Here’s the thing.
Many Bagginshield shippers, especially in fics, focus on how Bilbo never got over Thorin, to the point where some describe Bilbo’s life as sad and unfulfilled because of that loss.
Don’t get me wrong: I do agree that he suffered terrible loss and undeserved torment by the Ring. And the fact that he never marries probably does have some connection to the memory of Thorin.
But, y’all, don’t forget or ignore the fact that, in Tolkien’s text, Bilbo does move on from grief and live the rest of his life well.
He does not become bitter from his pain. He retains his kind heart.
He is generous with his wealth, helping in every way he can the very community that ostracizes him.
He sees in Frodo a kindred spirit and takes it upon himself to be the parental figure that Frodo so badly needs as an orphan.
He and Frodo develop an uncle-nephew (really more like father-son) relationship built on trust, keeping no secrets from each other, to the level where he tells Frodo the truth about his encounter with Gollum. (And probably the truth about his feelings for Thorin, too.)
He and Frodo have so much fun, going for walks every day, studying the Elvish languages, and throwing big birthday parties to show the community a good time. It’s plain to see that caring for Frodo filled that massive void inside Bilbo, finally giving him someone to love and devote himself to looking after, after his first chance at that (albeit the first being a different kind of love) was taken from him.
He does not see himself as superior to the lower class despite his riches, and always treats the Gamgees with the utmost respect.
He teaches Sam to read and write.
He tells his story to the younger hobbits, inspiring more of them to want to learn more about the outside world and not be so sheltered and ignorant…an effort which ultimately saves Middle-earth because the Travelers learn from him to be curious and interested in the lands outside the Shire, and he inspires them daily, as they constantly say to themselves “if Bilbo could go there and back again and face great danger, so can we.”
He even learns to love having a tarnished reputation, ultimately taking advantage of being “mad” to play a fun prank.
When he is no longer at rest in the Shire, he gifts Frodo all his property which will ensure Frodo is set for life, and through all his passive aggressive gifts to his relatives, he gives the Gaffer genuinely useful items that he knows will help him, including ointment for creaky joints.
He gets a peaceful retirement among his Elven friends, which he spends writing his memoir so that future generations will know all about his lost friends.
And ultimately, he embraces the special gift of an exception from the Valar and rare permission to set foot in the Blessed Realm for one last adventure, where he will continue to look after his beloved nephew.
And the fact is, he never would’ve gotten any of these things if he’d stayed in Erebor. He would never have developed that special bond with Frodo - he may never have even met him - and consequently, Frodo may never have met Sam.
Yes, a lot of his life was lonely and somber. But much more of it, even after experiencing such a tragedy, was full of love and joy and fun and excitement. He became an invaluable caretaker and mentor to the next generation of hobbits, got a taste of fatherhood, passed on his expertise and his story, and spent his last years surrounded by friends and family.
Bilbo Baggins may have lost the love of his life, but he did not give up on life itself, and he lived a full one. Don’t forget that.
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I belong with my One; Fili x Dúnedain reader
*Author's note*
So this took me a few days to finally get finalized and write down so I hope @futuristicyouthvoid I hope you enjoy this fic. For this fic I've put that instead of Kili getting shot by the Morgul arrow, reader gets shot saving him and ends up getting sick.
Warnings: reader poisoned, near-death experience, some angst and some fluff.
Taglist:
@plethora-of-things
@waddles03
@psychosupernatural
@jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels
@gay-and-ready-to-cry
@queen-paladin
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So much has happened in such little of time. First Gandalf offers me a proposition for aiding a company of Dwarves, then we’re being pursued by orcs, then get imprisoned by the Elven king Thranduil. Now we find ourselves at the mercy of the Men of Laketown.
Thankfully another friend of mine Bard was willing to let us stay the night at his house but of course the Dwarves had to screw it all up by going to the armory to steal the weapons and end up getting caught by the Master of the Lake’s guards. But by some miracle, we were granted the supplies we needed to get us to Erebor to complete the quest before sunset. Of course I knew it was because of the Master’s greediness that he agreed to help, he never was a good man.
“You do know we’re one short, where’s Bofur?” Bilbo asked.
