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jamiedc-they-them · 3 years

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Forgive me, little sister (Platonic)

SPOILERS FOR ALL OF BLACK WIDOW!!!!!

Requested Imagine: A new threat brings Natasha back to her past, and her two sisters in ways she couldn’t possibly of imagined.

21 years ago, Natasha Romanoff tried to protect her two younger sisters. She had failed, losing you both. She had no idea where you were. The last thing she remembered from her father was that you all needed to look after each other.

Yeah, so much for that.

That, and now she had lost her other family, the avengers. They had split, and she was on the run.

She looked at herself in the mirror. Truly looked at herself, at the emotion she was feeling.

She knew Ross was after her. But she also knew she’d played him. She was good at that, playing people, fucking them over and moving on.

She was an avenger, she was someone doing some good. Now she was on the run once again.

She was alone again, and maybe that was for the better.

“You’re in my bed.” Natasha told Mason. He was good, a friend, probably one of the only ones she had left.

“I’m...I’m not even under the covers.” He said in protest, still groggy.

“Did you get everything on my list?” She asked, moving the conversation onward as quickly as she could.

“Got passports, entry visas, a couple of local driver’s licenses,” He said as he passed them to her, “Mix and match, you should be able to stretch it to 20 or so identities.” He explained.

She skimmed through the names, most joking names. There was one, however, that wasn’t.

The first name of Y/N.

She froze, but quickly caught herself, knowing he would pry, “‘Fanny Longbottom’?” She asked, covering up the moment she had just had with one of the names.

“What?” He asked; good, he hadn’t seen it.

“What are you, 12?”

“That is a legitimate name.” He chuckled as he spoke. He continued on about her new home, “We’ve got a generator outside. It’s petrol-powered. And the septic tank will need a flush in a couple of weeks, but you know, I’ve got a guy coming for that. You’ll have to haul your rubbish into town. It’s just a 20-minute drive. I’ve got your basic hardware kit stashed under the stairs.” He said.

“Nice.” She said, nodding.

However, “Are you ok?” Shit, he had clocked it.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Not the best response, she knew that. Instead of stopping concern, it would only raise it.

“I hear things. You know, something about the Avengers getting divorced…” He paused, wanting for her to continue.

She didn’t want to however, “Ugh. It’s fine. I’m actually better on my own.”

“Are you sure?” He seemed doubtful.

She wasn’t, “Yeah.”

“Because you can tell me, you know. That’s the way this whole friends thing works.”

“I know. I have friends.”

“People who have friends, don’t call me.” Ok, he had a point.

She even gave her next words a thought, before folding her arms and saying, “And I don’t pay you to worry.”

He shook his head, a smile on face but she could tell he was a bit pissed.

He had gone, leaving some things from Budapest before going on his way.

Not a few hours later, so was she, with the generator cutting out. She was on the move, driving, letting her thoughts play around in her mind. She never spoke about you, she knew it would just hurt. The pain she could wash away with her work for SHIELD was possible, the pain of losing you both was something she couldn’t bear to --

BOOM! Her truck sailed through the air before slamming into and nearly off the side of the bridge.

“You should know I’m a better shot when I’m pissed off.” She proved that when she fired her pistol, all shots were going towards her newest target, but a shield blocked them all. The shield was then lowered, showing the mask of...well, someone. As she went to shoot again, the shield was thrown, it slammed into the car, just missing her.

Christ, and she thought Steve was powerful with his throws.

She was out, looking to where the person was, only now to find them gone. She looked around, nothing. She looked behind her, nothing.

She then looked up, something; the figure jumping off of the truck. She fired, the shots hitting the shield yet again. Her gun was then gone from her hand, she wrapped herself around this new person, trying to flip them only to have that countered. She looked over, seeing the new attacker not do anything but wait. She cocked her head to the side...was he watching her actions?

She flipped herself up, in her pose on the floor, only to see it mimicked. With the code that went along with the visor, yeah she was getting the idea now.

The figure then looked at the truck. He wasn’t after her, but the vials. She ran at him with her knife, only to have it blocked as he spun around at inhuman speeds and dodged her other blows, hitting her with one of his own.

She was pinned to the floor, foot on her arm and hand grabbing her hair. She was punched, hard, in the chest. She sailed through the air and slammed into the ground. She needed a moment to catch her breath, she knew it would bruise.

Looking up again, she saw the figure about to grab the box, but her grapple put a stop to that as she hung him from his leg. She was quick, but he was quicker. She dodged the blade he held as he swung it down with the momentum from his swing on the rope. She grabbed his shield, blocking the shots. She swung the box, only for him to grab it, then kick her against the car and send her down to the river.

The box, however, was empty.

Natasha pulled herself to land, holding the vials that glowed a bright red. However, in between the vials lay a photo. She pulled it free, it was a picture she thought she had lost.

It was a picture of you, Natasha, and Yelena.

“Oh, shit.” She cursed. But, then something clicked; she couldn’t save you, you were gone, but...Mason had said someone new had moved into her old place in Budapest.

You were gone, but maybe...maybe Yelena wasn’t, maybe she’d take the vials; maybe she’d know what to do with them.

It was a family reunion she didn’t want to have, but fate seemed to have other plans.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When you were taken, you were 5 and Yelena was 6. Now, you were dead and Yelena was alive. It wasn’t fair, she knew that, she knew that it should’ve been the oldest first to go. She’d have gladly done that, given her life if it meant you would’ve lived.

But, life wasn’t fair, she knew that too. A harsh truth, but one she knew was true all the same. It was what brought her here, what brought her to now. What brought her to getting off the train, donning more civilian mission gear, walking through the streets of Budapest, keeping her head down, just hoping she could get this over and done with.

Everything was changing, and yet everything was coming back, everything was going back to how it was; the reluctant hero on a quest that would bring some sort of redemption, the hero on the run from (in this case) her past being forced to face it instead of run from it.

A chance to maybe, just maybe, actually wipe the ledger, actually make up for some sins.

The Avengers was an idea, a nice idea but just an idea; the red room was a reality, one she lived. The Avengers was like an antithesis to that, a place with hope and...maybe...maybe fa--

“I know you’re out there.” Well, so her hunch was proven right.

“I know you know I’m out here.” Natasha said, trying to seem on top of the situation that was now spiraling. She pulled her pistol from her back pocket.

She opened the door, being met with the familiar place. Gun raised, she put her foot to the door and closed it. She wasn’t taking any chances.

“Then why are you skulking around like it’s a minefield?” Yelena asked, her voice echoing around the apartment.

“Because I don’t know if I can trust you.” At that, Yelena chuckled.

“Funny, I was going to say the same thing.” Natasha kept moving, checking every corner.

She put herself against the wall, “So, we gonna talk like grown-ups?” When she turned the corner, her mirror was there. This time, one she knew, one she recognised. Yelena.

“Is that what we are? As if I recall, we aren’t all grown ups, Natasha?” Nat knew Yelena was trying to get a rise out of her, to get a reaction.

As said before, Natasha didn’t really want this meeting to happen.

Natasha moved forward, Yelena backward; the two moved in sync. The once innocent nature of the mirroring from when you three hung upside down was gone. Now it was tension, and two guns pointing at each other with no grins, but instead untrusting eyes.

“Put it down before I make you.” Yelena threatened, voice cold.

“You put yours down.” Natasha’s voice mirrored Yelena’s; cold.

Yelena moved back, trying to suppress the flinch when she hit the door frame, eyes still locked firmly on Natasha.

“Watch your step.” The older sibling said in ‘warning’.

Yelena chuckled softly, the two now in the kitchen, guns equidistant from each other.

In an instant, both swapped guns, dancing around each other like clockwork. Natasha did the first blow this time, disarming Yelena before trying to punch her; Yelena was faster, going behind Natasha and grabbing her arm before slamming her into the doorway, one side, then the other.

Natasha slapped Yelena’s arm down, putting her hand around Yelena’s throat and charging, sending Yelena into the cabinets before her head into the sync, body all on the table, “Stay down. Stay down.” Natasha said, eyes wide as she gave her order and Yelena struggled.

She just wanted to talk.

What she got, instead, was a plate to the face. She then grabbed the kitchen cloth, wrapping it around Yelena’s throat in an attempt to end it there, but Yelena was always a fighter, slamming her foot into the sink to push herself backwards and throw Natasha into the door, shattering some of the glass.

The fight turned, Yelena grabbing a knife. The knife was swung multiple times, each time a miss; the knife was then out of Yelena’s possession with a kick from Natasha, but she was then grabbed and slammed into the wall. Natasha grabbed the curtain, ripping on it and pulling it down, it then went over Yelena’s neck, but that gesture soon included Natasha.

Both fell to the ground, choking and putting their feet against each others chest to try make the overpass out first --

“Truce.” She said in Russian, hands leaving the curtain and going up. She wasn’t killing her.

Yelena gasped, ripping the curtain off of her neck, “You’ve grown up.” Natasha said in their native tongue, actually looking at Yelena fully for the first time since her entry to her old place of residence.

“No shit.” Was Yelena’s response.

The pair moved to the bedroom, Natasha changing and Yelena packing her own clothes, “I don’t wanna be here. I’m on the run. You could’ve gotten me killed.” Natasha said, stopping her action and making sure herself and Yelena met eyes as she said her words.

“Well, what was I supposed to do? You're the only superhero person that I know. Y/N is dead, and it’s just us.” Yelena saw the marks on Natasha’s back as her shirt was removed, she slowed her speech down a bit at the sight of the markings before she continued, “That was the whole reason I sent it to you. I kept checking the news, expecting to see Captain America bringing down the Red Room.” Yelena left the room.

Natasha kept packing, before the words finally hit her and she paused, registering them, “What? Taking down the Red Room? What are you talking about? It’s been gone for years. Dreykov’s dead. I killed him.” She seemed to be going down a list (ironically) in an attempt to make herself believe that her work was done. As she spoke, she followed Yelena to the armory room, watching Yelena as she packed.

“You don’t actually believe that, do you?” Yelena asked, with genuine astonishment in her voice, “You really do believe that…” Her eyes shone with what Nat read as amusement.

Still, the woman doubled down, “Dreykov’s dead. It took almost destryong the entire city just to get to him.”

“If you’re so sure, then tell me what happened. Tell me, exactly.”

So, for once, she was honest; she told her about the bombs and about Clint. She told her about the mission, the one that got her into SHIELD, that got her to start again; that got her to move on.

But, just like seeing Yelena again, smoke entered the room as the roof exploded. The two took cover in different places, but Yelena knew who it was. Natasha grabbed Yelena as she entered the bathroom, the younger woman turning a switch that sent the lamps off, allowing them to get past their newest friends. Outside, more shots rang out, clipping the wall. The two ran across the hallway, barely dodging the bullets that were fired.

They ran across the roof, going to a funnel and kicking it off, as they did, one of the attackers jumped over, almost dragging Nat down with her, a knife from the woman struck Nat, lowering her on the funnel even more. Yelena grabbed her hand, “I got you.” She assured her.

She didn’t, as it slammed into the adjacent building, causing Nat to fall and Yelena to go through the window. The widow crashed onto the floor, struggling to stand before she faced her attacker who was bleeding out.

She paused, one widow looking at another. She tried to help, she tried to help the woman who had been stuck in the hell she was in.

Natasha was forced to watch as the woman, with no agency in the matter, shot herself; skin charged on one side of her face as the blood seeped into the water.

“How many others?” Natasha asked, now understanding it all.

“Enough.” Was the answer Nat received.

They ran down the street, getting onto Yelena’s bike as an armored truck crushed cars on its way down the street and towards them. Natasha stepped on it, taking them forward with as much power as the bike could muster.

They weaved their way through the traffic, only to go sailing over the side of a low wall and into the oncoming traffic. Yelena was quick, robbing a man of his car.

Now, in the car, the pair drove, while another widow chased behind them. Then, in the mirror, Natasha saw him, the masked man this time holding a bow and arrow.

Shit, it seemed whoever he was, he was learning from Clint, Steve...everyone.

Natasha only had a few seconds to react after Yelena had taken care of the widow, the pair being sent into the air with an explosive arrow and the car slamming into everything on its way down into the station.

Natasha crawled out first, running over to the side of the younger woman, who was now bleeding. On instinct, Yelena went to cover up the wound, but Natasha stopped her; she knew a bloodhound, and she knew how to deal with them.

They hid in the vents, with Yelena then being able to start to cover up her wound. They watched as the masked individual entered where the blood trial was going to lead.

“Who the hell is that guy?” Natasha asked, now having a moment to breathe.

“Dreykov’s special project. He can mimic anyone he’s ever seen. It’s like fighting a mirror. Dreykov only deploys him for top-priority missions --” Yelena’s explanation was cut off by Nat.

“This doesn’t make any sense.”

“Well, the truth rarely makes sense when you omit key details.” That was blunt.

Nat looked at Yelena coldy, “What is that supposed to mean?”

“You didn’t say one word about Drekov’s daughter. You killed her.” The younger woman guessed.

“You haven’t mentioned Y/N, last I saw the two of you were together.” Nat knew it was harsh, but she said it anyway.

Yelena paused, and there was a look in her eyes, one of pain, “They trained us together for a while, then she got sent away.”

“How long ago was that?” Nat asked, pushing for more.

Yelena’s eyes returned to distrust and coldness, “I asked about Dreykov’s daughter.”

Nat internally sighed, she knew she’d only get so much, “I had to. I needed her to lead me to Dreykov…” Nat let herself relive that memory.

It was later, and the pair were at a bar, letting themselves have one moment to relax. As they drank, Nat couldn’t help but think of her earlier question, “Was Y/N any different in the room?” Yelena looked over at her at the question, having previously been looking at a local family in a shop, “Did she...change?”

Yelena scoffed, “Of course she did, she’s Y/N, the brave girl who gets back up and adapts. You know, sometimes...despite her being the youngest, felt like she was the most mature.” She chuckled a bit.

Nat did too, “Yeah, always reading and coming up with stories.” It was a rare moment for the two to get along, but here it was.

It moved onto birth parents, “They destroyed my birth certificate, so I reinvented it. My parents still live in Ohio. My older sister moved out west, and the youngest stayed with us.”

“Is that right?” Nat asked with a smile.

“You’re a science teacher. You’re working part-time, though, especially after you had your son. Your husband, he renovates houses.”

“That is not my story.” The two chuckled.

“Maybe, but I’d like to think it would be Y/N’s if she had the choice. If we got to live. If we were normal.”

“What did you make her?” Nat asked, voice softening a little.

Yelena smiled softly as she spoke, “An author, writing a series about a group of children who come from a bad place, but make the best out of it...she was best selling, knew all the right cards to play and tricks to use. We taught them to her, and she used them in her own way.”

The conversation moved on; with Nat offering for Yelena to come with her after Dreykov.

Now they just needed to find where the room was.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Natasha drove them, as Yelena played with her vest, “You know, this is the first piece of clothing I’ve ever bought for myself?”

Nat quickly looked over before heading back to the road, “That?”

“...Yeah, you don’t like it?” Yelena asked, semi self conscious of her purchasing decision.

“Is that like a...Is it army surplus, or…”

“Ok, it has a lot of pockets,” Natasha’s chuckling did not help her internal anxiety, “But I use them all the time, and I made some of my own modifications. Y/N even gave me some things to help make it look cool.” She stopped herself, scoffing, “Whatever.” She said, looking out to the road and the world.

Natasha once again chuckled, “Shut up. The point is, I’ve never...I’ve never had control over my own life before, and now I do. I want to do things, things that Y/N would have wanted to do.”

