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tenjikubaby · 8 months
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now what the fuck happened to tumblr
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tenjikubaby · 10 months
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nO because i also was in the twst fandom and my fave Idia’s VA will be voicing SHION MADARAME??..
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tenjikubaby · 10 months
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holy fuck guys... these updates make me feel all fluttery aaaaaAAAAAA
i might just get back into TR after all. it was a really good time 
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tenjikubaby · 1 year
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Haitani Brothers Analysis
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While the Haitani brothers didn’t get as much screen time in the series as many fans would probably like, we did get a small glimpse into their characters during the main events of the manga and some extra content in the character books—enough for me to reasonably speculate on some things. As always, these are just my own thoughts, and you are more than welcome to disagree with me.
**THIS ANALYSIS CONTAINS SPOILERS!**
Neither Ran nor Rindou actually enjoy fighting that much.
In the main series, they don’t have an actual clear reason for participating in the gang wars. They even state stuff like “well, I guess we have to” before entering the battlefield
Whenever they are beat up they very readily accept defeat.
They fight very unfairly, with Ran using his baton to beat up opponents while Rindou holds them still and breaks their bones. Once they are separated, they lose quite easily. If they really enjoyed fighting, they likely a) wouldn’t be using these underhanded methods at all and b) wouldn’t be this bad on their own.
Both of Rindou’s extra stories in the character book involve being unwillingly dragged into some kind of conflict.
EDIT: I was mulling over this point and I think I mean to say that while they do like fighting, because it’s clear they do have fun beating people up, they don’t CARE about fighting the way some of the others do. Eg, those who fight to protect, those who fight for a cause, those who fight because they have a passion for it, etc.
This is pretty much where the similarities between the two brothers end, though. So, if they don’t care about fighting, why are they even delinquents in the first place? What do they care about?
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Ran cares about maintaining an image.
Rindou talks about being annoyed about Ran trying to strike ‘cool’ poses when fighting
His special skill is “presenting himself in a favorable light”
In CB3, his profile states that Ran wants to be a celebrity and he enjoys getting his hair done at beauty salons
In fact, he tends to talk out of his ass, shown in his conversation with the hairdresser and…what he says about music here…
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The two living in Roppongi makes even more sense, as it is a very high-end district
However, with that being said, there are a few additional pieces of information that may strike people as rather odd, as they seem a bit contradictory to what we are led to believe Ran is like.
His hobby is sleeping, he likes staying in bed, and his special talent is sleeping 24 hours in one go
In Rindou’s story, Ran was so pissed off at getting woken up because of his party that he got violent
What this reminds me of are my interactions with people who tell me that their hobbies involve clubbing and drinking, only for them to admit later on that they don’t actually like doing those things at all and would much rather be at home. Instead, these hobbies are simply a means to make up for something that they are lacking: something like, human connection, self-esteem, etc. In Ran’s case, delinquency—because what it got him was an army of followers in Roppongi that he and his brother can command. In the delinquent world, he is that celebrity he wants to be.
When Kakucho invited them to join Tenjiku, their conditions to accepting were that their uniforms be a different colour than the rest. Izana beat him up because that made them stand out more.
We don’t get much more info beyond this, but I think there’s some valid reason to believe that, like many who choose to surround themselves with material possessions, he is merely putting up a front to cover up a deep-rooted insecurity. Perhaps one that developed in an environment full of wealthy elites that is difficult to stand out in.
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Rindou cares about his brother.
This might take a little more explanation because sibling love-hate relationships are complicated, and like Ran a lot of Rindou’s character traits are contradictory, but there are a few things that make this evident both in the series and the character book.
Rindou’s interests are DJing and martial arts, the latter of which is quite known for promoting stuff like peace, respect, etc unlike Rindou’s delinquent tendencies
Again, both of his stories involve being dragged into conflict he didn’t wanna be a part of. Kakucho once invited him to train, which Rindou thought was weight lifting, only to be brought to a Yakuza hideout. Rindou vowed never to hang out with him again.
He is actually ranked 2nd best boyfriend and 2nd least vicious in Tenjiku, which would strike people as odd considering his special technique in combat is literally breaking bones
All of this should make Rindou a pretty chill guy but he isn’t. Instead he follows his brother into gang wars, gets sent to prison, and in the Bonten timeline gets involved in criminal activity. While we don’t see him or his brother really doing anything during this arc, I think that itself (just standing and watching) tells us enough about how they feel being a part of it. So, we get into the next key part of Rindou’s character book profile.
Rindou’s most feared/disliked person is Ran
In his second story, he locks himself in the bathroom to avoid Ran’s angry outburst and has to buy him Mont Blanc to appease him
I don’t think Ran is abusive in the way Taiju was toward the Shiba household, because in their interactions it’s quite clear that they do care about one another and are comfortable enough together. They always stick together throughout alliance changes, their signature technique involves teamwork, and are in the same business owning a club in the final ending.
Instead, I think it’s clear that Ran was a pretty terrible influence to Rindou. I think he was pulled into this pretty early on due to circumstance and was unable to get out because he didn’t know much else—again, because of Ran’s influence as the older brother. Otherwise, I don’t think he’d have chosen this path voluntarily.
There isn’t much else for me to use to make more speculations on Rindou’s character, but I think based on all that info he really just seems like a big himbo on the inside. All the dude wants is to make music and get buff. Also, probably a tsundere, because it seems that he calls Ran “aniki” in public but “niichan” in private. So cute!!
Anyways, I think that’s it for now! I typed this all up in one sitting so I hope I didn’t miss anything. If you have any input do feel free to comment as I love these boys and am always looking to read more headcanons and scenarios with them!
