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kimjoongs · 4 years

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—ateez college au series [cs]

i imagine san to be a photography major

he has a very creative eye and looks at the world through a different kind of lens than everyone else

he’s been interested in photography ever since he middle school when he went to a photography exhibit on a field trip

san is a very expressive person and he wanted to somehow transfer his emotions into something tangible

and what better way to do that than through photography?

san has two cameras: film and digital

in high school, he didn’t have enough money to buy a professional camera so he just stuck to his phone camera

but when he got a job and collected enough money, he went and bought his first camera, the film one

you best bet san treasured it more than anything

he tried his best not to use it as much because there’s only a limited number of film and buying more was e x p e n s i v e

but when san graduated high school his parents gifted him with a digital camera too

wherever san goes, he’s always taking pictures, whether it’s on his phone or cameras

he usually uses his film camera for more personal things, like pictures of his family, friends, or places that are important to him, and he either hangs them up in his apartment or turn them in for assignments

and he uses his digital camera for editing purposes, like double exposure or halftones

his roommate, wooyoung, serves as his personal model from time to time

“hey wooyoung stand by that tree for a sec, i wanna get a picture” “omg wooyoung wait sit still, the lighting is so good here” “WOOYOUNG GET YOUR ASS OUTSIDE IT’S GOLDEN HOUR”

wooyoung is annoyed bc of this sometimes, but as soon as he takes one look at his roommate eagerly bouncing on the tips of his toes, camera clutched in his hands, he can’t bring himself to be upset about it

also the one time san submitted a photo of wooyoung for an assignment he received a perfect score on it so—

one time wooyoung asked san if he ever modeled for his own photos, and san said he’d much rather be behind the camera than in front of it

except for the photos his parents made him take when he was a kid, san never really liked having his picture taken

he always felt more comfortable taking someone else’s

oh and also because san doesn’t let a n y o n e touch his cameras, not even wooyoung

there was a time where wooyoung offered to take san’s photo for him and he practically leaped away when wooyoung reached for his camera

everyone in the fine arts building knows who san is because he’s always running around taking pictures

their campus always has a bunch of stray cats wandering around, and if photography wasn’t san’s weakness, then it was cats

“omg wooyoung look there’s a cat i need to take a picture of it—” “san you’ve already taken twenty pictures of the same cat, let’s go before we’re late to class”

san is also such a friendly and gentle soul, so it wasn’t hard for him to charm all of his professors

one professor in particular became really fond of san because he reminds him of himself when he was younger

he became sort of a father figure to san and even offered to give san tips on how to take better photos

he also gave san permission to go into the darkroom after class hours or on the weekends should he need them

you can imagine how much san took advantage of that (in a good way ofc)

if san wasn’t running around taking pictures, then he was probably in the darkroom developing them

for a few months, san was pretty much the only person who used the darkroom after hours, so he never really bothered knocking on the door before entering

but the one time he didn’t, he almost ran into someone on the way in

at the sight of someone else in the darkroom, san let out the loudest shriek, jumping backwards and hitting the door

you flinched at san’s shriek and stumbled backwards, catching yourself by grabbing onto the edge of a table

for a minute, the two of you just stared at each other, still in shock

san snapped out of it first

“oh my gosh, i am so sorry. i didn’t mean to scare you. i thought no one else was in here, ahh so sorry i should’ve knocked”

your heart rate finally went down to normal, and you straightened yourself up, giving the sheepish boy in front of you a gentle smile

“no it’s okay, don’t worry about it.”

san practically sighed in relief when he saw that you weren’t mad at him “well, now that we’ve officially scared the crap out of each other—” he stuck his hand out, flashing you a dimpled smile “i’m san, it’s nice to meet you”

your lips quirked up and you took his hand in yours, shaking it firmly “i’m y/n, it’s nice to meet you too”

and that was how san, a photography major, met you, also a photography major

apparently the two of you had managed to charm the same professor, and he gave the both of you access to the darkroom

you found out that san lived in the same apartment building as you, you being on the 3rd floor and him on the 2nd

the two you became fast friends due to your shared love photography

during visitation hours, you’ll either be in his apartment or he’ll be in yours

wooyoung, who isn’t a photography major, sometimes looks at the two you with the most confused expression because you guys will start firing off, using terminology that he doesn’t understand

sometimes if it gets too much, he’ll call yeosang and beg him to get him out of there

one time when you came over, you noticed the wall above san’s desk was practically covered in pictures

most of it was of people whom you assumed were san’s family, but you noticed wooyoung in a few of them, and then there were 6 other boys pictured too whom you weren’t quite familiar with

“hey san, are these friends of yours?” you asked

san looked up to where you were pointing, and his expression immediately softened

“yeah, that’s the gang. i use that wall to hang pictures of the people who are important to me”

your eyes widened, you weren’t expecting san to share that personal piece of info with you, but it made your heart warm nonetheless

“you’re such a sap san,” you teased, poking him in the arm

he rolled his eyes at you playfully, shoving your shoulder gently “shut up and get back to editing your photos”

for the next few months, your friendship with san grew tenfold

the two of you would often meet up after class just to hang out or grab some food

you both began to value the other’s opinion and would sometimes email or show each other photos you each took, asking what the other thought of it

you thought that having another person aside from a professor view your work, especially someone as passionate as san, made you improve

san always gave you his honest opinion, even if it wasn’t what you wanted to hear, but you were grateful nonetheless

one day, san was given a project by one his professors to photograph the same person or object for a whole month

and usually san would go and ask wooyoung, but he decided to change it up this time

so one day when the two of you were having lunch, san turned to look at you, his face set in a serious expression

“y/n, i have a very, very important question to ask you”

you raised your eyebrow at him, not used to seeing san’s face so serious

“what is it?” you asked, sitting up straight

“so i have a major assignment for class where i need to take pictures of the same person or object for an entire month, and i was wondering...if you wouldn’t mind being that person?”

your eyes widened, and san took this as a bad sign because his face immediately went from being serious to panicked “of course i’m not going to force you if you don’t want to!”

san looked up at you, patiently waiting for your response

it’s not that you didn’t want to, it’s just... “why me?” you asked

one corner of san’s lips quirked upwards, making his dimple appear

“why not?” he replied

“i’ve just...i’ve never really modeled for someone else’s pictures before,” you said sheepishly

san waved a hand at you “you don’t have to worry about that. trust me, i’ll make you look absolutely breathtaking” he flashed you a playful wink, and you rolled your eyes

“okay fine, i’ll do it”

and for the next two weeks, san has been snapping pictures of you left and right

most of the pictures he took were candid pictures, which you didn’t mind...until he took a picture of you eating your sandwich mid-bite

“san delete that right now!”

“nah y/n, i’m putting this in the blackmail folder”

“CHOI SAN”

tbh you thought being san’s model would feel awkward, but he actually made you feel super comfortable

he would always tell you that you were doing great, giving you a thumbs up after every picture that was taken

you enjoyed having san be your hype man, he made you feel really confident in yourself

during one of your sessions, san wanted to get a few posed pictures instead of candid, so he took you to one of the open fields on campus

it was the middle of autumn so the trees were a beautiful shade of bright oranges, maroons, and vivid yellows

san told you to stand underneath one of the trees

“okay so for this one, i want you to look away from the camera, and i’ll snap a couple photos, yeah?”

you nodded your head and proceeded to pose against the tree, eyes focusing on anything except the camera

meanwhile, san was moving back and forth and side to side, trying to capture multiple angles, some close up and some farther away

“alright y/n, for these next ones i want you to stare directly in the camera. you can choose whether to smile or not, okay?”

san readied himself, placing the viewfinder over his right eye

through it he could see you, still posing nearby the tree

however, san’s many years of experience with photography wasn’t enough to prepare him for what was to happen next

because as soon as your eyes made contact with the camera, there was a soft gust of wind, soft enough to carry a few fallen leaves and have them float around you

caught off guard by the sudden flurry of leaves, a quiet gasp left your lips, and then your eyes scrunched together as you let out the softest giggle

and then click

san’s finger froze on the shutter button, his mouth gaping slightly

he slowly lowered the camera from his face, eyes glazed over and mouth still open

you hadn’t noticed him take the picture, too focused on playing with the leaves flying around you

san tore his eyes away from you for just a moment, glancing down at his camera to check the picture he just took

what he saw made him choke on his breath

because there you were

he captured the picture at the exact moment you had burst into a bout of giggles, the multi-colored leaves were blurred near the edges, framing your face perfectly

the sun hit the surface of your skin perfectly, highlighting your features

your eyes were scrunched shut and your lips were quirked up, displaying the most perfect smile

for the first time in his, choi san was rendered...speechless

he had never seen something so...so...beautiful

“san?” your voice knocked him out of his stupor, and he whipped his head up to look at you, only to be rendered speechless again

you were staring at him with the softest of gazes, a gentle, serene smile on your lips

“how’d the picture look?” you asked curiously

san didn’t say anything, but his mind was racing with a billion thoughts

his lack of a response made you nervous, and you frowned “did...did it not turn out well? was it because i wasn’t looking? i’m sorry i can take it again if—”

“no!” san interrupted, standing up quickly

“no y/n, it was...it was perfect,” he breathed out

the look on his face and the tone of his voice were enough to make your cheeks flush a deep, deep red

you’ve never seen or heard san sound like that

it almost seemed like he was...he was...

“o-oh, do you mind if i see it then?” you asked, taking a small step towards him

san had allowed you to see the pictures, and you were amazed at how well they turned out

you turned to san and gave him a playful smile “wow, you were right. you did make me look ‘absolutely breathtaking’”

you were expecting san to scoff or say smth along the lines of “i told you so”

but he didn’t

instead he looked at you with the most sincere expression on his face, and he said “no, you did that on your own”

the sky was beginning to darken, so the two of you decided to head back to your apartments, bidding each other goodbye at the elevator

as soon as san reached his apartment, he practically shoved the door open and ran inside, scaring the shit out of poor wooyoung who was watching a movie in the living room

san didn’t even bother sending his roommate a greeting, opting to flee to his own room instead and slamming the door shut

he immediately whipped out his camera, took out the memory card, and inserted it into his laptop

the pictures he took of you earlier popped up on the screen, and san’s eyes immediately scanned for the one he wanted

once he found it, he enlarged the photo and, for the third time that day, choi san was rendered speechless

his chest began to hurt, and he reached up, clutching at the fabric of his sweater right above his heart

now...san had always had an inkling in his mind that he may have the tiniest crush on you

but he always waved it off, claiming that he just really liked you as a friend

but after what happened today, he can finally confirm it

choi san liked you

and they weren’t the trivial kind, the ones that lasted for only a moment and left soon after

no, these feelings burned with longing

but unlike most people, those who chose to deny their feelings and keep it to themselves, san was the complete opposite

he wasn’t the type to shy away from something, or in this case someone, who made him feel such strong emotions

he was going to do something about it...and he knew exactly how to do it

for the remaining weeks left in the month, san still took pictures of you for the assignment

but it was different this time

instead of his usual loud exclamations he used to hype you up, it was replaced with the fond smiles and eyes practically dripping with adoration

you didn’t know how to feel about this new development, but that didn’t mean you didn’t like it

it was nearing the end of the month, which meant that san’s project was reaching its end too

the two of you were having lunch together, just chatting about random things, when san suddenly pulled out a slip of paper from his pocket, handing it to you

“what’s this?” you asked, taking the slip of paper and reading it

“it’s an invitation. my class is putting on an exhibit to showcase the photos we’ve taken the past month, but it’s a private event so only people who were given invitations are allowed in.” san leaned forward, gazing at you with a soft twinkle in his eye

“will you go?” he asked

you nodded, smiling “of course, i’ve been waiting to see how the pictures turned out!”

san laughed at your enthusiasm, but he could feel the pounding of his heart going a mile a minute

a few days later was when the exhibition took place, and you arrived at the gallery, decked out in the fanciest clothes you could find

after the guard checked over your invitation, you walked inside and was surprised at the sheer number of people who were present

you looked around, searching for the familiar dimpled smile you’ve grown very fond of

“well, well, well look who finally showed up”

your face broke out into a smile when you saw wooyoung walk up to, dressed in a fitted button up with black slacks

“damn woo, first time seeing you in something other than a hoodie and sweats,” you teased,

wooyoung rolled his eyes in response, but he held out his hand for you

“come on, sannie is waiting for you”

you happily placed your hand in his, eager to see san’s display, and wooyoung couldn’t help but chuckle at your enthusiasm

he led you around the exhibit, carefully maneuvering around the large clumps of people until he finally stopped at a door

wooyoung opened it and gently tugged on your arm, moving your body in front of his

you looked over your shoulder at him, confusion written all over your face “wooyoung what are you—”

but before you could finish your sentence, wooyoung shoved you the rest of the way in the room, flashing you a wink before closing the door, leaving you standing in the darkness

“wha—jung wooyoung!” you reached for the doorknob, about to yank the door open

when the lights in the room suddenly switched on

you gasped, stepping back from the door and whipping your body around

what you saw made you freeze

because displayed on the walls of the room were blown up pictures of you

some were candid, and some were posed

it took you a second, but then you realized: these were the pictures san took of your for his project

you carefully walked towards one of the pictures posted on the wall

you remembered when it was taken; it was when you and san went to a cat cafe near the school

you were sitting at one of the tables, playing with a cat that decided to jump up on your lap

san thought it would be the perfect opportunity to snap a picture of that moment, and so he did

as you walked around, the memories of the past month with san started coming back to you

once you reached the middle of the room, you noticed a picture that was significantly larger than the rest

you let out a soft gasp

it was the picture san took of you in front of the tree a few weeks ago

you could hardly believe that the person in the photo was you

“which one’s your favorite?”

jumping at the sound of an oh so familiar voice, you peered over your shoulder only to see san leaning against one of the walls

he was decked out in an outfit similar to wooyoung’s, with his hair slicked back

needless to say...he looked amazing

you breathed out a laugh, fully turning around to look at him “it’s hard to choose. i just look amazing in every single one”

san’s smirk softened into a smile, and he pushed himself off the wall, making his way towards you

“which one’s your favorite sannie?” you asked

san bit his lip, cocking his head to the side

“hmm...i’d have to say all of them”

you giggled “is that so? why do you say that?”

