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ddarker-dreams · 4 years

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Purgatorio. Yan Giorno x Reader [COMM]

Warnings: Stockholm syndrome, descriptions of anxiety, briefly implied suicidal thoughts. Word count: 3.2k.

Cold droplets of water run down the curves of your face, falling into the sink with a hushed splash.

The faucet runs in the background. For how long, you do not know. Time doesn’t move and neither do you. Everything is still -- too still -- lending to the impression the only person in this world is you. In a way, that conclusion is close to the truth. This would be paradise, meticulously crafted for your confinement, boasts a modest population of two.

Your hands grip tightly onto the edges of the countertop, knuckles going white from the vise-like grip. The pain you should feel from this tight hold goes unnoticed. Each forced breath is shakier than the last, betraying the intention of steadying your heaving chest. You lift your head. In the mirror, staring back is a figure that faintly resembles your liking. A version that would deceive anyone else into believing it to be you. On a surface level, they’d be correct. None of your features have changed drastically. The eyes that are staring back, though glassy now, are the same eyes you’ve always had in color and shape.

Shaky hands take liberty in splashing water towards your face. With undeterred focus, you direct the water mostly towards your lips, frantically dousing them. Once is nowhere near enough. Twice, three times, four times; nothing can wash away the faint tingling that haunts. This doesn’t deter you. In a trance-like state, you try to wipe yourself clean of impurities, hoping to be pure as freshly fallen snow. The fabric of your shirt is as drenched as you are from the frantic efforts. Thin material clings to you, as does the hair on either side of your face.

You turn the faucet off.

Sinking to the ground, you wish your legs wouldn’t betray you as they do now. It’s a miracle that you even managed to make it here on your own strength. The remnants of your energy have bloomed and withered away, your body no longer capable of supporting its own weight. Tears join in a union with the tap water. It comes out at once. Sobs wrack throughout your body, your shoulders shaking and head hung low. There is but one question that haunts your mind. A question that can no longer go ignored, but when answered, will change the trajectory of everything you’ve come to known. Everything you’ve taught yourself to cope and survive.

When did you stop hating him?

There’s no singular moment that carries the answer, preferable it may be. It was an unobtrusive, slow yet steady descent into apathy. Giorno cornered you, yes, but that was the extent of it. He backed you up against the cliff and stopped there. It was your decision, and yours alone, to make the blind leap. Searching your memories, you look to find the day your animosity faded, your sense of self dying alongside it.

Was it the strained yet casual talks in the morning? The luxurious gifts of diamond-studded jewelry, luxurious outfits, and exotic flowers? When you no longer flinched when overheating his approaching footsteps? Maybe it’s all of that, and more, times you couldn’t bring yourself to acknowledge yet. All you know is that somewhere along the line, the flames of your disgust flickered, leaving no signs that it ever even existed but ashes. Without noticing what you were doing, your fingers travel to your bottom lip, eyes closing. This would be what served as the final nail in the coffin.

The evening had been a normal one.

Normal. That you had described it that way should’ve served as an omen. It had been just after an uneventful dinner. Giorno promised to take you on a walk through the outdoor gardens, an invitation not so easily rejected. Most if not all of your days were spent in the confines of four walls. The moon, which had just taken the place of the sun, illuminated winding cobblestone paths. Shrubbery of every kind sparsely decorated either side, a visual delight, pale moonlight casting an ethereal glow on each branch. You trailed behind Giorno in a silence he allowed. Lost in thought, taken with the beauty of nature.

It was you who broke the silence. A foolish mistake. “Giorno?”

He turned and looked at you, slightly taken aback that you called for him so easily. That had to have been one of the few instances where his name left your lips, a sweet sound he committed to memory. Mundane as it was for you, Giorno interpreted it as something greater, a welcome evolution. He nodded to signal that you hold his undivided attention. A thought that was on your mind surfaces.

“I’ve been thinking about… things I can do,” you licked your lips, tentative. Giorno eyed your body language closely, and you felt the weight of his stare. “Gardening is what I always come back to. I’d like to grow something, as a way to pass the time.”

Your sentence died out toward the end and turned into a whisper. What a difference there was in your posture compared to his, you noticed. He never doubted himself. Never showed signs of apprehension, always crystal clear on the decisions he needed to make. Where you trod lightly, he went forward with confidence. Silly as it may be, you envied that aspect of Giorno, an aspect that elevated him to a place just out of reach. You wondered if showing more conviction would get you the results you wanted from him.

“I’ll have it arranged so that you can. Was there something, in particular, you’d like to grow?” Giorno asked without missing a beat. Your heart leaped in your chest, encouraged by how well he received your request, and in record time too. It should’ve served as a premonition. At the time, you were more than pleased, and subconsciously took a step towards him. A step closer to your undoing.

“Well, it’d need to be in season… maybe carrots and cauliflower. I’d like to plant things that I could cook later.”

“That’s a good place for a beginner to start. Though I must admit, I never took you for someone who’d be interested in gardening. What brought this on?”

It’s no use. Giorno, tactful as he may be, could see through you as if you were glass. You shifted your weight from one leg to the other. Lying would serve no purpose, he’d notice it. The truth is a frightening concept. How he might interpret your words left room for anxiety. You knew that standing there with sealed lips would be incriminating, and rushed out an unfiltered answer.

“I want to go outside more.”

He peered down at you through thick, blonde eyelashes. Giorno took a step closer to your person, and he frowned at the way you flinched from the sudden movement. The interaction left a bitter taste in his mouth that he sought to be rid of. To understand and deal with a person are two sides of the same coin, both a talent he’s cultivated well. Giorno’s calculating eyes met yours and never left.

“[First]...” your name rolled off his tongue like silk, smooth and deceptively soft. “I’ll see what I can do to make it work. You know I’m partial to anything you ask of me.”

Giorno’s tenderness was palpable, and you ate it up. The illusion of freedom blinded you to reality. He raised his hand and hovered it right above your cheek. Giorno awaited your reaction and tested the waters. When you offered no signs of resistance, he cupped your face. You noticed how his fingers trembled. This unabashed affection was the first of its kind. New to you and him both. You stared up at him, as your heart hammered against your ribcage. A touch that should’ve made you recoil did nothing of the sort. You welcomed it and treasured how human it made you feel.

The change had been so subtle, that you missed it in a blink of the eye. His face grew closer. You could catch the different notes of his signature cologne -- sandalwood, leather, spice -- and the coarse texture of his suit which rubbed against your skin. Giorno was so near, that you felt his warm breath against your face. He looked at you through lidded eyes and sought to close the gap between you. Your mind was a flurry of thoughts and emotions, muddled by the unexpected events. For all of Giorno’s shortcomings, he had never touched you so boldly until then. And you had never let him. There you stood, frozen like a statue, allowing him to do as he pleased.

His lips met yours.

It didn’t register at first. Everything had happened so fast, that your mind struggled to keep up. Giorno’s kiss was chaste, a method to test the waters. To test you. He tasted of the Tartufo di Pizzo he ate earlier, rich and saccharine. When was the last time you were this close to another? That you felt a human’s loving touch, basked in the warmth of their body? You can’t remember for sure. It must’ve been a long time ago, a time before Giorno Giovanna. The moment ended as soon as it arrived. At your lack of reciprocation, he went to pull back. God, it would’ve been so simple if that’s how it ended. If that served as the final chapter. All you had wanted was to feel human again, not like a glorified prisoner in gold bars. That’s the only plausible reason, right? The meager distance between you two was closed again, though it was your lips that met his. Giorno let out a noise of shock, an emotion you were never able to draw out of him until then.

Where he had been soft, you were unrelenting. You kissed him with primal urgency and wove your hands into the strands of his golden hair to pull him close. Giorno was more than pleased to let you do so. The initial stupor wore off, and he matched your fervor with equal tenacity. You’re not sure what exactly was on your mind then. You didn’t know why you did what you did, other than to distract yourself for a moment. How gratifying it had felt then. Giorno held your face in one hand, while the other traveled down to your waist. That eager touch served to pull you back into reality. Almost as if the clock had struck midnight, the spell was broken, and you were left with the undignified truth.

You realized what you were doing. Who it was you had just been kissing, and you staggered back. Eyes wide as a doe, unsure of who the blame was to be placed upon. Giorno had to choose to loosen his grip on you, and you felt every ounce of his hesitance. Those all-knowing, omniscient eyes opened, clearly perplexed. His eyebrows furrowed and lips parted to speak. Before he had the chance to question you, you scampered back into the house. Giorno stood there and watched you depart. His soul stirred. It could’ve been your imagination, but you swore you saw a flash of gold behind you.

Which leads to now.

Seasons change, as do feelings. A fickle thing emotions are. They take the form of liquid, reshaping, and redistributing themselves according to their environment. Never did you envision your loathing transforming into… no, you won’t say it. You can’t. Plans for the rest of the day are up in the air. Maybe it’d do you some good to get rest. Holding this thought in mind, you will yourself to get up, legs unsteady. You make your way out of the master bathroom that connects to your private suite, a luxury that Giorno bestowed. Each step feels heavier than the last. A King-sized bed awaits, silk linens dipping underneath your weight. Sleeping forever sounds lovely right about now. How can you ever face him again? What does he think of you now? Worst of all, why do you care? Throwing yourself onto the bed, you shut your eyes, willing your mind to go elsewhere. Anywhere but that disaster earlier. The chance to do so never comes, much to your chagrin.

There’s a knock on the door.

You freeze, assuming the worst. Heart pounding violently, you search for an explanation, that might explain the person at your door. Maybe it’s the mouse-like staff that tends to Giorno’s estate in the shadows. Rarely do they interact with you, likely at his behest, though it isn’t impossible he’d send them to check up on you. That hope melts when a deep, composed voice speaks up, a voice that you know too well.

“[First]? Are you decent?” Giorno probes, his voice muffled by the closed door. You glance down at your outfit, knowing he’ll have a fair share of questions at your current state. It’d be easier to avoid the confrontation entirely. Easier, but not plausible, you bitterly think. Lord knows he has eyes everywhere. Lying to get around this might serve as a point of contention in the future. So you sigh, swallowing down the lump in your throat. Straightening your shoulders, you place your hands on your lap, hoping to appear somewhat collected.

“Yes, I am.” You confirm after a moment's deliberation. His response is immediate.

“Can I come in?” What an amusing question. Giorno could do whatever he pleases, having the locks to every room in this estate on his person. It’s you who is subject to his every will and whim, you who doesn’t have a true choice in the matter. A thin veil of courtesy hides the viper who waits to strike at your heel. Might as well get this over with, you decide. It’s either now or later.

“You can.”

Giorno opens the door at your confirmation, and you hear the keys jingling like funeral tolls. He’s well put together to the point of frustration, hair set in place perfectly, suit without a wrinkle. You sometimes wonder if Giorno Giovanna is even human and not a deity. Unfortunately, you’ve yet to conclude and are leaning towards the latter. As you expected, his eyes temporarily wander to your soaked appearance, lips pulling into a tight frown. It takes a moment to realize how he might interpret this look. Not to say the thought has never crossed your mind, but he doesn’t need to know that.