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tenjikubaby · 1 year
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HELP MY SOUL
Thank you so much for this and the birthday greeting! I feel so validated as a Quality Time person 😭 And don’t even get me started on that last part with the DDtK lyric... even after years that song still has me in a chokehold bc I feel that it perfectly describes my feelings towards love. 
Ran and I had the most excruciating slow-burn, push-and-pull romantic build-ups ever. I had to fight for my life  (might be meant literally considering how he lives) trying to ask him out but it was all worth it in the end. 
Thanks again for this event! You’re making so many people happy 😭
Hiii, I saw your self-ship ask event and omg, it's so cute! Anyway, I wanted to ramble about me and none other than Ran Haitani (doing so makes me really happy and warm) Thank you so much for doing this event :")
I'm allergic to showing the people I like/love that I like/love them. So this means I can be kinda "tsundere" in a way as a panic response when someone notices that I like them? It goes a little like this:
Person: "Aww, you did [favor] for me! Are you going soft for me?"
Me: "I only did it because I had nothing else to do." (lying)
You can already see how that'll go with Ran lmao. I feel like he'd just smile and say "If you say so~" because he can see right through me.
I'm the type to do something drastic when I get really angry. While me and Ran are both generally calm people, he's the calmer one of the two of us. I'm all rational and reasonable until I get angry which is why it's Ran who has to hold me back.
I don't know what to do with myself when someone shows romantic interest in me. If someone is trying to hint that they like me in that way, I will act like the most dense motherfucker ever. Giggling at the thought of Ran being entertained at first and then getting frustrated the longer it goes on.
I'm likely to write/make art about the people I love. (I may or may not have written poems and created concept playlists about Ran) That's one of my love languages along with Quality Time and Acts of Service, I guess. I never show the poems and artworks to my muses, though. I would die before I ever do that lol. I think Ran would have a knack for finding my work and knowing when it's about him. I'll never hear the end of it.
I'm down for just sitting in silence or napping together which I bet Ran would be very happy to do. I feel like we can both stop caring about being interesting when together alone and just exist.
I don't have a playlist but the songs that give me the most Ran feels are:
Don't Delete the Kisses - Wolf Alice
Tokyo Love Hotel - Rina Sawayama
R.E.M. - Ariana Grande
That's all, thank you!
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◇─◇──◇── @tenjikubaby  x Ran! ──◇──◇─◇
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A second birthday special! Happy birthday!
□ Ran adores your playlists and lets you curate the music on every drive you take together. Sometimes he listens closely to the lyrics and will tease you if there's a chance you're playing it because it reminds you of him.
□ Ran doesn't snoop. He doesn't! But sometimes he does drop a sketchbook/notebook and he happens to notice a doodle of a person that looks suspiciously like him. And sometimes he likes to pull poem books off the shelf to take a peek at any loose leaf sheets poking out.
□ He wishes sometimes that he could express his feelings that way for you, but he opts instead for tugging you to bed to cuddle and nap. You can usually guess he's found something when he gets EXTRA physically clingy <3.
□ Ran also loves quality time, I think it might be one of his top two love languages. You know, he's such a gossip lol. I think he loves to spend chatty time before naps, arms wrapped around your back, tugging you to half lay on him,,,
□ I feel like Ran loves PDA and doing silly grand gestures that he knows fluster you. Eventually he gets a feel for the lines he cannot cross, but honestly, here and there, his antics (a little slap to your ass in front of the guys or a big dramatic sign and flowers to pick you up at any public transport or event.
□ He will scoop you up and leave kisses up and down your face and you'll be blushing FURIOUSLY and you probably pull him by his hand to leave as quickly as possible because such histrionics are probably uncomfortable for you (same tho)
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Consider Ran (before you're together) having a week where he get's frustrated with the chase. And you part on rocky terms. But through it all, my god he's really genuinely grown so attached to you and he needs to find a way to fix stuff. For ease, lets assume he has some myspace/discord portal to see what you're listening to and he finds you listening to don't delete the kisses on repeat. He leaves a note in you bag the next time you see him, he leaves a note in his weirdly neat handwriting:
"Get over it and take me out.
It's meant for you.
-r"
It's the most romantic this he's done and that he may ever do but shit. Maybe it won't be too hard to hit him up at least....casually...right?
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Come make my day, tell me about your self ship, and get some hcs of your own.
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tenjikubaby · 1 year
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Happy birthday!
Thank you, anon!
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tenjikubaby · 1 year
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i say let them cook 🔥🔥🔥
I have returned from the dead. Happy Izana and Mocchi anime debut + other Tenjiku member crumbs! Here, have a post that has been cooking in my drafts. 
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RAN
Ran, cooking for himself, would go for easy, “lazy” recipes if ordering takeout wasn’t an option. If he’s cooking for you, though, he would want to impress. He’ll browse a bunch of recipe lists on his laptop and pick the most impressive-looking dishes thinking that cooking them “can’t be that hard.”
Goes on a trip to the grocery store for fresh ingredients, but soon finds out, after procrastinating his cooking that a) he got the wrong condiment/spice, or b) got the wrong cut of meat, or c) forgot a very important ingredient so Rindou kinda just finds his usually calm brother panicking in the kitchen because he doesn’t really want to disappoint. He soon regrets ever appearing because Ran sends him to the grocery store to get the right ingredients. 
Rindou’s troubles did not end there because Ran had him help out in the cooking process when the guy just wanted to play video games.  “Rindou, which one is the cilantro again?” “Rindou, slice the carrots.” “Rindou, why aren’t the slices even?” “Rindou, this is too salty. I think you oversea—” and poor Rin kind of just loses it.