“If he’s not here, we leave him behind.” Said Thorin.
“We’ll have to, if we’re to find the door before nightfall. We can’t risk no more delays.” Balin agreed grimly as everyone began piling into the boat. But as I was just halfway over the plank, I felt a hand stop me.
“Not you.” I turned to see Thorin.
“What?”
“We must travel at speed, you’ll only slow us down.” He told me.
“I’m coming with you all to the Mountain. I promised Gandalf that I would.”
“(Y/n), you have been a big help to me and my kin. The first Ranger to truly stand for our cause. But lately you haven’t been up to par on your health. Stay here and rest, rejoin us when you’re healed.” Just because I’ve been feeling a bit sluggish since the river incident, doesn’t mean I’m helpless.
“Thorin—”
“I will say no more on the matter.” Without another word, Thorin went back onto the boat whilst I had no choice but to sit back down on the docks, feeling a chill suddenly come over me.
“I’ll stay with the lass, my duty lies with the wounded.” Oin said as he voluntarily got off the boat and came up to me.
“Uncle, (Y/n) has done more for this company than any other outsider could’ve done for us. You cannot repay her by leaving her behind.” Fili stepped up for me.
“Fili no.” I told him.
“I will carry her if I must!” Fili argued.
“Fili, one day you will be king and you will understand. I cannot risk the fate of this quest for the sake of a Ranger. Even if she were the only one willing to help us.” As Oin began feeling my forehead for a temperature, I soon watched as Fili stormed off the boat but Thorin stopped him. “Fili, don’t be a fool. Your place is with the company.”
“My place is with her!” he snapped back at his uncle before taking back his arm and came over to me.
“Why did you do that? I thought you always wanted to see Erebor, you told me so yourself.”
“I’ll have plenty of opportunities to see the kingdom in my lifetime, but your wellbeing is more important to me than all the gold in Erebor.” I felt my cheeks grow warm as I softly thanked him.
“And don’t think it’ll just be Fee that’s gonna help you get back on your feet.” We turned to see Kili had also left the boat.
“Kili, you didn’t have to stay behind too.” Fili said.
“Yeah I could’ve gone but it’s my decision too.” He came up to me and stood on my right side. “You saved my life back in the Woodland realm, I’ll gladly do everything I can to help you now (Y/n).” I smiled and looked at the brothers.
“You guys truly are the best friends I’ve ever had. Thank you.” They both nodded and as the Laketown band played a victorious fanfare to wish our friends luck, a sudden dizziness overcame me.
My vision was going in and out of focus and as the crowd cheered as the boat with our friends departed from the docks, I suddenly fell forward, the last thing I heard was Fili’s voice calling my name.
*3rd Person POV*
When (Y/n) had passed out on the dock, Fili cried out (Y/n)’s name as Oin came up and began searching over her body for any trace of an infected wound or trace of blood. Knowing that she had saved Kili from that arrow back when they were trying to escape the orcs on the river, there must’ve been a wound he might’ve missed before they came across Bard.
“OH, did you miss the boat too?” they soon heard the missing Dwarf, Bofur’s voice say. But the moment he saw (Y/n) passed out, his concern grew as he asked Kili. “What happened to her?”
“We don’t know. She just—suddenly passed out.”
“Her fever’s spiking lads. We have to get her help right away!” Oin said.
“Kee, help me out here!” together the brothers lifted her up by her arms while Oin and Bofur got her legs and they walked back towards the Master’s manor to ask for help. After pushing through the guards, Fili cried out. “Please wait! Please, we need your help. Our friend is sick!”
“Sick? Is it infectious?” the Master exclaimed fearfully as he covered his nose with his handkerchief and fearfully cowered behind Alfrid. “Get back! Alfrid, Alfrid don’t let them come any closer!”
“Please. We need medicine.” Oin pleaded. Alfrid walked closer as he sneered at them.
“Do I look like an apothecary? Haven’t we given you enough? The Master’s a busy man, he hasn’t got time to worry about sick Rangers! Let alone this one right ‘ere. All she’s ever done for this town is ruin the Master’s good name and turn the people against him.”
“She’s helped these people in their hour of need! Are you willing to let her die because of your own selfish needs?!” Kili demanded.