“I… I, uh, wasn’t trying to drown myself,” you stutter out with an unconvincing smile. He looks to the ajar bathroom door, and back to you with a raised eyebrow. You clear your throat. “You can check yourself. I was freshening up in the sink.”

“I’ll take your word for it.” Giorno exhales, adjusting the cuff of his suit. He looks around your sparsely decorated room. Any onlooker might wonder if someone lives here at all. The room is immaculate, no clothes were strewn about, not an item out of it’s assigned place. You realize it’s been a long time since Giorno’s been in your room. Months, even. When you were first brought here, he’d explained to a distraught you what was happening. Speaking about protection, your well-being, how he could take such excellent care of you. At the time the grave words didn’t sink in. You had no idea what turbulent future awaited you then. Is Giorno thinking the same thing? If he is, he doesn’t mention it, returning his focus to you.

“About earlier,” he pauses when you wince. Giorno gives you a second to gather yourself before continuing. “I wanted to apologize. It was inappropriate of me to assume your feelings.”

Assume your feelings? What does he mean by that? The confession stuck out like a sore thumb. You uncross and cross your legs on the other side, unable to sit still. Sure, you’ve grown to be passive in his presence. Even you can acknowledge this. That’s all it is, passivity, not… acceptance. Or worse, reciprocation. Months of combative behavior taught you how exhausting hatred is. Giorno proved that no speech, act, or plead of yours would sway him. You’d have better luck convincing a brick wall. This wording troubles you greatly, and Giorno picks up on it.

He continues. “I misinterpreted your body language and acted without thinking. I saw what I wanted to see.”

Giorno doesn’t make mistakes like that. He’s many things: your kidnapper and sole provider, a merciless Don to those who stand in his way, and a man borderline capable of reading the thoughts of others. You can’t picture a world where Giorno slips up in reading other’s moods. What point would there be in lying to you about this? He saw what he wanted to see, this line repeats in your mind like a mantra. There was an undeniable reason for its inclusion. To make you feel better. An out, a silver lining to keep everything as it was. Giorno didn’t make an error in his judgment, you realize, face paling. I… I do love...

“That’s all I came here to say,” Giorno informs, observing how your face twists from your thoughts. He knows it’s due to him. “I’m sorry for disturbing your evening.”

It feels like arctic water is crashing down on you, frigid and fraying your nerves. Giorno pivots on his heel and turns to leave. You know you should let him. Taking this outstretched hand would be simpler, likely even better for your sake. It’s painful how your stomach churns, how every breath is more difficult than the last. This anguish is a deeply rooted one. Too personal and oppressive to withstand any longer. Let him leave, you think. Just let this be over with.

When have you ever listened to reason?

“Giorno,” you call to him, as you did earlier, voice somehow more delicate than it was then. He turns around, face never betraying his thoughts. Giorno’s impossible to get a read on. Clenching the frame of your bed, your gaze drops to your lap. “You… you didn’t misinterpret anything.”

Blood rushes to your cheeks, and you bite your lower lip. “What I mean to say is… it’s fine.”

You gather enough fragments of confidence to raise your head. Turquoise eyes, rich and expansive as the Tyrrhenian sea, pierce through with an intensity Giorno’s never used on you. Your mind goes blank, and you forget how to properly breathe. He breaks the stun-lock first. It’s rare that you ever see a genuine smile on Giorno’s face, but there’s no denying this one is. He’s quick to cover his mouth with the back of his hand. You feel an odd sense of loss at this.

“I’m glad to hear it.” With that, he retires for the evening, bidding you a final goodnight. Giorno closes the door silently to not disturb you. As per the routine, you hear locks going into place, one after the other. You lose count. Footsteps echo down the hallway, signaling his departure. You’re doubtful Giorno himself is going to sleep, he’s a willing victim to late nights, and can only assume he wanted to offer you time to think.

So you are left here on your lonesome.

Not quite in heaven, and not quite in hell.

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themurphyzone · 3 years

Text

PatB Oneshot: Every Rose Has Thorns and Petals

Summary: Brain’s plan is simple: create a Valentine card with a message that the world should adore him as their new ruler. But he needs extra help in coming up with a catchy message to rein in the consumers for the outer cover. And who better to help than the expert of all things amour?

AN: I decided to see if I could write a good Suavo. Enjoy! Warning for terribly cheesy flirting. I don’t typically write this genre XD

This borrows from the HC that Pinky can still do the Suavo persona.

Written for Valentine's Day/Suavo Sunday. I regret everything.

AO3 Link

At last, a new plan came to fruition! With Valentine’s Day looming upon them with its chocolate-coated fangs and sickly sweet aroma, people would be flocking to grocery stores everywhere to purchase giant teddy bears they could barely carry around and heart-shaped boxes of gourmet chocolate. But most lucrative of all, they would buy Valentine cards with the most obnoxious lovestruck messages that were far cheesier than Pinky’s cheesecake.

Everything clicked into place. The slightly larger than average dimensions of a Valentine’s card. Various red and pink hues for the envelopes. Colorful images with hearts, roses, and Pinky on the front cover (for Pinky met all of the scientific criteria that triggered one’s protective instincts). And on the inside, an image of Brain standing on the world in royal regalia with a message declaring that all the world shall adore him as their new leader.

But there was a single, glaring flaw to his otherwise brilliant plan.

He could not come up with a ridiculous phrase for the outside cover. It had to be eye-catching, humorous, or corny enough to grab a customer’s attention. He stared at the smiling picture of Pinky for several minutes, then gave in.

Pinky was the expert in all things ridiculous after all.

“Life is the road I wanna keep going! Love is a river and I wanna keep going ooonnnn!” Pinky sang along to his playlist, leading a Barbie doll in a tender waltz.

And it was best to interrupt before Pinky’s playlist reached My Heart Will Go On. That sappy 90s love ballad was on there. He was not striking the King of the World pose until he was actually king of the world, but that assertion hadn’t gotten through Pinky’s cotton-stuffed head yet.

Brain grabbed the prototype card and pencil, marching up to the windowsill where Pinky and Barbie danced under the evening sky. The sun lowered, the moon rose, and the first twinkling stars poked out, signifying the beginning of another night.

The phone was propped against a wall, and Brain smacked the image of Anastasia and Dmitri dancing to stop the song as he passed by. Pinky continued to hum, dipping Barbie low enough that her blonde hair touched the windowsill. His eyes were half-lidded, tail swishing to an invisible beat. Though there was no music, his rhythm was steady and his feet never missed a step.

It was mesmerizing. Pinky danced with all the grace of a professional ballerina.

He pricked his finger on a sharp point of the prototype card, and the poke brought Brain back to reality. Right. No distractions.

“Hiya, Brain! Zort!”

Dear Archimedes there were otherworldly blue eyes right in front of his face.

Startled, Brain leapt back and swung his pencil defensively. There was a muffled narf as the eraser end went into Pinky’s mouth. Once the initial shock passed, Pinky giggled and nibbled on the eraser, several rubbery shavings poking out between his teeth.

Brain took a deep breath, trying to calm his too-fast heartbeat.

“Quit slobbering on my erasers, Pinky,” Brain snapped. He removed his pencil from Pinky’s mouth, wrinkling his nose at the saliva-coated eraser. He tossed it aside, and the pencil skittered across the counter and onto the floor.

“But they taste so good!” Pinky licked his lips. “Especially with a pinch of dryer lint. That way you get fluff and chewiness in one single fantastic bite!”

Sometimes he truly worried for the state of Pinky’s digestive tract. For now, it was best to change the topic entirely. “As much as I’d love to debate the intricacies of your exotic cuisine, I require some of your eccentric expertise for my latest plan,” Brain said, setting the prototype card on the counter.

Pinky’s tail and ears perked up. A predictable reaction, but reliable all the same.

While Pinky put Barbie away, Brain retrieved a new pencil. There were few writing utensils that weren’t chewed up by a bored employee or Pinky for fun, and it wouldn’t be long before Brain would have to acquire more.

“I gotta help Brain now, Barbie. Thanks for sharing a dance with me! Those ballroom dance classes are really paying off!” Pinky chirped, waving to the inanimate Barbie, who now sat in a pink plastic convertible next to a shirtless Ken doll. He peeked inside the card and clasped his hands together, holding them against his cheek dreamily. “Awww, Brain! This is gonna be so romantic!”

“The very atmosphere I intend to create with these mass-produced cards, Pinky,” Brain replied. “However, while I have all the elements of your typical Valentine card alongside an additional message that will aid us in our conquest, I haven’t worked out one essential component yet.”

He closed the card and tapped the empty speech bubble next to Pinky’s image.

Pinky tilted his head. “You haven’t figured out how to make single people buy your cards yet?”

Drat. He hadn’t considered those outliers.

“Then we’ll just have to infiltrate the postal service,” Brain said, mentally congratulating himself on correcting that error quickly. “But before we implement the plan, I need a Valentine phrase for this speech bubble. A saying that will entice the average infatuated consumer and hook them into purchasing my cards alone. And since you lean heavily toward the sentimental and saccharine…well, this is where I require your assistance.”

“The sentimental and the saccharine?” Pinky echoed. “I don’t think I’ve heard of that soap opera, Brain. What channel is it on?”

Brain opened his notebook and found an empty page, poised to jot down Pinky’s suggestions. “The real life channel. Don’t be concerned about missing it, Pinky. It’s on 24/7 all year long. But I digress. The sooner I find a phrase, the sooner we’ll have the world!”

Pinky tapped his foot in thought, the tip of his tongue poking out like he truly believed protruding tongues had the power to magically grant ideas. For all Brain knew, Pinky probably believed that.

Then Pinky snapped his fingers. “I got it! How ‘bout ‘be mine, valentine’?”

“Too cliché,” Brain muttered. A million Valentine cards would already have similar phrasing. They didn’t have time to seize control of a greeting card factory. “Not unique enough.”

Although the valentine bit wasn’t particularly directed toward him, his grip on the pencil slackened, the tip leaving a graphite smudge along the margins. He quickly turned the pencil around and erased it, hoping Pinky didn’t catch onto his brief moment of inattention.

Fortunately, Pinky didn’t notice. “Alrighty then. Hmmm…you’re the sour cream to my cheese-slathered potato?”

“…I’ll save it for a last resort.”

Well, he asked for unique. But sour cream didn’t particularly invoke strong Valentine feelings. Idioms that involved sweet foods with enough sugar to induce diabetes in an elephant would be better, and he made a quick note to the side.

“I turtle-y adore you?” Pinky suggested, his blue eyes sparkling accordingly.

Brain felt a light blush settling over his cheeks, and he rubbed his fur to rid himself of the mortifying feeling. “Doesn’t match your picture. And no animal puns unless they involve mice.”

Pinky rubbed his chin, not one to be easily deterred. “There’s gotta be some good ones on the Internet.”

“Don’t trouble yourself, Pinky,” Brain sighed. He sat cross-legged on the counter, massaging his forehead to intercept any headaches before they began. “Figured we should’ve gone with the photobooth plan. It’s your fault for influencing my subconscious with your caterwauling over The Princess Bride’s movie adaptation.”

“Troz! I’ll have you know Princess Buttercup and Westley have great chemistry!” Pinky pouted.

