#brain fuckery update for anyone who cares:
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#charlie is rambling#brain fuckery update for anyone who cares:#I've been actively working on those emotional and thoughts bleeding with the perspective that they're not flashbacks#but genuine thoughts from alters and it is working a lot better than acting as if they were my thoughts#it's hard to explain#but when someone else is having a panick attack trying to confort myself never worked#because well now I get that it's not me who is experiencing those#but now that I approach them through the angle of parent trying to confort their kid#it works a lot better#the weird thing is that I've been suspected that i had osdd1 for a while#i've talked about it with a few systems#but I was still not working on it actively#because well denial is a strong part of how dissociative disorders works#and i still have to fight against it#i have alters who are fighting against me knowing#and i know it's normal#its a defence mechanism#but it make it hard to actively work through thing with a system point of view#but it's getting better#also the fact that well I dont have amnesia make it hard to trust myself too#even if I know that not having amnesia is what make it osdd in the first place#it's really fucking hard to not feel like I'm making it up you know
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The Homicidal Herons
pairing: Gale x Tav
wc: 2,782
synopsis: What happens when you take characters from Baldur's Gate 3 and put them in a modern setting as a successful band? A whole lot of fuckery and hijinx. Join Karlach, Astarion, Gale, Zevlor, and Tav as they navigate stardom, come to terms with past traumas, and try to kick current addictions.
warnings: Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Drug Use, Drug Addiction, Drug Abuse, Drugged Sex, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Past Child Abuse, Underage Rape/Non-con, Underage Drug Use, Grooming, Master/Slave, Mental Health Issues, Mental Breakdown, Drunk Sex, transphobia
a/n: So I was supposed to be updating other fics I had been writing, but BG3 came out, and I have been waiting years to play the game as a finished project. When Larian said something in a tweet about what we would name our bard band, my brain wouldn't stop working, and my fingers wouldn't stop typing, so the first chapter is pretty long! Sorry, haha. I hope everyone will enjoy the jumbled mess I created! Defos not beta'd cuz I am lazy.
Oh, and before I forget, this fic will get extremely dark, and I will leave a trigger warning in the notes at the beginning of the chapter, so don't worry! This is also being cross-posted on AO3 and probably Wattpad.
“How about The Pussy Poppers?” Tav asked, writing the name down on the whiteboard display before being immediately struck through by his bandmate.
“Absolutely not, Tav; we can’t have a name like that,” Gale responded, shaking his head in routine disapproval before writing down his suggestion. “What about Waterdeep’s Finest?”
“That only would make sense to you, pal,” Karlach sighed. She didn’t look at either party that recommended a name for their band, opting out to playing with her black expo marker. “Do we really need to come up with a name right now? We need to practice and write new songs. Who cares what our name is,” she explained, tired of wasting precious time bickering over a silly band name when they could be going buck wild on their instruments right about now while coming up with something hard to perform.
“Oh, but darling, a good band name will take you a long way, especially with our talents of course. Would you rather have our adoring fans calling us by some putrid name those two idiots came up with, or you could come up with something angelic that rolls off the tongue?” Astarion questions, giving her a sly smirk, not waiting for her to say anything as he continued, “either way, I think I have the perfect name!” He exclaimed, his earlier smirk growing to an amused grin. ‘The Homicidal Herons’” he beamed, eyeing the group trying to gauge their reactions.
Everyone was quiet. The three questioned looked at each other silently, conversing through their eyes. Tav was the first to break the ice with a hearty laugh. The other members watched cautiously because he only laughed like this when there was a sinister thought swimming through his mind so their only response was to stiffen when Tav suddenly stopped laughing and gave them the brightest smile he could muster. “Gods, Astarion, that’s a fucking stupid ass name!” He started, a light chuckle leaving his lips before he continued, “But I fucking love it.”
That was three years ago, and things changed for them over the years. Old routines are broken to accommodate their ever-growing, fast-paced lifestyle, habits that have gotten out of hand, and the accumulated tension between the lead singer and their base player. But first, let me introduce the band.
Karlach was their ever-loving drummer. The sweetheart of the group lives in positivity but can be truly reckless and emotionally distant when it shows that morally right things aren’t as they should be. She’s usually breaking up the arguments between Gale and Tav when he decides to go on a reckless bender and is usually the one who can hype up the crowd better than anyone else in the band. She hates seeing Tav like this, but what can she do when Tav doesn’t want to listen to anyone?
Gale is their very calm and collected base player. He’s the most sane of the group that has to make sure that the rest of his friends aren’t getting into too much trouble that’ll eventually fuck up what they had. However, he wasn’t immune to their shenanigans as he is Tav’s loyal drug buddy. They like to binge use and take that time to come up with new songs, think about how the drugs enhance their connection to the weave, and try to come up with new cantrips, only for most of those days to end up with them fucking each other and waking up refreshed.
Astarion is the extremely dramatic second guitar. He’s always instigating Tav’s outlandish behavior while feigning ignorance when he gets arrested. He can’t keep his hands off anyone willing to give up their chastity for the night. He has his own demons, which he doesn’t discuss with the rest of the band. They know he’s a vampire and usually feeds off of Tav when he allows; however, there are deeper traumas he has yet to express with the rest of his friends… can he really call them that if he’s keeping them at arm's length? Then we have Tav, their first guitar and lead singer. He is the founder of the band and the one who gets in the most trouble. He tends to get high whenever he feels depressed and hates it when the other members try to get him to understand that his drug use is borderline an addiction. What does he do to combat their complaints? He goes sober for a month before binging heavily, starting the song, and dancing all over again.
The chirping of the local birds outside and the loud calls of the nearby roosters finally stirred the half-sleeping, tired older man awake earlier than he expected. Zevlor slowly sat up on his bed, letting the warmth from his blanket dissipate as it fell from his upper body, letting the early morning chill wake him up. He glanced down at his phone to see the time, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes while he adjusted his sight. There was a reserved sigh that escaped his lips, knowing that the day was going to be stressful. He noticed he woke up at 5:30, thirty minutes before he was supposed to wake up, something unusual but reasonably needed for the day. The Homicidal Herons had a gig that day in a particular city, and Zevlor was already worried about their lead singer traveling there without prior notice. He wanted to tell him, but he knew if he did, Tav would wholeheartedly be against it and would refuse to go along with them to the gig, saying things like “You can find another singer for the night” or “I will kill myself and everyone here before I step foot in that fucking city again Zevlor,” and many more colorful things that Zevlor isn’t too keen on thinking about right now. He knows that he isn't going to tell the male about it but instead is preparing himself to take whatever crap the human was going to give him.
Zevlor was so far down the rabbit hole of his own mind that he didnt notice the male in question had been knocking on his door. So far into his own thoughts, he didnt notice said man sneaking into his bed and under his blanket. So far gone with how he was going to hide their trip that he didn't notice Tav wrapping his arms around the tiefling’s torso as he gently moved his lips closer to Zevlor’s ear before whispering, “Penny for your thoughts, handsome?” he questions, forcing Zevlor to wince from surprise. His heart was beating rapidly from the surprise and close contact he was adjusting to. He was used to Tav's constant flirting and borderline sexual harassment but didn’t mind. He welcomed it honestly but wouldn't let Tav know that. He is technically their band manager, so he wasn't going to overstep his professional boundaries even though it was getting harder and harder. He would be lying if he said he didn’t have a bit of a crush on his client, seeing as how he was able to bring the sad older man out of deep depression when he lost everything that he cared for. Tav didn’t look at him as a lost cause or someone to pity; he genuinely cared about his soon-to-be manager at the time and only wanted to help since he had the means to. That is how he secured the managerial job overseeing an up-and-coming successful band.
Zevlor felt the heat rising from his neck and stretching across both ears; the embarrassment of being caught off guard and having Tav so close to him warmed his entire face. He thanked the Gods for giving him red skin because he wouldn't know what to do if Tav had noticed how hard he was blushing. He cleared his throat, refusing to meet the star-struck gaze he knew the human was giving him, and began his usual speech. “How many times do I have to tell you, Tav, to stop coming into my room without permission?” he growled unintentionally. He wanted to apologize but ultimately gave up and just blamed it on him just waking up. Tav pouted at his tone, which was quickly diminished and replaced with a half-smirk.
“Yeah, yeah, I know Zevy, but I kept knocking, and you wouldn’t answer me, and you left the door unlocked, which is not like you, so I just walked in,” he started, eyeing the tired male while he slowly snaked his arms up from his torso to around his neck while pressing his chest against Zevlor’s arm. “I was worried about you because you went to bed last night way more grumpy than usual, so I wanted to see if you were okay because I knew you were going to be up earlier than normal when you get like that.” he finished, the smirk never leaving his lips. At the same time, he lightly blew air into the tiefling’s large ear.
Zevlor glanced at Tav for a split second before sighing heavily. He was annoyed that Tav knew so many little things about him, yet his heart swelled with how much he cared. He couldn't let his feelings get in the way at the moment, so he feigned annoyance and pushed the male away, much to his and their dismay. “I'm fine, Tav. Just leave my room and get everyone ready to leave. We have to make it to the next gig early this time around so we can make sure everything is perfect unless you want to end up like last time,” he spoke, noticing Tav wince at the mention of their last gig. Tav shook his head and sighed lightly, leaving the bed and Zevlor’s room. At the same time, he let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding in before rubbing at his temples. It was going to be a long day.
Once Zevlor was ready and ensured everything was accounted for on the bus, he reluctantly made his way over to Gale. He didnt have a problem with the wizard per se; it was just that he knew the relationship between the two was sexual and toxic for the both of them, and the less time he was around Gale while he smelled like Tav’s perfume, the better. However, this is such a time when he couldn't stray away.
“Gale, has everyone made sure not to tell Tav where we were going, right?” he asked, scouring around the area to ensure the male wasn't around to hear what they were discussing. Gale glanced over at their manager and proceeded to do the same before giving him an answer. “Of course, Astarion didnt care, so we don’t have to worry about him. But I know it will be hard for Karlach to keep her mouth shut because she doesn't like to lie to Tav… and I agree with her sentiments. I hate lying to people, but lying to Tav about this? Isn't this a bit extreme?” he asked, his brows etching together from the stress of keeping this from the man he’s been actively sleeping with, so being around him in such an intimate way while keeping such a secret from him was eating him up. But he knew it was for a good reason and hated it.
Zevlor could see the distress swimming in Gale’s eyes. He wasn't meant to be someone who keeps things from people he cares about, and Zevlor feels a tinge of guilt for making him hide this from their leader. “I know Gale, and I am sorry for making you keep this from him, but I know you understand why,” he began, watching as Gale nodded before egging him to continue. “It would be either this or watch Tav find different ways to get what he wants, and we all know how ugly that can get.” he sighed, Gale shaking his head at the memory, not wanting to live through that again. After a bit of time and everyone was on the bus, their hired driver soon began to drive off to their next destination. Zevlor had made earlier preparations so they could get to their destination without Tav knowing.
First, it was the tour dates where three cities were surprises (two that they told him were real and the other was fake). Second, the bus windows were tinted and had it covered on the inside that, surprisingly, Tav didn’t question. Third, even though Zevlor was against it, Astarion made sure to supply Tav with enough drugs to keep his mind off of their destination and more on getting high. But the thing is, Tav isn’t stupid. He knew that something was up with everyone other than Astarion. Karlach was being a bit distant with him on the bus, Gale couldn’t even look at him when they spoke and kept the conversations to a minimum, and Zevlor was more attentive to his drug use now than at any other time. At first, he was going to ignore it. He mostly chalked it up to first-time jitters at this new venue they hadn't performed at yet and how the crowd would take them. But, after about 10 hours of driving and the tension growing thicker, the lines of coke just tasted bitter on his brain. With one last snort and a nostril cleaning, Tav had enough.
“What the fuck is going on with you guys?” he stood in the middle of the bus where everyone was gathered around and crossed his arms over his chest. He looked around at everyone, trying to gauge their reactions to see if they would give something up nonverbally, but they were solid as a rock.
“What is wrong my dear? Are the drugs fucking with your head? I told that guy not to try me today.” Astarion commented, his scowl apparent with his fangs visible. He seemed concerned and ignorant of what Tav was trying to get at, but he didn’t relent.
“No, you all are just acting fucking weird. What's going on?” he asked with more authority leaking from his words. The gang looked at one another, wondering who would be the one to crack first before Zevlor broke the tension in the air when he spoke up. “It’s nothing Tav. We’re all just tired and a little nervous about performing somewhere new like they always do.” he tried to persuade the accusor, but it seemed like it wasn't working.
Before Tav could respond, the tour bus jerked to a complete stop, which made everyone but Tav let out a sigh of relief. Tav was getting irritated with everyone, but didnt feel like fighting it out with everyone since they just got there; he just wanted to drop his equipment off and head to their hotel to sleep. But before he could set foot outside the double doors, he was stopped by four bombastic voices yelling, “Wait Tav!” and then his suspicions were confirmed. “Okay, so you all lied to me. Nothing unusual, I guess, but why?” his glare was lethal now, and there was no way out of it. Karlach was the first to speak this time.
“Hey bud, listen, we didnt want to say anything before, but you need to calm down, alright? We didn't mean anything malicious behind it, but you gotta trust us, yeah?” she weakly smiled, watching Tav intently. The smaller male looked up at him with his unwavering glare, refusing to speak. Karlach tried to find the words but came up with nothing. She felt defeated and looked over at Gale for a helping hand.
“Listen, Tav, we wanted to talk to you when we arrived and before we got off the bus. It’s about our next gig and–” Gale cut himself off when he noticed Tav turning his back to the wizard and bolted for the door. The group didn't waste a second chasing after him, yelling for him to stay back so they could talk, but it was going in one ear and out of the other. By the time the other wizard was out of the bus, he was taking in his surroundings. They were parked in front of the venue where he first met the man who destroyed his life. The memories flooded as he held back the sob, trying to force itself out of his throat. The rest of the band froze when Tav turned back their way: his shoulders were shaking, his icy glare fixed on all of them, and the tears threatening to escape from his waterline were apparent, and they knew they had fucked up badly.
“Why the fuck would you bring me here.”
#fanfiction#fanfic#black coded reader#original character#wizard Tav#black human Tav#black wizard Tav#baldur's gate 3#bg3#gale of waterdeep#gale x tav#tav x gale#ch: gale dekarios#vg: baldur's gate 3#series: baldur's gate#baldurs gate#wyll ravengard#astarion#karlach#bg3 zevlor#tav x zevlor#bg3 raphael#zevlor#zevlor x tav#band au#alternate universe#modern#modern au#bg3 tav#bg3 astarion
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Despair
Hey hey, guess who’s back and finally had time to write! Happy Twin Tuesday! This one is...current, I’ll say. That’s all I’m going to say.
Summary: 01/06/2021. Rami and Sami can’t believe their eyes. They cope the only way they know how.
Tags: @the-real-ramimalekpeen @xmxisxforxmaybe @killerqueengigi @txmel @laminy @ramimedley @rathernotmyname @ramilicious @sherlollydramoine @edteche2 @hah0106
---
Sami’s phone was ringing, he could hear it vibrating in his bag from he stood next to his desk, surveying his thirty students, their attention quickly diminishing. He ignored it, even as it rang a second time.
“Alright guys-hey, don’t pack up yet, this is important-reading for tonight is chapter 12, your essays on Slaughterhouse Five are due Friday, so don’t forget.” There were groans heard from around the room, and Sami continued, “and no, I won’t be accepting any late papers; I gave you a month and a half for this. That’s more than generous, get it done.”
