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burnthatbridge · 29 days

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illicit affairs

buddie | E | chapter 5 of 10 | 12k (of 35k and counting) | just a boy helping his boy bestie figure out gay sex, with a side of infidelity Eddie doesn’t believe in jinxes. But if he did, he would sure think he’d jinxed himself with what he said, and didn’t say, in his therapy session.

Chapter 5: so you leave no trace behind, like you don't even exist

“How are you, Eddie?” Frank asks.

They’re more than halfway through Eddie’s hour-long appointment. Frank has been patient with him, he always is. He’s been Eddie’s therapist for long enough to know when to let Eddie talk about something unrelated as a means of settling in, to know when it’s, in fact, an avoidance technique and he should be pushed.

Their appointments are less frequent than in the immediate aftermath of Eddie’s breakdown. Officially, they meet every two weeks. Oftentimes, with Eddie’s schedule, that’s just not possible. He and Frank occasionally do a phone call, if it’s hard to fit in a face-to-face appointment, but Frank prefers to meet in person. Eddie joked once it’s because over the phone Frank can’t see the fear in his patients’ eyes. Frank hadn’t laughed, but he’d smiled in a way that made Eddie think what he’d said was closer to the truth than is comfortable for said patients, Eddie included.

Eddie has spent the last forty minutes giving Frank an update on Chris’ dating life, his concerns and woes over it. And while that is legitimately something he should be allowed to talk about in therapy, it’s less pressing than a couple of months back when he had just found out about the two-timing — try five-timing — about the Shannon of it all. Now, he probably is using it to delay talking about himself, at least a little bit. And he’s come a long way that he can admit that to himself.

He shifts in his seat, pokes a hand back to prod at the cushion behind him. But he doesn’t need to. As much as everything else about therapy is uncomfortable, the seating in Frank’s office is anything but. And Eddie has been in here often enough to know this is the best cushion for him, works well for when he’s seated ramrod straight or when he’s slumped down. Across the room, Frank waits for Eddie to reply, ever patient.

“I’m good,” Eddie answers, truthfully. He is. Things are, generally, going well. As mentioned, Chris is doing better — he’s more secure and he currently seems to be talking to only one girl in a romantic capacity. Work is going as smoothly as it can for a first responder: Bobby back at the helm, Hen and Chim besties once more, Ravi freed from B-shift, so their core team is stable again. Eddie’s getting on well with his family, his dad consistently trying. He knows there are still sore spots there, and more so with his mom, but it’s the effort that matters to him. He summarizes as much to Frank, who knows all this already.

Frank nods, flips his pen over in his fingers. “And how are things with Marisol?”

read chapter 5 on ao3 or start at chapter 1

#yes this chapter is a week late #yes it's nearly twice the length of the previous one #yes i'd like to say these two facts are related #but actually this is late because canon bi buck was simply too much for me to handle and threw me all out of sorts #anyway we return to your regularly scheduled eddie is useless when it comes to his own heart programming #infidelity fic #buddie #buddie fic #911 #911 abc #911 fic #buddie fanfic #911 fanfic #myfic

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resident-gay-bitch · 1 year

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steve’s pov here :)

prey.

lots of prey.

that’s what eddie knew.

he watched them enter his land through that… thing. that hole in the ground that let off a high pitched sound and kept him in line. it scared him and his brethren. none of them could go near it. it hurts if you do. they’ve all learnt the hard way, whilst trying to escape. it burns your body to touch and turns your brain dizzy.

but the prey passed through it without an issue.

eddie watched from the top of the tree he was perched in, crowded around by his resting family, his cousins and friends. he watched the prey make their way through his world, listened as his master told him to kill.

eddie attacked when they least expected it.

he swooped down and swiped at one of their necks with his claw. he would have gotten it, if that one with curly hair didn’t scream his name.

it sent eddie flying back- he recognised it, the voice. the face.

it wasn’t prey.

it was a friend.

eddie flew away. too scared of what would happen if he stayed.

he couldn’t stay.

his master was mad. beyond mad at him.

he threatened to kill eddie if he didn’t complete his task. he’d send his brethren on the prey and himself.

