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perfectly-unsad · 2 years

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Attack on Titan Headcanons

Warnings - 18+, SFW + NSFW headcanons for all characters, general h/cs, their favourite body parts, kinks I think they’d have, fem anatomy assumed for reader, mentions of mental illness in Reiners section, not proof read

Includes - Eren, Armin, Mikasa, Jean, Connie, Sasha, Historia, Ymir, Levi, Erwin, Miche, Hange, Reiner, Bertholt, Annie, Porco, Zeke, Pieck

A/N - Writing these with the canon universe in mind! I’ve tried to include most characters because I hate when I see my favs left out! If I missed anyone that you want to read, or you want more details on a certain topic or character feel free to submit it as a request <3

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Eren

He has a huge sweet tooth, loves to treat himself with chocolates or pastries but loves them even more when you buy them for him, but if you MADE them for him!!!! He’s in love

He is VERY temperamental and any little thing can change his mood but luckily for you he is also a very good communicator and will always tell you what’s upset him

I feel like his love language would be quality time. You don’t have to be doing the same thing, just knowing you’re with him brings him a lot of comfort

Eren is a brat tamer!! He likes it when you act up because he loves putting you in your place. He’ll tolerate your attitude in public but don’t make the mistake of thinking he didn’t notice how you rolled your eyes at something he said or how you replied far too sarcastically to his question because he’ll definitely get a whimpering apology out of you later

Besties this may be the monster fucker in me talking but if you asked him he would definitely be willing to let you see what that Titan form tongue does

His favourite body part of yours is your hair. He’ll run his hands through it when you guys cuddle, he’ll always smell it when you hug, he’ll absent-mindedly twirl the ends whenever he can and of course he’d ball it up in his fist to pull your head up when he’s hitting it from behind<3

Kinks include light bondage, impact play, hair pulling, and risky public sex, he’s definitely a thrill seeker

Armin

The best boyfriend! Will always notice when something is wrong and does whatever he can to fix it or comfort you.

If you have trouble sleeping he will read to you as a background noise to try get you to sleep

Always kisses you goodnight and goodbye

His love language is physical touch. Hear me out! He spends a lot of time thinking stuff through, and gentle touches really help ground him and bring him back to reality. Touching his arm, wrapping your arms around him, kissing him, it all reminds him to be present in the moment with you

10000% a sub. I cannot in any universe see this man as a dom in any scenario, it’s just not on the cards. He would definitely try for you if you asked but I don’t think it would go very well and you would end up in chargeo

He will let you peg him

His favourite body part of yours is your lips. He loves loves LOVES kissing and will especially want to kiss you when you’re being intimate. He also loves hearing you talking about literally anything and everything

Kinks include sensory deprivation (he likes being blindfolded), temperature play (especially using ice) and he wants all the praise in the world!

Mikasa

We already know that she will do literally anything for you, anything…

She’s definitely the type to absolutely spoil you with romantic moments! She’ll dance with you in the rain, she’ll pick up flowers and pretty rocks that remind her of you, she’ll watch the sunset with you and she will take the best care of you when you’re sick

Her love language is acts of service, hands down. Anything she can do for you, she will. You casually mentioned how you miss the muffins your mother used to make for you? Better believe she’s trying thousands of muffin recipes in an attempt to recreate them for you.

She is a switch but is definitely more of a sub. To everyone else she is the baddest bitch around, right? She’s never been one to shy away from voicing her opinions and doing what she believes is right regardless of her orders. However, she loves that she trusts you enough to allow you to take control, and with her love comes her obedience so she will follow all of your orders<3

Her favourite body part of yours is your legs. Wrap your legs around her when you’re cuddling and she melts! Rest your legs on her when you’re laying down, she loves it!

Kinks include mutual masturbation, orgasm denial and praise

Jean

Huge flirt! Even after years of being together his flirtatious playful comments still leave you red faced and swooning (which is good because at first he was a very awkward flirter)

It takes a while for him to open up to you but once he does he becomes sooooo soft and will often confide in you, especially when he’s having a hard day

He has a good relationship with his mother and as such I do think he would like to be “looked after” by his s/o. Not in a demanding or entitled way, and he would definitely show you how grateful he is every time you make him food, wash his clothes, clean the dishes etc. he isn’t ever taking you for granted!

His love language is gift giving and it’s really cute because he does it in kind of an awkward way? He’ll be shy when presenting you a gift, at first you think he’s embarrassed to be admitting that he thought of you when he saw some silly little knick knack but actually he’s just worried you won’t like it! This sweet man!

A true switch. He can be a dom or sub depending on the mood but his main goal is always making sure you’re having a good time. We love a considerate king. His favourite position is cowgirl because he loves making eye contact and kissing your neck while you ride him.

His favourite body part of yours is your neck! Better believe he marks you the fuck up with hickies! He loves feeling your pulse on his lips and the sounds you make when his teeth graze your sensitive skin

Kinks include wax play, edging, oral sex giving and receiving. He will definitely finish while eating you out, and around here we find that incredibly sexy

Connie

This man loves playing games. Not mind games, like, actual games. He’s super competitive though so it’s never going to just be a chill game of charades with Connie because he is always playing to win, especially if Jean is playing too.

He will defend you about anything to anyone. You’re trying to convince everyone that 2+2=5? Connie will do all kinds of mental gymnastics to prove that you are right, however, as soon as it’s just you two he is definitely gonna be like “babe, what the fuck?” Defend in public, correct in private!

His love language is physical touch and he will practically be glued to your hip. You’re watching a movie and get up to get some water? Connie is following you into the kitchen holding your hand. He always has to be touching you in some way

Connie is more of a dom, but if you occasionally take the lead and encourage him to sub he will be soooooo into it

His favourite body part of yours is your skin (sounds super creepy actually but trust me), he loves to see you shiver under his touch and when you get goose bumps as he lightly grazes your shoulder with his fingertips! He’s mesmerised!

Kinks include degradation (complete juxtaposition to how he talks to you outside of the bedroom!), body worship and breath play

Sasha

I headcanon that Sasha isn’t a great cook, she’ll just eat anything so if you can cook one good meal for her then you’ve won her over

She loves pet names and general cutesy relationship stuff! She doesn’t do big romantic moments like Mikasa but she will never stop doing little things like take you out for dinner, buy you flowers and plan anniversary events

Her love language is gift giving, especially food. We all know that it’s pretty rare for Sasha to share food, but she’ll even give you the bigger half of food she breaks in two<3

Pillow princess! She feels bad about it, but she’s really shy when it comes to intimacy like that at first

However, once you get her more comfortable she is the BEST at eating you out. Lay on your back, sit on her face, she’ll also eat you out from behind she really cannot get enough!

Her favourite body part of yours is your tongue. She really likes making out, slow and sensual or heated and passionate she loves it all. She also likes other things you do with your tongue and I h/c that she’s got quite a high libido

Kinks include food play (obvious but true, starts with something simple like coconut oil but Sasha will lick whipped cream off of any part of your body with GUSTO), lots and lots of praise and light pain

Historia

Ride or die kind of girlfriend. She’s very sweet and nice until someone hurts you physically or just hurts your feelings, then she’s out for blood

She’s very protective and if she sees someone flirting with you she does get jealous and it’s adorable because she gets all moody but is very easy to make her smile again

Will always put your happiness first, for better or worse

Her love language is acts of service. Remember how she carried Daz around that snowy mountain? She would do so much more for you

She is more of a sub and wouldn’t take it upon herself to try and be dominant

Her favourite body part of yours is your waist. She loves she wrap her arms around your waist when she hugs you and she’ll often trace the curves of your body with a gentle touch

Kinks include teasing, lingerie (especially anything lacy), gags and forced orgasm

Ymir

You really do not need a man to feel safe because Ymir will, without hesitation, cut a bitch for you

Unlike Historia, if she sees someone flirting with you or working themselves up to flirt with you she’ll encourage them “yeah, she’s so hot, right? You should go and talk to her” and then when they get rejected she makes sure they see her walking out with you wrapped around her arm

She really fell for you when you actually took the time to get to know her, rather than being turned away by her initial off putting personality you continued to want to get to know her

Her love language is quality time. She loves being around you as often as possible and never gets sick of you

Dom energy all the way. It would take a lot to get her to sub for anyone and she is a huge service dom, she gets all her pleasure from seeing how good she makes you feel

Her favourite part of your body is your forehead. She’s quite tall and loves to give you forehead kisses, as well as forehead flicks when you’re being dumb. She’ll also press her forehead against yours to look into your eyes when she’s feeling extra sappy

Kinks include body worship, begging, hand cuffs and over stimulation

Levi

Very much a “cold person, except when it comes to you” kind of man but he’s still never overly lenient with you and would probably actually hold you to a higher standard than others

He is very used to having to look after himself and others so I think he’d be really taken aback if you looked after him. Cooked him food, bought him gifts, cleaned up any mess, and omg if you washed his hair for him? He might just cry (but won’t ever admit that)

He will grow his own food whenever possible. He loves eating fruit, veggies, herbs that he has grown in his own little garden, although he doesn’t grow any flowers or unusable plants

Will sometimes act like he isn’t too interested in some things you’re saying but he will remember pretty much everything you tell him about yourself

His love language is acts of service, he isn’t exactly “loud” with his love and I think he’d be shy to verbally express just how much he loves you so he would show you in quieter ways. Tea in the morning, fixing anything out of place on your outfit, double checking ODM gear. All are his subtle way of saying he loves you.

Bonus: Levi loves to receive words of affirmation, especially on unexpected things! People often tell him how strong he is, so when you mention that you love how gentle his touch is he melts

There are two common Levi headcanons that I personally don’t agree with, the first is that people think he’d be a really rough dom that uses a lot of slapping, choking, degradation etc but… that just doesn’t add up for me? His mother was a prostitue and I believe that although she tried to shelter as much of that lifestyle from him as possible he would have some idea of how violent men can be with women and he HATES it! The second headcanon is that fellow Levi stans love the idea of him having a huge fat cock and I get it, I really do, we all love that, but girlies, this man is 5’3 there is no way he’s packing 7+ inches. I h/c he’s probably 5.5 inches and it’s literally the prettiest one you’d ever see

Saying that, Levi is most definitely a service dom. Another man who would finish as he eats you out, and I will reiterate we LOVE THAT AROUND HERE!

His favourite body part of yours is your chest (not your boobs). When you’re sleeping, he will sometimes place a hand on your chest just to feel your heartbeat and remind himself that you’re alive and you’re his. He’s lost a lot of people he cares about, and whenever you can’t be with him when he wakes up he can feel quite anxious until he sees you

Speaking of, this man takes his title as “humanity’s strongest soldier” VERY seriously when it comes to you, regardless of your skill. He will not let you go anywhere dangerous without him to watch your back unless there is absolutely no other choice

Kinks include handcuffs, slight power play (the way that you specifically call him Captain), begging, light biting + back scratching and heavy on the praise

Erwin

Doesn’t seem like it but is low-key a huge romantic! Candle lit dinners, dancing in the living room to your favourite song, tracks when there will be meteor showers so you can watch them together, going on horse rides together etc

Loves listening to you talk about things you’re passionate about, equally loves telling you about things he’s passionate about

Secretly assigns you to the safer positions on missions beyond the wall in the Long Range Scouting Formation

His love language is quality time and you CANNOT convince me otherwise! He spends so much time doing paperwork, can you imagine how much he’d love it if you came to just be around him while he did that? Immediately he’s smiling

Erwin is a dom, there’s no debating it. Getting him to sub? Impossible

Now… I just know this man is slinging a horse cock. It’s big. It’s fucking huge.

Favourite body part is the small of your back. He often rests his hand there when you’re in public and he loves how you react to his touch

Kinks include thigh riding (he’s too busy working so you have to use his thigh to get off, Erwin please give me one chance!), cock warming, spanking, discipline and voyeurism (you’re not allowed to touch him or yourself if you’ve been particularly bratty)

Miche

More of the oblivious type. He genuinely doesn’t understand why you get so flustered when he gets super close to sniff you

I feel like when you were first assigned to his squad and he sniffed you, you slapped him thinking he was some creep. Gelgar would burst out laughing and Nanaba would let you know you just slapped your new Captain and that he isn’t a creep he just has an incredible sense of smell… instant regret

He fell in love with you when you bought him a succulent plant instead of flowers and told him that you thought he’d prefer something with a less overwhelming scent. He keeps every single thing you bring him, pretty rocks, unique leaves, he loves it all

His love language is words of affirmation. He is a man of few words, but will always tell you when you do a good job and he never fails to compliment you on your actions or appearance!

Miche is a switch but leans more towards being a dom

He’s a panty sniffer, it’s literally canon (it’s not)

His favourite body part of yours is your thighs. He likes putting his hand on your thigh when you sit next to each other, and he likes resting his head on your thighs when he’s laying down

Kinks include crotch sniffing, sleep play, orgasm control and rope bondage

Hange

They have this ability mastered where they are able to get you to try new stuff and do new things just outside of your comfort zone but without overwhelming you. It’s opened you up to a lot of fun new stuff to do together!

You are the only person they prioritises over their Titan research! Saying that, they are still super passionate about their work and you and Moblit are constantly sweating it about their safety

They love love LOVE surprising you. They’ll spend the entire day acting like they’ve forgotten about your anniversary or some other special day and you fall for it every time, but they’ve actually planned some kind of elaborate thoughtful gesture for you

Speaking of celebrating, never again will you hate your birthday! They makes you feel so special and will dote on you all day

They are very mothering! “What have you eaten today?” “Did you warm up before this exercise?” “You shouldn’t wear those wet clothes, you’ll get sick!”

Their love language is physical touch. They will often brush against you, grab your hands in excitement, lean on you etc they find it very comforting and grounding to just feel you

They are definitely a dom but can be convinced to sub for you, but it takes some persuading

Their favourite body part of yours is your ears. Look at Hange and tell me they aren’t an ear nibbler. You can’t fucking do it because it’s true!

Kinks include shibari, blood play (mild), whips, dacryphilia as a result of overstimulation (not pain!)

Reiner

I think people often shy away from talking about Reiners mental health, but fuck that, I will speak this man’s truth. I mean, we saw how he reacted as he came to terms with betraying all of his friends and now add in him betraying us, the person he has fallen so very deeply in love with!

Reiner is, at first, very reluctant to fall for you but he just can’t help it. Once he’s accepted that it’s very difficult for him and his Dissociative Identity Disorder really helps him cope with that. I mean, he loves you more than anything, right? So how could he…?