RINDOU
He and Ran have the money to constantly eat out or order takeout, but ever since Rindou started following a diet, he’s learned to cook healthy dishes for himself. He’ll probably want to fix up something healthy for you too. What can I say, he cares about your health! Might actually scold you if he finds out you’ve been eating fatty stuff too often.
Rindou proposed the idea to you without thinking and didn’t expect you to agree so now he has to deliver! The pressure he feels to perform is no joke--like Ran, he would rather eat coal than disappoint his expectant S/O.
He’s a decent enough cook, more okay with getting his hands dirty than Ran. He’s no Kakucho, but he gets along just fine. If he can make food that’s edible and nutritious, then that’s good, right? But because of you, Rindou finds himself watching a bunch of how-to videos before the day of the house date.
Will be over the moon if you liked what he made! Eats up the praise and feels really good about himself. Does a dorky little fist pump and a deep sigh of relief once out of your sight. 
SHION
Shion always goes for fast food/junk food if not eating over at someone else’s place or bullying people into giving him money for food. This guy cannot cook. He’d have to ask for help from another S62 member for this. He tries to ask Mocchi, Mucho, Rindou, and even Izana but they all just refer him to Kaku. Shion would rather die before asking someone younger than him for help. I mean, Kaku is already stronger and better than him at fighting and he’s bitter about that. It takes you telling him that you’re looking forward to his dish that he finally gives in, swallows his pride, and asks for help.
Shion was a difficult student. He’s the type to keep insisting that he already knows all the procedures and cooking terms only to fail at them horribly. It takes all of Kaku’s patience for them to get through the recipe. 
When he gets something right, Shion starts to idealize cooking. He imagines himself finding a new passion in cooking, imagining Gordon Ramsay praising his dish, and running his own restaurant but this all stops when Kaku tells him to fry an egg.
IZANA
If he’s feeling stressed about preparations, the other Tenjiku boys have no choice but to help or else he’s going to make it everyone’s problem. They can even pinch stuff from your feast if they want.
Probably saves a bunch of recipes and has trouble deciding which ones to cook for you because he wants to make them all. Kaku helps him settle on a few easy dishes (”No, Izana. We can’t make Risotto. That’s difficult for beginners.”)
I’d place him at a spot higher than Rindou and Ran if we were to rank them all. Izana doesn’t really need that much help figuring out how things are done if he’s never done them before. Would feel more confident attempting to experiment in the kitchen. Has a thing for decorating too.
To buy ingredients, he would use his gang money to get everything he needs. For you, he’ll go for fancier/pricier than what he usually gets for himself. Would not just cook one dish as well. Would make up an entire feast for the both of you. Likes a dinner date with lights and everything. Might even play his guitar for you or put on a movie.
KAKUCHO
You don’t even need to ask Kaku to cook for you because he’ll want to do it the moment he falls in love. Anniversaries are where he’d prepare a whole candlelit dinner for the two of you. There’d be a full-course meal consisting of food you both enjoy.
Like Rindou, Kaku can be health-conscious (though I’d say Rindou is stricter on himself), and would want to make nutritious stuff for you. He’s got this double standard where he’s okay with eating really unhealthy food from time to time but doesn’t want you to do the same.
He’d be more prepared than the others. Kaku takes note of any allergies you may have, or ingredients that you love/hate. He knows how to deal with picky eaters too. If you hate some veggies because of their texture, then he’ll find a way to make them you-friendly.
MOCCHI
I headcanon that he goes to the gym with Rindou and Kaku and has traded recipes with them once in a while though Mocchi would eat anything from healthy to unhealthy, because he can “work it all off” anyway.
Mocchi’s a great cook. His dishes are more of the homey, hearty comfort food type. He learned to cook from his mom, so a lot of the stuff he makes were recipes learned from her. It’s also kind of a way for him to share his childhood with his loved one/s.
If you like corn like he does, then good for you! He’ll find a way to put corn in any and every dish he makes. For him, you just can never go wrong with corn. But if you don’t like corn, he’d be unable to comprehend that fact for a while before deciding to adjust his recipes for you.
MUCHO
Mucho would be great at desserts. He dreams to run a cafe someday, so he has learned to cook and bake and make coffee early on. In fact, I think he’d make you try a lot of these recipes before putting them on his future cafe menu. 
He takes this all really seriously and it’s endearing. He asks for your constructive criticism after you try the food and makes sure to create a good ambiance where you’re eating too. To top it all off, he’ll even play some relaxing instrumentals in the background!
Each dish in the meal complements each other wonderfully. He selects the perfect side dishes to go with what, and the perfect drink and dessert to go with it all. It’s such a well-planned meal and you can tell he really put thought into it. 
There is a soft smile on his face as he watches you enjoy the food. He’s a big Acts of Service guy, I just know it. 
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tenjikubaby · 1 year
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our favorite boys appeared! hmm let’s see...
if we see tenjiku next ep, i might post something 
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tenjikubaby · 1 year
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if we see tenjiku next ep, i might post something 
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tenjikubaby · 1 year
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I think that in real life…. Relationships r like . Your partner WILL ‘trauma dump’ on you. You will have to perform ‘emotional labor’ for your partner. Your partner will make mistakes. You will also do all of these things. The very nature of love is irrational and problematic and difficult …. To expect a relationship to be free of these things is strange to me…. The point is that your relationship to that person is ultimately worth it, and worth growing with them, helping each other, seeing the worst parts of another person and being able to love them anyway
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tenjikubaby · 1 year
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playboy ran this, playboy ran that… what about awkwardly in love ran? ran who doesn’t actually know how to deal with his crush on you.
he teases you with the intention of flirting, but ends up being too mean and it scares you off and he mentally facepalms because this is not how it was supposed to go. he’s not one to outright apologize, so he asks around to see if anyone knows your favorite snack so he can present it to you the next time he sees you.
he tries to cross paths with you any chance he gets, hanging around areas that he knows you frequent. ran thinks he’s being slick about it, but when you call him out, he’s taken aback. you didn’t sound mad about him being there, but you didn’t exactly seem happy either.
he feels ridiculous chasing someone around like this, but you’re so cute, ran doesn’t want to give up so easily.