san glanced over at you, and you almost choked on your breath at the look on his face

it was the same look he always gave you from behind the camera: pure, pure, pure adoration

you’d be lying if you said your heart wasn’t racing a mile a minute

san reached over, taking your hand in his and locking your fingers together

your eyes widened

san took a small step towards you, internally sighing with relief when you didn’t back away

you just stood there, waiting to see what he was about to do next

“they’re all my favorite because....” another step closer “...because you’re in them”

and that was the exact moment your heart stopped

san chuckled softly at your frozen state, and he brought your joined hands up to his lips, pressing a soft kiss on the top of yours

you swore your legs were about to give up

“people are about to come in any second now to see my display, but if you’re willing to wait for me until after, then i have something really important to tell you,” san said

you were at a loss for words, your mind stuck trying to process everything that just happened in a span of two minutes

just as san let go of your hand, the door to the room opened and wooyoung’s head popped in

“hey san, are you ready? people are waiting”

flashing you one more smile, san swiftly turned on his heel and nodded, gesturing for wooyoung to let people in

as soon as the crowd started filtering into the room, you were broken out of your frozen state by wooyoung gently pulling you to the other side of the room

and for the rest of the night, you stood in the back corner with wooyoung, quietly watching san walk around and the room and chatting with the people as they observed his work

you admit you were kind of embarrassed at the amount of people who were just staring at your pictures posted on the wall

wooyoung would notice and he’d tease you about it

after a while, the exhibition finally came to an end

wooyoung had left a few minutes earlier, which left only you and san in the room

as san made his way over to you, you averted your eyes to the ground, suddenly feeling awkward

but then you saw san extend his hand out towards you

“let’s talk outside,” he said softly, quietly encouraging you when you were hesitant to take his hand

once the two of you were outside, san led you to a nearby bench

despite his confidence from earlier, you could tell san was nervous now, from the way he was biting his lip and fiddling with your hand, which he was still holding

you waited patiently for him to speak, choosing to ignore the way your heart was about to explode inside your chest

after a few moments, san took a deep breath and looked directly into your eyes

“y/n...you know how much our friendship means to me right? when you and i first became friends, i was so happy to have finally met someone who shares the same love and passion for photography as i do. i truly enjoyed every moment we hung out together, and i especially enjoyed having you as my model for my project...”

he squeezed your hand, and you squeezed his back, urging him to continue

“and during the entire month where we spent every single day together, it made me realize that...i wanted us to be something more than...more than just friends. so what i’m trying to say is, i really really like you y/n, and i was wondering if we could give ‘us’ a try?”

it was completely silent for a few moments, but as san gazed at you with the most hopeful look on his face, and you couldn’t help but let out a breathless laugh

you honestly didn’t know what you were feeling, all you knew was that it was warm and comforting and that the only person who could make you feel that way was...san

“choi san, you are just as expressive with your words as you are with your photos,” you laughed, and you swore you’ve never seen him smile so big

“s-so does that mean...?” he trailed off

you smiled back at him, squeezing his hand once more “yes san, i am willing to give us a try”

now let’s just say, being in a relationship with choi san was so...refreshing

in the beginning of, you were kind of worried that things were going to change between the two of you

but when you saw san the next day, he greeted you with his usual sunshiney smile and that’s when you knew things were only going to get better from that point on

san is normally very touchy, but now that the two of you were dating, he became extra touchy

whenever the two of you are together, he’ll always have an arm around your shoulder or waist, or he’ll be holding your hand

he just feels more at ease if he’s holding onto some part of you

but of course he’d stop if you told him you were uncomfortable

also san would take a picture of you every chance he could get

the camera roll in his phone would just be pictures of you

he even made his own folder with just your pictures but would he ever tell you??? psshh no

one time wooyoung caught a glimpse of it and he snatched the phone out of san’s hand so quick, yelling that he was going to show you

when you came by their apartment that day, you walked in on the two of them in the middle of a wrestling match

wooyoung managed to toss the phone to you, and you caught it, checking to see what the two of them were fighting about

once you saw what it was, you blushed so hard and san groaned in defeat, rolling off of wooyoung and onto the floor

as you scrolled through the folder, you started to pout

“saaaan some of these are so ugly why do you still have them?”

your boyfriend whipped his head up so fast, and he had the most offended look on his face

“excuse me?? are you doubting my photography skills?”

you shoved the phone in his face “san this is literally a blurry picture of me mid-sneeze how could this possibly look good?”

but what he doesnt know is that you also have your own folder on your phone with just pictures of him in it

omg when the professor found out that the two of you were dating, the hugest grin broke out on his face and he was just oh so happy his two favorite students were together

when you and san are in the darkroom together, he’ll sometimes walk up behind you and just wrap his arms around you while you were developing your pictures

you’d always complain, claiming that he was distracting you, but tbh you secretly enjoyed it

you and san haven’t had your first kiss with each other yet, and that was because you were both too hesitant to be the one to make the move first

until one night

san had invited you to his apartment for a movie marathon since wooyoung was spending the night at yeosang’s

whilst san was getting the tv set up, you were sitting on the chair at his desk, mindlessly just looking around

you’ve been in san’s room countless times at this point, and pretty much everything looked the same since the last time you’ve been in there

but when you looked up at the wall above his desk, the same wall where san hung up a bunch of pictures of his friends and family, you noticed that there was an extra picture right in the center

your heart skipped a beat when you realized that it was the same picture san took months ago, the one where you were standing underneath the tree

you remembered what san had told you the first time you asked about the wall: “i use that wall to hang pictures of the people who are important to me”

san was too busy fidgeting with the tv to notice the look of pure joy on your face

“okay everything’s set up,” he turned towards you “y/n what movie do you wanna—mmph!”

san’s question was cut off by you throwing yourself into his arms and slamming your lips into yours

he staggered backwards, caught off guard

san was frozen for a few seconds, but then he relaxed and began to kiss you back

it was your first kiss with him and vice versa, and you could practically feel your heart getting ready to burst

when the two of you pulled away, san leaned his forehead against yours, a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips

“not that i’m complaining, but what was that for?”

you smiled at him “i’m just happy that i’m worthy enough to be put on your wall”

san’s face dawned with realization and he let out a breathy chuckle, tugging you closer to him and wrapping you up in a hug

“you were always worthy enough, it just took me stupidly long to realize it”

oh yeah san loves that picture of you so much that he made it his lockscreen and wooyoung wouldn’t stop teasing him about it for weeks

ofc you made him your lockscreen too

now don’t get me wrong, san is the absolute best hype man you could ever ask for

but sometimes a hype man needs their own hype man

so on days where san isn’t feeling like his usual cheerful self, you step up

now you’re the one feeding him compliments and giving him the warmest hugs

and when that doesn’t work, one of san’s weaknesses is kisses so you’ll cup his face in your hands and just plant the tiniest kisses on his cheeks, nose, chin, forehead, and eyes

it usually gets him in a giddy mood and he’ll eventually start giggling halfway through

when you see him crack that first smile, you get all excited and he just stares at you with the fondest expression on his face

san also likes it when you play with his hair, so he’ll lay his head on your lap and that’s when you know to just weave your fingers through his dark strands, occasionally massaging his scalp

you laugh because san reminds you of a cat whenever he lays on you

speaking of cats, the two of you practically adopted all of the cats that wander around campus

the two of you are honestly just so domestic and soft, everyone at your university practically melts when they see the two of you walking around holding hands

overall just a wholesome wholesome relationship

#ateez #ateez scenarios #ateez headcanons #ateez au #ateez imagines #san #san scenarios #san headcanons #san au #san imagines #san fluff #college au series

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dreamersleeps · 3 years

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So, as someone whose father is very similar to Endeavor, I've never understood the notion that Horikoshi is trying to whitewash or excuse his abuse by giving him a character arc. Abusers are awful people, but it's not often that they're one-dimensional villains. Nobody ever talks about how confusing it is when your abuser wakes up and sees the damage they've caused, much less when they clumsily try to make ammends. It seems fans would rather it all be simple, when it's anything but in reality

/2 Are there ways it can be handled better? Of course. But a writer making an effort to explore the complexities of abuse through all its angels is far from abuse apology. It’s much more respectful (imo) to treat the situation like the confusing, complicated mess it is in reality, rather than reduce it to some simple cartoonishly evil bullshit that either limits the survivors of his abuse to being lifelong victims, or enables the continued abuse perpetuated by a former victim (i.e., Dabi)

Hello, I’d like to thank you for sharing your thoughts and opinions. I was actually surprised to open up Tumblr to see your messages in my inbox. I spent the past couple of days sitting on and thinking about it. I’m not sure if you were asking for my thoughts and opinions, but I’ve finally sat down and written my response. It’s late at night so I apologize if there are any statements below that are poorly worded or expressed.

As you express, it’s a very complicated topic as a whole, because Endeavor, or Todoroki Enji is a complicated character.

I can not and will not claim that I understand abuse like those who have experienced it. Additionally, It’s not in my place to tell people how to feel or think. However in response to what you shared, I will give some of my thoughts as a reader and fan of BNHA on the topics surrounding Endeavor. (Btw to the anon: some of what I have to say below will be my general opinions about the topic as a whole.)

When I try to write meta and other analysis pieces, I try my best to go back to the manga and base my analysis and arguments on the (official) translations instead of my opinions and thoughts from the beginning. I sometimes have to go back and re-read chapters to remind myself what is “canon” and then try to understand and express my interpretations on the matter. This is not to talk down on those who do not do this: this is just something I do for myself. I am most definitely influenced greatly by what others have to say but I also want to figure out my own interpretation of the story and characters.

So, as someone whose father is very similar to Endeavor, I’ve never understood the notion that Horikoshi is trying to whitewash or excuse his abuse by giving him a character arc.

I personally never really saw it as Horikoshi trying to excuse Endeavor’s abuse by giving him a character arc as well. As many others have stated, I don’t see it as a “redemption arc,” because it isn’t.

I think that we all have to remember the diversity of the fans and readers of this and other fandoms. There are those who can personally relate to or understand what the Todoroki family has gone through, and others who are unable to. Those who are unable to fully understand certain experiences but can sympathize with the characters however even then, this lack of knowledge or exposure to the topic has led to people accidently expressing opinions that hurt or offended others. Additionally, based on what I’ve seen and read on Tumblr, there is quite a wide range of differing viewpoints from those those who can relate to the experiences of the Todoroki family.

Abusers are awful people, but it’s not often that they’re one-dimensional villains. Nobody ever talks about how confusing it is when your abuser wakes up and sees the damage they’ve caused, much less when they clumsily try to make amends. It seems fans would rather it all be simple, when it’s anything but in reality.

Abuse is complex. There is a very wide range of complicated feelings, emotions, thoughts and opinions that surround it. Everyone has a reason as to why they feel or think the way they do. Because we all have had different experiences and reactions to the events of our lives, we can not expect everyone to think similarly.

Given that BNHA or shounen manga in general is catered towards a younger audience (compared to, lets say seinen manga) and Horikoshi is working with topics that are difficult to read or understand even for adults, I’d argue that part of the discourse may result from that.

It seems like when we say that we like a certain character, people tend to automatically assume then that we approve of what they stand for and what they’ve done. I first watched the first two seasons of BNHA before I began reading it. I absolutely hated Endeavor in the beginning, however after I caught up in the manga and began to follow the chapter releases each week, ultimately the characters that really pulled me in to the story was Endeavor, Hawks, and Bakugou, arguably some of the most controversial characters of the series.

Are there ways it could be handled better? Of course. But a writer making an effort to explore the complexities of abuse through all its angles is far from abuse apology. It’s much more respectful (imo) to treat the situation like the confusing, complicated mess it is in reality, rather than reduce it to some simple cartoonishly evil bullshit that either limits the survivors of his abuse to being lifelong victims, or enables the continued abuse perpetuated by a former victim (i.e Dabi)

What truly drew me in was the complexities that came with their characters. I haven’t personally experienced abuse however I have lived through other experiences to recognize in my own understanding that life is both so negatively and positively complicated, confusing and messy. Some people want to see Endeavor fall, and others hope to see him actually change. These wishes are shaped by what we’ve seen or experienced throughout life.

We like simple, clear cut, perhaps one dimensional characters because it’s easier to form an opinion about them. It seems like we struggle with characters like Endeavor and others because we are sometimes faced with the contradicting collision of our own thoughts, morals and beliefs with the actions and story of these characters.

For some reason a lot of my analysis posts have revolved around Endeavor, Hawks, and Dabi and if anyone is interested, I personally believe that as much as we may love a character, whoever it may be, actions should and will be met with consequences. Tragedy does not excuse one’s actions. They may explain one’s actions but we are responsible for and should be held accountable for the consequences that result from it.

If anyone was thinking it, this all does not mean that I think Horikoshi should be exempt from critique. And as you ask and answer, “Are there ways it could be handled better? Of course.” Additionally as I have written on the top of my blog,

There will be posts found here that you may not agree with, however different perspectives are what keeps the meta conversation going.

I think that many of us would prefer it if people would refrain from accusing, insulting or bullying Horikoshi and other fans because of their thoughts and opinions. Although it is understandable that it is difficult when we respond to the story and others emotionally, taking part in these types of activities is not the same as critiquing something.

Boku no Hero Academia is still an ongoing manga. We get one chapter every one or two weeks at a time and so we only get little snippets of the full story. Based on new info and what we’ve read in past chapters, we make predictions, assumptions and have expectations about the future. However, I think that we all have to remember that the story of Enji, Rei, Touya, Fuyumi, Natsuo and Shouto is not complete yet. We are still in the midst of an unfolding narrative that Horikoshi is working closely with to present his readers.