If you were from Marley and defended him against Porco, he’s instantly falling for you

He often has bad dreams and while everyone else sees him as the “reliable big brother” you get glimpses of how much he really struggles behind the scenes. So, when he wakes up to you cuddled up close to him it’s a big relief and source of comfort. Who would have thought that the big tough guy of the 104th is actually a big teddy bear

Unlike Levi, I agree with a lot of the fan headcanons for Reiner, include his desperate need for a hug and someone to tell him that they’re proud of him! Do this, and his heart will belong to you forever

As such, his love language is physical touch. He often tries to initiate gentle touches in the hope that you do it back. E.g. he will wrap his arms around you and lay his head on your chest hoping you’d play with his hair, rub his back, put your hand on his arm just anything!

He would dom at first, but once he’s more comfortable with you he likes it when you take over sometimes

I h/c that Reiner is pretty big and girthy, he doesn’t want to hurt you so the first couple of times it’s a little clumsy but when this man learns how to properly use it + his intense desire to make you feel good? Fucking. Hell.

His favourite body part of yours is your butt. Reiner is an ass man (I mean, did you guys see how many times he talked about asses? Way more than any other character!), not sexually but he will also rest his hand on your butt absent-mindedly and give it a gentle squeeze

Kinks include body worship (giving and receiving), anything with nipples (big titty sucker), BREEDING, voyeurism, light teasing and PRAISE

Bonus: not really a kink but Reiner will often hold your hand when he fucks you<3

Bertolt

Simp, simp, simp, SIIIIMMMPPPP!!! He’s super shy at first but once you’re in an established relationship this man will worship the ground you walk on and he’s always hitting you with the “you look so beautiful today” type compliments

He will always brag about you to other people, your skills, how kind you are, how funny you are, your achievements, he is your biggest fan honestly

I h/c that Bertolt has a huge soft spot for stray animals. He is forever bringing back stray cats and dogs to your house and sometimes injured wildlife

His love language is quality time! He would literally spend every waking moment with you if he could. Whenever you’re not next to him he’s always keeping an eye out for you

Sub. This man is a complete sub.

His favourite body part of yours is your back. He often runs his fingers down your back to make you shiver and loves planting gentle kisses along your spine

Kinks include orgasm denial (receiving), face sitting, teasing and massages (giving) that lead to sex

Annie

Surprisingly very romantic. When you get closer to her she becomes less cold and distant and reveals her much softer, romantic side

Annie gives off major friends to lovers vibes

Eager to please, she will do things for you to make you happy like bring you cool stuff she finds that reminds her of you and will go way outside of her comfort zone as long as the end result makes you smile

I feel like she has a hard time verbalising her emotions so she often writes you letters to express her feelings for you and omg they are some of the most beautiful and poetic words you could ever hope to read

Her love language is gift giving. Not only will she buy you gifts whenever they remind her of you, but she will also collect things like rocks and feathers to give to you and she will make stuff for you too like cute little daisy chains!

Annie is another true switch, she’s perfectly comfortable being a sub or a dom!

Her favourite part of your body is your eyes! Although she isn’t very expressive, the closer you get to her the more you come to recognise her minor body language details that others might miss. One perfect example of this is how her brow ever so slightly relaxes and her eyes soften when she looks into yours. It’s her happy place

Kinks include silk/satin use, degradation, wax and mutual masturbation

Porco

His method of flirting is definitely bullying you. It’s childish but he never grew out of it!

Very easy to make him jealous and he is so fine when he’s jealous. He’d never admit how much it annoyed him that Zeke said you looked nice one day, he tries to act like he didn’t care at all but it was sooooo obvious that he was jealous!

He acts annoyed doing chivalrous things for you but he secretly loves doing them. He’ll give a “be careful, idiot” when you’re walking on the side of the pavement that the cars drive on and quickly swap places with you. He’ll playfully roll his eyes when you thank him for holding a door open for you and he’ll act like he was “too hot anyway” when you mention that you’re cold and he gives you his coat.

His love language is words of affirmation but with a slightly mean twist. He would notice you’re feeling insecure and when you tell him why he’ll be all “what? Are you blind? You look beautiful”

Dom, and he’s a mean one too! Not every time, he does enjoy softer intimate sex when you both feel like that

His favourite body part of yours is your hips. He loves biting them and bruising the, with his fingertips while he holds you in place while fucking you. Romance isn’t dead<3

Kinks include rough sex, impact play, marking, exhibitionism (not so much having people watch but definitely letting them hear you screaming for him), hair pulling and knife play

Zeke

Forever picking you flowers. He doesn’t really buy flowers, but whenever he sees a pretty one he’ll think of you and have to pick it

Enjoys having very philosophical conversations with you, especially at night when you guys are just laying together

The type of guy who will secretly take dance classes so that he can surprise you with a romantic moment on an anniversary

His love language is quality time. As long as you’re nearby he is happy, the closer the better of course but when he’s focusing on work it helps him concentrate on finishing it faster so that he can actually enjoy your company

Zeke is a dom but wouldn’t mind subbing for you occasionally. It would take some convincing but I firmly believe he’d let you peg him eventually

His favourite part of your body is your feet. I’m so sorry but I get MAJOR foot fetish vibes from Zeke

Kinks include daddy kink, face fucking, bondage and humiliation (giving)

Pieck

Pieck is the type to mark pages in poetry books that remind her of you

Always greets you with a kiss, without fail! She also really enjoys doing domestic chores together with you. Cooking with Pieck is always really fun and silly

She will spoil you soooooo much. Mention that you want something? Consider it yours. Take a second glance at a piece of clothing and she’s grabbing it to buy for you. Honestly she just wants you to be happy

Her love language is physical touch. She always presses against you when you’re sitting together, she’ll make sure to intertwine your fingers when you walk together and she doesn’t care how hot it gets you WILL spoon

She is a perfect switch. When she’s domming she can be a little mean, but when she’s subbing she’s so good for you<3

Her favourite body part of yours is your fingers. She loves intertwining her fingers with yours, she loves giving you manicures, she loves buying you rings and she loves when you use your fingers to make her cum

Kinks include orgasm control (giving and receiving), begging, toys - especially a strap, and restraints

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six-paths-of-jeanmarco · 22 days

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You wanna talk about Reiner, Jean and Marco?

Okay, let's talk about Reiner, Jean and Marco. Buckle up, there's a lot to talk about.

Disclaimer: this is not an anti post to any character or ship, quite the opposite. Read the whole thing before you jump to conclusions, thanks :)

Well, yes and no. First and foremost, the background. Jean and the rest of the cadets, while each had a goal, were training to defend what they thought to be all that was left of the human species. For 100 years, the walls protected them, but they were no longer secure. The military was humanity's last hope of survival. With these unimaginably high stakes always looming over them, the cadets ought to have developed a complex bond that would be very hard to put into words. Let's just say they were something more than just siblings in arms, and you could tell that. Throughout the series, you never get the impression that Jean and the others truly wanted to kill RBA. It also explains why Marco questioned Reiner and Bert about their conversation before he even realized he's made a mistake.

However, we also have to remember this scene. This happened not long after Marco's death. Realistically speaking, I don't see how Jean wouldn't have harboured a healthy amount of hatred in his heart. But it never overcame him because his grief over losing Marco was much stronger than his hatred for those who caused it.

He won't get his answers from Annie, but he could get them from Reiner after they captured him in Shiganshina. He convinced Hange to not execute him due to a mix of the aforementioned bond and his need to understand what truly happened to Marco and what were the shifters' true goals. And of course, because preserving one's life, even an enemy's, is in Jean's nature.

There's so much to unpack here, but first, let's focus on the idea that "the people who killed Marco were the same as Jean himself", which is a false equivalence supported by other false equivalences.

There's RBA's mission to commit straight up genocide against Paradis, and the raid of Liberio or Eren's plan to steal the War Hammer, ensure that the world hates Paradis, and use his friends as his escape route. Sure, the Scouts could have chosen not to aid Eren, let him be captured, lose the Founding Titan, and allow Marley to destroy them once and for all. Not a hard choice at all, right? The only thing that those two events have in common is the fact that the shifters were responsible for almost all of the casualties. In fact, as a commanding officer, Jean did everything in his power to avoid civilian casualties in Liberio. He even failed to kill Falco and Pieck.

Then there's Marco's murder and the clash with the Yeagerists. All I'm going to say about the former at this point is that Reiner had other options to keep Marco from endangering their mission other than killing him. But fundamentally speaking, the two situations share nothing in common. The circumstances that led to them happening, the power dynamics between the parties involved, the stakes, and the context itself makes them practically unrelated. The alliance had to leave the island or the Rumbling would have ended the world. The Yeagerists gave them no choice other than to fight them. Saying that Reiner and Jean are "the same" it's like saying a killer who murdered their victim is just as bad as a survivor who killed their aggressor in self defense. The killer could've chosen not to commit murder, whereas the survivor didn't have a choice. In this case, the world is the victim while the Yeagerists are complicit for interfering with the only people that could stop the Rumbling. Of course, that doesn't mean Jean shouldn't have felt anything after he killed his former comrades, he'd be ooc.

In fact, these aren't just my thoughts. Some of these points are made by Isayama himself:

Notice how Yelena frames the raid as a nation wide attack? Except, that's not what it was at all. The Scouts only attacked the internment zone while Eren and Armin ravaged it and the port of Liberio respectively, two locations in one of the thousands of cities an empire as large as Marley must've had. And they did so to prevent Marley from gaining the means that would've allowed them to destroy Paradis. As for what Reiner and Annie did to the walls and their people, Yelena's accusations are hitting the nail.

These issues are never properly addressed in the following chapters. Instead, they were used to lay the foundations for the "we're the same" fallacious dialogue. Isayama didn't have to throw every single Scout in the same gray soup as the Warriors since they've already proven to be complex characters in the previous arcs. His own writing didn't support it. Imo, that's why he failed in this regard.

The campfire scene is a highlight, that one thing is true. It's extremely important for Jean and Marco's relationship. Marco wasn't just Jean's most significant person throughout the series (aside from his mom), he was also his most significant loss. A wound in his very being.

Not knowing what truly happened to Marco, what were his last moments, was an open wound on its own. When Reiner finally confessed, Jean had the closure he'd thought he'd never get. Now he could start the long process of healing - partially, because such pain never truly goes away. You just learn how to live with it, and Jean already has plenty of experience in that field. I think this is a very powerful message, important too. Grief is not something inherently bad. It's up to you what you do with. You either allow it to consume you, or you hold it tight, you cherish it as a sign that what you had was real, still is real, you let it shape you into a better person, one that understands pain and wishes for no one to have to go through something similar. Jean is the latter, ever the kind-hearted man.

This should have been Jean and Marco's intimate moment, but Reiner intruded on it with his self-pitying babbling. There are lines that mustn't be crossed. That's when Jean snapped and attacked him. He didn't do anything after he learned the truth, just told Reiner to shut up, which he didn't do.

There's a glaring difference between Jean's reaction and what Reiner did after Marco overheard his discussion with Bert, what he did after Marco begged him to talk it over, to talk with him. He executed him like an animal; worse than that, he betrayed him, crushed his soul, denied him any chance of survival, left him behind for the titan to finish the job.

Marco was kind, understanding, supportive, good-natured, bright, forgiving, a true leader worth following. He wanted to serve the king because that's how he thought he could serve his people best (this is clearly inspired by the relationship the people of Japan had with their emperor before he renounced his divine status). Yes, he was also wrong about some things he didn't have the chance to understand as one of the early deaths. But Marco represented something we should all strive to be: a good human being.

On the other hand, Reiner strived to be a hero. Someone who'd wipe out all the devils. Someone driven by selfish ideals that have been shaped by prejudice and hatred. Only a monster would kill someone like Marco. As I said earlier, he had other choices to deal with him. He already broke his legs, so Marco would've been entirely dependent on his help to survive. Reiner could've coerced him to keep quiet or else Bert would kill everyone with his shifter ability, or even force him to aid Annie with gathering intel in the inner walls. Reiner knew Marco wasn't stupid, he would've complied with his demands, if not to save himself, at least to prevent a disaster. And yet, Reiner still chose to murder him, a choice that only a monster could make, a choice that would ruin his mental health, a choice that would turn him into a shell of a man.

If there's one character that is bound to Marco by trauma and guilt, it's Reiner. He was no hero as his story was written with the blood of his many victims. Killing Marco forced Reiner realize he was the monster all along, not the people he was sent to exterminate. Not the people he didn't see as people. His trauma was so egregious because he couldn't face this monster that would murder someone like Marco, - and once he did - because he couldn't stand this monster that was he. Quite ironic to say that Marco symbolizes naivety while the hero that never was was falling apart as the realization of what he did started to kick in. Hard.

Combined with this realization, that choice would make him do the right thing in the end. To me, this was the whole point of Reiner's character arc. To stress the idea that a single choice fueled by hatred has an unmeasurable weight and only leads to unthinkable consequences. It's about doing the right thing after constantly doing the wrong thing. It's about showing that there is no us vs them and that the dehumanization of the Other only leads to mass destruction and self destruction. Change is not impossible as long as you keep moving forward and you give meaning to pain and guilt. Unless you stand for nothing, kill for nothing, and then die for nothing, like Bert did. A literal representation of the quote "Apathy is death". Or end up as self-centered as Annie, to the point where you'll unapologetically say you'd do it all again. Instead of saying you'd try to change your actions. But Reiner did change. He joined forces with Jean and the rest because he was finally able to see them as what they always were: human beings whose lives are just as precious as all the lives in the world. And that his own life might still be worth something. Reiner hurt Jean far too deep to fully reconciliate, but they were no longer divided by hatred.

Take away the impact Marco had on him and you'd do Reiner a great disservice.

Jean could've also chosen to do some things different. He could've returned to the camp and kill Reiner and Annie in their sleep. Cut off their heads and return back to Paradis as a hero, and finally have the quiet life that he wanted, but he didn't. Or he could've stayed in that forest for the rest of his life, to hell with everyone else, but he didn't. It wasn't because Marco's expectations had him on a leash.

Learning the truth about what happened to Marco, learning his final words made him realize that he became a man worth Marco's timely praise. And that man would never let resent, revenge, or retribution turn him into a monster. He is a man that always chooses to do the right thing because he strives against his own demons, and Marco is the person who helps him choose this life.

It's not trauma nor guilt that keeps Jean and Marco connected, it's love, be it platonic or romantic. How can it be anything else? Marco gave him this moment:

And before this, Marco told him he's cut out to be a leader. Marco told him "I'm alive because of you". Marco made him smile for real. Do you know how much of an impact just a few words of encouragement can have on a 15 years old boy with low self esteem and no real purpose in life? He'll never forget them for as long as he lives, especially if they're coming from someone who means a lot to him. How can you take something as meaningful as that and turn it into something ugly? Marco gave him clarity.

