#bc even if i try not to. i just can't stop thinking about it
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ateez reaction to riling them up in public? like maybe with other ppl around n you tryna feel em up under the table or sumn or like, in a movie theater, that sort of thing...
anon i will kiss u on the forehead... bless u
hongjoong doesn't like pda. he wants to keep intimate moments intimate and would give you NO reaction if you tried to feel him up in public. he might even shoot you a look or directly tell you to stop. you'd think he's mad at you until the moment the door closes behind him and you're alone. "What exactly were you trying to do?" he'd ask, walking closer and closing in on you, "Start something you couldn't finish?" And then, just to remind you who's in charge, he'd tie you up. You're excited just to feel his hands on you, but don't get your hopes up - you're not gonna get to cum for at LEAST an hour. "How does it feel to be teased? It's not fun, huh baby?"
seonghwa... i actually think he would really love this. first of all i think he might be a bit of an exhibitionist so if you feel him up in front of one of the other members that's a HUGE plus. idk idk i have this very clear image in my head of seonghwa making eye contact with and smirking at the members while he's getting his neck kissed idk idk... anyway. as an aries venus this man probably LOVES quickies, so feeling him up in public would almost always lead to you bent over a sink in some sleazy public restroom, his hands all over you and his lips against your ear, saying shit like "This is what you wanted, hm? Pretty little slut." God and then he LOVES putting your panties back on and making you go about the rest of your day with his cum dripping out of you.
yunho plays along with it. the second he feels your hand brushing against his thigh at the movie theater, he leans over and presses his lips directly to your ear. "What are you doing, pretty girl?" He'd smirk, knowing damn well what you're doing. Well, two can play at that game. he'd put his arm around you, starting by stroking your hair and ear, then brushing the back of his fingertips down your neck. once you're nice and covered in chills, he'd gently grope the side of your breast, smirking and kissing the side of your head when you squirm. by the end of the movie, you're so worked up that you forgot the whole thing was your idea. but don't worry, yunho's gonna remind you of that every few minutes when he's overstimulating you at home later. "Come on, sweetie. You can cum one more time for me, can't you? You were so needy for me earlier."
i'm picturing a very specific scenario with yeosang. walk with me. you're at the mall with him and when you walk past a lingerie store, you think it's the perfect opportunity to tease him. you ask him to go to the store with you and he nods, trying to act as chill as possible about it. that is until you're holding up pretty sets against your body, asking yeosang if he thinks they'd look good on you. he'd be pretty quiet but he'd give you his honest opinion, blushing through the whole ordeal. your mall trip ends shortly after that because yeosang is suddenly in a huge rush to get home, begging you "Please put that red one on for me" as soon as you're home. have i mentioned i think yeosang loves lingerie? bc i do. "Drove me crazy to think about you wearing all of those pretty things for me," he'd breathe, biting your neck, "Just so I can make a mess of you in them."
god there's something so romantic about san. i really think teasing touches and stolen kisses are just things that come with loving him. even if you're just at a cafe having coffee and chatting, your fingertips brushing up and down his arm while you talk to him just feels so comfortable and right. he's the type to pull you into an empty alley and press you to the wall and kiss you with everything he has in his body just because he felt like it. i'm telling yall... post date sex with san goes CRAZY because you will have spent the entire date subconsciously working each other up. "You know just how i like it, baby. You know just how to make me feel good," he'd groan through slow, passionate strokes and deep kissing </3
mingi's first reaction is to get giggly. i think his body is so sensitive and he's a little bit ticklish, so feeling your hands on particularly sensitive parts of his body might make him a little squirmy. but just be patient, be gentle and keep going because in a few minutes he'll mellow out and really allow himself to feel your touches. his eyelids might get a little heavy, his eyes might glaze over a bit but he's in heaven allowing himself to be loved on. "Doing okay, handsome?" you'd ask and he'd snap out of it a bit. "That feels nice." he'd nod, a dopey smile on his face. ask him if he wants more and he'll be home and underneath you in a matter of minutes - a moaning, panting mess who loves nothing more than being the center of your attention.
we're kidding ourselves if we say that wooyoung is anything other than the one who would be teasing you. this man is THE teaser. was quite literally born to tease. he'd constantly be coming up with excuses to try to rile you up - sucking ice cream off your fingers after it dripped down the cone and onto your hand, running his hand up your thigh while you're trying to watch tv, slapping your ass when he walks past you, the list goes on. he wants to see just how far he can push you before you break. "What are you gonna do about it, huh? You gonna punish me? Or are you gonna admit to yourself that you liked it, hm?" yeah that's wooyoung.
jongho just wants to make sure your needs are taken care of </3 as soon as you start trying to feel him up it's "Hm? What's gotten into you, baby? Do you need me?" and best believe he will prioritize your needs over ANY function he's at. the minute you nod your head or give him that desperate look, he has you in the passenger seat of his car with his hand on your thigh. "I'm gonna turn you into a brat if I keep giving you whatever you want whenever you want it," he'd smirk, kissing you and sliding his hands up your skirt, "But how am I supposed to say no to you when you're this damn cute all the time?"
#i need all 8 of them in such different ways... potentially at the same time#ateez hard hours#ateez reactions#ateez imagines#ateez smut#ateez x reader#ateez fanfic#bunny's mailbox 📬#mdni
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lays down and kicks my feet, tell me some thoughts you have about satoru, draws circles on your blog with my finger
HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII JAZZ HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII:3333333333 IT'S SO GOOD TO SEE YOU HEREE HEHEHEHHEEE i have a bunch of smaller headcanons for him i hope that's what you were looking for!!!!!!!!
