#author: Else/Xun
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Fandom (and art) as sites of worthless knowledge
Instead, what if we embrace fandom and art practice as a site of “worthless knowledge” (Jenkins), which is when art and fanfiction stops operating under conditions of “immaterial labour” or as “a service” and becomes something else: let’s call it an “affective knowledge”; a textural knowledge felt and sensed by individuals and communities over knowledge inscribed by institutions of power.
. . . .
Fans have spent decades harbouring shame over their exploits because “[f]ans are seen as devoting too much time to obtaining useless knowledge and place too much importance on ‘devalued cultural material.’ ” Spending excessive amounts of time reading or writing fanfictions about boy-on-boy romance, fans are not at work doing something more productive like contributing to capitalism’s productive regime. Just as when female fans are fantasising about boy-on-boy romance, they are not participating in heterosexuality’s reproductive regime. ( . . . ) As Tonya Anderson points out in her article “Still Kissing the Poster Goodnight”: “dominant cultural politics characterise such female fan behaviour in adulthood as pathological.” In such instances fans are operating in “excess” and at best – in counter-to-knowledge.
From here, art and fandom might be better understood as affective communities that form around a shared feeling, that might not only be defined by our social or biological identities or by knowledge, but by an unproductive pleasure that undermines our productive desires, or to put it simply: by “being in love with their love” (Karukara).
PARRY, OWEN G. (2019) ‘“SHIPPING” (AS) FANDOM AND ART PRACTICE’. FANDOM AS METHODOLOGY. LONDON: GOLDSMITHS PRESS.
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Not many Cdramas caught nor retained my attention in the 2nd half of 2022, but the few I did watch were pure gems. However I didn't think I have enough entrees to fill 30 days with, so I cut the number down and also conjoined some. Without further ado here we go!
My C-Drama Review of the 1st Half of 2022
(Concept loosely based on anniedelavoye' s. I did hers last year but then realised I simply cannot submit only one entry per day NOR wait a whole year to do a review. I do things by bulk 😆. So I broke the reviewing into two halves so I can do this with fresher memory and also more dramas will get the spotlight.)
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1. First Drama I finished in the 1st half of 2022
Love Between Fairy and Devil! Lots of praises have already been sung about this show, I don't have anything new to add.🤭
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2. New Favourite Actor/Actress
Zhai Zilu, Zhou Dawei, Wang Youjun, Chang Long.
All caught my attention this year, all very promising! I hope they have successful years ahead! (And please don't end up being evil people :( 🙏)
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3. Best Performance
Wang Xiao and Yan Bingyan as Zhou baba and mama in Examination for Everyone. These two veteran actors brought this two characters and their dynamic to life SO realistically and endearingly, you could almost touch it. It was like seeing my own parents onscreen. Mad respect.
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4. Favorite Drama OST
This is an odd answer but the first few seconds of the opening theme song of Fei Teng Ren Sheng captivated me. I was like: "Hold on. That's one BEAUTIFUL melody?" And I replayed and replayed that part over and over. The rest is good too but it was really the part before the verse that I felt was quite unique.
I also liked this song from Side Story of Fox Volant.
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5. Most Watched Genre
I think I should remove this question here onwards. I never pick a drama by genre, I have no aversion to almost any. I do have a preference to Period dramas and Slice of Life but they are not really taken to account if everything else about the story doesn't appeal to me. So this question goes nowhere and indicates nothing in my case.
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6. A Drama I Dropped
Light Chaser Rescue. Its first episode was one of the most annoying I have ever seen in my life. The ML cool-hero driving and the FL sassy-heroine force hitching a ride and the entire sequence of the car crash rescue had me 🙄. A show either has to own up the wackiness or should be full on realistic, for me. This was neither here nor there.
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7. Favorite Character of 2022 2nd Half
I don't think there was anyone I fell head-over-heels for this time, but did like Madam Danchuan in New Life Begins a lot. I just love her aura of power, how fiercely protective she's of her women, AND how she will always allow you to have the final choice. She never forces her authority to make decisions for others, no matter how good she might internally think it'd be for you.
I also liked Bai Lu a lot, she's just a minor character but she stood out most to me among the Solar Term girls. She's sassy, and I think if I am to travel into NLB verse I'd like to be Bai Lu. Just like her I don't particularly care for men, I want to mind my own business and just chill with my jiejies lol.
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8. Best Cinematography
I should remove this question too because I feel like I'm not professional enough for this, haha. Sometimes I love the visuals of some dramas only to find out that from technical aspects it actually sucked.
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9. An Older Drama I Watched
Red Sorghum (2014). It's a CRIME that Red Sorghum's drama version has only ep 1 eng subbed, but also, having watched the movie I know how brutal it can get so maybe its a good thing only ep 1 is subbed, and after all ep 1 ends in a kind-of conclusive place so it does feel like a standalone story of its own, and I HIGHLY recommend watching it.
Do yourself a favor and watch this single ep because baby Zhou Xun and baby Huang Xuan are SO CUTE! Like toe-curlingly cute, I was squealing the whole time! 😍😍😍😍😍😍
Also it has some GORGEOUS backdrops!
https://youtu.be/zh55pwzBNag
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10. A Drama that kept Me on Edge
Nothing really. I mean I did eagerly wait everyday for new eps of NLB and Da Kao but that's not the same.
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11. A Drama Location I Want to Visit
I kind of want to visit Hengdian replicas of real locations, then visit the actual thing (such as Forbidden City) and try to compare and contrast lmao. I wonder how similar they are!
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12. A Popular Drama I Didn't Enjoy
Strange Tales of Tang Dynasty. Not due to any particular fault of the drama itself, the production and visuals and aesthetics all were excellent, and all the ingredients were right there. I simply felt it didn't particularly offer anything I haven't already seen. The first ep reminded me strongly of Legend of the Demon Cat, which was a movie I loved a lot and still had a pretty fresh memory of. Sometimes strong acting and unique execution will carry a story that is otherwise pretty tried-and-tired, but unfortunately that was not the case here either.
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13. Best Scriptwriting and Directing
Though I wouldn't say they were the best overall scripts, New Life Begins had the BEST female character writing I've seen in ages, and Da Kao (Exam for Everyone) had the most thorough writing of family dynamics.
Directing-wise, I liked what I saw but nothing that particularly blew my mind.
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14. Best Production
The Long River. Even though I didn't get to properly see it yet, I heard they made an artificial Yellow river simulation for all the flooding scenes and there are LOTS of those scenes in this drama and... whew. It's not often you get a proper serious historical drama and when you do, it's usually difficult for any other drama to beat them production scale wise anyway😆.
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15. A Drama that Made Me Laugh
Mr. Bad. The "character from a story comes to real life and messes with the other lead's life" premise will always be full of potential for unhinged shenanigans, and Mr.Bad doesn't fail. The main leads are so fun and the dynamic never boring, and Chen Zheyuan is SUCH a hoot with his expressions.
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16. A Drama that Made Me Cry
NLB and Da Kao did, but they were more like tears of exhilaration. Instead lemme share this very good crying scene by Wang Yibo and Wang Jinsong in Being a Hero haha.
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17. Most Satisfying Drama
New Life Begins owns my whole heart and soul! You can read my review for ep 1-14 here, and my current opinion of the drama remains the same if not better!
Even though it is a fluffy and ahistorical drama, lots of "proper" period dramas could learn from NLB about how to write your women as intelligent, dimensional individuals and not caricatures fallen victims to irrational jealousy and hatred. Since it's a feel good romcom everything always turn out for the better and that may not always be the case in history, yes. But this approach that these women tried to make a difference still holds valid regardless the genre.
You should learn that Past =×= 100% Oppression, 0% fighting back when it came to women, the same way Modern times doesn't mean 0% Oppression and 100% feminism (laughs in sarcasm). The foundations of how far we have come has been laid since centuries ago, AND there are lots of fronts that we have actually backtracked/regressed in compared to the past as well. Progressiveness is rarely linear.
Ok I digressed. Back to review 🤭.
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18. Most Dissapointing Drama
Hu Tong. Life in Beijing hutong neighbourhood across eras told through 3 women of 3 generations of a family is quite possibly one of of the most interesting premises I've heard, but the first episode dissapointed me thoroughly with its unconvincing, in your face and over the top characters and storyline. Such potential, gone down the drain. If the drama didn't take itself seriously, neither would the audience.
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19. Favorite Wardrobe
Hao Jia's wardrobe in NLB and Dongfang Qingcang's in LBFAD. The fine details and embroidery are 😘🤌. 100% would wear both styles, depending on the day lol.
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20. A Drama That Deserves a Shoutout
Our Times. An omnibus type of drama where you'll be told slice of life stories of people in such interesting and niche jobs that you rarely get to see portrayed realistically in dramas. Such as traditional Chinese theatre dancers, or a sports coach in a rural area with minimal facilities. Also if you get uninterested with one story you can jump few episodes ahead to the next, so that's kind of a plus too, haha.
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21. A Drama that Taught Me New Things
Are You Safe. Taught me lots of valuable tips about cyber safety. Unfortunately that was the only positive thing about this drama and I think it won't be presumptuous to say literally 99% people who watched it will agree with me.
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22. Best Relationship
The care and nuance all the families were written in The Examination for Everyone was through-the-roof excellent. Unnecessarily stereotyped toxic Asian family portrayals out, empathetic and 3D Asian parent-children dynamics in! Gosh, I saw myself, my family, my society, my culture in this drama. Thank you and much love.