Marco's neither a blessing nor a curse. Especially not the latter. This is how Jean remembers him four years after he had found his lifeless corpse:

Of all his fallen comrades, Jean only sees him. This is the face that Jean turns to in his darkest hours. The eyes that look back at Jean are soulful, kind, sincere, comforting. Marco's facial expression is warm and tender. You wouldn't tell this was a 16 years old boy who had died a most gruesome death.

It matters too little they don't have cameras in Paradis, no picture could reproduce Marco's image with as much love as Jean's mind does. And it matters that much when you think about how much symbolism there is in aot. None of this is coincidental at all.

Jean always turns to Marco for hope, for strength, for solace, and to remind himself of his own kindness, that in a world as cruel as that of aot, there's still love and there's still light, if not outside, then within.

Marco's no curse, no blessing, no symbol, he is just a boy whose words and actions had a great impact on those around him, especially on his best friend (and dare I say, soulmate) who misses him dearly. He left his mark on the plot and themes of aot, whether you want to acknowledge that or not.

Edit: Forgot to add this (my drafts are a mess):

I do agree that Jean saving Reiner's life is important. No, they could never go back to being friends. Who'd be friends with their best friend's murderer? I'll say it again, Reiner hurt Jean far too deep for them to ever fully reconciliate. Besides, Jean himself stated that he could never forgive him for what he did. The logic is sadly not logic-ing with this one. But that doesn't mean he cannot see Reiner as a human being. The difference between Reiner and Jean is that Jean always saw everyone as people.

It's important because it shows how far Jean has come. It's important because it shows how much truth was in Marco's words right from the beginning. Jean is humanity's best - not because he is flawless, far from it, but because this flawed man will always find the strenght to do what's right. Because when good men go to war, they don't see sides, not really, they see the horrors of their actions.

In a way, aot is Jean's story. And Reiner's. And Marco's. I still have plenty of criticism for this series, but the web of complex relationships between these three characters is one of the things that Isayama did right.

#jean kirstein #marco bott #reiner braun #jeanmarco #jean kirschtien #jean kirschstein #jean kirschtein #marco bodt #aot #snk #attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin

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hangeslefteye · 1 year

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Aot girls doing your makeup HC'S

There's nothing else like platonic friendship <3 I'm high on that so HC's for MİKASA,PİECK,YMİR and HANGE doing your makeup :3

MİKASA:

I'm all about modern au goth Mikasa so I feel like she would wear a very grungy e girl makeup with thick eyeliner,lashes and bitten lips look.

So when you ask her to do your makeup she's both very excited and a little afraid you won't like it,her hands might shake a little </3.Overall incredibly gentle and always asks you if you prefer this or that.Finished look is something like:

Stars/hearts under the eyeliner is only for you,she doesn't do it to herself ^^

Just imagine 90s chill rock music playing at the background and smoking the same cigarette while she does your makeup.Ofc she's the type to offer you one of her band tshirts claiming it's more aesthetic this way :D But she only likes seeing you in her clothings

PİECK:

For modern day au I can see her going crazy about colorful Euphoria makeup with rhinestones,glitter etc.

But she's the type to ask you first :D Especially right before a party/event so everybody can see her signature look on your face.This is her way of showing a short of possession.Also it's a plus if you have men around you that dislike makeup xD

She's also very gentle but won't allow you to interfere so just let her do her own thing because she's really good at this.Also she knows about the color theory so depending on your outfit's color it might be something like this:

Only thing you can be sure of is by the end of it you will SHİNE, she'll doll you up like a goddess :3

YMİR:

Ok,I don't think she wears any makeup at all in her daily life but maybe in VERY special occasions.So even though she's thrilled that you asked her to do your makeup I really doubt she'll just jump in,you must insist a little.

I hate to write this but she's the type to clean mascara dirt with spit D: Also we don't talk about eyeliner because she too knows she's terrible with that one xD

However I can imagine her being able to do a really great red lipstick look with rest of the face natural.But when applicating the lipstick she'll say she's pulling off a Joker rn xD

Overall teases you A LOT when doing your makeup and won't let you look without finishing xD At this point you might wonder wtf this girl is doing but she doesn't knows it herself too :D İf it was a good day it will turn out something like:

İf this is what you have ended up with you got lucky, just don't push it to ask her for fake freckles xD

HANGE:

You really sure you want Hange to do your makeup?Like really??Last decision???

Honestly,she's been waiting for this day D: I don't think she wears a lot on daily basis,just covers up under eyes and good to go but that doesn't mean she wasn't experimenting nor uninterested.

She says she'll go for an thin,natural eyeliner but that turns into a smokey eye very fast because she's in for the no eyeliner gang.She just doesn't knows that yet D:

Also she owns a lot of brushes,sponges,palettes etc but proceeds to apply foundation with her hands xD Ah, also smudges the 'eyeliner'with her fingertips so she may or may not finger your eye xD

Overall apologizes and laughs nervously a lot so you might wonder what's going but it's better if you don't look until she's finished. İf you clean up a little after her it can look like:

A little panda but worths to see Hange enjoying themselves xD

For boys edition

#attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #mikasa ackerman #mikasa x reader #mikasa ackerman x reader #aot pieck #pieck finger #pieck x reader #ymir aot #ymir freckles #ymir x reader #ymir snk #hange aot #hange zöe #hange x reader #hange x y/n #hanji zoe #hanji aot #hanji x reader

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levmada · 3 months

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The way i cope with those fan arts of aot being actors 😭 and theyre all happy and alive and having a good time in front of a green screen

- hange came out as agender (any pronouns) and the backlash was immense. levi, being very aware how “gender” he is (whatever that means) decides to announce he goes by he/they pronouns.

eren crossdresses in support🙏🙏 (there’s more i’m not mentioning).

- when the final specials were being filmed, gabi accidentally called levi dad. like three times.

- every time someone important to character levi died, levi’s actor spent extra time backstage NOT tearing up (he’s lying).

- pieck and jean’s actors are actually married.

- mikasa is an actual supermodel. world famous. and the thing is she’s totally unproblematic too!!

she has countless opportunities and artistic/business ventures, but aot is her favorite project and she has always put her other things aside to work on set :’)

- eren is in playboy magazine

- armin and historia are step siblings in real life

- niccolo actually only has a sparse background in acting and he’s more of an assistant to an assistant than anything else. but one day the crew was kind of going into overtime and he cobbled together some pasta that EVERYONE was down on their knees for.

sasha fell pretty much in love with him which is what led to his role in the series.

this is a popular piece of trivia in the fandom.

- annie always insists on doing her own stunts, and she’s fucking incredible at it.

bertholdt and armin took after her once or twice in shared scenes and it did NOT go well.

“no doing your own stunts” finally became a rule everyone had to follow after actual years of only eren making messes with it. annie has actual hard feelings against eren for not standing up for her🙄

- a lot of times the director often invites erwin into the writers room🤷🏻he has an amazing grasp on the characters and plot direction

- fans had a lot of doubt when zeke's actor came to aot, but it turned out to be a bryan cranston from malcolm in the middle to breaking bad type magic LOL

- somebody lost a bet once and hange got to direct an episode. it's one of the lowest rated for aot (AKA LIKE 8.3 OUT OF 10).

this is a major controversy within the fandom.

- floch is a nepo baby. not a bad guy though.

- after character hange died, he and actor hange put on fat suits and had a sumo wrestling competition that was livestreamed. it's one of the most popular livestreams of all time.

also hange won.

- reiner has an actual scar on the side of his neck from the fake sword blade used in s3 when levi stabbed his character.

- there was laura bailey-level hatred for gabi's actor when sasha died. sasha came out in support of her and the vast majority of fans rallied behind her.

- levi actually played the (tiny) role of his teenage self from that one episode because of how short he is. he's 5'0. he wears platform boots, actually.

#feel free to add on ;')#aot hc #aot hcs #attack on titan actor au #attack on titan #attack on titan hcs #snk hc #snk hcs #levi ackerman #hange zoe #snk #snk fanfic #aot drabble #kane has mail

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kaigarax · 6 months

Text

Everything I Could Never Say

Porco Galliard x Reader

Quote: "Fall in love with someone you knew." & "Fall in love with someone that inspires you."

Someone You Loved: Featuring the Soldier

Porco Galliard had been acquainted with death all his life.

He’d never personally gotten very close to death but many of the most important people in his life had been taken away. Death was like a friend of a friend that you’ve never quite liked but never been able to leave behind. Though, Porco supposes that choosing a life in the military wasn’t the smartest choice if he hoped to avoid death.

From his brother Marcel who died when he was twelve during an accident to his best friend Pieck who died when he was twenty one during their first deployment. The countless soldiers he’s fought side by side with seemingly nothing but nameless faces in the wind.

And now, it seems, you.

Porco can’t help but feel awkward as he stands at the entrance. There’s a light drizzle in the sky yet it does nothing to cool the weather. It’s humid and Porco’s suit sticks to him. It also doesn't help that his arms and legs ache from the long flight. He’d been working out in hopes of getting the stress out but it seems as though his stress has come back full force in the shape of both mental and physical anguish.

Your parents had invited him to the service the day before but he hadn’t been able to get the time off. At least he’d be able to attend with everyone else. Actually, it’s quite fitting because while Porco had been close with you growing up he feels as though you’re almost a stranger now.

It’s a horrible thing to realize and even more devastating to think about yet seems almost fitting.

The woman standing at the counter greets him with a slight nod of her head as she asks for his name.

She hands Porco a badge and name tag.

It’s not his name that’s been written down.

Of course it was something like this. Something you would have loved. Not just would Porco not know anyone there but he wouldn’t be able to pretend to know them either. You always did seem to find amusement over stupid little things like this. But it was one of the things he loved about you.

The room’s larger than it looks. It’s white and round, with photos lined up across the walls. It looks more like an art exhibit than what it really is. But you would have liked it that way. In fact, Porco wouldn’t be all too surprised to hear that you planned this all out yourself.

The horrible ache in his arms and leg suddenly doesn't seem to bother him as much. The pain suddenly seems so little. So little compared to the aching in his chest.

He never realised how much he missed you.

It’s as though all those feelings he’d pushed down suddenly came rushing back and crashing down. The world around him is spinning and he can’t seem to catch his breath. He wants to run out but his feet don’t move. It’s hard to focus his eyes and he has to squint to look at the photo in front of him.

The man in the frame looks deeply concentrated on something in front of him. The camera’s capture him from his profile and highlights the ginamours background behind him. The spotlights seemed to have all turned to point at him, as if saying that ‘here is the main character. Watch him succeed’. Porco thinks that he can almost hear the cheers and feel the anticipation of the crowd as they wait for something incredible to happen.

You chose not the moment before or after but right then, before the world comes crashing down. Like the deep breath right before a storm. The words ‘with baited breath we await the storm’ are engraved at the bottom.

It’s… a nice photo.

Porco wonders if there’s one of him too.

What you might have written down for him.

His erratic heart seems to find some calm in the photos you’ve left behind. No, he thinks, they aren’t photos but rather art. The blood, sweat and tears that you gave in hopes of leaving something greater than you behind. The pieces of you that would forever stay here in the world of the living. Did you regret leaving something as amazing as this behind? Did you regret leaving-

The photo of him surprises him. Porco remembers the day you took that very one. He remembers how you pestered him for the entirety of the day in hopes that he would go with you to see the fireworks. How excited you were because your parents had finally gotten you the camera you had been begging for.

You had wanted to take a photo of the starry sky and light show.

And Porco had been in such a bad mood that day.

He’d been upset about something stupid his brother had done and wouldn’t do anything productive until Marcel apologised. Of course Marcel never apologised and you had done almost everything you could to make him smile.

Actually, now that Porco thinks about it, he doesn't think you ever did see the fireworks that day. After taking that photo you had left, your cheeks flushed red.

Truthfully, Porco thinks he looks a little… cute. Of course he looks every bit of the snot-nosed brat but even brats can be adorable children.

The words ‘Take 574’ are plastered beneath its portrait.

He once told you that he believed there were exactly 574 stars in the sky. Of course, being an adult, Porco now knows that there are millions (if not billions) of stars in the sky but that number had been so large. One of the largest numbers he had been able to count up to back then. It’s funny to think how small the world seemed to the two of you.

Back when Porco thought that it would only always just be the two of you.

He used to think that that was how the world would always be. Him, you and everyone else.

It’s a shame that life did not allow it to progress the way he had hoped it would. Though, that’s likely mostly to the fault of him. He’s almost certain both yours and his lives would have been different if Porco had…

“You’re that boy from the earlier photos, the Soldier, aren’t you?”

Porco turns to see the Mentalist. A man with dual coloured hair split straight down the middle. You talked about him quite a bit in your letters. About his brilliant mind and how thrilled you were when he had chosen to take you under his wing.

Looking at him now, Porco isn’t all too sure why you were so enamoured with him. Sure, he has a flashy appearance but he doesn't seem to exude the same brilliance you spoke of. Perhaps it’s just perspective? Though Porco has always been rather biased when it comes to the Mentalist. Afterall, why would you need to be tutored by someone in a different profession?

“Yeah.” Porco gives the Mentalist a slight nod, “how’d you know? Most people are surprised when they learn it’s me in those photos.”

The Mentalist smiles, “you have the same eyes.”

Porco raises a brow.

“And the same expressions.” Adds a newcomer.

The pair turn to see a white haired man. Porco instantly recognizes him as the Athlete. He’s shorter than Porco would have expected. Average height for an average person but definitely short for a professional athlete. He has startling eyes, something akin to a bird, and a very loud voice.

Porco recognizes him, not because of his exotic features or fame but because of you. He was, afterall, your latest muse. Or rather… last muse.

The Mentalist turns to look at the newcomer, a curious look in his eyes, “the Athlete?”

The Athlete flushes, “I was never really a fan of that title.”

“Why so?’ Asks the Mentalist.

“Because it always felt so…” the Athlete trails off, looking into the distance towards a photo of you.

“Different from who you felt you were?” Suggest Porco.

“Yeah.” says the Athlete, his gaze still glued to your photo.

Porco eyes follow the Athlete’s. He’s surprised that they managed to find such a recent photo of you. Actually, he’s surprised they managed to find one of you at all. You always did prefer to be behind the lens. It captures that youthful glow Porco remembers you having. You don’t have dirt in your hair or the baby fat that lingered into your early teens, but you have all the same warmth and excitement.

“You know, those are the titles she picked for you,” the Mentalist smiles, though it doesn't reach his eyes, “I think she would have wanted you to look a little deeper into it.”