There were more groans and Sami smirked inwardly to himself as the bell rang and students began shuffling out the door, with a few calls of “see ya, Mr. Malek!” and Sami smiled. “Yeah, have a good day guys. Nice work today.”
When the last student was out the door, Sami took a moment to himself, glad he now had a free period before his next class. He cleared his throat, and began erasing the notes from the smartboard in preparation for the next round, when his phone vibrated and he remembered someone was trying to reach him, idly wondering what was so important that someone would call him at work.
Skimming his notifications, he frowned. Three texts from Rami, a missed call from him, and two texts from friends which he ignored for the time being, instead reading Rami’s messages:
“I know you’re at work, but you need to see this.” and underneath, in a separate message, a link to a CNN article that read “Rioters break windows and breach US Capitol.”
Sami stared, bewildered, and then read the third message Rami had sent.
“Turn on the news.”
Sami reread the headline, clicking the link Rami had sent, and he skimmed the article, his mind reeling.
“What the fuck...?”
Rami’s response was instant:
“You need to turn on the fucking news. Now.”
Sami wasted no time in rushing to the staff room, thanking his stars he had a break for the next forty minutes. It didn’t surprise him that nearly a quarter of the staff were already there, and he slipped inside, spotting a few of his colleagues from the English department. Even though the second bell had rung, no one in the room bothered to move, their eyes transfixed on the news coverage blaring from the TV. And as Sami turned his gaze to watch too, he felt his stomach sink in dread.
There were a cacophony of murmurs around the room, Sami catching tidbits here and there.
“What are we going to do?”
“There’s nothing we can do right now-”
“No, we can’t just-someone has to explain to the kids-”
“No, they’ll find out soon enough, we keep teaching like normal-”
“This is a high school,” one of Sami’s friends in the history department finally sighed tiredly. “You really think those kids don’t know by now? They have social media and cell phones. They know. And we can go about like usual, but this is something we’re all going to be talking about tomorrow.”
Sami’s eyes drifted back to the television, watching intently as he drowned everyone else out. They were inside the building now, hoards of them, a never ending sight. Sami watched with wide, disbelieving eyes, horrified as people scaled the building walls, smashed through windows, and he couldn’t help but think frantically: why wasn’t anyone doing anything?
He snorted to himself. Right. You know why.
He didn’t think he’d be able to go back to work after this. Slowly, one by one, his colleagues filtered out as most of them had classes to attend to that period and couldn’t push being late anymore. Once he was alone, Sami sank into one of the chairs, eyes glued to the newscast, feeling frozen from what he seeing.
He felt sick.
He texted Rami back and forth, a steady stream of furious conversation, not even realizing when the bell rang. Scrambling out of his seat, he rushed back to his room, just in time for when kids started filing in.
“Hi guys,” he pasted a smile on his face. “Settle down, and we’ll get started.”
He taught on autopilot, the forty minutes going by without him realizing, and before he knew it, kids were standing up and he was calling out the same thing from before: “read chapter twelve tonight, your essays are due Friday...”
Whatever previous intentions Sami had about sticking around the rest of the school day to get his work done, he threw right out the window. Racing home, he dug through his fridge for a beer, and then after better judgement, grabbed another, before he turned his TV on and called Rami.
Sami didn’t even let him say hi. “Are you safe?”
“Yeah,” Rami nodded. He was moving through his apartment, Sami could see, presumably to get to a quieter spot, and his gaze was off to the side, watching something. “I’m fine. Nothing here has happened yet, thankfully.”
“Listen,” Sami said urgently. “Stay inside okay? Don’t go out today if you don’t have to. You don’t-no one knows what will happen. Please.”
“I’m not moving,” Rami said. “I can’t-fucking after this, I can’t concentrate. I’m supposed to be rehearsing lines for tomorrow but fuck that. This is insane.”
Sami watched as the mob of people made their way inside the Rotunda, and he sank onto the couch. Then a few minutes later, they were inside the Senate chamber, pushing things around, and when he changed the channel to find another possible view, there was a photo up of a man carrying a confederate flag.
“Oh my fucking god.”
Rami’s voice was low. “I know. It gets worse.”
“Oh no, don’t say that.”
“They-they took down the American flag,” Rami said with barely restrained rage. “And replaced it. With a fucking Trump flag.”
Sami choked. “You’re not serious.”
“I wish I weren’t. And our president,” Rami scoffed. “is encouraging it. Fucking-” he stopped short, thinking for a moment on whether or not to complete what he wanted to say, before he shook his head in exasperation. “It’s all so exhausting.”
“That’s unconstitutional,” Sami murmured, flipping channels again, and he dropped his beer when he saw the constructed noose on the other side of the Capitol, staining the carpet, but he didn’t care. “Who is that for?! What the fuck!”
“What? What am I missing?”
Sami didn’t answer, still rooted on the spot, watching as officers finally brought out tear gas. “Fuck...is there any update on the Senators?”
“Not that I can tell. Though they are saying a few Republican ones are agreeing with this bullshit.”
Suddenly everything clicked, and Sami realized why today, of all days, this was happening. As he watched the coverage of Trump’s tweet, the rally earlier that morning, he idly wondered how much damage had already been caused, and whatever else he’d missed.
“I’m not drunk enough for this,” he sighed, and Rami chuckled flatly.
“I’ve had a bottle of wine open for the last hour. Wish you were here to join me.”
“Well,” Sami stood up, grimacing at the mess he’d made from the spilled beer. “I can join you from afar. What are you drinking?” Rami gave him the name of a Cabernet they were both fond of, and Sami grinned triumphantly when he found a spare bottle in the back of his wine cooler. Propping his phone up on the counter against the block of chopping knives, he made quick work in opening and pouring himself a generous glass. “Cheers, man.”
“Cheers. What are we cheers-ing to?”
Sami hummed, licking the bit of wine that had dripped down his finger. “To the compete and utter fuckery that has been...the six days of this new year.”
“That works,” Rami was silent for a moment, both of them lost in their thoughts, watching the news again. “You know, I...obviously after the last four years there’s been a lot of unrest and contempt. But to this extent, for thousands of people to..to believe-”
“Say an election is rigged and then stop the process in almost every way they can?” Sami took a generous sip of his wine. “To destroy the Capitol? Yeah. I know.”
“Unbelievable,” Rami said succinctly, and after a moment: “I should’ve stayed in London.”
“They’re not much better,” Sami snickered, glancing at his twin. “Besides, London doesn’t have me.”
Rami laughed. “You think I plan my life around you?”
“What, you mean you don’t? I’m shocked. That hurts.”
“Definitely not,” Rami smirked and Sami laughed.
“Alright hot shot, don’t let that hair gel go to your brain too. There’s enough on your head already.”
“Oh, fuck you,” Rami was grinning, and Sami grinned back.
“Just trying to keep you humble, you know. I don’t give a shit if you have a shiny gold toy now.”
“Wow,” Rami muttered. “You wish your hair looked as good.”
“A greasy mess? Yeah, no thanks.”
Rami laughed again, and Sami grinned, pleased at the fact, sipping his wine again as they turned back to the news. “Fuck, it really is a shit show isn’t it?”
“I’ve always said he would leave the White House, but he’ll burn it down with him as he goes.”
“Yeah,” Sami sighed, his anger boiling all over again. “Looks like it. I wish you were wrong.”
“Me too.”
Glancing at the clock, he saw it had been a hour since he’d gotten home, which meant it was around 4pm on the east coast. Tuning back to the coverage, the mob outside the Capitol had grown, more people were scaling the wall to get inside, and Sami couldn’t help but think how all too easy it was for them.
“So uh...where’s the tear gas? The rubber bullets? The arrests?”
Rami snorted. “You’re fucking kidding, right? C’mon. Like that applies to them.”
Sami snorted too, and then laughed weakly, which turned into a laughing fit, and he could hear Rami calling his name. “Sorry...it’s just...fuck all of them.”
Rami raised his glass in a toast before he downed it in one go, pouring another serving. “Amen.”
“God, how am I supposed to explain this to my kids? You’re telling me I have to go to work tomorrow after this?”
“Same here,” Rami said. He was moving again, and Sami could see he was back in the kitchen too, digging through his refrigerator. He produced a bunch of grapes, a platter of salami, and a block of cheddar cheese, and Sami watched as he began to assemble an antipasti platter for one. “I don’t want to head to work. Seems pointless, after this.”
Sami bit his lip thoughtfully. “It’s not...useless. Use it. You’re angry-”
“Angry? No, I’m well passed pissed off at this point.”
“There you go. Use it, use that rage towards your scenes and whatever your character is. It’s...” Sami shrugged meekly at Rami, who was watching him intently. “It’s the only thing we can do at times like this, right?”
“I suppose,” Rami muttered, a tired expression on his face, and popped a grape into his mouth. He turned around, opening the fridge again and came back holding some hummus and olives in his hand. “I imagine it’ll be the only thing anyone will talking about for the next week. Rightfully so.” He opened the olives, laying a few of them out next to the salami, and stuck the jar back into the fridge.
Sami was bemused. “How much are you eating?”
“As much as it takes to get through this shit show. I’m supposed to be on a diet right now, but I don’t give a shit. If I’m going to wine and dine watching this, I might as well do it properly.”
“Now I really wish I were there.”
“Yeah, me too. It would make it more bearable. But...this will do for now.”
Sami went silent, watching the TV again, which was now reporting about gunshots and a woman wounded. “Jesus Christ.”
Rami was muttering under his breath. “Shit, shit, shit, shit-”
They didn’t speak after that, both of them too lost in watching the news coverage, and Sami gripped his glass tightly as took a breath in to ease his anxiety.
Swallowing, he poured another glass, knowing he wouldn’t be finishing the bottle, and instead capped it and placed it in the fridge for tomorrow. It was an odd feeling, one that “scared” wouldn’t be able to cover. It was a looming, threatening feeling; something like this was so deeply entrenched in the fabric of the country. It wasn’t something that would go away on January 20th, as much as he wished for that. He wasn’t surprised that people had so much hatred for anyone other than themselves were coming out of the woodwork, blindly following what their commander in chief told them. The repercussions of this day would be something that would take a long time to repair.
“I’m tired,” he said suddenly. Rami’s voice was quiet, and though Sami didn’t elaborate, Rami seemed to understand what he meant perfectly.
“I know. So am I.”
---
When the crowds eventually thinned out, and Sami went back to work the next morning, he read the highlights of things he’d missed, flipping through the photos of the wreckage before the first period bell rang. When students trickled in, he was met with a sea of somber faces, and he knew he wouldn’t be teaching his regular lesson plans for the day. He felt enraged all over again.
Instead, he hopped up onto his desk, sitting cross legged and observing his students. “Alright. I would be...a very poor educator if I didn’t bring up what happened yesterday to all of you. And I know you’ll hear about it later in the day, I’m sure, but what we do here as teachers affects you guys for the rest of your lives. Now I don’t really care if you can’t tell me the imagery themes in The Great Gatsby, but I do care if you can’t think for yourselves. You’ll be reading and hearing a lot different things in the next coming weeks from people who think they’re right. And you’re all old enough, in my opinion, to have your own opinions on this. That being said, we all know what the banned book list is, correct?”
There were students nodding, and Sami nodded too, and he hopped off the desk to pull said list up. “Good. Pick a book from here, read it. There’s a reason all these books are banned from certain school curriculum, and I want you guys to pick one, and tell me why. It’s January. For every book you manage to get through from now till June, if you give me a one page analysis on your thoughts, I’ll give you extra credit that counts towards your final.” His students perked up at that, and he smiled inwardly. “Five points for every book, sound good?” There were murmurs of approval, and Sami continued, “it’s not mandatory, so don’t feel pressured to this. But I would...appreciate it if you did.”
“What if we read them all?” Someone asked.
There was always one.
Sami’s lips quirked up in amusement. “Good luck. You’ll notice there’s plenty of books on there we’ve read already.”
His students started chattering excitedly, and Sami cleared his throat, glancing at his copy of The Color of Water, which is what they were studying now. They would be finishing that tomorrow, the test for it was Monday, something which Sami had to make over the weekend. He hadn’t decided what to teach next, his gaze drifting to the copies of To Kill A Mockingbird in the back of the classroom, which was what he was planning to start Monday, after the kids took their test.
He debated on it, and then Rami’s words came back to him from the night before.
“He’ll leave the White House, but he’ll burn it down with him as he goes.”
He cleared his throat. “Guys, we’re just going to finish reading for the rest of the period, and we’ll go over the whole book for tomorrow before your test. So if you’ve got your books, take ‘em out.”
Later, once his classes were over for the day, he headed to the library, intent on finding Maria and asking for his next lesson plans.
“Hey Sami,” she greeted. “Back again? How’d they fare with Color of Water?”
“Not bad,” Sami said. “We’re finishing it up, test is Monday.”
“So, you’re here for Mockingbird?”
“No I’ve got Mockingbird,” he murmured, scanning the bookshelves. “That was what I was going to go with originally, but I’ve had a change of heart. Do you know if any of the faculty is teaching Orwell at the moment?”
“The freshmen, some of them are doing Animal Farm. But none of the AP classes right now. Which one?”
Sami spotted what he was looking for, and based on the piles of books they had, no one else had taught it yet, or he was late to the game.
“1984.”
#twin tuesday#twin tuesday fic#sami malek#rami malek#malek twin appreciation#this might not be people's cup of tea#but i've been so angry#come chat with me about the fuckery that is known as the united states government#I tried not to make this too on the nose or preachy#hopefully I succeeded#A note: this doesn't take place in a quarantined zoom classroom obviously#even though LA is awful right now#teachers in this fandom#please tell me if I did the school setting correctly or not
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ask answering/updates
first of all, thank you 💘 second of all...
ok ok ok don’t get too excited, but I finally got the juice to start working on the next part of Fanatic 🖤 most of you guys will be like ‘who cares’ but i know some of you have been waiting for this for a while! it’s been what, 2 months?? hope I’m not jinxing myself by saying this *knocks on wood* also not to hype myself too much but it’s kinda bomb 😳 maybe this is just my sick bias but I’ve really been wanting to write about...aftermath iykwim haha. reader all scared & shy & trying to avoid him but yk he’s not going to leave her alone :P
I also figured out the ending to it will come back!! it wouldn’t be shiggy if it didn’t get dangerous 😈 also gonna be nice to write some eyes-rolling-back-in-the-head fuckery so our favorite handsy creep can finally get his dick wet with his beloved little nursey <3
here are some other vague ideas, some based on requests, some not. as always no promises!!
BNHA—pillage & plunder with fantasy AU warlord Bakugo (and his gang of ruffians?? hmm...)
BNHA—Overhaul makes you work off your daddy’s gambling debts the extra hard way uwu...also I have SO many ideas for Overhaul 😷 after I finish iwcb my next multi-part fic will probably be with him
BNHA—various things with reader as an aspiring villain set in the same universe as Caught in the Act: reader getting quarantined with shiggy & dabi...dabi getting mad at you after you keep fucking up...incel shiggy jacking it to his adorable protégée without her knowledge (a galaxy brain request from a very good buddy!!!!)
BNHA—ABO with alpha Hawks and omega reader in an elevator...and uh-oh, it’s stuck! and you’re going into heat! oh no, whatever will you do??