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tenjikubaby · 1 year
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ran haitani:
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tenjikubaby · 1 year
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AO3 Etiquette
It would seem a whole new kind of AO3 reader/writer is emerging and it is becoming clear not everyone quite understands how the website community works. Here is some basic guidance on how most people expect you to go about using AO3 to keep this a fun community archive that funtions correctly:
Kudos is for when the story was interesting enough to make you finish reading. If it sucked or was badly written, you probably left. If you finished - you kudos.
If you liked it, you should comment. It can be long and detailed or a literal keysmash. Writers don't care, we just love comments.
No critisism unless the author has specifically asked or agreed to hear it. Even constructive critisism is a no-no unless an author note tells you it's okay. Many people write as a fun hobby or a way to cope with, among other things, insecurity. Don't ruin that for them.
Do not comment to ask the author to write/update something else. It's tacky and off-putting and will probably have the opposite effect than the one you want.
There is no algorithm, it's an archive. Use the search and filter function to add/remove the pairings/characters/tropes etc. you want to read about and it will find you the fics that fit the bill.
For this to work, writers must tag and rate stories. This avoids readers finding the wrong things and missing the stuff they want. I don't care how cringy that trope is in your eyes - it gets tagged.
Character A/Character B means a ROMANTIC or SEXUAL relationship of some kind. Character A&Character B is PLANTONIC, like friendship or family.
Nothing is banned. This is an implicit rule because banning one thing is a slipperly slope to banning another and another, until nothing is allowed anymore. Do not expect anyone to censor for you. Because of the tags system, you are responsible for your own reading experience.
People can create new chapters and sequels/fic series any time after they "complete" a story. So it's considered perfectly normal to subscribe, even to a finished story. You can even subscribe to the author instead just to cover your bases.
Do not repost stories or change the publishing date without an extremely good reason (like a complete top to bottom rewrite). It's an archive, not social media. No one cares what's the most recent, only what fits their tag needs.
Avoid deleting a story you wrote if you hate it - orphan it so others can still enjoy it, without it being connected to you anymore.
This is a creative fanfiction archive. No essays on your insights or theories please. There are other places for that.
I KNOW there's plenty more I missed but I'm trying to cover most of the basics that people seem to be struggling with.
I invite anyone to add to this, but please explain, don't berate.
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tenjikubaby · 1 year
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tenjikubaby · 1 year
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RAN likes:
Whisky and loathes gin. Uploading photos of books he hasn't read. Buying the most expensive skincare products even if they're not the best (Tiktok accomplished its job). Opening the door of Rindou's room and look at whatever his little brother is doing. Asking why they don't print more money just to annoy Koko (and because he doesn't have a clue). Buying iced coffe everyday. Watching k-dramas and saving pictures of the actors on Pinterest (he needs inspo for his outfits). Flirting with people at the bar but always going home alone. Convincing Rindou to do face masks with him. Going to expensive restaurants even if he just wants to eat a cheeseburger.
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tenjikubaby · 1 year
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look i had to stop checking ran's tag and looking for TR content for a while for my own sanity but it scares me that I almost missed some GEMS
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tenjikubaby · 1 year
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ran haitani x reader
no tw i can think of :)
cw: 5223
~
Ⅰ. Rindou is four. It’s summer and he is hysterically crying sitting on his mother’s lap in the back of their silver Toyota Corolla. The year is 1991 and he doesn’t want to go to his grandparents yet again, because it’s boring there and there’s just too many mosquitoes in their old dusty house and then they have those weird moving lights in the forest every evening. What is Rindou supposed to do about all these? 
He is terrified. He wants to stay in Tokyo. 
Ran is five. He sits in the front seat near his dad looking at cars passing by on the highway. He thinks Rindou is acting like a little kid and so he tells his dad just this and is rewarded with a pat on the head and a sweet chuckle. Upon hearing it, Rindou cries even more and Ran is almost annoyed, but not really, because despite his brother being so childish now, there’s still this sweet feeling in his chest and a special place that is Rindou’s only. 
So Ran audibly sighs and crawls on his seat turning his body to the back of the car. He sees his brother’s puffy crying face and reaches out to wipe salty tears. They are cold, but he lets his fingers linger on the wet skin until Rindou’s attention is on him. Glossy dark purple eyes staring at him attentively. Swallowing every word before anything is said. 
“Do you remember that shrine we visited with grandma?” 
Rindou nods a firm ‘yes’, but Ran suspects he doesn’t really remember. He was too small. He goes on anyway. 
“Grandma told me it’s haunted so we are going to lurk all the ghosts out and kill them.” 
“You can’t kill ghosts.” Rindou protests.
There’s a short period of silence where the wait for Ran’s response transforms into something almost tangible. Even the adults are listening. Too curious to interfere and tell that you in fact don’t kill ghosts. You banish them. 
“Are you scared, Rin?” Says Ran so quietly, the sound of his voice is drowned out by the noise of the busy highway. “If you are scared then…” 
“I am not scared!” Too afraid to disappoint his older brother Rindou shouts and he is on the verge of tears again. Although, this time for an entirely different reason. “I just think you can’t kill ghosts. Aren’t they dead already?” 
