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sanjoongie · 4 months

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𝔽𝕖𝕓𝕣𝕦𝕒𝕣𝕪 𝔽𝕚𝕝𝕥𝕙 𝔽𝕖𝕤𝕥 𝟚𝟜

🥀These prompts are hosted by @thelargefrye and myself, masterlist can be seen here

🥀The following is a month full of Ateez smut. Minors, please do not interact. Various tropes and aus will be utilized as I see fit. This is both a challenge and treat for me as a writing, so I hope you can enjoy it with me!

🥀divider made by @cafekitsune on masterlist and all subsequent posts

𝕄𝕒𝕤𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕝𝕚𝕤𝕥

🥀Day One: Deepthroating- Wooyoung

🥀Summary: when yunho leaves wooyoung to work on assembling the ship himself, you're left to relieve the stress wooyoung has built up

🥀Day Two: Cheating / Creampie- Jongho

🥀Summary: in which you're assigned the alias as Jongho's wife and he takes that pretty fucking seriously

🥀Day Three: Mirror Sex- Hongjoong

🥀Summary: When you chant Bloody Mary in the mirror to get a glimpse of your future husband, you see the Grim Reaper instead, but those aren't mutually exclusive

🥀Day Four: Public Sex- San

🥀Summary: When San comes to you, the local wise woman (read rumored witch), to get a bullet wound dressed, he's also looking to convince you to let him under your skirts, and your heart

🥀Day Five: Dacryphilia- Yunho

🥀Summary: you guide your golden retriever hybrid boyfriend through his first time and you discover you have an affinity for his pretty face when he cries

🥀Day Six: Auralism / Sensory Deprivation - Mingi

🥀Summary: one the full moon, you play a game of Find and Fuck, where you hunt down Mingi with only the sound of his noises as he masturbates

🥀Day Seven: Voyeurism- Seonghwa

🥀Summary: Seonghwa, in pursuit of knowing your body better for breeding techniques, asks if you could show him how you pleasure yourself. The alien soon learns he likes watching you, like all the aliens do

🥀Day Eight: Experimental / Nipple Play- Yeosang

🥀Summary: after an unfortunate accident with your shears, you visit the doctor, only to be surprised by his magic. fate throws you into a blind date with the doctor and then your curiosity gets the better of you when the blind date develops.

🥀Day Nine: Praise / Long Distance Sex- Yunho

🥀Summary: when Yunho calls you one day, drunk and missing you, you let him guide you through some stress releasing phone sex

🥀Day Ten: Hate Fucking - Yeosang

🥀Summary: when you claim that Yeosang was a man of no emotions and Yeosang demanded you prove yourself right, a passionate and hot sex session follows

🥀Day Eleven: Somnophilia- Mingi

🥀Summary: you make an agreement with your incubus friend that he can feed on you, if only while you’re sleeping

🥀Day Twelve: Mommy Kink - Wooyoung

🥀Summary: wooyoung is just a loser guy in the 2000’s and you’re the hot 2000’s girl that’s considering letting him go down on you… at a cost, of course

🥀Day Thirteen: Uniform - Seonghwa

🥀Summary: When your first mate successfully enacts a mutiny, you’re left with one simple task… to be his cum bucket

🥀Day Fourteen: Threesome / Ritual - San/ Hongjoong

🥀Summary: when San and Hongjoong decide to join your valentine’s day ritual, you get the surprise of a lifetime: a threesome!

🥀Day Fifteen: Femdom / Degradation - Jongho

🥀Summary: as the advisor to a strong lord, and the true power behind the powerful man, you often put Jongho in his place. He adores it, including summoning a certain knight to help, among other degrading acts

🥀Day Sixteen: Cockwarming - Mingi

🥀Summary: when you crave some time with one of your busy boyfriends, the compromise turns out to be everything you need with an unexpected surprise

🥀Day Seventeen: Body Worship - San

🥀Summary: San shows that you deserve to be spoiled like the queen you are, and why exactly he was the one chosen to be your first consort

🥀Day Eighteen: Size Kink - Jongho

🥀Summary: When a particular mission causes you to almost tip over the edge from hero to villain, Jongho is the soothing balm to take your stress away

🥀Day Nineteen: Masturbation / Edging - Yunho

🥀Summary: Yunho decides the best way to stop you from beating him in a race to create the best app in a technology contest is to distract you... with his body

🥀Day Twenty: Soft Dom-Sub / Roleplay - Wooyoung

🥀Summary: when you decide the healthy outlet to a rumored lifestyle with your younger lover is in fact to play out a scenario of a woman cheating on her husband with the pool boy

🥀Day Twenty-One: Aphrodisiacs / Overstim - Hongjoong

🥀Summary: Hongjoong accidentally scratches you with his poisonous tail, and the results because of your mating and Seonghwa’s genetically-spiced saliva, are pleasurable for the both of you

🥀Day Twenty-Two: Double Penetration - Seonghwa/Yeosang

🥀Summary: Yeosang is in love with his best friend AND his best friend’s girlfriend. What he doesn’t know is you have a grand Master plan to bring you all together

🥀Day Twenty-Three: Breeding Kink - Wooyoung

🥀Summary: when you took Wooyoung in as a stray hybrid, you didn’t think about triggering his rut

🥀Day Twenty-Four: Pegging / Feminization - Mingi

🥀Summary: Mingi got all dressed up for you to fuck him with your strap-on

🥀Day Twenty-Five: Free Use / Spit Play - San/Seonghwa

🥀Summary: a new club is opened in the Choi’s territory, your newly required husbands, in your honor and you arrive with Seonghwa and San in order to christen it properly

🥀Day Twenty-Six: Tentacle sex - Yunho

🥀Summary: an incubus thinks you’re a tasty witch snack as a widow, and it’s about to turn your day around

🥀Day Twenty-Seven: Cuckolding - Yeosang/Jongho

🥀Summary: not every couple purchases an android just for the purpose of cuckolding your husband, but it was well worth it’s weight in crypto credits

🥀Day Twenty-Eight: Predator-Prey / Strength Kink - Hongjoong

🥀Summary: when you and your gaming friend learn about a glitch in one of your favorite games, you exploit it on an erotic level

🥀Day Twenty-Nine: Gangbang - ot8

🥀Summary: as the office pet, your duties after hours are completely different

#joongfryefff24 #topaz's work #ღatz #ateez smut #kim hongjoong smut #park seonghwa smut #jeong yunho smut #kang yeosang smut #choi san smut #song mingi smut #jung wooyoung smut #choi jongho smut

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mika-no-sekai-blog · 13 days

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Word count: 2000

Warnings: none

Part XXII | Part XXIV

The first night sleeping alone in your cottage didn't turn out well. Horrors of your past reappeared and you had to again watch getting your mother killed. It was that kind of dream you couldn't wake up from even though you wanted to, and you probably made too much noise.

"Y/N," slightly hoarse, but soft voice called for you, cold and wet snout touching your face. "Y/N."

Even without opening your eyes, you knew who it was. Hot tears slid down your face, uncontrollable sobs the only sound breaking the silence of the night. The nightgown soaked in cold sweat, stuck uncomfortably to your body. You were trembling. One heavy paw touched your forearm, then gently embraced you. The snout sniffed your face and cheeks, licking your tears away with small cat-like licks.

You moved closer to him, hiding your face in the fur of his neck as you held onto him. He didn't speak, your name and a few short simple words were the only thing he managed to say so far. But under your cheek you heard the frantic beats of his heart. He was probably worried. Your throat was sore as if you screamed for a long time. You must have scared him.

"I'm sorry," you sobbed. He shook his head and made a small whimpering sound. Tamlin moved, carefully climbing into your bed. The old bed creaked under his weight. He was so huge that only a small space was left on mattress for you. You two had to huddle together to fit in, but you didn't mind. He tugged you closer, holding you with paws as best as he could in this form, you hugged his torso.

This helped, his closeness and warmth scared the fear away and eventually you calmed down enough to fall asleep again, lulled by the sound of his rhythmic heartbeat and deep breaths.

You opened your eyes and looked around the foggy rose garden. You knew this place, you already visited it once in your dream. Without hesitation you headed to the pedestal where you found Tamlin last time. This time it was empty. You wanted to call out his name, but your throat closed up and no voice came out. You tried it again with the same result.

You slowly twisted around, hoping to see him somewhere nearby, but instead your eyes landed on a sprawling tree with low branches. It definitely wasn't here last time. There was something you couldn't explain, that drew you to the tree and so you followed your instinct. The tree seemed to be very old, its trunk was covered with soft green moss. Sighing you ran fingers over it and a few drops of a dew rolled all the way down to your wrist.

"Why are you crying, Y/N?" Well-known voice came from somewhere behind the tree. You hurried there, expecting to find him sitting down between roots. What a disappointment when you didn't find anyone. Did he play a hide-and-seek with you?

"Why are you crying, my pretty rose?" A hand reached down from a branch above your head, his long fingers wiped a tear off from your cheek. Your gaze snapped up in surprise. There he was, half lying half sitting on the branch, looking down at you. Tamlin looked sad, his emerald eyes dimly shining in the shadow.

"You're awake," you breathed out. His face still reminded a cold stone of statue, but there was a hint of life in his eyes.

"Have somebody hurt you?" His mind seemed to be just as hazed like the last time, but at least he was awake now.

"No.. it's just.. a memory.."

"Memories," his glazed eyes were gazing to the distance straight through you. "I have a lot of painful ones. Like the day you left.."

"I've returned," you squeezed his hand lingering on your cheek. "Do you hear me? I'm here with you now."

"No one comes back to me.." his voice was deep and cold now. You wanted to object, but the dream faded away.

You woke up in embrace of strong arms holding you on a naked broad chest that gently brushed your cheek with every breath. You were still tired. Sleep was the only thing you craved now, luring you to the world of dreams once again. You closed your eyes, pressing into the warmth of the smooth skin.

Wait!

Your eyes snapped open wide, your hazy mind cleared.

Hands? Chest? Skin? Could it be?

You abruptly sat up. Tamlin groaned in his sleep, his face half hidden under the messy strands of blond hair. His hands reached for you, trying to pull you back down.

"No, Tamlin, wake up," you pushed against him, overexcited with the sudden improvement.

One emerald eye cracked open a bit, gazing up on you. With another groan his long form curled around you, naked as the day he was born. You gasped, your face, ears and even neck set ablaze. You tried to avoid looking down where you could feel his manhood pressed to your hip, the thin nightgown hardly a barrier between you.

"Tamlin," you stiffened. His name came out in a high pitched tone.

Finally, he woke up. As soon as he noticed the state of his body, he fled from the bed and taking the pillow with him, he pressed his back against the wall and the pillow to his intimate parts. He watched you startled, trying to find his voice.

"It's okay," you stuttered, looking everywhere but him. "I ..saw nothing."

He blinked and fought a smirk that threatened to spread on his face. "I know," he rasped. Even though he could speak again, it seemed to cause him problems.

"Do-does it hurt? I mean your throat," you asked. Meanwhile you took a spare blanket from small basket at the foot of the bed, offering it to him. He accepted it with a small smile. You turned to the window and looked out to give him privacy. It was cloudy and windy morning, although you didn't notice any of it. Your mind kept swirling around the expanse of smooth skin you just saw and quite impressive length you felt.

"A little bit." He touched your elbow. Carefully you looked back at him. The blanket was wrapped around his hips, too low and showing too much of his skin, but it was better than before.

"I'll brew you a tea that will make you feel better. When Lucien comes I'll ask him to find you some clothes, but until then this have to be enough."

"Thank you."

His eyes roamed over your body as if he saw you for the first time after a very long time. You felt too underdressed and too self aware under his piercing gaze. You crossed arms on your chest in a poor attempt to hide at least something.

You cleared your throat. "I-I think I should change," you choked out, nervously fidgeting.

