shitty lifehack: sometimes gritting your teeth and grabbing the hot thing out of the toaster oven with your bare hands just long enough to gingerly get it onto your plate is faster and easier than getting the tongs

The Coffeyville Daily Journal, Kansas, April 29, 1896

I never played Life is Strange, does this match up

my two favorite things about cooking in ESO are how

every ingredient is harvested from its own correspondingly named container that will only ever contain that ingredient (i.e. melon baskets have melons, apple baskets have apples, etc). which is already kind of funny but then you realize you can find these named containers already empty, even though they all look identical when empty. like your character walks up to a random empty basket and can immediately tell that that's the Designated Apple Basket

there is an ingredient named "Seasoning" and just. im sorry i can't possibly write a joke about "this is how white people think spices work" that's funnier than the way it's implemented

ESO (along with probably other MMOs) has this enemy aggro system where mobs aggroed onto you will follow you right up until the very edge of the zone... but if you hit them at all while they're far away from their spawn point, they instantly realize that they don't want that smoke, sheath their weapons, do a 180, and start sprinting back home. which is obviously very frustrating in a lot of scenarios but is admittedly kind of funny when like

>try to leave a zone

>get 90% through the door opening animation only to be yanked out of the black screen by a trash mob slapping your ass for 100 damage

>turn around, deal half their health bar with a single cast of your spammable

>"hm. on second thought, never mind."

>leaves

not only are these pics real, the second one in particular was taken within 10 minutes of my childhood home and is an area ive driven through >1000 times

ive never liked the phrase "manmade horrors beyond your comprehension" but i cant think of a better way to describe texas roads

biblically accurate highway

April 28, 2024 - An unintentionally funny video by a zionist propagandist shows off some good organisation and discipline at the UCLA encampment for Palestine.

ive never liked the phrase "manmade horrors beyond your comprehension" but i cant think of a better way to describe texas roads

biblically accurate highway

I know you're joking but my friend actually nearly got killed in a road rage shooting in Houston and I couldn't even be surprised. Houston drivers have gotten MUCH crazier and HPD no longer enforces any traffic laws, period. I had a guy intentionally try to T bone me the other day, I've had cyclists try to blind me with lasers as I was going through traffic lights, it's mad Max esque these days and I feel like a boomer for saying it.

intentional T-boning is obviously insane but i feel like the bikers with blinding lasers is a direct evolutionary response to the lifted F-350s that intentionally roll coal directly on people training for triathlons (not a hypothetical or hyperbole btw). im morbidly curious to see how far this escalates; my current projection is that by 2030 we'll have cyclists throwing flashbangs into open windows like GTA Online

i dont even know what you're talking about half the time but i've been following you longer than my 5th grader has been alive so im staying

haha great joke about how long i've been on h- oh my god wait you aren't even kidding the math checks out im gonna kill myself

This has caused great debate among my math friends so I think it needs tumblr's input

bro how is any city giving you positive nostalgia about HOUSTON?!?! what the fuck they doin in Boston.

parking is so scarce that there's an annual tradition where after the first big snowstorm everyone clears snow out of their assigned/picked spot and then puts a folding chair in said spot to lay claim over it on the basis of the effort they put into shoveling it. moving someone else's chair to park in their spot is on the same level of social faux pas as wiping your ass with your bare hands. if you steal someone's spot they will almost certainly key your car and no witnesses will speak up in your defense because they think you deserve it. people have been shot over this.

at least when im at risk of being shot for my driving in Houston it's over a moving violation

King Cheetah

If you find yourself and a friend being chased by a king cheetah, you have but one chance: Trip your friend. —Suq'Ata wisdom

Artist: Terese Nielsen TCG Player Link Scryfall Link EDHREC Link