“Of course they aren’t. Why would they be still here with us if they were?” 
The light of the setting sun intertwines with Ran’s shoulder length blonde hair and Rindou understands that there’s nothing his older brother cannot do. The pride that swells up inside of him is greater than he ever felt. 
For the rest of the road Rindou doesn’t cry anymore. Nor does he cry in the years that follow. 
Ⅱ. Rindou is five and Ran is six when you meet them for the first time. Their grandma brings them to your parents house and you are forced to play together in the garden while adults are preparing dinner in the kitchen and chatting away. 
You wish you were with them because those brothers are intimidating and they aren’t friendly and they are so so so different from the boys in the village. You don’t like them and you hope they will go home right after dinner. 
They don’t. 
And then you are forced to play together again and you ask your mom if you can sit with her instead, but she tells you not to be rude. There’s nothing you can do so you spend your evening watching them whispering to each other with their backs facing you. 
Next day they return again and the day after. On the fourth day the younger brother approaches you. He is wearing thin glasses which he adjusts with his pointer fingers before he speaks to you. 
“Can you keep secrets?” 
The question is bizarre. Yet, you are intrigued and nod lightly. Behind Rindou - and you know that this is his name because his grandma said it when she introduced you four days ago - is his older brother watching you intently. He is tall and has long blonde hair that reminds you of the insides of the white grape. You can’t believe he is six. Nor can you believe that you and Rindou are the same age. There must be something going on in Tokyo that makes them look older. 
Maybe one day you understand what it is, but before that you stay still and confusedly blink at them, trying to figure out what it is that they want you to keep secret. Why would they even want to share something so sacred with you? 
“Is it yes or no?” Rindou asks this time harsher. 
“Yes.” 
“Good. Then follow us. We want to show you something.” 
Without a second thought you slip out of the garden and follow them to the woods where the shrine is. The place is familiar and you really shouldn’t be scared, but the small light of fear in your chest is there. You don’t tell them that. You don’t want them to be satisfied because you believe that’s why they brought you here. To scare you. 
What else for? 
That summer evening of 1992, among the mossy rocks and under the last rays of orange sun, they confess to you that they are terrible terrifying boys who kill ghosts every summer so the Wakasugi Primeval Forest are free of them. 
For the rest of the summer, every single day, you kill lost souls together. 
Ⅲ. The bus sign reads “Nishiawakura-son, Aida District, Okayama Prefecture” and Rindou who is eleven now believes there’s nothing more boring than visiting his grandparents every summer. 
You don’t kill ghosts anymore. All of them are probably well dead and long forgotten by now so it’s quite boring there. The contrast between never sleeping, always bright Roppongi and ever so green village of his grandparents strikes him violently. He wants to stay back and spend his vacation here with his friends. Playing Nintendo and going to arcades. Occasionally of course beating those who question him and his brother’s authority. 
Rindou takes a high liking in fighting.
But then he is reminded of you and despite him wanting to be indifferent, his heart clenches. The air is suddenly not enough to comfortably breath and a sharp pain strikes him somewhere under his ribcage. He cares about you. He wants to see you. 
He hates it. 
Beside him Ran is carrying their huge black sport bag where all their clothes and shoes are stored. Rindou eyes his own brother, imagining what you might think of Ran now. Yes, he is only twelve, but he is already so tall and so handsome and he got his ear pierced a few days before so it’s red and swelling. And still Ran looks so cool, Rindou is almost jealous. 
Rindou believes he looks like a kid which he supposes he is, but it’s a bit unfair that he is short and on a chubby side. He and Ran might be brothers, but what is common between them? 
Ran is cool and Rindou not really so. At least, that is how everyone perceives them, Rindou is sure of that. 
Before the bus starts he wishes you might like him a bit more than his brother.
After all it was only fair because it was his idea to tell you about ghosts all those summers ago. 
Ⅳ. Rindou’s wish is granted or so he thinks at first. 
You do hang out with him more and seemingly enjoy his company. You three are still friends [best friends even], with the only difference that Ran is unusually silent around you and you evidently avoid him as much as you can. Rindou doesn’t dwell on it. Everything is perfect and he is happy. Nishiawakura-son is not as boring as he thought it would be. 
On the last day of their vacation you are over at their house. You sit on the wooden floor before the garden that their grandma is still tending to despite her age and eat watermelon. It’s hot even though it’s evening and Rindou’s shirt is sticking to his sweaty body. So much of the mountain's fresh air, he bitterly mutters remembering his mom’s words. Cicadas screeching is too loud, but when it would annoy him, now he melts into this perfect sound of summer. He closes his eyes and does his best to engrave this moment into himself; become one with it. 
No cicadas can he be heard in Roppongi and he already knows that if he ever hears them again he would be reminded of you, Ran and sweet smell of the most delicious watermelon he ever had the chance to eat. 
“In winter it’s really snowy and cold here.” You say, sitting on your folded right leg, the left swinging in the air, disturbing gravel every now and then. Rindou catches Ran staring at your leg as you speak. He thinks it's odd. He doesn’t say anything and instead watches your face as you speak looking to the lonely winter that soon will find you. “We don’t really do anything fun here. We go to cafes, ramen shops or stay over at each other’s houses and sometimes my dad or my best friend’s mom would drive us to Okayama or to Osaka if we are exceptionally lucky. We’d stay for a couple of days there. Visit shops, hypermarkets, bookshops and then we are back here. Sometimes I think like I am always going to be here. Just like those ghosts in the forest. All alone and wandering in eternity until someone frees me.” 