Porco snorts, “and what’s yours supposed to mean, Mentalist?”

“Well, I’m a magician, aren’t I? She was always very impressed by my extraordinary mental prowess.” The Mentalist smirks though Porco can see the sadness in his eyes, “though when she said it, she always meant eccentric. Considered calling it ‘the Mad Man’ at some point.”

Perhaps he had been too quick to judge him. Afterall, this man had chosen to go to your funeral and final exhibition. This man clearly, at one point, cared about you. This man, despite seeming to be everything Porco stands against, stands here trying to smile because he knows it’s what you would have wanted.

Porco tries his best to muster up a smile, “she wanted to call mine ‘the Brat.’”

The eyes of his two companions seem to fill up with laughter.

The Athlete eventually clears his throat, “did you two know her well?”

“Not as well as I’d like to.” Says the Mentalist.

“At one point,” Porco shrugs, “did you?”

“I’m not sure.” Answers the Athlete.

“Well you’re here so you must have meant something to her.” says Porco.

“And she must have meant something to you.” Adds the Mentalist.

Porco has always wondered what kind of person you turned out to be. The you he remembers is one who always chased after him. A clumsy girl that was scared of almost everything. Did you fall in love easily? Did you stand up for what you believed in? Until now, Porco never really realised how much uncertainty there was surrounding you.

Though, what he does know for certain is that you must have been brilliant. Why else would all these people have come for you?

“So, what’s ‘the Athlete’ supposed to mean?” Asks the Mentalist.

“Oh,” the Athlete flushes, “well it’s actually a bit of an inside joke, I think.”

The Mentalist turns his head to the side, “you think?”

“Well, she always talked about how she admired athletes. Talked about how she loved the way they ‘sparked’. Honestly, I’m surprised she chose me in the end.” There's a small smile that forms in the corner of the Athlete’s mouth, “I guess she couldn’t help but be impressed when she watched me play.”

Porco fights the urge to roll his eyes.

Not at the Athlete’s expense but yours.

Of course you have a type.

“Have any of you talked to the others?” Asks Porco.

“The others?” Questions the Athlete.

The Mentalist turns to look around the room, “the other Muses?”

“Oh,” says the Athlete, “no. Honestly I’m not really familiar with anyone else here. She never really spoke about the other… muses.” The word muse both sounds foreign from the Athlete’s mouth and feels foreign in Porco’s ears. “I’m basically a stranger to everyone else here. What about the two of you?”

“I’m in the same boat as you.” says Porco.

Then they both turn towards the Mentalist.

The Mentalist shrugs, “she always did like her distance.”

And Porco hates how true that statement seems to be and how deep it really sinks.

While the two of you had spent your developmental years together the other half of your life had been spent with you exploring the rest of the world while Porco slaved away in the army. Sure, the two of you exchanged letters but those could never be compared to the raw expressions and emotions that someone had whe face to face with another. A perfectly crafted collage of words and sentences that you’ve chosen to construct in order to create the perfect image that you know he would like to see.

Did he ever really know you at all?

Did either of these two?

Did any of these countless people?

Your distance had always been Porco’s least favourite thing about you. But distance seemed like such a little thing when compared to the vastness of everything else that made you, you. The distance was what made you, you.

The distance between you and Porco was one he could never quite bridge. So he could only ever love you from afar and wonder what it might be like to hear you call out his name. In the middle of a night after a nightmare; in the middle of the day for something mundane; in anger after the midst of an argument; and after the argument with remorse.

Fall in love with someone you knew.

---

Everything I Could Never Say

‘Stay.’

The first painting Porco has ever completed took three years from start to end. He’d always been interested in painting when he was young and dabbled in the art when he entered high school but wouldn’t truly indulge in the art until you left. All the time he’d spent with you would eventually become all the time he’d have to devote to his new hobbies.

For the longest time, the finished painting lay collecting dust in the back of his closet. He was never really pleased with the finished product but never truly found the heart to throw it away.

Eventually, the painting managed to make its way into the hands of an art collector. Porco’s mother had been having a yard sale and he had convinced his mother to throw the piece in with the other items. Someone clearly must have been impressed with the work because he’d soon find himself swept up in a whirlwind.

Now, the painting hangs up against a large white wall.

You’re standing at the edge of the doorframe, in the painting, a warm smile on your face. Your foot is out the door but your head is turned back as if waiting to hear one last message. As if waiting for one last thing. Your eyes are soft as you take everything in for the last time.

It’s Porco’s childhood home that he’s painted you in, recognizable with the ugly stain on the side of the door and messy rack of shoes that’s been pushed up against the wall.

Back then, Porco wanderers if you might have stayed in there just a moment longer if you had known it would be your last time ever seeing the place. And, if you had stayed a moment longer would those words at the tip of his tongue ever be said?

Would he have been able to utter that single word that lay at the tip of his tongue?

No.

Even if you had stayed just a moment longer he knows he would have never said those words. He couldn’t. Not because he was afraid of the rejection but because he knew you would stay if he asked. That a single word from him was all that it would have taken to change the very course of your lives.

But you were never meant for such mundane things.

You were meant to see the world - and how could he be the reason why you’d never get to experience that? The world was meant to see you - and how could he deny the world someone as amazing as you?

---

‘I missed you.’

The second painting was made years after the first. Years after Porco had already mastered and perfected his craft.

He’d been going through a slump when he bumped into you. The both of you happened to be visiting your childhood homes at the same time when you stumbled into one another. Porco had been going for a morning run while you (as usual) were out with your camera. It was almost nostalgic.

You’d been so happy that you practically strong armed him into going to a breakfast joint with you.

So much more grown up then you had been before, yet still with that spark in your eyes. The same bright expression yet your smile seemed to hold so much more wisdom behind it. Ideas and phrases that he’d never imagined you’d say before.

So familiar, yet different.

And that’s where he paints you.

Somewhere in between the state of familiarity and unknown.

There, in the breakfast diner, with a tired smile. You’re resting your head on your arms as you tell stories about the life you’ve managed to live without him. And it feels so different from words on a page. It feels real yet imaginary at the same time.

The slump he’d been going through had seemingly evaporated as he got to work on that painting of you that very afternoon.

Seeing how much you’ve changed back them seemed to set something off in him. It was a good kind of change. One that shows you've grown a lot from the immature and young person you had been before. That life has changed you for the better. It’s the kind of change that everyone goes through at one point but something you never notice until the change has occurred beneath your noses and now you’re a different person.

You’re a different person. Changed. And that thought made Porco happy yet sad at the same time.

And those words lingering in the back of his mind stay. Not because he can’t bring himself to say them but because they only stand to make all the change that has happened seem more real. Seem so… less imaginary. He’s scared that sadness will become the forefront of his mind if he allows himself to utter those words. So he doesn't. So he didn’t.

---

‘Why not?’

Barely a week after Porco’s finished the second painting does he come up with the idea for this one. Refamiliarizing yourselves with one another is an easier process than Porco would have thought. You fit like puzzle pieces. At first he’d been scared that you’d be much too different but he supposes that he had always been quite the pessimist. It’s not as if distance could have changed someone so much. Or at least not someone like you.

Porco’s decided to invite you to the bar, seeing as how you seemed to be experiencing a slump similar to one that he had just the week before.

A fresh environment is always a good way to spark some inspiration - and there’s no harm in a few drinks here and there. Or at least that was what Porco thought before he actually brought you there.

You’re five drinks in with two hours of complaining.

Love has never come easily to most and you had certainly not been an expectation. And that difficulty had brought Porco a long list of complaints and woes about the various troubles you’ve found yourself with.

And it’s this tired and troubled expression that Porco decides to paint you with. It’s so different from the other wistful expressions Porco has made and so different from anything that he’s ever seen you with. It’s refreshing and reminds him that, like him, you’re still young and learning. That there’s also so much life that you have yet to live as well. Of course, there’s still a softness in your eyes.

There always will be, he thinks.

The bar in the background is buzzing with action and Porco tries his best to capture everything. The people dancing in the background, despite no music playing. The bartender swiftly attends to everyone there while the waitress seamlessly moves through the crowd.

And Porco, who has grown weary from listening to your complaints can only think about you. About how he still feels so strongly about you despite knowing that you’ve changed from the innocent and naive girl he knew before. He thinks about how your hand would feel if you were to just reach out and grab it.

He thinks you’d blush bashfully but wouldn’t pull away. Porco has always known of his affect on you and is happy to see that that hasn’t changed.

But he can’t bring himself to ask you to give him a chance. Like before the words just don’t seem to leave his mouth. He can’t see the benefits of risking what you already have for something uncertain. Especially if it doesn't work out.

---

‘You’re my inspiration.’

The fourth painting is created two weeks after the second and third.

Porco’s mother had heard you were in town and basically forced Porco to invite you to dinner before you head out for some other foreign country. You’d been commissioned by some famous singer to take photos of them for their next concert and you were never one to turn down such an exciting job.

You’d leave as early as next Monday but before that you would attend dinner with Porco and his parents.

The dinner was short and mostly filled with subtle hints from his mother that the two of you should get together. Parents always did that, didn’t they? Put their heads into a situation when they think that two individuals would fit together instead of trying to read the room and see why they aren’t. But Porco can blame his mother, not when she looks so happy talking to you.

Eventually, you head into this room (though it’s more like a studio) and see the first three paintings he’s made.

Porco would have thought you’d been weirded out if not a little uncomfortable but you were ecstatic. He daresay inspired. Thinking back on it he supposes that you, being an artist yourself, saw it more as a mutual and professional relationship rather than something romantic and personal.

You told him that he’d be able to make it professional. That his work would go on to be more popular than your own.

Then, for the first time in years, you ask him to take a photo.

Porco paints you with a bright smile. An excited one that resembles the ones you used to always have when you were young. You can’t see the top half of your face as you hold a camera up towards the viewers but anyone looking can tell that looking at him (or the viewer) with a warmth that’s reserved only for those that you hold in the highest regard.

Back then, Porco wondered if you thought about those paintings of his when you left. If you wondered about the other people he might have painted or the other things that might have inspired him.

If you knew that you inspired him.

He never found himself able to tell you that himself. It was simply… too embarrassing. Or at least back then it had been too embarrassing. Now he wonders how you might have reacted if you knew in the first place.

---

‘Would you like to dance?’

A year after your brief meeting in your hometown Porco receives an invitation to your latest showcase. It’s a traditional sort of galla in commemoration of your latest Muse, ‘The Dancer’. Porco doesn't know much about the dancer - just that you happened to meet them while photographing the wedding and were taken aback.

Porco had only decided to attend because the gala was being held close to where he happened to be staying.

And here is where he takes the inspiration for the fifth painting.

Everyone, including you, is wearing masks and beautiful flowing clothes. The women are in bright dresses and the men in warmly coloured tuxedos. The dress code had been formal but Porco hadn’t been expecting something like this. Porco had gone to the gala wearing a dark green suit, his military uniform.

He’s given strange looks but the only gaze that really matters is the one from you.

He paints you from the side as you stare off into the crowd. Your clothing is breezier and lighter than what the others around you are wearing and it matches the green Porco has decided to wear. You’re staring out onto the dance floor but all Porco can see is you.

Your hands are behind you back in the painting. As if you’re peacefully staring out at something scarene.

And here, Porco wonders if you want to head out onto the floor. He wonders if you’d take his hand and dance with him. Everyone here seems to be watching you with baited breath but they don’t seem to come any closer. A distance between you and everyone else.

Would you want to dance with him?

He wonders if you even know he’s there.

But you have always been like this. The kind of person to get so swept up into a single moment. Unaware of everything else around you.

Or course, Porco never does manage to ask you to dance. But how could he? Not while you were looking at someone else the way he looked at you.

---

‘I love you.’

The last painting of you is the last moment Porco had spent with you before everything had come crashing down. But it isn’t painted after that moment. It isn’t painted for years and years. It isn’t painted until then.

The canvas is a mixture of blacks and dark blues with a brilliant array of colourful stars.

You’re standing waist deep in water with you back to the audience staring up at the dark sky being filled with splashes and blurs of colour. Bright pinks, blues, yellows and greens. Momentary flashes of colour that have come to be known as fireworks. Porco tried his best to capture the awe and amazement despite not being able to see your face.

You dragged Porco to the late night carnevil to see the fireworks. The two of you had agreed to meet up a year before but Porco hadn’t been expecting to stay here this late into the night.

The two of you had somehow ended up falling into the water when the fireworks had begun.

It was a brilliant moment.

You loved the flash of colour in the sky.

Porco loved the flash of life he saw in your eyes.

And after that night Porco had planned on painting this picture of you immediately. But then… he got sick. And then life got in the way. One major mission and then another life event. And another day of rest would push it onto the next agenda and so fourth.

And it isn’t until he hears the horrible news that the world around him seems to slow.

No, his world had halted.

In all the pain and misery, Porco finally emerges with this piece of you. A cumulation of his blood, sweat and tears. A cumulation of everything he never managed to say. The three words that he wishes he could have at least told you once.

And it’s strange.

Back then, he’d never been able to say those words - and he doesn't think he ever would have even if things had been different. He’d have never been able to say those words because he knew that you never felt the same way that he had.

---

“Who is she?” Asks a young girl.

Porco thinks that she reminds him of you. Sure her appearance and clothing is different but she has that same wonderfilled and innocent smile you did when you were in the springtime of your youth. So bold and excited for the world that you’ve yet to meet.

And Porco smiles, “someone I loved.”

Fall in love with someone that inspires you.

