#both in minutes and percentage of their videos
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ive been playing Cassette Beasts for a minute and it never stops being funny to me how flagrant they are about making this "Pokemon but with features you didn't know Pokemon has always needed". off the top of my head:
super effective/NVE hits have added benefits/debuffs beyond just doubling/halving the damage (hitting Electric types with Ground reduces their evasion and speed, hitting Steel types with Poison gives them poison-coated spikes that do contact damage, etc)
legally-distinct-Pokemon will learn new moves while in your party without having to battle, and you can then straight up steal these moves from them and put them on a not-Pokemon you actually care about using, which gives an actual incentive to hunt down and raise otherwise fringe not-mons beyond completing the not-Pokedex
we all played the Pokemon Infinite Fusion fangame right? we know how fusions work? okay so this game has them as temporary per-battle things instead of permanent ones, which is only marginally less cool while being infinitely easier to balance around
attempting to catch something shows you the percentage chance of success so you know whether you just got unlucky or if you should save your Pokeballs-i-mean-blank-cassette-tapes
leveling up is tied to your not-trainer instead of your not-pokemon, so you don't end up in the classic trap where your starter is way overleveled and everything else is underleveled and then you hit a fight your starter can't solo and have to spend an hour grinding to get the weaker not-mons up to par (funnily enough most Pokemon Nuzlocke romhacks have already figured this out and give you infinite rare candies with the only restriction being that you can't level past the next gym leader's ace pokemon, because Pokemon fans have realized that grinding is the worst part of the game way before Game Freak has)
moves, not-Pokeballs, not-PokeCenter visits, and healing items are all bought using entirely separate currencies which stops you from trivially breaking the economy in half
the soundtrack, fittingly, is pretty good! the vocals were a bit much for my taste but there's an option in the settings menu to straight up turn them off (letting the BGM play on its own), which i've never seen in any other game and really appreciate
downsides:
on a game design level, i understand why can i only carry a max of 5 not-Potions and 1 not-Revive at a time - it's to put a limit on how far away from fast travel points i can get by just running away from everything and healing off damage. on a gameplay level, however, this feels pretty bad
the pixel art style is trying to look as much like Pokemon as possible without actually being Pokemon so the overworld sprites look more like beta stuff from Pokemon that they cut for looking too weird. i have yet to find a haircut that doesn't look bad
this is super petty of me but something about the bloom and lighting of the 3d environments combined with pixelated 2d sprites that still cast shadows makes me painfully aware im playing a video game. it's like they were going for the same aesthetic as Octopath Traveler but fell just barely short. i can't think of a better way to articulate this feeling but if you know you know
it does that really obnoxious half-assed style of voice acting where plot-relevant characters will sometimes (maybe every third or fourth textbox) speak the first two or three words of dialogue before trailing off. mashing through textboxes (as one does) means constantly getting jumpscared by "hmm"s and "haha!"s "okay then!"s
i get that they wanted to make the player feel involved in the story, and it has a pretty decent hook so far, but oh my god. the amount of dialogue "choices" that just transparently do not matter. you know how people memed on Fallout 3 and 4's dialogue choices all leading to the same outcome, to the extent that you were basically choosing between "yes" and "yes (rude)"? and you know how Bethesda would at least attempt to justify how both options led to you accepting the quest anyways, even if it was really dumb? Cassette Beasts has streamlined this process even further by making the options in most of their binary decisions so identical that they don't even require different followup dailogue before rejoining into the main conversation thread. a solid 2/3rds of the dialogue options in this game so far feel like checks that you're still awake. i know this is a minor issue because people aren't playing Pokemon-likes for the engaging "choices matter" approach to storytelling, and i did ignore it at first, but it's so pervasive that you really can't ignore it
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Just Hang Up! | Sharky
Summary: Sharky and you are both too stubborn to turn off the video call.
Warnings: "shit" is used, and just fluff, you both being idiots seeing who would end the call first 🤪
A/N: no special colour font title cuz I'm lazy, and also just thought of this short cute idea bc of Sharkys insta live earlier today (14th of September)
"I still cannot believe that happened to you today!" You exclaimed into the phone, mouth still agape from shock.
Sharky and you were currently on a video call, he called you after a video shoot and was on the way home, except that he had to take the train back to get there.
He told you all about what happened at the shoot and the shocking spoilers for the next videos to come out on the beta squad channel.
About how Niko and Aj became the idiotic duo, which somehow made the video like 10 times better in his opinion, it added more to the comedy side of the video. Although at times he'd beg to differ, Sharky would say he's also kinda funny. (You've backed him up on that definitely)
"Yeah, kinda ironic, huh?" Sharky chuckled, reminiscing about what happened earlier, suddenly glancing off to the side as he heard the train announcement.
You couldn't hear it too clearly but from the few words that you did hear, you could tell it was an announcement for the next train stop.
"Is that your stop, Sharks?" Grinning as you thought of him coming home so quickly, ready to leap into his arms and give him the best hug.
He shook his head, causing your smile to turn upside down. Shutting your eyes as you sank back onto the couch you were sitting on and sighed.
"How much longer??" You groaned, turning to your side as you leaned further into the couch, now able to lean your hand against it to hold your phone.
Hearing laughter on the other side of the phone, you opened your eyes to see Sharky laughing, a cheeky smile on his face.
"Aww, you missed me that much?" He chuckled, his smirk growing even bigger as he saw your face.
"Well, obviously." You mumbled quietly, turning your gaze as you didn't want him to gain any more pride than he already had.
"What was that? I couldn't hear you?" He inched closer towards the screen, placing a hand over his ear indicating he "couldn't" hear.
"I SAID WELL OBVIOUSLY." Yelling into the phone as you rolled your eyes playfully, a small smile appearing onto your face as you hear Sharky laughing on the other end, clutching his stomach.
"Shut up." You mumbled, not being able to hide the growing smile when you see Sharky's one recovering from laughter.
"Love u too, babe." He winked, your contagious smile affecting him, grinning at you with his pearly whites.
He moved closer to the phone and scrolled downwards, a sigh escaping him as he rolled his eyes.
"Shit, my phone's on 20%," grabbing his phone on the left of his side and tapping the screen to check the percentage. "My other one is almost dead, too."
You nodded, waving a goodbye to him, "Alright babe, that's fine. See you later."
You waited for him to end the call as he waved back at you, both of you staring at each other through the screen. The whole minute of silence, expecting the other to end the call, made you two laugh.
"You go first." You chuckled, smiling as you watched Sharky cross his arms, shaking his head.
"No, you go first. I don't wanna end the call and make you feel bad."
"I won't feel bad, just end the call."
"Why don't you end it?"
"Why won't you??"
"Just end the damn call Y/N."
"You literally can press the end call button. Your phone's about to die anyway, just press it."
"Oh my days, babe, I'll feel bad, I don't like ending calls first."
"Sharky, as much as I love you, it's not the end of the world if you end the call first."
"Just end it. You're holding your phone anyway, mine's on the table."
"I'm not pressing shit."
"FINE." You heard him curse under his breath before grabbing the phone and pressing the end call button.
You laughed in victory as you texted him really quickly.
You 💟
See?? That wasn't that hard, was it??
Sharky 🦈
Stfu
You 💟
Love you too babe 🫶
Sharky 🦈
🙄
.... ily too❤️
Taglist: @b4tasquad @p3drii @n1kodl @elora-k @slutforpablogavi @enhacolor @amwife @distantfromu
Mutuals Taglist: @b4tasquad @p3drii @vctrvn-ls @allygatcr @slutforpablogavi @kennysboxergf @n1kodl @amwife @valeriesfantasty @lunasmindinwriting @kenhoess @heartsbyvalentina @stxrblxss
#shuuuuush fics#beta squad#sharky#sharky beta squad#sharky x you#sharky x reader#sharky imagines#sharky oneshots
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Pairings: None
Word Count: 2,238 Words
Summary: Ruin accidentally reveals a means to the exact person he shouldn't have.
Warnings: Overworking, Sleep Deprivation, Passing Out, Grief/Mourning, Fluff, Angst, Magic, Stabbing, Injury, Blood (oil), Crying, Touch Starvation, let me know if I should add anything else.
To Give And To Take Back
"I can't figure it out…" Moon finally admitted as he stared at the data.
"I told you." Ruin told him.
"Please… Shut up." Moon sighed as he looked at his battery percentage that had drained to two percent over these last seventeen days. He hadn't bothered sleeping or charging since Solar died, didn't want to be offline for that long when he could be finding a way to reverse this.
Moon sighed and paged Eclipse to come help, to which the annoying orange and black bot showed up to a good two minutes later of Moon basically sitting on fumes of his charge.
"What?" Eclipse asked.
"I'm under two percent, get me to a charger, please." Moon asked him and Eclipse sighed but plucked Moon up easily as the blue bot passed out against his shoulder.