eddie didn’t want that. he wanted the prey to live, he thought. well… the curly haired one. he didn’t know about the rest. but if not for that curly haired one, eddie might let master carry out that promise. he didn’t like this world. it was cold and dark and he felt dirty and he only remembered pain.

he flew back to his home, to his nest in a place he felt most safe. a safe place that was still standing. his old home, the one with who he thinks is his father from the other world, now destroyed to the hole that was too big and too loud and hurt too much if he flew near it.

his home in the drama room at school. he’d dragged mattresses and pillows and blankets back into the changing room and built himself a nest, collected all his favourite things.

he had a pile for his father, flannelette shirts all piled up on a bunch of random mugs. he had his sweetheart there too. he’d been collecting dice from everywhere he could find them, all different shapes and colours, they were scattered around his nest, and he played with them when he got bored and couldn’t sleep. he had a picture frame shoved there somewhere with a photo of his mother, a flower pressed under the glass that was her namesake. it was the only name eddie could remember; petunia. and he had the mangled old teddy bear she gave him as a baby that he curled up with every night.

but he had his most favourite pile there too, at the place where he lay his head every night. in the pile was a green and white jacket with a name eddie couldn’t read written across the back. there were shirts and two jumpers, a red and a yellow one. he had three odd socks and one pair, and some underwear, and a singular sneaker. he’d taken them all from a large house on the nice looking side of this world, from a room he didn’t like very much, but he remembered the boy that owned all those things was very special to him.

he couldn’t remember his name or his face though, and eddie cried about it every night.

he pottered around his nest, moving his things about and settling down in it. he hurried out and to the other side of his home where he had a pile of things he’d collected that took up too much space in the nest. he sifted through them; some more mugs, a weird al shirt, a pair of drumsticks, some comics, a bunch of action figures, a green ribbon, an old year book, some novels, an acoustic guitar, car keys, a cheer skirt, journals, a lunchbox- all things that made his heart clench to look at, to touch, but he couldn’t remember why.

except for the yearbook.

when he found the yearbook he got so excited he’d stretched out his wings and started flying in the tiny little room. he knocked over a rack of costumes with them, fucked up his nest, and put a hole through the wall. he didn’t care though.

he had the year book almost permanently open to one page. a page he remembered looking at a lot when he was younger. on the page was him, the man that eddie couldn’t remember the name or face of. the one he loved so much. and beside him was another man with eddie’s old face! he’d made it. he remembered making it. he wrote something, but eddie couldn’t read that either.

after finding that year book, eddie looked at the page every day and every night, whenever he could. he often went to sleep with the page open, he’d sometimes just sit there and look at it. he’d draw his claw lightly over the man’s pretty face and sometimes he’d lick it when he particularly missed him.

oh eddie loved him so much.

so that’s what eddie did now. he sat down in his nest and drew over his pretty face and he stretched out his long tongue until it touched the page and then he smiled.

he smiled so much his heart squeezed.

he missed his boy.

but his master was not happy with him. he made eddie go back out to kill them.

eddie promised himself he wouldn’t kill the curly haired one.

he flew out until he found them, and then he swooped down over their heads to give the prey a scare and perched himself atop an electricity pole. he crouched there with his wings hanging heavy down behind him and looked at his next meal.

only, he didn’t attack. not straight away.

there was something familiar about one of them. the one holding a bat over his shoulder, scowling at eddie. he had floppy hair and strong shoulders. eddie thought he’d put up the biggest fight.

but there was something about him.

eddie cocked his head and looked at him some more. looking looking looking. trying to figure him out. he ignored everyone else. the man adjusted his grip on his weapon, ready to swing it at eddie if needed.

eddie moved his head forward because… no…

no it- it couldn’t be.

it was him.

the boy in the picture.

the one he loved!

he straightened his back out in a flesh, sitting up tall, perched on the pole, and he let out a screech of excitement. he hoped the man was just as excited as he was.

his love leered forward slightly, looking ready to fight… to protect. oh, he looked so strong and brave like that, ready to defend his own brethren. eddie admired him so much. he was so beautiful. so strong. so handsome.

eddie stretched his wings out and stood, he let out another thrilled sound because- oh, because he was here! the one he loved was here… in his world! and eddie could have him.

