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make-me-imagine · 2 years

Text

Good Enough

Requests: "What is it about me that isn't good enough?" + "You're the most beautiful person I've ever met. Inside and out." + "You are my favorite part of every day." + comfort fluff with Hawkeye Requested By: Anon and @starlit-epiphany

Pairing: Hawkeye Pierce x GN!Reader

Warnings: Brief mentions of cheating, and also a kiss.

Words: 1.6k

You absentmindedly stirred your cold coffee as you stared off into space. You were the only one in the mess tent, which wasn't surprising. It was the middle of the night, and your shift had ended. You tried to sleep, but couldn't, so here you were, sitting alone in the light of a small lantern.

Barely registering that the door had opened and closed, you didn't bother to look back. Not even as someone as beside you. You only paid attention when you felt yourself nudged in the side. Looking over, you found Hawkeye staring at you, a look of concern on his face. You realized that it must be later than you thought if Hawkeye was off his shift now as well.

"Oh. Hi Hawk." You said casually as you sat up a bit straighter.

"Hi? That's what I get? I spoke to you for a solid minute and got no response. What's up?" He asked, before taking a sip of his coffee, wincing and promptley setting it back down.

You let out a small breath and shook your head. "Just tired" you smiled. "Couldn't sleep" You looked back at your coffee, unsure if you should tell him what happened.

It was hard enough for you that Hawkeye didn't have the same feelings for you that you had for him. You'd feel only embarrassed to tell him of your similar situation with someone else.

He nodded his head a bit still watching you closely. "Okay, out with it." He said a bit more forcefully, and you looked at him with surprise. "Come on you can't keep secrets from me." He said as he motion his hand at you.

'That's what you think.' You thought to yourself before you cleared your throat. "It's a bit embarrassing." You admitted.

"I wont laugh." He said as he raised his hand up, as if making an oath.

You smiled at the gesture, before letting out a long breath. "Uh, so, I've been, sort of seeing someone for the last few weeks." You paused and looked over at Hawkeye.

Part of you hoped to see jealousy cross his face, but you didn't really expect it. So when you saw him seem to adjust himself uncomfortably, you felt your chest tighten. "Oh, I didn't know that. Uh, wh-who is this lucky gentlemen? Or gentlelady, I don't judge." He quickly joked, and you rolled your eyes lightly.

"Patrick, the newer MP."

"Ah, yeah, I've seem him around."

You nodded your head. "Yeah, well...I thought he really liked me ya' know? I thought we had a somewhat serious thing going on, but earlier, when I went to do inventory, I uh- caught him in a rather revealing situation with a nurse."

Hawkeye watched your face fall as you said this, and he felt anger rise in his chest. He let out a deep breath and shook his head. "Bastard." He mumbled under his breath. "And I assume this is at least one of the reasons you can't sleep?"

You shrugged lightly. "I wish it didn't effect me so much, but, it does."

Your mind began to wander, and you started talking, slowly as you stared at the tent wall. "There was this guy in high school, I really, really liked, he even asked me to prom. But the day before, I found out he asked someone else instead, and went with them. Then there was a guy in college. I thought for a short while I was gonna marry him. Then he left me for someone else. And then-"

You stopped short, as you thought to yourself. 'And then there was you. The crazy, hilarious, but heart-felt and kind Doctor I fell head over heels for, who would never see me the same way.'

"And now Patrick." You said softly before shaking your head. "I guess I just don't get it. What is it about me that isn't good enough?"

Hawkeye felt his heart break as you said this, your eyes falling to the table as your face fell. How cold you think you weren't good enough? You were more than enough, for anyone. It was other's who weren't good enough for you. Including himself.

Leaning a bit closer to you, he spoke in a soft voice, but it was heavy with feeling. "Don't you dare think for a minute, that you aren't good enough for those guys. You are the one they didn't deserve. You are the one Patrick is missing out on. If he can't see that then he's a bigger idiot than I thought. You are kind, generous, smart, and brave. Look at me Y/n."

