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#btw sorry these look like ass u see I saw the official trailer and then a demon possessed me and I slammed my head against my tablet seve
blended-ice · 11 months
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arrested for excessive public displays of nudity while inebriated
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baeshijima · 3 years
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𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐫!𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐝 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫!𝐲/𝐧
MASTERLIST
now, childe as a general streamer,,, he’s a whale in every sense of the word 
poggers—
so childe as a streamer in general would be one word ;
✨chaotic✨
he would definitely be a variety streamer, but more so for games !!
especially pvp and/or pve games
competitive meta mf—
probably plays LoL, overwatch, apex legends, valorant and minecraft
don’t question the minecraft 
he likes mining but has a personal vendetta against the creepers bc once they blew up his mansion 
yes, a mansion
ask any of his community and they’ll tell u he spent a full-blown month and a half playing just minecraft to build it, only for it to go down just like that ;-; 
his chat loved it tho <//3
he’s played honkai too !! mainly for the pve and grinding bc he’s a whale but uh,,, shhh
his community,,, his community are just a bunch of trolls at this point i cant even lie
they just KEKW, SADGE & COPIUM spam everything and the newer viewers get intimidated until they realise he deserves them all HJGKJHF
especially when he starts getting annoyed by the game,,, his reactions are too good to pass up on gn
typically when he does mario kart streams 👩‍🦯 that shit’s wild when it happens oh my
when he falls in rainbow road 🤡 
and especially bc he has his webcam on, his viewers just see him internally dying or wanting to scream
also gets passive aggressive 
shit talks everything and everyone when in that mood <//3
for what’s left of his dignity i won’t disclose what happens
definitely gets jebaited a lot too <//3 unfortunately he’s too easy for his chat ;-;
another mf with a massive community except he has a lot of friends (sorry not sorry albedo)
ppl have a love-hate relationship with him tbh; u either love him or hate him
no inbetween
unless u show ur love through bullying him then go off ig
his discord server, twt + yt are also really big too !! also verified on insta 
also !!
he has lots of plushies :(( esp whale plushies from his community bc he’s the biggest whale they know <//3
but if u look at his setup, there’s a mini whale plushie on the top of his main monitor (he has 3), one big one (like,,, up to his chin) behind him, a smol on the top of his chair so u can see it above his head, and just more off screen HKJSDHL
they asked for a room tour once and half of it was just whale plushies
the rest were LED lights + shelves of merch & gifts from his community !!
he even has some fanmail (actual wholesome ones that aren’t cursed) pinned on a board too 🥺
also has an ensuite—
when he was eating on stream one time, his chat was sent into an absolute outrage
u know why?
bc he was eating noodles with a fork
bby ;-;
so sometimes he’ll get sent those beginner chopsticks with the finger guides to help him 👩‍🦯
he’s actually made sure to eat with them on stream tho bc he was sent one with a narwhal on top and he thinks it’s cute JHGJKH
nOW ONTO THIS MAN BEING WHIPPED FOR U AS A GENSHIN STREAMER !!!!
herkekle
now, his (also) AR56 ass has been playing since genshin first came out
an og if u will
this man,,, he’s been in love with u even before the game’s official release 🐥
not only were u in the promotional art and trailers, but he was also one of the beta testers so he got to try out ur character first hand in the early stages !!
and when i say he fell hard for u,
i mean it 
when the game wasn’t released publicly yet, he wasn’t allowed to disclose any information and ngl, it killed him that he couldn’t talk abt u :((
so all he could do was say this upcoming was really nice so far and subtly brag abt u to everyone JHGKJSDFHLK
when the official ads & promotional art were finally released 🥺🥺 when i tell u he immediately went live talking abt the game and u HKGJHFDK
he didn’t care that he streamed at an ungodly hour bc he’s been waiting for the reveal for so long he needs to let everyone know </3
he retweeted everything from their official twt straightaway, made a yt video based off his spontaneous stream promoting the game + pinged his entire server abt it
yes
his nearly 200k server all got pinged abt this one game bc he’s in love with a character from it
and he has no regrets abt it <33
the day the game was available for download, he stREAMED THE ENTIRE DOWNLOAD PROCESS
while he and his chat were waiting, they decided to watch the trailers and character showcases to get a feel for the game, and played some mario kart to pass the time !!