eddie clutched at his heart like he’d just been struck by cupids arrow and fell backwards off the pole, like he was fainting. he was swooning afterall. he hoped to impress this man too.

eddie had to impress him.

so he free fell and right before he hit the ground he stretched his wings out further and lifted himself high into the sky. way higher than he needed to go. he looked down at the one he loved and- oh goodness, he just couldn’t help himself. he tucked his wings around his body and nosedived straight for him.

it’s what he’d seen his family do, when they found their love. one would fly high in the sky and barrel roll into the other, catch them, and take flight again.

it was their mating ritual, so it’s what eddie would do.

he crashed into the pretty golden haired love and had to take a moment to just look at him as he wiggled around on the ground beneath eddie. eddie tired to pin him down, to show him he was safe… it was just eddie. he tried to communicate, clicking his tongue to say “hello, it’s me, i love you” but he didn’t seem to get it.

that was okay.

eddie would show him.

but before he had a chance his wing was struck with an immense amount of pain.

he stretched it out to look, and found a hole clean through it, and he lowered it just enough to see one of his prey, standing there, a gun aimed right at him.

you hurt me, eddie thought, you tore me.

he was going to make her death the most painful. save her for last.

he looked back at his love and grabbed him tight and lifted up info the air. it made him scream, and eddie thought it was a nice sound. similar to his own happy call. eddie really liked this man.

he took him to his home, sweeping through the crack in the roof, down into his little home, and he lay him down in his nest. his love is the only other being allowed anywhere near his home.

the last being to try - his brother and friend - was ripped to shreds by eddie’s own teeth. no one breached these walls again.

eddie laid him down and crawled back to sit by his loves legs, crouched there and waiting. he looked at him curiously. he looked quite different than the picture. he had lighter, floppier hair, and some scruffy fur around his mouth, and he had this thing on his face that made his eyes look a little bigger than usual, and… clothes. in the picture he only had little swim shorts on. eddie hoped his love might take these clothes off soon.

oh eddie thought he was just neat.

the perfect new item to make home of his nest. he’d keep him here forever, that was for sure.

he was eddie’s now.

he looked a little confused, but that was okay. eddie would help him understand anything he needed. all eddie wanted to do was look after his love.

oh. the picture. that would help him understand. that’s how eddie could tell him he loved him.

great idea!

he crawled over to get it, leaving his love in the nest for a little moment. he sifted through some of his other things before retrieving it. he grabbed the book with his teeth, and crawled back over to pretty man, and perched himself as close as possible. he dropped the book between his own feet and pressed his hands on top of it to keep it safe, and waited.

when he turned back around to look at eddie, he freaked out a little. eddie thought it was very sweet. eddie wanted to see every face this man could make, they were all so beautiful. he cocked his head to the side and looked at him some more, trying to figure him out.

to ask if this was okay.

his love held up the jacket with the name eddie couldn’t read. he looked at the jacket, then back at his love, then back at the jacket, then back at his love and he felt warmth bubble up in his chest. he purred, hoping to let his love know what this meant. hoping to let him know he was happy that he was here. that he wanted his love to wear the jacket.

eddie noticed how his love was wearing one thing that meant a lot to eddie himself. a vest. one covered in patches and pins that he used to wear every day. eddie lowered his head to bump his loves shoulder and blinked at him once.

“it’s yours.” his love said, and it made eddie’s heart flutter so much! he loved the sound of his voice. it was so soft and smooth and eddie wished he could talk the same. his love tugged at the sleeve of the vest, “i know, i’m sorry. i hope you don’t mind. it helped ground me on the bad days.”

don’t mind? don’t mind!?

why would eddie mind about that? this was the best day of his life. not only was his love here, but he was here and collecting eddie’s things too.

eddie cocked his head, trying to communicate that of course he was okay with it. that he was okay with anything his love wanted.

“can you understand me?” he asked.

eddie nodded.

“can you talk like me?” he asked again.

eddie really wished he could. he wanted nothing more than to say that he loved him. he wanted to ask his name.