#attack on titan #attack on titan x reader #shingeki no kyojin #shingeki no kyojin x reader #porco galliard x reader #someone you loved #100 ways to fall in love

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oxygenbefore1775 · 1 year

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can you please do warriors at thanksgiving dinner or christmas dinner doesn't matter just some sorta family gathering please?

thanks

oh sure can do - thx for giving me some wiggle room with this req cuz i have no idea what christmas/thanksgiving dinner should look like so family gathering it is

AoT Warriors At A Family Gathering

Annie

is the only one to watch TV playing in the background

whenever a quarrel breaks out (as it frequently does), Annie secretly records it on her phone

abysmally poor in acting out charades so her teammates always have a hard time guessing whatever word Annie is trying to show with her lack-luster movements

when setting up to snap a group pic, Annie gives the next-standing person bunny ears - usually it's Pieck since they are both standing at the front due to their height

Bertholdt

comes a couple of hours early to help with preparations because he knows what havoc certain warriors can bring

also brings baked goods from home for everyone to enjoy

gets into an argument with Porco about some conspiracy theory but will immediately back down as soon as their conversation becomes heated (mainly because of Porco since he can't keep his disagreement to himself)

when playing games, Bert often teams up with Annie and Reiner since it'd be the most versatile team and up to any task - that means, Bert often has to fight Gabi to get Reiner on his team

Colt

offers up his parents' place (since they left the city for the holidays) for the gathering - everything to win over the likes of the cool kids as Colt sees the warriors

always makes sure that everyone's plate and glass is full and frequently goes back and forth between the kitchen and the main room to bring more food

prepares a bunch of games/activities for the guests and gets very upset if the warriors don't show due interest to it

when playing games, Colt wants to be on the same team as Zeke but ends up being mostly a dead weight since Zeke'd be the main brain power

Falco

very displeased that the gathering is taking place at their home

greets each guest at the entrance to explain the rules of the household expecting that these rules are to be followed - in reality, Falco is too mild for policing the guests and enforcing the order so he opts to appear slightly annoyed whenever things aren't going his way

follows every suspicious person (aka Gabi, Porco and Zeke) around the house to prevent any damage to the property they may cause

eventually Falco warms up to the guests and becomes an active participant in the discussions, although he tries a bit too hard to get them to talk - mainly, he tries to strike up conversation with the most untalkative person at the table aka Annie with little success and gets a bit discouraged by her coldness

Gabi

learns that Falco would also be attending the gathering and convinces Reiner to let her tag along

Gabi just has to try every dish at the table and eat all of the dessert - at one point, Reiner had to pull her aside and tell her to leave some for the others

plays Wii sports with Porco - turns out, they are both shit-talkers so every match they have is a cacophany of boasting and insults

would fight Falco if she finds out that he's been intentionally losing to her in the games so that she could win because Gabi finds it incredibly belittling

Pieck

brings most of the alcohol since she knows there won't be any that she'll like

if the warriors decide to play a trivia game, Pieck is automatically forbidden from teaming up with Zeke or else those two would be too powerful in their random knowledge and easily win each time

would probably fuck with everyone by sneaking her way to electric panel and turn on and off the power supply repeatedly

sticks around till the end of the gathering to help with the cleaning (and also to eat the leftovers and drink up the remaining booze)

Porco

greets the kids with a handshake like adults and leaves commentary about the firmness of their handshakes

while playing Wii with Gabi, Porco crashes into the firniture multiple times trying to catch a virtual ball

blocks Reiner out of the group photo by standing right in front of him or accidentally lifting up his arm to cover Reiner's face

Porco is basically looking for a verbal fight since every now and then he'd insert an extremely controversial thesis into the dialogue canvas in hopes it'd spark the continuation of the conversation

Reiner

spends an unhealthy amount of time talking to Colt about Gabi and Falco discussing their recent achievements - mostly it's Colt talking at Reiner and Reiner agreeing with whatever statement Colt is putting out for him

finds an old table for table football and spends the majority of his time around the thing, playing by himself or occasionally having matches with Annie

when splitting into the teams for the upcoming games, Reiner hates to have Bert and Gabi fight over him so Reiner teams up with the mildest of the guests, Pieck

leaves the gathering the first out of all the guests since Gabi was getting too feral and was hard to control

Zeke

like Bertholdt, also shows up early - but not out of the kindness of his heart; Zeke just doesn't like arriving with the majority of guests

at this point, Zeke's been frequenting the Grice household so much that he feels himself at home there and just roams the place freely - no room is off-limits for him

during pre-gathering time Zeke opts to sit either in the kitchen or the main room - wherever the commotion is the biggest - just to watch the preparations from the farthest corner of the room

Zeke would often mention in passing that he has a list of his favourite warriors that he is updating regularly (spoiler alert, colt and pieck are always making it into the list)

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hearts4jean · 2 months

Text

‧₊ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

what aot characters during rainy days

- erwin + levi -

The moment it begins to rain and especially if it feels that the rain is not going to let up for a while, Erwin instantly heads to his room to nap. He even just grabs his blanket and lays on the couch if its quiet enough. (This man can probably sleep through anything). Levi follows, not to nap also but to simply just watch over Erwin. Levi has this eerie feeling come upon him when it rains that something bad would happen especially if its heavy rain. It’s just a motherly instinct of his that makes him feel the need to make sure everyone around him is kept safe. Generally speaking, Levi is a big night owl so he’d catch himself doing that for Erwin even on normal nights; Erwin is not aware he does this but isn’t able to sleep without Levi being there for some odd reason.

- jean + sasha + connie + eren -

Jean, Sasha and Connie would have a ‘tradition’ where they play Monopoly only on rainy days and no other time. It starts raining, ‘Connie get the Monoply out!’, rain stops, alright funs over pack it up guys. Occasionally, EMA would also join them which would cut the game short due to Jean and Eren’s drastically similar taste in game pieces; They would fight over the same one for around 10 minutes without either letting up. Jean would think of being the bigger person but still won’t because “he will never hear the end of it” and “he can’t make Eren feel superior.”

- connie + armin + jean -

Playing snap with Connie is a dangerous game, he’d leave his opponents hand red and sore. Even if you were the one to slam your hand onto the stack of cards, nothing is stopping him to continually slap his hand on top. Armin is a prime victim to this, Jean a former victim but he was smart enough to stop playing card games with Connie. Connie would be watching those cards like a HAWK, treats the simple card game like the hunger games. He does not care if you won the round, he would be slapping your hand until you give up and move it away and let him get the win. (Exactly why Jean stopped playing with him.)

- sasha + hitch + pieck + eren + mikasa + reiner + jean -

Sasha would also adore playing Twister as her secret talent is her flexibility. she’d enjoy playing with Hitch, Pieck and Eren who is forced to join in by Reiner, getting to sit back with Jean as they snicker at the sight. Hitch would have the flexibility of the average person, Pieck however is a strong contender, being on similar levels with Sasha in flexibility. As its only them two left in the game, all attention is turned to the intense twister game happening, Eren in the corner writhing in pain like an old man holding onto his back with Mikasa tending for him. Hange had to stop Connie from announcing to everyone to put their money in to betting on who would win between Sasha and Pieck. There ends up being no winner at all due to how long the game has went that even the rain has stopped, both parties were determined to win which caused them to continue to keep up their best games.

- annie -

Annie absolutely loves the rain and she loves her music, the ultimate combination when they’re put together. It’s the perfect opportunity to play her music out loud instead of in her earphones since no one would be able to hear it from the rain. Why no one has any idea of what she listens to and hates music genres she enjoys. When listening to music while it’s raining, she enjoys being away from everyone and just watching the rain from her window. This allows her to calm down and reflect about anything on her mind. The gentle music in the background helps. Her block out whatever is happening outside of her enclosed space.

- bertoldt + historia -

Random duo I know. But I feel that they’d absolutely love baking together. Bert definitely knows how to make some killer sugar cookies. they would be in the same college culinary class and work really well together. Bert would be in charge of the batter and Hisu would be in charge of making icing to decorate which the they would invite everyone to decorate their own little cookie.

what everyone decorates on their cookie

eren: jean but like really ugly and snickers while doing it a everyone tries to guess what the hell he’s doing.

“Why is it’s teeth sticking out?”

“Monobrow..?”

he would be asking for a death wish if he did a horse.

mikasa: little chibis of her and eren wrapped in her scarf decorated with little purple flowers

armin: inspired by his futon in aot jr high

jean: was going to put his artistic integrity to good use but then he saw erens cookie, after snapping erens in half he took his revenge and also did a little ugly eren (also added stink marks above his head)

connie: a really horrible drake side profile thing.

sasha: herself with connie and jean which then smudged and she got super upset over it.

annie: a little sleeping cat :)

hange: her glasses with a light purple background and her name

bert: tried to do something inspired with the weather outside and it doesn’t look that bad

ymir and reiner: historia. they try to get her to vote who did the best one

historia: cute little design with pastel colours and flowers

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imjustsomebodyelse · 7 months

Text

first words

vampire!pieck, part 4 relevant background info below

#vampire!pieck #vampire pieck #fanart #attack on titan #snk #porco galliard #pieck finger #shingeki no kyoujin #gallipieck #aot #marcel galliard #serupkpk #pokopiku #pokkopikku #pokkopiku #serupiku #ot3 #throuple

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mayariviolet · 6 months

Text

Hello Team, I have been obsessively following this fanfiction written by the @spiteless-xo for MONTHS! I commented on a couple of songs, and home girl said one day, we'll have a playlist, and I am here to deliver. Also, shout out to @shepnicolo. Please go check out their playlist. It's amazing, heart-wrenching, etc.

Link to The Boys at Work: https://archiveofourown.org/works/44843530/chapters/112829014

As inspired by @shepnicolo I decided to give explanations to each song <3.

NOTE: Basically, this playlist follows chapter by chapter a character's inner monologue as well as fitting into the situation

Yeah, this is the playlist cover I made; what about it?

Side A:

"Dinner and Diatribes" - "I knew it from the first look of mischief in your eyes. Your friends are a fate that befell me. Head is a talking tide. I'd suffer Hell if you'd tell me what you'd do to me tonight."

reader x eren meet for the first time in a club and are literally so horned up that they immediately fall into their own self-destruction just to sleep together. Also, this song is a good introduction to their relationship up until the third arc IMO. I pictured this song mostly from Eren's perspective because he literally is so infatuated with reader that he does not care about anyone else around him.

2. "A Night to Remember" - "I swore I'd seen you before. Underneath the sheets, you enchanted me and whispered sweet nothings in my ear."

Readers' pov of sleeping with Eren bc who wouldn't want to imagine sleeping with Eren also, they LITREALLY slept together after like 24 hours. And Eren would not stop whispering those sweet nothings to reader trying to get them to be obsessed with him (it worked)

3. "The Party & The After Party" - "High heel shoes make you six feet tall. Everybody wants you; you can have them all."

In chapter three, I pictured this song switching between Jean and Eren's perspectives after the truth or dare game. It was mostly Eren because he was doing the absolute MOST during that game. Also, Jean literally being so insecure and jealous that this chapter is so Abel-coded.

4. "D.D" - "I've been here times before, but I was too Blind to see that you seduce every man. This time, you won't seduce me."

Dirty Diana could be either Reader x Eren or Jean x Pieck, depending on your feelings. Pieck is more of the embodiment of D.D., considering she was trying so hard to seduce Jean (lowkey worked, though...) Eren x Reader did sleep together, though so #win

5. "Dress" - "Even in my worst lies, you saw the truth in me"

The foreshadowing here hehe... ifykyk (see the bathroom scene in chapter 3)

6. "Kill Bill" - "I'm so mature, I'm so mature, I got me therapist to tell me there's other men, but I don't want none, I just want you."

Reader is insane, and this is how I pictured what she was thinking when Pieck crashed her lunch date...

7. "Double Take" "You're my vice, you're my muse"

Hmm this song read to me as Jean to the reader especially since the whole song goes back and forth between liking someone as a friend but that 'what if' that lingers in the background.

8. "Die For You - Remix" - "Even though we're goin' through it, and it makes you feel alone (no, no), Just know that I would die for you."

Eren doesn't know it yet, but he does act like he would die for the reader (especially in all of the scenes @ the point). Also, the reader is so attached to venting to Eren is crazy to me like she is obsessed no matter what she says...

9. "The Morning- "All that money, the money is the motive"

I thought of the chapter where Eren comforts the reader about everything at work. Yes, I know money isn't her only motivation (mostly pride), but having financial security is just a metaphor for her lack of security in her relationships. She works like she has something to prove to Eren and Jean and herself.

10. "Talk"- "I won't deny I've got in my mind now (hey, yeah) all the things I would do. So I try to talk refined for fear that you find out (hey, yeah) How I'm imagining you."

Eren has to control himself around the reader so he doesn't freak her out with how badly he wants her is just so <3. HE IS TRYING TO CHANGE TEAM!

11. "Work Song" -"Nothing in her room but an empty crib."

Ifykyk (the end of Eren Fucking Yeager). Like y'all know damn well Hozier wasn't talking about a room he was talking about her pu- and Eren furnished that room with a crib TWICE

12. "The Hills" - "When I'm fucked up, that's the real me, babe...Who are you to judge?"

This song encapsulates the end of Eren x Readers' relationship, especially in the chapter 'Shameless' when the reader calls out Eren's shitty behaviour and the fiasco that occurs after pushing her to Jean. This song (to me) directly challenges the reader to start thinking about who is she to judge in all of their interactions with Eren and Jean?

13. "Super Rich Kids" - "Too many white lies and white lines...I'm searching for a real love."

This is an obligatory Frank Ocean song for Jean because he starts telling the reader his true feelings. His life as a rich kid has been fulfilling, but at what cost? He only had vapid interactions with those around him until he grew up later.

14 "Stargirl Interlude" - "I shouldn't cry, but I love it Starboy"

it's a sex song. But the tone completely shifts after this. Looking at it deeper reader knows that being with Jean shouldn't feel like constantly crying or in pain. Jean (who is so Abel-coded) knows this which we can see in the lyric where The Weeknd says "I just want to see you shine 'cause you know you are a star girl".

------------------------

this is the mixtape cover i made btw <3 thank u canva!

Side B:

15. "Fire and Desire" - "Tell me should I cut these other girls out of my life cause we never decided"

These two (I am including Star Girl interlude) are together because they (Jean x Reader) are both. so. horny. But the fact they literally cannot decide what they are is so infuriating (but way too realistic trust me I know). So horny sex music and sad yearning for them both.

16. "Easy"- "Love don't come easy, it don't come easy"

This song captures the conversation between Eren and Armin, especially when Armin tells Eren that all his feelings are valid but complicated and that love doesn't come easy. Also translates to how frustrating it is for reader to prove to Jean that she loves him, they're both realizing that it's hard to love.

17. "Feelings" - "I over-communicate and feel too much. I just complicate it when I say too much."

Literally reader being so overwhelmed with everything and turning to sex in order to communicate how she's feeling is insane to me but no matter what she says to Jean it's never enough. Just really listen to the song... trust...

18. "Maroon" - "The burgundy on my t-shirt when you splashed your wine into me and how the blood rushed into my cheeks; so scarlet it was maroon."

This entire song is about Jean and readers break up. Especially how he always brings up Eren's shirt and the cheap wine being exchanged on their lips.

19. "Complicated" - "Tell me, why do you have to go and make things so complicated? I see the way you're acting like somebody else gets me frustrated"

Reader's inner monologue when is FINALLY AND RIGHTFULLY thinking about how Jean always complicates things (she is not entirely blameless obvi.) She is reflecting on whether or not this is. the same Jean she's been friends with for years.

