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#after this semester not just bc of this situation but i might be like. ive never had a room at dads and id like to at least for summer
sapphicdib · 7 months
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r u willing to give us some info abt the streamer au? You’ve mentioned it before but I’m just curious abt it tbh :D
oh I AM MORE THAN WILLING. PREPARE URSELF
so: what happens when you put the physical manifestation of ADHD into an apartment with 3 different flavors of autism, give her a successful twitch career, and blast all of them with Beam Of Insufferably Horny?
the streamer au LMFAO (putting this under a cut bc it got. INSANELY long omfg)
normally i dont rlly like human aus (they’re just not my thing) but this stupid au wormed it’s way into my heart and now i cherish it lmfao. there’s no real set plot, there’s just Situations these lil guys get into. some are soft and adorable (ie. pebbles’ first kiss with sig) or hilarious (sig’s ridiculous amount of flirting with his own chat) or just fuckin stupid (their halloween stream where they do a whole production where chat has to figure out who “killed” sig and it’s just chaos). tbh ive found myself accidentally focusing on the ragequit aspect of the au despite the entire polycule being a thing (lilypad, sunstone, traffic light, ragequit, and hurricane all happen)
i think the Main Things that sum up the au are:
Sig punched Pebbles’ transphobic (now ex) boyfriend in the face and spent a night in jail bc of it LMFAO
Pebbles and Suns meet after Sig drags Pebbles to a party at the college he attends (and Sig attended for a single semester before the whole streamer thing took off). Suns went to catholic school and is incredibly repressed and hesitant with Pebbles and Sig ends up having to instigate a lot of shit to prevent them from just fuckin. never going past hand holding.
Speaking of, Pebbs is an art major and drew all of Sig’s custom emotes. He also loves drawing everyone in the apartment, though usually keeps those drawings hidden from everyone in his sketchbooks
Wind and Sig being childhood best friends who are each others ride or die, they were each others first like, everything. The funniest one being where Wind is having a crisis bc he thinks he might be gay and Sig is just like “hm well I’m kinda a guy maybe kiss me and see if you like it?” And well. Wind has been kissing this fool for 7 years now and does not plan on stopping.
Moon is usually a moderator but does make appearances occasionally and chat loves her. Suns will not go on camera without a face mask. Pebbles was originally camerashy but ends up being in pretty much every stream after a while.
Sig refuses to tell chat his gender and thinks it’s funny watching everyone guess. If you ask/ask for pronouns he just replies with “whatever’s funniest” or “whatever makes this gay”, or if someone’s being rude about it, “whatever pisses you off most”
Sig is like. Insanely good at FPS games and holds multiple top rankings in competitive esports. Yui (Unparalleled Innocence) is one of her main rivals. It’s cute tho. They’re like. rivals who kiss.
Pebbles is Moon’s adopted brother, and has some pretty bad weakness in his hands/legs bc he had cancer as a child. They all support him a lot (Pebbles is rlly stubborn about “being okay”) and Sig does a lot of charity streams for things like forgiving medical debt and cancer research. Sig and Moon bought a huge thing of stickers to help decorate Pebbles’ crutches so he’d like them more.
Pebbles’ name is Pebbles because Moon came up with it as a nickname when they were kids, and when Pebbles came out he chose that as his name. Moon cried about it. Also I just like the whole “transmasc w a silly name” thing bc I feel like it fits him.
Sig helps Pebbles dye his hair (emo mf) but requires that if he helps she gets to put streaks of color in his bangs. It’s usually pink but sometimes she chooses a different color. Sig has the underside of his hair dyed purple. Pebbles’ natural hair color is a pretty light brown.
They all have their cats ofc!! Messenger, Hunter, Arti, and Ruffles!! They were all either strays they found or adopted from a shelter.
That’s all I can think of rn! I wanna draw their designs eventually (and I have but I don’t rlly like them anymore bc OUGHHH I haven’t drawn people in for-goddamn-ever) but yeah!! Damn this got long LMFAO
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dreamsafterhours · 4 years
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college boyfriend!markhyuk au series: III (mark’s pathway)
a universe in which roommates!markhyuk meet each other's s/o in class
markhyuk are roommates, my/n and dy/n are roommates, mark and dy/n take classes together and so do donghyuk and my/n — how will their fates intertwine?
genre: fluff pairings: mark+my/n (fem), donghyuk+dy/n (fem), platonic!mark+dy/n, platonic!donghyuk+my/n format: dotpoint AU universe: non idol, college bf warning: some swearing
masterlist
or click here to meet your soulmate, paediatrics!donghyuk!
II ⇤ | III | ⇥ IV
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III: 별빛이 내린다 샤라랄라랄라라 (2+2=4)
the meeting of two souls: mark & my/n
hi hello good day how are you? i hope you're well today/tonight this is like 3 weeks late isn't it :D pls don't come after me i lost some motivation to write for a while but here i am now so let's get to it!!
aight so you met donghyuk's roommate for the first time yesterday and,,
you honestly had NO IDEA someone could be that cute
highkey regretting not asking for his name but you were so caught up in lingering on the fact that he implied you were pretty , like wHO DOES THAT ASDFKJL
you highkey shouted the verbal equivalent of a keyboard smash with ur roommate and she was all !! oh so this guy cute cute
you were contemplating whether or not to sneakily ask donghyuk for his name but you were worried bc hyuk has,, crazy sense when it comes to reading people and seeing through their words
and honestly you didn’t want to have to deal with hyuk potentially teasing the shit out of u for having a maybe crush on his roommate whom u’d just met
so you just beat your pillow sleep on it after your roommate reminds you it’s getting late and no life decisions should be made after 12am!! live by it
you wake up craving jjajangmyeon but alas if you were to get any satisfaction of that kind of hunger, it was going to have to wait because
~~ we love ~~ packed schedules ~~ in this house ~~
i hopes the sarcasm was noted in that previous sentence bc now u wish for life to cease
4 weeks into the semester and you were drowning in the midst of reports and lab pracs and content and revision
you were ready to ascend to the next life with only regret and an ability to vaguely explain the properties of a prokaryotic cell and endosymbiosis
but honestly donghyuk’s been a big help throughout the past month
your only friend in classes
official study buddy
2am revision session consultant
personal older brother bc he claimed you as his adoptive sister
another reason your roommate told you to go to bed was bc you literally have
a tutorial class + 2 consecutive 1.5 hour lectures + a 3 hour lab class to finish your day off
with no break for lunch in between :’((
looks like you’ll be starving through your library study session with dy/n
but oop
you find that dy/n had stayed up long after you’d fallen asleep writing her essay 
leaving your dorm feeling a twinge of guilt that u might have distracted her from focusing on her work to listen to your rambles and kept her up later than she should have been
but a text from her in the afternoon reassures u that honestly she wasn’t even planning to write that essay and The Feels™ had just hit her last night and that she made it to class
you: oh PHEW that’s good
you: sorry i didn’t wake you up on my way out, u looked so peaceful i couldn’t bear to disturb
dy/n 🦁: dw dw it’s all g i made it n e way
dy/n 🦁: also is it cool if my friend and his friend comes to the study sesh as well we have to go through some lecture content
you: ah yes don’t see why not :)) i’ll probs have my earphones in the entire time anyways lmao won’t affect me
but will it
“who u texting in the middle of diffusion” cue hyuk peering over at the phone you’re hiding in your lap
you click your tongue at him and lock your phone, “someone twice the man you’ll ever be”
he gasps in mock horror like he’d just witnessed a murder as quietly as he can ,,
“you’re texting a guy? in the middle of diffusion?”
“no. my roommate lmao”
“and what? is it me or your roomma—”
“—my roommate” you glance back up at the prof without looking at him
“ouch”
“you dare?”
“if i don’t dare, who will”
and due to this exchange, you miss the osmosis slide
“ah shit what was osmosis again”
“lmfao what makes u think i know that”
(pause)
“isn't it just.. net movement of free water molecules from an area of high concentration to an area of low concentration”
sorry my bio neural pathways are being excited again after being revisited for the first time in two years
/stares at him/ “why was that infuriating to hear from u”
after class you prepare to head to your dreaded 3-hour lab class you have with donghyuk but he stands up and stares into the void blankly
“where am i going”
“where do u think”
“oh, hell, most likely”
you scoff at the accuracy and drag him out of the lecture hall
you look at donghyuk and he’s visibly resisting the urge to poke your cheek when he first puts on his gloves
“what’s with you today”
he stares at his hands forlornly, “idk ask that to my timetable”
“week 4 got u dead huh”
he glances at you with a frown, “don’t act like u’re not dying too”
“damn. touché”
to your dismay, the lab class runs later than scheduled and you get out of it 20 minutes after it was meant to finish but luckily it’s your last class
with a quick goodbye to donghyuk and a text letting dy/n know you were going to be a lil late, u stop by ur dorm to pick up ur textbook before rushing to the library
you were highkey exhausted and just. famished by that point
but a promise is a promise and you weren’t going to back out of one now
especially when you felt like you owed your roommate one and it was you who originally suggested a library session
so you get to the library, bag strap slung over your shoulder, checking the photo of the seats dy/n had saved for you in the library
highkey getting lost once or twice but you manage
you get to the general area and spot dy/n sitting at a four-seater (wow how’d they get that) but you
freeze when you see who’s sitting next to her
it’s ??
????????
????????????????
/error 404/
????????????????
????????
ur heart goes into panic mode bc
it’s not even kidding it’s donghyuk’s roommate
and despite ur brain short-circuiting
you manage to remember that dy/n had said that mentioned her friend’s.. roommate.. also coming along..
and if her friend was donghyuk’s.. roommate..
you: :                             )
you: oh my god they were roommates
and speak of the devil
“oh hey fancy seeing u here”
you turn around and it’s donghyuk legit chills right there
you barely reply a “hi”
“i thought u were going to ur dorm for dinner”
“ah yeah—no i’m.. gonna go over some.. diffusion”
“oii! over here dude” his roommate whisper-yells out at donghyuk
dy/n waves at you “heYY my/n”
donghyuk waves and turns back to you “welp i’m gonna join a study group.. you could join if you came alone? i’m sure they won’t mind”
“about that”
“u waiting for someone?”
“i’m going over there too”
“what?”
he glances over at the table and then back to you
“that’s my roommate. right there next to your roommate”
you point her out and then donghyuk’s jaw drops
“what the fUC—” and you both. burst iinto laughter at the ridiculousness of the situation
like ?? how???
“wOW r u KIDDING”
“HOW DOES THIS HAPPEN”
“talk about a coincidence.. oh my god my cheekbones hurt” he says as he clutches his side
so you get to the table and dy/n tries to introduce u to donghyuk’s roommate
“mark, this is my/n, my/n this is mark”
ah yes so mark is his name, you think
cute name for a cute boi
“nice to meet you again, mark”
dy/n: “?? again?”
mark gives u a rlly wide smile “yeah we’ve met. hi my/n”
you swear you’ve never had your heart flutter like this
fdksoafjadgioarigilf
then mark introduces dy/n to donghyuk and they start talking about how they’re your legal guardian and telling the other to “get in line”
leaving you in middle like “ok mum and dad” but also thinking back to when donghyuk was highkey flirting with you,, and now how he’s flirting with dy/n ,, oh dude he’s flirting
and highkey ,,, you don’t have any hard feelings about it ,, you know she’s also got this kind of humour code and she’s far more comfortable with meeting new people
until dy/n jokes about custody rules and donghyuk replies with “who says we’re split”
ok mum and dad
n e ways you came to study and study you will
so you settle down and go through your notes for the day
albeit being a lil distracted by mark who sits right across from you somehow, somewhy,,
somewhy should be a word you can’t tell me how to english
you keep wanting to steal glances at him but you have to physically restrain yourself from doing so
and also donghyuk who keeps poking u under the table and texting u even though he’s right next to you
💩hyuk: bro
💩hyuk: bro
💩hyuk: bro
💩hyuk: bro
💩hyuk: bro
you: wHAT
💩hyuk: nvm lol
you: im boutta slap u. give me my pen back i saw that
💩hyuk: damn
💩hyuk: also r u hungry
you: terribly
you: why
💩hyuk: does ur roommate have any allergies
you: not that i know of
you: again
you: why
you: u buyin?
💩hyuk: 🤡<- you
💩hyuk: 🤡, how do you feel about dinner
you: invalid question. no variable answer
💩hyuk: alright, 🤡. im not buying for u
you glower at him but he isn’t looking at u,, he leans back and laments about how he’s craving chinese food
did he read your damn mind how did he know
and apparently he’s read dy/n’s mind too at how she jumps up at the mention of chinese and agrees profusely
so you find yourself abandoning your studies for the rest of the night and in a restaurant lmfao
“chill,, guys,,, jjajang is fine”
rock paper scissors for the cheque ends in mark’s tears
“no it’s ok. i’m ok it’s our first meeting as a fateful group and it makes sense! for me to pay”
after you satisfy your cravings the boys walk dy/n and you back to your dorm
mark tells dy/n to give him her bag for him to carry and while she practically gives it up to him, he has to insist that he’ll carry yours too
to which you’re like omg no it’s fine i can carry it it’s not that heavy i swear—
until donghyuk takes ur bag off ur shoulder and passes it to mark
because of the narrow path, you’re forced to walk in pairs and you end up walking next to donghyuk who makes happy sounds about how good that food was and how priceless mark’s face was when he lost rock paper scissors
then dy/n takes the initiative to make a group chat for you four,, asking for donghyuk’s number to add
you give her a look like damn gurl but you have no idea if she saw or if she just ignored you on purpose lmfao
also donghyuk looked way too happy afterwards
either way you slapped her when you got back to the dorm like “SINCE WHEN WERE YOU SO ?? BRAVE?”
dy/n: um
dy/n: honey
dy/n: have you met me
and thus the chaos of a group chat was born and just like a real child, you spent hours on it
dy/n 🦁: ok we inside
you: thanks for dinner again mark!