“i’ll take that as a no.” he hummed, and it made eddie’s chest vibrate, “you have a lot of my things.”

eddie wanted to collect more of them.

he dropped the book on his loves lap and watched curiously as he opened it. eddie’s heart was about to leap out of his chest when the man found the page eddie wanted him to see.

his pretty pretty love drew his finger over the page and read out the words eddie had written there many years ago… the words eddie had longed to be able to read or remember, and now he’d know, “by the time you graduate, this will be real, and he will be nice and want you back.”

oh… right.

yes. eddie loved him. he knew now. didn’t he. his love knew and- oh, he was laughing.

eddie didn’t like that. why was he laughing? did he not love eddie too.

eddie screeched at him and pouted because… because why would he laugh? that’s mean. it hurts eddie. it hurts eddie a lot. he would just like to love his love.

oh eddie loved him so much.

he watched with sad eyes as his love realised how much it was hurting eddie, and then he said, “you technically still haven’t graduated, you know?”

oh goodie. his love wanted him too!

he loved him so much he just- oh, he just couldn’t hold back any more. he flicked his tongue out and licked up his loves cheek and it was so much better than licking the picture. this time, when his love laughed, eddie liked it.

this was a good laugh.

“licking? really?”

eddie smiled at him and nodded his head because, yes. of course! he had to show his love and that’s how he did that. that’s what he knew. he hoped his love would lick him back… but maybe that’s not how those creatures showed their love.

that’s okay. eddie would learn eventually.

eddie helped shuffle his love back to cuddle because he didn’t care how mad his master got right now, eddie had his love and he’d finally be able to sleep well. he was sure this would be the first sleep he got without crying since waking up down here, in this world.

he curled up with his teddy and wrapped his wings around his love, curling into his lap and chest. eddie pressed his ear up over his heart to listen to the steady drum beat of it inside. it was one of the best sounds in every world. eddie started to purr again, feeling warm and dizzy against his love. he smelt amazing, and eddie nuzzled his face under the vest to get closer to him.

eddie felt his love pet his head softly and hold him a little tighter. eddie didn’t think he could love something any more than he loved this being right here. he was going to keep him forever. protect him and make sure he was safe, and well fed, and warm. he’d stay here, in eddie’s home, where no one else was allowed to go so eddie could keep him for himself. if he wanted anything, eddie would fetch it for him.

eddie would love him with every fibre in his body and more.

he’d do anything for his love.

he was sure of it.

if only he could remember his name.

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robotsafari · 2 months

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i havent even watched legacy yet but that fucking kh world did some.. unexpected things to me

#beep boop you want fries with that #kingdom hearts #re:kh #re:ddd #sora #quorra #tron #riku #was trying to redesign rinzler’s helmet bc god. its. kinda fucking boring. leaning into the beast more #also teh helmets eyes are supposed to look angry when its down and sad when its up. bwaaa #i heard rinzler acts like a cat. thats soemthing to look forward to when i watch the movie. grins.#the three dots are supposed to be the classic t. btw.#theres four you just cant see the last one.#made sora look more liek his space paranoids look because he needs to retain the 80s swag.#this reads like a change log.#and my good friend quorra. idk if i’ve even posted that redesign b4.#yes im making her quote the ur my pockets eddie post #i think she needs to chew on things. maybe she should maul clu with her fucking teeth.#shes so unorthadox girl to me. do you see my vision.#also dw about riku falling or paralelling tron or anything hes fiiine.#speaking of the falling art. its old. so its inaccurate to how i draw riku now #before my brain was huge basically.#its so funny how i drew this much art for legacy like. i love tron 1982. i havent watched legacy yet but i feel like im gonna hate it.#the kh world was okay but it had a lot of potential and. uh. made me a BIT insane at the last part in sora’s story (EXPLODES)#also this post is tagged re:ddd for. reasons. dw about it.#ANYWAY GN ITS 1 AM. RUNS AT MACH SPEED.

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lovecolibri · 24 days

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Okay. I am relegating myself to making ONE (1) salty post tonight after watching the whole episode (no promises about reblogs tho) so here we go.

Kenny deserves an Emmy, and he ALWAYS delivers on dramatic scenes in a way that makes me physically ache, so I'm not here to wish this episode was LESS about Chim and I want to make that clear.