However Tamlin didn't move a bit, his eyes still fixed on you. You swallowed hard, your heart rate increasing. He took the last step that separated you, and swept you into a tight embrace. Your lungs filled with a rain and earthen scent, the most comforting smell ever. Pressing his nose to the crook of your shoulder, he shakily inhaled.

"It's really you," he murmured. "I thought I just dreamed you out."

Your heart melted at those words and you hugged him back. "This isn't dream. I've returned."

He stilled. "How long can you stay?" he whispered, his voice dull.

"As long as I want," you laughed.

His body relaxed. "Thanks the Mother," he sighed. His embrace tightened so much you couldn't breathe.

You patted his shoulder. "Tam, I can't-.."

"I'm sorry." His grip little bit loosened. "Is this okay?"

"Yeah."

His fingers tangled in your hair, stroking them lightly. "I missed you," he rasped after a while.

"Really?"

"Really."

"I missed you, too," you whispered in a small voice. "So many things happened.."

"Did.. did he treat you well?" You knew who the he was.

"Well, yes. They all were kind to me. My brother especially." There was probably something in your voice that wasn't so convincing. You felt a small sting at your back as Tamlin's claws came out.

"Uhm, I apologise," his hands fell down from the small of your back, untangling from your hair and he stepped back hiding them behind his back. You stopped him, pulling on his wrists and entangled your fingers with his. It felt so right that you had to smile. He seemed to be confused.

"I hoped you would come to see me," you swallowed, smile disappearing.

"I-.. I couldn't," he looked down to his bare feet, ashamed.

"I know, so I came to you."

Tamlin kissed the back of your hand, pressing it to his cheek. "I dreamed about you often. So often that I sometimes couldn't tell the reality from dream," he admitted.

"I had a few vivid dreams, too. They helped me at times."

He frowned. "Helped?"

"Yes, I didn't remember a thing until recently. It was hard to adjust to so many strangers and unfamiliar house and everything at first. It got better when Rhys helped me with the memory loss."

A muscle twitched in his jaw. But before he could say something, the door downstairs opened and closed.

"Are you awake yet?" Lucien called. "I've brought some fresh bread for breakfast and even picked up some of those herbs you use in tea."

Tamlin gave you a tight smile that promised you would continue another time. You nodded.

"Give me a minute," you shouted. Tamlin left your room, so you could change. You thought he would go down to talk with Lucien, but when you opened the door, he stood there waiting for you.

You found Lucien seated at table, swaying on the back legs of chair, hands behind his neck.

He turned to you with fox-like grin, some teasing remarks already on the tip of his tongue. When he saw frowning Tamlin with hands crossed on his bare chest standing behind you, his eyes widened. He lost balance and fell down, hitting his back and head hard enough to see stars.

When he was getting off the ground grunting, you started to laugh, immediately followed by Tamlin's deeper laughter. Lucien muttered something about naked beasts, gentlemen and ladies and winnowed away. In few minutes he returned with arms full of clothes. While Tamlin dressed in your room you prepared breakfast. Lucien, of course, helped you.

"How did you do that?" he muttered with undeniable interest.

You shrugged. "I did nothing. When I woke up in the morning, he was already.. back."

"I knew that you could help him, but I've never even imagined that he could improve so fast. He was.. completely gone. At this rate I think soon I'll be able to return to my friends. They already miss me, you know."

You wished you could say something, but there was nothing. You've grown fond of him these past few weeks. He was easy going person, chatty, funny at times, it was hard not to like him. But he had his own life to live. You knew he wouldn't stay forever.

"What is that face for," he teased you. "Already miss me?"

You rolled your eyes and grinned.

Fortunately, Tamlin was back and could speak again. You wouldn't stay alone with nothing to do and haunted by your past.

A single thought of your High Lord and the sight you got that morning made your pulse quicken and cheeks flush. When he returned dressed in simple green trousers and white shirt you almost spilled the tea you were setting on the table. You wondered what had changed. Why your body started to react to him like this so suddenly.

Unable to come with any explanation, you seated down and stuffed your mouth with bread that Lucien brought. The three of you ate in unusual silence.

Taglist: @impossibelle @sevikas-whore @b0xerdancer @ladylizzieofdarbyshire @tele86 @mybestfriendmademe @nocasdatsgay @yunloyal @nebarious @isabiss @st0rmyt @lilah-asteria @ubigaia @paleidiot @acourtofimagines @harahettania

#english isnt my first language #tamlin fanfiction #tamlin x reader #tamlin acotar #tamlin #pro tamlin #lucien vanserra #lucien acotar #acotar #acotar x reader #sarah j maas #acosf

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distortionbobble · 5 months

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this is just a silly little warm up drabble to get me back in to writing but.... modern!anakin as the fun but lowkey deadbeat dad and you, the kids' babysitter after he divorces padme is haunting my brain. this is a little different from my usual writing style so if it's a flop everyone close their eyes ok thanks

warning there's no actual infidelity here but it's a little iffy it's a little close. as per usual minors dni

you know he's not the best dad. really, most of the time he just feels like a kid that never grew up. he's childish, snappy, and if you ask him who leia or luke's teacher is he's got no idea.

but man does he love those kids.

you started off as padme and anakin's babysitter; a bandaid to padme's problems with a marriage that's falling apart. she's exhausted, tired of taking care of two tiny seven year olds that are a little too good at getting into trouble. you'd know, you've seen it yourself so so often.

when anakin comes home, he gets to be the fun parent. always away on business trips or whatever-- and you know he's not cheating, he's too faithful to their marriage to do that-- but it doesn't change the fact that he really isn't doing much around the house.

padme doesn't confide to you often but when she does, over a glass of wine after the kids are tucked in and some thriller from twenty years ago is playing on their flatscreen, she tells you things. about their dead bedroom, created mostly by the fact that she can't stand anakin's touch anymore.

and you sympathize with her, you really do; he needs to do more chores around the house, he needs to stop contradicting padme when she gives a consequence to the kiddos and back her parenting up. he's making her the villain in the kids' eyes, you hear her!

but... you don't fully understand how she's able to keep her hands off of him. if you were in her position, you'd probably feel the same, but you're not and anakin skywalker is really. fucking. hot.

but that's none of your business.

until they've divorced. anakin's moved out but the kids are over there the weeks that he's in town and not on business trips. you come early one day, forgetting that the kids come home later on wednesdays, and anakin's in the garage, slid under his car, fixing something that you don't care about right now.

what you do care about is that he's shirtless, with motor oil streaked across his abs, his skin glinting in the afternoon sun and you want to lick it off of him. you should look away, should feel some type of shame, but you don't.

you only realize that you've been ogling him when he slides out a little more and laughs at your sight glued to his body, putting on a show of gulping down water and letting it fall messily. you can't help it, you watch the beads of water trail down his chest, down to his happy trail, and you have to hold back a whimper because dammit, you want him to bend you over the hood of his car and fuck you.

"d'you wanna come in?" he asks, getting up to turn off his music. some blend of early 2000s rock that fits him a little too well. "kids aren't home," anakin says. you don't have it in you to say no.

you're not sure what exactly started everything, but it doesn't matter when he's got your legs spread, has you leaning on the back of the couch and his face is buried between your legs, sucking on your clit and fucking your hole with his tongue. you can feel his nose drag against your labia, and it feels so good you have to hold back the whimpers and moans with your hand clamped to your mouth.

at this, anakin's just laughing at you, teasing you, "when was the last time you got laid, baby? just seein' a little skin got you this worked up?" and you can't manage a word back, distracted by the feel of him and the anxiety of needing to get this done to pick the kids up from the bus.

anakin's not worried about time, tho. he knows he can make you cum in five mins, that's all. and he does. by the time you're finished, his face is fucking soaked, and you'll be more than lucky if the neighbors didn't hear.

doesn't take much convincing after that to start coming in earlier on wednesdays.

#smut #my writing #anakin skywalker x reader #anakin x babysitter!reader #modern anakin skywalker #divorced dad anakin #modern star wars smut au #star wars smut #anakin skywalker smut #distortionbobble's fics

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tenjikubaby · 2 years

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rindou may break his enemies’ bones but never ur heart <3 <3

alternatively titled, “projecting everything my last relationship lacked on imagined romantic scenarios with rindou”

What’s it like having Rindou as your partner? Gender-neutral HCs

#2 Best Boyfriend Rindou. Dependable. Affectionate. Secret softie.

➼ Rindou lets you listen to all his mixes and always asks what you think. He’s always excited to share them with you. Be honest but also hype him up, would you? He values your opinion so much. If you happen to love something he made, he’d be so, so happy.

➼ He could remix your favorite song, maybe make an original mix inspired by music you like. Maybe you could work on something together if you’re a musician.

➼ When you’re sleeping together, he tends to roll over so that you’re under him and just stays there. So in the morning, you wake up to a whole Rindou on top of you. He’s warm though, and honestly I wouldn’t complain.

➼ Let’s say you’re the one who patches him up after he and Ran return from a fight. This guy would exaggerate his pain so you’d baby him more. (“Oh no, my poor baby! Where does it hurt?”) Either you fall for this act, or you know what he’s doing but choose to give him what he wants anyway. Ran would witness all this and just roll his eyes.

➼ Would talk your ears off if you’d let him. Rindou has A LOT of stories to tell and he’s always excited to share them with you. He’s the type of person that, while telling his stories, would stop in the middle and say “Wait, wait. Before that, this happened,” and it’s adorable! But he’ll soon notice that he’s been talking too much. He’d say a sheepish sorry and asks about your day. (Note: It’s adorable how he shared two stories on his CB3 profile)

➼ He may talk a lot about himself and his experiences, but he is NOT the type of person to just let you finish and bring the topic back to him. Conversations with Rindou are always fulfilling for the both of you. You’re also free to talk to him about whatever! He loves to hear you talk about your interests as well, and loves when he learns new things from you.

➼ He’d try to get into your interests so you’d have more stuff to talk about or do together. If you’re a reader, he’d ask for book recommendations (though I don’t really see him as someone who reads. If any of the Haitani brothers read, it would probably be Ran). He would pick it up and constantly update you on his progress.

➼ Expect A LOT of gifts on your birthday. A huge plushie? Yes. A cake or any dessert you like? Got it. A handwritten birthday letter? It’s there. A book, movie, or video game you’ve been wanting? Rindou remembered, and he got it for you. He never gives just one gift.

➼ When he tried to make you a birthday cake, it was so dry and the frosting was so sloppily done. Ran saw and tried to help but he somehow made it worse and it looked like it was about to fall over. So they called Kaku over for help. Kaku helped them turn the failed cake into a cake pop bouquet while Izana watched and ate frosting. Rindou still owes him one.

➼ Since TR is (mostly) set in the 2000s, I just thought of burned CDs! Rindou makes playlists for you and burns them onto CDs, which he would write little notes on. You do the same for him and he keeps all of them in his CD shelves to play whenever he misses you.

➼ Kiss him out of the blue! Maybe do it while he’s talking or focusing intensely on something he’s doing. Do it, because it always makes him smile and you get to see his dimples. (Imagine Rindou with dimples? Waaaaaa ang guwapo :”) ) He’ll give you a kiss or more back.

➼ At night, if you’re not together, he calls you before bed to talk about how your days went. If your day was pretty uneventful, Rindou just rambles on about how his meeting went, something Ran did, or other stuff he might want to share. He’d say “good night” and “I love you” before hanging up.

