#but I also don’t want to bother her
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#I’m having a really hard time atm and I just need to vent somewhere#I’m in so much pain!!!!!! and the scary thing is I know the physical pain is covering up all my trauma stuff#so if I can get to a better place with pain I’m gonna get hit with a bucket load of trauma#and I haven’t had therapy in weeks bc my therapist has been off and I want to message her again to figure out when my next session is#but I also don’t want to bother her#and my disability benefits are being re assessed again and even though I’m actually worse health wise now than the last time I was assessed#I’m still scared they will rule me more able and take money away and then I’d have to appeal and it’s all just fucking the worst#the uk disability benefits system is fucking evil so many people have died bc of it#and I am so screwed without it#if you’ve read this far thank you I hope nice things happen for you#anyway it’s my birthday next week and I’m gonna have one drink and probably watch a Taylor swift tour on the big tv
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Um actually I have something more to say about Kabru and Mithrun’s similarities and relationship.
I think a lot abt how it’s shown a few times how elven culture relies heavily on non-natural ways of doing things, and it’s interesting especially how like our main cast repeats multiple times the three steps to living a long and healthy life. Meanwhile the canaries, the elves, don’t necessarily recognize that stuff as important as it is. I think specifically of the example of Mithrun explaining to Kabru that he has to have medication or a spell otherwise he can’t sleep, to which Kabru tucks him in and gives him a massage which knocks him out cold. His dependency on other methods to fight off insomnia were kinda just in his head, he hadn’t tried anything else. I mean prior to joining the canaries he was fully restrained 90% of the time so ofc a servant would just come in and place a spell for him to sleep every night. And he was like that for years. And then Cithis just replaced all his caretaker servants, then it became her job to make sure he took a pill or listened to her bells every night. I think there’s something there about how there’s a list of stuff Mithrun wasn’t allowed to be around and when he gets separated from the canaries he encounters all of that since Kabru doesn’t know to “protect” Mithrun or restrain him so severely. And it’s interesting because Mithrun doesn’t even seem to have issues with the things, like ofc top on the list was he wasn’t supposed to see goats or sheep. One of the first things he and Kabru eat is barometz. Its something to me that Kabru, who has also suffered so much, takes Mithrun into this dungeon and he has to face head on what’s been bothering him, he has to look his trauma in the eyes. And eat it. He cannot move on until he sees it, understands it, and finally starts talking about himself (“the last desire I had left wasn’t revenge, I wanted the demon to finish me off” “I was scraps left on the plate […] I guess vegetable scraps have their uses too”)
It just seems to me like a more vague and overarching way we see the elven cultural mindset hold him back from properly healing, I don’t think Kabru knew what he was doing at all but the fact of the matter is no one was filtering Mithrun’s view of the world anymore. And while Mithrun believed that didn’t matter to him, nothing mattered, it still made a difference. He was still on the path to moving on, and properly healing, even though he didn’t quite recognize that.
#dungeon meshi#not overtagging this sory#I’ve been having a lotta Mithrun thoughts despite saying i don’t like him very much#</3#not a Kabru/Mithrun shipper just bc I can’t get behind#shipping Kabru with the guy his mom used to be coworkers with#and she also like. oversaw his rehabilitation. for years#but I mean I see the dynamic that fact just bothers me when I consider it myself#do whatever you want. thumbs up emoji#these quotes aren’t exact and there’s no image proofs#this is a messy one I’m literally just getting my thoughts out#this post was originally drafted at like 4am#Cortana send this thing out into the world#also slightly off topic but does#anyone else ever think abt the implications of marcille’s dungeon lord dress being#corseted in a story where body fat shows strength and love of life#the demon gave her a dress that made her appear unnaturally thin. hey can anyone hear me#hello. hey
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I love “I heard your voice too”, but I also love the translation, “Thank you Meryl. It reached me. Your voice”.
It cements the parallel between them as foolhardy, reckless idiots who never give up, as well as makes a neat little call back to the first episode where Meryl ropes him in. Meryl’s voice reached him in time to save him, and Vash’s wire reached her in time to save her from Knives.