Brain rolled his eyes. “Please. They’re about as compatible as two noble gases.”

Pinky went quiet after that. Whether he’d gone off into the imaginary world of talking cheeses or taken unusually great offense on the lead couple’s behalf, Brain wasn’t sure. But the silence obliged, and Brain took the opportunity to ponder their next course of action.

Take a risk and use one of Pinky’s earlier suggestions? Scrap the plan entirely and pull one from storage? Seek a second opinion?

Then Pinky gasped, his tail pointing high in the air like an inverted exclamation point.

“Brain, are you pondering what I’m pondering?” Pinky asked, gripping Brain’s shoulders in excitement.

Brain leaned back, supporting himself on the palms of his hands. “We break out the Feldman disguises and ask Mr. Sultana for his opinion on what a hypothetical Valentine card should say?”

“I’m sure he’s got a bunch of good ones, but that’s not it,” Pinky said. “Actually, I oughta slip into something more…in-character. I’ll be right back!”

Pinky skipped away, humming as he went over to his dress-up box in the corner of their cage. He pulled a divider around himself so that all Brain could see was a shadowy silhouette rummaging through clothing and accessories.

Brain continued to ponder, though no feasible ideas were coming to him. He closed his eyes, shutting out all visual forms of distraction. He listened to Pinky dressing in the cage, but it was more white noise than a true hindrance.

Five minutes later, he still had nothing. But there was something…different.

A tantalizing scent. Not overly sharp, though just light enough that he couldn’t identify it with confidence. And he wanted to know more.

It wasn’t fruit or soap. Nor was it vanilla, like the scented candles Pinky loved so much.

Something smooth snaked its way under his nose, brushing the fur above his lips. The scent was closer now. His nose twitched.

“ACHOO!”

Startled by the force of his sudden sneeze, Brain’s eyes flew open. He rubbed his nose to wipe off the lingering sensation, staring down at Pinky’s long tail, which sat unassumingly in his lap. The tip was wrapped around the stem of a small red rose.

The tail lifted, rubbing against the fur under Brain’s chin. Brain felt his cheeks heat up again, and he quickly batted the offending appendage away.

“Pinky, you’re not helping my state of-“ Brain began, ready to launch into a verbal tirade on how he needed to think and if Pinky wasn’t going to help then he could make like a mitotic cell and split…and then he saw a very familiar, perhaps all too-familiar, lavender tuxedo with an overstuffed dark purple…something underneath.

He couldn’t tell if it was a shirt, vest, or pincushion. A gold button glinted in the middle of Pinky’s chest.

Gulping, Brain knew the mysterious article of clothing was the least of his concerns. He forced himself to look up, gaze raking past the slender neck and toward half-lidded, coy blue eyes. A sophisticated mustache poked out from each side of Pinky’s muzzle. And he was genteel, charismatic…

Suave.

Pinky’s ability to play a character to perfection never ceased to astound him. He still remembered? Brain had long destroyed the Personalitron and its blueprints, deeming them unnecessary and cumbersome.

“Pardonnez-moi, you with the giant head and marshmallow body are seeking the passionate advice of I, the great Pinky…Suavvvo-“ he drawled every syllable with that odd French accent, r’s rolling off his tongue like smooth butter “-for your…ah, Saint Valentine card, no?”

Fu—choose your words wisely—I mean, dear name of a historical contributor to the scientific or mathematical field who I can’t identify properly at this time.

“I fail to see how playing dress-up is going to help with this conundrum, Pinky Suavo.” Brain stood up and crossed his arms. He wasn’t about to let the Suavo persona sway him. He was the Brain, and he bowed to no one.

Exert control over the situation. Yes. That’s what he needed.

Suavo plucked the rose from his tail between two practiced fingers, inhaling its scent deeply. Where did he even get that rose from? The lab wasn’t growing flora for any reason, nor did any scientist have the green thumb to care for anything so fragile.

“Oh, but love is always…how did you say, a conundrum, is it not?” he purred, and Brain scowled. But Suavo was unperturbed. “One may pluck the petals from a pretty flower and ask if one loves or loves not, yet how will one know if they ask the flower and not the lover? Oh, I do not know.”

His voice dipped into a lower, softer register, and a strange sensation traveled up Brain’s spine. Though the riddle seemed directed at him, he wasn’t in the mood to unravel any cryptic meanings.

Just like before, Suavo’s magnetism was…hypnotizing. Like he had no choice but to do what Pinky Suavo said. And wasn’t that ironic? He, the Brain, as the hapless follower instead of the commanding leader.

Suavo appeared oblivious to Brain’s internal dilemma. He simply set the rose back into his tail and twirled one curled end of the mustache around his finger, humming a dreamy, sentimental song to himself. He was waiting on Brain in the most irritating fashion possible.

But if he wanted this plan to work, he’d just have to tolerate Pinky’s attempt at resolving his predicament.

“Pinky Suavo,” Brain sighed, forcing all his pride back. Suavo turned to him, his eyes still in that odd half-lidded position. “Is that overstuffed pincushion actually giving you ideas for the card?”

“Of course, mon ami.” Suavo slicked his ears and fur tuft back with a smooth, graceful stroke of his hand. “For it is he, who is I, who is the connoisseur of…ammooooouuuur.”

Brain grabbed his notepad and pencil, his stomach doing odd backflips like butterflies had somehow burrowed their way into his flesh and laid eggs there. He was not paying attention to Suavo’s hand movements. No, the eye was just naturally drawn to movement. That’s how it worked.

Besides, he was looking at the same being who once managed to get all his fingers and tail tangled up in a complicated cat’s cradle.

Suavo clicked his tongue, deftly plucking the items out of Brain’s grip. “No, no, you silly mouse. You cannot experience amour through pen and paper alone. You must feel it, see it, hear it. For it is everywhere and anywhere you search…if only you would use those big ears of yours.”

Brain gritted his teeth and jumped for his supplies, but Suavo simply held them out of reach with one long arm. All Brain could manage was a tiny hop. It wasn’t getting him anywhere.

So he took a deep breath and forced himself to relax.

“I’m listening, Pinky Suavo,” Brain said, hoping he sounded at least a little cordial. “I believe the colloquial is, I’m all ears?”

A pleased smile flitted across Suavo’s face, his arm lowering.

Perfect.

Then Brain threw himself forward, digging his hands and feet into Suavo’s clothing and hauling himself towards the notepad and pencil. Fortunately, it wasn’t hard to grip. Suavo stumbled a bit, but he refused to yield. Brain grabbed a fabric fold on Suavo’s right shoulder. He was so close-

-and a red nose pushed into his own. Warm, mint-scented breath tickled the fur on his face.

“You know, it is more, ah, polite to take a mouse to dinner before you begin climbing him, is it not?” Suavo crooned.

Brain’s ears flopped against his back, a warm sensation sweeping through his body. His clammy paws lost their grip on Suavo’s clothing, and he would’ve fallen entirely if Suavo’s free arm hadn’t wrapped around his waist and secured him with a strong yet gentle grip.

In hindsight, perhaps his attempt at reclaiming his belongings was ill-thought out.

Perhaps it was for the best that the arm was covered by fabric, but at the same time, some irrational thought of wanting Pinky’s fur against his own wormed its way into his mind.

Suavo set the notepad and pen down with care, dipping Brain in the process. Brain clutched the fabric tightly, but it was unnecessary. Suavo’s embrace was strong enough to prevent him from landing on his head. Then Suavo straightened up, once again plucking the rose from his tail and holding it next to Brain.

“Oh, now this is…magnifique,” Suavo murmured, his eyes darting from the rose to Brain’s face. Though Brain tried to maintain eye contact to make his displeasure known, his resolve was quickly crumbling away. Surely it was the close proximity, the thumb stroking his fur, that was picking apart all rational thought and leaving some hormone-driven creature behind?

“What?” Brain asked, and he inwardly cringed. His voice wasn’t working properly. He’d meant to sound more demanding than that pathetic excuse of a question.

“Your eyes, mon ami, are just a few shades lighter this rose,” Suavo said. Brain stared at him in disbelief. Comparing eyes to flowers, or worse, gemstones, was just ridiculous.

And your comparison of Pinky’s aesthetically pleasing eyes to the wild blue yonder above isn’t?

Brain ignored the contemptuous voice. That was completely different. The sky was neither a flower nor a gemstone, and therefore it wasn’t off-limits. Besides, it was a thought for him and him alone. It’s not like anyone else was going to hear it.

“You are but a deer mouse in the headlights. Yet there is no need to hide under a thorny layer,” Suavo hummed, tilting his head curiously. Deliberately. How strange. Even the slightest movement was mesmerizing. His fingers traveled up the flower stem, until his hand rested underneath the petals, supporting the tiny rose in the palm of his hand. “A rosebush may scratch and prick, yet the great Pinky Suavo cannot be swayed. For there’s a pretty bloom hidden in the darkness, and he is who moi shall…shall…NARF!”

Shocked by the return of the nonsensical exclamation, Brain lost his hold on Pinky Suavo’s clothing. He fell onto the counter surface with a pained groan. The hard material wasn’t doing wonders for the bends in his tail.

Something fluttered against his nose, causing Brain to sneeze again. He removed the offending object, and found himself staring down at the rose he’d been teased with. If he ignored the heavy-handed rose imagery Suavo kept spouting, it was rather adequate for a specimen.

“Narf! Zort! Poit! Egad!” Pinky laughed uncontrollably between his usual tics, uttering them at such a fast rate that they started to blend together like a tongue twister. “Ooh, I haven’t—troz! Haven’t said narf in a long time! But it’s poit—it’s okay cause you needed my help!”

Idiot.

Brain sighed and pushed himself to a standing position, then placed the rose on his notepad so Pinky could reclaim it later.

Now that he thought about it, Pinky hadn’t said any of his favorite syllables in his Suavo persona. Of course, they’d been replaced by stupid love poetry and gratuitous French, but the narfs and poits and zorts were rather refreshing.

Odd. He never thought he’d actually miss Pinky’s…unique diction.

“Pinky, were you actively suppressing your usual speech patterns in your strange form of assistance?” Brain asked. He couldn’t help his curiosity.

“Zort! Oh Brain, I’m not nearly as good as suppressing things like you are!” Pinky’s chortles continued as Brain grabbed his wrist and led him straight to the water bottle in their cage. “Besides—narf! Besides, I had to stay in character!”

“Remind me to never have you play a villain for any future plans revolving around cinema,” Brain grumbled.

Pinky’s tail happily flicked against Brain’s own. Though the imbecile was just swishing it around mindlessly, the brief physical contact suddenly brought back that very odd, warm sensation.

Curse this heightened sensitivity! It’s only a principle of thermodynamics and heat transfer!

“Brain, are you okay? Poit,” Pinky asked as Brain made him sit down in front of the water bottle. “You’re all woozy and whirlywindy. And white and red all over like a newspaper!”

“I’m f-fine,” Brain said. He was absolutely not relying on Pinky for balance. “Just drink, Pinky. And take off those silly clothes when you’re done.”