💩hyuk: he says you’re welcome
💩hyuk: i say we “accidentally” lose our purses next time we go out
you: nah you’re paying next
💩hyuk: y
💩hyuk: y, 🤡
dy/n 🦁: yes y, 🤡
dy/n 🦁: HAHAH WHY IS SHE 🤡
💩hyuk: i thought you of all people would know
dy/n 🦁: why is she just as dumb in class as she is in the dorm?
💩hyuk: i knew it
dy/n 🦁: she poured too much hot water into her tea the other day it overflowed and spilt onto her foot
mark: oh no were u okay
💩hyuk: looks like you’re gonna have to study osomsis
💩hyuk: osmoiss
💩hyuk: fuck
you: yes i’m okay it wasn’t that hot i had socks on too
💩hyuk: osmosis
dy/n 🦁: avoided tragedy luckily
💩hyuk: finally
you: there is a reason you’re saved as 💩hyuk on my phone
dy/n 🦁: HAAHAHAHAHHAHAH
seriously you just don’t know just how much this group was going to mean to you yet
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click here to meet your soulmate, paediatrics!donghyuk!
II ⇤ | III | ⇥ IV
shoot me an ask if you’d like to be tagged in future parts!
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pepprs · 4 years
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c*ronavirus tw under the cut
[[MORE]]
im so fucking anxious abt c*ronavirus and i dont reallt kbow whats happening w it and im trying to stay informed but im scared abt this i really am. it’s all over the world and ppl doing study abroad in the most affected countries are getting sent home and like. god it feels kinda selfish bc ppl are literally getting sick and dying from this but im finally starting to feel comfortable here and im just so scared im gonna get sent home right when im finding my groove and starting to savor it. i put so much time and money into getting here and there’s been so impossibly much ive had to overcome and now it’s like... god there’s brexit and the strikes and windstorms every 5 seconds and now this and im just terrified and if they ban travel my mom and marcie might not be able to come visit me and. god i don’t wanna jinx anything by posting / thinking abt it cuz im superstitious like that but im just thinking abt all these kids in my situation who suddenly have their semester abroad ripped out of their hands and it’s like what the fuck do u do w that? after everything? and im so scared it’s gonna happen 2 mr it’s making my heart pound and i gotta go to bed i know i do but i just so desperately hope it doesn’t get worse. for more reasons than just that obviously like the devastation it’s causing is awful. but also i just.. i can feel myself starting to heal and grow and im terrified to lose this now
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Hi!! idc which character but could I maybe get some like trauma comfort headcanonnons?? If not that’s totally okay, no pressure!! I hope you have a lovely day/night!
heck yea man
time to indulge y’all in my fantasies of someone comforting me when i open up to them about all the baggage i have 
mm.. i think im gonna do short headcanons for all four bmc boys because theyre just. my immediate comfort characters when it comes to writing
if someones interested ill do more hcs for the gals tho!
all of these are about opening up whoopsies
so uhhh lets start w the fact im not gonna try to specify said trauma. if i do, dont rly… put too much thought into it. but im gonna try to keep the event itself a blank slate.
jeremy heere
i think jeremy’s the kind of dude who like. doesnt know how to respond at first? like… when you open up to him, he’s more shocked than anything
not because you’re opening up to him (although he would always have a small ‘they really trust me, dont they?’ internal moment) but because of what happened to you
and to establish it: going into this relationship, he was aware of your baggage. you warned him the moment things started getting serious between you two, and you had never elaborated
but here he is, sitting next to you in his bedroom one hot, summer night in the summer between sophomore and junior year
and you finally open up to him, and he just… stares at you at first. it’s very nerve-wracking because you just kinda told him and you set out to apologize
when he just sorta. gently takes your hand and apologizes that you had to go through that
and he probs make a small comment that he’s glad you’re comfortable enough and trust him enough to tell him this since he knows from experience that opening up isnt the easiest thing in the world. 
and hes soft. theres no kisses to make things better, nothing more than him maybe holding you if you’re comfortable with it - because his stomach sorta dropped the moment you said what happened and kissing you in this instant would feel… wrong
he’s just very gentle. every move he makes with you, he asks you first for consent - whether it’s just him asking to hold you, or asking if you’d be okay with sleeping next to him again right after you told him all of this because sometimes reliving that sort of thing can mess a person up
more than anything, jeremys extremely understanding and gentle when it comes to comforting you. he might press a kiss into your hair, but that’s the most romantic he’d ever get at this time
michael mell
michael, on the other hand, is good for distractions. so you two are sitting in his car, driving aimlessly for a bit because sometimes, when neither of you can sleep, you go on quiet car rides together and maybe ramble or just listen to music
and something about that night made you want to open up. you ask him to pull over and he probably makes some small joke until he does so and sees the way you’re looking at him
and he listens. he goes dead silent as he listens to you tell him everything - which isnt like michael. usually he’s much more expressive, but here? here he’s just quiet. and he stays quiet until you’re through.
and i think he’d immediately pull you into a hug if he knew you’d be okay with it. and he apologizes over and over and tells you that as long as he’s here, he’s not going to let that happen to you again if he can help it.
and he traces circles in your back as he just holds you, and maybe you’re quiet or maybe you’ve gone silent and retreated inward - but he holds you nonetheless
and when he pulls away, he smiles at you and asks if you wanna keep talking about this or if you wanna just go back to riding and pointing out stupid signs around town or if you just want to go home
and if you want, he’s happy to distract you with dumb stories that happened in his classes last semester - and about how one of his professors seems to never be where he’s expected to be, joking about how he’s totally a cryptid 
and its sweet. he doesnt force you to open up anymore than you already want to, but theres this moment where he starts to go quiet because what you told him really starts to eat away at him
and he finally looks over at you and he just… he says he loves you. maybe he’s said it a few times before, or maybe he’s said it a million - but it feels so much more weighted in that moment that you probably start crying
and he pulls over again to comfort you and its just… really soft and sweet and good
jake dillinger
jakey d, the light of my life. i like to think that when he shows up to your apartment one afternoon, he’s sorta joking about how this is pretty early for a booty call yknow-
you just sorta laugh along with him, sorta forcing yourself to stay happy until you finally sit down with him
and he knows. he knows you’ve been through something because, like i said with jeremy, you would have told him beforehand that you have baggage.
and i think he, out of the four, is the most unsure about how to respond. because sure, jake broke both his legs and had to deal with the aftermath of losing his house and everything he had, and the squips and the shit that follows in a situation like that, but… he’s never hurt like that and he just doesnt know what to say
and i dont think he does
i think he probably literally excuses himself to the bathroom and immediately starts googling how to respond when someone opens up
and he probably texts his friends asking how should he respond when someone opens up to him about their past trauma
and when he finally comes back to you, he sees you’ve kinda broken down a bit because - fuck, how else could you really respond when your boyfriend has to leave because he just doesnt have a response and you assume that hes gonna leave you because of your baggage
and i think hes immediately in front of you, sorta kneeling in front of the couch and apologizing profusely because he left
and he admits that he didnt know how to respond because he didnt… expect that you’d open up to him like this
and then he sorta apologizes and clarifies that like… he just didnt know what to say
and you start to apologize because fuck, thats a lot to drop on a person-
he stops you. he gently holds your hands and looks you in the eye and he promises that this didnt change anything. you’re still you, and he still loves you - no matter what you’ve faced in the past. and he thanks you for trusting him. 
and he also just apologizes again because he didnt mean to scare you when he walked out - he was just… scared of saying the wrong thing, or not saying anything at all, right after you told him what happened to you
but he still loves you and he makes sure thats clear
rich goranski
out of the four, rich is probably the most equipped when it comes to trauma. hes dealt with a lot of shit and has gotten a lot of help for his shit and so he has a vague idea of how to like… respond, basically.
so when he finds you crying in the kitchen at three in the morning, he immediately knows something is off.
youve talked about things before. about having baggage, hinting at your past, but you never outright told him what happened to you to make you so distrusting of people, and so bitter about the most mundane things that feels like its destroying your friendships
so when you open up to him about what happened, hes quiet. he lets you talk and he asks you what you need right now - comfort, a distraction, ect - because everyone is different and he wants to make sure he’s doing whats best for u
and he’s more than happy to do what you need him to. he probably sits down across from you and takes your hand for a moment to tell you he’s glad you trust him enough to open up about this
because honestly, rich probably has had those talks before with him opening up about his own shit - mostly finally opening up about everything to therapists and them thanking him for being trusting enough to open up about this trauma he’s gone through
so its just… something he feels is right to do in the moment
and i dont think rich has 100% opened up about the squip to you at this point. hes been meaning to, and he wants to, but he’s talked about having some shit in his past and hes been waiting until he was ready to tell you - mainly whenever he was sure y’all are serious bc he doesnt just wanna open up to just anybody, yknow?
he kinda wants to be able to envision a future there
but i think ultimately this ends w rich and u going back to bed with rich holding you and sorta aimlessly rambling about how much he loves you like the sleepy dumbass he is
and its just… very soft
thats all ive got sfkshdf but thank u for this request it was nice to write something like this since idk i have a lot of fantasies about things like this
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ca1e70-deactivated · 4 years
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a list of my entirely way too niche headcanons ive actually implemented for everyones imagination:
name options ive used and refuse to retire: david elizabeth strider (sometimes i dont feel like being a douche to others and saying thats not his name), harley davidson strider, and david james strider for the sake of simplicity
im not gonna tell yall the like. oc exes ive given him bc thatll take eighteen years. 
i dont rlly have an explanation on the ghost thing besides the fact he just can? ive occasionally pulled from family ghost stories and experiences bc i somehow got landed with family members who lived in a haunted house for a decade and enjoy scaring me with all the stories (including the time my cousin literally died on the kitchen floor from a bronchial spasm and one of the friends that was over asked my aunt later what was up with the old man she saw in the corner of the room that night - my cousin is fine btw shes just a huge bitch and a third grade teacher and i dont like her)
whether or not hes done drugs is based on absolutely nothing besides how im feeling in that moment. either hes the designated driver and sober friend forever or he got fired from his job after doing a line at work during graveyard with some random customers theres no inbetween (this absolutely happened @ waho. if dave works at waho hes a mess of a person and thats on the diner itself.)
ok look i hc dave w/schizophrenia besides when i was 14 i had a hyperfixation with learning about it and then at 16 was prescribed a medication and had side effects so wack my therapist genuinely thought 14 yr old me was onto something and its a weird way to cope with the idea that lady put in my head that i might “develop it in my twenties” which i turn 20 this year and i havent been able to stop obsessing and panicking over the prospect so PLEASE dont come in my inbox calling me ableist im not out here all harley quinn in suicide squad with the voices ok hes medicated, he goes to therapy, the hard fast delusion that lil cal was nearly sentient and informed bro of every single thing dave did no matter how asinine it was is no longer a debilitatingly affecting him ANYWAYS
i actually use the chicken/egg farming family pretty often just because its hilarious to me to give dave like. an actual mom and dad. hes literally an uncle to like three different kids he just never visits because they make fun of his skinny jeans and he hates one of his (incredibly bare-bones ocs all of them) brothers who threatened to bash his head in with a little league bat after dave broke his star wars lego set apart on accident (but not rlly) so their parents were like “why dont you stay with your brother in the big city for a lil while champ” and then they just never picked him back up? and thats on favoritism 
the other one is that his name is actually david reed and hes the middle child of a family of three who literally live the standard golden retriever white middle class life only they went to disney land or something equally as dumb one year when dave was like 6 and he wandered off so bro literally just went “huh free game” because frankly he was an idiot who thought maybe i should take this kid home because its real dangerous in parking lots and then it was too late to NOT have it seem like a kidnapping and thats why daves never had a summer job, seen his birth certificate, or gone to school. but vaguely remembers what kindergarten was like and having a pet dog and calling someone mom as a kid. 
im not making a bullet point about his sex life headcanons just use your imagination and acknowledge the fact bro essentially worked within the sex industry and i enjoy putting dave through trauma as a catharsis 
i stopped doing this one usually but if he did go to school hes been in percussion since fifth grade and played the drums in his high schools jazz band as well as various edgy teenager garage bands he likes to pretend dont have a youtube presence and that hes absolutely never been shirtless in front of plenty of his classmates because he wore a hoodie to a show like an idiot. idk occasionally ill put him in an actual band he doesnt hate but keeps separate from his lil turntechGodhead internet persona (which i will ALSO touch upon in a sec) until they wind up getting looped into a tour with some bigger named band that has a show in *insert beta kid here*’s city and hes gotta come clean solely so he can visit his online friend. sorry derseasterous thats the one time weve ever run into each other and i made him have a crush on one of his bandmates i was in my anti-daverose phase where i made dave a hoe and also didnt want to admit i still loved the ship all these years later 
i hate it so much but you know the whole vr loli trap voice shit that was popular a while ago? hes fucking baller at it for some reason. he did it as a joke while talking to bro and they both about shat their pants. if im feeling real ambitious, hes got a separate soundcloud solely dedicated to doing dumbass rap covers or making his own but in the voice under the pseudonym elizabeth “beth” davids that he will never admit is his. well, he will, but hes gonna be really fucking embarrassed about it. irony or not.
