I don't have a god complex. I have a devil complex. I don't want to force you to resist your beautiful desires. I want to force you to give to every desire and treat me like every touch will burn you but you want to fucking turn into ash. God only wants you to pray to him. I want you to cry for me, scream for me, hurt for me, cum for me, laugh for me, live for me. I want you to feel like a traitor to yourself for ever saying no to me because you know as well as I do that my desires are only your desires given a mirror and you deserve to do what you want and I deserve to bear witness. I would give this silly world to watch you burn yourself to nothing on my skin. What, pray tell, would you give-- for a chance at that?

you motherfuckers have no concept of what "land back" or "decolonize" even mean. you're too busy demonizing entire groups of people, terrified, shitting yourselves, that they'll do even half of the horrors to you that you've done to them for decades or centuries. this shit comes off as hella racist for real. you hate arabs so much. you hate first nations people so much. you hate black people so much. even if you sympathize with them, you can't fucking bear the idea of them gaining freedom, independence, autonomy, safety, because you're so, so scared they'll hurt you back and cause chaos in the streets. these same people who just want to rebuild. who just want to go home. who just want to see their families again. who just want food. who just want medical care. who just want dry, warm shelter. you're so focused on the ideas of colonization, of "us vs. them", of one people displacing the other for a state to exist, that you cannot comprehend coexistence, and your only idea of peace is if an entire group of people were just gone and dead.

grow the fuck up. for the love of GOD, grow the fuck up.

The Curse Of Hope

_

Danny is in another universe. He had a reason, but he doesn’t remember anymore. He can only stare, horrified and disgusted, at the sickest city spirit he’s ever seen. Shivering and swaying with every step, core exposed, and ectoplasm leaking from wounds that are decades old. A ratty blanket was thrown over their shoulders, barely hiding the spirit’s pale grey skin and protruding black bones.

The spirit didn’t even sense him until he reached out to touch its wispy shoulders. The spirit flinched, clutching at the dozens of trinkets hanging from their neck and tucking in on themselves like they were expecting a blow.

“Oh, shit,” He swore, floating back a few feet, hands in the air, to show he meant no harm. “I’m sorry. I promise, I’m not here to steal from you.” The spirit shivered again and rolled a pearl necklace in between their fingers. A nervous habit. “Uh, I like that pocket watch? It’s very nice.”

That got their attention. They peeked at Danny, and he saw that more tattered cloth was covering their eyes, blending in with the stringy hair that reached the ground. Their blanket fluttered weakly, revealing hundreds of thousands of tiny marks etched into their skin. Scars, really. Scars that wrote out curse after curse onto the spirit’s very being. They burned with evil intent, and even reached inside the spirit’s body and wrapped around their core.

Occasionally, blinding specks of color raced across their body, temporarily erasing the writing, but it always returned quickly. He watched, a little detached, as one particular line rewrote itself across their rough forearm, drawing fresh ectoplasm like someone was writing it with a thin knife.

“Are you…alright?” Danny stuttered. A stupid question.

The spirit cocked its head. He couldn’t see their eyes, but he felt their burning gaze as they pondered the question.

“The pain of others becomes mine own.” They rasped. “The lights of the city dim as rotten wealth clogs mine veins. Magicks long forgotten have eaten mine skins, pulled mine cloak, and darkened mine skies. Helios has refused to grace mine doorstep, and the seasons of the Earth have revoked their kindness.”

Danny held his breath. It felt like he was the one with the exposed core, not the spirit.

The spirit shivered once more. “Tell mine soul, little lamb. How could this Forsaken City know peace, when it was long since ripped from mine hands?”

Shit, he needed Frostbite. And maybe Clockwork. Now.

-Or-

Danny meets the spirit of Gotham City. The villains and rogues that have plagued the city for decades are literal curses that are taking quite the toll on Gotham, and honestly, Danny isn’t sure how much longer they can hold out. The heroes seem to be doing some help, and are probably the reason Gotham made it this far, but the poor city needs help from the Realms if they want to get better.

Luckily, Danny can provide that help.

But only if he could get Gotham to leave their city behind. Because recovery is going to take a very long time.

house: this has absolutely nothing to do with wilson

also house: [brings up wilson unprompted] [spends 95% of the session either talking about wilson or deliberately avoiding talking about wilson] [literally admits it’s about wilson]

As an honorary Shidou apologist, I am breaking my silence. I’ve finally decided to go on a rant on why I don't think Kirisaki Shidou is an organ harvester.