“None of our concern. She’s not a paying citizen here, therefore she’s not our problem. Now off you pop! Less we use more drastic measures.” With that Alfrid and the Master shut the doors and the guards ordered them away.
After being rejected by the Master, they tried going to other people to see if they could help but all of them were either too scared to go against the Master’s wishes, or didn’t have enough supplies to help aid her as well as their own sick family members.
With no other options left, the Dwarves raced back to Bard’s home. Knowing of their friendship, they’d hope that at least he could help them. Bofur knocked on the door frantically and as soon as Bard saw them, he sneered.
“No, I’m done with Dwarves. Go away!” he went to shut the door but Bofur stopped him pleading.
“No, no please! Please! No one will help us. (Y/n) is sick.” Bard opened the door further to see his good friend now sickly pale, strands of her hair stuck to her face from the profuse sweating she was doing, and her breathing was now choked gasps. “She’s very, very sick.” Even with the grievance he had with the Dwarves for risking the safety of not only his children but the entire town of Dragon fire, he didn’t have the heart to turn his dear friend away.
“Bring her in.” Bard stepped aside and the four dwarves quickly piled in while Bard quickly looked around before shutting the door. “Put her over there. I’ll see what I have.” Bard went to the back of the house as the Dwarves set her down on the nearby couch. Fili took her hand between his and squeezed it.
“Hang on (Y/n), we’re all here to help you. Just…..don’t go where I cannot follow.” He whispered to her stroking the back of her hand with his thumb. Kili watched his older brother and knowing of his feelings towards the Ranger, he couldn’t help but feel guilty knowing that it was because of his carelessness that the woman his brother loved got hurt to save him.
As the night overcame the lake, (Y/n)’s health was gradually becoming worse. Oin did managed to find a small graze just underneath her elbow. A graze that came from an orc arrow tipped with poison. Already the wound (even for as small as it was) had already started to become infected and the poison was spreading fast.
(Y/n) was tossing and turning, panting as her body was glistening with sweat.
“Nothing’s working! Can you not do something!?” demanded Fili who was growing more frantic by the second seeing the woman he came to love be in such agony.
“I need herbs! Something to bring down her fever.” Bard soon came in with some more supplies and began listing them off.
“I have nightshade, feverfew…..”
“No, no there no use to me. Do you have any Kingsfoil?” said Oin but Bard told him.
“No. It’s a weed we feed it to the pigs.”
“Pigs? Weed. Right. Don’t move.” Bofur said before leaving the house. As Kili was continuing to dab a damp, cool cloth across (Y/n)’s face and neck to ease her of her sweating, a rumble was soon heard coming from the mountain.
“Da?” asked one of Bard’s daughters Sigrid.
“It’s coming from the mountain.” Answered Bard’s son, Bain. Bard had feared the worst, the dwarves had awoken Smaug the Terrible and soon the prophecy would come to pass, the Lake will shine and burn.
“You should leave us.” Fili said as he walked up to Bard. “Take your children, get out of here.”
“And go where? There’s nowhere to go.” Bard told him in defeat. Little Tilda stepped in front of her siblings and asked her father fearfully.
“Are we going to die Da?” Bard looked at his youngest child and assured her.
“No darling.”
“The dragon, it’s going to kill us.” Bard then turned towards a beam just above the kitchen and gripped a thin but firm piece of what appeared to be black iron. He pulled it down from the beam to reveal that it was a Black arrow, the very same black arrow that can only be used to kill the dragon.
“Not if I kill it first.” Bard said determinedly. He then asked his son to come with him while the girls stayed behind with the Dwarves to help take care of their Aunt.
Time passed and (Y/n)’s fever was getting even worse. Her breathing was sharp and panicked and she was now starting to writhe in agony.
“Durin’s beard where is Balin with that Kingsfoil!?” Fili demanded.
“I have the right mind to go out and look for him myself!” Kili snapped.
“You can’t leave! With the guards on patrol, they’ll arrest you too and aunt (Y/n) will never get better!” Bain said. “No one is leaving this house understood!?” hearing the young man take a stand against the Dwarves made them both feel shock and admiration.