Haikyuu—you get stuck in a hole in a wall, good thing your dutiful boyfriend Kuroo is there to help you out ;)
Haikyuu—gangbang with Tsukki, Bokuto, Akaashi, and Kuroo...a challenge bc I’ve never written a gangbang before!! will have to do some research 🧐
Haikyuu—your bf Atsumu does mean things when he’s jealous, like putting his hands up your skirt in public
KNY—Kokushibou decides to keep a shrine maiden as his cute little human pet 💜 actually already wrote pt. 1 but I’ll wait to post til I’m done with Fanatic
AxK—just some no good very bad yandere content with Dr. Midori...neglect play stuff...sensory deprivation stuff...icky icky
Gintama—something with Kamui. does this count as monsterfucking? very very rough...idk what exactly? some form of dastardly acts
thanks for the concern friends 💕💕 I’ve been preoccupied by things happening irl for the past few weeks, trying to educate myself, going to protests, etc.
also in case anyone else is confused, my stance is and always has been that Black lives matter and all cops are bastards. I’m not sure my porn blog is the right place to talk about this at length but if you’re a bootlicker, please smash that unfollow button and don’t let the door hit you on the way out. if you don’t already have a decently functioning moral compass you should not get anywhere near my writing...fr
learn more and get involved
omg thank you & yes yes a million times yes!!! hope you don’t mind commitment issues and student loan debt 💝👯♀️
the line between not hawksfucker and hawksfucker is very thin and very blurry, beware.....lol and thank you!!
the video you recommended...like damn!!! that’s exactly the vibe I feel like fratty Hawks x reader from be a little bad would be like if they had a happy ending eventually (start at 1:39)!!!!! “I didn’t make you do this” “I’m not accusing you of anything” it’s that exact dynamic. imo Hawks might be a little less willing to make things official and reader would prob have a hard time being straightforward enough to ask tho...hmmm
I did get several requests for a part 2! I’m thinking it over atm. I will say tho that most of my reqs have very slow turnaround so if I write it, it might be a while
ooh I love getting recommendations! here’s what I like:
fanfic: I read stuff like what I write (smut, kink, yandere, villains). at some point I’m going to make a long post of fic recs of my own! I also read fluff and character x character ship fic so interests are pretty broad
TV: humor, crime shows like Bones, Criminal Minds, Psych, that kind of thing. nothing too dark or complicated, nothing that requires too much investment. same goes for anime
movies: pretty much everything! lately I’m really into Howl’s Moving Castle and Once Upon a Time in Hollywood
books: literary fiction. can I say I’m into dark academia if the only dark academia I’ve read is The Secret History? favorite books I’ve read semi-recently are TSH, All the Light We Cannot See, The Poisonwood Bible, and Discipline & Punish. currently reading Foucault’s History of Sexuality
music: idk man...all kinds of stuff. I listen based on vibe more than genre. all my spotify playlists are named things like “sunday” and “the power” and “[sparkle emoji]”. my artists on repeat are Hozier, The Weeknd, Kendrick, M.I.A., The Neighborhood (F I’m a basic bitch) but I’ll try anything once
jfc these two asks have given me so much hope 🥰😭💗 you know what? sooner or later I’m going to post Kamui x reader smut and it’s going to get 3 notes from the three of us liking it and that’s okay because I’ve thirsted over this man too long and too hard to go my entire life without reading over-indulgent reader-insert porn of him. yes the villain kink jumped out but DAMN!!! the man has ‘h*rny scumbag who lets his instincts rule him’ baked into both his DNA and his psyche, and I’m so here for it 😌
if you don’t know who Kamui is, do me a favor and watch gintama. yes there are like 400 episodes but it’s worth it. I will convert more bitches to the gintama thirst train if it costs me my life. Kamui was made to star in disrespectful breeding kink smut and this is a hill I will die on.
??? sure, if you can point me toward part 2 ????? lmao
I’m guessing you meant to ask for a pt 2 instead of pt 3? in which case, thanks for asking!! but tbh...for some reason I have a really hard time imagining what a pt 2 would look like, maybe because I wrote it 100% from Overhaul’s POV so it’s hard for me to define the reader’s feelings. I’m not saying it’ll never happen but 🤷♀️
HOWEVER if it’s Overhaul content in general you’re craving, you’re in luck!!! he’s a favorite of mine. legit he ticks so many of my boxes—villain kink? check. medical/scientist kink? check. yakuza kink? honey I’m weak. I’ll definitely be writing more for him in the future!
oh no! I checked it on my computer & on mobile and all of the links are working for me? are the links still broken for you guys?
anyway, here are the rules, here’s the short version of the request rules, and here is part 1 and part 2 of it will come back.
thank you to everyone who has sent kind words, everyone who replies to my writing, and everyone who posts thirst in the tags!!! I read that shit!!!! and it makes me fucking cry, I love you all
one more thing: several people have requested continuations to Sleepless, Sidekick, and Fanatic. on one hand, I’m so flattered that you guys want more!!! on the other hand, I actually already answered asks about pt. 2′s for those particular fics. before you request a continuation of anything, it’s probably a good idea to look up the name of the fic as a tag on my blog so you can check and see if anyone else had the same question 💖💖💖
#bunny talks#bnha#haikyuu#kny#gintama#AxK#about me#personal#recommendations#updates#yubitsume#bealittlebad#caughtintheact#itwillcomeback
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DISCLAIMER AND RULES
These are the UPDATED directions/guidelines for all who want to participate/contribute to this blog. Our topics of conversation revolve mostly around 30 Seconds to Mars/the Leto Bros, but we have been known to also discuss various other current events around the world.
By reading, and especially by contributing, on what goes on around this blog, you are willingly agreeing with all guidelines and directions I have mentioned below - no exceptions.
I am willing to give a space to those who wish to discuss Mars (or other topics), and I am washing my hands from any and all fuckery that may ensue from other people´s opinions.
Also worth mentioning: I am fully aware that some people who publicly and very vocally denounce any interest in either this blog or Mars gossip lurk around this blog and then spread shit elsewhere on the internet.
By doing that, you are essentially outing yourself as a quiet kmp78 admirer, so to speak.
Or a fangirl, if that suits better. 🤗
Alright then... READ.
1. This blog is laced with sarcasm, jokes, stupid and often very dark humor and PERSONAL OPINIONS - both mine and the people who participate in our conversations. This is not CNN, BBC or even Fox News - this is a personal blog run by a (sort of) fan. Not someone with inside information, and not someone whose opinions and views should be taken too seriously, and definitely not as gospel. I have no direct access to anyone in the Mars organization, and I do not work for them.
2. Nor do I work for YOU. This may be a blog which is mainly used for discussions about all things Mars and all opinions and topics are welcome, but the only one in charge is ME. I decide if a message gets published, if a message gets edited, if a message gets deleted - and if the sender gets blocked.
And not that it really needs to be said, but here goes anyway: I do not work for any Leto troll either.
3. And speaking of blocking:
those who send threats or offensive messages will be blocked, as will anyone who I deem block-worthy. Rest assured, I never block anyone without a reason, so if you should discover that you have been blocked, that means I had a reason. I may or may not inform publicly when a person has been blocked, depends on my mood.
4. Everyone who sends messages is responsible for their own words - I do not accept any blame for other people´s opinions. Misunderstandings by accident or on purpose are not my headache. If I suspect a message will potentially cause unnecessary problems or annoyance for me, I will not post it (or will edit it), and I don´t owe anyone any explanations as to why I´m not posting it. I may explain, or not - that´s up for me to decide.
In any case, as I said: I will not take responsibility for anyone else´s words other than mine, and screaming at me over here or elsewhere online regarding comments someone else made and I posted...
Well, that´s just infantile. 🙄
5. All opinions are welcome, positive AND negative. A positive opinion does not automatically make you a sheep, and a negative opinion does not automatically make you a hater.
Readers to this blog should be adult enough to handle both sides.
6. Calling women sluts or whores is not ok here.
You also need to be able to tell the difference between calling a woman a whore and calling a Leto a whore. If you can´t understand the difference, then get out immediately.
SPECIAL CLAUSE:
the term “YACHT GIRL” when used in connection with an actually legit model who YOU ARE JEALOUS OF BECAUSE SHE GETS TO BONE A MAN YOUR FLABBY LOINS BURN FOR, actually is the equivalent of you calling her a whore, so kindly DO NOT.
Use whatever brain cells your parents genes bestowed upon you and make them at least somewhat proud. That should hopefully partially make up for the disappointment they most probably are already feeling knowing you actually read and participate in this shit.
7. What is also not ok is accusing people of crimes, calling them psychopaths, or threatening others with physical violence etc. - not even sarcastically or as jokes.
Think of it this way:
when typing your message, if at any point you think that what you are writing might come across differently or more seriously to the person reading it than to you while writing it - then do not write it. Any innuendo about people´s potential “social diseases” is not welcome either, and neither are accusations of “obsessions” and people “stalking” the men this blog is focused on. Be VERY careful when using these terms.
YOU are responsible for your own words. I cannot stress that enough.📣
8. We use a lot of initials and nicknames in our conversations - for a reason.
Do not use people´s real names in messages.
If you do not know who a particular person is, please come ask via chat (directions on how to use the chat feature can be found here). I may or may not blur out a name in a message if I think it´s necessary.
9. I post a lot of pics, gifs - and most of them are found from Google using various search terms, and sadly have no tags or indications as to who is the owner/maker. I don´t own any of the pics or gifs, or videos for that matter either (except the ones I have made and labeled as my own). If you find something of yours posted and prefer not to have it up or to have your name added as credits, please let me know and I will remove it.
As for links to either newspaper articles, IG accounts, other blogs or the like: you can find credits to the sources by either clicking on the links, or if I have decided to post screen caps, in the pics themselves. Again, I do not write articles or make videos and very, very rarely post anything other than other people´s comments - after all, this is prominently a discussion blog now. Opinions/messages from other people represent THEIR views and thoughts, my views/thoughts can be seen in my answers (in case of submits or multi-part messages, you will find my contributions to the message after this sign: ***).
To make this very clear: we don´t make news here, we discuss them.
10. When sending submits, if you are unsure of others potentially seeing your “ID”, please mention in your message that you want to remain anon and I will post it anon. Also please remember tho that there is no such thing as complete anonymity - so be careful when writing down your thoughts. Censor yourself if necessary - don´t make problems for me or others, or yourself.
11. I use Statcounter on this blog, which means I can see IP addresses from people visiting this site. However I choose to use that information is up to me, so if you are scared shitless of being outed due to your own actions/words, then DO NOT COME HERE.
If I out your IP, then there is a reason for it.
Don´t give me reasons if you want to remain in the shadows.
(And same goes for chat messages btw: don´t pretend to be my friend in private, but then turn your back and stab me in it in public. More often than not I WILL find out, and if I choose to then out your bullshit by posting private messages, THAT´S ALL YOUR OWN DOING, KIDDOS.
Play nice with me and you have nothing to worry about.
Start kicking dirt in my face and...🤷♀️
12. If you are addressing your message directly to someone (= other than me), please say so CLEARLY in your message, for example by starting your message with “For anon who said...”, or something along those line. I have had it with misunderstandings and unnecessary messes due to unclear messages! BE SPECIFIC!
13. ONLY write either in English or Finnish. I won´t waste my time on Google Translate, I have enough on my plate as it is and your weirdo mongrel lingos are boring as hell anyway.
14. DO NOT SEND MESSAGES WITH THE SOLE PURPOSE OF STIRRING UP SHIT - OR TO INSULT OTHER COUNTRIES OR NATIONALITIES. That would rank quite high the PATHETIC categories...
15. I won´t post content from so-called private/non-celeb accounts such as Leto trolls (= VK for example IS a celeb so whatever she posts is most deffo getting posted, but anything posted by Lesser´s harem probs won´t be).
16. READ PREVIOUS MESSAGES! READ PREVIOUS MESSAGES! READ PREVIOUS MESSAGES! READ PREVIOUS MESSAGES! READ PREVIOUS MESSAGES!
I´m beyoooooooond bored answering the same questions over and over again, sometimes in the space of just a few hours! The archives and search option are available on my blog for a reason! USE THEM. 😠
17. When sending messages containing info or “receipts” or whatever it may be that you think we should be made aware of, either clearly state WHERE that info can be found and WHO you are talking about. Do not simply send a message a´la “VK can be seen on Monica´s/Richard´s/Beatrice´s IG”. We don´t know who these people are! You may, but we don´t! I do not follow a single model or fashion industry creeper on social media so FIRST NAMES mean fuck all to me. GIVE FULL DETAILS OR SHUT THE FUCK UP.
18. IF I SAY A TOPIC IS OFF-LIMITS, THEN YOU WILL RESPECT THAT.
19. I usually try to post messages in the same order they have been sent - with a few exceptions:
If a situation arises which calls for “immediate attention” (new troll pics or other sudden Mars-related activity, for example), I may leave older messages for later and focus on newer ones first. Also when I am operating on my mobile, I am often unable to post certain messages (videos etc.), so those will be left for later when I am back to an actual computer.
20. More often than not, tumblr fails to deliver messages to my inbox. If you suspect that yours has not been delivered, please send it again. I don´t mind getting duplicates.
21. If I feel that a message offers no relevant or needed content, I won´t post it. For example, a message such as “JL & XX in Japan bang bang” is unnecessary and pointless and not worth posting. I only have 250 allowed posts per day, and on busy days I have to make judgments on what is worthy of posting and what is not. I apologize if I therefore have to skip some messages.
When I run out of allowed posts here, I will let everyone know that I am switching over to use the secondary blog which can be found at @kmp78secondaryblog
(PLEASE NOTE: That blog is ONLY used when we run out of room here, and I never go there unless I have to so please don´t send any messages to that blog unless I inform we have to move there!)
AND FINALLY PLEASE REMEMBER:
THIS IS A FANDOM FOR A BAND.
NOT A MATTER OF LIFE AND DEATH.
ACT ACCORDINGLY.
Creating hater accounts dedicated to POSTING PICTURES OF MY BLOODY EYEBALL (that btw actually happened because of course it did! This is the echeLOOOOOON after all! 👍) won´t make me quit this blog, so...
Yeah.
Anyway, for further information, please contact me via private message here, on my IGs, or at [email protected].
Thank you. 🙏
PS: In case you run into accounts/comments made under my tumblr “identity”, or otherwise unauthorized “kmp78″ activity outside of tumblr which you recognize as being linked to this blog in any way (such as my posts being tagged with JL´s tags etc.), please report them immediately, both to the admins of the sites you found these accounts on, and to me directly so I can take appropriate action, thanks.
Any of my personal pics taken from this blog have been taken without permission and I have never and will never give permission to post them anywhere. And when I say I “appropriate action”, I mean just that. If need be, I will be contacting the authorities, like I did when I received public death threats.
Be very aware that my tolerance for that is less than zero - and also be aware that these guidelines and my rules may change whenever I feel the need to change them.
#DEAL ✌️
#updated rules#updated regulations#read and learn#think you can?#i don´t have high hopes#dumbfuckchelon
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do you have any recommendations on how to like. Take In Umineko. I think it looks really cool and I’d like to get into it, but there’s a lot of things that are confusing (like all of the different games, the manga, the anime, ect.) and I’m not really sure where to start watching/reading it. Do you have any advice on where the best place to start is?
HOH BABY NOW THIS IS A GOOD ASK
Basically, a lot of this depends on you and how you prefer to take in media. People are different after all; some people like reading long novels, some prefer comics, u know! So let’s just go over all the avenues and how to get at them, and the rest is up to you!
I’m gonna make this post very long. VERY VERY LONG. IM SO FUCKn SORyr
First, I’ll talk abt what umineko is; then I’ll discuss the various media; finally, at the end, I’ll write down what I typically recommend to newcomers! SCROLL REALLY FAST TO THE HEADERS IF U HAVE NO TIME FOR MY RAMBLING LOL
So…here we goooo
READING UMINEKO: UNTANGLING THE WEB
OR: what the fuck is umineko and why do you want me to read it, diesel?