HE DROOLS WHEN HE SLEEPS!!!!!!!! like actually drools. he also snores but the snoring is so fucking cute??????????? i hate him why is everything he does always so perfect?????????? bro can't even fucking drool and snore in a bad way smhhhhhhhhh
HE LOVES WATCHING YOU DO "HARD WORK"!!!!!!!!! and by "hard work" i mean shit like carrying around heavy things and idk putting together furniture or smth lmao. it most definitely turns him on too.......... there's just smth abt your dirty clothes and your sweat and your concentrated face and he loooooves when you tell him that you don't want his help!!! he always offers bc he's a Gentleman like that even though he knows you don't necessarily need it. but the way you just go "no-no, i got it." gets him going!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! he wants youu!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! he's bringing you drinks like he's a proper malewife and then proceeds to just admire you while you work lmao.
HE LOVES CALLING YOU!!!!!!!!! calls you over the smallest things. he just wants to talk to you and he wants to hear your voice!!!!!! some of the calls are literally just minute long (and that's only bc he spends 30seconds on saying that he loves you), while some calls are hours long. oh and he absolutely adores if you do the same. he wants you to call and send voice messages!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LOSES HIS SOCKS ALL THE TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and he steals yours btw. he's constantly going "baaaaaaaabee! have you seen my sock?!" while the said sock is literally sitting on the chair right next to him SMHHH ok but when you show it to him he just turns to you with a dopey smile and gives you a sloppy, haste little kiss, mumbling how he doesn't know what he'd do without you............... i wanna marry him jazz i wanna marry him
LOVES KISSING YOUR TUMMYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! he's always smiling while doing it too. you could just be lazing on the couch, scrolling on the phone and he's crawling on top of you. he pushes up your shirt just so he can see and feel your skin before pressing light, gentle kisses on you. if you peek at him from under your phone, you'd just find him staring back at you with sparkling eyes.
HE DOESN'T LIKE TEA???????? idk this just feels right okay... don't judge me i am an avid tea drinker so i am upset abt this too. no matter how much honey or sugar you put on it, he's always scrunching his nose at the taste. he is willing to try different ones just for you but i really feel like he's not a fan of any of the flavours. (FLAVOUR???? TEA FLAVOUR???? idk english is weird ok)
(he knows exactly how you like yours though. suguru has taught him how to make good tea, so satoru relishes in making you smile whenever he surprises you with a cup!!!! he knows when you want it too; he's a bit of a mind reader honestly. you sit down on the couch and he's already marching into the kitchen with a mission. it's his love language<33)
SHOWERS EVERY MORNING!!!!!!!!!! i think he loves showering. just overall. it gives him so much energy and it makes him feel so good, so fresh - it's the best way to start his day!!!!!!!!!!!!!! also sings in the shower. or more like yells in the shower. a lot. he's dumb and i love him. and then he always steps out of the bathroom with wet hair and just like a pair of pyjama pants on and he smells so fucking good aaaand it makes you wanna get him all dirty again!!!!! i said what i said.
(he sometimes just leans on the doorframe as he's brushing his teeth and just grins at you knowing full well that you wanna EAT HIMMM)
OKE I THINK I'M GONNA STOP HERE BEFORE I FULLY LOSE IT!!!!!!! BUT WAHHH I LOVE TALKING ABT HIM SOOO SO MUCH THANK YOU FOR DROPPING BY AND THANK YOU FOR INDULGING ME JAZZ<333333333333333 I HOPE YOU'RE HAVING AN AMAZING DAY MY LOVEE MWAH MWAH MWAHMWAH!!!!!
#MY BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#HE'S SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO BOYFRIEND#SOOOOSO BOYFRIEND#IT'S CRAZY#HE'S LITERALLY A LOVERBOY#LIKE HE'S JUST MEANT TO BE A LOVERBOY#!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#my sweet angel#angel boy#jazz <3#friends!!#mickey is daydreaming#gojo#gojo headcanons#gojo fluff#gojo satoru
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Cuz I Loved You
DBF!Joel Miller x Reader
word count: 1.6k
warnings: light smut (nothing too crazy), touch of angst, heartbreak, Joel being a dick, plot twist ending, blue text is flashback from Joel's pov, pink text is flashback from readers pov
note: yes- this is based off the new Joel pic along w alittle help from @/corrodedcorpze on twitter who had the idea and yes i asked to write this before i did bc we don't steal ideas in this house
Music was playing, people were talking and enjoying themselves, and your dad was having the night of his life. He never really liked celebrating birthdays but your mom convinced him otherwise.
You were running late as usual, stopping and getting the few things that had already run out at the party. As soon as you pulled into the driveway of your parents house you saw his truck. You felt your heart drop to your asshole. It had been months since you last saw or even spoke to Joel. Why did he have to be here?
You walked through the house, leaving the supplies in the kitchen before walking to the backyard. You spotted your parents and walked over to them, completely ignoring everyone else.
If I don't see him I won't have to talk to him.
Joel's laughter quickly died down as he looked over Tommy's shoulder and saw you. His eyes quickly roamed your body- you had on your favorite red sweater- the same red sweater Joel had got you for your birthday and a pair of black leggings. You looked beautiful as ever.
“Joel.” you gasped, pulling the knitted fabric out of the bag.
“It's the one you pointed out in that window in town.”
“Oh honey thank you so much. It's beautiful.”
“Cmon try it on. Wanna see how it looks.”
“Okay.” you smiled, standing up from the couch and replacing your t-shirt with the sweater. It fit you perfectly. It was a bit baggy but by the look on your face, Joel knew you still loved it.
“Beautiful.” he smiled, gently pressing his lips against yours. “But I think it'll look better on my floor.” he smirked, hands sliding up your sides under the sweater.
“Well let's try it out.”
“Joel.” Tommy called out, pulling Joel's head out of the clouds.
“Sorry what were we talking about?”
You got up from the table your parents were sitting at and glanced over, making eye contact with Joel. His heart sank as he saw your smile disappear because of him.
He looked good- so good that it hurt. He grew his hair along with his beard- covering the patches of skin you kissed all the time. You could tell he aged some but really he looked like the same man you fell in love with.
“What's all this?” Joel asked, eyes glancing over the dining room table.