Natasha did a quick glance over before she smiled, “Hm. I like your vest.” She admitted.

“I knew it. I knew you did. It’s so cool, right?” Yelena internally cheered, validation was a hell of a thing.

“It’s good. Yes, I like it.” Natasha repeated.

“And you can put so much stuff in there. You wouldn’t even know,” She reached into one of the pockets, “Like, here, look,” Nat did for a moment, seeing a necklace, “Y/N gave this to me on one of our first missions. I kept it hidden for so long....I meant to give it back to her, but…”

“Why was she sent away?”

Yelena sighed, playing with the necklace, “I don’t know, Dreykov seemed to like her for whatever reason. I think between her and myself, she was better, but I was older. Then she got sent away, on a mission apparently, and died on it. Now I keep it as a thing to keep her close to me.”

“How did you feel when he told you?”

“I don’t know, I didn’t really feel anything. But…” She paused, feeling her eyes start to well up, “Now…”

Natasha reached over with one hand, before pulling it back; she wasn’t sure how to take it either, “I’m sorry, Yelena, about Y/N…” She meant it, even if it was a short sentence.

“I know, I’m sorry that I don’t know where the room is.” Yelena seemed to mean it too.

“I know,” Natasha soothed, “But I think I might know someone who does. We just need a jet.”

They didn’t get one, they got a shitty chopper instead. However, as Malcom defended it, he could’ve done better with time and money; two things Nat didn’t have at the moment.

Still, it would have to do. She needed to find the room, she needed to end this. She needed for it to be worth something.

She needed to know she could stop someone else losing their youngest sis-

No, they were adopted, they weren’t fully a family, just a cover.

Well, whether it be dear old dad or Alexei, it was the man who could get them to the room; that was all that mattered to Nat, the room.

So, they got him outside, only for him to then be chased by what looked to be a horde of prisoners, some of whom wanted Alexei, and some who wanted to get out, and some who wanted to kill the guards.

So, all in all, a shitshow, a very loud shitshow. A bunch of angry men shooting and punching each other, maybe she was home afterall.

Still, business needed to be done. She leapt out, landing in her usual pose, ignoring Yelena’s “You are such a poser” comment in her earpiece. And, well, she got to work, kicking and sprinting, using the environment to her advantage as she threw the hook she came down into a guard, then grabbing it and swinging with it to kick another one.

There was a close call, however, when the chopper nearly took Natatsha’s head off. Standing up, the chopper came down so she could see Yelena, “Seriously? What are you doing? Are you kidding me? Back up?” She exclaimed, using her batons as if she worked at an airport to help a pilot.

Yelena lifted up her thumb, “We’re both doing a really good job!” She got back to it, taking off once again. When she had it steady, she grabbed Natasha’s phone which was left on the seat, taking some photos of the mountain. That moment was then interrupted by Machine Gun fire slamming into the chopper and causing holes to appear.

Fuck it, she’d had enough; standing up, and simply walking to her desired object, she grabbed a rocket launcher and sat by the open door, firing the rocket and sending it at the man who was peppering her new ride with holes, “Ha!” She scoffed as she watched the building crumble.

As she sat back down, her eyes caught something else, “Whoa!” She exclaimed, taking more photos of the approaching avalanche, “This would be a cool way to die.” She chuckled, eyes bright with life and excitement.

She brought the chopper back round, just barely getting the two out. She did, however, celebrate quietly to herself with the success, putting the phone back where it was but making sure the photos were backed up. How was there signal? No idea, she was just glad there was.

“I need some help up here!” Yelena called to her sister, who went over to do just that, putting on the headset as the two continued to fly. Alexei spoke, but neither heard it.

He understood pretty quickly, putting the headset on himself, “Wow,” That happiness he had was stopped when Yelena’s fist slammed into his face, “Ok,” He said, groaning after he let out a string of exclamations in russian, “Why the aggression, huh? Is it your time of the month?”

“I don’t get my period, dipshit. I don’t have a uterus --” Yelena explained.

“Or ovaries.” Natasha added.

“--Yeah. That’s what happens when the Red Room gives you an involuntary hysterectomy. They kind of just go in and they rip out all of your reproductive organs. They just get right in there and they chop them all away. Everything out, so you can’t have babies --”

“Ok, ok. Ok! Ok! You don’t have to get so clinical and nasty!” Alexei exclaimed, sitting in the seat in the back, raising his voice more and more.

“Oh, well I was about to talk about fallopian tubes, but ok. Y/N loved that one.”

“No...Where is Y/N?” Alexei asked, looking between his two daughters.

Yelena’s face once again went cold, despite the pang she felt inside, Natasha looked out the window.

“...Oh.” Alexei’s face genuinely dropped, “Y/N...Oh.” He took a moment, letting himself look at his tattoo with your name on, before going back to his two remaining daughters, “It means so much to me that you came back for me.”

“No. No, you’re gonna tell us how to get to the Red Room.”

Alexei immediately recomposed and scoffed, “Whoa, look at you, huh? All business.”

“Trust me, this isn’t pleasure.”

“Little Natasha, all indoctrinated into the Western agenda.”

“I chose to go west to become an Avenger. Because they treated me like family.”

“Really? Family? Well, where are they now?” Yelena looked to Natasha, genuine emotion in her eyes, “Where is that family now?”

Gone, “Tell me where the Red Room is.” Natasha demanded.

“I have no idea.” Dammit, “Ok?”

Natasha ripped off her headset, sitting opposite him, “Come on. You and Dreykov were like --”

“Dreykov?!” Alexei sounded anything but happy by the name.

“Yeah.”

“General Dreykov, my friend, huh? Give me glory...Soviet Union’s first and only super soldier. I could have been more famous than Captain America. Then he buries me in Ohio on that stupid mission. Three years! So tedious, boring me to tears,” Alexei saw the emotion, the slight hurt that was in Yelena’s eyes, “No offense, huh?” He said; she knew he didn’t mean it, “Then puts me in prison for the rest of my life. Why, huh?” He continued with, “Why? Why would he put me in… You know why? Because maybe I want to talk about the withering of the sate. Or maybe I don’t like his hair or something and I say something casually about that. Maybe, you know, I want the Party to feel actually like a party instead of this sourpuss organization. But, instead, no. He puts me in prison for the rest of my life. He just runs off and hides, huh? I’m not even the one who, uh, you know…” He pointed to Nat, “I’m not the one who killed his daughter.

Yelena had heard enough; she knew what she wanted to say to him about you, but she decided, “Can we throw him out the window now?” Instead.

“I think we should wait till we get to a higher altitude.”

“Right.” She agreed.

The talk then turned when he mentioned Melina, the mother.

She was still alive, and she knew where the room was.

Despite herself, Yelena hoped, based on Alexei's words.

“You can’t kill a fox that swift.” Part of her hoped it would be the same for you.

They made it, by making it they dropped out of the sky and the chopper slammed into the ground through the lack of fuel.

So, all in all, they made it, even if just about.

“What is with this tension?” Alexei asked as the three walked to greet the last, alive, remaining member of the family, “Did I do something wrong?” He asked.

Yelena rubbed her head, “Is that a serious question?” She threw back at him.

“I only ever loved you girls. I did my best to make sure you would succeed, to achieve your full potential, and everything worked out.”

“Everything worked out?” Natasha asked in genuine astonishment for his claim.

“Yes, for you, yes. We accomplished our mission in Ohio,” He turned to his now youngest, “Yelena, you went on to become the greatest child assassin the world has ever known. No one can match your efficiency, your ruthlessness…” He paused.

And then Yelena dropped it, “Y/N could. She matched me. She surpassed me.”

Alexei’s face changed, his eyes dropped from hers, his fire gone for a moment, “Y/N makes me proud.”

Yelena’s eyes widened, there was life in them instead of pain and nothing at the tense, “‘Makes’?” She asked, voice soft, hopeful even.

Alexei’s eyebrows furrowed, “Where you not told...Oh, little Yelena, Y/N was brought into a different fold of the programme.”

“She’s alive?” Natasha asked, drawing Alexei’s gaze to her instead.

He nodded, before he went on with his speech before, “And Natasha, not just a spy, not just toppling regimes, destroying empires from within, but an Avenger. You all have killed,” He grabbed both their hands, “So many people. Your ledgers must be dripping, just gushing red. I couldn’t be more proud of you.” He brought them in for a hug, both daughters squirming at hug, both their minds internalising the idea that you weren’t dead, but alive.

Natasha fought him off, scoffing and walking away; Yelena was next, telling him to wash.

“Y/N was alive this whole time?” Yelena asked, turning to her older sister as they walked.

“Apparently so,” She answered, before looking at Alexei, “How long have you known?”

“For as long as I thought you had.” He said, sounding genuine.

“I thought she was dead. I thought she died.” Yelena found herself with that repetition, but didn’t change it. Natasha looked to her, seeing her trying to hide it all away.

Alexei went to Yelena’s side, trying to give her some comfort, but Yelena slivered out of it. He took the signal, going back to Natasha’s side.

They had found Melina, but she looked anything but happy to see her family. Instead, she only took them to her house.

Yelena went to the living room, putting a hand on the chair, seeing the normal dinner table, the family meals they could’ve had. The way they could’ve had a family.

The way you could've sat with them right now, helping them. It made her squeeze the chair a bit, before she merely sat down, letting the idea of the normal family life take her for a moment; you being a writer, Nat a science teacher.

As they all sat, Alexei revealed himself in his suit; he was back, in his eyes.

“Family back together again.” Alexei said, allowing this moment of genuine pleasure to occur.

Yelena cleared her throat, “Y/N isn’t here.”

Alexei nodded, smile dimming a bit, “She will be soon, then we can do this again with her. Right now, she is here in spirit.” He assured Yelena.

“Seeing as our family construct was just a calculated ruse that only lasted three years, I don’t think we can use this term anymore, can we?” Melina’s words were blunt, and hit Yelena hard.

“Agreed. So, here’s what’s gonna happen…” As Nat went to speak, Alexei reached over and grabbed some food

“A reunion then, huh? And, uh...I want to say something right off the bat,” He caressed Melina’s hand, “You haven’t aged a day, huh? You’re just as beautiful and as supple as the day they staged our marriage.”

Yelena downed the shot, “You got fat,” As did Nat as Melina continued, “But still good.”

Nat quickly diverted them off their flirtations, “So, here’s what’s gonna happen --”

“Natasha, don’t slouch.” Melina interrupted with.

She looked at her posture, “I’m not slouching.” She defended.

“Yes, yes you are.”

“I don’t slouch.”

“You’re going to get a back hunch.”

Alexei reached over and made her straighter, “Listen to your mother.”

“Oh, my god, this…”

Again, Alexei interrupted Natasha, “Up, up.”

“Alright, enough. All of you!” She was stern in her demand.

Yelena, who had been silent during the exchange, only looked between everyone before back to Natasha, “I didn’t say anything. That’s not fair.”

“Here’s what’s gonna happen --” Nat was getting annoyed now.

“I don’t want any food.” Yelena said.

“Eat a little something, Yelena, for God’s sake.” Melina said. It took everything in Yelena to just down her shot. She thought of you, that helped her.

Like Alexei said, once they got you out of the Room, you could all be a family again.

“Hey! You’re gonna tell us the location of the Red Room.” Natasha demanded from Melina, who inhaled to stop a chuckle but her lips were upturned.

“You know, it’s like when you told them that they could stay up late to catch Santa Claus.”

“What? That was fun. You know, ‘He comes down the chimney, girls. Look out. Where is he?’ You wait for him, and then when the cookies are gone, then you see he’s there. No, no. What? I want them to follow their dreams --”

“No good.” Melina said.

“-- Reach for the star, girls.” Yelena shook her head, trying to keep silent but hoping for it to calm down.

“Finding Dreykov is not a fantasy. It’s unfinished business.” Natasha said, getting back on topic.

“You can’t defeat a man who commands the very will of others. You never saw the culmination of what we started in America.” At that, Melina called in a pig, making it stop breathing with an app on her pad.

Yelena gulped as she heard what Melina was going on about. Natasha caught the look in Yelena’s eyes.

That kept going as Melina spoke about controlling free will, but it shattered at Natasha’s proclamation that it was never real.

“What?” Yelena asked, voice trembling ever so slightly.

“That wasn’t real. Who cares?”

“Don’t say that. Please don’t say that. It was real.” Natasha stopped, rubbing her nose with her thumb, she saw the genuine hurt on Yelena’s face, the emotion she was struggling to hold back.

“It was real to me,” Yelena turned to Melina, “You are my mother. You were my real mother. The closest thing I ever had to one. Y/N was mine -- our,” She corrected, looking Natasha as her voice cracked, “Little sister. The best part of my life was fake, and none of you told me?” She hit the table as she exhaled, it all coming out now, “And those agents you chemically subjugated around the globe? That was Y/N and me. Mmm,” She looked to Natasha with pain, hurt, anger, “And you, you got out. Dreykov made sure no one could escape. Are you going to say anything? No,” Yelena went to touch her, bring some comfort but was rejected, “Don’t touch me.” She spat, grabbing the bottle of alcohol and walked away from the table.

Time had gone by, Alexei going to comfort Yelena, as Natasha went to the armory to get her weapons to go to the Red Room on her room.

“I always found it best not to look into the past.” Melina’s hypocrisy wasn’t lost on Natasha. The woman grabbed the book that was on the shelf, the one she was told to leave when they were taken.

“Then why’d you save this?” She opened it, seeing the pictures of the three of you through your childhood; three, genuinely, happy children full of life and love. The way there was a day where you went through all the seasons and holidays to make your childhood normal.

Natasha looked to her mother, the only one she’d known. She looked back at the photos; she remembered the way she was aware, but you and Yelena weren’t; to you, it wasn’t a fantasy, but was real.

You had a family, people who loved you and you loved back.

Natasha looked back to Melina, handing her the photo book, she let a tear fall. She let herself have this moment of grief for a childhood lost.

Mason was right, if she had friends why call him.

She looked to her mother, and smiled. She was done running from her family. She had a member of it to save.

Melina nodded, being able to read her daughter’s mind.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Natasha was in, the mask was working. She just had to play the role. That was ok though, she knew her mother well enough, they were similar in a lot of ways. One thing though, there was no sign of you yet.

Then again, you were 5 when you were taken, and Natasha looked a lot different from when she did then; so she knew finding you would be difficult. Time changes people, both inside and out.

Still, find Dreykov, kill him and stop the programme, then find you.

That was the plan. You were getting out of this programme, that was a fact. She wasn’t leaving her family behind. She wasn’t leaving her little sister behind. Not after all these years. There was too much to say.

And she had little time to get it all done. Status quo, really.

The mask was taken off, “Welcome home.” Dreykov greeted. Taskmaster raised his weapon, ready to use it. Dreykov, however, put up his hand, “Now, now. Don’t go breaking my new toy,” He then turned back to his esteemed guest of honour, “Is this your plan?” He asked.

“My plan is to kill you.” She was blunt, she was fearless.

“I’m alive. So, what do we do now?”

“What was my mother’s name?” She asked, a simple question.

He leant back, “Ah...Where we buried her, there was a tree...a pink blossom. Beautiful. And there was a tombstone with her name engraved on it. What was her name? Ah…” He chuckled, “‘Unknown.’”

Natasha, stung, shook her head, “You don’t feel anything? You feel anything when I killed your daughter?”

“Is this your haunted past?” He asked, before laughing, “Thank you, Natasha,” He approached Taskmaster, “You gave me my greatest weapon.” He put his hand on Taskmaster, a sign.

