#ask the butcher
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NEW BLOG :D
hi hi! if your new here, welcome to the "ask bob the chef/butcher" blog!
Bob here works at boys n grills and never joined the cult. he also has a little girl named Eloise! :D
things to know: Bob is 39, 7'3 feet tall, and is bisexual.
rules:
- no porn
- no nsfw asks
- no proshipping or nsfw >:(
- DO NOT SPAM
- SOME SHIPS MAY OR MAY NOT BE CANON. DON'T BE MAD IF YOURS DOESN'T BECOME CANON.
- this world is not exactly normal
- you can ask other characters (i seriously encourage it-)
- Bob is 39. you better not try to ship underage, incest, or anything bad >:/
- FOR GODS SAKE DO NOT ADD YOUR HEADCANONS TO MY BOB.
- no you cannot make permanent M!A's
- steal art = blocked
- you can make shitpost ships (ex. sans x bob-)
- THIS IS AN AU. ANY ACTIONS FROM SPOOKY MONTH ARE NOT CANON HERE.
Here's Bobby! :D
WITHOUT FURTHER ADO: ask away :)
#art#ask bob the chef#ask bob velseb#thebekashow#spooky month bob velseb#bob velseb au#spooky month au#bob velseb#ask the butcher
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Pov; Bob wants to snuggle you
" C ' M E R E S W E E T H E A R T. "
#art#thebekashow#bob velseb#spooky month au#bob velseb au#q&a#spooky month bob velseb#ask the butcher#ask bob the chef#ask bob velseb#gif#hehe#S T A R T R U N N I N G.
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it's national draw your sibling day
#id in alt text#avatar the last airbender#atla#katara#sokka#katara&sokka#art#mart#oldergaang#portraitgaang#i like to think they get less antagonistic once theyre in their twenties#i also firmly believe w every fibre of my soul that sokka improves his art#(and im coming for anyone who says otherwise in the comments of this post with hammers. jsyk)#also drawing w charcoal is way easier than ink painting. so maybe he realizes that too#also apologies if i butchered the spelling of katara's name i was just working w the wiki but . if its bad u can say its intentional#bc sokka is stupid or whatever idk 😭#anyway. this ACTUALLY started bc i was thinking about how we never actually see katara draw#but i just KNOW that she would have the most anime art style#dont ask me how i know these things ok i just do#so this whole thing was just an excuse to showcase that . lmao#i worked so hard on this tho. pls clap
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HEY THERE!
I'm sorry if it's rude or annoying, but can youplease draw Deku and Bakougo as double trouble? With like,,, the crop tops?? That would be sooo cool!!!
(I imagine Deku doing the peace sign towards the camera and gixigfp)
idk double trouble so here’s them as team rocket instead
#I only take requests if I can butcher them#ask#bnha#bkdk#pokemon#prepare for trouble#and make it double
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i would gladly give butcher!ghost his chubby babies omg
Please do it, he deserves it :(( All Butcher!Simon wants is a family with you and watch you swell and then give birth to his chunky healthy baby is literally the pinnacle of that dream.
Your new daughter would basically be never not carried, always with either mommy or daddy and she's such a happy little thing :(( Despite being only like three weeks old she stares up at you and your husband like you're the most precious beings ever and she will smile and giggle in that adorable baby voice at everything you do and say to her.
She's very curious too! When Simon is holding her and showing her your beautiful flower garden, her big (e/c) eyes literally light up in wonder of all the new things in this huge new world.
But both yours and Simon's favorite time is when you feed her in the evening; your back is pressed against the blond's huge chest as he sits behind you and supports your arms while you're holding your little cub close and let her feed as much as she wants, soft warm smiles grace both yours and Simon's faces as you look at the little wonder you two created :((
Simon would then press a kiss to your jaw and whisper in your ear a reverent thank you; thanking you for giving him a purpose to live, thanking you for a warm place to call home and especially for giving him this little chunky bundle of joy for him to father and nurture <3
#kin speaks#asks#interactions#butcher!ghost#cod x reader#cod mw x reader#simon riley x reader#simon ghost riley x reader#ghost x reader#simon ghost riley#simon riley cod
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…I had a thought about the halovians(specifically sunday) and want to know peoples opinions. do u think he has nesting instincts? :3 thank u for listening to my ted talk.
hi (i did say i was gonna answer this 2 weeks ago unfortunately I forgot i'm so sorry.) But anyways, thank you for your ask, and 100% he does.
tw: non-con, forced pregnancy, dark content. truly the unedited sleep deprived trying to write.