(fair warning I like absolutely suck ass at organizing my thoughts, so if some of this is incoherent or if it seems like i'm repeating myself my bad 😭 I mainly wrote this for fun)

So, I'm aware that this theory is the most popular consensus when it comes to Shidou (and tbh, I think part of it is because a lot of people kinda look over him? Like at least a tiny bit more than the others, considering a lot of people also don’t realize how his main victim was probably his son and not his wife, but I digress) (plus I think all milgram characters are looked over to a certain extent). While I do think parts of it are probably accurate in some way, I don't think he was a full-on organ harvester (as in he actively stole from patients through illegal means. emphasis on actively) and that the theory in and of itself is flimsy at best. He's morally questionable, yes, but it’s more in the sense that he’s a somewhat apathetic guy who lacked understanding on how his own set of morals and values (i.e. pushing for organ donation) could be seen as wrong. So if he were an organ harvester, wouldn’t he be aware that it’s illegal? That’s what confuses me whenever people bring it up. I don't actually doubt that he may have done something illegal for his family's sake, it’s just that I still highly doubt it was something he actively did. And that seems to be what a lot of people think when they refer to the theory. (if i’m wrong please forgive me, i just assume organ harvester shidou = people think he did it as a job)

Anyways, more under the cut for those interested (it's a bit lengthy my apologies)

It then kinda trickles down to how his guilt stems more from the consequences of his actions rather than the actual action of taking organs. The root of his guilt comes from the realization that basically asking families to pull the plug and use their loved ones' organs for donation is a very, very hard decision; one that he kept pressuring for. If he was an illegal organ harvester, and was aware that his actions were in fact illegal, why the hell would he feel so guilty to the point that he’d start having suicidal ideations? That’s the key difference between his profession and his possible criminal activities; one is a burden both emotionally and morally, the other is more or less a literal burden. And based off of Shidou's character, he seems to be much more emotionally affected. That's also why I think a lot of people jump to the conclusion that his guilt stems from his actual actions rather than their effects. (does that make sense oh lord i am going ☝️🤓 so hard rn)

I get that some parts of his MV or lyrics seem to be suggesting that, but also it’s important to note that Shidou has a very strong bias against himself and definitely painted himself in a negative light. I mean, that's why he thinks every single preceding patient before the final incident is a victim to him, why he shows himself staying professional in a professional setting as apathetic (minus the pressuring part), and why he literally equates his job to STEALING. Not only that but, imo, it's also a little too unrealistic and might not actually fit the criteria of Milgram. Milgram is for crimes that are in a morally grey area. So if it really was organ harvesting, is it really in a grey area? (though I guess you could say that doing it for family's sake would be, but that's only for his family. He'd have no reason to do it otherwise). Plus, it'd make more sense and fit the theme of touching upon social issues (i.e. abortion, bullying, societal standards, mental health, etc.) if shidou’s entire dilemma was in regards to (albeit questionably done) organ donation, a complicated ethical topic in Japan.

Throw Down actually gives a pretty good rough idea of Shidou's thoughts towards his crime and his feelings in regards to it. He felt like he was blinded by his own values, and that inadvertently caused him to be unaware of the suffering he caused through his job. It really does shock me that he somehow was able to pull-off getting a forgiven verdict in T1 because he certainly comes off as cold and uncaring in regards to his work.

I think the final bridge in Throw Down kinda summarizes his entire mindset, actually.

​​Now slowly close your eye, put your regret on display Wishing you for someone else's sake With the same expression no matter who comes I don’t feel scared because I don’t know

Shidou doesn't quite understand the feelings of his patient's families, and therefore he acts remorseful and sympathetic more than he actually feels. Why? Well, because he didn't know. Up until that point, he never understood the weight of his actions, and focused on his role as a doctor. "This is an upsetting subject, yes, but it's for the greater good, right?” A braindead person has little to no chances of living, so why not use this as an opportunity to donate their organs? Moreover, as a doctor I believe it’s typical to be "emotionally detached” (for lack of a better word) since I’d assume becoming emotionally connected with a patient would make things at least a bit messy.