"God, ya didn't have to go deadweight on me!" Eclipse growled, hauling Moon up closer to keep him from just flopping onto the floor and sighing as he readjusted his hands to carry Moon's body like a damsel.
"Still bothering to help them, are you?" Ruin asked.
"What the fuck does it matter to you?" Eclipse growled.
"Such a finicky bot. I knew you'd be a problem from the moment I made you." Ruin gave a simulated sigh of disappointment.
"I wish they'd have let me kill you." Eclipse snapped.
"Oh? Feelings now? You're getting those? I wonder, feelings for the one who put a bomb in your head stressing himself like this or are you sad as well that Solar is never coming back?" Ruin asked.
"It doesn't matter!" Eclipse defensively growled.
"I think you're grieving." Ruin gave a simulated chuckle.
"Like hell." Eclipse shot back.
"You're not denying it, Eclipse." Ruin told him. Eclipse turned around to carry Moon out without another word, refusing to look at the genocidal maniac in the cell.
"You know, not that you can do it, but there is a way to undo what I've done." Ruin told him. Eclipse halted but didn't respond. "Curious are you? You know what it entails, don't you? But you know you can't do it." Ruin taunted.
"Who said I can't?" Eclipse didn't wait to hear the response before leaving with Moon and carrying him to the daycare and into the portal to Moon and Sun's house. Sun was on the couch with old videos of Solar playing on the television with both of Sun's cats curled up on their owner.
Eclipse carried Moon upstairs to his bedroom and laid him in bed, covering the animatronic with the blanket and making sure he wasn't pinching any oil lines in the position he was in.
Then Eclipse went back downstairs and shooed the cats off Sun and hooked his arms under Sun, hauling the yellow animatronic up into his arms and carrying him upstairs to his room. Eclipse did the same process of getting Sun into bed and covering him with the blanket as well.
Eclipse went downstairs as the cats bolted past him upstairs into Sun's room to curl back up on their owner as Eclipse headed to the portal back to the daycare. Eclipse looked at the computer as he sat down at it and sighed.
"You display signs of high stress." The computer announced.
"Fucking great analysis, stupid piece of junk." Eclipse growled.
"You are keeping knowledge to yourself from the others. Shall I alert Moon?" The computer asked.
"No!" Eclipse shouted before realizing how loud he'd been. "No, he needs to charge. He passed out because he hasn't charged. It's…difficult to explain." Eclipse huffed.
"Then try." The computer insisted.
"I know how to undo it. But it's not fully possible." Eclipse told the machine.
"What is the method?" The computer asked.
"That's the issue. If I tell anyone, then it won't work if I do try it." Eclipse put his head against the desk and hid his face.
"Does it involve more death?" The computer asked.
"No. …Maybe if it goes wrong. Only one person, though." Eclipse bit out in annoyance that he was actually thinking about it.
"I understand. I recommend trying it then." The computer announced. Eclipse looked up at the computer.
"Don't give anyone my location tomorrow from 1:30pm to 4:30pm. Once 4:30 hits and nothing's happened or if I don't come back, then immediately tell Moon my location." Eclipse told the computer.
"Understood. Best of luck for your attempt. Get some rest." The computer told him. Eclipse plugged himself in to charge and looked at the time, 2:13am. He had under twelve hours to get this done. Eclipse tilted his head back and slept for a couple hours until he was at a hundred percent, then began looking up internally where exactly he should be for this to work.
Once it hit 1pm and Sun, Earth, and Lunar were in the daycare, surprisingly with Moon, who seemed to be manning the security desk, Eclipse teleported where he needed to be and sat for fifteen minutes, taking out everything he'd teleported to this park this morning before everyone showed up to the daycare around 7am.
With the tiny knife, Eclipse began carving into the grassy field of the park perfecting the runes he needed in the circle around him. Eclipse stabbed the dagger down in the very center like he was supposed to and sat on his knees with it in front of him.
Eclipse grabbed for his magic and pulled it slowly like a tether, bringing the magic pool to the circle of runes he was in, making the outer ring of the rune circle glow. Eclipse looked at the time and saw it was 3pm. Perfect.
Eclipse looked up at the sun overhead, which was partially eclipsed by the moon. Eclipse began pulsing his magic around him to his artificial heartbeat, feeling it thrum with him as he went past it to mentally grasp at the feeling of star power. He had so little time for this before the astral bodies came.
The feeling was so incredibly addicting, like a sweet poison in the back of his throat, the ichor of it tasting a bit like candy as he let the star power and his magic begin thrumming to his heartbeat, Eclipse looked at the time one last time. 3:15pm.
The sun was getting completely eclipse by the moon above, turning the sky dark like it was centered over him, the totality of it blazing overhead. Eclipse, without losing concentration of the magic and star power, pulled the dagger from the ground as the circle around him began to be the only glow around him, beaming like an aurora of mashed colors in a kaleidoscope that pulsed with his heartbeat.
Eclipse turned the blade up and, before he could think beyond it, plunged it forward into his stomach to rip through his center, making oil instantly gush from the wound in his casing and dribble from his mouth. Eclipse pulled it out, covered in his oil, and stabbed it back into the center of the circle in the opposite direction, finishing the circle.
The magic and start power he had kept concentration of melded together in a deep purple color before it seemed to beam up toward the total eclipse above him like a beacon. Eclipse felt the darkness of the eclipse above seem to swallow him whole, as if he was now in its void-like maw.
He simply let it, closing his eyes as he felt it thrum through him like his own artificial heartbeat, making him feel cold and hot at the same time as if he was going through hot and cold flashes and he felt nauseous. The hot and cold flashes passed as he felt like his body had a glow to it now, opening his eyes to see it was, a soft deep purple glow emanating from him.
Eclipse felt the darkness let him go, to stop taunting him as he put his hands against the ground and shone the beacon of his new star power brighter, making it seem to extend to the heavens like a current as it turned brighter, more powerful.
Eclipse didn't have to say anything, his new star power knew what it was doing. He could feel from the magic in his hands the dimensions out there that were slowly coming back to life, all of them. All 5,321 universes that collapsed in the flick of a wrist came back with a bustle, with the damage to the fabric of reality being undone with it.
Eclipse could feel Solar's universe coming back, could feel Solar's panic and confusion as he woke up and every other animatronic, human, and animal waking up in panic and confusion as well. 5,132 dimensions forming back just as they had been before. Over 41.5 trillion lives coming back as they used to be, the multiversal scale righting itself as he did so.
Eclipse felt the darkness lift as the eclipse above him slowly ended and he fell to his side in the circle as it stopped glowing, hands going over his stomach where he'd stabbed it, feeling it healed with phantom pains. He wiped the oil from his face and took the dagger from the circle, using it to carve through the runes to make the circle an unrecognizable patch of newly turned soil mixed with grass.
Eclipse got up, quickly leaving the field, melting the dagger in his hand as he walked out before teleporting back to the daycare once the metal completely melted and the wood crumbled to dust on the ground, leaving no trace of the event that had occurred.
Eclipse put his hands in his pockets as he walked into the daycare, which was bustling with frantic energy. Lunar was running to hide by Earth and Sun was frantically asking Moon what was happening as Sun stood by the ball pit. Moon stood at the computer, eyes panickedly looking over the information the computer was displaying to him.
"Portal open!" The computer chimed happily.
"What dimension!?" Moon asked frantically.
"Unlisted." The computer lied. It lied for Eclipse as it seemed to know just what he'd done. He was sure it did, it had probably had a surge of unlisted dimensions pass through its interdimensional radar.
"Moon!" Sun called to his twin, who was busy looking over what the number of the dimension was. Eclipse pushed him away from the computer to make him go toward Sun, ushering Earth to follow with Lunar as well, giving her a wordless nod.
Moon went to his twin and grabbed Sun's arm, worried about what was happening right now and Earth curiously went over with Lunar against her side. Eclipse followed them with a half-smile on his face, watching as the portal pulsed and then the balls rattled before a very familiar brown and amber face surfaced with an angry grunt, clawing their way to the island in the ball pit.
"Little help here!? My legs still ain't working fully yet! I'm limping like an old man!" Solar called and Eclipse gave a happy half-chuckle hearing him. It was nice to hear his double's voice. It was nice to see his family begin to cry and scream in relief as Moon practically dove into the ball pit followed by Sun to help Solar get out of it.
"You came back…" Moon had amber oil running down his face as tears as he buried his face into Solar's shoulder, probably staining Solar's shirt already but Solar didn't seem to care as he got his footing, standing on the padded floor of the daycare.
"How did you come back?" Sun asked, wiping his face with his wrist ribbons and trying not to cry too much while Lunar and Earth immediately hugged Solar to make sure he was real.
"I don't know." Solar told them. "I just woke up in my dimension and I knew I had to get back here. It was…awful." Solar admitted.
"It was me." Eclipse told them.
"You?" Moon asked.