#endeavor #todoroki enji #thoughts #cw abuse #luna answers

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blakegallo · 3 years

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i feel like of all the teased disney+ marvel shows that were announced way back when i was really only excited about wandavision. i’ve loved wanda since age of ultron, i thought she had a ton of potential. i think that wandavision explored that the most. at least in a sense that didn’t rely on her being the big guns to turn a fight in favor of her side. [ tho who is exactly meant to be able to take her on is never clear to me. people have just been lucky that she’s not really a combat person, so like okay. ]

my issue with wandavision from the jump was how they used the sitcom as the framing device, especially the first two episodes that were largely just sitcoms that sorta introduced hints that there was something larger at play, but that’s already two episodes out of nine that establish where we are sure, but also limit the remaining time to tell this story that is is so crucial to the mcu that both doctor strange and the multiverse of madness + spider-man: no way home are tied to it. it’s a show that’s not unimportant in nature and that was announced going in.

the show has now gone on to give us two episodes of flashback context 1.03 gave us the s.w.o.r.d. stuff [ and also killed off maria rambeau... bc i guess we can’t have nice things? ] and now 1.07 gave us some agatha context + a series of clips that partially retconned info we had prior to wandavision but also gave us more of an understanding of how the Hex came to be.

the more they explain about the hex and about wanda though the less things start to make sense for me. in wanda the mindstone seemed to unlock great potential and she saw a vision of the scarlet witch, which is apparently a witch legend???? okay. fascinating. though why that vision of the scarlet witch would resemble the costume from the comics when in the show they made that same costume that of a “sokovian fortune teller” [ i’m not going to get into how elizabeth gave interviews slurring romani people bc i’m not equipped to have that discussion. i understand what the costume was supposed to be and how it’s a problem ]. that’s a choice™. but also the implication that it unlocked potential in wanda, but killed everyone else, but also gave pietro his powers seems to be laying the work to retcon wanda as a mutant, which again doesn’t seem to make sense to me now that you’ve introduced agatha. i guess wanda was a mutant in the comics with her witchy ways, but why have wanda be a mutant if she’s not the daughter of magneto and after having to watch her parents die i’m not sure i want those people to be retconned out of existence either. i dunno, but before this show i would have thought that such a retcon wouldn’t happen and now i wouldn’t be surprised at all.

back to the witch thing. i think that after the first doctor strange came out is when kevin said that what wanda was doing was magic, but she wasn’t as trained in it and that was why her powers appeared they way that they did. now we have agatha, who has been alive for like four fucking centuries and is clearly knowledgeable in what she is doing and her magic looks nothing like doctor strange’s magic and is just magenta wanda magic, so what’s the real story there? if anything that lends to the idea that stephen was out there in asia just appropriating and it’s more indicative of their way of practicing magic than anything to do with having less control. make it make sense kevin bc the math is not mathing,

the worst aspect of the show is hayward and his television level motives of trying to bring vision back to life. some people have suspected that this is how kevin feige could bring in sentinels into the mcu. my only exposure to them was in days of future past bc i’m not a comics person. i do not understand the obsession this man has with vision. i do not care about sentinels at all. i find the concept to be boring quite frankly. i do not care about a suit of armor surrounding the world. this world already tried that? what was age of ultron and tony’s iron legion if not the privatized version and if not for ulton we wouldn’t have need of the sokovia accords. for me this is retreading ground we’ve already done. i don’t care about them. i don’t really care about vision coming back to life as a tangent of this.

edited: to include this last little bit about hayward, that it makes no sense that hayward was able to track the radioactive decay of the vibranium if vision was simply an illusion that didn’t actually exist? like? i mean i guess you can do whatever you want in your own little fantasy world. in the context that hayward gave us, of wanda stealing the pieces of vision’s body it makes sense bc vagaries, but in the context that you have no idea that wanda has created vision until you can see the show why would you then think that that vision is also made of vibranium or that you could be able to track it if it you had all the pieces? but also if you have all the pieces what is the point of creating an all white model and tearing vision to pieces that don’t look like they can be reassembled? like? none this of this actually makes sense. most of all if you want actual sentient weapons, which is what the avengers are????? and like half of them signed the accords so like... this man is a made for tv villain.

so between the two episodes that were just straight sitcoms and the two flashbacks that leaves like 5 episodes of actual story content, and i won’t say that it’s all be lacking. [ i have quite enjoyed the monica rambeau content ] but so much of it is nods to things because the show is constrained into this odd short run time that for me really only proves that we coulda had wandavision the movie. the bits and pieces that were given to us here could have been a two hour and some change event that might’ve made more narrative sense and would have felt better than watching this show slowly become more of a let down for me personally for two months.

#wandavision #wandavision spoilers #spoilers #mcu spoilers #monte does life #i think i have all the right spoilers tags #so if this shows up for you i cannot help it

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dgrif · 4 years

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I just straight don’t vibe with people who act like they’re too good for tiktok skhbgskhgb cause like it’s literally for 1 of 2 reasons. either they’re judgmental towards gen z kids in a weird gen x era “I’m a millennial and kids these days are cringey and stupid” thing, or they are being xenophobic and hate it for being a “chinese app” and spread either conspiracy theories about it or hold it to higher standards than american apps that do the literal same thing

people complain about their censorship but we’ve run into the exact same things on other apps and STILL minority creators and communities are thriving in ways that frankly I think is stronger and better than any other app. (I’ve not seen youtube torn down a FRACTION as much for hiding lgbt content as much as tiktok has, and twitter was hiding blm stuff the same way at the same time and still only tiktok was blasted for it.)

letftist youth are getting together and pulling off some really incredible things on this app! unlike with text based conversations, I’m seeing more actual conversations being had by people doing educating, and frankly I’ve witnessed more kids being educated than pointless discourse and it’s SO refreshing. the same conversations on other social media returns fruitless discourse meanwhile I’ve watched ignorant kids learn and burn maga hats and trump flags they once had.

the way the left and specifically leftist youth are functioning and spreading info is the most informational and impacting I’ve ever seen! the first weeks of blm I saw more firsthand footage and proof of what was going on on just my fyp than I could find by tag searching on other sites.

and basic functionality is so good! the algorithm is good at figuring out what you like and can fill your feed with very specific things. like I’m not just on gay tiktok myself, it managed to put me specifically on goth/witch lesbian tiktok. and if you’re seeing a bunch of videos that don’t appeal to you, stick with it for a few days, find a creator or two you like and follow them, and your feed will literally change to suit you. to me there really is no replacing the ability to see specific content that’s tailored to me rather than relying solely on individual creators and hoping they don’t change their content, even though you can do specifically that too!. niche stuff becomes way more easily accessed, and community instantly came to me instead of the having to search it out.

like I have literally just never seen someone who genuinely used the app and then hated it for a reason that wasn’t either shitty or easily dealt with. my biggest support for using it was also the observation of my mental health as I switched between apps - I like to think I’m in good communities on every social media app I use; and yet the weeks I used twitter and tumblr much more often, my mental health took a spectacular dive. the weeks I used tiktok more dominanatly I was consistently more happy. the average gay experience on tiktok was seeing content generated by other gay users - meanwhile the gay experience on twitter and tumblr no matter how hard I try seems to be constant discourse and homophobic takes, even if it’s just exposure through arguments and callouts.

the way the app is set up, the time limitation on videos, the way that seeing people talk rather than a random icon and username type things, I think it all adds up to better, more concise experience where a lot of it is educational in an accessible way and not overrun with adds or clickbait bc videos aren’t monetized like youtube, it limits discourse and shitty behavior towards others because it’s reminding people that the people on the other side of the screen are PEOPLE, and it’s the most in touch with current events and real life bc a lot of it is videoing or talking about actual real life shit rather than focusing on cultivating an online exclusive experience.

like blanket statement? I think it’s shaping up to be healthier and more positive and impacting than other social media sites as a whole and I’m sick of hearing either generational boohooing or xenophobia as the excuse to hate it. if you don’t do either of those things and stilll hate it? tbh I think you just don’t know how to use it.

edit: someone pointed out sensitivity issues which is TRUE and VALID and i honestly can't believe i forgot, but also the reason i think i did: ppl with sensitivity issues are usually not complaining about tiktok or acting like they're too good for it, they just can't use it. not really the same thing

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pass-the-bechdel · 4 years

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Marvel Cinematic Universe: Avengers: Infinity War (2018)

Does it pass the Bechdel Test?

Yes, once.

How many female characters (with names and lines) are there?

Nine (25.71% of cast).

How many male characters (with names and lines) are there?

Twenty-six.

Positive Content Rating:

Three.

General Film Quality:

For a movie which is pretty much wall-to-wall fight scenes...I love it. I always start out going ‘maybe I overrate this movie, maybe it’s not as good as I remember’, but by the end, I’m right back in there.

MORE INFO (and potential spoilers) UNDER THE CUT:

Passing the Bechdel:

Wanda apologises to Natasha for lying. It’s a close call.

Female characters:

Pepper Potts.

F.R.I.D.A.Y

Gamora.

Mantis.

Wanda Maximoff.

Natasha Romanoff.

Okoye.

Nebula.

Shuri.

Male characters:

Ebony Maw.

Thanos.

Thor.

Loki.

Heimdall.

Bruce Banner.

Stephen Strange.

Wong.

Tony Stark.

Peter Parker.

Ned.

Peter Quill.

Rocket.

Drax.

Groot.

Vision.

Steve Rogers.

Sam Wilson.

The Collector.

Thaddeus Ross.

James Rhodes.

T’Challa.

Bucky Barnes.

Eitri.

Red Skull.

M’Baku.

OTHER NOTES:

Heimdall had proven himself too much of an MVP in previous films to be allowed to live in this one. Bastards.

Heimdall and Loki, both dead before the opening titles. That’s how you know this movie means business, it’s not faking at high stakes.

I also am from space and have come here to steal a necklace from a wizard.

“Mr Stark, it smells like a new car in here!”

“All words are made up.”

Not gonna lie, when I saw this at the cinema and I realised that Captain America had arrived? My heart LEAPT. It was intense.

Depressed Thor is a great touch - after all previous films with Thor had him so bland, and then Ragnarok made him funny but essentially glossed over any of the difficult emotions it was dredging up, I’m glad to finally get something real and meaty from the character. If characters go through all manner of Hell and don’t show any signs of labouring under that weight, you’re doing character development wrong.

Nice callback with Red Skull.

The sacrifice of Gamora on Vormir is a really well-balanced piece; it was asking a lot, to make the emotion of it land despite how little of Thanos we’ve seen before, and without genuine emotion at it’s core it’s just the killing off of a female character for shock value. I feel like they got the pitch just right (most thanks to the music).

As much as I enjoy Thor and Rocket’s bantering, the side-quest for Stormbreaker feels like an unnecessary and over-the-top distraction in an already stuffed-full film. Easily the weakest part of the plot.

The fact that Quill fucks everything up with defeating Thanos on Titan because he can’t keep himself under control for two seconds certainly does not endear him to me in the slightest. Like ok, you’re upset, but if you can’t stop yourself from getting violent that’s on you, that makes you a dangerous person with serious issues, that’s not normal and it’s not ok. Also, literally half of all life in the universe was at stake. So there’s that.

Listen, I’m very susceptible to heroism (and that’s why superhero movies work for me), so every time someone comes to someone else’s rescue, I have feelings.

I had convinced myself that somehow, Thanos wouldn’t succeed with his whole plan in this movie, that he would get all the stones but that he would like, go to a special place or something before enacting his plan, so that the good guys would have a chance to regroup and race to stop him before it was too late, all that jazz. So (even though Thanos had already snapped at that point), when Bucky Barnes disintegrated before our very eyes, I was SHOCKED. That got me like a smack in the face.

Considering I’ve never really been a fan of Tom Holland’s Spider-man, it’s a credit to his work that Peter’s death scene is so effective. That’s acting.

So, what makes this movie work despite being so heavy with bombastic action? The short answer is: it’s because the good guys lose. I’ve made no secret of being a fan of the ‘hour darkest before the dawn’ in storytelling, so this is playing to the sweet spot for me there, but it’s not as simple as just making everything miserable and hopeless. In this case, specifically, the lead-up to that ultimate failure is key; it’s gotta still feel like a superhero extravaganza, even as it takes an increasingly dark turn. The action works because it’s part of what we signed up for (the best camouflage for subversions of the traditional model), and it works because it’s all carrying the story forward - the Infinity War is comprised of multiple battles, and because of the way the pieces of the narrative are separated, the characters don’t know how any of the other battles are turning out; everyone is just trying to fight what’s in front of them and defend the stone in their midst, they don’t have the option to sit around doom-and-glooming and restrategising as news of each defeat comes in. Rather than dragging us wholesale from Point A to B to C in ever-escalating stakes and complications, the writers have had the good sense to spread things out and let things fall apart for our heroes (and the universe) in multiple smaller pieces until they reach a cumulative critical mass. Consequently, instead of feeling as though we’re sitting there watching things go from bad to worse, the audience forms this false sense of security in the action; it’s a superhero movie, after all. We expect them to work it all out in the end, to build toward a moment of apparent hopelessness (a darkest hour before the dawn), and then to rally triumphantly for the big win. As such, we perceive small victories (i.e. the defeat of Thanos’ various ‘children’, the creation of Stormbreaker, the way things draw out in the battle on Titan) as if they are more significant, as if they are signs leading us to that big win; without those small, expected victories, the ultimate failure would not hit as hard, because after two and a half hours of watching the good guys get wrecked without a chance, what surprise would there be in the snap?

Of course, plenty of viewers knew about the snap already or expected an ultimate failure of some sort based on the fact that we pretty much all knew that this was the first half of our grand Avengers finale (my mother, who is not a superhero movie fan, did not know what she was getting into and was...very shocked), so it’s important that the film still works to engage us on a character level so that the good guys losing in the end can hit like a ton of bricks even if you knew it was coming (and even though you no doubt expected to get the big win eventually, once Endgame came out). After all the fighting and the bantering, all the usual stuff we expect to see our heroes go through in the course of an average adventure, having them then watch their beloved friends/allies/whatever literally disintegrate before their eyes in a quiet, drawn out scene of devastation is a magnificent piece of cinema, communicating the shock not only of the event itself, but of the complete disruption to the superhero status quo. It’s not just that good guys don’t lose like this, it’s that they don’t lose with a whimper instead of a a bang. It’s not only that the cost of failure has never been this high; it’s also that they have never been forced to watch it play out with such inevitability; they have never before been rendered so powerless. If the entire film had the tone of the last ten minutes, it wouldn’t work so well, it’d just be a drudge and the audience would be desensitised by the end. By the same token, if the rest of the film had not planted the seeds of the finale so thoroughly in all its smaller losses and smokescreen victories, the ending would not be so horrifically fitting.

Neither, of course, would the ending be so affecting, if we were not as attached to the characters as we are. We have many, many films worth of history with most of them, or at least one solid encounter in which to become attached, and even in a movie chock-full of more characters than any other before, everyone gets a chance to show their personality and remind us why we care if they live or die. I’m not going to argue for this being an incredible character piece (nor is it pretending to be one), but it plays its very large hand very well, putting emphasis where it needs to be without overloading or unbalancing the story. As I noted above, I was particularly impressed with the way Thanos was handled, considering our exposure to him previously was very minimal and it was left up the this film to build his ethos as well as his relationships with his ‘children’ almost from scratch, creating complexity and simplicity without falling into the trap of trying to make the villain sympathetic; Thanos isn’t necessarily relatable (nor does he need to be), but he is understandable in that we’ve all probably encountered at least one person who holds the same limited worldview and is somehow convinced that they could ‘fix’ everything, given the power. Thanos isn’t actually aiming for universal domination in the traditional sense, and it makes him more disturbing and more realistic as a villain, because his evil is not nebulous or purely self-serving; he is a true believer, and his delusions have an all-too-familiar ring about them, so as we watch him lumber and pontificate around the story, we get a clearly-drawn image of someone possessed of such basic and humble flaws that he is - again, without being treated as sympathetic - quite significantly humanised, despite all of the non-human elements that make up both his character, and his situation. Even as it planet-hops and draws upon cosmic magic, the narrative is grounded by a centrepiece of plain, ungodly fallibility.