➼ If you’re interested in fitness, that’s another thing you and your boyfriend can bond over! He’ll assist you through difficult exercises. Have you seen partner workouts? You’d definitely do those together. And if you’re okay with it, you might even do those partner workouts where the couples... kiss 😳 (It ends in a makeout session)

➼ Once Ran likes you enough, Ran might ask Rindou to invite you over for dinner. Rindou is then subjected to the torture of his of his brother showing you all his baby pics and sharing embarrassing stories from when they were kids. Rindou wanted you to get along with Ran, but not like this :(

#tokyo revengers headcanons #rindou haitani #rindou haitani x reader #tokyo revengers x reader #tenjikubaby

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gen15gg · 6 days

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okay SO! these r a bunch of creloise fic ideas i came up w on the train ride home from uni bc am i not jus a girl who overthinks? w all the time in the world?? on a train???

so fair warning this is a LOT, but at least ik the old man sittin next to me was fairly entertained so u win some u lose some i suppose lmao 😭

- i def wanna see more 2000s or 90s AUs cuz duhhh i would love a little line ab them havin specific ringtones for each otha on their silly little flip phones (id cry if i saw this)

- OR OR OR clubbing scenes, meeting on the UNDERGROUND OMG!!!

(the trains that go under ldn for the americans idk if u lot kno what it is sorry, it’s like NYC subway??😭)

.. anyways cressida could always notice eloise reading something and tries to talk to her by either reading the same book or one journey jus offering the book “emma” (LIKE IN THE SHOW GUYS?!?) as a good read before she gets off on her stop OMDS and/or eloise always noticing cressida’s fashionable-ness for a fùckin 9-5 (yes cressida would be giving office siren absolutely) and maybe if the tables are turned, cressida is reading and eloise notices this and suddenly sparks up conversation bc she simply cannot shut her mouth (and replaying all the times she’s seen cressida in new outfits like the montage scene of anne hathaway in the devil wears prada LMFAO) n every tube journey they encounter each otha on, they go back n forth on their opinions on which eva book they’re reading atm OMGGGG n maybe on valentines one of them gives the otha a rose or a book before they get off SOMEONE RESTRAIN ME MY BRAIN IS WORKING OVERTIME 😭

- would also love to see more modern AUs in general like yes i loooove seein this pairing in different time periods, adapting to the ideas and limitations of that era MWAH to everyone who has been writing these i love you - let me kiss u on yo fùckin cranium MWAH !

- imagine a 1920s jazz girls creloise like idk who would be a jazz singer (maybe cressida??), havin them be in ‘flapper girl’ attire.. IDK id jus love to imagine them in that environment perhaps smoking from those thingies that held the cig itself

- not to stress this too much (i am) but i wanna see them as a 90s or def a 2000s famous pairing!! like both are singers!! i mean cmon cressida would hav an unbelievable stage presence w her amazing outfits we’ve seen in the show itself and eloise would be more punk-ish i suppose!!

or eloise remains a singer and cressida is a model?! but in both situations it’s like they despiseeee each otha or at least eloise does of cressida bc of her overall appearance and the message her looks send (i.e. similar to bridgerton era blah blah expectations etc)

but then they hav to date as a publicity stunt to push down rumours that they hate each otha or maybeeeee penelope is a news outlet they’re trying to get the jump on by going ‘noooo we don’t hate each otha we’re actually dating!’ (they do hate each otha but they fall in love obvs)

or penelope is one of their publicists and has set this up??.. or they’re forced to write a song together IDK this can go any which way but i was inspired by the song “maybe” by emma bunton as a song cressida would DEFINITELY sing OR “let me see” by Morcheeba

man idk Cressida jus gives me the vibe that in this AU she could be equivalent to kylie minogue or a brit pop icon of sorts regardless or Kate Moss if u went w the cressida as a model version AND MAYBE ELOISE AS A PHOTOGRAPHER??? IDK!!!!

- also NEED NEED. NEEEEED. a MR n MRS SMITH AU OF THEM!!!! like omdssss

(im referencing the original film w angelina jolie but go wild if one were to write this, which most like won’t happen but oh well 😭)

but omds the tension that would be between them both !!!! like eloise fits the playful goofy but intelligent character of mr smith, whilst i can most definitely see cressida in the role of mrs smith! trying her utmost best to keep things calculated and goin according to plan but (as u kno if you’ve watched the film) eloise will ruin this calculated streak she’s got 😭 OMDSSSS i can jus imagine their banter as they fight

- uhhh fuck me a surfer AU??? why not atp i’d love to see it where either teaches the otha to surf?? or it’s one where eloise is the one travelling around instead of colin (lmao #white girl goin on holiday to find herself) or w him as this would be a modern AU n she meets cressida somewhere in the mediterranean (bc cressida was sent away by her father) n yk sparks and whatnot ensue 🤭

or omds a rendition of that mermaid movie ‘aquamarine’ ??

- YES OMG A MERMAID AU GODDAMN WAITTTTT ELOISE ESCAPING PATRIARCHAL EXPECTATIONS BY PRETENTDING TO BE A PIRATE AND FALLING IN LOVE W MERMAID CRESSIDA OR THEYRE BOTH PIRATES??? LIKE ANNE BONNY AND MARY READ!!!

- jus had the biggest brain moment on this train ride me thinks… flowershop AU..

specifically an ‘imagine me & you’ AU. cressida had married some man ?? could be Debling to get her parents off her back but then falls in love at first sight of eloise the florist as she walks down the aisle to get married

omg i’m literally jus askin for creloise as ‘imagine me & you’ bc why not i think it’s adorable 😭

ANYWAYS!!! that’s ova but if anyone has any more ideas i’d love to hear them bc i hav serious brain rot from this pairing who will prolly not get togetha </3

#creloise brain rot real #very sorry this is so long #let me have fun #creloise #cressida cowper #eloise bridgerton #eloise x cressida #cressida x eloise #bridgerton #bridgerton season 3

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jayalaw · 6 months

Text

Fanfic: If Death Note Happened in Discworld And Vimes Went Up Against Kira

@forthegothicheroine, thank you for this idea!

Let's be real, Terry wouldn't have pitted someone like Kira against Samuel Vimes because Kira and Death Note came out in the 2000s. We also don't have that many stories with supernatural killers that go after the guilty.

But let's suppose what the Discworld novel would be...

Death finds himself working overtime. He gets annoyed when seeing random criminal getting offed, because it is more than usual. There are the usual plagues and wars and holiday depressions, but this doesn't fit the pattern. He knows that no plague causes just a heart attack. The hourglasses are rattling in his realm. It is a disturbance.

Meanwhile the Thieves Guild and Assassins Guild send representatives to the Watch. They're here under truce. Someone has been killing off their licensed thieves and killers. The Assassins don't have proof, but only the "criminals" of the city have been targeted, the ones with licenses. Somehow the unlicensed ones and those that can hide in the Seam get away with their crimes. It is something political.

Vimes asks the obvious question: why not go to Vetinari? He handles the politics in the city. Because Vetinari would say it is a police matter. Someone is violating the law by committing murder, and refusing to answer for it. They can't figure out how, and know it's not the wizards at Unseen University doing experiments because it's not their style. Wizards are chaotic and frivolous. This is too orderly, too...cold.

The guilds are scared. The heads wouldn't admit it, but Carrot, who is sitting in on the meeting, can sense it. He and Vimes note twitchy fingers that would rather be penciling in burglary dates or shooting targets. The guild heads are not scared of death itself, but that someone wants them all dead, and they don't know the reason. There has to be a reason.

Vimes considers everyone in the Watch, and who may be best for the task force that he promises will investigate these deaths. He knows that magic exists; heck, they have a zombie on the Watch. Death also has had many near-Vimes experiences with the commander. Something is going on. If this is someone killing criminals, without letting them stand trial or respecting the laws that he fought to respect, it is someone that has no Inner Watchman. Vimes knows how easy it is to slip into justifying killing of the innocent. He has to uphold the Guarding Dark.

Reg Shoe becomes head of the task force. Vimes reasons that if the killer decides to go for the cops, they can't kill someone who is already dead. Reg is an intimidating face, someone who has long refused to die. When the Times show up for a quote, Vimes uncharacteristically tells them that he will be leading the task force to investigate these killings. It's not a lie; he is the leader of the Watch, and he is in charge of Reg Shoe. Vimes also orders that Igor is put on the Task Force.

Light Yagami in this world would be from another town, one where he has seen the dark side of broken justice systems. His father is the commander, who has maintained a consistent order. While Light wants to join his father on the side of the law, he does have a penchant for magic. So he attends Unseen University, on a scholarship that he earned with his studies. Classmates notice that he fills his dormitory with apples, more than a person can eat. He has a single, so no roommate can wonder why he's not sharing his cider experiments.

Ankh-Morpork is Light's testing grounds. In this version, he is smart enough to not kill that many criminals on his home turf. Sure there were a few. After all, he didn't know if he was forfeiting his immortal soul. But now he knows that no one can trace the campaign back to him, ever. Plus, the common thieves and vandals are barely older than him. It doesn't feel sporting to go after petty theft when that person may still turn their life around.

Susan is teaching at finishing school. She also reads the Times during her breaks. The newspaper has taken to reporting on arrests and society figures. She notices the large amounts of death reported. Susan's lip curls as she reads about heart attack after heart attack. Her grandfather will not be pleased. Sure enough, the raven and Death of Rats knock at the door. Death has Binky at the moment, so no horse rides for Susan this time.

She is very vexed by this. The more that Susan uses her powers, the less human she becomes. But she senses a malice to these murders.

Albert and Susan reconvene in Death's realm. With Death working overtime, he's barely had time to visit. Susan notices some haphazard cat beds. Albert explains that Death has been building stuff again, and thinking about pulling kittens out of time, so they will stay young and loved. Susan makes a mental note to visit more often, so that Grandfather is less lonely.

What could be causing the theories? An instrument of a shinigami, Albert believes. Shinigami, or death "gods" as Albert explains, are only a concept. Some cultures do worship the dead, and they believe in gods to make them less scared of it. In the case of shinigami, they are meant to represent the fears that some people have of death, that it's a terrifying thing. If a wizard believes in a shinigami, then they come to life. And they may be able to work together, if a shinigami gives a wizard his tools. That would be quite a dangerous bargain.

Susan remembers when someone stole Death's sword and tried stabbing her through the stomach. She shivers. Grandfather would never give such a powerful weapon to a mortal. There's no telling what they would do with it. Even when she borrowed Binky or used the sword, she was always very careful.

Albert tells Susan that Death needs her in Ankh-Morpork. He needs human eyes on the ground, to find the shinigami and his tools. Susan protests that she has a job, and kids to watch. It's not like the world is ending. Albert indicates the rattling hourglasses. Maybe the world isn't ending, but it will suffer some cracks in reality. Susan returns to her job, pondering. She hopes that Grandfather is okay.

This isn't a world of modern technology. Light has no access to television news or radio that would tell him who is a killer and who isn't. His father had been experimenting with adding photographs to arrest warrants. Photography is such a remarkable technology, one that allows you to see faces, even from a great distance away. And with newspapers, you can attach names to faces.

In Ankh-Morpork, Ryuk tells Light about the shinigami eyes. He can find anyone's name and face. All he has to do is give up half his years on the Disc. Light smirks and says that he isn't giving up half his life when he plans to be ruling this Disc, with rules that will make life better for the commoners and enforce proper justice rather than compromises. Besides, he doesn't have to know who everyone is, just who is in jail or accused. The Thieves Guild has an open record, with names, and the Times likes to keep photos of them. He also knows that wizards are good at scrying and seer work. Light manages to make a crystal ball that allows him to watch over the city. He may not have names yet, but he does have faces. One name and face led to him getting the ledgers of the thieves in the Guild, as well as the assassins. It's a waiting game, in-between his studies and new job. Plus, Ryuk's love for apples keeps him on a leash. He has promised to kill Light last, when the game is over. Light has to keep entertaining him, but also knows when to withhold apples.

The Times in the meantime is reporting on the murders, or as they're calling it, the "Hearts Epidemic". William De Worde is also seeking student correspondents from Unseen University. When Light Yagami volunteers, and shows interest in learning photography, it seems like a miracle. Light is charming, diligent and hardworking. His columns about the Unseen University happenings please all parties by hinting at the experiments going on, and discussing student life. The young journalist also knows his football. He reports accurate sports and stats.