#trigun#trigun stampede#vashmeryl#tristamp#vash the stampede#meryl stryfe#it’s about how what vash longs for the most is human connection#but he doesn’t usually make himself available for it#as nai points out because of his guilt#but also because simply put most people don’t ever bother to try#but meryl tries so many times at the risk of her own life#despite vash’s power and self sacrificial tendency she sees him as someone who simply needs a helping hand#and as she’s said before#she doesn’t want to regret anymore and miss the opportunity to protect those dear to her#she’s human but she puts himself out there to help and protect vash#not because vash can’t protect himself but because he won’t#and that’s a theme that rings true for the both of them no matter the timeline manga ‘98 anime and tristamp#and I think that’s just neat#I really love subtle dynamics like that#ships
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say it
Byleth makes Edelgard say swear words.
(~350 words; too stupid to post on ao3)
“‘Shit.’”
“Grotesque.”
“Give it a try.”
“… Shit.”
“Very good. ‘Ass.’”
“That one is easier. I’ve said it before.”
“Then why don’t you say it now?”
“I… er…”
“If it’s so easy, then do it.”
“… Ass.”
“Excellent.”
“Don’t mock me.”
“How about this one? ‘Cunt.’”
“Wh—I actually, um, don’t know what that means.”
“You don’t know ‘cunt’?”
“I don’t know what to tell you, Byleth, it’s simply not in my lexicon.”
“It means va—”
“All right, I understand. The gesture was absolutely unnecessary. I’m astounded at how many words there seem to be for the same thing.”
“If you think that’s bad, you won’t believe how many there are for pe—”
“Well, this has been a fun exercise and hopefully a source of great amusement to you, but I think I’m finished.”
“Wait, wait.”
“No.”
“One more, one more.”
“Mm, no. I don’t think so.”
“Please?”
“… You know it’s not fair of you to give me those eyes.”
“Is that a yes?”
“All right. All right. One more.”
“Yesssss. ‘Fuck.’”
“Byleth!”
“What?! You said one more, and that’s the one to say.”
“I’m—I am not—”
“Please?”
“You can’t pull the same maneuver twice in a minute and expect to succeed. That’s poor strategy.”
“Is it working?”
“… Regrettably, it is.”
“Then it seems like a good strategy to me. Just say it. ‘Fuck.’ It’s easy.”
“It most certainly is not!”
“Try it. Say ‘fuck.’”
“… Fuck.”
“Oh, that’s rich. That’s very good.”
“Are you quite satisfied?”
“Nearly. Now use it in a sentence.”
“Byleth.”
“I’ll give you one. It’ll be easy.”
“I did not—and do not—agree to this!”
“Just repeat after me.”
“No!”
“Say, ‘Byleth, I want you to fuck me.’”
“… Oh.”
“Go on, El. You can do it.”
“… Byleth, I…”
“Keep going.”
“Byleth, I-I want you to… f-fuck me.”
“Good girl. Wasn’t so hard, was it?”
“Less than I—ah—thought it would be.”
“Mm. Well, you’ve certainly earned a reward, haven’t you?”
“Yes, my teacher. Fuck…”
“Aren’t you a fast learner? I’m impressed.”
“If you don’t shut up and kiss me right now, I’m going to start swearing in earnest.”
“Don’t threaten me with a good time, Your Majesty.”
