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realityzap · 9 months

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"... applies to everyone. This is a must read for women, especially mothers who are burdened with shaping the next generation, but men would benefit as well. Despite the title this is not a book about religion, although Christianity is mentioned throughout for historical context and explanation as to where the ideas of patriarchy, and the Seven Deadly Sins originated from. Now I that I’ve seen them and have read detailed examples of how they perpetrate our culture, I can’t unsee them. The Seven Deadly Sins are everywhere. Our society is absolutely saturated with them. My hope is that this book will bring more awareness to their influence, make us aware of our internalized patriarchy, and help us heal it by breaking free from these toxic, mythical narratives that do nothing but enforced oppression." — review of On Our Best Behavior: The Seven Deadly Sins and the Price Women Pay to Be Good (2023)

"While I enjoy the perspective of psychological astrology, and the idea that we have three levels of health for expressing each of our planetary placements was helpful and new to me (similar to the Enneagram), this is a very basic book for beginners. It sets a good foundation if you’re very new to astrology and offers a quick reference if you’re more experienced. " — review of Use Your Planets Wisely: Master Your Ultimate Cosmic Potential with Psychological Astrology (2020)

— Chelsea

"A society in which self-realisation is central proceeds from the assumption that people are essentially good — so self-realisation is a good idea. A society that takes the opposing view of human nature will be focused on self-denial, because it’s all about keeping a check on evil impulses: regular monitoring is necessary, and a firm hand needed on the reins. This notion has dominated Western thought, taking its penultimate shape from Christian ethics. [...] Both religion and scientism instil in the individual a split identity that springs from a sense of deficiency. I am evil and sinful, or irrational and stupid. If I make enough effort, I can become good or rational, and those in power will help me by continually monitoring me and rewarding or punishing me. If large groups persist in their sinfulness (unbelievers) or stupidity (reactionaries), those in power have to take radical measures: mass conversion, re-education, or if needs be, eradication. Even perfectibility has its limits. Both religion and scientism regard present-day humans as imperfect; true perfection will only be found in the hereafter or in a distant future when society is run according to truly scientific principles. In both cases, this requires considerable personal sacrifice. Believers must pray and work hard to attain God’s mercy. The ignorant must study hard, and if necessary seek psychological counselling in order to attain reason through the proper insights."

— Paul Verhaeghe, What About Me? (2012/2014)

"Why do women equate self-denial with being good? We congratulate ourselves when we resist the donut in the office breakroom. We celebrate our restraint when we hold back from sending an email in anger. We feel virtuous when we wake up at dawn to get a jump on the day. We put others' needs ahead of our own and believe this makes us exemplary. In On Our Best Behavior, journalist Elise Loehnen explains that these impulses--often lauded as unselfish, distinctly feminine instincts--are actually ingrained in us by a culture that reaps the benefits, via an extraordinarily effective collection of mores known as the Seven Deadly Sins. Since being codified by the Christian church in the fourth century, the Seven Deadly Sins--pride, greed, lust, envy, gluttony, wrath, and sloth--have exerted insidious power. Even today, in our largely secular, patriarchal society, they continue to circumscribe women's behavior. For example, seeing sloth as sinful leads women to deny themselves rest; a fear of gluttony drives them to ignore their appetites; and an aversion to greed prevents them from negotiating for themselves and contributes to the 55 percent gender wealth gap. In On Our Best Behavior, Loehnen reveals how we've been programmed to obey the rules represented by these sins and how doing so qualifies us as "good." This probing analysis of contemporary culture and thoroughly researched history explains how women have internalized the patriarchy, and how they unwittingly reinforce it. By sharing her own story and the spiritual wisdom of other traditions, Loehnen shows how we can break free and discover the integrity and wholeness we seek."

— Penguin Random House, about On Our Best Behavior (2023)

"In a world where we’re often judged harshly for identifying and revealing our needs, doing so can be very frightening. Women, in particular, are susceptible to criticism. For centuries, the image of the loving woman has been associated with sacrifice and the denial of one’s own needs to take care of others. Because women are socialized to view the caretaking of others as their highest duty, they often learn to ignore their own needs. [...] In the course of developing emotional responsibility, most of us experience three stages: (1) “emotional slavery”—believing ourselves responsible for the feelings of others, (2) “the obnoxious stage”—in which we refuse to admit to caring what anyone else feels or needs, and (3) “emotional liberation”—in which we accept full responsibility for our own feelings but not the feelings of others, while being aware that we can never meet our own needs at the expense of others."

— Marshall Rosenberg, Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life (1999)

"Once needs were met, more income did not generate more contentment. It would appear that the acquisition of stuff and property beyond the basics doesn’t up your Zen quotient."

— Robert Lustig, The Hacking of the American Mind: The Science Behind the Corporate Takeover of Our Bodies and Brains (2017)

"An increasing number of women have more money and decision-making power, and it was only a matter of time before this trickled down to their romantic relationships. The more independent women become, the less likely they are to tolerate relationships that don’t meet their needs. While women are demanding that men be more emotionally fluent, men are still receiving a very different message about what their role in the dating world is. [...] “Health programs often view men mainly as oppressors—self-centered, disinterested, or violent—instead of as complex subjects whose behaviors are influenced by gender and sexual norms.” It’s one big, vicious cycle, where men’s individual actions confirm the beliefs of health care workers and then health care workers continue to treat them in a gendered way that doesn’t respond to their full set of needs."

— Liz Plank, For the Love of Men (2019)

#women #men #needs #self-denial #money #good #sin

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testudoaubrei-blog · 3 years

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Well, it’s not quite a master’s thesis, but this is (the first of) a series of posts on why Catra and Adora are the best love story in the history of kids TV animation and maybe the greatest love story in the history of TV. This may in some ways be faint praise - romance on TV is generally not very good compared with books or movies. Often it’s just some will they/won’t they sexual tension that is defused by getting characters together and re-heightened by breaking them up. TV is full of nearly shark jumping pointless dramas like Sam and Diane (Cheers, holy fuck am I dating myself, though that was technically before my time), Ross and Rachel (Friends, which was no Cheers) etc, but also some less annoying couples like Ben and Leslie (Parks and Rec) or Amy and Jake (Bk99) who are mostly just kind of cute and fun. Other shows, like the X-Files, teased viewers for years with unresolved sexual tension. In kids shows most romances are, appropriate for their target viewers, mild, sweet relationships based more on self-conscious flirting and blushing than on complex and conflicted feelings or deep passions - which is pretty realistic when the characters are young teens or even mid-teens. Some of these relationships are really well done - Finn and Flame Princess, Dipper and Pacifica (yeah I ship them), the early stages of Katara and Aang (before the showrunners imbued this childhood crush with cosmic significance), Steven and Connie, etc. Catra and Adora, though, are different. Their love story is not a side plot or a sub plot, it’s the heart of the show. It isn’t a childhood crush, it’s a very messy and passionate relationship between two young adults. She-Ra is an emotionally complex lesbian romance just as much as it is a thrilling action/adventure show. Everything about their relationship is baked into the show’s plot, its themes, hell even its musical score. The dramatic tension between Catra and Adora is not the result of stretching out a flirtation for ratings, but a coherent dramatic arc that runs through the entire show. As Noelle said, he made Catradora so central that execs couldn’t take it out without ruining the show. And the show is better for it. In this series of posts I’m going to try to show why, as well as showing why She-Ra is such a fantastic love story.

First off, let’s talk about how Catra and Adora’s character arcs are foils for each other, and how they come together and apart through the series. This is actually a post that I’ve been working on for a while but I keep summarizing the show rather than cutting to the chase, so I’m not going to recite many plot points so much as sketch out what’s going on with the dramatic structure at the time. But also, let’s talk about what each character’s arc is saying, and how they are commenting on each other. Spoiler alert: Catra’s arc is a subversion and critique of stories of empowerment through ruthless self-assertion and revenge, while Adora’s arc is a subversion and critique of chosen one narratives and stories of self-denial and self-transcendence.

When the show starts, Adora and Catra are shown as rivals and friends - their first scene starts the recurring motif of them reaching out for each other as one of them dangles above an abyss, as well as establishing their flirtatious banter and easy camaraderie. We quickly learn that these two young women plan to conquer the world together. These scenes and later flashbacks show Catra and Adora as deeply enmeshed in each others lives, to the point where neither of them (but especially Catra) have clear identities outside of one another. There is so much genuine love on both sides before Adora leaves, but also resentment, envy and fear, especially on Catra’s side, as well as a protectiveness on Adora’s side that deprives Catra of her autonomy. They are both being abused by Shadow Weaver - Catra physically and emotionally, Adora emotionally. It wouldn’t be too much to say that Shadow Weaver holds Catra hostage to control Adora (this is why critiques that Adora abandoned Catra to be abused are actually kind of messed up, since they accept Shadow Weaver’s premise that Adora is responsible for what Shadow Weaver does to Catra). In addition, Catra and Adora actually see the world incredibly differently. Adora already sees the world in terms of right, wrong and her destiny to right wrongs - this is why it’s important for her to accept the Horde’s obvious lies - she couldn’t keep living if she didn’t. Catra, on the other hand, sees the world solely in terms of survival and personal loyalty - everything for her is about preserving herself and the person she cares about - Adora.

Then, when Adora finds the sword, she leaves because it’s the right thing to do. Catra doesn’t even have a concept of ‘the right thing to do’ being something she should care about, or perhaps, something she can care about as an irredeemably evil, awful fuck-up. So at Thaymor neither one understands where the other is coming from, and Catra and Adora begin to part. This is the first turning point in their relationship. Adora chooses duty over what she desires, Catra chooses to protect herself (such as she sees it) and nurse her sense of betrayal and abandonment.

Their relationship until Promise is a kind of weird Frenemy thing that is fascinating to watch and sold me on the show. Neither one wants to fully admit to themselves that the other is now their enemy, neither one has given up on changing the other’s mind. Each is furious at the other, and desperate to see her again at the same time. There’s a lot of heartache and just as much sexual tension, especially at Princess Prom. Both of them come alive when they fight each other (more about that in a later post). But they’re already growing apart - Adora embracing her destiny as She-Ra, Catra rising in the ranks for the Horde. Adora now has the purpose she always wanted, plus other friends and a sense of being chosen to do something great, while Catra now has power - the means to protect herself from people like Shadow Weaver as well as the vindication she had always been denied, and even the opportunity to beat Shadow Weaver at her own game.

The next turning point is Promise. Holy fuck, this episode. It’s an episode that is even more heartbreaking after you’ve watched the show because you know just how much worse things are going to get, and yet, it’s a necessary part of both of their character arcs. Even through season 1 Catra and Adora had remained very much enmeshed in each others lives in an increasingly fucked up way as they grew apart but refused to turn away from each other. Even though they aren’t -exactly- a romantic couple (Adora doesn’t recognize and acknowledge her feelings until the last episode of Season 5), Season 1 of She-Ra is one of the worst breakups I have seen on TV. As I said in a couple of previous posts, this is the kind of shit that the Mountain Goats write songs about. Everything that was poisoning their love for each other even before episode 1 bubbles to the surface and combines with them fighting on opposite sides of the war to make a truly fucked up situation. In the end, it’s Catra that makes the choice to turn away from Adora. This isn’t a -good- decision. It’s spiteful, and destructive, and based on an outright deluded understanding of their relationship (inspired by Light Hope’s manipulations and her own issues), but it’s in some ways a necessary decision. Catra has been so wrapped up in Adora for so long that she isn’t going to be able to figure out who -she- is without cutting Adora out of her life. And the same is true of Adora.

But each of them do this in about the worst way possible. Catra embraces destruction, ambition, manipulation and outright cruelty, turning the tactics of her abusers against them and against everyone around her. She first triumphs over Shadow Weaver and manipulates Entrapta into trying to corrupt Etheria itself. Meanwhile Adora ‘lets go’ and commits herself to the self-denying mantle of She-Ra. Over the next several seasons, their respective paths will nearly lead both Catra and Adora to their deaths (in the Season 4 finale).

For the next season (counting season 2 and 3 as one) Catra and Adora are still closely linked, but as enemies. Still, there’s more than enough flirtation between them (that ‘Hey Catra’ in the first episode of Season 2 is something else), and especially on Adora’s side we see her hold back with Catra, and often take responsibility for the harm Catra inflicts, just like she had when they were kids. Yet they still drift apart - after facing off every other episode in Season 1, they spend less and less time on screen together through season 2 and 3. Catra continues her ascent to power and descent into villainy while Adora becomes more of a stressed out mess as she takes the fate of the world and the wellbeing of everyone she cares about on her admittedly broad shoulders. Catra’s one moment of vulnerability is rewarded by Shadow Weaver’s betrayal and her exile, then Catra triumphs in ruthless badass fashion through sheer desperation and aggression. In the Crimson Wastes, we see Catra at her most independent, and she almost seems happy. But once Adora shows up and Catra hears about Shadow Weaver, she’s sucked back into the worst of her resentments, and she makes very clear that being happy is less important to her than making sure Adora is miserable.

This changes everything. Catra completely breaks with reality and tries to kill Adora, herself and the world rather than lose to Adora and Shadow Weaver (I do think it’s important to remember that she does that after Shadow Weaver nearly kills her). Catra betrays everyone around her when she exiles Entrapta, threatens Scopria and lies to Hordak. Then she flips the switch. When Adora tries to fix things, Catra fights to her own death to make sure that the world disintegrates with her. For her part, Adora fights first to understand what is wrong with the world and then to fix it. Finally she tells Catra that destroying the world is her choice and she has to live with it, decks her, and then sees her off with a death glare once the portal is closed. With this, Adora writes Catra off even if, as she says later, she never never hated her. By doing that, Adora casts off the guilt that had dogged her and takes responsibility for her own life rather than someone else’s - this is actually a huge step for her, and one that will become more important in Season 4.

Season 4 is in many ways the nadir of their relationship. They only see each other once during the entire season, in Fluterrina, when Adora tries to blast Catra, much to the latter’s shock. There’s a sense in that scene that Catra is trying to have the same flirtatious enmity she used to have with Adora, and Adora is having none of it. Catra almost seems hurt by this, which is an early hint at how isolated Catra is beginning to feel. Catra spends the rest of the season at her highest and lowest. On the one hand she spends most of 12 episodes winning by every standard she has ever claimed to care about, besting Hordak himself in single combat and making herself co-ruler of the Horde and coming within a day’s march of ending the Rebellion. In many ways it is the ultimate empowerment fantasy - the abused young woman has defeated her abusers, showed up everyone who doubted her and forced everyone to respect her. But I think it’s striking that the show starts with her and Adora dreaming of conquering the world together and in Season 4 Catra nearly succeeds in conquering it alone, almost like she was trying to live out her old shared fantasy while proving she didn’t need her former best friend.

At the same time, Catra is clearly miserable. She’s always been unhappy, but in Season 4 we see her completely isolated and lying to herself and everyone who will listen in a desperate attempt to justify her actions. Turning the tactics of Hordak and Shadow Weaver against them to gain power and then against Scorpia and Entrapta to maintain it haven’t vindicated Catra, they’ve made her more and more alone as Entrapta is exiled and Scorpia drifts away. Meanwhile Catra reaches out to Double Trouble, and her interactions with them reek of a kind of desperate desire to have someone in her life (the feeling of their interaction is of an unhealthy casual relationship where one partner becomes emotionally invested and the other takes advantage of that while denying the other the closeness they desire). As people leave her, one after the other, it becomes clearer and clearer that Catra doesn’t want power at all - she wants connection, friendship, love, and power is a very poor replacement. As I said in my long Catra rant, Season 4 is both her ‘Walter White as a Catgirl’ season and the beginning of her redemption. Everything comes to head when Sparkles destroys everything Catra has tried to achieve, Double Trouble delivers those harsh truths and Horde Prime shows up and makes it all irrelevant, just highlighting how futile all her struggles and sacrifices and crimes have been.

Meanwhile Adora spends Season 4 becoming her own her and her own woman. After telling off Catra, she grows more and more disillusioned with Light Hope and critical of Glimmer (though the latter has more than a shade of her old habit of taking responsibility for others - Adora’s development is not linear). She’s gained the courage and confidence to strike out her own path, not just follow a destiny. At the season’s end she once again breaks with her best friend to do what is right, and discards the destiny that she was being prepared for. But in this case she isn’t chasing one packaged destiny for another, instead she’s making her own choice and literally shattering the thing that she thought gave her life purpose. It’s badass, and heartbreaking, and along with decking Catra and jumping after Catra into the abyss (see below) it’s the perfect Adora moment.

In many ways Season 5 starts with Catra and Adora farther apart than they have ever been. They aren’t even enemies anymore, they’re completely out of each other’s lives. And both Catra and Adora are lost at the beginning of Season 5 - Catra is useless and alone on Prime’s ship, completely defeated despite ostensibly being on the winning side, and she goes through the motions of her normal plotting without any particular conviction and none of her normal flair. Meanwhile Adora is even more miserable and self-destructive than usual, throwing herself at Horde Bots and working herself until she drops of exhaustion. In a very real way they both stay lost until they have a chance to help the other. Catra takes responsibility for what she’s done and what she can do, saves Glimmer (at least partly for Adora’s sake), apologizes to Adora, and sacrifices herself. Adora only seems to come alive when she decides to turn around, face Prime, and save the cat. And when she does, Catra and Adora’s arcs, which had separated so completely in season 4, come crashing back together to end the series.