talking abt seperate soundclouds and stuff ive always had it where turntechGodhead was his like. essentially internet fucking persona facade shit he used because we all had that phase where we wanted memorable urls and stuff but also didnt want to totally ignore the nagging fear of people finding you in real life, until it turned into real life ppl finding you on the internet. so he also has basically an adjacent set of social media under the same name but its just a boring username i havent decided on so everyone he knows irl doesnt mix up with what hes made for himself as TG and the people he knows as TG dont know what highschool he goes to. (this occasionally comes with the territory of ppl on parp being pissed that daves “lying” or “hiding things” from his friends as if he was doing it out of spite instead of just keeping embarrassing tagged photos and videos from football games or when he ate shit at the skatepark from fucking with his “rap career”)
every once in a while i get on a kick where hes just german. like, i just replace houston texas with hamburg germany and have him apply to a university in whatever state is applicable for whoever im chatting with and it goes from there? sometimes he moved when he was little and went through the whole visa thing, sometimes he didnt go through the visa thing, sometimes hes a dual citizen because of family and shit, its all dependent on what suits the situation best. 
one that ive been fucking with for a while but hardly break out (until recently with like 5 roses in the span of one day hell yeah) is that he has a neighbor at the end of the hall who is like a thousand year old witch lady that hes basically adopted as his mother figure in lieu of not having one and shes totally cool with it, especially bc when she kicks the bucket she fully plans on giving dave all her occult stuff so her figure-skating coach and realtor daughter doesnt sell it at a garage sale and lets it all go to waste. she also once brought rose up by name in a conversation without any prompting of her existence which dave didnt realize for days, and then one time cryptically stopped and stared at an empty space in the wall, went “she has potential, you know.” then looked at him sitting on her kitchen counter with a smile “lots of it” and hes thought about that weekly ever since. (it is important to note one of the occult items he leaves her is literally her own personal book of shadows shes been filling out for decades its like a 600 page leatherbound book dave has no idea what its used for but the sheer amount of homemade spells and etc in it is like. gonna murder rose the second this chick gets her hands on it i promise you.)
theres the standard strife shit? im not rlly gonna get into those theyre all basically cookie cutter bullshit. its just standard bro and dave abuse talk. i like to inclulde the whole 24hr live cam up in the apartment that definitely watches dave in every room besides his own and the bathroom, but that quickly delves into the prospect of middle-aged men stalking him online and basically sexually harassing him in his own god damn home by talking about how they can see him just trying to take his shoes off in the living room after getting home and frankly? its not one of my best takes! but once you throw it into the headcanon bin, its there forever. 
he actually really does do something with his photography but not enough to warrant anything exciting, but he has his own branding for it and regularly takes pictures of his friends or anything else he thinks is moderately interesting enough to take pictures of, but those are just thrown into shoeboxes under his bed in favor of posting genuine shots because he wants to keep his image intact and blurry photos of jade smiling in the tree they climbed up together while bec paws at the base of it while whining isnt exactly something he wants the whole world to see.
i also pretty often but him into either paleontology OR i put him down as trying to become a mortician because he thinks handing roadkill once he graduated from museum giftshop specimens to doing his own taxidermy on the side has prepared him enough to perform an occasional autopsy and start embalming real human corpses. (sometimes i put my own desires in and make them his bc i have to project at some point and put him through the same EMT course i dropped out of bc it was one semester and he already has pretty decent first aid skills, but he definitely didnt expect it to be as fucking wild at times as it is, but whats he gonna do? get a job back at waffle house? the company hes working for just offered to pay like half his associates in paramedicine tuition and hes already got all his pre-recs done when he started for paleo. at least its a stable job and hes got the ability to be compassionate in the moment) 
im running out of things that ive done to the poor kid. OH 
hes not a virgin he had a girlfriend all four years of high school (shes also one of his optional and designated exes plz keep up) and their relationship ends in one of two ways: she dies in a car accident a week before their high school graduation, or she stops talking to him entirely a week after their high school graduation until a couple years later she gets into (guess what) a car accident with her current wife/girlfriend and dies which leaves behind their daughter. who just so happens to also be daves daughter. her name is hannah and i love her like my own but no one ever likes her and thats on the conditioning of dirk. does dave end up taking her in? yes. shes awesome and the first time he takes her to the park to like run off some fucking steam she disappears for two minutes and dave is moderately terrified until she comes back holding a dead baby squirrel and thats the moment he realizes huh maybe things really do be genetic.
ok at the bottom of the list im gonna add the couple of times hes been a camboy which usually coincides with the live apartment cam thing and the amount of people in his dms calling him hot or whatever, but typically its more of a started the day he turned 18 and basically dipped around 20 in favor of showing up randomly with no warning to complain about a video game dick in hand because it gives him an outlet that wont annoy his friends bc this is the fifteenth time hes had a lot to say this week about a certain boss battle and also the comments fuel his ego and daddy issues.
the last one wasnt the bottom but literally unless its explicitly proven otherwise every time anyone rps with me there is the underlying fact dave strider was a goalie on his high school lacrosse teams all four years and (shocker another one) definitely had the hots for one of his teammates like major hots like first gay experience hots. like it was painfully obvious that teammate also liked him back hots. like one night at a team sleepover one of the other guys was like can yall just makeout and get it over with were fucking tired and dave really had the balls to be offended and ask what the fuck they were talking about while literally sitting halfway in the mans lap bc for some reason they had to share the same chair. 
he is also guilty until proven innocent of being the worlds biggest loner outside of that sports team and even though hes literally a jock he still opts to eat his lunch alone in the hallway or something like that and has a tendency to leave girls on read, but bc hes got an in with the rest of the jocks hes basically drug around to plenty of parties and since hes conventionally attractive enough and popular in the aloof way that he is, hes got plenty of tagged insta posts and twitter directs and snapchat streaks going. 
THESE WERE ALL NO GAME AND DONT INVOLVE SHIPS BC I LIKE TO KEEP MY OPTIONS OPEN AND THEYRE LITERALLY ALL BASED OFF RPS IVE DONE I HOPE YALL JUDGE ME ACCORDINGLY
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starssystems · 6 years
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if anybody wants to know what’s going down right now /// why i’ve been so absent, feel free to click the read more! if you don’t, scroll on past, no worries! i’m doing my best to get back here more!
okay so hello fam squad who actually wanted to read this what’s up. this is gonna be a whole lotta rambling bc ya girl doesn’t know how to Words. anYWAYS okay here goes. my junior year of high school i visited the university that i currently go to to see if i wanted to attend. i’m a film major, and they promised me they’d have a fully consolidated film program by the time i was a freshman. then, right before my freshman year, the state pulled its film tax credit, and my school’s film program went to shit. they’ve been telling me for two years now that it’ll be fully consolidated next semester, next semester, next semester. and frankly ya girl is Fed Up. i’m currently a theatre major but like... i care about theatre i just dont want to work in it you feel ???
anywAYS my friend situation at my current university kinda sucks too like... i’m in a sorority right ??? and i have “””””friends”””””” but like .... they kinda suck like this year on my birthday they all went out to get their nails done without me bc i couldn’t afford it and they didn’t go a day before or a day after they just left me alone and like there’s six of them and then me right ?? and they all have boyfriends so they all spend their weekends with their boyfriends and i sit there in my bed alone and it sucks. my big and my little are great but like ... that’s it
SO ive been looking into transferring schools. right now i go to school 16.5 hours away from home which highkey suCKS. i was just touring THE Big university that like a majority of people from my high school go to and also my dad went to and also my brother might be going to next year. i loved it and put in a transfer app. and now i have to wait two weeks to hear back at the very earliest
meanwhile i gotta figure out how to tell my little and my “””””friends”””” that im leaving if i get in and fuCK that’s stressful. like i don’t think my friends will care that much like they’ll pretend to care but they won’t really care and then my little is gonna care a lot and im trying to figure out how to make it easier on her you feel??? anyways yeah im stressed out but ya know Life
also finals exist and those are happening the first week of may so....yep that’s it
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queenreginascontour · 7 years
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Any tips for being homesick at college? It's been a month and I'm having kind of a hard time
ya totally !!!! i’m always happy to help but i just want u to know that idk ur situation, but i personally don’t go to college too far away from my home (it’s out of state, but about a two hour train ride back). so, i’m not sure how good my advice will be if u life across the country, but i hope it still helps !!!! i’m a freshman and i’ve also been in school for about a month, just for context. gonna put this under the cut bc it might get long.
my number one tip would be to wait at least a month before going home. i knew this going in, but still went home about two weeks in. i’m a pretty independent person, i’m not too attached to my hometown, and i’ve been away from my family for long periods of time before college, so i thought it’d be no biggie. but, going home that weekend was the first time i’d felt homesick. being home made me homesick- it was weird to live out of a suitcase in my own home. i locked myself in my room and started sobbing as soon as i walked inside. don’t get me wrong, i love my college and had by no means been having a bad time, but i think that it was so early that i had not had enough time to adjust to college life yet, and coming home just reminded me of all the things i was missing- my dog, sleeping in a room with just myself, having alone time, driving, food, a sink that had knobs and didn’t need to have a hand constantly waved in front of it to release water. the week after that weekend was kind of a disaster- for example, i was off campus one day and went to the maps app to put in directions for something. u kno how it always shows how long it would take to get home from ur current location ? since arriving to college, that banner had always read something along the lines of “2 hours to get home.” that day, i noticed that it said “38 minutes to get home,” was greatly confused, and realized that maps had begun to recognize my campus as “home.” i deadass had a panic attack bc of that shit. that being said, i’m actually home for  columbus (ew) day weekend right now, and i’m having a totally different experience. i’ve had adequate time to adjust and i actually kind of miss college right now. so, if you’re in the position where you can go home readily, wait at least a month. also, remember that your home will always be your home, no matter what apple maps says. your home is your home, but college can become home too.
i also want to stress the importance of keeping busy and going off campus. i kind of blacked out and signed up for like half the shit at the club fair. i obviously didn’t stick w all of them, but some good did come out of it- for example, i’m writing for an (actual) blog and i got a job “teaching” a class at the high school across the street from my campus. these two things in particular have kept me pretty busy, and i think it’s really good to have things to occupy urself other than schoolwork. i’m also p shy around new ppl and have never made the first move in any kind of friendship or relationship, but those things and clubs have helped me meet a lot of cool ppl, and it’s deffo important to have people to talk to to help w homesickness !! holing urself up in ur room will have the opposite effect and just worsen ur homesickness. sidebar: if u want another post abt being an introvert in college, i can deffo make one.
go off campus !!! im lucky (or unlucky, depending on the person) enough to go to school in a big city, so i can literally go on the subway, get off at a random stop, and find something to do. even if ur in a smaller town, go out and explore ! not only will it keep u from feeling trapped in ur campus, it will help u make ur college town ur second home. find a restaurant that u love and can confidently recommend to people when they visit, become a regular at a coffee shop. also, find little hidden nooks and crannies- off campus or on- that can become ur “spot.” going to school in a big city, i really wanted to find some undiscovered gems where i could just go to chill for a bit and get out of all the noise and the pervasive smell of halal, roasting nuts and sewage. i wandered around one saturday and found some places to call my own, and it’s really helped make college feel more like my second home.
eat !! im still working on this one tbh. im getting better, but for most of my days in school, ive consumed less than 1000 calories per day as a result of being too lazy to go get food, not wantjng dining hall food, and not having anyone to eat with. this is not healthy !!!!! ive had terrible headaches and had trouble focusing in classes. it made me feel shitty about college in general. it’s not high school anymore- it’s perfectly acceptable to eat alone. it can even be kind of nice after being around people constantly. try to establish a routine, at least for dinner, so it feels more homey.
decorate ur room !! u wont feel at home in a white shoebox. put up posters, pics of ur fam and friends, pics of ur pets.
if you have one/some, bring a stuffed animal !! i have a stuffed rabbit that i’ve had since i was a baby, and i brought him. i kind of hid him at first, but i eventually noticed that my roommate and a lot of other ppl have one too and we had a good laugh about it. there’s no shame in it ! everybody wants a little comfort.
if u want to, don’t be afraid to call/facetime ur parent(s)/guardian(s)/hometown friends/siblings/anyone u love !!! i didnt at first bc i didnt want to look weak. but there’s no shame in it- literally everyone does it or wants to. plus, hearing from u would make ur people’s day, i promise !
remember, whether they show it or not, everyone feels a little homesick and out of place in college. sometimes, it goes away in the first week, but for others it could last for both semesters. it’s ok to feel how ur feeling. i know these are kind of generic tips, but i hope this helps !!! i love u, and im always here if u want to talk !!!!! good luck b !!