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23. A Drama I Wanted to Watch but Couldn't
The Long River. No subs 😭
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24. An Upcoming Drama that I'm Excited for
JoL 2 and Under the Microscope! 🤩 (Please come 😭)
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More posts by me
#Are You Safe#cdrama#你安全吗#Fei Teng Ren Sheng#沸腾人生#Hu Tong#胡同#Light Chaser Rescue#Mr. Bad#我的反派男友#Our Times#我们这十年#Side Story of Fox Volant#飞狐外传#Strange Tales of Tang Dynasty#唐朝诡事录#Love Between Fairy and Devil#苍兰诀#The Examination for Everyone#大考#Red Sorghum#红高粱#New Life Begins#卿卿日常#The Neuron Doctors#促醒者#Chinese drama#drama review#The Long River#天下长河
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Slogans, jokes, objects and colors can stand in for complex sentiments. In Hong Kong, protesters carried yellow umbrellas—also useful to defend against pepper spray—as symbols of their demand for democracy. In Thailand, protesters borrowed a gesture from The Hunger Games series, saluting with three fingers aloft in the aftermath of a military coup. Elsewhere, rainbow flags and the name “Solidarity” have signified the successful fights waged by proponents of LGBTQ and Polish labor rights, respectively.
In some authoritarian nations, dissidents craft jokes and images to build a following and weaken support for the regime. In the Cold War-era Soviet Union, access to typewriters and photocopiers was tightly controlled. But protesters could share news and rile officials with underground samizdat literature (Russian for “self-publishing”), which was hand-typed and passed around from person to person. These publications also used anekdoty, or quips of wry lament, to joke about post-Stalinist Soviet society. In one example, a man hands out blank leaflets on a pedestrian street. When someone returns to question their meaning, the man says, “What’s there to write? It’s all perfectly clear anyway.”
In the early 20th century, generations of Chinese writers and philosophers led quiet philosophical and cultural revolutions within their country. Zhou Shuren, better known by the pen name Lu Xun, pushed citizens to cast off repressive traditions and join the modern world, writing, “I have always felt hemmed in on all sides by the Great Wall; that wall of ancient bricks which is constantly being reinforced. The old and the new conspire to confine us all. When will we stop adding new bricks to the wall?”
In time, Chinese citizens mastered the art of distributed displeasure against mass censorship and government control. That was certainly the case during the movements that bloomed after Mao Zedong’s death in 1976. At the 1989 protests in Beijing’s Tiananmen Square, participants used strips of red cloth as blindfolds. Before the tanks turned the weekslong gathering into a tragedy on June 4, musician Cui Jian played the anthem “A Piece of Red Cloth,” claiming a patriotic symbol of communist rule as a banner of hope for a frustrated generation.
After hundreds, if not thousands, were gunned down by the military, China banned any reference to the events at Tiananmen Square. But Chinese people became adept at filling that void, using proxies and surrogates to refer to the tragedy. Though Chinese censors scrub terms related to the date, such as “six four,” emoji can sometimes circumvent these measures. According to Meng Wu, a specialist in modern Chinese literature at the University of British Columbia, a simple candle emoji posted on the anniversary tells readers that the author is observing the tragedy, even if they can’t do so explicitly. In recent years, the government has removed access to the candle emoji before the anniversary.
As a survivor of the Tiananmen Square massacre spoke to the crowd gathered at Washington Square Park, the undergraduate who called himself Rick expressed concern for a friend who had been taken into custody by police in his home province of Guangdong. Given the government crackdown, Rick suggested that public protests were largely finished for now. Still, he predicted, the movement will “become something else”—something yet to be written.
— The History Behind China's White Paper Protests
#suzanne sataline#the history beyond china's white paper protests#history#current events#totalitarianism#oppression#politics#chinese politics#censorship#journalism#free speech#protests#silent protests#zero covid protests#2019-2020 hong kong protests#2020-2021 thai protests#cold war#1976 tiananmen incident#1989 tiananmen square protests and massacre#china#hong kong#thailand#ussr#lu xun#samizdat
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Had Xun You gotten his wish to serve as Shu commandery’s Administrator. Would he have eventually served Liu Bei after Liu Zhang lost the province to him?
So, this comes after Dong Zhuo's death (which Xun You didn't have a part in because he was already in jail for separately planning Dong Zhuo's murder) and before Cao Cao obtained the court in 196.
From SGZ 10.2
He resigned his office and returned home, but was again enlisted by the government, recommended to high rank, and appointed Chancellor of Rènchéng, but did not go to that post. Yōu, because the lands of Shǔ Hàn were rugged and defensive and the people prosperous, requested to be Administrator of Shǔ-jùn, but the roads were cut off, so he stopped at Jīngzhōu.
So, the passage makes it clear that he didn't take up the post because he couldn't get there. Keep in mind that this assignment would have come from Li Jue's court (implied by the text and timing), so that's whose authority he would have had backing him. It's hard to see a circumstance where Yi's self-styled and independent governors permitted the junta in Chang'an or anywhere else to choose the head of its most important canton.
Setting all that aside, though, had Xun You been there when Liu Bei took over, I see no reason why he would not be adsorbed into Liu Bei's army sooner or later like everyone else.
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17 questions!! tagged by @jelliedoodles, thank you ♡
nickname: ellis 🦦
sign: aries 🐑
height: 163 cm! so, like. 5'4?
last thing googled: the great british sewing bee season 7 contestants 💀
song stuck in my head: help let me go by danny gonzalez
number of followers: every day growing thanks to a huge influx of sexy naked ladies <3
amount of sleep: around 8 hours every night 🌃
lucky number: 16! 4 too
dream job: none. but if i had to choose then a full time artist or a cook 🍲
wearing: "i'm the boss" nct t-shirt and yoga pants
movies/book that summarize me: little green monster by haruki murakami. no movies come to my mind 🤔
favorite song: who i am by nive, oh death by sugr or lights out by exo i am VERY undecisive
favorite instrument: guzheng
my aesthetic: comfy <3 (which includes a lot of anime and band t-shirts)
favorite author: hm. well. lu xun?? and terry pratchett
favorite animal noise: cat startup sound. you know, that "mmmrrrpt?". yeah, that.
random: i kind of am a published author? my story and a few of my art works were included in a short story and poetry collection!
not tagging anyone because!! it seems like everyone i'd tag already done this/is tagged by someone else. but if you see this and wish to do it i am tagging you telepathically 🫵
#not jjk#ellis talks#tag game#this was harder than i thought#ajsnnfjs#hope you learned something fun about me 😌
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RAAAAAAH BSD OCS!!!!
Dan Kazuo:
his namesake is irl dazai's best (?) friend, Dan Kazuo. There's like, probably a bunch of different versions of him already but... yk. he's different...
he's a fairly playful and spontaneous guy, willing to be Dazai's favourite ride-or-die bestie in the face of adversaries.
he'll rather follow after someone else's plans instead of think up his own despite his high iq of 205 because he finds that letting himself do what he wants is boring because it'll just go according to his plans, so he just derails other people's plans instead.
he goes through life just to have fun and kill boredom. he joined the port mafia bc he found dazai interesting after he killed all of dazai's subordinates in a feat of horrendous crime (he found out he had an ability in this fight)
he also has a weird obsession to the point of insanity towards dazai, and it makes people wonder if he has a crush on Dazai or if it's just... him. (it's both)
and when dazai left, he also up and left because if dazai isn't there, it isn't fun
and so he became a government dog. he joined the government's special divisions unit to pass on insider information to dazai and to mess up plans that endanger dazai. anywho, he's also a raging alcoholic, a great cook, and lives life just to make sure dazai stays alive because a dead dazai equals a boring life.
his ability is named after irl dan kazuo's most famous novel, Hanagatami (or Flower Basket). Dan's ability allows him to create sharp projectiles in the shape of flower petals (usually camellia petals, for they signify death) with any nearby sources of any fluid. he usually uses his own blood, however, since it is easier, and so he carries various weapons around that can puncture him to gain access to his own blood. he is also able to use the petals to grab ahold of things, as he can adjust the sharpness of the petals.
his ability has an added effect of stunning blood clotting effectiveness, thus creating more bloodloss for the target. the blood lost turns into more sharp flower petals that cut into the target and causes EVEN more blood loss, thus turning the victims into literal flower baskets of death. Dan is able to control the speed of the bloodloss as well as the sharpness of the petals, like his own petals, and decide if the effect will even happen in the first place.
only Dazai, with his nullification ability, and Dan are able to stop the side effect of Hanagatami.
also he doesn't like Chuuya, but begrudgingly respects him. absolutely despises Mori, though. oddly enough, has an amicable relationship with Fyodor despite their differences.
Probably has major BPD or Obsessive Love Disorder.
Lu Xun:
based off of a real life chinese novelist/essayist named Lu Xun.
Lu Xun is an insane (obviously) & schizophrenic chinese ability user who's running from chinese authorities, as he's a wanted criminal (terrorist AND mass murderer, chinese Fyodor/hj). he has a weird relationship with Nikolai, because they both have the same mentality, except Nikolai tends to find fun in lifw and hide his feelings, but Lu Xun is more flat and gloomy, hiding none of his emotions.
his ability is named Thoughts Before The Mirror, and unironically, it allows him to move himself or items through any mirror-like substance, like water, metal or an actual mirror, as long as there is a clear reflection on its surface.
it also a causation for his schizophrenia, for he feels he is not himself and rather a mirror world version of himself that took his place.
he doesn't like staring into mirrors, not because he's insecure, but because he cannot recognise himself anymore. he thinks he's a completely different person who's replaced the "real" him, and thus he is regularly exploited through his instability and mental health issues, which is kind of ironic considering his ability requires mirrors.
most of his colleagues in crime in his group named "Dawn Blossoms at Dusk" (refering to irl Lu Xun's book, Dawn Blossoms Plucked at Dusk) are female, for Lu Xun is an avid advocator for female rights and prefers the company of women that'd be able to protect him over fickle men that have no use causing him even more harm.