"I'll probably have astrals on me soon enough." Eclipse went the more roundabout way of telling them.
"You…" Lunar whispered as he realized what Eclipse meant.
"I did." Eclipse confirmed.
"You have star powers?" Moon asked.
"Spatial manipulation. Which I will happily never use again." Eclipse confirmed.
"You brought me back." Solar smiled at him.
"Yeah. Couldn't take everyone crying and moping anymore." Eclipse waved the warm feeling in his chest away, disregarding it.
"Thank you, Eclipse, for letting me come home." Solar loved and hugged Eclipse, which was something he wasn't used to. It made Eclipse's casing tingle and his chest feel warm like he was burning up. Eclipse felt unwilling tears pricking in his eyes and distorting his vision as Moon, then Sun hesitantly joined in hugging Eclipse, followed by Earth and Lunar as well.
Eclipse smiled, feeling his whole body warm with the various hugs. He wouldn't admit it aloud, but he liked this feeling and he felt like he could bask in this feeling for a bit.
It was comforting for his heart having ached hearing Earth sob and Lunar scream and Moon hide and cry himself to sleep, and Sun grieving silently. It felt good to be able to rub it in Ruin's face later. He did the near impossible and survived it too. He was grateful that Solar was back, he missed him just as much as everyone else.
#sun and moon show#sams#five nights at freddy's#fnaf#fnaf moon#fnaf ruin eclipse#fnaf eclipse#fnaf lunar#fnaf eath#fnaf sun#fnaf solar#snoweywrites#tw overworking mention#tw sleep deprivation mention#tw passing out mention#tw grieving mention#tw angst#tw stabbing mention#tw injury mention#tw blood mention
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I've just read the new pages of Homestuck, and a few things stuck out to me! Pages 17-19 follow up on some of yesterday's inventory based panels by showing us how items can be combined, used on other items, and how spaces in the room can be selected (in addition to items). These mechanics and the return of the big cursor really feel like a video game tutorial, but who for? John isn't playing a game (yet?) and neither are we, although I suppose if there was a way for us to enter the commands that link to the next pages then we would be?
Next there's this clip from the movie Con Air. At 1 minute and 21 seconds and on page 20 of this webcomic, it takes up a good percentage of the story so far, and it's really different in tone and content to what we've seen of John playing with his magic chest and inventory, which is jarring. It's followed up by a page on Deep Impact, and I guess this says something about John's character that he is into these movies (which might be more impactful if I'd seen them?) - but it seems weird to focus on other media properties so soon into a new one. Unless these are supposed to be influences and the story is going to take a sudden sharp turn in an action movie direction?
Most interesting of all is the 'beta version' of this comic, linked from page 22. The content is very similar but the vibe of it is completely different, mostly because of the art style. It's both smoother and more whimsical, which fit with the character being 10 instead of 13. I love how expressive John is in this beta, especially in the first panel when he looks up to the top left corner and frowns, and page 6 when he distinctly doesn't see the cursor being waved in front of his face.
The extra sound effects, zooms, and actual interactivity make it feel more like a game for the reader to play, so I wonder if that was the original intent and then the author switched to the new, less interactive version for some reason? Curious as well how the cursor is almost the same shape as the Sburb Beta poster on John's wall, definitely all signs are pointing to this game being important to the story.
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It's always funny to me when a big-name youtuber argues vociferously that souls-like games DO have a difficulty setting, it's Playing The Game Right (leveling, build, using summons, etc), and then later on in the same video will have a fifteen minute long section complaining about how certain boss fights completely invalidate certain builds or require you to drastically alter your style of play, and i'm like... I thought you were in FAVOR of this.
And of course they're not, they just don't understand what a difficulty setting IS anymore, and that's completely fair because I think that most DEVELOPERS don't either, but it means that the criticism they make is always couched in a fundamental misunderstanding of the thing they're trying to criticise (and also usually a complete misunderstanding of where the criticism comes from).
And I want to be clear, I've beaten basically every single Dark Souls game, I beat bloodborne, I played shitloads of elden ring and the reason I didn't beat it was because I got bored, and I've done speedruns and soul level 1 runs of dark souls 3. I'm pretty much the dark souls power player that everyone expects would argue AGAINST having difficulty options.
But.
I've been playing thousands of hours of battletech, and the battletech difficulty screen has been the singlehandedly biggest argument I've had change my mind.
In the game, Battletech modifies difficulty per mission by changing the total health of enemies, changing their skills and experience levels, the usual fare of difficulty curves (although damage is never affected, thank god). But having all these granular options can dramatically change the way the game is played without simply affecting health values or hit percentages.
Toggling mech destruction and lethality means that losing a mech in a mission or having a pilot be knocked unconscious removes them permanently. They're killed, destroyed, you need to go get a new one. That's a HUGE change from the base difficulty where having a mech be completely destroyed in combat just removes the weapon components and costs a ton to repair. Likewise, changing the number of parts required to buy or salvage in order to complete a mech DRAMATICALLY changes the game - the maximum amount of parts you can get from a single mech is 3, and usually you only get 1. Needing 3 parts means that if you're lucky, you could see a brand new mech in a mission, blow its head off, and get one for free. Moving that scale up both means that rare or expensive mechs take much much longer to earn, but also that replacing mechs takes much longer (meaning that losses are even more painful).
Like, every single one of these options can dramatically affect how you play the game or change the feel of it to something much more interesting to you as a player - do you want to play a rogue-like game where you have to save and scrounge to get new mechs, and each mech and pilot is a precious resource you have to protect? or do you want to powerscale fast and constantly get new mechs and rare weapons?
And like, having extremely granular options for gameplay isn't for everyone, but then again, there are the owlcat pathfinder CRPGs that do this same thing, but have a base 'easy-normal-hard' sort of slider that automatically selects certain options, and you can adjust them if you want. If you're not interested in going through each slider you can just say 'I'd like normal please' and the game automatically makes all the selections, but you can also stop and say 'hey actually let me turn on permadeath too' and you can do that.
And I think that when people think about difficulty, they think about the most basic 'health and damage adjustments' sliders, and not ANYTHING else that actually have much more of an impact. I will hit this point to my grave that dark souls would massively benefit from difficulty options like turning off instakill effects (like curse or petrification) or removing the harsh penalty of dying when you can't get back to your bloodstain because a) that's often what drive new players off the most, and b) it doesn't fuckin' matter anyway, all you're losing is souls, the only thing it does is make you have to go grind more to make up for it.
And of course, there are always EXTRA challenge runs people come up with - nuzlocke runs of pokemon, soul level 1 runs of dark souls, hell, when I do Battletech I often add additional challenges like 'no intentional destruction of civilian buildings' or 'each mech must be assigned to a pilot and if one of them is sidelined, so is the other'
But challenge runs aren't difficulty settings, and more importantly there's no way to unchallenge run a game. You can decide to make the game harder for yourself, but you can't make the game EASIER. And when people say that you can, they're lying to you. Like yeah, there builds that are very strong in dark souls, and leveling optimally will make the game easier, but if you don't know what optimal leveling looks like, it's pointless. If you have a deep and thorough understanding of the game, and you check the messageboards, and delve through the wiki, and use a couple of exploits, the game will be easy! And if it's still too hard for you after that? Well, go fuck yourself, you just spent hours of your life doing research only to give up on the game anyway.
And the truth is, most people who argue that dark souls shouldn't have a difficulty slider are doing it out of bad faith, because they have a certain amount of ego riding on 'being good at hard game' as a character trait, and making these games more accessible frightens them because what if being good at dark souls isn't actually getting them into heaven
but also because they're somehow afraid that having extra difficulty options in the game will tempt them into choosing them? And then they won't get the 'true experience'?
Gamers are some of the most fragile people in existence that the mere option of reducing difficulty sends them into hysterics.
#dark souls#battletech#elden ring#i'm swinging at the hornet's nest I know#but I couldn't help myself#i had joseph anderson's video on elden ring in the background and I had to stop it when he said that shit#because it's so prevalent among game youtubers now#and it's the most vocal and highlighted members of the community saying it#so it's going to keep being treated like a maxim of gaming#that making games easier is terrible#and I'm just like. I'm too old for this shit. I can't spend a hundred hours on this game.#I'm not interested in having to redo this fight again#which is why I stopped playing elden ring honestly#because I kind of like spending an hour or two learning a fight#but then if the boss is reused FIVE MORE TIMES
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Best and Worst of Both Worlds (part 26)
Tw: non con kiss from our resident creep Monty, shoet chapter again
VOTE ON THE POLLS BELOW PLS FIRST 20 PPL ONLY COUNTED
part 27
"(name), as much as I love to hear your thoughts on the fabric Spandex, it's time for you to attend your lecture." He interrupted your rant about certain types of pants.
He's right, you should go. 20 minutes went by quick and you had forgotten what you told Yves. How did this conversation start? You have no idea.