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thenightisland · 7 years
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you know the drill:
this is becoming like its own series but idk how else to explain this awful year i don’t even feeling like properly linking so here’s just the URLs of the other ones in the series: 1. http://thenightisland.tumblr.com/post/161087786689/explanationsupdates-under-the-cutmore-i 2. http://thenightisland.tumblr.com/post/161920216354/additional-updatesexplanations-under-the-cut 3. http://thenightisland.tumblr.com/post/163767959805/updates-under-the-cutmore-post-one-post-two-on 4. http://thenightisland.tumblr.com/post/164398486219/on-the-fourth-edition-of-what-the-fuck-is
one of the assessors got jumped a while back. she was just walking past a pt in the main assessment dept and he jumped up, punched her in the back of the head, took her to the ground and beat the fuck out of her. she was out for weeks and weeks and had broken facial bones. i can’t believe she didn’t quit.
our nurse executive quit though. not like, went prn or gave two weeks notice, like just straight up was like I’M DONE and walked out which honestly is the closest i’ve ever come to respecting him.
while having more psychologically unstable pts isn’t new, having more medically unstable pts has been a problem lately. like our crash cart is not like a medical hospital’s crash cart it’s like. an ambu bag some iv supplies and a stethoscope no lifesaving medications. when a pt has a medical issue we send them out to a medical hospital because obv we don’t have the resources to treat complex medical issues where we work. which didn’t used to be an issue because you’d used to see maybe two medical codes a year on my unit. we’ve had /ten/ since my last update post /just on my shift/. two of which weren’t even “pt is going downhill fast” codes they were “pt has no heartbeat and isn’t breathing” like we had to fucking bring two people back from the goddamn dead /within ten minutes of each other/. we’re all like we’re psych nurses man if we wanted to do this shit we’d work er. [and the er we’re required to send these pts to is awful like they sent us back a guy who had almost died twice in three days who had an /untreated brain tumor/ bc obv he’s totally fine]. or we’ve been doing mash unit style medicine like the suicidal kid with partial thickness burns all over his chest and neck that literally no one was doing anything about. we were debriding burns with a mixture of different PO IM and SQ drugs to achieve the same effect as IV morphine because debriding is extremely painful but not doing it will just make things worse and no one else seemed to care so we just fucking did it. like we’ve done so much medical nursing lately. like the one with the uncontrolled severe seizures that led to the medical hospital labeling her first break schizophrenia despite no family history of mental illness but /five different medical issues that all cause psychosis/. or the one they let on the unit despite being on the do not readmit who has untreated hiv that he actively tries to give to other people and /active tuberculosis/. or the one with the aneurysm. or the one with severe CHF. and on and on and on. and remember: we’re not the most medically unstable unit in the hospital because we have a 40 bed /geriatric psych unit/ so you can imagine the kind of pts /they’re/ getting. on the plus side, all of our ten odd codes lived.
my personal life is still a goddamn mess, of course, but that’s a given. don’t even know where to begin with all that. and i can’t talk about a lot of it which makes it that much more fun.
i had an entire crisis about the odyssey [which tbh is still kind of going on even after /weeks/] because i’m getting so cagey in memphis because i fucking hate this town. and i just got back from new orleans which is the closest thing i have to an ithaca at the moment and it killed me to come back to this fucking city.
i’m also really paranoid right now because after i come back from vacations, something terrible always happens and i’m not exaggerating it’s like clockwork to the point that the bad things have all happened between friday and sunday after i’ve returned from my vacation, each time, without fail. well that would be this weekend so i am just waiting to see what great horrors await me this goddamn time. [last time, it was the whole coworker killed in vehicular homicide thing]. but i guess paranoia isn’t the right word. you’re only paranoid if you’re wrong, and my life has already set the precedent. so i guess anxious is the better word.
the anxiety is increased given that my mother has been out of work all week because they’ve had trouble regulating her blood sugar and so she’s been really sick and even said so herself she’ll probably end up in the er over the weekend because she doesn’t think she can make it till her next doc appt because she’s miserable, and she’s already been in the er once when this weird shit started happening a month or so ago so the Vacation Curse has me even more concerned than usual, which is saying something. 
there’s a new psych doc working now and everyone is really unsettled by him and we’re pretty sure he’s a genuine psychopath like completely without exaggeration and he’s already done a lot of really creepy things to/with staff members and one nurse said in passing “i’ve known a lot of doctors like him he’ll end up fucking a pt at some point” which we initially left to hyperbole but he’s been doing shit like transporting female pts to other units without the staff’s consent in his own car which is like all kinds of not allowed, and the way he talks to some of the staff is just downright rapey honestly. and so we had a rough case this summer who, through the combined efforts of my squad, we got her from a diagnosis of intellectual disability with schizophrenia, nonverbal, self harming all the time, history of physical and sexual abuse, constantly in restraints and on a 1:1 obs level to a new diagnosis of autism spec with ptsd because her “hallucinations” were /flashbacks/ and she ended up very social and verbose and like fucking read william blake for fun and had a great sense of humor and was off all special observations and had a transfer to another facility pending so she could get more 1:1 long term therapy, and the creepy doctor was covering her case while her actual doc was out of town and he rode all the way to the other hospital with her which is another thing you do not do, and we found out from a coworker that she is now a /2:1/ [two staff members within arm’s reach 24/7], self harming again, in full shutdown/meltdown mode, and nonverbal. and it was such a rapid deterioration that all of us lost sleep over the possibility that this creepy doctor might have done something because even after she was at the other hospital and therefore no longer our pt, /he kept going to see her/. which fucked us up a lot because we were the ones who worked so hard for so long with her. like even the thought of it.
recently had 25th birthday so naturally had a crisis about that because i’d always said my goal was to be out of memphis by 25 and yet here we are. 
another of our fave pts, esp one of /my/ fave pts, died out of literally nowhere. the day before my birthday. so that was great.
also felt really surreal to see the news about the convictions in the holly bobo case, which i found out about when one of my coworkers was reading the news on his phone during a lull one night i forgot that to him and everyone else it’s a national news story [hell it even has its own wikpedia page] but to me it’s just /holly/ because she was /in the class above me in our nursing program/. my first semester in college i remember seeing her face on missing posters on every building on campus. so it was really a weird moment of dissociation for me. glad the motherfucker was found guilty on all charges, obv. 
the tech of mine who got his skull slammed into the floor, the one who’s been out with what can only be called severe psychological trauma, is supposed to be coming back the third week in october. which i just. i mean i’m glad because he’s one of our best guys, but i’m also like /why the fuck would he come back/ because he could be a fucking english professor again. motherfucker spent part of his youth growing up in italy and montreal, lived on the west coast for years, /was/ a college professor, did time as a script doctor in LA, and was a fucking thriller novelist who just gone girled himself for whatever reason and ended up working with us. there’s literally a reddit thread asking if anyone knows what happened to him and i want to be like don’t worry it’s fine he works with me. but so we’re like why would you come back to this place after what happened to you when you have so many other options available to you????? what are you running from that makes you so desperate to keep centering your life around a locked acute psych ward???? why did you gone girl yourself to begin with??? like he was screwed up enough there for a while that he wasn’t even answering his calls or texts and our boss had to send the police to do welfare checks on him because he lives alone so it’s like man why not go back to the life you had before and /get away from all of this/ it’s not like my situation where i’d rather be living a different life but have never done so, he already has the foundation because he’s already lived a different life he has an in that i don’t have and i can’t for the life of me figure out why he thinks working as an acute pysch tech is the better option. 
but i mean. we /do/ call our unit the hotel california for a reason.
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terumiafuro · 7 years
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bleh 
god today i’m just... very stressed about my future and it’s really multifaceted. it’s definitely partly bc my anxiety is High bc something reminded me of my trauma the other day so last night was somniphobia central but even after taking a 2 hr nap (i wasnt sleeping all two hours but im def more well-rested) i’m just... blergh
for one dunkin didn’t give me a straight answer about if i’m coming back, like i literally went there this morning and talked to the assistant manager face to face and she said they were reviewing applications so they’d pull mine up from last year and then she asked about my availability which makes me think that it’s gonna be like, they give me the weird hours no one wants? and last year part of why i liked the job was bc getting shifts out of the way in the morning was REALLY nice, bc then i was awake and i had the afternoons free, but if she has me closing regularly or god forbid opening (opening shifts at dunks start at 3:30-4:30 AM depending on the day) like i genuinely just... might not do it? and if they don’t get back to me i have to try to find a seasonal job within like 2 months while being literally 500 miles away
and part of me just doesn’t want to get a job bc asking for time off/working out schedules last summer was so immensely stressful and maybe it’ll be less so with a COMPETENT manager but since they’ve been so obtuse with communications i doubt it and i just. i just want a nice relaxing summer? school has been so absurdly stressful for me and like frankly, i’m miserable 90% of the time? the only reason i’ve kind of taken transferring to a school in maryland (like jhu most likely bc its the only one at like the same level) off the table is bc ive had SUCH good experiences with classes and professors, esp in the department i want to major in. and it sucks so much bc this was my DREAM school, i cried for hours after getting in i was so happy, but i’m miserable? and like the idea of taking a semester off is just scary as shit bc its just not like... the normal path
and i’m so stressed about my plans long term, my dad tried to have a conversation with me the other day about my plans for the summer and then he was like “and what are your long term plans?” and i mumbled off something about med school maybe or something in public health and he was like “you know, if you really want to do anything in public health you need to be a physician” which is like wow! great! fucking great! and i dipped out of that convo REAL fast but i’ve just been avoiding thinking about med school since my mom and i argued about it when i was home for katsu and she basically said that i shouldn’t be thinking about it for now and it stings so much bc i have NO idea what else i’d do that would make me happy but i don’t know if i can deal with it emotionally, i don’t know if i can deal with the stress of the profession. and i think it’s worse given that like... my dad doesnt get my mental health the way my mom does, he was like, top of his class two varsity sports in hs, played college sports and graduated magna cum laude from college and got his masters and his med degree at a time when med school admissions were super less competitive than they are now and so i think he has this mindset of like “well /i/ did it so why can’t you?”
and like this is something it would be great to talk to my therapist about but i’m in this weird situation where i never went back to seeing my boston therapist bc we didnt mesh but also bc i tricked myself into thinking i was at a point where i could cope with my PTSD on my own and like i guess i could start seeing my md psych again this summer but like? that’s just ANOTHER thing to stress about. i don’t know. today’s not a good day i’m just trying to think through things and the future is scary as shit
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startswithat-blog · 5 years
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Nov 11
happy remembrance day i guess
long time no type, well 3 days but still a few things have happened since we last talked to end off the last post i opened it and he said something along the lines of not now in the future which idk if im hyped about or weirded out but it'll do for now
so yesterday was the big night i ate twoish steaks, showered thinking the night was going to end with me high with some new friends but nope plans went south and im still kinda pissed about it
where to begin okay I was supposed to finally meet T get high with him and his friends and bri was supposed to come with, he friend was supposed to come and we’d go to a party after 
buttt no the friend and party cancelled but hanging at res was still on bri gets into bed i tell her dont fall asleep we need to go she said shell get ready at 9 i get up  to shower at 8:30 i go back down and shes sleeping and im trying my hardest to get her out of bed but nobody can get her to do what she doesnt want to do 
she was all excited for the party but now that its cancelled it doesnt matter about our plans shes all of the sudden exhausted i tried for 30 mins and she starts getting rude and kicking me literally off her bed and i eventually give up and im pissed i say then dont talk to me about anything
all the while T’s snapping me telling me, looking forward to me coming and i had to bail on him bc shes deciding that tonights the night she wants to be a selfish bitch
let me tell you now weve had these plans festering for a week 
and as much i hate to admit care about what people think to an extent so when people are waiting for me expecting me to be somewhere no matter what ill be there unless soemthing serious happens
if i say im gonna do something ill do it yet sis cant say the same
i was pissed and T was snapping me during telling me that we cant not come he already paid for us and in this moment knowing that weve had plans that she said she was gonna commit to people relying on expecting her people have already paid for her this bitch still doesn't come that got me pissed i literally prayed i wouldnt choke her out and hate her forever and swore to myself that i wasnt going to talk to her again
this might be an extra reaction in your eyes yet the true tea is shes done this before frosh week all over again we buy these 40$ braceleet which were just a waste of money bc we didnt go bc she didnt want to and yes ik what youre thinking i couldve went alone then and i couldve went alone now but you know what i suffer from anxiety i
its not as severe i dont think but im uncomfortable in situations where i dont know anyone and its not like i couldve drank to get comfortable bc there was no booze at the parties
but this time i wouldnt have mattered if i was comfortable or not we had plans and she broke them (”you went and broke our lives” a quote from the lovers dictionary i thought of) so with or without the anxiety im still pissed imagine having palns that you and others are looking forward to just for them to get cancelled at the last minute it sucks and when someones being a bitch and acting like theyve done nothing wrong makes it even worse
oh yeah not only are all the people who were expecting us mad, i looked bad and i had to pay him back FOR WEED I DIDNT EVEN SMOKE, MONEY I DIDNT HAVE FOR WEED I DIDNT SMOKE i went to bed not high no new ffriends and pissed one of the worst saturdays to date
the only extra thing that i did yesterday waas believe that we werent gonna speak againa nd that id move
i want to move but im not because she doesnt want to but you know what next semester im leaving whether shes coming or not
its not a product of this i based my living situation completely off of her and where she was going but the tea is the people are weird and its too far especially through the winter
i woke up this morning still mad but as ive proably not mentioned i cant hold a grudge for long not because i have a big heart or whatever but atleast i think because i never could with my mother and it programmed me somehow
im not talking to her and get this im snapping T all about this and he tells me that she snapped me saying sorry and that i wasnt talking to her like ur not gonna apologize but snapping T is gonna change something i was pissed and said her feelings have nothing to do with mine which is the truth i mean i didnt do anything wrong
anyway she comes out and apologizes to me i say whatever ask her if shes paid him back she says she will
i mean i dont think im overreacting it was a shtty thing to do 
soso were talking but im being dry, i mean i want to forgive her and i mostly have but idk it just showed me you cant rely on people 
T’s telling me its fine and i should forget about it and let it go but i wanted to go and the fact that she did killed it for me
now as mad as i was and might sttill be i cant help but to think that maybe eveything happens for a reason i wasnt meant to meet him that night 
i remeber how pissed she was when i accidentally took her case and that was an accident this was purposeful and didnt think how this would effect me it was selfish point blank i think im just pissed that i paid for weed that i didn't smoke and that on tp of eveything she still tells me to clean the bathroom thats also gotta stop her telling me what to do i moved out of my moms house  and i dont plan on returning full time yet here i am
writing about it makes me calm down and i think im gonna forgive i just felt betrayed thats all
i still want to move if not december next semester whther shes coming or not i probably shouldve lived on res or went to trent but whats done is done cant go backwars only ahead 
all that shit aside i spent the day doing absolutely nothing and having another meltdown about how my life was pointless and meaningless and i dont know what im doing with it or where its going so i spent it watching old movies god i wish i knew what my purpose was then i could work towards it and not feel worthless
B went to a meeting almost three hour ago she texted me asking if i was okay and idk why shed ask im not the one outside the house and then her phone ddies 
to be continued
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Liability insurance for an online vitamin store. Do I need it? And how can I get it?