Since this is a general To Whom It May Concern post: Umineko no Naku Koro ni (Or Umineko: When They Cry, alternatively When The Seagulls Cry) is a murder mystery/fantasy/metafiction visual novel published between 2007 and 2011. I know “murder mystery” and “metafiction” sound pretty boring when you combine them, but trust me–Umineko’s unlike anything you’ve seen, and defies explanation. Still, I’m here to do my best!
Umineko is about a rich and complicated family, and their annual family conference–and the year it goes super duper badly. On an isolated island, in the middle of a typhoon, tragedy befalls the family–on a massive scale! Someone is killing them–all of them–and the only answer that seems to be rising is–
“Beatrice did it.”
But Beatrice isn’t supposed to really exist. Not for real!! No one by that name is on the island. It’s just a story! She’s made up–Beatrice is a legend. A witch who has lived for a thousand years–who loaned the family patriarch ten tons of gold, an insane amount of wealth, in exchange for his soul. Now she’s collecting on that loan, taking everything back, with interest–the lives of the family included.
Is the culprit a human, or not? Does the witch exist, or not?Is the culprit one of the 18 people? Does a 19th person exist? Or…?And, most importantly–when the typhoon passes, will anyone remain alive on the island?
[YouTube: Umineko opening]
I’d super-recommend Umineko if you enjoy: strong characterization, a solidly built mystery (with plenty of smaller mysteries to try your brain with along the way ;) ), complex and nuanced characters, hype magic fights, Logic-Based Combat(???), deep discussions of trauma and its consequences, large casts of characters, Genre Fuckery, coping, Meta™, and milfs Complex Lore
I would, however, NOT recommend Umineko if you are triggered by/can’t stomach reading about: body horror, gore, death, trauma, child abuse, bullying, discussion of suicide, discussion of sexual assault, etc (you can message me for a more complete list of warnings; I’m happy to provide super-specific ones if there’s something specific you’re concerned about, or even give you specific scenes to watch out for. I kept this vague on purpose, but if you message me off anon or via DMs here or at @aceyasu, I’ll be happy to answer anything!)
Overall it’s a pretty dark, emotional story, with a lot of Themes™–but it’s also full of love and genuine heartfelt Feelings. I don’t think any story has touched me the way Umineko has! Of course, everyone’s experience is very unique to them, but I think Umineko has something for everyone (provided, of course, that we’re taking into account the content warnings and excluding people who can’t/don’t want to encounter those things!). The characters, music, story and message–it all has a lot of heart and it all is very important to me as an individual. Obviously no media is flawless, but I think Umineko’s good outweighs its bad…YMMV though of course :p
Also, hype magic fights.
OKAY WITH THAT OUT OF THE WAY
Umineko’s story is told over 8 arcs–styled as “episodes”. I use “arc” and “episode” sort of interchangeably! Specific ones I just call “EP#” though. All you really need to know though is there’s 8 of them, of varying length, and you have to read them all for the full story.
Thankfully they’re numbered, am i right?? HAFDmgkdfmg
Each episode has its own focus within the overarching narrative and comes with its own fun mysteries and harrowing developments just for you! yay! But basically, the important thing is that they’re divided into the Question Arcs (1-4) and Answer Arcs (5-8).
Sometimes, to make things confusing, the Answer Arcs are also called “Core Arcs” or “Chiru”. I will use “Answer Arcs” here, but if you encounter those two elsewhere, that’s what they are. :p
ACTUALLY EXPERIENCING UMINEKO
(now that im done YAPPING)
The anime
Generally viewed as a poor product. It’s a bad adaption that fails as a standalone, too, because of the amount of important scenes that are missing. Don’t watch the anime first if you really want to get into Umineko. It’s a fun watch once you know how it’s supposed to go, though :p Covers the Question Arcs only, ends with EP4–so even if it was good, it would only be half the story… press f to pay respects. The opening fuckin slaps though, and all the VAs are solid.
The manga
Each Episode has its own manga adaption, usually done by a different artist (with exception of EP1, EP3, and EP8, which are all by the same artist). Generally solid; gets the most important parts. For people who want to get through quicker, the manga helps a lot.
The primary cost is that a lot of characterization doesn’t get to shine AS bright, as there’s simply no time to get into the nooks and crannies (still a great cast, though). However, the art is usually fantastic–since the artist changes every EP, it’s easy to deal with even if you don’t like a specific one’s style. It’ll be gone by next Episode!
A lot of moments get punched up by the more visual format of the manga. You really get a better sense of the characters interacting physically with one another! You do, however, run into the Scanlation Problem…..
I know, I know–most people, when given the option to, don’t want to pay for things. So when given the choice between fan scanlations and the official release, a lot of people would choose the scanlations. And they’re fine…for the most part…except for the parts that aren’t. Some parts (notably in the Answer Arcs) are…bad. Really bad. Even I can’t really understand it sometimes, despite knowing this story inside out… LOL
If you’re good at parsing Scanlation SNAFU or can’t afford/don’t want to buy it, you can find Umineko on MOST manga hosts! I don’t know which you prefer so I’m not gonna link ‘em hahahafkgmfh I usually use Manga Rock but that’s because I usually am reading on my phone and I like their app. The episodes are all numbered, so it’s pretty easy to find your way around!
On the other hand, if you have a hard time understanding poor translations, reading inconsistent typesetting/fonts, or simply Can afford it/prefer buying media, the manga is being officially released in English by YenPress! As is standard nowadays, you can get them in both physical volumes and digital e-books! However, YenPress’ release is currently ongoing–the first volume of EP8 is slated to release in March.
[YenPress link]
The visual novel
Ah, here we are–the head honcho himself…! This is the original version of Umineko. These are the ones we call “games”, and why we sometimes say u “play” Umineko, but. Really. It’s just reading. They’re kinetic novels. Its literally just reading. So I don’t know why we complicate things like that.
(“if she an .exe, shes a game”, I guess… xD)
This is where the characterization and voice of Umineko really shines! The style is often simple to read, sometimes even comically casual, but it cuts deep when it wants to. Even really simple lines can have a really strong impact–it’s a really pleasant style to read, IMO…pretty easy to understand most of the time, but emotionally resonant all the same!
Reading the VN is somewhat of an undertaking, because of the amount of hours required…It’s a far longer read. Depending on your reading speed and whether or not you pause to think/talk about things as you read, people clock in 100-200 hours to finish it.
But, on the upside–because it has so much more time than the manga, the VN can really get deep into the characters, their dynamics, and their inner conflicts. You really get a deep sense for everyone’s character and it makes most of the cast feel fleshed-out enough that you appreciate all of them to some extent (whether positive or negative :P)
Oh, actually–the original Umineko branded itself a “Sound Novel”….as opposed to a Visual Novel, where the emphasis is on, uh–Visuals–Umineko leans more heavily on audio to create its atmosphere. And the music? Fuckin rips!! The Umineko soundtrack is huge and has tons of absolute bangers. It’s easy to see why it decided to market itself as a Sound Novel rather than a visual novel–the graphics of the original PC version are simple, but the atmospheric sound effects and BGM really shines.
Here’s some enticing tracks to pique yr interest (be careful about the comments/etc though, there’s Definitely spoilers in there xD)[worldenddominator] [dead angle] [dir] [system0] [hope]
The VN nowadays is split into the two halves; if you get EP4, it’ll include 1-3 as well, essentially. Picking up Question Arcs (or EP4) and Answer Arcs (or EP8) gives u the whole 8 episodes. Easy peasy! Because we live in the future now, and retroactive inclusion of past games is just convenient!
There is an official English release now, which is a brand new luxury. It’s even on Steam! Wow! That’s the easiest way to get your paws on the hands-on experience. The translation has been slightly updated as well! Also, they added a new set of toggle-able graphics that are…um…I mean they’re certainly new…#BarelyContainedOpinionAlert
If you don’t want to pay or can’t afford it…uhhh….I used to have torrent links but they’re all dead. :T still, you can probably just find them, if you know your way around torrents. For the translation, you’ll have to either get a pre-patched version of the game, or use the translation group’s instructions to patch it yourself.
If you can’t do either of those, or just don’t really have a preference, or…any number of reasons, you can also find all the games fully recorded and uploaded to YouTube (with or without commentary)!
As for the links, I’ve got them right h–
Wait–oh, sh–the graphics are bad?!? You think the graphics are bad? Or you think plain reading is boring? Y-you can’t understand what the background image in this scene is even supposed to be? Ah…the post-2007 struggle….
The visual novel, Part Deux: AH, THE JPEGS edition
OKAY SO I SPLIT THIS APART BECAUSE IT*S IMPORTANT
If you wanna spruce up your VN-reading experience, here’s the thing: they ported the game to PS3, with brand new graphics and–get this–full voice acting. Wow! There’s even CGs now…Jeez!
These are NOT the same graphics as the new ones from the official English release! That’s important!
SO, if you wanna spruce up the graphics a bit, or you enjoy voice acting with your novels, you can do that! People took apart the PS3 games and made patches for the PC version to enjoy the new graphics and voices. And now it’s available for the Steam version as well!
[SPRITE COMPARISON: ORIGINAL PC | PS3 | STEAM]You pick your favorite!
ALSO VOICE ACTING! WOW!! Remember how I said the anime got two things right and they were the OP and the voice cast?
SAME CAST, BABEY!!!! They are all excellent and do a wonderful job! It can really add some more interest if you struggle with staying focused on “plain” reading.
Okay so NOW the links:
You’ll have to dig up torrents yourself if you want those, bc its 6am and I’m too sleepy to… uzu
QUESTION ARCS[Physical Eng release] or [Steam page] +[PS3 PATCH]
ANSWER ARCS[Physical Eng release] or [Steam page] +[PS3 PATCH]
YOUTUBE[Non-commentated, with PS3 patch] you can find more just by searching but this one looks good to me :p
RONTRA OPINIONS / SUGGESTIONS
Personally, I favor the VN for most scenes, but the manga for my light casual reading. Y’know? The VN can be pretty…um…dense, at times.
Ironically, I think EP1 itself might be the biggest hurdle for total first-timers. It’s definitely paced as a “part 1 of 8″ for the first solid portion! By which I mean, it really takes its time establishing the cast and their individual situations. Which isn’t a bad thing–especially in the overarching scope of how long the story is–but if you aren’t sure about the premise, format, or if you’ll enjoy Umineko at all, it can be sort of…challenging.
It all really depends on the individual–things like attention span, investment, and personal preferences, imo. Some people just don’t enjoy reading that much text at once! And that’s fine! Some people love it and that’s fine! Some people think the intro is too long, some people think it’s intriguing from the start. Some really like watching character building, and some prefer to see action happening. Either way is fine, so it’s really up to you!
Usually, if someone isn’t sure, I suggest they try EP1 in manga form first, just to see if the general premise entices them; it’s fully possible to jump back and do the VN if you decide you like it! It sacrifices some characterization in exchange for exploring the main premise a little faster.
Similarly, if you just can’t get into the VN–you can read the entire thing with manga too, if you favor action over the deepest character lore. It’s still a good time and a good experience!
Though, in EP1′s favor–if you ARE sure about it, and are able to dedicate your attention to the first 10-13 hours of set-up, EP1 has one of the most rewarding escalations I’ve encountered! If you are able to sit and read a fairly long-winded introduction, you are rewarded with the most buck wild Popping Off you can imagine.
So there’s nothing wrong with jumping right in there with the VN, if you enjoy reading!
However, if you do find that the VN is dragging too much for you, you can go in reverse too–and finish EP1 by manga, then decide if you want to jump back to the VN or not. I promise, the novels pick up the pace too–it’s just getting all the introductions down that can be daunting, when the initial cast size is a staggering 18 people (plus the LORE has to be established too)!!
Just for you–if you want to get into Umineko, but struggle with EP1, I’ll offer my private archive of YenPress manga rips for EP1–read the manga, official english translation, for free thanks to your dealer friend, rontra,You will have to message me about it, though–off anon or via DMs, here or at @aceyasu.
My favorite setups when I play by myself are either Original PC Graphics + Voice Acting, or Full PS3 Patch. I personally really like the original PC graphics, but I understand some people think they’re kinda…um…Rough, to say the least xD PS3 graphics are a close second for me though.
I don’t really like the steam version’s new sprites. Some people don’t mind them, so it’s up to you what you prefer, but I think they don’t really convey the feeling as well as their counterparts sometimes… :/
But hey, everyone’s got their own opinions!
I also prefer the EP8 manga to the EP8 VN. If I have control over someone’s first playthrough, I always push over to the manga for EP8! In my opinion, it’s a rare instance where the adaption is better than its original. People have different opinions on this, of course, but since this section is My Opinions Central, that’s my opinioooon!!! :D
SO BASICALLY MY OWN PERSONAL PREFERRED STRUCTURE IS
->TRY EP1 (jump over to manga if struggling; if enjoyed manga ep1 until the end, hop back into the VN at EP2 and come back to EP1 if you want to later)
EP2-EP7 VN
EP8 MANGA(EP8 VN if desired afterwards, once the dust settles)
But you’re free to do what you want, of course. ;9
And then after that there’s some spinoffs that I didn’t talk about because that’s a post for another time. (There’s a fighting game! It’s packed full of spoilers.)
AFTERWORD
All in all, Umineko is…big. its very very big. it has a huge cast (the final count comes out to like, almost 70 characters!) and a huge story. and huge feelings.
The manga and the VN are the main avenues of getting into it. It’s easier than it looks at a glance; and yet, more daunting than it seems…
If you have the time and energy to pour hours of your time into it, Umineko is a super worthwhile story that tackles genuinely difficult material with a delicate but honest hand.
It clowns up sometimes and stumbles over its own demographic–see: Weird Vaguely Unpleasant Anime-brand Sex Comedy that springs up a lot in EP1, some in EP2, and then largely disappears save for a few dumb jokes here and there–but overall is a solidly built and solidly delivered story about trauma, love, loss, and getting your family ritual-murdered by a thousand-year-old witch who may or may not be real.
And if you have any questions at all (or just wanna talk Umineko), you can send an ask or IM me here or at @aceyasu–you can ask for my Discord too if you wanna really get into it. Or DM me on twitter! I’m happy to answer any question or elaborate on anything you’re confused about. I tried to go over this post quickly, so if I was too vague on something, feel free to ask!
The same of course applies to content warnings; if there’s something specific you’re worried about, I can answer it for you, whether it’s “does [specific thing] happen/appear” or “how much of [thing] is there, i can handle a little bit”! Anything! Of course I want people to read my favorite, but I also more than that want u all to be safe.
I’m very sorry that this post is literally three thousand words long. Umineko’s been my special interest for almost ten whole years. I get chatty! But hopefully my passion shines through and gets you excited!!!