Taskmaster put his hand on his pad on his arm, tapping a button. His helmet started to open, the visor coming up first revealing the eyes. Then the helmet came off.

Taskmaster was a she, not he. Natasha’s eyes widened.

Even after all this time, even after all the time apart, she knew who it was.

Y/N. Her little sister.

“Yes, Natasha. When you killed my daughter, I decided to punish you by taking your youngest of your flock, turning her into my asset,” He gestured to your eyes, “Look at her eyes, at the hatred she holds for you. I didn’t teach her that, your abandonment of her did it for you.” He looked to her again and approached her, She fights just like all of your friends. So, how else to break you, for your betrayal, than to watch your little sister kill all your family.”

He looked to you and nodded. The helmet went back on.

“Y/N --” Nat tried to reach for you, but you kept walking.

He laughed again, “What will you do, apologise? She’s been alone for so long now, she won’t go back to you. She is alone, just as you are.”

You were then gone from the room.

Yelena was running, darting through halls to get the cure for the widows. She ran, knowing her sister was in danger. Throwing it into the office that used to hold Dreykov, it exploded, freeing the widows.

Yelena went to her sister, “Are you alright?” She asked, helping Natasha to a pilar to lean on as she reset her shoulder.

“Y/N...she’s Taskmaster.” Yelena grabbed Natasha’s hand in fear.

“...What?” She was breathless.

“We’re getting her out of here.” She promised her younger sister.

Said sister nodded with determination, “Damn right, we are.”

Natasha had found you, locked in a cell by your parents. The place was coming down, but she still slowed her approach, putting her hand on the glass that you then punched, “Y/N, calm down. Y/N! I’m getting you out of here, alright? I’m here, I’m here. I’m right here. I’m here, little sister.” She said the last bit in russian.

She unlocked the cell, you taking your exit. As you both stared at each other, two sisters united after such a long time, an explosion knocked you both in different directions as the structure started to fail more and more.

Yelena was determined to stop Dreykov, to make him pay for the pain he had caused yourself and your sister, for everyone in the Red Room.

“NO!” Natasha exclaimed as she saw what Yelena was going to do, to jam her stick into the engine to bring it down.

“This has been fun! Tell Y/N I love her.” With that, Yelena slammed it in, and the explosion sent her backwards.

Natasha didn’t even think, she just grabbed the chute and leapt after Yelena, free falling and making herself as aerodynamic as possible.

Yelena came to, realising she wasn’t dead, but instead falling. She looked up just as Natasha reached her, deploying the chute.

“Natasha, no --” Now it was reversed in terms of their roles.

“I’m getting Y/N, back.”

“No, she’ll hurt you --” She didn’t want to see either sister hurt.

“She won’t, as I won’t fight her, I’ll free her.”

“With what?” Yelena asked, tears in her eyes.

“With this.” At ‘this’ she held out another tube of the cure. She then kicked off, going down, ignoring Yelena’s gaze and cries out of her name.

She held onto a piece of debris, watching you approach, your sword cutting into the thing as you crashed into Natasha, the two of you slamming through another piece and right into the ground, the two of you rolling and groaning as you did.

Slowly, the two of you rose, “Y/N...I’m not fighting you.” She said, watching as you tried your sword, but it was broken.

You ran at her, fists up; but now your fighting had changed, it was raw, not calculated; it was emotional rather than logical.

You were using anger, she was using love, concern to motivate her moves, yours was anger and hatred, and a lack of control.

She flipped you over, hitting the switch on your arm for your helmet to come off.

You were on the floor, getting up for one more run. She just had to time it.

You got up --

You ran --

Closer --

CRACK! The tube cracked open, sending you back with the chemical mist hitting you.

Slowly, Natasha crawled to you, “Y/N?” She asked, hearing nothing she tapped you on the cheek, “Come on, Y/N. Come on.” She begged.

A cough left you. Then another. Then you opened your eyes, and your sister pressed her head against yours.

“Natasha?” You asked, voice raw after what she’d assume was years of disuse.

“It’s me.” Was all she said, but it was enough as you hugged her, sobs leaving you.

“I’m sorry.” You cried. She kissed you on the head.

“We need to find Yelena.” Natasha said, slowly helping you up.

“She -- she’s here? She came for me”? You asked as Natasha put an arm around your shoulder and supported you.

“Of course she did. We’re all here.”

“...Mother and father?” Your voice cracked as more tears started to go down your cheeks.

She nodded, feeling herself going misty eyed, “We’re all here.”

You found Yelena, upside down. She smiled when she saw Natasha, but then her eyes met you and that smile grew, “...Y/N…” It was a breath of relief, of happiness and love.

“Forgive me, little sister’s, I should’ve come back for you.” Natasha said. Before the words Yelena wanted to hear, “It was real to me too.”

That was how your parents found you, the three of you hugging.

You were together again. You were family again.

Now she just had her avengers one to fix next...

#black widow x reader #black widow imagine #yelena belova x reader #yelena belova imagine #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff imagine

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babymetaldoll · 3 years

Text

Danger days - Chapter two: "I'm the kinda that you wanna"

Pairing: Matthew Gray Gubler x OC + My Chemical Romance.

Word count: 5.5K

Summary: Joey faces MCR after their awful first meeting. Matthew supports whatever she decides to do with her life. Gerard is still kind of an asshole, and Frank tries his best to be a better person.

Warnings: Cursing.

A/N: WOW!! I can't believe you are actually reading this!! thank you for the love!! I was gonna post this tomorrow, but... here it is.

Masterlist

::: Los Angeles, October 14th, 2010 :::

Mikey ate his breakfast alone, sitting at the kitchen island. He was thinking about the daily schedule, the band's upcoming tour, and clearly, the severe problems in his marriage, the one subject he kept trying to avoid.

His wife was still asleep, and he didn't want to be around when she woke up. He knew it only meant another fight. Whenever they were in the same room, it always meant an argument, and Mikey was tired of it all.

It was clear they had to get a divorce, but neither of them had brought it up just yet.

He and Alicia had grown apart in the latest months. It was hard with him touring for so long and his wife staying home, persuading her own future in the music industry. And after so much time apart, they were both tired of trying. It just wasn't working anymore.

Frank and Ray were staying at the same hotel. They drove together to the practice studio, doing their best to agree on their ideas about Joey. But they weren't really on the same page at all.

- "Just don't be an ass, ok?"- Ray said when he parked outside the studio, and Frank immediately lit a cigarette.

- "Yeah, whatever,"- Toro got out of the car and closed the door, staring at his friend leaning against the wall to smoke alone- "I'll be right there."

Iero grabbed his phone and read the messages in a vague attempt to think of anything else. But that didn't help at all; Joey parked her car just before him that very second.

- "Shit!"- the two of them said at the same time. Frank put on his dark sunglasses, and Joey grabbed all her things from the passenger seat.

- "I can't catch a break!"- she argued as she opened the door and decided to get over the horribly awkward moment- Hey!- she smiled and waved as Frank nodded- "How are you?"

- "Good, you?"

- "Good..."- and it was still awkward- "So, thank you for inviting me again,"- and Frank nodded again, not saying a word- "I'll... head... inside then."

Joey tried to smile, but it was too uncomfortable to bear. So she ran away.

- "Did you catch the game last night?"- Mikey asked as he sipped his coffee, while Ray grabbed a guitar and started tuning it.

- "No, I played video games until late."

- "What are you playing?"

- "Red dead redemption"

- "Cool, and Christa?"

- "She's back home with her parents,"- Ray kept turning the guitar and never noticed Mikey's sad face- "And Alicia?"

- "She's home. She was sleeping when I left."

- "Is everything ok?"

- "Yeah"- and again, Ray was so concentrated on his guitar, he didn't catch a glimpse of Mikey's sad look.

- "Hello"- Joey walked in, and the two guys smiled- "Am I too early?"

- "No, you are just on time,"- Ray stood up and grabbed a cup of coffee- "I got you this."

- "Oh! thank you!"- Joey was surprised by the gesture- "You shouldn't have."

- "I owed you,"- Toro kind of blushed as Joey held the cup and took a sip.

- "Black, no sugar. How did you know?"

- "I didn't know if you liked cream, and I got a lot of sugar on a side"- Ray quickly answered and showed Joey a bunch of sugar bags on a tray.

- "You nailed it."

- "Hey"- Mikey kinda whispered in a low voice- "I'm sorry, I thought you were getting us coffee and stuff yesterday."

- "Dude, it's ok, don't worry,"- Joey smiled and kept drinking her coffee- "Now I know if I get the job, I can get you black coffee with almond milk to brighten your day"- and he chuckled.

- "And thank you for coming over again."

- "My pleasure,"- Joey answered and stayed quiet looking at the two guys- "So... I saw Frank outside."

- "Yeah, he was smoking, and Gerard should be right here by now,"- Mikey took a look at his wristwatch. It was almost noon, and he knew his brother was going to be late.

Gerard was driving and smoking, trying to devise anything to avoid going to the studio and doing another audition with that woman. He didn't want to. Why? Way really didn't know. It was something inside of him that made him feel like he should stay the fuck away from her 'cos something terrible might happen. And he didn't want to find out what it was.

- "Hey"- Frank waved at Gee when he walked out of his car- "You are late."

- "Yeah, I didn't want to come,"- and Iero chuckled- "What are you doing here?"

- "I didn't want to get in just yet."

- "Is she here already?"

- "Yeah... she got here all happy like fifteen minutes ago."

- "Fine... let's get this over with,"- Gerard walked in and did his best not to look annoyed, which was virtually impossible, 'cos he couldn't stop frowning.

As soon as they walked into the studio, the image was Joey, Ray, and Mikey laughing like they were already best friends. And that got Gerard even more upset, if possible, and because of no reason at all.

- "Hey!"- Mikey stood up and hugged his brother.

- "Hi, nice to see you again,"- Joey reached out for Gerard's hand and smiled to do the same with Frank.

- "Thank you for coming,"- he whispered and cleared his throat. The drummer looked around at the band and started the speech she had prepared in her mind the whole morning.

- "Guys, I just wanted to clear the air here. If you don't want me to do this and you just called 'cos Tucker asked you to, there's no need to go through all this shit. I can go home, no hard feelings or anything"- and the band stayed quiet. Ray looked at Frank and waited for his words.

- "Joey, we just... why did you call Tucker? that was so rude!"

- "First of all, I didn't call him, he called and annoyed me for ten minutes before I told him what happened. And second, you were rude, you barely looked at me, you didn't even pay attention to what I did, and you clearly made up an interview to ask me to leave."

Joey directed those words looking right into Gerard's eyes and just spit the words, knowing that wasn't really gonna help her get the job.

- "Tucker didn't really lie, guys,"- Mikey said and tried to ease the mood- "You were rude at her, and I'm sorry to tell you, she's the best we've had so far."

- "Do you honestly think we can work together after what happened with Tucker?"- Gerard asked her, and she shrugged.

- "If you deal with the fact you were rude to me, then yeah, I've got no problem with it,"- and Frank huffed at that answer.

- "You made us look bad in front of a friend."

- "No, you looked bad in front of me, and when Tucker asked how had it been, were you expecting me to lie and tell him it was awesome? come on!"- Joey frowned, knowing that ship had sailed already- "This shit is high school all over again!"

- "I feel the same!"- Ray said and stood up- "Ok, let's get this straight, you two were assholes! And that's the main problem here! if she did or did not call Tucker to tell him about it, that's not the point!"

- "But dude!"-Frank tied to argue, but Ray stopped him.

- "No! this is our job, and we have to be professional. So now you are gonna be a grown-up, and you are going to apologize for being an asshole with no reason to her, 'cos she just came to apply for a job, ok?"

Ray looked more like a dad than like a band colleague at that point.

- "Sorry, Joey"- Frank whispered and looked down at his shoes. Ray looked at Gerard and raised an eyebrow

- "I'm sorry I was a jerk"- he mumbled

- "And I'm sorry I told Tucker you were assholes. He was really excited about the audition, and he was just trying to help me out. It clearly didn't work out, but he meant good."

Joey tried to be as nice as possible, thinking shit had gotten way too bad to even think about playing with this band.

- "Ok, now I'm gonna go so you can continue your drummer hunt."

- "Wait!"- Mikey held her arm and cut her a smile- "You should jam with us for a while."

- "I don't think that's a good idea. This got too complicated. And whether I'm good or not, I don't want this to be awkward for you. You are looking for someone to work with, it's your band, and you should be comfortable with who you choose."- Joey smiled and grabbed her bag- "I just wanted to thank you for apologizing and for caring about what happened. I'm gonna tell Tucker you are all very nice."- she joked, and the band looked at each other.

- "No, really, stay. We didn't ask you to come because of Tucker. We did it because we really want to give your audition another go,"- Frank's word surprised Joey. She wasn't really able to say a word back; she just nodded and smiled.

- "Great!"- Mikey clapped once and grabbed a bunch of papers from his bag- "I printed you some of the sheets of our songs,"- Joey held them and read them

- "Cool"

- "So... wanna warm-up?"

- "I already played two hours before I left the house."- she whispered, embarrassed of her confession- "Sorry, I just have this weird routine. I work out, eat and play in the early morning, just to get me through the day not killing anyone."

And Mikey chuckled. Frank kinda bit his lips to don't smile. He found it funny.

- "Great, then let's set us up,"- Ray smiled and walked to grab his guitar- "We remembered you were left-handed, so Mikey and I rearranged the drum set for you,"- Gerard raised an eyebrow staring at the scene.

- "Why is Ray so nice with her? Is he crushed on that girl? no way! he is a married man! married guys don't have crushes! it is impossible".

Joey read the music sheets and nodded. She had studied most of the songs, and though she had never been a huge fan of the band, she liked it enough to easily follow the tempo of each tune.

Gerard looked at her playing and hated the fact Mikey was right. She kept following each change they were doing and even threw a few herself that worked perfectly. He hated it 'cos she made it fun, and he wanted to hate her. Very childish of him, but yet, that's how he could describe it.

Frank looked at Mikey and then at Ray as they all played "Thank you for the Venom" and knew in his guts this was it. Musically this is what they needed. And also knew it was a shitty situation 'cos he had already made an enormous fuss and didn't really know how to fix it.

- "Shit!"- Ray said as soon as the song ended.

- "Yeah, that was great."- Gerard said and smiled. He knew he couldn't get away with it. Shit worked. And it worked awesomely- "Can we do "Parade"?"

- "Sure, just let me read it first. That's a long one,"- Joey said and grabbed one of the sheets. Mikey walked to his brother and raised an eyebrow, waiting for him to admit it.

- "I hate you."- Gerard whispered.

- "I know, just say it"

- "No"

- "Say it"- Mikey raised an eyebrow and kinda chuckled.

- "You were right. She's good,"- Gerard whispered, and his brother nodded.

- "God damn, I'm right!"

- "Ok, let's do this before I totally forget it..."- Joey said and smiled- "And who's gonna play the G note?"- the whole band stared at her, and she shrugged- "G note, not G spot, don't get scared"- Gerard chuckled, and he hated himself for it- "Come on pervs, let's do this!"

Somehow, Joey felt a little more in place between the guys, probably 'cos being a drummer, she was pretty used to hang out with men, from her teachers to classmates. She used to have girl bands growing up, but she found it easier working with guys professionally.

- "So, lunch?"- Ray asked and left his guitar aside. They had been jamming for over two hours.

- "Nice, I'm starving,"- Mikey did the same and turned to Joey- "Wanna come?"- she froze and looked at the whole band from behind the drums- "We are gonna go grab something to eat."