Has schizophrenia, autism, paranoia & anxiety.
#ace's doodles#bungou stray dogs#bsd#bsd ocs#dan kazuo#lu xun#i'll make separate posts for them individually#just so i can go more in depth yk#but yeah!!! my silly ocs 🫶🫶
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Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Chapters: 1/?
Words: 4525
Fandom: 极限挑战 | Go Fighting! (TV)
Relationships: Huang Jingyu/Jia Nailiang
Characters: Huang Jingyu, Jia Nailiang, Guo Jingfei, Wang Xun, Background & Cameo Characters
Additional Tags: Flirting, Eventual Romance, Getting Together, Light Angst, Fluff and Humor, Friendship, Developing Relationship, Kissing, Drinking, Drunken Kissing, Personal Growth, Rivals to Lovers, Canon Compliant, (lmao), The Author Regrets Nothing, Tags May Change, Rating May Change
Summary: Huang Jingyu names a toy snail "Liangliang" to play a trick on his rival and somehow this counts as peak romance. It's a type of wooing that wouldn't work on anyone else.
#yes i wrote 4500 words of variety show rpf fic instead of literally anything else i could be writing don't @ me#or do#idk#my writing#my fic#rpf#go fighting#team jiayu#huang jingyu/jia nailiang
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Hello! I just finished read Yuwu, and I read 2ha a few months back, and I absolutely love them so much!! I was wondering if you could help me with making some connections between the two? I had some “deja vu” moments while reading Yuwu , and felt like the author made some connections in the story to 2ha in some minor ways , however, I couldn’t point them out as I had read 2ha months before picking up Yuwu, and was wondering if you had noticed them or could clarify what these connection are?
Hello! Congrats on finishing with both novels!
Yes, both of these novels are set in the same universe, and Meatbun said that all the names were not coincidences. Here are some connections between Yuwu and 2Ha, with Yuwu set at least 500-ish years-probably 1000 years or so before 2Ha. Note that these are extreme spoilers for both books.
- Mo Ran's name is actually not Mo, but Mo is the last name he took from the brothel owner and her son. This is the same Mo as Mo Xi, thus hinting that Mo Xi's line survived up until 2Ha... and then died out when Mo Ran burned that brothel down. Mo Ran and Mo Xi are not related, BUT--
- Mo Ran is a Nangong, which we find out in the Yuwu epilogue is the name of one of the new disciples of the academy that Murong Lian, Gu Mang, and Mo Xi established. This makes Mo Ran Mo Xi's great-great-great (x100) disciple! Also, the boat girl from Yuwu is Mo Ran’s ancestor too.
- That same academy later became Rufeng Sect, founded by the Nangongs on the same principles as the academy was foundedd.
- Jiang Fuli eventually founded Guyue'ye, which is located on that same "island" where the sacred haitang tree grew. That island is Linlingyu, or the Rainbell Isle, the seat of Guyue'ye in the future. It's also a sacred turtle (Xuanwu). We see that Chen Tang had a blood oath with this turtle, and as we know, Chen Tang eventually "became" Jiang Fuli. Thus, Chen Tang is a direct ancestor of Jiang Xi and Xue Meng, and that blood oath was likely maintained through the ages to allow Guyue'ye to remain on the Xuanwu's back.
- That sacred haitang tree on the Xuanwu island was then entrusted with all of Murong Chuyi's engineering plans, and that... yes, that tree eventually is carved into Chu Wanning, who inherited Murong Chuyi's technologically advanced skills (and also... his difficult personality).
- Murong Chuyi is related to Chu Wanning in another way: The second Chu son from the Chu family (if you will remember, one of the Chu sisters gave birth to Gu Mang, the other gave birth to Murong Chuyi), is the ancestor of Chu Xun, or the Lin'an gongzi whose son became the model for Chu Wanning.
- The use of Butterfly Boned Beauty Feasts for cultivation purposes was popularized by Hua Po'an of Yuwu.
- The Water-Parting Technique mentioned in Yuwu from that "mysterious swordsman" showed up again in 2Ha as a coveted technique that the sects fought over.
- The demonic energy that invaded Jiang Yexue and later transferred to Murong Chuyi bears startling similarities to the circumstances around Jiang Xi’s injury in the final battle of 2Ha. It is possible that the effects are the same as well.
- The river to the underworld in Yuwu is likely the same river that runs around Sisheng Peak, said to be where the barrier between the worlds is thin. This implies ancient Chonghua is located around Sisheng Peak territory in Shuzong.
- The Tianyin Pavilion truth potion was also used in Yuwu.
- The same recipe book was mentioned in both books (Recipes of Bashu, Mo Xi used it to fail at cooking shrimp, and Chu Wanning used it as one of his wonton preparation resources).
- The Feathered Tribe of Peach Blossom Spring in 2Ha featured in Yuwu and interacted rather extensively with Gu Mang and Mo Xi during one of their quests. At that time, their numbers were few, and their status was low. They rose to prominence as one of the most divine-aligned sects between Yuwu and 2Ha. Sadly, this tribe was exterminated in 2Ha book 1.
- Murong Mengze mentioned a “legendary” man in Lin’an that could help return Gu Mang’s memories; this “legend” was the one to pass on the rebirth technique to Huaizui of 2Ha, implying that he lived for hundreds if not a thousand years!
There are probably more relations between the two, but those are what came to mind for now. If there's anything else, I'll add to the list.
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[cfc ch27] (this posted will be divided into two parts: the first discussing the chapter, the second discussing meatbun’s author’s note)
First, so we finally know that xqc’s parents died in a car accident, an accident that everyone on force knew wasnt natural but the perpetrators left no evidence behind + xqc’s parents solved too many cases and so have many enemies, so figuring out the culprit is almost impossible (I am still convinced the culprit is “that organization” then again, nothing is ever this straightforward with meatbun)
Next, we had a new dead character introduced, Dr Qin Ciyan which I suspect is going to be the Chu Xun of this novel. It’s the same pattern of extremely good and charitable person dying an unjust death after sacrificing so much to save the people only to later on be slandered with his family cruelly picked on by society. Either he really was a martyr, or he was actually a bad person and we will find that out in the future. + I’m also suspecting that his death is related to “them” even if it feels like a closed and simple case. I mean the culprit was a mentally ill patient, so maybe someone else with the blood toxin ability controlled the culprit into doing it? Just a theory but hmmm
Another theory would be what if xqc was one of the doctors who continued the operation of the old woman after Qin Ciyan got too tired, the operation that later failed with the woman dying? Maybe that was why xqc retired?
Now the author’s note :
Meatbun is totally right, it’s definitely TOO early for he yu and xqc to be affected by the kiss. They’re still too indifferent towards each other. While I am sure that he yu subconsciously harbors some sort of feelings for xqc, xqc is definitely still too indifferent towards he yu to feel anything but disgust at being kissed by a boy 13 years younger than him. Meatbun also said that while he yu’s feelings for Xie Xue are genuine, it’s not the wholehearted pure love. It’s more of a little crush to spite xqc. And I also can see that, since it feels like a lot of his feelings for Xie Xue are influenced and related to her brother in one way or another. Does he like her? I mean yeah she’s his first friend but he’s definitely not “in love” the way he convinced himself that he is.
Finally, Meatbun has every right to write her story the way she wants to. If she wants to refrain from writing fast paced sweet romances, then so be it. Meatbun’s style has always been slowburn steady paced stories and that’s valid! She’s happy to do what she’s doing, she caters to no one’s tastes except for herself, and I look up to her a lot in that aspect. She’s not writing according to what the readers want, but according to what she wants to write in order to be happy with herself and I love her for that!
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Fan Archiving, Part 1
Achille Mbembe states that archives confer status on their contents, and on the culture and society that produced those contents: “The archive ... is fundamentally a matter of discrimination and of selection, which, in the end, results in the granting of a privileged status to certain written documents, and the refusal of that same status to others, thereby judged ‘unarchivable.’ The archive is, therefore, not a piece of data, but a status” (2002, 20). The status that the archive awards is, first of all, according to Mbembe, the foundational status of existence, of a person or a culture having existed: “The archive becomes ... something that does away with doubt, exerting a debilitating power over such doubt. It then acquires the status of proof. It is proof that a life truly existed, that something actually happened. ... The final destination of the archive is therefore always situated ... in the story that it makes possible” (20–21). Fans, fan fiction, and fan communities have historically been granted incredibly low status in cultural hierarchies (Jenkins 1992, 9–23; Coppa 2006b, 230–233), and online archives of fan works will not likely alter that ranking. But Mbembe illuminates the power of digital communities’ self-made archives to award those communities with the minimal status of having truly existed, of their individual and collective cultures having actually happened, and therefore of making possible their insertion into history. In the absence of archives of their work, female and queer uses/users of the Internet would risk disappearance and erasure; their cultures would remain unknown and unknowable to subsequent generations, as the existence of so many women’s and queer people’s cultural expressions in earlier eras have been excluded from the historical record.