“Well you told me you were working late so I'd thought you'd enjoy a hot meal.” you said as you poured a glass of whiskey and handed it to him. “Plus since we can't do date night this weekend I thought tonight was good.”
“I coulda put Tommy in charge.”
You let out a laugh. “Joel Miller don't make me laugh. You know good and well leaving Tommy in charge is the reason why you have more gray hairs then brown.”
He chuckled and kissed you softly. He pulled away and looked into your eyes for a moment, smile still spread across his lips.
“I love you.” he whispered. You were surprised. You were always the one to say the L word first in relationships but Joel beat you to the punch.
“I love you too.”
“Sweetie?” your mom called out, making you look over at her. “Oh sweetie…” she whispered, reaching up and wiping the tear that rolled down your cheek with the pad of her thumb.
When did you start crying?
“Come on. Let's go inside for a minute.” she grabbed your hand and walked you into the house.
“Mom it's fine. Just my allergies acting up.”
She laughed. “I wasn't born yesterday.” she handed you a glass of water. “Seeing him must be hard huh?”
You felt the heat go to the tip of your ears. “H-How did-”
“A mother knows. And after you two broke it off you stopped coming around and Joel was nothing but a mess. Sarah was calling your dad left and right because she couldn't get ahold of him.”
You couldn't lie to yourself, hearing Joel was a mess was oddly comforting. The sounds of his footsteps approaching the kitchen made your mom go quiet. She looked up at Joel and then back over at you.
“Do you want me to stay?” your mom whispered.
“No it's fine…”
“Okay… I'll be outside if you need anything.” she said to you, giving her a quick nod before she walked out of the house, leaving you and Joel alone for the first time in months.
“How have you been?” he muttered, finally breaking the silence after about 5 minutes.
“Fine. You?”
“Fine.” he replied.
“Good.”
“That's all you're gonna say?” he scoffed.
“Well you had a mouth full to say the last time I saw you.” you crossed your arms over your chest, digging your nails into the palms of your hands and repeating yourself not to cry in front of him.
He opened his mouth, about to say something, when the sliding back door opened and people walked in.
“Can we go somewhere private?” you gave him a small nod and led the way upstairs to your old bedroom, closing the door behind both of you.
“Look I'm sorry…”
You scoffed and rolled your eyes. “If 'I'm sorry’ is all you have to say I think I'll be on my way now.”
“Would you let me finish a sentence?”
“No Joel I will not! You don't deserve my time, you don't deserve to even be standing in front of me, speaking to me.” you yelled.
“I don't deserve it?” he yelled back. “You're fucking joking right?”
“Does it look like I'm laughing? You broke up with me, Joel Miller. You were the one that said it was too much. You were the one that wanted out. Not me.”
“Because you wanted all this life I couldn't give you! Do you not understand that I'm more than twice your age? I don't want to start over!”
You faced away from him, quickly wiping your eyes with your fingers.
“Don't cry…” he said in a soft tone.
“I am crying Joel. I'm crying cause I loved you and I hate you for that.” He walked over, gently placing a hand on your shoulder.
“I'm sorry.”
“Fuck you and your sorry.” you walked towards the door but he grabbed your wrist, spinning you around to face him.
“Fuck you Joel! Let me go.” you placed your hands flat on his chest and tried pushing him back but he wouldn't budge. “Fuck you.” you tried pushing him off again but no movement. You stopped for a moment, staring into his eyes- those dark brown eyes that you loved so much. He leaned down, just one move away from pressing his lips onto yours.
“Fuck me.” you whispered. He didn't hesitate. He pressed his lips onto yours, his hands sliding down your curves and around to the small of your back, pulling your body closer to his. You reached up and tangled your fingers in his curls at the nape of his neck.
God you missed this but you knew this was a bad idea. There were nights where all you dreamed about was this. But no matter how much of a bad idea it was- you didn't wanna stop.
You both stripped down to nothing and he picked you up by the backs of your thighs, wrapping your legs around his waist. It took him no time to bottom out inside of you, both of you groaning at the feeling.
“Fuck I forgot how much you felt like heaven baby.” he groaned, bouncing you up and down on his cock while thrusting up into you.
“God I missed you so much Joel.” you moaned, digging your nails into his shoulders.
“I missed you so much more baby girl.”
It was like you had stepped into a time machine and went back. The sweet praises he whispered, the way his massive hands roamed your body as his thrusts became sloppy. The way you moaned his name on repeat, the way you always had to be touching or kissing him while he put you in this euphoric state.
It had been so long for both of you, you both came before either one of you wanted it to be over. You stayed in his arms for a moment, trying to catch your breath and gather your thoughts over what just happened.
“I umm… Gotta get going.” you said as you dropped your legs from his waist and got redressed.
“Yeah me too. Got a meeting in the morning.”
Before you walked out of the room he grabbed your hand again.
“Are you free this weekend?” he asked. You let out a small sigh and shook your head.
“Joel I'll never stop loving you but it took me everything in my power to get over you. I'm sorry but it's best that we don't speak again unless we have to.”
“Baby-”
“I'm sorry.” with that you walked out of the room, leaning Joel alone.
— • —
Weeks had gone by since you last seen Joel and you've never felt better. That is until you got a stomach bug. Your head had been in the toilet for the last few days and the smell of food just made you even more nauseous.
You were laying on the cool tile floor of your bathroom, not having the energy to get up and go to your bedroom, when your eyes caught a glimpse of the unopened tampon box sticking out from under the sink.
3 minutes. 3 very long agonizing minutes. Once the timer on your phone went off you looked on the bathroom counter to see what your future would hold.