William gets wind of the Watch's theory that this is some supernatural killer. He asks for ideas from the newsroom about what moniker to give this killer, for an image that strikes both fear and fascination. Light keeps quiet, as the other journalists toss around ideas. They mention the killer may be a human, dwarf, elf, or even an Igor. Every Igor and Igorina worth their salt has experience working with the dead. Gaspode comes in with information; because Light cannot believe that a dog can talk despite having a shinigami next to him in the room, Gaspode senses all is not right.

When Moida is chosen, from the Seam pronunciation of "Murder," Light very much wants to wince. He would have chosen something far more grandiose. But he is the new columnist, and it's better for no one to notice him. He also knows that the Watch has been asked to look for this series of killings, and investigate.

Light has no plans to kill Samuel Vimes. The man is a father, with a loving wife and a young toddler. Plus, both father and son are named Sam Vimes, according to the society papers. He doesn't want to kill the child by accident when writing the name in the notebook. Light has some standards.

Ryuk pouts; Light is no fun. Light stands fast, however. Children are off-limits. and he has other ways to entertain the shinigami.

Vimes is not pleased that this killer has been given a name or profile. He had just mentioned it was a task force. The Times always exaggerates, because they want people to buy stories. Still, it could be worse, and Moida gives the illusion that the killer may be from the Seam. Vimes considers if a poor person would be killing this many thieves and assassins; he dismisses the thought because the thieves leave the poor people alone, and no assassins go after those in the Seam. Still, it's a red fish, like in the books Young Sam has gotten into recently. Red fishes always point the reader in the wrong direction.

Carrot sometimes checks in on Death as a witness. This time, he brings some material for the cat tree, scratchy material that will entertain furballs no matter how it's mangled. No one asks questions when he approaches the hospital's terminal wing with a carpet that has seen better days. Death may have mentioned his latest creative project the last time that Carrot talked with Death about another case, about the murder of a witch in the Seam. Carrot had remembered to bring Death's favorite blend of tea that time. Death is technically not supposed to offer this testimony. But he likes tea, and he is perturbed by this many deaths by heart attack.

The game is on, to find this killer. Susan reads the news, and patrols the cities at night when she isn't teaching her kids, watching for thieves that suddenly drop dead. Light wishes to find out who in the Watch is investigating, and takes whatever information that William can squirrel out of Vimes. Vimes insists that he is the one in charge, and doesn't want a wizard near the station when William asks if the Unseen University is going to provide their input on the case. Deputizing the Librarian was a one-time necessity.

Reg and Igor find the pattern: all of the criminals who were killed were on record. They were on the ledgers, and the assassin and thief in charge of each ledger are also dead. They didn't die of heart attacks, though; the assassin in question had slipped in a rain puddle and broke his neck. The thief had tried a burglary and got trapped by a suffocating chimney.

The coppers consider this. It doesn't add up; assassins are trained to be careful. No thief employed by the guild would get caught in a broken chimney. Whoever is doing these killings is smart, and dangerous. They also aren't limited to heart attacks.

It has to be magic. And there are few witches in Ankh-Morpork, with none having a body count. Their suspect is at Unseen University. Most likely a student from this year, because the killings only started with the term.

Now we can't go into every particular shenanigan that Terry would write here. Or this fic would never end. But a game of cat-and-mouse would start, as Carrot also makes inquiries at the university, and he is willing to talk to the press when needed. Moida alas cannot infiltrate the task force, even if he asked his dad for help. Sam Vimes does not believe in connections to get on the force, unless he has absolutely no choice. This time he has a choice. Light has to rely on his scrying since Ryuk refuses to help. Apple bribes and blackmail do not push Ryuk that far.

It comes out that Moida can't kill more than a few members of the watch; Carrot has a dwarf name and a human name, and Moida only knows his human name. Plus, Carrot and his family often misspell their last name. All of those spellings -- and none-- are correct. There are only so many variations that Moida can try to write. If only he knew that Discworld narrative causality protected Carrot. The same goes for Reg Shoe and Igor-- Reg's heart has long since stopped a while ago. And trying to kill an Igor, when they are all named Igor? Good luck with that. The Death Note has no effect on any of tPlan Bhree men.

Moida goes for Plan B: the werewolf. Everyone is certain it is that watchman Nobby Nobbs. Werewolves are easy to manipulate with the power of scent and suggestion. So he writes Nobby Nobbs's name in the notebook, imagining a great beast that will do his bidding. If all goes well, the werewolf will get the names of the folk on the task force who are mortal with only one name, and all the information that the Watch has on Moida. Then the beast will rampage through the city, and has to get shot.

Moida is smart, but he got the wrong person. And the Death Note cannot make impossible deaths happen.

When Nobby collapses on patrol, Susan notices because she is also patrolling. She realizes that there is magic, and manipulates time to try and save Nobby's heart. It doesn't work, and Grandfather appears. It's time for Nobby Nobbs's reaping.

"It's not fair!" Susan bursts out. "He was just...walking! Doing his duty!" Why would the murderer go after him?"

"That's what I want to know," Nobby Nobbs says, scratching his head. "Not saying I have a strong heart, but it's supposed to be stronger stuff than this."

Susan sees the magic trail on the body. It's faint, but it leads her to Gaspode. Gaspode tells the strange lady that if she has a good meal for him, he will be a good boy and tell her what he has noticed. She asked what he thinks of children's biscuits. He loves them, especially warmed by the fire.

The Watch is morose without Nobby Nobs; coppers expected to die saving people, or putting out fires. Vimes arranges a pension for Nobbs's girlfriend, and his family. Reg makes sure to tend the man's funeral. Now it's personal; Moida went after one of them.

There is also one unfortunate side effect of getting rid of the Thieves Guild: burglary increases, almost as it to spite Light's idea of justice. Less trained assassins who were unable to train with the guild are trying their hands at botched killing. The Watch has to work hard to protect the innocent, and to ensure Vimes has time to spend with young Sam. Ryuk can't help but rub it in that Light's campaign for a world with more order and less crime has only caused more chaos, that he is spreading fear that he cannot control. Light insists that it's part of his plan. It's not like Ryuk has noticed anyone following him, like when Ryuk spotted the dog Gaspode begging Light for treats. Light did feed the dog but told him to clear off; he had studies.

Gaspode is a dog of his word; he leads Susan to where the magic scent trail ends, at an Unseen University's dormitory. The biscuit crumbs on his snout, he confides that he smells the same magic at the Times. Confused, Susan thinks that no journalist at the times is skilled in magic and the vampire there likes photography more. Gaspode mentions that a wizard student joined the staff, before he goes to play with some drunken students that are delighted on seeing a "puppy".

Ryuk spots Susan first. She realizes what he is, but cannot see his weapon, and they are both invisible. He presses a finger to his lips, indicating Light studying at his desk. Susan considers, for Nobby Nobbs. She can sense the magic rushing out of him, the ones that is making the hourglasses rattle. Susan swears she can see the bolts dancing through the air, past the windows. More deaths, more criminals dying by heart attack.

Bingo; Susan has found their killer, and his shinigami. But she doesn't know the weapon or how to confiscate it. Even if this boy left for classes, he could take the weapon with him, no matter how she searched his dormitory. Ryuk could easily rat her out; she knows that look of mischief. He has been letting all this chaos happen, with no remorse. Grandfather was never that careless.

Susan sighs. She will have to miss classes again tomorrow. Albert will know about shinigami weapons, in Death's realm.

Of course, Susan is not the only informant who has spotted these issues; Gaspode has not returned to the Times yet. He reports his findings to Angua, while asking if she's still going to marry Carrot. Angua shoos him away but considers.

Angua and Vimes debate: they have the word of one informant, and no murder weapon or motive. From what Vimes can see in university transcripts and the Times, Light is a bright young man. He seems genuinely concerned with the welfare of others. They could try arresting him, but the proof is not strong enough. If they are wrong, the Watch will have betrayed its code.

Vimes decides on his riskiest plan: invite Light to the Watch house and properly interview him for being a copper on the Task Force as he wished. Identify him for any tells, and see if Angua can smell the magic on him, or the Moida murder trails. It could be really dangerous, having a killer right in that space.

Sybil fortunately has a more sensible option: meet with Light for tea in a public place. She can watch Young Sam, and her husband won't be risking the Watch's lives. The Patrician has a particular teahouse where he likes to go with Mr. Fusspot. They love dogs there.

Light is so surprised that Vimes has changed his mind, and considers the Watch is onto him. It was bad luck that the Death Note didn't work on the werewolf. He has a pocket-watch where he keeps pages of the Death Note. Ryuk may snigger that he's willing to kill a child, but Light has other plans.

Angua is the perfect watchdog for Vimes, lying down for a seeming nap under the table. She notes the pocketwatch doesn't match those of typical wizards, and her ears do not hear any ticking. Perhaps that is the weapon. Light clutches it.

Susan is also there; Gaspode had come to inform her, in exchange for biscuits, where the boy would be the next day. She needed to know, after she and Albert concocted a plan.

The chaos emerges when Vimes asks Light what his father thinks of Moida. Soichiro Yagami, according to Light, believes that Moida is a spoiled teenager, affluent who does not care about other people. He has been disgusted by the sheer amount of death. Light knows that this lie will hold because it is based in truth. He also has plans for an alibi: more deaths during this outing, spread out into the Seam. Only a few names from scrying, but they would be enough.

Vimes admits that the loss of Nobby Nobbs has been hard. Moida went after a good man, and for seemingly no reason. Light seethes internally, thinking how a good man was against his campaign for true justice. But he asks what Vimes thinks of Moida.

The Commander doesn't have to wait; he chooses his words. He says that he has seen good men die for the wrong reasons, and bad men live to an old age. But when you have the power to kill someone that cannot fight back, and you slaughter them anyway, you are evil. No inner watchman can save you.

Angua does not bite, even in werewolf form. But when Light under the table slips paper out of the pocketwatch, she doesn't have to think, just grab it with her teeth and pull. She hears laughter and witnesses the shinigami, as well as the stern woman who appears in the tea shop screaming "Albert, NOW!"

Somehow, they all end up in Death's realm. Death is there, looking at the hourglasses. Albert has finished the summoning ritual, the reverse of the one that he used to summon Death.

"THIS IS UNFORTUNATE," Death says, looking at Light. "YOU HAVE BEEN CAUSING ME A LOT OF TROUBLE."

Ryuk cackles and Light glares back.

"I'm doing you a favor," he says. "I'm making a world based on justice."

Angua has the pocketwatch in her teeth, the proof. She doesn't dare change back. The shinigami is eyeing her with fascination. She can now smell him.

"A world where criminals fear an early death is not justice; it creates a reign of terror," Susan says. "You had the power of someone's life in your hands, and chose to take it, over and over again. Like a child frying ants with a piece of glass."

"Your father would be disappointed in you," Vimes remarks, thinking of Young Sam. He will have to do all he can to ensure his son never becomes a killer. Sam is still in his poo phase, so that had to be a good sign.

Light of course has another trump card: his other notebook pages, that he has hidden on his person. He attempts to write in them, for Sam Vimes. He knows that name, and he will finally kill this man. What does it matter if he kills the child with the father? Soichiro would understand, this need for a new world. His father would want one that dominates justice.

This time he doesn't make it that far; Susan whacks him with the haphazard cat tree that had ladders floating in the middle. The scratchy carpet leaves marks on Light's face.

"I WORKED VERY HARD ON THAT TREE," Death declares.

"I can tell," Susan panted. "It still is holding up when knocking down a killer."

Light has carpet fibers stuck in his cheeks. He cannot believe that he got taken down by a cat tree. Susan confiscates the rest of the notebook pages. She observes them, the names written, and figures it out.

"Even if you had written something down, it wouldn't have worked," Susan says. "You can't die in Death's realm. That's why Albert and I brought him here."

"We need those, Miss Death," Vimes says. "It's evidence."

"I'm not Death," Susan says. "He is."

"Then what are you?"

"I'm family. But you should touch these pages."