Fans who found and operate their communities’ digital archives do not guarantee that they or their works will be remembered, but they create the conditions of possibility for persistence and recollection. Perhaps the last quarter-century of digital fan archiving will matter to no one a quarter-century from now; but perhaps digital fan productions made between 1990 and 2015, and many genres of user-generated Internet content from the same time period, will be widely regarded as critically important forms of early digital networked culture, just as silent films hold a venerable place in cinema history and amateur ham radio operators are understood to be the direct ancestors of the broadcasting industries. Maybe successive generations of girls and women and LGBTQ people will benefit from the first twenty-five years of fan archiving; maybe future historians will value the ability to access evidence of what it was to be female and queer online in the first wave of mass Internet use. Fan archivists cultivate this chance, this may-be.
DE KOSNIK, A. (2016) ROGUE ARCHIVES: DIGITAL CULTURAL MEMORY AND MEDIA FANDOM. CAMBRIDGE, MASSACHUSETTS: THE MIT PRESS.
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MDZS; what’s in a name?
One of my favorite things about the Chinese language is how much meaning can be in a name. Broadly speaking, Chinese names are usually two or three characters, the first being the family name (e.g. Wei, Lan) and the latter being the given names (e.g. Ying, Zhan). Of course, back in the day, people also had courtesy names (e.g. Wu Xian, Wang Ji).
Even though it may only be one or two characters, the characters are often chosen for their symbolism. Authors often choose names to convey some key character trait or deeper fate of their character through their name. I wanted to write a little more about the actual meaning of their names. Not only what the characters themselves mean, but also how it ties into their character’s hopes and dreams.
Caution: These meanings are not OFFICIALLY translated, authors very rarely provide explicit explanations for how/why they name their characters the way they did, but it can often be deduced by the reader based on what happens in the story + knowledge of Chinese. So, these are only my thoughts and feel free to disagree. Also these are based on the novel. ALSO SPOILERS.
Wei Ying 羡婴: The character used for Ying ( 婴 ) here typically refers to an infant. This represents his parents’ hopes that he maintains a childlike outlook – to not be bogged down by the worries of the world, and live carefree without becoming too calculating or hard-hearted.
Wei Wu Xian 魏无羡: Wu Xian ( 无羡 ) comes up in certain poems and typically represents ‘to harbor no envy’. WWX’s given name represents his nature to always maintain his true self, to walk his own path and to not be envious of others despite all the difficulties he encounters.
Lan Zhan 蓝湛: The character used for Zhan ( 湛 ) is often used to describe something untainted, pure, crystal and at the same time, deep…yeah I know – sounds like the Er Ge Ge we all love and know.
Lan Wang Ji 蓝忘机: The second word, Ji ( 机 ), is actually part of the word ‘机心’, which means to harbor deception and trickery. And Wang means to forget. Wang Ji actually stems from a Taoist saying that means to abstain from ulterior motives and keep your heart free of too many devious thoughts, to remain ‘pure’ from this world’s machinations.
Lan Si Zhui 蓝思追: This was the only name (IIRC) that was explained by MXTX in the original text, and it was given by LWJ. It means, “思君不可追，念君何时回”. In phonetics: Si Jun Bu Ke Zhui, Nian Jun He Shi Hui
The first part of the phrase literally means “Thinking of a lover I can’t pursue” (bc he’s dead and also because LWJ is under house arrest) and the second part of the phrase means, “Awaiting someday when he might return”. LITERALLY GOOSEBUMPS SOMEONE HELP THIS MAN
Lan Huan 蓝涣: Huan ( 涣 ) means to disappear, to separate – likely a hint as to his fate of eventual self-isolation and also the departure of his two closest sworn brothers.
Lan Xi Chen 蓝曦臣: 晨曦(Chen Xi) means dawn, light. It’s a different character for Chen used in his name but the phonetic sound is the same. Instead, his name is flipped to Xi Chen, and the character used for Chen here is more or less used in several different ways to all essentially refer to a subject (a court minister, a vassal, a lord – idk can someone else come up with a better translation for this) so in a way, he serves the light/he brings hope.
Jin Guang Yao 金光瑶: GY was born Meng Yao and presumably given his name as JGY while under his father, JGS. Jin Guang is a derivative of his father’s name, it’s common to share the first character of your given name with another family member.
However, this goes against the naming convention of heirs born in his same generation. All his half-sibs follow the naming convention of ‘Jin Zi ___’ (e.g. Jin Zi Xuan, Jin Zi Xun) because his father never considered him as a real son or wanted to recognize him as a son in any way. Naming him in this way makes him (and his associated background as the child of a ho and an outsider) stand out starkly whenever he introduces himself to others. People will know exactly who he is and what his place in the family is. It’s really not a very nice thing to do to your son. :( As for Yao as a character, it essentially means beautiful, precious – he retained the given birth name from his mother so it’s not surprising she would name him this based on all the hopes she had for him.
Anyway, happy to dig more into other characters or do a Part 2 if there’s any interest, but that’s what I have for now!
#mdzs#魔道祖师#lwj#wwx#jin guangyao#grandmaster of demonic cultivation#Mo Dao Zu Shi#lan wangji#wei wuxian#the untamed#meta#names
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Ravages of Time - Volume 22
to lengthen the session I plan to feature 8 pics per chapter, for a grand total of 64 pics, with discussions along the way
we begin with a recap of the premise for the events to come
Liu Bei accepts an imperial edict (which Cao Cao arranged to have the emperor promulgate) to attack Yuan Shu, who in turn seeks to collaborate with Lu Bu to take Liu Bei out of the picture (since as a Han loyalist he would be a nuisance to Yuan Shu's Zhongjia regime)
of course at this point Yuan Shu has been weakened somewhat due to Sun Ce's scheme as well as Liu Ye's betrayal, and thus he cannot afford to have Liu Bei ruin things further
175 also brings up one of the recurring topics in Ravages, namely the unreliability of historical accounts (particularly the 'official records')
to be clear, it's not as if Ravages is saying that since the records are biased we shouldn't learn from the records we receive and uncover (or worse, using the premise of unreliable records as an excuse to justify supporting one's favorite 'vilified' factions in the past)
rather, because the records are biased we have to learn carefully (and acknowledge that records are not just representations but they are also tools)
the paradoxical position of Ravages after all is that it uses its sources to criticize them (and without the sources and the stories of scheming, what would there be to criticize about)
its just like what Pang Tong was saying about cults. they may be false, but you can guide people with them
back to Zhang Fei, his response isn't just an instance of disparaging official historians (with the emphasis on 'official', since the dynasties of the central plains actually hire such positions to come up with sanctioned narratives about the past) but there's also a self-reflective aspect to it
how would one act not only with the thought of how one will be remembered, but also anticipating that one's actions will be misunderstood and misinterpreted as part of schemes to come
it's almost as if he's daring future generations to look at him how they (or we) would, so long as he gets his job done
and we're also reminded that Chen Deng's privileged position in Xuzhou is partly due to how he bankrolls the security and military apparatuses in the province (that's why he outright flaunts about not having to pay the usual taxes, since he pays in other ways)
an instance of corruption to be sure, but he's still playing his part in the province (while seeking to benefit from the dysfunctional arrangement at the same time)
on a side note, Ravages doesn't really do well in showcasing the official functions of the various positions in the Han government (but then again, with Han undergoing a slow collapse, this hardly matters)
Ravages can't even be bothered to display an imperial court scene with the proper protocol
and it seems Liaoyuan Huo hanging around with Chen Deng had another purpose (after all, if he was trying to search for Xiao Meng's whereabouts, why would he suddenly wind up in Liu Bei's turf)
now back to the scheming, we see the 16 moves begin to take form with plans and revelations such as this
to recap, the premise is that Lu Bu and Yuan Shu are colluding to drive Liu Bei out of Xuzhou (while Cao Cao arranges for the mess in Xuzhou behind the scenes so that he can proceed with his own move elsewhere)... but since Zhang Fei is aware of that (or rather, suspects that something like that is going on), he's making plans of his own, and here it involves luring Lu Bu into making a premature attack (this is where the deliberate rumors about Zhang Fei's drunken recklessness come in)
we also see plans being made on the part of Yuan Shu's forces
basically, given that there's an imperial edict to attack Yuan Shu, the plan is to lure Liu Bei into expending resources and troops in a protracted campaign, while Lu Bu takes advantage of the situation and seizes control of Xuzhou, forcing Liu Bei to withdraw to some backwater area... and even then, the Zhongjia troops are not content to simply play the role of a decoy and have Lu Bu take all the glory, so they too prepare a trap for Liu Bei on their front (though we don't really see much of this unfold on-panel, since the focus is more on dealing with Lu Bu)
Ji Ling and Zhang Liao also speculate that Cao Cao's imperial edict plan isn't simply to undermine Yuan Shu, but it's also meant to keep Liu Bei down while he's still weak
the chapter is also a reminder that Ravages stresses the importance of meticulous preparations for campaigns of mass conflict
I daresay Ravages is willing to cut battle scenes short in favor of preparation scenes (and yes, this includes preparations for future struggles even in the midst of battle)
before ending, the chapter also features Zhuge Liang and Pang Tong watching on the sidelines (and I find it a bit puzzling why Zhuge Liang is wearing his hat here again only to lose it again off-panel come 180)
