CAMILLE HYDE via TikTok

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ep 15:

so hold the fuck on....... theyre now blaming jehee for that rapist bastards injury/death????????????????????????????? joonho is gonna eat someone alive 

see from an non-korean speakers pov i cannot tell if the acting in this show is really good or not but i know damn well hanyang’s actor is just acting with his ENTIRE SOUL. i KNOW hes good

i cant belive they didnt let minchul out ?!??!! jehyeok is fuckin plotting rn i can tell 

jehyeok is such a sweetheart :(( nd joonho clearly wanted to go after paeng i cant wait to see char dev there

slightly unrelated but ZICO AND MINO HAVE A TRACK ON THE OST??? YASSSS

i forget this guys name the junior officer,,, “maybe captain na has a past we dont know about” mood mood mood mood

 na hyeongsu... ok noted

NOOOO HANYANGS LITTLE HEART ON THE WINDOW.... AHFVAGHDHS I LOVE HIM SMMMMMMM

OHHHHHHH i knew she was minchul’s daughter !!! i knew it !!!! oh im so 💔💔💔

hanyang. hanyang no. hanyang, i am  begging on my fucking knees right now dont. dont fuckign. dont fuckign do ot. hanyang plkease.... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO imma just end it i think. JIWON HAD A RING FOR HIM MAND EVERYTING NO literally im gonna bring about the end of fucking days i cant stand this hsit anymore i cant i cant i cant LET THE GAYS FUCKING WIN PLEASE 

the shit is hitting the fan too hard for there to only be 2 hours left of content 

ohhh ok i see false alarm some ppl just dont like seeing a girlboss like jehee winning shes fine. but gottamb she did not commit to that kiss like at all bro. girlie please thats joonho right there. id be climbing him like a tree bestie

no please enough homophobia in this episode i dont feel like seeing jiho and jehyeok gawk at eachoother. im tired. 

oof. off to a bad start w jiho. tsundere ass bitch i h8 u. can i skip this flash back. please. im putting it on speed 2 i rllt dgaf ab their silly little rings.  ok its the cheek pinch. ill accept  that .

minchul is actually getting the christmas pardon 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 pls paeng is so so happy i love them sm  TYHEYRE ALL SO HAPPY PLEASLPELAPSLE IM GONNA CRYYYYYYY !!!!!!!!!!! JEHYEOK HUGGING HIM AND CRYING????? PLEASE IM GONNA DISSOLVE 

good lord that better not backfire on jungwoo.... like mans deserved that punch but that was pretty public,................

ok jiho spit some facts for once in her fucking life,,,, and +1 for calling him good boy ig,, he got so flustered plsss

jesus god joonho where are you walking so intensely OH GOD OH FUCK NOOOOOOOOOOOOO JAILBIRD NOOOO HE GOT JEBAITED BY THAT FUCKIGN WOODSHOP CHIEF YEOM BASTARD ISTGGGGG jehyeok is literally gonna commit a crime godspeed and godbless 

CHOJI, SHIKAMARU, LEE, GAARA & HINATA!! ITS A LOT IM SORRY

THANK U FOR THIS...admittedly some answers may be a lil short just so i can like. Get to them all.

EDIT: IDK WHY IT LOOKS LIKE THIS. IM SO TIRED. IM SORRY ITS JUST A LONGASS NARUTO POST ON YOUR DASH I TRIED MY FUCKIN BEST YALL

SEND ME A CHARACTER AND I’LL DO THIS;

Chouji (man i’ve seen it spelled both ways and i’m just used to typing Chouji at this point sorry)

Sexuality Headcanon: Pansexual!!  Gender Headcanon: Cis male A ship I have with said character: SHIKAMARU. SHIKAMARU. SHIKAMARU. SHIKAMARUUUU, my god...just, everything about their dynamic makes my heart melt, the way they’re both people who are easily dismissed by others and how they have such UNFALTERING FAITH in each other. chouji knows how much of a genius shikamaru is, knows very well the fact that despite his laziness, once he commits to something he’s in it for the LONG HAUL, the way shikamaru just believes so steadfastly in chouji, considering him stronger than NEJI FOR FUCKS SAKE...they like. get one another, the kind of relationship where you can be yakking away one minute and then just sitting in contented silence the next. they can just laze around. maybe play video games and snack. and sometimes...kiss. and it’s so chill even with that latent tenderness their later relationship develops and they both just feel so safe and KNOWN and familiar like. love your best friend. anyway everyone slept on shikacho and y’all should be ashamed the naruto fandom is enormous and finding pretty much ANY content for it is almost impossible aside from the small (if lovely and amazing) tag and i’m pretty hyperfixated on it if you couldn’t tell holy SHIT.  A BROTP I have with said character: i’m really not a fan of ino taking potshots at him for his weight and outright shaming him, but once she grows out of that i absolutely love their friendship. listen, you know that post thats like--hold on

thats just them, thanks. A NOTP I have with said character: i have nothing against karui but canon is fucking dead to me and my opinions on p much all the “endgame” ships range from utterly neutral to absolute loathing. their relationship is on neither end of the spectrum, but. eh. definitely not into it. A random headcanon: he keeps nursing injured animals back to health because he’s just that fucking sweet and bringing them back to his house to keep them warm and safe while they recover and his team knows vaguely about this and ino and shikamaru like to poke fun at him for it but since they don’t tend to encounter said animals, it’s not really a huge deal.

of course they stop by his house one day bc he hadn’t shown up for training which is annoying and frankly a little concerning and finding the house mostly empty ino just bursts on into chouji’s room only to immediately have the opossum he’s been caring for latch its little paws on her face and cling.

it’s a bad morning. General Opinion over said character: literally one of my absolute favorites of all time and it really breaks my heart how overlooked he is in the fandom (seriously y’all...). i think kishimoto is kind of a stupid hack and the Fat Jokes are really grating and it sucks to see that so intrinsically tied to his character (like. just let him be fat. jesus christ) but his kindness and overall relaxed, loyal and lovable nature has me just melting. i adore him. 

Shikamaru

Sexuality Headcanon: He’s gay, scoob. (I could also talk a lot about how his earlier misogyny is both a product of being a whiny tween and also some internalized frustration of like WHATS SO GREAT ABOUT GIRLS. UGH. I DONT. STOP TELLING ME IM GONNA FALL IN LOVE WITH ONE ONE DAY DAD JESUS. and let’s be real, thats frustrating, even if it aint an excuse)  Gender Headcanon: he uses he/him pronouns because it’s just what he’s used to and comfortable with but man gender is such a drag... A ship I have with said character: SEE ABOVE SHIKACHO RANT A BROTP I have with said character: naruto! he and naruto have a really adorable friendship and i love love LOVE that he and chouji were shown to be kind and accepting of him even when most people were shunning him. also he’s so fucking dumb i love seeing shikamaru meticulously plan out something only to have naruto shriek into battle and ruin all of it. love those guys. stupid bros.  A NOTP I have with said character: ok. im sorry i just. loathe sh*katema i really do. i haaaate the way kishimoto writes this whole “ew a GIRL” “ew a MAN” vibe with the like OOOH BUT THEYRE GONNA LIKE EACH OTHER vibe like. 

don’t get me wrong i adore them as friends, i think they’re fantastic scathing and witty pals who bitch about anything and everything including each other

but they’re also both gay and kishimoto can suck my nuts byeeee A random headcanon: sometimes pakkun just fucking Shows up and chills with him. shikamaru wants absolutely no part of this but is way too lazy to like. do anything about it so it’s just this guy and a dog sitting in a field chillin and occasionally him piping up like ‘hey kid. remember when i bit your hand? yeah? haha, man time sure does fly.” while shikamaru is just. go aWAY.   General Opinion over said character: if you told 9 year old me watching naruto for the first time my favs were gonna be a three way tie of lee, shikamaru and chouji i never would have fucking believed you but here we are. i love him. i absolutely love him. he’s such a whiny bastard and a really good depiction of burnout genius who doesnt want to do ANYTHING, but his intellect is an absolute DELIGHT to watch. i love him very much. 

Lee

Sexuality Headcanon: he’s pan!! this is a boy that crushes easily and crushes hard on just about anyone!!!! Gender Headcanon: cis male A ship I have with said character: ok i ship him a lot with neji actually? what with how neji grows during the course of the series to regard lee with the respect he deserves is really sweet and there’s just something so infinitely adorable about him going around being the hammiest, most ridiculously earnest, kind and enthusiastic person and neji, now that he isn’t constantly bitter and angry at the world can finally really see that? lee is always happily dropkicking his way into his life, like he wouldn’t have it any other way, and i think that’s just...so sweet A BROTP I have with said character: SAKURAAAAA. oh my GOD do i adore their relationship. ever since lee saved her and basically just gave her a glimpse of his...lee-ness, the fact her negative opinion of him IMMEDIATELY flipped and gave her such a strong admiration and fondness for him kills me DEAD. she always treats him with so much respect and the fact she’s quick to rag on anyone making fun of him melts my HEART!! and on lee’s side, his little crush on her is adorable of course, but the sheer strength of the friendship that comes from it is more than infatuation could ever offer him. i want them to hang out together and talk about their troubles...i want them to make each other laugh and be so very kind to each other...i want sakura to storm over and throw him over her shoulder to TAKE A BREAK ALREADY when he’s been training too hard for too long. god. A NOTP I have with said character: honestly i’m pretty happy with a lot of lee ships! the only ones i view with obvious disdain are the ones with creepy age gaps honestly. A random headcanon: out of everyone in the leaf genin, he’s probably the closest anyone’s ever come to someone who EVERYONE is at least distantly friendly towards. like god have you SEEN how warm and inviting and concerned he is the SECOND he sees that naruto is feeling down? i get the sense he’s immediately inclined to provide that kind of support to any of his comrades, even the ones that Resist it.