#fe3h#fire emblem#edeleth#edelgard von hresvelg#byleth eisner#ficlet#sterge.rtf#sick of having this knock around in my drafts so now it is loose in the wild#but it’s so dumb that i really don’t want to bother posting it on ao3#if i got an email alert for this i’d be disappointed#besides i’m trying to pretend i’m hard at work on the vickyvesties right now#it’s not crack it’s just goofy#theoretically this takes place during the honeymoon phase of chapter 5 of shared space#since edelgard knows her swears by the time of muscle memory/shared space chapter 9#edelgard’s combination teacher/praise thing is truly unfortunate but what can you do. sometimes a girl is a gotdam mess#it’s not weird unless you make it weird. but she makes it weird.#i think sometimes (like here) she drops a ‘my teacher’ accidentally and byleth politely pretends not to notice#because if she Did call attention to it edelgard would be mortified and that would be the end of whatever fun things they’re doing#frankly no one deserves to say fuck more than edelgard#but with that giant stick up her ass she’d have a hard time getting around to it without some goading#i also hc that dropping honorifics is generally a Huge Turnoff for edelgard due to power dynamic shenanigans#their relationship is Complicated Enough in canon before i fucked it up more in shared space lol#so byleth is really asking for trouble here#but i also reckon ‘my teacher’ is a vibekiller for byleth so if anything they’re just riling each other up now#godspeed girls. hope you shut up long enough to get some
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i got your back, if you got mine
a bunch of doodles about an idea of mine
#my art#ieytd#i expect you to die#agent phoenix#roxana prism#basically by sheer chance of luck prism finds herself at the doorstep of the phoenix#to where they take her in and hang out for a month or two#they get to learn. more about one another#humanizing the phoenix in a sense#get closer yknow#and do home brain surgery (half)joke#i’m bad at explaining this but yknowww anyone can ask about :]]c#i also think rox would tap a lot which bothers phoenix Idk i’m dealing with the horrors(sounds i don’t like)#FORGOT TO SAY this is a fic i want to write. eventually#i Dont write though so we’ll see how it goes
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“LmO stop! Dabi look nothing like that ugly Enji.”
Also canon Dabi:
I can do a lot more but that’s enough. I mean i still don’t understand why ppl say that his own kids look nothing like him like HOW? Dabi literally got his nose, eyes and his lips (like how they rise the side of their upper lip up when they r mocking someone) shoto also look like them (same eyes and nose) but I’ll just do Dabi since yall say he doesn’t 💀
#ppl be saying only natsu but natsu has his mother’s eyes and noes but yea his father’s built that also Shoto is going to have soon#fuyumi is a copy and paste of rei yes but the other kids are mix#shoto and dabi look more like enji than rei#i said what i said#shoto and dabi only got rei’s round face yes and thank god they did#other than that I’m glad they only got her round face lol#enjis eyes are sharp shaped and shoto and dabi got that from hkm#anyway rei stans and enji haters leave me alone with that lil brain of yours#I just said the facts and ik facts bothers ppl#ik yall hate enji and don’t want to say the kids look like him bc he’s an abuser but yoo so is rei she’s literally no better than him 💀#anyway tags#dabi#touya#todoroki#shoto#enji#rei#natsuo#fuyumi#bnha#boku no hero academia#mha#my hero academia#touya todoroki#bnha dabi#dabi is a todoroki#endeavor#oh baby touya has round eyes like rei so yea he used to look like her but when he become a teenager he started to look more like enji
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*breathes in and out through mouth* everyone is scared and grieving and still waiting for news of their families everyone is scared and grieving everyone is scared and grieving*
#Jewish communal leader hurt me very and I mean VE TU deeply today#I mean very#I think in what was to her mind a not passive aggressive way she felt the need to explain the Israeli Side and Israeli history#But like the nail in the coffin was implying that I don’t feel as deeply for the people in Israel#I don’t understand the depth of suffering of the people in Israel#Because I was bothered on Saturday zoom Torah by how Netanyahu has used this for more war crimes#That the fact that I care about Gazans means I don’t feel enough grief or a normal Jewish grief as she sees it for Jews#To me this is jsut unconscionably cruel#Also that the majority of Jews don’t support a ceasefire or at least local Jews#Well if that’s true I want no part of it. Not now or ever again#I can’t believe she felt the need to like. Explain the news cycle to me#I didn’t get this off a tiktok ma’am#I read yo@v g@llant in fucking haaretz. I heard what he said#*no one in Israel is calling for mass death* clearly they are#Anyway she told it was whataboutism to care about the reprisals on a civillians population from what Hamas did#And to feel better being part of a community or doing soemthing active. Maybe read this book on feminism I’ve already read#I’m just so hurt by it all!#Telling another Jew they don’t feel or care enough for ‘am yisrael is the deepest cut there is
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(JJK 236 spoilers/leaks)
now that there’s been a main character sacrifice this means nobara can come back!