20. "Broken Clocks" - "I've paid enough of petty dues. I've had enough of shitty news"

I really appreciated the readers' mental health arc. <3 Like YAS try not to pay attention to these bums girl and fix yourself! Even though she becomes self-destructive again. True SZA energy.

21. "Unknown / Nth" - "Do you know, I could break beneath the weight Of the goodness, I still carry for you. That I'd walk so far just to take the injury of finally knowing you."

Andrew, how is the reader supposed to sha la la in these trying times? Anyway, this song is Jean thinking about how much he loves the reader and that because he knows her so well, he KNOWS how much he can hurt her. Also, it could be read from the perspective of Eren, loving reader to the point he steps back from her so that she is happy. (Especially the latest chapter where he says he would have still fallen for her in university and he thinks that she would still love him either way </3)

22. "Godspeed" - "Still, I'll always be there for you, I let go of my claim on you..."

JEAN SAYING TO EREN THAT HE CAN HAVE READER, AND BOTH OF THEM ESSENTIALLY LETTING HER CHOOSE BY NOT TALKING TO HER, MADE ME SICK! THEY WILL ALWAYS BE THERE FOR HER, BUT THEY CAN'T BE WHAT SHE NEEDS EVEN THOUGH THEY'RE WHO SHE WANTS </3

23. "Midnight Rain" - "All of me changed like midnight rain"

Okay, I know this is written from the perspective of a girl prioritizing her career over their relationship but this is so JEAN-coded! READER WANTED COMFORTABLE BUT HE WANTED THAT PAIN! He is a sick fuck.

24. "Bug Like an Angel" - "Sometimes. a drink feels like family."

The sparkling fruit wine that Reiner said was a cheap gift (a reflection of the shallow relationship reader x jean had). The back and forth between how reader drinks their coffee/tea and the loss and gain of familiarity. Yeah.

25. "Champagne Problems" - "How evergreen, our group of friends. Don't think we'll say that word again."

When there are two friend group breakups in this fan fic </3. Also, this song speaks for itself. Jean was never ready, so he had to watch the reader leave. Jean also has an ABDUNDANCE of champagne problems he has to sort out (hopefully soon, King).

26. "Tolerate It" - "I know my love should be celebrated, but you tolerate it."

The way Jean, no matter what he does, never openly celebrates readers' love is sick. She literally waits at the door for him to accept her love. No matter where she is, whatever circumstances, she idolizes him and waits on whatever he says, hoping he will outwardly say and do something that shows her that he loves her. </3

27. "Right Where You Left Me" - "And you're sitting in front of me. At the restaurant, when I was still the one you want... Everybody moved on."

Yeah, tell me that isn't reader literally yearning at the restaurant when Jean completely ignored her to stroke his ego with Pieck. He wanted her so badly but was so scared. Everyone moved on from that instance, but she felt like a part of her died. Even when he broke up with her in a heartless way, she stayed thinking about that situation.

28. "Francessca" - "Da-, Darlin', I would do it again (ah-ah, ah-ah) If I could hold you for a minute. Da-, Darlin' I'd go through it again."

LAST SONG!!! In my opinion, this is an accumulation of the reader, Jean and Eren's internal monologue. I think they would endure their ups and downs if it meant they could be together again. ESPECIALLY EREN!!! I mean, this song is based on that couple immortalized in Dante's Inferno who were put in hell for literally being in love.

Okay, if you have read this far, thank you. I love you. Thank you, @spiteless-xo, for giving me something to look forward to every Tuesday <3.

#tbaw #spitelessx0 #erenyeager #jean kirstein #eren yeager x reader #jean kirstein x reader #aot x reader #aot fanfiction #ao3 fanfic #spotify playlist #hozier #theweeknd #taylorswift #mitski #ao3fic #ao3feed #Spotify

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pickalilywrites · 10 days

Note

Lily, would you write some pokopiku? 🥹

anon, i will always write some pkpk!

breaking free

pokopiku. high school musical au. 3984 words.

Soaring, flying

There’s not a star in heaven that we can’t reach

Porco can only recall those two lines, but the rest of the muddled melody plays in his mind for days on end. Sometimes he doesn’t know if he’s imagining it or if it’s just Pieck humming it beside him. When he’s lost in a daze, that song playing in the background of his mind, he’ll startle from his daydream and turn expecting to see her by his side only to realize that it was all in his head the entire time.

He doesn’t hate music. In fact, he actually kind of likes it. He might not go out of his way to attend concerts or buy musical tickets. Hell, he hasn’t even paid attention to any of the low-budget productions that his school puts on every semester until recently. He just likes to strum the lonely guitar sitting in his living room every once in a while, and he admittedly doesn’t mind hearing Pieck humming beside him when they should be focusing on their chemistry experiment. It’s just that he has other things he should be thinking about: how to improve his free throws, the upcoming basketball game with Shiganshina High, and the basketball championship that his team is set on winning. He has no time for songs or dances no matter how many fliers Pieck shoves under his nose.

He finds it curious that she’s even interested in the school’s upcoming musical, although she’s never been normal in the first place. She had transferred here a month into the new school year. The teachers adored her for her intelligence and her willingness to participate in class. Her academic credentials were undoubtedly impressive: a straight A student with a dozen math and science championship titles under her belt. She would, of course, be representing Liberio High in the International Math Olympiad with all the other math whizzes in their school. She fit quite neatly into her niche of smart, intellectual students destined to graduate one year early and attend an Ivy League just as Porco fit neatly into his own niche of big, burly athletes that were aiming to attend a top-rated sports university on an athletic scholarship.

Porco is putting his books away in his locker when someone slams it shut, making him jump.

“Jesus, Pieck!” he yelps. He can feel his heart pounding in his chest. “What the fuck? You could have slammed my fingers in there.”

“Oh, please. I wouldn’t have done that to the school’s basketball star shooting guard,” Pieck says with a crooked smile. She leans against his locker, her head resting against the cool metal door. “I made sure your precious fingers were out of the way before I closed the locker door.”

“I’m the point guard,” Porco says even though he’s had to correct Pieck on his position on the basketball team multiple times at this point. He has a feeling she purposely gets it wrong just to annoy him. He can feel the tips of his ears begin to sting, although he doesn’t quite know why. “What do you want anyway? You don’t have to keep reminding me to write my lab report. They’re individual anyway.”

“Aw, you’re so grown up now,” Pieck coos, and Porco wants to cover his ears before they turn completely red but he resists the urge and keeps his hands at his side. “No, that’s not what I wanted to talk to you about. I just wanted to tell you that I signed you up for the upcoming school musical. The auditions are tomorrow.”

Porco straightens up in alarm. He would think this were a joke, but he wouldn’t put it past Pieck to scrawl his name down on the audition list for real. She had been talking about it for the past few weeks when auditions were first announced, but he didn’t think she would actually do it. She had math competitions to study for and he had his basketball games. With all the time they put in their current extracurriculars, he didn’t know how they would even have the time to prepare for a musical on the slim chance they managed to pass auditions.

“You’re joking, right?” he asks, but he feels as if he already knows the answer to that question when he sees the way Pieck’s smile never breaks. He runs a hand through his hair and curses when he sees the grease that covers his fingers from his hair gel. He glares at Pieck as if this is her fault, but she doesn’t seem deterred. “Pieck, I’m not a musical guy. It’s fine if you want to juggle all of these different things — math whiz, science nerd, theater geek — but I have my hands full as it is being -”

“- a jock?” Pieck finishes for him, eye brow raised. She rolls her eyes, a laugh escaping her lips. For some reason, Porco is beginning to feel ashamed. Pieck pushes herself off Porco’s locker. Her smile is a little less relaxed now, stretched into a thin, tight line. “Come on, Porco. You can’t seriously subscribe to the strict status quo that all your classmates do. It’s all made up by teenagers, for God’s sake. You must want more in life than being shoved into a shoebox labeled ‘high school basketball star.’”

“Well, maybe I like being a high school basketball star. Maybe you’re dissatisfied with being good at one thing, but I’m perfectly happy with it,” Porco snaps. He hikes the strap of his backpack up his shoulder and looks down at Pieck, but the frown that has replaced her smile doesn’t make him feel very good about defending himself.

Pieck purses her lips and looks as if she’s about to turn away, but she opens her mouth instead. “You know, I signed you up because I thought it would be fun, and also because I thought you would be good at it.” She looks down at the tiles on the hallway floor, reaching up to brush a lock of hair behind her ear. "I hear you singing sometimes, and I think it’s amazing. You probably don’t even realize it, but you were singing just a few minutes earlier. It was under your breath, but I heard you.”

Porco’s cheeks begin to flush and he wants to deny it, but he knows that what Pieck says is true. He’s been singing the song for the audition piece because it plays in his head on repeat. He wants to snap at Pieck again and blame her for getting the song stuck in his head in the first place, but he knows that there isn’t any point. She isn’t saying anything hurtful, just pointing something out what he’s been trying to ignore for years: he enjoys music. If it wasn’t the song for the musical, it would be some other song that he’d be singing under his breath. Even if he’d never admit it out loud, he has thought about what it would feel like to be standing underneath a spotlight on a stage instead of a basketball court.

“It’s okay if you just want to play basketball, but … I don’t think it’s bad to like other things either,” Pieck says. She raises her brown eyes to meet his hazel ones. One hand reaches out, and Pieck’s fingertips graze Porco’s arm. “We’re too young to be playing personas that other people have written for us. We should be figuring out who we are on our own terms without minding what other people might think of us.”

Pieck squeezes his arm and Porco watches as she leaves. A few people glance in Pieck’s direction. She’s been a spectacle at their school ever since she had transferred here, and people weren’t used to seeing someone who was on the math team speak with a member of the basketball team. Now that Porco thinks about it, he doesn’t know why that would be enough reason for people to stop and stare. People should be allowed to associate with whoever they like regardless of what clubs they’re in or sports they play. He knows it’s ridiculous, but he still feels embarrassed anyway and pulls up the collar of his bomber jacket and skulks away as if he’s done something shameful.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

“Are you auditioning for the musical or something?”

Porco has never particularly liked Reiner Braun, but the power forward’s voice is especially grating today. After his conversation with Pieck earlier this morning, Porco finds he’s especially irritable, but he doesn’t want to take it out on anyone recklessly so he grits his teeth and asks, “What are you talking about?”

A panic seizes his chest and he can feel his heart rate pick up. Paranoia begins to pick away at Porco, whispering in his ear. Reiner Braun must have seen you talking with Pieck. He must know that you’ve been thinking about what Pieck had said. He must have seen your name on the audition list. Porco doesn’t know why the thought of Reiner knowing about his conversation with Pieck bothers him so much, but he tries to play it nonchalant despite the clamminess in his hands. He shoots a ball at the hoop in front of him and misses terribly.

Reiner, always happy to see Porco failing, grins when he sees Porco’s missed shot. He turns back to Porco, a knowing smile on his face. “Come on, everyone’s heard you singing the audition song in the locker room. Even if you’re singing it under your breath, we can all hear you. You’re not seriously thinking of auditioning, are you?”

Last year, Porco would have scoffed and told Reiner he was stupid for even entertaining the thought. A basketball player didn’t have any place in the school musical. People at this school adhere so much to their little stereotyped boxes that Porco never would have considered auditioning for the school musical until Pieck had waltzed in and started singing that damn song. Now is his chance to deny it, but he doesn’t want to. All he can think about instead is how annoying it is to have Reiner’s judgmental sneer in his face and how there isn’t any harm in just auditioning for a dumb school play.

“I don’t really see how that’s any of your business,” Porco finds himself saying instead and Reiner steps back, startled at his teammate’s answer.

“Well, it kind of is my business. It’s everyone’s business. You can’t be making these types of decisions by yourself,” Reiner begins, and already Porco finds his temper rising. Reiner continues, not noticing the way Porco’s grip on the basketball tighten. “You’re part of a basketball team, and a pretty important part of the team, and it’s everyone’s job to get to the championship. If you’re taking time to sing and dance on stage for a stupid school play, you might cost us first place. We haven’t lost first place in years. The whole school is counting on us.”

“I didn’t ask for this responsibility!” Porco snaps. Why should an entire championship hinge on the shoulders of a teenage boy? Why shouldn’t he be able to do a silly little play even if his talents might lie elsewhere? Why can’t he just do things he enjoys without everyone having a say in what he should and shouldn’t do?

Reiner’s smile falters and his brow furrows. “You’ve been awfully strange lately. Basketball used to be the only thing you cared about. The rest of the team has been concerned, too. ” The corner of Reiner’s lip twitches in a knowing smile. “I know you’ve been getting closer to Pieck, but I don’t think you should hang out with her anymore. You only started acting weird after meeting her.”

Porco’s patience was already wearing thin. At the mention of Pieck’s name — with the implication that Pieck was the reason for his declining performance in basketball practice — his patience snaps entirely, but rather than throwing a fist or hurling insults at his teammate, Porco simply asks Reiner, “Why are you dating Historia?”

Reiner’s smile falters once more, caught off guard by Porco’s question. “Why are you asking -”

“Why do you like Historia?” Porco interrupts.

Reiner’s brow furrows and he shrinks down, his shoulders hunching over. It’s a stark contrast to the way he typically holds himself: confident, brash, bold. Now, he seems uncertain as he fumbles for an answer. “She’s the head cheerleader. Why wouldn’t I like her?” Reiner replies, but his smile is too shaky for his response to be one hundred percent truthful.

“So if she weren’t the head cheerleader, you wouldn’t even give her a second glance?” Porco asks.

“Why are you asking me this?” Reiner asks. His cheeks are turning red as he becomes more and more flustered. He pulls at the collar of his jersey, fanning himself, and turns his face away from Porco. “Look, I like Historia. Doesn’t it just make sense that we’d be together? I’m the power forward on the basketball team. She’s the head cheerleader. We complement each other.”

“Do you, though?” Porco steps forward, challenging Reiner. Reiner had outgrown him years ago, gaining several inches in height as everyone was going through their growth spurts. Porco could never keep up with him in height, but now he feels like he’s like he’s the one towering over Reiner as the power forward continues to shrink down with doubt. “Forget about whatever cliques or extracurricular groups we’re in for a second. Do you like her? Do you like being with her? What do you two even talk about?”

Porco feels like he knows the answers to all those questions, and he asks them anyway. Two months ago, Reiner and Historia had never even spoken a word to each other. It was only when Pieck had transferred here that they began talking. When Pieck was about to be seated in the back, Reiner raised his hand and volunteered to give up his seat in the second row for her so that Pieck would be able to see better. He sat next to Historia and, although the cheerleader seemed disinterested at first, the two eventually went out, but Porco always felt strange about their relationship. They didn’t seem affectionate except for the occasional chaste kiss on the cheek at basketball games. When they hung out at parties, Historia was always tapping away at her phone. Reiner talked to his friends on the basketball court than he talked to Historia. They are the biggest couple on campus, but they don’t seem to like each other very much.