“Very well laddie. But I don’t know how long (Y/n) has got left, she’s growing weaker by the second.” Oin said to Bain.
“Tilda, Sigrid, come with me to get more rags and water for aunt Hela.” The siblings soon left while Fili gripped (Y/n)’s hand tighter.
“Fi…….li.” she choked out.
“I’m right beside you (Y/n).” he whispered to her. Slowly opening her eyes she croaked out.
“Fili…..if anything hap-happens to me—”
“Don’t talk like that (Y/n). We’re going to heal you, Bofur’s probably found the Kingsfoil by now, he’s just probably ducking the guards and taking longer. Please don’t give in now.” He squeezed her hand between his. “Don’t go where I can’t follow.”
Suddenly a scream was heard and next thing everyone knew orcs began dropping down from the rooftop or coming in through the front door. The dwarves grabbed whatever they could to fight off the orcs but there were too many of them, and with the tightly constricted area the house provided, there was hardly any fighting room.
Kili got the children to duck under the table and fought off any orc that tried to come close to them, while Oin and Fili worked together to fend off any orc that came near (Y/n). When they thought they were done for, help came from both Legolas and Tauriel who had been tracking down the orcs since they left Mirkwood.
As Fili managed to block an orc’s attack with a kitchen knife, (Y/n) had managed to crawl out of the couch and use a fire-poker to stab the orc through its spine. But she soon let out a cry of agony as she collapsed to the ground, the poison fully starting to overcome her. Eventually, all the orcs were either killed off or had begun to retreat from the house.
“You killed them all.” Bain said as he and his sisters got out from under the table after all went quiet in the house.
“There are others, Tauriel.” Legolas ordered but Tauriel was hesitant. As Oin came down beside (Y/n) and felt around her neck to feel her pulse was slowing down, Fili and Kili came down beside her as Oin said fearfully.
“We’re losing her!”
“Tauriel.” Legolas said to her. She turned back to her prince and said.
“The Ranger has done no harm to us, is there nothing we can do to help her?”
“She is beyond help. I’m sorry, there’s nothing that can be done for her.” Footsteps could soon be heard racing up the stairs and as the two elves prepared for another battle with orcs, they stopped to see that it was Bofur carrying some Athelas in his hand.
“Athelas,” Tauriel exhaled as she took it from him and admired it. “Athelas.”
“What are you doing?” Bofur asked nervously. Tauriel looked into the room before looking back at him and said.
“I’m going to save her.” Legolas’ eyes briefly narrowed.
“Tauriel…..”
“You may go if you wish Legolas, but I cannot leave the she-ranger to perish in such agony. Not whilst she still clings to life and that I now have her only salvation.” The young prince took a deep breath then exhaled.
“What would you have me do?” the two elves raced back inside and Tauriel ordered.
“I need water fast. Get her on a solid, stable surface. Lay her flat on her back.” Every in the room reacted quickly. Tilda gave Tauriel the bowl of water for her to mix the Athelas together, whilst Legolas and the Dwarves worked together to get (Y/n) on the table.
She was screaming and writhing in pure agony, her mouth starting to grow black with the poison.
“Where is the wound?” Legolas asked.
“Underneath her left elbow.” Oin said. Legolas took hold of her left wrist and raised her arm above. But when she tried to struggle, he was forced to also grab her forearm to pin it down and there he saw it. The black graze and he could see the infection had fully spread and blackened her entire elbow.
“Hold her down.” Tauriel said. Kili and Bofur held down her right leg while Bard’s children held down her left. Fili held (Y/n) by the shoulders and Oin helped Tauriel brew the medicine. Once it was brewed, Tauriel cut through the sleeve of (Y/n)’s shirt to get a better access to the wound.
The female ranger appearing like a rapid animal, screaming, grunting and thrashing about trying to free herself. Tauriel took some of the Athelas and began rubbing it onto her hands as she chanted.
“Menno o nin na hon i eliad annen annin, hon leitho o ngurth.” She then placed her hands over the ranger’s wound and (Y/n) let out an agonizing scream. Fili softly shushed her stroking through her hair and whispering in her ear all the while Tauriel kept chanting the spell.