you think sasuke is the most popular among the leaf genin? puh-LEASE. everyone looks on rock lee with at least a LITTLE bit of warmth. thats just fact. General Opinion over said character: since my first viewing of naruto he has been my Absolute fav, and while chouji and shikamaru are veeery close to stealing that spot, one look at him and i feel he’s gonna be on top forever. probably the best written character kishimoto’s ever produced that’s remained in  the main cast (tho i dont speak for shipudden onwards who fucking knows, but the truth of it is is i adore rock lee)

Gaara

Sexuality Headcanon: Panromantic Asexual Gender Headcanon: kind of like shikamaru, i feel like he uses he/him pronouns but also doesn’t particularly....Care? A ship I have with said character: ok so it wasnt until my naruto rewatch that i really started falling into this but i think him and naruto are super cute? while i loathe kishimoto for ruining so much abt this show he really is good at creating good foils to naruto, and gaara is no exception--and the way naruto changes his life by just kicking his ass (and proving he’s not just a Simp or smth) and then just, extending genuine empathy and a REAL sense of truly relating to where he’s coming from re:his upbringing? the EFFECT it has on him, bro!!!! my god!!! i feel like they’re that opposites attract ship that don’t clash constantly but instead fall into this adorable synergy and understanding? and i think thats so sweet A BROTP I have with said character: ...is it cheating to just put temari and kankuro here? bc they are literally his siblings but my GOD do i love their relationship. there’s something so deeply sad about their initial situation??? like having siblings that either are deeply fucking afraid of you or clearly don’t care for your well being whatsoever, it’s such a tragic scenario, and the times where they really do show legitimate care for gaara just breaks my heart...but the GROWTH. THE DEVELOPMENT. THE HEALING. i love the sand siblings so much, i am a STRONG advocate of seeing the development from estranged family to loving, occasionally bickering siblings who absolutely Love Each Other A NOTP I have with said character: uhhhh same with lee in that i don’t really mind most of the ships i’ve seen him in? while i don’t particularly ship gaalee i think its also Very Cute, and really it all just seems pretty valid as long as people aren’t being creepy? A random headcanon: i’ve been wracking my brain for one for a good 20 minutes and i just don’t have one he’s such a mystery to me/????? i love him but he is an enigma?? General Opinion over said character: oh my god he’s such an edgelord in the beginning. i’ve been doing a lot of this naruto rewatch with my friend @drashseed (a simply phenomenal fella 10/10 follow him) and every single time he talked the only valid response just became “ok gaara”

but his backstory? utterly HEARTWRENCHING. and his growth is just. absolutely divine, i adore him. thank you mister sandman for doing so much for us all.

Hinata

Sexuality Headcanon: Bisexual Gender Headcanon: cis woman A ship I have with said character: listen. i think kibahina is........Really Really cute. he cares about her so MUCH??? and there’s a certain tenderness to his interactions with her that’s just really evident whenever you see em together? i really love that you get the sense hinata is COMFORTABLE around him!!! like! i feel like hinata really deserves to have a partner who sees her when she ISN’T blushing and stammering? when she’s like? legitimately comfortable and being HERSELF? (dgmw the blushing is adorable i fucking love her but its one of the gripes i have with naruhina that so much of it is just naruto being oblivious and her having a small panic attack) the comfort she and kiba have make for a chill, adorable relationship i just cry over constantly A BROTP I have with said character: so i was GONNA put naruto here, but technically i already put him there for shikamaru’s so i’m gonna say neji!!! uhhh OBVIOUSLY they got off to a. very rough start but the way their dynamic changed (or perhaps in a way reverted back to the times they interacted before neji’s father died and temporarily killed his Human Decency) into this respect and fondness that’s just...such a delight to watch? i’m a SUCKER for slow and mutual reconciliation and there are just so many sweet moments between them. they are FAMILY, BRO!!! THEY CARE FOR EACH OTHER, BRO!!!!!!!!!! A NOTP I have with said character: ...at the risk of sounding like a broken record, i think a lot of hinata ships are quite cute? i guess i’m gonna have to say sasuke. because like.

has. he ever even looked at her. please. jesus christ. she deserves so much better. A random headcanon: she is a LOT physically stronger than she looks!! a lot of her combat techniques rely on taijustu after all so it’d make sense that she puts a lot of effort into physical training alongside chakra control.

i’m trying to say she’s strong. not as strong as sakura but. she can lift her bf up over her head (he’s dying hes dying he’s dYING he lOVES HER SO MUCH). it’s pretty fuckign badass

General Opinion over said character: i LOVE her??? honest to god i really really do--honestly while i dislike the direction they went in canon with her, i really loved seeing her be motivated to grow and change the parts of herself she hated to become a stronger person.

that and she’s so fucking cute and sweet and i just??????? bless her honestly.

this guy at school said in front go the whole class "m/n is just gay for the trend" I felt so fucking stupid cause like IM GAY like I promise im VERY gay. essentially all my friends are bi and I came out as bi most recently cause I got bullied last year and I didn't need any other reason to be bullied. that's the reason I didn't come out sooner. anyways im possibly a lesbian and its so confusing and this guy goes on about how he can say what he likes and that im not gay its just for the trend. I was so embarrassed im surprised I didn't full on start sobbing then cause like this whole sexuality thing as been a fuckin struggle and then he goes and says its for a trend

omg im so sorry 💜 

GOD I HATE CISHET MEN..... AND STRAIGHT PEOPLE.. I REALLY DO. i am so so sorry that happened to you. that’s beyond disgusting and unacceptable. like, what the actual fuck?? you obviously know your sexuality way more than some random guy at school jfc 🙄anon i wish there was something i could say to make it better but there really isn’t other than just expressing my sympathy and anger w that situation and telling you please don’t listen to him or anyone else saying that. sexuality can be so complicated and confusing and painful and it’s veryyyy much a journey and one that is like.. lowkey traumatic. sometimes highkey depending on your situation. and i’m glad that it’s becoming more and more normalized and accepted and celebrated but we still have such a massively long way to go.

if it makes you feel any better, i had a thing with these two guys freshman year of college and they also were frat bros. and like... one of them was a friend of mine and the other i ended up having a thing (like very much a thing....yikes) with his ex gf and it was the messiest situation ever but anyway when they found out i was in love w her they called me a LUG (lesbian until graduation) behind my back and kept saying i was just experimenting which was RIDICULOUS bc i have known i liked women since i was 13 and had a previous relationship with a girl before i even met them (as well as other “things” with girls in high school, a crush on my straight friend, and well... glee... so i knew dianna existed by then) anyway FUCK straight men and their nastiness. 

fuck it liveblogging tpoh but putting it in one post so its not annoying (pls read tpoh before reading this post its got so many spoilers) also this is rlly long (http://jolleycomics.com/TPoH/The%20Hook/1)

anyway wow rgb rlly didnt like hero in the beginning eh?

OOOH THIS IS WHERE THE BUTTERFLY COMES FROM I FORGOT IT WAS THIS EARLY

god i love the worldbuilding in this beginning bit like ofc theres lies and doubts and fears like sure!! why not!!! this guys got a tv head!

oh dude rgb dead<3

MADRAS MY BELOVED

"cover ur vents" dude he IS a tv eh. well i know that she takes apart his wiring later but LMAO

rgb hates water<3 i would too if i was a tv. my sona is a tv but has water IN them so... yknow

TOby MY BELOVED HELLOOO

oh yeah the ferrys gone innit

sorry she did what to u TOby??? WHAT???

DIAL HI HI HI HI HI DIAL IL LOVE YOU

i forgot rgb is British. gay little guy who says cheerio and telly

bro her fucking dreams got in his vents oh no

YOOO HIS SUIT CHANGED COLOR AFTER GLITCHING i love this fucking comic

dude she killed that idea OH hi the moth butterfly is back

oh nooo the doubts r here and shes crying nnonoooo

GOD GET HER tHE DOUBTS R GONNA EAT HER ALIVE DAMMIT

OHF UCK THE FEARS ARE BACK AND OH FUCK A GRIEF TOO?!??? FUCK

oh bro the grief fuckin cried on him oh noooo wait isn't this when he goes negative. i think soYEAH IT IS !!! NEGATIVE MY CONFUSING BELOVED

get those fears asses negative wooo !!!! also bye the grief ^_^

oh yeah gotta take him to the tree since he's out of order eh

ASSOK ASSOK ASSOK

oh rgbs outfit changed again. does that when he glitches it seems:) i love it

hero pls just listen to him

assok i LOVE YOUUUU

THE FUCKING TREE MELTED CANT HAVE SHIT IN [whatever this place is called i don't remember rn]

aaand down they go!

OGHHGHH THE IDEA DIAL TOby AND MADRAS ALL SEEING THE TREEEEE YEAHHHHHH

YES THE BIRD I LOVE THE BIRD !!!!

AND MELODY TOO I LOVE THEM BOTH THEYRE GAY <3

poor TOby :(

the fuckin.. god i love this comic. the metaphors for trauma and shit i eat it UP

rgb i love ur puns but please shut up /j

DID SOME FUCKIN SCISSORS COME IN HERE AND CUT OUT THE WIVES ??? WHAT THE FUCK<3 LOOKS COOL AF BUT DIE. WHY ohhh that's why we see them later and they're all wet n shit. the ocean ate them

AWE HERO ILY bye you stinkin butterfly get outta here !!!