we get hints (based on Pang Tong's insinuations) that Zhuge Liang doesn't like Zhou Yu that much (probably due to ideological disagreements rather than personal grudges)
and there's also an indirect allusion to the in-joke about how Sima Yi and Zhou Yu are similar in Ravages
I suppose the disagreement is that Zhou Yu doesn't seem to prioritize Han at all (it's one thing to serve Sun Ce with the intent of keeping him in check, like what Xun Yu plans to do with Cao Cao, and it's another thing to just empower another hegemon from another clan at the expense of Han)
though from 159 we see that Zhuge Liang isn't just a Han loyalist for the sake of elevating the imperial clan (Xun Yu's brand of loyalism is more committed to the actual institutions of Han)
rather, he sees the ideal of loyalty as a way to diminish bloodshed
to put it in another way, a typical model Han loyalist would be a social-conservative who wishes to preserve what has been inherited, with changes admitted on a gradual basis while protecting the authority of current institutions
Zhuge Liang's way seems more to be about using the virtue and ideal of loyalty (which so happens to be directed at Han, though it could really be directed at anyone else) as a way to govern people and keep the peace (thus his suspicion about calls for regime change is not because he thinks Han is always good, but that those who seek change may have other ulterior motives in mind)
thus I've mentioned before that of the 8, Zhuge Liang may be the most ideologically abstract and committed (and thus the events in 180 would agonize him so much)
176 may cover the duels of a particular battle in Liu Bei's campaign against Yuan Shu, but the narrative and textual details here cover more than just the battle
take for instance the floating text for the chapter, we can note that the Ravages 'narrative voices' do more than just recount the story or hype certain characters (since they also take on meditative and reflective tones)
whereas the narrator in, say, something like Kingdom behaves more like a storyteller (or for example, how the narrator in LOGH is akin to a presenter of a documentary), the voices in Ravages are more like commentators performing the processes of introspection that the composer may have done and the readers are expected to do
there's also a meta-fictive element in the chapter, as the floating voices don't just comment on what's going on, but also seem to comment on both the gimmicks of warfare as well as the conventions and tropes of texts about warfare (and since participants of war also make and hear tales of warfare, the conventions also bleed into the subjectivities of those who fight 'real wars' we see this when soldiers, cops, and activists gamify their feats)
this brings us to the dual character of military campaigns involving armed people... on the one hand, there are the considerations of the balance of forces (and how to take advantage of asymmetries to deal decisive blows), and on the other hand, there are the considerations of morale (and how to manage it with gimmicks such as rumors and duels)
this also provides a good excuse for texts (Ravages included) to feature duel scenes, haha
read the comment and think back at how fight scenes in many texts involve the contenders trying to justify themselves (either in monologue form, or while openly arguing)
also note how various factions make use of propaganda to present their side in a better light while vilifying opponents
Ji Ling of course isn't just content to make his point, he invokes the sages to make his case look wiser (just as Guan Yu dismisses arguments for regime change by noting the inscrutability of the heavenly will)
this brings me to another point, that not only can we learn from the insights of various thinkers, we can even weaponize those insights (and many regimes and societies have done just that for instance how the Han appealed to Confucius while refining 'legalist' mechanisms to form a Confucian-Legalist political order)
(on that note it can be said that perhaps in certain instances Ravages twists the citations in ways that scholarly researchers would frown upon, but just as with historical texts the words of the philosophers are also tools in the power struggle)
this tidbit highlights the performative and spectacular aspects of war (and war stories)
we can acknowledge that when described in terms of the processes of mass slaughter, war is at its core a boring and bloody affair... but what provides the spice in the mix are the stories embedded into the event by the agents with their different passions and interests (and to enhance the drama, what else would the architects of the power struggle do but set up a good show)
thus those in command come up with ways to manage morale and hype up the troops, with the help of stunt actors who relish in the performance (because in the first place, they too have internalized the narratives of hype and glory attached to war)
similarly, skilled storytellers manipulate their audiences into getting invested in certain angles
this isn't to say there are no interests and goals and principles at stake and that it's all just for the drama, but at some point things get storified to motivate masses of people into following through
incidentally, the chapter provides another way of looking at historical records with a critical lens
whereas the 'straightforward' indictment accuses historical records of various sorts of biases and slants, the 'indirect' meta-fictive insinuation notes at how narrative conventions and textual devices are already baked into the historical records
on a lighter note, it would be nice to have memes involving Xun Zheng and Yu Gi Oh (since he's called the king of duel, haha)
he gonna activate his trap card and banish challengers to the shadow realm
too bad Guan Yu has a reverse trap card
now back to the zone of the duel itself (since for the most part in the re-read I've been highlighting the thematic elements and the social commentary) Ravages reminds readers that its approach to fighting does not shy away from underhanded tricks (for instance, Xun Zheng's style involves taking out the horse before the rider, whereas Guan Yu's style uses the horse mainly as a jumping pad while tricking opponents into underestimating him)
neither are interested in drawn-out jousts on horseback
I didn't feature the pic where Liu Bei and Guan Yu talk about how one rises to fame by stepping on others, but it's important to bring it up (especially considering that in war conquerors tend to hype up their feats by assimilating those of the vanquished and this tendency gets passed down to when we engage in power level discussions and matchups)
the floating text began its remarks on battle conventions by pointing to the speeches on morality, and it wraps up with the use of embellishments and tall tales to celebrate the glory of the winner of a given round
of course, duels on their own do not determine the outcome of a battle much less a campaign (and in Ravages the iconic duels between the big names hardly change the course of the battle, though they make for interesting dramatic subplots and moments of spectacle)
and yet in certain instances, duels and their results (and the rumors that are generated in the process) can be used as tools to manage morale or buy time before the big attack, as is the case in this chapter
thus at the end of the day it is still the soldiers who fight and win wars, albeit under the direction of the schemers and with the aid of spectacles and stunt actors
now we enter 177, the chapter that so impressed me when I first read about it in tv tropes, so much so that it led me down this path (and elevated my expectations for stories about warfare and statecraft in the process)
the chapter begins with a summary of what has been going on in Liu Bei's front (and basically 176 is just a small part of the engagement)
recall that in 175 Zhang Liao and Ji Ling agreed on a broad strategic plan, that is to attack Liu Bei from the back (presumably this means not just Lu Bu's backstab, but also Ji Ling luring Liu Bei to advance so far that a reserve troop can be used to cut off Liu Bei's route back to Xuzhou)
basically at this point, even as Liu Bei brought the bulk of the troops in the campaign, Zhang Fei and Lu Bu are drafting troops and minions with the help of funds from merchants (Xu Dan on Lu Bu's side, Chen Deng on Zhang Fei's side)
on a side note, historical records usually label them as 'outlaws' as if they were just a motley gang (just like how state apparatuses disparagingly call various insurgent organizations as rebels and bandits), but many such forces are more like minor warlord factions that happen to be based in the outskirts
at any rate, the plan to take over Xuzhou involves these 'outlaws' who presumably have a grudge on Liu Bei (though of course there's a twist to all this)
thus far
Lu Bu wants to take over Xuzhou (with the help of outlaws)
Zhang Fei wants to lure Lu Bu into a trap at the provincial seat of Xuzhou (by pretending to be reckless)
Lu Bu plans to arrive at the city under the pretext of helping fight the outlaws on their way
Zhang Fei plans a banquet to gather pro-Lu partisans into the main city
incidentally, the 'cheng xia yi ju' motif is in play in the volume, insofar as the sides are trying to gather under the walls (in different ways)
what's fascinating about the chapter is that it painstakingly notes the various factors being considered and mobilized for what is a rather minor showdown
the calendar is weaponized (Zhang Fei setting the date for the banquet, Cao Bao's lackeys getting a convenient troop rotation schedule)
urban layouts are weaponized (Zhang Fei noting how the alleys can be used to ambush Lu Bu's troops, Cao Bao planning to set fire to a particular quarter as a decoy, Chen Gong buying up houses as outposts)
rumors are weaponized (stories of Zhang Fei's recklessness becoming a hot topic as reported by Chen Gong's spies, mainly to gather more outlaws to the fray)
finances are weaponized (Chen Deng planning to bribe the outlaws to outbid Xu Dan, not to mention the extra spending to ensure Zhang Fei's ambush troop becomes more mobile)
as the factions keep planning, the scenario becomes more and more complex
remember that the basic premise is that Lu Bu wants to capture the provincial seat and thereby control Xuzhou, while Zhang Fei wants to lure Lu Bu into a trap
for the sake of that both camps have gone as far as spreading exaggerated rumors, sending spies, rigging security schedules, laying an ambush in alleyways, preparing to set an area on fire as a decoy, anticipating the fire attack and repurposing it as a signal, etc.