But the conversation was getting so much fun! You don't want to go to class, you'd rather talk to Yves.
Yves covered his mouth with his hand as he chuckled, that was what he needed to hear after days of neglect from you. Education be damned, he is feeding his yearning for you first. He can always revise with you when he comes back.
"You are adorable, (name). Very well then, stay on the line with me."
You yap ahead, walking away from the entrance of your lecture, dodging the other students that are flowing in.
__
You find a secluded space where you can sit and finally conduct a video call with Yves after three days.
He's watching you with such admiration as you spew out nonsense from your mouth. It was a bit difficult at first because it felt like Yves was looking straight into your eyes through the screen. You don't know how he could maintain such great eye-contact with the camera lens without ever looking at himself in the call.
Yves is watching you while propping his head on a gloved hand. It seems like he's in a private balcony of sorts while he has earbuds on.
He is more ethereal than you remembered, especially now that he's wearing winter fashion, a heavy coat draped around his shoulders to combat the cold. There was wind blowing softly at his ever so healthy hair, but none of the strands stuck to his face.
You noticed that his makeup style is a bit different than what you're used to. It's a tad bit heavier and paler, but alluring and subtle nonetheless. Perhaps the weather influences how he looks.
He must have great reception there as the video feed you received from him is immaculate, it's clear and crisp. Almost as if you're watching a romantic film in the cinema, or a video captured with the intent of winning an award, something about the lighting, angle and the colours made him exceptionally beautiful and almost dream-like.
You? You looked like shit. A wad of jittering pixels that was recorded from an unflattering angle. Your call was running on the cheapest option of your data plans and your phone can be considered a relic of time. Of course it's not going to be the best quality, Yves made a note to give you an upgrade when he comes back home. Multiple upgrades, even.
You paid no mind to the fact that he occasionally scribbled something in his notebook, too engrossed in your own chattiness to notice.
Yves's eyes flitted to his laptop off screen. The corners of his lips temporarily twitched downwards.
He took a deep breath and exhaled slowly through his nose.
"(name)."
You stopped. Asking what's up.
He pointed his finger upwards to a corner. You have no idea what he is pointing at off camera, but you instinctively let your eyes wander to the direction of his finger.
The icon showing your battery levels is highlighted red. You're on your last few percentages. That was strange, how did he know where to point? How did he know that your phone is going to die?
"Did you bring your powerbank?" He asked, pouting because he knew you didn't. Yves has no choice but to end the call with you soon.
As he predicted, you didn't. Not even a charger where you could plug in an outlet somewhere.
"Then, goodbye, my dear. I'll speak to you later." He didn't look too happy having to let you go for now. But Yves wants to make sure you have a means of contacting help during emergencies.
He ended the call immediately. Yves then went on to dial Mr. Jones's number.
Meanwhile, you picked your phone up and placed it back onto the table, flicking your hand due to the heat it produced. You can't put that in your pocket now.
Question marks started popping up, you never told him that your phone is dying. Maybe your facial expressions gave it away? But it's still unbelievable how he could guess it. You did confirm it when he asked you if you brought anything that can charge your phone.
You started reflecting upon earlier events. You couldn't figure out how Yves knew Evangeline turned your speakerphone on. Was there a change in audio quality that told him everything he needed to know? If so, Yves is the most observant person you've ever met in your life.
Or maybe you're just that predictable. You don't know whether to take offense to that or not.
Regardless, your train of thought was interrupted by a pinch on the ear. You let out a surprised yell, your attacker pulling on your delicate flesh painfully.
"Joe Mama, huh? Anita Bath, huh? Ha, ha. Very funny, sweetheart." You whined and sobbed as he continued twisting your ear, you tried clawing his strong, callous hand off you.
Montgomery didn't budge while you wriggled under his punishment. He has a pinch power only an older sibling could yield, it's impossible to break free without tearing your ear off your head.
"You lil' prick, you're lucky that you're so cute. I'm lettin' your shenanigans slide for now." He lets you go and you cradle your reddened ear. Montgomery lets out a laugh as you recover from his assault.
"Hi, baby." He kissed your temple while you were distracted. You let out a shout of disgust before wiping your skin.
"Thanks for the number anyways, darlin'. I appreciate it." Montgomery sat next to you, setting down a large pizza box.
You asked him how he knew that was your number.
"I told you I'm gonna find out, didn't I?" He gave you a smug smirk.
You asked if Evangeline told him. He rolled his eyes and groaned at the mention of her name.
"Ugh, that stuck up brat? Lord no, I ain't need her help. And, I can't stand bein' around her, I dunno how you do it though." He began opening the box, revealing hot, delicious pepperoni pizza slices. Steam was emanating from the pie and its aroma made your mouth water.
He smiled seeing that his food choice today elicits a more positive response than yesterday. Probably because you haven't eaten since, the chicken and waffles were untouched on the table.
He took a peek into the greasy paper bag. Montgomery sighed upon seeing that you didn't eat your breakfast.
"Listen, (name). I know you're workin' hard for ya' future. But you still gotta eat! What the hell are ya' gonna do when ya' faint in class?"
You stayed silent as he chided you.
"If they faint, I'll be there to help them." You and Montgomery lifted heads to see a third person butting into the conversation.
"Not you again." Montgomery grumbled upon seeing Evangeline's cheery face. She gave her signature jazz hand and toothy smile.
You feel uncomfortable. Fearing that this is going to be an awkward dynamic between the girl who your boyfriend just dragged through the phone, and your creepy delusional stalker.
However, this is the closest you could get to an actual friend group in university. Pathetic, isn't it?
You avoided her eyes. But all she did was sit opposite of you.
"Oh, don't worry about this morning, (name). Sir Yves is known to be a grouch, after all." She held your hand and squeezed it. "I'm sure he said all that in the heat of the moment, he's going to get over it soon."
The mention of Yves was enough ruffle Montgomery's feathers.
"That fuckin' asshole. I fuckin' hate him, is he still botherin' you sweetheart?" He looked at you.
You don't know how to answer.
"Hey, it isn't very nice to call their boyfriend that." Scolded Evangeline.
"I'm their boyfriend! Not that... freak!" He hissed.
"Whatever you say, Monty."
"Don't fuckin' call me that, shut up!" Montgomery retaliated while Evangeline giggled.
He huffed as he sat back down and seethed in silence. But you think Montgomery doesn't see Evangeline as a threat, more like an annoying housefly hovering around him.
"Ooh, pepperoni! Yummy." She propped her head up with both hands, staring into the pizza box.
"Yeah. And you can't have any-" Montgomery paused, watching you from the corner of his eyes. You stared back, not showing any emotion in particular, but Montgomery read it as judgement.
Soon after, he relented. "One. One slice. Then fuck off, leave me and (name) alone."
She squealed excitedly and clapped her hands. "I will take the slice, but I will not, fuck off." Evangeline gave both of you a cocky grin. Montgomery widened his eyes and let his jaw drop in anger.
"Why you--!"
You decided to stand up and walk away from both of them. That was sufficient to shut them up.
"Hey! Where are ya' goin', sweetheart?"
Montgomery yelled out from across the hall, but you ignored him and scurried out.
You picked up the pace when you heard them packing up too, pulling your phone out, you tried dialing Yves.
But before you could press "call", your phone died.
You cussed under your breath and let your legs propel you forward.
"(name), wait up!" Evangeline called from behind, you heard the heels of her flats striking the ground.
You only had a second to react when a tall shadow engulfed you. A strong hand on your right shoulder and a softer, gentler one on your left stopped you in your tracks.
"Where ya' headin'?" Montgomery asked you.
You gulped, alternating your gaze from Evangeline's blue optics to Montgomery's deep brown ones.
You could head to the library to use their public chargers to power up your phone. But that would mean you're stuck with Evangeline and Montgomery. There is a designated place for students to eat and chat, they're most likely going to drag you there.
Or, you could head to the picnic benches near the general parking lot. There are power outlets with cables suitable for your phone there as well, powered by solar panels. The campus security patrols around the area regularly, you could just make a scene if anything goes south.
However, it's going to be hot. Boiling, even. Because it's outdoors and you think that the tables under the shade are already taken.
You asked them for the time, Montgomery beat Evangeline to it because he has a watch on his wrist.
"It's 12:18, why?" He asked. Usually Montgomery has an hour and a half of break.
You asked Evangeline if she has any class after this. She shook her head.
"Nope, I'm all done for today."
The classes in the afternoon are all lectures. No attendance is being taken, you could call Mr. Jones to save you. But that means there will be a chance Evangeline will hop on and tell her father what happened between her and Yves. You're not sure if you can handle the awkwardness.
But before you can even call Mr. Jones in the first place, you have to revive your phone first.
Using all the information you have, you made your decision.