OHH I FORGOT HOW COOL THE HEARING IN THE DARK BIT IS !

YES THE MARKET I LOVE THE MARKET I LOVE THE FIGHT SCENE ...

HIS SUIT CHANGD AGAIN CUZ OF THE DIMMING OF HIS BRIGHTNESS I LOVE THIS LORE !!!! ITS SO COOL

wait dial don't u dare throw TOby into the abyss i stg. die dial

oh they rlly are cousins huh. sayin the same thing.. also dial die i hate ur gay little headNNNOOOOOOOO HE DROPPED TOby FUCK YOU DIAL

nooo this is making me sad abt the characters i make and then forget :( i don't want them to be forgotten

CELL ILY

DUDE SHES IRONING HIS FUCKING ARM

god i love hero sm

LMAO RGB GETS HORSESHOES <3

i love the explanations of characters getting outlines n stuff. this is so cooooool

oh goodnight to the market. hi dial fuck you OPH HERES THE WIVES !!

oguh the one sided convo ... spooky

mmmmm don't dream around rgb or no good!! bad !!!! love the bits of lore tho. fuck yeah

oh and his clothes changed again i think! nice!!! i love the suit he's wearing in the recent ones.. really my style

WAHHH HERO LEAVING ASSOK BECAUSE ASSOK WANTS IT.. IM FUCKING. I LOVE HERO SO MUCHHHHHH THEYRE SO NICE... i love this story

this story legit be changing the way i look at other stories . mmm solid outlines my beloved

the fact rgb can just turn up his volume to scream louder<3

AH OFUCK THE DUDES GOT A GUN EH oh yeah his names click. i wonder how many names i can steal from this comic

god rgb so smart :)

click my beloved antagonist

HE JKUST SHOT RGB WHAT THE FUCK. SHOT HIM W REDACTED TOO?::?W AHT THE FUCK CLICK

god i love this bit. hero can shoot him or not. he's muted he cant defend himself. its so good oh my god. rgb accepts it too.. he takes his hat off expecting to die oh my god. i love this bit SO MUCHH

the fuckin.. "what do heroes do to monsters?" "SAVE THEM!" LIKE YEAH HERO I LOV EYOU

n then rgb is banned (rightly but how do they get assok back??) and hero becomes his keeper i love this. i fucking love all the chapters in the market

"did you ever forgive me?" "did you want me to?" "...no" "oh, well, that's too bad" HELLO? WHAT!

ogoh and clicks eye(??) falling into the market.... checkovs gun innit

madras lore yesss

all my homies love the world of make believe :)

ah fuck the trees are gone oh this is fuck

I KNEW SHE GAVE HER FINGERS TRAIN

oooh so rgb was a writer? or a comic artist or something???????? cooool

LMAO NICE TIMING LOSERS

!!! CANDLE RABBIT

idea loose in the market!!

AH FUCK CLICK IS BACK :I KNEW IT

the idea is a fish now! cool. good on it. love this idea

oh TOby finally hit the bottom huh?

this rabbit is so confusing wtf

3 suns????????? rabbit cmon man you put us way too forward wtf!!

ah yeah rgb is broken eh? getting close to the end

SHE FOUND ANOTHER BIT OF THE FUCKING SUN? R U KIDDING ME

MELODYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! also lmao julienne melted cuz shes cotton candy :(

LMAO HERO IS MELTING HELP

i love how hero goes from obviously human to ?? that could be a monster!

madras time

fuckers turned off rgbs body cant have shit in make believe

MADRAS NO WHAT DONT LEAVE:(

and they step back!

elastic valley my beloved

i love these pigs sm

hi tg

"because he's *trying*" hero id fuckign die for you

AAAAAAAAAAAND I'm caught up! post time. sorry if u read all of this i have an illness and its called sharing my feelings all the time

THIS ONE is the shit talk post. bc i started volume 7 of the LN and i sure did have issues previous to this but....just oh my god it sucks full offense. Like I know I shouldn't expect particularly skillful prose from an isekai LN written abt bad otome / harem tropes with like zero irony but GOD. spoilers under the cut and its EXTREMELY long apolgies to anyone scrolling by.

My full feeling towards hamefura is great concept, incredibly disappointing execution the futher the plot drags along, and it was never particularly Fantastic to begin with outside of initial “oh fun” vibes. Like def gonna recognize some of the issues w it lie in shall we say constraints of the medium itself, the anime/manga/LN market is a deep trench of capitalist hell i dont wanna wade into too deep, but i do get the importance of grabbing attention off the bat / necessity of having easily recognizable characters. but there are ways to do the above without like, completely destroying all concepts of pacing (the 7 yr timeskip for one), or just completely Reducing yr characters to say 2-3 recognizable traits with zero character development / concern for them outside of convenient gags / plot convenience. but hamefura does both of the above completely ad nauseum and with neither awareness of the irony nor concern

also just gonna get this out of the way, but also the more just. blatant Issues of the series, the fujoshi-ism whenever LGBT stuff is handled At All (so just...generalized ignorance rather than willful, but nonetheless the comments like...kat wanting to “protect her brother from becoming Like That” when she suspects he has a crush on nicole / worry abt the danger of sophia “falls into that hole” when she reads stories with gay people in them. *kermit weed meme* its not all fucking yaoi you stupid fujoshi ALSOOOOO the fucking. new characters introduced in vol 7 and one of them being like...explicitly and unrepentantly a transmisogynist caricature. like BRO???

and ofc there’s the pseudo-incest BS of having keith be completely and unironically treated as a potential love interest to kat, and again w/ new character intros having a 13 yr old included in the ~new love interests~ like...yr killing me. yes you can argue it’s just bc they’re BS anime tropes but that’s exactly why the potential for parody and subversion is so ripe, and to have it just fall into the same pit of ZERO reflection nor examination is just pathetic

Like!! a big draw for me of this kind of isekai, the “the new world im in is a piece of media i consumed from my past life” there’s a lot that could be done with that! and something i basically never see done, not fully, is the ability to oh say...distinguish fact from fiction. take out the anime context of this and all isekai are just a conneticut yankee in king arthur’s court, or dante’s the inferno. the basic plot tends to boil down to: MC gets swept into a new world armed with Secret Knowledge/Ability, and included within this is knowledge of the future and their imminent destruction. the dramatic irony! the self fulfilling prophecy! this is greek tragedy bullshit my dude! fuckin shakespeare or whatever. it has SUCH potential for fun- a hero trying to act against fate but unsure if the future is immutable, that some events will always be preordained? or if their actions will themselves cause their own end, that they could be walking themself blindly into the path of their own ending? listen the potential for introspective development is astounding and we get none of it. like the closest to a soliloquy we get is kat’s inner mind conferences but even then it’s ONLY for humor, and i love the humor dont get me wrong, but it’s just totally unbalanced for some of the content included (like...including the doom and destruction as a fun backdrop but they RLY continuously use the same child abuse/murder/misogyny/kidnapping plotlines ((fucking the thing with nicole?? i still havent processed that actually but im PISSED.)), reiterating these things absolute ad nauseum with ZERO respect for any of the characters they then place in these situations. not even in just this way the worldbuilding is just so haphazard and strung together with paper clips it rly feels. like im all abt throwing logic out the window to make something fun happen but...it seems like its only ever done to make things Edgier or Worse somehow....pls pick the tone you wanna set and have some damn consistency.)

also in that vein they rly cross a line with raphael’s character for all that they make the PERFECT narrative foil to katarina and having him be relevant ONCE before completely sidelining hm literally i have SOOO much to say abt raphael it makes me want to go absolutely crazy. i wanna throw bricks through peoples windows.

 also, re the LN, the prose just str8 up sucks. i get no LN is ever particularly great with the combination of amateur authors being put through the washer of amateur translations to then be posted on sketchy bootleg websites, but even then. it’s just...tirelessly repetitive, in gags and dialogue, in katarina having the exact same priorities and character and awareness she had age (8-but-kind-of-a-teen-also) to the modernity of (almost-an-adult-and-past-the-climax-she-built-up-in-her-head-for-almost-a-decade). also having Real Things happen, like gerald and (ugh) keith’s confessions and...not even putting them on the backburner so much as just, having them brought up when convenient and no other time. writing katarina with no willingness to be proactive in her own life so she lets things just Happen to her while she herself remains unchanged like....author are you perhaps projecting yr own habits? yr own writing skillz?

there are maybe 40 more things i could complain about on end (raphael, the treatment of kat’s realization of her new doom, the more general worldbuilding issues, the NICOLE THINGGGG, just my own general gripes on how you could very easily make these characters have consistent personalities and developmental arcs/that diatribe i had abt the possibility for exploring metatextual analysis thru Fun Quirky Anime PlotlineTM/once again even more of my #Thots on the missed potential of isekai as a genre at large)

MY LAPTOP IS FUCKED FOR LIKE A MONTH (EXPECT MOBILE UPDATES D:) BUT REAL QUICK BEFORE IM STUCK ON MOBILE I NEEDED TO MAKE THIS POST BC I JUST FINISHED THE LATEST 911 EP AND JUST

SPOILERS AHEAD FOR SEASON 3 EP 12

OK OK So

1. THAT MEXICAN STANDOFF BETWEEN MADDIE AND BUCK IS ALL THE CHAOTIC SIBLING GOOF ENERGY I’VE EVER WANTED THANKU

2. JOSH DESERVES THE WORLD FUCK EVERYONE IM SO MAD

3. KNOCK ON WOOD IF BUDDIE DOESN’T HAPPEN I NEED BUCK TO TREAT JOSH RIGHT (lmao im jk!)

4. BITCH. BITCH. IF MICHAEL DOESN’T GET MAGICALLY BETTER IM THROWING HANDS

6. EDDIE MAKING HEART EYES AT THE (FOOINE ASS) ENGLISH TEACHER. OK. OK. OK. I MEAN. I GET IT. BC SAME. LIKE GADDAMN.

7. “YOU LIED” AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

8. HEN MENTIONING THE NEW BABY AND HER LIL POOPY BUTT----MY HEART IS SO SMILEY

9. CARLA SHOULD BE LISTENED TO MORE OFTEN FOR SHE IS WISER THAN THE REST (im assuming she holds the brain cell most of the time)

10. THAT LAST SCENE. THAT. LAST. SCENE. 

MY LAPTOPS ABOUT TO DIE BUT I NEED TO SAY THIS:

YA’LL CAN’T JUST MENTION BUCK IS SINGLE AS A PRINGLE IN ONE SCENE AND THEN IMMEDIATELY SWITCH TO EDDIE W/ CARLA MEETING A NEW POTENTIAL LOVE INTEREST LIKE THAT????