- "Yeah, then we can continue the practice,"- Gerard added and walked to the door. Joey kept in silence and looked at Mikey, smiling sweetly.

- "Ok... sure."

- "Great!"- Ray smiled- "Come on, are you a fan of Indian food? There's a fantastic place a few blocks from here!"

Frank sighed and walked outside to light a cigarette. He was sure Ray had a thing for Joey, and that upset him, most of all 'cos, just as Gerard had thought, Ray was a married man, and a happily married man, he shouldn't care about Joey that much. He was way into making her feel good. And that made Frank uncomfortable. And most of all, like a jerk for being mean to her in the first place.

- "Hey"- Joey appeared by his side all of a sudden and scared the shit out of him- "Sorry!"

- "I didn't know you were coming behind me."

- "Everybody had to pee. Apparently, they all have a small bladder,"- Frank grinned, lit a cigarette, and offered Joey one- "Thanks, I quit a few years ago."

- "Really? why?"

- "'Cos I stopped breathing... and found out I was asthmatic, which made total sense when I gave it a thought"- Frank nodded.

- "I shouldn't smoke either. My lungs are shit; I'm a bronchitis magnet."

- "I feel you"- Joey opened her backpack and took out her coconut butter hand cream. Frank looked at her and sort of smiled.

- "Do you want some? it's gonna be good to keep those tattoos from washing away"- Frank left the cigarette on his lips and grabbed the cream.

- "You are not even in the band yet, and you are making me use hand cream."

- "Tell you, what if I get the job I'll make sure I'll keep you moisturize every day,"- the young woman winked at him and saw the rest of the band walking towards them. She didn't notice Frank's face, who had turned purple after those words.

Matthew took a look at his clock as he walked outside the set. Joey should be back home by then, so he dialed her number and waited.

- "Hey, Akumu!"- he heard Joey's cheerful voice at the other side of the line and smiled.

- "Hey, Yami! How was it? Did you get the job? were those guys nice to you? are you ok?"

- "You are not gonna believe this, but we talked about it, and I have the feeling things are pretty much clear between us."

- "That's great, dorky! What are you doing now? are you back home?"

- "No, we came to grab something to eat, and then we'll continue rehearsing."

- "So you are still with the band then?"- Gubler was surprised, but happy things were working.

- "Yeah, and how's the reading going?"

- "Good, we've been at it the whole morning, now I'm about to eat something, and then I'll keep reading my lines."

- "Looking like a maniac pointing a fake gun made with your fingers?"

- "Just like any other day"- Matthew made a pause as he kept walking in circles, thinking about his girlfriend hanging somewhere with that band- "Hey, are those guys being nice to you?"

Joey looked back at the table where the band was eating and nodded, knowing her boyfriend couldn't see her.

- "Surprisingly, yes. They are all being very friendly. They apologize for being assholes yesterday."

- "Wow, really?"

- "Yeah, we had a weird deep talk in the morning. I think shit is cool now."

- "I'm glad, Yami."

- "Yeah, I've got the feeling they might actually give me the job."

- "That would be awesome."

- "I know! Anyway, Akumu, I have to go. I gotta do my best to be nice with these guys."

- "Please, don't be too nice. They don't really deserve it,"- Matthew joked, and Joey chuckled.

- "You are right, but mama needs to work."

- "But daddy can take care of you,"- Joey chuckled, making her best to process that information.

- "I love you so much, Gubler, but I can deal with this on my own."

- "I know you can."

- "Thank you."

- "I just wanna help."

- "Your support and love are all the help I need to make it."

- "So, what are we gonna do?"- Mikey asked his brother, and Gerard cleared his throat, looking at Joey talking on the phone on the other side of the diner.

- "I know you want her to stay, guessing Ray is dying to work with her,"- Gerard raised an eyebrow at his friend, and Frank nodded.

- "Yeah, you are way into that chick."

- "No way! I'm just trying to be nice 'cos you've been jerks."

- "Oh, come on!! you've got jizz all over your underwear!"- Frank's comment made Mikey laugh and almost choke with his lunch.

- "Dude, you went too far!"- Ray argued, disgusted- "And no, I don't have a crush on her, I just feel bad you made her so uncomfortable, and I'm trying to make it up for her."

The band looked at him in silence as Mikey kept coughing.

- "Dude, are you ok?"- Joey asked as she sat back at the table- "Do you want some water?"- and she reached out her glass to him, who took it and drank most of it.

- "Thanks"

- "What happened?"- the young woman asked, and Mikey smiled, breathing a little better.

- "We were talking about jizz"- Gerard covered his face with both hands as he heard his brother talking, and Joey laughed, nodding.

- "I'm so happy I was far away from you,"- Joey said and closed her eyes, pretending to be disgusted- "Anyway, Matthew says hi,"- she smiled at the band and continued eating.

- "Is he on set?"- Frank asked, staring at his food.

- "Table reading, tomorrow they start rehearsal and all those things I don't really remember 'cos I love him, but sometimes I don't follow all the steps into the shooting process."

They all smiled and nodded in silence for a moment. Gerard looked at Frank and lift his brows. Iero sighed and nodded.

- "So... do you wanna play with us for the next couple of months?"- Gerard just put out the question and stared directly into Joey's eyes. She looked at him surprised and didn't know what to say- "We have a very long tour, so we have to compromise to make it work."

- "I thought you hated me."

- "I don't hate you, none of us hates you... we just started with the wrong foot, but I think we can make it work,"- Gerard finished his words, nearly whispering. Joey's heart was racing. She couldn't believe she got the job, this was by far the best job Jo had ever have, and she couldn't wait to tell her parents. They were gonna be so proud.

- "I would love to play with you guys, thank you for the offering,"- Joey answered and grinned- "And again, I'm sorry for Tucker and all that shit."

- "Nah, forget it"- Ray quickly replied- "We know you are right for the band right now."

- "But if you are gonna be with us, we have to talk about the legal agreements"- Mikey said- "I hate that part, but we have to talk with our lawyers, do the paperwork."

- "Sure, not a problem."

- "And we are gonna need a tutorial to learn how to fucking spell your last name,"- Frank added and make everybody laugh. He looked at Joey smiling, and it felt like those few seconds were in slow motion, without any reason. Iero knew he was going to remember that particular moment for the rest of his life. He just didn't know why yet.

- "Yeah, what's the problem with your last name? when I called you yesterday, I had to practice it for a half-hour."

- "And you misspelled every single fucking letter in it, sorry"- she said to Ray and took a sip of her coke before she answered- "It's from Iceland, dad's from there. And my mom is from Colombia, which explains Maria Josefina ... I know, weirdest mix ever."

- "Wow, and what the fuck the last name thing?"- Frank asked and finished his food

- "Well, there your last name is defined by your father's name, so my dad's name is Sveinbjörn Sigmundsson"- the whole band stared at her with a blank look on their faces.

- "Sorry, what?"- Frank asked again

- "Sveinbjörn, it's a very common name."

- "Sure! sure it is!"- Iero laughed, and so did Joey.

- "Anyway, over there, your surname is your father's name and, in my case, the noun daughter, in Iceland, dottir, so my last name is Sveinbjörn, my dad's name, plus dottir, get it? Sveinbjörndottir, 'cos I am Sveinbjörn's daughter"- Gerard nodded and asked

- "And if you were a boy?"

- "I would be Sveinbjörnson... what's your dad's name?"

- "Donald"

- "In Iceland, you would be Gerard Donaldson"

- "Shit! my name would suck in Iceland!"- Frank grabbed his head and scratched it- "I would be Frank Frankson!"- and he burst out laughing

- "Dude! you are so lucky you are from Jersey!"- Ray said and turned to Joey- "So Maria Josefina is your mom's heritage and Sveinbjörndottir your father's."

- "Exactly, and that's why Joey is the best way to avoid people getting mistaken with my name."

- "Seems legit"- Gerard said and looked at everybody smiling. He turned to Joey and tried to study her face for a moment. Sure, her skin was paperwhite, and her eyes were slightly green, but she didn't look like the classic island chick you might imagine. Maybe there was too much Colombia on her.

- "What is it?"- she asked him when she found him staring at him.

- "Nothing"- he blushed and finished his coke- "I was just... trying to find any Icelandic feature on you"- she frowned immediately and didn't answer a word, obviously upset- "Sorry..."

Gerard drove back with Mikey. He wanted to avoid Ray being too nice at Joey, 'cos it still bothered him. And Mikey needed to talk about anything random with his brother to keep his mind busy.

- "Hey, maybe we should do something tonight"- Mikey asked his older brother.

- "Like what?"

- "I don't know... wanna go out? Maybe see some bands? Peter told me there are a few cool shows around this week."

- "Yeah, sure, let me ask Lynz if she wants to join us? what about Alicia?"- Mikey looked over the window and cleared his throat.

- "No, she told me she was meeting some friends tonight."

- "Everything ok?"

- "Yeah, it's all ok"- Mikey wasn't even making an effort to sound ok, but Gerard didn't notice- "So, thanks for what you did."

- "What did I do?"

- "You took an executive decision for the band"

- "I hope Frank doesn't kill me"

- "He won't"

- "And I stand by the fact Ray has a crush on her"

- "I don't think so"- Mikey's phone hummed, and he lazily read the text, "I'll stay with my parents tonight." Just what he needed, a confirmation of his lie. His wife was going to be nowhere to be seen that evening.

- "Hey, Lynz asked me to get something for dinner. Wanna grab something with us, and then we can go out?"

- "Sure."

Frank wouldn't stop talking. At some point during lunch, he just stopped trying to hate Joey. He ended up making joke after joke from the minute they got into the rented car until they reached the studio. He was so nice even Ray got worried. But then he thought Frank was probably overcompensating that girl for being such an ass before.

- "Ok so, Tucker ran naked from the studio, got into the car, and drove to get a burger wearing nothing but a cap?"- Joey nearly peed laughing at Frank's story.

- "Yeah!"- he reassured, laughing too- "And the studio was in this basement, and the family of our friend lived upstairs and completely saw him running around mooning everyone"- the drummer couldn't stop laughing, picturing her friend running naked all over.

- "Shitface never told me that story!!"

- "Oh, it's a good one!!!"- Frank chuckled and turned to look at Joey in the backseat- "So why were you touring with him?"

- "'Cos I had an awesome band, and we opened for Thursday for a few dates. I was still in college back then, and Tucker was like my older brother. He taught me a lot and saved me when I was drunk a couple of times, primarily for getting into fights."

Frank smiled and kept looking at Joey for a few seconds, and she cut him a big grin.

- "How come you don't have a band right now?"- Ray asked her and forced Frank to turn around and look at the road.

- "How says I don't?"

- "Do you?"- Joey laughed for a second.

- "No. My last band broke a few months ago, and I've been working on a few projects, but I haven't found people cool enough to share it with,"- Ray and Frank nodded in silence as they parked outside the studio.

- "Ok, kids. Back to work"- Ray said and opened the door. Joey did the same and smiled at Frank when he let her pass before him. She was sure he was extra nice to make up for being such an asshole with her before. And Frank was sure he had to stop being so nice at her 'cos he felt he was about to overstep the line, but he couldn't stop. It was like he stopped hating her to fully endorse a friendship with the girl one minute to the other

- "Get your fucking shit together, Frank."

Around five-thirty, Joey got into her car and sighed. She was exhausted and yet so fucking excited she felt she could run back to her place yelling. She had to wait until she was somewhere safe though, the band could walk out of the studio any minute, and it would be too embarrassing. Embarrassed herself in front of the band's first day working with them was something she wanted to avoid. It was too soon to show her real colors. No need to let them know she was a dork just yet. They had a whole tour to find out.

As she drove back home, she thought of everything that had happened that year. It surely didn't have a great start. Moving to Los Angeles to try to give it a go in music had been hard, really hard. If it hadn't been for her parent's support, she wouldn't have survived. But then she met Matthew, and it felt he could make everything better like magic. On top of that, she now had a real job playing with a huge band. That was a huge reason to celebrate.

- "So, what do you guys think?"- Gerard looked at the band and raised both eyebrows- "Is this shit gonna work?"

- "I don't see why not"- Mikey simply answered and grabbed his phone. Zero news from his wife. Not surprised either- Rehearsal was pretty well

- "No, I mean touring with a girl."

- "Oh, knock it, I thought we had passed that stupid problem,"- the youngest Way looked at brother pretty pissed- "Just grow up!"

- "Aren't you a little too sensitive?"- Gerard frowned and sat back on the couch.

- "No, I'm just tired. I don't wanna hear any more shit about how weird it will be touring with a girl or if Ray has a crush on her."

- "He totally does"- Frank quickly said, chuckling, though he felt slightly out of place saying that considering now he was extra nice with her too, and he didn't have a crush on her.

- "Very mature,"- Ray didn't pay attention to those words and looked at the band- "What we should be doing is preparing the setlist for the tour."

- "Is Brian coming tomorrow?"- Iero asked, walking around looking kind of bored.

- "Yeah, he said so, at ten, I think, to see the venues, schedules, crew. The usual,"- Ray answered and kept typing on his computer- "So, setlist?"- Frank's phone rang, and he walked away immediately.

- "Does anyone remember the name of the movie we watched the other day at my house?"- Gerard asked, looking at the ceiling.

- "The setlist"- Ray repeated.

- "No, it was the Hayao Miyazaki about the little girl."

- "Spirited away"- Ray quickly answered- "Now please! the setlist"

- "Do you think she was tripping?"- Ray looked at Gerard, annoyed, and closed the laptop- "What?"

- "I'm trying to work here, and you are not even listening!"

- "No one is. Why are you blaming me?"

- "Because you are not helping!!"

- "Wanna do the setlist, let's do the fucking setlist"- Gerard grabbed a notebook and a pen and started writing down the name of the songs- "There! A fucking setlist!"

- "What the fuck is your problem?"

- "I have no problem!!"- Gerard kind of shouted.

- "Can you guys please stop yelling?"- Frank asked, annoyed as he turned around, covering the cellphone and giving his bandmate a severe look.

- "Sorry"- Gerard whispered and look down at the sheet of paper.

- "What is going on there?"- Jamia asked her husband.

- "Shit has been kind of tense these last couple of days."

- "Why? preparing the tour?"

- "Yeah"

- "Did you guys find a new drummer?"- Frank sighed and walked outside to smoke a cigarette.

- "Yeah, we signed one today"

- "Great! What's his name?"

- "Joey, with an unpronounceable last name,"- Iero closed his eyes and took a deep breath before he added- "And it's her name... we booked a girl for the tour"- Jamia stayed quiet, processing the information- "She is friends with Tucker, he recommended her, and she is the best drummer we had."

- "Is she nice?"

- "Yeah, and her boyfriend is very nice too,"- Frank knew he had to add the boyfriend factor into the conversation quickly- "She is dating the nerd guy from Criminal Minds."

- "Really? he is hot"

- "I guess... anyway, we've been dealing with the drummer issue most of today, so shit is kind of sensitive."

- "Why? Someone didn't want to work with her?"

- "Well... I didn't"- Frank murmured

- "Why not?"

- "'Cos... I don't know. We've never included a girl in this band."

- "Maybe it's an excellent chance to do something different."

- "Wait, you are not upset we are touring with a girl?"- Frank frowned, not getting his wife's attitude.

- "Why should I?"

- "I don't know? 'cos bitches be crazy?"

- "Franklin Anthony Iero! you take that back!"

- Why are you middle naming me for?"

- "That was sexist!"