#yandere#yandere x reader#yandere oc#yandere male#yandere concept#tw yandere#yandere x you#oc yves#yandere oc x reader#male yandere oc x reader#oc Montgomery#oc evangeline
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[12:23 AM] — ୨୧
tags. mikage reo x gn!reader, 690 wc, fluff, late night studying, cramming last minute, both reo and reader are in high school, established relationship, this is v self-indulgent, slightly proofread, use of profanities.
you were staring blankly at your computer screen, blinking every few seconds as you mentally revised through everything you did this whole week, wondering why the fuck you kept losing your battles against the temptation to procrastinate every time you sat down at your desk with the intent to study.
as you internally prayed to the gods above that some unfortunate miracle (such as you falling down two flights of stairs and breaking a limb tomorrow morning) can come true, you're anxiously tapping the tip of your pen against the desk.
tap, tap, tap, tap.
the waves of anxiety has finally washed over you the first time in this whole week. as you lightly bit your tongue in hopes to chew away the guilt, the ghost of your actions are haunting you as you're trying to memorise all the content you needed to know for tomorrow's (technically today) quiz.
usually, you could care less about such a minute issue like a quiz, but hell, this one actually contributed to a fat percentage of your final score for this subject.
and while you've been a full-time procrastinator since middle school, you still seek self-validation from As and A pluses in your academic career (straight As give you a divine boost of self-esteem).
hence, as a product of your procrastination and desire to do well, you're feeling absolutely shit about tomorrow, and you're plotting ways to squeeze in even one more day to study for this quiz.
could you catch a fever? definitely.
you're willing to stand in the cold night for two hours to make sure that your core body temperature becomes erratic.
broken arm? you're hesitating, but bones can heal—
scrunching your face at the sight of your phone vibrating beside you, you sighed when reo's caller id took up the screen. accepting the video call, you placed your phone against a pile of folders.
"hi baby! didn't think you'd pick up at this hour."
to reo's surprise, your lips displayed a scowl instead of your usual, cute smile. you enviously watch reo pull his blanket closer to his shoulders in his bed, and a "tch" slips past your lips.
"i'm studying," you grumbled, with a sour expression on your face. "for the econ quiz."
"then why do you look like you wanna kill someone right now?"
"because i wished i fucking studied before! god — i keep procrastinating and i'm actually so mad at myself for this," you groaned, flipping through the pages you've marked in your textbook. looking at the amount of content that you needed to know was enough of a stimulus to make you faint right here, right now.
"hey, hey... it's okay. how much have you done so far?" reo asked, tone cheery and lovely. you can tell he's trying to spread some optimism to you, but to your dismay, your screen is blocking it out.
with a final sigh, you dropped your head against the desk. "like, half. but i don't even have that half thoroughly memorised."
you notice that his smile slightly falters as he sits up. "i mean, you have nine hours until the quiz. you have time."
"reo, i don't just need time — i need luck. i seriously don't know if i can pass."
reo runs a hand through his hair as he leaves his bed. you watch him bring his phone with him somewhere before you sat up again, frowning at your textbook. you furrowed your brows as he props his phone up, and you can see that he's at his desk now. reo shoots you a charming smile as he leans closer to the phone.
"lucky for you, your boyfriend is top of the class, so i-"
your lips fall into a straight line. "that's not what i needed to hear, mikage reo."
"baby, you didn't even let me finish. i was going to say — i can help you! i'll teach this to you," he says, sending you a wink from his side of the call. "we've got this!"
finally breaking out of your vexed mood with a laugh, you returned his wink with a smile. "thank you, reo."
"of course. anything for my darling."
© yoisami 2023. plagiarism, translation and distribution of my works outside of tumblr is not permitted.
#૮(ˊ ᵔ ˋ)ა — ୨୧ by saki#reo i love u pls tell me u love me too#blue lock#bllk#blue lock x reader#blue lock x you#mikage reo#reo mikage#reo x reader#reo x you#mikage reo x reader#mikage reo x you#reo mikage x reader#reo mikage x you#reo fluff#reo imagines
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To the Nonnie with the cousins...
Hamas controls Gaza. You realize that every "official" number coming out of Gaza is released by Hamas, right?
With the Oct 17 al-Ahli hospital incident, it has been publicly proven that Hamas lies. Within 10 minutes of the explosion, Hamas claimed that Israel struck the hospital, killing 500 people (a number of bodies impossible to count within just 10 minutes). It was later verified by several independent bodies that:
the explosion was caused by a failed Palestinian rocket
it hit the parking lot rather than the hospital
and the number of those killed is far lower than Hamas reported (somewhere between 10 to 50 according to a European source as quoted by AFP, somewhere around 100 according to an American source as quoted by the New York Times)
Hamas is the same antisemitic terrorist organization, which has claimed it hasn't murdered any Israeli civilians:
youtube
So, why do you choose to believe any of Hamas' figures or claims?
This is an excellent post on why Hamas' numbers are unreliable.
This is a video from the IDF spokesman where he addresses: continued Hamas attempts to infiltrate Israel, that Israel is doing its best to lower the number of civilian casualties, Hamas lies about the fuel in Gaza, Hamas lies about the number of Palestinians killed and the percentage of civilians out of that, and President Biden's own disbelief when it comes to the numbers provided by Hamas.
So, why overlook that, in addition to inflating the number of civilians killed in Gaza vs the number of terrorists, the number of fatalities reported by Hamas would never reveal how many were killed by Palestinian rockets misfiring, and falling inside Gaza?
Or what exactly do you think Israel is allowed to do to keep its citizens, both Jews and Arabs, safe from another Hamas massacre?
Or why do you think Gazans wouldn't be safer in the long run without Hamas, which abuses them directly, and puts them in harm's way when using them as human shields as it attacks Israel?
Or why overlook that in my posts since Oct 7, I repeatedly mentioned that both Israelis and Palestinians deserve to live, and to do so in peace and with dignity, that Israel IS making an effort to keep Palestinian civilian casualties down, or that Israel's current military actions aren't "retribution," they're self-defense? Hamas has started firing rockets at Israel on Oct 7, as a part of the massacre, and it hasn't stopped since! That deadly attack is still on going. And you want Israel to do... what exactly? Stop attacking Hamas infrastructure, sit down quietly, and let Hamas continue to target Israeli citizens? I want to believe that your ask is sincere, and I feel like if you truly condemn what Hamas did, if you truly are against the continued slaughter of Israeli civilians, if you do have 3 cousins living not too far from Tel Aviv (whose lives Israel is protecting by acting against Hamas with as much care for civilian Gazans as is possible), you wouldn't be in favor of that.
(for all of my updates and ask replies regarding Israel, click here)
#israel#israeli#israel news#israel under attack#israel under fire#israelunderattack#terrorism#anti terrorism#antisemitism#hamas#antisemitic#antisemites#jews#jew#judaism#jumblr#frumblr#jewish
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Fuck it, I'm using this platform. This is both important and severely urgent. It's technically not even totally unrelated to the Faire: loads of Faire actors have adhd, being that adhd-thinking gives one a natural advantage in improv.
Tldr, which I'm putting at the top: you have a chance to help people with adhd whose lives have been upended as a result of lack of access to their medication.
For those who don't know, there has been a shortage of Adderall and Adderall equivalents for at least a year-and-a-half now. This is basically because stimulant medication is a controlled substance, so the Drug Enforcement Administration (DEA) imposes a limit on the amount that can be legally manufactured in the u.s. within the span of a year. The percentage of people with adhd has not increased; however, between the pandemic upending everybody's routines and coping mechanisms, increased visibility and understanding of adhd, and gradual erosion of stereotypes and stigma of the same, more of us are FINALLY actually getting diagnosed. More diagnoses means more treatment plans, which, in turn, means more prescription of Adderall and Adderall equivalents, and other stimulant medications, to the point that prescription amounts surpass the yearly cap.
This has, to put it bluntly, been absolute hell for the millions of people of all ages who literally need this medication to function. Our careers, grades, relationships, and more have been gutted, and so many of us have been reduced to a shadow of ourselves, exhausted and scrambling, never making headway. Individuals have suffered, families have suffered, and society has suffered.
The good news: the DEA is finally taking public comments on the matter of this low limitation. The bad news: comments must be submitted by 11:59pm EST on Monday December 4th – literally today.
For the sake of all Faire actors whose natural A-to-C thinking patterns have granted you laughter and joy, as well as tons of your fellow PARF enjoyers, PLEASE go tell the DEA to raise the cap.
Here's the link to the proposed aggregate production quota document.
Here's the link to the search results for "Docket No. DEA–1228P" on regulations-dot-gov.
Here's a link directly to the comment form.
For more information on how stimulant medication helps people with adhd, I recommend this ten-minute video from the esteemed How To ADHD youtube channel.
For more information on adhd in general, here is a playlist of definitions and explanations of common adhd terms.
A playlist of more expanded videos about what adhd is.
A playlist of fundamentals of how to exist with adhd.