"Liability insurance for an online vitamin store. Do I need it? And how can I get it?
Hi yahoo friends, I have a new website. I want to sell vitamin and supplements. One of a whole sellers asked me for copy of liability insurance. What is it? Do I need it since I sell their products, should the liability go to them? How can I get it? Please help me , if you know the answer. Thank you.
BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://howmuchisinsurance.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 
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Why would they insure that age, you ask. I dunno. Do they?""
Can I get Sprint Insurance?
OK, let's say that I buy a phone for cheap on ebay or radioshack, can I still go to a sprint store and get insurance on the phone or do I have to buy the phone directly at the sprint store in order to get insurance?????""
How much does your insurance go up when you get in a fender bender?
My brother got in a fender bender. He is 16 and got his license about 9 months ago. The other car wasnt badly damaged, just minor. We live in California. Anyone know about how much his insurance policy will go up?""
Any car insurance plans you can cancel or re-activate monthly?
I am a recently licensed teen going to college in a month. I won't be driving that much while I'm there but I want to for the next few weeks and will be when I'm home occasionally. Is there any kind of insurance I can get that will allow me to re-activate the insurance and cancel it on a monthly basis? Or every couple months? My family has Geico but do any other companies have an option like this? In the U.S. only. California driver.
Approximately how much is Home Owners Insurance?
I'm sure it varies by location and value of the house, but approximately how much is homeowners insurance?""
Why is the Infiniti G37S Coupe insurance premium costs so high?
I looked up average insurance premium costs for the G37S coupe, and the cost was over $2600. I then looked up the Infiniti's competitors, the BMW 335i coupe and the Audi S5 4.2 which costs $1900+ and $1800+ respectively. Why is the insurance premium of the G37S so much higher? Thanks in advance.""
""Car Insurance: What are premiums, legal fees and voluntary excess?
I have been trying to get car insurance quotes online but I dont understand what the above terms mean Also if my road tax (UK) is not due for renewal till thursday can i buy it today? Will they adjust the date for me. Any help will be appreciated Thank you for your time
Is there a time limit or statute of limitations on car insurance claims?
I was in an accident in January. It was my fault, I was trying to avoid someone who had swerved into my lane so I got into the left lane really fast to avoid being hit at a high speed ...show more""
Liability insurance for an online vitamin store. Do I need it? And how can I get it?
Hi yahoo friends, I have a new website. I want to sell vitamin and supplements. One of a whole sellers asked me for copy of liability insurance. What is it? Do I need it since I sell their products, should the liability go to them? How can I get it? Please help me , if you know the answer. Thank you.
Does the cost of insuring a car go down when you turn 18?
is it worth waiting a couple of months to my eighteenth birthday to get cheaper car insurance? thanks guys!
Car Insurance Quote..Without a license yet..?
I have just been bought a car for when i pass my driving test, so i do not have a full UK provisional license yet. I have been looking online for insurance quotes, they are expensive which i expected, but i was told that when i have entered my details the system will register that i do not hold a full license with he DVLA (even though i put in that i do, just for the sake of a quote) And this is why the quotes are higher..if i was to do the same when my license was valid it would be much lower. Can anybody add proof to this? Thanks""
""Car insurance, UK QUESTION!!!!!!!!!!?""
UK QUESTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am researching car insurance at the moment, what do you think i can expect to pay? Whats a good insurance company to go with? heres my details... 18 year old female, New driver, Pass plus certificate, Insurance group 5 car, the cheapest ive found is 1246.00 is this a normal amount to have to pay??? Thanks :)""
Do I need to buy auto insurance for my used car dealership?
We are just starting out and wonder if our personal car insurance would cover test drives, or our driving the vehicles. It is a sole proprietorship.""
What type of insurance in Alabama covers the REVERSAL of a bilateral tubal ligation? what is the cost?
What type of insurance in Alabama covers the REVERSAL of a bilateral tubal ligation? what is the cost?
Car insurance estimate?
Hi i'm currently 16 and soon to be old enough to take driving lessons, but first off i have a question. What would be the likely insurance premium for a 2009 BMW Z4 23i kept in a public place with viper alarm system and a steering lock.""
As of next year will all cars older than 7 years have their tax and insurance costs doubled?
A friend of mine told me today that as of next year all cars over seven years old will incur a sharp rise in their tax and insurance costs. he said that they would double. I understand this may happen with tax but it doesnt ring true for insurance. could anybody tell me if he is right or whether he has his wires crossed.
Best car insurance for an independent at age 19?
Best car insurance for an independent at age 19?
Paying for Insurance question?
Okay, is it possible for me to pay for insurance for only a few days rather than a month at a time? If so, how?""
My car insurance rate went down?
after i got a dwi! haha, no question i just wanted to share this epic win! don't worry i won't press my luck and try to lower it a second time.""
Motorcyle prices?
IM thinking about buying a crockrocket. What are the average monthly payments.......ball park... And also, what is an average montly insurance payment?""
Approximately how much is my insurance going to rise?
I am an 18 year old male. I got a ticket for going 10 over about a month ago and got it deferred a week ago. I am on my parents insurance and I pay about $100 a month for insurance. Tonight, I got a ticket for going 17 over on the highway. The first ticket was $124 and the most recent ticket was $174. Help me out here haha, how ****** am I? Also, is there any way for my parents to not find out?""
Health insurance for visitor from india?
Where can I get health insurance for a parent who is undergoing dialysis in India and wants to Visit the USA for a short term. Of course they will need to continue there treatments here while visiting. But we need some kind of assistance while they are here.
Does speeding tickets raise your insurance?
I've gotten 2 speeding tickets this month so I'm worried. Does this raise your insurance rates?
I'm Pregnant With No Insurance?
When Should i go to the doctor?! And Also.. I don't have insurance.. and was wondering what am i supposed to do about that?!! i currently live in california but me and my boyfriend are soon moving to washington. any suggestions or sites you know of for gov't aid?? by the way.. i hate having to go through gov't assistance right now... but it seems to be my only option. any help?!!
What insurance comapnies are best?
I just bought a 2007 Toyota Corolla, and am trying to find insurance for it. I've been researching different companies and getting quotes on insurance. So far Geico and AIG are the best. Are there any others that people recommend?""
Where can I find cheap young male car insurance on any car?
I'm a 17 year old driver who has just passed my test and when i go to quote myself on any car its either unquotable or something like 20,000 a year or something stupid even with immobilizers trackers parked in a garage etc and when i put my mum as the main driver (she has 5 year NCD) it only dropped like 200 so i don't understand how people are getting it below 10000 let alone 2000. I haven't bought a car yet but could somebody tell me what is the up most cheapest car to insure and all the combinations that make it cheaper. Once more annoying is that I live in a pretty nicer area so you wouldn't think it would cost as much compared to other people but they seem to get theirs cheaper.""
Do you think health insurance is necessary? Why?
Do you think health insurance is necessary? Why?
How do I go about this? Car insurance for myself and get the car in my name?
My mom is giving me her old car. She has it in her name, and I want to put it in my own name with my own car insurance. I'm moving out so this is the reason for it. I live in Florida.""
Finding out cost of a car insurance claim - do i have to include this?
Im looking for insurance for a new car. My bf had an accident in our last car and i was wondering if there is a way you can find out how much we claimed in total? As alot of insurance companies want to know this.
""Teen males, how much was your insurance?""
I was wondering the average or ideal amount that teen males pay for insurance. I have $700 saved, & I don't know if that's enough to cover How much was your insurance?""
Will my medical insurance pay?
Will my medical insurance pay for my transportation to work. I just had my drivers license suspended for MEDICAL REASONS. PLEASE HELP!
Can you rent a car without car insurance?
No longer own a car so no car insurance, but need to rent one for a few days- can I rent or do I have to have an insured driver do it or can I buy the rental companys car insurance?""
Pay Per Mile Car Insurance - have you tried it?
I've heard from a friend about a pay per mile car insurance - as I only use my car on a Saturday it sounds ideal. Anyone have any links or recommendations?
Do I need insurance for one time poetry event in Chicago?
I'm looking to rent a church Rectory to artists for events like open mic's, gallery showings, and other small (20 people max) one time events. Do I need insurance outside of the home insurance the Rectory already has?""
Liability insurance for an online vitamin store. Do I need it? And how can I get it?
Hi yahoo friends, I have a new website. I want to sell vitamin and supplements. One of a whole sellers asked me for copy of liability insurance. What is it? Do I need it since I sell their products, should the liability go to them? How can I get it? Please help me , if you know the answer. Thank you.
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/how-much-my-insurance-go-up-cassiopeia-najera"
0 notes
Insurance Question 16 year old?
"Insurance Question 16 year old?
I am a 16 year old boy, I just got my license. What I have to drive is a 2011 Mustang GT 5.0 liter V8, 2 wheel Drive. The price on the car is $32,565. If both my parents and I are insured on the car, how much should my own personal payment be for 1 month with a normal plan (not collision). My parents have never had an accident and are 40 and 36 years old. If I cannot get an exact quote can someone please tell me about how much the car would be a month to insure? Thanks very much. ***I have also completed a drivers education course that should lower my insurance 10-15%.
BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://insureinfo.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 
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Insurance on a ford fiesta 1.25 GHIA?
im 17 and will be having my full license at the very latest January the 1st just wondering the average price for cheapest cover, 5 door 1.25""
Car insurance?
Ok, cheap me has been trying to find a second hand car (Opel corsa). Found one I might like at about 29k with a mileage of 167k on Carfind. Tried to get an eQuote from First for women - (I'm still waiting). Anyone could suggest any other reasonable insurance companies I could try? Or do any of you know how much I would be paying for insurance, just an estimate. Would also love some help with any other cars (preferably Opel corsa) at reasonable rates. Looking between 20-35k and no more than R800p/m. If anyone has info please contact me by email. Thank you PS: I'm in Johannesburg (Northen Suburbs)""
Where can i get cheap Car Insurance?
here you go a website that can help you find the best auto insurance in your area http://is.gs/7xg
Why is my car insurance so expensive?
I am trying to figure out why my car insurance costs so much, and I am having problems getting a straight answer from any insurance company. In the last 5 years I have 0 speeding tickets, no dui's, and 1 not at fault accident. I am a 26 year old male with full coverage on an 07 Cobalt ls, so not even a sports car. The absolute cheapest insurance I could find is just shy of 350$ a month. Most companies wouldn't even cover me, and none of them would tell me why. So if anyone has any ideas of what could be causing this I would really appreciate it.""
""If I ride my friends motorcycle, do I need insurance?""
I have my license, and will be getting my own bike at some point, but for now, if I drive my friends motorcycle around, do I need insurance for it? Or does his cover me?""
What would it cost for insurance for a 16 year old male driving 1980 corrvette?
What would it cost for insurance for a 16 year old male driving 1980 corrvette?
What to do about insurance?
Is there any way to find insurance that covers a pregnancy? (after you have been pregnant) Even if it is a pre-existing condition, is there an extra amount of money we can pay? I have been using my college's insurance plan for the past 2 years. It is now summer and I no longer have insurance. Unfortunatey my due date is before the fall semester starts so I can't renew it until after the baby is delivered. We thought I would be able to just get onto my husbands plan but they wont cover the insurance AT ALL because he signed some waver years ago (before we were married) saying if he were to get married the insurance doesn't have to cover his wife. (It didn't bother him at the time since he didn't know he would be getting married... he has had the same insurance for nearly 5 years now and he forgot all about it) What should we do? I don't mind finding an insurnace that makes me pay a high premium so they would cover my pregnancy. I just don't know how insurance works!""
Does anyone have 21st car insurance?
I am thinking of switching my car insurance, this is a lot cheaper... Just looking for some feedback... dont know much about this insurance...I have never really heard of it... Thanks!""
Been priced out of insurance AGAIN!!?
Ok thought i would be getting a car, but kept on getting 6,000-8,000 quotes which is ridiculous. So then i thought o well lets leave the car alone for a few years. Found a fantastic bike that i tested for 1,500 LEXMOTO XTR S 125. Drum role please INSURANCE 2,000!!! people told me i was suppose to be getting 500 odd for insurance for a 125cc bike. i live in london :|. age:17""
If my insurance pays off what i owe on my car would it be on my name?
or would if be on my car agency name? i was hit by a 73 male no insurance and well all i have now is for my insurance to cover it and to fix my car is about $7,500 and its a total loss so my mom was told and estimate of what the car might be worth is between 5,000 and 6,000 i have and 2004 Hyundai Elentra. I still owe the agency a year of payment so is the check going to be under my name or the agency. im hoping under my name this way im able to buy a car- cash and keep paying my agency what i owe. bc it sucks to still pay off money even if the 6,000 for the agency and i still have to pay monthly if its not enough to cover the whole amount i owe. HELP""
What is the cheapest 7 seater car to insure for a new driver?
What is the cheapest 7 seater car to insure for a new driver?
How does the good grades thing work for car insurance?
i am 17 and i have gieco...what do i do if i have good grades? and whats the minimum grade requirement?
Car insurance?
Im 16 and 1/2 years old. My dad says that i need good grades to get my own car insurance.. Couldn't i just place my name under my dad's auto insurance? How does that work
Car insurance curious question?
On today i went to a car show in my area and when i was out their i seen alot of nice old school. As i was looking, i went to talk to a guy. he said invested 20,000 in his 89 chevy caprice. It had the Portable tvs, brand new engine and so on.. Then i was like man what if you wreck you vehicle, the insurance not going to pay for all that, besides you can get much for a 21 yr old car. He was like since he got full coverage and he happen to get into a accident and the car is total, he said the insurance company will reimburse him half of the money back on what he spent on the car. Is this true?""
Do you get your credit checked for car insurance quotes?