- "Sorry, I just thought you were going to be against this whole idea"

- "I think it's cool"

- "Really?"- Frank was in shock- "You are not going to freak out?"

- "No, I'm not going to freak out."

- "Thank you"

- "Besides, she has a really hot boyfriend. Do you think she can introduce him?"

- "Jamia Iero!!"

- "What? It's not like I'm gonna cheat on you. I just wanna stare at him... I bet he is tall"

- "Ok... that's weird for someone who has been a little too sensitive over fans lately,"- Frank joked, but that might have been just a huge mistake.

- "What are you saying? That I'm a psycho about girls around you?"

- "No, no, no honey, it was just a joke"

- "An awful joke"

- "I'm sorry"- Frank took a long drag of his cigarette and sighed- "How are the babies?"

- "Sleeping... I was gonna eat dinner and go to bed too 'cos I'm too fucking tired."

- "You should. Is your mom staying at home with you tonight?"

- "No, Evan is here today. He did some grocery shopping and cooked dinner"

- "He is awesome"

- "Yeah, he is on diaper duty until one, so I better get some rest"

- "Go, honey, talk to you tomorrow, ok?"

- "What are you gonna do tonight?"

- "Drive back to the hotel and play videogames with Ray"

- "Exciting"- Frank chuckled at his wife's words and stubbed out his cigarette.

- "Love you, honey"

- "Love you too"

Jamia was full of it. She hated the idea of Frank touring with a girl, but she knew making a tantrum was worse. They had had too many arguments about female fans already. The last thing she needed was to start a new one. But how was she going to deal with this new drummer? She seemed to be a major threat.

Joey walked into her apartment and jumped around in hyperventilation. She had tried her best to control her emotions all the way back home, but after she closed the door behind her back, there was no way she could stop her excitement.

- "I can't fucking believe this!!"- she yelled and jumped around the place until she finally laid on her bed and hugged a pillow. For the first time in a long time, she didn't feel like a loser. And for the first time ever, she could call her dad and make him proud, giving him the news of her new job.

Taglist: @all-tings-diego

#my chemical romance #mcr #matthew gray gubler #criminal minds #mikey way #ray toro #frank iero #fanfiction #babymetaldoll writes

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lunarliza · 4 years

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Dirty Little Secret | Chapter One: Blankets

fuckbuddy!JJ x Kook!Reader

You and JJ are fuck buddies- strictly physical. But what happens when you find yourself falling more and more for everyone’s favorite golden boy even though all he can see you as is a spoiled rich girl?

You stared at the ticking clock among the sea of giggling preppy girls. Time had to be running in reverse. There was no way you still had an hour left.

“Alright ladies, let’s now form a single-file line and practice our curtsies,” the cotillion instructor, Linda, ordered. The over-privileged girls hurried to the end of the ballroom, one carelessly stepping over your foot. “Ouch!”

You glared at their backs and non-existent asses as they scurried, being the last one to sulk to your place behind a tall girl named Caroline. The leggy blonde snickered and leaned back slightly once everyone got into formation.

“You look like a beat up mule,” she joked.

You snorted and got on your tip-toes, muttering into her ear. “If I hear the words ‘prim and proper’ one more time, I might actually vomit on the spot.”

You both peered over to Linda who was busy adjusting some of the girls in the front with her annoying pointer stick. It was only a matter of time before she would eventually get to you and criticize, well, everything. Your posture, clothes, hair, attitude.

“If you do,” Caroline added, “make sure to get it all on Delilah in the front left. She totally swiped me for runner-up Miss Teen North Carolina last year.”

You chuckled and shook your head.

Caroline was probably the only thing getting you through these treacherous debutante lessons. She was your typical tall, thin socialite with a Benz and Prada collection to match. Ironically, you guys had more in common than one would think- hating just about every single girl in the room. It may be for different reasons, but the principle was there. Caroline was as competitive as they come and always had to be the center of attention, not that it was hard given her model height.

You, on the other hand, couldn’t care less about becoming a high woman in society- evident in your ability to show up 20 minutes late to each lesson and royally screw up the dance number each chance you got. Caroline admired your talent of not giving a fuck and took a liking to you after you posed non-threatening to her spotlight.

You faked yawned and checked the clock once more.

“Alright I’ve had enough.” You held out your hand to Linda, causing the pageant girl in front of you to wrinkle her perfectly threaded brows. “Linda, I need to use the restroom,” you announced nonchalantly as everyone’s beetle eyes punctured you.

“Very well y/n,” the monotonous instructor answered with her thin-framed glasses hanging on her beak nose.

“See ya next week,” you sneakily whispered to Caroline. You proceeded to hop out of line, snatch your canvas bag at the entrance, and whisk out the door and into the busy street before anyone could see.

It was 3 p.m. on a Thursday afternoon. Your ferry left in an hour, and til then, you were ready to wander around the streets of Chapel Hill.

-----------------------------

“How were lessons today?” your mother asked, taking a sip of her 1999 Vineyard Merlot before setting the glass on the black marble table.

“Fine,” you answered, picking at the halibut on your plate.

Her glasses were perched at the bridge of her nose as she scrolled through items on an iPad. You silently glanced over to your little sister, Macy, who slid her green beans onto your plate and threw you a thankful grin.

“What did you go over?” your stepdad, Ted, asked half-heartedly as he scrolled through his phone.

“Uh, we did some curtsies and practiced the dance,” was all you cared to mention as you munched on your sister’s veggies.

“That’s funny,” your mother lifted her eyes from the screen, “because Linda called and said you went to the restroom and mysteriously disappeared. And you were late.” Her tone was much more adamant at the second part, but your face stayed cool as you took another bite of the awful fish.

“There was backup when I left the ferry,” you lied and your mother rolled her eyes, tossing the iPad onto the table.

“Y/n, you need to take this seriously. Ted spent weeks trying to get you into those debutante lessons and we’re paying a fortune for Linda alone!”

“It’s not my fault she has a stick up her ass just like everyone else there,” you countered. Your mom was seconds away from fuming, so you decided to add a little extra fuel. “Also someone stepped on my foot with their heel so I had to rest it or else I wouldn’t be able to properly do the dance.”

“Enough of this, y/n,” your mother snapped at your terrible sarcasm. Macy and Ted stopped eating and watched you both with hints of concern. You didn’t understand why it was so startling to them. It was just any other Thursday evening with your mom if you were being honest.

“If I get another call from Linda, we’re taking away your keys.”

“Take them,” you said, stepping up from your chair and towards the kitchen. You tossed the half-eaten food into the trash and stuffed the plate into the dishwasher. “Not like I have anywhere better to be on this God-awful island.”

You rushed to your room upstairs and kicked the door shut behind you. You sank into your bed, face first, and let out the longest, dreadful groan into the comforter.

This was your life now. After almost a year, you would think that you’d adjust to this pretentious Kook life, but it only made you feel more stranded than ever. It started when your real parents announced their divorce a few years back. Both yours and Macy’s hearts shattered at the news. Your family lived perfectly in a tiny home until you turned thirteen. Your dad- the one who taught you how to ride a bike, swim, fish, and play poker- got a new job where he would go overseas for months on end. You hated not being able to see him and your mom hated it even more- enough to leave him. Your mom ended up taking full custody of you and Macy. Soon after, she met money-bags Ted, and, before you knew it, your bags were sealed packed as you sailed away to a fancy new home along Figure Eight complete with housekeepers, a pool, and etiquette lessons. It was supposed to be this “better lifestyle” your mother tried to paint into your head- but you saw right through it. No matter how green the grass or white the fence, you still felt like you were being locked up on an island you had no interest in exploring.

Making new friends was also a hassle- first coming in as a high school sophomore, and then not knowing how to engage in Kook-speak with the others. It’s not your fault you weren’t well-versed in luxury cars and handbags. You had one or two friends, but spent most of your days alone. It was well past midnight when you caught yourself drowning in your own self-loathing thoughts. A sudden tap on your window startled you as you turned to find a familiar blonde boy struggling to lift the glass. You watched, unimpressed, as he finally got it open enough to slide his lean body in and land straight onto your window seat.

“You’re late again, JJ,” you said, getting up to lock your door.

“Phone died and there’s a guard on duty, so I had to come in through the long way,” JJ stated, plopping himself comfortably on your bed.

He wore his usual fit- dark cargo shorts and a navy button-up with hardly anything buttoned. He reeked of weed and seawater, wearing a sleazy grin on his face. You wanted to swipe it off. Cocky bastard.

“For the last time,” you retorted, kicking his feet off your white blankets, “no shoes on my fucking bed.”

“I love when you talk dirty to me,” JJ snarkily replied as he slipped off his boots.

This was JJ: your fuck buddy. You couldn’t pinpoint exactly why you were involved with this delinquent of a boy, but he was enough piss off your mom and Ted- not that you would ever tell them. You didn’t know what it was about him, but causally sleeping with JJ made you feel more in control of your life. So, once or twice a week, you two would meet up, do the deed, and go your separate ways without a word. No strings, no feelings, hell, not even a friendship. And not a single soul knew. You both understood the terms of your agreement and will stand by it until the day you both die. “Are you just gonna stand there and stare or are we gonna get to clapping cheeks? I don’t have all night dude,” JJ nagged, interrupting you from your thoughts.

You flipped him off. “If someone showed up during their regularly scheduled time, I would have had a lot more energy.” You peeled off your cropped tee to reveal a lacy black bralette and climbed into his lap. His hands cupped the globes of your ass before sliding them into your shorts, mouth connecting with your neck.

“Let’s make this quick,” he added between short breaths, “I have to meet some friends in an hour.”

-----------------------------

chapter two

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winnix85 · 3 years

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About Lewis Nixon’s mother Doris Ryer Nixon (Mrs Stanhope Nixon)

Source: mostly from old newspapers and digitized documents (I can’t guarantee the accuracy because they are fragmented information. I will just put it out there for someone may find some interesting useful backstories).

Doris Ryer was born on Oct 1 1894.

Her father Fletcher Ryer was a wealthy pioneer agriculturalist in California. He owned 6,600-acre (27 km2) ranch on Ryer Island, which was named in their honor. Because Doris was his only heiress, this ranch all went to Doris and then to Lewis Nixon III and ultimately to Grace Nixon. It's an agricultural (instead of livestocks) ranch. They grew crops, fruits and vegetables such as wheat, milo, safflower, pears, apples, cherries, grapes, tomatoes and asparagus. They produced such large amount of asparagus that Doris's mother, Mrs Ryer was nicknamed Asparagus Queen back then. This farm is still up and running today, managed by Clarence Hester from 1950s to 1990s (Nix' war buddy, the regimental S3, the one who wrestled with Dick in that photo), after him by his son Thomas Hester.

Doris was educated at Madame Payen's school in Paris from 1906 to 1914 (her entire high school).

Fletcher Ryer died an early death in 1911 (when Doris was about 16). Doris was close to her mother Mrs Blanche Ryer. Mrs Blanche Ryer, though very charming, married very very young. As a pretty, attractive, wealthy widow she determined to ensure that her daughter Doris have a brilliant "bellehood" as a girl. She took Doris to tour around the world. For example, in Sep1913, they traveled to Russia to present Doris at the court of Tsar Nicholas II (Very inconvenient timing, I have to say).

Doris was very sweet and attractive, with pretty black eyes. Her mother has always been most ambitious for her handsome daughter. She aimed to marry Doris to British aristocracy. Doris was presented at Buckingham Palace in 1914, wearing "a white satin princess gown embroidered in pearls and brilliants". Mrs Ryer has had her eye on several members of the British aristocracy for Doris, "but this cruel war, of course, smashed all of her well-laid plans to smithereens." She has to stoop so low to choose from American heirs.

Doris married Stanhope in Jan 1917 in New York at Church of Heavenly Rest. Their wedding was the social event of the year. Guests from coast to coast attended Nixon-Ryer wedding.

The bride's costume was soft white satin, made in combination with pearl embroidered net. She worn a lovely veil, the same that had been worn by her grandmother at her wedding, which was held in place with a band of diamonds. Her only other ornament was a necklace of diamonds with a large pear-shaped diamond pendant, the gift of the bridegroom.

Because the father of bride has died, she was given away by governor of New York Charles S. Whitman. Among those in attendance were the Brazilian ambassador and Argentine ambassador.

After the wedding the new couple went to Bermuda for honeymoon and then they lived at 52 East Fifty-second Street NYC (but later moved to 46 East 65 Street). In 1920 census, the household of the new couple included Stanhope the head of the house, Doris the wife, Lewis the one and half yr old old baby son, and a butler and 3 maids. They also have a suburb house at 167 Grange Ave, New Jersey (a 20-room estate, equiped with oil burning hot water heat, a 4-car garage, servants quarters, a boat house and a stable).

After marrying off her daughter to the Nixons, Mrs Blanche Ryer re-married in 1920 to Clifford Erskine-Bolst, a British conservative party politician. Mr Erskine-Bolst was elected to the British House of Commons in 1923 and again in 1931. To help him win the election, she made generous donations to King George's Hospital in England. She campained hard for him, making speeches and appealing to the constituency in the South Hackney district.

In 1920s, mama Doris bought a villa at Riviera France from the late Grand Duchess Anastasia of Russia. She lived there until her death in 1939 (This villa went to Nix. But he didn't like living there, too much hassle to open the house. He prefered to stay at the hotel Cap Estel. In 1950s he leased it to the Kennedys).

Doris and Stanhope seemed to be ok in 1920s. They attended social events together and traveled to England together. After Lew, they had a baby boy in 1922 (who tragically died in 3 months. Doris' mother went to New York to be with her.) Then they had Blanche Nixon in Aug 1924 (also born in NYC). While living in NYC, it seems little Lew was often spending time with his grandfather. Grandpa often took him to play at central park. For example, he took Lew to that model yacht regatta in central park when he was 7, and to skate in central park in Jan 1927 when lew was 8. In 1927, Doris took 2 yr old Blanche to France to visit her mother, but she didn't take Lew (maybe he was too naughty?). Anyway, Doris took Blanche to see grandma almost every year but Lew was only with them on one visit when he was 10 yr old.

Doris appeared to be lonely and out of place in the social circle of New York. Here is a social note about her in 1929: "A remarkable girl with her embroidery frame, actually engaged in a simple, normal occupation in a land where the atmosphere is charged with hang-overs, gambling-losses and mistrust. Nobody around here looks twice at a woman with mauve hair like Madame de Roch, or at a man with ear-rings and a bracelet on his ankle. But let a girl take out a half-finished centerpiece and commence embroidering and every lorgnette in the crowd is whipped into place."

At the end of 1920s, Doris seemed to be so unhappy to live on the east coast anymore, and she still regarded CA to be her real home. Stanhope sold their house in New Jersey and bought a new house in Montecito (also a mansion with a large stable and everything). In the 1930 census they were living at 180 Cold Spring Road, montecito, CA (Stanhope, Doris, Lewis (11yr), Blanche(5yr), and a French governess, and 2 servants). Lew attended boarding school at Cate School in Santa Barbara.

In social notes in 1930s, Stanhope and Doris mainly attended social events in CA (Santa Barbara and San Francisco), they also travel to New York to visit Mr and Mrs Lewis Nixon Sr.. The family traveled a lot, not only back and forth between east-west coasts, but also trips abroad. Doris always took Blanche with her, but Lew traveled on his own even when he was as young as 15 yr old. It appears that Doris and Stanhope's relationship has gone sour in 1930s. For example, in this 1934 social note: "The Stanhope Nixons will spend the Christmas holidays with his parents, Mr. and Mrs. Lewis Nixon. Mr Nixon will return to California on Jan 1, and Mrs Nixon will sail for Europe to spend six months on the Riviera with her mother." (almost as if Doris was running away from Stanhope and hide in France after briefly met him on Xmas day. Meanwhile 15 yr old Lew was at boarding school in CA).