Adora during Save the Cat is such a contrast with the uncertain, hesitant and self-destructive wreck we’ve seen so far in Season 5. This is possibly her craziest plan in 3 years of mostly cazy plans, but she never wavers or questions herself. Even when Chipped Catra appears and we see Adora’s heart break while we watch, Adora doesn’t back down or relent. She keeps at it even as the tears stream down her face. She fights better trying to save Catra without She-Ra’s powers than she fought at the Battle of Bright Moon with them. Catra’s just about as desperate - we see her cry and plead, and now is probably as good a time to any to point out how amazing a job both VAs did throughout the show, but especially in this episode, and how good a job the board artists did.

Seeing each other for the first time in a year, and only the second time since Catra blew everything up, Catra and Adora are probably the rawest and least restrained we’ve ever seen them. There’s barely any banter, no bravado, and no pretense that they are anything other than two women who desperately need each other (Prime doesn’t help with ‘You broke my heart’.) Then Catra is flung to her death, Adora jumps after her, breaks both her legs in the fall (we see her crawl to Catra, as though she couldn’t walk) and becomes the real She-Ra. It’s such a triumphant and deeply queer moment seeing a woman transformed into a warrior goddess to protect the woman she loves, and it’s the reason that, as dark as it is, Save the Cat is my Comfort Food episode.

Let’s not sleep on Taking Control, though. This episode is like a microcosm of what this show does best, especially the A plot with Catra and Adora. Catra’s reversion to lashing out at everyone and her refusal to be open to Adora shows just how much of a struggle this whole ‘being good and trying to connect to people’ thing is. Catra’s outburst gives Adora a chance to stand up for herself and refuse to be Catra’s punching bag, while also not trying to control her. Adora’s ultimatum gives Catra a chance to reach out to Adora (quite literally), and allow herself to be vulnerable. In this episode, we see just how far Catra and Adora have come since the messed up stew of their relationship in Season 1. Adora lets Catra be responsible for her own actions; Catra lets herself be vulnerable to Adora and takes responsibility for her actions. They’re both better people and better friends and better partners than they were, and the show has shown this in a strikingly nuanced and realistic way.

The important thing to note in the next few episodes of Season 5 isn’t just how much closer Catra and Adora get to each other and how much they flirt (So much. So much, y’all) but just how -happy- they are. We see both of them transformed in the other’s presence. Basically, since they’ve parted, both Catra and Adora have been defined in no small part by how miserable they often are. They have both had their triumphs and their lighter moments, but there’s been a sense of melancholy dogging both Catra and Adora since episode 1. And now that they’re together again, that lifts, somewhat. Catra’s verbal barbs have lost their venom, and she can openly show how much she cares for Adora and even Bow and Glimmer. She’s still herself - snarky, cynical, somewhat devious - but she’s not engaged in a self-destructive zero-sum struggle with everyone around her. Meanwhile Adora has spent 4 seasons being a neurotic and sometimes nearly joyless mess who takes responsibility for everything and often doesn’t let herself enjoy anything other than the odd BFS group hug (exceptions include trying to uh...impress Huntara and reveling with the butterfly ladies of Elberron in Flutterina). Around Catra, though, she’s a cocky, swaggering jock who gives as good as she gets. It’s a side of Adora we’ve only seen hints of before, and one that’s so much more confident and joyful even as the world is ending around her. Apart, Catra had tried to protect and vindicate herself with power and conquest, while Adora had tried to forget herself in duty and sacrifice. Together, they can be themselves again. This dynamic is crucial to the show’s portrayal of Catra and Adora’s romance because it doesn’t just show how much they love each other, but how they’re -good- for each other now that they’ve grown as people, and that they are so much better than they were when they were apart.

Until Shadow Weaver shows up. Their old abuser reintroduces tensions but even then things are different than they were. Now Catra isn’t just resentful of how Shadow Weaver prefers Adora - she’s protective of Adora, which is clearest in Failsafe when she calls Shadow Weaver out for being willing to sacrifice Adora. And while Adora takes the Failsafe, it isn’t to follow her destiny or because she has a death wish - it’s because she loves her friends, and she is the only one who has any hope of doing this and living (though Catra’s suggestion that Shadow Weaver take it is a good one). And finally, when Catra leaves Adora, it isn’t because she hates Adora, nor, despite what she says, is it because she really thinks that Adora chose Shadow Weaver. At least, not exactly. It’s because Catra loves Adora, and can admit that to herself, and can’t stay around and watch the woman she loves sacrifice herself rather than choosing Catra. Before Catra leaves, she asks Adora ‘What do you want?” It’s a question that echoes Shadow Weaver’s speech in Episode 1: ‘isn’t this what you always wanted since you could want anything?’ As much as Adora has grown as a person, and defined herself and stood up for what she thinks is right, she still has never answered that question - it’s never been ‘what do I want’ but ‘what do I have to do?’ and that’s how Adora answers Catra’s question. This is Adora’s last gasp as a self-transcending hero, letting go of what she wants (not that she ever dared articulate what that was) in order to do what must be done. And it nearly kills her and dooms the universe, because Adora can’t be the hero that she needs to be by being anyone less than herself.

But it’s losing Catra that inspires Adora to tell off Shadow Weaver for good (not that she’d ever really warmed to her after season 1). And it’s love for Adora that inspires Catra to stand up to Shadow Weaver and demand that she do the right thing. In both cases, Catra and Adora aren’t just standing up to their abuser, but holding her to account for the harm she’s caused, and it’s the love that they have for each other that inspires them to do this. In Catra’s case in particular her refusal to let Shadow Weaver weasel out of finding Adora is a much greater triumph over Shadow Weaver than beating her up and breaking her mask in Season 1 - it’s proof not so much to Shadow Weaver but to Catra herself that Catra really is better than this and that she deserves better than this. It’s not turning her abuser’s tactics against her, but truly holding her to a moral standard and demanding that she do the right thing.

And then there’s Catra and Adora together at the heart. Catra has already come back for Adora and stayed to the end, choosing to die with her even if she can’t share a life together (not out of some death wish, but because Adora needs her). And Adora, who’s been avoiding answering the question for three fucking years, finally let’s herself want Catra when Catra finally confesses her love (breaking the last of her self-protective shields) and asks Adora to stay -for her-. And by admitting what she wants, Adora can truly be at peace with herself and be the hero she needs to be, lesbianism saves the universe, The End.

So anyway, that’s how Catra and Adora’s stories are woven together and how they compliment and comment on each other. Narrativiely, Adora and Catra start together, come apart, find something of themselves, and truly find themselves and each other when they are reunited. Thematically, they are critiquing seemingly opposing narrative tropes - empowerment narratives and narratives of self sacrifice. But by showing the flaws in both types of story and showing how neither self-seeking empowerment nor self-negating self sacrifice can actually make us happy, She-Ra asks and answers more profound questions than most prestige dramas for adults do. I’ll get into how the show sells the idea that the power of love can bring us happiness (and save the world) in a future post. But next up, I’m going to celebrate just how much Catra and Adora’s relationship revels in ambiguity, complexity and contradiction and so tells a grown up love story in a kid’s show.

#she ra #she ra spoilers #she ra adora #spop #catradora #she ra netflix #she ra and the princesses of power #goat ship #long #meta

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bluerosesburnblue · 3 years

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I don't suppose you could explain the ending for khux for me?? i've watched it and i've been following the translated storyline for it and this ending just. does not make a ton of sense to me. i can usually figure out kh endings no problem but this time i'm just lost.

Isn't that just the state of the writing for it, where even people familiar with the series are having trouble understanding it. And, of course, the game dies as it lived: screwing over Global so we can't even compare/contrast with an official English version yet to see if it's more clear

Anyway, sure, I'll try to break it down scene by scene (Note: these aren't the actual scene titles, I just needed a way to delineate them so I made titles up)

Scene 1: The Master and Luxu

The update begins with a continuation of the past flashbacks expanding on the Case of Luxu and the Master of Masters' instructions to him. He explains that he knew that Darkness could only truly be defeated in the future, and so he made sure that Keyblade wielders would exist to fight it by recruiting many Keyblade wielders in Daybreak Town (as per the start of KHx) and then using the Dandelions to stall Darkness's takeover and give them time to make sure that the Keyblade legacy would live on. As Luxu turns to leave, though, the Master stops him with one more bit of information that he feels Luxu needs to know

He explains that back when he was younger, the being known as Darkness tried to gain the advantage in their battle by becoming incorporeal and attacking people's hearts instead of their bodies. There were 13 of these original Darkness beings, and because they lack bodies they aim to win by quantity and so created the Heartless as lesser, but more physical versions of themselves. The original 13 still haven't given up their desire to regain a physical form, however, and so they target those with strong hearts to take their bodies for themselves

The Master of Masters, knowing this and knowing that something without a physical body can't be destroyed, came up with a plan. He took in six children, his apprentices, and raised them to be a prison for Darkness. To foster light so strongly within them that Darkness couldn't possibly taint it, and then seal the strongest 7 of the 13 Darknesses within himself and his students, trapping the Darknesses inside their impenetrable hearts of light. Then, he instigated the Keyblade War. This is only my interpretation of the line, but it sounds to me like the purpose was to get the Foretellers killed in the War and the Darkness sealed inside of them along with them. How this relates to them coming back in KH3 is unclear

When Luxu asks if the War and the idea of a traitor were necessary, the Master goes on to say that the purpose of making the Foretellers believe there was a traitor was to instill negative emotions like fear and doubt in them. Darkness feeds on those emotions, and so by making sure that his students would produce them and yet not have their light tainted, he would attract Darkness into their hearts by giving it something to eat, only for it to realize that it was trapped in light that couldn't be consumed. The infighting amongst the Foretellers was bait to lock Darkness in their hearts the entire time

After that, there's only six left and so the Master chose five individuals, the Union Leaders, to be the uncorruptable lights that would house the weaker Darknesses. The final one, he would simply trap in the Data Daybreak Town

At this, Luxu flies into a rage at his master, angrily shouting that he can't possibly accept a plan that sacrifices so many people, but the Master stands up and starts talking over him. He's made it clear that he doesn't see Darkness as human, and he's seen this inhuman thing take countless lives, including people he's cared about. He doesn't believe them to be heroes, and he doesn't care. The entire purpose is just to ensure that in the end, humanity is what survives the war. He knows it's a tragedy, but for one who believes that tragedy can't be fully avoided, this is a solution that will at least save some

Luxu accepts this answer and leaves, but behind his back the Master muses on what Luxu, the traitor, needs to do. Luxu was the traitor from the lost page the entire time, given a role to take him out of the infighting so that his identity as the traitor wouldn't be discovered (or at least, that's how it seems to me considering that he needed the Foretellers to fear and doubt to attract Darkness to them)

Scene 2: Fleeing Daybreak Town

We now cut to the real Daybreak Town in the present, where Lauriam, Elrena, Ventus, and Brain have just emerged from the Data Daybreak Town into the real-world version of the lifeboat room. Daybreak Town is breaking down around them, about to be fully consumed by the aftermath of the Keyblade War which had been temporarily staved off while the Data simulation was running

Brain is attempting to enact his plan to extract all of the Dandelions from Data Daybreak Town and bring them into the real world, but he's worried that there won't be enough time to actually do it before the simulation shuts down and the real Daybreak Town is destroyed. The only thing he has time to do is get their three remaining friends (Ephemer, Skuld, and Player) out to the real world, and the only way that he can think to do this is to send Lauriam, Elrena, and Ven away to the future and to safety and then send the remaining lifeboats back into the datascape so that there's enough for the three trapped in there to use

Brain is willing to stay behind to man this operation, but he wants to ensure that at least one of the true Union Leaders (Lauriam) manages to live on in case things go wrong and save as many of them as he can, so those going to the future must be sent first. Lauriam, etching his mission to finally find Strelitzia (or even just her data) into his heart, departs with Elrena and Ven. Once they're gone, however, Brain notices someone enter the room and turns to find Luxu approaching him

Scene 3: Those Trapped in Data

We now cut to Player, Ephemer, and Skuld in the data version of the lifeboat room, contemplating how the others are doing. Just as they muse about how quiet the end of this world feels, Player turns to find that four of the remaining six Darknesses have entered the room (presumably the other two are the one sealed in Ven and the one that Luxu was fighting in the real world and who helped Maleficent, who seems to be gone by the time Brain and the others end up back in the real world)

The Darknesses, it seems, have come to politely ask the gang to open up a way out of the Data Daybreak Town for them, so that they can spread to other worlds. They don't want to fight, and obviously even if they did they'd win, so just open a gate for them to escape with already. They could always just take over Ephemer's friends and force him to watch as they rip them away until he complies

Ephemer mocks this and moves in to attack, but before he fully commits he whispers his plan to Player: he and Skuld will hold them off to buy time for Player to get into the last pod and run. To his shock, however, Player begins mimicking Darkness's speaking patterns and then goes to attack their friends. It seems that Darkness has done to Player what they did to Ven, taking them over and forcing them to act out. Player is now their bargaining chip; they'll only give Player back if Ephemer opens the gate. And since Darkness can only be defeated if it has a body, their options are to give in or destroy the possessed Player

This initiates the final boss fight against Ephemer and Skuld, Player's dearest friends who have been with them since before the war

And the duo prove no match for the Darkness-possessed Player, who taunts them about not just leaving when they had the chance. Ephemer begs his friend to stop as Player goes in to finish off Skuld, and in his desperation to protect one friend, he opens up the portal to Game Central Station and forces his fallen friend though. As it closes, Ephemer breaks down in tears, muttering apologies to the friend that he was unable to save

Scene 4: Luxu and Brain

We cut back to where we left off in Scene 2, with Luxu confronting Brain in the real lifeboat room. He introduces himself, and Brain is taken aback that one of the missing masters has finally returned. Luxu asks Brain if he's a Union Leader, and when Brain confirms that he is, Luxu then gestures to the missing pods and asks where the others are. Brain tells him that one escaped, and the other two are still trapped in the data. Luxu's confused; there should be five Union Leaders, but Brain only listed four. He asks what happened to the fifth, and Brain confirms that they were struck down

Luxu assumes that Brain is going to make his escape, but Brain denies this. They have a friend who he calls a Dandelion (even though Player did not consider themself one) who is trapped alongside the other two Union Leaders, and he intends to get all three out no matter what. Furthermore, Brain has no intention of using one of the real lifeboats. Rather, he has resigned himself to staying behind in the past and finding some way to survive the end of the world to eventually extract the rest of the Dandelions from the data as well, and wake them from their data sleep

Luxu, however, has some bad news. While normally that would be true, the Data Daybreak Town was designed to lock Darkness away. Once it's locked up, nothing will ever be able to get out of it again. If anything could get out, then Darkness would as well. It was meant to be a grave for an intangible being

Not only that, but Luxu expresses doubt that Brain has properly prepared for his friends who use the lifeboats to awaken in the future. What does Brain plan to use for mediums? Who are the memories going to come from? Brain doesn't have an answer, but he has to do this and he's willing to put his life on the line for it

This seems to earn Luxu's respect

Scene 5: The Two Who Remain

We now resume with Ephemer and Skuld in the data lifeboat room, having just sealed Player away. The two real pods that weren't used yet are digitized and sent to Ephemer and Skuld to use for their escape. Ephemer picks up the weakened Skuld and places her in a lifeboat, then looks forlornly over to the one on the other side of the room. The one meant for Player. Then he reclines back into his own pod and the two leave the Data Daybreak Town

Scene 6: "You're So Gullible"

We now join Player inside of the familiar tunnel that joined the Data Daybreak Town to Game Central Station

The four Darknesses swarm around Player, commending them for goading Ephemer into being desperate enough to open up a gateway for them, implying that Player was at least partially in control by the end of the fight. In a bizarre way, they seem to be trying to help Player as they warn them they must cast off their body if they don't want to be destroyed by the simulation shutting down

Player laughs

They ask if Darkness is always this easy to trick. After all, it can't go anywhere without a Keyblade and without a body it can't use one, either, which is why it needed one of them to open a path for it. Player turns, and locks the end of the pathway that leads to Game Central Station. And since Ephemer sealed the Data Daybreak Town end when he cast Player and the Darknesses through the portal, all five of them are now trapped in this space between worlds on the cusp of shutting down along with Data Daybreak Town. This was Player's plan all along, opening their heart up just enough for the four Darknesses to try and use them as a host and then provoking their friends into sealing them away and taking Darkness with them

Darkness flies into an anger-fueled frenzy but is unable to do anything to escape. Player collapses, and Chirithy appears. Petting them much like they did during the Keyblade War, Player apologizes for forcing Chirithy to be sealed away with them since their hearts are bound. Chirithy shakes their head, signaling that they don't hold it against Player, and the two go in for a final hug and are bathed in light

Scene 7: The Destruction of Daybreak Town

Back in the real lifeboat room again, Ephemer and Skuld emerge and are met with blaring sirens signaling that the world is at its end. The other are gone, including Brain and Luxu, and the two have no idea what happened to them (or that Luxu was involved). They simply hope that they made it out safely, and decide to check outside just to see what's going on