Okay i finished writing this i know you didn't ask for acutal writing but i went ahead and did it anyways because why not hope u don't mind
also excuse the fact that thus was posted at 4am and I was half falling asleep already while writing this.
There were three days in your life that you could have called the worst.
The first one was the day when Sunday took your life away from you, and claimed you to be his "wife". The second was when first time he chose to be intimate. The third was when you got pregnant as a result.
Nothing had ever stuck to you like the day after that. You felt like washing the sheets until your hands would bleed. You wanted to submerge yourself in bleach until every fiber of your body burned, shriveled up, and died.
You wanted to forget that it happened. That the events in the previous night ever happened at all.
But the soreness between your legs was a constant reminder. And even though the pain went away after a few days, it was replaced by something much worse. Something you feared.
You saw the signs from the second you got them. Your body felt heavy. You were constantly tired. You had lost interest in eating. It was obvious what was going on.
And for a few days, you tried to hide it. The longer Sunday didn't know, the better it was for you. That way, you could slowly while away your last few moments in peace before everything was taken from you in entirety.
After a few weeks, you couldn't hide it anymore. You remember staring at the double line on the pregnancy test.
You almost instantly broke down into tears. It wasn't anything that you hadn't already know n, but maybe part of you still just believed you were ill, that maybe there was another reason why you had missed your period that month. That the pain you kept experiencing was just from some kind of illness.
The last thing you could keep away from Sunday was taken away from you that day. The sense of freedom you could've had.
To Sunday, you suppose this was the final step he needed to take to bind you to him. Another way to control you. Another way to keep you in his arms, and make sure you wouldn't let go.
And if you didn't want to get murdered by the press, if you didn't want to further sabotage both your own and Sunday's public image, you knew to take it.
You had no choice but to take it. You were no more than an insect trapped under his thumb.
-
out of the two of you, there was only one person that was particularly enthusiastic about having a child.
It certainly wasn't you.
Ever since you had first found out about the pregnancy, you had felt empty. As if someone directly sucked the soul out of your body.
You weren't yourself anymore. You hadn't been for a long time.
Sunday didn't seem too bothered by it though.
You weren't sure if it was just his own parental instincts, or whether he could tell that it was almost time for you go into labour. Maybe it was a combination of both. You didn't care. You couldn't care less.
All you knew was that his presence was suffocating. Overbearing. Invasive, even.
You couldn't do anything by yourself. Sunday felt the need to assist you with everything you did. Even basic tasks such as grabbing an object, he insisted that he would get for you.
But what set you off the most, was his intense urge to keep the house in order. You had never seen him having such intense urges to organize a room even when just the slightest thing was out of order. He couldn't stand seeing the slightest speck of dust, he couldn't stand seeing the furniture just an inch out of place.
It drove you to madness.
If you had even slightly misplaced something Sunday you would notice Sunday getting slightly agitated.
From the moment he came home, to the moment he would fall asleep, he spent every waking second making sure the house was perfectly in order, before obsessing over you. At some point you just wanted to wave him off. Lock yourself in the bathroom and sleep for a long period of time, until you had no concept of reality anymore.
You didn't have it in you to keep going. week after week, month after month, Sunday's final goal had always to perfect you into an obedient wife that would do as they were told. And no matter how you tried to fight it... you were always forced back into obedience.
There's two cold fingers touching your chin, and lifting your face up, until you're forced to meet a pair of eyes.
They're bright. Everytime you see them, you can't help but try to look away. They were as bright as the sun, and just like the sun, you felt as if you were going to be blinded jfyou looked at them for too long. You guess it could've also been a sentiment to the power he held over you too.