When Vimes does, he sees the shinigami. He blinks and stares at Ryuk, who waves.

"The shinigami," Albert says.

"A GOD OF DEATH THAT IS FEARED," Death explains.

There is probably going to be some argument about who has jurisdiction over Moida and Ryuk, and Death calling out Ryuk for abusing his powers. He says that death is meant to be a part of life, and manipulating those events out of boredom is very beyond the pale. Ryuk says that he is no different from other shinigami, and that he has never had to pay consequences for his behavior. Death reminds Ryuk that shinigami, unlike other manifestations of death, can also cease to exist if they break rules about how to save humans. And he has Ryuk's hourglass in his hand.

Vimes insists that the death god and Light need to be booked. They have proof that he killed the guild members and those that held their ledgers. Death retorts that they are too dangerous to go back to the Disc. Light has tasted the power of a god. And they have not just violated mortal laws but also established rules of their world. Light may try to grab an extra scythe or hold hourglasses hostage to save himself, but Susan and Albert take care of him.

Somehow it ends with Light and Ryuk being trapped in their hourglasses, and Vimes reluctantly makes Death a deputized member of the Watch, since Death can be everywhere, while acknowledging that Light will face justice outside of Ankh-Morpork's jurisdiction. They have a larger pocket space so it's not inhumane, but they are prisons. Ryuk can no longer have his fun and is dealing with boredom, while Light has time to think about the consequences of his actions. The Unseen University accepts his involuntary withdrawal, because expulsions are rare and embarrassing for all parties involved. Vimes can think about if he wants to break the news to Soichiro, from one copper to another.

Vetinari isn't surprised by all this. There is always an upstart that thinks they can rule better than him. The Assassins and Thieves Guild start to rebuild, though it is going to be a while before all the burglaries and botched assassinations die down. And as Susan put it in Death's realm, Light may claim that he is a god, but he is a boy, like boys who fry ants and wasps with glass. She meets many children like him in her governess and schooling days.

Everyone is still mourning Nobby Nobbs. He was a good copper. Angua visits his grave, apologizing for making him a target. Reg tends the grave.

So Light would get his ass kicked on the Disc, while causing lasting consequences. But he doesn't die, as he feared. He and Ryuk face something much worse: an eternity of boredom, while knowing someone is watching them.

#discworld #death note #discworld fanfic #samuel vimes #angua von uberwald #susan sto helit #Discworld Death #Light Yagami #Ryuk #fandom #Discworld Albert

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shipcestuous · 20 days

Note

Okay, I come back with the third part of the ask! I have MORE amazing news, isn’t it great?

First of all, the best news for me is I have found yet another wonderful incest movie I have been looking for so long!!!! It’s called «Madame Solario». Hear me out, this is REALLY exiting, as it’s a French costume drama based on a book. Actually, there’s even an article called «“Saint Brother and Saint Sister”: The Motif of Fraternal Incest in Gladys Huntington’s Madame Solario» (here’s the link to the article https://dspace.uni.lodz.pl/bitstream/handle/11089/38892/PJAS_vol7_2013_Alicja_Piechucka.pdf?sequence=1&isAllowed=y)

Here’s where you can watch the movie with English subtitles: https://tubitv.com/movies/100007671/madame-solario

Secondly, I went over your «Not available in English» list and tried to look for the subtitles. I actually had luck with some of them!

Der Kuss Meiner Schwester

Here are two links where you can download subtitles for this movie (it’s two different subtitles)

https://www.opensubtitles.org/en/subtitles/9593069/der-kuss-meiner-schwester-en (those are, I think, made by machine translation. I watched with them and they’re enough to understand most of the movie)

https://www.avsubtitles.com/subtitles.php?subid=16862&revid=20230717000859 (not sure about those, whether they’re made by human or machine, maybe a native English speaker would realize better than me)

Already after I found those subs, I stumbled across a comment on your wordpress under the post about this movie. I attach the comment in a picture, just in case if you haven’t seen it, because the user provides some information. (the subtitles they mention are the same as the ones from OpenSubtitles)

Syskonsalt

So, indeed, there are subtitles on OpenSubtitles for this movie: https://www.opensubtitles.com/en/subtitles/syskonsalt-2000-swedish-vhs-tvrip-xvid-movieboys-en (Those, I assume, are made by a person)

Lunnye polyany (2002), also known as Les clairieres de lune

Once again I watched it before in Russian and I even have a fanvid about them! (promoting myself while I can lolz https://www.tumblr.com/familyromantic/705637767270531072/this-is-the-only-russian-film-about-incest-that?source=share) But now all of you can watch it too. I can say it is not a light watch and it has a dark, depressed atmosphere, but there is some sort of doomed love beauty as well. BUT I warn you that I have only seen the movie in a HORRIBLE quality, sadly.

Link to the subs: https://www.avsubtitles.com/subtitles.php?subid=18021&revid=20230827220208

Taboo: The Soul Is A Stranger On Earth

Three subtitles, but I glanced and they look the same lol (could be wrong)

https(:)//www.opensubtitles.org/en/subtitles/10009196/tabu-the-soul-is-a-stranger-on-earth-en (just delete the parentheses, I added them because Tumblr didn't like this link lol)

Additionally, not related to subtitles, but I want to let you all know I have Bror 2019 in HD if someone needs it (got it from a Swedish site with VPN). ALSO if any of the links I provided don’t work for someone or anything, I have it all downloaded, so contact me and I’ll send it to you. Or if you want to combine a movie and subtitles, I can do that too.

I think that’s all, that was a long ask for real :)

[x]

Thank you for going through that not-available-in-English list! I'm pleased to be able to remove so many titles from it.

Do you happen to have any download links for Madame Salario? Having it on Tubi is so great but I like to archive the hard to find incest movies if I can just in case they get removed from streaming. It sounds like you do the same.

I did see that comment about Der Kuss Meiner Schwester. I downloaded the subs right away but haven't checked them against the video file I had. I didn't want to start partying until I was sure they fit and made sense and everything. I actually couldn't download the Syskonsalt ones originally but your link worked for me so thanks.

While we're on the topic, this movie, Yellow, is actually in English but has proven impossible find: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1588898/?ref_=nm_flmg_t_9_act. Has anyone managed to see, or better yet download, this one?

#asks #familyromantic #der kuss meiner schwester #syskonsalt #madame salario #Lunnye polyany #taboo: the soul is a stranger on earth #source #r: brosis #canon #new canon #list: canon

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rohittechnoindia · 1 year

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when my best by his first smartwatch only @2000

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littlest-nightingale · 2 months

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Clara sighs. Sometimes, being a teacher is difficult- especially when she has to read what may be the world's most nonsensical, incorrect, poorly written essay that has ever been written, and not call her student a dumbass. Seriously, how do you only have 12 sentences in a 2000 word essay? Why is there no intro paragraph? How does a 14 year old misspell "you"?

She leans back in her chair. She's probably used an entire red pen on this essay alone- she's not even halfway done yet. A break, she figures, is well deserved.

She had lost track of the Doctor a while ago, which was a bit concerning considering that last she knew, he was regressed, but she trusted him enough that she wasn't worried about him blowing something up or somehow breaking the TARDIS.

The Doctor wasn't very high maintenance when it came to regression. About an hour ago, before she sat down to do her work, she had sat him down on a blanket with a sensory board, a few small toys, and his pacifier, and left him to his own devices. In hindsight, maybe she shouldn't have put him behind her so she could watch him, but in her defense, normally he stayed put.

"Hello?" Clara asks. The only response she gets is a series of beeps and boops from the TARDIS. "Not you, where's the Doctor?" The TARDIS responds with another beep, as if to remind her that she can't really answer that.

"Right." Clara huffs. She stands there for a moment before pivoting on her heel and walking down one of the corridors.

The TARDIS is huge. Honestly, getting lost in here is way too easy- and the complete lack of signage definitely wasn't helping. She knew she wasn't his first companion. Had none of them complained about the absolute labyrinth that was the TARDIS hallways?

About half an hour passes before she finds herself back in the console room, which she hadn't even known she was heading for. Feeling slightly confused, she heads back down the hallway, only to pop up in the same place again. And again. And again.

"You're doing this on purpose, aren't you?" she asks the TARDIS. Still, it can't respond with much more than a few beeps and boops.

Clara huffs. "This isn't funny y'know."

Beep boop.

"I'm serious."

Boop beep.

Clara groans. "You're going to let me find him this time, alright?" she says, in her best disappointed teacher voice, as if the time machine was able to feel ashamed.

Beep beep boop.

She gives the console one last glare before heading back down the corridor. If she would've listened, she would've heard the playful giggle from behind her.

"Okay, seriously, this is getting annoying." She says. Behind her, someone- the Doctor, actually, erupts into a fit of amused laughter.

Clara spins around. "Have you been there the entire time?" She asks.

The Doctor nods. "Hiding."

"You were hiding, and doing a very good job of it!" She responded. He was sitting on a bean bag next to her desk, looking rather cozy under his favorite blanket while aimlessly fiddling with a rubix cube.

"Silly." He says.

"You are very silly, Doctor." She says, crouching down to his level and booping his nose affectionately.

"No." He says, booping her nose in return. "Silly."

"I'm not silly!" She gasps, bringing a hand to her heart in mock offense, illiciting a chuckle from the Doctor.

Clara smiles. "Okay, maybe I'm a little bit silly."

#I'll post this on ao3 later lmao #sfw age regression #agere #fandom agere #doctor who agere #more little 12. for u

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sunburnacoustic · 1 year

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Muse full gigs

Some full shows that are available, for anyone who wants to partially relive the Muse live experience.

I figured no one's made lists in a while.

La Cigale, Paris By-Request gig 2018

youtube

rarities + I guarantee I'm gonna fuck up Space Dementia + water spitting + Matt and Dom playing Grammy hosts in the way they announced the winners of the by-request polls

Some cool and noteworthy gigs:

Live Lounge 2012

The Mayan 2015 (performance wise this gig was stunning)

Royal Albert Hall 2008 (Teenage Cancer Trust charity gig - Megalomania on the pipe organ!)

Reading Festival 2011 (10 years of Origin of Symmetry - played the album start to finish)

AOL Sessions 2006

Reading 2006 (Muse's first time headlining if I remember right. Plus, Matt's moves!)

Glastonbury 2004 (first Glasto headline and a must-watch! Of the iconic mad-scientist, white lab coat era. Muse had called it the best gig of their life so far, at the time) (*Ruled By Secrecy was played live but wasn't included in the concert footage DVD and isn't in this video upload either)

Montreaux Jazz 2002 (height of piano maniac-ery days. Would also recommend Pinkpop 2002 but they don't. have. the footage anymore :( Space Dementia at Pinkpop 2002 was phenomenal. 2004 is also good, but I never found 2002 again. Speaking of which,)

Pinkpop 2004 (most songs are in, a few performances missing unfortunately)

MCM Café 1999 (marvel at what a good live act this young band aged 21 already was—with about 4 years of gigging experience under their belts. Insane how good they are.)

Wembley 2007 (H.A.A.R.P. The first band to sell out the newly rebuilt Wembley Stadium. 90,000 people. You need to understand, seeing Chris lift up and point his bass at the crowd at the end of the slightly modified Jimmy Jam riff before Time Is Running Out was a religious experience that changed me and we're lucky enough to live in an age where you and I can witness it over and over and over again and I'd suggest that you do)

Rock Am Ring 2018, uploaded to the Internet Archive by the Muse Historical Society!