They're met with the destruction of Daybreak Town. Smoke is everywhere, the sky is red, and pieces of debris are being drawn into a swirling dark orb in the sky not unlike the destruction of Destiny Islands from KH1. Ephemer decides that they need to leave, now, and Skuld muses about how it takes a lot of time and effort to build something, but none at all to destroy. The two retreat back into the lifeboat room to make their exit

Scene 8: The Master's Plans

We now cut to our final continuation of the flashback of Master of Masters' talk with Darkness from before he disappeared

Darkness muses that it truly does not understand the Master of Masters at all. The Master asks if it wants to, and Darkness replies with a very clinical, "Yes, understanding your enemy is important." The Master muses if it means all of the Darknesses or just the one who is speaking, and Darkness states that it's speaking for all of them

The Master muses for a bit about how small worlds are easy to control. If this small world simply expands gradually over time, then eventually there will become parts of it that the light can't reach, but Darkness will have free reign over anywhere it pleases (much like real light can only shine so far, and anywhere it doesn't reach is filled with shadow). This skews everything in Darkness's favor when vying for control and is precisely what would happen if the world of the Age of Fairtytales continued to expand

Darkness simply notes that of course it will always be around, that's what "friends" do, but the Master says that sometimes he'd like to be left alone. And so, to get away from Darkness, he plans to flee to a world that Darkness does not know about. One where neither Darkness nor Light can be controlled. Darkness asks what this world is, and the Master says that humanity, even if their lives end, want to believe in a world that exists for them in the future. For him, this is a world of fiction and imagination. This implies that he plans to flee into the world of Quadratum, the fictional world that we learned about in Melody of Memory that exists on the other side of the "real world"

Darkness is clearly lost as it asks if he's talking about the Data World. The Master simply says that even if it started out as fiction, you can make it real. But he won't explain any more. After all, the point is that this is a world that Darkness doesn't know about. It cannot reach it, even if it tried

Of note is that he mimics what the illusory Xehanort remarks about Sora in Melody of Memory by calling this a place where neither your "eyes nor voice" can reach, much like Sora's voice could not reach Kairi in The Final World from Quadratum. His final description of it is as "a world of [symbol]." It's unclear if this is an actual term that is unpronounceable and unspeakable in-universe, or if this is simply done to censor the word for the players

Scene 9: Goodbye

We once again return to the real lifeboat room amidst the destruction of Daybreak Town. As she gets into her pod, Skuld starts sobbing and thanks Ephemer through her tears for staying with her until the end. Ephemer tells her that she can't give up until it's all over. As he goes into his pod, he flashes back to all of the time that he spent with Player, and mutters their name through his tears as their pods close and the room caves in around them

(AND THIS IS WHERE IT SHOULD'VE ENDED BECAUSE IT WAS ACTUALLY PRETTY GOOD UP TO THIS POINT BUT HERE WE GO)

Scene 10: Where Do Dream Eaters Come From?

Player and Chirithy are floating in a white void alongside all of the other Dandelions that were trapped in the Data Daybreak Town and their Chirithies. Some of them are familiar faces, like the "My friends aren't my power" kid and the squad of four kids that Player had befriended and their ex-teammate. As Player awakens, they watch these sleeping Dandelions revert to the forms of hearts that are then eaten by those Chirithies, transforming them into the Spirits seen in Dream Drop Distance

Player's Chirithy explains that because Chirithies are bonded to their Keyblade wielder's heart, they take on a state to match their wielder. If the wielder dies, so do they. And if the wielder falls into a deep sleep, they take on a stronger form to protect it

Contrary to what the fandom is saying, NO, Spirits aren't dead Keykids. Rather, the Chirithies are simply taking their sleeping hearts into their bodies and transforming into a stronger form to keep them safe. This is only my assumption, but I would assume that this is possible since they don't technically have bodies anyway, having been digitized. Therefore, their body-less hearts would otherwise have been sent directly to sleep with no protection, hence the Chirithies moving in

Now, this still doesn't make sense regarding Dream Drop Distance by overriding the lore that all Dream Eaters are simply the form that Darkness takes in Sleeping Worlds, which made sense from a metaphorical perspective of "you sleep at night which is dark, so dreams are darkness and both good and bad dreams are made of the same stuff." And also you can totally craft Spirits and have them explode if they take too much damage, all with zero indication that a keykid heart was involved in the creation process or released on destruction, but whatever, let's just move on

Player asks if this is what will happen to them and their Chirithy, and Chirithy responds that they have a choice. If Player doesn't want to go to sleep, then their heart will be broken down and reconstructed as an entirely new heart to live a new life

Smash cut to an unfamiliar town where a woman in purple with black hair and silver eyes hand over what is obviously a baby Xehanort to a hunched figure in a blue cloak, holding a cane. She sobs. Cut again to the figure in blue holding baby Xehanort standing on Destiny Islands' play island. Cut once more and Xehanort is now his teenage self from Dark Road on the beach of the play island. The figure in blue is standing on the ledge behind him, and as Xehanort stands up to walk to the shoreline, the figure collapses onto the ground. Xehanort does not notice this. Two more cuts, this time to the day that Xehanort found himself in Scala ad Caelum and a chess match with Eraqus

We return to Player, who closes their eyes peacefully and decided to move on to another life. Chirithy is confused, but goes in for a final hug as both of them dissolve into light, Player's heart flying off into the white void

The implication of all of this being that not only did Player reincarnate as Xehanort, introducing reincarnation into a series that it has never been a part of and overcomplicating the lore even worse, but that Xehanort isn't even from Destiny Islands in the first place, invalidating nearly all of his character motivation from the series

This is so bad that it deserves its own post though, so we're moving on

Credits Roll: Scenes From the Game Play Over It

Post Credits: Aftermath

We find our scene in a vast expanse of water, littered with debris. A lone lifeboat floats amongst the rubble. Some houses from Daybreak Town can be seen partially submerged, setting this after its destruction. The lifeboat comes to a stop and opens up, revealing Ephemer's silhouette. He looks around

It's unclear why Ephemer seems to have landed so far back in the past compared to the others, though some people have noted that he also doesn't appear to have lost his body, so it could be that his pod simply didn't activate (note how we only saw it close, not disappear into light like Lauriam and crew's) and that Ephemer didn't time travel at all but simply rode out the destruction of Daybreak Town inside the lifeboat

We see a rendition of the scene from KH2 where Diablo the raven brings Maleficent's cloak to the three fairies and she revives, showing that this scene was, indeed, her coming back from her time travel adventure

Lauriam wakes up in the field of flowers from Dwarf Woodlands, and looks confused and startled as a white butterfly flits about him. The flowers clearly a nod to his element among the Organization

Elrena is shown still unconscious along the cliffs that lead to Maleficent's castle in Enchanted Dominion. Much like Lauriam, her element is represented in the thunderstorm that rages around her

Ventus is shown unconscious in the Keyblade Graveyard, and a silhouette approaches him. Many believe this to be Xehanort finding him, though as of now the figure's identity is unconfirmed

We cut to a scene of Luxu dragging the black box behind him in the Keyblade Graveyard, much like a certain scene from the end of Back Cover. However, this time the scene continues and he removes his hood to reveal Brain's face. The implication here is that after Scene 4 above, Luxu took Brain's body as the first of many that he would steal to prolong his own life. This is why neither of them are seen when Ephemer and Skuld emerge from the datascape; Luxu has already taken Brain's body for his own and made his escape to survive the destruction of the world with the black box

We get a title card, but are treated to one final scene. Brain wakes up (sans hat) in the same town that we saw baby Xehanort being given away in. A hooded figure in strange garb arrives, holding Brain's hat, and asks if he is Brain. At Brain's confirmation, the figure returns the hat and introduces themself as Sigurd (a Norse mythology name much like the other Scala ad Caelum characters so far). They seem to have been waiting for Brain and report that they found him into an earpiece of sorts

Brain is understandably confused, and Sigurd explains that they know of the Brain who escaped Daybreak Town's destruction and that he would appear in this spot on this day. Brain panics, realizing that he doesn't know where any of his seven other friends are and if they made it to safety. Sigurd tells Brain that he's the only one who made it to this spot. Brain, utterly crushed that all of his friends have seemingly perished, listlessly follows Sigurd as Sigurd leads him to their headquarters

On the way there, however, something catches Brain's eye. He sprints to the fountain and looks up at something that's not in the frame in shock. Sigurd explains that this is a statue of this town, Scala ad Caelum’s founder (so Xehanort's actually from Scala...) and the first ever Keyblade Master, Master Ephemer. The camera pans up to show the statue of Ephemer as we know him holding the Master Keeper Keyblade that he got from Brain

Brain is overcome with emotions, and through his tears states that he knows exactly who that is. That's his best friend, and he's so proud of him for rebuilding

This is just my speculation, but what I believe is going on in the final scene with Brain is that when Luxu took his body, he ejected Brain's heart from it. A lifeboat wasn't used up, so Luxu must have either used time travel on his own to send Brain's heart to the future or simply left Brain's heart stranded and waiting in the ruins of Daybreak Town. This would let Luxu have his body, but Brain's stranded heart could make a new one with the proper resources in the future like the other hearts sent via the pods. That's what I think the focus on the hat is about. Luxu is shown without it after he takes Brain's body, and Sigurd has it. So my assumption would be that the hat was the medium used to bring Brain's body back like Maleficent's cloak was for her. It’s possible that Luxu set this up, but I can’t confirm. As for the memories, I couldn't say

I would also speculate that this scene takes place a decent amount of time before Dark Road, since Eraqus has been implied to be a descendant of Brain due to their similar looks. If Brain is in Scala ad Caelum in the past, then he could easily be the grandfather that Eraqus mentioned

My final bit of speculation is that the reason Sigurd and crew know who Brain is is because Ephemer, the founder of Scala ad Caelum and the inheritor of the Book of Prophecies, likely saw when Brain would emerge and set up a system to take care of him, knowing that he wouldn't survive to see him again

Apologies for the length, the ending was 40 minutes long. But, hopefully, I've made it clear which scenes are connected to which and what is actually happening. If it wasn't actually clear, there's two flashback sequences involving the Master of Masters that take place before KHx, the scenes in the data and real lifeboat rooms are running concurrently with each other (Brain and Luxu are having their conversation at the same time as Player is being possessed by the Darknesses, etc.) and everything else is roughly chronological with the exception of the scenes where Maleficent, Lauriam, Elrena, and Ven are revived after time traveling. Lauriam, Elrena, and Ven's scenes all must take place sometime before or around BBS (Lauriam and Elrena for their ages to match up, Ven because he's in BBS). Maleficent's is at the beginning of KH2

#kingdom hearts #khux #khux spoilers #anon asks #liz answers #between the amount it cuts around and the entirety of scene 10 which is really my only problem area i can see why you'd be confused #i think this would actually be a decent ending without scene 10 but scene 10 is SO BAD #it leaves such a bad taste in your mouth for the ENTIRE FRANCHISE that it ends up bringing literally everything else down with it

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nevertheless-moving · 3 years

Text

Suicidal Misunderstanding XVI

Part I - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Part XIII - - - - Part XIV - - - - Part XV

Star Wars Time Travel AU #27

Masters Aerdo, Koon and Nu lurched forward in distress as Obi-Wan unceremoniously slammed his mental walls into place.

“I’m fine, I’m fine!” He reassured them, smiling weakly and rubbing his temples.

“Cutting yourself off so abruptly from the force after a meditation that deep is dangerous,” Master Aerdo said, alarmed. “Please endeavor to be more gentle with yourself, Master Kenobi.”

“Of course, I simply thought it would be be best to allow for some, ah, uncertainty with my retreat to counteract my... necessary indiscretion.”

“Uncertainty!” Plo scolded. “If I hadn’t been in same room as you I might have thought you were dead!”

“Well, yes, that’s rather-”

Vokara Che burst through the door, followed closely by Bant Eerin.

“PLO KOON! WHAT IN THE GALACTIC CORE HAVE YOU DONE TO MY PATIENT!”

Master Koon took a step back, “Vokara, please-”

“I’m perfectly alright, Master Che,” Obi-Wan interjected, “Master Koon has helped me beyond what I can ever repay. I- Oh dear. You all have.” Obi-Wan looked around, guilt creeping into his voice. “Oh. OH. I am so sorry for what I must have put you all through. I- I assure you, it wasn’t what it looked like. Thank you so much for all you’ve done to save me from...well, my own foolishness, I suppose. Oh that must have been- I deeply apologize for the inconvenience I’ve caused.”

Master Che took a deep breath. “Your good health is repayment enough for whatever debt you feel you might owe. May I take your recent...reaching out to mean that you have begun to regain your sense of where and when you are and no longer feel the need for more...drastic means of escape? Alarming raising of shields notwithstanding?”

Obi-Wan winced. “I am...still confused on a number of points, I admit. But I’ve cleared up most of my important doubts. Its... 7957 by the Centralized Republic Calendar. I’m in the temple Halls of Healing on Couracant. Everyone in this room is a fellow member of Jedi Order.” Obi-Wan hastily wiped away a few tears forming in the corners of his eyes.

He cleared his throat as the five onlookers watched with a mixture of sympathy and confusion. “It’s going to be difficult, but I owe you all an explanation. Actually I need to explain a few things quite urgently, but first-”

His train of thought was interrupted by the roiling force presence that proceeded Mace Windu’s entrance. Mace paused at the foot of the bed, eyeing Obi-Wan critically as everyone else shuffled slightly out of the way to the edges of the increasingly crowded room.

“Master Kenobi. You’re looking better.” He finally said.

“I’m feeling better. You really can’t imagine. I’m sure you have questions, but first I must insist- ow!” Obi-Wan jerked back, startled by the sudden rap of a gimer stick on the side of his head.

“Master Yoda!” Che and Aerdo scolded as the Grandmaster suddenly appeared on the nightstand to get a better look at his troublesome great-grand padawan.

Vokara actually grabbed the wizened elder with both hands, lifting him by the armpits and chastising him like a misbehaving youngling. “That is not an appropriate greeting for any of my patients. Shame on you.”

“Patients, hmm? Shame, shame indeed.” Yoda muttered, dangling in the air. “Gone, my patience is. For making us think he had joined the force too early, shame indeed on Obi-Wan.”

Obi-Wan bowed his head. “My apologies, grandmaster. I had strong reason to believe that I was trapped in a hallucination. I will explain everything but first we really need to comm-”

“Your suicide attempt, I was not referring to, no. Do such a thing in your right mind, I know you would never. Concerned, we were, of course. Halfway fake your own death, the first thing you did was, after all this! The reason I am hitting you, that is! Too old for this, I am!”

“I understand, and I had reason for retreating so suddenly. Which I will be happy to explain. But first we really need to do damage control and contact-”

- - - - -

“ANAKIN! Anakin, what’s wrong!” Padme shook her husband’s shoulders as he knelt, collapsed on the floor.

“It’s- Obi-Wan” he choked out. “He was here! He was awake and alive and then he just- stopped.”

“Oh force. You don’t mean he’s-”

“I don’t know. I can’t sense him. I don’t know.”

“Go. And when you find him, please comm me to let me know if-”

But Anakin was already gone.

- - - - -

"Oh...hm.” Master Tiin shuddered slightly.

“Sir? Is everything alright?” Captain Rex asked.

“Does this have something to do with General Kenobi’s illness?” Boil called out anxiously. A low murmur rippled through the mixed meeting of high-level strategic and logistical officers.

“His- force presence grew rather strong for a moment. I would have to contact the temple to-”

“He’s dead.”

“Master Krell!” Saesee Tiin chided as the room recoiled in horror. “We don’t know that.”

General Tiin addressed the anxious room, “His force presence did cut out abruptly, but there are a number of explanations for such a thing, and jumping to the worst case scenario prematurely does us no favors.”

“Perhaps we should pause the briefing while you contact the Temple, sir.” Commander Cody offered stiffly.

“Out of line, Clone.” General Krell said, sneering. “Regardless of the status of your former General, we depart at 22:00 hours this evening. This briefing will continue. Interrupt with such a meaningless and insubordinate suggestion again and I will have you put on review for decommissioning.”

“Yes, sir.” Cody replied.

“That’s enough, Master Krell. I realize tensions are running high but please control yourself.” Tiin sighed. “We do need to finish this planning session. I apologize for the disruption, everyone. Now if you will all turn your attention back to map 3a of the Ghost Nebula...”

Command training included modules on compartmentalizing unhelpful emotional responses in order to focus on tactical information, so that’s what Cody did.

- - - - -

“If you have some Sith-related intel to divulge, I think it might be more appropriate to contact the rest of the council first, Master Kenobi,” Mundi said, discarded fluid drip awkwardly jabbing him in the side .

“I agree, but trust me, first, someone really needs to tell Anakin I’m not dead. If you don’t want to do it, I will,” Obi-Wan announced, trying to get up.

“You’re not going anywhere,” Bant snapped, pushing him back into bed.

“I- Oh Bant, It’s- some things are fuzzy, but you were one of the medi staff who came to my quarters after I...”

Bant glared in answer.

“I am so sorry, again I-”

“Obi-Wan, try not to worry too much about apologies right now. The important thing is you have people who care about you and we are all pleased by your renewed vigor for life.” Healer Aerdo interrupted, maintaining a death grip on Yoda while Che fussed over Obi-Wan’s vital readings.