Pinky stared, not comprehending anything Brain said, but that was normal for him. Then he started to laugh, and only then did Brain realize he needed to watch his word choice, especially around a certain someone, because of course his fluff-filled mind would misconstrue it.

“Not like that!” Brain spat.

Pinky tipped onto his back, legs kicking upwards as his high-pitched laughter continued to assault Brain’s ears.

For the sake of his own sanity, he left Pinky to his own devices and stormed over to the nearest sink. He pushed on the tap for cold water until he’d created his own miniature waterfall, then hopped right in. He welcomed the cascade over his body.

As long as it pushed his homeostasis in the opposite direction, he was fine with resembling a drowned rat for now.

o-o-o-o-o

The plan failed before it ever took off. Brain had been so distracted that he’d failed to notice the lab was completely out of colored ink, rendering the copy machines completely useless.

He’d gone with the ‘you’re the sour cream to my potatoes’ message for the front cover, formatting it into the speech bubble in an elegant cursive font. Though it wasn’t conventional by any means, he simply considered it again since no other suggestions were forthcoming.

But at the same time, part of him wasn’t keen on allowing the masses to lay eyes on the Valentine card.

It seemed special. Unexplainably so.

“Brain?” Pinky called. His verbal tics had long gone back to their normal frequency. “Aren’t we taking over the world tonight?”

Brain shook his head, relieved that he finally had control over his body again. “Not tonight, Pinky. I’m afraid I’ve been prematurely thwarted by the lack of inventory in this lab.”

“Oh, you don’t have to be afraid, Brain,” Pinky said. Gone were Suavo’s clothing and mustache, and Pinky’s lean, muscular arms were on full display as he folded them across his chest. “I’ll protect you from Tory.”

It was an unnecessary gesture, but Brain couldn’t help but be touched by the admission all the same. Brain made a show of carefully placing the card into storage, just so he could distract himself momentarily.

When he finished his task, he found Pinky holding an elegant paper rose, crafted meticulously with purple tissue paper. A light blush settled over Brain’s cheeks as he accepted the gift from Pinky, whose blue eyes shone brightly as Brain ran his fingers over the soft petals.

“Thank you, Pinky,” Brain said gratefully, and he resisted the urge to rush off immediately and place the paper rose with his globe keychain, another gift from his dearest friend.

“You’re welcome!” Pinky smiled, and Brain’s heart beat faster. Then Pinky’s gaze flicked to the TV screen, and Brain figured he was about to be roped into watching a cheesy love story unfold. “Brain, can we watch Beauty and the Beast please? With those special Valentine M&M’s and chocolate-coated popcorn? I saw a whole bunch in the kitchen! Narf!”

Well…he could’ve suggested worse. At least this one was tolerable.

And it’s been a while since they’d watched a movie together.

“Get everything set up, Pinky,” Brain ordered. “I’ll join you when I’m finished with my own tasks.”

Pinky saluted and scampered into the kitchen, grabbing the rose he’d held in his Suavo persona along the way. He sang at the top of his lungs, though he’d forgotten most of the actual words and replaced them with a series of narfs and portmanteaus. Once Pinky was sufficiently distracted, Brain moved his notepad and pen over to the TV, then laid the paper rose over it.

He heard the crinkle of a bag followed by the sound of M&M’s being poured into a bowl. Pinky would be back any minute.

Brain knocked his head against the side of a wall.

Calm yourself. Pinky believes pebbles are precious gifts. You’ll be fine. Probably.

Slowly, he approached the drawer where he’d kept his hidden present. Sifting through several sheets of paper covered with complex formulas he’d deliberately placed in there to ward off Pinky, he found the sunflower pen he’d carefully hidden towards the back.

It wasn’t exactly…traditional for a Valentine’s gift. Simple blue ink with a green body and tipped with a bright yellow sunflower.

But it was bright. And colorful. Like Pinky.

More importantly, it was practical.

Brain’s ears twitched, and he heard the whirring of the VCR as Pinky popped in the movie. Brain debated leaving the pen and presenting it after the movie, but he didn’t want to procrastinate either. Otherwise it would be impossible to enjoy their activity.

Well, he could just drop it in Pinky’s lap. And snatch up some popcorn so his actions wouldn’t be too conspicuous. He climbed out of the drawer, holding the pen behind his back.

A preview for The Little Mermaid began to play. Pinky was enraptured by the animated marine animals. He seemed so happy.

Maybe he should reconsider. Valentine items would be discounted next week. He could just hold off and give a belated…what was he thinking? Valentine’s was just another day to turn profit!

The paper rose was sitting right there. No…Valentine’s meant something to Pinky. Like Christmas.

“Goody, you’re back, Brain!” Pinky cheered, stuffing two pink M&M’s into his mouth. The large bowl beside him was overflowing with chocolate. “It’s not raining inside, but I love your parasol! Where’d you buy it?”

A parasol?

He glanced up at the sunflower. Oh. So there was a resemblance to a parasol, he supposed. If one viewed it at a certain angle, that is.

“It’s a pen. Not a parasol. Take it,” Brain said, holding out the sunflower pen.

Pinky didn’t take it.

Instead, he made a joyful noise and crushed Brain with a flying embrace. Brain dropped the pen in surprise as Pinky’s entire body curled around him, feet off the ground. Brain had to support all his weight, Pinky’s warm fur brushing against his own.

“I love it! Loveitloveitloveit! Thanks, Brain!” Pinky squealed, happy tears forming at the corners of his eyes. “Happy Valentine’s Day!”

“You’re welcome, Pinky,” Brain murmured as Pinky nuzzled his cheek. “Now get off. I require my lungs. And heart. And my digestive system.”

Pinky didn’t get off until the Disney fanfare to herald the beginning of the movie began to play. Then he quieted down immediately, rolling the sunflower pen so that it rested across his lap.

“…happy Valentine’s Day,” Brain whispered, nibbling on a red M&M.

Pinky smiled back, teeth flecked with bits of chocolate. He shushed Brain, not wanting him to interrupt the opening narration.

As the enchanted rose appeared onscreen, Brain stroked the soft tissue paper of Pinky’s beautiful creation. Then he set it aside and reached for some popcorn.

His world was here. And there was nothing more he wanted.

Fun fact: the original name for this fic was going to be Suavo Valentino, but the current title was a last minute change cause somehow I just wrote a lot about roses.

Another change: The Princess Bride bit was originally a dig at High School Musical and how Disney Channel has bad romance in general, but since that was mid 2000s I changed it so this story could reasonably fit in the 90s.

Suavo’s lines...were interesting. I couldn’t stop laughing at how dumb some of them were though.

Brain’s got it bad here. Save him.

Are the roses corny? Yes. Do I care? Not really. Maybe. Possibly.

#pinky and the brain #patb fanfiction #pinky suavo #suavo sunday

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johannstutt413 · 3 years

Text

(requested by calligomiles)

“Good morning, Scavenger!” Provence and Grape sat down across from the Zalak at the end of the table, the large wolf on guard even as they crunched several bones in their mouth. “Got a minute?”

“Sure.” She didn’t sound terribly happy about it.

The Lupo smiled. “Great! What about tomorrow night?”

“...Yeah?” Another one of Provence’s outings, perhaps? “Going somewhere?”

“Actually, I’m asking for a friend. I was hoping to introduce you two.”

Oh. Well, that made sense - they’d already had their DTR, and the Sniper was dating the Doctor. What was she planning, though? “You know how I feel about chitchat.”

“That’s why I want you two to hang out! You’re both so quiet and broody.” Provence dodged a sunflower seed flicked at her. “Sorry, but seriously. I think you two will understand each other.”

“...Fine. Where?” She unwrapped a granola bar as she popped a few more sunflower seeds in her mouth.

The Sniper cheered, pumping her fist as Grape yipped. “Hey, don’t talk with your mouth full~ We’ll meet at that dive bar you told me about.”

“Just the four of us?” Scavenger replied to the questioning look with a shrug. “You, your friend, me, and the Doctor?”

“Oh, gotcha. He’s busy tonight, but I’ll probably have Grape with me still. Today’s their walking day. Isn’t that right?” Another yip, but this time followed by a bark.

The mercenary followed the wolf’s gaze, spotting another Lupo fast approaching. “Red.”

“Eeeek! Where?!” As she spun around to look, the counter-Lupo sprinted for the table- only to get her coat pinned to the table by a crossbow bolt. “Eh?”

“Wow. Good shot.”

Provence looked at the Zalak who’d complimented her. “That wasn’t me!”

“I know.” She grabbed her trash, pocketing the rest of her snacks. “See you for dinner.”

“Oh. Well, bye! See you tonight!” With that, the Sniper hopped onto her wolf’s back, and the two rode out of the cafeteria.

From across the cafeteria, in her hunters’ blind of a corner, another Sniper was disassembling her crossbow. A close call; if Red had reached her target, tonight’s casual meeting might’ve accidentally turned into a full-blown date…

A few hours later, Scavenger showed up to her favorite hole-in-the-wall and found the corner circle-bench with the conspicuous pair of purple fluff balls at it; there, she found Provence and Grape, as expected...and an Elafia whom she’d never seen before. “Evening.”

“Evening.” Firewatch’s reply barely reached the Zalak’s ears as she sat next to her - after all, she couldn’t sit in Grape’s spot.

“I got here early, so there’s appetizers coming any time now. Anyway!” Provence rubbed her hands together. “Scavenger, this is Firewatch. She’s one of the sharpest sharpshooters in Rhodes Island.”

A light bulb clicked in the Zalak’s mind. “That was you earlier.”

“It was.” Her eyes were swiveling around the restaurant, seemingly on the lookout for someone or something.

“Really? Thanks for helping me out there - if she’d gotten into my tail, I wouldn’t have been able to make it-” Mid-sentence, her phone began to chirp. “Oh, that’s the Doctor! I’ll be right back!” Grape followed the Lupo as she dashed outside.

The remaining pair didn’t say a word for a few pin-drop quiet moments, glancing at each other occasionally and locking eyes more than once. Eventually, a waitress arrived with a plate of appetizers and a notepad. “While I’m here, can I get you any drinks this evening?”

“Water,” Firewatch replied, giving their server a once-over before resuming her visual patrol.

“Still on the job?” Scavenger shrugged. “Bottle of crystal oat, warm.”

The server wrote “one water, one Scavenger Special” before flashing them a smile. “I’ll be right back with those.”

“That makes two of you,” the Zalak muttered, helping herself to some fried pickles.

“...She recognized you.” The Elafia noted as she took some appetizers for herself. “Provence said you come here often.”

She frowned. “She did, huh? Yeah, I do.”

“Does it help?”

“Help with that?” The frown turned into a glare, not at Firewatch but the seat across from them. “Did she tell you that, too?”

The Sniper shook her head. “She didn’t need to.”

“Hmmph. She said we’d understand each other. Know what she meant by that?” Scavenger had to wonder just how much this girl could actually see.

“Loss.” The word hung in the air, suspending time for a moment. “How many?”

The Zalak sighed. She should’ve ordered something stronger. “One. You?”

“Thirty-seven.” Each and every face passed across her mind’s eye, as they always did.

“A lot more, then.” The mercenary slid the tray away from her, further into the center of the table. “You win the contest.”

