like i love just accepting that nishiki has one hell of a substance abuse problem and nobody cares enough about him to talk to him about it #and kiryu thinks its normal because hes the only one who can see that nishikis doing some great work out there so he must be doing #everything right. inconceivable that nishiki has any sort of ‘problem’ hes the real screwup and kiryu knows he makes life harder for himself #but he refuses to change because hes convinced that thats the only thing hes good at. like i believe that nishiki has a coke snorting #mechanic in game like harry db and without his coke buff he cant do as much damage like with it his output is on par with kiryus whos just #been blessed since birth by the violence gods. anyway kiryu is the only person in the world who thinks that nishiki is great do you get it #nishiki has lived his entire life in kiryus shadow and he doesnt care that kiryu has a natural charisma that he will never have. he has to #get out there every single day networking and socialising and hustling and nonstop landing interviews with cool magazines to get his name #out in the world while kazama takes kiryu out and drags him by the elbow to meet people like this is my son kiryu who has every disease and #everyone claps and cheers like i cannot stress enough how on top of the game nishiki is compared to kiryu. he has a car. kiryu doesnt even #have his own lighter. they are not on the same playing field and yet nishikis always trailing behind him because opportunity is always #knocking at kiryus doorstep whether he likes it or not and nishiki gets fed scraps and nothing else and hes the one with ambition he wants #the view on top and most importantly he wanted his brother there with him but nobody ... likes him ... nobody likes nishiki nobodys in his #corner he onky had kiryu and when he lost him it was quite literally him against the world. it always made me laugh how at the end of yk1 #harukas paying her respects at nishikis grave when the only time he ever cared about her was because he wanted her little pendant and he #(actually fucked how alone nishiki was he didnt even have his own fucking men to rely on he was basically working alone with someone he knew #was using him like ??? he was fucking desperate) anyway i really love to think that kiryu being nishikis only friend and the last person in #the world who thought kindly of him (barring like ... kashiwagi) was grieving terribly over his death and haruka being a sensitive and #sweet little girl took the initiative to ask about nishiki and i think kiryu would tell her stories every night of the kind of stuff he and #nishikiyama would get up to when they were her age. he would tell her how amazing nishiki was and how he always looked out for him how he #took care of his sister and how he would always be the one to remind them of impending birthdays and the like. nishiki cared about the #little things .. and he made kiryu want to care about them too but theres just something different between them because nishikis always #been a better person than him .. and he would tell haruka in a voice that sounded like he was begging her to understand that nishiki wasnt a #bad person.. though he did bad things he was a good man and he still wishes with all his heart that he could have done more to save him ...

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cinnamon-notes · 9 hours

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i have been ghosting my friends for idk a month??? and they have been doing the same??? except for when we meet in a workplace cuz somehow our jobs decided to cross over :)

#feeling so bad about it but like i cant bring myself to interact with people right now but i am also constantly sad because i dont interact #with anyone out of work :/ but working makes me socially exhausted & tbh all i wanna do is be depressed with my books & my movies &my tunes #but i also crave affection like i realize i have zero social life and i sometimes schedule some hangout with my friends but it's almost #become like idk a task? something i look at through work eyes. like- i arrange our hangouts the way i arrange work meetings. it's so sad.#i know it is. but still- i cant help it. through all my life ive been missing having a lifelong friend who knows me like the back of their #hands and i know like the back of mine. never had it. cant cry over that. it's passed. i cant invent lifelong friendships that never existed #and i gotta make peace with that. plus- what am i complaining about if im just incapable of keeping any friend for longer than a month???#after the first month- maybe the first couple of months- it all gets boring and dont get me wrong i really love my friends but somehow they #lose interest in me and i lose interest in them and we become just people who know each other and occasionally hang out but like- i've never #had a friend who's there for me when things happen in my life. i've always had friends to tell things to afterwards. like- i know i cant #really pick up the phone and say “hey. im having a bad time. can we take a walk? talk on the phone? can you tell me about your day? can you #just be here for me?“ and i cant even idk just randomly pop up with a ”oh my god i hate him i hate him i hate him it's a whole montague vs #capulet but if romeo and juliet never existed kind of hatred!!“ i just cant vent right away. ive always thought that that's my problem.#and maybe it is. but still- how's come they can vent to me? im always there right away. i do love my people and i show up for them.#sometimes my depression makes it soooo difficult to hang out constantly but if there's one thing that cannot be said about mw is that i dont #care. cuz i do. and maybe that's the problem #and maybe it's just easier for me to care than let others care? idk? but then again- i did try to open up. i did try to let them care. i did #try everything by the book & off the book but still- idk it's always just an “im sorry” never an “i care so much to say more than im sorry”#and yeah it's my problem cuz i am not a constant person im not that steady in what i do. i still dont know if it's because i havent found #yet the people worth doing it or if i am just traumatized (my ex is knocking on this door lol) but- idk it makes me extremely sad!!!#and ive rambled on way too much but i jusg needed to let some things out of my mind cuz i cant understand whats wrong with me and why i #crave true friendships although im hella scared of and bored of and unwilling to nurturing one :)#cinnamon diary

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youssefguedira · 2 months

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today the bfi southbank cinema in london showed una questione privata as part of their season on the taviani brothers (who directed it) so of course i dressed up in my best approximation of what milton unaquestioneprivata is wearing in this movie and went. it was my first time (after like. uhh. a large number of watches) seeing this with actual subtitles that made sense and also just a lovely time. they handed out both a free book about the directors and a little page of their comments on the film. ideal experience for people like me who are a lil tiny bit obsessed with this one

(btw if this sounds fun to you and you're in london / able to reach it easily there's another showing on monday at 9pm!)