“I’ve commed Skywalker but if he’s acting as I suspect, he’s not checking messages” Master Windu said from his place in the corner.

- - - - -

A Chiss Padawan leaned over to whisper to her Master as the mental flow halted unceremoniously. “Master, you don’t think...”

“Is something wrong, young one?” Chancellor Palpatine called out, smiling warmly at the young apprentice and drawing all eyes in the sub-committee meeting to the cloaked pair standing watch at the door.

“Ah, no, Supreme Chancellor, thank you for your concern. We simply observed a minor disruption in the force,” Her Tholothian Master replied smoothly as the padawan attempted not to fidget. “I’m sure the Council will contact us if it’s anything worth reporting to the Senate.”

The meeting continued but more than a few senators spent the remainder of the session discretely swapping messages speculating on what could have ruffled the usually silent and stoic guardians.

- - - - -

Shouted curses and wailing speeder horns followed Anakin as he raced to the temple.

I swear to all the gods if he’s alive i’ll never kill anyone ever again I should have been there was no warning in the force please help me if he’s dead i’m going to kill everyone on this planet except Padme and then im going to kill Dooku and Grevious and then

- - - - -

“Master Fisto!” Ashoka said, turning anxiously to the Natuolan Master as Obi-Wan’s presence evaporated. “Do you think Master Kenobi is alright?”

“We’re quite a distance away,” Kit replied soothingly. “There’s a very good chance he simply had to withdraw because he was overreaching himself to say hello.”

Ashoka frowned. “Can we contact the temple to make sure? Please?”

“I’ll send a comm, but we might not get a reply right away. We’re only a few hours out from the planet, so you’ll be able to check in on him yourself soon, alright?”

“Yes, Master.”

- - - - -

“Ah...perhaps we should shift into another room? This one is a little small for the...full Jedi Council. And I wouldn’t mind the opportunity to change out of these patients robes and into something a little more appropriate”

“You’re not going anywhere or changing into anything until I clear you.” Che snapped, elbowing Koth out of the way to jab Obi-Wan with another device.

“If one of the high council is unable to leave this room, than the high council is more than willing to meet here.” Master Gallia said calmly from her perch at the foot of the bed.

“Well I’m not leaving.” Master Nu announced. “I still haven’t gotten the full explanation Plo promised.”

“As a healer-”

- - - - -

Klicks apart from one another, Sith Assassin Ventress and Knight Vos unknowingly shared identical frowns as Quinlan softly gave voice to what they were both thinking,

“What the fuck, Kenobi.”

- - - - -

“WATCH OUT!”

“Kriff!”

“...Was that Anakin Skywalker? Did The Hero With No Fear just cut us off?”

“Must be some serious business for him to be flying like that.”

- - - - -

Count Dooku redirected the Invisible Hand; his plans for Kiros would simply have to wait. Sidious might prefer the Umbaran seige to be a long, protracted affair rather than a decisive win one way or another, but if Tyrannus’s suspicions were correct, than the time for kowtowing to the Sith Master might be near its end. Sidious had long underestimated his Grandpadawan. He suspected that whatever play was going on was less the act of a new player and more the opening move of an experience one now shifting his attention to another arena.

The ‘attack’ was likely a deliberate ruse to allow Kenobi to slip into the shadows and finally begin addressing the hint he had provided on Genosis long ago. Now, more than ever, Dooku needed to manage Separatist affairs strategically. Kenobi’s search into the force and subsequent rapid withdraw was too deliberate to be anything but the first steps of a larger plot.

- - - - -

“Ah, Master Mundi?” A young apprentice healer asked the Cerean Master guarding the entranceway to the wing. “There’s a small crowd gathering outside. All very orderly, of course. But they want to know Master Kenobi’s Status. What should I tell them?”

Mundi Sighed. “If they ask, tell them Master Kenobi’s wellbeing is protected under healer client confidentiality and the highest security clearance.”

Ki-Adi paused. “If Anakin Skywalker, arrives, just- send him this way, as you would a Council Member, understood? Don’t try and stop him.” he added begrudgingly.

“I see.” the padawan replied with impressive professional calm, "Thank you, Master Mundi” She bowed and returned to the front.

- - - - -

Maul staggered out of his cave. Kenobi was taunting him now. Kenobi would pay. Kenobi would see. Kenobi couldn’t die before Maul killed him.

- - - - -

A gap opened in the somber crowd as Anakin sprinted through, heart in his throat.

He should have been here there was no warning he should have been there

“Skywalker!” Mundi barked. “Calm yourself!”

Anakin stared at him with wild eyes and the High Master faltered, frightened for a moment. Before Anakin could say or do anything to the council member, Master Windu appeared. “Over here.”

Anakin blurred past him, mind tormenting him with images of nooses and blood and broken bodies and incomplete-

“Hello there, Anakin.” Obi-Wan sat upright in bed, smiling at him and surrounded by far too many Master’s for anyone’s comfort. Least of all the Masters, now that Mundi and Windu were forcing their back in.

Anakin took in a strangled gasp, “Obi-Wan- you- i thought you were dead.”

Obi-Wan’s welcoming smile faltered. “Oh Anakin, I’ve really put you through a terrible ordeal the last few days, haven’t I? I am so, so sorry- I- I promise I didn’t intend to leave you like that. Come here, I’ll- its going to sound quite impossible but I can explain everything. There’s so much I have to tell everyone-”

Anakin threw himself forward, ignoring Jedi dignity and who he was knocking over.

He heard a tut of disapproval behind him as he embraced his Master.

“Oh be quiet” Master Koon chided someone. “Honestly, he’s padawan age, have some compassion.”

Anakin decided to ignore that in favor of crying over Obi-Wan for the fourth time in as many days, utterly exhausted.

Obi-Wan hesitated for a bare moment before wrapping his arms around his brother and friend for the first time in years (at least for the first time where he was aware that it was real and oh force he was really going to have to meditate to fully understand what he had said and done and what everyone had said in response).

“Perhaps we should give them a moment to collect themselves.” Master Aerdo offered diplomatically. Having largely reached their threshold for open displays of emotion, the Council non-verbally came to an agreement.

“You two have five minutes to pull yourselves together,” Master Windu said severely.

“Of course, Master Windu. Thank you.” Obi-Wan rasped.

The group shuffled out with remarkable good grace, considering the number of inhabitants in the room, or rather remarkable bad grace, considering they were all supposed to be Jedi Masters.

Plo Koon patted them both on the shoulders before filing out. Master Yoda leapt nimbly out of Bant’s arms to land on the nightstand. He rapped them each lightly on the head before darting out with a chuckle. The door clicked shut.

“Master- I- never do that again.”

“I’m sorry Anakin, I promise, I wasn’t trying to die, I have far, far too much to live for. I’m never going to leave you again, I don’t care what else happens but- I’m not going to abandon you ever again, do you understand. Even if I die, I’ll come back and haunt you for the rest of your life, you’ll barely notice the difference, I swear.”

“...Thank you, but please stop talking now”

“Right, of course. I’m sorry. I’m so, so-”

“I love you, Obi-Wan.”

“...I love you too, Anakin.”

Part XVII

#star wars #my au #suicidal misunderstanding au #star wars au no 27 #time travel fix it #star wars au #potentially triggering #suicide references #violent thoughts

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longitudinalwaveme · 3 years

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Worst Flash Storylines and Plot Ideas of All Time

As you’ve probably ascertained from the general contents of this blog, the Flash is my favorite comic book series. I love the characters and most of the stories. However, just like any series that’s been around for eighty years (counting the Jay Garrick stuff), the Flash does, unfortunately, have some truly terrible stories and plot ideas.

In terms of terrible plot ideas that didn’t completely ruin the surrounding stories:

1. Barry Allen uses the Mirror Master’s mirrors to manipulate Iris into agreeing to start dating him again (Flash #109). Creepy, Barry. Just creepy. The story is great Silver Age fun otherwise.

2. Iris West: meanest woman alive. Iris was, by and large, incredibly awful to Barry up until maybe about a year before their 1966 marriage. Almost every time she shows up in an early Silver Age issue, you will admire her daring and independence (this is good) and be bewildered as to why on Earth Barry would want to spend time with a woman who is constantly calling him slow, lazy, and ambition-less (this is not good). It doesn’t really affect any one issue too much, but when read in a conglomerate, she starts looking really awful. Although as bad as Early Silver Age Iris seems as a romantic interest, she’s got nothing on Silver Age Superman and Lois Lane, the most dysfunctional couple in the DCU.

3. Wally West’s zero-effort code name and costume (Flash #110). It really could not be more obvious how little effort the writers were putting into creating this character. The duplicate origin is also pretty cheesy, but there are enough differences from Barry’s origin for it not to frustrate me. But the name “Kid Flash” and the fact that his first costume was literally identical to Barry’s just feel incredibly lazy. Barry and Wally do have an adorable dynamic in the issue, though, so it’s by no means all bad.

4. Barry Allen waiting an entire year after his marriage to tell his wife that he’s really the Flash. Frustrating and unnecessary; especially since Joan Garrick had been in on her husband’s secret since the 1940s.

5. Iris Allen is FROM THE FUTURE. I both love and hate this idea. It’s so perfectly comic-booky, but at the same time, it opened the floodgates for the Allen family being a confusing, time-displaced mess.

6. The Trial of Barry Allen. This one’s weird. I like many of the individual issues in this arc, and I actually think the last two issues are really great as an ending for Barry Allen’s original run, but this storyline dragged on for waaaaaay too long. There’s a reason I call it the Arc that Never Ends. Also, the titular trial is actually the least interesting part of the entire storyline. His battles with the Rogues and Kadabra are far more interesting.

7. Wally West’s borderline creepy, chauvinistic attitude towards women under Mike Baron (and, to a much lesser extent, William Messner-Loebs). There’s being a hormonal twenty-something, and then there’s going through girlfriends at the rate other people change their socks. Messner-Loebs mostly avoided this issue by making it clear that Wally was under intense psychological stress that was negatively impacting his behavior, but under Baron and in some of his JLE appearances, he comes across as a real creep around women.

8. Kadabra overkill under Mark Waid: I like Kadabra, but when he’s the main villain in like four distinct arcs, it gets to be a bit much. It’s like modern Eobard. He is legitimately written well, though, so he doesn’t drag down any of the stories too much.

9. Pointlessly Dead Rogues: Killing off the Rogues in Underworld Unleashed for no good reason (the rest of the story is great, especially the Trickster).

10. Pointlessly Dead Rogues 2: Electric Boogaloo: The Golden Glider’s pointless death to build up a character who was himself killed two issues later. (The rest of the story is decent.) Also, the treatment of Lisa in general post-Crisis is frustrating, since she becomes considerably more unhinged than she was before.

11. Any time Waid tried to write McCulloch, with the exception of Flash vol. 2 #105 (and even there, he seemed off). It’s like he forgot Evan wasn’t Sam.

12. Apparently, the Top trying to blow up both Central City and half the world makes him a loser? Also, he suddenly hates Piper for no readily apparent reason. (At least the story had some good Piper and Wally bits.)

13. BARRY ALLEN HAS A SECRET EVIL TWIN! DUN DUN DUN! (The rest of the story, where we get to meet a whole whack of interesting future Flashes, is actually pretty good, but whoo boy, the Malcolm reveal feels like it came straight out of a soap opera.)

14. In order for Captain Cold to ANGST, the Golden Glider’s pointless death remained in place for over ten years. It did give us a really, really good Capt. Cold story, at least...but it’s still fridging.

15. Rainbow Raider’s mean-spirited murder by Blacksmith. Poor Roy.

16. Albert Desmond becomes Hannibal Lecter, only twenty times as rude, for a Gotham Central arc that would’ve been terrific without him as the main villain.

17. Owen Mercer is an idiotic child murderer and gets killed by the Rogues. Why was this necessary? (The rest of Blackest Night: The Flash is pretty good.)

18. Josh Jackam-Mardon’s murder. The murder of small children for shock value is pretty gross. Especially since nothing was ever really done with it.

19. Barry’s PARENTS ARE DEEEEAAAAD! (Okay, it’s really just his mom, but still. This is a very frustrating retcon, since originally his parents were alive and well until after his own death.)

20. Albert Desmond was Barry’s jerk coworker; which never impacted the plot or led to anything. As a result, it’s just another frustrating retcon.

21. Sam Scudder murdered someone before becoming the Mirror Master. Yet another Johns retcon that never went anywhere and only serves to darken the Silver and Bronze Age stories after the fact.

22. Flashpoint (a decent story) wiped out a whole bunch of characters I really liked from existence for several years. Evan McCulloch’s still not back.

23. Giving the Rogues metahuman powers doesn’t suit them, on the whole. They work better without them.

24. Roy’s second pointless, brutal death in (I think) Forever Evil.

25. IT WAS MEEEEE, BARRY! After serving as the main villain for like six arcs in eight years, I’m glad that Eobard finally seems to be getting a rest. The level of bad things he was responsible for was getting ridiculous.

26. Sam/Lisa. WHY? (The only time it even kind of worked was in Forever Evil.)

In terms of entire storylines I didn’t like:

1. The Flash: The Most Terribly Written Man Alive. Poor Bart is aged up with no adequate explanation, loses all the traits that made him a likeable character, fights some awful villains, and then is murdered by the badly OOC Rogues. Meanwhile, Inertia goes from an at least somewhat sympathetic villain to a complete psychopath with little explanation, a murder is retconned into one of Captain Cold’s reformed periods, the Pied Piper and the Trickster completely forget that they’re supposed to be reformed, Abra Kadabra inexplicably teams up with the Rogues despite generally being a solo operative, and all of the Rogues act like total morons, willingly following a teenage speedster for no adequately explained reason. UGH.

2. Countdown to Infinite Crisis: Even though Piper and Trickster were probably the best part of Countdown, that isn’t saying much. Both of them are uncharacteristically stupid (especially James), and James is a grade-A jerk to Piper for no reason. Also, both of them continue to forget that they reformed, and then James gets brutally murdered and Piper almost loses his mind. Also, the other Rogues cameo, and continue to act like idiots. Countdown: it really does ruin everything it touches.

Superboy Prime will kill you! He’ll kill you to DEATH! And after you read Countdown, you’ll wish he had killed you to death.

3. The Identity Crisis Tie-In Retcon: So, you know all that awesome character development the Rogues have had over the years? Well, forget all that, because it was all just Roscoe brainwashing them! Which was something he could definitely do before this story! And why did he do this? Why, because Barry Allen, one of the most upstanding men in the DCU, brainwashed him! Also, apparently, the Top had a huge bodycount that we never heard about back in the Bronze Age, because we need even MORE grimdark retcons for our cheerful Silver/Bronze Age history! I like Geoff Johns’ work, I really do....but BOY HOWDY does he need to lay off on the retcons sometimes.

4. Identity Crisis: With the exception of Owen’s introduction and the establishment of the relationship between him and Digger, this story was pretty awful all around. More specifically, as far as the Flash was concerned, it was responsible for Digger’s second pointless death. It also killed off poor Jack Drake and poor, mistreated Sue Dibney, who deserved MUCH better. And the Justice League, including Barry, are A-OK with brainwashing, apparently. Comics are fun!

These last two stories are pretty recent, and they did have some parts I liked, but on the whole I felt they also belonged on the list.

5. The Trickster finally returns! Hurrah! Except it turns out that he’s way more like the Joker now than he ever was before, and he mind-controls the city in a super-creepy way. A very disappointing return for the character, especially since it was set up really well.

6. Forever Evil: Captain Cold becomes a murderous dictator with a stupid Santa Beard, all of the Rogues get horrible costumes, and Sam completes his mutation into Evan-in-all-but-name. There are some good characters bits in the story (even for Cold), but on the whole, I found the story to just be unlikeable and depressing and thought Cold was pretty out-of-character. Poor Commander Cold....

So, what are your least favorite Flash storylines and plot ideas?

#flash comics #flash rogues #dc comics

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mr-nauseam · 3 years

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EngPort Headcanon 4

England and Portugal are par excellence the dynamic "friends who become lovers" but it is necessary to understand how that friendship is formed, as it will be the basis for developing romantic feelings between them in the future.

That is the central theme of this post: The sweet childhood.

Today there is no song as the central theme but my engport playlist is very long (I have approximately 80 songs in it) so I will only mention a fragment of these. Let's get started.

Childhood as nations: an impossible reality.

For certain things shown in the anime and manga I feel that it is important to remember that the characters are not human ... in a biological way. We must give importance to this fact because it lets us know that they experience life in a very different way than human beings.

Above all, a point in their lives that is remarkably different because they are nations is their childhood and a character who portrays this conflict well is USA, when we see him being the thirteen colonies he looks like a small child and usually acts like one, but as time passes and tensions grow in his territory, he undergoes a most abrupt transformation, although the series makes us believe that he really spent a considerable time, it was not like that and in a very short time USA lost his childish body and his own innocent mentality to obtain in exchange, the body of a young adult and a much clearer vision of the world and what was happening in it - and consequently a much more cruel and pessimistic vision of life.

What gives rise to a strange and disturbing scene but that makes a lot of sense if we consider that they are not human, the scene I am talking about is that moment in which USA is a full-fledged adult in physical and mentality while Canada looks like a child and acts accordingly like one.