“Oh you've got to be fucking kidding me.”
beta'd: @clawdee @nerdieforpedro @iron-strangers @dancingtotuyo thank you all ily <3
divider: @saradika-graphics
#joel miller x reader#joel miller x you#joel miller x y/n#joel miller x plus size reader#joel x reader#dbf!joel#joel miller#pedro pascal characters#new fic#joel tlou#joel x you#joel x y/n#dbf!joel x reader#the last of us#tw smut#tw angst
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eerna what's going on in s3 bridgerton your posts and answers making me scared to watch on my life lmao
pls don't hate me, Colin lovers, but I was told by a friend who read the series that he's more fun and chill in the books and also i just....find Polin from even s1 is kinda uhhhhh?awkward?? cuz he's kind of unnecessarily serious and so not chill in the previous seasons?? maybe i don't see his appeal because I'm no Penny but i do not see his appeal in the show
so rn i haven't even watched it and seeing your posts is making me moreeeeeee 😶🌫️ it's okay give us the cringey details
Nsbysbbsb NO WORRIES!!! I have a weirdly big amount to say about this show bc I am no longer suffering as much as I did in s1 and 2. Prepare for an essay on my feelings on Polin and thank you for enabling me.
Ok so Colin. Not saying your friend is wrong bc I didn't read the book, but p much everyone I saw talking about it said Colin was very angry and aggressive in it, and for NO REASON since he's supposed to be the "calm brother". I'm glad that the show let him get upset, but never the way he was in the books/Anthony was in s2, where I legit worried about Kate's safety sometimes. Colin was my fav Bridgerton brother bc he was totally different from all the other men on the show, calm and silly and romantic.
Thar being said!!! I never ever thought of him as a GOOD love interest, and s3 only made it worse. First off, yeah, s1 and 2 do NOT show him and Pen as friends nearly enough to warrant the speed of their connection in s3. I blocked s2 from my memory bc I hated it So Damn Much so I can't 100% stand behind my words, but I don't really remember many friendly scenes with the two of them that didn't feel like he was just entertaining his sister's bestie? I remember he once danced with her, and he sent her letters from his travels, and that's it. Then in s3 we are supposed to believe Pen knows him soooo well, she sees through his tricks when no one else does, he can't stand losing her friendship when she stops talking to him. How, when the impression I got from their relationship was "oh she is clearly silly in love and he doesn't care about her enough to notice"!!!
And s3... Oh boy. Colin gets his "glowup" and becomes a rake bc Bridgerton writers would probably spontaneously combust if they wrote a virgin male lead. We see him flirt and smash other women and it is always so so so awkward. I've seen people trying to rationalize it as "Oh he is supposed to be pretending, oh we are supposed to find it cringe" but NO, he is objectified the exact same way Simon and Anthony were, and we as the audience are supposes to think it is sexy. To be fair, Pen finds it concerning but I think that has more to do with the amount of silly, vapid women constantly swarming around him. So now we are even FURTHER away from seeing any reasons why the two of them would be friends. And then we get hit with the "Colin teaches Pen how to find a husband" plot, and oh my god it is so bad, IT IS SO BAD, they have like 2 lessons across 1 episode before they are busted and stop and he literally taught her NOTHING she IGNORED HIS ADVICE AND FIGURED IT OUT BY HERSELF but everyone treats him like a war hero for taking one for the team and teaching the poor unlikeable social reject how to act. We also have the stupid scene where she is criyng begging him to kiss her because she is convinced otherwise she would die without being kissed, and he is trying to elegantly avoid it, and oh my god, I hated this, it is framed as cute and romantic but it is so uncomfortable and bad. AAAAAAAA. Anyway. Then there is this hilariously horrible incident where he saves her from a feral balloon, and if you are wondering wtf am I talking about, its because it is really bad and written like a Scary Movie slasher scene. There are exactly 3 moments that I liked, and ALL of them were bc Colin seemed very lost and desperate. First was when Pen told him they should stay away from each other after the scandal of them hanging out came out (which I liked bc if it were any other girl, some unhinged character would force them to marry, but since it was Pen they were like "Well obviously it's true there was nothing untowards happening it is just cringe haha loserrr"), and he looked like he stopped comprehending English. The second was when he was confessing his feelings, he got on his knees and looked like he was about to cry and I thought that was sweet! Well, he did mention torture which is a very ugly word to use in such a speech, but whatever. The third was after the Infamous Carriage Scene when he says something silly and the two giggle together and I was like PLEASE WHERE WAS THIS ENERGY IN S1 AND 2!!
And may I just say!! The actual Bridgerton Glowup one was PEN and NOT COLIN. In s1 and 2 you could tell she was pretty, but in s3 they made her so damn beautiful that my friends and I would go "Oh wow" several times per episode. And it's not only the clothes, they would put her in rooms where she pops out and sparkles and frame her in shots just perfectly. Idk why they only gave her 1 alternate love interest and then shot her Like That, there should have been at LEAST one more guy following in Debling's trail. Now she's the hot one in the relationship so I can't buy her desperation for Colin's approval or society's perception of Colin as a charity in any way.
With all that said. I think this is the best season of Bridgerton proper. It still isn't something I'd enjoy unironically, but at least it is neither a horrible age gap dynamic feat. SA nor a horrible disgusting juggling of sisters feat. murderer vibes. The only thing I'd say is worse than it used to be is the clothes, which are slowly creeping towards The Reign level of ahistorical and bad.
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punk!soap metalhead!ghost brain blast!!!
ghost trying so hard to get soap out of the bad parts of the scene bc he's starting to get pulled in by the shadows, a group of wannabe anarchists that stand for nothing except themselves, but soap loses his shit; laying into ghost for daring to try and "save" him
no one's ever been there for him when he needed them; no one ever offered him support or a soft place to land, why the hell would he want ghost's help when he's perfectly fine on his own? (when he’s always had to be?)