"Dear, did you hear a word I just said?"
It's an obvious answer. But, you know better by now just to answer the question. You slightly shake your head, which supposedly satisfied him enough, to let go of the fi gers holding your head up.
He sighs, you're not sure in annoyance or in disappointment.
"If you keep acting like this, I'm going to need to resort to drastic measures..."
You look at him one more time. You remember how when you first saw him, you thought of him to be beautiful. To be almost ethereal.
You regret falling into that hypnosis. You regret looking at him at all.
Look at where it got you.
#yandere sunday x reader#yandere sunday#sunday x reader#sunday smut#yandere hsr#yandere x reader#hsr smut#hsr x reader#sorry if i butchered your ask its like. late rn. 💀
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how im feeling abt 34 + some faroe au doodles
#i have so many thoughts on malevolent rn#and my aus#begging everyone to come send me asks i just fucking love talking about it#but oh my god. in shambles#i love my little johns#malevolent#malevolent podcast#john doe#john malevolent#arthur lester#arthur malevolent#faroe lester#faroe malevolent#the butcher#dennis collins#privateeyes#daniel malevolent#the king in yellow
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I'm sorry a TURKEY did WHAT to your mother's contact lens?? HOW??????
Right, yeah. So we had this turkey when I was growing up. And we raised this fucker from a tiny little baby, hand fed him, just doted on him. He was our first turkey ever. My mom called him Tom.
One day, she needed to work in a pasture so the flock of assorted fowl, (chickens, geese, and Tom) needed to be gently herded into an auxiliary pasture for the time being. The geese were biddable enough, the chickens ran ahead.
But Tom was not feeling it. He puffed up in irritation and my mom leaned down with her arms spread to usher Tom through the gate. Tom parked it. He turned to regard my mom with avian malice. And as she leaned down he shot out his horrible bald head and pecked her eye.
My mom screamed and fell backward, flailing enough that Tom fled through the gate anyway. When she recovered herself she came back inside, shaken and furious.
She checked out her eye and found it miraculously undamaged after the assault. It was like an hour later when she realized her contact lens was missing and the whole family speculated that it had saved her eye from Tom’s attack.
Tom did not live to see another sunrise.
#ask ffs#it was way too dangerous to keep a bird that went for peoples eyes especially since I was around all the animals as a young kid#I don’t like bird meat so I don’t recall eating Tom#but my mom hasn’t perfected butchering yet and he may have ended up as crab bait
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Honestly, I think if Alison had consulted her finances with Fanny (self-taught but competent businesswoman), Pat (had a full-time job at the bank), and Julian (admittedly morally bankrupt with it but knows how to handle money) then the Cooper's financial situation would've been a lot better
#they could've helped her out so much but she never bothered to ask lol#bbc ghosts#alison cooper#fanny button#lady button#stephanie button#pat butcher#julian fawcett
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Yo can I get some barbacue ribs? Been craving those for days.
- love, JayDogg
#art#ask bob the chef#ask bob velseb#ask the butcher#bob velseb#bob velseb au#spooky month bob velseb#ask bob the butcher#q&a#spooky month au#woohoo#ribs#mmm ribs
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Bobba, Louis tried to teach me how to juggles knives..but he says I did it wrong, I need a 2nd opinion.
(BLOOD WARNING)
Did I do it wrong?
(OH GAHD LOUIS WHAT HAVE YOU DONE??-)
(my half and answer)
Cw: blood lol
:D all clean!
#submission#lunaglitchercc#luna#ask bob#ask bob velseb#bob velseb spooky month#thebekashow#ask the butcher#ask bob the butcher#ask bob the chef#cw: blood
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*stares up at ceiling* choosing eradication of language as the cornerstone of the song for the 'Violence' circle of hell....