These abrupt changes that nations are facing is a cruel reality from which they cannot escape and over which they have no control, their entire image and essence will depend on the decisions of their people.

With this in mind, let's continue: a well-known fact of the engport is that they are friends from a very young age and regardless of when you consider that they were each born.

-Was Portugal Lusitania ?, Was England Albion ?, Is Portugal born until the creation of her kingdom ?, Is England greater ?, etc-, we know that the lives of England and Portugal come together very soon.

According to Himayura, England's childhood is one of the most tragic, he was constantly harassed when he was small, weak and defenseless, which explains several traits of his character, looking at the history books, we know that Portugal did not sleep precisely on laurales, he also suffered from invasions and great stress -in fact all countries had complicated childhoods, only sadly there are some who have more bitter experiences in their memory-, with this panorama we see that the time that usually in human beings is of the happier, it was a true hell without any distinction and almost without exceptions for the nations.

To make matters worse, they, unlike other children, could maintain their illusion and innocence in several areas but their minds were already processing and understanding what was happening around them and even if it was difficult for them to do because they were young, they had no options and it was their duty to understand it.

Which must have been frankly overwhelming, since these characters from a very early age had to become familiar with dark concepts such as death, murder, famine, etc.

For what England and Portugal had behind them a difficult, lonely, isolated life and where began little by little the power games that would become more ruthless over time, it is at this moment where they meet.

They could meet at a time when they were still little children, who at any moment could undergo an abrupt change like the one I mentioned about USA where his body changed abruptly and his mind too, that is, they passed adolescence. And in fact both will face this rugged stage together.

Seeing their relationship I think it is very relevant that it occurred in these early years, it was not early enough for them to define each other to a primary degree - what happens with England and France that when they met from a very young age inadvertently molded their identities mutually. - and it was not too late for it to cost horrors to draw a political alliance because they had suffered enough and were distrustful who refused to establish close and deep connections with new people, no.

They were at the right point, where they had already suffered several wounds - betrayals, significant losses, wars, etc - that needed to be healed and they were still accompanied by a certain naivety / illusion that allowed them to keep alive their desire to meet others and wish a real affection - as real as it can be between nations - they were still hopeful in the bottom of their hearts.

Arthur and Port were able to offer themselves in that time full of tension, confusion and loss an Eden, the firm point on which I believe engport is based - and the one that caused its wear and tear in the years to come and its rebirth-.

An Eden is a safe and wonderful place, it is a refuge where they could be two happy children who played in the forest forgetting the pain, where they spoke of their most fanciful illusions without being judged, where they were two teenagers who were together against the world and spoken about their sadness, of they anger and they changing world:

And I've been meaning to tell you

I think your house is haunted

Your dad is always mad and that must be why

I think you should come live with me

And we can be pirates

Then you won't have to cry

Or hide in the closet

(Seven-Taylor Swift)

I put this fragment here because I think it clearly shows this idea of the eden, where both allowed themselves to create a sense of peace, that emotion that was and has been absent their entire existence until they met. A feeling that they cling to desperately to continue standing in that insensitive world in which they lived, not knowing what the future held but more encouraged that whatever it was they could bear it as long as they had their Eden together.

#engport #porteng #aph england #aph portugal #hws england #hws portugal #ship #otp #headcanon #crazy idea #love gay #hetalia #hetalia axis powers #engport-ika

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edyacouky · 3 years

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Not My Pack

Can be read on AO3

Sumary : Reverse Robin / Omegaverse

Batman and Tim are gone to a mission in space.<br />

Alfred take his first vacation since forever.<br />

So Damian is let alone with the last pup, Jason Todd, that his father adopt a few month ago.<br />

Not a big deal, right?<br />

Well until the pup start his heat ...“Are you sure everything will be alright?”

Note :

Damian Wayne Al Ghul Alpha 20 years old

Tim Drake: Unpresented 14 years old

Jason Todd: Omega (presented in this fic) 12 years old

Cassandra Cain: 9 years old not in this fic

Dick Grayson: 6 years old not in this fic

***

Damian sights and rolls his eyes. His father can really be exasperating, especially since he decides to add some pups to their pack.

“Tt- It’s not the first time who leave Gotham to me for one of your Justice League mission.

-This time Alfred won’t be with you either.”

Bruce could only blame himself, he is the one that force his father figure to go on vacation somewhere without cellphone so he can really relax. But he didn’t have expected having a mission on space with the Justice League.

“Maybe I should cancel his trip. He will understand …

-Father, don’t you trust me?”

Now Damian start to be really upset. With the years, they had many problem of communication and trust. Now, they both know that they love each other deeply and would do anything for the other, but they still have difficulty to talk to each other.

“This isn’t the problem. Bruce says wanting to avoid a confrontation. I am not comfortable to let you without back up.

-I will have back up. Damian roll his eyes. Colin leaves in Gotham, in case you forget, and Jon will stay in Metropolis like Iris will be in Central City. And …”

Damian looks at where Jason watches Tim prepare his bag.

“Tt- with your obsession to add unnecessary pups to the pack, we will even have a Cambion each. Oh yeah that’s true my name isn’t good enough for Drake and he change it. By what already?

-By RedBird. And we already talk about that, no pup has to be necessary.”

Bruce sights. True is Bruce is the one who convince Tim to change the name.

He never liked that Damian chosen this name and now that he got by Batson, Bruce just want this name fallen in oblivion.

RedBird is the name Tim chose and Bruce is happy with that.

But Damian never accept that. And he is particularly spiteful with Tim, refusing to accept him as part of his pack.

“Is leaving you Jason going to be a problem for you?”

Jason arrived in the Manor only a few months ago and if the little pup doesn’t seem to have found his place yet in their pack, Damian doesn’t show him the same animosity that he shows to Tim.

“Tt- as long as he doesn’t stole the silverware, there shouldn’t be a problem.”

Bruce sights and want to add something but Superman call him to know when they will arrive. He calls Tim so they leave by the ZetaTub.

“I know the “Cambion remark” was to be mean, but just in case: Jason isn’t authorized to go on the field.

Tt- I know.

-Take care of yourself, sons. Tim and I should be back soon.

-See ya.” Jason says

***

True to be told, Damian as less aversion for Jason that he has for Tim.

Todd didn’t found his father’s secret identity, didn’t come to his house after Damian’s departure because Batman “need” a sidekick.

Todd was unlucky enough to be an orphan from the Narrow and bold enough to steal Batman’s tire the day of his parents death.

Damian can respect that.

Plus, Jason mostly like to be alone, or doesn’t mind spend hours in the same room of someone without talking. Damian appreciate this quality.

“You don’t need a babysitter, do you?

-I am twelve.

-Good. You just need my permission for leaving the Manor, otherwise do whatever a kid like to do.”

Jason raises an eyebrow watching Damian who goes to the Batcomputer.

“That’s it? Aren’t you afraid that I could steal the silverware?

-I already hide it.

-Seriously?”

Damian doesn’t answer, he simply start to caress Alfred the Cat who has taken place in his leg.

Jason doesn’t insist and decide to go to his room.

***

The following days were good. Damian was doing a good job at being Batman in Gotham, he didn’t even need back up. Jason was mostly in school or in his room. They spend time together only to eat.

At first, Damian join Jason because he was sure the pup was like his father and Drake, unable to cook and survive without Alfred.

But when he enters in the kitchen, Jason was already cooking something that smell marvelous.

“Not sure I am supposed let you behind the stove. Damian says

-Like you will cook?

-I am not incompetent like my Father. Mother teach me everything I need to survive, included cooking.

-Well, my mother wasn’t in good state to teach me anything but I am sure I am better than you.

-Tt – What about we check your little hypothesis?”

And just like that, they take the habit to cook together.

Unfortunately, it is not a family habit to have so many good days without any problem coming.

When Damian goes to the kitchen, he is surprised to not see Jason already there. He waits some minutes trying to decide if he should start without him, but it doesn’t seems right for him.

He suddenly realize that he doesn’t hear about Jason for hours now.

He is not worried about his father new pup, absolutely not. After all, he accepted coming in the Manor only to replace his father as Batman. Not to form a bond about this pup that won’t be part of his pack.

He is just curious that’s all.

And if it happen that today, Todd doesn’t want to cook with him, then it would be fine. There is no need to be disappointed about this prospect at all.

He doesn’t find the pup at the library so he goes to his room.

Weirdly, Todd isn’t in there either but Damian hears the shower running.

“Todd, will you eat tonight?” Damian asks knocking at the door

No answer.

Damian knock again calling after the pup, but just the sound of the water answer him.

“Todd, I’m coming in.”

As soon as Damian opens the door he has to pinch his nose.

“That’s stink!

-Fuck you. ‘m still smell better than you.”

Suddenly, Damian recognizes the smell. An omega in heat.

Except Colin’s, Damian never liked the strong smell of an omega in heat or an alpha in rut. Not even his own smell.

Jason is sitting on the shower, cold water that keep fall on him.

“How long are you in there? Damian asks stopping the water

-No! I am too hot! Jason moans

-Tt. How long are you in there?”

Damian take a towel and put it around Jason so he can make him leave the bathroom. Jason is right, he is really warm. Nothing unusual for an omega in heat, but always unpleasant sensation.

“I don’t know. It was still dark outside.

-Tt! It’s noon already! Why didn’t you come find me?”

Jason shrugs.

“Didn’t think you would have help.”

Damian frowns.

He knows that he isn’t a member of a pack of Jason, but he though that the pup knew that he could found him if he was in trouble.

“You’re a pup, of course I would have help you.”

Once Jason was dry, Damian put him so random PJ and put him in the bed.

“Stay in bed, you should be better here. I bring food and water. I don’t want to move, understand?”

Jason keep moaning and rolling in the bed, scratching his clothes. Damian rolls his eyes and leaves him.

***

Damn, this day gets wrong with every minutes.

When Jason hears Damian’s voice, he was relieved. He wants someone to help him, telling him that everything will be fine. But no one in his life was like that to him.

Even his mother … She tried but despite how much she loved Jason, she was part of the reason Jason needed help.

It’s been a few month since he was living in the Manor. The pack is really weird.

Damian, Tim, Alfred and himself are part of Bruce’s pack.

But Damian never try to bond with them, so he isn’t really part of Tim and Jason’s pack.

And Tim and Jason don’t see each other much. Tim come to the Manor only for patrol and Jason can’t participate for now. So they don’t consider each other as part of the same pack.

Alfred tries to change Tim and Jason relationship but there isn’t much that could be do with Damian.

“What a mess.” Jason thinks

Never less, Jason though that when he will finally have his heat, it would be safe and not so lonely.

Jason couldn’t help himself but cries.

He wants the pain to stop. He wishes his mother was alive and hugs him. He wishes Bruce was there, calling him champ. He wishes to have more comfortable PJ and more blanket.

He would have prefer not have an alpha that isn’t pack near him. Logically, Jason knows that Damian is an asshole but he can be nice like when they cook together. But he can’t help but fear of being abused.

Damn, would he feels this miserable every time he will have his heat? That sucks.

“Are you crying? He hears Damian but refuse to react. Tt- there is medicament with your food. Take it.”

Jason shake his head and cowers.

“Tt! Don’t act like a child.”

Damian forces him to sit down and give him some soup and medicament.

“Take it. It would be better after.”

Finally, Jason decide takes a sip, hoping that Damian will leave him after. But the demon forces him to drink all the soup.

“More. Your stomach is empty. You will feel better.”

Damian keeps telling him that but honestly, Jason is just feeling worse.

He can’t wait for his heat to pass.

***

Damian paces in the corridor.

The pup not only stink because of his heat but also because of distress.

Damian doesn’t understand what else he could do. The pup is safely in his den, with food and an alpha to protect him. What else could he want?

Of course he tries to contact Bruce or Alfred but neither answer. And Damian doesn’t consider the situation as an emergency.

True is he is too proud to admit he is overtake by the situation.

Seriously why did that happen now?

Did Jason too young for that? Damian doesn’t think that Drake as presented yet. Himself didn’t present until he was thirteen.

How could he fail? He helps Colin frequently, so he knows what an omega need.

Colin always seems happy in his bed after some food and medicament.

Another sobs is heard from Jason’s room.

Damian sighs.

He needs backup. Quickly.

***

“Hey Dami.

-Hey Beloved.

-Still no improvement? Colin asks him after they kiss

-It gets worse. Damian admits. I appreciate that you comes.

-That’s ok. But he may not want someone that is not part of his pack to come near him.

-Well one of us, will have to come in his room, no matter what.”

Colin shrug an eyebrown.

“Didn’t you guys get close this day?

-Still not pack.”

Colin didn’t try to debate with Damian. His lover could be as stubborn as possessive sometimes.

They were arrived to the corridor, when Colin had to take a break before he was going to throw up.

“You didn’t lie, it stinks. He must have been in distress for hours now.

-He says it was dark when he wake up.

-Damn Dami, you should have call me sooner.

-Tt …”

When they arrives in front of the door, Colin knocks and just stick his head in the room.

“Hey pup, can I come in?

-Who are you?

-I am Dami’s friend, he though I could help you.”

Jason took a moment to smell the air.

“Omega?

-Yes, I am.

-And a rapist?

-Of course he is not! Damian takes offense. Why should I bring some degenerate here?

-Why should I know that? You are not pack, right?” Jason yells

Damian looks really hurt and guilty by the accusation, Colin gently caress his cheeks.

He isn’t really good to show it to people but Damian really care, so much that he may hurts him sometimes.

“I am not here to have sex with you, neither is Damian.”

Jason simply looks at him, judges him.

“Can I come in?”

Finally Jason shrugs.

“Why not?” He whispers

Colin enters and carefully sit down next to Jason. Tenderly, he caress Jason’s hair. He moans so pitifully with just this little touch and love himself against Colin so quickly.

“What? Aren’t Dami’s hugs good enough?

-Damian doesn’t hug.” Jason scoff

Damian doesn’t hear clearly what the two omega say, but by the glare Colin sent him, he knows he is in trouble.

“Are you in pain?

-Not really, don’t feel the cramps since Damian gives me medicament.

-But you don’t feel good?

-Feel like shit.” Jason admit now putting his arm around Colin

Damn, Colin thinks this pup is so cute. He can understand why Bruce decide to adopt him.

After being sure that nothing was physically wrong with the pup. Colin look around the room and see many weird things.

“Don’t you have more blanket? Maybe some more soft.

-Probably. Bruce’s mother was an omega, they must have thousand blankets here.

-True. And are you the one who took away the curtain of your canopy bed?”

Jason shakes his head.

“There weren’t when I took this room.

-May be nice if I put some. Would you like it?”

Jason hums.

“Can I change PJ too?

-Of course sweetie, why couldn’t you?

-Don’t know. Jason shrugs. Damian gives it to me.

-I’m sure he wouldn’t mind if you change.”

Jason nods, happy with this information.

“Ok, kiddo. I am going to bring all of that now.”

Colin tries to stand up but Jason yells and tightens his embraces.

“No, please no.

-Hey, everything will be alright. I have only for a minute or two. Just the time for you to change, ok?”

Jason starts crying again but let Colin go.

“I know that heat suck, but that would be ok now.”

Jason snorts. Damian keeps telling him that before and he was wrong.

He really hope that Colin is right because if his heat are all like that, without possibility of getting better, then he really want to found a permanent way to stop them.

Recalcitrant, Jason leaves the bed to change while Colin goes talk to Damian.

“So?

-So it was bad, Damian.”

Shit Damian and not Dami.

“You didn’t even hug the pup. Seriously, take a book or pick a movie and simply hug him.

-What? This is things I do only with you!

-There nothing sexual in that. And heat is not share only with mate, you know?

-I only do it with you.”

Colin frowns then realizes.

“Wait, you really never share a heat with anyone than me?

-Both of my parent are alpha, and it is not costume in the League. Damian blushes. Expect with the one.”

It’s Colin’s turn to blush.

“Is that for that you were so shy the first you share my heat? Even if it was platonic? Dami, you were only fourteen …

-And I already know then that you were my mate, Beloved.”

Colin could not help himself but to kiss him. His mate always find way to make in fall in love all over again, even if it wasn’t on purpose.

“Look, I understand now that it may be uncomfortable for you, but I truly think that you should give this pup some hugs …

-Beloved …

-You see how he reacts with me, and he doesn’t even know me. He is badly touch starved. And you get to know each other this last days, to appreciate each other, right?

-Tt …

-Look, if you really can’t I will, but for the long term, it would be better if it’s you.”

Damian looks at the pale figure of Jason, he stills seem miserable and shaking. Damian want to help him, he truly do.

“You will come back?

-Oh I just have to go buy some cigarette.

-You don’t smoke. Damian frowns

-No … I mean … That’s a joke.

-Are you sure? It’s not funny.

-Go help your pack’s pup, asshole.” Colin laugh pushing Damian in the room while he goes take what Jason need

Damian doesn’t have the time to tell “Not my pack” before Colin was gone.

Jason is back sulking in his bed and seems disappointed that Colin is not there anymore.

“Tt. Do you mind if I sit down with you?”

Jason shrugs.

“Tt.”

Damian sit down at the edge of the bed. The smell is still too strong and it still feel wrong to share the pup’s heat.