Austin City Limits 2013 Philipshalle 1999 Philipshalle 2001 (all suggested in notes, check out the crystal clear gifs from @hotbellamy! :O )

A few additions I remembered after publishing: Eurockeennes 2000 (opened with a then-unreleased New Born. Matt playing a full gig in red sunglasses. Treat to watch. Link's stretched up to fit modern screens but if you want a bit of clarity and don't mind the late 90s ratio stretch, here's a different link) 2002 (quality's a bit shit but that is literally what telly used to look like)

Shepherd's Bush Empire 2006 (Early gigs are always interesting because over time Muse develop different ways of playing songs that are fresh off new albums. The way they work through Take A Bow live is a bit different here, Dom's the one controlling the opening verse synths! During the Abso tour, Matt would play that bit on the piano as an intro to Space Dementia and if I'm remembering right, he does now on the pianos (correct me—this was on the ST tour as well). Also, Starlight in Bm at this gig)

Rock Werchter 2023 (Muse play Rock Werchter in Belgium almost every year, except for the pandemic and 2012 I think, but this year's was a bit special. Best performance of Madness I've seen in a while, I love what he does in the outro! MOTP returns to the set. Muse had tech troubles at the end that caused them to restart Knights of Cydonia twice, to no avail. They finally cut it back for a guitar-bass-drum-vocals-only performance of Showbiz, and Matt's voice sounds exceptional on it— the best in recent years)

Bizarre Fest 2000 (BLESS SOMEONE HAS RESTORED THIS FROM VHS TAPE IN HD, this is so much better than back in the day!! If the falsetto at 1:13 doesn't do it for you, you're into the wrong band, nothing else will help. What an electric performance this was!)

Gigs from WOTP 2022/23 festivals tour last summer:

Nova Rock Rock In Rio Ejekt Fest Isle of Wight Hurricane Festival 2023 (a festival at which Matt once complained that Muse's set was cut short by... hurricanes. But the audio mixing at this gig was really good!)

These are in no particular order, and obviously not complete, I just realised no one had put together a gig archive in a while so I thought I'd give it a stab!

Will edit and add others whenever, there are obviously glaring omissions still!

#gig archive #muse band #muse live #there was this ridiculous 360 cam footage of Reading 2011 and for some reason that was the only one I could find.#That was years and years ago of course so I'm thrilled to have a proper and full recording of this!#Youtube #for anyone that wants to get extra into the spirit before your gigs lol #muse #muse gigs #muse full gigs

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barbex · 7 months

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Happy DADWC! Could you write a scene with “I’m better when I’m with you” between whatever pairing you wish to write? :)

Catching up with the backlog tonight for @dadrunkwriting.

Thank you for this prompt! I made it fenders again, I'm predictable like that, and I managed to keep it under 2000 words, just barely. Go, me!

---

Anders steps out of his cabin. Not quite his cabin, he's been assigned to live here, in the line of sight of the guardhouse in front of the gate. It's not quite freedom, but it's better than a dungeon or the Circle. Varric made that possible. As viscount, he ordered Anders to be under watch but not locked up.

He should be grateful. He is, of course, he gets to see the sun set over the sea and watch it rise again in the morning; he has a garden to tend to where he grows elfroot and other medicinal plants. People leave him alone for the most part, the guards even protected him a few times from angry citizens, who wanted to hang him on the next best tree for his crime. Lucky for him, there's few trees this close to the coast tall and sturdy enough to hold his weight. He probably owes the protection to the fact he healed one of the guards when he stepped on a rusty nail, and that the other officer is Donnic.

It still surprises him that he has friends from the time before. Before he removed himself from everyone, pushing them away to protect them. Justice had been his only friend, but now he's gone. Anders still doesn't know how it happened, but when Meredith died, burning up from inside from the poisoned lyrium, they both felt the pull of the Fade and Justice followed it. There wasn't even time to bid him farewell.

He is alone now, but that's how it should be. He was supposed to die; he expected Hawke to kill him, and what could be more lonely than death? But Hawke let him live. It's only fitting that he is now alone, not burdening anybody.

In truth, he isn't always alone, Donnic visits him for tea and brings him books, Merrill visits him, telling him about her projects in the alienage or brings him new patients. Even Varric comes around occasionally, and a few people leave the city to find their way to him and ask him for healing. The desperate ones, or old friends who knew him in Darktown.

The afternoon sun hangs low in the sky, soon the first autumn storms will begin, and Anders gathers firewood in his arms to carry into the cabin. He isn't surprised when he hears footsteps coming up the path behind him, Donnic often comes over around this time. He turns to greet him and the firewood falls from his arms.

It's Fenris.

He hasn't seen Fenris in more than a year, not since he sailed away with Isabela and Hawke. He should say something, anything really, instead of gaping at him with a piece of wood in his hand. But before he can find his words, Fenris frowns and turns around, stomping away, further along the path towards the city gate.

A little while later, Donnic knocks on his door. "Hello, bet you can't guess who I've just met."

Anders piles logs into the nook under the fireplace. He turns to grin at Donnic. "I would win that bet and that wouldn't be fair. I saw Fenris too."

"Damn, I thought I would win for sure."

"Win what?" Anders laughs. "Firewood? Elfroot? I don't have much to offer."

Donnic settles down on a chair and pours himself some tea. "It would have been symbolic. Did he talk to you?"

"No, he just glared at me." Anders pours himself some tea and sits down at the table. "Pretty sure he didn't expect to see me alive and is now on his way to Varric to complain about that."

Donnic chuckles at that. "You're thinking too bad of him."

"No, I think I'm just realistic, but it doesn't matter, anyway." Anders stretches his arms and looks up at the low ceiling. There's a burn mark from when an experiment went wrong. "If he comes back to kill me, there's nothing anybody can do."

"Don't say that, he won't kill you."

Leaning forward, Anders fixes Donnic in his gaze. "Just promise me you won't get in his way. He's too powerful, don't risk your life by fighting him."

"Now, wait a minute —"

"Promise me."

Frowning, Donnic studies his face as if to make sure that Anders is serious. "Fine. I promise."

"Thank you." He lifts the lid to check the can. "More tea? I can make some more."

"I'm good, thanks." Donnic drains the rest of his cup. It clinks when he puts it back on its saucer. Such a luxury, cups with saucers. He never had that before in his life.

For days, nothing significant happens. Fenris doesn't show up, Donnic hasn't seen him either, and neither has Merrill, which is not surprising. But she heard about him being in Kirkwall. It's maddening to know that he's there, inside of the walls, so close, but still as far away as Seheron. Anders is not allowed to go into the city.

One day, Anders has finished all his tasks for today and settles down with the book that Varric sent him, there's a knock on his door.

"Come in, is it an emergency?"

The door opens. "It is not."

Anders sits up and nearly drops his book. He would recognize this voice anywhere. "Fenris." He closes the book, putting it on the table at his side. No need to get bloodstains on it. He even pulls the bookmark out, he won't need to know his place in the story anymore. Waiting, he looks at Fenris, steeling his heart against his anger. Fenris has every right to be angry, it's expected, but it's entirely unfair that he still looks so beautiful, even with his face half hidden under a hooded coat.

After what feels like hours, Fenris still hasn't said anything and Anders bites his tongue to stop himself from filling the silence with chatter. He used to do that, all the time, but he tries to listen more and chatter less.

"Anything I can do for you? Would you like some tea? Merrill brings me all sorts of teas and —" Glowing eyes under a deep frown turn to him and he snaps his mouth shut. Less chatter. It's a work in progress.

At last, Fenris speaks, his deep voice filling the tiny room. "Why are you here?"

"Me?" Anders looks around. The cabin is barely large enough to fit the bed and the table with two chairs. "I live here. What are you doing here? You came across a lonely shed and thought to check if a mage hides inside?" He grins, it feels like old times, banter, jokes, but another look at Fenris sobers him up quickly. Fenris is not here to make jokes. Anders wipes his hands on his shirt and gets up. "We should go outside."

Fenris steps out first, just because there isn't enough room for letting Anders go past him inside the cabin. "Do you want to look at the sunset?"

"It's poetic, isn't it?" Anders turns his face towards the setting sun, blinking against the light.

"You always enjoyed watching the sunset."

Anders looks at Fenris in disbelief. "I had no idea you noticed that."

"We were intimate," Fenris says, his voice halting on that last word.

Smiling to himself, Anders nods. "Yes, I have not forgotten. Doesn't mean you had to notice things about me."

"It is difficult not to notice you."

Anders avoids looking at Fenris, at reading anything into the things he says. They kissed, they had sex, they almost had something like a relationship, where they would drink tea together in the morning and talk. That didn't happen, but it almost did. He stayed the night, once. Just once, before he realised he brought danger to anyone who knew him.

A dead man shouldn't have friends.

The sun turns a dark red as it touches the horizon. He lets out a long breath, calming his nervous heart. "Why are you here?"

"I thought you were dead." Fenris lets the hood of his coat fall back and closes his eyes. Anders can shamelessly look at him, at his beautiful face, glowing in the light from the red sun, watching his lips as he speaks. "I thought if I wandered enough, if I saw enough places, I would find what I was missing. But I did not."

"What were you looking for?"

Fenris opens his eyes, pinning Anders in his gaze. "With you, I was better, I felt better. I felt complete. I was searching for that."

Anders' knees buckle, he grabs for something to hold on to as he sways. Fenris takes his arm, steadying him. "You're not here to kill me?"

"Why would I want that?" Fenris' hand tightens around his arm, painfully.

"Many people want me dead. It would be just." Anders stares at Fenris' hand on his arm, the familiar sharp-tipped gauntlets pressing into his skin. "All of this is temporary, I'm well aware. If Varric gets called away or someone else becomes viscount..."

Fenris notices his gauntlets shredding Anders' shirt and pulls his hand away. "I apologise."

"It's no problem." Anders rubs over his arm, missing Fenris' touch.

"Can you accept I do not want you dead?"

Anders lets out a helpless laugh. "At the very least, you should hate me."

"I do not." Fenris opens the buckles of his gauntlets and pulls them off. "I thought I did at first. I was confused and angry, I felt abandoned. You... the way you turned away from all of us, from me..."

"It was safer that way." Anders hardens his expression and turns back to the cabin. "I don't ask for your forgiveness. I don't expect you to understand, but —"

"But I do." Fenris' gauntlets clatter to the ground. "I do understand."

Anders turns back to him, a shadow against the last rays of sunlight, his face hidden. "What does this mean?"

With quick steps, Fenris closes the distance, takes his face in his hands, and kisses him.

After a second, Anders' brain catches up. Fenris. Kissing. Wrapping his arms around the elf, he can't suppress a whimper, and kisses him back like his life depends on it.

Lingering on his lips, Fenris breathes in. "I've missed you. I tried to ignore it, but with every mile the ship put between us and Kirkwall, I missed you more. I just did not understand, at first."

Anders leans back to look into Fenris' eyes. "You missed me?"

A smile lingers on Fenris' lips. "Is that so hard to believe?"

"I do not... I didn't dare..." Anders tries to breathe, but his chest hurts. "Someone like me can never..." He tries to step away, but strong arms pull him back, hugging him tight and he finally lets the tension fall from his shoulders and buries his face in Fenris' neck. "You're here, for me."

"Yes, mage." Fenris cards his finger into Anders' hair and holds his head. "Stop hating yourself."

"I don't know if I can," Anders says. Something shatters inside of him and he can't help but cry, making Fenris' shirt wet.

"Anders." Fenris' voice is incredibly gentle. "Can we go inside?"

Wiping his face, Anders nods, leading him inside.

He cries some more as they sit on Anders' bed. Fenris holds his hand and he keeps staring at it, not quite believing his eyes. They fall asleep like that, Fenris holding his hand, Anders' head tucked under Fenris' chin. In the morning, they will have tea together, like people in a relationship do. Anders still won't quite believe it.

#dadrunkwriting #fenders #Fenris #Anders #fenders fic #Fenris x Anders #dragon age #dragon age fanfiction #my writing

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cyberth0t · 23 days

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Hey Sam!! I have a question about Ro's name. I remember back when I read your original sims 4 inheritance story his name was Rowan, but somewhere along the way it became Ro'onui (which I love btw) and I was just wondering what made you change it/why/when! Love your story/art btw 💖 also apologies if you've already answered this and I just couldn't find it 😭

I love this question! Also thank you!!!!!