and this is just the preparatory stage, like rehearsing the parlor games for the party, haha
essentially though, the plan hinges on which side the outlaws will take
supposing the outlaws join Zhang Fei, Lu Bu can be trapped in the city with little room for escape
supposing the outlaws join Lu Bu, Zhang Fei can be squeezed with Lu Bu holding the city center (if he gets there) and the outlaws positioned outside the city gates
and then there's this page
it's almost as if Ravages is talking about not so much the struggles and intrigues of the last days of Han, but the convoluted arrangements and contests of the 20th and 21st centuries
basically an indication that Ravages isn't just some story about warfare and statecraft, but also a commentary on warfare and statecraft (and a commentary on stories about warfare and statecraft), in narrative form
and this makes Ravages far more sophisticated than many other tales dealing with similar topics, as exemplified in the
though I really wish there were more texts to rival Ravages in this respect
ultimately it's these complex aspects (rather than the usual moments) that drew me to the series in the first place (and in this regard I may be part of a super-minority) and while it doesn't represent a scholarly innovation (though I argue that Ravages can be a site for further research) it nonetheless raises the bar with regard to what stories can do (and how they can stimulate further thinking)
to briefly review the situation
Lu Bu (who is colluding with Yuan Shu) plans to take over Xuzhou by first taking the administrative seat (with the help of outlaws) while Liu Bei is away fighting Yuan Shu's forces (as a result of an imperial edict arranged by Cao Cao)
Zhang Fei (who wants to pre-emptively get rid of a potential threat) plans to lure Lu Bu and his associates into a trap by organizing a banquet (and spreading disinfo about his recklessness)
Cao Bao's henchmen are in charge of the security detail on the day of the banquet as well as preceding days
Chen Deng pours in financial resources to help Zhang Fei entrap Lu Bu
(a reminder that both Chen Deng and Cao Bao are influential in the province, having served Tao Qian previously)
the gimmick is that Lu Bu comes to the city under the pretext of sending aid when in fact he's planning to seize the city center before the outlaws arrive
Zhang Fei for his part arranges for only the south and east gates to be open on the day of the banquet, since the streets in those quarters are narrower and good for an ambush
Cao Bao, given his influence within the city, plans to set a fire on a certain spot in a bid to distract the hidden ambush troop
Chen Deng is persuaded to spend even more resources to increase the mobility of the ambush troop, with the anticipated fire to be seen as a signal to commence the operation
as a side plan, it seems the troops supposed to supply Liu Bei are also given secret orders to attack Lu Bu's base in Xiaopei on their way back
on the day of the party, both sides exercise extra caution, mutually anticipating one another's plans
Cao Bao may have brought several guests and escorts with him, but the number of collaborators is too many to list (with some acting as scouts on the lookout for suspicious movements throughout the city)
in turn, the ambush troops try to keep themselves hidden so as not to attract the attention of the security forces under Cao Bao
as anticipated, while Lu Bu is also on his way, Zhang Liao proceeds to enter first to lead the vanguard (and is let in with the help of insiders at the gates)
we've already been told that the ambush is set in the east and south quarters due to the narrow streets there, so the closure of the north and west gates is less about keeping spies out (Cao Bao's collaborators are already present in the city) and more about forcing Lu Bu to go through the narrow streets
of course, throughout the party, Zhang Fei is still keeping up appearances of being a carefree drunkard, to make Cao Bao lower his guard and strike prematurely
an amusing part of the chapter concerns the code words and phrases being used to convey information (basically a pretext for Chen Mou to engage in minor word play, haha)
incidentally, many stories of stratagems and intrigue in the central plains have involved puns and innuendos and veiled insinuations, so this is in keeping with the tradition
additionally, the reference to Zhurong is a deliberate one, a hint that a fire attack is about to begin anytime soon
in another note, while it's nice to see Ravages incorporate tidbits of folklore here and there (ranging from Tengri to Chisongzi and Chiyou), aside from the Taiping sects we don't see religious movements and practices being explored in much detail throughout the series... hopefully this lacuna is addressed in future developments
the security scheme even involves the commoners as part of an effort to feign a sense of panic and manufacture controlled chaos (basically a 'bavarian fire drill' in the language of conspiracies, haha)
I just want to say that in terms of banquet intrigues, Ravages really raised the bar with this one
other twists and turns and traps at feasts and parties simply pale in comparison to the '16 moves'
too bad this minion has been named in deluxe volume 11 as Lu Chang, but I like how he and Cao Bao have complementary outfits
and so with a nicely drawn fish dish as a signal (not to mention Zhang Fei offering to show guests how he fetches items), the real party is about to begin
there is a particular policy objective (which will be revealed more clearly in the chapters ahead) there is the broad strategic plan (that is to say, the overall struggle for the city and by extension the province)
there are the operational details (basically the preparation and implementation of the 16 moves)
I stress operations rather than tactics since Ravages seldom gets into the granular aspects of specific maneuvers
the nice thing about 179 (for purposes of re-reading) is that it's relatively fast-paced, with the players beginning to take action
basically the initial battle plan of Lu Bu's main invasion force involves splitting into 3 groups (the first to handle Zhang Fei's troop, the second to secure the gate, the third to head to the city center following Zhang Liao's vanguard)
to be fair, throughout this charade, Zhang Fei made sure to keep the commoners safe using appropriate evacuation protocols (and arguably, Lu Bu's battle plan doesn't involve causing that much mayhem and disturbance, but only inflicting enough to distract Zhang Fei and secure the city)
also, another interesting feature of Ravages is that it includes occasional snippets of commoners commenting on the situation
in many cases they are shown to be perceptive (and at times rather cynical too)
they may not control that much leverage in the power struggle, but they are not completely disempowered as they are still able to make some sense of what's going on and articulate what they have in mind
posting this just to showcase an instance of Ravages camera tricks (it just so happens that there are too many flat closeup panels by comparison)
the struggle for the city also involves its own iteration of the besiegers getting besieged, haha
also, the last Lu Bu body double to be killed on-panel
considering that 177 and 178 are 2 days apart, my speculation is that Lu Bu could have snuck in using a supply wagon perhaps on the middle day or earlier in the day of the party (knowing that Cao Bao's henchmen handled the security detail)
And I daresay common ground of Fei and Liao to allow Lu Bu snuck in was hinted beforehand.
Just like how Liao agreed to free Meng, because it would negatively affect Lu Bu
For the 180th chapter analysis, check this link - https://www.reddit.com/r/RavagesOfTime/comments/fbssrf/chapter_180_analysis/
essentially 181 is where the party is about to wind down, but not without revealing some surprises along the way
the nice thing about action scenes is that (unless one wishes to discuss the nuances and niceties in the choreography and the paneling) one can go through them fairly quickly
one thing to note is that while the narrow quarters restrict Zhang Liao's effective range (and moreover can presumably lead to situations where a miscalculated swing can lead to the blade getting stuck or someone's grip on the weapon messing up), the narrow quarters also restrict opportunities for evasion
another nice touch about Ravages is that it depicts weapons and armor as being fragile
even though Zhang Liao had the upper hand in that round when it comes to melee weapons, Liaoyuan Huo has some surprises in store (too bad we don't really get to see this segment on-panel)
Ravages also likes to add subtle hints winking and nudging about the next steps and the upcoming revelations
in this case, Liaoyuan Huo insinuates that Zhang Liao and Zhang Fei may have secretly agreed upon something
I mentioned previously how the schemes of Lu Bu and Zhang Fei hinge on which side the outlaws would take, and it's amusing that these outlaws (other than Cao Cao) turned out to be the biggest beneficiaries during this incident
this is the equivalent to the same set of hired guns playing with and profiting from two rival groups that seek to outbid one another in securing the mercenary services
and then Zhang Fei makes his big reveal, that it turns out the strategic goal all along was to abandon Xuzhou (since given Liu Bei's reputation as a heroic loyalist, certain warlords elsewhere would like to welcome him, not to mention this further tarnishes Lu Bu's reputation)
yet one has to wonder way they did not purged those outlaws
I think the outlaws were militarily powerful (they could be the same group as the Mount Tai bandits who show up on-panel in 231, defecting to Lu Bu's side after Xun Yu's abduction), and neither Lu Bu nor Liu Bei would want to waste effort suppressing them completely
now not to be outdone, Lu Bu unveils his own twist, the so-called sixteenth move (which involves Chen Gong taking a troop with him to a low-key city in Xuzhou, where Chen Gui is harboring and protecting Liu Bei's wives)
deluxe volume 11 also gives the full name of Wu as Wu Hui
more importantly, the two sides were careful not just to minimize their own casualties, but also to minimize the adverse impact on the commoners (and that is why it often takes a complex method to do something simple, since one has to consider many factors)
there's also a side discussion touching upon how the uninvolved can see through the charade
this is not to say that outsiders are familiar with all the details the insiders have to deal with, but outsiders can surmise the wider picture (or at least the broad outlines of it) and ask the bigger questions since they are not as caught up in the moment, wrapped in the fog of war
an alternate translation of the quote from the Analects goes:
"If the Way is being realized in the world then show yourself; if it is not, then go into reclusion"
this can either refer to Pang Tong taking his step, or perhaps Zhuge Liang and Liu Bei lying low
the 'five hegemons' may also be an indirect reference to the five hegemons of the Spring and Autumn period
and then there's the foreshadowing of a realm split into three, roughly along geographical lines
there's a minor design error in the painting though as shown in the chapter title page, since Sima Hui and Pang Tong speak of the 5 mountains arranged as a northern one, a southeastern one, and three in the south (and southwest) lumped together, but instead the painting shows two northern mountains and three southern ones... still, the painting looks nice nonetheless
essentially the prediction is about a tripartite balance whereby one faction holds the areas north of the yellow river, another holds the eastern areas by the long river, and the third holds the south-central heartland plus the southwestern mountains (for the most part the 3 kingdoms after Han adopt a similar arrangement with the notable exception being that Wu rather than Shu gets to hold the south-central area instead due to the intrigues involving Guan Yu's downfall though story-wise the prediction does not state for instance who will control the northwest)