I talked about how the tone (not content specifically, but TONE) was SO wildly off from what was teased that it threw me for a loop, and I stand by that. But what is really getting to me after sitting with it, is that a wedding episode is supposed to be a celebration of the couple getting married. So why the FUCK did Doug get more time that Maddie? I get having a Doug callback, I really do but some of the stuff he said was SO outta pocket and really stole a lot of the wedding joy because it was so focused on him being a creep instead of Chim focusing on and thinking about Maddie and his daughter and being guided by the ghost of the brother he lost.

I just- Chim loves old movies and karaoke and Buck tried so hard to make a party Chim would love! That we the audience immediately clocked at the first promo was something Chim would love since he's always the one making movie references and Buck and Maddie famously don't know old movies and weren't into pop culture growing up. We could have had an 80s action movie/The Hangover crossover of something wild happening to Chim where he disappears, and then the boys get pushed into hard partying by someone involved in that mess, and waking up and having to retrace their steps to find Chim while Maddie coordinates from dispatch and Chim gets to be the action hero and fight to get home. It could have been stressful and still included some deeply dramatic moments for Chim, while still being fun and centering Chim and Maddie and their love story as the duo of the episode. Instead, we got Doug's abuse of Maddie during their marriage centered in multiple scenes and it just makes me feel icky 🤷🏻‍♀️

Again, Kenny slayed everything and the ceremony was cute (but like, WHO were all those people???? Do they even know any of them??), but we spent three weeks getting promised a VERY-intentionally-styled-like-the-Hangover missing groom episode with a fun party and what looked like Action Hero Chim, only to get something SO dramatically different that it was a little whiplash-y. I have other thoughts about the Buckley Parents 🙄 and about the weird choice to have Buck and Eddie absolutely hammered with no explanation when we have literally never seen any of them even kinda tipsy (of their own volition) but that's for another day. For now, I'll just say, Madney have a hard fought love, but one filled with SO much joy and SO much laughter and fun, and it would have been nice to see more of that played up for their big episode rather than focusing so much on a dead man who beat his wife. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Give Kenny an Emmy tho for realsies.

#911 #howie han #madney #was it good? YES #is kenny phenomenal? YES #should we have had to endure that much doug? ABSOLUTELY not #also catch me crying at buck trying SO hard to come up with something chim likes only for chim to hate it so much 😭😭😭#it made my heart hurt NGL #partly because EYE thought the karaoke/80s theme was chim's idea that he forced buck and eddie into so i was excited to see chim excited #and then he wasn't even though it was things he loves and i don't understand the reason 😭#ANYWAY

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florallylly · 4 months

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i've seen model steve harrington aus. i've seen child steve harrington aus. i present: child model steve harrington

note: this came from my own desperate need to see this conceptualized and i SWEAR i've searched, i just can't find any content with child model steve so. :(

bc little steve harrington was remarkably cherub-like. his large brown eyes and soft pout ensured endless cooing and fussing from his mom's friends. and when he blushed and ducked his head in shyness, they only complimented him more. when he got home that day, his mom smiled at him.

so steve decided that he would put up with the cheek pinching and the squealing. he sat upright in his chair, sitting on his hands so he wouldn't fidget and ruin the image. because he'd do anything to keep his mom smiling at him. if he was being particularly good that day, she'd let him lay his head on her lap on the drive back home.

but everything changed at his father's birthday gala. a nearly eight year old steve harrington sat prim and proper in his seat, but a smile lit up his face--his cheeks round and his dimples showing up. he raised his hand up to cover his giggle, but he couldn't help but laugh at some silly old man with a loose toupee. then he sees his mom approaching, and his face quickly smooths over, going back to the more polite smile he usually adopted when it came to these events.

he'd ruined it. he hadn't continued being the sweet boy his mom wanted. but then, she smiles at him. and introduces him to the man behind her, who says he's a designer. the man holds out his hand, but when steve puts his hand into his palm, he doesn't shake it. the man simply holds his hand, his eyes scanning steve's face. steve tries not to squirm under the attention. but the man nods and smiles at his mom, and he gives two brief cheek kisses to steve, whispering in his ear "you're going to be a star, darling." steve looks at his mom, confused, but she waves him off to continue talking to the man.