LOVE, A BIG NERD
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🏰👑🐲🐲⚔️ DMODT 75 update
Watching Eren sleep, Levi wondered what he should be feeling. Sweating, with his brow drawn in pain, he didn't look like an omega who'd just finished having sex with his mate. With the blanket laying low across Eren's hips the omega's scarred stomach and side were in full view, marring his soft brown skin. Levi's knot keeping Eren's back flush to his chest as the alpha held his omega's hand, trying to provide any form of comfort he could. Eren's body had sent him into an early heat. Neither of them in no any condition to be taking care of those sorts of needs, yet Eren couldn't help what his body decided. It was clumsy, painful and sloppy. Both of them hurting each other without meaning to. Eren was left in chronic pain despite his lies of reassurance, while Levi knew he wasn't satisfying Eren's urges at all, if anything he was making it harder on Eren's body to process and progress through his heat. His younger lover nauseous to the point a hard thrust could lead to Eren throwing up his guts into the bucket beside the bed. It was a complete clusterfuck of fuckery. The fever burning between them left them drained, sex healing the edges his external wounds but not his fear of the fall out from his mate's magic. Something had changed between them. Something had changed within each of them, affecting their relationship, but Levi couldn't find the answer to what it was. Eren's scales across his back were gone, Levi would have been able to dig his nails into Eren's skin as he reveled in pleasure, if he'd had nails to dig in. It wasn't that. It wasn't that Eren's facial scales now seemed once again green. It wasn't that his omega wasn't trying to be a mate by hiding his agonising cramps until nothing but Levi's knot would soothe him. It wasn't in the soft nuzzles and whispered words of love, so why did it feel like something that had been there was now gone. Something that Eren's three days of heat hadn't healed... He didn't understand. Or rather, his brain still felt sluggish, like the rest of him. He needed Eren to wake up and tell him what was going on with him. There was barely a moment to register what was happening before Eren lurched forward in his arms. Attempting to doze while Eren slept, he'd been on the sleep side of dozing when his omega had jolted from his hold, throwing up violently into the bucket. With a sign, Levi fucked right up "Go back to sleep" Eren's tone was unnecessarily cold, Levi confused as he pushed himself up "Eren" "Don't "Eren" me" Well... "Hey. I was going to ask if you were ok" "Sure you were" Why were they fighting? Had he forgotten something? "Eren" "Signing means you're annoyed. You're annoyed at me" Eren was mad because he sighed? There were very few moments that didn't leave him sighing. God. His head hurt too much for this "I was sighing because I'm sick of you feeling so ill" "So you are mad" "Not at you" "You sighed!" Who'd pissed in his porridge?! "Because you're ill. Your heat has passed, I can smell it. It was weak last night, and passed..." "I can't help being ill" He never said he could. Frowning, Levi placed his hand on Eren's naked back. The novelty of seeing his love's skin there wasn't about to fade any time soon. Jumping at the contact, Eren scrambled from the bed, promptly tripping as he did "Eren!" "I'm fine!" His mate wasn't fine. This really couldn't go on "You're not fine. You're still ill. We're both still ill. Maybe it's time we look at asking..." "No" "Eren" "No!" Growling, Levi couldn't understand it. Eren was ill. He looked and smelt ill. Coming out of a heat with him should have cured both of them, yet they were both still... this "We need..." "I can do this!" "Do what?! Because from what I can see, you can fall on your face" "I can't have help!" "Why not?" "I told you! I've told you a hundred times! I can't have anyone in here" "That was days ago. It's not my fault I can't remember. Surely your instincts had to have settled by now?" "Yes. Because I can just click my fingers and turn them off and on" "I never said..." "You think I'm making it up!? You think I wanted my children taken away!?" "I don't know! You're the one who..." Shouting was bad... why were they even shouting. He hadn't meant to lose his temper, he just felt too shitty to filter his words "Who what?! I can't have people in the room!" "They're our friends. We need help" "My instincts..." "Are controlling you. I'm awake. I'm here... you need to stop hiding behind them!" Hissing, Eren then burst into a fit of unneeded tears "Me?! Me... are you serious? I'm not hiding behind them! I don't feel able to have anyone else in the room" "You're sick..." They both were. Viren was probably starving. Eren hadn't kept anything down, meaning he needed an actual doctor or at the very least Freya to look at him. He didn't like the idea of another touching him, but his concern for Eren's health won out over his need to hoard Eren away. Plus, he'd be there with his mate through it all "You want them to see me fucked like a whore, is that it? Or do you want them to see me crying? Are you getting rid of me because I'm too needy? You are, aren't you? You don't want me as your mate anymore" What? Pinching the bridge of his nose, Levi sighed deeply. His throbbing head couldn't take this "We need help" "Because I'm worthless" "Because your magic wound up with us down here! They don't randomly keep people contained underground without a good reason" "My magic...?" "Yes, your magic!" "You don't know what you're saying" "I think I remember..." "Remember? What a fucking joke! For days you've been forgetting everything! Days, Levi!" Growling, Levi clenched his free hand into a fist "You said..." "No, you don't turn this back on me! I can't have anyone close! They took away my kids again, and I can't... I can't even open the door to ask for them back..." Eren could if the shit fucking wanted to... "They are my boys too! Luca woke me when you weren't in control of your body!" "That doesn't even make sense! Calm down! You're making my head worse" "Or what?" Ugly sobbing on the floor, Eren was breaking his heart. He knew his mate was a mess, but Levi was sick of feeling so goddamn sick. He was sick of forgetting things. Of finding gaps in his mind and of feeling like something was missing. He was sick of Eren being sick. Of his omega throwing up for no good reason, or spending hours coughing, trying to hide his pain, and the pain from his heat cramps. This wasn't working "Or, I'll use a command to calm you down enough that we can talk rationally" Eren's eyes narrowed as he snarled. Climbing to his feet like a newborn foal, the omega stumbled to the spare bed where he tore off the top sheet "Eren" "Get fucked. I told you honestly I can't have people in here, and you tell me there's something wrong with me. The only thing wrong with me is that I believed in you" If that slap in the face wasn't hard enough, Eren shunning him to shuffle his way to the door was good as right hook to the same place. Opening the door, Eren looked shattered beyond words. His eyes filled with pain from his perceived betrayal as he wordlessly walked out. * His fight with Levi had drawn the attention of their friends. Eren barely made it to Armin before collapsing against his anxious friend. The scent and feel of Armin was wrong. His skin prickled where it met Armin's own, as his scent filled with every ounce of pain he was feeling. Levi normally understood his instincts, so why couldn't he understand that Eren needed somewhere safe. Somewhere with just the two of them. Where their friends presence and own scents couldn't mess with his nose and throbbing head. His heat had been a disaster. The sex awkward and forced. His body wouldn't surrender to his mate as it'd done so many times in the past, because his instincts wouldn't let him relax. Even lying in Levi's arms had left him feeling like something was missing... but he hadn't wanted to believe that Levi could be anything less than everything he needed. Sick to his stomach, and coughing violently as he continued to cry, Armin copped it at all as he dragged Eren into the room across from Levi's. The space being used by the prince while stuck in this situation. The court was already at the end of their patience, not that Eren knew that. Not that he knew anything by the seems of it. He felt so fucking stupid. Levi didn't want something like him. Who'd want something that came back from the dead with no knowledge of how it'd happened. The initial shock of him being alive had passed, and now Levi was dealing with the regret of that being the case. Without exchanging words, Armin got him cleaned up then into a fresh nightshirt and brought Viren to him. If Levi didn't want him, that was fine... not really... But he was sick of being separated from his children, and they're the ones that needed to come first. He wasn't supposed to have a heat, not so close to giving birth. He'd been betrayed by his body, meaning he'd have to take herbs to flush his system once he could calm down enough to think. Next came feeding Viren, Eren all but a doll as the tiny boy latched to his breast. He simply couldn't do much of anything, Armin forced to step in to make up for his ineptness. Once done, his son was taken from him for a small eternity before being returned to his side, Armin guiding him down to rest leaving Eren loathing the scent of his best friend as cocooned around him and Viren. Without Luca, the bed felt too big. Normally his baby boy would be by his side in an instant, but maybe he'd seen Levi as the better choice. Another rejection. Why did he keep doing everything wrong? He'd tried his hardest to make Levi better. He'd had the same conversation so many times he'd wanted to scream. Yet they fuck, and now Levi was telling him he was useless? If his magic wouldn't work, didn't the alpha already think he hated himself enough over it? He'd fed Levi. He'd wiped up his sick, and his sweat from his fever. He'd held his hand and been there through his nightmares, despite his own wrecked state. He'd tried his very best for his alpha. So why couldn't he do anything right? With the high degree of emotional pain the omega was in, he didn't realise his sobs had broken down to whimpers and whines, calling for his alpha to love him. To take him back. The sound affecting the alphas of their group so strongly that the others had to retire to their rooms because their instincts were being affected. Armin had tears in his eyes as he straightened the blankets around Eren and Viren. Stroking Eren's hair and softly hushing him until he finally cried himself to sleep. The beta wanted to check on Levi, so as to enquire what the hell had happened, but Luca, Freya and Moblit had gone to do that. As quietly as he could, Armin moved a chair to Eren's bedside. He left the door to his room open so Levi wouldn't think he was doing anything untoward. He really didn't wish to face an angry alpha who's mate had just come out of heat. Not when those images of Levi's full transformation from still sent a shiver of terror down his spine. * Eren hovered the knifes edge of a drop, snarling and growling at those who grew close to Viren, or himself, his agitated state yo-yoing before plateauing. He still wasn't able to keep much of anything down, no matter how hard he tried for the sake of his breastmilk, and for Viren's sake. His headaches hadn't left, and his heartache hadn't dulled since his fight with Levi. Waking from his attempted nap, Eren began to panic when Viren wasn't in his hold. His hands scrambling to find his baby boy who should have been right beside him "Whoa... Eren, hey. Calm down" "My baby? Where's my baby?" "Viren's right here. You started thrashing in your sleep" "I need my baby" Baring his teeth, he glared at Armin until Armin passed his son to him. Rubbing his wrist lightly against his pup's neck, he tried to erase the scent from his boy "Eren, Levi wants to talk to you" He didn't want to talk to Levi... Levi had made it clear what he'd thought "Why?" "I don't know. He knocked while you were sleeping. He really doesn't look very well..." There was something in Armin's tone "Armin, what is it?" Invading his space, Armin sat down beside him. Eren quick to move away from him. His scent quick to fill with anger "Right. Your instincts... sorry... but... Eren, I think you should speak with Levi" "Why? I tried my hardest to look after him, and he told me I wasn't good enough" "When... when we thought we'd lost you, he lost it. He completely lost it. I couldn't... Eren, he was terrifying. I can't get it out of my mind. Luca was scared of him too. He hurt himself trying to protect Viren. He scratched himself trying to cover him with his body. Even the blanket Viren was in, was bloodied by his own scratches as he tried to make sure his body was as tightly around him as possible. We were all scared of him... You're the only one who can get through to him. The only one who brings him to his senses. His scent's all over the place and he looked like he was really pained" "I don't think I can do it... I might attack him" Armin snorted "You won't attack him. You're his omega, and even though your fighting you call for him in your sleep. You two are like those soulmates in fairytales, and always work this stuff out. You're both cranky because you feel so ill. Maybe talking about things will make you feel better?" "He won't listen to me, Armin. He doesn't care. He thinks I'm useless because of my magic" "I don't think so" "Is this about what happened, Armin..." "It's taken care of. Look, I really do think that Levi needs to talk to you" Armin didn't trust him enough to tell him all the details of what had happened that night... The only thing he could gather was that Armin was scared of Levi. Armin didn't know it, but the beta was scaring his omega dynamic, Eren's hands were clenched hard enough that his nails were biting into his palms, simply so he could focus on the pain and not the conversation.
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status update:
So, I got a few friendly, good-natured asks on how I was doing, and what’s up with my life (work, Chandler, etc.), so I suppose this is as good a time to tell everyone: I quit my job earlier this week.
Early followers of the blog may be aware that this blog started as an attempt to find some kinda peace during some very trying times in my life. Since then, I’ve been burning the candle at both ends (I guess, in some kinda misguided attempt to move on with life) and... it’s finally caught up with me. I’m fucking exhausted and at a breaking point. Physically. Mentally. Emotionally. ('Spiritually. Ecumenically. Grammatically.' Name that movie!) And so, I'm giving myself a break and am going to be taking some time off to focus on my mental health.
However, this hasn’t been an easy decision to make, as it means bye-bye financial independence and my ~~riproaring Sex And The City life (snort, NOT) and that I will now have to pack up my entire life and leave the country I (and Chandler!) call home. So the next few days will be even rougher; full of transition and second-guessing myself. But in the long run, I think I need to do this now before things get much worse.
Poor Chandler has no idea what’s coming up; that he’s about to be unceremoniously stuffed into a box and flown many thousand miles to a whole new country, with strange new smells and creatures (including my relatives who will want to come around every now and then and friendly-ly harass our socially anxious butts.) I just hope we both survive this move!
As for what it means for the blog, it’ll mostly be business as usual, I suppose. I will have more free time, but it’s going to be invested in moving, and settling in, and recovery (first I have to recover from the moving and settling in, and only then can I focus on *actual* recovery) so... I’ll do as much as I can. Yes, there's lots of new shows, most of them better than IB, and I might wanna watch them too, but.... idk, I don't seem to have it in me right now to get invested in a whole... new.... thing. We'll see once I'm properly settled into a restful routine where I don't feel so battered in the brain. On the plus side, moving to India means proper access to Hotstar and Sony Liv and alllllllll the platforms; I won’t have to jump through hoops and diddle around with VPNs to access what I wanna watch! Yaaaaaaay!
There are a few things blog-wise that I just have to address though, because they’re srsly stressing me out a lot lately:
Messages asking me to explain WHY stakeholders in the industry (actors, makers, the channel) make the decisions they do. Bhai main kahan un sab ke ghar ya boardroom mein ghussi baithi hoon, ki mujhe pakka pata hoga???? All I can do is speculate like the rest of you. Which is what I do. I look at the facts that I do have (social media posts, TRP reports, etc.) and put out MY theory. But it’s all it is. A theory. I do not have any kind of information that you also do not have access to. Asking me to explain the inner workings of complete strangers' minds is just nonsensical. I do not have the complete information based on which I can give you an accurate answer. So please just stop asking me these. At this point, idek why *I* do half the things I do, let alone have any surety of anyone else’s decisions.
Complaints. Look, all of us have complaints about the shitshow that is IB, and the Tellywood industry at large, and its affairs both off-screen and on-screen. But just think of my plight when news breaks/an episode airs and I get like 10 anons in an hour, most of which are filled with cribbing. OVER SOMETHING I DON’T HAVE ANY CONTROL. You have all the right to complain, sure, but not IN MY INBOX. I only publish about 30 - 40% of the asks that I actually do receive, and because of that you may think that you’re the only person sending in this to me; but trust that more often that not, you’re not. I most probably have already received least 5 messages about it, in varying degrees of negative, and it’s exhaaaaaausting for me to wade through it all.
"Asks” that are just STATEMENTS, with no real question to them. I get these and whether I agree with your statement or not, my only reaction is “.... haan, toh???” What really is the point of these? I have nothing to contribute to them. It’s just YOU deciding that your opinion is sooooooo important that you must come tell ME it. In my inbox. On anon. Which is not just stupid, but also RUDE af. What you're doing is the equivalent of going and ringing the doorbell of a stranger's house and monologuing in their face about a random topic when they open the door. Like, I literally did not ask?????? Especially since you’re on anon and I have absolutely no personal equation with you. By having an open inbox, I didn't consent to being the receptacle of every opinion wrt Tellywood under the sun. Like, the whole point of this blog is so I can shout MY dumbass opinions into the void that is the internet without bothering anyone else about things they might not care about/agree with. Anyone who follows/engages with me is here by THEIR choice. Why don’t you do the same? Go make your own blog, instead of using mine. There’s only place for one person here on this blog, and that’s me. Please read your messages before sending them and ask yourselves: Does my tone/content leave anything open for discussion? (FYI: Just putting a question mark at the end of a sentence does not make an engaging question that opens up a discussion.) What contribution am I inviting from the recipient with this message? If the answer is “no”/"nothing", then please don't send it.