Tentatively you met his eyes, and he smiled softly as he continued. "You're the most beautiful person I've ever met. Inside and out." Placing his hand on top of yours, he seemed almost lost for words before he met your eyes again. "Hell, you are my favorite part of every day. You make me remember the good in the world, even out here, in the middle of this damn war. And if a schmuck like me can see that, they should too. But if they don't, then that only means they don't deserve to be anything to you, so don't waste your heart on them."

Your heart was pounding heavily, and your eyes burned hot as you listened to him speak. You never knew he thought that way about you, and a part of you wished he didn't. It only made you fall harder for him. Which in turn, only made you hurt more.

"Hell, if I was lucky enough to be with you, I would never let you go."

You felt your neck and ears burn hot at his comment, and you looked away timidly, pulling your hand away from his. "You don't need to say these things just to make me feel better Hawkeye."

He frowned, shaking his head. "Y/n, I'm not just saying them, I mean them, honestly."

You met his eyes again, and smiled, speaking in a joking tone. "And here I thought, I wasn't your type."

He tilted his head a bit. "And why would you think that?" He was not joking, his face held a serious expression.

You looked at him with a furrowed brow. "You're kidding right?" You almost scoffed.

He shook his head, and you felt your chest tighten. "Well, I mean, the nurses I see you with, they're all so different than I am."

"When was the last time you saw me with a nurse?"

You opened you mouth to speak, but faltered, actually thinking about it. You couldn't recall any time recently that you saw him chasing after a nurse. "I- I don't remember, but that's not the point."

"No, the point is-" he paused as he turned, swinging his leg over the bench to face you entirely, "-that none of them compare to you. And ever since I got to know you, none of them have shined a light to you. If I had less control over myself I'd probably follow you around like a love-sick puppy." His face fell a bit as he saw how taken aback you were. "But I hid it a bit to well didn't I?"

You nodded your head a bit as you swung your own leg over, facing him. "I had no idea. I thought you'd never be interested in someone like me."

A soft, almost sad smile crossed his face as he reached forward taking your hands in his again. "You're the first person I think I've ever met that I thought, or felt this seriously about. And I guess, that scared me. So maybe I did push those feelings away, hid them. But I do feel them. And.... I know you may feel like you can't trust me, due to my, admittedly amorous reputation. But I can assure you, I could never hurt you, nor would I ever want to."

You swallowed the lump in your throat as you gently squeezed his hand. "I trust you Hawkeye."

He met your eyes and smiled softly.

"And just so you know, Patrick doesn't compare to you either."

His smile grew bigger. "Now your just buttering me up."

You let out a soft laugh and shook your head, looking down at your intertwined hands.

"I'm sorry he hurt you." He added softly.

You smiled as you met his eyes, shrugged your head. "You're right, he isn't worth me wasting my heart on."

He smiled, almost proudly, before his face changed, showing a more timid expression. "Do you think I might be worth it?"

You bit the inside of your lip lightly as you resisted smiling. You nodded your head. "I do. And I don't think it would be a waste."

His smile grew as his eyes flicked between your eyes and you lips. Slowly, the two of you leaned closer, pausing as your noses touched, your lips only an inch apart. Your eyes met and they both shined with various emotion. Together, you closed the space between you, your lips meeting almost cautiously, before you both deepened the kiss.

Slowly, you and Hawkeye both let go of each others hands. Yours rose, one gently placed on his neck, the other gently grabbing his loose shirt. Hawkeye's hands cupped your face as he deepened the kiss.

When you both ran out of breath, you pulled away, resting your foreheads against one another as you stared at each other gaily. Gently caressing your face he pecked your lips quickly.

"I don't want this to end, but if we don't get any sleep, we'll be zombies tomorrow." He said softly, and you could see the exhaustion of the day in his eyes.

You yourself felt fatigue begin to wash over you and you nodded. "Only promise this isn't already a dream."

He smiled brightly, leaning in and kissing you gently.

"I promise."

xx End xx

General Taglist: @criminaly-supernatural, @caswinchester2000, @imaginesfire, @rexit-moMASH Taglist: @thatadroitgeek, @whimsical-daydreams, @meganlpie, @hybrid-omegaverse, @multifandomfix

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icarus-fli3s-high · 2 years

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Safe

Hello this is my first time putting out anything writing or reader inserts on this platform, please leave any ideas in the notes and tell me what you think.

summary: Ben "Hawkeye" Pierce has been eating the same army food for almost years, and when it comes to army food texture isn't there. But, a friend was able to bring him that and he returns the favour.