Firewatch was no longer looking around the restaurant; she’d found her target. “What was her name?”

“...Lyla.”

“Mmm.” The waitress from before chose that moment to bring them their drinks. “Thank you. One crystal oat, please.”

She blinked. “Sure thing. Is everything alright?”

“Yeah,” both replied, having resumed looking at each other.

“Alright, then.” Another few notes. “I’ll be back.”

Scavenger popped the top on her bottle with the steak knife they’d provided for anything but that. “Change your mind? No one else drinks this stuff.”

“I used to.” This time, the waitress came back almost immediately, and with a bottle opener.

“Gotcha.” She knew she wasn’t lying, but it was a weird coincidence. “Well, to living for the dead.”

The Elafia clinked her bottle with the Zalak’s. “To living for the dead.”

“Sorry about that!” A few minutes later, a flustered Provence returned with her wolf. “Oh, Firewatch, I didn’t know you drink.”

“Rarely,” she replied with a hiccup.

The mercenary smirked. “That’d be why, I’m guessing.”

“The bubbles *hic* always do this.” Firewatch shook her head. “Soda *hic* does the same thing.”

“That’s kinda cute, honestly,” the Lupo observed, glancing at the Zalak as she did.

Scavenger raised an eyebrow at her in return. “What?”

“Oh, nothing.” She turned to the Elafia, who was also giving her a look. “What?”

“Your *hic* shirt’s backwards.”

Provence looked down, eyes widening. “It is? The lights were on, how di- no it isn’t.”

“...Heh.” The avenger’s all-too brief chuckle was interrupted by another hiccup. “I knew it.”

“I-it was an emergency.” The Lupo looked over to Scavenger for backup.

All she got was another, longer chuckle. “He’s busy, huh?”

“L-look, it’s not like that, really!” The Zalak started laughing louder. “What’s so funny?”

“You’re so easy to tease *hic*,” Firewatch replied before finishing her bottle.

The mercenary shook her head, steadily calming down. “She really is. Happy with your matchmaking mission?”

“I should’ve stayed at his office.” That set the Elafia off, which caused Scavenger to start laughing again. “Was I right, at least?”

“Maybe,” she managed through her snickering as the avenger quietly dissolved in her corner.

The other Sniper leaned against Grape. “Good. Have you guys eaten yet? I’m starving.”

“Now that you mention it.” The Zalak glanced around, looking for their waitress. “Where is she, anyway?”

“Gossiping with the *hic* cook. Oh, it’s been a- *hic* -while.” Firewatch took a long drink of water to reset herself.

Scavenger waved her empty bottle around. “Yeah, same here. What was that about us being ‘mopey’ earlier, Prov?”

“I probably just missed it.” She shook her head. “This is a lot nicer, though. Oh, I hope she gets here soon.”

“She’s on her way. *yawn*” The Elafia blinked slowly; she’d had plenty to eat already.

The Lupo cocked her head. “Early shift today?”

“Just full.” The avenger looked at the Zalak’ carefully for a moment. “Scavenger?”

“Sure.” She slid closer so Firewatch could set her head on her shoulder.

Provence beamed. “Aww~”

“Well, if there were any doubts before.” The mercenary yawned, too. “Ah, damnit...I should probably call it a night. Long shift tomorrow.”

“Me, too,” the Sniper on her shoulder agreed, sliding an arm around hers.

Scavenger blushed. “I can take you home, I guess.”

“Thanks.” She opened her steadily-closing eyes to look at the Lupo across from her. “You, too.”

“Happy to help! I’ll cover the bill, you two go on ahead.”

The Zalak nodded, carefully helping Firewatch to her feet. “Thanks. See you around.”

“Yep, sure thing!” As the pair left the bar, Provence sighed. “Good - I didn’t want to order something here before my real date.”

The mercenary knew her way around the Island well enough to not need to ask where her date’s room was, and fortunately for them, it wasn’t far enough away to need a cart. Approaching the door, Scavenger nudged the dozing doe who’d been leaning against her the entire time. “We’re here.”

“Mmhmm...” She slipped her keycard over the lock but didn’t push the door open herself.

“You really are tired, aren’t you?” The Zalak sighed, leading her across the threshold. “Huh. Nice place - plenty of corners. Where’s your room?”

Firewatch waved in a direction. “Over there.”

“Cool. You um...you mind if I stay the night? Your place is closer to where I need to be in the morning.”

“Go ahead.” The Elafia pulled her into her bedroom with her but let go to fall into bed. “Goodnight.”

Scavenger took a moment to evaluate her situation before asking, “You want me on the couch or-”

“Mmm.” She slapped the bed.

“Good.” The Zalak slipped off her shoes before collapsing onto the mattress as well. “Night.”

The avenger said nothing as she found the mercenary’s hand before falling asleep.

#arknights #arknights fic #firewatch (arknights)#scavenger (arknights)#provence (arknights)#matchmaker matchmaker make me a match #'i see you are interested in the exceptionally rare - Scavenger+not Provence'

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weebtarurights · 3 years

Text

Tenma Sumeragi SR (Perfect Cigar Box)

Read full backstage under the cut^^

Story Title: " Summer Troupe Cigar Box"

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ PART 1˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

Tenma: I'm back. Izumi: Welcome back, Tenma-kun. You're carrying a lot of baggage today. Tenma: Ah, this bag? There's a cigar box inside it. Kumon: Tenma-san has been practicing cigar box juggling between breaks during work. Izumi: So that's why. Misumi: Tenma is amazing~. Tenma: Doing this much is only natural. Failure is not an option. Muku: Yup, it's not something anyone can do. Izumi: Have you learned cigar box juggling now? Tenma: Sort of. Kumon: Can't wait to see Tenma juggle cigar boxes--! Misumi: I wanna see~ it too--! Muku: I'd love to see it too. Izumi: It might be a great chance to show everyone the results of your practice. Tenma: Yeah, you're right. I also want to hear an objective opinion. Maybe I should have the Summer Troupe watch it tomorrow. Kumon: Yesss! We're gonna see Tenma's cigar box juggling! Tenma: Muku, can you tell Kazunari? I'll tell Yuki about it. Muku: Yup, understood. I'll tell Kazu-kun!

Tenma: Alright, here I go. Misumi: Tenma, good luck. Yuki: Show us what you've got.

Kazunari: Tenten, you're so sick! Muku: You're so cool! Kumon: Tenma-san's so rad! Misumi: I found a triangle~. Tenma: Where the hell? Yuki: .....Boring. What's so fun about cigar boxes? Tenma: Hah!? Catching all the boxes you threw in the air with your hands alone is already amazing enough, you know! Yuki: I'm not saying you didn't do well. Tenma: Then what? Yuki: I'm saying it's not fun enough. Kazunari: Why not go something out of the box? Muku: Something different? Kumon: How about juggling 4 boxes instead? Kazunari: Sounds super lit! Muku: Ju-chan is juggling 3 boxes so there will be a huge difference. Yuki: Juggling 3 boxes is the standard. The more difficult it is, the more interesting it will be. Tenma: Do I have to do it now? Yuki: What? Don't tell me you can't? Tenma: Don't be silly! Yuki: Then, 4 boxes. Tenma: Guh. Okay, fine. I'll do it! I'm telling you, I'll be able to juggle 4 boxes perfectly!

Misumi: Tenma can juggle 4 boxes now~? Tenma: Perfectly. Kazunari: Eh, you learned it already!? Kumon: It's only been 4 days though!? Tenma: Hmph. That goes without saying. Muku: As expected of Tenma-kun! You learned to do it so quickly...! Yuki: Hmm..... Tenma: I won't let you say it's boring next time! Kazunari: Then, we're gonna have Tenma's cigar box juggling watch party again!? Tenma: Let's do it. Misumi: Yup yup~! Yuki: Sounds good. Kazunari: Tenten, is tomorrow good for you? Tenma: Nah. Let's do it when I get home this evening. Kazunari: Roger that! Let's do it when you get back! Tenma: Alright.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ PART 2 ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

Tenma: Here I go. Muku: I'm looking forward to it!

Misumi: Tenma's amazing! Muku: It was breathtaking. Kazunari: That was ssooo rad! I should've taken vids~! Kumon: Juggling 4 boxes looks better than I expected-! Tenma: See. Told you it's interesting! Yuki: How noisy. Tenma: You little....! ......Well, whatever. That aside, how was it? Yuki: It's better than before. But it's still not good enough. Tenma: Hah!? Give me a break! Misumi: I wonder why~? Tenma: Is it not polished enough? Or is it the height or speed..... ....Whoops!

Misumi: Hmm~.... Muku: If you throw it too high, the timing will be off. Kumon: It's a little bit too fast.... Yuki: Ah, I know. It's not visually stimulating enough. It's boring. Tenma: Visual details....so it's about the appearance. Muku: Most cigar boxes are rather simple. Kazunari: Ah! Why don't we design it ourselves!? Yuki: I agree. Tenma: Hah!? It'll be embarrassing if you make it too flashy! Yuki: If you really want to lose in the performing arts competition that bad, why not keep it as it is? Not like I care either. Tenma: Ugh.... ...Alright. Then decorate it. Kazunari: Alrighty! We're gonna whip it into a colorful cigar box! Misumi: I'll draw triangles for Tenma too! Muku: Let me help too. Kumon: Me too! Tenma: Make it into something cool. Yuki: It might look cool if we put in some letters. Tenma: Letters, huh. Sounds good. Do that. Yuki: Got it.

Izumi: (I forgot my towel during the practice earlier) Tenma: ...... Izumi: (Hm? Is that Tenma-kun? What is he doing here by himself? ) (Is that a cigar box he's holding....? ) Tenma-kun's cigar box is so colorful. Tenma: Ah, director. Those guys decorated it for me. It's colorful but sharp-looking because of the black letters Yuki added. Izumi: Ah, you're right.

Choice 1: "It suits Tenma-kun" Izumi: This cigar box somehow suits Tenma-kun really well. Tenma: Is that so? Izumi: Yup. I think the extravagant atmosphere fits Tenma-kun well. Tenma: Extravagant...? I see. Now that you mentioned it, I think so too. Izumi: I can't wait to watch the real thing! Tenma: Yeah, they took time to decorate it. I should at least show a perfect performance. Izumi: ( Tenma-kun somehow looks happy.)

Choice 2: " I'm glad everyone helped out" Izumi: I'm glad everyone helped out. Tenma: Yeah, I appreciate it. When they told me to juggle 4 boxes, I didn't know if I could do it. Izumi: But Tenma-kun practiced a lot and now you can do it perfectly! Tenma: ..... Well, I want to give my best performance if I am going to do it anyway. (It's extremely difficult to juggle four boxes. Tenma-kun is amazing.)

Izumi: Speaking of, what are you doing here? Tenma: I'm thinking of ways to stop the box so that the audience will be able to see the letters in it. Izumi: Hmm.... How about throwing it with the alphabets facing the audience and then making it drop as it is? After that, you can throw it making it flip once with the back facing the audience. Tenma: Exactly as I thought... Let me try it. Izumi: Can I watch? Tenma: Yes. Let me know if you notice something strange. Izumi: Got it. Tenma: Then...Here I go.