(SIDE NOTE: u know DAMN well eddie must’ve thought LONG and HARD about asking buck to come w him to the parent teacher thing but then was like “aaahhh that’s too much to put on buck uoregoufijdi” and chickened out last min and carla was like “alright u big baby, lets go”--------but also think of the possibilities??? imagine eddie had gotten the courage to ask him to come and buck is obv touched, like of course bro! that’s what besties are for! so they end up meeting the v hot english teacher and she’s like “edmundo, am i right?” and eddie’s like “<///< wow, how’d u guess” like  he was in the actual scene, and buck cracks a joke about how eddie told him he’d never respond to that name when they first met, and the english teacher flirts a lil w buck, like “oh, and ur name’s buck? that’s a tough one to figure out *super hot person laugh*” and buck’s like “<//< hehe, well, it’s evan actually, but uh, yeah, just call me buck, everyone does” and they actually both end up getting her number at different times (eddie while buck is in the bathroom, and buck while eddie’s getting the car from the parking lot bc even tho his leg is all healed up eddie is still overprotective about buck walking too much on it when he doesn’t need to, at least) and they end up finding out on the car ride home and they both are like “ooh, competition time to win her affection!” and they joke about it casually and are like “welp, may the best man win” and it’s thru ALL the jealousy and bs rivalry that they finally get together when the teacher’s like “uh, it kinda feels like u two would prefer to date each other, than me. all eddie talks about is u, buck, and vice versa.” iugth[ehwvnfdbs cij

AND ALSO FUCK ME SIDEWAYS, BUT BUCK IS SUCH A SASSY BOY---HE REALLY SAID “EDDIE MET SOMEONE SPECIAL BUT HE WENT AND BIT HER HEAD OFF SO SHE’LL PROLLY NEVER TALK TO HIM AGAIN AND ALSO FLUNK HIS KID” WITH A SMILE HGTOGERWSDL SIR WE GET IT, U JEALOUS, CHIIILLLLLLLLLLLLL LMAO

AND ANOTHER THING: IM SO CONVINCED BUCK IS JUST TOTALLY OBLIVIOUS TO HIS FEELINGS, LIKE, HE’S ALL “YUP, THIS IS JUST MY BEST FRIEND, WE TELL EACH OTHER EVERYTHING AND WE’RE NOT GUESTS IN EACH OTHER’S HOMES AND IM PRETTY MUCH COPARENTING HIS SON W HIM, WHO BTW I LOVE AND WOULD DO EVERYTHING IN MY POWER TO PROTECT, AND I HAVE OPENLY ADMITTED I THINK EDDIE IS STUPID HANDSOME AND HE SAID HE DOESN’T TRUST ANYONE MORE THAN ME W HIS ONLY CHILD, I PLANNED A WHOLE CHRISTMAS PARTY V LAST MIN, ALL BC CHRISTOPHER FROWNED SADLY AND I WOULD SIMPLY NOT LET THAT STAND BC HIS HAPPINESS IS MY HAPPINESS AND ALSO I ALWAYS WEAR MY CUTEST (and tightest) SWEATSHIRTS AROUND EDDIE AND OH HEY, CARLA, WOULD U MIND JUST HOLDING THIS PHONE AND FILMING THIS BEAUTIFUL FAMILY MOMENT OF ME, MY FUTURE HUSBAND AND OUR SON WHO I WILL BE ADOPTING ANY FUCKIN DAY NOW SHOWING HIM HOW TO SKATEBOARD? THANKS. ANYWAY, WE JUST BESTIES. :)”

AND EDDIE’S SOMEWHERE IN THE CLOSET HIDING ALL THE BI AND DENYING ALL HIS GAY THOUGHTS ABOUT BUCK. OK BYE.

all the fandom questions for DMC

OH THAT’S NEARLY ALL OF EM LMAO THIS IS GONNA BE A DOOZY

“What OTPs in your fandom(s) do you just not get?”

ok so i know a pretty good portion of the dmc fandom is SUPER on board with nero x kyrie but like??? they’re basically adopted siblings??? and i HATE the adopted sibling romance trope so in my personal dmc canon nero and kyrie do love each other but Only As Siblings

“Are there any popular fandom OTPs you only BroTP?”

again, nero x kyrie! the way i see it, nero sees kyrie as his sister and kyrie sees nero as her brother because nero grew up with her in an environment that would lend to their relationship being more like that of siblings

“Have you ever unfollowed someone over a fandom opinion?”

uuuuhhh yes?? kind of??? they were someone who shipped nero x v, which is a ship im not overly comfortable with myself but that’s all i’ll say on that

“Do you have a NoTP in your fandom? Are they a popular OTP?”

uuuuuuhhhhhh???? i’ve seen a decent amount of fanart of vergil x dante like. come ON they’re BROTHERS stop making them KISS

“Has fandom ever ruined a pairing for you?”

uh? not that i can recall? i used to be on board with nero x kyrie myself but then i remembered that in kyrie’s character description in dmc4 it says her relationship with nero is that of a “brother, friend, and lover all in one” and that’s the fault of capcom themselves for describing the relationship that way, not necessarily the fandom’s fault

“Most disliked character(s)? Why?”

none i like all of them they’re all amazing

except arkham. absolute garbage dad in dmc3, lady deserved a better father than him

“Most disliked arc? Why?”

hm. im not really sure? i think all of the main characters have pretty decent arcs tbh

“Is there an unpopular character you like that the fandom doesn’t? Why?”

are there any unpopular characters in the dmc fandom??? i have no idea. i’ve seen a little bit of hate for nero (mostly in youtube comments) but idk if that counts. if it does, fuck those people nero’s baby and i adore him

“Is there an unpopular arc that you like that the fandom doesn’t? Why?”

again, i don’t think so? i don’t really get too into the discourse in the dmc fandom so i don’t have a full grasp over what’s popular and what’s not. though, i do recall seeing a bit of stuff about how people don’t like that v seems to have just been a one-off character and how they wish he could’ve been a completely separate character from vergil, but, as short as it was, i enjoyed v’s arc! i think, in the time that vergil’s human and demon halves were separated, v was able to grow a little and also sort of begin to start healing from his trauma when vergil wouldn’t let himself deal with it properly, and since v realized how important everything he threw away really was, i think vergil retained that when he became whole again and i think it’s really cool!!!

“Unpopular opinion about XXX character?’

SLAMS MY HANDS DOWN. LADY AND TRISH ARE BADASS QUEENS AND I AM LITERALLY SO MAD THAT THEY’RE ONLY IN DMC5 TO BE SEXY. THE ONLY THING THEY DID THAT IMPACTED THE PLOT EVEN A LITTLE WAS UNWILLFULLY BE SERVANTS OF URIZEN AND WHEN THEY WERE PULLED OUT OF THE DEMON BODIES URIZEN TRAPPED THEM IN THEY WERE NAKED AND A POINT WAS MADE OF SHOWING OFF THEIR BODIES AT LEAST A LITTLE AND I THINK THEIR POTENTIAL WAS WASTED 

“Unpopular opinion about your fandom?”

why do so many people in this fandom seem to ship spardacest of any degree. why. can i just go through the dmc5 tag without seeing vergil smooching his son or vergil smooching his brother or v smooching nero or-

“Unpopular opinion about the manga/show?”

nothing the dmc anime is perfect in every single way

“If you could change anything in the show, what would you change?”

nothing the dmc anime is perfect in every single w-

“Instead of XYZ happening, I would have made ABC happen…”

ok there are very few moments in the game i would replace with something new entirely, but i would add nero calling urizen a whore at least once like just imagine nero gets yeeted into a wall by urizen and he just goes “ow...whore” like that’d be so fucking funny

“Does not shipping something ‘popular’ mean you’re in denial and/or biased?”

absolutely fuckin not my dude sometimes you’re just not on board with the most popular ships in the fandom and that’s totally okay! as long as ur not shipping incest or any kind of abusive dynamic i literally dont care if you don’t ship the popular ships

“What is the one thing you hate most about your fandom?”