The rise of combative and contrary asks; ones that don't come out of a genuine curiosity, but with the intent to mindlessly argue, talk in circles without a point and overall, and just belittle the opinions I’ve expressed by engaging in whataboutery. There's a point at which "healthy discussion" ends, and "debating" starts, and I’m not here to engage in Debate Hour. The open askbox (or replies function) is NOT an invitation to pick at ONE sentence of some post (often missing the context; those other sentences are there for a reason y'know) and demand explanations from me, for which I have to then bend over backwards to clarify to some random faceless person on the internet. Not only does it take tremendous amounts of time and energy (for what is largely a pointless endevour: these people aren't really here to have an exchange of ideas or even try to see my point of view, they're just trying to force THEIR contrary opinion ON me), it really sucks the joy out of the blog for me. Look, I am not an idiot. I can correlate writing patterns and associate them with previously seen comments/opinions and make educated guesses on who these may be coming from. I've been holding off on blocking anyone yet, but these comments and asks have me seriously considering it. (And FYI: blocking an anon blocks you via IP address. So don't think ki 'oh ho ho, I can just hide under the anon function, coz that has no consequences.' All you'd be doing is proving my guesses right, as to who is whom.) I don't WANT TO go to such extents, and want this still to be a place where people can approach me, but this gross disrespect of my time and boundaries is beginning to wear on me now. Before coming at me, please think to yourself if what you're saying is actually necessary. If it's just a passive-aggressive counter-argument to my opinion that's all conjecture/opinion (i. e. things without factual basis and based on feelings) then please; you're very welcome to whatever you believe, but I don't care. If I wanted your opinion, I’d ask for it. If I care for your opinion, I will engage with your posts (by liking or commenting or reblogging or sending you my love in your inbox.) I just really really don’t care what anyone's opinion ON MY OPINION is. Please stop being contrary just the sake of it and ruining my day and mood. Go chronicle your opinions on your blog/twitter/whatever, instead of using MY blog as a platform and arm-twisting me into participating in this unpleasant exchange. I just don't have have the energy or interest to engage in this fuckery anymore.
Look you guys, I love getting stuff in the askbox. I do. If I didn’t, I’d just have closed the askbox and called it a day. I’m just asking that you be a little THOUGHTFUL about the recipient, me, AS AN ACTUAL LIVING PERSON WITH FEELINGS AND A LIMITED AMOUNT OF ENERGY AND TIME, instead of some kinda faceless robot who just processes your messages in binary and spits out an answer. Before engaging, please re-read your message to consider your tone and content and the impact on the person on the other end. Despite this request, if you just decide to engage in the above mentioned ways, I’m sorry in advance if you end up getting blocked; but things have reached a point where I have to look out for myself, and my comfort, and what I want from this space. I would like this blog to be source of joy in my (and others’!) life, not something that I feel resentful about, or as a source of draining what little energy I have left.
Sooooooo, that’s how it is! Things should be the same around here barring some periods of inactivity occasionally due to moving/spotty internet (but the queue should be running anyway.) A lot less negativity and gloom, hopefully! Wish me (and Chandler!!!!!) luck and please send us all your good, restful, soft and fluffy vibes!
(The restful slumber of a poor fluffy bastard who has NOOOOOOOOO idea of what the next few weeks have in store for him.)
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The Raven King, Chapter 16 - I Got Scars, They're Multiplying
In which Neil needs protection, hugs, soft kisses and everything good in the world, and Riko needs to die in a fire pit.
Sounds good? Then it's time for Nicki to read (and finish) The Raven King.
Here we are. Last chapter of The Raven King - and what a wild ride that one was. We saw more plot than ever before, more sass than we could handle, and more gut-wrenching shock than we liked.
Let's finish this off, shall we?
[Neil] rubbed his eyes with gloved hands and regretted it immediately. The gloves hid his bandages but did nothing for the pain.
So apparently, Neil wakes up in the airport - with no memory of how he got there, but instead with a body that feels like it had a nice time fighting with a lawn mower.
Only that the lawn mower had twice the usual amount of blades, was extra mean, and could also, like, spit fire or something.
Also, Neil lost.
For a moment, Neil was baffled that [the airport gate announcement] wasn't in French. He'd spent so much time with Jean he'd forgotten any other language existed.
Neil is also weirdly confused at the absence of Jean. Having spent two - three? - weeks metaphorically chained to each other does that to you, probably.
I still don't like Jean, just so clarify that from last chapter. Maybe he grows on you some more next book and then I'll see the light, but so far, I don't know. I see him as a clear victim of the Ravens total fuckery, I have pity for him, and I find him an interesting character because of his dynamic with Kevin, but he is still kind of a douchebag to me.
I'm sorry. I wanna like him. He just hasn't given me much reason to yet.
Neil, (occasionally) smart boy that he is, charges his phone and calls Wymack to get him - but not before having to wade through tons and tons of texts from the Foxes, which already made me a lil emotional.
Everyone, apart from Andrew of course, everyone texted him over the holidays. This is the kind of quality fox family shit I signed up for.
"I didn't know who else to call," Neil said. He barely recognized his own voice. The last time he'd spoken he'd been screaming; apparently his vocal chords still hadn't recovered.
There's shit like that dropped through this entire scene, shit that hints at just how much actual fucking torture Neil is coming back from right now, and I am decidedly not fucking liking it.
"Are you all right?"
Neil smiled. It felt like it tore his face open. "No. No, I'm not. I know it's kind of sudden, but can you come get me?"
Is that........ the first time......... Neil has admitted to not being fine........ ONE FOR THE BOOKS, FOLKS.
I mean, with so much painful shit done to you, you'd have to be a serious shade of fucked up, angsty and alone not to ask for help.
Which is to say, Book 1 Neil would have totally not asked for help.
Another exhaustion blackout later, Neil finds himself on one of his most frequented post-awful time places: Wymack's couch.
And Wymack, although keeping caring watch like a tattooed momma hen, is not here for Neil's bullshit:
"He sounds like Neil," Wymack said, "but he doesn't look like him. I'll take your explanation from the top and without a side order of bullshit, thanks."
What, did the injuries they gave him at the Batcave of Extra rip him an entirely new face?
The face waiting for him in the mirror was horrible enough to take his legs out from under him. (...) This was his natural hair colour, and those were his real eyes, and this was his father's face.
APPARENTLY, YES.
An entirely new face that looks exactly like his father. Oh shit. OH SHIT BOI.
At this point it should be pointed out how amazingly well-written this chapter is. Neil's pain-induced confusion and blackout, his anxiety, and most importantly his screaming, hurting body is tangible through the pages and that just gripped me.
I mean, it also gripped me because Neil is my beautiful sassy angsty adoptive son I need to protect at absolutely all costs, now more than ever.
But also because the writing is just damn on point.
Hey - remember how last time there was this tiny annoying voice that kept reminding me of something I'd seen time and time again in fanart and cosplay?
Wymack went so still Neil thought he'd turned to stone. "Neil, the fuck is on your face?"
Oh no.
Neil wasn't ready to see his reflection again. He was less ready to see the "4" tattooed on his left cheekbone.
OH NO.
I SAW THAT COMING AND STILL OH SHIT NO.
HELL NO.
By the time Wymack caught up with him he'd already pulled a knife from the wooden block on Wymack's counter. Wymack seized his wrist before Neil could take the knife to his own face.
Wow.
Wow, shit.
No kidding - to me, this little bit here is probably the most shocking and wtf-moment in this entire chapter.
Like. Not only does Neil want to get rid of that tattoo - which us understandable, we all would in his situation -, but he is instantly rady to take a giant ass kitchen knife and cut it out of his own skin without a second of hesitation?
What the fuck. What the FUCK.
This speaks volumes, volumes of what they did to him at Batcave of Extra, and I do not like one single thing about it.
Every time Neil blinked he remembered a little more of his Christmas vacation. Every time he moved he felt Riko's hands and blades and fire on his skin. he'd let Riko take him apart time and time again because it was the only way to survive, because bending should have kept him from breaking, but Neil didn't know if he could pull himself together one more time.
MY SON, MY BEAUTIFUL SHORT-TEMPERED ANGSTY SASS MACHINE SON, FUCK NO.
I MUST PROTECT YOU.
And then, immediately after - are y'all ready for the most heartbreaking paragraph in this chapter, because I am ABSOLUTELY THE FUCK NOT:
Neil, Wymack called him, even when he looked like this, even with his father's face and his father's eyes and the Moriyama's number on his face. Neil, Wymack called him, and more than anything Neil wanted it to be true. He stopped fighting to get free; the hands that had been trying to wrench Wymack's arms off him now held on for dear life.
HE'S HUGGING HIM.
NEIL IS HUGGING WYMACK, KNOWING WYMACK WILL LOVE AND ACEEPT HIM NO MATTER WHAT, NO MATTER WHAT UGLY PART OF NEIL HE GETS TO SEE, AND NEIL IS HUGGING HIM, CLINGING, PROBABLY CRYING.
GUESS WHO'S NOT JUST PROBABLY CRYING.
IT'S ME.
"Help me," he said through gritted teeth.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Neil!! Is!! Not only accepting help!! But ASKING FOR IT!!!
[high-pitched incoherent emotional screaming in the distance]
Wymack, of course, is the Best Person Alive and patches Neil up without asking questions - which is an incredibly feat considering that Neil's body right now has reached new Deapool-looking heights.
On the contrary, it is now Neil who offers answers - after the finals, after the Ravens are beaten and have had their abusive sadistic asses handed to them, Neil will tell Wymack the truth. As in, the actual truth.
HELL FECKIN YES.
Wymack deserves to know All The Things.
"I didn't sign it," Neil said, looking up from his hands. (...) "He gave me a contract but I wouldn't sign it. He couldn't make me. This doesn't mean anything. I'm still a Fox."
Oh my god. This small "He couldn't make me" in there, brb literally burying myself in a pile of my own emotions.
They tortured him. They legit medieval-style full-on tortured him, and he still refused to be one of them. Even in pain so cruel it caused blackout memory, Neil still refused to give up his Fox family.
"He couldn't make me."
Neil, I have seldom loved you more than in this very, very moment.
And oh - it's almost New Year's.
He tapped out a simple "Happy New Year" to the Foxes. (...) The response was almost immediate. By the time the midnight countdown started on the screen (...), he'd already heard back from his entire team, most of them in capslock and with extraneous exclamation marks.
FOX BABIES
FOX FAMILY
He was their family. They were his. They were worth every cut and bruise and scream.
WOULD SOMEONE THINK OF MY FOX TEARS
Facing the Foxes on the court this spring would be the last mistake Riko ever made.
And if it isn't, I will personally worm myself into this fictional universe and smack him so hard his shitty sadistic motherfucker of a brain comes flying out his ass where it had been hidden, and he will die slowly and painfully of tragic brainlessness while I bound off to find Neil and give him the 24h cuddle session he needs and deserves.
Fucking hell.
Nicki out.
Hold on - before I leave, a quick note on how updates will continue:
Some time next week (don't know when exactly) I'll put up another review of the entire book, like I did for The Foxhole court. We're also looking at what predictions I made last time and whether they turned out to be golden bullshit or not, so stay tuned for that.
After that, in August this blog will take a hiatus as I'm travelling around a lot taking well-deserved holidays. (Canadian peeps: I'm invading your country! If anyone here lives in the Regina, Edmonton or Toronto area, hit me up.)
In September, we're back to our normal update schedule of twice a week (as long as life allows me to, as always), this time probably having All The Feels over The King's Men.
I can't wait.
And, on a last note: As always, if you like what I do here and you want to help me continue making this project, please consider buying me a coffee. Every little bit does help. Thank you so much! <33
#nicki reads tfc#trk#tfc#aftg#the raven king#the foxhole court#all for the game#nora sakavic#WE'RE DONE YOU GUYS#ONLY ONE BOOK LEFT#time goes by so fast wtf wtf wtf#as always I am THRILLED about asks messages and tags on reblogs#ily all#also I'm sorry about the headline#((im rlly not tho))#((I saw the opportunity and I took it))
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warning, the following has mainly snarky (and possibly furious) opinions on Spirit of Justice. Reader discretion is advised.
alright... here we go. we’re starting the big one. this... thing is almost over.
we’re going back to........ kooraheen to finish this.
time to strap in for the long haul.
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did Dhurke hijack the PP show or was he just watching it and he decided to make that speech at his TV
i honestly can’t tell because of the weird way the scene was set. it looks like a reflection from a TV screen, but it also fades like a broadcast being intercepted...
fuck I'm just distracted by Dhurke’s stupid voice. and uncomfortable at the actress playing Rayfa. imagine being the princess and having your favourite show turn you into a weird damsel in distress being manhandled by ninjas. gross.
also yay! they’ve got the indiana jones orb!! time to melt off some faces...
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ok it was a hijacked show... ...why is there a news report on this in America? Are American troupes assisting in the Kooraheenese war?
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“Daaaa-aaaad. What’re you up to thiiiiis time???”
i love how not-giving-a-shit-about-it apollo is here. and by love it i mean hate it.
oh, your long-lost adoptive father just happens to pop up on television starting a revolution, and this is the first time you’ve heard from him in like 20 years? huh, no big deal.
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AND ACE ATTORNEY TURNS INTO THE JERRY SPRINGER SHOW
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oh noooo... he’s one of THESE guys... ururughhhhghghgh
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“Wait... don’t tell me you haven’t told anyone about me, son?”
“I’m sorry, dad, it’s just you didn’t exist up until now...”
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“you just show up here without warning after all this time... what gives?”
apollo’s got a point there, pa. also Dhurke’s theme reminds me of Coach Oleander’s from Psychonauts
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Apollo just instinctively knows that nobody wants to be around him unless they’re getting labour out of him. That’s... honestly really depressing. I mean I know it’s supposed to be a joke but I just can’t bring myself to laugh.
its just... apollo is legitimately so bitter and sad that i just feel awful for him.
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yeesh... this whole thing just started off super sour.
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wait, the piano has sentimental value to phoenix? they mentioned he never practiced on it and he didn’t like being a piano player... does that mean this piano is something phoenix just happened to own, and has its own backstory? I WANNA KNOW
(snerk)
ok thats mean but it did make me laugh
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the JACKET IS APOLLO’S
IT IS APOLLO’S
HOLY SHIT
the rest of this case can be total shit but at least we figured out the mystery of the discarded red jacket.
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“our houseplant was called apollo”
“was it a cactus?”
“How’d you guess?”
“cause apollo doesn’t get enough hugs, either!”
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apollos dad is so cool he reads his son’s personal shit out loud. what a great guy!
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“That’s too bad! You seem like you’d be a fun, cool guy to hang out with!”
when he wasn’t being a rebel and not having time for his kids, obviously.
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THERE IT IS!
siblings dont know theyre siblings joke is funny both normally and ironically because the writers need to FUCKIN GET ON THAT
also i love that he’s basically like “hey son, this girl doesn't resent me! you should marry her so that i can continue to get favours out of you!”
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“What did Mr. Dhurke mean when he said he was the man who raised you, apollo?”
i dunno, trucy... think with your mind brains...
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“How come you never told me?!”
“Sorry, it’s just, capcom hadn’t butchered my backstory at that point yet.”
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I honestly find it really weird that Trucy’s all chirpy about this. She of all people should know the sting of a dad just up and disappearing on you.
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Dhurke: I have to steal this orb. I’m asking you two because youre lawyers.
Kay Faraday, sitting in the Capcom warehouse: (sneezes)
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Dhurke: I made a stupid gamble. Hope you can bail me out, son I haven’t seen in 20 years!
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nooo.... don’t bring Kurain Village into this, pleeeeaaase... I don’t want to have my favourite village ruined for meeeeee....
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:3c i chose nope
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i wonder what Trucy would do if Zak waltzed in and immediately asked her for a favour. tbf phoenix would probably launch him into the sun before he could set foot into the office but...