Now, I recognise that in all of this praise for the way this film was executed, there isn't really anything to be said for it regarding the purpose of this blog; on the female representation front, it's not really doing anything (the fact that it juuust manages to pass the Bechdel and juuust over a quarter of its cast is female does not win it brownie points; its better than not having either of those things, but that's not a genuine achievement). The two female characters who were more prominently positioned in this movie are Gamora and Wanda; Gamora largely in context of her relationship with Thanos, and Wanda as Vision’s significant other and the means of his destruction. Notably, both women’s arcs are accessories to the arcs of male characters, which is not what we’re aiming for in good representation, though it does not exclude the possibility of quality content; Gamora’s role may have a lot to do with Thanos (not least, after he kills her), but it is still distinctly her own story, rich with emotion and coming to a surprising and depressing end which I felt struck the right chords to be compelling rather than an enraging disposal of one of the few female characters around (more on this after Endgame). Wanda’s presence leaves less of an impression, in terms of screen time, plot complication, and audience engagement, but all things considered I don’t think that was a terrible choice; Wanda and Vision’s relationship had been a somewhat sparse subplot in previous films and the chemistry was not strong, so I don’t think it would have been to the film’s benefit to try and expand on that relationship further than they did. As it was, there was enough there to sell the emotion, and nothing extraneous, and as much as I enjoy this movie, I wish I could say better things for its female representation than that. It is stuffed-full, and definitely not perfect, and space could have been made to pump up some of the other female characters’ roles more (the Earthbound characters get the least attention in the movie, and since basically all my faves are there it is a testament to how well this movie works for me that I enjoy it so much anyway, but a little more attention there would not have gone astray, especially since that’s where most of the female cast is). That said...I still really enjoy it, man. As far as popcorn action goes, this is top shelf.

#Marvel Cinematic Universe #Avengers: Infinity War #female representation #Bechdel Test #MCU

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fatedfuturist · 4 years

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things about my interpretation of tony stark. updated june 07, 2020.

here’s my exhaustive explanation for how i am not canon-compliant with the events and characterization of the mcu.

the reason for this is… well, there are several reasons, but i don’t want to stir shit up or just, in general, stomp on anyone else’s love for the mcu. and don’t get me wrong— i do love the mcu! but there are parts i’m critical of for personal reason, as we all have opinions on certain things. bc, yeah, you can love something, or someone, and still be logically critical about it or them.

anyway, here’s where my interpretation differs…

as per stated on my rules: i take inspiration for tony from multiple sources, including the mcu, marvel comics, the television show: avengers assemble, and my own personal headcanons. TONY IS ALSO ASIAN (SPECIFICALLY CHINESE) AMERICAN!!

i will admit that saying this isn’t particularly helpful if people don’t know, specifically, where i differ in terms of my interpretation of our dumbass genius. some of this info is scattered about on my blog, but here, it’s all consolidated into one post.

chen kun is my face claim, and i do use stuff from tony’s story from the mcu as a base. however, there are events and moments from the movies, that i selectively ignore due to personal preference; and then i build on top of my foundation with ideas, themes, and/or events from other sources such as the aforementioned sources listed above.

throwing this all under a read more because, like i said: exhaustive list. very. very. very fucking long. i’m serious– read at your own risk.

howard stark was an extremely abusive and absent father for all of tony’s childhood; tony did actively seek attention and approval from howard because he was rather aware of how famous he was and wanted the acceptance and validation from his dad; there wasn’t much shown in the mcu regarding his relationship with his father, but my inspiration for his father-son relationship comes from the comics;

an example of his verbal abuse: “you don’t want to be a sissy, now do you? stark men are made of iron!” (Iron Man, 1968);

an example of early exposure to alcohol: at age five, howard forced a drink into tony’s hand (which he did drink), stating that it would teach him “to be a man,” and that it’d “put hair on your chest” (Iron Man, 1968);

yes, this means that tony ‘forgiving’ howard in endgame is completely chucked out the window;

tony loses his parents the night of december 16, 1996 (not 12/16/1991), at the age of seventeen;

jarvis, the family butler, was more of a father to tony than howard ever was, and yes, this is why he names his first fully-functioning AI system jarvis;

tony was close with his mother, maria; she was his safehouse, and she taught him to be gentle and loving, and she also taught him the piano, which tony still periodically practices during his own time in private. in an avengers assemble episode, there is a piano in the tower that tony protects twice, which i reckon is because it has connections to his past with maria;

tony ain’t an old grandpa. i don’t see him being older than, like, 35–40 in the present time for my writing (chen kun is 44). this comes from comic and avengers assemble inspiration, which has been fairly ambiguous since they never mention his age. for plotting purposes in the mcu though, yes, he can be like 42–52 if needed.

tony is, by default, single unless otherwise stated. the reason for this is simply because i’m not big on tony / pepper in the mcu, and it’s not because i don’t like pepper (i love her as a character as an individual), but i just saw that the way they were written (so, this, yes, blames the mcu writers) was completely trash; they sort of redeemed it in endgame, but... in general, they had a lot of potential but then some writing choices pretty much ruined the ship for me;

this means that morgan does not exist unless otherwise specified and discussed, though i do enjoy the concert of tony being a dad to his own kid and breaking that cycle of howard’s shitty parenting;

i’m going to be as honest and transparent as i can: i do, for certain, love writing stevetony. they’re my primary ship. not simply in mcu dynamics, but from the comics and avengers assemble. however, like some can attest to, i will never force a ship on anyone. if you express no interest in them romantically? that’s fine. we can write them simply as good friends and comrades. i won’t stop writing or plotting with you if you don’t like them in a romantic dynamic. if you do like it that way? cool. i know it might be intimidating to discuss this given i look like complete trash for them, but i never choose who i will/will not write with based on whether we ship or not;

tony, publicly, hints toward being bisexual and biromantic a lot of the time as he’ll practically flirt with anyone at all times, but he never really openly admits it due to his oh-so ancient internalized homophobia (thank you for that one, howard and societal expectations of the time);

justin hammer is a long time rival in the industry, and often meddles with tony and his work all the time. it’s nothing new. the lack of foundation established in IM2 doesn’t provide much insight into their relationship. long story short (taken from avengers assemble): hammer is a punk bitch who’s jealous and tony is tired of him and will gladly beat his ass any day of the week whenever he drives a tank into his front door (which happens more often than not).

tony is fantastic with children. he loves getting to interact with children because he knows how excited they are to see him and/or iron man (seen in both the mcu and in the comics). this type of attention he’s okay about. if he can inspire children to do good things and be good people and be heroes in their own right, then he’s doing his job;

tony fosters the intelligence and dreams of bright individuals all the time by offering scholarships for high school graduates and post-secondary students, and also provides internship opportunities (equal opportunities regardless of race, sex, gender, religion, disability status, age, etc.)

we only see this occur with peter and harley in the mcu, but there are other kids— like riri williams! tony sees these kids for the bright minds that they have and he wants to help them and keep them safe as he knows these are the brains of the future.

let me run over iron man 3. like i said, i ignore some shit from the movies. tony doesn’t initiate the clean slate protocol, he doesn’t throw the arc reactor into the ocean, and he doesn’t remove the arc reactor from his chest. he will get surgery to get the shrapnel removed because if i were the follow the pain that comes with the comics, tony would literally be always on the verge of death at all times, requiring a chest plate to be recharged constantly to make sure the shrapnel doesn’t get closer– see? that’s a lot and i’m... lazy.

the reason for those choices are simple: clean slate protocol undoes his character progression;

the arc reactor is just a part of him as a person, stands as his heart;

avengers movie nights, (video/board) game nights, and training days exist and you will never be able to pry that out of my hands. tony always shows up fashionably late with coffee and pays for when shit gets broken by thor. team building exercises exist plenty within avengers assemble, including the fact that they share chores and decides who gets to do the next load of laundry from whoever chooses the short stick from the bunch.

tony has had anxiety and depression since he was a child. it just didn’t really flare up and get identified as a real, tangible mess of emotions and thoughts until he’d been kidnapped (and nearly died, at that). it got worse when he failed to address it until after IM3. into the present-day, tony deals with anxiety, depression, and PTSD all the time, but has improved (…sort of) when it comes to handling all of it, and certainly has grown to recognize similar symptoms in the people he cares about;

on another hand, tony has displayed symptoms of ADHD, but it’s not officially diagnosed, and some of these symptoms include, but are not limited to: hyperactivity (staying awake for days on end) and hyperfocus (hyper-focus on work), distractible (easily distracted when he’s not focused on something), rambling (talks a lot and often makes rather intuitive connections due to how busy his brain functions), impulsivity and recklessness (self explanatory), constant need to move around and/or do something (in meetings, he will be moving somehow, whether it’s tapping fingers or feet, or shifting around in his seat);

there are days where he feels inferior due to how human he knows he is (in comparison to most of his team), and other days, he feels as though he’s more machine than he is man. these feelings fluctuate depending on how he’s doing with his mental health, and/or if he hears and/or sees anything about him that points toward either idea;

there is always overwhelming guilt for those he can’t keep safe or people that die; tony doesn’t like to kill anybody (unless it’s robots, because… they’re robots, not human lives); though, if pushed far enough with no other choice, he will throw conventional morality out the window for the sake of protecting all that he believes to be for the good of the world;

tony isn’t jacked. he isn’t captain america fit, but he isn’t particularly thin, either. his body is sort of like a runner’s build (for visuals, refer to valerio schiti’s comic art of tony). i interpret tony’s body as a slight bit slimmer. he exercises, and being in the suit also is its own form of exercise. god forbid we discuss his eating habits, though. and–– he also isn’t short short, but he isn’t tall, either. he sits at 5’10”, which might be a little below the average male, but that’s about it.

speaking of eating habits, simply put: tony can’t cook for shit and that’s it. he’ll try to cook for his significant others’ on the occasion, but he can’t be blamed if he burns everything.

tony isn’t ‘woke’ or perfect, as it’s imperative to remember he grew up as rich and with financial and some social class privilege (since he was rich), despite the abuse and harassment he experienced during his youth. it’s taken him time to recognize this, and he realizes it really doesn’t cost anything to be a better person, which is why he tries to be better when it comes to his tone of voice when discussing certain topics he has no authority to be speaking of, and by taking action with simple manual labour when it comes to chores (so he doesn’t hire other people to do shit for him). he also knows he can’t be a man of ‘all bark and no bite’ when it comes to supporting people and causes, hence why he actively advocates for female and youth empowerment through both words and actions.

in regards to ca:cw events, i would prefer to ignore them. for specific-plotting purposes, this can be dropped, but i prefer the events of avengers assemble when it comes to ‘civil war’. it’s actually really simple:

tony was not honest about his intentions with the team regarding a robot that was initially made for him by howard, which ended up with an ultron reboot that nearly risked loads of civilian lives and the team’s lives;

steve confronted tony about it when they returned back to avengers tower. with tony’s insistence that everything was now fine, steve decided to resign due to tony’s dishonesty and lack of trust in the team;

this splits the team in half, where steve takes— well, they decided to leave since they didn't like tony's lack of honesty— natasha, the hulk, and the falcon to work under SHIELD as the ‘secret avengers,’ and tony, clint, and thor remain as leftover avengers (later with the addition of ant-man and temporarily, spider-man, in some missions);

in the end, they all join back together after learning to appreciate their differences and reconciling under the fact that there wouldn’t be any more secrets that could risk the world, and the team’s safety;

if i am to follow the events of the mcu— between ca:cw and infinity war, he develops nanotech for his armour, which is embedded into his very skin to accommodate for nanobots, which interacts via neural transmissions (visuals here);

tony recognizes that he lost his temper and let his emotions get to him in the moment, which fucked up shit that could’ve been talked through and fixed;

tony is an alcoholic. he recognizes that he always will be, though he’s always working toward sobriety. he certainly relapses every so often when things are rough and he feels as if he has no other options, but he’s aware that relapsing is part of the process of recovery. he has attended AA meetings (alcoholics anonymous), and has been AA sponsors for people in the past;

to skim through the events of infinity war and endgame should these be part of the things you’re curious about (this is getting really long and i’m sure you’re tired of reading this—how have you gotten this far?):

after returning from space, tony took a few months (~ five) to recover from those three months of malnutrition, dehydration, and the wound of thanos’ stab. tony sealed the front of his injury, but he sure as hell wasn’t seen dealing with the back end. during this time, he’s able to regain some muscle mass;

he lives on his own, retreating to the cabin to escape from the responsibilities of being a fallen hero who ultimately failed the people he was supposed to protect.

during the five year gap, he keeps in contact with the other avengers, but very rarely. they’re the only ones who know where he lives;

like i said— tony does not say any of that forgiving bullcrap to howard. victims of abuse don’t have to forgive their abuser, parent or not. let’s just imagine the entire interaction didn’t happen at all;

tony doesn’t die;

he used the infinity stones; but, to maintain consistency with what the mcu established w/ thanos: he sustained significant damage to his right arm, up to the shoulder and neck. it’s gravely scarred. the overall function of that arm also diminished greatly. vision out of his right eye is not as sharp as it once was, either;

a year of recovery and physiotherapy later, tony decides to amputate and go for a prosthetic. he works with shuri and wakandan tech to build an arm;

despite the end of the looming, world-ending thread, tony still battles resurfacing trauma. not every day is happy, but he is working toward recovery. there are days he doesn’t remember chunks of what happened due to the power of the infinity stones; sometimes, he doesn’t even want to remember it, anyway;

tony retires. sort of. for the most part. if the world really needs iron man, he’ll be there;

tony may have handed CEO-ship to pepper, but he still handles a lot of work for stark industries, and that’s what he primarily does post-endgame.

the multiverse and realm-traveling happens a-fucking-lot

#✧ i just want to feel like i’m still living. ≻ headcanon.#well fuck this took over an hour #and now i need to go to bed lmAOOOO #the formatting seems a bit whack bc i just copied and pasted it from my notes #but oh well #MFDSJHFDJSDFS #fuck this got long #long post //#tw: long post

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echoesofdisorder · 4 years

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Some thoughts on TROS

So I just saw the movie and have many thoughts, but since it is still very new I'm putting them under a read more.