#I listened to the album having no idea about the circles#just looked it up now#gonna listen to it again tomorrow with this information and fully weep#hozier#natchat5#unreal unearth#butchered tongue#thinks about that tweet that's like 'I'm speaking English'#in response to a tweet asking what colonialism had done to them that was so bad
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hiii kin < 3 do u think we could get more butcher ghost plz … he’s been on my mind literally the time since YESTERDAY wen a big butcher man at the shop in my town complimented my dress & gave me xtra meat 🙏🏽
YOU'RE KIDDING??? Ok but now I'm legit jealous ;;
Okay but...Butcher!Si would definitely do the same :(( Ofc he always gives you some extra meat anyways, only choosing the best and freshest cuts to leave specifically for you, but this time it was a little bit different.
This time you needed to buy a whole chicken because your neighbours were coming over, a lovely older couple that helped you so much when you first arrived in town and you always want them to get the best possible hospitality whenever they come over so you decided to make some lemon roasted chicken, and who would be better to supply it than the lovely, older and huge butcher, Simon!
The thing is you don;t understand (at least not yet atp) what you do to the poor man's heart and cock. When he saw you strutting in, all cute and dolled up in that flowy yellow summer dress with that bright smile on your face, Simon felt like his breath was punched out of his lungs at once.
He'd compliment you in that gruff, low tone of his, throwing only a 'You look pretty', and everything else was kept inside his head, the fantasy of ripping the dress from your body and taking you up against the wall would have to wait until after his shift when he gets back to the privacy of his shitty flat so he can jerk off until he overstimulates himself <3
#kin speaks#asks#interactions#where do y'all get these big charming butchers#butcher!simon#butcher!ghost#cod x reader#cod mw x reader#simon riley x reader#simon ghost riley x reader#ghost x reader#simon ghost riley#simon riley cod
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Button House Birdwatching Society is 2 members strong but they don't mind
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oh yeah lmfao u wanna know the real reason self-checkouts are getting removed?
cuz they have a scale.
So if u get a thing of like, chicken, and it says it's $2 a pound and that it's 4 lbs, it's $8.
6/10 times if you weigh it on the self checkout scale it's half that weight, which means u can request a manager to alter the price so it's correct.
We have come full circle. From bakers that halved their loaves with sawdust and rolled the dough on boards with holes to skim of the top, to lying about the weight of meat. A tale as old as time.
#shopping#love large chain stores#my hometown had a butcher that weighed it right in front of u#so u knew u were getting exactly what u asked for#good shop#trustworthy one too
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S/o teaching Ryan cuss words, not knowing Homelander is LITERALLY hearing everything , in a meeting?
Tapping his index finger on the armrest of his chair, Homelander's patience thins the longer this meeting drags on.
He's never left you alone with Ryan before, and while he's not concerned per se, he is maybe a touch... irritated. Not for anything either of you did, but for the hyperawareness of what he knows he's missing out on. Laughter, bonding, that sweet sense of familial comfort.
It's only just begun to take shape between the three of you, and it needles him to not be a part of it. What if the two of you watch a movie he hasn't seen, and it's all the two of you want to talk about over dinner?
Attention drifting, he unconsciously begins tuning towards the sound of Ryan's voice. The two of your aren't far, with his suite just several floors above the conference room. He should be able to hear what the two of you are—
"You're fucked!" Ryan declares proudly. Homelander visibly jerks, startling the woman sitting to his left, though no one makes mention of it.
"Yes! 'You're fucked' turns 'fuck' into an adjective. Good job!" You praise. He can hear the broad smile in your voice. "Now, can you give me an example of 'fuck' as a noun?"
There's a pause before Ryan tentatively answers, "Like fuck I'm going to bed?"
The distinct clap of a high-five rings in his ears.
"Yes! That's right!" You say, followed by the both of you falling into laughter.
Homelander's incredulous look shifts slowly into a smile that's equal parts disbelief and delight.
You're fucking kidding me.
A usage that makes 'fuck' an adverb, by the way. He's looking forward to surprising you by sharing that little tidbit when he gets home.
#ask and you shall receive#darling anon#homelander x reader#ryan butcher#x reader#my writing#i'm super stoned so i sure hope i used all those definitions correctly LMAO#dadlander
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