*inhales deeply* spardacest

“What is the purest ship in the fandom?”

ok i’ve seen literally NO ONE ELSE who ships these but lady x trish and nero x nico. lady and trish are lesbians that are dating each other and my proof is that episode of the anime where lady and trish don’t know each other so they’re fighting because trish is a demon and lady’s someone who hunts demons and trish was just trying to Not Die so they fight for the whole episode but then they find out that they’re each a friend of dante’s so they go and buy a bunch of expensive clothes together and send the bill to dante and that was their first date and now they’re girlfriends and idk man nero and nico just have a fun dynamic that made me go “they’re totally dating each other”

“What are your thoughts on crack ships?”

ok so like, in general, crack ships are fun as hell just for some shits and giggles but i haven’t really seen any crack ships in the dmc fandom??? though i think there’s plenty of potential there for a few of those and im interested to see if the fandom will come up with any crack ships!!

“Popular character you hate?”

none i absolutely adore all of them

“Unpopular character you love?”

are there any unpopular characters in this fandom? are there??? though i guess if i wanna go back to what i said about seeing a little bit of nero hate (again, mainly in youtube comments), i absolutely LOVE nero and to those people who say he doesn’t have a lot of character: yes he DOES you’re just not LOOKING HARD ENOUGH

“Would you recommend XXX to a friend? Why or why not?”

OH YES ABSOLUTELY, bro even though i certainly have my gripes about the dmc franchise, it’s SUCH a good series in spite of all that! the combat system is pretty neat (and only gets better in the later games), the music is absolutely bangin, there’s so many fun, iconic characters, the story is, for the most part, incredibly engaging and compelling, and honestly pretty much the whole series is just a family squabble but if everyone in the family was superpowered by having demonic heritage and OH YEAH THEY HAVE SWORDS

“How would you end XXX/Would you change the ending of XXX?”

i wouldn’t end the dmc series any differently than capcom did!! i really enjoy that dmc5 ended with dante and vergil finally settling their differences and ending their lifelong rivalry (after nero bitch slapped dante and beat the shit out of vergil), and it looks like dante and vergil’s story has come to a very satisfying end! i don’t see where else capcom can go with the twins, but if they do make more dmc games, i would absolutely love to follow more of nero’s adventures and see how he continues to grow, both as a person and a devil hunter!!! you hear me, capcom??? give me more content with my hyper wild boy or i’ll personally come kick your asses

“Most shippable character?”

hm. im gonna say dante, i think!! let the man have a boyfriend

yeah i said it dante’s gay whatcha gonna do about it

“Least shippable character?”

vergil. definitely vergil, but that’s only because i personally see him as aromantic! i think he certainly wants to be loved, yes, but less in a romantic sense and more in a familial sense, ya feel? i would love to see him interact with nero more and see how he navigates that relationship, because i think it would be really interesting to see how he takes to having a son of his own!! but that’s a discussion for another post entirely; i view vergil as aromantic so he’s not really looking for a romantic relationship with someone but that won’t stop (and hasn’t stopped) him from sleeping with people lmao

was that all of them? i think that may have been all the fandom related ones but please let me know if i missed any!! hoo boy it feels good to go off about this LMAO

Haha uhhh riza and roy for the hcs 👀

okay b e t bro

roy:

Sexuality Headcanon: gay! i see him definitely as mlm if not gay

 Gender Headcanon: ,,,,, nb roy did say rights lowkey

A ship I have with said character: hughes and him had smth goin on tell me im w r o n g

 A BROTP I have with said character: riza and roy!! ultimate chaotic friendship, they have solidarity and also grew up together so a million inside jokes

A NOTP I have with said character: r*yed,, im gonna get my fuckin GLOCK IM SOUTHERN IK HOW TO USE IT

 A random headcanon: after he gets his eyesight back he stays color blind and eventually it degenerates until he’s fully blind again 

General Opinion over said character: character arc Okay,, imo he should’ve stayed blind and ppl should quit simping over him and ignoring the shit he did like he’s innocent of crimes just bc he feels guilty

and now the icon.. the beauty.. riza...

Sexuality Headcanon: wlw at the l e a s t,, i personally see her as a lesbian tho 

Gender Headcanon: trans woman riza trans woman riza

A ship I have with said character: honestly i don’t have any at the top of my head? i think she definitely has a crush on rebecca tho, and olivier probably had a Thing for her at some point

A BROTP I have with said character: roy and riza for the exact thing said as above,, also bc.. the power dynamic of her working under roy squicks me out so i dont pair them up, like I Get Why ppl do but also. not my cup of tea sorry

A NOTP I have with said character: ,,,, the next time i see someone pair her up w al or ed im gonna SNAP

A random headcanon: she loves dogs but she’s allergic to cats! also,, very very fond of winry she wants to Mentor her

General Opinion over said character: i love her.. but like above people simp over her without talking about the stuff she did and i think we should do that more,, she is incredibly sexy though

fuck it, all the evens for the quarantine ask, there are no rules anymore

NO RULES NO RULES NO RULES!! putting this under a cut to spare yall lmao

2. Grilled cheese or PB&J?

GRILLCHEESE. i have recently developed an idealogical opposition to peanut butter but also have you ever been awake at like Too Late and ur jus vibing and u make a grilled cheese and have ur midnight grillcheese? fucking MAGICAL. avery and i all the time when it is Too Late will be like “i want something. what do i want what is it GRILLCHEESE” and then we grill a cheese.

4. Your go-to bar order, if you drink?

i dont drink ! but i do love to have fancy, nonalcoholic drinks....no go-to bar order tho rip 

6. Top three cuisines?

i like...italian food, ofc, as anyone who knows my last name would probably guess, but also my top fav is like mediterranean & middle eastern food ? like fuck man what i would not do in life for a good gyro 

8. What’s a job that you’ve had that people might be surprised to find out you’ve had?

i have not, uh, strictly had jobs, as such, but uh a fun fact abt me is that i did Literally Every Possible Volunteer Position at my church i think lkjhgfhfhs. 

10. Do you own any signed books/memorabilia in general?

answered!

12. What do you get on your bagels? What WOULD you get if you had access to anything you wanted?

OK SO. there is this place near my mom’s college that i think might just literally be called the bagel place and they have a kind of bagel named after their school mascot which is just. bagel, and then you toast it, adn put cream cheese on each half, and then you put some regular cheese on the top of it and put it in a broiler and melt the cheese and its SO GOOD and thats my ideal bagel. 

14. Favorite mug you own

THIS IS A GOOD QUESTION. sofia gave me a yellow mug and its little and v round and decorated w flowers and its SO GOOD and its my fav. i also have a black skull mug and a haunted mansion mug that i LOVe adn theyre all in MARYLAND STILL HELP. i miss them. 

16. Pick a song lyric to describe your current mood (and drop the name and artist!)

it took a concerted effort here not to choose something from next to normal which tells you how intensely GOING THRU IT i am. there’s a song called “better in the morning” by birdtalker that my spotify discover weekly hit me w during a late night breakdown that sort of encapsulates my “this fuckin SUCKS bro but we’re gonna keep goin tho” vibe.

18. What’s that one TV show that you’re a little bit embarrassed to watch but you still like nonetheless?

SHAME OVER INTERESTS IS BORING. ITS 2020. SOMETIMES I WATCH OLD EPISODES OF SHAKE IT UP WITH MY SISTERS. no but my real answer is....i really genuinely unironically love high school musical the musical the series. is it good? not, like, really! but i love it. its probably made me tear up. but im not embarrassed abt it lmao 20. Do you match your socks?

answered!22. What was your “phase” when you were younger? (i.e., Mythology Nerd, Horse Girl, Space Geek, etc)

JKHGSDAF my phase was “Undiagnosed ADHD” so it was , All The Phases really but no it was star wars for sure. but star wars wasnt a PHASE mom thats who i AMMMM 

24. What’s your opinion on Lazy Susan’s (the spinning tray in the middle of tables)?

i...no opinion? they’re..fine? 

26. You can only have one juice for the rest of your life, what is it?

ok theres a local like, dairy farm that makes a FUCKING MAGICAL watermelon lemonade in the summer and i would do anything to have that shit year round 28. What’s one thing you’re trying to learn/relearn in your downtime right now?

knitting! embroidery! uhhhh time management when ur trapped and have adhd! other assorted mental health strategies, like “how to explain to ur teachers that u need help bc ur brain is just Chaotic and also the WORLD IS ENDING, catriona, PLEASE no more essays.” 30. Where could someone find you in a museum?

depends on the museum! but ur best bet is “genuinely crying over van goghs” or otherwise having Very Big Emotions over someone like monet or agnes martin

32. Rainbows, stars, or sunset colored clouds?

ALL OF THESE. probably sunset clouds but also i cannot TELL you how much i miss stars when im out in MD being a Big City Boy.

34. Do you have more art on your walls or more photographs?

art! altho im thinking of disassembling the Art Wall™ and doing smth else bc its gotten a little chaotic in here lately 

36. Pick a superhero sidekick to hang out with

ok, like, define sidekick! which of the young avengers are “sidekicks” if its just a group of gay friends doing universe-saving together?? would you relegate billy kaplan to “sidekick” status? sidekick to WHOM? anyway the answer is teddy altman. 

38. Favorite mid-2000s song

answered!

40. Where do you sit in the living room (we all have a preferred spot, and you know it)?

the couch corner is MINE, babey!! (8 ppl in ur house does mean a big L shaped couch is relatively necessary.) altho recently ive developed a habit of whenever i see someone sitting in a spot i decide that is now My Spot. the person already there doesnt have to move! but i will also be sitting there now thank you. no, im not craving physical affection, why do you ask? 

42. A song you didn’t think you’d enjoy but ended up loving

i dont think i expected to Fall In Love with carly rae jepsen, i dont think ! but her power.....wow. 