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Ok... So Dhurke doesn’t actually want to fix the legal system; he just said that he wants to gain immense spiritual power which will somehow give him the legal authority to RULE Kooraheen.
how does spiritual power have any effect on land deeds anyway?
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“Only the rulers of Kooraheen have ever laid eyes on the orb, Apollo”
and Ahlbi’s seen the box.
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“I figured you were poor as fuck so I brought you a plate of sushi!”
ok either A) He thought so little of Apollo that he assumed he’d just be starving on the street
or B) He’s been keeping tabs on Apollo and knows that the WAA doesn’t make a lot of cash, yet he hasn’t made any attempt to contact Apollo himself. Until he needs a favour.
what a.... great guy.
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what the FUCK
“here, as my second present... a PICTURE OF YOUR REAL DAD, THE ONE WHO CARED ABOUT YOU AND IS DEAD. HOORAY!”
i can tell theyre trying to do the ‘Hagrid gives Harry a photo album of his family for comfort” but its REALLY NOT THE SAME CIRCUMSTANCES.
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His name was... JJ.
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~as you know~
also why would a musician perform with magicians?
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y’know, ive seen pictures of Jove Justice so far. and A) he looks like a tool, and B) the designers were lazy as fuck and just slapped Apollo’s hair onto Phoenix’s face. I had a pretty negative opinion of him initially. I was thinking I wouldn’t like any of Apollo’s new dads.
But you know what? If they go deeper into Jove’s backstory and prove that he was a caring father, I’m ready to completely drop any criticisms of him and carry this guy on my shoulders
cause compared to Dhurke ill bet he's a freakin angel
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...welp... back to Kurain village. At least it’ll remind me of bygone days...
...heh, aw. it’s cute. i like the sparrows on the roof.
ooh! an updated theme, too! not quite as nice as the original but it is nice.
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he was full of piss and vinegar
jesus
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yeah, kids run around naked. its not super surprising.
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“man, I miss that hut...”
apollo youre gonna make me cry;;
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Ema: :) i’ll show you the way to Dr. Buff. SURPRISE, HES DEAD! AHAHAHAHHAHA
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NOOO
MY SYSTEM FUCKED UP AND STARTED ME OVER FROM THE BEGINNING OF THE CHAPTER AAARGRRJHRFJ
id gone on a short break and i come back to this (weep)
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...
does Dhurke have boobs..?
...or just extremely prominent pecs...
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phew ok back on track.
wait hold on. if Dr. Buff is in Kurain village, where is he staying exactly? All the houses in Kurain village are old-style Japanese; this appears to be a modern day number.
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“please tell me youre joking”
“as if i’d come out here for a few laughs, Apollo”
yeah but youre not above leading him to the dr’s study and THEN telling him he’s dead WTF
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ahah. further proof that stepladders are superior.
i mean i know he didnt actually fall off that ladder by accident or whatever but still
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“you could say he died an honourable death...”
...crushed under his nerd books like a fuckin cartoon :T
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YEAH
POPS
POHLFUCKYA
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“I’m so sorry... It seems you’ve had quite a life.”
Why else would she say that except that some poor dialogue translator is secretly begging the series to stop fucking up his backstory
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“I mean, middle-aged man with long hair and an eye-patch? You don’t see that everyday.”
just give Valant an eyepatch
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hang on. why does an archeologist in America have Kooraheen’s founding orb anyway? I thought it burnt peoples’ faces off. And was super precious. Queen Garananana doesn't seem like someone who’d just hand out a precious ball like that.
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oh huh they found an ugly dalek. thats two dalek references in this game now...
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did i just... have a ladder conversation about a relic that looks like an airplane.
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why does everyone keep making blithe jokes about the doctors horrible death..? does that usually happen or am i misremembering
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WHAT THE STATUE OF AMI AND THE URN AND THE GRAVY SCROLL ARE THERE NOOOOOO YOU GET YOUR SLIMY HANDS OFF THEM SOJ, PUT THEM BACK IN T&T WHERE THEY BELONG
god there’s even a coffee shelf. i guess this side of the room is the “Relics of a better game” section.
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polly the clean freak. what a sweetheart :)
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aw yeah baby
its printing time
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oh yeah i forgot this version of printing SUCKS
but i do like the little pap sound it makes when you put down powder
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...they have Datz and Dhurkes prints on file.
You guys sure rock at being undercover.
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ill give them credit for having the Dance of Devotion not rhyme in English.
seeing lyrics again just gives me flashbacks to Serenade tho
Guitar, Guitar... Up together to the sky...
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MAY-OR DE-WEY
MAY-OR DE-We
wait that has the same number of syllables if you just say the pun
PAUL-A TI-SHON
PAUL-A TI-SHON
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...why the fuck is he in a palanquin
anybody in a palanquin is bad news ALSO WHY DOES IT SAY RECLAIM THE GLORY OF KURAIN
KURAIN DOES NOT HAVE POLTIICIANS. ESPECIALLY NOT MALE ONES.
SOJ. SOJ WHAT IS THIS FUCKERY.
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oh yeah he’s a bad guy
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...king of this fine nation. First of all... America doesn’t have kings. Second of all, Kurain isn’t a country, it’s a small village. Either he’s a moron or SOJ is fucking up at unprecedented speeds
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...did his theme song just ‘wheeee’
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“Jerk Q. Public”
pffft
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i wish you were golden boy. then you'd be morally questionable but entertaining.
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I'm very uncomfortable
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k so we’re back in Kurain and so far we’ve seen Zero women in total apart from Ema.
even the unnamed heckler was an old man.
is this the same Kurain Village I know?
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wh- talk??
what do you mean talk???
i dont wanna talk to this guy he's a dickcheese!!!
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Trucy’s 17 and she hasn’t studied politics at least a little yet? ...weird
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“Its real name is the Crystal of Ami Fey”
wait what
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“It’s been passed down for generations in the Atishon family”
WAIT WHAT
is he dicking around or is he distantly related to maya
or is he just totally dicking around
if so how dare he use Ami’s name in vain.
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where is Datz from anyway
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paul i dont mean to dash your hopes but becoming grand high emperor of kurain village will in fact not make you king of the world
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datz sure is a good rebel... getting caught... and put in jail...........
damnit, Vore Machine, what am i gonna do with you?
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well Apollo, from demon to deer. thats not bad.
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dog-faced cop..??
if youre very sneakily referencing our old pal Gumshoe youve got another thing coming, Vore Machine. In the form of my fist.
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“A shut-in? Sounds like it will be a challenge just to get a conversation going.”
yeah.... not like youve.... ever dealt with someone like that....... before....... hehe.... heh..............
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how long has Datz been in jail if he already knows the cafeteria itinerary
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um guys; maybe you should be a tiny bit more concerned about Athena??
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i just realized the Shichishito is gold. It’s green, you idiots. Or is that one too bent and bloody for display??
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thats it folks thats spirit of justice
apollo has become a living title drop
hes fuckin dead
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what kind of bullets were those
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yeah apollo, a fledgeling is equivalent to a private.
...also youre not a fledgeling youre near full experience capacity. this is your third... (and last...) year.
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so Dhurke is in full stealth mode until it comes to a remotely operated drone that could have literally anybody on the other side? brilliant, pal.
this is why your revolution’s taken like 23 years to get off the ground, jsyk.
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...k komandir?
i thought you were supposed to be a parody of The Soldier. what are you doing calling people by Russian military names? did the red scare not happen in this reality?
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pfft
it’s so cute.
im struggling between finding it adorable and being uncomfortable
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“in other words, something caused him to withdraw from the world...”
maybe his mom’s death??? maybe?????
does anyone in this game understand how a bad thing make a peoples’ brain go???
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pretty impressive that a woman’s body could provide sufficient cushioning to soften such a drop.
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lol. death attributed to random maniac. thanks soj.
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“Private Justice! You’ve suffered a loss just like mine!”
“I have... and thats how I know how you feel.”
yes, i can remember exactly happened when i was a one-year old in diapers. exactly the same kind of pain and trauma.
look i know theyre trying to have a moment but there’s a huge difference between growing up orphaned and being recently bereaved. Sure, Apollo’s seen his fair share of hardship and his experiences aren’t to be devalued, but it’s not the same kind of pain as having your parents die later in your life, especially with the mom’s horrific demise.
Honestly, it’d make more sense if he brought up Clay, since Clay was with him since he was very small and his death was sudden and deeply unfair.
BUT CLAY’S IN THE PAST, CLAY DOESN’T EXIST, WHO’S CLAY?? I DONT KNOW BACK TO SPIRIT OF JUSTICE
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YEAH
POHLFUCKYA DURKE
dhurke the burk amiright attorneys
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“the opaque crystal orb is the key”
>needless adjective
>will come into play later in court
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um so nobody’s gonna mention the blonde lady on his desktop background or........
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i like sarge. i hope they dont turn sour when theyre revealed.
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nice boot
ooh phosphorescence! neato!
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pearl: hello I'm here to do something ive never done before to provide clues for this case. i hope i’ve been useful! thank you, and goodnight.
...as contrived as this is, i am glad to see someone who actually comes from kurain village.
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wow, the gangs all here huh
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so they renamed Eagle Mountain “”””mt. mitama”””” eh
nice...............
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“you are at that age, after all...”
says apollo who's like 24
also why is she talking about all the women leaving the village? i thought it was the men. is this why i haven't seen any ladies? they all just shipped off downtown?? and of course there’s no mention of the creepy oppressive atmosphere and strictness of the village...
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nice alliteration apollo
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rain spirit at a bus stop and you hacks didnt make a Totoro joke?? lame
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“Dj’you bring a light?”
“Ņ̮͔̜̬͖̝ͫͦ̄̒̀̾̆̓̀ͤͨ͋̓̈̑̂͗́ͤo̸̵͈͎̤͇̤̙̯͔̙͖̞̳̙̠̹̞̲̭ͣ́ͫ͌ͦ̒́͞ͅ?ͯͩͨ̾̅̈ͮ̉̀̌͛̆͑̚҉̧͓̠͎̠͎̀̀”
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how can you not recognize a foreign voice you idiot
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“He tried to fucking kill us but he also gave us this flashlight. To um... see our slow death by starvation better I guess?”
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“We couldn’t get back to where we started if we wanted to”
if you wanted to??? thats exactly what you want!!!
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Klavier: Hello! This is flashback Klavier here to say: Don’t you miss me? Haha. I miss existing too. Oh well! See you next time~ ...i if there is one.
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DEAD
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aw, lucky you! you lucked into falling to your death directly to where you wanted to go!
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“Yes! Time to find that orb! When we have it, we can....rot here for eternity.”
...ok i know the doc found a way out but still
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wHAT THE FUCK
THAT HOLE IS LIKE 40 FEET UP
...oh well, if phoenix can survive it, so can they..?
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i love that there are various sea-related items scattered around that give an obvious way out but only yield “durr??? a sea thing??? how this get here??????????” when inspected
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whats with dhurkes’ magic eyes
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mmmmmmmm a slide puzzle great
“maybe the ppictures correspond to the song”
NO
REALLY??
what is with this game and not outright stating the obvious? its not like it spoils the player or anything; it just makes the WAA look like idiots
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fuck this I'm gonna finish this stupid puzzle without this game’s help or die trying
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...ah. my personal need for pattern and order blinded me to the truth
oh well; it’s open now. i’m gonna smash Eshiro’s stupid smirking face with it.
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“opening that box means you're the best lawyer ever! enjoy leaving the series forever!!!”
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“A royal stole that orb”
stole it... as opposed to just taking it and doing whatever they want with it because it’s theirs and there’s absolutely no reason to have to “steal” it.
unless they wanted to frame the rebels i guess but like. theyre rebels. theyre already pretty hated
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“it would be seen as utter sacrilege to let a foreign man study this artifact”
oh also it would debunk that whole “explodes your face if you look at it” thing
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...here we go...
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“he used to be a nice kid, but now...”
he’s an enourmous shitstain?
“he tried to convict trucy for a crime she didnt even commit...”
ok, apollo. there are a zillion valid reasons to hate sadmad, and yes, his reasoning in that trial was shit. but just being a prosecutor and doing what a prosecutor is meant to do doesn’t make him evil. he isn’t about to just roll over because the defendant’s your sis–– er, best friend.
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he... could be playing the long game, and interfering could fuck up his plan, Dhurke. Also how was he a rebel and then somehow managed to get into good graces with the royals? It’s already been proven that Dhurke’s Dummy Dragon Gang suck at being stealthy or having any sense of self-preservation. I doubt they just wouldn’t recognize Sadmad
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“it’s not conviction that fills his heart; it’s resignation and despair”
are you telling me Sadmad is the equivalent of a guy in a dead end office job taking it out on his coworkers
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“The only thing I know for sure is... Nahyuta is suffering, and he is suffering in silence”
edgeworth: been there, done that!
blackquill: BEEN THERE, DONE THAT
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ya sure put a lot of stock in Sadmad, Dhurke. i mean i guess he’s your son but seriously; if you're a proper rebel you’d cut your losses and get on with shit already with or without him
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...y’know, this speech about lawyers being like dragons kind of doesn’t have the same emotion impact and gravitas that the non-dragon one in T&T did.
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oh how... charming...
*America’s* badge is shaped like a sunflower... and Kooraheen’s is shaped like a buggy eye.
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YARGH
dont DO that
your voice is BAD
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“he’s my son! therefor he has to believe in the same thing as me! nothing, not even torture could have changed him!”
cue Gredgeworth’s awkward cough from the afterlife.
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“You know, I remember when Nahyuta and I were kids, he used to say with great pride ‘I have the blood of a dragon in me!’”
cue tiny apollo feeling left out and alone because he doesn’t know what kind of blood is in him
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>reform court system
>rescue son
well... i guess there could be worse reasons to start a revolution.
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“I mean, what are fathers for?!”
( ‘I... I wouldn’t know...’)
WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT, GAME
ARE YOU TRYING TO BREAK MY HEART
YOU CAN’T GIVE APOLLO ALL THESE EMOTIONS WHEN YOU’RE ALSO SHAFTING HIS ASS AT THE SAME TIME
SHAME ON YOU
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HE HAS A BROKEN ARM
HOWS HE GONNA SWIM
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oh its high tide yay
oh it’s... really high tide
wow.
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well this is fun. i daresay id really like this sequence... if it wasn’t in this game.
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“oh no... the water might carry me up to the way out of here... how awful.”
lol can you imagine if this was timed tho
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oh hey it’s the DD panic panic song. i liked that one. it deserves its spot in the suspense music roster.
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y’know at this point i kinda hope he really just dies
wouldn’t that be a kicker
not that i hate apollo or anything but I'm just............... so tired
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apollo’s pretty calm for a drowning person
i’ve nearly suffocated before and the only thing going through my head was AIR AIR AIR GET AIR GET AIR GET AIR AIR AIR
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baby apollo: waahhhh!!! we’re both perfectly dry!!! the artist didn’t bother to make us look wet in the flashback!
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A) Little Apollo doesn’t even call Dhurke “Daddy” or “Papa” despite being raised by him since infant hood, possibly meaning Dhurke gave him the ‘You’re adopted” speech pretty early. Or else kids that “aren’t really my son” have to go by name basis. See? Nahyuta calls him father.
B) Haha! Boys don’t cry, not-son! Suck those sissy tears back up into your skull, or you’ll look gay! It doesn’t matter that you’re like five and you almost drowned to death! Don’t embarrass me!