a few months later, steve's mom whisks him off on a trip to france. and steve is so excited to go, nearly vibrating in his seat as the airplane prepares to take off. but instead of the eiffel tower and the seine, steve is taken to a studio. he's posed and changed. once again, he's being fussed over, but instead of wealthy socialites, gossiping make-up artists squeal over him. he's "perfect for the shoot" and "the most darling little boy." steve doesn't understand, but his mom is still smiling, so he lets the nice ladies brush powder over his face.

and he looks in the mirror. his hair is a little more tousled and his lips have a slight tint to them and his eyes seem to take up much of his face. he's put into new clothes, and he feels like a doll in their hands. and when he's put in front of the camera, he simply follows the photographer's directions. afterwards, he's bundled into the car and his mom can't stop gushing about how good he was.

apparently, he's a natural. and then she goes back to fussing over him, focusing more on appearance than his behavior now. but she takes him out shopping and they eat at an upscale restaurant along the champs-elysses. and steve is happy.

and then they go back home, and his mom is so much stricter than before. she has him try out all kinds of different hair products, determined to find the best combination to keep it looking shiny and soft. she controls his food intake and what he wears and makes him use weird creams and serums on his face. but this is what makes his mom happy, so he's happy to let her.

his mom is also on the phone a lot more lately, whispering harshly about the quality of brands and steve just assumes she's being picky about the clothes she buys. later, his mom picks him up and holds him, and asks if he'd like to move to italy. she looks at him intently and it's obvious what answer she wants, so steve nods. she smiles and holds him close, and it's the most loved steve has felt in a while.

so they move to italy, and suddenly steve is a lot more busy. he's put in front of more cameras for more people he doesn't know. but he's smiling and pouting and doing whatever they want him to do. his compliant attitude and polite nature have photographers and designers alike singing his praises, and steve always looks to his mom for approval. but she's been arguing with his dad a lot lately, so she's upset more often than not. but that's okay, the make-up artists are always kind to him.

but then one day, his mom takes a phone call in the middle of the shoot. and when it finishes, she's gone. steve goes back in, close to tears, but the make-up artists still hanging around look after him until a car is sent to pick him up. this becomes a trend. and eventually, steve goes alone to his shoots. he's always taken care of by the crew and someone is always there to pick him up, but it's not fun without his mom there.

but he knows that she's always enjoyed him taking pictures, so he continues to do so, hoping that she'll come watch him again sometime soon. and he busies himself with befriending the chatty make-up artists and the bossy photographers and the eccentric designers. and he's such a cute little thing that they can't help but dote on him.

steve is never catapulted into child stardom, as his mom is picky with his jobs, only choosing luxury brands and well known designers for him. but within the industry, they call him the "little prince."

and then steve is catapulted into puberty, but his intense skin regimen prevents him from getting acne, save for the occasional zit. and his diet and religious exercise schedule help maintain his look. and he's still doing remarkably well, especially now that he's fully aware that he is a Model.

and steve has truly grown into his looks. with time, he's grown more comfortable in front of the camera and made numerous friends. nearly all of them are older than him, but they're fun and loud and it fills up the space that normally surrounds him. and they're the ones who get him hooked on american movies. steve remembers living in america, but he's been in milan so long that everything he recalls is vague.

but he watches them and falls in love with the american high school experience. so when he finally catches his mom off the phone and actually in the house, steve asks if he can go to school in america. and his mom laughs. but steve keeps asking, which devolves into begging. and his mother snaps, slapping him across the face and calling him ungrateful. she cries and begs for forgiveness, cowed into shame by steve's desperate attempt to hold back tears.

and so she lets him go to school in hawkins, indiana. an odd choice, but his parents just so happened to own a property there. (in truth, both of his parents expected him to change his mind within the year). but steve finds his place at hawkins high, because even though nobody in hawkins has ever heard of versace, steve is pretty. he's pretty and charming and he knows the right thing to say. after all, he's spent his whole life perfecting his mask.

and even if his mom ended up moving back home with his dad, leaving steve all alone in that big empty house, steve is happy. he's finally hanging out with people his age and high school is so far removed from the glitz and glam of the fashion industry. and he's settled and content with tommy and carol by his side. while he misses his friends back in milan, steve finds himself longing for the clothes more often. hawkins was certainly the opposite of milan, what with the nearest mall being two hours away and only equipped with a macy's and jcpenny.