His mindset comes crumbling down though, presumably because he experienced the same or a similar situation. This part remains muddy for me, since we don't know much about what the actual cause for Shidou's guilt is. There are several possibilities, with the most plausible ones being:

he lost his own family member and had to go through with the same decision,

he tried to save a family member using donated organs, but failed, making it seem like everything he has done as a doctor was in vain

(a secret third option would be him making someone he cares about make that decision but it's very unlikely and also requires too much mental gymnastics)

But no matter what exactly he did, it all trickles down to the validity of his morals. After realizing the pain of losing a loved one, the struggle of trying to save them, and the unfortunate failure which left all efforts practically pointless, Shidou would understand the actual weight of his actions and why all those families were so reluctant to let go of their own.

This is even more evident in his T2 voice drama, Asclepius.

"In order to save the life of someone you don't know, please let me kill your family," I told them. It doesn't even take much thinking to realize how cruel that is, but… I didn't realize it until the very end.

This is the gist of Shidou's crime, or at least part of it (considering he says "Well, about halfway" when Es asks if their judgment was right). Again, this tells us that Shidou's guilt comes from the act of the effects of organ donation rather than the literal action. And this also implies that his "murders" did in fact have to do with being in a medical situation, it's just the way he went about it was at the very least morally questionable.

I will also acknowledge that he says he killed for selfish reasons, which most likely relates to trying to save his own family member. Here he could possibly have actually done something illegal such as tampering with patients or illegally taking their organs (latter is a stretch imo). Plus, his distorted T2 voice trailer line is literally "You're in the way, hurry up and die" which would only make sense in the context of waiting for a patient to die. But it could also just be him continuing to pressure for organ donation, but now with his own selfish motives.

Going back to the "halfway" comment, while I personally believe it might have to do with how Shidou views his crime as more than just taking organs, it more likely implies that something else happened that Shidou would consider murder. That being the actual death of his family member. It's implied through Throw Down that he was trying to save someone but failed, which he was responsible for. Then from there it'd make sense to assume that he would feel some form of guilt for the rest of his patients, either for the reason of failing to actually utilize donated organs even with the opportunity of being able to save them, or for just realizing the what it actually feels like to have to give up on your loved one. (does. does that make any sense.)

So yeah, I don’t think he’s an organ harvester due to what’s known regarding his crime, the reasoning for his guilt, and with the way he is as a character. The most I’d personally believe is that he decided to harvest organs for the sake of his loved one, but even that seems like a stretch to me. Thus, that is why I believe Kirisaki Shidou is not an organ harvester.

Anyways I’ve rambled on long enough, thank you for reading if you did and remember to drink water and vote shidou innocent in trial 3 because i will shit my pants if he doesn't get inno

Listen, if and when we get a Luigi's Mansion Movie I don't want to hear a single pop song. I can grit my teeth and bear it in The Mario Bros. Movie, but the soundtrack for Luigi's Mansion had better be filled with so much creepy piano and dissonant chords and tremolo played on so many strings in such a minor key that Danny Elfman would be like "tone it down a little."

"He's spent the entire time being picked upon and bullied by the family. I think personally from where Juan stands he sees the hypocrisy in the family, how they can do one thing and say another. As far as Juan is concerned he's always had the best interests of the family at heart, however misguided that might be and doesn't quite comprehend why nobody understands that. Nobody seems to understand that what he does, he does for the betterment of the Borgia clan and never waivers from that. He does that in ways that perhaps aren't sanctioned by the church or sanctioned by family law."

I'm convinced that the people saying Chuuya is never anyones first option have only ever seen the horrible destruction of characters and their relationships that bones has animated.

Fic prompt: The Pink Ladies and the T-Birds become convinced that Cynthia’s dating someone and won’t leave her alone until she tells them so she freaks out and tells them she’s dating Buddy

Immediately afterwards she rushes to Buddy’s house and pretty much goes “hey so I know that I’ve told you over and over again how much I hate you but can you pretty please pretend to date me” and he’s like ok fine but you owe me

And so the entire thing is just those two fumbling around trying to convince everyone that they’re dating (which is much harder for Cynthia than it is for Buddy) and the two of them becoming actual friends

ARTEMYRA WAYCREST ⬩ high half-elf ⬩ warlock ⬩ noble

I'm unhealthily obsessed with Slay The Princess now, and lemme tell you, the crush I have with the big scary versions of the Princess is immeasurable. All I have to say is that if this 12ft tall lady

pummeled me to death with her fists and knees, I'd only say "Yes ma'am! Thank you very much, ma'am!" over and over again.