At least Jason stop crying and seems to find his discomfort funny and he is in the expecting of what Damian will do.

When his father will be back home, Damian will kill him for putting him in this position.

“There, there.” Damian says taping the pup’s head

And to his horror, Jason dare laugh at him.

“You’re really bad at that.

-Tt … Colin should be back soon.”

Jason see the alpha differently now. He truly though that he has abandon him, but he is here and with back up, for Jason.

Suddenly, this dark brooding distant alpha looks like a clumsy caring bear.

“Can I hug you?

-If it can truly help you.”

Damian sit a little closer to Jason and the pup throw himself into his arm, purring like a crazy once he was well installed.

Damn, Colin was right, the pup is touch starved. How could Damian miss that? He put one of his hands on the back of the pup and the other on his head playing with his hair. Damian wasn’t sure it was a good idea to repeat same gesture he do with Colin but Jason now is smiling.

The day may not be too bad finally.

***

When Colin return with blankets and curtains, he is relieved to see Jason and Damian much more relaxed.

He gives Jason the blankets and quickly he fix his nest so he can feel more comfortable in it while Damian and he put the curtains.

Once that Jason was sleeping between Colin and Damian, Damian could really consider that they success taking care of the pup.

And finally, sharing the heat of a member of “not his pack” that isn’t his lover is not so bad after all.

#DC comics #damicolin #Damian Wayne #colin wilkes #Jason Todd #omegaverse #omega!jason #alpha!damian #omega!colin

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maxwell-grant · 3 years

Text

Downfall of a Dark Avenger Part 2: Shadows of Manhattan

Having finished reading Al Ewing’s El Sombra trilogy and having had enough time to digest it, I’d like to talk about the trajectory of it’s titular protagonist, the character and series’s relationship with it’s influences. Relating to The Shadow and Zorro and general pulp archetypes, and also the way it incorporates Astro Boy’s Pluto into the mix.

This part is focused on Gods of Manhattan and El Sombra’s first appearences in Pax Omega and the ways in which the urban vigilante manifests itself in the books.

In Gods of Manhattan, El Sombra takes a backseat to it’s central players, Doc Thunder and The Blood-Spider. I’ve mentioned how Thunder, while ostensibly a Doc Savage/Superman amalgam, also combines aspects that allow the character to condense the entire history of the superman into a single being, but to a character very much centered on the future and in progressive ideals, described in the book as someone considered both the city’s ultimate savior as well as viewed as "a faggot, a liberal and a miscegenationist”. In that regard, the Blood-Spider becomes his opposite. Perhaps the most comprehensive savaging of the dark detective/The Shadow ever put on paper, that has a larger point behind the questions and criticisms it brings up to what this kind of figure can be.

"You can hardly have a war on crime unless you are the one defining what a crime is. First rule of the war on crime: everyone is guilty or something"

Us am vigilantes! Am us not men? Us use violence to effect social change! Am us not men? Us bring terror to underclass, make streets safer for overclass! Am us not men? Am us not men?

Making them loved rather than feared. Having them fight crime, or the right kind of crime, at least. Created a persona designed to appeal to the worst in people, to bring the citizens of New York around to his cause, his war on crime, which would, of course, then become a war against ‘urban crime’. Or some other little euphemism. ‘Inhuman’, for example. Sounds a lot more relatable than subhuman, doesn’t it? Comes to the same thing, though.

Although The Blood-Spider is an evil take on The Shadow, most of his character traits are taken from characters that followed him. He’s got the moniker, savagery, fright tactics and branded murders of The Spider, he climbs buildings and has a civilian identity akin to Spider-Man’s, with constant name references to characters like Stacey, Jonah and a redhead named Mary Watson, with him sharing a name with Peter Parker as well as Batman villain Jonathan Crane, he’s got Rorschach monologues that are echoed by his associates past his demise in white supremacist organizations dedicated to carrying off Spider’s legacy, predating HBO Watchmen’s take on Rorschach legacy. If Doc Thunder is all about taking the superhero’s past to create a better future with it, Blood-Spider takes the future of the urban vigilante and uses it as a conduit to enact a barbaric and reactionary agenda in service of undoing everything Thunder stands for, even before he’s revealed to be a Nazi agent.

Blood-Spider is what happens when the absolute worst aspects of said characters are brought to the forefront and twisted by a dose of reality. He’s to The Shadow what Plutonian is to Superman, the most sour way said character and legend can be twisted into something horrendous. He’s the Doutrinador in a fedora, everything I vehemently argue that The Shadow wasn’t, and yet seems sadly ever closer to as more and more comics dehumanize the character. He’s Howard Chaykin’s Shadow, naked and raw and exposed for what it ultimately is. An insult and a wake-up call, if a necessary one.

In fact, said poisoning of a legend is explicitly a plot point in the book, because the book establishes that, before The Blood-Spider, the city’s main vigilante used to be a man by the name of Blue Ghost, friend of Doc Thunder and, although a mysterious public figure, still firmly on the side of good. Unfortunately, moral victories aside, “good” alone doesn’t cut it in the world of El Sombra.

You took a look at the Blue Ghost - mysterious masked avenger, operatives all over the place, big fan-following with the working classes, and you figured...we need one of those. Just take away the Japanese orphan kid and replace him with a foxy Aryan chick.

Blue Ghost is almost a textbook Spirit analogue, even defined as being beat up a lot as his main asset, except here, he’s placed as Doc’s counterpart that died before the story began and is now replaced by a darker and more horrendous counterpart, and because The Spirit was influenced by The Shadow, it opens a roundabout connection. You can read this as a comparison between the shift from Adam West’s Batman to Frank Miller’s Batman, or a comparison between The Shadow and earlier more straightforward pulp vigilantes like Jimmie Dale, or a comparison between the pulp/radio Shadow and later iterations of him or analogues to his archetype that upped the nastier aspects. Again, nothing in El Sombra is ever quite just one thing.

And at last we come to El Sombra, who spends much of the book caught in between the duels of Doc, Untergang and players in between. And it’s interesting that here, while El Sombra’s final victories over the story’s major conflict lie in his willingness to team up with Doc, despite knowing of his origins as a Nazi weapon, his victories over Blood-Spider instead come from turning tricks of The Shadow against him. First, when he discovers Spider’s true nature, spying on him by pulling a Fritz the Janitor. And then in the finale, when he schools Spider on what a real shadowy avenger looks like.

"Amigo...that's my sword"

The voice came from the darkness above them, where the gaslight did not reach. The Spider's blood ran cold for a long moment, and then he grabbed hold of his other gun, tearing it from its holster and raising it to fire a volley of bullets into the darkness. "Where are you? Show yourself!" he hissed, turning in place, the gun raised to fire at the slightest sound or movement.

"You're not the only one who can hide in the shadows, my friend. I've got very good at it, over the years."

"Show yourself!" Another volley of shots, with no result. Was he throwing his voice? Was he everywhere at once? Was he a shadow himself? A ghost?

The voice echoed from another place now, continuing his speech exactly where he had left off. And still that mocking voice echoed from the shadows above.

"See, I didn't know if you were a good guy or a bad guy. I mean, sure, you killed people, and you were kind of a dick about it, you know? But I didn't know if you were one of the bastards. I didn't know if you needed to die or not, amigo."

The gun clicked empty. He was out of bullets. He turned again, and there was the man in the red mask. Just standing there, in the middle of the concourse. His smile didn't look human. And his eyes. Oh, his terrible eyes...

"Stay back." The Spider whispered, and his voice sounded in his ears like a frightened, animal thing, waiting to curl up and die in its hole.

The man in the red mask only laughed. A rich, deep, joyous laugh, a laugh that echoed and filled the whole station, bouncing from pillar to pillar, careening through the great vaulted arches. Such a laugh!

Then the laughter stopped, and he fixed the Blood-Spider with a look that would freeze the fires of Hell.

And suddenly - quite suddenly - there was no Blood-Spider. There was only Parker Crane, the Nazi. Parker Crane, the traitor. Who thought he could destroy America, and only managed to destroy himself. Parker Crane. Just a man wearing a mask. He ran, and left the sword behind him.

"Nice trick," Doc murmured, turning to the masked man. "Throwing your sword from up on the balcony - good aim, by the way - then throwing your voice and a little mental suggestion to make him think you were up in the arches where he'd been. Where did you learn that?"

The masked man shrugged, lifting up his weapon. "In the desert. You can learn a lot in the desert, if you put your mind to it."

By the story’s end, once Lars Lomax, Thunder’s arch-enemy and Lex Luthor, takes center stage as it’s ultimate threat, Parker Crane is left a traumatized, broken shell unable to even move, utterly stripped of any mystique or power that his mask and guns may have brought him. And in the end, El Sombra finds him, neutralized and no longer a threat to anyone. And he makes his choice.

El Sombra knew what it was to hate, to hate so hard and so long that you knew nothing else, to hate so strongly that it crossed that line into something beyond reason.

He lifted his sword, resting the blade in his palm for a moment, considering. Crane only stared, weeping and making his soft, mad noises. El Sombra sighed, shaking his head. "You know, I don't know if I can kill a guy who's already dead. Even if he is one of the bastards."

"Don't let him in here." Murmured Crane, his eyes wide.

"Shhh, I won't let him in," smiled El Sombra in response, trying to be reassuring. "You'll never have to face him again. I promise. It's okay, amigo. It's okay."

It was strange. He knew he should feel hate for Parker Crane. It was Djego's job to bear things like pity and doubt, to feel sorrow and shame. That was Djego's role in their team of one. El Sombra was there to take never-ending revenge and to laugh and to never look back. But to know that his murder of Heinrich Donner - his righteous kill - had resulted in so much harm coming to so many... and now to see the leader of Undergang, the man he'd come to New York to kill, just an empty, broken madman, a shell of a person... El Sombra wondered if he was changing.

"Don't," whispered Crane, a tear rolling down his cheek. "Don't let him back in."

El Sombra smiled, placing a hand on his shoulder. "It's okay, amigo. I'm going to go and make sure nobody ever needs to see him again. And I couldn't have done it without you." He squeezed lightly. "You didn't mean to, but you did some good. Remember that."

Then, gently, he pushed the tip of the sword through the front of Crane's skull and into his brain.

He was not incapable of pity. But he was who he was, and he did what he did.

And broken or not, the bastards had to die.

We’ve seen El Sombra struggle and be faced with choices, choices between Djego and El Sombra, choices between kindness and violence, between peace and conflict. We’ve seen the conflict in his soul between things that he knows are right, because Djego is a good man with a good soul who wants good things for himself and others, and things he knows he must do, because he is El Sombra and El Sombra was created to kill the bastards that brought his world to ruin and therefore it’s what he must always do. And in the end, El Sombra is simply stronger. He has to be. But strength and violence and hatred can only get one so far.

Gods of Manhattan is the trilogy’s moral compass, the book that most clearly defines the morality the series operates on. And in between the spectrums of justice embodied by Doc and Crane’s approach, between the two urban avengers in The Blue Ghost and Blood-Spider, El Sombra made his choice. And it’s the first choice that dooms him.

Enter Pax Omega, and we learn that, 4 years since the previous book's events, El Sombra joined a squad of agents called Yankee Bravo Seven, who work for an organization named STEAM, who enact missions against Nazis to turn the tides of war. He is joined by several other types of characters, including The Blood Widow, Crane’s former assistant Marlene Lang now having taken up the moniker (just as Nita van Sloan did for The Spider, even with the “Widow” prefix). We see that El Sombra has joined a team of bantering heroes and even formed a friendly rivalry with a man named Savate, modeled after Batroc the Leaper.

But we see that the hunger for vengeance still burns, still burns beyond reason, restless because it’s been 4 years and the war still isn’t over and Hitler still isn’t dead by his sword. And it’s that restlessness that again dooms him, when he once again makes the wrong choice and betrays leader Jack Scorpio, Scorpio who had personally brought him on board and gave him the best shot he ever had at getting to Hitler.

El Sombra frowned. "We need to make our move now."

Scorpio shook his head. "Not yet."

"What?" El Sombra looked incredulous.

"Wait for my signal, I said! Damn it, I need you to trust me!" Jack Scorpio reached up to brush the back of his finger across his forehead, and realised he was sweating.

Through his special glasses, El Sombra's aura was glowing an angry, pulsing red, like a throbbing vein. "Just...trust me. I'm asking you to hold back for just five minutes. There's more going on here than you know."

El Sombra just stared at him, his lips pulling back from his teeth in a cold snarl.

"Trust me. That's all I ask." Jack Scorpio looked into the blazing eyes behind the bloodstained mask, and spoke softly, soothingly, almost desperately. "Can you just hold back for one minute?"

The eyes behind the mask narrowed.

"Can you?"

PERSONNEL FILE: DJEGO "EL SOMBRA". TO EYES ONLY: THIS INDIVIDUAL IS HIGHLY DANGEROUS. IT IS STRONGLY RECOMMENDED HE NOT BE INCLUDED IN ANY OPERATIONS CLASSIFIED ABOVE TOP SECRET OR HIGHER. (I'll take the risk - J.S)

El Sombra spat in Scorpio's face.

"Chinga tu madre."

Then he drew his sword and leaped down into the fray.

After the mission is over, with the base destroyed and a major victory secured, although with Jack Scorpio having been killed, the team disbands. El Sombra continues to wander the forests near the Luftwaffe base for about two weeks, killing as many Nazis as he can, until an explosion blast hits near him, knocking away his mask and portions of his leg and arm, and rendering him unconscious for 8 months. By the time he wakes up, the war has ended, and so has El Sombra for the past 7 years.

Djego was afforded the best of medical care at the hospital in Venice. El Sombra was nowhere to be found.

His mask had been torn off in the explosion, along with some of the meat of his leg and arm. He walked stiffly, now, with a pronounced limp, and his left arm was all but useless, hanging limply at his side. The Wildcat crew had salvaged his sword, but Djego had little interest in using it.

Gradually, he regained his mobility. The back of his head itched constantly, and he suffered from horrendous mood swings, when he would rage against the Fuhrer and the bastards, or weep helplessly, like a child. But gradually, he found his personality stabilising in the gentle, antiseptic atmosphere of the hospital. He found that Djego - so long despised as a weakling, a coward and a fool - was capable of a kind of gentle, melancholic wit that made him popular.

Djego healed and grew, and the itch in the back of his skull began to subside, as El Sombra relinquished his grip.

Djego felt his heart seize in his chest. The cloth was missing a scrap at the end, and there was mud ground into the fabric along with the old bloodstains; but it had two evenly-spaced holes in it, and was unmistakably a mask. It seemed to be looking at him.

He takes up gardening and establishes himself in the city of Brandenberg, he becomes a fixture of the city and a friend of it, he enters a relationship, and El Sombra never appears again.

Until a mysterious stranger named Leonard Lorraine, walks through his door one day, saying he’s got a mission to fulfill, and hands him his mask. And, once again, El Sombra is simply stronger, and he makes the wrong choice again.

Djego shook his head and tried to step back from it, but his legs wouldn't move.

"No," he whispered. "No. Please"

"I was happy," pleaded Djego. "Doesn't that matter to you?" He picked up the cloth in trembling fingers, looking into the empty eyeholds. "Doesn't that mean anything?"

There was no answer. The patrons of the bierkeller did not even notice anything was happening.

"I was happy," Djego choked, and then, in one spasmodic motion, he pulled the mask onto his face, and secured it tightly, so that the knot once again rested in the back of his head, where it belonged: so tightly that it might never come off again.

El Sombra looked at his hands.

He prodded his belly, amused at the rounded shape of it, and took a couple of steps back from the bar. The limp was gone.

He laughed, very softly, so as not to disturb the patrons.

Djego and Lorraine walk through the desolate streets of Berlin, which in the years since has completely sealed itself from the outside world through an impossibly thick dome, and Djego discovers the city completely bereft of life, with only a few lobotomized robotic citizens aimlessly wandering and chewing on the mountains of corpses in the city, as their Nazi ideology reached it’s inevitable outcome of total annihilation of any and all that the party could find an excuse to slaughter in the name of purity, which eventually included it’s few remaining members. In this world, Hitler has been a brain inside a robotic contraption ever since 1945, and it’s amidst this scenario that El Sombra, while thinking about how his final confrontation with Hitler would play out, eventually finds what’s left of Hitler.

All around them, there were the sounds of machinery, but the Mecha-Fuhrer was completely silent, utterly motionless. In the centre of its chest rested a tank of toxic green fluid, and on the surface of the fluid, a human brain floated, like the corpse of a goldfish.

It was quite dead.

El Sombra stared at the Fuhrer for a long moment. Eventually, he spoke, and his voice was cracked and raw, and choked with rage. "Is...is this a joke?"

De Lareine smiled his terrible smile. "The Fuhrer's body needed a great deal of maintenance and repair, you know. After two years, one of the processes delivering oxygen to his brain failed...and there was nobody left to repair it. He died, slowly." There would have been some pain, at the end".

El Sombra slammed his fist into the great iron throne on which the massive body sat, shattering his knuckles and tearing the skin from them. He didn't seem to notice. "Some pain," he choked, through gritted teeth."

El Sombra was still staring into the empty, dead eyes of the Fuhrer.