now even without Lu Bu's sneaky move, we must consider that Yuan Shu has more resources than Liu Bei, and so had the campaign dragged out Liu Bei would be at a disadvantage despite having the talents of Guan Yu and Zhang Fei
of course it's revealed a few pages later that this incident of Guan Yu threatening to execute Zhang Fei (low-key playing with Liu Bei's sentiments about the brotherhood) was all for show - to nudge Liu Bei a little more towards the breaking point into the dark side
now, we're not shown how the Zhongjia troops were able to defeat the Han loyalist troops (since last time we saw, Liu Bei was able to secure at least one stronghold)
however, I could speculate the following scenario: with Lu Bu's sudden takeover of Xuzhou, Zhang Fei was forced to withdraw (while certain other troops simply surrendered to Lu Bu), which means the frontlines could no longer count on supply deliveries or fresh reinforcements... and since Yuan Shu presumably has more troops in reserve (not to mention the agreed-upon plan between Ji Ling and Zhang Liao in 175 to strike Liu Bei from behind), perhaps the surprise attack was timed just when Lu Bu was able to drive Zhang Fei out
this means at the very least that Yuan Shu's troops are not total pushovers when they have the advantage, haha
in another note, we could see that Liu Bei deeply feels bad about the people who lost their lives (and doubly so since his efforts ended in failure, not to mention he lost his territorial foothold, and his wives are hostages)
and thus begins Liu Bei's journey to the dark side (eventually as he gets darker he discards his dark cape and sticks to a light-colored robe green if we are to believe the game pics)
let us recall
Liu Bei in the early chapters was willing to be misunderstood and engage in some underhanded schemes, but his red line was that he refused to take advantage of others for his own gain (Guan Yu nudged him a bit by convincing him to play the part of a hero, Zhang Fei outright hijacked his plans to remain a straw sandal bandit by drugging him)
then Liu Bei slowly accepted that in troubled and messy times, some form of self-serving behavior is unavoidable, but nevertheless he remained steadfast in upholding loyalty to Han and treating a guest well (Zhang Fei's next plan was to further cultivate Liu Bei's ruthless side while also enhancing his reputation as an underdog, 2 birds in 1 stone)
eventually after almost being killed by Lu Bu's second backstab Liu Bei becomes more self-interested and becomes more protective about his reputation, coming to see it as an asset and a weapon in the power struggle (arguably in the late game he remains sincere and sentimental, but less about Han and more about those he deems his bros and pals)
on Guan Yu, while it may seem that Ravages didn't renovate his image as much (Chen Mou even admitted that his sacred image is too influential to be tweaked that much), but one can note that perhaps in Ravages Guan Yu isn't that awesome of a paragon for virtue (Zhang Fei even hints at that in a monologue in 102), but neither is he a fraud who only pretends to be virtuous... rather, it would seem that (like many people) he's simply trying hard to uphold the examples of the sages and would like to maintain a similar reputation (the further nuance explored in later chapters seems to be that he doesn't simply maintain the reputation of being virtuous, but also virtuously tries to perform the persona that the virtuous do not care about being praised for appearing virtuous)
I should note though that his beard his shorter than the usual depictions, haha
here Pang Tong basically recaps Zhang Fei's strategic goals (and while he doesn't know Zhang Fei's other goal about fetching a 'Liu Bang' and remolding Liu Bei further he speculates that the departure would give Liu Bei the opportunity to swallow up the domains of Liu Biao and Liu Zhang)
incidentally, in the Romance it is Pang Tong who manages to conveniently convince Liu Bei to take an ambitious step and seize control of Yizhou from Liu Zhang, so it's amusing to see a nod to that early on (even though Pang Tong is also misleading Sima Hui into thinking he's backing Liu Bei, when in fact he's paving the way for Liu Chong)
Pang Tong's iconic line for this chapter may perhaps indicate that of the 8, he's the one who relishes in intrigues and power struggles the most (even though he's a Han loyalist of sorts)
also, the description given to him was mis-translated... Pang Tong is pragmatic [實用] rather than utilitarian [功利] (Guo Jia's views may be closer to a broadly consequentialist approach to morality)
ironically he joins Liu Bei's side later on
for those familiar with the period it's a foregone thing (though Ravages messes with that expectation by having him help Liu Chong first)
if only Liu Chong had stronger bodyguards
other than the report that the hostage scheme allowed for a relatively bloodless takeover, what is interesting about this page is what it hints at: Lu Bu wanted to capture someone valuable
I think the reference is to Liaoyuan Huo
the discussion about old wounds and new wounds also suggests that regardless of Lu Bu's reputation, he's still fragile (and he's weakening bit by bit)
but the struggle is all the more magnificent for that
and for someone who schemed and betrayed his way to power to decline and fall by way of scheming and betrayal... similarly terrifying
and then of course there's this twist, which explains why Sima Yi was shown in the last part of 175
for those outlaws to receive three sets of bribes, materially speaking they're the biggest winners in the engagement (though since they're also part of the scheming game, they wouldn't simply waste what they have received for momentary enjoyments)
this also lays out the plan to undermine Lu Bu from within, by secretly co-opting the Chen clan to cooperate with Cao Cao
Chen Deng must be unhappy about it since Cao Cao's troops conducted the massacre in his home province years ago
and there's still a long way to go before Liaoyuan Huo earns the full trust of Liu Bei's core team...
anyway, that ends the special re-read of volume 22
in a nutshell the hostile takeover of Xuzhou is but a small piece in the larger geopolitical struggle, but what Ravages did was to make a minor skirmish more convoluted (and by extension, rendering the overall situation in a more complex manner)
basically to sum up the developments in volume 22
generally for those who don't mind reading Ravages in a non-linear fashion, I recommend checking out the one-volume mini-arcs (particularly volumes 6, 19, and 22 since 25 contains too many big narrative turns) as condensed samples of what the Ravages text has to offer
whereas volume 6 is a neat indicator of Ravages transitioning into a more cerebral approach (though I must point out that the mind games and the reflections are already there from the start, though in the first arc the action is more prominent) and while volume 19 is the initial step beyond the first 150 chapters (themselves a workable and longer snapshot of how Ravages stepped up and matured), volume 22 is perhaps that one volume that neatly packages many salient schemes and themes together in one concise bundle
now if one were to come up with a broad outline of the story covered in volume 22 it would be as follows
chapter 175: there's gonna be a party (and it will be a fun one)
chapter 176: meanwhile, for those missing out on the upcoming party...
chapter 177: hey let's prepare some stuff for the party
chapter 178: on the night of the party and we're counting down to the main event
chapter 179: IT'S PARTY TIME
chapter 180: in the meantime, someone who isn't on the party is exposing what parties really mean
chapter 181: party's almost over, time to wrap up
chapter 182: the mourning after the party
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I am glad to note that now that the author has literally had Moran tortured to death, instead of deciding to take a well-deserved break, the book decided to take it further.
Now that there is literally nothing left to do to Moran (or, frankly, CWN), why not take the one remaining major character who has not suffered tremendously and SEND HIM TO COMPLETE AND UTTER HELL?!?
Hi there, Xue Meng! You know how you are a good-natured, warm, “innocent” dude with a loving family?
Hah.
Not enough? Have some more!!!!!! Xue Meng remembering his father (who has just been murdered in front of his eyes, trying to protect him) as he goes berserk with slaughtering in his grief and rage.
So, the sects come to SiSeng Peak stating that SSP sect is evil and needs to disband. Basically, now that Moran is dead (because these fuckers killed him), why not get rid of his fam and sect? Led by the supposedly impartial justice palace which is actually in cahoots with the Big Bad (hi there, original timeline Shimei, I see you and your unfortunately not yet murdered self!) and with villagers who the SSP sect selflessly protected for decades but who are now willing to lie and perjure and claim SSP sect is evil.
Honestly, at this rate, I am feeling three things:
(a) 99% of the world of this novel is horrible people and I cannot believe the Xue family, Moran, Chu Wanning or the rest of the small number of good guys actually did everything to save them. I think everyone who survives this meat grinder of a novel should just fucking lock their doors and if peasants or other sects or whoever get eaten by demons - ehhh, tough luck. I am spoiled for the ultimate ending for the OTP and suffice it to say, I am glad Moran and CWN go and live in the middle of nowhere and deal with basically nobody because none of these awful excuses for human beings deserve any freaking assistance.
(b) I am glad Moran is dead atm because at least that means he’s not tormented further. But that means the author found new targets and poor poor Xue Meng! I kind of thought, just like Moran did, that the timeline change meant that Xue Meng’s original fate (loved and popular son of sect leader whose family gets wiped out and who is left alone and targeted and finding support nowhere) has been now assumed by Nangong Si. Hah! Nope, he still gets to have that bit of good time!
(c ) why is Taxian Jun not wandering around murdering people for kicks? He needs to because 99.9% of these people would benefit from a good massacre by a mad emperor. I know he’s busy restoring powers and being controlled by OG Shimei (who needs to be eaten by beetles) but come on, mad monarch, don’t be lazy, go tear out some throats!
Finally, the reveal about Madam Wang being so powerful and the fact that Xue Meng is the bio son not of awesome Xue uncle but Jiang Xi is !!!!! There is so much about family is not blood ties in this novel. Moran’s biological father was a monster who deserved what he got in either timeline and has no connection to Moran. Uncle Xue, who always knew Xue Meng was not his, was Xue Meng’s father more than anyone else could be - his pride and love and his ultimately dying for him is beyond and the reason the reveal hits so hard is because you would never ever have figured out that XM was not his son from anything in the novel - because Uncle Xue always fiercely viewed him as his regardless of the biological truth.
But then, all the Xue family is like that. Uncle Xue and Madam Wang and Xue Meng all still view Moran as their family, even when they find out he’s not related. I mean, see Madam Wang here:
God, I love them.
I mean, this is true love and the best dad.
Characters I adore in this novel: Moran, Chu Wanning, the Xue Family, Ye Wangxi, Nangong Si, Moran’s mom, Chu Xun and his fam.
Character I don’t mind: Mei Xianxue.
Everyone else should go straight to the bottomless pit.
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Took a break from Water Runs Clear and A War God From Another World for a bit to write this, since brain dead only insufferable MCs and unoriginal plots bc Shen Jiu constantly occupies my thoughts.