Reiner must know that, too, because his face begins to contort in confusion and then in anger. “What’s your fucking problem, Galliard?”

“What’s your problem?” Porco asks. “What makes you think you have the right to criticize my relationship with Pieck when your relationship with Historia seems so vapid in comparison? Woohoo, hot basketball star with the head cheerleader, but you guys don’t even talk to each other unless people are watching you. You have a deeper relationship with Bertholdt than Historia.”

Something about what Porco says angers Reiner even more. In his anger, Reiner grabs the basketball from Porco only to throw it angrily back at him. He throws it with such force that Porco has to stumble backward when he catches it. The basketball feels like a punch to the gut.

“Fuck you,” Reiner snarls, and he turns and stalks off but not in time to hide the slight trembling of his voice.

Porco can feel his blood pumping, thrumming in his ears. He grips the basketball tightly between his hands and turns towards the hoop. He’s standing at the free throw line, but the hoop somehow feels further than it normally is. He prepares himself to take a shot, bending down slightly to aim. He flings the ball forward and misses entirely. It isn’t even close.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

For all his brave words to Reiner and challenging who they should and shouldn’t be associating with, Porco doesn’t make any further moves to rock the boat. He wants to avoid the curious glances from his classmates and judgmental stares from his peers. He keeps his lips pressed tightly together. He doesn’t even dare to hum the song under his breath for fear of being overheard. He doesn’t want anyone — any innocent classmates passing by, Pieck, or even himself — to get the wrong idea.

Still, he finds the flyer being slipped over his desk every day leading up to the audition. Pieck doesn’t say much when she sends the flyer in his direction. She slips it to him wordlessly every morning before their chemistry lecture starts and then ignores him for the rest of the class unless they have to discuss the reading together or work on an experiment. She’s not her usual bubbly self even when he’s kinder to her than usual, asking her mundane questions about her day or classes that he normally wouldn’t. He’s grateful for her curt answers no matter how short because at least that means he gets to hear his voice. He wonders if he should apologize, but he doesn’t know what for exactly. He’s never really been the best at apologies in the first place.

At the end of each chemistry class, she taps again at the flyer. She raises her eyes towards his face but never quite meets his eyes. Quietly, she always says, “The audition is soon. It would be good if you could make it.”

He always makes up the same excuse. His words always ring hollow in his ears. He wonders if Pieck hears it, too, the hesitancy in his voice when he says he can’t audition because he doesn’t know the words and he doesn’t have the time to rehearse because he has basketball practice. The truth is that he knows every single line, he’s memorized it and hears her sing every word in his head every second of every day. He knows the song by heart and he can envision himself singing it alongside her, his voice harmonizing with hers as they stand underneath the spotlight. Even thinking about it is thrilling. It makes his heart beat faster than any basketball game ever did, but it’s not something he’s willing to ever admit so he ignores the pounding in his chest and tells Pieck there’s no way he could ever audition. He isn’t meant for it. She should go audition for it if it’s something she really wants to do, but she shouldn’t count on him to show up.

“I think you’d do great,” Pieck says on the day of the audition. Her finger is pointed towards the flyer once more, tapping on the date which is circled in red pen in case Porco misses it. She finally meets his gaze today, and she looks almost hopeful even though he’s tried to crush any hopes she had every other day.

“I have practice,” Porco mumbles, and he doesn’t even take the flyer this time. He leaves it on his desk and grabs his backpack instead, hustling out of the room as fast as he can so he can avoid Pieck’s disappointed gaze.

He hurries off to practice, but it feels like he’s running away from something. Even once he’s changed into his jersey and running on the court with his teammates, he can’t stop thinking of how he had left Pieck standing alone at their desk. He had never promised her anything, and yet it feels as if he’s abandoned her. His mind is filled with her — her lonely silhouette standing underneath the bright stage lights, her disappointed expression every time he turned her down, her voice echoing across the empty auditorium. He doesn’t hear the voice of his coach yelling at him or his teammates shouting at him when they tell him to pass the ball. All he can hear is that song again, the song that he would have sang if he went to the audition.

“What’s wrong with you?” his coach shouts before pulling him out of practice to sit on the bench.

Porco wishes he could answer, but it’s too complex to give a straight answer so he sits on the cold, metal bench and stares at his shoes. Every so often, he glances at the clock on the wall and grows more anxious with every minute that passes. It’s almost four o’clock. That’s when the auditions are meant to conclude. Had Pieck already gone? Had she auditioned by herself, singing that song that was meant to be a duet? Had she gone on without him, doing something he was too afraid to do himself?

He tastes blood on his tongue and jerks his head back in surprise. He hadn’t even noticed he had started chewing on his thumb nail. He bit too close to the quick and now his thumb is bleeding. He staunches the blood by pressing it against the hem of his shorts, but the material does little to stop the bleeding. He curses and looks back up at the clock. How can move so agonizingly slow and so fast at the same time?

Without warning, he stands up and begins to run toward the gym entrance.

“Galliard!” the coach shouts. “Where the fuck are you going?”

Where I should have been all along, Porco thinks, but he doesn’t say it out loud. He has more important things to do.

He stumbles through the back of the auditorium and he can see other people who have just finished auditioning looking at him quizzically. They’re people he can’t recognize, part of the theater geek circle that he doesn’t associate with. They’re probably wondering why he’s there at all, and Porco would wonder the same thing if he couldn’t hear Pieck’s voice ringing through the theater.

He creeps through the backstage towards the sound of Pieck’s voice, clear as crystal as she sings half a duet. It sounds empty without the other person singing the other half, but she keeps her voice steady as she sings, undeterred that she’s singing alone.

Porco finally reaches the curtain and pushes it back slightly to catch a glimpse of Pieck. Her back is turned towards him and she faces the drama instructor, her voice never wavering even under the director’s stern gaze. She only has the piano to accompany her, but she sings confidently. Her voice fills the entire theater and Porco can hear it, the missing half of the song. He doesn’t realize that he’s singing along with her, that it’s not his imagination that’s filling in the gap but his own voice, until Pieck turns toward him.

She doesn’t look angry at him or even surprised. Her lips turn upward as she sings and she gestures for him to step forward, to join her onstage, and he takes her invitation, never missing a beat even when he feels the heat of the spotlight on his skin.

“We’re soaring, flying,” Porco sings, his voice mingling with Pieck’s. He thought his legs would shake as soon as he stepped on stage, but he feels at ease by her side. “There’s not a star in heaven we can’t reach.”

His eyes meet Pieck’s and he can feel his own lips stretch into a smile even as he sings. He’s not sure if he’s meant to be on stage. He doesn’t know if he’ll even make it past this audition, but he knows that this feels thrilling, like he’s broken chains that he didn’t know were shackled to him. He feels like he’s finally free.

#snk #pokkopiku #pokopiku #porco galliard #pieck finger #high school musical au #hsm au #asks #answered #anon #anonymous #requests

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erwinsvow · 2 years

Text

𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦.

summary: it's gotten so bad that people won't even leave their homes at night- bodies stacking up and no end in sight. your boyfriend eren swears he'll protect you, though him and his best friend jean don't seem all that affected by it.

warnings: read carefully. frequent mentions of death/murder, details about murders, gore (described about deaths), reader throws up, gaslight, manipulation, angst, allusions to kidnapping and murder, frequent mentions of paranoia, on edge/scared reader, and overall based on a horror movie.

word count: 4.5k

author's note: and here it is! this is chapter one, just a lot of exposition and backstory. chapter two (with the smut lmao) coming soon!!

Pieck hadn’t thought Porco would get there so early.

He was coming home from practice, which was nearly across the town at the football field, adjacent to the gym and sports complex. Their college town was small, but it wasn’t that small. It was at least a fifteen, twenty minute drive, and given that he had only just sent her a picture of himself and Reiner in the locker room maybe ten minutes ago, there was no way he was here already.

But when she goes to open the door, turning on the porch light and peeking her head through the little curtains, she’s met with an empty front door. She could’ve sworn the doorbell went off—or maybe it was Porco’s unnecessarily loud knock, but she knew she heard something.

The television emits another obnoxious scream from the horror movie she had on, and she dismisses the thought entirely. It could’ve been the wind, or even just the background noise playing with her mind while she was distracted in her own thoughts.

It felt eerie to her now, living in the same little house that Hannah Diamant had once lived in. Hannah and her fiancé Franz were older than Pieck and Porco, already graduated, with real jobs and an apartment that wasn’t passed down to a new set of roommates every fall semester. For some reason, Pieck couldn’t let go of the fact that Hannah had lived in this house—watched movies with Franz on the couch, made popcorn on the stovetop only, since it tasted better than the microwave kind, and did all of the normal things that she did with Porco now.

But Hannah and Franz were dead now.

Pieck couldn’t figure out, for the life of her, what had really happened. The local sheriff’s office, not used to more than busting the occasional rager and giving tickets to drunk drivers, kept saying that they were working on it. That it was likely some kind of an accident, that this town hadn’t seen a real, true murder in decades.

Maybe it didn’t feel real since she had known them. They had been, what, seniors when she was a freshmen? Hannah had been in the same sorority as Pieck’s freshmen year roommate, and Franz had been on the lacrosse team with Porco, before he switched over to football.

It had to be that. Deaths don’t make much sense to begin with, but it’s harder when it was someone you could recollect vague memories with, someone who you’ll now never see again.

It must’ve been an accident, after all, who was running around killing people in their little college town? The school was mid-sized, everyone knew each other through association and there was nowhere for a killer to hide in a place like this.

A hard knock on the door shakes Pieck out of her thoughts immediately. She seems to be frozen for a second, but another knock gets her up, walking to the door. She thought she’d left the porch light on, for Porco, but she must’ve not, since it looked pitch black outside. Pieck opened the door, thoughts already leaving Hannah and Franz and coming to her boyfriend.

Her hand searches for the light switch, flicking it on.

“Took you long enough, Porco, the popcorn’s about to burn-” She’s only expecting Pock, sweaty in his uniform, dumping his gear near the door and engulfing her in a hug, but all she sees is red.

And so she screams, the movie mimicking her and almost mocking, until she feels the sharp blade puncture her body, and the last thing she sees is that mask.

...

You couldn’t remember the last time you felt so on edge.

The little town you lived in next to your college didn’t seem so little anymore—in fact, it seemed bigger and scarier than ever. The streets where you drove around with your friends and the bars you frequented with your roommates were now avoided whenever possible. You were too scared to even leave your window open anymore, to run to the gas station for movie-night snacks with Sasha and Hitch, while Annie yelled out the window, reminding you not to forget her candy.

Your life, and the lives of many others, quickly became a series of repetitive days, going to campus for classes and never staying past sunset, returning home and locking all the doors and windows and praying for sunrise to come and to not be awoken by the sound of your phone buzzing from your nightstand, a text from your best friend telling you that another student was found dead.

It always happened at night—the murders. It seemed to you that the killer was practically warning everyone, like an old wives tale used to scare children, warning everyone to not go out past dark, not to think that they’ll be the exception.

The most recent one that happened took the whole town by shock—Porco and Pieck, the football player and his highschool sweetheart girlfriend. It was almost something out of a movie, people that were adored by everyone. You couldn’t believe it yourself—you had known them both since you started college.

It was terrifying, to an extent where you weren’t sure if you could be more frightened, after hearing the gruesome way they had died from Jean and Connie’s story-telling format.

But what really had you scared, what made you triple-check the locks before bed and never walk anywhere alone, was the fact that this wasn’t even the first murder.

You hadn’t known Hannah and Franz personally—they had already graduated by the time you started college. But the news of their death had slipped past you, all of you, while the police struggled to find answers that were now clear as daylight: there was a serial killer in town.

You weren’t sure how you would get through this, when you hadn’t so much as faced the death of a pet in your life so far, but your boyfriend was being incredibly helpful. More helpful than you thought was possible from a college-aged boy, but then again, Eren was full of surprises.

“I can’t believe they’re gone,” you had said to him, wiping away your tears and leaning against his shoulder. “That I’ll go to class tomorrow and they won’t be there. It seems so strange.”

“I know, baby,” he said, rubbing his hand on your shoulder and soothing you.

“A-and, both of them were couples, I mean, what’s that about? Do you think they’re only targeting couples?” “We can’t know that for sure, babe, that’s just a guess—but I’m sure the sheriff’s office will figure it out.”

“They didn’t even think Hannah and Franz were killed, they thought it was an accident. Did you hear? What Jean said—that their bodies were so mangled up they couldn’t even identify-” you didn’t finish your sentence as a loud noise behind you made you release a scream, jumping within Eren’s grip and heart racing.

You turn quickly to see none other than Jean himself behind you, a grin on his face that usually could make you smile, but now it only made you feel sick. “Hey, man, knock it off,” Eren says, looking serious. But you knew both of them. They were best friends, and were never truly stern with each other. Everything was a joke.

“What, ‘Ren, I’m just trying to lighten the mood a little. Your poor girlfriend thinks the killers out for couples, sort of like an anti-Cupid, right-”

Normally you could handle the banter and jokes, but something about today had you feeling incredibly different.

It’s not a joke, you want to say, people are dead. But you keep it inside.

“Eren, I have class,” you finally say, grabbing your bag and releasing yourself from his arms.

Eren doesn’t let go of your hand, though, still holding it firmly and getting up with you.

“Hey,” he says, wrapping his arms around your waist and leaning into a kiss. His lips on yours make your knees feel weak, makes you kiss him back as though the two of you were alone in your room, rather than on the quad in front of everyone. In front of Jean, the thought of which makes you finally pull away.

“I love you, okay? We’ll be fine, baby, I promise.”

You’re not sure whether or not you believe him.

…

Your day ends the same way as usual, waiting in the library for Sasha and Hitch to be done with classes so you can drive back home together. Before all of this, the library used to be packed until midnight or later, and now it was thinning out with every passing hour that led closer to sunset.

Annie had a slightly longer day than all of you, and despite your frequent offers to wait for her so everyone gets back safe and sound at the same time, she kept insisting she would be fine.

You could understand why, though, since Armin always dropped her off and seemingly didn’t leave her side until she was inside the front door. At first you and the others had teased her about it, but now you understood it more and more.

You couldn’t help but wonder if Eren would do the same for you—not leave your side, make sure you felt safe. Your first instinct was to think that yes, of course he would, with the way he was so considerate to you during this whole mess—but it was followed by thoughts of Eren making jokes with Jean and Connie about mangled guts and bloody knives when you weren’t there. The thought made you feel sick all over again, made you wonder what else he said when you weren’t around, what else he does—

“You okay?” a deep voice comes from next to you. It makes you jolt back to reality, eyes snapping back to the sight in front of you and thoughts of Eren and Armin slipping away.