El Sombra again chooses poorly. It’s this moment, above all else, that truly damns him to his fate, as we come to see what is it exactly that a persona created for the purpose of vengeance has, when said vengeance is robbed from it. Like Parker Crane, his persona crumbles completely to expose the petty, ugly little feelings that drove it to such grandstanding antics in the first place, and the allmighty El Sombra is exposed for the all-too human failings that damned him once and for all.

"This isn't right," he said, eventually, in a strangled voice. "How...how can it end like this?"

"Why shouldn't it?" De Lareine shrugged. "Here's a thought. Maybe, despite his twenty-year tantrum and all his dressing up, spoilt little Djego is not the centre of the universe -"

El Sombra turned, face red, tears streaming from his eyes, and charged at De Lareine, slashing his sword. El Sombra crashed down onto the floor, into the soot scattered about, as De Lareine walked around him.

"Did you really believe Adolf Hitler would wait around for your sword? Did you not imagine that it might be better for him to seal himself off in a hole to die, instead of murdering and enslaving continents until you finally got around to him? Did you think you were the hero of your own little story, El Sombra, with your mask and your laugh and your-"

"Shut up!" El Sombra cried out, scrambling to his feet, the sword shaking in his hand, tears and snot running down his face. "He was mine! He was mine to kill!" He lifted the sword, the tip trembling. "Bring him back," he screamed, "do you hear me? Bring him back to life!"

De Lareine had to laugh at that.

And in the end, El Sombra is crushed, spiritually and physically as his spine is shattered by Lareine, who begins to experiment on him as he lays dying, ready to fulfill fate’s greater purpose for El Sombra. Ready to become not just the perfect machine Pasito’s conquerors intended, but a superior design. Ready to abandon his former life, ready to abandon everything that defined him, ready to shed any and all traces of Zorro and Shadow and pulp hero in his system, because the age of pulp heroes and superheroes has passed.

The metal man emerged from his hole, dragging the corpse of the Fuhrer behind him.

The brain in the metal man's chest would, perhaps, live for thousands of years. He wondered how he would spend the time.

He remembered little of his former life; he had been a man named El Sombra, or perhaps Djego. He had been stupid - he realised that now - but that was something he would never be again.

Apart from that, there was only a succession of faces, the memory of laughter and of a final, awful betrayal that had destroyed him. But there was also the sense that a great and terrible mission had ended at last, and it was time for a new life to begin.

The metal man took a last look back at the great dome of Fortress Berlin. Somewhere in there, the Leopard Man was hunting, freed from his own mission. And in the Fuhrer's old office, the empty, lifeless clay of El Sombra - or was it Djego? - lay, discarded, like a butterfly's cocoon.

The metal man thought on this, as the Fuhrer rusted at his feet and the tanks began to approach from over the hills ahead.

He would need a new name.

It’s now the age of Pluto.

#replies tag #pulp heroes #al ewing #el sombra #pluto

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bi-kisses · 3 years

Note

I was going through your discourse shortcut and noticed an issue. In your trans brain section, all the links are about whether sexed brains exist, whether trans brains are different than their natal sex, but your accompanying paragraph is all about proprioception. it's the jump i honestly struggle with most regarding all this. my opinion as of yet isn't really decided. i've noticed all sides make really big assumptions. in this case, it's that the differences in the brain then translate to a dysphoric feeling that can only be solved through transition. but that assumes 1. the differences in the brain are the reasons dysphoria developed rather than dysphoria causing those differences to develop 2. those differences affecting proprioception, despite rarely being in the part of the brain associated with that 3. that these are permanent (that kind of goes with #1— the brain changes w depression, 4 example) 4. that all people with this type of brain develop trans identity and seek medical transition (the sample is taken from trans people rather than from people with ___ brain type, it's a self fulfilling sample) 5. i've also just noticed studies tend to poorly control for hrt and sexuality 6. that all people with this brain type will benefit from transition

i was wondering your reasoning behind making those assumptions because i think they're certainly not insignificant and i think it's what i struggle with most when weighing the degree of this. because those questions all have a great impact on the permanence and absoluteness of this, which is the main thing you (general) use this as evidence of in the first place.

i believe sex affects the brains and all that, that's not what this is about. it's more about the assumptions people interpreting the studies and those doing the studies are making, as well as the methods and whether the sampling is truly representative. i know it's impossible to have a perfect study— i have all these questions because i'm going into a non human biology field and they just drill us on tearing apart this kind of thing all the time, no matter how much evidence there is (like climate change lol).

I'll talk about these as the numbered list followed by the other points, these are all good questions!

1. If the dysphoria causes the differences, I'd have to wonder what causes the dysphoria. In either case, the fact of the matter is that people with gender dysphoria have atypical neurology, and thats important because it shows there is a biological basis to what they're experiencing. We don't have (or really need) all the answers in that case and I've wondered the same myself a number of times.

2. This one is interesting because proprioception isn't centralized to one area of the brain, and mostly has to do with electrical nerve communications. I actually don't posit that the studies in the trans brain section have much to do with that part of the brain, they're more showing that there is a hormonally-influenced difference with the brain as a whole with or without HRT (I'll talk more about that later)

3. I think the kicker here for me is we've observed these neurological traits in young adults, middle aged trans people, and in the brains of deceased trans people. Take that how you will.

4. Oh I agree with you here, that if we only examine people who are trans and not those who solely have gender dysphoria, we haven't isolated gender dysphoria as a factor. But several studies linked in the spreadsheet I reference actually are gender dysphoria-specific and don't require any level of trans identification; just the dysphoria diagnosis. That being said, there are people who have gender dysphoria but choose not to transition for whatever reason and technically speaking (from a medical standpoint) they're trans as they possess the necessary attributes of transsexualism, but socially they aren't and that's their business. Kind of an aside there.

5. Some do, yes, but again I have posts that actually point to specific studies which do control for those things and mirror results of the more ambiguously-controlled ones.

6. See above, I don't think using the word "benefit" alone is enough to explain why transition is often the best method of treating GD. It can be beneficial to the dysphoria, but not the person as a whole due to a slew of other factors. And sometimes the fact that the changes are artificial don't help with the dysphoria in the first place. So I wouldn't say it's always the best option or always beneficial (I don't think I've ever said that but it is a common assumption)

So now on to why I harp on about proprioception so much; it's sort of explained in the shortcut, but I'll clarify specifically.

A big thing with trans people is phantom limb syndrome. Trans women not experiencing it after vaginoplasty, trans men experiencing it before phalloplasty, as the two biggest examples. We know for a fact that the brain often wires itself to expect certain characteristics, as shown with born-amputees still feeling PLS even though they never possessed the limb in the first place. It's a logical conclusion, with this information, that the reason one would feel at odds with their body has to do with the part of their mind that actually has to work with the layout of said body.

I won't lie and say I can prove this with a bunch of studies or anything, but I do believe this because it's what I've been told by neurologists (I've spoken to the people who run trans research personally in the past) and also what they themselves conclude with the information we're given.

I don't personally think it's a huge stretch but I understand the hesitance to share my confidence and I won't criticise or judge you for that.

So why use those studies if I don't even really think they play a role in gender dysphoria, you may wonder, and the truth is I don't really find that it matters. Whether or not we know the how and the why, we do know that for decades and decades trans men and women have consistently had these traits, with or without HRT and/or full transition. My resources more prove that there's no denying the biological nature of being trans, that to pretend it's some new phenomenon coming from ROGD or buying into dysmorphia too hard is ignorant at best. All the proprioceptive stuff is sort of the most likely theory we have but it's not the be-all-end-all for what makes someone trans. I'm excited to see what studies in the future reveal about all this, and as those who love science well know, happy to be proven wrong should it be the case.

#anonymous #long post #source post

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akimmito · 4 years

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I’ll still be with you

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Master List

Chapter 4: My Way

If it were any other day of any other month in any other year before that, he would have refused, but it's not any other day, it's the day that Damian Wayne has accepted that he's fed up with being, precisely, Damian Wayne.

His world was shaken a lot since he was ten years old and when the earthquakes under his feet finally stopped, an earthquake destroyed everything he suffered to build. The relationship with Grayson was taken from him, all his efforts were ignored and trampled on as if they meant nothing. His title was a lie, his privileged position a mirage and being of the same blood, a chain that hurt them both.

Maybe we should just go our separate ways.

"Damian?"

"Daemon Rothschild."

"Uh." Drake just turns to the computer and starts working.

Damian, no, Daemon sits on the floor and takes one of the thrown papers, looking at it as if it were an object of real interest. It is a letter written in French, a delicate curved handwriting that says a lot about the lady who wrote it.

CN has not been on patrols for the past two weeks, his father exhibiting erratic behavior near the fifth anniversary of his wife's disappearance, increasingly desperate to get the two prodigies. CN mentioned that N made a successful recovery after four years of illness, a little longer and would have had the same end as E.

P has started an investigation against HM in his civilian identity for child exploitation, psychological abuse and illegal use of military weapons. Your tests and what was rescued from MK's memory were weighty, even if we don't arrest them for their crimes as HM, GA will spend a lot of time in prison and with TK and PG we have talked about the curses, I was even in contact with the man who you mentioned to me, JC turned out to know a lot about prodigies and provided important information to achieve the goal I mentioned you.

I know you will continue to investigate until you remove all the dirt that HM hides, I hope some of that can be used in court. It's been five long years and you don't know how grateful I'm that we met that night.

Come visit me soon, MDC.

The date is of ten months ago. Drake kept this woman, his activities with her, and the whole criminal affair a secret. Only someone with knowledge of the matter could understand whose initials are, but from the things of a certain Gabriel Agreste scattered all over the floor, you can assume that HM and GA are the same person. A type of villain? That is probable. And the chances that this woman is the same in the photographs are very great.

"Entertaining?" Drake turns to him, looking at him with an amused expression. Daemon assumes that he had everything ready just to add whatever name he chose.

Drake never does anything without having everything done beforehand. In those moments it's even reassuring, it means that he took the time to think about whether carrying it was a good idea, that he's not just a dead weight that he decided to drag without knowing what to do with him, that he took the trouble to make it as significant as his own depart.

"Who is MDC?"

"The person we're meeting with. Now, do you want to go back to the mansion or would you rather we go to dinner?"

"You're acting suspicious, Drake."

"I'm not going to risk that your built-in tracker has a damn microphone, mine had one and it was annoying as hell to get rid of it without raising suspicions." He gets up from his chair when the AI is heard, Kolia, deliver a report.

Batman requests a meeting. The Joker has escaped from Arkham an hour ago.

Perfect.

I haven't even gotten a damn message.

Daemon takes out his phone, which only has a message from Jon advising that his things were taken by Alfred. Unsurprisingly, all of Arkham could have escaped, but his father would not revoke his punishment even on his deathbed.

"You will go?"

Drake walks over to a drawer and pulls out a gold ring? Some kind of double ring attached by a wire? Or something like that. He can't see it well.

"My old Red Robin suit will looks good on you, I'm sure. Do you want to disobey his orders? "He gives him a knowing smile and there's a crazy desire in his gaze to spread the chaos he'd only seen in Todd in his best days.

Will life with Drake be like this?

It seems he have made the right decision, there is only one question left to ask.

"What suit will you wear?"

"The one I used in Paris."

Drake leaves the matchbox in an unknown direction, Daemon immediately follows him so as not to lose him. He doesn't know the apartment, if he wants to wear that suit, if he wants to fight on his own terms, he's not in his plans to get lost.

The hidden part that is the main base of Red Robin is as modern as the bell tower, although he has a small suspicion that accessing this place is much more difficult than the cave. He has no proof, but no doubts either.

"From today you will no longer be Robin, take the suit as a simple transition between what you were and what you will be. When I took the old Red Robin costume, I did it because Jason had already worn it and that meant he was no longer Robin, but more importantly, I was no longer bound by the rules that Batman had set me... I was willing to go so far as necessary in my search for Bruce. "

"Makes sense."

Daemon always thought that wearing that suit and calling himself Red Robin only spoke of a lack of originality, of preparation, but it seems that he also spoke a lot about what Drake intended to do from that moment on. It took a year for him to put on a suit again and hit the streets, it took him a month to settle in and then it was only a matter of time before he left for three years.

"Change out. We will go around Gotham and wait for the night. We can find out what B is planning from Jason."

Drake sits down and activates the central computer, Kolia starts asking for identity checks, very interesting questions, but only one catches his attention.

Girl or boy?

"Girl."

Daemon looks at him for a moment before heading to the locker room, intrigued.

Look at the Red Robin suit in his hands, the suit that marked the change of direction Drake took so long ago. And now it will also mark his.

If there is a better version of me.

I will reach it.

Red Robin slides into the back of the motorcycle with Solarhahn, whose colors are predominantly red and gold with a little orange. The costume is magical, it's easy to guess just by looking at his eyes: the yellow sclera and orange eyes with red that stare back at him, surrounded by a red mask that fades into yellow near the edges. His cape simulates wings that start from the arms, those, he identified, can be detached to become (1) arrows and (2) small throwing blades, depending on his intentions. The costume is predominantly dark red with gold parts on the thighs, chest, and arms, the gloves a shade of red that doesn't decide whether to remain red or turn orange. But the most interesting thing is his black hair that melts into red and ends in gold towards the ends, as if it were on fire.

He couldn't help but give him a second glance when he saw it, the gold ring on his right ring finger, almost hidden by the shade of the gloves.

Drake showed him a little summary of the whole situation, the heroes and his role, but it was all too superficial, but enough to capture the significance of the event.

A very dangerous magical matter, too delicate and of which only Wonder Woman was aware outside of Paris, until Drake crashed with the whole thing in his search for Bruce. That sounds like something that would happen to him, he have that kind of luck.

"Don't ask questions. We will answer everything, but later."

Daemon nods and Drake instructs Kolia to report anything to the communications. That's when he gives him a very particular one and the same yellow color that he wears in his suit. He takes it and puts it on before putting on his hood, at which point the older man starts the motorcycle and the doors begin to open.

As they race through the streets of Gotham at dusk, Daemon looks up at the orange sky.

I extend my corrupted hand... towards a heaven that will no longer receive me.

But I know this is the way to save myself.

To find my way.

-------

I liked the name Daemon, it's of Greek origin. So, I was looking for names and I found it, I knew it was that. The other name was Demian, after Demian Sinclair from Hernan Hesse's book, but I decided on the other. Also, Daemon can also mean demon if other meanings are looked up and I see it almost as an inside joke that only he and Tim will know.

It was hard for me to write this chapter, I didn't want to make it sad, but I didn't want it to feel out of place either, I hope I made it.

From here it's only a matter of time before Marinette appears on the scene.

What do you think of how the story unfolds so far?

Tag list: @incredulous-reader @dnsakina

#maribat #ml x dc

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sshbpodcast · 3 years

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Tales from the Holodeck: DS9 Fanfic: Chris’s Story

Not only has A Star to Steer Her By wrapped all of Deep Space Nine, but your podcast hosts are also celebrating our fifth anniversary of bringing you through all of Star Trek! As a treat, we’ve concocted DS9-themed fanfic stories and teleplays in our much-celebrated “Tales from the Holodeck” series that you can listen to us cold read here (this one starts at 39:05). Read on for the transcript of Chris’s Weyoun-Ee’char story below, that might pilot a whole new series we’re all asking for!

“Dude, Where’s My Ee’char?”

By Chris

Random picks: Weyoun, Ee’char

“Tea, earl grey, hot?”

Miles O’Brien instinctively glanced up at those words. Surely not. Sure enough, a lanky Andorian walked up to the counter and accepted the drink that had been called out. Admiral Picard – well, not Admiral, anymore, but even thinking of him as “Jean-Luc” was bizarre to O’Brien – had less than no reason to be hanging around Starfleet Academy. Or Starfleet anything, for that matter.

“Not that I can entirely blame him,” he mused to himself, going back to the PADD containing last week’s warp field dynamics exam. “Nothing’s felt right since Romulus was destroyed. And then Mars…maybe Keiko’s right. Maybe it’s time to retire.”

He sighed and put down his stylus. Twenty years of teaching at Starfleet academy and even he could see how things were shifting. The students grew less and less enthused, dropout rates going up, those that did stay becoming so by-the-book when it came to everything that it was maddening.

“They’re just lacking in imagination,” he’d moaned to Keiko one day. “If I’d thought like them we’d’ve never got the Defiant working like she did. They think the deflector array is just for deflecting things.”

He had immediately realized how ridiculous and old-mannish it had sounded. But even his wife had been on Starfleet ships long enough to get it. Everything on a ship potentially had a purpose no one had ever dreamed of, and dreaming it up in that critical moment could be the difference between getting the ship home and a warp core breach.

“Professor O’Brien?” came a strangely-familiar voice from behind him. He turned and saw what he thought, at first, must have been a Romulan because they were smiling. And there was a sardonic edge to the tone that didn’t seem terribly Vulcan, either. But the fellow had that waxlike pallor that was unique to the latter, something their cousin species had evolved away over their centuries apart.

“Yes. Can I help you?”

“No, but my employer believes he can help you.”

Well, this was shady. Was Section 31 out for belated revenge? Maybe someone had finally slipped in Starfleet Intelligence and the Orion syndicate found out he’d worked undercover against them? Could it be that some T’Lani was still cross about what he and Julian had revealed about their corruption? The grudge could’ve gone further back; someone related to the incident at Setlik III had tracked him down. Christ, for someone who’d only ever been an engineer he’d sure managed to pile up a list of old enemies that could come calling. Ought to at least make him an honorary Commander for that.