In 1940 census, Doris and Blanche were still living at 180 Cold Spring Road, montecito, CA (with a housekeeper, a cook and a maid). Stanhope was no longer in this household. Maybe they have separated. Lew was also not in this household for he has left for college.

Among the CA high society, Doris was a all-around likable person: "Doris is always bubbling over with enthusiasm, her joy of living and her wit making her a welcome guest at any affair". She was very enthusiastic about opera (and art events in general, such as oriental dance). She attended the openning of Opera Season at San Francisco every year (usually with Blanche, and she will grab Lew when she can catch him). In 1940, she offered a prize for the "Best one act play" to stimulate interest in the Lobero Theater of Santa Barbara. She also went to see excellent plays in New York when it's in season and made some witty comments about the remarkable fashion trends in New York: "The only lavender and old lace that you see today is on the individual--the lavender in the tinted hair, and the lace on the dainty unmentionables."

After the Pearl Harbor Attack, Doris turned from a socialite to a civic leader. In 1942 she became the national vice-president of the American Women's Voluntary Services (AWVS) (and during ww2). The AWVS recruited and trained women to harvest crops, do nurse works, driving trucks and sell war bonds. She encouraged women to show more interest in international affairs. She also founded Guide Dogs for the Blind in 1943 (primarily to help the blinded veterans) and she made generous donations. In addition, she was the state commander of the California Cancer Society.

The AWVS duties kept her so busy, she has to relinquish her box at the opera house. She only had long enough time to have a toasted chicken sandwich for lunch. She put generous amount of English mustard on her sandwich. When her friends cautioned her not to put too much, she said:"If it puts me out, I will be a most excellent subject for the first aid class I am about to attend, and we will all find out how much we know!"

In the summer of 1945, Doris and Stanhope finally divorced (Stanhope even filed counter-suits seeking divorce on the grounds of desertion). They divorced in August, and Stanhope married "the Blond" in September 1945.

In June 1948, Doris died at home (944 Chestnut Str San Francisco CA). She had a stroke (and she always had hypertention). It seems her death was an unexpected sudden death because one month before she was still traveling around France with her daughter Blanche. Her will dictated to split her legacy equally between Blanche and Lew. She also left generous amount of money to employees such as housekeeper, secretary. For a former maid, she gave her $225 monthly for life.

#doris ryer nixon #Doris Ryer #Mrs Stanhope Nixon #She was a wonderful person #Generous kind and funny #lewis nixon #band of brothers

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frodo-of-the-nine-fingers · 10 months

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A long time ago, you asked me to leave Nassau with you to avoid ruin. I had put so much of myself into this place, in that moment, I honestly didn't know where I ended and it began. There may be ways of severing oneself in that way... sacrificing one part to save the other. But... in that moment... I honestly couldn't find something sharp enough to make the cut.

What would have been enough?

this was the lovely @jaynovz idea so go yell at them some too 💜💜

#black sails #black sails parallels #john silver #james flint #was originally a maxanor quote if u even care #black sails is a show about divorce actually #tw death #mine

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coco96 · 4 years

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LDAF - PP Romantic

Dangers Of The Job (Peter Parker X Male!Reader) Warnings: Arguing Fighting, mugging, injury, swearing Request: Could you do a male reader x peter Parker where they get into a heated argument about peter’s hero activities? They don’t talk for days until mreader gets mugged/hurt and peter saves the day and they fluff it out?

Break In (Peter Parker X Stark!Daughter!Reader) Warnings: Gun, shooting, severe injury Request: ... she has her own iron man suit and gets severely injured while she and peter are on a mission and peter blames himself for not being able to stop it. Lots of angst

New Braces (Peter Parker X Reader) Warnings: Self-conscious reader Requests: ... reader and peter are dating and reader just got braces but is insecure and Peter just thinks they look cute

Arranged Plans Cancelled (Peter Parker X Fem!Stark!Reader) Warnings: Bad friends Request: Stark!Reader is often hurt by others, like people will arrange plans + blow her off/friends will make plans in front of her + not invite her. people will get her to do their homework for them bc they know she can’t say no. Peter Parker thinks its really unfair but she handles it really well + doesn’t make a fuss. one day Steve/Tony/someone accidentally upsets her (maybe they cancel plans she’s been really looking forward to or something) and Peter just loses it. she’s really shocked that he noticed and he’s standing up for her. She goes to Midtown too …

Pick Locking (Peter Parker X Reader) Warnings: Minor injuries Request: … “ I teached you how to pick a lock and this is how you’re using that skill” For peter parker?

Meet My Girlfriend! (Peter Parker X Fem!Reader) Request: ... reader where they’re really close friends and do things that every one else assumes they’re a couple ... she goes w/ him to one of tonys parties ... + he introduces her as his gf without thinking + she’s really confused + he remembers he never actually asked her out?

Unwanted Messages (Peter Parker X Male!Reader) Warnings: Unwanted flirty messages, mention of homophobia Request: … Where the reader always leaves his things around and one day peter sees his phone and sees that she’s been getting messages from females saying flirtatious things and assumes that the reader is cheating on him. But there’s a happy ending

Feeling Insecure (Peter Parker X Male!Reader) Warnings: Swearing, self consciousness Request: … peter parker x bi!male reader that M!R is popular in school and has girls/boys throwing themselves at him and peter feels insecure that M!R will leave him for someone else but with a fluffy(happy) ending

Stolen Sweaters (Peter Parker X Fem!Reader) Request: ... Just he knows her from school. And something with her just walking around wearing his jumpers and they’re really big on her and he just thinks she’s really cute and just some wholesome love fluff? ...

Bringing the Boyfriend Home (Peter Parker X Male!Reader) Warnings: Mention of tattoos, piercing and mild violence/threat Request: … peter wants to introduce male reader to the avengers but the male reader has like tattoos, piercings etc. And the avengers are skeptical of him but he ends up being/acting like a gentleman that he even makes an impression on the black window

New Kind of Helicopter Parenting (Peter Parker X Stark!Reader) Warnings: Being Spied on Request: Peter Parker × Stark! Reader FLOOFY??💜💜💜They’re in the tower and like watching movies and cuddling and the Avengers are spying at them (and Tony is like so excited cause his ship has sailed!!)

Overwhelmed (Peter Parker X Fem!Reader) Warnings: mention of neglect, divorce, dysfunctional family Request: … she’s in the year below him and is under a lot of stress because she has to help look after siblings and her siblings’ pets and keep up with school interventions and end of topic tests and big exams coming up. And Peter starts to notice that she’s not acting like herself and then she starts to cancel dates cos she doesn’t have time and he understands but wants to make sure she’s okay and she just breaks down so they cuddle and he says he’ll help

Only You (Peter Parker X Male!Reader) Warnings: Insecurity/ mild jealousy Request: ... reader and his best friend are like super friendly twords each other that other people think they are girlfriend/boyfriend and peter feels as if the male reader will leave him for her(best friend) but male reader reassures peter he’s the only one for him

Movie Scenes (Peter Parker X Male!Reader) Warnings: Mention of explicit scene and sexual mention. Request: ... reader has to do an explicit erotic ... scene for a film and peter get jealous that he doesn’t speak to the MR. Then MR tries to figure out why peter is mad and then they just talk it out with peter in MRs arms. …

Dresses (Peter Parker X Male!Reader) Warnings: Mentions of Homophobia, arguing and yelling Request: … male reader and Peter are watching a show that includes drag queens and reader is like “is that ok? Can you dress like that and not get beat up?” And peters response is “ you can, you might still get beat up but I’ll protect you!” … Bucky and Steve walk in on them … and one of them gets mad at reader for dressing like a girl and reader runs off crying … And eventually even though still uneasy whoever said it was wrong accepts it. …

Metallic Limbs (Peter Parker X Fem!Reader) Warnings: Mention of injury and loss of limbs, mention of surgery Request: … Reader is a quadruple amputee after the Chitauri attack in Manhattan. Tony, As the one who found her in the rubble, feels inclined to watch over her and help her in any way he can. So he has her fitted with state of the art cybernetic limbs. Years later, reader is coming to the avengers HQ to get a tune up and she meets the friendly neighbourhood sideman without the mask. Tony is unsure if he’s okay with them being so chummy together.

Hacker (Peter X Fem!Reader) Warnings: Mention of cheating. Request: Can you do one where the reader is dating Peter and she’s a hacker who sells information to support herself (her parents are gone) and she knows Peter is Spider-Man and he somehow finds out who she is?

Tickle Fight! (Peter X Fem!Reader) Request: … she’s a hacker and they’re at Stark towers working together(maybe she’s tony’s daughter?) He’s working on his web shooters and y/n is bored so she keeps giving him sneaky little tickles to distract him then pretends she’s innocent and after a while he starts a tickle fight being 100% done with her shit? Bonus if the avengers walk in and ship it? Thx luvly sorry it’s so long😚

Gliding (Peter X Fem!Reader) Warnings: Heights Request: ... she brings Peter to the Avengers tower balcony on a beautiful night to show her wings manifesting ... and then they she soon strongly carries him in his arms for a ride and when they get back to the balcony they have their first kiss?

Prom Night (Peter Parker X Fem!Reader) Request: The reader can control things like gravity, stars, cosmic energies( energies found in space) and other spacey things and can create blackholes and stars and things like that, and she asks peter out to prom by making him a constellation with her powers. She can manipulate bodies in space but also has powers on earth that she uses for crime fighting super sonic flight, super strength photokinesis astrokinesis.

Dad Duties (Clint Barton X Daughter!Reader, Peter Parker X Fem!Reader) Request: Reader is Clint’s daughter who is a mutant and is dating Peter Parker?

Visiting (Peter X Fem!Reader) Request: … it’s peterparker x fem!reader but she’s an australian hero only working with the avengers part time or something. Thanks

Gymnastic Lessons (Peter Parker X Reader) Warnings: Mention of heights Request: Could you do one where Peter is dating the reader and he thinks the fact he can swing around on his webs is pretty cool and then he finds out they’re an aerialist who’s like, really good? Sorry if that’s a little weird

Spider’s Boyfriend (Peter Parker X Male!Reader) Request: Maybe you could make a peter parker x jock male reader where peter introduces reader to the avengers and the avengers like really like him that there like complaining that he has to leave and go home at the end

A Little Help (Peter Parker X Fem!Reader) WARNINGS: PANIC ATTACKS AND ANXIETY Request: … Reader is a clasdmate of Oeter but they never really talked because shes hella introverted? And hes outside as Spiderman when he sees her having a panic attack and comes to her and comforts her. And she recognizes his voice and thats the start of their friendship.

Really? (Peter Parker X Fem!Reader) Warnings: Neglect of family Request: ... reader where her parents are always busy + away from home + she’s sorta starved for affection so to speak. theyre at peters house doing some science project for school. She figures something out. And then peter just casually praises her. he sees how surprised she is + is sad when he realises whats happening with hee parents + starts to go out of his way to find reasons to give her just little bits of affection and praise so she knows she is appreciated?

Darkness (Peter Parker X Fem!Reader) Warnings: Fear of the dark Request: … peter parker x stark!reader where she watches horror films in the dark alone a lot. peter stays overnight + realises she sleeps w/ the lights on. When he (persistently) asks why she admits that shes afraid of the dark but everyone expects her to be brave just like her father is so she pretends but really shes just a scared little girl. W/ fluff and cuddles with peter parker

Mirror Image (MJ X Twin!Reader) Request: … Peter sees MJ’s twin (Y/N) and mistakes her identify and leaves embrasssed after declaring she looks prettier today…After feeling embrasssed he walks into the real MJ and MJ bring the snarky person we love, explains why Peter was distracted and later on Peter realizes she has a twin …

Bloody Bed (Peter Parker X Reader) Warnings: Bullying, Injury, blood, wounds, stitches Request: ... reader gets bully at school, so one day reader is crying on the roof. Spiderman sees it and talks to reader who is crying. Then after that the spiderman visis reader almost every day but one day while visiting spiderman is badly injued and the reader takes care of spidey and by accident the reader name is called by peter while thanking him.

Support (Peter Parker X Male!Reader) Warnings: Extremely religious family Request: ... Peter is in love with a boy who is religious and very correct, does not say bad words, does not commit bad deeds, does not drink alcohol or anything of those things and is also in love with Peter but has trouble accepting it because he has always been told he has that is with women the boy is also a super hero and works with the avengers ...

Karen (Peter Parker X Stark!Reader) Request: … Peter is in love with the daughter of Iron Man and the daughter of Iron Man of Peter but she is super shy and antisocial so she does not know how to get close to Peter, she knows that he is spiderman and without his father knowing she hacks the suit Peter and pretends to be Karen :)

Awkward Peter (Peter Parker X Fem!Reader) Request: ... she is Tony’s daughter and Peter is really awkward around her because obviously, you know, Tony Stark is her dad and he wants to impress him? And just a bunch of awkward Peter and sassy reader?

Signs (Peter Parker X Fem!Reader) Warnings: Insensitive comment Request: ... mute!reader where he learned to sign to her; they’re really close& stuff & he helps her w/ work, translating her questions to teachers, etc. A few days after she & Peter start dating, she meets Tony who makes a joke about being used to fans being stunned into silence. Peter just gets really angry & defensive & starts ranting, stepping in front of the reader protectively; she just reaches out & signs that it’s okay. When tony realises he obviously apologises.

Parker! (Peter Parker X Fem!Reader) Warnings: Bit of bullying, angry over protective dad. Request: Tony Stark’s daughter is popular and in a band and at a concert, Peter is getting picked on for being alone so Reader goes and kisses him and hugs him, surprising everyone with their secret relationship, much to Tony’s disapproval.

Shared Pain (Peter Parker x Reader) Warnings: Pain, mild violence, swearing, mild spoilers Request: Peter Parker x reader soulmate au reader doesn’t want a soulmate and has kind of hated peter but then it ends up all good

Blind Meeting (Avengers X Blind!Reader) Request: What about a platonic peter parker x reader where the reader is really nervous to meet the avengers because shes blind but peter assures her that itll be fine and the avengers end up loving her

Things We Used To Share (Peter Parker X Reader) Warnings: Sad boi Request: Petet parker x reader based on the song “things we used to share” by thomas sanders??

Kiss Of Life (Peter X Fem!Reader) Warnings: Mention of death, drowning, blood, injury, plane crash Request: … reader is recruited to be an Avenger and she has oceanic powers and when they were all on a tense dangerous mission, Peter was hurt badly and fell over deep into the ocean so the reader jumps in and grabs him, pulls him onto the shore, kissing him (which is a power she has that heals people) to take his pain away?

New Life (Peter Parker X Fem!Reader) Warnings: Teasing Request: ... reader is Clints teenage daughter from a previous relationship before Laura. She’s kind of loner and a punk chick but keeps to herself. Laura sends her with her father to try to open her up and make some friends in the city. She ends up falling for peter cause she loves geeky guys.