There were parts I very much enjoyed. I'm seeing from the reactions many others didn't, but for me the Finn Rey Poe interactions were wonderful and that hug at the end . . . I will forgive many things for that.

One thing I will not forgive and that I WILL be rectifying in fanfic at some point is what was done to Hux and spoiler alert, what was done to him is basically the entirety of what I'm . . . ranting about? Talking about? Discussing? In this post.

On a personal level, I love the character. I've gleaned what I can of his backstory from my limited exposure to tie-in comics and books (thank you tumblr for sharing, I love you for that) and I must say he had so much more potential (so did Phasma, but this post is specifically about TROS so). I was disappointed they did so little with him and the spy angle, hmm, well I can see it. I can make that fit the characterization I've built of him. He's loyal to the First Order and Ren siding with Palpatine threatens that. Just cuz he said he doesn't care if the rebels win to Finn doesn't mean he believes that. Could just be what he thinks Finn will buy (it's no secret he and Ren don't get on, a former stormtrooper would be expected to know that). And his shared intel, that we knew at least, was all about Exegol or however you spell it. It was targeted to take out Palpatine. He could have been planning to rescue the First Order from the shambles the Resistance and the Final Order cuz he’s actually arrogant/confident enough to think he could do that. Alternately, seeing the end coming for his beloved First Order (like, the only stable thing in his life) may very well have pushed him past the breaking point and he was trying to get himself killed, or reckless enough in his attempts to save it not to care. There were several ways they could have made it work, they just . . . didn’t. *grumbles repeatedly under her breath*

But I digress, the point is, there was potential there, potential that could have fit with Hux's earlier characterization if they played it right. They could've even had him escape with the good guys n given us more Poe n Hugs snarkage, but no, we were denied. As someone who loves the character, and always will, I'm disappointed.

But I am also disappointed from just a general story standpoint. This was not a proper end to his story arc as a villain. This is the man who built and fired Starkiller Base. This man destroyed the Hosnian system and billions of lives. Even if he had comparatively little screen time, his impact was enormous. And he was discarded in a quick and indifferent way by a new villain who proceeded to take over his job. His death is not lingered on, either by the characters or the camera work. He is dismissed and forgotten. I was discussing this with my sister and trying to place what felt so wrong and we came to the conclusion that it was not the death he'd earned. He deserved being killed more dramatically by someone more important. Ren would have worked, but so would Finn, a victim of his training program, or Poe, who was held for info and tortured on his ship (though by Ren so less satisfying) and then snarked the hell out of him. Rose would have worked too, especially if she'd had more character arc. Narratively, he deserved a better death. My sister came up with the perfect comparison. It would be like if Darth Vader was killed by Jabba the Hutt in Return of the Jedi and then Jabba went on to help the emperor. And yes I know Hux is not equivalent to Vader, not by a long shot, but the level of impact he had was similar. Again, look at the Hosnian system. Those lives narratively demanded a better and noncomedic end to their murderer. Tarkin isn't a good enough comparison only because he didn't last long enough. Hux did outlive Starkiller by two whole movies (well, one and a bit), so he needed a death to match. Turning that level of villain into a joke? That's an insult to everyone he killed. Now that's not to say I didn't like some of the funny bits. TLJ is actually when I fell in love with Hux after hating him the first go around in TFA. Seeing how he reacted to the abuse he was put through in TLJ helped me relate to him in a way all his speechifying in TFA hadn’t. But there's a point where it's taken too far and I feel TROS sailed right on through that.

So in summary, cuz this got way longer than I intended, they done my favorite character wrong and I'm upset about it from both a personal and narrative standpoint.

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anonymoustoddler · 5 years

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I got stoned and found out some things and started writing a facebook post. And then... it turned into whatever the hell this is:

I went to NYU from 2005-2009.

Ilana Glazer.. apparently went to NYU from 2005-2009.

We graduated at the same time.

ALSO, I thought Rachel Bloom was older but NO, she was there too. And everyone seems to know her except for me.

She didn’t even go to Tisch, or study acting or writing or.. any of it. Rachel did. But all three of us sat in Yankee Stadium at the same time and listened to Hillary Clinton give our graduation speech. We had all the same opportunities and general access, the same potential for experience, exposure, connections, and a career.

And now they are there.

And my BFA’d ass is... right here.

It’s just really strange to think about that. Maybe if I had somehow done things quite differently, I’d be there instead.

Probably not, to be honest. I know I’ve never had whatever that thing is that makes certain people magnetic. I’ve never been the one to stand out in adulthood. I think, in fact, that many people find me rather dull compared to the shine of others in this field. But maybe... maybe if I’d really worked for it, for real. Maybe if I could have put everything into the work instead of most of it into all the wrong places with just a shaving of energy and effort and commitment left over.

But also. Something happened to me, back then. When I left Northview and Grand Rapids and Michigan to head for New York, I believed in my talent. I believed in myself in that way, if not much else. I knew I could do it, and do it well.

A lot of people seem to come into themselves in college. Find themselves, find their people, their passions and strengths, their future. But I think I had the opposite experience altogether. From my very first day in New York, I felt Weird. Different. Loser. Less than. Behind. Misunderstood. Shamed. Overlooked. Ignored. Doubtful. Anxious. Depressed. Afraid. Embarrassed. Hidden. Invisible.

It was a slow motion dissent into the earlier stages of where I am now. But nobody noticed. No one saw an eating disorder or depression or tremendous anxiety. No one saw severe mood instability, executive dysfunction, a strained and codependent and complicated two person family relationship. No one saw the things going on and attributed them to “She’s not ok.” It was always, “She’s immature. She’s selfish and lazy. She doesn’t WANT to grow up, so she’s keeping herself in states of dependency so she never has to try.” “She just doesn’t want any of it badly enough. If she did, she’d be doing the work to get it.”

I wonder, sometimes. If I hadn’t been sick and scared and alone, with only so much understanding at the time of what was happening to me and no understanding of what I was preparing to become; if I had real and proper help from any doctor or professor or from my mom - because I did not understand the severity of my need for help back then, and I thought my family doctor, a PA who actually really fucked up my life multiple times with her loose prescription pad and severe lack of knowledge of what she was doing, had me covered - what might I have accomplished instead of spending most of my free time in bed, balancing a part time job but barely able to take on anything else. 30 hours a week in retail plus commuting was literally everything I had in me WHEN I WAS AT MY BEST IN LIFE. When I was the closest I ever got to being a rack rate size, when I was still able to prioritize limited money spending, still eating both regularly and healthfully (as much so as I’ve ever been), still exercising simply by getting around, sleeping ok enough for the most part and generally on a more normalized schedule. I mean — I got up at 6 to be at work at 8 OFTEN. It was excruciating sometimes, but other times it was fun to get up and get ready for work. I had routines. I loved getting off the train at my SoHo stop and, depending on which line I took and how much time I had, getting my coffee at Starbucks or at Aroma, so overpriced but an entirely different experience and worth the convenience and sometimes a pastry to go along.

I’ve gotten quite entirely away from myself, but.. I was doing the best I’ve ever done or maybe will ever do. And I still could not work to pay my bills and also take voice and tap and jazz and scene study and exclusive workshops and networking events and open calls and appointment auditions and keeping up with theater and film and the business and and and.

I went to a handful of auditions in 2013 and 2014 - My Only Almost Good Years. Things were actually pretty horrible for the majority of them but it was also mostly the closest I ever got to Good in the beginning.

Regardless, I subscribed to Actors Access and I got the only real headshots I ever had taken and I submitted and submitted and submitted (not nearly as regularly or often as I should have, because I was still too scared then. I still gave a shit.) and I very occasionally got an audition. I submitted for a commercial call Under 18 girls skin care. I got called in. When the CD saw me, she told me they were only considering minors, but she wanted to keep my headshot and info anyway. I never heard from her again.

I got a call for a short film once (or was it a web series? Who knows) and even got a callback. But no part.

I did one show in those two years. Technically I guess one could argue two if you count the weird little Christmas play I did for no money right after I moved at the end of 2012, but. Aside from that... one casting. One.

In New Jersey. No pay - travel stipend included.

I was 24 years old playing a 12 year old in an aged down musical version of Three Sisters set in 1970s New Jersey. “We have to get back to Mosc- New York City!” But with generic numbers telling most of what little story there was.

And then I took an acting class, I fell and injured myself, my body wasn’t ever the same after that, and by the time my shoulder was as normal as it would ever be again, my brain was really starting to crack. I was depressed and anxious. I hated living in Brooklyn, I hated having no friends after so briefly being close with Jenn. I hated my roommate, the only man I had ever lived with before George. And no wonder. He was one of the worst people I’ve ever met, I think. The worst kind of fucked up Entitled Vaguely Wealthy White Male. He enjoyed making me upset, making me feel unsafe. He listened to me express my issues with things he did and instead of even pretending to care about living harmoniously, he laughed in my face and used every chance he could get to fuck with me for the kick of it. He was rude and weird and cold and cruel and cocky and prideful and hateful and gross and mean. He was selfish and thoughtless and manipulative. I knew he felt wrong from the moment I met him. I knew. But our third roommate was chill and relaxed and flexible, she seemed to get along with both of us enough so I thought she could and would act as a buffer if it ever came to that. I knew but I loved the apartment, and he found it and I didn’t have any friends to grab it out from under him with. I knew he was a bad guy and someone I might well have real trouble with and discomfort around, but Jenn had gone silent and enemy for reasons and in ways I will never, ever understand. One day she was my friend, and the next she was putting locks on her doors and saying I should really move out of HER apartment as soon as possible. She stopped speaking to me. She passive aggressively left disgusting messes all over the apartment. She locked the living room television in her bedroom and told some version of events in which I was the bad guy somehow to friends who we both went to school with, people I knew and liked. They in turn randomly met my coworkers and proceeded to say horrible things about me, and the only reason I even know is because one of them told me about it in the break room the next time I worked.

I knew Nick was a terrible risk in multiple ways. But I had to get out of the apartment because at the time I didn’t think it could be worse than living with Jenn, and Dan was a third who I thought would be in my corner, and the apartment was so much nicer than most of the places I had lived. I thought I could make it work. I thought that move was going to save me.

By the time my headshots were taken, I was beginning to lose feeling in my legs. I was struggling to keep treading water and starting to drown. I never got the free retouching because I never chose my final shots. I never chose because I barely submitted for auditions. I was doing on partial leave from work and doing as much physical therapy as I could afford to copays for, I was taking percocet for months and months because the pain wouldn’t go away. Something’s Wrong, I said. The Scans Look Normal, Try Taking Ibuprofen. I was home and hiding in bed more and more often. I extended my work leave and gave shifts away as much as I could. I went to therapy and a middle aged white woman with long beaded necklaces and a New Age Buddhism vibe in a shoebox office on the Upper East Side was getting tired of me and my lack of progress and consistent last minute cancellation of appointments. I went back to work and had panic attacks that kept me sobbing uncontrollably for over an hour, so many shifts spent partially alone sitting in a little room in the basement back of house, steam pumps taking up much of the space and nothing else there aside from a single office chair and a little grey table. I spent my entire hour lunch chain smoking on a stoop down the street. I smoked cigarette after cigarette, compulsively and even when I did NOT want any more. I talked more loudly and often about how bad things were, about my disorder and anxiety and depression and people liked me less and I was alone at work more. New people came on and old people left and new cliques formed and I had no friends. Work was torture and home was terrifying. I got through the summer by getting stoned on the roof so I wouldn’t have to be in the apartment in case he was home. But then one day my door knob broke and I was so terrified he would go into my room and take or break or mess with my things and the fear and panic were so real and so severe that I missed my best friend’s baby shower because I couldn’t find a locksmith on a Sunday and I couldn’t leave my room until I fixed my door knob. She was angry with me for a long time after that. We never saw each other before I moved back to Michigan. I don’t even know when we last saw each other anymore.

I could keep telling this story for hours, days. Tell every piece as I remember it straight on through 2014 and into 2015 and cancer and treatment and 2016 and George and more cancer and the worst possible conditions for a new relationship and relapse and the beginning of my current inability to function because everything was depression and exhaustion and loneliness. And on and on through five more moves and break up and emergency surgery and being thrown into the drivers seat and struggling with my mom’s health changes and selling my home and leaving everything I had for something new that was just more versions of bad. The scariest loneliest months of my life. And then the even scarier even lonelier ones after she died.

But just... just think of all that. And what if most of it had never happened?? If I’d gotten proper help a decade ago, who would I be now? Where?

Maybe I’d be there. With them.

Instead of here, alone, with nothing but memories of other times when I was also sad and life felt pointless.

I wonder what it would have been like to be there instead. I wish I knew.

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veecubed · 5 years

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Warning, this is going to be a long post. It’s going to be about a struggle I’ve always encountered with my body and my weight. So, now you know what it’s about, you can make a decision as to whether you want to spend time reading it.

I’m 6 months pregnant. I’m sharing a picture of me with a 24-week pregnancy belly. My husband has been receiving pictures like this for about a month, but I have been asked about my belly by others for quite some time and I just say it’s bigger than I’d like it to be at this point. I’m finally posting because I’m giving in to the pressure of so many requests. But it doesn’t come without real hesitation because I’ve had issues with my body and its shape and size for as long as I can remember.

Maybe it’s because I’ve heard comments about my size and shape from my family since I was a child. There was always talk about how skinny I was as a young kid (think elementary school years). Back then I had a great-aunt who I still remember to this day making a comment about “the hole” there was in the middle of my chest. I also became self-conscious of how my rib cage would stick out, which I just found out is called flared rib cage (I still call them my spares-as in my spare boobs), or how my hip bones would stick out, which I called my “guns” as in the guns you’d find on a holster. Then all my family could talk about was how much weight I had gained around the time I went into middle school (my timing may be off), which wasn’t much, but because I was so thin previously, I guess it was something you noticed. And so this type of roller coaster with my body shape and size went on and on as I grew up. Not to mention all the messages I received from society and the media about beauty standards and how I WAS NOT IT. My family would ask you why I didn’t eat all my food but then also talk about how much weight I gained.

This still happens, by the way. For example, I need to make sure I eat, because I’m creating a baby, BUT DAMN my belly is HUGE! Seriously, these are real comments made by the people who love me unconditionally.