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“Don’t ever hesitate to call when you need me”
oh but apollo your ass gets shipped back to america tomorrow ok
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no seriously. on one hand; why did apollo get sent away? why couldn’t he be a rebel alongside nahyuta and fight for his family? on the other hand, why didn’t dhurke send nahyuta with him? if apollo’s going away because it’s dangerous, why is nahyuta staying with dhurke in the path of danger?
to be honest I'm ashamed that I'm crying, but it’s less about this scene being sad as fuck and more about the fact that I know that none of this is ever really resolved. Dhurke is still a piece of shit who made no attempt to contact apollo for years until he needed a favour out of him. and Apollo has to live with this stupid backstory because ESHIRO thought it would be dramatic and cool. Apollo’s going to “go home”, leave the series... He doesn’t even know he’s leaving his last scrap of real family who gives a shit about him behind in America.
Apollo doesn’t deserve this.
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Dhurke, with superman theme playing in the background: Redeeming my character! By saving your life! Redeeming my character! By saving your life! Though only a heartless, shithead person, would leave you behind to die! So this isn’t great.
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...is he holding him in his broken arm
wait is that arm even broken
has he just been holding it like it’s in a sling for no reason this whole time
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“Still can’t swim, eh?”
oh fuck off
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“Good thing your name’s not Neptune, hahahaha!”
A) OH FUCK OFF
B) NEPTUNE IS A SEA GOD, HE’D ACTUALLY BE RESISTANT TO WATER
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WHOA FUCK HOLY SHIT
vore machine came out of nowhere and oh
also he is also laughing at a guy who almost drowned
well aren’t these two just the greatest men on earth huh
Trucy: :) lets make this drowning thing seem like no big deal by playing it off and not even asking if you're okay at all :))))
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great... now he owes his life to him.... that completely cancels out every other piece of baggage.....
remember........ when edgeworth owed his life to phoenix......... remember how he was 100% okay after that and not fucked up at all................ remember how he just popped back into the series without any changes whatsoever apart from being phoenix’s friend again........................................
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“GLAD TO SEE YOURE NOT CRYING SON; IM GLAD YOU GREW UP INTO THE EMOTIONALLY STUNTED MAN I ALWAYS WANTED, EVEN WITHOUT MY STELLAR PARENTAL GUIDANCE! THAT LONELY ORPHANAGE MUST HAVE TOUGHENED YOU UP GOOD! HAH-HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!”
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y’know in the interim i was thinking
Rebel Apollo would be great. he’d probably be an enormous goofus but at least he’d be happy and maybe Dhurke’s shitty plan would get off the ground because an actual smart person would be part of the team.
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listen to that fuckin “we solved the case” music.
(sigh)
at least apollo is eating.
Turnabout Revolution... End
heh i wish
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“Sure wish Nahyuta was here”
I don’t.
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you fucking morons. you colossal fucking asshats. i knew this was coming
Dhurke: DURR LETS TALK ABOUT THIS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT ITEM IN A PLACE WHERE WE KNOW THE GUY WHO WANTS THIS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT ITEM IS! WHATS A STEALTH????
This is why the revolution has taken 20 FCKIN YEARS to take off. Because Dhurke and his band of nincompoops are all incompetent fuckwits.
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huh i can see where Nahyuta gets his magic clap from.
also say it you loser say bitch
say bitch
say bitch
say bitch
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A) If the “crystal” is a fake thing, his police report probably wouldn’t check out cause I'm P sure that people can’t just file police reports for anything without proof of previously owning it.
B) Dhurke. You’re a rebel. Shoot someone. Throw a smoke bomb. Gently jog away? Idk if that works in America but it sure as hell works in Kooraheen.
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no. don’t do it. don’t you fucking do––
oh, i just saw a ghost.
The ghost of the potential any sequels past AJ had. It blinked at me sorrowfully before CAPCOM busted it and crammed it into the Containment Unit.
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(sigh) Ok (most likely) fake shit aside, that would make Atishon related to Maya, and the “heirloom” would more probably be Maya’s. Why is this excuse present at all anyway it’s stupid.
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Apollo it shouldn’t fuckin matter; it’s a court case. Just prove the orb isn’t the Crystal of Ami Fey and you win the case. You know that Phoenix doesn’t cheat and you’re pretty certain that the crystal really is the Founder’s Orb, so you shouldn’t be upset about anything. This isn’t a murder trial, it’s a dispute over ownership of an item. You know you’re in the right, so you ought to be able to win the trial. There’s literally no stakes apart from the fact that you’re facing your boss... but so what? That can happen... I assume, I’m not versed in that sort of thing. But either way, lawyers sometimes have to face off against each other... it happens. You had to face Nahyuta. Now you face Phoenix. Unless you think Phoenix will cheat, or that you don’t have sufficient info on the orb, then there’s legitimately no fucking problem. I mean yeah, sucks to go to court, but who gives a fuck? Win the trial and skip back to Kooraheen to overthrow the oppressive regime.
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I don’t
what is the fucking problem
one of you gets payed, you both work at the same place
it doesn’t matter
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APOLLO. You KNOW his methods. You know that he wins because his clients are innocent, and would graciously hand over victory if it was clear you were in the right; YOU HAVE TO KNOW THIS. YOU’RE HIS BIGGEST FAN, REMEMBER??
Unless you think he’d fucking cheat for a skeezy politician for money in which case, nice. Gotta love that trust and belief that DD was building up there.
“Can I do it? Can I fight him?”
YES ITS NOT EVEN A MURDER TRIAL
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“May the best attorney win”
well so much for finding the truth or whatever. Also Phoenix should be proud that Apollo is willing to go up against him; it shows he’s coming into his own. There’s literally no reason for them to be on shit terms right now.
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“A fine mess I’ve gotten you into, son.”
Hey shithead that wasn’t an apology. Also yeah, go on and on about how good a lawyer Phoenix is just to scare Apollo. Brilliant.
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“The first step of your revolution, huh?”
The first step. 20 years and he’s only just taking the first step. Not the first step to the end of the revolution; the first step to the revolution itself.
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Welp, we’re off to fight over the possession of an oversized marble in court. Seeya next time i guess...
#ooc#sulking over SOJ#soj spoilers#soj spoilers obvs]#things we've learned today: Dhurke Sadmahdi is a lazy insensitive incompetent pieceof shit
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Dear Simon Sinek: STFU About Millennials RSS FEED OF POST WRITTEN BY FOZMEADOWS
The last few weeks or so, I’ve seen the same video endlessly going around on Facebook: a snippet of an interview with Simon Sinek, who lays out what he believes to be the key problems with millennials in the workplace. Every time I see it shared, my blood pressure rises slightly, until today – joy of joys! – I finally saw and shared a piece rebutting it. As often happens on Facebook, a friend asked me why I disagreed with Sinek’s piece, as he’d enjoyed his TED talks. This is my response.
In his talk, Sinek touches on what he believes to be the four core issues handicapping millennials: internet addiction, bad parenting, an unfulfilled desire for meaningful work and a desire to have everything instantly. Now: demonstrably, some people are products of bad parenting, and the pernicious, lingering consequences of helicopter parenting, wherein overzealous, overprotective adults so rob their children of autonomy and instil in them such a fear of failure that they can’t healthily function as adults, is a very real phenomenon. Specifically in reference to Sinek’s claims about millennials all getting participation awards in school (which, ugh: not all of us fucking did, I don’t know a single person for whom that’s true, shut up with this goddamn trope), the psychological impact of praising children equally regardless of their actual achievements, such that they come to view all praise as meaningless and lose self-confidence as a result, is a well-documented phenomenon. But the idea that you can successfully accuse an entire global generation of suffering from the same hang-ups as a result of the same bad parenting stratagems, such that all millennials can be reasonably assumed to have this problem? That, right there, is some Grade-A bullshit.
Bad parenting isn’t a new thing. Plenty of baby boomers and members of older generations have been impacted by the various terrible fads and era-accepted practises their own parents fell prey to (like trying to electrocute the gay out of teenagers, for fucking instance), but while that might be a salient point to make in individual cases or in the specific context of tracking said parenting fads, it doesn’t actually set millennials apart in any meaningful way. Helicopter parenting might be comparatively new, but other forms of damage are not, and to act as though we’re the only generation to have ever dealt with the handicap of bad parenting, whether collectively or individually, is fucking absurd. But more to the point, the very specific phenomenon of helicopter parenting? Is, overwhelmingly, a product of white, well-off, middle- and-upper-class America, developed specifically in response to educational environments where standardised testing rules all futures and there isn’t really a viable social safety net if you fuck up, which leads to increased anxiety for children and parents both. While it undeniably appears in other countries and local contexts, and while it’s still a thing that happens to kids now, trying to erase its origins does no favours to anyone.
Similarly, the idea that millennials have all been ruined by the internet and don’t know how to have patience because we grew up with smartphones and social media is – you guessed it – bullshit. This is really a two-pronged point, tying into two of Sinek’s arguments: that we’re internet addicts who don’t know how to socialise properly, and that we’re obsessed with instant gratification, and as such, I’m going to address them together.
Yes, internet addiction is a problem for some, but it’s crucial to note it can and does affect people of all ages rather than being a millennial-only issue, just as it’s equally salient to point out that millennials aren’t the only ones using smartphones. I shouldn’t have to make such an obvious qualification, but apparently, I fucking do. That being said, the real problem here is that Sinek has seemingly no awareness of what social media actually is. I mean, the key word is right there in the title: social media, and yet he’s acting like it involves no human interaction whatsoever – as though we’re just playing with digital robots or complete strangers all the time instead of texting our parents about dinner or FaceTiming with friends or building professional networks on Twitter or interacting with our readerships on AO3 (for instance).
The idea, too, that millennials have their own social conventions different to his own, many of which reference a rich culture of online narratives, memes, debates and communities, does not seem to have occurred to him, because we’re not learning to do it face to face. Except that, uh, we fucking are, on account of how we still inhabit physical bodies and go to physical places every fucking day of our goddamn lives, do I really have to explain that this is a thing? Do I really have to explain the appeal of maintaining friendships where you’re emotionally close but the person lives hundreds or thousands of kilometres away? Do I really have to spell out the fact that proximal connections aren’t always meaningful ones, and that it actually makes a great deal of human sense to want to socialise with people we care about and who share our interests where possible rather than relying solely on the random admixture of people who share our schools and workplaces for fun?
The fact that Sinek talks blithely about how all millennials grew up with the internet and social media, as though those of us now in our fucking thirties don’t remember a time before home PCs were common (I first learned to type on an actual typewriter), is just ridiculous: Facebook started in 2004, YouTube in 2005, Twitter in 2006, tumblr in 2007 and Instagram in 2010. Meaning, most millennials – who, recall, were born between 1980 and 1995, which makes the youngest of us 21/22 and the eldest nearly forty – didn’t grow up with what is now considered social media throughout our teenage years, as Sinek asserts, because it didn’t really get started until we were out of high school. Before that, we had internet messageboards that were as likely to die overnight as to flourish, IRC chat, and the wild west of MSN forums, which was a whole different thing altogether. (Remember the joys of being hit on by adults as an underage teen in your first chatroom and realising only years later that those people were fucking paedophiles? Because I DO.)
And then he pulls out the big guns, talking about how we get a dopamine rush when we post about ourselves online, and how this is the same brain chemical responsible for addiction, and this is why young people are glued to their phones and civilisation is ending. Which, again, yes: dopamine does what he says it does, but that is some fucking misleading bullshit, Simon Says, and do you know why? Because you also get a goddamn dopamine rush from talking about yourself in real life, too, Jesus fucking Christ, the internet is not the culprit here, to say nothing of the fact that smartphones do more than one goddamn thing. Sinek lambasts the idea of using your phone in bed, for instance, but I doubt he holds a similar grudge against reading in bed, which – surprise! – is what quite a lot of us are doing when we have our phones out of an evening, whether in the form of blogs or books or essays. If I was using a paperback book or a physical Kindle rather than the Kindle app on my iPhone, would he give a fuck? I suspect not.
Likewise, I doubt he has any particular grudge against watching movies (or TED talks, for that matter) in bed, which phones can also be used for. Would he care if I brought in my Nintendo DS or any other handheld system to bed and caught a few Pokemon before lights out? Would he care if I played Scrabble with a physical board instead of using Words With Friends? Would he care if I used the phone as a phone to call my mother and say goodnight instead of checking her Facebook and maybe posting a link to something I know will make her laugh? I don’t know, but unless you view a smartphone as something that’s wholly disconnected from people – which, uh, is kind of the literal antithesis of what a smartphone is and does – I don’t honestly see how you can claim that they’re tools for disconnection. Again, yes: some people can get addicted or overuse their phones, but that is not a millennial-exclusive problem, and fuck you very much for suggesting it magically is Because Reasons.
And do not even get me started on the total fuckery of millennials being accustomed to instant gratification because of the internet. Never mind the fact that, once again, people of any age are equally likely to become accustomed to fast internet as a thing and to update their expectations accordingly – bitch, do you know how long it used to take to download music with Kazaa using a 56k modem? Do you know how long it still takes to download entire games, or patches for games, or – for that matter – drive through fucking peak-hour traffic to get to and from work, or negotiate your toddler into not screaming because he can’t have a third juicebox? Because – oh, yeah – remember that thing where millennials stopped being teenagers quite a fucking while ago, and a fair few of us are now parents ourselves? Yeah. Apparently our interpersonal skills aren’t so completely terrible as to prevent us all from finding spouses and partners and co-parents for our tiny, screaming offspring, and if Mr Sinek would like to argue that learning patience is incompatible with being a millennial, I would like to cordially invite him to listen to a video, on loop, of my nearly four-year-old saying, “Mummy, look! A lizard! Mummy, there’s a lizard! Come look!” and see what it does for his temperament. (We live in Brisbane, Australia. There are geckos everywhere.)
But what really pisses me off about Sinek’s millennial-blaming is the idea that we’re all willing to quit our jobs because we don’t find meaning in them. Listen to me, Simon Sinek. Listen to me closely. You are, once again, confusing the very particular context of middle-class, predominantly white Americans from affluent backgrounds – which is to say, the kind of people who can afford to fucking quit in this economy – for a universal phenomenon. Ignore the fact that the global economy collapsed in 2008 without ever fully recovering: Brexit just happened in the UK, Australia is run by a coalition of racist dickheads and you’ve just elected a talking Cheeto who’s hellbent on stripping away your very meagre social safety nets as his first order of business – oh, and none of us can afford to buy houses and we’re the first generation not to earn more than our predecessors in quite a while, university costs in the States are an actual goddamn crime and most of us can’t make a living wage or even get a job in the fields we trained in.
But yeah, sure: let’s talk about the wealthy few who can afford to quit their corporate jobs because they feel unfulfilled. What do they have to feel unhappy about, really? It’s not like they’re working for corporations whose idea of HR is to hire oblivious white dudes like you to figure out why their younger employees, working longer hours for less pay in tightly monitored environments that strip their individuality and hate on unions as a sin against capitalism, in a context where the glass ceiling and wage gaps remain a goddamn issue, in a first world country that still doesn’t have guaranteed maternity leave and where quite literally nobody working minimum wage can afford to pay rent, which is fucking terrifying to consider if you’re worried about being fired, aren’t fitting in. Nah, bro – must be the fucking internet’s fault.
Not that long ago, Gen X was the one getting pilloried as a bunch of ambitionless slackers who didn’t know the meaning of hard work, but time is linear and complaining about the failures of younger generations is a habit as old as humanity, so now it’s apparently our turn. Bottom line: there’s a huge fucking difference between saying “there’s value in turning your phone off sometimes” and “millennials don’t know how to people because TECHNOLOGY”, and until Simon Sinek knows what it is, I’m frankly not interested in whatever it is he thinks he has to say.
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