"you think i can't make my own decisions? well fuck you, ghost, who needs a washed up piece o’ shite like you!"
he doesn’t talk to ghost for days, doesn’t let himself acknowledge the hole he’s left behind until he's getting pissed with the shadows one night in an abandoned house and graves starts waving around the gun he snuck through customs and it accidentally goes off, grazing soap's temple
he's never heard anything so loud, even at all the shows he’s attended and there’s so much blood; it's getting in his eyes, running down his neck and soaking into his clothes and he’s frozen. graves and all his shadows bolt after hearing the gunshot, worried about cops finding them and they leave him there; staring at the growing puddle at his feet
soap's panicking; half-blind, blistering pain lighting up his head and he can't think about anything beyond how much he wants ghost
ghost's been sulking at his flat since soap blew him off; pissed at soap for going off on him when he just wants to help but still worried about the punk. he doesn’t want him going down the same road as him; doesn’t want him to repeat his mistakes when he could save himself so much suffering and he almost doesn't answer his phone when it buzzes on the couch
he lets out a ragged sigh as he picks it up; raking a hand over his shaved head when he sees the bubble emoji and contemplates letting it ring out. contemplates answering with a growl; something a younger, crueler version of him would spit. in the end, he decides on silence and puts the phone to his ear just before it can stop ringing
he almost breaks it when he hears soap choke out, "i've been shot."
he's out the door in a heartbeat, running down the stairs because the lift is too slow; trying to get more information out of him but he can't get anything out beyond a repeated, "i've been shot."
he breaks every law there is as he speeds to soap's location; visions of his cold, bloodless corpse staining his mind's eye. the only thing keeping him calm are the strangled breaths from the other end of the line; he's not dead, he can work with not dead, this isn't tommy, soap won't end up like tommy-
ghost screeches to a halt outside a random alley and throws himself from the car when he sees soap collapsed against a garbage bin. he's covered in blood, soaked, just like that night, it's everywhere and he's not moving, he's not moving-
“johnny!”
he skids to his knees and fits his hand under his chin to check his pulse… but his heart beats strong under his fingertips and soap's eyes flutter open; flooded with blood but conscious and alive
the second he registers ghost in front of him, he’s reaching out for him; babbling apologies over and over, "you were right, i'm sorry ghost, i should've listened; i'm sorry, i'm so sorry."
ghost just gently hushes him, cupping his face heedless of the blood. "that doesn't matter now, johnny. we're gonna get you all fixed up, yeah?"
soap’s hands fist in his shirt, clinging to him. "i got shot, ghost," he says again; lost and smaller than he's ever heard from his punk and it's been years since he's felt this kind of rage but he doesn't let a drop of it touch his voice
“i know, lad. i know. gonna let me take a look at it? make it right?"
soap finally nods, his stuttering apologies coming to a halt and ghost runs back to his car to get a towel. he presses it to soap's skin, trying to soak up as much as he can so he can get a proper look; cooing assurances as soap absently hisses in pain the closer he gets to it
it's only a graze and something in his chest unravels; old fears and grief settling as the shallow wound continues to gush into the towel
ghost slumps, pressing his forehead into the top of soap's head and takes a second to just breathe. “‘s’alright, johnny; it’s not even that bad, not even that bad,” he promises, low; spoken more to himself than soap
his hand starts to grow damp and he forces himself to his feet, gathering up soap and getting him into his car. he puts the towel in his hand and presses it against the wound, trying to coax him through his shock to put pressure on it so he can drive
soap curls up in the passenger seat; eyes distant, seeing nothing and ghost has to tighten his grip on the steering wheel so he doesn't turn around
soap is the priority
he has to get him home; has to get him cleaned up and safe
then he can go hunting for the gutless shadow that hurt his punk
#this was just me wanting to give soap his post mw3 head scar ngl#tw implied past suicide#god if soap gets real mean with it. 'you dont give a shite about me! this is just you trying to save your stupid brother!#well guess what ghost?! hes fucking dead and smothering me aint gonna bring him back!’#and its the only thing he couldve said that would make ghost let him walk out the door#ghosts been here before. he knows how impossible it is to help someone that doesnt want to be helped but he cant let soap go#he cant go down that road again. cant let it be just to walk into soaps flat one day and find him in a bloodsoaked bathtub#when soap comes out of his shock he finds ghost slowly and methodically cleaning his leather jacket#hes trying hard to remain calm and clearheaded#trying not to fall back into old habits#but theres a reason hes called ghost#bc the second he stops looking after soap is the second he storms out to find graves and wring his neck#soap pushes back so hard against ghost trying to help him bc in his head being ‘saved’ or ‘better’ means being changed#bc the only help hes ever experienced has been conditional. ‘we will help you if you go to college. if you stop art.#if you change your entire being’#he cant process that ghost wants him the exact way that he is bc no one ever has#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#we’re a team. ghost team#soapghost#ghostsoap#ghoap#soap cod#john soap mactavish#ghost cod#simon ghost riley
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Yeah I wasn't sure if you're okay with leaks and spoilers so I tried to be vague. It's alright, I'll wait till you're seen the chapter! Do you typically read the official translation on Sundays/Mondays or fantranslations that come out 1-2 days after the leaks? There's another thing I noticed actually, I'd like to think that it proved my theory right? I'll save that for later as well.
Oh yes please read The Path To Insanity, on AO3! I highly recommend it. It's so good to the point where I couldn't stop thinking about it for few days lol.
Hmm I think so, most of us have been suffering after some Bad Shit™ happened and I think you'll be affected too. Sending you positive vibes in advance! It's good that you're actively avoiding leaks because the fandom is literally imploding rn, it's chaos everywhere. Though surprisingly it didn't hit me as hard as I thought it would. I think it's due to the fact that I'm too busy being conflicted at how it was executed and stressed over how future chapters would turn out so I don't really have the capacity for sadness atm.