And a final note: there are more steps to submitting a comment than just the comment itself, so be sure to leave a little extra time.
#not strictly parf#adhd#how to adhd#adderall shortage#please help us for the love of all that's good#drug enforcement administration adderall cap#dea adderall cap#adderall cap#drug enforcement administration#dea
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Happy New Year! 2/3 (Tumblr Why)
So apparently tumblr won't let me do a lot of images in one post and instead of reducing the amount of images I'll be using like a sane person I am making multiple posts. Cheers!
Part 1 || Part 3
Back to video games!
I love the steam recaps, both mine and looking at all my friends’ but I’ll just post mine here.
I don’t even remember playing Dishonored this year. I still have the weird desire to 100% it even though I only have the challenge-mode stuff left and of those I only have four left. I’m so freaking close. But I also haven’t touched the game in close to a year. Argh.
That spider-graph underestimates my ability to turn any game into a stealth game. I’m not sure what the game from this year was that’s counting as 3% I think Plate Up! was released last year and I’m doubting Destiny 2 counts even if it is an ongoing game so I assume that must be for the Touchstarved Demo. I do kind of wonder if I’ll ever have a high percentage for new releases just because it takes me forever to get to anything. Releases from the last 1-7 years was 11%, and releases from longer ago was 86% but that will be because I played a lot of short games from the 90’s and 00’s.
Just like my reading my gaming dropped off during the summer. It’s so hard to make time for things how do people do it. I find a physical hobby to do and it just consumes all of my time and energy and brain power.
There’s all the games. I didn’t count anything I spent a very small amount of time on in my personal count. Things like the HE activity packs or mini-games where I played for 5, maybe 10, minutes and stopped. Shockingly mini-games meant to entertain six year olds in the 90’s are not very compelling to a 30 year old in 2023 (though some were very graphically/artistically impressive which was more fascinating and engaging than the mini-games themselves). The actual point-and-click games all hold up surprisingly well. There’s some things that are a little aggravating like Freddi fish’s friend, Luther, makes just the worst jokes. I think so far I’ve been liking Pajama Sam and Putt-Putt the best. We’re done Spy Fox now and I think we still have a few Putt-Putt games left and one or two Freddi Fish games and Pajama Sam games.
I had the farm Buzzy game growing up (which is so strange seeing as I lived on a farm, why did my parents get me that) but not any others and the airport one is wild, genuinely very educational and it’s impressive how much stuff they crammed in there. We haven’t played any recently, though. Also all of Steam’s tags are liars, I did not first play these games in 2023, I first played all these HE games in like, 1998 or something, on an old machine I can still picture in my mind but have no way to look up. I don’t even remember what make it was.
(I asked my dad, because he used to take pictures of everything growing up, but shockingly he appears to have primarily taken photos of me and my sister doing things and not just pictures of random objects around the house. Strange. He did say it was probably a custom computer that had been built for his company so we even went through old company photos but, again, no photos of just people at their desks or their desk set-ups. Through this process I realized the computer I’m currently using is my third desktop, ever. Maybe that’s not that wild but for a device I use almost every day of my life it feels weird for it to “only” be the third one. In my lifetime there’s, so far, been 5 generations of playstations so I feel like I’m doing pretty good on the turnover rate for desktop computers. Here’s a doodle of what I think my first desktop computer looked like:
I can remember the overall shape of it but the details are foggy now. Its name was PC 11, though, because that’s what it was called at his workplace. The real kicker is I probably used to have a photo of it, but I lost all my old photos when my back-up drive gave out on me and I, foolishly, only had my photos on my back-up drive because my computer didn’t have room for them. I’m going to see if my sister, who is younger than me, somehow, magically, has any photos of this thing. Anyway back to video games.)
Donut County was an absolute delight. I think that’s the only other game on there I haven’t talked about at all and it was just a really good time. Cute story and very satisfying gameplay, I had a great time playing it.
We also revisited a series Steph and I played in or just after Highschool which was really fun to revisit with friends.
The Chzo series stands up surprisingly well. I don’t think I’d recommend them for a newcomer but for something I played forever ago (I don’t think I ever beat the series but I know I played the first two) I’m surprised at how well it held up and it was fun to re-experience with friends. There’s some very questionable plot elements and some unfortunate word choices which is why I won’t recommend them but it’s super impressive that one guy just… made these. It’s genuinely very cool and impressive.
Sony is apparently also doing a year in review or “wrap up” this year for the first time ever, I was kind of hoping it would include PS3 data somehow. It didn’t. So this is all I get:
I do really like the graphics they have on everything, too bad my poor PS4 was basically neglected so those graphics are wasted on my dismal play-stats.
They just look really nice. I do think it’s interesting that Sony’s approach to this outright feels a little more cynical and like it rolled out of the marketing department than other wrap-ups. They throw in a little “look at all these cool games you could be playing with playstation plus” and then of course…
Did you know?? You can buy a PS5?? Did you know?? Come buy one. :)
Anyway.
That’s about all I played this year, so I can move on.
To my other hobbies, of which I have about seventeen billion. As I mentioned last year: I was really into reshelling stuff until I ran out of stuff to reshell. So I did reshell one controller this year. One of my Switch procontrollers I wasn’t super happy with, so I changed it to look like the joycons I did for my step-brother and I’m much happier with it:
I also got a bunch of cute thumbgrips for all my modern Nintendo controllers. I’ve never liked add-on thumb grips much but for whatever reason I don’t find the current generation of Nintendo controllers to have comfortable analogue sticks so having cute pads is elevating my Nintendo experience both aesthetically and physically.
And then I realized people sell shells for Gameboys so decided to do the GBAs from my childhood (I don’t know how I wound up with two, and one was my sister’s):
The hinges were so hard to get back in right, different guides said to do different things and they were all wrong. Luckily I had six hinges to get there on so by the time I got to the one with the nicest screen I had it figured out but the Pikachu one has squishy unsatisfying hinges now (and the hinges are so hard to get back out I’m not going to bother fixing it). And some of the batteries were getting puffy so I replaced them (which was maybe silly since these aren’t going to be played often but oh well).
I really love the aesthetics of a clear-case on a GBA. There is just SO much crammed in there it really tickles my brain. Any motherboard looks pretty dense but these are particularly dense in a way that looks visually distinct than even something like the 3DS (picture further down) because there’s so little real estate for them to get everything in there. I know people really like clear cases in general (and I am also a fan) but it hits extra good on something like this where there is just so much to see.
I have continued repairing people’s Nintendo Switches from fans to joycon drift. I still like fixing things whenever I can (I just fixed a kettle a few days ago which I fully did not expect to be able to fix) and one of the major things that needed fixing this year was CurseBreaker, the computer I built at the end of 2020.
My poor computer. Toward the end of 2022 I wanted to try a liquid cooler (which they call an AIO) instead of the stock fan, there was literally no reason to do this except for the thrill of it (AMD’s stock coolers are very good, or at least mine was) and CPUs were on major sale at the time so I figured if I’m messing around I might as well update my CPU, too. About a month later my computer started crashing randomly. Completely randomly, and it wouldn’t fully crash it would kind of “hang” in a really strange way. I could sometimes open programs but task manager would boot but not operate properly, internet connectivity vanished, random programs would freeze, trying to shut down or restart the computer would just have it pinwheel on the shutdown screen forever. Usually I could save whatever I was working on before restarting and sometimes whatever I saved would corrupt. (It also refused to load the windows colour profile on boot, but it still won’t do that, so that is unrelated but I thought it was something at the time.)
I eventually got to the point where I could usually make it crash by watching twitch (specifically twitch did it) while using photoshop. But it wouldn’t trigger right away, and sometimes it wouldn’t trigger at all, but it did it much more often with the twitch and photoshop combo than with anything else. I started writing every time it messed up on a notepad and everything I tried to do to troubleshoot. I was in Reliability History every day (a feature of Windows I did not previously know existed), I was in Event Viewer (a very stressful place to go looking in, Windows can and will consider everything an ‘error’: it considers firefox being my default browser an error and I am not kidding). My computer could Not tell me what the heck was up. The crashing started earlier but by the time I realized it was an ongoing problem and not a few weird crashes it was mid-January so I used Reliability History to see the previous two weeks and started writing my notes, I made a timeline, I even tracked the time between crashes in case it was some bizarre clock thing or ticking time bomb (it wasn’t).
My headphone ear pads broke during this and I had to sew them back together because my headphones are weird and suck and don’t have replacements available to buy. Obviously that wasn’t directly related to my computer’s problems but it didn’t help me feel any less cursed since I use those headphones exclusively with my computer. I also expanded my storage during this time which maybe wasn’t the best idea but someone wanted me to try Destiny 2 and I didn’t have space to spare (the storage installed fine, but almost immediately after I had a bunch of crashes/hangs). And then one of my computer case’s USB ports broke???