#neon has thoughts #my travel time compared to the run time of the film is Not a good number. proportionally. but it was worth it i think #(the pictures in the book are all just promo shots but i will try to get a picture / write up a couple parts of the screening notes because #they were interesting to Me. anyway when will they do this for danger diabolik)#to really maximise my experience i read the entire book on the train there which gives you an indication of how damn long my train journey #was. and i do think it made me enjoy the movie even more. good time #anyway in honor of my beloved almost inevitably getting knocked out of the tournament which i have been neglecting oops.#also i hate the english title. girl what is the rainbow there for. why did we need that.

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mrsmarlasinger · 1 year

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Hmmmmmmmm quick question! What do you do when your executive dysfunction has reached such a critical state that you:

are actively ignoring things you desperately need to do

are ghosting your employers (even though you can make it all go away by doing the one thing you most need to do: send an email and QUIT)

have almost three dozen notifications that you can't even bring yourself to look at

completely unironically have done nothing but sleep and flip between two apps for days

are fucking up your professional/financial future even though you need to move out in a matter of months

✨and✨

are paralyzed by anxiety that keeps mounting to increasingly unsustainable heights

YET

you GENUINELY CANNOT figure out how to PHYSICALLY FORCE YOUR BODY to do the (extremely short, extremely important) list of things you keep telling yourself you're going to do

because at this point you can't even shower or change the clothes you've been wearing for days on end?

Asking for a friend. I'm the friend.

#i'm actually really really scared at this point #i don't know what to do i can't get unstuck i feel like i'm being fucking possessed by a demon of sloth or something (idk i'm not catholic)#the last time this happened THIS badly was a year ago in my last semester of college #i literally was not going to graduate bc I couldn't finish my online course and i was every day paralyzed with fear but i COULDN'T #eventually i sat down once for 8 hrs straight and once for 27 hrs straight and knocked it out in two sittings. how did i do that #i feel like i have no control over myself. all i am all the time is tired and miserable and scared and i can't stop sleeping i just can't #i sleep through every single day and i can't stop it. i can't even stop myself from eating chips and candy and fucking bullshit like that #i'm literally just in what feels like a crisis but it's the most static passive crisis on earth and looks from the outside like NOTHING #like you talk to me and think i'm fine and just being really lazy but inside i am panicking and i hate myself but i'm STUCK #idk what to do like i honestly wish i had meth or coke at this point lol. anything to force my brain out of this fucking static haze #i think i'll pound some kratom. red to gloss over the anxiety‚ white for energy. just parachute a couple grams and cure it. i hope.#god you have no idea what i'd do just to get off tumblr and reddit for ten minutes #personal #executive dysfunction #adhd #depression #actually adhd #actually depressed #untreated adhd #vent #vent tw #vent cw #tw vent #cw vent #mental illness #mental illness tw

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cuterozhok · 1 year

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Some postcards I made for my best friend on his birthday. He will receive them soon!

Pink Ninjara was his main and I used to yell at him all the time because he always kicked everyone's ass including mine whaha. Damn man, you haven't even played ARMS that much but you were the best! Also there's an Oni and Lonk, because we share a lot of memories together with these characters, so I decided to picture them, too. If you ever find this post - Happy Birthday again and only the best wishes from me💋 Miss you very much and hope to see you soon again.

#When like five of us played together there were at least two Jaras bc most of my friends likes Jara #And I always screamed WHO THE FUCK OF YOU IS PINK NINJARA #and then when I turned I always seen his smiled face and how he was trying not to giggle #And I was like oh yeah I forgot YOU always are pink Jara🙄#All of you were always trying to knock out me first because you were AFRAID OF ME #Everyone used to hate me bc of the “Y” on Springtron but I regret nothing #arms #arms nintendo #arms game #tloz link #nintendo switch #oni demon #my art #ctr personal #ninjara

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wikagirl · 3 months

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yo anyone else having the issue that you're being weirdly fatphobic towards only yourself?