The three of you don’t say anything for a while. You and Rindou decide to take a bite of your pieces of watermelon. The juice spilling over and dripping down your fingers. It makes them sticky and Rindou being Rindou licks them off, shoving all fingers inside his mouth until they are clean. He only notices that Ran hasn’t eaten when their grandma comes over and scolds Ran for neglecting fruits again. 
The rest of the day is spent simply. You go for the last walk into the forest promising not to go too deep and be back before sun sets. Then you sit by a small river where you bathed every single day all summer and finally get back to Haitani’s house where you have a delicious dinner. Just before midnight Ran says he is going to bed. Tomorrow is a big day and Rindou shouldn’t stay up for long either. Rindou sulks, but as usual obeys. You wish them goodnight and then they are off to their room on the second floor and you stay in the spacious tatami room that is nowadays only used by guests. 
Soon enough, the house is silent. The night here too sounds very different compared to Roppongi. Otherworldly. Like there are no humans and no cities and no planet and you are somewhere far along in the space to feel anything, to feel like anything. 
This state however is disturbed just before three in the morning when Ran opens the slide door of their room and on tip toes goes downstairs. His movements aren’t really loud, but Rindou is Rindou and so he hears them anyway. 
As well as he knows that Ran isn’t thirsty, hungry or in need of a toilet. As well as he knows that Ran knows that you aren’t asleep either. 
So. Rindou rubs his sleepy eyes and reaches out for his glasses. He follows the footsteps of his brother, careful enough to stop before the corner of the tatami room. Rindou slides down the wall sitting on the wooden floor, his legs stretched in front of him and he listens to his brother telling you all about Tokyo and its lights. 
By the end of the summer of 1999, Rindou understands that you don’t like him less or more than Ran. You just like Ran very differently than you’d ever be able to like Rindou. 
Ⅴ. They don’t visit for three summers in a row. No one would tell you why.
The first summer is hard. The second one is better. By the beginning of the third when they aren’t here it doesn’t really feel like anything and you hate yourself for it. 
Memories fade. Ghosts die. You get older. And once more it seems to you that while everyone and everything moves forward you are stagnant in your village with a population of no more than two thousand people. 
Despite you claiming to be devoid of feelings, you cry a lot in the summer of 2002.
Ⅵ. When they are back to Nishiawakura-son you aren’t there. 
You spend holidays away from the village at your best friend’s grandparents house in Matsuyama. You were planning the trip the whole year and you're excited and grateful they are generous enough to let you stay. 
But when you learn that Ran and Rindou are finally home you wish you were there too. 
The whole summer of 2003 is filled with thoughts if this deep regret is eating them alive too.
Ⅶ. The knife in your hand slips when you hear Haitani’s grandmother announcing that they have arrived. Blood seeps through the small cut quickly and you inhale deeply calming yourself down. The pain arrives a tad later. You bite your lip and unnoticed by anyone lurk in the bathroom. Leaning down on this sink you tell yourself you aren’t hiding and you aren’t nervous and you are in the safe space of tile and wood only because you need to bandage your hand. You tell yourself you are perfectly okay with meeting them so many years later. You can be friends again. You can start anew. It’s not like you changed much, right? It’s not like they are totally different people. 
You stay in the bathroom for some time until your mother is calling your name so loudly and so fast you are embarrassed. With band-aid in your teeth you walk towards the dining room where everyone has already gathered. What you’ve been supposed to help with is done by your mom and your grandma. The scowl your elders send you is humiliating enough you don’t look nor at Ran nor at Rindou. 
Eyes to the ground you move to your seat. 
Over the food everyone is happily chatting. Your parents and Ran are the one who speak the most. They ask him about what they’ve been up to and how their studies are going. The conversation is easy and light-hearted. For everyone. Except you. You don’t utter the word. 
It’s later when you do the dishes that Rindou approaches you. For some unknown reason you know it’s him and not Ran. He stops a few steps away from you and you tense. Your shoulders stiff and fingers gripping the white plate too harsh. You think you can hear it’s cracking. 
He sighs and then chuckles. “Hey. Can you keep secrets?” 
The plate did shatter that evening in the beginning of summer of 2004. 
Ⅷ. “So what you are trying to say is that you killed a person?” You ask. 
It’s pitch dark around and if not for the bleak light of the flashlight the only thing you would see would be tree crowns and star kissed sky above them. 
“Yes.” Says Ran. He leans on the tall cypress with his arms crossed around his chest and you can’t help, but think that his white loose t-shirt is going to be dirty from the dry bark. 
Rindou is fast to intervene and correct his older brother. He doesn’t want you to be afraid of them or think they are something they aren’t so he takes a deep breath and adjusts his glasses - they are still round shaped just as when he was a kid - explaining.. “We didn’t really kill anyone. It’s just that the bastard died cause we beat the shit out of him.” 
“Were you okay?” 
“Not a scratch. He kicked me a couple of times in the ribs.” Rindou is confused by your question. Still he answers it the best he can. “Oh and Ran’s knuckles were scraped you could almost see bones.” 
Slowly you nod, releasing a breath you didn’t know you were holding. So that’s why they weren’t visiting their grandparents for all those years. They were in juvie. Not because they found you and your little village boring. 
You bit your lip fidgeting on the cold wooden floor of the old shrine. Rindou sits next to you and you can feel his intent gaze. 
“Your hair looks gorgeous, but what with this inverted look?” 
“It was Ran’s idea. I do like it though. Oh! And we have a matching tattoo. Wanna see?” 
You do and Rindou eagerly strips off his shirt. You can’t see much. It’s too dark to make out the patterns of black lines. However you can see that the tattoo is huge and it covers the right side of his body. It stops abruptly in the middle of his torso and while Rindou twirls to show you his tattooed back, you think you understand why his tattoo is only a half. 