44. Are you a “Quote that relates to the photos” caption-er, an “explanation of where I took the photos” caption-er, or a no caption kinda person when you post pictures online?

quote that relates to the photos, usually! with maybe a little explanation. most of the photos i post are arts so it’ll be like “this is carrion hes a bitch i love him” etc 

46. What’s the freezer food that you stock up on when you go to the grocery store?

i dont think...anything in the freezer in my apartment is mine? i think ive got some ben and jerry’s phish food in there tho which is DEFINITELY bad by now, FUCK, but also toaster waffles, conceptually, would be my answer. 

48. Do you like Jello?

yes ! it is . Fun To Eat. 

50. How are you at climbing trees?

pretty bad, bc coordination is a no and im afraid of heights, but i sure do love to try ! and then get too scared! 

thanks for answering!! i hope you don't mind if i send more charas...how about green and/or lillie?

fhgjkfdg aw yea thank u!! hopefully this doesn’t publish before i’m done typing lol

also this definitely needs a readmore bc i got emotional abt Green oops

Green

favorite thing about them

first of all: the fact that Green canonically has a rivals to best friends arc with Red fills me with so much joy and YES they are on their alolan honeymoon you cannot convince me otherwise

okay like. gen 1 Green just perfectly encompasses what it’s like to be a ten year old in a way? like ofc he’s written like a kid bc he is a kid, but i feel like the writing on him just feels so genuine as compared to some of the other 10 yr old rivals you get in other regions. even though he’s kinda a brat at the start, he kinda eases up a bit as you go along your journey and starts giving you progressively nicer/more praise-y end lines when you beat him (going from “i picked the wrong pokémon!” to “so, you are ready for boss rocket!”) but still retains this childlike rivalry and competitiveness and i love that about him

and like. fucking beating him at the Indigo League still completely breaks my heart because even after he did become the champion at age 10 the first thing that happens is you beat him and Prof Oak just yells at him for being bad at things and like. ow. 

this is why i headcanon that Red actually took awhile longer to get to Green like please. please give my boy a chance to be happy and proud

also Red was caught up with Team Rocket anyway so i imagine he must’ve fallen a little behind at some point? anyway

the development on him across regions is so choice!!! he’s so much more mellow and even kinda melancholic when you find him in gsc/hgss, like he’s calmed down over a few years and he obviously misses Red so much but like, it’s clear that Red is kinda the reason Green does settle down and he seems to have worked on his character and become a nicer person - and he still has that sassy flair to him! he’s just got that gradual slope from asshole rival to kinda aloof gym leader to friendly/sassy battle legend and aaaaa i love my boy so MUCH

also huge point: he’s so fucking driven??? he’s got the most drive and the most passion for battles/pokémon in general out of all the rivals i feel. he’s only closely matched by Silver, but Silver seems to be more aggressive than passionate, and somewhat out of necessity too (like, Giovanni abandoned him what was he to do), whereas Green just really like. he genuinely just cares so much about battles and about pokémon in general! he literally calls you in hgss and just rants about how many different kinds of pokémon there are in the world!!!

also in Alola he’s like???? just so sweet?????? he congratulates you and is like hey you’re really strong lets battle like!!!!!!!!! supportive boy!!!!! he has come so far over so many generations and i cry

also on Four Island when you play frlg he legitimately says “Be smelling ya!” when he leaves and how do you not love this idiot

least favorite thing about them

i mean. while i get that you beat Green right after he becomes the champion in the kanto games i feel like there should’ve been more pomp and circumstance for him and i’ll never forgive gamefreak for giving this boy his dream, then making you rip it away from him, and then watching his own gramps yell at him for fucking up like. again it’s that drive, i get why Red keeps such good pace w Green but i just feel like he worked so hard and he deserved so much better than that

also while i’m very biased towards him bc Big Emotions, i feel like if i knew this boy irl who was constantly i’m so great and you’re a loser i would probably punch him eventually lmao. in theory it’s kinda endearing but as a real person that’d be grating 

favorite line

on one hand, “smell ya later” is so fucking iconic, but on the other - 

“I’m Blue. Man, this guy called Red brought me down in a heartbeat. I haven’t seen him in a long time…I wonder where he is and what he’s up to… Come to think of it, you look a little bit like Red. Yeah, you do. Just…Just a little bit. Whatever…”

my namelessshipping heart

ALSO NOT CANON BUT GREEN RANTING TO YOU ABOUT RED AND GETTING SO DISTRACTED THAT HE FORGETS TO GIVE YOU THE POKÉDEX????? BIG GAY

brOTP

for long elaborate headcanon reasons, i see him as being a good brotp with Kris - i headcanon her as also being really driven the way Green is, but more quiet about it, she’s kinda a good balance to him and they probably do pokemon research together. i also feel like she kept him sane while Red was still missing/before they found him on a fuckin mountain

OTP

do i really need to tell you that i’m 100% namelessshipping

like they perfectly balance each other. Green has all this energy and all this spunk and Red is just like… so opposite of him y'know? he’s quiet and he’s more measured in his behavior i feel, he doesn’t really rush into things as much, and yet they both really just took Kanto by storm when they were kids, and i like how they have this foil dynamic and are both still so successful? they’re so different and they complement each other in that way, and they both find success in their own ways

like one of the reasons i hate that Green’s championship gets undersold so much is that he did beat you to the punch, and he has been one step ahead of you, and there’s so much passion there and it’s so loud - and yet you as Red are just as driven, you take down Team Rocket, you’re always right on his tail, so close but not quite there, you’re the only one who can keep up with him and you’re the only one he cares enough about to slow down for

so like. idk with even all my headcanons about namelessshipping aside (and i can infodump those another day lol), i feel like the in-game representation of them just works. they just work so well together, they balance each other without ever holding each other back, and there’s something really beautiful about that in a relationship y'know

…..i feel bad abt not putting as much infodump about isshushipping now but oh well

nOTP

i don’t really have a notp with him? i kinda like. i basically just do namelessshipping, but i don’t get a visceral eugh when i see other ships with him, just kinda a well it’s not nameless so i’ll be on my way. idek what other ships w him are popular?? i’ve been in nameless hell since 2012 so 

random headcanon

while Red is still living on Mount Silver, Green is not coping well with having him so far away, and so Green massively overworks himself to the point that he keeps just not being in his gym sometimes bc he’s bouncing between the gym, training multiple teams, pokémon research, and ofc going to visit Red whenever he can. this leads him to be kinda temperamental after he’s been working on 2 hours of sleep a day for like a week until he just has an emotional meltdown and crashes, and then he gets right back into it because he has no self preservation

…….. nicer headcanon; Red can only cook two (2) foods, so Green cooks all the food for them when they move in together. he has attempted to teach Red how to cook, but Red pretends not to understand so Green will keep making him food. Green knows Red is faking it and doesn’t call him out bc he thinks it’s cute

unpopular opinion

look i’ve played through classic red version a few times and when i say he wasn’t that much of a jerk, i do genuinely mean he was not that much of a jerk. he’s like ten. ten year olds are just Like That. i guess this isn’t too unpopular anymore but it was Back In The Day and in some parts of the fandom he’s still seen as a jerk and like Bro He Is Ten In RGB/FRLG cut him some slack

also genuinely unpopular - Green is taller than Red. i know namelessshipping has fallen into the bara Red and twink Green trope but i refuse to let go of tall Green/short Red fuckin fight me why dont you

song i associate with them

a lot of the Pray For The Wicked album by Panic! at the Disco gives me Green vibes, more for the sound than for lyrics necessarily, but for some reason Roaring 20s just like. has the sound of Green to me. it’s somewhere between flamboyant pride and underlying insecurity that i think really encapsulates Green (or at least his subtext)

favorite picture of them

i genuinely love his let’s go concept art he’s such a sweet good boy?? 

and for the life of me i cannot find the op source on this but this is my fave pic of Green/namelessshipping in general that i’ve had saved since like 2012 maybe???

yeah if anyone can help me source that i’d appreciate it bc reverse image search only brings me to pinterest and random wattpad links :/

update: source seems to be the artist くる (pixiv id=982894) on pixiv, even though the original post got taken down (ty anon!)

Lillie

favorite thing about them

by now i guess you know im a sucker for character development, but i think they did a really good job with her!! i feel like her turn is a bit more in moments than it is with Green, who gradually evolves (lol) over the course of Kanto/all the gens overall. you see more discrete moments where Lillie starts to shift and gain confidence in herself and i am so proud of her ???? like the way she gets excited when she sees Olivia doin’ her z-move stuff, she starts buying her own clothes and getting ahead of you, etc etc

and like, she still has moments where she’s scared, there’s still some fundamental Lillie in there yknow? you don’t lose any of that softness that characterizes Lillie, she just like… she gets better, she develops without losing her Lillie vibe and i love that abt her. she overcomes a lot of the shit she had to deal with when she was stuck with Lusamine, she stands up to Lusamine eventually, and ghfdkjsg gah she’s a sweet gorl i love and appreciate her

also like. the writing on her backstory is so subtle in-universe. like yeah she literally looks like Lusamine’s daughter and you see her in the opening cutscene leaving Aether, but as the protagonist - like as Selene lets say, there’s little hints about where Lillie came from, and if you suspend your disbelief and put yourself in the pc’s shoes, there’s subtly to her character arc that i like 

also like. when she changes her outfit and starts being more protagonist-y, like more confident and kinda bubbly instead of shy??? love that shit it’s so cute can i have custody of this child pls

least favorite thing about them

i like. sometimes feel like she’s too soft of a character for me to really get into? like i love her and Hau, they’re sweet good friends, but i tend to personally gravitate towards characters that create a little more tension (ie Green and N)