Bit by bit, (Y/n)’s animalistic behavior quietened and then she went still. Her breathing now soft and not as frantic as it had been. Fili looked down at her worriedly and Kili asked.
“Will she be alright?”
“Athelas has powerful healing properties. With time and rest, she’ll regain her full strength. A few more minutes and she would’ve been beyond even with the aid of the Athelas.” Responded Tauriel. The dwarves and Bard’s children breathed a sigh of relief.
“Thank you.” Fili said to Tauriel. She gave him a soft but tight smile as well as a soft nod. Then both she and Legolas left to deal with the orcs.
After her healing, Fili wrapped up (Y/n)’s wound with some bandages and kept vigil at her side. Never before had he felt so scared than he had felt at that moment. Fearing that the woman he had come to become fond of—nay love throughout this quest, he wouldn’t have known what to do had she been lost to him.
“She’ll be alright Fili. She’s strong, she’ll be back on her feet in no time.” His brother tried to assure him.
“I know. But seeing her go through all that pain, all that suffering, and who knows if she even knew she had been hit.”
“Even if she did, she’s got the stubbornness of a Dwarrowdam. Perfect woman for a guy like you.” Fili turned to his brother. “You may try to have hide it from the others but you can’t hide anything from me Fee. I’ve seen how you’ve been looking at her since Rivendell. You care for her more than just as a friend.” Fili sighed and looked down to her.
“I don’t even know how it happened. But after all that we’ve been through, seeing her in a—domestic way. The way she was with her younger cousin, the way the sunlight seemed to reflect off her hair, and the way her eyes shone like jewels in the dark. Kee……I feel as if she is my One.”
“And you should follow through that brother.”
“But would it work? A dwarf and a human? It’s never been done before?”
“Is that what’s really troubling you? Or is it that you fear she doesn’t feel the same way?” Fili remained quiet.
“This quest has shown me that life is too fragile. And at any moment, any one of us can be taken away by any means. I want to tell her my true feelings but—not now. Not while our lives are still in danger. Perhaps when we reach the mountain, I’ll work up the courage to tell her but I—”
“I understand brother. The turmoil that must’ve been stirring in your heart seeing her on death’s doorstep, if you had confessed your love for her beforehand and it be too late to save her……I can’t imagine the pain that would’ve been.”
“She’s too precious to me.” Fili said as he stroked her cheek with the back of his finger. “I feel like if she had died tonight, my heart would’ve died with her. My body may have continued to live on but my heart would never be full again.”
“Take comfort now that she’s alive and that she’s recovering. No more darkened thoughts need cloud your mind anymore.” Kili said as he placed a comforting hand on his brother’s shoulder, gently shaking it. Fili turned to his little brother and nodded giving him a soft smile.
“Thank you Kili. I know I’m supposed to be the older brother here but, I’m glad that you were here to be the one to ease my mind.”
“I’m always here for you brother, and I always will be. Together forever right?” he extended his other hand out.
“Together forever little brother.” Fili clasped his other hand with Fili’s as they pressed their foreheads together, drawing in each other’s strength.
*My POV*
All I remembered was darkness, as well as a voice reaching out for me. Then a bright light and soon silence. I don’t remember much after that but I do remember hearing Fili’s voice along with Kili’s.
“This quest has shown me that life is too fragile. And at any moment, any one of us can be taken away by any means. I want to tell her my true feelings but—not now. Not while our lives are still in danger. Perhaps when we reach the mountain, I’ll work up the courage to tell her but I—”
“I understand brother. The turmoil that must’ve been stirring in your heart seeing her on death’s doorstep, if you had confessed your love for her beforehand and it be too late to save her……I can’t imagine the pain that would’ve been.”
“She’s too precious to me.” I felt something graze my cheek with the most gentlest touch. “I feel like if she had died tonight, my heart would’ve died with her. My body may have continued to live on but my heart would never be full again.”
So did Fili actually feel the same as I have come to feel for him? Oh Fili, I-I love you too. And I do hope that one day I can say that aloud, but for now I was just too weak to even open my eyes. I soon passed out once again but it wasn’t until the sound of giant wings flying towards us had me opening my eyes.
Smaug was coming for us. And he was out for blood.
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