It’s because Rindou is himself half of the Haitani brothers. 
“It goes down my leg too. I’ll show it to you tomorrow.” Says Rindou picking his t-shirt up and putting it on. “Hurt like a motherfucking bitch, but it looks cool and it gets me girls so I’d do it again. And it also kinda has meaning to it.” 
“Good to know you acknowledge our matching tattoo as meaningful.” You don’t know if Ran is joking or mad or if he is just mentioning it to show you that he too does have a tattoo, not aware that you already have figured it out. He catches your gaze on him and the corners of his lips tug upward. “I am not stripping.” 
“I wasn’t expecting you to.” 
“Good.” 
Somehow it’s you who gets embarrassed and not him. Which of course makes you mad at Ran and for the rest of the evening you only pay attention to Rindou who’s super happy for that. He too does think his brother can be an unbearable bastard, but he senses there’s something else to your anger towards Ran. Something that smells sweet and sugary; like a burnt caramel. 
They walk you to your house and you, remaining in your petty mood, wish goodnight only to Rindou. Barely acknowledging Ran’s presence. And it’s the way his eyes are so calm and thin lips part slightly as he feigns a huge effort not to smile that Rindou understands this summer is going to be a mess. 
Ⅸ. One morning you are at their house. Your mom sent you over with plum pickles she promised Haitani’s grandma the other day. You don’t really understand why they couldn’t come and pick them up themselves, but when you mention it your mother gives you a stern look. She mutters something along the lines of lost generation and ungrateful children and your only wish is to disappear so you pick up the carton package with jars and run off to the Haitanis. 
They don’t live that far. Their house is only some blocks away. Still when you are at the front step you are out of your breath, hands going numb. You whine and curse hoping no one is in the yard. You doubt their grandma or grandpa would tell on you, you just don’t want to make a bad impression. 
It’s Rindou who catches you though. He is in the garden working out and listening to music on his Sony Walkman. It’s loud and you can hear it through his headphones meters away from you. 
“Oi! Morning. What’s that?” He jogs over to you and with ease takes the carton box in one hand, opens the lid with his free hand. When he sees what’s inside he smiles a pretty toothy smile. “Should’ve told me to help you.” 
“Are you saying it because you genuinely wanted to help me or because it’s plum pickles?” He grins at you and you gasp, theatrically and too loud, wanting to sound offended. “Can’t believe you, Haitani.” 
Inside the house it smells like fresh steamed rice, miso soup and sour pickled vegetables. Once you greet Haitani’s grandma who’s busy preparing breakfast in the kitchen, you offer to help her, but she shoo you and Rindou away, promising that she’s almost done anyway. Instead she asks you to prepare the table and begs Rindou to go shower and wake his brother up. “That boy. He does sleep a lot and you start thinking something is wrong with him. He is like a bear our Ran.” 
“A bear that is built like a stick. Don’t know where all that food he eats goes to.” It’s Haitani’s grandpa and you turn around to bow at him. “He is quite handsome, our Ran, hm. Right, little bird?” 
There’s this awful embarrassment inside your chest that ignites a fire and you look at the ground, hiding your confused torn face from everyone’s peculiar eyes. You furrow your eyebrows and pinch the skin of your arm to focus and come up with some good comeback. Something smart that won’t give you away because oh god of course you think Ran is handsome. You aren’t blind to think he is not. 
Just when you raise your head there’s loud footsteps coming from the stairs. It’s Ran. He is shirtless and his long hair is messy and loose, eyes barely open. He is wearing an identical to Rindou’s black sports shorts that look twice bigger than his actual needed size. Maybe they are just wide fit. You don’t really know. It doesn't really matter, does it? 
“Why do you have to be so loud? It’s literally what… eight in the morning?” He rasps, yawning. 
“It’s well past eight, Ran. Go get yourself ready and look presentable. We have a guest over.” 
“Yes, grandma.” 
You think he didn’t hear anything and return to your task of placing a hot pot with miso soup on the table. But he did and he makes sure you know that as he brushes past you and whispers. “So?” 
“So what?” 
“Do I look good or not? You haven’t answered, because I saved your ass from embarrassment.” 
“And?” 
“And now it’s your payback. Do I or do I not?” 
He doesn’t get the answer that morning. Only a scowl and a roll of your pretty eyes. 
Hours later however when you are waiting for Rindou who forgot his backpack as you were going to meet up with your school friend at Ogaya Shibazakura Park to have a picnic and enjoy beautiful pink moss, Ran asks you again. He's impatient and if you knew him any less you’d think he is worried what you might answer. 
For the first time since you’ve met all those years ago Ran looks boyish and uncertain. It kills you, because it looks like he is in pain. Like he is hurting as he expects you to say something. 
In the end you give up. You say that yes, he is handsome, but then…
Whatever else you wanted to say was never heard. Ran finds your hand and intertwining your fingers with his brings you closer. He searches your face for any reason why he shouldn’t, why it’s wrong or why it might hurt you and why you might not want him or anything, anything that would halt him and play as if he never wanted to kiss you. But he doesn’t see any of these, only your nervous eyes and so he leans in and kisses you, slipping his tongue inside your parted mouth. 
There’s nothing gentle in your first ever kiss. It’s sloppy and messy and it bleeds the prettiest raw adoration you have for each other. 
You drown in Ran and he lets you for a very long time. 
When Rindou comes running you both sit on the pavement and he notices how unusually calm it is around here. As if the whole world was separated by the thin invisible glass while he wasn’t there. 