How??? How!! I am SO careful. I do not understand how or why this happened and I have been around computers my entire life—this is the only time I have EVER seen a USB port break like this. None of the computers in my highschool had broken USB ports! And people jammed USBs in and out of those! This USB port is still broken, I just have a dust plug in it but I might put a sticker over it. It’s technically usable if you bend that pin back out but it gets crammed back in very easily.
Finally, after four months of this, after partially re-installing Windows, and then fully re-installing Windows, after downloading and updating every driver I could find, after trying to unplug various devices to see if a USB device was causing issues, after fighting with Task Scheduler to get the Windows Color System to work, after uninstalling and reinstalling everything I could or straight up uninstalling things I didn’t need that Windows quietly downloads when you’re not looking (Skype just will not leave my machine Windows keeps dragging it back)… I decided to update the BIOS/UEFI on my machine. My CPU was supposed to be compatible with the BIOS version my motherboard was running but I guess it wasn’t actually.
The thing with updating your BIOS is that if your computer has been running for a while it’s generally recommended you don’t update it. Every page you go to, even the page with the motherboard update versions, will tell you to turn back, to not frivolously update your motherboard, you should only update it if you absolutely have to!
They are not clear on what “absolutely having to” means, though. I was having major computer issues, my CPU was supposed to be compatible, but that was the only other thing I could think of that would be causing the issue. I had tried everything else because all the BIOS stuff warns you away from it and there is no list of “if your computer is doing this it might be the motherboard” or at least I couldn’t find one that isn’t vague. So.
On April 24th I updated my BIOS. It was really easy. I have not had a problem since. There is probably a lesson to be learned here about doing the hard, risky-seeming thing earlier in the process—except that they really warn you off of updating the BIOS. I had four months of very stressful and insanity-making troubleshooting, five-and-a-bit months of a computer that would just randomly give up. It sucked. And all because my motherboard company lied, my CPU was definitely not as compatible as they said it was. Despite how much this process sucked I am very pleased that I fixed it. CurseBreaker got CurseBroken. I still put a sticker on her that says she’s cursed, though.
Anyway.
I also learned how to bind books this year! I haven’t done the big-book bindings where you need to sew pages together (and I would like to learn how to do that and how to make hard covers) but I’ve done this simple kind and I really like it. I have ideas for other things I’d like to make into little personal books. I guess I’ll see where it takes me but I made the little yellow book there as a companion piece to a book my sister had me read and it looked so official that when she opened the present she didn’t understand what she was looking at. Graphic design is my passion. Surprisingly easy to do and very fun! I need a better paper slicer, though. I borrowed one for this and it did more ripping than cutting. Most of the hobbies I take on are very satisfying in a tangible way but this is extra satisfying and I’d like to do more of it.
Through the power of friendship I made two booknooks this year (Vin and Steph helped me). The one on the right was more like a puzzle or ikea furniture where it was all clearly labelled and told you where to put what and when. It took the better part of an afternoon but got done in one day. The one on the left was more like building a diorama with little to no real instruction, just a lot of material.
It took several days to assemble and required busting out the hot glue gun. Somehow the makers of this kit expected you to be able to glue plastic pieces and mirrors with white glue. (It definitely worked better than expected on some things but was a mess and meant having to sit there holding pieces together while they cured because if you let go it’d fall apart. The hot glue was necessary to not go insane.) It even makes you put together the wiring yourself, and then has the audacity to not make it clear anywhere what kind of batteries it takes. Overall super happy with how this one came together, I think it looks super cute, but I was not prepared for how hard it would be after the first one.
But now I have two cute little booknooks! I’ve wanted one for years and now I have two and because we built them I also have good memories directly associated with them.
I also finally have a paper koi lantern! I’ve been following the artist, yuumei, since I was a kid—like I followed her when I still used deviantart which was forever ago. I signed up for the mailing list for these who-knows-when and at some point I assumed this project would never reach completion despite how cool it is. People get busy, it is how it is. But then she launched a kickstarter! I backed! And then a kit showed up in the mail!
There’s a really great tutorial video to go with it for assembly. It was really hard at first but once you kind of figure it out it gets a lot easier. The paper is the most gorgeous paper I’ve seen in my life and she looks beautiful when she’s all lit up.
This one feels so weird to finally have. I think I was following the project for at least a decade so it feels surreal for it to be a real thing now. This thing I wanted as a kid/teen that didn’t exist and now does and I still wanted it. It’s also really nice to see that this fully came together for the artist, as well. If you’re interested she has pricing and product photos on her website here (click): Yuumei Art: Koi Lanterns.
And Tumblr is cross with me with the amount of images I want to put in these so I will be making part 3 presently. I'll set up links when I'm done.
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okay so it's been nearly a month since the p!atd concert and the london trip and i've had time to process and i feel like writing it down
first off i'd almost forgotten what it's like to have a mutual obsession with someone. my sister and i discussed the album and the songs and their various meanings to death and enjoyed every second of it.
my sis, before the concert, out of the blue realised what "maggie" meant and suddenly everything made sense. the whole album. it was fucking agonizing actually. sad clown especially. and don't let the light go out. we had seats in the seated portion of the audience but stood up for the entire performance because we wanted increase the percentage of people who stood up for the viva las vengeance songs. and not only because of that, but because the songds are fucking bangers. it fucking hurt my heart to see how few people actually knew those songs. the chick next to me was on her instagram the whole show up to "i write sins", when she took her phone out and filmed the show, then left immediately after. it made me so sad.
besides that the experience was. otherwordly. i sort of left my body there for a minute. i write sins not tragedies felt surreal. i cried so hard i felt i couldn't breathe. and i was in my dad's office, downloading the song on my mp3 player and actually paying for it cause i loved it so much, and arguing about my music taste with him; and i was in the back of the car that is now mine, leaving the big city far away from home, peeling the plastic off the record i'd been trying to find everywhere, and waiting for my turn on the remaining working portable cd player, reading the cover leaflet and feeling carsick but not minding it because there were songs on the album i'd never heard; and i was sitting on my childhood bedroom floor crafting something with my sister and trying to get her to like my new favourite band and failing because i was singing over all my favourite bits; and yet i was there at the O2 arena finding it really difficult to dissociate to THAT song, oscillating between the moment where I was maniacally happy and screaming every word in sync with the crowd and also sobbing and shaking, and visiting the past, while brendon told us he loved us, seeming like he really meant it and it really made him happy (the songs on the album and the music videos say this is what happens and that this is what he loves and craves, but needs to let go of for his own sake), and my sister was there behind me and put her hand on my shoulder as the tears poured down my cheeks and my shoulders shook. just before then brendon had sang nine in the afternoon, which is the equivalent song in meaning to my sister. we were both crying and singing and smiling and happy. i was fucking ecstatic, and close to hyperventilating. it was unbelievably meaningful to me and i'm tearing up just thinking about it.
i went to the second to last panic! at the disco concert ever. i'd been dreaming of that since i was like 12 years old. my sister and i had that mutual dream and we'd never made it a reality until now. and if we'd made it a reality before now it wouldn't have been as special. it would have been fangirling and worshipping at the altar of brendon and now it was. catharsis and like. personal fulfillment. it was a lifelong dream come true at the best possible moment.
#i meant to write about the london trip as well but oh well another time#this is quite long enough#i went to quite the rapture witnessing ophelia and lady of shalott by millais#and the sunflowers#never been to tate before#i miss london so bad already#i wish i could go again this summer#i wanna go to bath too#panic! at the disco#p!atd#viva las vengeance#internal monologue
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Check In
What I Did Today
Actually woke up w/my alarm
Procrastinated getting the day started after waking, but at least I did not hit snooze!
Worked out
Talked to my gym crush...albeit nervously, but I still did it!
Accepted the invitation to the event hosted by the only 2 men I've slept with...then invited a friend...then commenced to trying on what I plan to wear...I hope I don't have a nervous panic reaction and start shaking when talking to one of them like I did last time in a surprise encounter of them *eyeroll*
Worked for about 6 hours on the AlgoExpert videos! This is the longest I've spent on them.
Cooked all my meals, never ordered out, and ate pretty balanced!
Stayed pretty hydrated
Took a walk for 10 minutes after dinner
Got over 10k steps
Did BOTH of my face wash routines
Look at this progress!
What I Learned Today
Hash tables, stacks & queues, strings, & runtimes of their common operations
I can do this!
Feeling
Accomplished; I got a LOT done...more than I thought
Proud of myself; I didn't even need a nap nor did I get hella tired today
A bit more energized now that I'm averaging a bit more hours of rest at night and a little less constant stress...work put a LOT of stress on me...no matter what I did, I always felt like I was being watched or should have done something better, or that I should have been monitoring something that I deployed somewhere
Hopeful that I can keep this up and do better
Grateful that I don't have crazy headaches anymore...slight dizziness...but, I just remind myself to keep pushing through
Takeaways
I'm going to get something like that house in Spain
Don't allow my mind to think negative thoughts
As I have heard throughout my life, I gotta stop being so hard on myself...