A part of you is scared—even though you’re in a public place with dozens of students all around you. You had seen Connie and Marco at a table in the corner, Marco making flashcards for his nursing class while Connie was scrolling on his phone and occasionally stealing a flashcard to write something stupid on.

You turn slowly though, heart racing, before a sigh of relief leaves your lungs as Reiner comes into your view.

It’s just Reiner, you think, almost rolling your eyes at your own stupidity.

No one was here to kill you. It was just Reiner.

“I-I’m fine, Reiner, thanks. Just on edge, I guess.” You hadn’t realized how shaky your breath must have sounded until you see him pull the chair next to you and take a seat.

“No, no, I get that. Honestly,” he says, setting down his backpack and eyes settling on yours, “I think everyone is. It’s terrible.”

“I know,” you breathe, and it seems like all your emotions are rushing out at once. “And the fact that they were all students, or at least previous students, I mean, it’s like someone’s targeting us, and some people aren’t even taking it seriously-” Your eyes inadvertently turn towards Connie, who’s looking your way too, typing something on this phone and taking another flashcard as Marco protests. “I just don’t know what to do. I hate talking about it but it’s the only thing I think about.”

“Me too,” Reiner says, his eyes sincere and warm, and for a brief second you let yourself think about how he would definitely walk you home and fight off the bad guys. “I think everyone just needs some time. They’re gonna have that vigil, y’know for Pieck and Pock tomorrow night. Maybe if we all go, it might be nice, like comforting. What do you think?”

You smile back brightly at him, suddenly feeling a little better and a lot more reassured than you had been. You had forgotten how easy it was to talk to Reiner.

“I’ll definitely be there, and I’ll tell Sasha and Annie and everyone too. Thanks, Reiner,” you say, before your phone buzzes, and a text from Sasha lights up your screen. “They’re done with class, so I’m gonna head out now but I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

“Yeah, see you tomorrow,” Reiner says.

You leave the library feeling better than you had in a while, part of you looking forward to the vigil instead of dreading it, as you had felt about everything else so far. It felt stupid to want to go, but maybe Reiner was right, maybe this was exactly what you needed. Comfort and support, in the form of hundreds of caring students, all there to serve as a shoulder to cry on. Maybe even talking to Reiner a little bit more would help.

You meet Sasha by the doors minutes later, Hitch nowhere in sight.

“What happened to-” you start, before Sasha interrupts with the answer.

“She said Marlo would drive her home after dinner, and she wouldn’t take no for an answer, so, it’s just me and you today.”

“That’s so stupid of her, though, doesn’t she realize?” you start, dread already seeping back into your skin at what could happen in those few hours. “Hey,” Sasha says, concern apparent in her eyes and words. “She’s just getting dinner, okay? She’ll be back before it’s even late-” “But-”

“-And she’s with someone else. That’s the important part.” “I-I know. I’m just scared,” you say, and it’s more of a whimper than anything else.

“I know you are. I am too, but this is just Hitch and Marlo, okay, and I think they’re going to his apartment so there’s at least his roommates too.”

“You’re right,” you finally breathe out, shaking your head a little as if it would release the paranoia. “You’re right, it’s just dinner.”

As you walk to the car, you still feel the same edge you had felt all day. It had started as a small feeling in the back of your brain, telling you to be careful, but it had progressed into something else entirely.

Now you felt like your mind was screaming at you, telling you to watch out for some monster hidden behind a bush or in the backseat of your car.

“Hey!” Sasha repeats, finally snapping you out of your trance. “What’s gotten into you today?”

You were sitting in the passenger seat already, your school bag tucked next to your legs and seatbelt fastened, though you couldn’t even remember opening the car door.

“I-I’m sorry, I-” you stop yourself from continuing.

You want to tell her. You want to bring up the feeling, the dull throb in your head that’s a result of how fast your brain has been thinking recently. How all these couples are dead, how no one should be making jokes about it, how Hitch and Annie shouldn’t stay out unnecessarily instead of just coming home on time.

But you don’t say any of it. Instead, you take a deep breath.

“I was talking to Reiner, while I was waiting for you, and he was telling me about the vigil tomorrow, for Pieck and Porco. It just-it made me feel so on edge, for some reason. I-I don’t know why. I just want things to go back to normal but it feels like it never will.”

Sasha looks at you with a mixture of things—it’s concern and confusion and sadness all mixed together.

“I think I know how you feel, but we just have to keep going. What else can we do?” You feel yourself nodding, but it’s just so she’ll start driving and end the conversation.

Sasha puts the car in drive and takes off, while you stare out the window. The sun is going to set, maybe in an hour or so, but you’re already wishing for tomorrow to start.

When you get home, you do your usual routine, not caring if anyone else thinks you're crazy. You check the windows, the doors, check Hitch’s room even though she’s told you a million times not to go in there, but you’re certain if anyone would leave a window unlocked, it’s her.

You crawl into bed before it’s even dark out, ignoring Sasha when she yells out from the kitchen, asking what you want for dinner and ignoring whatever messages are on your phone.

You’re asleep before your head even hits the pillow.

And you sleep, seemingly forever, until you hear the distinct voices of Hitch and Annie outside of your door, talking to Sasha.

Your first thought, as always, is why they choose to be so noisy right in front of your room, especially when they know you’re sleeping. Your second is why they sound like that, talking in hushed whispers instead of the usual yelling that’s found in your rowdy home.

You pick up parts of the conversation through your sleepy daze, reaching to check your phone but it flashing with the red sign that let you know it was dead.

Great, you think, fumbling around for the lamp string and your glasses, before you hear something that makes you stop entirely.

“We need to tell her now-”

“She’s been freaking out all day, maybe we can wait-”

“We can’t wait!”

You hear the doorknob turn and the door swing open, someone hitting the light switch making you jolt up in bed.

“Guys, what the hell are you doing-” you start, rubbing your eyes and looking at your three roommates in front of you.

“We need to tell you something-” Annie starts.

“But we don’t want you to freak out, because it’s not what it sounds like-” Sasha interjects, settling down next to you on your bed.

“Why would you say that?” Hitch asks, as she gets closer to you and gives Sasha a look. “Listen, honey, it’s about Reiner. Marlo and Armin just called us, and he-he’s dead.”

You blink back at them, your mind struggling to process the words you just heard.

“D-dead?”

“It’s not what you think,” Sasha says, “it wasn’t, like, a stabbing or a murder, or anything, it was a car accident, and he was driven off the road-”

“God, Sasha, stop saying that! We don’t know what it was, it could’ve been the serial killer, just in a car, okay? Cars can be murder weapons too, y’know!” Hitch says as you see Annie roll her eyes in the background before focusing on you.

“Are-are you okay?” she asks, and this time, you don’t have an answer. “I think I’m gonna be sick-” you manage to get out, before running towards the bathroom and throwing up. You heave the small contents of your stomach out, before sitting on the bathroom floor in a state of mixed emotions. Shock, sadness, anger. They all flow through you while the cool surface of the tiles press against your body.

Two words kept floating through your mind; Reiner and dead. You had just spoken to him, not even five hours ago. He was making plans for tomorrow, and now he was gone. Now it would be his turn to have a vigil, his turn to have a funeral, and this hysteria you had been experiencing for days—though it felt more like months if not years—would never go away.

Sasha knocks on the door to the bathroom gently, you can see her head poke in before Hitch pushes her way through and comes in.

“Hey, honey, we gotta talk about this,” Hitch says softly.

“I know you’re scared, but we all are, so what’s going on? Is-is there something you’re not telling us?” Sasha questions, and even though there’s a million thoughts floating through your head, not a single word comes out of your mouth.

What could you even tell them?

That you were likely the last person who talked to Reiner before he died? That the very idea of his last conversation ever being with you, trying to make you feel better and comfort you, made you want to throw up again? Or maybe they’d like to be enlightened by the fact that you had no one to talk to about all of this, since no one else seemed to be taking it as seriously as you, and your boyfriend was probably off with his best friend, making jokes about the whole thing.

You exhale, slumping against the wall and staring blankly back at them.

“I just saw him at school. It-it wasn’t even a couple hours ago. Why is this happening to us?”

…

The next day passes like a blur. You feel yourself going through the motions and yet there’s nothing you can do to stop it. You contemplate skipping classes altogether, vouching for a day in bed with some stupid, cheesy movies to take your mind off of everything, but the idea is gone as soon as it came when you remember that Pieck and Porco were killed while they were home alone.

You pack up your bag and grab an apple that you’re only able to take two bites from, and get in the car with the girls. At least you weren’t alone, right?

The quad is filled at lunchtime, with every open patch of grass taken up by friends discussing the latest death and theorizing over sips of iced coffee and bites of sandwiches. You walk past at least a half-dozen who are arguing about whether or not Reiner was killed by the serial killer, and another handful who are wondering what the coroner’s report will say. Descriptions of stabs and slashes, of Reiner’s totaled pick-up truck and mutilated body make you sick to your stomach, but there’s nothing to throw up this time.

You take your usual place next to Eren, feeling far away even when his hands find yours and hold on tightly.

You don’t want to be here—but you have to be. There’s nowhere safer, you suppose, than by Eren’s side, because at the very least you know he’ll protect you.

Right? a small voice in the back of your head whispers.

You’re entirely caught up in your own thoughts, meeting Eren’s emerald eyes for just a second before looking back down at the ground, and when you finally pay attention, you just hear the last bits of Connie and Jean’s conversation.

“-I’m just saying, it’s awfully convenient for the star quarterback to get killed in a car accident of all things, right when there’s a serial killer running rampant. It seems like something out of a stupid movie, if you ask me-” Connie says, before being interrupted by Eren.

“Nobody asked you, though,” he says, flashing a smile that makes your stomach turn. The rest of the group laughs, though you’re not sure how. It seemed painful to even attempt a smile.

“Well, I think there’s a clear pattern,” Marlo says, Hitch leaning against him and his arm around her shoulder.

“Do tell, honey,” Hitch replies.

“He’s killing athletes,” Marlo answers, as if the answer is as clear as daylight. “So just get off the teams and you should be fine.”

“But why would someone have a grudge against the athletes?” Connie fires back, “They’re not even the worst of the bunch—I mean Porco was annoying and Reiner was your average dumb jock but—”

“Can we not-” you start, before your voice cracks and tears threaten to spill from your eyes. You take a breath, and squeeze Eren’s hand hard. “Can we not talk about them like that?”

Connie sports a look of regret for a few moments, before continuing.

“Okay, well, I’m just saying if they were targeting athletes, there’s plenty of options. But that doesn’t explain Hannah and Pieck—neither of them played.”

“Alright, Detective Springer,” Sasha says, eyes glancing towards you. “That’s enough investigating from you.”

“I just think,” Jean begins, and your gaze goes towards him right away. It wasn’t news to anyone that Jean didn’t care for Reiner. “that maybe you’re all overthinking this. It could have just been a car crash.”

“Isn’t that kind of a huge coincidence?” Annie retorts.

“Stranger things have happened. I mean, everyone else was killed with a girlfriend, and he was alone, isn’t that another coincidence?”

“But Reiner didn’t have a girlfriend,” you speak up, and you feel everyone’s eyes move to you. You didn’t even realize how loudly you had said it.

“That’s what you might think, but who knows what he was up to? I mean, he could’ve been drunk for all we know—”

“But Reiner doesn’t drink-” you reply, with even more force behind the words, because the way Jean was looking at you and the tone of his words, you could’ve sworn, sworn, that he was trying to force you into believing him. “He-he didn’t drink,” you mumble quietly.

“Isn’t it time for class, babe?” Eren asks, his hand moving to your arm and bringing your attention towards him. You turn to look at him, nodding, but you could almost see Jean smile from the corner of your eye.

…

You pile into the car, staring out the window while Sasha gets into the back with you. Today, Hitch is in the passenger seat while Annie drives but the pattern changes from day to day.

It had been a long day, but it wasn’t over yet. The vigil was in a few hours, and you had hoped to maybe eat a few bites before then, maybe get some sleep. It all seemed so far away since your mind didn’t think about anything but Reiner.

You look up to see Sasha texting on her phone, probably another check-in text from her boyfriend. He didn’t go to college with you all, and was severely out of the loop. You had accidentally eavesdropped on a conversation between them, hearing the concern and fear in Niccolo’s voice and the way Sasha was trying to comfort him. It had made your chest hurt then, and now.

In front of you, Hitch was reapplying lip gloss in the vanity mirror, before propping the mirror away and turning back to look at you.

“Listen, Marlo’s having a little thing at his place after the vigil, and I think we should all go.”

“I don’t know about that—” you start, before being cut off.

“It’ll be perfectly safe, and it’s just our circle, no one else. Come on, hon, you can’t just sit in the house all day. You’ll go crazy. Don’t you wanna spend some time with Eren?”

And then the craziest thing happened. Your mind searched for an answer to that question, taking nearly a half dozen heartbeats to come to a conclusion that should have been instantaneous.

Of course you wanted to spend time with Eren, you think to yourself. You’re just reserved because you feel safe at home, that’s all.

“Y-yeah, I do, I just hate going to different places and all that—” you try to explain. It doesn’t look like Hitch caught on to your thoughts. “Well, I think it’ll be a good time. We can even sleep over there, he wouldn’t care. Or why don’t you go sleep over Eren’s?” “His brother is usually there,” you reply automatically, filling in the reason why Eren rarely had you over. “And he doesn’t love company, so-”

“Well you can bring Eren home then. Even though I haven’t seen Zeke around in forever, y’know he worked-”

“Yeah, maybe,” you say, ready for the conversation to end. Your eyes trail out the window as you notice Hitch turn away from you, back to Annie, talking about what she might wear.

It all felt so stupid—how could any of them be thinking about going out when you were practically forcing yourself to attend your classes? To not become a recluse and a shut-in until the end of the semester?

The car keeps going, Hitch keeps talking, and you’re finally shaken out of your little trance by the noise of your phone buzzing awake with a text.

It’s from Eren—which usually makes your heartbeat a little faster with excitement. This time, though, you feel the dull thud in your chest, wrapped almost in a shroud of dread.

See you tonight.

#.... i hope someone likes this LOL #i love the concept but had trouble finishing it #the second part goes away from the movie so itll def be interesting #eren yeager #eren jaeger #eren x reader #eren jeager x reader #eren yeager x reader #attack on titan #aot #tw murder #not sure how else to tag this #tw horror

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