Death of the Author
Genre: Wuxia, Historical, Alternate History, Danmei, Mystery
Tags: Enemies to Lovers, Psychological, Insufferable MC, Mental Health, Major Character Deaths, Immoral MC
Main Couple: He Dehua | He Rujun/An Xun
Summary: He Dehua spent years building up his name as a writer god under pen name Jian He before boosting his ratings by over 1000% when he released his most popular work 「Bleeding Heart, Scarred Hero」 in manhua format. When the publishers furlough him, his work gets derailed by fan service.
Helpless, He Dehua can do nothing else but watch his beloved work go up in flames with fans cheering it on. He Dehua lives on in bitter resentment until life has another thing in store for him and he wakes up in the final boss’s body with a single task: fix the plot.
Easier said than done.
Read on Ao3
Wattpad linked in reblog, if you prefer that platform.
#writers on tumblr#original novel#danmei#wuxia#lgbt writers#death of the author#svsss#tagging the fandom for anyone else who loves shen jiu and rude MCs but also want to read smth original
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Dance of the Phoenix - Episode 15
It feels it has been forever since I watched last episode of this drama. The pas few days have been busy. I barely remember how episode 14 ended. But as the saying goes, better later than never.
So it seems Feng Wu has been in a bad mood lately which worries Qiu Ling and Zhaoge. Zhaoge even says she won’t let Jun Linyuan come near Feng Wu anymore unless he has her authorization. Right when they are thinking of taking Feng Wu out to change her ideas, Xuan Yi comes over. He wants to ask a little favour to Feng Wu. It’s going to be Elder Fang’s birthday soon and he wants to ask Feng Wu about medicine because his grandfather likes to collect knowledge.Then he recognizes Zhaoge because unlike other girls, she doesn’t smell of perfumes but of some foods. It’s so cute how Zhaoge is so obvious about her feelings for Xuan Yi. They look good together, I ship.
The queen is taking Qingluan in her carriage and makes sure she knows she expects her to be accepted as Wu Youdao’s disciple.
Xuanyi goes to the market with Qiu Ling and Zhaoge. He’s really looking down on everything. But SO CUTE. Zhaoge buys him a rock that is supposed to protect him from beasts and demons. AND HE SMILES. Believe it or not. Qiu Ling sees Feng Wu so the girls are going to catch up with her. But right then trouble stirs in the capital. A man lost control of his horse. Feng Wu tries to protect a kid, nearly losing her life, and a random man saves her. probably Wu Youdao. I mean, who else? They needed to introduce the character and that seems a good way of doing so. Xuan Yi saves Zhaoge from the horse. Wu Youdao scolds Feng Wu for truing to save without caring for her life. Zuo Qingluan thanks him, like go away, you did nothing. And Gao Wei guesses he’s Wu Youdao. When he presents himself to the king, the queen tries to get him to teach her and he says no hahaha. Elder Fang sides with him. He explains to Jun Linyuan that it’s best not trying to force him, because he’s obstinate.
Zuo Qingluan is trying her move on Wu Youdao. I hope he rejects her and takes Feng Wu as a disciple instead. He tests her cultivation and seeing that she’s from the Celestial Palace, he rejects her: she already has a master and he doesn’t want to upset other people. smart guy. She won’t give up. But he just tells her to go study at the Junwu Academy if she wants to improve.
Feng Wu is really intrigued by Wu Youdao, she feels he’s really familiar. Also the colourful phoenix tells her he has something similar with her master. And that Mu Jiuzhou founded the Junwu Academy. She’s starting to think maybe getting into the Junwu Academy is inevitable. Right then, Qiu Ling comes over to tell her Jun Kinyuan and the others came. He prepared books for her to study since she knows she needs to study a lot. She studies hard until late at night and Yu Mingye comes to see her. He says he saw Wu Youdao with Elder Fang. Seems like they are friends. With Old Ba too. So next thing you know, Feng Wu is giving a massage to Wu Youdao and says all the nice things Old Ba supposedly said about him. She’s stirring trouble that little girl! Elder Fang comes over angry because he has the drawing Feng Wu supposedly gave him and they are having a go match against each other and Feng Wu takes down notes. And while they have their fight in the air after exploding the chess board, Feng Wu understand something. But I don’t know what yet.
Zhaoge asks Xuanyi to eat with her before the exam. He wishes her success and promises her that if she gets in the Junwu Academy, he will fulfill a wish for her. They so cute together. Then he makes her study and skip the meal.
The queen wanted to have Wu youdao to eat with her, but he refuses. She’s so pissed hahaha! Qingluan says she will work harder, but the queen then says sometimes putting efforts is not enough and then the only thing left to do is to destroy what one can’t have. She sends Zuo Qingluan away, even though they didn’t eat. Poor girl must be starving. But she doesn’t deserve better. Oh the queen is really pissed. She orders Gao Wei to deal with him. They try to kill Wu Youdao, but he’s not that easy to kill.
Of course, Jun Linyuan was in town in the middle of the night. But why only with Xuan Yi ? Where is my Feng Xun baby? They take Wu Youdao away. And bring them to Feng Xun’s place. Wu Youdao tells him though that he can’t help him, he’s too old now. And he knows the queen is the one who tried killing him, but he didn’t tell Jun Linyuan about that.
This drama keeps getting better with each episode. I’m really happy about this one and can’t wait to watch episode 16 now. Probably tomorrow or Sunday.
#dance of the phoenix#qie ting feng ming#yang chaoyue#feng wu#xu kaicheng#jun linyuan#caesar guo#feng xun#gao jicai#xuan yi#estelle chen#zhao ge#jinna#zuo qingluan#wang haoxuan#yu mingye#xuanhuan#xuanhuan drama#cdrama#c-drama#drama review#drama recap#drama reaction
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(from the journal of armel sheothil)
‘Write it out,’ Areleth said. ‘It’ll help.’ Right. Easy for her to say. She’s a published author. Even Saga liked her books!
I’m only doing this because my nightmares have started up again. The mission in the Embassy messed me up more than I thought it would, I guess.
It’s not like that I don’t like journalling. I do. I kept journals since I could write. They’re all just very... straight-foward, I suppose? ‘I escaped Helgen. I’m going to Riverwood for supplies. I’ll get ten gold if I deliver a letter for so-and-so.’ Stuff like that. A habit I had since I was twelve.
Still, maybe writing out everything will help. People may want a definitive account of my life one day. As frosty as the Nords are to me, I heard I’m quite popular down in Cyrodiil, on account of my being raised there and the Dragonborn being the sort of poster-child of the Empire and everything.
Alright. Here goes. What I write here is something I’ve never told anyone. I told Badbr and Syrabane that I was born and raised in Bruma. I wasn’t. I mean, I was in Bruma up until I was expelled, but until I was twelve, I lived in the Imperial City. So, here. The truth of how I ended up in Bruma.
As of 4E 201, I am thirty-six years old. Bretons age a bit differently from normal men, on account of the Elven blood that we have, so I always seem to age a bit slower than my fully-men friends - luckily, it’s hard to notice up until I hit about fifty.
I spent the first eleven years of my life in the Imperial City. My father was a Blade in the Summerset Isles, as was my mother; but she retired after becoming pregnant with me.
I was playing in the Aboretum when the Altmer came through with the cart. He was dressed in the fine clothes of a Thalmor agent, and I was curious. Even I, as young as I was, knew that the Thalmor just doesn’t... go places. I was half-tempted to follow, but I felt... Well, it’s hard to explain. Maybe it was the Dragonblood. Maybe it was the natural intuition that kids seem to have. I ran to tell my mother of the Altmer with the cart.
She told me to stay put in the house. We lived in a comfy little place in the Elven Gardens district. So I stayed put. For days. If you want to torture a dragonblooded child, stick them in a house for a few days and forbid them to leave.
But, as was usual, she was right. I remember her coming in one day, supported on one side by a big, blonde Nord woman I recognized as my mother’s friend, Saga. I remember her bending down to my height, her eyes swollen and red, a fury unlike any other in her eyes. I remember her telling me that my father had been killed by the Thalmor, and that we were going into hiding. The Empire was at war.
We stayed in the City. I think my mother thought it would be safer. It was on my tenth birthday, the 12th of Second Seed, 4E 174, that my mother was proven wrong.
She joined the defense of the City. She felt like it was her duty, I think, as a Blade. I remember her brushing my hair, pressing a kiss to my forehead, and wishing me a happy birthday. I remember her telling me that I’d do amazing things one day. I think she knew that she wouldn’t survive the battle.
I don’t remember what happened in the year that followed. Well, that’s not entirely true -- I remember the smell of smoke and fire and blood and the sound of screams. I still have nightmares about it sometimes. Not often, not like I used to. But I don’t remember seeing anything. It’s maddening, but... probably for the best.
Saga and I stayed in the City until it was liberated by Imperial forces in 4E 175. What else could we do? I think Saga would’ve braved an escape if I wasn’t in her care. Maybe. I’m not sure.
Either way, save for the smells and the sounds, my next clear memory after my mother leaving for battle was arriving in Bruma. Saga and I made a home there. I started collecting books - I think I saw the Thalmor burning libraries, maybe that’s the root of my habit - and I started obsessively keeping my journals. My little ways of coping.
Then the Thalmor took her from me, too. Talos worship, they said. But I knew it was because she was a Blade.
Then I was alone in a strange city. The rest is how I’ve told it - Badbr and Xun, Ser Ivan, Ser Timothe, lycanthropy, kicked out of the Knights, ran away to Skyrim, found myself about to be executed, big dragon.
So, there. It’s in ink now. I’ve admitted to myself that this happened and I can’t take it back. Maybe one day I’ll work up the courage to talk to Syrabane about it.
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