#all these theories on how gojo isn’t dead when I haven’t forgotten how nobara is quite literally suspended in her state#like if ANY character has a return that’s set up it’s her 😭#I’m so sad over gojo but I need all the kids to be able to move forward and actually change things#and for all I love gojo he WAS a complicated character#and he tried but also he was stuck in a place where his strength kind of contradicted the future he wanted#don’t get me wrong I would’ve been ok w him surviving but losing his technique/energy#since that’s interesting as hell too imo#but I just think if anyone deserves a whole comeback it’s nobara ahfjdjdjjf#jjk spoilers#jjk 236#also nobara returning would heal me#idc for anyone who says she should stay dead idc idc#I think the writing left it very open even if that was just gege not knowing what to do w her#so it literally would Not bother me writing wise if she came back#yea the wait for the reveal was toooo long but I would be 100000000000% ok and unbeliably happy about it 😃#yesI’m making gojo dying about nobara. I’m trying to move on (still devastated over gojo rip)#jujutsu kaisen#kugisaki nobara#gojo satoru
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I think Aziraphale and Crowley should be put in charge of this time finding the reincarnation of Jesus and nudging him to the right path to complete his mission on Earth, because maybe that’s the only oportunity they’ve got to once and for all stop all attempts of Heaven and Hell destroying the world.
Except that Jesus’ reincarnation happens to be a she, not a he.
Jessie would be a struggling college student who found a part time job at Nina’s coffee shop, lip and ears pierced, a couple of tattoos, a bit moody, androgynous haircut, with a bunch of daddy and mommy issues ever since she found out she was adopted. Oh, yes, and she also happens to be an atheist LMAO.
Like, just imagine Aziraphale’s face when he finds out that of all people on Earth, the one that’s the reincarnation of Jesus himself happens to be an atheist? He would collapse right then and there. Meanwhile Crowley simply grins approvingly in a “fuck the system” way.
#obsessed with this headcanon i will hold it near my heart forever#aziraphale and crowley now having to deal with this ‘alternative’ kid to save the world#but then they grow fond of jessie and jessie of them and they turn into a very odd and dysfunctional found family#but just as it happened before jessie as the reincarnation of jesus has to give her life for humanity and now there’s a conflict and#it all goes to shit when jessie finds out that was the plan all along and that aziraphale and crowley aren’t her friends they are just#using her but it’s not like that anymore bc aziraphale and crowley don’t want to do the mission anymore but the world’s safety is at risk#and it’s all a huge mess#also jessie and adam meeting and bonding over how their parents dumped them onto the world with a so called mission but couldn’t be bothered#with a phone call for not even one birthday the assholes LMAO#good omens#ineffable husbands#aziraphale#crowley#aziracrow#good omens 2#my headcanons
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im thinking about clara’s ending, though. like, on a very self-indulgent level, i do enjoy that she gets to live (kind of) and time travel and get an immortal girlfriend to do it with. but on another level, i’m kind of curious… why? given how much emphasis this episode and the last put on how clara herself made her choice and didn’t want the doctor to go through all of this to bring her back, i mean she’s horrified by it, both for his sake but also for the sake of her own memory that was used to bring him to this point. and then, of course, the exchange at the end with Me and the Doctor, “summer can’t last forever” “it can if you have a time machine”, that is so obviously meant to be this desperate, denying plea from the doctor to a universe that can’t care about the time he wants because it doesn’t even have enough for itself to keep living, and an immortal who has all the time in the world and can’t even remember all of it, even remember herself most of the time.
which. it’s just odd, then. that the episode ends with clara getting to have that forever summer. you’d think it goes both ways, not just that the doctor can’t run forever but neither can clara. she says they’ll be going back to gallifrey eventually, but words are a bit cheap against her literally running away with the last second of her life in a time machine. (and uh. given what eventually happens to gallifrey. lol. lmao. girl no one is putting u back there ever.)
i don’t think i’d call this a criticism exactly. just a strange choice to make, that the ending there seems completely at odds with everything else Heaven Sent/Hell Bent have been about. that this grief and denial are so destructive, and to no one more than themselves. but then clara escapes through a loophole anyway.