Do you get your credit checked for car insurance quotes?
""Gas, Home and car insurance in my tax return expence?""
I'm a self employed programmer, I work in my home (don't have office) my question is can I consider my home rent or car insurance-gas as my job expences in tax return forms? I'm useing my car to see some of my customers (not always).""
What is the cheapest insurance company to switch to for a descent price after a DUI?
I am 23 and have a 2005 chevy silverado single cab. It's paid off in full. I usually like to have basic & Im on my dads plan which is about 3-400 a year. & they are now increasing it to 800$. I would like to switch to a company that I can pay less to.
How much is motorcycle insurance in Utah?
I am just wondering because I am 17, and I need to get to and back from work. Just give me a rough estimate please. That's all I need to know... Don't tell me to check with my family's insurance because it is too much work when I can just come on here and get an estimate to see if it is in my price range. Thanks ahead of time! I am planning on driving an old street legal dirt bike granted it isn't too pricey.""
Best insurance companies for 17 year old passed my test?
ok ive pased my test and i gettin a car this week and i need some insurance on the car obviiously lol, well basically whats the cheapest car insurance all you 17 year old have and who is it with, please :)""
Were can i get Insurance for the Aprilia rs125 at age 17?
Im 17 looking for insurance for the Aprilia rs125 but ever were i look no company's will insure me i don't know what i doing wrong but they must not like me :P can i getadvicee please thanks :)
Would car insurance be less if i got an older car/truck?
like from the 1980 to 2000? and would a pickup truck cost less to insure than a small car? im 18 if that helps any.
What is the average life insurance commission?
I know the amount can very significantly but I am just want to know what the average commission is. I've heard anywhere from $600 to $1000. But not if one is Term or whole life.
Why do red cars go hand in hand with a high auto insurance bill????
Red cars always get a high insurance rate. Not all red cars are sporty or fast so why is this?
Why do people in the US waste money on car insurance?
There are 5 states such as California where 25% of the public has NO car insurance...while the rest of the country has an average of 7% uninsured. Obviously no one is enforcing insurance so...why bother getting insurance at all. Isn't it cheaper to have none..and more un-American to have it? After all, Americans generally think they should not have to pay for anything, so why pay for anything at all?""
Breach Car Loan Insurance?
The bank that finances my car requires me to hold 1000 deductible. I currently dont have insurance because the lowest rate i can get is 650 . Thats half of what I make a month . What should I do . Has anyone ever been in this situation ?
Insurance Question 16 year old?
I am a 16 year old boy, I just got my license. What I have to drive is a 2011 Mustang GT 5.0 liter V8, 2 wheel Drive. The price on the car is $32,565. If both my parents and I are insured on the car, how much should my own personal payment be for 1 month with a normal plan (not collision). My parents have never had an accident and are 40 and 36 years old. If I cannot get an exact quote can someone please tell me about how much the car would be a month to insure? Thanks very much. ***I have also completed a drivers education course that should lower my insurance 10-15%.
Anyone got a rough idea what 3 points on a licence will cost to my insurance policy?
I have just been served a Notice Of Intended Prosecution for doing 37mph in a 30mph zone & the mandatory penalty is a 60 fine & 3 points on my licence.I won't know until I get the conviction code to give to my Insurers (Churchill). My renewal will be in Jan 08. Up to now, the licence is clean, 5 years No Claims. I just wanted to get a rough idea what the 3 points will add in money terms if anyone can help. Thanks in advance.""
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Lying to insurance driving record?
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What is the cheapest car for a 17 year old with cheap insurance?
Im nearly 17 and am looking for a car, of autotrader or something? Preferably cheap and cheap on insurance? Thanks""
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what is the best/cheapest insurance out their for the scion tc and why is it so high?
Honda cg125 or cb125 and running cost and insurance please?
Honda cg125 or cb125 and running cost and insurance please?
Found a nice place for those who need free auto quotes?
Hey there just wanted to let everyone know i found this great site for free auto insurance quotes, its saved me $32 off of my montly policy. Read some of the auto insurance articles to help you save more. Http://www.free-auto-quote.com""
Why is insurance cheaper on american cars than asian cars?
I have a friend who was in accident a while back and the end result is his insurance doubled, and he can only afford to buy an american car rather than asian or german. Why is that in canada insurance cheaper on the american cars? Thank you""
Car insurance for a 16 year old???
I live near the Twin Cities in Minnesota, and have a 3.2 G.P.A and would be driving a 1996 4WD Chevrolet Blazer....we got a quote threw Progressive and they said it would be like $400 dollars a month just for no fault there must be some company out there thats cheaper.....Also........Would it be cheaper to go on my dad's insurance....or am i better off having my dad insure me through a different car insurace company. Because he doesnt want his insurance to drop him because if i get in an accident the rates would go way up and he also has other kinds of insurance through that company like home owners insurance and things like that........ -thank you-""
Where is the best place to get cheap car insurance for young drivers in the uk?
Hey everyone, ive tried all the usual avenues to find cheap(ish) car insurance for my 18 year old cousin and to be honest they are coming back with ridiculously expensive quotes, does anyone know of there are any companies in the uk that do offer a good deal?""
Can I take my soon to be husbands insurance for Pre existing condition?
My fianc and I are getting married in 6 months but my health is going down hill fast. He said we could get married sooner and I could get on his group insurance but will they accept Pre existing conditions on his work plan and I can start to get treated with his insurance and how long does it take to be active? Thanks!
What is the best insurance company for a 21yr old with a bad driving record?
car insurance for nj drivers
Auto insurance for son ?
Is my son automatically covered under our auto insurance now that he has a Driver's license ? If I call the insurance company won't they charge me some ridiculous amount of money for a 16 year old ?
What car insurance coverage is actually necessary?
And how much of each do you really need?
Car insurance even though do not own a car?
Hi, I got my license on may and since then I drive my mom's car. So my mom tried to add my name under her car insurance and I have to pay the same amount of car insurance as her. I only drive during the summer and they told my mom that even if i dont pay the insurance now, they will still accumulate the rate starting from the day i got my license and sums it up and give it to me when i start paying insurance. So either way I would have to pay the same amount of insurance. Is this legitimate? I mean I only drive during the summer and im in school during the year. im 18 by the way and I live in new jersey""
Car insurance for 17 year old?
my son will be driving my car for a couple times, so do i have to put him as a name under my insurance? and if i get him a car in a few months what is a reliable insurance company that is affordable?""
Does anyone know of cheap health insurance in north carolina?
am a father of two and my wife has her and the kids covered under her policy at work. I have not had insurance in over 12 years! I need low cost health insurance and I have heard of plans under $100. I obviously never get sick, and dont mind a high deductible. I really need a low premium and a semi low RX cost and co-pay/ doctor visit (just in case). Any help or suggestions? Thanks!!!""
Should I go through my car insurance company or not?
My car was parked on a decline, stalled, and ran into the back of my friends wagon. My repair quote is about $940, hers is about $615, at a total of about $1555. The excess I have to pay towards insurance repairs is $1045 (standard excess, age excess for being under 25, and some flexi-excess p.o.s). At the moment I only have enough money to fix her car, although that means waiting another few months to fix mine, and I'm impatient. Hers needs to be fixed asap for roadworthy and registration. I also have the option of finding a new bumper for hers at a much cheaper price, although that is proving difficult. Also, my insurance company only likes their choice of repairer. My panel shop has done jobs for the company before, but I'm not certain if they will let me use them. I won't have anyone else repair my car, as the money was going to go to repainting a new bonnet instead of repairing, which insurance won't cover. On another note, I'm not sure how long going through insurance will take. So my question is, do I go through insurance, even though I might not get to use my panel shop and it will cost me almost the same? Or do I leave it, and do what I can to fix my friends car cheaper? Then just suck it up and wait to have the money for mine, therefore also saving a rise on my insurance premium and a drop in my rating.""
How would you change your car insurance if your car was over ten yrs old?
idk what my stupid teacher means by that.. i know that car insurance would increase but im not sure thts what she is asking with this question.. thankyou =]
Health insurance for an immigrant who's over 65?
My parents and I are thinking about bringing my grandmother to the U.S. but we are worried about health insurance. My grandmother is 87 years old and has many medical conditions so we need to get her something that would cover the medical expenses. She will be an immigrant because she doesn't have U.S. citizenship or green card, and she has never worked in this country. Since she is over 65 years old, she cannot get a health insurance, but I am hoping that she can get something that is similar to Medicare, Medi-Cal, or Medicaid. I know that Medicare is for people who is either a citizen or permanent resident and who has worked least 10 years in Medicare-covered employment. Is there anything that my grandmother could be eligible for medical health plan or insurance although she is an immigrant, over 65 years of age, and never worked in the U.S.? Any advice or suggestion would be much appreciated.""
Do I need insurance if I have a drivers license but no car?
Im Juss Got My License and i dont have insurance And Wondering If I Can Drive My Parents Car They Have Insurance And Gives Me Permission To Drive It, so if anyone knows the correct answer please let me know and by the way i live in tx.""
Car insurance?
Is insurance cheaper on older cars?
Car insurance questions!?!!? HELP! accident!?
Hey, three weeks ago, I got into a car accident and rear ended someone in the front with suv. I had a honda, and the insurance company declared it totaled and they are going to pay around 9k for the car. Since it was rear-end accident, insurance company held me for 100% at fault. The suv had broken/dented bumper and lower part of trunk lid dented (No broken lights or anything). I would say around few thousand dollars worth of damage. There were 3 people in the car and at the time they said they are all ok, and drove off. No police report was filed. When I called at night to get one of the guy's birthday, he said all three went to emergency, and had whiplash pain in neck area (which is understandable from rear-end accident). I had full coverage so I know my insurance comp. would pay their bills. The thing I am scared about is what if they sue me? I am from low-class family and a full time student on loans so I have no money or even a job. If they do, how much can they sue me for?""
How much more a month is car insurance for a sports car than for something like a coupe or sedan?
How much more a month is car insurance for a sports car than for something like a coupe or sedan?
Insurance Question 16 year old?
I am a 16 year old boy, I just got my license. What I have to drive is a 2011 Mustang GT 5.0 liter V8, 2 wheel Drive. The price on the car is $32,565. If both my parents and I are insured on the car, how much should my own personal payment be for 1 month with a normal plan (not collision). My parents have never had an accident and are 40 and 36 years old. If I cannot get an exact quote can someone please tell me about how much the car would be a month to insure? Thanks very much. ***I have also completed a drivers education course that should lower my insurance 10-15%.
""Insured car, uninsured teen driver?""
Hi, I am 17 and just obtained my drivers license, I am not on the insurance policy for the family cars. I heard somewhere that insurance follows the car and not the driver and that even if i wasn't on the insurance policy but had permission from the owner to drive the car that any accident would be covered by the owners insurance policy? Is this information valid? And to what extent? Thanks!""
Im 21 and a new driver how much would my car insurance cost on a honda civic type r 02 reg?
Im 21 and a new driver how much would my car insurance cost on a honda civic type r 02 reg?
Cheapest type of insurance for 17 year old?
iv heard of black box insurance but this doesn't appeal to me most? so what companies or types of insurance are cheapest??
How much do you pay a month for your health insurance?
Is it a PPO? What company are you with? I haven't had health insurance for most of my life and am now shopping around. I have a very bad attitide about doctors and insurance... :) Oh, well. I just got a quote from Aetna-basic $187 a month-you have to spend 5K before the hospitalization kicks in and I can't remember the copay. And plan to get a quote from Anthem Blue Cross and, also, Blue Shield of California (2 separate companies here.) Ugghh! Any advice would be appreciated. If I'm going to go the effort to get insurance I don't want some fly by night whatever, but I am really so ignorant of this stuff. Thanks for any input.""
How much should 17 year old boy expect to pay for car insurance?
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What is the best insurance company to go through for motorcycle insurance?
What is the best insurance company to go through for motorcycle insurance?
Massachusetts car registration/insurance?
I need a bit of help here people. Most likely from someone in the Mass area. I just bought a car in RI (Private deal, used). I have a Mass license, so that's where it will be registered. My question is pertaining to where the car is being kept. I work and attend college in RI, so that is where my current residence is. Can I set my insurance to RI where I get my mail, and still have it registered in Ma? Or do I need to use a Mass address for my insurance as well? I called the insurance company and they did not have a clue, and I also called the RMV who just put me on hold for 40 minutes.""
Teenage Boy Car Insurance.?
My 17yrs old son is about to pass his driving exam and then go through the pass plus test too. We were looking to buy him a cheep second hand car for about 500 but when it came to insurance we have been repeatedly quoted around the 3500 mark for third party. Does anyone know where I can get cheep insurance for a boy?
Is there a fine (other than the $25 correction fee) for a ticket for driving without insurance in California?
Is there a fine (other than the $25 correction fee) for a ticket for driving without insurance in California? I will have insurance on Monday when i go to take care of the ticket and hopefully just have it signed off. I was told by the ticketing officer that it was a fix-it ticket. So, will current insurance and the $25 fee be all i will owe, or are there any other fines or fees i should expect?""
Does anyone know a cheap car insurance company?
Im About to Turn 17 and am Male,, I need to know if anyone knows of a cheap car insurance company, I have a 2002 Citroen Saxo VTR, I live in Dudley,UK Preferably i would like to pay less than 3000 (i am only a student) Preferably i would like to go in my name but i do also have the option to go in my 44year old dads name. If anyone could get back to me on this i would be very greateful p.s -- I have tried all of the comparison sites and have only found 1insurance company cheaper than 3k Gett Back to me please Thank You xx""
Could a 17 year old new driver get insurance for a 1.8-2.0 litre?