This got long so I'm putting it under here, haha sorry in advance

Ro is Tahitian and black on his father's side--Falemalu, his surname, and Ro'onui, his forename, are both Tahitian in origin.

In the course of the "first draft" of Inheritance, Ro explains that he'd chosen to go by Rowan for a long time because it was easier for people to pronounce. This part of his backstory will still be true in the final iteration, but it will be something Ro has already grappled with sometime in his twenties, rather than in the course of the story. It comes up in dialogue though, somewhere in Book 2 or 3. I believe that by the time we meet Ro'onui in Inheritance, he will have taken back ownership of his name. Such is the nature of re-writes and editing! Our characters become clearer to us.

My best friend growing up went by a shortened version of her name, a common nickname white people could pronounce. Her full name, which her parents and Bengali friends all called her, wasn't something she bothered to teach everyone. I watched her hate her name, love it, hate it again, feel nothing for it, love it once more.

Ultimately, the path Ro'onui took with his name was likely similar to my friend's, but I am an outsider to his culture, doing the best I can to write a believable man on a hero's journey. I have to ask myself what was likely for someone like him--I know, from firsthand experience with someone I loved, how hard it was for a brown kid with a long name to try to fit in with everyone else in the early 2000's. For the record, in case anyone reading along doesn't know, his name is pronounced ROH-OH-NOO-EE, with a slightly more pronounced stop between ROH and OH, where the special apostrophe (called an 'eta in Tahitian and an 'okina in Hawaiian) is located.

Also, please enjoy the notion that Ro chose "Rowan" as his name in like, the seventh grade, roughly in 2002, because he thought it was cool and edgy (he was an emo kid, the kind with the hair in front of one eye and a studded belt and those parachute pants with all the straps hanging off of them).

#ask #ocs #oc stuff #ro #uhhh sorry for writing a NOVEL

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eggyslang · 4 months

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Redesigns of the new strawberry shortcake reboot :]

Design notes under the cut:

Strawberry shortcake: I gave her short hair so the silhouette of her head with the beanie looks more strawberry shaped. Also, something about her new look gives me a skater vibe [maybe it’s the beanie? Idk] so I wanted to lean into that with the rest of the outfit. I gave her a graphic tee over a stripy shirt [the green and white stripes call back to some of her past looks], baggy jeans [calling back to her 2003 look], and sneakers that look like red converse [kept from her current look]. I gave her a cute apron with a heart shaped strawberry on it to make her look more like a baker and to give a bit of a 2000’s skirt-over-pants type of silhouette that I think is fun. Also, I’d like to think that her grandma made it for her :]. I put in a lot of hearts in her design because hearts are kinda strawberry shaped and also she seems like a loving, friendship oriented person, so I felt hearts would fit her personality

Blueberry muffin: I wanted to give her a look that matched her kinda weirdgirl personality in the new show. I’ve only seen an episode and a half so I don’t have too much to go off of, but she seemed kinda spiritual, for lack of a better word [loves ghosts, talks about things having “good energy,” etc.] I gave her long, layered skirts to resemble muffin liners as well as add some flowiness to her outfit. Similarly, I gave her a cropped cardigan thing with wide sleeves. I gave her mismatched socks to make her look a little more eclectic. I tried to incorporate a lot of round/circular shapes into her design to make her more blueberry-ish like her mary janes, the circle pendent on her necklace, the round shape of her bangs, her bubble braid hairstyle [idk if that’s what it’s actually called, i just thought it looked cool], and her blue sunglasses. I made her bangs a little messier so it almost seems like she cut her bangs herself.

Orange blossom: her visor is my favourite part of all of these redesigns. I stole it from one of orange cookie’s costumes from cookie run bc it’s just so nice. I put flowers on her shorts to lean into the blossom part of her name. I also gave her a little orange slice watch to incorporate more oranges into her design. I imagine it’s one of those watches that tells you your heart rate and stuff.

Lime chiffon: I’m not really happy with her design but I tried my best. I have her pigtails in the shape of semicircles to look like lime slices. I made her glasses lime shaped. To lean into her nerdy/preppy look, I gave her a sweater vest over a polo. I kept the design of her skirt to be lime-ish. I gave her blueberry’s Ugg-like boots because I wanted to add some brown into her outfit to be like the cake part of a lime chiffon cake.

Lemon meringue: shes not TOO different from her current canon design. I changed her hair to be more lemon shaped. I also thought the shape gave her a bit more of a mad scientist look. I also put some white in her hair to incorporate some meringue-ness. I put some patches on her overalls like she’s used them for a long time and they’ve gotten worn out. Also, it allowed me to add some more lemon-y elements to her outfit. I put a lightning bolt on the chest of the overalls because her voice reminds me of rainbow dash and also i think you can use lemons to make electricity[? I think I did an experiment like that in elementary school]. I made her goggles look like lemon tarts for funsies. I gave her a tool belt to incorporate more brown into the design and bc all inventors need tools handy.

#strawberry shortcake #berry in the big city #fanart #alt text #image id

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disneyparksattractionstournament · 6 months

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Extinct Disney Parks and Attractions tournament round 1: Group B2

Reminder, you don't have had to experience any of the attractions/experiences to vote! Just read in the info and/or watch the vid,then vote for which you wish you would have experienced more/which sounds cooler!

Videos and propaganda/info dumping under cut

Sorcerer's Hat: MGM (2001-2015)

Propaganda:

YES IT WAS CHEESY BUT ONCE AGAIN, ITS FREAKING DISNEY! YOU AREN'T GOING FOR SOPHISTICATION! It was FUN, it takes you from the real world! The whole park had an overall sorcerer's mickey theme going on in that era, so it fit! It was also a perfect icon for the park! I will never forgive them for getting rid of it. Oh and it was a great spot for characters!

youtube

DCA CALIFORNIA entrance letters: California Adventure (2001-2011)

Propaganda:

I never got to experience this in real life but I absolutley love the style and vibe of it and old DCA! Its sooo 90s/early 2000s, that style was the best. Make cheesy popular again!

youtube

#disney parks #extinct disney parks attractions tournament #poll #polls #tournament poll #round 1 #retired disney #disney world #dca #california adventure #sunshine plaza #defunctland #mgm #hollywood studios #sorcerer's hat #Sorcerer mickey

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popculturebuffet · 24 days

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Supermay!: It's A Bird... It's a Plane.. It's Superman! Review (Comission for Emma Fici)

Hello all you happy people and welcome back to Supermay! A celebration of all things man of steel. And today boy oh boy do I have a treat for you. It's a bird, it's a plane, it's a goddamn musical. We're taking look at the 1975 tv adaptation of the 1966 Stage Musical It's a Bird, It's a Plane, It's superman! Baby.

This is something i've wanted to watch since seeing a clip of what turned out to be the final number years ago: It looked cheesy as hell and I was here for it. And when I pitched it to Emma her response was a resounding

So here we are.

So thanks to wikipedia I got some background on this one. Usually not the best source but I didn't have a lot. It did give me stage actor and superman in the broadway version Bob Holiday's 2000's as hell website

it's funly nostalgic and the guy seemed genuinely nice and i'ts mostly to tribute the man. Ther'es the odd bit like "sounding every bit as masculine as superman must" but it's mostly a nice little tribute. It didn't tell me much but it did impress that Bob HAD to maintain the superman posture live on stage and that the musical had flying effects, which is neat.

Otherwise the musical did well with critics.. but Audiences didn't catch on. They may of just not been in the mood for this level of camp, it may of been that old attitude that "comic books ares for childrens", which is true but their also for everybodys at the same time. At any rate it didn't do well.

The weird thing is.. it was a case of DC accidnetly undercutting itself. Around the same time the camptastic glory that was Adam West Batman started airing so an intended Time article for the musical was reduced to a blurb to promote batman instead.

So a decade later DC tried to recoup some losses, lisenscing the musical to ABC in the hopes of getting some of that sweet high school and regional theater money. And instead.. ABC just shoved it on their schedule and didn't really give a shit. So yeah this musical is mildly cursed and I feel bad fo rit. It's a wonderfully campy little piece of superman history, a truly odd, truly unique thing that deserves it's flowers, so today i'm giving them to them. So come fly with me under the cut as we experince bargin bin sweden hating lex luthor, jealous journalists, wacky mobsters, depression, an iconic musical number, gay supervillians in love, and all the camp that's fit to print. It's A Bird, It's a Plane, It's Superman! .. and some ads!

Commericals!:

As a brucey bonus, the person who put this specail on youtube also added a cluster of superman themed commericals at the end. I'm going to tackle them because my good friend @jess-the-vampire recommended them. We watched the musical together but she stuck around for these commericals.

We open with one from Bob Holiday, who promotes Aqua Velva.. and honestly I wish more than just the soundtrack for the stage musical existed because he seems like an excellent superman.

The next is just superman using an at and t card to call the office as they try to get back to .. contact london. And Lois brings up he always disappears? I don't get you commerical

Now we get into the real nonsense. Lex Luthor has kidnapped superman.. to ask why superman peanut butter tastes so great. The funniest part of this is I could buy lex being THAT petty that he can't just ASK superman, he has to kidnap him, put him near a giant chunk of kryptonite and demand he tells him. Some kids save superman, they enjoy some peanutbutter and luthor finds out he'll find out someday, SOMEDAY SUPERMAN YOU'LL TELL ME THE SECRET OF YOUR RICH CREAMERY PEANUT BUTTER!

Anyways, now for superman to say no to smoking! Some man dressed like a wizard is teaching children to smoke. Man big tabacco is really having to get clever. I remember the old days when they didn't have to be as subtle

Superman then fights Nick O Teen again.. yes that's really his name.

Yes he really looked like that. And the sad part is this special proves this isn't even the dumbest guy he's fought. he fights nick as he tries to corrupt youth at baaseball and then claims you can quit any time only to disprove it when superman takes his sigs. He also coughs up a big black cloud when superman does this? Superman.. I I think you might be killing this guy. Give him his smokes superman, let him live!

Superman then calls a kid who smoked to be cool a looser. This is somehow only the second most dickish thing he's ever done.

We then get a few less takable adds: Superman picks up a kid who was abndoned by his friends for being intrested in drugs and relaizing drugs ar efor loosers, then promotes a kit for asmatic kids.. which is actually really nice. Good job superman.

We then get an add for underoos which is a bunch of children dancing around in their underwear. I feel like i'm going on some sort of watchlist just for watching this. There's Superman, Wonder Woman, Aquaman and Spider-man! And another add which adds batman and the hulk.. and the dukes of hazzard? Also this add made me realize the venture bros were wearing underoos for some time

Though the actual aquaman underoos are way more half assed

That's just..sad.

Anyways enough about children's underwear, for the love of god enough about children's underwear, let's have some airforce propoganda by some weirdo in a mustache and some weirdo in a superman outfit who gets recurited for the airforce.

Now Taco Bell is offering SUPERMAN GLASSES. Super fuckin shooter.. I actually want one of those now. I miss when restruants did this. I wasn't really around for it but I miss it.

Now superman on viewmaster! God I loved how these things looked as a kid.. on the outside. could never really see them well.

Next superman rescue two kids from the evils of WEEEEEEDDDD and just fly them to the boys and girl club. I mean that last part's nice and children shoudln't smoke weed but like... do they have a ride home? Are you just going to fly them to my house.

Now for a create a super villian contest. Everyone gets puffy stickers! EVERYONE EVEN YOU. EVEN IF YOU DON'T WATCH THEM. Also Casey Kasem robin. That's dope.