(though on that note, Hau can be kinda savage. he just calls Faba out and sarcastically calls Gladion “a ray of sunshine” at some point i think?? Lillie is just very tender and i will support her forever, but i think that also makes her almost too soft to keep me fixated on her yknow. it’s not even a flaw in her character but just not something i fawn over as much)

favorite line

“I’m so glad I got to meet everyone. I’m so glad I got to meet you.”

like that ending kills me but that line almost feels like. I Feel That So Much like i feel so happy to have met all these new characters and to have played these games, and i feel like some of the player’s energy and enjoyment of the game is channeled into this last line of hers 

also GET IN THE BAG

brOTP

probably her and Hau?? idk, i don’t have a specific brotp for her but i like her just hangin around w the other Alola kids, so like her, Hau, Gladion, and the protag kids. they’d raise hell together and Lillie continues to be the only one with some impulse control

(Gladion also has some impulse control but keeps getting annoyed by Hau and so he gets dragged into their nonsense anyway)

OTP

Selene and Lillie is. Good. idk what the ship name is but it’s canon

nOTP

i dont even know if people ship her with Gladion but incest is a big no-no in my house

random headcanon

when she goes to Kanto, i bet she’d pick Bulbasaur as a starter if she was given the opportunity - and if not, she’d probably catch a wild Vulpix 

unpopular opinion

idk if have any unpopular opinions for her?? 

song i associate with them

i have no reason to associate this with her but the Rainy Day theme from acgc just. has a vibe about it. i think a lot of ac music feels like it suits her

favorite picture of them

i found this art of her through a lofi remix of her theme awhile back and it’s so pleasing to look at? her hair is nice and the colors are so warm n happy gjhkfdgf

if you read this far, congratulations!!! and i’m sorry

I want to write a DorothyAnn Fic

Shoving the basic plot under read more (only vaguely cohesive cause they were 1 discord messages to a friend and I can't be serious 2. written at 1 am 

(i wanna write a fanfic where dorothy goes to wonderland since its also a fairly land country where meets mary ann and falls in love with her. And gets an idea to see her again

During her visit in wonderland she meets mary ann and makes a friend with her due to their similar age and lifestyles originally. Dorothy fucks around and catches feelings for the ravenette maid.

But she has to go home cause she lives in oz she's a princess there. rambling to her friends about a really cute girl she meet and how she’d like for her friends to meet her. ozma who also very much adores dorothy of course does it since dorothy is a simple girl even as a princess and what little things she wants are worth the effort) (so mary ann gets this fucking fancy ass letter about her being requested in oz and shes like...”w-what the hell do i need to go to oz for?” the letter goes on for a bit and explains the details and how she requested there by one of the princesses and mary ann’s like FUCK THE ROYALS ARE AFTER ME FOR KILLING THE QUEEN. so she gets nervous and rabbits like. “ok i doubt that but even if they were you're a strong girl you'll figure it out”. sir edward reads the letter (LET THEM BE FRIENDS/ let sir edward adopt mary ann) and immediately picks up on the subtle hint that bro mary ann this bitch is into you. and makes her a few things to wear (she feels guilty for taking gifts and ends up cleaning up for him) and the gang (of literal dad friends) help her pack n such) so she gets picked up in a carriage (extravagantly cause oz be like that) she sees dorothy whos like "glad you got my letter!" and mary ann’s like...wait shes the princess??? and shes really confused cause she didnt bring that up the first time they meet. but shes just like "yeah.." and she kinda awkwardly boards cause shit could go south so fast (it wont shes paranoid) she enters oz and is like. woah ok this is actually quite beautiful and is just kind of in awe of it even as a wonderlandian. ) dorothy’s like "isn’t it nice?" and mary ann is like "yeah its..marvelous" (BOOK TITLE REFERENCE LMAO) and dorothy gets really excited to show her around like * grabs hand *  "let me give you a tour" ) Mary ann sticks out cause oz is color coded (purple, red, blue, yellow, green) and mary ann is a dressed in black  (black is debatably a color i was gonna say she was a shade/tint/tone or smth but google won't answer me) so to help her fit in dorothy gives (not even borrow legit just goes. here you can have this) her one of her green dresses and mary ann's like WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU SO FUCKING NICE mary ann follows dorothy around (more like dorothy walks around holding mary ann’s hand)and she meets everyone. scarecrow, tinman, lion, tiger, woggle bug, sawhorse, ect ect and all of them can instantly tell yeah dorothy has a thing for this girl and mary ann is fucking clueless. so THEY START DROPPING HINTS and she's still oblivious. so after the first day mary ann just kinda goes to dorothy's room for a break with her permission (feather by her side) and she kinda rants about how odd it all is to be treated like this when shes so use to being a nobody and feathers like "seems like dorothy really likes you" and then that shit clicks like FUCK! but plot twist mary ann already developed feeling for dorothy back in wonderland) so shes just like: gay panic cause once she realizes that dorothy may like her shes like...w-well what if i like her back...is that why i've been so nervous?? nah its just cause im being spoiled (you're an idiot mary ann) so she chokes her personal feelings up to "well of course i like her shes being nice to me"(MARY ANN YOU'RE AN IDIOT) and she just sits in the room until fuckin eureka jumps out (scares her half to death) like "i heard the whole thing" (shes a cat so she tries to out mary ann the second dorothy shows up but feather squawks every time she tries and is like "listen mary ann's too sweet for you to go an embarrass her like that. i know we're not suppose to get along cause cats and birds don't mix but can you please do me a favor and butt out of this" "let them figure this out themselves" so they make a pact. eureka wanted one of this tail feathers in turn cause the blue color is very pretty  so hes like fine and eureka yanks out a feather (cause asshole cat. dw they end up bonding over their owners being dumb asses) so dorothy practically takes mary ann on like little mini dates everyday without saying explicitly their dates and they get progressively more romantic. dorothy talks to her friends for advice and mary ann goes to feather and its hectic in a wholesome way.  on mary ann's last day dorothy just openly confesses that she's got feelings for her and mary ann's like...so do i and its just very much a relief on both ends although mary ann is about to leave that afternoon. and when it comes time dorothy's like “are you sure you don't want to live here? there's plenty of room" and mary ann's like "i belong in wonderland" and it seems like thats it fuckin camp romance but nah dorothy tells mary ann to just give her a sign if she ever wants to visit oz (like dorothy did with ozma) and mary ann's like "will do. perhaps we can write in between?" and boom long distance gfs cause self projecting (me and lucas core) the final will prolly just be mary ann telling the others about what happened in oz with a small time skip to a letter arriving from dorothy

bro.. tell me how u feel abt umbrella academy.. like characters u like, critiques or fav scenes... pwease im dying

bro,,,, im so deeply ambivalent about this show bro theres bits of it i LOVE sooooo much but theres bits that r rly extremely hHHHHH like the politics. do not hold up to any sort of close reading at all theres kind of a lot of ugly subtext its Real Bad

i watched it like a month ago so i cant remember much abt specific bits / scenes i remember liking the editing and the way they used music a LOT but cant think of specific examples other than the run boy run bit, the queen fight scene, & the hazy shade of winter cover which slaps 

bUT honestly if u ask me how i feel about it like. the thing i find most interesting at the end of the day is the characters i like their relationships (luther/allison dont interact) w each other and i think theyre a rly good and compelling look at a Fambily thats a hot fuckin mess its kind of the same reason i loved haunting of hill house like.. i love when ppl use genre fiction to do character studies 

i love klaus w my whole heart hes extremely a comfort character i just watched half the 1975 coachella set bc i was gonna skip it but then they played its not living (if its not with you) which is a Klaus Song so i stuck it out for like. so much longer than i needed to,,,, i love a king who came back from the dead bc god doesnt like him i love gay people hes so valid and sUCH a big gender energy? @ ua costume designers open. the leather pants. stop. having them be custom made and unavailable for off the rack purchase

me and my friends made a whole ass klaus playlist which got Very out of hand its like 75 songs we also kind of went on a several week long bender thru robert sheehans entire filmography (shoutout andy @fruitbi​ he was the impetus for this) bc his twink energy was Off The Charts and we were all kinning,,,, do not watch mortal engines its not worth it his hair is really bad in that movie 

what else uhh,,,, vanya is a lesbian ellen page has never convincingly played a straight person in her life, diego is a trans man, blade runner 2049 wishes its robot housewife character was half as compelling as grace is, fuck blue lives luthers a cop, whatsisname they cast to play five is the PERFECT 50 y/o trapped in a childs body he looks so just. ancient i would die for this weird teen

The Dave and Dirk log, for obvious reasons, was something I wanted to try very hard to get right. That meant although we drafted it together via msparp, as was our custom, I ended up overhauling it way more than any of our other combo walkaround logs. A few chunks did survive the transfer, though.

In other news, we’ve made a solemn pact to finish TLC over winter break, which is good because I’m running out of bonus content. Hopefully we’ll have some assets to show off soon. I’ve already seen a few; they’re very nice.  