as soon as the game loaded, he threw mario kart behind him and went on 🐥
he typed his name (ajax) for the when he chose aether and literally everyone was appreciating the aesthetics HKJFS
but childe,,, he was waiting for it to be over so he could see u ;-;
he appreciated the aesthetics, fighting mechanics & voice acting a lot tho !!
now he had gotten through all the tutorials, got all the chests he could he was finally in mond
and there u were 🥺 after the dvalin encounter u arrived before kaeya did
and boy did he show u off sm to his viewers HKJHKLF
they knew he was down bad before but now?? they know it’s hopeless to save him and if he ever falls out of love that’s when the world ends
luckily that’ll never happen tho <33
but he took !! so many !! screenshots !!
oh, and did i mention he changed his wallpapers to u? and his twt + discord pfps are also some very aesthetic screenshots of u from that first scene ;-;
he just appreciates u sm okay 🥺
he even clutched his chest where his heart is and sunk down his chair when he heard u speak 😩
his chat just spammed his downbad + y/nlove + SHRIMP emotes and he accepted them all with grace <33
now when he unlocks the wishing feature,,, u already know he’s wishing for u as soon as possible
ur in the standard banner so ur always there which he appreciates but he would’ve wanted u to be limited so he can rub it in ppl’s faces ;-;
and since it was the first release rewards, he had tons of wishes right off the bat !!
he was gonna roll for venti after he gets u bc,,, well does he need a reason??
also he doesn’t do well with archer characters in general ;;; but if ur an archer then ur obv an exception sooo
bUT he got a 5 star in his first 20 pulls !!
tho it was diluc 👩‍🦯
while he was happy bc he got an incredibly meta character right off the bat,
he wasn’t interested in diluc,,, (even now his diluc is barely looked after, and only used for spiral abyss, *sweats*)
the next 5 star he got was around the 60 mark, and he got a weapon,,,
i mean,,, he got the weapon that was most suited for u so that’s smth at least (ˉ▽ˉ;)
after he used all his remaining primos and fates, he finally got u 🥺
he just went “fuck the storyline” and immediately put u in his party and just
admired u as a whole 
went through all the voice lines available, ur character story, ur idle animations (he had a heart attack from u and his chat clipped it) and took many, many screenshots 
his favourite voice lines would have to be the night + about us + (y/n)’s hobbies
and then he equipped u with ur weapon and damnnn did u look so good with it 😩
he changed u to be his avatar, with his signature as :
“(y/n)’s whale <3”
and now the whaling process begins 👩‍🦯
after at least £2k, he got u to c6, along with at least 1 copy of all the standard 5 stars,,
then he went for venti’s banner—
his chat were just too focused on how he’s gonna play u to even think of anything else tbh HKJAH
with ur kit, u were honestly seen to be a dps or even a sub dps if ppl don’t want u on the field all the time
so definitely a perfect character for mr meta strimmer tartaglia (his twitch name btw ;;; childe is just smth he prefers his community to call him as but they also call him ajax too HKJSD) here
so he went through the archon quests with u as his carry and i won’t lie, ur name card is smth he has printed and framed behind him after he got it 🥺
he later finds out ur part of the fatui in the liyue archon quest tho and has to fight u with,,,
well, u ;;;
he finds it hot tho so it’s okay—
i won’t lie tho, his zhongli after he got him is his second strongest after u
he just builds all his characters in the most broken way he can so he can show his viewers that everyone can be a dps in their own right, not just the ones meant to be since there’s no right or wrong in this game !!
but now ur weapon is r5, ur lvl 90 and u have lvl 20 5 star artifacts that make u the most broken (y/n) seen
ppl who co op with him are honestly baffled,,, especially when the feature of them being able to view other players’ character stats become available,,,
u with ur nearly 3k atk,,,
he’s hit over 600k with u tho and he’ll always flex that
no one can top him as a (y/n) main and that’s honestly just a fact at this point 😩
when he saw that the dating sim hangouts was official, his immediate and iconic response was simply ;
“so when will (y/n) become a dateable, huh 🤨”
to this day he’s still waiting to be able to date u in-game <//3
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