Izumi: Eh, amazing! You did it! The letters are facing me. Tenma: Good to hear. Izumi: Yup, it's perfect----Hm? (HA★CK....EHH?!)

Izumi: Tenma-kun, those letters... Tenma: What's wrong with the letters? HA★CK.... H A C K .... Hack!? That little.....! Like hell I'll use something like this! Izumi: (....Do we even have extra budget for a new cigar box....? )

Notes: 2) They originally refer to “アルファベット” all throughout the backstage as they were referring to English Alphabet but I decided to stick to “letters” instead since it sounds more natural.

#tenma sumeragi #A3! Tenma #tenma sumeragi cards #tenma sumeragi backstage #A3! Backstage #Perfect Cigar Box

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ayuuria · 3 years

Text

Yashahime Translation: Animedia January 2021 Issue

Please do not repost this translation without my consent! This includes screenshots of any type and amount. If you wish to share this translation, simply link to this post.

For more information regarding the use of my translations, click here.

I do apologize if some of the translations feel awkward. This one was slightly technical so I had to do some research on the side.

Animedia Education Lecture

You think you know but you surprisingly don’t

Working in Anime

— Editing Edition –

A corner where we delve into the work of anime production. This time, we ask Nii Kazuhiro of (share) IMAGICA Lab., who handles the editing for “Hanyō no Yashahime”, about editing!

The job of “editing” is vital not just in anime but also in live movies and tv dramas. People who like films may be able to vaguely imagine the burden of having the big role of organizing the scenes. However, exactly what sort of work do they do in anime production? This time, Mr. Nii Kazuhiro of (share) IMAGICA Lab., who oversees the editing of the action packed “Hanyō no Yashahime”, makes an appearance! We had him discuss editing and the special work process unique to “Hanyō no Yashahime”.

Tell us Nii-san! Let’s learn about “Editing”

Q: What kind of job is “Editing”?

It is a job that manages the flow of the whole film by connecting scenes or shots together. For example, how well a signature move in battle or sports is executed is dependent upon the tempo adjustment “editing”. Other things like scenes where shots are divided effectively by the placement of songs or music in an important work, will always have an editor’s hand (adjustment) involved. Even if the animation is created to flow exactly like the storyboard, a lot of times the timing of those scenes is fine-tuned with editing. Timing is just as important as properly moving images after all.

Q. During what phase of the anime production do you work?

Typically in anime, shots are edited at a phase where the color and sound have not yet been added and is completed as each phase in the production moves forward. Editing takes place before the audio work. Basically, it occurs twice: before voice recording and dubbing (translator’s note: Dubbing here does not mean voice over! Dubbing is the phase where they mix the voicing, sound effects, and music together to match the images). There are many works where color is added after dubbing has concluded, but in “Hanyō no Yashahime”, in order to allow for dubbing with the color, colored images are used as materials when editing. Since the images are colored, we can confirm the fine details with the director and production supervisor and then make adjustments.

Q. How does one become an “Editor”?

I entered a vocational school focused on film making and learned not just about editing but film making as a whole such as filming and lighting. There wasn’t any convenient editing software at the time, so I joined my current company that does film production thinking “Editing is something that can’t be self-taught so I want to learn on the job”. If you want to pursue editing, then you should watch as many different types of films as you can. You can’t notice things in production like direction and the camera angle of a shot if you don’t have interest in it, so I think it’s best to study it for the sake of knowledge.

Q. What abilities are needed for “Editing”?

Communication skills are an absolute must. Especially in animation which has a lot of detailed work itineraries and staff members creating it. To ensure that there are no mistakes, you must ask the director or production supervisor on anything you are unsure of. Of course, you can’t keep asking questions on every single shot so there are times where you will need to understand past productions and make decisions yourself. However, being able to muster up the courage and ask when necessary is important. You need communication skills for that purpose.

The “Hanyō no Yashahime” Production Site Packed with Fixations

— Please tell us the details on how you came to oversee the editing in “Hanyō no Yashahime”.

I had the opportunity to work with Director Satō (Teruo) on “Aikatsu Stars!” and he reached out to me. Since the story was connected to “Inuyasha”, which was broadcasted when I was a child, I felt a lot of pressure at first. While I was nervous when I heard the that main staff hadn’t changed much from “Inuyasha”, I felt “That’s all the more reason I have to work hard”.

— In regard to the editing work, did Director Satō make any demands?

I touched on this earlier in my response to “what phase we work” where I discussed how the director requested “Please have the images close to completion before the dubbing, where the music and voicing will be decided finalized, takes place. I would like to have editing done just before the dubbing as well.” This is what makes this so different from other works.

For example, in action scenes when the image is unfinished, it’s hard to understand the small movements or context. Hence, it’s difficult to take a “Maybe make the tempo like this” sort of editing approach. In typical animes, there are a lot of times where the final images solidify after the sound is completed. When that happens, there’s not much room to make edits for the most part.

However, in “Hanyō no Yashahime”, the images are mostly done before the dubbing so we can make adjustments with the director while matching the images with the voice actor’s lines. I thought it was a good idea. This is a trait unique to this work.

— Was there an aspect that you yourself focused on when editing this work?

While it’s a work with a lot of serious developments, what I focus on during those scenes is the “the interval between emotions”. In live film works, for thinking scenes, the actor’s “thinking act” is included so there’s an interval. However, in anime, the movement simply stops and there are no lines, so a lot of times you can’t measure the interval. Nevertheless, those serious scenes are important in “Hanyō no Yashahime” so I think it’s important to have “intervals” which is what I’m careful about. On the other hand, there are comical scenes, so I’m careful not to destroy the tempo. In anime, the tempo can change if it’s off by 6 frames*

*1 frame = 24 frames per second

The Feeling of Fun in Doing “Editing” Work

— In anime editing, does the work’s genre make a difference?

It does. Lately in action and sport (animes), materials included are not just from the storyboard but also from 3D CG as well, so we’re careful to make sure the connection between that and normal image (2D) scenes don’t feel out of place. When I first started, I couldn’t get the hang of it and was at a loss. The 3D CG portion is done by a different production team instead of the animation (drawing) team, so during my edits I couldn’t visualize the complete final form and fumbled as I worked.

In terms of idol anime, there’s “Aikatsu Stars!” that I worked with Director Satō on, but I was still a novice then… In work that’s geared towards children, I focused on making the tempo of the conversation scenes as steady as possible. If the tempo is too fast, it will end with everything being breezed through and a child will become unable to follow. I remember being careful of that.

— Are there times where you have to edit multiple episodes at the same time?

I mainly only work on one episode at a time. It’s just that periodically I have to confirm and make adjustments on a line-by-line basis in another episode at the same time.

— What part of “Editing” do you feel makes the jobs worthwhile?

In anime, images and CG shots that have been completed at each phase of the process are gathered individually as materials for editing. Updating those materials into one new episode and getting to see the finished product first is what “Editing” is. I think this is what makes the job of “Editing” fun the most. I get a sense of responsibility that I’m managing not only the shots but the entire work as a whole. Also, because I’ve seen the production process, I feel happy and simply moved like “That’s amazing” when all the phases are completed and the whole anime is finished. This is when I feel worthwhile as an editor. Also, I don’t think there’s much opportunity to take part in the production of the character movement and camera work in live filming, so I think this is what makes editing anime fun.

— After going through all the work, how do you feel when you watch the broadcasting of the finished version?

I end up watching it from different angles but when I watch it as a regular viewer, I become happy nonetheless. Of course, there are times where I personally think “I should’ve done this” at the little things. Now with social media, I know the viewers’ reactions in real time, so when there was a huge response to episode 1 with Inuyasha and the others, that put pressure on me going forward (laughs).

The Charm of “Hanyō no Yashahime” That You Personally Enjoy

— Of all the episodes that have been broadcasted thus far, which episode left the biggest impression on you?

Episode 3 where the three heroines (Towa, Setsuna, and Moroha) came together. I got to watch the (voice) recording for that episode and the battle scene was really cool. Also, I was able to properly draw the first conversation between the three so that left the biggest impression on me in that sense.

Then there’s episode 7. It’s the episode where you return to the scene of the three of them that at the very beginning of episode 1. The composition of back tracking up to episode 1 left an impression on me, so even as I was editing episode 7, I admired how it felt like the mystery was being revealed or rather feeling like “I see. This is where it connects”.

— By the way, who is your favorite character personally?

Moroha. She’s fundamentally an energetic character, her skills in action scenes are cool, and the way she seems to mimic the movements of her father, Inuyasha, is entertaining as well. While she behaves in a manner that makes you wonder if she had a tragic past, she’s a character whose emotions are easy to read so that’s why she’s my favorite.

— Including upcoming highlights, please give a message to our readers.

Going forward there will be more episodes regarding the three heroine’s past which I think is a highlight. As I was editing a future episode, I felt “We’re approaching the true nature of the story”. Please look forward to the cool action scenes and the episode where the three’s past will become clear.

#yashahime #hanyō no yashahime #yashahime: princess half-demon #translation

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their-name-is-morgan · 5 years

Note

Yelooo... How about a "You've kissed me about fifty times today" with Okuyasu? Please

Hey! Sorry for the delay, I hope this is worth the wait though❤

Meant to be (You’ve kissed me about fifty times today)

Okuyasu x Reader❤

The sound of your phone ringing was what woke you up from your 2 hours log nap, which you hadn’t planned to take seeing how you were laying on the couch in the most uncomfortable position, with your laptop still on your stomach and the bag of chips you’d forgotten to put away now on the floor.

You lazily grabbed your phone from the coffee table and a gentle smile adorned your face once you were finally able to read the name of who was calling you at 7 in the evening; you pressed the green button on the screen.

“Hello, is Okuyasu there?” you said, doing your best to sound serious, until you heard a small ‘Huh?’ and couldn’t keep a straight face anymore, a small giggle escaping your lips.

“I called you- wait, are you pranking me?” he asked, and you giggled one more time at how easily he’d get confused at this kind of things.

“Yeah, yeah! What’s up though?” you finally asked, genuinely curious. He’d usually call you in the early afternoon or he’d just stop by if he needed something, he was your boyfriend after all, so you didn’t mind having him around.

He excitedly explain –you could tell he was smiling, even through the phone- that he was free the following day and that if you didn’t mind he had something special planned for the both of you. The following day being a Sunday, you didn’t have much to do as it was everyone’s lazy day, so you informed him that you were free also.

“I was thinking that I could pick you up at 5_30? In the afternoon- but it’s okay if you prefer earlier or later!” he quickly added, and you shook your head even though he couldn’t see you.

“5 is fine by me, are youuu planning to bring me to that nice Trattoria you work at?” you asked, picking up the bag of chips and placing it on the small table, “Or some other place I don’t know about yet? Or wait- don’t tell me, I want it to be a surprise!”

You heard him giggle at your behaviour, and you couldn’t help but do the same.

“It’s a surprise babe, I don’t wanna ruin it for you! But… wear something nice- agh, no wait, wear whatever you want! Y-You’ll look nice anyway!” your cheeks flushed, although you hadn’t missed how he was speaking more quickly than usual. You decided not to mention it though, as you guessed it was because he had something on his mind regarding your little date.