He isn’t sure where he stands. With you on the other side or with the rest of the world. 
Ⅹ. After that day Ran kisses you every chance he gets. 
He is shameless about it and he doesn’t care if someone walks in on you. He kisses you in his house when no one is in sight and he kisses you in your house when he slips inside your bedroom while everyone else is busy preparing dinner or talking.  
He kisses you on your walks when Rindou says he needs to use the toilet or when Rindou is swimming in the river chatting up your friends so he isn’t paying any attention to you two. He kisses you late at night when you hike the mountain and you two not so accidentally get separated from your other friends and Rindou. 
He kisses you when he sneaks out of his house to come see you because that particular day he hasn't kissed you yet and he desperately needs to feel your soft lips on his, unless he wants to deal with the dull pain in his bones. 
He kisses you and kisses you and one day he is unable to stop. You sit in the tatami room where many summers ago he comforted you as best as a twelve years old could. And now you sit on his lap and his large delicate hands caress your body. You can’t believe he killed someone with these tender lovely hands that arouse goosebumps all over your skin. The thoughts don't stay for long because soon enough Ran kisses under your jaw and then he bites your neck, sucking too harshly you yelp. He licks the bite as a lame sorry you don’t really believe in. 
It’s when his hands slip under your t-shirt and he yanks it off you, you put your hands on his shoulders, stopping him. 
Everything feels too much. Everything feels too good. Too bright. Too intense. You are burning in his hands. “Ran, I don’t think we should. They can be back any time now.” 
He lifts his hand from your waist then and cradles your face in them, bringing you closer to him. His forehead falls on yours and it’s only now that you notice how fast his breathing is. He licks his lips pecking you twice or thrice or maybe more times, you don’t count. You can’t count. “I think… I believe… You know when you fight the adrenaline is kicking in and you go all crazy. Every move is mechanical.” 
You have no idea what he is talking about, but you hum, wanting him to continue. 
“With you it’s worse. Ten times worse than in a fight. I get so violent when I am with you. I can’t fucking help it. I think I am…” 
You swallow his words with a kiss. Year younger than him you know better than letting him admit that he is in love with you. For both of your sakes. Still your heart hurts and tears emerge in your eyes. Ran kisses them off your face. He doesn’t know why you are crying and he doesn’t want to. He’d hate himself if he knew he was the reason. 
So you kiss him and while you do you slip your hands to your back taking your bra off. 
After all, you too, are weak before him. 
Ⅺ. It’s late. The summer of 2004 is almost over. Three more days and they’ll be back in Tokyo. Until next summer. Or maybe until forever. 
It does feel like their last summer in Nishiawakura-son. 
Ran smokes the Seven Stars he brought with himself all the way from Tokyo. He isn’t a smoker really. The occasional cigarette is put between his teeth only at parties or in good company. It’s his first time smoking alone and he isn’t sure it does feel good, but it numbs him enough to smoke just one more and the last one until there’s nothing left in the package. 
That’s how Rindou finds him outside of their old family house in the small forgotten village. With a lit cigarette in his mouth, shirtless, looking at the small yellow dancing dots. 
“Do you remember when you were afraid of fireflies?” Ran asks, taking a puff. The cigarette smells awful. Bitter. “You used to pee yourself, you were so afraid of them.” 
“That's cause your mean ass told me it was spirits.” 
“Maybe they actually are.” 
“Oh come on, Ran. Don’t!” 
“Are you still afraid?” 
“Absolutely not. You just sound stupid.” 
Ran side eyes his younger brother and Rindou elbows him between his ribs. They both laugh and for a good minute it’s the only sound around there. Everything in this village does seem dead until you are the reason to bring life to it. It’s like a domino effect. You do something and your doing provokes a chain reaction. 
“So you two are…” Starts Rindou, kicking the dirt under his flip flop. 
“Yes.” 
“You don’t know what I wanted to say.” 
“I do.” 
“No you fucking don’t.” 
Ran smiles sweetly at his brother. His first favourite person on this Earth. “Okay then. Ask.” 
“So you two are together?” 
“That’s exactly what I thought you wanted to ask, Rin. And yes we are, but I haven’t asked her out, cause it’s obvious that we are together.” 
“How is it obvious? I only knew something was going on because I know you and I know her.” 
“It’s obvious because we kiss, we make l… we fuck and we do all shit people who are together are doing.” 
Despite his best judgement Rindou grins. “Make love, Ran? Really? Where?” 
“In our room, her room, tatami room. Shrine.” 
“Disgusting. I am sorry I asked.” 
“You are excused.” 
Silence falls over them again. This time longer. Ran finishes his cigarette and takes the pack to the steel garbage can a few metres away. He comes back and stands near Rindou. The street lamp provides them with enough illumination to see their surroundings and still be able to see stars. It’s beautiful here, they both think. It’s like you are at the end of the world, they know. 
“Wanna know what I am thinking, Ran?” Rindou speaks first again. The curse of little brother to start all conversations. “Next summer she should come to Tokyo. She should come and stay there with us. You should ask her to. Have you ever asked her what she’s gonna do when she finishes school?” 
“No.” 
“Really? Do you just bang all the time?” 
“Pretty much. She’s got nice…” 
“Absolutely not.” 
They both laugh. The night gets chilly the way it does only in mountains before dawn and so they return home.
Before Ran falls asleep he promises himself to speak with you first thing next - or rather this - day. He believes you have something special and he knows he isn’t the best person to transform his feelings into words he still wants to try. For you. For him. He closes his eyes. Bitter taste of Seven Stars dissolving on his tongue. 
Summer 2004 in Nishiawakura-son was good. Everyone was happy. 
Everyone was hopeful.
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