Hi... If i was to get a car lets say a 1.8 to a 2.0 litre could i put this car on one of my parents policies and be able to get affordable insurance... My parents have many years no claims discount... Would the insurance firm grant me permission to be insured for a car with a big engine under my parents policy? I was thinking of a VW golf Gti (Mk3) or maybe an old BMW ... Please don't suggest sh!t cars like puntos,saxos nd all those because they are for the boy racers...""
Is auto insurance less expensive in Colorado Springs than California?
I am looking to relocate from Los Angeles to Colorado Springs and just wondering if insurance over in Colorado Springs are less expensive. I mean for liability or full coverage..
How do I cancel California Blue Cross insurance?
I have been trying to cancel my policy for 3 months. I even tried to stop payment at my bank, but they keep getting around the stop payments by charging different amounts each month. (This month they decided to charge me $50 more than last month) When I call them, I am on hold for over 30 minutes before I finally just give up. On their website, there is NO information about how to cancel your policy whatsoever. Why is it that they don't have ANY information on their California Blue Cross website about how to cancel??? Does anyone know of an address or fax number or wherever I am supposed to send written cancellation to or how do I go about cancelling????""
My wife is pregnant. Due date: 9/10/09. Our COBRA health insurance expires on 7/18/09. What to do?
Our insurance expires before the due date. NO PROBLEM. We're getting a HIPAA guarantee issue plan. Here's the question: Our insurance expires on the 18th, but HMO's don't start until the 1st of the month. This would leave a 2 week gap where we wouldn't have coverage. We can't start a HIPAA HMO on July 1, because you have to expire all 18months of COBRA before you're eligible for a HIPAA guarantee issue plan. Chances are it'd be ok waiting until 8/1 to begin our new HIPAA plan, but if my wife went into early labor, it would be a very, very bad situation. PPO's start on the 1st, and sometimes the 15th. Same problem. What should we do? We'd prefer to not have a gap in our coverage.""
How much would insurance be for a 16 year old in GA?
I'm 16, I own a 2005 Chevrolet Cavalier LS Sport- 2 door, live in Athens, GA, drive less than 7,000 miles annually, drive to and from work and school 5 days a week... haha. I just want to know how much it would be monthly for car insurance on any of the companies. Any help would be appreciated. :)""
How much would Liability cost on my car?
Im 16 and i just got my license. Me and my dad are gonna go look at a car tomorrow. its a 1999 mitsubishi eclipse GS with 130,000 miles. take in to consideration all of the basic things of a teenager nothing special just an average kid how much would liability in wisconsin cost? all my friends say they pay around 65 a month but than i went to some insurance website and it said some crazy thing like 850 a month... how much for an average 16 year old kid am i gonna pay monthly for liability?""
Can someone help me with me Car Insurance?
I am a 17 year old that has just passed her driving test, I have my heart set on a Honda civic and was wondering how much insurance group 4 costs roughly??""
Car Insurance in Northern NJ?
Hello, How much do a couple pay on an average for car insurance premiums in Northern NJ? I am insured with liberty mutual and my monthly commitment is close to $140, I have a clean driving history and no claims in the past. Culd you suggest how I cut down on my premiums? Also the best car insurance company in the tri state area.""
Best health insurance for babies?
Hi everyone I am 24 and kind of new to this. I'm pregnant with my first child and I would like to know what would be the best insurance for my newborn and when I should apply for it. I currently have insurance through my job and its great the only thing is I'm not considered full time so if I put the baby under my insurance there goes half of my paycheck. It is the same for the baby's father. I have a loooong way to go before my due date but I like to be prepared when it comes to things like this because it is very important to me. If there is anyone out there who has a good place to choose I'm all ears!
How much do you think insurance for an Acura RSX would be?
I'm 16 years old and I want to buy an Acura RSX. Does anybody have any idea about how much insurance might be? I live in California.
How much increase will I expect in my car insurance premium after an accident that was my fault?
I rear-ended a car that in turn rear-ended another car. Damage to my car cost $6500, liability claims against my policy at $5000. Also one driver claimed for bodily injury amounting to $2000. I am insured under Progressive in Texas""
Get a 50cc moped help please!!?
m turning 16 next month and have been saving to get a moped. I just need some more info on them first, such as how much will tax mot and insurance cost? What do i need to legally drive it on the road? Where can i NOT drive? Also if anyone knows where i can get a cheap moped or scooter from in the essex area second hand is fine. Im a soon to be 16yr girl in the essex area if that helps. Thanks""
""In 1000 years time, what do you think history will say about AGW?""
What do you think future historians will have to say about our time and its consequences? Based on your understanding of the subject; also what you think is our most likely response, how do you think AGW will progress over the next few centuries? Clearly there are many unknowns; just consider the changes in the last 100 years, let alone the last 1000. Chances are that there will be many developments that could never be predicted or even conceived today. Obviously answers will be highly speculative. So, just for fun then, what do you think the history of these times is likely to be? What do you think is likely to happen?""
Should I buy earthquake insurance in california?
I've lived in the Bay Area for 20 years and never purchased earthquake insurance for my home. I heard rates were going down, and AAA quoted me a rate of nearly $1200 for earthquake coverage- there is 75,000 deductible, and they will cover up to $525,000 to rebuild. What is the consensus on this issue?""
What company do you have your home owner's insurance with?
Buying house and need to get some home owner's insurance, need a few places to get quotes from.""
Insurance Question 16 year old?
I am a 16 year old boy, I just got my license. What I have to drive is a 2011 Mustang GT 5.0 liter V8, 2 wheel Drive. The price on the car is $32,565. If both my parents and I are insured on the car, how much should my own personal payment be for 1 month with a normal plan (not collision). My parents have never had an accident and are 40 and 36 years old. If I cannot get an exact quote can someone please tell me about how much the car would be a month to insure? Thanks very much. ***I have also completed a drivers education course that should lower my insurance 10-15%.
Effects of Multiple Sclerosis on car insurance?
A friend of mine was diagnosed with relapsing remitting MS just over a year ago. She had several bad relapses one after another but was then put on tysabri and has been getting better and better since then. She now feels ready to start driving again but is worried her insurance will be through the roof. She is in good health now and because of the tysabri is not likely to have a relapse again for at least a couple of years. Does anyone have any experience of trying to get car insurance if you have MS?
How to get cheap car insurance?
im 17, my mates have got theres for just over a thousand pounds, but all my quotes are 3 thousand plus, how can i make it cheaper? like by putting my mum as a driver or?""
Average car insurance rates for people under 21 years old?
Average car insurance rates for people under 21 years old?
Term Life Insurance Ownership?
My wife and I are in our 40's and 50's. We have created A/B trusts and transferred our assets to them, and expect to have estates that will benefit from the estate tax saving these trusts afford. We recently both purchased $1M 10-year renewable term life insurance policies that we expect to keep for 10 years. We chose not to use life insurance trusts because the purpose of the policies is to replace the lost income of the deceased spouse if one of us dies relatively soon, not to increase our final estate, and the trusts are somewhat costly. We each specified our own trusts as the beneficiaries, because we want the disposition of assets specified there to be used for this money. The trusts provide for the income, and principle if needed, to be paid to the spouse, and for the remainder to be paid to our child at the remaining spouses death. The question of ownership of the policies is less clear. My lawyer says that it doesn't make much difference who owns them, because the value (estate) taxed is only one year's premium, not the $1M. My accountant says that the $1M is taxed, and that each policy should be owned by the other spouse to avoid tax on that amount. A friend said that there's no way to avoid or significantly decrease the tax, so just leave the ownership as is (each spouse owns their own policy). A further fly in the ointment is that the insurance company (Massachusetts SBLI) makes some forms of trust ownership more difficult and costly. I'm confused. What ownership is the best? What is the benefit of that choice? Thanks for your time.""
Will we be covered by insurance when driving to get a new car?
I have bought a new (second hand!) car and will be going to get it today. Not having changed my car before, I have a question. Just before we go to pick up the new car, we will be changing our insurance in town from our old car to the new car. If I change my insurance to the new car, how can I then drive my old car as it will be uninsured? We will need the old car to drive a few miles outside town to get the new car! Is there a special way that this has to be done so that the the old car is still temporarily covered? We will be going to get the new car immediately after sorting the insurance. Please give as much details as possible of what I have to do.""
Car Insurance?
So I got my license the other day I'm 16 turning 17. I don't have a car yet, but I want to drive alone. My mom has a car but my name isin't included in the policy. I heard somewhere that I could still drive the car. Is that true? How much would it cost if my name is added to the car? the car is on AAA Insurance.? . Another question. Im going to be working soon, how much would it cost for a 17 year old to drive his own car with his own insurance, BUT if im added to my DAD's policy.?""
What is the average monthly rate for restaurant liabilty insurance in tampa?
And which insurance company in tampa do the restaurant insurance..Mind is in the plaza not free stand..
""Should you be allowed to buy car insurance only AFTER you have a car accident, and save your money beforehand?""
Isn't denying car insurance AFTER a car accident denying it for a pre-existing condition ? If this health care bill passes, I don't know why anyone would car insurance on an undamaged car or house insurance on a house that isn't on fire. Save your money until the event happens and then fight them on the legality of coverage denial for pre-existing conditions. This is the lunacy that Obama wants to bring to America.""
How much is homeowners insurance a month?
My wife and I are pricing out home purchasing possibilities, and are looking at homes ranging from 290,000 up to about 360,000. We need to have a feel for the payments, and wonder if there is a quick formula to help us figure out the approximate insurance costs each month? Thanks!""
Help me find a good auto insurance company for pizza delivery?
I live in Brisbane QLD. Can you guys help me find the best insurance company that offers commercial insurance with the smallest excess at the least premium. I'm going to be using my car for delivering pizza. Obviously I'm not expecting anything cheap because most insurance companies are in it for the money, not the customer. I've looked at RACQ and some other more well known companies, is there anyone else I should check?""
I have a a term life insurance calculator?
I have a term life insurance calculator, i want to place the link in to other sites which are relevant to term life insurance. Can any one please suggest me list of those sites which are relevant to term life insurance or any article or blogs site which belongs to an individual person and is relevant to life insurance. Please provide me only US site. thanks""
Traffic Citation for no car insurance What should i do?
Hello I have a question concerning a Traffic citation that i got 13 days ago. On the 21st of November i got pulled over for a blinker that was out on my car. I had bought this car from a friend 3 months ago and hadnt didnt redgister it into my name or have current tags. I had insurance for the first month that i had the car but then due to finacial problems couldnt afford the extra 220 a month for car insurance. So the State Trooper gave me a citition which written under the description only said no proof of insurance. So the a couple of days later i went and got insurance, redgistration, tags, license plates the whole nine yards and i went into the trooper station to clear the citation cause it is correctable but the lady tells me i have to show proof of insurance from the day of getting the citiation. so my only opition is either take this to court or pay a whooping 540$ and 6 points off my Driver's license i was wondering if i should take this to court?""
Where can we find cheap life insurance?
Where can we find cheap life insurance?
Looking for a car with free insurance.......?
My brother has just passed his driving test and I am trying to help him get a new car but keep the costs down. He is 23 and I was wondering if anyone new of any deals that are on at the moment. He lives in Glasgow if that's any help. Thanks everyone Kevin
""Hi, I Need to insure my car and I am have no idea which insurance company is best and cheap plz help!!!?
And I need to do it today. Anyone knows how to do it quickly and which company is really and cheap and meets the NYS dmv requirements?
How can I get insurance if I am not working?
they say its going to a law you have to have insurance well what if your not working did they come up for something for that
What insurance company will give me the cheapest full coverage policy on a sportbike?
I'm 23, I have one year of riding experience, and i have no traffic convictions. I'm looking to go no higher than a 600. I live in an apartment, and I will have a lojack installed. I can't seem to find a policy for less than 3,000 bucks a year.""
How much will car insurance will cost me?
I want to lease a new 2014 Honda Sedan Getting my licence in june 18 years old/ $800 a month How much will it cost if my dad get an insurance same car He got his license exact year ago good credit score
How much is the average car insurance in southwest VA?
Im 20 years old. Im moving somewhere in the southwest va area within the next month and was wondering how much the average car insurance will be
""Can't afford car payments, car insurance?""
I can no longer afford to make my car payments and car insurance. I was using those checks that you get from credit cards. Now I am in serious credit card debt. It's too late now to try and sell the car because I have missed my 8/15 car payment. I haven't called the bank yet to tell them my situation. Is it a big hassle when I go to call? I still owe $8,000 on it. I wanted to get some advice before I call.""
Effects of Multiple Sclerosis on car insurance?
A friend of mine was diagnosed with relapsing remitting MS just over a year ago. She had several bad relapses one after another but was then put on tysabri and has been getting better and better since then. She now feels ready to start driving again but is worried her insurance will be through the roof. She is in good health now and because of the tysabri is not likely to have a relapse again for at least a couple of years. Does anyone have any experience of trying to get car insurance if you have MS?
Low Income Health Insurance in Alaska?
I have been asked to find low income health insurance for my parents who live in Alaska. I don't even know where to start. Does anyone know where I might be able to get any information?
Do I still have to pay car insurance if....?
This is probably a really stupid question, but I'm sixteen, so please just answer... I've had my permit since last September. I've practiced, but my parents won't let me get my license because they can't afford the car insurance. We only have one car anyway. Well, say I were to register a motor vehicle, such as a 50cc moped, which only requires a basic license to use. Would I still have to pay car insurance for my family car if I don't drive it, AND a moped? Or can I stick to paying the motor bike insurance instead? I'm sorry, it's such a stupid question, but I don't know much more about car insurance other than the fact that we can't afford it. Thank you. (:""
Car Insurance Help!!!?