My husband is the only person (well honestly none of the men I’ve ever been in a relationship with have ever made me feel bad about my body, not one. Not one.) who has never sent me a message directly that my body was not OK or acceptable. I say directly, because, let’s face it, he’s a product of the same society that I grew up in. He and I saw the same music videos with the thin women, with big boobs as the sex symbols that all the guys want. I’ve seen his Facebook and Instagram feed, I see the kind of women that are featured, there isn’t a ton of body variety. He’s told he has to be muscular to be the definition of male beauty, so he gets his share of distorted messages. And like I told him the other day “as if your life would be so much harder, if my body was more toned or less fat”. Like, who are we kidding? We grew up in the same world. We got very similar messages about what attractive men and women are supposed to look like. Now, that doesn’t mean we are all looking for this in others, but let’s be honest, the leading men and ladies in most of our TV shows and movies and voted sexiest don’t EVEN remotely resemble someone like me and my body type.

Then I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism. One of the results of which is weight gain due to a slow metabolism because my thyroid doesn’t work properly and as such cannot regulate my metabolism the way it should. Also, low energy and lots of fatigue which really hinders the whole “eat healthy and exercise more” mindset, since you are always too tired to cook for yourself or to go work out. But whatever, that’s a whole other post about having a thyroid condition.

I’m not sure anyone truly understands the constant struggle I face when it comes to my weight and body image. Well, actually, I know others can relate. What I mean is that I don’t really talk about it to others so they probably have no clue how I feel. My husband comes close. He’s seen me at my absolute worst with this. He’s seen me cry and lose my shit because I was so tired of the weight gain, the mixed messages about my body and what I eat, the lack of education I truly have regarding nutrition at all and feeling like I have no control and have to choose between being happy and being thin which is so fucking complicated I can’t even begin to describe. But here’s a try. In January 2017, I decided to give weight loss ANOTHER try. I started working with someone who would describe himself as a nutritional coach. Really he was telling me what I needed to eat in order to lose weight and because of my thyroid, I lost weight MUCH slower than many who don’t have this challenge. For example, most people lost twice the amount of weight in the same time as I did. I also had to eat A LOT less than most people on his program. I know this because he shared this with me. So It’s not my imagination or assumption. But, I stuck to it, for about a year. And I lost 30-40 pounds. My lowest weight was 117 pounds right before my wedding. This program required that I weigh myself every day, eat 5 meals a day, 2.5 servings of protein spread out over the day, 2 servings of starches (or carbs) only in the morning, 2 servings of dairy also just in the mornings, 3 servings each of fruit and veggies, 2 servings of fat, low sugar, low sodium, and as much water as possible (on most days I had about 90-100 ounces). Oh and I had to send him a picture of what I ate every time I was about to eat which was every 2.5-3 hours. I made all my own foods every day. It became everything I thought about all the time. But I lost the weight. It’s a lifestyle change, not a diet. These are healthy habits, not a diet. But the problem is, I was miserable all the time. I was obsessed with not gaining weight. I was SCARED to gain the weight back because I knew I was going to get bored. See, I was eating so little, and I had such a limited menu because of my lack of exposure to food that I got sick of the same shit, every day. Cut to the honeymoon and I weigh 125 pounds upon my return. Because I tried to enjoy myself, I gained almost 10 pounds in 10 days. I was never able to get back to 120 or less. And at one point, I was told “Rosemary is not 128 pounds, that’s not the new Rosemary”. That kind of hit me. But, what if I am…why would that be so bad?

Let’s get back to this baby belly picture, one of the struggles I experienced was not knowing when I was “showing” because when I found out I was pregnant, I was weighing 135 pounds, which for a 5 foot tall individual, that’s being overweight, and well, that’s I guess accurate, because my stomach wasn’t flat and so I already had a few layers of fat on my belly before a baby belly would start showing. So here we go, the first thing I have to think about with my changing body---I won’t really know when I’m showing because I’m already flabby to begin with. Next, look up recommendations for weight gain. Well because I started out overweight, the recommendation is basically 15 pounds. FIFTEEN POUNDS?!? For the whole pregnancy?!? 10 MONTHS?!? The other recommendation is 25 pounds for someone who doesn’t start out overweight. Listen, I’m already stressed out at being 135, now I have to try and remain no heavier than 150pounds, and if I want to give myself a break then no heavier than 160 pounds! Cue the waterworks, the anxiety, the self-hatred, the panic, the fear. What do I do if I can’t control it? What do I do? What if my eating habits hurt my developing baby? UGH! And to make things worse, let’s add the holidays into the mix. I stop weighing myself because honestly, I just can’t stand to see the numbers anymore. Every time the weight goes up, I think, “Is it the pregnancy or is it that I’m just getting fatter”. I keep researching experiences by other women and I see how some complain about losing weight when they got pregnant or how others gained 60-70 pounds. Honestly, the thought of gaining 60-70 pounds makes me want to disappear. I can’t even. I don’t know what I’d do with myself. The thought makes me cry right now as I type it.

Let’s take a step back, about 6 months ago, I started to look for other ways to relate to food and my body. You know there is this whole movement about mindful and intuitive eating. In short, anything mindful and intuitive is attractive to me. Here’s what I’ve gathered so far about this movement: If we can get back in touch with ourselves and our natural hunger cues, we can determine what we need and when we need it. If I’m hungry, I should eat, but I should be tracking when I get full so that I don’t overeat. When I’m full, I stop until I’m hungry again and then I eat again. All the while making the best choices I can make and honoring what my body is needing. The idea is that your body will let you know, but the challenge is that because of the many years of terrible learning about food, we will have trouble figuring out what our body is really needing and how to nourish it correctly. Now, this is what I’ve gathered, I’m not an expert in this area. I do have a friend who might read this and is an expert and can give you more info if you’d like it. I don’t want to mis-represent anything. Anyway, I reach out to this friend at one point, and when she told me that she doesn’t focus on weight gain or weight loss, I retreated. I wanted to lose weight. And the idea that if I listened to my body and eat what’s right for it, then my weight would shift according to where it’s supposed to be, this is called set point theory, terrified me. Set point is the weight range in which your body is programmed to function optimally. Set point theory holds that one’s body will fight to maintain that weight range. Oh my god what if my set point is 150 pounds?! I can’t even fathom that. That’s not who I want to be. That’s where my thoughts automatically go. So I backed away from the idea of mindful and intuitive eating. Let’s complicate this further by mentioning that I grew up with a mom who was and is overweight, I guess for her weight it’s considered obesity. I can’t imagine what my being afraid to gain so much weight, must say to her. Although, she is one of the people who talks about my weight, too. Nobody is safe, I guess.

Honestly the first person to ever even mention something close to this was my husband, back when I was doing AIP and losing my mind. He said “but what if this is the weight you’re supposed to be” and that shit just bothered me to my core. The idea that I had to accept that who I was, was someone who was always going to be over 120 pounds even though, for my height, I should be between 100-120 pounds.

Flash forward again, over the course of the last 6 months, I’ve gone back and forth between I have to lose weight, I can’t gain too much weight, I’m ok at whatever weight I am, I’ll be OK no matter what, my weight doesn’t define me, I just can’t gain so much weight, and so on and so forth. I can honestly say that EVERY day my thoughts go through a variety of those ideas.

Thanks to the stupid idea of the new year and how we all want to lose weight, I’ve had 3 websites open over the last week which are about meal plans. I’ve decided to try another approach. What if I learned to eat nutritional options (expanded my experience with foods) so that I can make better decisions when I do get hungry? This is a real challenge when you grow up considering potato, lettuce and tomato to be the only options for vegetables. When every meal includes tons of rice or other starchy options such as bread and over the years those items have become known as a problem. So, I’ve decided to curate my Instagram: No accounts that focus on weight loss. No accounts that only show thin women as the standard (let me be clear, I said ONLY, because thin women are not a problem at all!). More body positive accounts. As a side note, I’ve noticed a real lack of diversity in accounts that focus on nutritional eating vs. weight loss as well. Where are my people of color?!? Again, a post for another day.

I’ve decided that I owe myself and the alien growing inside me the opportunity to eat more nutritionally, expand my variety, and TRY not to worry about what my weight and my body actually look like. Instead, I want to feed it the things it needs to work optimally. And not punish myself when I stray from that. That I want to finally accept myself no matter how I look. But, when you’re someone who is thin and that’s your set point, it’s a completely different reality from being someone who takes up more space in a world that punishes and judges taking up more space. It’s a different experience to love yourself when you fall into the weight range the doctors say you’re supposed to fall into and not just an idea of what you want to look like. I’m not saying it’s easier when you’re thin, I’m saying I just want it to be easier period. For any size.

The thing is, after 3 pages of writing, I want you to realize that, when I share a picture like this one, it’s not something that happens thoughtlessly. It’s something that I battle with (and probably others do as well) and that requires all of this thinking and feeling! Sometimes it’s just easier not to post it. You know? But, that’s not in line with my new body positive value that I’m working on developing.

Also, please don’t think that I need any feedback at all from any of you! I’m not looking for compliments. This isn’t a pity party. I don’t need anyone to make me feel better. I can do that on my own. Just ask my husband who is constantly TRYING to make me feel better and knows I do a better job than anyone at that task, although I love him so much for trying anyway. If you want to comment, go ahead, but don’t do it because you think that’s what this post is about. This post is more about challenging myself, being vulnerable, and sharing my experience, because you never know who can relate or who might need it.

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omegaplus · 6 years

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# 2,613

I started Ω+ on this day five years ago as the sister site to our own Omega WUSB playlist page. Whitehouse’s William Bennett who has one of his own is the reason why. We had lots of nothing to do in-between creating broadcasts so I wanted to stay busy. I felt there was a lot of music I played, listened to, and discovered that I wanted to get out and connect with people. Our first post? #0. Yes, we have a post number zero. We had to give it some due because #1 always goes first. #0 was not only the genesis of Ω+ but also told of Omega’s return to station airwaves. That was also our very first playlist post, a kind which we rarely did until only a couple of years ago when we carried them over here to up our profile and our show.

We learned that posting once or twice a month got us nowhere, so we got right to it. Ω+ is all original content and no re-posting other people’s entries. All fair and square. Everything you see here is all written by me. Discoveries and purchases I found at record stores, artists I played on-air, tracks that made an impact or changed the game, experiences that happened, sounds I gave to friends and allies and vice versa, and more. All real and no fiction. The first few short bursts allowed me to share what I thought was amazing and see if anything of my ideas resonated. We used to post finds according to season when I found them, but why have it limit usus? With my diversity, I wasn’t content with focusing on only a few genres. Ω+ became anything-goes: shoegaze, punk, synthpop, hip-hop, new wave, industrial, noise, hardcore, everything. Nothing would be off-limits because I’m truly into all types of music. For a long time I had trouble finding the right time to post to get consistent visitors. What used to be 11AM then 8AM, I now post starting at midnight for best results. For a while I even tried blog promotion and with a lot of time and work, we received lots of followers. 99% of those followers did just that and we never seen them on our dashboard or notifications again.

Ω+’s first few posts had no one showing up but there was no quit here. When they like or follow me, I do the same as a thank-you. Some of you stopped by to say that I was capturing exactly what happened, when it happened. Regulars not only visited here daily but sometimes when those one or two specific followers share something of mine back to themselves, the counts rocket right up. That’s a great feeling to wake up to. I even spoke to people here who influenced my shows and impacted me personally.

On the other hand, we disallow pornbots and followers posting NSFW images and because of it, we were almost planning on leaving here for another site. Sorry, it’s simply not our thing. With The Great (?) Tumblr Purge of December 2018 (always remember, never forget), we might be able to breathe a little better; though we do have to say it doesn’t do good on the rights of others who get off on it. Pun intended. Erasure is never a good thing. We also disallow anyone who just walk in and message us to “check me out” or “hey look at me, listen to my music”. It’s not what we’re about. Stop asking us. We really don’t care about you.

I can happily say that 95% of my stay here was nothing short of great. No anonymous asks or followers bringing drama help us greatly. The other 5%? Broken connections, ghosts, an ex- and her NSFW posts, and a reach-out to a troubled bad witch who became flat-out pretentious and above-all. However, we’re professional here. Omega WUSB and Ω+ does get worldwide exposure. We have nothing but good things to say about any of our connections who leave us. We do keep it positive.

For a few months our themes worked great until we saw Ω+‘s pics- become warped. It took us many theme switches later to find the right one, ending in what you see here. We do take great pains to do things differently here than everyone else, adding sub-pages for info-, series, abouts, mixtapes, and more. Themes are never perfect, however. How many hours have I spent fixing misleading links?

Ω+ had many running specials over the past several years of us being here. Punk finds at the Stony Brook Press office, this year’s record-store excursions (Spring 2018), playlists from former friends and allies of ours, obligatory gambling posts, Atari Brooklyn and Nintendo youth, the one-off June vision, “bonus” posts, live shows, sampling series, etcetera. You name it, we did it. Without question our most popular series was last year’s ‘second issue series’ (December 2017-April 2018), where we got the most bang for our buck. We took our previous entries and re-introduced them with different sleeve art, special editions, misprints, test pressings, and colored vinyl and cassettes. That allowed us to easily skyrocket our posts and also likes and followers. I even dared show my face here finally. Hi, I’m doing fantastic. And you? After five years here, you have to get something back from me. About time. Down the road we may re-blog our strike-out posts from our first year and might finally come around in showing all of you my t-shirt nirvana.

The industrial and noise posts bring in the most consistent notice and our all-around best numbers. An Omega Spring 2016 playlist featuring Joy Division became Ω+‘s most popular entry at 320+, with another from that season featuring Brian Eno & David Byrne at 70+. One playlist from Summer 2014 featuring Nurse With Wound refuses to die at 80+. You loved the op-art cover of Destruction Unit’s Deep Trip at 200+…without any help from pornbots, I might add. An orange-vinyl copy of Blur‘s “Girls And Boys” gave us 90+. Entries of Hole‘s “Voilet” 7″ at 70+ and The Smiths blue “Panic” 12″ (at the expense of Morrissey) at 90+ round out our most popular posts. Yet none of you give a shit about Rakim. How could you.

Ω+‘s longest-running series are its’ seasonal / personal mixtape series. They started as cassette mixes I made of music I discovered every season to help me remember names, places, experiences, and etcetera. Eventually, I stopped making cassettes and then resorted to playlists you see here. These are stories to tell. As mentioned before, the fact that some of our followers tell us that we capture a specific snapshot in time exactly as we experienced it and felt ourselves is what we do best. That’s both good and bad. It’s good to see who comes in to feel or connect with us. Though, drama comes with the territory, but who hasn’t experienced it? It’s part of the territory. It’s a thing and anyone feeling morose, on fire, hazy can relate. Good or bad, as it happens, when it happens, we always say. We been wondering for a long time if those stories had interfered with Ω+’s purpose or overall atittude and even considered to simply stop the bad news altogether simply because we could be yellow-carded for reaching for the past. No matter the outcome, we’re curious to see if anyone came close in imagining what we went or go through. Go on. I’m not leaving.