Now for a living french fry from superman french fries

And now our feature presentation

So we open with some .. weird as hell introductions to most of our cast. And it's right away we get one of this special's weirder quirks: out of Superman's suprisingly large supporting cast and main rogue's gallery only THREE characters from the comics are in this musical: Superman himself, played by David Wilson, Lois Lane played by Lesley Ann Warren and Perry White played by Al Ludden. I couldn't find anything really on wilson, but Warren's been in a ton of stage and tv while Ludden was the host of pass word. Yes weirdly Jimmy Olson is left out.. I wonder why

Fair enough then. So rather than say get Lex Luthor or Jimmy in the plot we instead get Max Mencken, an egotistical reporter who hates superman for stealing all the attention played by Kenneth Mars, mars assitant who has a thing for him Syndey Carlton played by MASH star Loretta Swit, the only actor I recognized in this, and David Wayne as Dr. Abner Sedwick, a mad scientest working for the Metropolis INsittue of Technology who wants to kill superman to conquer the world. There's also a mafia boss played by Malachi Throne, thankfully replacing the racial sterotypes with hired goons

Yeah while I get not using some of supes Rogues, Braniac would hard to be get right on stage back then for instance, it's very weird to me that they don't use Luthor for sedwick's role. Ther'es nor eason it CAN'T be him: while Luthor didn't have sedwick's veil of legitmacy back then (A weird thing to think about) it's not that big a change nad as seen by the 80's onward, it actually improves the character. I get Max, they wanted more characters at the planet and there didn't seem to be a deep bench and Jimmy never would've fit the roll. It's honestly hilarious to me as Steve Lombard, Morgan Edge and Jack Rider would all fill similar rolls over the years to this one, while Sydney would likely be Cat Grant, the planet's gossip columnist, these days.

At any rate we get a quick recap of superman's origins that also belies that this musical is goofy as shit, using comic panels and leaving subtly at the door as this is superman's rocket in this version

I'm all for it though: the musical's clearly meant to be tounge and cheek and is trying to be funny.. but is that rare work that's both genuinely funny once in a while and so bad it's glorious. Someone wrote a joke this corny, thought it was funnya nd put it on tv. Someone had to assemble this prop and I salute them.

So we get clarks teen years, him becoming superman all in miniture before we get our first number. We Need Him. And I have enough praise for later numbers I can comfortably say this is dogshit and not feel too bad about it. Like it is just bad. 80% of it is just them saying WE NEED HIM, WE NEED HIM, WE NEED HIM, WE NEED HIM, WE NEED HIM, WE NEED HIM

Listening to the original version, it was more of an operatic crowd number originally.. why they dumbed it down to the point of being grating I have no clue. While this does update the arangments, the arangments aren't really BAD for the most part but this is just.. awful.

Thankfully we soon get our first planet scene and our general characterizations for our bullpen: Clark is going with the old "he's really a mask for superman" routine, with Clark having a very whiny voice i'd swear was doing a rick moranis if rick was acting at that point. God there was a time when rick moranis wasn't a thing. Such dark days. It's fine... like I said in the clash of the superheroes review, i'm not a fan of "clark is just a costume superman puts on", but this musical is going for camp. Having everyone forget Clark's even there and exagerating this dynamic to all hell works just fine.

What dosen't is Lois. Lois feels like a prop in this: she loudly goes "scoop" in a shrill voice, never realizes Clark is there and genuinely kinda sucks. She's mostly there for Clark to pine over, the villians to kidnap later and that's it. I'm so relived Crisis on Infinite earths gave us the modern lois: no nonsense, hard nosed, but with a kind nature versus "SUPERMAN MUST MARRY MEEEEEEE". It's too Amy Rose for my taste.

We get our next umber it's superman next.. and this one is also not good and once again can be blamed on the rearrangment taking away the orchestra and replacing it with.. nothing.

Thankfully we're rescued from this by the oldest of superman's foes.. the mafia! The sad part is out of superman's three big bads in this film.. it's the closest to being true. It's still not entirely true as looking into the first 10 issues or so of action comics, it's mostly shady buisness douches, corrupt wardens and other conmen, putting the comic WAY ahead of it's time, it's still entirley plausable he fought some mobster in a sterotypical suit in his early career.

So the cartoon gangsters added to this version work for me. It helps their just so fun: their over the top, goofy and fit this over the top and goofy musical like the hats they all wear. They also get the first good number of the musical, It's a Swell Country, which was made for this special but I honestly coudln't tell as it's really good and like "Mean Green Mother From Outer Space" should be added to future stage versions. IT's a fun song about how it's a "Swell country" for criminals, and will be even more swell once they take care of superman

Back at the planet, Lois interviews Abner Sedwick. Sedwick tells lois MIT has death ray and Clark overhears, becomes superman and easily takes care of it. He seems to have foiled Sedwick's grand scheme.. but it turns out having him stop the death ray was part of it.

Later in Sedwick's office he gets a solo revenge, this weird shatner style number where he sing talks a lot. And also actually sings. Sedwick however.. is the best. He talks to the audience a lot and his motivations are hilariously petty: he just abrubtly reveals why he wants to rule the world: to destroy sweden. And why? Because he keeps coming in second place for the noble prize. Ten years in a row. I honestly think at this point their doing it just to fuck with him and are doing so at their peril.

Turns out Max was there the whole time and pieced it all together.. and it also turns out he dosen't care that Sedwick is evil as he also wants to kill superman. I've seen worse meet cutes, i'll take it.

Max comes back to the office and we get what Jess perfectly described as

The Woman for the Man is a good song and works well out of context, a lot of these songs do, but my god is it uncomfortable to watch two minutes of a guy hitting on a woman who just.. is not interested while he does not get it. Reminds me of what a younger me might of become had he been a bit more of a douche and ab it less awkward and I don't care for it. Lois tells max to fuck off and he vows revenge on superman because it's superman's fault his sexual harassment no jitsu didn't work for the 80th time.

So while the cartoon mobsters decide Sedwick might be worth kidnapping because superman is gun proof, Max blows off Sydney

To go talk to sedwick who reveals his plan which is honestly, especially for something like this... really clever. Superman's too powerful to beat normally.. so their going to break him mentally.

Clark has other problems though as we get

With You've got Possiblities. The song itself.. is utterly fantatsic. I'd actually heard this one around but never knew it was from a superman musical. it's an utter classic, being hilaroiusly dismissive and Swit's super 70's version works. And unlike other rearrangments while i'll admit the original is better.. this one's still good and there's more reason to do this "update": the original is such a big song, you kinda HAVE to make it your own and Swit does.

That said the gag for the first half is that Clark isn't intrested... and Sydney won't take no for an answer. Clark DOES come around eventually.. but it's still deeply uncomfortable, even more than the max stuff as it's clear they aren't on clark's side here like they were with lois.

Clark and Sydney hook up.. and then this never really comes up again because they presumibly cut that part of the plot out for time.

So we get Sedwick's plan: he's going to put a bomb under city hall

Again it's clever: the death ray was so he could plausably throw a celebration for superman at MIT , and then blow up city hall at the same time. now he has Max, Max can slander superman in the media for missing the attack and this will destroy him mentally.

The two then sing you got what I need aka

Yeah there's no way around this Max and Sedwick are gay as hell and this musical number is gay as hell and being bi as hell I love every minute of it. Suddenly the two villians just come off like their going to make out any second from now and given their both asepects of lex luthor it works. I honestly wish they had end up together: their both egotistical, petty and hate superman. It's a great foundtaion for a relationship.

They get interuptted by the mobsters, btu Sedwick decides he wants kids after he realizes their ALSO after superman. Well henchman.. same thing really. Either way their adopting these sterotypes.

We then get back to the planet as Lois falls in love with clark because he's always there.

Yeah once again they just.. step up a subplot for time's sake. She sings a song about it. Once again it's not great. I do not know why they kept this subplot, it impacts nothing. The syndey thing really impacted nothing. This musical is somehow a LOT happneing, max and sediwick's evil plan, falling in love and adopting a family of mobsters, sydney and clark, lois and clark, sexual harassment, more sexual harassment, blowing up sweden, and also nothing of consequence happening and i'm somehow here for it.

So with clark kent happy it's naturally time for the universe to shit on him.. wait no that's peter parker. The Universe is going to take a steamer on clark's life anyway as our power couple pull off their plan, with superman at his celebration and meeting Jerry and Joe, two hippies based on Jerry Siegel and Joe Schuster, superman's creators. it's a sweet touch that only gets sweeter later, but for now the explosion happens and Sedwick's able to turn the crowd against him thorugh the power of "comic book unvierse characters can be real dicks"

Superman is now hated and clark's frustrated, while Sydney is fed up with max's crap and gies us a song. And for once.. it actually DOES feel necessary this scene is happening. Not only is max kidnapped during it but it gives payoff to sydney's crush on max

The song is the underrated "Oh Do You Love You" a REALLY fun song i'm shocked didn't blow up like you got possibilities. It's one long take that at max's ego and it is AWESOME. Loretta Swit can REALLY sing and while she got to show it off with possibiliteis she really gets to go all out here.

Max is abudcted during it as Sedwick thinks he's superman. Max asks "Husband are youf ucking high", pointing out the obvious: why would he do all this frame superman shit if he was. They figure out it's clark, they always forget about him, as did Sedwick's computer, so Sedwick heads to clarks to finish off their foe while Max has lois kidnapped.

We then get another song.. and sadly another weak one. Seriously this musical bounces between all time bangers and "please god make it stop" The Strongest Man in the World is about superman's vunerablility which SHOULD work and I like the staging of him changing into clark as he does it, but the awkward singing and

Suck the energy out of it.

Sedwick shows up and reveals he' knows who clark is. He then proceeds to psychologically break him, accusing him of pretending to be clark as a gag, being a hero to lord his power and of being a freak. This leaves superman in a super depression and thus he can't rescue lois when the mobsters kidnap her.

It's then the table turns as everybody betrays everybody. We also get another lois song and I genuinely feel terrible for Lesley Ann WarreN: Three numbers.. and all of them awful. Moving on Sediwck betrays max and then is betrayed by the mobsters who even give their king boss the award for best criminal just to make sedwick feel worse. Id ont' remember him teling them about the noble prize thing but he's also the kind of guy who strikes me like he'd bring it up every chance he got.

Superman then.. goes.. to drown himself...

Yeah just.. the fuck. I get it was the 60's/70's, these jokes were okay but it's just a weird turn. He also can't drown himelf because he has super lungs GET IT IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE HE CAN'T DIE BUT WANTS TO.

Thankfully this segues into the musicals best non musical scene: Joe and Jerry runn into supes again.. and upon seeing his crisis admit part of why they love him..is that he is a freak. He's not normal, he is diffrent. and that's okay. He gives hope to all the other "freaks", all the outcasts who need someone to cheer and to look out for them. He's the defender of the downtrodden

With his confidence back, superman arrives and we get the best number of the muiscal, Pow! Bam! Zonk! a gloriously cheesy number where Superman cleans house. It's a nicely silver age segment of superman giving plnety of one liners as he talks about how he's regained his sense of self and easily beats up the mobsters with some great funny bits like them shattering a blackboard over him or two using ONE MOBSTER AS A BATTERING RAM. I'ts one long fun sequence showing how awesome superman is and David WIlsons ings the hell out of it. It's cheesy, fun, and incredibly well coregraphed. A great climax.

In the end our hero triumphs, our villians have amnesia so their good now and max is good to syndey though maybe she'll consider a throuple with sediwick. DA END. Seriously it just kinda ends. Lois is back into superman, tha'ts it. Go home.

It's a Bird It's a Plane It's Superman is fun as hell. It's not super good: only a few jokes land... but it manages to be cheesy so bad it's super. It's got great numbers dotted with hilarously bad ones, goofily petty villians, wacky mafia mobsters, and a truly bonkers plot that while itnetionally so has aged to the point it's even more zany than intended. Add in a weird lack of superman, a truly awesome final number, and some goofy effects and title cards, and you have a good time. Well worth the 90 minutes. Check it out on youtube. Stick around for the commericals and thanks for reading.

#superman #it's a bird it's a plane it's superman #lois lane #clark kent #musical theatere #musicals #abc #dc comics #broadway

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