I wonder what you'll think after you've read it. Like personally I found it pretty haphazard and laughable lmao. It just feels strange and surreal in a bad way, maybe Gege meant to set tone like this on purpose? Idk. This chapter has a vastly different vibe from the rest of the manga to me so I'm trying to refrain myself from being reactionary and impulsive like others. I'll wait for Public Enemy #1 (Gege) to continue the story instead lol, based on some context clues there's still a slight chance that this might be just another sick and twisted joke from that demonic cat. Hopefully. I wanna beat his ass though he'd better sleep with one eye open
i usually just read the chapter on sundays when it comes out (which is kinda funny bc i DO read the fan trans too haha). but im gonna be honest, im considering reading the scanlation earlier this time agdkdhskd. i'll see what i do dgfdgd
but well. even tho i havent seen the leaks i do know What Happens (there's quite literally no way to not know, it's everywhere). bc oh boy is it imploding. yesterday i decided to take a small peek into twitter and it was. on fire. i closed it immediately, i was not gonna deal with all that csjdhdjd. but my tumblr's been pretty peaceful! it's so easy to avoid things here if u have the tags filtered, tho even then, i just haven't gotten so much of it on my dash anyways
and about the last thing u say, from the little things i came across, i did see that there were mixed feelings about the chapter, but as i haven't actually seen the leaks i can't really comment. so yeah ill come back to give u a proper reply after ive read the chapter!! :D
AS FOR THE PATH TO INSANITY I STARTED READING IT YESTERDAY ACDJHDJSH. ive only read 2 chs but GDJDH EXTRA BRATTY TEEN GOJO WITH SUKUNA!!!!! lately I've just been so into specifically that, so yeah im enjoying it <3333
#f.ask#but yeah anon i am verymuch aware of what happens. thank u for the positive vibes im really gonna need them 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#truth is even yesterday. i was out of it. sure i haven't seen the leaks but just knowing that it happens. had me so gloomy and sad#i was on the verge of crying so many times just thinking about it 😭😭😭😭😭😭 but i stopped myself bc i decided to have a proper crying#session when i actually read it agdkdhsjfhjd#part of me starting to read TPTI was literally to distract myself and not think about 236#bc even if i try not to. i just can't stop thinking about it#jjk leaks#jjk
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something very horrifying about the concept of Thor but not Loki being told that Loki is Jotun when the brothers are old enough to understand the importance of the secret
#so he gets to watch Loki be unfavoured or try to do things and HE KNOWS WHY#but Thor can't SAY anything about it bc he's not supposed to#and Thor obviously has no way to reconcile that Loki is Jotun which means Jotun can't possibly be plain monsters#so Thor and Loki both keep badmouthing the frost giants#Thor gets to watch Loki hate on the frost giants while knowing Loki is one and idk something about that doesn't sit right with him#Thor basically gets to watch Loki fail at things and to Thor it's like 'oh yeah of course he's not as good or doesn't fit in'#he gets to watch and learn bad war stories and that's just how they learn about how horrible the Jotnar are#and i think occasionally Thor would stop to really process that fact#but most of the time Thor is just like. yeah that's a thing but it's not like it matters#even tho Loki being Jotun totally IS an important thing#he's just used to ignoring that it's not since he'd been told pretty far back#and it was apparently never relevant to their parents to inform Loki so *shrug*#ALSO ALSO Loki finding out so long after and being devastated and ''they told you of my parentage did they not?''#but make it Thor 1#make it happen when Loki goes to Earth to visit Thor too hjsvfdsh#Loki: I have reason to believe I'm not related to any of you by blood.#Thor: uh well that'd be a little hard wouldn't it#Loki finds out that Thor knew he was adopted/Jotun before him too#lets get that breakdown moving along
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every time you see news about an athlete competing while injured and everyone's reactions are praising them like a hero bc that means they actually care about the team/sport/competition or whatever, imagine me as a dog barking at an evil creature in a horror movie. thanks
#the day we STOP glorifying pain i will finally know peace#try being in pain 24/7 !!!!! then tell me again it's a heroic and morally good !!!!!!! also fuck off#it's not heroic it's not good it's not manly it's not caring about winning what it IS is dangerous and reckless#and risking permanent damage and a disability#and i bet you fuckers would then start complaining about that same athlete 'underperforming' and 'not putting in enough effort' and shit#when maybe. MAYBE. if they'd taken care of the injury when it first arose that shit wouldn't have got worse and become a Big fucking problem#to be clear when i say you i mean a vague general you i see this all the time and rn it's aimed at no one in particular#and also i'm not blaming the athetles who keep competing through injuries i don't think it's their fault#i'm blaming these shit fucking reactions that everyone KEEPS having when it happens. pundits commentators fans etc#everyone is always praising these athletes these PEOPLE for how brave and daring they are for ignoring the pain they're in so they can help#the team or get a chance to win a race or a medal or a trophy or whatever#i understand it's not an easy or fun decision as a pro athlete to give up a chance at winning something#but i think we should DEFINITELY still encourage them to fucking give it up!!! even if it sucks even if it's a big win they're giving up!!#bc the risk of the injury getting worse and permanent and fucking up their career their LIFE for a very very long time if not forever is#just not worth it and not a risk to be taken lightly#i can't believe i have to keep complaining about this!!! still!!!!!! when will everyone learn!!!!!#what prompted this rant might not even be that bad but really i don't care the culture around this in sports needs to change asap#rant over i'm fucking MAD. and in pain (funnily enough lol)#nico.txt
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I have now three times seen someone on my dash reblog a statement to the tune of "oh of course this terrible person did something terrible; they're the Bad Ethnicity that's inherently backwards and evil" after having previously asserted that judging entire ethnicities based on the shitty actions of shitty individuals is wrong no matter what, no exceptions, period, because doing that is inherently a shitty thing to do to an entire ethnic group.
Unless if they're Irish, apparently. Then the thing that's never okay because it's inherently shitty and cruel is suddenly okay. Because Irish.