Not My Best Friend (Peter X Overweight!Fem!Reader) Warnings: Bullying, teasing, body issues, mild swearing Request: … They go together to highschool, have some classes together, and reader takes ballett lessons after school, with some of the girls from her grade - and she’s getting bullied by them (=issues), even by Peter’s new, popular ass girlfriend (not Gwen, bless her). And Peter finds out. And saves the day. …

Missing My Voice (Tony X Fem!Reader, Peter x Fem!Reader) | Part 2 Warnings: Blood, surgery, needles, injury Request: … reader loves to sing and play the guitar and a ton of other instruments but goes mute during a mission (due to an injury), and how it impacts Peter and Tony? And can Tony like, go to a ton of doctors and stuff to try and find a solution? Whether he does or doesn’t is up to you. Thanks in advance!

Copy Cat (Peter Parker X Fem!Reader) Request: … reader shapeshifts into different people/ animals an uses it to survive, so one day peter parker sees himself stealing something and it ends up in a fight until he realizes she’s a girl? you can pick the ending

Fight Me (Peter Parker X Fem!Reader, Tony Stark X Daughter!Reader) Warnings: Threatening (not serious) Request: Hey can I get a Tony x daughter reader where she’s always says fight me like someone says “I Was sitting there” and she says fight me ect. Anyway lots of fluff a little Peter x reader too- Og I forgot Tony x daughter reader fight me she like pure™ thanks😘

Name Of Love Pt 1 (Peter Parker X Reader) *Collab*

Here every step of the way (Peter Parker X Reader) SERIOUS WARNING: EATING DISORDER Request: Would you, by any chance, be able to do an imagine based off of the Peter Parker x bulimic reader that I requested a while ago? If not that’s fine. X

Hacking Fun (Peter X Fem!Reader) Request: ... peter Parker is dating a girl who’s extremely shy and she knows he’s Spider-Man? He brings her to the tower to do homework and tony teases them through the intercom system. But the reader is super smart and hacks his system and shuts him off and tony is impressed so he invites her over more often. He gets her to hack everyone for laughs and pranks.

Real Life Avatar (Peter Parker X Reader) Request: ... reader can control the elements and peter is like “wow you are the freaking Avatar” or something like that? ...

Be Careful (Tony X Daughter!Reader, Peter X Fem!Reader) | Part 2 Warnings: Blood, getting shot Request: … reader is Tony’s teenage daughter who’s dating Peter and she’s just the type of person everyone loves but she’s also a really good hacker and fighter so she does missions sometimes and she ends up getting shot? …

Better Choice (Tony Stark X Cousin!Reader, Peter Parker X Reader) Warnings: One swears and mentions of bed relationships and breakups Request: The reader is Tonys younger cousin (teenager) and she starts falling for Peter and tony just pets it happen because he’s better than any boyfriend the reader has had before

Retainers (Peter Parker X Teen!Reader) Request: ... there are both Avengers in training living in the Avengers tower, and they are both in braces stage where they wear their retainers at night. Then they get called out for a mission in the middle of the night, and forget to take them off, and the rest of the team sort of jokes around with them? Thank you!!

Prankster (Peter Parker X Reader) Warnings: Pushing someone off a roof? Request: Helloooo! Could i request a peter parker x reader where the reader is the son/daughter of wade wilson and can turn invisible. So they like peter and love playing pranks on him and one time they go invisible and kiss him!

“Mr Rogers?”(Steve X Son!Reader, Peter X Male!Reader) Warnings: Over protective father? Request: … reader is Steve Rogers’ son (14-15) and he’s a really protective dad, but the reader is dating Peter Parker and Steve goes dad-mode on them? …

One Drink (Adult!Peter Parker X Male!Reader) Warnings: Jealousy, swearing Request: ... they go to a bar and the reader runs into there old friend and from toms point of view it look like the old friend is really touchy and the reader is okay with it so Tom drags the reader him without saying a word they have a little argument in the house and then the reader clears it up ...

Telling Him (Peter Parker X Male!Reader) Warnings: Mentions of coming out and past murder Request: … reader is Tony’s son (probably an adoption situation?) and is closeted gay… maybe after Peter is already a part of the avengers, and not during Civil War? …

You’ve What!? (Peter X Fem!Reader) Warnings: Sexual themes, drinking, threatening Request: ... reader is the babygirl of the avengers, and has been datind Peter Parker for a long time, but they dont bother them ... but one day they a little drunk and playing “ Never have I ever” and someone ask: “had sex” and Peter and reader drink, and everybody freaks out ...

Who Is It? (Tony X Daughter!Reader) | Part 2 Request: … Tonys daughter is sitting in the living room being like ‘hey I hacked into your system ‘cause I’m your super smart daughter and have no where else to go’ and Tony starts to get really protectiv over her. And then finds out that she is falling in love with Peter, but Tony is basically the last one to find out? …

Peter Parker dating reader with bulimia would include . . .

Dating Peter Parker and having powers would include…

Dating Peter Parker and being on Team Cap would include …

Noticing (Peter X Fem!Reader) Request: ... reader is the youngest avenger and a witch and always helps T'Challa, Peter and Scott become closer to the team? Idk maybe she gossips with them or requests to go on a mission to make them feel included ...

#marvel cinematic universe #peter parker #spiderman #peter parker x reader #spiderman x reader #marvel #mcu #lazydoodlesandfanfic #lazydoodlesandfanfic masterlist

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notafraidofredyellowandblue · 3 years

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Flake interview 2020-01

Not a new interview, but relatively recent, Flake with "Der Standard" 2020-01 before an appearance of Flake in Vienna (author Stefan Weiss), don't think there's a translation on the website, so here's a shot..:

Rammstein keyboardist Flake: "The reunification was a mess"

Christian "Flake" Lorenz hits the keys not only as a keyboardist, but also as an author. A conversation about controversial views on the GDR, fireworks and climate protection

At Rammstein he is the "keyfucker" - GDR jargon for keyboard players. His real name is Christian Lorenz, but he has been calling himself "Flake", pronounced in German, of course, since his youth. For a quarter of a century, the native of East Berlin has been the alien in the German rock band, the thin freak among the strong musclemen. In the meantime, Flake also hits the keys as an author: In "An was ich mich so erinnern kann" (2015) he wrote down his GDR experiences, followed in 2017 with "Heute hat die Welt Geburtstag", a literary autobiography about Rammstein. On March 26, Flake will come to Vienna's Globe Theater for a reading.

STANDARD: We are currently celebrating 30 years of 'Die Wende' *1). Your joy is limited, as one knows. How do you perceive the anniversary?

Flake: 'Die Wende' and reunification of Germany have to be separated. I experienced the change as a punk at the time. The ossified old concrete headframe of the GDR Politburo was also our enemy. We didn't want this idiotic regime anymore and we fought to loosen it up. When the wall came down, we didn't know what to do with the freedom we suddenly had. But then began an incredibly exciting time in which we tried to develop professionally, politically and musically in every direction.

STANDARD: And then came the reunification.

Flake: A lot went wrong from then on. We were annexed as a useless country, entire biographies were declared worthless, companies were closed so that the western companies could expand. We have been reset to such an extent that resentment and disappointment have built that have persisted until now. By and large, the reunification in this form was a mess.

STANDARD: If you look at Germany's east today, right-wing populism has recently had great political success there. A legacy of reunification?

Flake: Many people are disappointed because certain promises have not been fulfilled. But they already had the political left in their lives, now they are trying it with the right. Personally, I cannot understand how one can vote for the AfD *2). But those who do are doing it in large part in protest against the mainstream parties. It is clear that the AfD cannot meet expectations either. If the AfD were to rule, many people would notice very quickly that it is not getting better, but worse.

STANDARD: You grew up in the East Berlin punk scene. What are the differences between the East and West punks?

Flake: There was a fundamental difference: the Ostpunks didn't need any money because life was absurdly cheap, rent around 25 marks. The koney you made from one concert lasted over a month. So you could make the music you wanted to make and not just the music that sells well. Absurdly enough, it made us very free.

STANDARD: There were also IM Stasi informers among your band colleagues at the time (IM: unofficial employee, note). Aren't you angry with the repressive surveillance state of the GDR?

Flake: I'm not angry with IM informers in the bands. Because their IM status often made it possible for the bands to exist at all. The Stasi didn't lock up its own people. The best example of this is the GDR band 'Die Firma'. It was founded by IM informers. The gag was that 'Die Firma' ('The Company') was actually a synonym for "Stasi". Covered by the Stasi, they then sang anti-subversive texts. Almost brilliant really.

STANDARD: Do you understand when it is said that the GDR was an injustice state and that Stasi repression was a kind of terror?

Flake: I can understand it when people say that who have experienced it and suffered from it. But personally, I can't say that the whole state was bad. I don't want to know how many innocent people have been or are being imprisoned and monitored in the West. I do not find the generalization of the "unjust state" okay.

STANDARD: Would Rammstein have been conceivable in the GDR?

Flake: We wouldn't have founded a band like Rammstein within the GDR because it would have been the wrong answer to this system. We founded Rammstein because we noticed that our punk music wasn't getting anywhere in the West. It took harder stuff.

STANDARD: You have retained a kind of socialism within the band. Nevertheless, Rammstein is a millionaire company. Were there moments when you thought: The money could not only destroy our character but also the band?

Flake: Rammstein is a company where money fluctuates a lot. We have a lot of employees, we buy tons of pyrotechnics, we have a huge stage, costumes, our own electricity network, we shoot extremely complex videos. The money that remains private can actually hardly harm us, because it is so limited. We really have to make sure that the plus-minus calculation works out.

STANDARD: In your book "Heute hat die Welt Geburtstag" you describe the 25 years of Rammstein as a long partnership: It has become calmer in bed, but you understand each other blindly. Is divorce even an option?

Flake: Divorce is definitely not an issue. It's like a very long marriage: You don't even think about divorce anymore.

STANDARD: In the midst of tough muscle men, you were always the figure that breaks everything, especially in the interaction with singer Til Lindemann, who sometimes roasts you on stage like a cockroach. It looks like the traditional comedian constellation white clown and stupid August, Laurel and Hardy with SM components. How important is that to the show?

Flake: We developed that more by accident. We never made it up: you are the strong one, I am the weak one. At our first concerts we always stood around very haphazardly, then we started pushing and provoking each other. When I watch a normal heavy metal band I get bored easily. We always have something going on.

STANDARD: Do you sometimes long for a role change at Rammstein? To be the strong one for once?

Flake: Nah, I have other worries. With those couple of concerts, I can handle my role well enough.

STANDARD: Can you even enjoy appearances or does that only come afterwards? After all, a Rammstein show is precision work.

Falke: What do you mean enjoy? I enjoy when everything runs smooth and everything works like a machine. There are good and bad concerts, at the good ones we take off like an airplane.

STANDARD: Rammstein mixes black romanticism with black humor. You yourself love the blues, which often sails in similar waters. Can you draw joy out of melancholy?

Flake: The blues is the best example of this. Sadness and comfort go hand in hand. All of popular music arose from a problem of the respective author. This is exactly what you want to hear when you are not feeling well yourself. During puberty you normally don't want to hear "Walking on Sunshine" either.

STANDARD: Traditionally, there is also joy in melancholy and morbidity in Vienna. Is that the Eastern European impact?

Flake: Slavic music is very melancholic, on the other hand the Goth culture comes from the west. So I wouldn't really pinpoint that to anything local.

STANDARD: It is said that Rammstein did more to preserve the German language than all the Goethe Institutes put together. Are you proud of that?

Flake: Yeah. But the interesting thing is that we are regarded more highly abroad than in our own country. In Germany there is a lot of ranting: We are dull and foolish about Germany - complete nonsense.

STANDARD: Rammstein has always been compared to the totalitarian parody band Laibach. They recently played in North Korea with the aim of appearing subversive. Is something like that conceivable for Rammstein?

Flake: We'd have to think very carefully about what we want and why we want it. If that were to help someone, okay - but only to be able to say, "We're subversive now," that's not an argument.

STANDARD: For reasons of climate protection, there is an increasing number of missile bans. A topic for Rammstein?

Flake: We played a concert in Chicago once. The local fire protection was so rigorous that we shouldn't even have lit a match. Complete ban on pyro. We went on stage and said: either we are leaving because we are not allowed to make a fire here, or we are playing without. The audience wanted the latter, of course. And it became one of our best shows. You have to weigh it up a bit: should you stop all things like a Rammstein show for climate reasons? But I totally understand that there shouldn't be any more bangs on New Year's Eve. I was in Vienna once at the turn of the year, and there was relatively little banging. I thought that was good. Berlin is one of the most terrifying cities on New Year's Eve. There it's pure aggression.

Notes:

*1) i kept 'Die Wende' as the term for the political transformation in east germany, not sure what the official english phrase is

*2) AfD, short for 'Alternative für Deutschland' or 'Alternative for Germany' is a right-wing populist political party, often characterized as far-right, known for its opposition to the European Union and immigration

#flake interview #rammstein interview #interview 2020 #again with the marriage analogy #😊#rammstein #flake lorenz

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dragonrajafanfiction · 3 years

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The Yamal Mission

In the first book IV quest of Dragon Raja appears to take place immediately after Luminous is installed as the Student Union President. However, this is not the case in the novels.

In the game, right after you celebrate Luminous’s new job, you are called in for a mission from EVA that will send you on a mission with Johann on the “Luxury Cruise ship.”

However, in the novel, Johann’s mission takes place a full year after these two scenes!!! I’m not sure why they did this, your character in the game should have reflected a whole year’s worth of new dragonslaying experience. At this point, your character is not a freshman, but a student well into their second year.

It also doesn’t make sense that Johann is in charge of the mission when the School Board tends to prioritize Hybrid bloodline over experience. For example, in Book 2, Johann is reporting to Luminous in the Quest to find the King of Earth and Mountains even though Luminous is otherwise inferior in everyway. It makes no sense that on a lesser quest of investigation, he’s your supervisor.

I just wanted to clarify these things to anyone who is going to do these quests in case they become confusing later.

Anyway, below is the translation of the second half of the Story Quest for 118

72 degrees north latitude, Greenland Sea

Under the dark night, the big scarlet boat rushed through the broken ice, leaving a 20 meter wide blue-black waterway behind.

This place is well within the Arctic Circle, and it is in the dead of winter. Although the sea surface is not completely frozen, the floating ice is all over the sea surface. Only this monster-class ice breaker dared to continue to rush towards the North Pole at this time.

The YAMAL, the world’s largest icebreaker, belonged to Russia. Two heavy water nuclear reactors provided it with almost endless power. The thick armored bow can easily smash a 6 meter iceberg. Among the icebreakers in the world, except for a few military monsters who identities cannot be disclosed, only this ship has sailed to the North Pole.

The tragedy of the Titanic will never happen to the YAMAL. What is an iceberg when you can just ram into it? The crew of the YAMAL has always thought about the problem this way, which is why they can’t be hired by other polar cruise companies after they are retired... This group of people might end up driving an ordinary ship into an iceberg just out of habit.

“Hello! Hello! This is the YAMAL. We are sailing on he 72 degree North latitude line. Is there a dear friend nearby who can chat? I hope you’re an American with a sense of humor, ha! I met one German guy before who lived in Munich and he told a really cold joke. I didn’t get it until a week after I went ashore. Everyone thought I was crazy when I suddenly burst out laughing in the middle of a bar.”

A middle-aged Russian captain drank vodka straight from the bottle and yelled into the radio system, as if he were the host of an evening radio show.

The radio remained absolutely silent, without so much as static.

This was par for the course. In this season, there may be ten ships in the world that dared to sailed openly in the Arctic Ocean. At this moment, other ships are either docked at military ports or scattered in other corners of the Arctic Ocean and the most advanced long-wave radio can only call a few hundreds of kilometers out.