through it all, steve is determined to be normal. he laughs along with jokes he doesn't quite get and rolls his eyes at carol's cue, and he joins the swim team. and he joins the basketball team. and he goes to parties and kisses girls and wears dumb little polos with his letterman jacket and does everything that he saw in the movies.

but nancy wheeler is different. steve can't forget his time in italy and who he is and was, and he's reminded of his old life in everyone and everything in hawkins. but not nancy wheeler. she's all hawkins and all his. and then the upside down happens.

and then nancy wheeler breaks his heart.

even after three years, his parents continue to ask when he'll go back to modeling, but he's different now. the upside down and billy hargrove beat that starry eyed little kid who thrived in the spotlight. and nancy wheeler proved that adoration and love is fleeting, so what would even be the point of trying anymore? his dad was a little more approving of steve's retirement/hiatus, saying that steve must want to go to college so he can take over the family business.

but when steve doesn't get into college, he's once again badgered by his mom to go back. but he's grown and changed and he's not sure that he can pretend anymore, so he says no. and they cut him off. enter: scoops era.

the measly scoops salary is not nearly enough to cover all of the new bills and expenses steve has, but he's not willing to leave hawkins. so he reaches out to his friends back in italy, and they refer him to their american connections. steve doesn't model at the same level as before, but he poses for a couple of zines and one artist who got a little too handsy at his exhibition. but he's able to make it through until the mall blows up.

this routine continues and he starts working at family video with robin at his side, but he keeps his side job a secret from the kids, using the excuse of visiting his parents to leave town for his shoots. he's not ashamed, but he knows he wouldn't "be normal" anymore if they found out.

but how does he explain his near mental breakdown at the sight of his healing demobat scars. they're raised and ugly, ruining what should have been a perfect body. and even though he uses scar cream everyday, they refuse to fade away completely. and how could anyone stand to be near such an ugly thing when all his life, steve was meant to be pretty? after all, love and adoration is fleeting.

#steve harrington #give me grace i literally do not know how to verbalize all of my thoughts about this #child model au #imagining them finding out bc jonathan or will was interested in some photography art exhibition and steve is literally the centerpiece #everyone FREAKING OUT #robin knew bc OFC robin knew #steve feeling too self conscious to keep his old ads but he knows his mom keeps a record in her office #dustin screaming crying punching the wall YOUVE BEEN FAMOUS THIS WHOLE TIME... AND DIDNT TELL ME....#mike wheeler feeling ill bc is steve actually kind of cool....#italian steve harrington #because OF COURSE italian steve harrington #eddie munson asking steve if he'd ever consider doing playboy #steve going into a very serious answer about his career projection and actually that's an insult eddie. do u know who i am #and eddie is like yeah ur the centerfold in my heart baby #and then steve gets it #to be so clear. steve's mom DOES love him but she's also extremely selfish #that's why she feels bad when she slaps him and concedes to his request #but once she gets over the initial guilt she's like but he was a STAR i was the mother of a STAR

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jetsteelyourheart · 1 month

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Bloodlines Book 4 The Fiery Heart by Richelle Mead

Illustration of Chapter 20

"What are you doing here?" demanded Eddie.

"Saving your ass," said Angeline. "I knew there was something going on."

"I'm not talking to you," he snapped. He threw down the stake and strode past her, toward the entrance of the alley. I followed with my eyes and saw a tall, slim figure standing there, her hair glowing in the light of an overhead lamp. Jill. I remembered the water on the ground turning to mist, and it all made sense.

"You have no right being here!" exclaimed Eddie, coming to a halt in front of her. It was one of the few times I'd ever seen him angry. I'd certainly never seen him angry at her. He cast a glare back at Angeline before returning to Jill. "They shouldn't have brought you."

"I have every right to be here," she retorted. "When Angeline finally convinced us, I knew we had to help. And we did."

Eddie was undaunted. "I don't care what they do. If they want to endanger their lives, so be it. But a princess of her people has no business putting herself in danger."

"A princess of her people has no business sitting off to the side while said people are in danger," Jill returned.

"Do you have any idea what could have happened if--"

"Oh, shut up," she said, reaching for him. He flinched in surprise, but one she started kissing him, the tension left his body. I shook my head and looked away.