#yeah#start a fight with me on this get blocked#it's not a problem I'm okay with derailing other posts about which is why I haven't done so#but I. Is it okay to do this to ethnic groups or isn't it?#I thought we agreed it isn't#and three times pales in comparison to the scapegoating bullshit other people in other groups are getting right now#but it's still frustrating to be part of the ethnic group it's ok to scapegoat even if you think it's wrong to scapegoat based on ethnicity#can we just maybe try not to do this to each other. please.#hurting people because you think their ethnic group is uniquely immoral is actually a shitty thing to do to anyone ever!#I just want consistency in the notion that it's bad to demonize entire ethnic groups. why can't we do this. why is it so hard.#call out shitty people's shitty actions! By all fucking means!#but please stop trying to find the one bad ethnic group you can demonize and hate based on their ethnicity#hate shitty mean antisemites because they're shitty mean and antisemitic not bc they're indigenous to ireland
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spending my whole life trying and trying and trying and trying to be good enough for people who don't give a fuck about me
#im so tired living seems pointless why am i doing this what is the reason#the firm i work at is going thru a merger so it's releasing all the interns except 2#i went into her office and said that id like to stay here bc my dad said so bc i got in cause he was friends with the head#and she said ill think about it based on performance ive not decided yet#and this other guy he went in to tell her that cool he'll leave and she told him that she was hoping that he'd stay#he literally does nothing but play games on his phone he doesn't work at all#i have no idea what he has that i don't#but just. im stuck like this forever right never ever good enough for people i like or care about#not for parents they have a diff fav child not for ex gf not for bestie who has a boyfriend much better at loving her than me#not for that one guy who rejected me in interview bc i don't read the newspaper and didn't know the date of the finance act#im so fucking sick of this i never even wanted to this fuckinh course and obviously even my best isn't enough and ofc im not good enough#for anyone in this field and ill just struggle and struggle and struggle all my life just to earn some fucking money so i can live away#from my sociopathic parents#and the worst part is that i can't stop feeling like maybe it IS me yk maybe i am the problem maybe im not trying hard enough#but how else am i supposed to handle this i prioritize my studies and lose all my friends i prioritise my friends and fail in d#exams#and the trauma keeps on coming every fucking day bc sociopathic parents but i jsut push it down and say not rn i will cry at night anx then#never cry#i wish someone would just tell me that idk you're wrong you're not made for this you really do have some mental illness and you're really#trying your best and do something that's easy and that you love doing#oh god this is now a ventpost#mes
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Absolutely love your art. I want to nom it.
Also, Hollow Heads Siblings my beloveds,,,
Theyre the doomed siblings ever its not even funny
#Oouugh i have thoughts abt the hollowhead siblings. How theyre so intricately tied to eachother since their birth but they'd be#Eachother'd downfall. Esp when it's Dark and his relationship with the others#Dark would never understand what chosen went through. Mainly bc i think chosen is used to fighting his internal battles on his own#While he was in captive as an ad blocker. He loves Dark. He's grateful for Dark bc without him he wouldn't be free#But Dark isnt exactly someone reliable enough for Chosen to get the necessary healing he wants and needs#But that won't stop Dark from trying to fix him. Creates the virus for revenge. As chosen watches his brother spiral and spiral#As he watches him drift further away. Unable to get him back without a shouting match. As he watches with his heart heavy and cracked at-#Their stiffed interactions and strained relationship. He can't remember a time where they shared geniune laughs.#Then tsc coming came and changed everything.#Because this is someone who went through Chosen's pain albeit a lil differently. Someone who knows. Someone who /understands/. And this-#Someone is so much more younger than them and had to go through that pain in such a short amount of time since their birth#He sees himself in them. And he's rather walk up to alan demanding to get his hands cuffed than let tsc fester in that pain.#So tsc became chosen's priority. Healed eachother in many ways than one and are at echother's beck and call if need be.#As for Dark. I think he'd manipulate tsc into using him for his revenge. After stalking out his code and finding out about his potential#And TSC cant help but fall for his manipulations. Since this person is very very important to Chosen and they want so badly to impress-#Them both. They agreed and overtime grew to love eachother. And overtime Dark shifted his goals just a tad bit. Getting TSC more and more-#Involved. Since hey if Chosen doesn't like touching alan with a 10 ft pole why not let this kid do. And TCS agrees to this thinking that-#This is it. This is can finally heal them completely. Finally out of sight and out of mind. Finally can't live without the pain lingering#And chosen watches them with a sense of deja vu. At loss at what to do and so so afraid to lose two of his lil siblings#Then shit hits the brick UBSJDBSJSN#They make me so ill im not even kidding when i said theyre so so very very doomed!!!!!!!!!#This is abt the au btw BAHHAHAHABHA
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people before three hopes: rodrigue doesn’t care about his son
my son
my son
thank you for taking such good care of my son
how fortunate
he’s my son all the same
I’m glad he has you to look after him
#Three Houses#Rodrigue#rodrigue calls him ''my son'' at every possible opportunity and i think that is very nice for him#if he truly wanted to distance himself from his own child then he would use his name and not refer to him#as specifically his child bc it would remind him/others that they're father and son#don't know why yuri knows what he knows but u know what it's yuri so i won't question it he just knows shit#but look rodrigue has always wished the best for felix even if felix didn't want anything to do with him#he never stopped trying to be a father to him or have a relationship with him#even with felix being so snappy and rude rodrigue still acknowledged him every chance he got and cared abt him#he's happy that byleth is his teacher bc he feels that he can't get through to felix and he's happy someone is around felix who can#in he can't do it he just wants to know someone else is out there who can care for him in the ways he can't#imo it's always been very clear and obvious that he loves felix and i don't think he was ever a BAD father#ppl just love smacking on that bad dad label without even paying attention to what's going on#it's not even fckn subtext lmfao it's literally right in your face#it's not his fault if felix doesn't want to talk to him and pushes him away. there's only so much he can do about that#he can at least still care about him and appreciate others being there for him#if you have a child who doesn't want to deal with you then as a parent you can still cherish them and see them as your kid#you can still want the best for them and talk about them to others and see how they're doing#no matter how much grief felix would give him anything at all rodrigue was still a parent to him#he didn't just call off being a parent to him bc of felix's feelings. he just dealt with it and continued doing what he could#you don't just stop being a parent bc your kid acts like that. rodrigue certainly didn't stop even in houses
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Fuck you, bicurious Mario
#BDJEKDJEDJJEND#im sorry for this image#i made this bc i was bored and now i can't stop laughing at it#not bc of the hc because I—#something about sparkly Mario with blush marks is sending me help JDKDJDJEJSJEJEDJ#no but this is my srs hc fr tho#i always pictured Mario as 'thinks of himself as straight but wouldn't mind trying to date a guy'#and I'm just not realizing bicurious is the word for that#at least from everything i read it is— lmk if I'm wrong!#pride#bicurious#bisexual#mario#super mario bros#smb#OH I HAVE NOT SEEN THE MOVIE YET NO SPOILERS NOT EVEN YOUR FUCKING OPINION ON IT I HAVEN'T SEEN IT OK? OK!!