DIRK: Hey, dude. You did pretty well out there. DIRK: Didn't even die once. DAVE: twice in a day is my max im satisfied with keeping that record DAVE: even if getting machinegunned is rapidly becoming my "thing" DIRK: Seems we each have our respective "signature deaths". DIRK: Or at least it ain't a party until I get decapitated. That sure was something we needed to do again. DIRK: Just once, for old time's sake. DAVE: well that puts the nail in the meme coffin DAVE: any time you panic someones gonna tell you to keep your head on DAVE: like keeping your hair on except you know that shit aint going anywhere its probably shellaced DIRK: That shit is bolted to the floor. Did you know I walked around with a girly-ass pink tiara on my head this whole day and had no idea? DIRK: I had no idea. Couldn't feel a thing. DIRK: And people let me do that. DIRK: Can't fuckin' believe it. DAVE: oh DAVE: i figured you knew DIRK: I am less than pleased with my Skaia-ordained divine color scheme. DIRK: But I guess I have to live with it. It's part of the team aesthetic. DAVE: you could always change DIRK: Nah, with the tiara and tights ditched I have at least mitigated the enforced flamboyance. It's bearable. DIRK: I can't be the one dude out of uniform. Couldn't bear the shame. DAVE: my outfit is pretty sick ngl DAVE: sburb knows everyones secret desire is to have a cape DIRK: Unfortunately, mine isn't long enough to also make for a good tactical maneuver. DIRK: Not gonna lie, that was pretty funny. DAVE: if nothing else my attempts at combat can provide a source of humor in our lives DAVE: but honestly id be fine if my fighting days were over DAVE: i was never into it DAVE: rose on the other hand was obviously itching to beat people up DAVE: one of those 12 year olds who wants to get jumped in an alley to work out her suppressed anger DIRK: Maybe Skaia did make a few miscalculations in dumping your asses with your respective guardians. I think you'd get along well with Roxy and her cats, make her budget her time away from the alcohol. DIRK: ...in theory. DIRK: Rose can go a few rounds with me if she wants, we still need to sort out who has the rights to document our legendary journies. DAVE: ill plan your funeral DAVE: what kind of flowers do you want DIRK: ...there's different kinds? DAVE: damn thats right you grew up in waterworld DAVE: these choices matter DAVE: allegedly theres a thing called "flower language" DAVE: whether you can actually send someone a boquet telling them to meet you in the pit i dont know DIRK: Like, I get that, in theory, different kinds of flowers exist. But I fully anticipate any attempt on my part to conjugate in the language of said plants would end in my coffin declaring my hovercraft was indeed full of eels. DIRK: Maybe it'll have thorns on it. Or it'll be like the sixteen millions tons of green bullshit covering my land and making my nose itch. DAVE: probably DIRK: Worst case scenario, I'll pick out something orange and present to a prospective love interest and it'll mean something like "my brotherly passion for you knows no boundaries, and also no homo". DAVE: my bro wouldnt go for flower arranging DAVE: or pink tiaras DAVE: he was pretty uptight about the whole rah rah macho act DAVE: probably subscribed to alpha males weekly DAVE: which is weird considering DAVE: well DAVE: youre gay right DIRK: Uh. DIRK: Well. DIRK: My symbolic quest land is not covered in green bullshit, but I. DIRK: Happen to like watching birds, if you know what I mean. DIRK: Fuck, you probably don't know what that means. Jake and his goddamn thousand euphemisms. DAVE: cant say i do no DIRK: Nobody knows what it means but Jake. It's an old time epithet for being into dudes. DIRK: He knows all the old epithets, including some I suspect he made up. DAVE: so DAVE: thats a yes DAVE: in a roundabout way that includes birds DIRK: I've never denied it. DIRK: I'm just. DIRK: Not a huge fan of the word. Why, in this world post-society, do we need to confine ourselves to labels like "gay"? Such constraints were washed away from my world with the rest of the human race. DAVE: holy shit that was such a pretentious dodge DAVE: dont let rose hear you say that DIRK: Rose can hear all she likes. DAVE: but anyway DAVE: i wasnt asking to get up all in your business like SOME PEOPLE DAVE: who are so into getting into other peoples businesses theyre basically the fucking mafia or the irs DAVE: but DAVE: it explains some stuff DAVE: but on the other hand it doesnt DAVE: the way you raised me was kinda aggressively mainstream masculine enough that it wasnt something that ever seemed to come up as an option DAVE: [describe that type of culture and mindset better later, I KNOW what i mean but im tired rn lmao] DAVE: and anything outside of that id just brush off because it couldnt apply to me DAVE: and that went for pretty much everything that went against what you wanted for me DAVE: including that DIRK: And yet, here the man was, subconsciously shrieking his desire for floppy felt dong through, DIRK: What I guess you could call his art, for want of any other applicable word at all. God, the mental images are crawling up the insides of my skull like the Exorcist child, do I want to know? DAVE: probably not DAVE: guess trying to act peak male has its drawbacks DAVE: weirdly enough troll culture is obsessively hyperviolent but doesnt give a shit about sexuality DAVE: they dont see the difference most of the time i guess DAVE: and so like DAVE: maybe it rubs off on you because in some ways that kind of makes sense DAVE: but after so long its hard to know what i feel and what it means because i spent so long ignoring it DAVE: so i guess i was wondering DAVE: if you had anything that might help with that DAVE: or if youre also trapped in this whirling screaming maelstrom of bullshit DAVE: while kinsey sits in the eye of the storm laughing DIRK: Wait, wait, wait. DIRK: You're coming to me. DIRK: For advice. DIRK: Do you know what a laughable hurricane of disaster my interpersonal life has been? DIRK: Like, in a weird way, I'm kind of honored, especially since about five hours ago you were scared shitless to be around me, but. DIRK: I'm standing here and waving my credentials in the air just to display how I don't fucking have any. My degree is a sham and my hands are empty except for a crudely scribbled on piece of construction paper. DAVE: are you suggesting theres a gay university DAVE: where you study bird watching DIRK: Do I look like a man who's been to college? DAVE: fair DAVE: but like DAVE: your friends know DAVE: how did you broach the subject there DIRK: I might as well have been dating a Yoko Ono for the devastation it wreaked on our friend group, so yeah, it was a little hard to ignore. DIRK: Compounded by the fact some smartass from Gay University was using my social circle for romance geometry homework. DIRK: It wasn't even a love triangle so much as a love roundabout. DAVE: ok but thats just because you were a dipshit not a gay dipshit DAVE: they were chill about the first part right DIRK: Thanks. DIRK: I mean... Roxy always seemed disappointed. DAVE: luckily i dont think anyones waiting in line for me DAVE: i guess im blowing it out of proportion DAVE: i dont think anyone will MIND DAVE: no one did about rose and kanaya DAVE: didnt even question the vampire bit which goes to show what our lives are like these days DAVE: like ok our outfit has vampires now DAVE: thats a thing that we have DAVE: if i say oh hey i might be bisexual theyll just say sure pull up a chair at the acronym table DAVE: the only one who might be weird about it is john DAVE: but hed be just as weird if i told him id changed my favorite color hes just like that DAVE: the only person its really a big deal for is me DIRK: Jane was a little bit like that. I'm pretty sure the only reason she had to object was because she found out the day I made a move on her crush. DIRK: It might just be growing up in a household where you're not regularly fighting for your life, and thus what genders are kissing whom has the space to be higher on your priority list. DAVE: that aint anyones priority these days DAVE: im prepared to acknowledge the concept that hey maybe everyone elses lives dont revolve around me and my personal drama or self revelations might have some merit at least as a hypothesis DAVE: when i met kid english he kept going on about how i was the most important person and everyone else was side characters DAVE: and maybe ive acted like that sometimes DIRK: Yeah, like you alone are the one responsible for everyone around you. DAVE: and maybe ive acted like i think that way too sometimes DAVE: ive been wrong about people DAVE: people i care about people i shouldve known better DAVE: i was wrong because i wanted to believe things that matched how i wanted the world to be DAVE: things that made it easier for the story i was telling myself DAVE: i dont think kid english meant to call me on it but damn DIRK: Reality is, after all, something we construct for ourselves. DIRK: I think maybe I knew that all along when I surfaced for air inbetween shoving my head as far up my ass as it would go. DIRK: Or maybe that's just what I try to tell myself in hindsight. DAVE: well if it takes a hyperactive 12 year old version of the final bosss creepy hero worship of me to make a point i guess thats not the least subtle way the universe has sent me a message lately DIRK: You want unsubtle? Let me tell you about my damn planet quest. DAVE: haha DAVE: i didnt have to do much of my quest because im invisible DAVE: thanks mom DIRK: My denizen practically sat me down like it was my life coach and growled in my ear about improving my communication skills with a guy I told to go fuck himself not eighteen hours prior. DIRK: So while I'm glad SBURB has a vested interest in me repairing my friendships, playing electroshock death DDR with him was a little on the nose. DAVE: maybe getting shot again wasnt that bad DAVE: so weve all learned our life lessons good job team DIRK: Exactly. Can we wrap this up now? Can we please go rest? DIRK: I'm so exhausted I haven't even noticed I'm still hungover. DAVE: sure thing DAVE: but if i need tips on leaping out of a closet to intimidate passerby i might text you DIRK: I mean, I can try. As long as you don't ask me for dating tips. That, I definitely shouldn't be helping you with. DIRK: Go talk to your sister for that. DIRK: ...wouldn't she, by the transitive property of siblings, also be my sister? DAVE: yeah i guess DAVE: but theres no way in hell im asking rose for dating advice DAVE: on her first date which she refused to admit was romantically oriented she got wasted in anticipation forgot to show up and then fell down the stairs DIRK: Oh my god. DAVE: she tries to look like shes got her shit together but its a lie DAVE: if you find my corpse floating on lolar in the next few hours dont let the truth die with me DIRK: Why are we like this? DIRK: Is there actually something hardwired into our DNA that predisposes us to being disasters? DIRK: But, that aside. DIRK: I won't object if it's me you come to talk to. DAVE: ill hold you to it DAVE: and if you ever want to publicly you admit you DAVE: "enjoy birdwatching" DAVE: in less vague and evasive terms DAVE: ill have your back DIRK: Thanks.