#idk why I always hate something on me that I love on others #maybe It's because I lack the confidence to rock certain outfits/pieces so it looks off on my bc I don't math the vibe of the fit #I had to wheigh myself today to fill out a form that arrived in the mail yesterday #just a questionare for my doc about how I'm handeling my meds so far #and since the meds completely knock out hunter for some folks they can lead to eds and rapid wheightloss #I actually gained some wheight after my extreme drop when I started working #I'm assuming it's muscle mass because for the amount it went up I should see visual changes/have clothes fit different but there is nothing #in that department #but after being snuggeled up in warm sweaters for 3 months having to strip down and actually do an assessment on your body is #its ugh #just ugh #but I guess being the “fat” girl in a class of girls who were literally flexing on eachother with how often they purge #and thus you being picked on for your wheight will do that kinda shit to you #personal #tw body image #tw bulemia mention

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bluebellhairpin · 3 months

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Not me studying the jjk wiki page so I could find out enough about cursed techniques to make an oc.

#its purely so i can have the physical capability to like. strangle. toji.#idk how i feel about him rn. im very confused.#i liked him to begin with. then i found out he was a deadbeat dad decided to hate him. now im unsure #hes hot but also his personality sucks and idk. i havent decided if thats a turn off for me yet #so for now i need to be able to mantis hi. in that immediately after having sex i murder him. hes barely gone soft and i just knock him off.

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mrfoox · 1 year

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The fact I refuse to confront/inform the people who have basically ruined my mental state and my ability to function bc that would make them feel bad is honestly bonkers

#miranda talking shit #I cant say id be having a good and normal life if i wasnt abused as a young child but im 90% sure I'd not have this must trouble #Id still have my autistic and add problems but my anxiety and depression would definitely be a lot better #Its... Insane. That my older brothers probably have no idea how much they have actually ruined my life/mental state from such an earlh age #As 4 yrs old... Hell they might not even remember it or even think it was a 'big deal'. I know my second oldest brother probably falls into #The latter. I know now that they both most likely have undiagnosed adhd/autism and they used me as a way to act out/feel better #But being told youre stupid. Fat. Ugly. Useless from the age of 4 like... I cant stress how much it have ruined my self image #Ive tried to build confidence in myself and love myself since my teens and i can barely say im 'avarge' without doubting it #Like they also hit me but that's nothing compared to the mental torture i had to go through on an almost daily basis #Funniest thing is that bc it happened/started when i was so young i didnt think it was... Bad or weird or abnormal.#I started crying when my parents told me to go tell my brothers it was dinner time. I was terrified of knocking on their doors #I still to this day 20 years later am still incredibly uncomfortable and anxious talking with them and i havent been able to make much of #An relationship with them bc of it. Im scared to say anything to them even if its simple shit. And men/boys in general ive thus been #Terrified of since i was young. Once again i thought it was normal to mistrust and be scared of men until i was in my teens #I wish i could hate them i wish i could be angry i wish i had someone to blame #But no my brain is too nice and give excuses to them. Their actions are excused. They have ruined me mentally but thats not their fault #Fuck that might be true but they were still 6 and 11 years older than me. I didnt have a chance to protect myself in any way #I wish someone saw i wasnt okay. I wish someone understood that i wasnt well. I wish someone saw me.#Negative #Abuse

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trans-xianxian · 1 year

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just saw someone say that older siblings are allowed to yell at their younger siblings because they had no say in them being in the family and it's "preparing them to be yelled at in the real world" girl what the fuck are you talking about

#they were like parents shouldn't yell because they chose to have a kid but siblings had no say so its fine #literally die I think #don't yell?? at anyone???#like do you yell at coworkers because you didn't hire them. do you yell at classmates because you didn't choose to be in their class.#the logic is so ridiculously stupid 'you cam verbally abuse people if you didn't choose for them to be in your life' go fuck yourself #also I hate the 'you can be bad to children because its preparing them for The Real World' thing #well I can knock you out because its preparing you for death.#can't even articulate why the In The Real World argument is stupid right now but you all get it #also how often does this person just get yelled at by randos in The Real World????#also also the idea that we should normalize yelling to children so that thrh think its a normal way to be treated. die.#anyway this one single comment by a stranger on the internet has filled me with an unbelievable rage #and it was in response to someone being like once as a teenage I yelled at my 2 year old sister and I still feel bad about it #HOW IS YOUR RESPONSE TO THAT SCENARIO OH ITS OKAY OLDER SIBLINGS ARE ALLOWED TO YELL AT THEIR YOUNGER SIBLINGS #like. What #anyway don't yell at anyone please #ghost posts #text

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nemofil · 5 months

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this victory was clawed by the skin of my teeth

#I'M PROUD BUT ALSO LIKE... damn i could cut down on that time for sure #mainly because 90% of it was me panicking and taking way too long on some rooms LMAO #REJOICE I DID NOT DIE TO PANOPTICON #while i'm at it CALL OUT POST FOR FLESH TUNNEL ROOM!!!#LIMITING MY MOVEMENT LIKE THAT #I KEEP GETTING KNOCKED INTO THE FLESH CEILING #AT THIS POINT OKAY #I CAN ACCEPT A DEATH TO THE DOUBLE MINDFLAYER ROOM #but dying to the flesh tunnel is. aughhh i hate that room i hate how it perfectly counters my playstyle #i guess my next goal would be to cut down on my time because goddamn. what the hell #ME WHEN I'VE REACHED THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WANT TO TAKE UP THE BOULDER ONCE MORE

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