I mean, just look at her, the perfect woman.

@rottmntpeepawpolls​ vote 2AL and help me obliterate the most popular rise artist on tumblr please everyone accepting the fact that nothing can beat cass apocalyptic series and giving me pity is my only chance

i've started watching hannibal...free me from my mortal shell i want to spend all 24 hours of every single day watching this sad man trying to figure out why people are being killed whilst he his homoerotically teamed up with a man who secretly is doing some of the killing [and also the eating] and everyone's mental states are just rapidly falling apart

Hungry for more?

Masterlist

Dear God, help me. Where are my nameless saints? Where are the angels with their feathered wings to carry me down into hell? When they do come, are they the last beautiful thing that you see? As you go down into the lake of fire, can you still follow their progress heavenward? Can you hope for one last glimpse of their golden trumpets, and their upturned faces reflecting the radiance of the face of God? What do I know of heaven?

For long moments I stood there, staring at the distant night-scape of pure clouds, and then back at the twinkling lights of the new hotels, flash of headlamps.

A lone mortal stood on the far sidewalk, staring in my direction, but perhaps he did not note my presence at all-a tiny figure on the lip of the great sea. Perhaps he was only looking towards the ocean as I had been looking, as if the shore were miraculous, as if the water could wash our souls clean.

Once the world was nothing but the sea; rain fell for a hundred million years! But now the cosmos crawls with monsters. ~ Lestat, TotBT

plot heavy codywan fic rec

I have so many words to say about this fic so let’s start by getting to the main points ; 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/38064841

 Rasphody in Blue by @kckenobi  (88k words) is one hell of a fic that I will recommend until the day I wither and die. If you’re looking for a modern setting au with investigations, crime, orchestras, jazz, a very well-paced story, betrayal, angst, themes of loneliness and grief, found-family, look no further!! No really! Gods, go read it, right now, I BEG YOU. I cannot fathom how it doesn’t have more kudos than it already has. 

Now onto a more chaotic review of me dumping my thoughts on it in a random order directed at the author. I should’ve left it as a comment really, but now I’ve written it here it’s too late, oh well. Read, don’t read, it doesn’t contain any major spoilers, but if you’d rather have less information of the fic and go into it blind, then maybe don’t read it haha

- Firstly, GODS, the plot hooks. From the first chapter I was on the edge of my metaphorical seat. (I was in my bed.) Seriously, the plot hooks are so well placed I could not put it down. (I finished it at 2am. I didn’t even go to my class this morning I was too tired. But that’s on me. It is as much a demonstration of how captivating the story is as it is of my poor decision making.) The pace was so wonderful, seriously. I always picture a movie in my head when I read something, and with your writing it was so easy to do so, the perfect balance of dialogue, introspection, descriptions! Argh! 

- How you wrote loneliness. (’you’ meaning the author, if you’re reading this.) Okay to be fair those themes get to me, they always have, but let me tell you, I was bawling. I had to put down the fic because my eyes were too blurry to read. You bastard. I hate you but I love you. Arghdvjfd. The part that went  “The thing about loneliness is that in the end, it is a more loyal companion than anyone else has ever been. It becomes a shell you settle into, something familiar. Not a home, no longer a prison either. But a skin, something you reside within without really thinking about it, a barricade that walls off your heart from the rest of the world”   Do you live in my head??!!! You got it exactly right. You little shit I had to sit out the fic for two minutes it stole the breath outta me!! I cried!! Again!! Are you okay?? Because I sure am not!!

From the first few sentences I was in love with the whole orchestra setting. Oh my gods. All of it is so perfectly woven with the characters. (Cellist Obi-wan is now one of my all time favorite Obi-wans. It’s just so perfect.) I can just imagine all of the scene translated into a movie/tv show with one of those scenes where the classical music, shots of the character playing their instrument and shots of the dramatic action are superposed. So wonderful. I am also weak for the whole ‘your passion is there for you no matter how bad things get’. And how music was always there no matter all the GUT WRENCHING TERRIBLE ANGSTY SHIT Obi-wan goes through. Can relate to that.