“Alright then, impress me, handsome!”

“Woah, that’s an exaggeration!” he stammered, and you rolled your eyes playfully;

“It isn’t, when will you stop putting yourself down?” you gently scolded him, staring at a picture of the two of you which you had saved on your laptop; you even had an entire folder dedicated to various selfies you and Okuyasu took and pictures of you two in general.

“How abouuut…when you will?”

The cute conversation went on for a while as you tidied your living room, which started to resemble a garbage dump less and less. You said your goodbyes after agreeing with each other that it was starting to get late, and you both still had to make and eat dinner, and you assured him that you would’ve been able to talk later.

The next day, you woke up excited; it wasn’t exactly early in the morning when you opened your eyes, as they widened when you glanced at the clock hanging on the wall, which read 12:36 in the afternoon. You let a small sigh escape your lips, maybe playing video games until ungodly hours wasn’t that good of an idea when you were supposed to wake up early and go on a date later…

Nonetheless, you still managed to cook lunch, change into a much more fitting attire and, as any other independent and responsible adult would do, watch videos on YouTube until it was time to leave with Okuyasu –whom picked you up at 5:30 with his brand new, black Nissan Note instead of his motorbike, and gave you a kiss first thing after yelling an ‘Oi, Y/N!’-.

“So,” you started, buckling up the seat belt, “You’re starting to use your car more?”

He shrugged as he started the engine,

“I mean… it was a gift for my 18th birthday, so I might as well use it. Plus…isn’t it more romantic to drive you somewhere with a car, instead of a motorbike?” he asked, causing you to snort.

“I guess so, your motorbike isn’t bad though- it’s just that the damn helmet always messes up my hair!”

“Hey, I thought that was just my problem! Why the hell didn’t ya tell me sooner? I’ve felt so alone this entire time…” he jokingly admitted, pouting slightly as you rolled your eyes and let out another giggle.

The 20 minutes drive seemed to fly by as you chatted about all, you were so engulfed with the conversation that you almost didn’t notice the beautiful scenery out of the car window- you guessed he was taking you to a restaurant with sea view.

As you finally arrived, he parked his car and gently placed a hand on your shoulder as if to stop you from opening the door.

“W-Wait, let me get that for you.” He said, getting out of the car and making his way to your side so he could open the door for you. You felt your cheeks and ears getting warmer as he even held your hand so he could help you stand up.

“That…was so sweet, Oku,” you said, beaming. His own cheeks got crimson and he quickly kissed you on the forehead, your hand still in his.

“Ah, u-uhm, yes, let’s get in, shall we?” he questioned and you nodded, a smile still on your face, partly because of the flustered state he was in.

He lead you inside, and you couldn’t help but notice how fancy the place seemed to be. Each table had a thin, white tablecloth, utensils and blue handkerchiefs placed on it, the wooden floor was so clean that you could almost use it as a mirror, and the pure white walls had been painted on, intricate drawings of the waves and fish –the colours that had been used were soft blues and greens, though- catching your attention immediately.

The restaurant was quite busy, with waiters and waitresses fast-walking from one side to the other, carrying any sort of dish. Your mouth watered at the sight of your favourite food getting served and you couldn’t wait to order something yourself.

Okuyasu seemed to notice this and opened his mouth to say something, but was cut off by one of the waiters,

“Ah, welcome, miss and mister! Did you book a table?” he asked, a polite smile on his freckled face. Okuyasu took a step forward,

“Uuh, yes, a table for two.” He quickly replied, and he nodded.

“Very well, your last names please?”

“Oh! Nijimura and L/N,”

“Let me lead the way!”

The two of you let him guide you towards one of the tables in the back, from where you could clearly see the sea and the clear sky without anything that could block your visual. You sat down in front of each other and the waiter handed you the Menus, informing you that he would be back soon to take your orders. You both thanked him and smiled, seeing how he had been nothing but sweet.

After a few minutes you were ready to order; you decided to eat your favourite meal while Okuyasu settled for caprese salad with pesto sauce –in honour of Tonio, you guessed, and he grinned when you asked him-.

“This is a fancy restaurant, by the way. Did you see how much some of the stuff costs? I hope the dessert isn’t too expensive, I forgot to look at the prices of that-“ you glanced at your boyfriend and he shook his head.

“Hey, don’t sweat it, it’s my treat!” he reassured you, he was being very sweet. You wondered why as you kept talking to each other; maybe he had a surprise for you? He was dressed so nicely, too- he wore a dark blue blazer with a white buttoned up shirt underneath, dark blue trousers and elegant black shoes. You panicked for a moment realizing that maybe you should’ve worn something a bit more elegant, too…

When the food finally arrived it was already 6 pm –understandable since there were so many people to serve, so you didn’t complain- the sound of people talking and utensils clattering filling the large room you were in, as you and Okuyasu started to talk about how good the food tasted and how nice the place was, to then move on to how both of you were pretty much settled with the job you had –Okuyasu had brought that up, a smile on his face, and you went along with it but you didn’t miss the fact that his nervousness had started to increase-.

As the sun started to set, causing the sky to change its colour from a bright blue to pink and red hues, and the sea gradually became calmer, you glanced out of the large window, sorbet in one hand and straw in the other to support it every time you would take a sip. Said window was slightly opened, and you couldn’t complain about the fresh breeze, which was making your hair gently move without messing it up as you feared.

“Thank you so much for taking me here by the way, Okuyasu,” you said, your smile growing as his cheeks tinted pink once again.

“That is…really the least I could do for making me the happiest guy in Mor-“ ‘Shit, no, I’m fucking this up- Morioh is so small!’ he mentally scolded himself, “…the happiest guy in the world!” he responded, his hands nervously shaking despite the weather being sunny and the temperature being quite warm.

“Hey, I could say the same, find me a guy who can make me laugh with his dumb jokes and then takes me out to the most romantic dinner ever,” you said, placing the small cup made of glass on the table, both of your desserts –he had ordered choco strawberry cone flavoured ice cream, as always- finished.

“I thought I was enough, though!” he joked, and as you laughed he leaned forward to quickly kiss your nose. You quirked as eyebrow.

“You’ve kissed me about fifty times today, why is that?” you couldn’t help but ask, though you kept smiling.

“That- might be because I wanted to tell you something very important,” he started, taking your hand in his. You weren’t sure why, but your breathing quickened. You feared it was something bad, but then again, Okuyasu had always been so sweet, why would he take you out and then tell you something that’d make you cry?

“Go on, I’m all ears.”

“S-So, uh, you know I’m no good with words but… we’ve been dating for years and…in these years, I realized that I was so dumb in high school, I was jealous of Josuke because he had all those girls surrounding him and nobody really cared about me,” he took a deep breath, his gaze never meeting yours, his eyes wandering in any other direction, “That is, until I met you, and I realized that…it…didn’t really matter anymore, how many girls were interested in me, or whatever. Because, I mean, why would it when you’re here by my side? And I know this was probably really simple and maybe it sounded stupid,”

He stood up, careful not to make a fool of himself by tripping or making something fall. Meanwhile, you finally realized what was going on, and your heart began racing as you noticed him getting closer, hands clenched in his pockets, and everyone else silently staring at you, almost expectantly. He kneeled on the floor, making everyone –including you- audibly gasp. You didn’t even try to hold back the huge smile on your face, and it seemed to be the same for Okuyasu.

“…but I don’t think I need anyone else with me, when we’re together, s-so… Y/N, amore mio,” he finally whipped the ring box out of his pocket, and opened it, revealing a gorgeous engagement ring that you couldn’t wait to have on your finger, “Will you marry me?”

You, at a loss of words, simply bobbed your head up and down, tears threatening to fall from your eyes, while Okuyasu was already in tears the moment you nodded. He quickly stood up and you threw your arms around his neck, embracing him so tight that your chests were touching and your head rested in the crook of his neck, while his rested in yours. You could hear the people cheering as Okuyasu broke the tight hug to slide the ring onto your finger, only to sweetly kiss you afterwards, his cheeks still wet with tears and his lips slightly quivering.

Once you could finally speak again, you chuckled, and he tilted his head in confusion.

“Did Tonio teach you that?”

“W-What?”

“Amore mio. It means ‘my love’ in Italian,”

He raised his eyebrows in realization and he, strangely enough, looked away,

“Well, yeah, he did, but I’m also…kind of learning Italian? On my own?”

You let an almost inaudible ‘Wow’ escape from your mouth and he seemed proud of himself, as he slightly smirked.

“That’s so cool, should I expect a wedding speech in Italian then?” you questioned, half joking and half serious.

“Hey, don’t expect too much from me now!”

“Nah, don’t worry.” ‘I only expect you to be the best husband ever. I know you will be.’ You though, as he excitedly told you your next destination- the Arcade.

#jojos bizarre adventure #jjba #jojo #okuyasu #Okuyasu Nijimura #x reader #jjba x reader #jojo x reader #Diamond is Unbreakable #gender neutral reader #okuyasu x reader

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thenonbinarydetective · 4 years

Text

MID Overview/Review

Ok so I redid it because tumblr broke the first one. Luckily, it gave me the oppurtunity to fix some of my grammar/spelling mistakes.

It’s actually even longer than before.

I’m thorough what can I say?

besides please read this it took a while.

· On the menu’s Extra Section there’s a trailer for Nancy Drew and the Hidden Staircase (2019). A movie that came out way before this game which is kinda funny

· The movement is a little janky, to put it in professional terms, it’s a little fast and jumpy. It took a bit to get used to the navigation.

· The problem with the movement really jumps out in the end in the tunnels. I could barely get my cursor around the Hardy Boys or even Mei.

· Also in the tunnels, if I went slightly off trail the game would FREAK out. I wanted to look around the tunnels and maybe get a bad end but our Sleuths but I couldn’t look around without being yelled at.

· This happens in other mini games and puzzles, whenever you mess up the characters make a snarky remark in your direction. Every. Single. Time. It would be funnier if it was only on a few occasions but it was every time I “messed up”.

· The graphics were obviously terrible. They also were variable…Somethings looked kinda okay and somethings looked awful. Like the quality changed from time to time. Sometimes even in the same frames. Frank, graphically, looks better than some of the other characters. When he and Joe stood next to each other, they almost looked like they didn’t belong in the same game. This goes for some of the other characters too.

· I don’t get why Frank was always in that pose? Everyone else stood awkwardly but admittedly it was a bit more normal. They stood with their hands towards their hips like how people typically do. Although there was a few times where people just grabbed their wrists for no reason.

· As someone who loves mythology and folklore (and pretty much anything that can be tied to into those) it was really cool to see the Malleus Maleficarum or The Hammer of Witches in the game. I wish it actually had more use in the game and maybe helped in some way. I know the book did some terrible things but it is an interesting read. As I do own a copy of it.

· Also my birthdate was used on the puzzle. Which was cool. It’s fun to be born on special dates. Except my birthday isn’t part of the solution but that’s okay.

· There’s a couple times where Nancy(and Frank) starts talking about clues or reading things out loud before I got the chance to look at them which was super annoying.