In other words, they sail in a dead end space where almost no one can reach. A crew who frequently runs this route can suffer depression if they’re not careful and the best medicine on board for this malady is alcohol.

The captain was just trying his luck after having a drink. If he happened to be able to call other polar ships, usually everyone would change voyage a little and go for a short period of time, staying close enough to each other to talk over the radio for an hour or two.

“Oh! I can’t find anyone to chat with tonight!” The captain sighed, “Then I’ll go to the casino to try my luck, Mr. Chief Officer, this ship will e handed over to you temporarily!”

He staggered out, completely unaware that the first mate entrusted with the task was drunk and had been lying on the steering wheel for half an hour.

The casino on board was magnificent. The warm air was wrapped in the rich smell of whiskey and high-end perfume. The Belarusian girl, standing 5′9″ and wearing high heels acted as the dealer. A waiter who can speak various languages enthusiastically advised the guests to experience the richness of Tibetan wine and hand-rolled cigars from Cuba. A source of enormous wealth has created a small Las Vegas in this lifeless dead-end space.

The YAMAL was originally planned to be used as a scientific research ship, and it assumed the strategic goal of the former Soviet Union to head towards the North Pole. However, after the disintegration of the Soviet Union, this strategic goal also fell into disuse. The hugely-built ship could not be left idle and was put to civilian use, transformed into a luxury gambling ship, cruising on the Arctic Ocean all year round.

The Arctic Ocean is the high seas, you can’t help but gamble. Plus, you can enjoy the polar scenery on the way. So even if the tickets are expensive, the ones for this “Christmas Journey” are sold out.

There are eleven floors on this ship. Six floors have been transformed into luxurious cabins. At the moment, these cabins are full of 1,200 tourists, plus a crew of almost 1,000 people and service personnel. This ship can be said to be a small city floating on the Arctic Ocean.

“Ladies and gentlemen, please look out from the porthole on the left. You will see a medium sized iceberg with a height of more than 25 meters. Anyone who knows ice bergs must know that only 1/10 of the volume of an iceberg will surface. The underwater part occupies 9/10. This means that the height of the entire iceberg is almost 250 meters, of which more than 200 re below the sea surface.”

The navigator’s voice echoed in the hall. “That ice berg is the giant remains of the ice sheet, and feel off the arctic Ice cap 32 years ago and is always floating in the nearby sea. In summer, it will move further north, and it winter, it will be close to the edge of the Arctic Circle. The crew affectionately calls it the “Mary Girl” but as you can see, after 32 years of melting, the once hugeg “mary Girl” has only 250 feet of ice left. This year maybe the last time that Mary Girl will accompany us on our ice sea journey. Goodbye, Mary Girl, we will miss you.”

The wall-like ice cliffs slid past the hull of the cliffs, showing a dazzling blue color The white water fowl stood on top of the Mary Girl, staring blankly at the red behemoth driving by. After that, it floats far away.

Few tourists actually went to see the last side of the Mary Girl. Sexy Belarusian girls, hot gambling games, and mellow wine, kept their eyes on the gaming table.

The captain woke up a bit from the wine, pace to the porthole, looked out and let out a faint puff of smoke.

“Is it like seeing off an old friend?” A very young voice spoke next to him, but it was low with an iceberg-like feel.

The captain raised his head and was surprised to find that there was a young man in a black suit standing beside him, with black hair and an extremely clear face, carrying an elegant suitcase in his hand and a long black bag on his shoulders. He should be Chinese, but his accent is standard American English. The captain had been standing by the porthole for five minutes but didn’t notice when the young man approached him.

“It is, isn’t it? Always sailing in such lonely waters, we give each iconic iceberg a girl’s name in our hearts. Mary is like a bright girl in white, waiting for us in this sea forever. Seeing her, we don’t need to look at the theodolite to know which area of the sea we’re sailing in.” The captain emotionally explained. “So what’s your name?”

“Chu. Chu Zihang.”

“is there anything I can do for you? Mr. Chu.”

“I want to see the captain.”

“Then you are looking for the right person!” The captain smiled and straightened his captain’s hat. “The name’s Sasha Rebarko, Captain of the Yamal. Ready to serve you!”

“No. I don’t want to se you. I want to see the real captain.” Chu Zihang said lightly.

The captain was stunned, a sharp light flashing in his pupils. But it was fleeting.

“How can there be two captains on a ship?” He shrugged. “Only when I am sick and unable to perform the duties of captain will the chief officer take over. As as you can see, I’m as strong as an ox!”

“Your real name is not Sasha Rebarko, but Alexander Rebarko. You were a major of the Alpha Special Forces of the Russian Federal Security Service. After retiring in 2001, you were hired by the real captain. The ship’s technology is actually very rudimentary. This ship is usually managed by the chief mate, but you are a proficient marksman, skilled in unarmed combat, and practiced in using almost all military equipment. So You’re responsible for the security of the ship.”

“You have been married once, now divorced. Your parents live in St. Petersburg. You have a 16-year old sister.” Chu Zihang’s one was steady like this big ship, but the captain’s heartbeat was as steep and tortuous as the icebergs outside.

He subconsciously bent his knees slightly and leaned forward and his hands drew into his sleeves. This was an attempt to grasp the dagger hidden inside, but he felt empty.

This kind of “muscle memory” came from being trained to be very skillful with a knife. Major Alexaner Rebarko, when he was wearing the Alpha Force uniform, he would have had a dagger in his sleeve at all times.

But he hasn’t used the name Alexander in more than ten years. In order to sever his relationship with the past, he took great pains to change. He changed his address, phone number, broke off contacts with old friends and hired hackers to break into Alpha Forces serves to delete all his files. He performed a bit of facial surgery... Since then it was like Alpha Elite Major Alexander Rebarko had never existed in this world and was replaced by senior captain Sasha Rebarko.

Now the past buried by his own hands has been completely restored in the cold and plain narration of this young man, as if he were some sort of guardian angel that had seen his whole like with his own eyes.

Anyone, as long as he has existed in this world, will always leave countless marks, which can not be easily modified.” Chu Zihang finally said. “As long as the Cassell Academy is interested in anyone, they can always be investigated and found out.”

The people around them flowed like water around rocks.

After a long silence, Sasha’s body relaxed from being tight as a bow. He looked at Chu Zihang again. “Cassell Academy?”

Of course, they can’t really use force in such a public space. The offensive posture was just Sasha’s stress response.

Chu Zihang flipped the collar of his suit and showed Sasha the silver coat of arms pinned inside it. On the coat of arms was a huge tree with lush branches on one half and completely withered on the other half.

“I’ve never heard of it, and never seen that emblem.” Sasha shook his head.

“I think the captain may recognize this emblem. I’m referring to the real captain.”

“What do you want?”

“I just want to meet the captain. I know there is a hidden rule on this boat. The person who gambles the most is eligible to go up to see the captain.” Chu Zihang raised the suitcase in his hands. “I prepared funds before I arrived here.”

Sahsa glanced at the sturdy suitcase. The suitcase seemed to be right. High gamblers liked to carry such suitcases, full of two million dollars in cash. Two million dollars is not a lot. Some gamblers have subordinates to help carry a dozen or so cash boxes in and out. But if he just wants to meet the captain, two million should be fine.

“Okay,” Sasha shrugged. “It’s okay to take you to the captain, but I must first wish you good luck.”

“Wish me luck?”

The captain doesn’t like to see outsiders very much. If he sees an outsider and doesn’t like him, that guy will be brainwashed. Brainwashed people end up a little messed up if it doesn’t go right.” Sasha said. “I don’t want you to be so unlucky.”

#Dragon Raja #Novel Translation

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cat-x-riceball · 4 years

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I love all the fruits basket pairings. I want to give my thoughts on every couple and how well they compliment each other. There's obviously going to be manga spoilers.

Let's start with my favourite couple. I do like all of them, though. These are not my rankings.

Kyo & Tohru: They are just meant to be. As everyone frequently says, Tohru is good for anyone. Because Tohru is just wife material - she knows cooking, likes household chores, isn't selfish and self-centered, cherishes and genuinely cares about the people around her, and extremely loyal to the one person she loves. Whereas, Kyo is the one most suited to her. While everyone, including Kyo, got help from Tohru, Kyo was the one who was by her side whenever she needed someone the most. He helped her get over the facts with her dad and made her realize that her dad wasn't the villain. Despite knowing he would turn into a cat, he hugged her, wrapped up in blankets. Oh boy, that was hot. Not only that, they both emotionally support each other. Their characters might be different but they have a lot similarities, and persons like them would probably get along really well in real life. They do domestic work together. They are both morning persons. They both can cook. They are good listeners. They get flustered a lot and are shy. Oh, my gosh! I really need to stop ranting. I will keep on going about Kyoru. So guys, all in all, Kyoru is a perfect couple.

Haru & Rin: The iconic gothic couple. Gosh, their dressing style is fab. I read somewhere in the extra of the author of furuba that Hatsuharu picked up these kind of fashion sense from Rin, before that he used to dress up like Kyo - like wear hoodies, t-shirts and sneakers. That's how much Rin influenced him. On the other hand, Rin started liking accessories made by Haru. I love their influence on each other. Plus, Rin and Haru would do anything for each other. Haru is a natural kind and gentle person, except when he goes Black. Whereas, Rin has a very sharp tongue, but still cares about Haru the most. Rin is probably the best to keep Haru in check since he is a space cadet, god knows what he thinks all the time. On the contrary, Haru is the best to be by Rin's side. As everyone Rin had in her life thought of her as a burden, Haru genuinely cares about her and is stubborn to not her go - that is the exact thing Rin needed. Not to mention, Haru is the type to donate everything to others and Rin is the type to not share anything. Therefore, they balance each other out perfectly.

Yuki & Machi: A messy, sweet couple. They are both so unhygienic, it's hilarious. They compliment each other perfectly. One has a sassy mouth, and another has a sharp tongue. God bless their child! Their understanding is very cool, too. Machi is one of those very few people who saw through Yuki - his loneliness and insecurities. We can see in chapter 136 that Machi is someone who gets insecure with her boyfriend but doesn't try to show it, which is very normal. I mean, if my boyfriend was that good-looking and charming, I probably would handcuff him with myself. On the other hand, the way Yuki expresses his love for Machi is so adorable. When he broke that perfect box of chalk for Machi, I was triumphed with delight. Not to mention, Mogeta is a bridge between their love. I love these two together.

Hiro & Kisa: Young love is beautiful - as long as Akito doesn't interfere. Hiro is a complete jerk, no arguments about that. But I love his personality completely flips when Kisa is there. I laughed my head off in the scene where Momiji texted Hiro for coming to the summer getaway and Hiro was bad-mouthing it, but as soon as Kisa said she wanted to go, he agreed almost immediately. Kisa is a sweet angel; she needs someone like Hiro who would fulfill her needs without getting bothered about it. As we have seen, Hiro is very caring for those he loves - his little sister, mom and Rin. Although, Hiro and Kisa might have some fights occasionally since Hiro has a trash mouth, he crosses the line sometimes. But in the end, they both will apologize for the mistakes and solve it.

Hatori & Mayu: Spring comes when snow melts. Kana is definitely someone who Hatori will never forget, neither will he replace her with Mayu. Mayu has created her own special place in his heart, she warmed his frozen heart once again in her own way. At first, I just wanted someone to love Hatori, no matter who it was - because that guy deserves all the love in the world. But Mayu is perfect for him. She can deal with almost any situation given that she is a high school teacher. Plus, she can understand people well as she deals with problematic children all the time - Kyo, Momiji and Haru. She definitely will understand Hatori and is qualified to be by his side. What to say about Hatori? He's already perfect. I'm glad that Mayu's unrequitable love become true and Hatori's empty heart was once again occupied.

Kureno & Arisa: Age is just a number. I admit their age gap is kinda weird, but its pretty common in the place I live in. I don't really mind as long as there is true love. They fell in love quiet earlier than others, it was fast-paced. It was a mutual love at first sight. Who doesn't love that? If I were to find any similarities between these two, I find nothing too spectacular - they are both dedicated people. Arisa is kinda rowdy, not feminine. On the other hand, Kureno is calm, quiet and the type to go along with anything. Arisa doesn't put up with anything, and Kureno put up with Akito - the worse person to be with. I think their relationship would go really well because Kureno has handled Akito's temper-tantrums for years, so he definitely can deal with Arisa. Also, Arisa would go well with him since he is basically a Tohru to her. They have their dynamics, but in the end, love wins.

Ritsu & Mitchan: When you add two negatives, it becomes positive. Both of them were pretty down towards themselves and were prone to commit suicide. But now having each other in their lives, I'm pretty sure, the thought of dying rarely crosses their minds. As Tohru said, the world doesn't need anybody, it's the people who need each other. They both give reasons to each other to live, that's why they are well-suited. Ritsu and Mitchan are both chaotic, it's ridiculous to watch their panicked reaction in sync. They are pretty shy as well. It's pretty cute. We didn't get to see much of them in the manga and anime so far, I hope we learn how their relationship went. I'm sure they will grow to be more confident.

Shigure & Akito: Jealousy is both love and hate at the same time - that's the exact case with these two. They both hated each other for jealousy because they loved each other - also called complicated relationship problem. I think the method Shigure used to get Akito back was pretty harsh and vengeful, but it serves Akito right for treating the other zodiacs so horribly like they were toys. The thing that bothers me most is - Shigure loved Akito even before seeing her. Its pretty messed up if you ask me. But I'm glad, at the end of the series, they both solved their issues and became dedicated to each other, instead of playing around. But Shigure, you seriously need to stop flirting with other females, otherwise I won't be surprised if Akito divorces you or pushes you off the second floor.

Ayame & Mine: The nonsensical duo. Someone who can handle Ayame is god-tier, trust me. As we all know, Ayame lives in his own little, fantasy world. I'm very curious to know - how did someone like Ayame fell in love? How did he even notice Mine when all he looks at is himself? We will never know. But as long as there is someone out there who can love him, it's all fine. Mine is pretty level-headed and just as crazy as him. She can go along with his crazy, nonsensical ideas. Plus, they are both into creating things. What could be better than having the same interests as your partner? You will never lack a topic to talk about. And it seems Ayame is pretty understanding of Mine. Not to mention, when Ayame told Mine that he was born into this world to love her, I screamed with tears rolling down my eyes - that chapter was emotional as fuck, alright? All in all, I love these crazy duo.

Kazuma & Hanajima: I can't imagine this ship sailing. I love them both individually. I do not ship them. I can't picture Hana-chan as Kyo's mother when Kyo is probably older than her - although it would be hilarious to see them as mother-son duo. If you connect the dots, Tohru would be her daughter-in-law. Hanajima would be triumphed about that. We still don't know how Shisho feels about it. He probably would never marry, considering that might hurt Kyo's fragile heart or so he thinks. But who knows? I love them both as individuals. Hana-chan is gothic fab, and Kazuma is the best fucking dad in the whole series. But if the author wants them together, I won't actually hate it. It's okay, I suppose. As you all know, age is just a number and jail is just a room.

That's it for all the ships. Have I missed any? Do tell me.

I feel bad for Momiji and Kagura. We didn't get to know about their respective partners in the original manga. That's what happens when you fall in love with the main two protagonist 🤦🏻‍♀️

I don't really care much about Kagura because I know she will found someone suitable - I do pity that guy. He would get beaten to death everyday like Kyo.

Momiji needs to find someone who will appreciate his angelic heart and treasure him. I hope he finds someone even better than Tohru - someone better than Tohru might be impossible as she is one of a kind - at least, someone who loves him truly.

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