#like. i don’t want clara dead. don’t get me wrong i love clara.#but. her not being dead does make the ending a bit. weird? at odds with the rest of the episode.#because this is about grief. this is about how you can’t escape loss. there is no loophole in death.#except that. there is. and clara takes it. and she’s fine now.#like on the doctor’s end of things. emotionally this is still as impactful because he cannot get her back and never will.#but as an audience we know clara is. fine. she’s just fine. she got the forever summer.#idk! the dissonance is shaking me esp when the rest of the episode duo are so coherently painfully understanding about what they’re about#and then there’s also the other line from Me about how the doctor had no right to rewrite clara’s choice to face the raven. to rewrite *her*#so that he wouldn’t have to face his own grief. but clara ends this story rewritten. clara ends as the person the doctor made her so that#it wouldn’t hurt as much. clara does not have to face the raven.#like. the episodes are so good that this one bit is a whatever detail but it is. idk. its bothering me.#doctor who#clara oswald
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she was supposed to come over yesterday but blew me off for her other cousins m then spent most of today w them n her dads picking her up early as hell tomorrow :/
#Kinda upset bc I wanted to actually spend time w her#also she’s been on the phone w her boyfriend the whole time she been here#seriously no one else does this when they come over#Makes me feel like she doesn’t really want to be here like why bother if your gonna ignore me for your bf the whole time#and maybe I’m just being bitter or smthn but if you go to hang out w someone don’t be on your phone the whole time 🤨#screaming
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She got a pet rabbit.
#the hand has nothing to do with anything#I just didn’t want to crop it out because that also crop off some of her hair#it actually belongs to an oc so just don’t bother with it#springtrap#springtrap fanart#fnaf vanessa#fnaf vanny#I guess#vanessa fanart#not vanny fanart#welllllll#maybe#gaming art#fnaf fanart#man I wish I had my digital art supplies#maybe tomorrow
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A winter-y veilspun!
#also wanted to say thank you to everyone sending me kind messages after my last post!#it sucks that people like that person exist and decide that it’s fine to bully people#it’s also just concerning she’s going after kids?#her comments on my art don’t bother me as I’m an adult and can walk this sort of thing off#but I’d be disheartened to learn if her nasty comments turned away anyone young and wanting to do art#this community is a wonderful place and I’m glad to be apart of it#I’m not a big blog#but seeing quite a few of you come to my defense and the defense of others was awesome#it shows we’re a tight knit group and I love all of you#putting this all down as tags so you guys can reblog without having to include that certain person lol#flight rising#dragon#dragons#fr veilspun
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Encanto fans put in the tags what immediately takes you out of an encanto fanfic! Besides incest and pedophilia that is. We all know that’s a given.
#for me any work that shows isabela being romantically or sexually interested in men is something i instantly pass on#isabela being aroace is cool to me tho#also any fic in which mirabel and camilo are twins#y’all…they’re not twins they’re simply cousins#and that’s okay#they don’t have to be joined at the hip#also fics where isabela cuts her hair#don’t know why it bothers me it just does oh wait i do know why#because wanting to be her own person her own free independent self outside of alma’s expectations#must mean that she wants to shed her femininity as well#obviously long hair does not always equal femininity and short hair does not always equal masculinity#but that’s how it’s seen by the people who write these fanfics so miss me with that#anyway that’s pretty much it#oh and homophobic alma fics of course
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i’m bored and that should be illegal
#i was character designing like a mad man for 2 weeks straight#and now i’ve run out of fuel#and my best friend is AWAY so i can’t BOTHER her. a literal hate crime#and also i have a huge exam that im procrastinating studying for so#maybe i need to up my antidepressants again#anyone wanna rant to me about their interests? no one? god please help me#and i can’t sit through emenis blue (my friend wants me to watch it) and i have literally no excuse for not watching it#sorry for ranting in the tags… oh wait no i’m not#my dog is on my lap and i don’t want to move her but i’m also so unbearably warm#her and i have been sleeping all day we’re besties
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Fabulous Furball meets Intergalactic Hairy Spoon!
(I needed something to help me relax at work, so I drew up this WoY x ATAB crossover art. I feel like Wander and Furlecia - and heck, Wander and Arlo too - would get along pretty well!)
#my art#arlo the alligator boy#wander over yonder#silly stuff#don’t worry Arlo’s not bothering Syl TOO much there in the background lol#I just really wanted to include the gator boy#I also imagine Furlecia offering to style Syl’s hair next and Syl just being like ‘thanks but nah’#can’t see her being nearly as into the salon experience as Wander would be
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