But for the most part, that 95% had done us / myself a lot of good. We met and got in touch with a lot of awesome people from everywhere. Punks, assholes, artists, industrialists, the streets, shoegazers, trans-individuals, basics, flag-wavers, goth / witch girls, addicts, everyone. We have people who just make pizza pies, torture artists posing as pixies, and those who play music in the dark. New York City, Moscow, Los Angeles, Boston, Toronto, Johannesburg, Istanbul, Athens, Sydney, Warsaw, everywhere. No matter the color, gender, or sexual allegiance, we welcome everyone.

It’s lots of work and time consuming to be persistant and give you what you see here. It gives us something to look forward to. To trade off experiences, aesthetics, ideas, and leads with all of you is amazing and all of you are the reason why we’ll keep Omega WUSB and Ω+ forward. The feelings we get for keeping in touch and seeing each other’s aesthetic makes us hopeful in finding where we belong, and that’s why we’re here. We thank you all for your understanding. We want to keep it all going for the next five. Unless we see a mass exodus of people leaving after this purge, like Brooklyn, “we’re going fucking nowhere”.

#omega #WUSB #music #mixtapes #reviews #playlists #personal

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cdc1345711 · 6 years

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My Hero Academia/Vigilantes Crossover Story

(Class 1-A students Midoriya,Uraraka,Ida,Todoroki,Bakugo,Mina,Kirishima,Sero,Mineta,Hagakure,Tsu,and Yaoyorozu took a trip to Higashi-Naruhata at the request of Ida,since he said his family has a spare house in the seemingly slum-like neighborhood)

Midoriya:Not gonna lie Ida,it’s surprising your family has a spare house in a place like this.....”

Ida:Technically it’s my family’s company retreat,which I thought would......”

Bakugo:Cut the crap ‘Class-Rep’ you obviously invited us here for a reason so spit it out.....”

Kirishima:Jeez Bakugo you shouldn’t expect Ida to have a secret purpose,not his style”

Sero:Though he did try to hunt down the Hero Killer Stain”

Kirishima:Actually you got a point there”

Uraraka:Come on guys Ida learned his lesson the last time”

Ida:No-Bakugo is right......(everyone looks at Ida in surprised looks)”

Midoriya:Ida what do you mean?”

Ida:The main reason I invited you all here was because Higashi-Naruhata is plentiful of ‘Impromptu Villains’ as well as.........Vigilantes......”

Hagakure:Vigilantes?......”

Sero:I didn’t think they were still around?”

Ida:My brother was fighting a villain with a bat quirk near this area,he found him but beaten to an inch of his life and saw 3 figures on a rooftop-no doubt the illegal heroes”

Midoriya:Yeah you’re right Ida-Naruhata is protected by 3 super-heroes,so far the 2 I know of is ‘The Hauler’ and Pop-Step......”

(The girls all scream in unison-except Yaoyorozu)

Girls:SQUEEEEEEEEEE”

Mina:We get to meet Pop-Step”

(The guys are confused)

Uraraka:She is a freelance singer,who shows off her singing skills for her fans for free”

Hagakure:She is so awesome”

Mineta:(Having a creepy perverted fantasy)And she has such a sexy ass(he’s smacked upside the head by Tsu)”

Tsu:You’re such a perv Mineta”

Yaoyorozu:But we mustn’t forget she is blatantly using her quirk in public therefore breaking the rules our quirk filled society has created”

Ida:You’re absolutely right”

Bakugo:(Scoffs)So that’s why we’re here? to take some wannabe villains and a couple of wannabe heroes clinging to a fossilized idea”

Todoroki:I’m sure the school wouldn’t allow it”

Ida:That is why I said this would be a ‘scouting mission’ but Mr.Aizawa said we’re allowed to fight IF needed”

Midoriya:So what’s the game plan,we just ask around the streets in case we spot a Impromptu Villain or one of the vigilantes?”

Ida:Precisely Midoriya-we split up into teams of 3 and patrol the areas”

Mineta:Remind me-why am I here?”

Ida:We’ll need your sticky ball quirk to capture our targets,as well as Asui’s tongue(Tsu:Just ‘Tsu’ please”),Todoroki’s ice,Sero’s tape and whatever capturing device or tool Yaoyorozu will created with her quirk”

Yaoyorozu:I great strategy Ida”

Kirishima:So whose gonna end up with who”

Ida:Me,Midoriya and Uraraka are a team, same for you Kirishima,Bakugo and Todoroki,Sero,Hagakure and Mina and Tsu,Yaoyorozu and Mineta”

Mineta:Hell yeah I get the best babes(Tsu smacks him again)”

Bakugo:Doesn’t matter whose with me-I see those damn wannabe villains or those dumb fossil I’ll kill them dead”

Todoroki:Same as always huh Bakugo”

Bakugo:WHAT THE HELL DID YOU SAY ICY-HOT?????”

(And as soon as they put their costumes on they start to patrol the city asking anyone if they’ve seen or heard of any villain or vigilante news-so far nothing-they all meet back at a park)

Yaoyorozu:We regret to inform that we’ve found nothing”

Kirishima:We tried to talking to these guys,one with freaky eye-glasses and one short burly faced guy who said they know them but haven’t heard from them recently-and then Bakugo tried to fry their faces off”

Bakugo:I WOULD’VE GOT MORE INFO IF YOU BASTARDS STAYED OUT OF MY WAY!!!!!!”

Todoroki:How about the rest of you”

Mina:It’s a dead end”

Uraraka:Us too”

Midoriya:They said there hasn’t been any new villains in public for a while-same for the vigilantes”

Kirishima:Maybe you got some bad intel from the teachers Ida?”

Ida:Impossible-Mr.Aizawa clearly stated that Hbarashi-Naruhata had 3 vigilantes-he would never lie to us(they all look at him in somewhat ‘really-did you just say that’ expressions)...........maybe he did”

(Before they called it quits a loud yell was heard)

‘AAAAAAAH IT’S A BUNCH OF VILLAINS’

Midoriya:Did you hear that?”

Kirishima:Villains?,we got to help them

Bakugo:Finally-something to fight(uses his explosion quirk to fly to the scene)”

Midoriya:WAIT UP KACCHAN!!!!(but he’s too far to hear)Dammit Kacchan”

Ida:Our priority is to scout but innocent lives would get hurt so we have no choice but to help fight them”

(They make it to the scene where 4 villains have just surfaced)

Kirishima:Whoa........”

Sero:I’ll tape up the little one if you guys can take down the big ones”

Bakugo:Screw that-i’ll kill all 4 of them without......”

(But before Bakugo could fire one explosion a buff shadowy figure jumps down and punches one of the villains knocking him out)

Kirishima:HOLY CRAP-did you guys see that dude’s punch? so manly......”

(Another villains attempts to attack Midoriya and Mineta-but in a flash they’re both saved)

Midoriya/Mineta:Huh????”

Koichi:You kids shouldn’t be here-it’s too dangerous”

Pop-Step:He’s right you know(the girls look in awe of her)

Knuckleduster:Yeah-leave this to us......”

Bakugo:(Completely pissed)LIKE HELL YOU FOSSIL(fire his explosion at both the second villain and Knuckleduster)”

Koichi:MASTER!!!!!!!????”

Knuckleduster:(Seemingly not affected at all)Nice shot kid”

(A third villain-a rock-like skinned one charges at Knuckleduster and Bakugo only to be frozen by Todoroki)

Bakugo:I DON’T NEED TO BE SAVED BY YOU ICY-HOT?”

Todoroki:Yet it seemed like you did”

(But the villain breaks free from his icy prison......only to be punched by Midoriya)

Midoriya:DELAWARE......SMAAAAAASH(punches the villain square in the lower jaw)”

(One villain remained and he was a giant one)

Koichi:How do you plan on getting to that guy Master?”

Kirishima:Hey Old Man-why don’t you try throwing me?(hardens his entire body)”

(Knuckleduster just smiles as he picks up Kirishima and with a might thrust throws the hardened boy and sees him double fists the giant villain square in the face)

Kirishima:Hell-Yeah,always wanted to be a ‘Fastball-Special’”

(They tie up the villains with Sero’s tape-as the UA Students finally meet the famous ‘Vigilante Trio’)

Midoriya:Holy Crap,is that a genuine limited edition All Might Hoodie????”

Koichi:Yes it is.....it’s the 2013 edition”

Midoriya:So cool.....I only got the 2016 edition”

(Mina,Hagakure and Uraraka all 3 talk to their favorite singer)

Hagakure:OMG it’s so nice to meet you”

Mina:We’re huge fans of your work......”

Uraraka:Mind signing my notebook?”

Pop-Step:Sure,no problem”

Kirishima:(Talking to Knuckleduster)That was one manly punch Old-Man,you must have some super strength quirk or something?”

Knuckleduster:It’s ore something.....because I don’t have a quirk”

Sero:Seriously????”

Bakugo:Bull-Crap no one a quirkless loser can land a punch like that?”

Knuckleduster:Kid I stopped giving a damn about what people think of me years ago-especially from a violent animal who had to be muzzled and chained when he won the UA sports festival.......and yeah I know you’re UA students”

Bakugo:(Livid beyond comprehension)Wild......animal.........?(gritting his teeth)”

Koichi:Yeah-we also know about those League of Villain guys-more experienced than the guys we deal with on a regular basis”

Knuckleduster:Still-bet one of those punks could put up a good fight?”

Pop-Step:You’re so stupid old man”

(As the Students and Vigilantes express pleasantries-Ida writes notes on pieces of paper and gives them to Koichi,Pop-Step and Knuckleduster)

Koichi:What are these?”

Ida:Tickets-one for illegal use of quirk in public(Koichi)..........excessive brutal force(Knuckleduster)......and one for.......”

Pop-Step:INDECENT EXPOSURE???????”

Ida:Precisely-that outfit of yours show out parts of your boosum and your posterior a very inappropriate attire to be seen in public”

Pop-Step:(Looking at Yaoyorozu)What about her?,she looks more skimpy than me?”

Ida:Her costume allows her to use her creation quirk and is approved by UA standards,yours is not”

Pop-Step:WHY YOU LITTLE ROBO-NERD I OUTTA......”

Koichi:Hey you’re Ingenium’s brother right?”

Ida:(Shocked he knows his brother)How do you?????”

Koichi:I met him once-I’m sorry to hear what happened to him,but i’m glad he’s okay and that you and your friend were able to put his attacker behind bars”

Ida:Thank you for those kind words”

Knuckleduster:(Hearing sirens)CRAP it’s the police-let’s go......”

Ida:WAIT A MINUTE-YOU 3 ARE UNDER ARREST FOR VIGILANTISM........STOP!!!!”

(And as the 3 illegal heroes retreat to the darkness the UA Students head home-one in particular wondering if they’ll ever see them again)

THE END

#My Hero Academia #My Hero Academia Vigilantes

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clarencenicholsonata · 4 years

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Seasonal Email Marketing Campaigns: How to Make Your Halloween Campaign Stand Out

The time of the year when marketers discuss the design of the first of the most important seasonal email marketing campaigns is approaching fast.

I am talking about Halloween, of course, the time when lovers of all things spooky rejoice. No brand or marketer in their right mind would pass up on the opportunity to capitalize on this time of the year - or any time that would allow them to utilize the seer power that is a seasonal campaign.

According to the graph above, Halloween is one of the most fruitful commercial holidays. 8.8 billion dollars was spent on this holiday in 2019 alone. So why not take a slice of those earnings by creating a fantastic Halloween campaign?

Let's see how you're going to use seasonal email marketing to achieve the ROI of your dreams.

Start Early

Create a strategy or campaign that will make your prospects engage and use all arrows in your quiver to do so.

Create an engagement scheme and start writing content that will serve as a little "treat" for the "tricks" you're going to pull, marketing-wise. Start early, around the beginning of October, and keep them hooked and waiting for your next move.

1. Create Halloween Contests

Start by treating your prospects to a spooky and fun Halloween contest on social media. A Halloween giveaway would be ideal. You could go about it the way Dunkin' Donuts did.

Dunkin' Donuts held a competition on its social media platforms and created a branded hashtag for it: #DDCostumeContest. Now, not many people would go as a donut for Halloween; however, this contest was a huge success. And the prize - a feature on the Dunkin' billboard on Times Square, a year's supply of coffee, and $2,500 to boot - really did help!

The point here is that the competition generated tons of exposure for the brand, a lot of user engagement, and made the act go viral, all by utilizing User Generated Content (UGC).

Your brand can follow this tactic and pair it nicely with an optimized landing page, created solely for the needs of the competition. If your prospects want to be updated on the winner, they may enter their email. And there you have a Halloween contest that generates leads that are already interested and engaging with your Halloween content!

2. Create Extended Offers

Starting early and extending your Halloween contest, offer, or "treat" is essential. For the following reasons:

Prospects have all the time they need to decide on what they want. Of course, you can use a countdown timer to instill some FOMO in them.

Halloween could be on any day. A busy Monday or a slow Thursday will rob you of the traffic that your offer could generate on the weekend.

It shows just how much you care and will make prospects remember you.

Again, you can build up the anticipation with some great social media marketing. Phrases like "Subscribe to our newsletter for more info" will create a curated, interested email list in no time!

Oh, and do not forget the themed code for the offer:

It shows your whimsical side and will help people connect with you and your content.

3. Build Halloween Campaign Suspense!

Is it a trick? Is it a treat? Is it a deal? Your prospects' only way to know the answer to those questions is if they interact with your emails.

Create a cryptic message you could share on your social media that will be leaving hints at an offer. And then, create an email sequence that will keep your prospects hooked and make them interact with your email:

Get users to interact with your Halloween campaigns with a game or an interactive quiz that will capture their attention.

Starting early with an email that doesn't say much and building up to the big reveal right in time for Halloween is something that will help your click-through rate skyrocket, as well as your traffic.

Create Content To-Die-For

The tips above are all fine and well, but you need one key element to make them work, and that would be wonderful email copy and great social media content that can match that copy.

And I've got some tricks that will help you reach the "treat" of conversion. Now a high-converting seasonal email marketing campaign consists of excellent email copy - from the subject line to the CTAs-, content that is highly relevant and appealing, and, of course, visuals that will stay in a prospect's mind for a long, long time.