Deathly, poisonous, no good, those were the words that flooded your mind as you took a tray of food from Igor. You looked around hoping to see Hawkeye, anywhere, but he was nowhere to be found. Shrugging you sat with BJ and Major Houlihan, they welcomed you as Charles took the seat next to you.

“Hey, have any of you seen Hawkeye at all?” you asked, looking around the table.

“Come to think of it, I haven't, we finished in OR and he ran off somewhere,” BJ said as Klinger came in. you caught him by the elbow and asked him the same.

“I don’t really know Major,” he said, “I saw him moping around storage though,” Klinger said as he went to go get food, or what you could call food. On your way to the storage room, you stopped by your tent and grabbed some snacks that your little sister had sent you. Grabbing the small bag, you picked up and went in search of your friend. You had no clue where he was, but you guessed he was in his hiding place, a place in the back of the storage room on a pile of blankets. You made your way past all of the shelves and to the back seeing him sitting there- you had known he was skipping meals but thought that BJ had taken care of it. You finally got to his place and saw Hawkeye leaning against the wall, his eyes were closed but he looked up when he heard me walk in. We both needed the same thing, some texture.

“What,” he grumbled as I sat next to him, “Did BJ send you?” you still said nothing, choosing to stay silent. You pulled out the box of food and he looked at me with puffy eyes.

“I brought this,” was all you said, it was all you needed to say to see Ben perk up. The two of you sat silently and ate what was in your box. After it was mostly gone, he leaned over, his head resting on your shoulder as you reached up and ran a hand through his hair that was already salt and pepper from stress. These were the worst conditions to be working in, but they were your conditions. Ben pulled an arm around you and fell to his side still pinning you in place next to him. I felt his breathing slow to an easy pattern and pulled a blanket over us since there was no waking the man and decided you might as well get some shut eye too.

You awoke to a very flustered Fr Mulcahy, who looked down at you and Ben with Klinger next to him shaking his head. You poked Hawkeye’s arm as he woke up, well attempting to wake up. He grumbled something about the way it can wait, but you did have choppers come in not a second later. He sat up and stretched.

“But the wounded can’t,” and you nodded looking at your audience as he greeted them walking past. You believe Fr Mulcahy was thinking he was going to find you in a more compromising situation. You clapped him on the shoulder as you left to get ready for OR.

“Father whatever did you expect?” you asked, and he grew bright red, “That's what I thought”, you smiled as the padre hightailed it as you followed getting scrubbed up and ready for surgery.

After ten bloody hours you went into get cleaned up throwing your scrubs off and grabbing your green jacket with a huff. You did not know what to do, you had done everything you could, and you lost three men tonight- three boys would never go home. You reached into your shirt and pulled a picture that you kept over your heart inside your bra. It was your kid brother, who was eighteen years old last year and you felt yourself crumble a little bit- if you lost him, you didn’t know what you would do, so you kept him close and hoped he was still alive wherever his unit was. You slumped into the storage room into the back onto the pile of blankets and let yourself go, tears flowing freely knowing that the chances of your brother or your father going home were slim to none. You wanted to die. There was no hope for you- you wanted to go home- you wanted to see your mother and your dogs, you wanted to hold your nieces and nephews, you wanted to cook for yourself, you wanted to play piano in the room that looked out into the garden. You wanted to play in the snow, to run your horses and move the sheep to new pastures. You didn’t want to be here.

You shut your eyes. As all your emotions came out you felt a hand on your shoulder, you looked up with glassy eyes to see Ben standing there, he reached his arms, and you tugged him down next to you.

“Why are you here?” you asked and pressed your face into his neck.

“Returning a favor,” he returned and ran his hands through your hair, you nodded spilling a new bout of tears. You felt a sense of safety around him that you would never understand, it wasn’t friends, there was something more. But for now, you were safe.

#hawkeye pierce x reader #mash 4077 #benjamin hawkeye pierce #mash 50th anniversary #one shot #billy hargrove fluff #angst #x reader

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