I have a Toyota Corolla 2007. About 6 wks ago I got rear ended, the impact sent me over the medium unto uncoming traffic. After all was said and done the car had $6,300 on repairs done. It came out okay but know I have trouble closing the trunk, I really have to slam it and the right side back lights don't really align. I am trying to figure out how much they will give me for devaluation value on the car, I have never done this before I want to make sure I don't get ripped off. Also I am still experiencing back pain from the accident, my primary doctor wants to send me to a chiropractor which my insurance doesn't cover, should the other insurance pay for it? They are not returning my calls, and they just want to offer me $500 for pain and suffering as long as I sing some papers that release the other driver and the insurance from any further responsibility. By the way it was the other drivers fault, she was in her cell phone hit mt at 45 mph from behind and this was her 10th accident in the last 3 mos. Any suggestions?""
Should I get $500 deductible or $250 on car insurance?
does it make sense to get higher deductible to save premium or is that a scam? clubny2007 coming soon
Insurance Question 16 year old?
I am a 16 year old boy, I just got my license. What I have to drive is a 2011 Mustang GT 5.0 liter V8, 2 wheel Drive. The price on the car is $32,565. If both my parents and I are insured on the car, how much should my own personal payment be for 1 month with a normal plan (not collision). My parents have never had an accident and are 40 and 36 years old. If I cannot get an exact quote can someone please tell me about how much the car would be a month to insure? Thanks very much. ***I have also completed a drivers education course that should lower my insurance 10-15%.
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/car-insurance-site-18-year-old-carl-thompson"
0 notes
jess-oh · 6 years
Text
Reflection
so
it is monday and i missed my reflection for yesterday since i stayed up late last night but i got some things i want to discuss. this has been something that ive been noticing but today....was interesting. bc i was so casual about it
i say that ive been trying to stop cussing and yet, i still do it so freely in order to fit in with the culture here. the people from my work in the snapchat group i realize are super spoiled. it’s hard to even get a job and we should all be grateful to have one at all. and i understand it’s an on campus job but the fact that we even have the opportunity to work on homework at all is amazing and we should be grateful for that. we arent entitled to that right. it’s an opportunity(?). thats not the right word but im sure future jessica will know what im trying to get at. but yeah. ive been called to be more loving and affectionate and live out Christ who lives in me but I can’t do that if I’m living with the world. I have to be brave enough to go against it. I think that staff has become too chill with us and while I admit that I added into the chaos last semester after Natalie left, I do think things have gotten a lot better this year. And there are probably a bunch of people that really need a job and wouldn’t take them for granted like we are now. But we’ve developed a kind of culture where its power to the workers and not the staffers when they are just as miserable as we are. we need to be more understanding and forgiving and actually do our job instead of slacking off all the time. we really have become a place where we go to to have fun instead of to work and i feel like that’s gotta change. and i will admit that i am afraid of being rejected for standing up and raising awareness and trying to shift our habits. but i dont want to complain anymore. it makes me sound so spoiled. it makes me give into my more spoiled tendencies, moreso. it sucks and while i do feel empowered, i dont need to put other people down in order to make myself feel better. I know who I am and the good work that Christ is using me for. And I want to continue to do that. 
Tess mentioned how everyone loves me so no one can yell at me and honestly, I think that made my head blow up and have this need to please everyone bc I already am. But I didn’t care about being on gr9 terms with everyone before so why should that change anything now? If anything, it puts the power in my hands to actually make a cultural shift at my work.
I was going to listen to music earlier but I don’t have working earbuds at the moment and I just wasnt in the mood so I didnt and I did some thinking instead. And I realized that I’m losing sight of who I am because I’m starting to compromise my beliefs. Like in graphic design today, I talked about drinking and partying so casually and thats a huge 180 from how on fire I was to get involved with the church just yesterday. And I was very aware of it but I also did nothing to stop it. It was like my mind and my mouth were two different entities and were going at their own pace instead of working together. And I do want to be more vigilant and I do want to be more aware and outspoken. But at the same time, I do think this is a really hard battle to fight on my own. I do need accountability and I would reach out to Angela or Jason but I was really turned off by the things that she said at the tea party and Jason is just developing his faith and I want act more like a leader for him. But then I look at people like Johnathan who is by far the most in tune with God out of any of us and yet, he is so humble and doesn’t see himself in that light. He is truly a man of God and just cares about serving Him and His Kingdom. And I think that’s really admirable. I don’t know him super well yet but I am really looking forward to working with him this coming year along with next year. 
I like feeling happy and high off of life and just so fueled by the Spirit that I want to do better. I do miss the mission field and I do miss serving. But I’ve definitely slipped since then. I was always a little upset bc no one from Lakeview actually made an effort in trying to get me to come out. If I just said, “I’m not coming” they would leave it at that and I understand that theyre doing it out of respect for privacy but I feel like people need that push to come out sometimes. Angela can get super defensive and I don’t know if that’s a result of self esteem or something deeper but it really discourages me from getting involved or saying anything at all. And I know that I should tell her and be bold for Christ but it is pretty intimidating. And I really do believe my self esteem has gotten a lot better since high school but I still stumble and falter at times—especially when it comes to spending time at Sa-Rang which is why I almost don’t want to return. I do want to get to a place where I just don’t care about what they have to say or how they might judge me and I don’t think I’m there yet. I’m making progress but I’m not there yet. And I’m starting to be okay with not going home for the summer. Partly because there is a part of me that’s afraid of returning to place where no one cares about who I am but mostly because I’m not so afraid of missing anything anymore. If need be, I will fly in during the school year to be with my family. And I’m losing my attachments to Andrew and Sofia. The three of us have been talking daily and it’s been great getting to know them on a deeper level but they’re definitely not my closest friends anymore. Maybe that’s it. I’ve kind of lost my closest friends. Of course, I still feel comfortable coming to them with issues but it’s not the same. For a time it was Sharlene but then she got busy and I don’t blame her for that at all because it happens. It’s just that my current situation kind of sucks. And I think the right thing to do is to seek refuge in my friends who also follow Christ and be encouraged to really live out a life that is worthy of Him. I think He is an integral part of my life and I don’t think I am doing enough. I am starting to mention my personal belief system with Andrew and Sofia and I think they are actually curious about Christianity and I hope that God is moving within them and I hope that I can trust Him enough to just use me and bring them to Christ and share how great His love is for us. I was thinking about “Why” by Nicole Nordeman earlier and I think so often, we just pass over the weight of how much Christ sacrificed for our sins and our sake. Knowing full well that we would leave Him and spit in His face and pretend to not know Him. Jesus was literally betrayed by his closest peers and had to suffer such extreme physical and mental torment while still standing for God. And I think that’s a life we’re all called to live. Yesterday we learned about the Great Commission and honestly, I wasn’t paying a whole lot of attention because I already try and live out the Great Commission and have already come to an understanding how we are always on the mission field. I do want to back out there and I would love to go on a long term mission trip if God calls me to go but if I can’t even stand up for Him in the comfort of my own home then how will I even hope to live boldly for Him during extreme circumstances and in a land so foreign for so long? The reason change doesn’t happen is because no one calls attention to the problem but it’s something that definitely needs to be done. I’ve overcome my depression and I am still afraid of being judged but I am getting better. Something that I’m actually really curious about is whether or not committing suicide is a sin and if so, then why? And I think a part of me did want to ask this question on Friday but I was worried that they would think I’m feeling suicidal and see me in a totally different light but hey, I’ve been there and I want to help those around me that are there in the future. And honestly, I don’t know if this is just me assuming but if I was suicidal, I don’t think any of them would know how to help. I think they would just give me my space and leave it at that and hope that I would get better. I don’t know if they would really care. And that’s pretty disheartening but I was definitely called to serve here and that’s what I intend on doing. I will go out of my way to invest into the people around me and do what I can in the situation that God has placed me in. I will. 
0 notes
jess-oh · 6 years
Text
Reflection
ahhhhhhhhhhhh. i forgot to bring my Bible down so now I can’t do my QT here :( i do hope i find the willpower to prepare a smoothie for tomorrow morning, do the dishes, take a shower, and do my QT before i decide to sleep. this probably isn’t a good idea working so much when i have work tomorrow but im in that productive kind of mood! and yes, it’s my fault that i started so late but it’s okay! bc im here now and i at least want to work on it a lil more. i already got some ideas i actually like rolling into my portfolio, i started drawing more thumbnails, i got my 3 typography examples done, i started drawing my didot thumbnails but ended up getting sidetracked. but i did draw a bunch of boxes for it which is good! i do want to do a few more quick sketches for typography and then focus on my research papers tomorrow along with the design for graphic design. actually, i probably wont have time tomorrow since im hanging out with my roommates and going out to dinner with james, moon-hee, and others from downtown. and i know i could just skip out on that but i do want to do it. and then on saturday we’re checking out a couple different apartments and i so badly wish i could just stay home and rest and work all day on graphic design and typography but unfortunately, i cant. im definitely going to be staying up late the next few days as a result to make for the lack of time. 
but here’s what i really want to talk about. i had a really good conversation with shar today and i was open about my depression and how i’ve actually been feeling so bad about myself recently but then im so conflicted bc i want to share what ive been struggling through w/ others but i just dont think they’d understand. and it’s been such an unbelievable blessing to be able to talk to shar about everything thats been going on and my worries and concerns and dreams and hopes for the future and even though she cant fully understand, she does listen and does genuinely care and want to be here. i can see it in her heart. and i also know that just bc of who shes surrounded by, sometimes she can become corrupted but at the end of the day, she really is a good person and is really trying and i can see that whenever she does have some unhealthy habits like gossiping, it’s coming from a place of love and care. and i do really appreciate that and i do want to make more of an effort in sharing and being open and knowing that i am allowed to rely on God and other people and I don’t want to fight this losing battle alone. Because I won’t lose without the help of others. I don’t want to keep killing myself over this any longer. It is honestly so hard. It is. And it’s so terrible to feel so alone and so bad about myself. But if we’re being attacked this hard, it means we’re doing something wrong. And we are. Sharlene and I have been keeping each other accountable and being more open about our faith and we started a conversation with Mulan, Claire, and Dana. And I’ve been making conscious efforts in really investing into the freshmen at Lakeview and I don’t always feel like I can be open about myself to them bc I want to be their spiritually leaders but Sharlene did remind me that I really admired P. Billy and P. Daisy for being so honest about what was really going on in their lives. And that just made them better leaders in my eyes. And I do want to adopt that mindset too. i know that it is still so incredibly intimidating and scary to be so open about my faith at a school as liberal as Columbia but yknow what? It’s college. No one really knows what theyre doing. They just know that theyre searching and Sharlene was right, we’re planting so many seeds even in just discussing our relationship with God out in public, even if we don’t see it. There was someone that was having a bad day and felt encouraged by our passion for the Lord. There was someone that was wrestling with the Devil and won bc of something we said. And I know that I’m still having a really hard time letting myself cry and really let go and let myself be affected in front of Shar right now but it is something I’m working on. And I do notice how often I’m laughing during dark or heavy situations in an effort to lighten the mood and avoid feeling so bad but I do want to be able to just let myself go and not be able to distract myself with my laptop or phone or thoughts or anything. I just want to come before the Lord and give it up. I just want to pray. 
I just imagined praying really hard for Dana and I do want to do that for her soon. Whether it’s at the retreat or when she leaves or before or whenever. But i just want to let her know that God loves her so much. And every time he sees her making an effort to come out to church or reach out to Him or share about her experience w/ the church, He sees that and the biggest grin grows on His face in excitement for his daughter that is on her way to coming home. He sees her. And he wants nothing more than to just embrace her in His open arms. My main goal for this coming semester and just for this whole year has been making sure Dana has a solid foundation and faith with Christ before heading out to Korea. So even when she is alone and struggling, she will know who God is in her life and just really be able to let go and give it all up to Him. I’m human and imperfect but He is a God that does not judge but rather, loves unconditionally. And despite all her sins and drinking and dating and everything in between, He still loves her and is just waiting so patiently for her to come home with open arms. I do truly believe that. And I really hope she can make it to the lock-in. I don’t know what it will be like but I do want to pray for her. 
But yeah, it was just so nice talking to Shar today. But onto my day:
This morning I woke up at 7:45am by my weirdly very quiet alarm and reset the power in my room. Then I headed off to typography and had a pretty good time with Sara and this new girl I just met today and my stomach was having some issues for the most part, it was just a nice and pleasant experience. I had a good first day and good end to the week. Then I finally got my pizza bagel and the cashier was kind enough to save one for me yesterday, just in case :’) Oh yeah, I also asked a bunch of people last night for my defining characteristics and I got some pretty interesting responses. For one, I found out that Andrew wasn’t mad at me and instead, just lazy. And maybe also depressed but that’s just speculation. Now we’re talking again and I’m happy. But he actually wrote me a very kind letter which I was not expecting. I thought everyone would just give me a list, haha. So I was pretty surprised when people like Andrew and Jeanne actually gave me words of affirmation instead. Jeanne is always so supportive of me T v T
I am so cold down here, omona. But I’m listening to my Christian music still and even started to sing along and it just felt very normal and natural. This is who I am. A person that really loves and believes in God and wants to serve Him with their entirety. I do. 
But after eating my pizza bagel, I headed up to work and stayed there for a while and it was a pretty good shift! I enjoyed talking with Ari and Tess and briefly Michaela. Michaela even brought me fries :’) Cleaning and everything was pretty nice and fun though! It was a long shift but I got to finish my annotations  and everything else went pretty smoothly. I might actually draw my thumbnails at work tomorrow so I’ll have something to do. And then...I will work on graphic design, hehehe. 
I’m really bad at reaching out for help and even just praying about it lately and confessing it to God. I think I just need to be ready and willing to let go and take that jump and risk everything for Him. I know that I felt like that before and even though my heart is filled with so much fear right now, I know that it will be so much better once I give everything up to Him. I felt that joy before and there’s nothing like it. 
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