How I Got Myself Out of a Rut Today
My friend telling more people I am looking when I am not trying to interview drove me nuts for many reasons: 1) I have a LOT of things lined up that I am PREPPING for!!!, 2) I TOLD him I was not trying to interview right now...MANY TIMES, 3) I would NEVER apply to the places he's volunteering my name for without running past me, 4) This lowers my stock having someone search around for me when I don't want or need them to...After telling him to chill and taking a big sigh, I got to work, because I need to shake this identity off me! LOL If I was prepared, I wouldn't even have aggressions like these! It sounds spoiled, but I hope y'all understand; I appreciate his gesture, but he's deciding to ignore my judgement despite me telling him, and throughout my life I have been trying to show people that I got it and some just don't trust my word, even if I was trying to prove it to them (which I'm not)...
Wasting less time overall
Telling myself it's okay to feel tired and that it was going to be worth it
Goals Completed
Found a therapist
Stopped listening to people worried about their own circumstances and remembering God works on his own time and that I am in no rush...
Got back on the ball
Being kinder to myself and stopping guilting myself if my energy isn't always on 100%
Goals After Today
Strengthen my relationship with God
Understand the main concepts I need to from Interview Cake, AlgoExpert, etc. in 6 months, NOT less than 3
Drop my body fat percentage to Marion Jones, Michaela Cole, or Jade Cargill levels
Consistently fight urge to fill up my time with social media/YouTube
Fully forgive my family & build a great relationship with them
Be more confident & faithful
250 steps/hour & 10k steps/daily consistently
Drink more than 64oz a day consistently
Go on a date with a guy I actually like who actually likes me too
Learn more about my gym crush & get him to ask for my number
Get a house similar to that one in Spain
Update my personal app
#tech#software engineering#software engineer#check in#black in tech#black in the bay#san francisco#silicon valley#engineer#python#black women in tech#algoexpert#interview cake#women in tech#technology#startup#tech company#tech company layoffs#layoff#layoffs#rupaul#mariah#mariah carey#werk#rupauls drag race#salt n pepa
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3/29/24
6:03 a.m
I wrote a lot tonight about a lot of things, if you're here I hope you'll read it all.
Anyways I wanted to say something:
If you're here Elise, if you read every word I wrote, if you watch my videos to see me smile and laugh and check in on me. If you posted about me on Instagram multiple times to communicate with me, which tbh I believe you have done all of this.
I believe you've curated things on fb to tell me a story but who knows. Yet if you did- at least the things in that first paragraph, you are my soulmate.
I know you'd call me for a few minutes every night, I know you'd video chat with me semi regularly. I know you'd sing with me, I know you'd dance with me. I know you'd act silly with me. I know you'd be the one. I know you'd take dance lessons with me. I know we would laugh nonstop. I know we clicked on a whole other level when we were able to talk.
My perception of true love/soulmates is someone who completes you as much as a person can complete another person. I don't expect if we ever ended up together. Everything would be perfect. I know It'd be at some compatibility level like a 90% maybe even more but it would never be 100% not with anyone. Even soulmates. There would be incompatibilities, but they wouldnt be huge. And both people would try their hardest to work together to fulfill the percentage that is missing.
Either way I'll always believe you are my soulmate. That doesn't mean I'm your soulmate. Your husband prob is. Yet I remember the cave man rules thing. I remember how he controlled you. And I mean tbh I couldn't be happy in a relationship like that, you didn't seem happy. I just didn't feel I could make a comment about your life.... idk how you could be happy with cave man rules.
Maybe you worked it out. Maybe he changed. Maybe you agree with him after some hard conversations.... idk.
Idk, anything all i know is if you read every word I wrote, watch my videos and posted about me. And then with everything that happened feb-june. I know you're the one for me.
Maybe I'm just not the one for you.
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decisions
as of writing (the 28th december, A.D. 2023), the steam winter sale is ongoing. the past few nights i have scrolled for cumulative hours. i pick a category, filter to under $10 USD, and note anything that catches my eye. i have spent so much effort researching for my eventual purchase, agonizing over single digit price differentials. it evokes the feeling of browsing at a large thrift store. i sift through mountains of chaff to find candidates. it's absurd when considering the prices of fact: 3 dollars here for a bargain-bin '90s role playing game, 99 cents for an indie there. i wring my hands and sweat over these pitiful sums.
compare this agony to the decisions i make daily concerning food. 99 cents is nothing for a little extra treat. these decisions are made freely, with little care. i never go back and fourth about whether to order this meal or that like i do about sales on steam. the differences in the amount of money paid are the same. the percentage changes, in fact, are smaller, since i will normally spend $50-60 during a steam sale. my food purchases, by comparison, rarely exceed $20, and normally occupy in the vicinity of $10.
so, what makes these two decisions different? why do i get so anxious while video game shopping while deciding what to eat is so breezy?
i don't know exactly what it is, but some things immediately jump out to me:
if i were to spend the same amount of time deciding what to buy at the grocery store as i do deciding what to buy on steam, i would starve to death. the upper limit on decision time is higher for the latter, as steam sales normally last a month, and online shops never close. since i know i can just come back to the decisionmaking later, the pressure to make a quick is gone. in its place is the pressure to make the best decision.
the perceived consequences of a bad decision are greater for video games. with food, if i order something i don't particularly like, i can still choke it down and it'll all be over in just a few minutes. for a video game i find boring or unpleasant, i can either admit defeat and see it staring at me every time i open steam, or i can spend anywhere from a few minutes to dozens of hours forcing myself to soak in that unpleasantness until i've finished the game. both of these options, in my opinion, are far worse than eating a bad meal or the guilt of throwing away half-eaten food. the reader may disagree, but these are my thoughts.
i'm sure if i thought about it longer i'd be able to come up with more possible reasons for this phenomenon, but this is all i've come up with for now. maybe sometime in the future i'll write a follow-up post. if any other explanations spring to mind, please message me with them, and we can discuss.
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Married Men Who Criticize Ladies That Expose Their Bodies Online Always Declare Interest In Their DMs
According to Pride Evy, once a married man goes through a girl’s profile on Instagram and criticizes her for exposing her body, he wants her.
Pride Evy
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Popular Instagram twerker, Pride Evy has opined that married men who chastise women for exposing their bodies on social media still end up messaging them privately to declare interest.
She made this known on the famous Honest bunch podcast which is hosted by popular OAP, Nedu.
According to Pride Evy, once a married man goes through a girl’s profile on Instagram and criticizes her for exposing her body, he wants her.
She added that they would most likely do it in the presence of their wives but as soon as they were gone, they would slide into their DMs.
When asked the percentage of Lagos married men in her DMs, she boldly said about 65% of the entire population in Lagos were messaging her privately.
She further explained how they posted their wife publicly on Instagram and would ask that they go to Snapchat to text so there would be no evidence on the app.
See Video Below;
See Reactions Below;
realonomski said: ”When exposing your body is your job,why won’t the men slide into your dm? You are obviously selling something they want to experiment with”.
misshembe asked: ‘’65percent? Your DM na lekki toll gate? .”
avamwealth said: ”Yes on that part she’s right. My ex husband would curse, bully,body shame a woman when we’re together eating or gisting and the next minute he’s f*cking the same woman especially in the compound we both lived. Since then, whenever a man speaks ill of a fellow woman I don’t believe”.
callmejoan_ wrote: ”Since you wan shake table tell us how many you don see on code for back ”.
Read the full article
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TGIWednesday: Who's mess is this?
TGIWednesday News
A lot of my funny life stories seem to come from working out at LA Fitness and the other day was no exception. The locker rooms have nice tables updated and sleek, but the other day I found no room to sit down on the table to change anything.
One man had littered his racket ball supplies and clothing from one end of the table to the other. That’s right one man. I could not help myself. I looked at him and said, “Let me guess, you were an only child and you’re single right now,” His eyes widened and he said, “How could you possible know that?” I said it’s what I do for a living.
And I moved on to another section of the locker room. For today, let’s be respectful of others - kind, generous, giving and thoughtful. There is plenty of room for all of us “at the table” and it’s ok to share and be respectful of others. Regardless of others actions or reactions, I will remain benevolent, loving and kind.
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I believe, think, know and feel that I can and will be kind to others who are less fortunate than I am. I know, when, where, how and why to be generous in praising others without violating my boundaries or theirs. I am ready, willing and able to speak purposefully, in a kind matter while leaving unrealistic expectations at the door. I am asking in all languages and throughout all time lines and so it is.
Know that if you make a little progress each day that the rest of your life will be the best of your life.
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We’re going to simplify and show you how to get even MORE results out of your fishing and show you how to DECREASE taking on blocks and INCREASE your energetic flow. We will address with finger muscle testing, pendulums and of course standing sway testing.
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