"Oh, man," I said to no one in particular. "This night is just full of surprises."

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stagefoureddiediaz · 1 month

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Something something about Buck and learning and or teaching.

Something something about Buck teaching when he really needed to be learning.

I just keep thinking about how the show has increasingly - especially last season - put Buck into the role of 'teacher' - including his coma dream. (i'm using teacher for the lack of a better term!) and how in the aftermath of the coma dream - he's been trying to teach but it hasn't worked - instead he's been learning.

I've been musing on the fact that even back in season 1 Buck has been in a teacher role -

Abby learning to chose herself and go for her happiness,

Bobby learning to let people in and Buck being a major part of that because of their developing father-son type relationship

'teaching' Eddie that he could rely on other people for help

Maddie learning at Bucks hand that she didn't need to keep running, that she could lean on him for support and build a new life for herself

Ravi being tutored by Buck in the fire house

even Lucy being given advice by Buck - teaching her through his own experiences in dumb luck

Buck making himself into a teacher in his coma dream and the idea that all these people he has helped teach teaching him that he has a place with them and that he is important

and so many more examples through the seasons that I won't list or I'd be here forever!

Because there has been a lot of emphasis on teaching and learning since Buck woke up from his coma - he learnt he was good at maths, but then wasn't allowed to help Chris with his maths homework because it would be cheating.

used his maths skills to win at Poker - but got taught lessons even in victory - rather than teaching others lessons (whatever they might have been)

Natalia being interested in him because he could teach her about death and things going south pretty quickly when it became evident that Buck needed to learn how to live again rather than be stuck in death

And now we've had several mentions by Tommy of him teaching Buck things - teaching him to fly, teaching him Mauy Thai, all the way to him being his bi awakening is teaching him about a part of himself he didn't know. Things are turned on their head - Buck is the student not the master now

Even with Eddie this season, we've seen him teaching Buck things - rather than Eddie learning from him - Eddie handing over this really important thing going on with Chris - Eddie knowing that Buck would be a better option - that Chris would open up to him more - is teaching Buck about his importance in the Diaz family - re-enforcing that he is part of their life. Its also Eddie who has had the good advice for Buck this time rather than the other way round.

Something something about 'you like to be the guy with the answers' to Buck becoming the guy with the (maths) answers - only for it to fade away and now he's having to learn

Something something about the tie to Buck and death and the resurrection and how Christ was the teacher up to and immediately after his death and resurrection when he left others on earth to spread his teachings and he ascended to learn at the right hand of god

Something something about how that is the key to happiness and that is what Buck has figured out and that is why his journey to figuring that out has had him wearing the bright blue - because in Christianity - that shade of blue is the colour of the kingdom of heaven (because it is the colour of the sky!) so putting Buck in it at all these key markers of his journey is showing him as being on the road to ascension.

This post is a mess - I don't even know what it is any more! I started with one idea about teaching and Tommy and then more kept coming and we ended up here!!!!

#I know technically that they all teach and learn from each other and that others were also involved in these scenes #but I'm just interested in the fact that the tables have now been turned on Buck specifically and he is now the student #I think thats interesting as a character study - Buck who learnt to survive on his own and teach himself now getting to go back to learning #look here I am - atheist me blabbering on about religious symbolism around Buck once again!!!#Im fascinated in it though - especially in relation to Eddies catholic guilt and the way that the show is using much more #scientific symbolism around him - hearts and guts and the mind - all working organs (or groups of organs)#that have these metaphorical and intuitive attributes attached to them #but all have important real world functions that a human need to survive #and the fact that we've got Buck to this point of 'ascension' and Eddie effectively working on the last of the three - the gut #well I think that is pretty telling - once Eddie has his gut under control/ worked out (catholic guilt) then he will be in a position to #'ascend' as well.#and don't even get me started on the triangle symbolisim within all of this - the holy trinity and the trifecta of heart mind and gut #because they are playing into the triangles this season - literally every where!!!#I feel like at this point if they put Buck in purple (esp if hes wearing it when buddie go canon) - the holiest of colours and #one associated with magic -then I will be the one ascending - because that would be the ultimate #this show is insane!!#it makes me insane - I'm insane!!#evan buckley #eddie diaz #911 abc #911 meta

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