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The shy bachelor Godwin thought that Mary Robinson was not only intelligent and "Rational," but also incomparably beautiful. His daughter Mary Shelley recorded that "Among his acquaintances were several women, to whose society he was exceedingly partial, and who were all distinguished for personal attractions and talents. Among them may be mentioned the celebrated Mary Robinson, whom to the end of his life he considered as the most beautiful woman he had ever seen, but though he admired her so greatly, their acquaintance scarcely attained intimate friendship."
Perdita: The Literary, Theatrical, and Scandalous Life of Mary Robinson (2004) by Paula Byrne, page 322, contained in the beginning of Chapter 22: Radical
#i can't stop thinking about this#william godwin#mary robinson#mary shelley#mary wollstonecraft#and in at least one letter wollstonecraft admitted to godwin that she had wanted to leave a dinner party earlier out of jealousy#but she didn't bc she could tell he was enjoying perdita's company so much#for what it's worth nobody should take this out of context bc these two marys were huge supporters of each other and friends#but if my dad were to say this about any woman other than my mother who died due to complications after giving birth to me#bruh. i know this is probably a rather contemporary cultural judgment to make but still#'oh YEAH dad? why dont you go tell that to the daughter you had with mary robinson—OH WAIT#you just have ME. MY fucking bad'#ps i also love how (i have yet to read her novels but this is routinely mentioned in the biography) all of her heroines#have long dark auburn hair and blue-grey eyes. bc that's what she looked like#and tbh i love it for the incredibly selfish reason that that's what i look like. im vain. goodnight!#(we really do stigmatize that sorta thing now. making ur main character resemble urself. i think thats stupid. its a fine practice)#(no i think we only do that when the author is a woman bc then her character is omg basically her she didnt even try) (eyeroll)
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.
#alright these tags are super embarrassing but i needed to rant publicly so uh. you can read this but please don't perceive me too much#it is so fucking exhausting having nobody to share my life with#i have literally zero friends at this point bc ever since my grandpa died i've pretty much stopped trying to keep in touch with my hometown#friends and i cut off my 'friend' group that were racist assholes who treated me like a doormat back in october and haven't really made any#close friends at college since. and i just fucking hate that this is the same way i've felt for so many fucking years like you'd think it#would be bearable at this point and i'd be used to being alone and for a while i honestly was but it just hit me tonight how fucking lonely#i am and how tomorrow i have to keep on just doing the shit i have to do in life without anyone to talk to and share it with#other than my mom who's been pissing me off lately so i've been pushing her away too!#it's so tiring to have to go out and do things and have responsibilities everyday and not being able to share that with anyone idk it makes#it feel almost like i'm carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders which is SO dramatic i know#like today i wanted to talk about the stupid false alarm gas leak thing with my sort of friends in this club i'm in but i didn't get to talk#to anyone at the meeting bc everyone was just talking amongst themselves in their little groups of best friends and it just reminded me that#i don't have that and i've never fucking had that i've only ever pretended i had that#it's like all these years i've been pretending to be a person that has friends and knows how to live life normally but i never have#more than anything i just miss my friends from home bc they're the closest i've ever felt to having friends that are like family but. i#don't know how to talk to them anymore. i didn't tell any of them when my grandpa died and i think they just assumed that i've moved on so#they've probably moved on and i already know that they have their own lives and friends at their schools that are a lot more full than mine#wanna know the worst part about all of this? i just had therapy and basically told her everything's fine#and i won't meet with her again until 3 weeks from now so literally the only person i can talk to about this right now is my mom#which i am absolutely not gonna do bc she's gonna get so scared and worried for me and i can't have that rn#anyways yeah. this isn't even that big of a deal like i haven't had friends for at least the past 6 months it's not like anything's changed#i just feel extra sad about it right now. i need a distraction stat gonna go watch watch some tv goodnight#shut up hanna
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a lot of my teachers this year have randomly complimented me on my writing even when the class largely has nothing to do with it and tbh??!??! it's really nice and it makes me want to write more?!?!?!!?!?!
#i thought i was bad at it but i think it's just bc i had to write so many academic essays that i stopped having time for creative writing#but i was shocked today because i had a one-on-one with my painting teacher which was basically my final#it wasn't even a crit just a talk basically about my painting#and i had to submit a write-up in advance about what i learned through the process of that class basically#so anyway when i got to the one-on-one the first thing he did was thank me for the write-up and he was like 'clearly you love writing'#'you're a good writer'#and i was like what!?!?!??!?!?#BECAUSE#im not trying to brag SERIOUSLY but i wrote it really fast and i didn't think it was that crazy#but it meant a lot coming from him because he's probably the most articulate and insightful teacher i've ever had#and also he like has a degree in english LOL#and he said i was a storyteller... so anyway..... i almost cried in the club immediately#well anyway. top ten moments#also my art history professor who i deeply respect wrote a very thoughtful comment on my work today to tell me that she thinks#that i 'have a true talent for written visual analysis' and to 'take her word on it'#BOTH OF THESE MOMENTS?? IN THE SAME DAY?!??!!?!#sorry for 18 paragraphs of bragging but i was truthfully floored#i am always floored when people compliment my writing because lowkey i am hugely insecure about it and feel like i can't articulate shit#like so insecure i cant even write lyrics for songs im like 'i have nothing to write about' man stfu just make shit up its called FICTION#anyway....#top ten days of my life
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