“And he would be?”

“An old friend.” The mystery man reached into a pocket and pulled out a small, red figurine. The coonskin cap was unmistakable. “He said this would explain. He remembers the hours you and the good Doctor spent on this.”

So it wasn’t Julian, but someone who knew how they’d passed their time in their DS9 days. Didn’t rule out Section 31, or necessarily a few others, but it did make him feel a little better. He realized the man was still holding out the figure to him, so he reached out and took it, putting it in the bag he’d been carrying his PADD and some miscellany in.

“My employer understands that you’re too cautious a man to just meet somewhere.” The man’s voice – what was it that was so familiar? – had dropped even further. “Be at your desk in twenty minutes. A signal will come in. Use the code on the bottom of the figure.”

The man turned without another word and strode off. O’Brien raised his eyebrows and watched him go. He’d have to tell Julian about this next time they talked; he’d be jealous. Goodness knows how long it had been since his old friend had been involved in any cloak-and-dagger shenanigans.

Despite everything O’Brien was a little surprised when, back at his desk, his computer began to chirp. The text on the screen read “incoming external transmission”. External transmissions were always supposed to go through central comms; only an Admiral could bypass that procedure, normally. He turned the little figure over and punched in the numbers he saw there.

“Ah, my dear Professor O’Brien!”

“Ga-” O’Brien stopped himself. For some reason he felt if he said the full name of the Cardassian now grinning at him from the screen it would just summon the whole of Starfleet security. Just behind him and to his left stood the mystery Vulcan/Romulan from the cafe.

“You look well, Professor,” Garak continued, not acknowledging whether or not he had caught the Engineer’s odd outburst.

“Having you call me that is a bit weird,” O’Brien admitted. “How about Chief? I think that’s still technically my rank.”

“Very well, Chief. I believe you know my associate?”

“Not that I can remember.”

“Oh, how silly of me,” the man said, reaching up. “I still have the mask on.”

His hand slid down his face, and the telltale webbing of a holographic disguise flickered to life as the pallor, eyebrows, and eyes vanished. Instead there was a very different kind of pointed ear, skin like powder, and violently violet eyes.

“Weyoun…”

“Yes, it would seem there were, in fact, a few leftover despite what we had been told.” Garak smirked in that old, familiar, entirely unsettling way of his. “It seems they just meant their Alpha Quadrant supply.”

“Of course, I’m now the actual, final one,” Weyoun added. “Garak here found me right before I was…discarded. My predecessors had not been quite so lucky.”

“Is that where you’ve been the past two decades then?” O’Brien asked. “The Gamma Quadrant?”

“Mostly.” Garak raised his brow briefly. “Someone has to keep an eye on the Dominion. Starfleet Intelligence can hardly be trusted to do it on their own, the Romulans are too busy trying to keep their culture intact, and Klingons have never had a spy agency in their entire recorded history.”

“I see.”

“I came across a story that I thought might interest you.” He glanced down and pecked a few buttons just off-camera, and a ping sounded on the Chief’s computer. “Look particularly carefully at the upper left-hand corner of the screen. It was a pleasure to see you, Chief.”

“Wait…”

But Garak was already gone. O’Brien knew there’d be no point in asking for a trace. Should he report this? He was supposed to, certainly. But this was Garak. O’Brien…well, okay, to say he trusted Garak would be a staggering lie. But he certainly felt like both the Federation and he personally owed him enough that he could be allowed this little indulgence. At least once.

Decision made, O’Brien opened the message he’d been sent. He winced when he recognized rather quickly the world of Argratha. It had all the appearance of a news story of some kind. But the Universal Translator hadn’t caught up to the shift, so he started over and paused it.

Argratha. He’d been twice. The second time some fifteen years later, to testify at a public hearing about his experiences the first time. What his false-memory twenty year imprisonment had been like. There was talk at the time of abandoning the practice; it made the judicial process too casual, too many false guilty charges because, for those who’d never experienced it, what was really lost? The Chief and countless others had told them. How real the time felt, and how cruel the simulation was. He’d told the Special Envoy who’d arranged for him to go that he felt he deserved a medal for how calm he’d been during his testimony. The Envoy had chuckled until the Chief’s expression had told him he had very much meant it.

He started the story up again. When he’d not heard anything for months after his testimony he’d assumed the reforms had failed and the sick practice was still going on. But in fact it had simply taken a bit of extra time and work. The story was about the closing of the final facility that had run such incarcerations. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to weep or go celebrate. He was going to call Keiko straightaway, that much was…

The upper left hand corner.

“No.”

He had almost forgotten to look.

“No.”

Despite it being the entire reason Garak had dropped by.

“Fuck.”

Ee’char. His “imaginary” cellmate. Standing among the crowd of politicians and other self-congratulatory types formally shutting the program down. Almost identical to the twenty-year-older Ee’char from his memories, though one that had clearly lived a somewhat less wretched life. One who’d gotten proper meals and sleep and care, just like O’Brien had.

But did he have the false twenty years that still occasionally wafted into his nightmares and had him waking in a cold sweat? Did he still, on rare occasions, almost set aside a bit of his meal before realizing saving it wasn’t necessary?

“In short, friend,” the Chief said aloud. “Who the fuck are you?”

He was glad the stopover at DS9 to switch transports had been short. None of the old crew were there, anymore, but he was fairly certain he was at least vaguely acquainted with some of the Stafleet staff that still maintained a presence on the Bajoran station, and the last thing he wanted to be was some old man wandering around his old posting looking worn and nostalgic. Even Quark had shipped out for Freecloud. A part of him had been tempted to see if Morn was still at his usual seat in whatever the bar was called now, assuming it was even still a bar. But he had just stayed in the docking ring and then made his way to the next leg of his journey.

He spent the flight through the wormhole standing by a window with just about everyone else. He realized that he’d never gone through it after the War had ended, so it was his first time making the journey in ages that he wasn’t expecting to potentially die on the other end. It was so nice to just watch it, to get lost in its beauty, and vaguely wonder if Sisko was watching him just then.

O’Brien stood in the space between two homes, watching as a car slid noiselessly from the sky and halted in front of the house. Finding his old friend had been much easier than he’d expected; Garak had encoded everything he needed to find the man in the newsclip he’d sent. A door hissed open and the old Argrathan stepped out. He exchanged inaudible words with someone in the vehicle before the door shut and it lazily drifted back into the sky. O’Brien glanced around. No one else seemed to be coming. He watched as the other man walked towards the his home.

The Chief darted from the shadows and jogged across the street. If Ee’char heard him he showed no sign. O’Brien reached up, paused, and then gently tapped the other man on the shoulder. He gasped and spun.

“Yes?” he asked.

“I’m…ah…I’m Miles O’Brien.”

“Oh. Oh! Yes, yes, I remember watching your testimony.” He held out a hand “Ko’vax.”

“A pleasure,” the Chief replied, taking his hand and shaking it.

“But why did you come to see me?”

“We…well, we were cellmates, you see.”

“Were we?” He nodded slowly. “Well. Someone had quite the sense of humor.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’ve been arguing against our mental prisons for a very long time.” His lips went slender and he glanced off. “Please. Come in, have a warm drink.”

“I…sure, thank you.”

“I never had the misfortune of experiencing what you or so many others did,” Ko’vax explained, putting down what seemed effectively to be a mug in front of O’Brien. “But my father did.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Thank you.” He picked up his own mug, almost took a drink, but didn’t and put it down. “His story was similar to so many others. To yours. Adjusting was so hard. Too hard. They don’t offer any kind of help to reintegrate to society. To help you deal with the fact that you’ve not actually lost any time but it still feels like a huge swathe of your life is gone. That might be worse than actually losing time. I don’t know.”

“Neither do I. I’ve never had the real version.”

“He lasted…half a year. My brother found him.” Ko’vax paused and took a sip of his drink, and the Chief finally did automatically. Not that he took any note of the flavor. “I’d already started writing letters, but I got more active after that. Showed up at politician’s doorsteps. Showed up and shouted at meetings that had nothing to do with it. Became a real pain.”

“Must’ve been afraid they’d…well, you know.”

“Oh, sure. But I didn’t care. Let them. Let them put me in a fifty year dream, a century, I knew I’d be fine. I’d have my rage to see me through.” He sighed. “I was so angry for so long. I mean, I never stopped being angry, but you can’t be as constantly angry as I was at first. That would be impossible.”

“So what happened?”

“I lived my life. But I never stopped my campaigning. Whatever free moment I could scrounge up was spent talking with others who shared my goal. I guess someone thought it would be a good laugh to have a cellmate based on the man who hated them and their program so damn much.” He smiled. “But then I got to be there today. When it all ended. Thanks to so many people. Like you.”

“I…” The Chief paused. “I’m glad I could help.”

“So what made you come to see me?”

“I wasn’t sure who you were, to be honest. Outside of looking like Ee’char. That was his name.” He paused. “I guess a part of me was almost hoping you’d been part of it somehow. So I could let you have it. And feel less bad about…how things went between me and the other you.”

“We didn’t get along, eh?”

“We did, eventually. And then for a long time. But then, towards the end…”

“It gets particularly bad, yes. Everyone says that.”

“Well. Glad to know it wasn’t just me getting special treatment, I suppose.” O’Brien took another drink. Now that he was paying attention he realized it was very pleasant. He’d have to find out what it was and bring some home. “We fought. You…he…I killed him.”

“I’m sorry.”

“You’ve nothing to apologize for. I killed you. Sort of.”

“I’m sorry on behalf of a government that will never properly apologize fo anyone affected by their sick little program because they think it’s just fine. They are giving it up with great reluctance you can be sure.” He paused. “And I’m sorry you were driven to that. I know we’ve barely met but you don’t seem the type. So it must have been truly awful to drive you that far.”

“I guess so. I hope so.” He paused. “I don’t know. I’d killed before. Served in one war already by then. But this was something else. Something that still comes up at me in the wee hours. Every time I’d killed before then I could justify it as having been for my survival. And that’s what I told myself it was that time, but I’d not actually proven that first. I told myself it must have been so I could.”

“I wish I could help. I’m almost sorry I’m not who you thought I was.” He shrugged. “If it helps, well…I didn’t go what you went through, but I saw firsthand what it does to people. I know how real it can seem, even to those who go in knowing it isn’t. You had no idea. I’m sorry they used my face as part of your torture. But, if it helps…well, I forgive you. On behalf of the false me. And I only wish you the best.”

“Thanks.” He smiled, nodded. “That actually is nice to hear, somehow.”

The wormhole again. Its eddies and currents and majesty unchanged even as the twenty years around it had entirely altered O’Brien’s world. Why had the gone all the way to the Gamma Quadrant? What would he have done if Ko’vax had been involved somehow? Certainly not killed him. Shouted for a bit? What good would that have done? But what good had this done? No. Time to move on. Figure out what’s next. He’d been in neutral for far too long, and…

“Oh, I know that look,” came a voice to his side that he scarcely believed he was hearing. “That is the look of the Chief when everything seems against him. When things have stopped making sense.”

O’Brien turned. There, not looking a day older when he’d last seen him, still in the now very out-of-date uniform, stood Captain Sisko.

“Well, Chief. It’s time for things to start making sense again. And I’m going to need your help.”

The End

—

For more DS9 fanfic, check out Caitlin, Jake, and Ames’s stories from this round of Tales from the Holodeck! And be sure to keep listening to new episodes every Thursday on SoundCloud, follow us on Facebook and Twitter, and stay out of brain jail if you can. Jay-sus.

#star trek #star trek deep space 9 #ds9 #fanfic #star trek fanfiction #ds9 fanfiction #weyoun #ee'char #miles o'brien #garak #hard time

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grimoire-of-geekery · 3 years

Text

Embrace the Mythic: an Enchantment for 2021

“YOU NEED TO BELIEVE IN THINGS THAT AREN’T TRUE. HOW ELSE CAN THEY BECOME?” ― Death, from Terry Pratchett's “Hogfather” (image is the winterized Mildred Payne’s Masquerade spread I designed a couple years ago)

I was listening to a conversation between some witches a few days ago, wherein they were arguing about whether or not gods were real. Their debate was getting very heated, so I had to ask them, “have any of you ever interacted with a deity?”

Two of the debaters said no, and then a third said “that’s not the point.” I asked her what her idea of the point was, and she said “just because one has an experience doesn’t mean what one is experiencing is objectively real.” She went on to talk to me about how they were debating the objective reality of gods, not the subjective reality, and... well, I suddenly remembered this scene from the Hogfather where the wizards were talking about belief and gods and other things, and that very discussion suddenly made little deities appear.

I felt like that was a silly fight for witches to have. Are there benevolent forces which rule over creation? Entities with intelligence and agenda who guide our fates and make the world what it is?

That’s not a question I think any of us can answer in a way that others can make use of. I can tell people over and over, I’ve interacted with deities, I’ve talked to them and seen their handiwork in this world. Until they experience that, it’s completely unhelpful for them to hear such from me. Consider: if gods do exist, and this one guy gets to interact with them all the time, but this other guy has never heard nor seen nor felt any sign of gods, what makes the first guy so special, or the second guy so unworthy?

Plenty of fights have been born out of this particular question, and no small few wars.

I think this is why so much of the Craft is hidden behind the whole “To Be Silent” edict. What I experience is valid, but it’s for me, not for anyone else. My responsibility as I see it isn’t to tell people about it. My responsibility, answerable to nothing less and nothing more than my self and my heart, is to become it. I think that’s the role of the witch, to become the gateway through which dreams enter this world and become flesh.

I don’t think I’ve ever met a person who called themselves a witch who thought of it as just a name for a hobby or career, like “engineer” or “painter” or “cyclist.” Most people I meet who call themselves by those labels tend to invest in them a lot too, I suppose.

My point is, taking up a label means making it a part of one’s identity, and I think everyone knows on some level that it’s a big step, an important one.

Calling oneself a witch is unique, but in nuance mostly. An engineer is no less special than a chemist, a mapmaker, a singer, a chef. In Abrahamic myth, that knowledge and skill was taught by angels to mankind. In Ireland, most of the myths about gods and heroes define those figures through their skills and professions.

“Witch” is another profession, and I think it’s supposed to be a sacred one, a hallowed one. I think all professions and skillsets should be venerated, no matter what they are. It’s my feeling that the thing many of us search for our whole lives is how to embrace the sanctity of our own nature, and the path we’ve chosen.

Sanctity isn’t just about goodness, it’s about purity, commitment to one’s core nature and one’s virtue. That’s a big thing in witchcraft- accessing and working with virtue. In fact, I would say it’s central to our purpose.

The thing is, witches don’t always have gods or tutelary spirits. “Yeah, secular witchcraft!” I hear people say.

No, actually, after a long time thinking about it, I don’t think so. It’s not that I think one needs to be religious to be a witch, and obey or follow or worship or even engage with gods (although frankly, that’s not my personal practice, and I dunno how some witches manage to avoid them). Nor is it that I think secular witchcraft doesn’t work.

It’s that so far as I can tell, the sacred and mythic center witches need to find, and honor, is ourselves and those like us. In my experience, the Craft is about connection, intimacy, bringing forth that which lies across the barrier and communing with it. By its nature, it’s about making significant the bonds between things, and interacting with them.

Regardless of how one views one’s witchcraft though, we wouldn’t fight so hard to defend our views if we didn’t consider them sacred, at least to us. Maybe we consider our beliefs and our disbelief sacred, maybe we consider our ideas sacred, maybe we just consider the work sacred. Whatever it is, we have a special place for it in our hearts, and I think that’s right and necessary.

This year, I am going to focus on embracing the mythic. I’m going to focus on embodying the Mysteries I work with, embracing the very sacred and larger-than-life nature of what I am and call myself. I’m going to take everything seriously, and elevate the joy of things without profaning them. No mockery, no snark, no snideness. I’m aiming for the mythic. I’ll leave the puerile and the salty behind me, and just focus on the sacred and deep.

To all of you who wanted more from your holidays, your spiritual practice, your magic, your gods, yourself this year- I offer this. If you promise me that you’ll look in a mirror and remind yourself daily to embrace the mythic and the sacred, I’ll work magic with you to bring goodness into your life, to banish the profane and bring about the sacred. If you make yourself a door, I’ll send you gifts through it.

Celebrate holidays, either traditional ones or ones you invent yourselves, but do it in earnest.

Talk to your gods if you have them, yell at them even if necessary, but do so with the absolute certainty that you’re someone they have to answer.

Cast your spells, and decide to proceed as if nothing profane or unaligned can affect or influence them.

Sanctify your self-care with a dedication, and treat it as an unassailable spell of protection and healing which is all the more potent because you invented it.

Make stuff, and don’t be concerned with whether or not it’s “good enough.” It’s good enough, because you made it, it’s basically a holy artifact!

2020 was an ordeal, a crucible, and we’ve survived. That’s the stuff of legend, y’all. Let’s all tell the myth of ourselves, and those who have departed, and those who still stand with us. We’ve got this, all of us, and whatever happens from here on out, it’s part of the Myth of Us.

May we all have a happy New Year, and may the stories and legends around us begin to unfold in wonder and joy. So Mote It Be.

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