1. A Themed Subject Line

Your brand won't be the first or the last one to send your prospects a seasonal email marketing campaign, which can only mean one thing for you.

You need to dazzle them with some great email subject lines:

This one is an example out of my inbox, and let me tell you, I was very curious about what "all treat" and "no tricks" really meant.

In that case, I opened the email and saw a seasonal offer that I rushed to grab. So, the example above shows a clever seasonal wordplay that is equal parts playful and intriguing.

Use that tactic to make your recipients feel a little interested and curious about your offer. And if it's a limited time offer, use a timer or highlight the fact right off the bat.

Super Pro Tip: It should be a given, of course, but never take a step forward before consulting your data and A/B testing everything. This practice will give you insight into the type of content prospects want to receive and help you make educated decisions, backed by data.

2. Halloweeny Look

Wondering how to write content for your Halloween email marketing campaign is one thing that you need to get out of the way, sure. But what about the campaign's "looks"?

Just because your campaign is seasonal doesn't mean that you need to change your email layout completely. On the contrary, you can use the design your prospects love, but with a little twist.

Change the standard colors for something more "spooky". Like this:

Dunkin's email is the perfect example, as the original font is right there, as well as the colors. However, there's some Halloween decor on this email: notice the dripping effect on the letters and the mix of Dunkin's original colors - pink and orange - with the more seasonal purple.

You can also create a different color scheme, depending on your target audience and the vibe you'd like your email to have: Be fun and classic with oranges, purples, and bats or creepy and horrific with greens, cauldrons, and zombies.

3. Fear Is Your Friend

You know how Halloween is all about fear and spooky things. Your Halloween email marketing campaign might be the only one you can build around fear, without making it unpleasant.

Of course, I'm talking about Fear Of Missing Out - or FOMO, if you will.

Use words that have to do with fear and being wicked and scary. Here's an email subject line to help set the mood:

No brand would use such language outside of Halloween, but at this specific time, it's appropriate and fitting. Not to mention that it brilliantly leads to the email body copy:

Offer's good "until midnight this Halloween," which is a pretty good reason to be scared, especially as a gamer. You see, creative copy for little offers like the one above keep customers happy and keep your CTR, traffic, and customer churn at the rates you want them to be. For more help here are 6 actionable steps to reduce customer churn on your ecommerce site.

4. Create a CTA That Takes the Cake

...Or the candy bar, whatever you prefer. The whole point is that your CTA needs to stand out and be as spooky and fun as the rest of your email.

Does this mean that it needs to be cryptic and overly creative? No. CTAs show prospects what their next action should be and lead them straight to your goals.

Don't swarm your email with copy, no matter your creative knack. Customers won't read all of your emails, but they will bother with three things: our subject line, email design, and CTA.

Go straight to the point when letting your readers know what you want from them. Of course, this doesn't mean that you have to be bland or boring. Check this CTA copy, and you'll see what I mean:

Also, don't forget to have one CTA button. Just the one. Otherwise, prospects will get a little confused about what your seasonal email marketing campaign is trying to do.

Honorable Mentions

Before I go, I'd like to remind you of some email marketing staples you need to implement on any campaign - apart from selecting the right email service, of course.

Keep a clean, well-curated email list. Unsubscribers can get you penalized, and the last thing you want is for your emails to end up in the dark corners of a spam folder.

Always segment your audience and create buyer personas and always consult your data before doing so.

Create responsive emails that will work correctly for any device. Mobile opens are taking over, and you don't want to miss out on that revenue.

Bonus: enjoy some best halloween ad campaigns and get some spooky inspiration!

Summing Up

Halloween is the holiday that marks the spending season, as Thanksgiving and Christmas follow soon after.

Don't be afraid to get creative and send out playful emails that can have a "magical" or "spooky" twist.

Just remember to adjust your tone of voice and copy, create a unique message, and save the prospect's time by not babbling too much in your email's body copy.

After all, the festive time of the year calls for presents and a little spending. Use the tips above, and you'll see that you can benefit from this.

About the Author

Téa Liarokapi is a content writer working for email marketing software company Moosend and an obsessive writer in general. In her free time, she tries to find new ways to stuff more books in her bookcase and content ideas-and cats-to play with.

from RSSMix.com Mix ID 8230801 https://ift.tt/3l00PXB via IFTTT

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adriennescomingbacktolife · 4 years

Text

(II)

Gasping for air, Adrienne stared up at the lights. Her jaw was sore. She had a splitting headache. She’d been elbowed, kicked, and dropped on her face. Her shoulders were pinned to the mat for that all important three seconds. However, Adrienne couldn’t help smiling as the official, she hadn’t caught his name, checked in on her. Supermassive Black Hole echoed throughout the empty arena as Starburst celebrated in her peripheral vision.

Adrienne Levi had lost. But she certainly didn’t feel like a loser that night. And she wanted to tell Danny all about it. But he was so busy, and she didn’t want to be a bother. And besides, Magnificent Danny Levi didn’t believe in moral victories. So that evening as the show continued in the background, she opted not to. When he found out, Danny would surely bring it up and she’d cross that road then.

Her mother was another person that didn’t get it. Angie Straussler found the sport of professional wrestling to be barbaric. It was hard to argue with her when her first exposure to the industry was seeing her son-in-law take her daughter’s purse, covertly stuffed with a brick, and smash it into another man’s skull. And so, when she had picked up Adrienne from the St. Pete-Clearwater International Airport, she was less than enthusiastic after she found out why.

“And this isn’t a one-time thing? You’re going back? Ade, are you serious?”

Adrienne was.

She stared at her own reflection in the side mirror of her mother’s stuffy 1999 Oldsmobile Cutlass. There was a bruise coloring her right cheek, but she didn’t mind. Unlike previous ones, she’d wear this one proudly.

“Yes, mom…”

Adrienne’s mother had given birth to her daughter when she was real young. It was a sin to be so prideful but Straussler always enjoyed the compliment that Adrienne and her looked like sisters, sincere or not. Expectantly, that caused Angie to try to rectify her own shortcomings through her daughter’s life. And expectantly, Adrienne rebelled. In Angie’s opinion, Daniel Levi is and will always be the most perplexing decision that her usually smart daughter ever made.

“What about Kaplan? You’ve been there for a long time. Three months ago, you said you were going to be promoted to lead.”

Adrienne slumped in her seat.

“Katy got it.”

“Katy?” Angie scoffed, “Of course. I’m not one to spread gossip but she seems the type.”

Stopped at a red light, Adrienne watched as her mom checked her lipstick in the rearview mirror. She spoke next in a very hushed tone.

“Heard she went to Tampa for an abortion.”

“Mom.”

“I’m just saying.”

“Anyway, I quit.”

Angie did one of those exaggerated double takes with her mouth ajar. She was animated enough for the both of them. Her outcry was incredulous.

“Why!?”

“Wouldn’t let me take time off.”

“Who would? What you’re doing is silly.”

Adrienne shook her head slightly.

“I know you don’t like it but it's different. It's me now. Just me. I can’t explain the rush I felt.”

“No, and I don’t care to hear.”

“That’s fine but this company is going to pay me a thousand dollars per appearance. They pay for my airfare…”

“I saw it on the Youtube. You looked like you had two left feet. Not only that, these sorts of outfits always break promises. The one here would forget to pay you.”

No, they did, Adrienne answered internally. But Danny controlled the finances. He’s real smart like that.

“Like I said, it's different. I had my first ever match and now I have a spot on the next supershow. That’s more money. I think … I could be good at this.”

“There you go, sounding like Danny again, when are you going to—”

“I don’t want to talk about Danny.”

Quickly, she used her sleeve to wipe away at her eyes.

“Because … because it's not about him. I’m not there because of him. I’m there because … it’s something I’ve always had to watch and now I’m doing it. And up in Baltimore…”

From bell to bell, she felt human again.

“…it felt right. I don’t know what is going to come of it. There are some super serious people there. Lived lives I could never fathom. And I’m a nobody from here … but Carnage Wrestling put me against three people who have done something in this business and that must mean something.”

“It means you’ve drawn the short straw, Ade.”

Adrienne considered that. No one expected her to overcome Regina Dal Gato. She was faster, more experienced, and just wanted it more. But something unexpected happened. Adrienne walked backstage, head upright, and there was this feeling. Danny always said that being one of the boys was like a brotherhood. Adrienne couldn’t relate for the longest time. She always felt that she was on the outside looking in and maybe Danny wasn’t as influential as he claimed to be. But, possibly she could join up in due time.

“Probably, mom. But this is unchartered territory for the Levis. I intend to see this through.”

After that, Adrienne just tuned out the noise. Her mother always had an opinion and that opinion was always right. She loved her. She was a good mom but in this one instance, Angie didn’t understand the motives of her only child. Adrienne was that bird that just realized that the cage door was ajar. Flittering over to the edge, her head poked through. Outside, though, the world is so vast and dangerous that why would she leave? It was safe after all.

Borrowing from her limited knowledge of sports sayings, well, safe is death.

In the safety of her apartment, she mused over her next encounter. Three daunting, larger than life individuals she couldn’t even begin to surmise. But she had to try. At least make the effort. Danny never prepared. He’d take one look at whoever it was and he’d dress them down in vicious fashion.

Sitting on the couch, she concluded that wasn’t her style.

Adrienne had watched her previous effort a few times back. Her match, too. In both appearances, she seemed lost at the key moments. How does one defy who they are? Her goal wasn’t to go out there and lose. That’d be pointless. She felt accomplished but eventually, Danny’s sentiment that moral victories are worthless would hit home.

After consuming what info she could about Matt Knox, Jonathan Willis, and this enigma of a woman with half a dozen names to call her - well, One of These Things is Not Like the Other.

Well, that’s okay. She didn’t want to be like them.

But just who was Adrienne Levi?

On some internet forum, there was a thread discussing the biggest losers on the independent scene, Danny Levi was joked about heavily. However, it was agreed that Adrienne was a mildly attractive piece of ass and looked dumb as hell so that’s a plus. Comments like this were often accompanied by ringside pictures that should have hit the cutting room floor. One where she was bent over over the middle ring rope. She had a blue minidress that she’d wear only for Danny during his matches and the photographer thought it opportune to shoot up that dress. The image was captioned: Imagine the Smell.

In Adrienne's most recent review at Kaplan, it stated that she exhibited poor customer service skills and required coaching. Whatever the hell that meant because she still received a whole quarter raise.

On the broadcast, Johnny Vegas had quipped that Adrienne was Carnage Wrestling’s newest loser. Well, Johnny Vegas looked like a hairy orange scrotum. She stifled a giggle. That's too much. But whatever, that’s what happens when she drinks one ...one or two wine coolers.

She didn’t want to be a piece of ass, or a forgettable employee, or a loser.

Not being a loser wasn’t always about just winning. Broken clock’s right twice a day. She suspected that Regina would learn that the hard way. No, Adrienne had to make a shift. She had to be more than what was expected of her.

So she opted out of a third strawberry wine cooler. Hastily, she cleared out Danny’s corner. Adrienne would have to set it back to normal before he came back but this … this was about her. So she chose to display who she wanted to be now.

She printed out a picture of Carnage Wrestling’s logo. She grabbed a 8x10 that she took with the intention to autograph to paying fans. Unfortunately, there was a lack of those these days. It was the sort of ridiculous pose where she had fists raised up like she was ready to fight. Her ring gear was a pair of simple black tights, white boots, and a t-shirt, ironically the Doritos one. She also printed out a color photo of her dive from the top rope. It happened to be the only action shot that was taken that featured Adrienne on the offensive.

She found her newly acquired Carnage Wrestling shirt she may have pilfered from an open box backstage. She put on her cleanest pair of jeans and sneakers. Her eyes popped a little with a modest amount of blue eyeliner.

Moments later, she dusted off a selfie stick that had been collecting dust in the kitchen junk drawer. Resulting in a totally more professional presentation.

“Take two.”

Carefully, she framed herself into the picture. This time, she did her best to look directly at her future audience.

“Hello everyone, Adrienne here. I guess I want to start out by making a distinction. I’ve got one match under my belt and I didn’t get the winner’s purse. But I know this business. A lot more than some would give credit. And I know that my upcoming match at Underground is an absolute honor. Two former world champions. An internationally known multi-talented superstar. And then there’s me.”

Adrienne paused, she knew that she had to make the following statement emphatically.

“I’m not…”

She cleared her throat.

“I’m not just a piece of arm candy, Johnny Vegas. And I’m not just singling out that guy because I know what it looks like on the surface. I’m not here to redeem myself like Mr. Knox. He’s one of those former world champions and I bet he beats himself up because lots of folks only talk about the bad. But he did it and that’s what matters. And I may not be relentless like Mr. Willis. My trials and tribulations aren’t worth mentioning. I smoked a little weed during community college before I dropped out. I was a terrible student, too. My life wouldn’t fill out a pamphlet. I am … unremarkable. And so I could never be as outrageous and spectacular as Melificent Lasciel. I don’t have a lick of musical talent and I’m not very photogenic as you can see.”

She gave a little wry smile.

“But what I am is a professional wrestler. I know, duh, so are all of you. All of you have such lofty goals and aspirations. Jonathan has his eyes set on championship gold. I have a feeling that he may be there sooner than later. Matt looks to settle the score with that grumpy old guy. Mel? I don’t know what she wants but I bet it's something glamorous. There’s this mentality in this business that if you don’t want to be on top, then you don’t belong here. Despite all of that, only a few ever actually reach that pinnacle.”

Confidence floundering, she fought with making such a declaration.

“Maybe…”

Another pause.

“Maybe one day that could be me. Delusions of grandeur, I know. But one loss, or two losses, or losing every single time I step into that ring won’t detract me. And I’m sure you’ve all heard those words before. Recently, too.”

But this was the stark truth.

“Maybe reality will stop me cold in my tracks. However, this match won’t be my Last Ride, my Downfall, or my End of Days. There will be no Redemption off of my name. You’re all going to have to earn that some other time because win or lose, Underground is going to be the night where I show you just who I am.”

In a bit of post cut editing, the piece ended on that shot of Adrienne Levi jumping off the top turnbuckle. Her expression was different than any she had ever displayed. On the surface, it was just gritted teeth and eyes afire with concentration. But it was also pure determination, intensity, and a sense of belonging all rolled into a tidy package.

Was that lightning in a bottle, or could that become Adrienne Levi after all?

#carnage wrestling #fatal4way

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