· The game crashed multiple times while playing

· The closer look at the clues was nice but was only okayish for me. It didn’t always work that well. Besides I’ve seen other games with the same function that worked smoother.

· I’m not a big fan of the new chat format. I prefer the old way. In this new format a lot of the dialogue options were getting cut off or the option didn’t fully describe what Nancy was going to say so I didn’t know what I was choosing.

· The text boxes were a bit buggy and there were times I couldn’t click on some of the dialogue options.

· The cutscenes were slow and the game had WAY too much talking. There was more talking than gameplay. The game was honestly just walking and talking

· I liked the text messages, they were fun and cute but they didn’t add much to the gameplay

· Lots of objects were clipping into each other

· Loading screens were always glitch

· The audio was off a lot of times. There were times when I could barely hear the characters over the background music or ambience sound. In Austria, I called Ned and Carson and I wouldn’t have even known they were speaking if not for the subtitles. Even after lowering the music and ambience sounds specifically and I still had this issue.

· Also Ned’s voicemail has changed. Did he make up with his sister?

· There were a lot of spelling and grammar mistakes. Almost every other written thing (books, pamphlets, and notes) had some kind of mistake. Hotchkiss’ book is one example.

· There were times when the pop-up text box was harder to read than the written thing. Not all the paragraphs were spaced out far enough in the boxes but were fine on the written thing.

· No “Can’t check that off yet.” The Checklist was unusable by the player. Unlike every other game. It did it automatically which wasn’t fun. I liked using the checklist.

· The game was so linear that I couldn’t really look around or do my own thing. When one thing was down you were immediately shuffled to the next thing. It basically made the checklist unnecessary.

· Terrible Animation. People moved for no reason. Just stuck in the same cyclical animation over and over and over again. They were pretty janky and awkward. Joe was the worst for me, he was constantly twitching on the screen. Frank was stock-still in comparison. No one else was that bad.

· Many of the mouth movements did not remotely match what the characters were saying. Sometimes nonexistent.

· Everyone’s EYES ARE SO WIDE. IT’S LIKE THEY DON’T HAVE EYELIDS. THEY’RE SO OPEN.

· The Parry’s curtains glitch in the sink. There’s a few plants that look weird, they had a neon glow on them. Olivia’s hands are always clipping through her robe and hair. In Moosham Castle there is a thing that’s inside a table. Both the Hardy Boys’ feet (and maybe other characters) were entirely in the ground at times. There were plenty of other problems like that.

· If I looked around a certain way while everyone’s talking at the Parry kitchen table Frank’s entire body disappears with the exception of his neck and watch.

· Some of the windows had a view of the town outside but other windows have this shine that you can’t see through.

· I’m not thrilled about the bystanders. Only the protest guy really helped. Over all they didn’t add to the game or help me at all.

· Dr. Hirst’s silhouette was kinda weird

· Also why did the game start in Austria??? That’s just weird? I thought we were just gonna start with Deirdre calling us but whatever

· I really hate the needless and honestly misplaced drama. Why couldn’t we talk to Ned and why haven’t we talked to Ned. It really pissed me off. Why would you put this directly after Ned’s whole “I Love and Support- This Could Basically Be a Proposal” Speech in Sea of Darkness? It’s just super off

· Not to mention the fact that the “Francy” moments in this game felt super forced. I don’t like what it does to their characters too. It feels like Ned isn’t trusting Nancy, which is crazy because he trusts her with his life. Frank is the more awkward Hardy Brother but that was ramped all the way up. Also Nancy completely ignoring Ned? What? They don’t feel like themselves here. It’s just off. This tone should’ve been brought in so soon, chronologically, after SEA. It’s out of place.

· Who was the female voice that was in the phone call with Ned? That was never answered. Was that a drama plot that was unfinished? Why not take it out of the game if you’re never going to resolve it? Why start an unnecessary relationship drama that’s both half-assed and unfinished?

· It’s kinda weird how in the end Nancy leaves the Parry house and calls Ned and we can hear her side of the conversation but not his. She’s just talking to herself.

· The phone friends were basically useless. If it wasn’t for the flashlight and the checklist I would say that Nancy didn’t even need her phone. And I guess talking to Damian Faulkner. 95% of the calls I made just went to voicemail. I want to chat about the case, talk to my friends, and get hints like we used to. I didn’t even know we could call Dr.Hirst about the ergot poisoning. I only found out on accident. I don’t know how many conversations I missed. Calling people used to feel important but here it doesn’t even need to be in the game it’s so useless.

· Just because this bugs me I don’t like the Hardy Boys starting their own detective agency. They began their work by working for their Dad. Who is a private investigator/private detective. Who runs a Detective Agency. Why would they start their own?? If you’re gonna make this a family business why not make it a family business? Right?

· May February, 1692 was an actual date they used. I think it was supposed to be February and they changed it to May. Earlier in the same note they used May so I’m guessing they didn’t properly finish the rest of the note.

· The lockpick game was visually glitch for me and the game itself didn’t work that great for me

· Joe’s hair makes him look like a fake blond lol. There are parts of his head (by the nape of his neck for example) that have brown hairs. Also some parts of his hair didn’t load properly on occasion and underneath was brown. Did he dye it?

· Which brings me to my next point. The hair was animated horribly. Frank and any of the other short and simple haired characters were okay. But probably only because they had short and simple hair. The longer haired characters were not as well animated.

· I randomly got double the Johnny Cakes when I made them. So Teegan and Olivia got extra.

· I will admit that making the Johnny cakes wasn’t the worst cooking minigame we’ve had in the games before.

· Frank getting the Frankenstein ones were a little obvious. It also didn’t feel as personal as the other ones oddly enough. We had a fun little dialogue about the design with everyone but Frank. He just got some cringey “I’ll eat these right away” kind of dialogue.

· I wish the truth serum was actually useful. Solving Tituba’s poem and going a bit out of the way to get the ingredients led me to believe it would be used for more than some “fun” dialogue choices. Joe and Deirdre are the only ones to use it. Which leads to some cute moments in which Deirdre admits she actually kinda likes and admires Nancy. I love her. Joe says he always tells the truth (no) so he doesn’t know how to tell if it works. I love him.

· Maybe it’s just me or the audio was off but Carson sounded different in Austria than he did in Salem.

· The use of the ergot poisoning was kinda of awesome. It’s one of the most popular theories on why Salem went bonkers and it was interesting to see it used to trick our favorite sleuths.

· The note to save Deirdre didn’t appear when I clicked on it. Frank (and I think Joe) reacted to it but it didn’t let me examine it. The bug fixed itself by closing the examination and clicking on it again.

· I love how the “ghosts” were handled. Especially them being hallucinations. My favorite was in the cemetery with the Hardy Boys and Olivia. The screen got kinda weird and everyone started to get worked up and really tense. They started fighting and you could see Abigail before they did. The build up to it was fantastic. The other scenes were cool too.

· The tunnels where the “ghosts” jumped out at every wrong (and sometimes right) turns while you’re desperately trying to escape the tunnels with Mei was pretty awesome. One of the jumpscares even got me.

· THERE WAS NO ENDING LETTER. She wrote a letter to Ned in the beginning but she never wrote a second one. Sure we sorta got to see how everything turned out at the party but it’s not the same. It doesn’t feel properly ended.

· I lowkey ship Jason and Mei. I could totally picture the two of them making out in those hidden tunnel rooms beneath Salem. Not just because I would too. This easily could’ve been another unfulfilled romance sideplot.

· Some of the books/notes really didn’t feel that helpful. I did learn some new things about Salem but I don’t feel we used the knowledge we gained properly in the game.

· The Jack O Lanterns were fun.

· The parallels between the Judges of the Witch Trials and Judge Danforth was a pretty interesting plot point. There definitely is a difference between accusing witches and accusing someone of arson when they were 9.

· Teegan’s guilt for both the shed and Hathorne house was something I didn’t really expect. It was a good plot twist. I can see how it was hinted earlier on by Lauren who says “Teegan likes to protect what’s important to her, sometimes that’s Mei.” Sometimes being the key word.

· The Hardy Boys being home-made ghost hunters was hysterical and adorable. I want them to have their own games soooo badly.

· I am completely on Joe’s side that we can’t prove that ghosts don’t exists, even if we can’t prove they do exist.

· I knew Alicia was the bad guy the second she started shit-talking Ned without knowing him. Only bad people don’t like Ned. He would never force Nancy to become a housewife, that’s not who she is and he loves her for who she is.

· I did “OK Boomer” Judge Danforth. He deserved it.

· I loved the little tidbits that we got of Frances’ and Lauren’s relationship we got to hear about. It’s really sweet.

· The comparison of Jason being a fast food cheeseburger with extra extra extra cheese and Ned being a home-cooked meal is perfect. Home-cooked meal is a great way to describe Ned.

· Either way they’re both snacks.

· Ok Jason’s ugly in these graphics but it was implied he was supposed to be hot.

· Jason could’ve been a true himbo but unfortunately he wasn’t

· TBH Ned, Carson, and Damian were the most attractive characters in the game. Only because they weren’t subjected to these graphics.

· I loved the Ghost Wavelength Spectral Analyzer 2.5 the Joe Hardy Guide to Amazing Finds but I hate the spectral analyzer itself. That mini-game was the WORST. It took forever!

· Alicia was straight up just gonna kill everyone. I’m doubting her biology knowledge.

· Also if you wanna raise kids in a more “modern” environment just freaking move. I know there was money in that real estate deal but there’s real estate in other towns.

· I love Deirdre. She’s really funny and kinda sweet. Even though she likes Ned (and maybe Nancy too lol) she doesn’t try to break them up or get between them. At least not anymore. She knows how much Ned loves Nancy. She even gave Nancy relationship advice. Which Nancy desperately needs because she terrible at this.

· This is just me but I kinda wish Nancy had an original idea for their vacation instead of just going back to Austria. Maybe let Ned pick this time because he’s the one who has to play catch up all the time and it’s only fair.

· Carson’s an adorable dorky dad and the only rich white man I trust. I’ve said it in my tweets and I will say it until I die. No one can take that away from me.

· This may be repetitive but I don’t like what this game did to Ned, Frank, and I guess even Nancy too. Ned knows about Frank’s feelings for Nancy. And now needless, useless, meaningless drama is gonna happen. I hate it I hate it I HATE IT!

· Just the relationship drama didn’t add a thing to this game. It was stupid. Especially because it was unfinished. It should’ve just been taken out.

· Joe looks 13 and way to skinny. He’s the brawn to Frank’s brain. Yes, he’s smart too and Frank isn’t weak. However, Joe is way stronger than him. If there has to be a scrawnier Hardy Boy, it’s Frank and we all know it.

· To quote Joe he’s got Man Strength™.

· Cause “Boy” is only part of the title, but Hardy Men doesn’t have quite the same ring to it.

· At times it feels like that the creators forget that Joe’s supposed to be smart too. There were times where it felt like they made him a total idiot. Though that could be personal too.

· Frank being a total Captain Obvious, perfect.

· They’re both puppies that got turned into human boys. Frank is just a calmer puppy

· Love that Mei’s going to Waverly but some of the other references fell flat. The Cat thing and the “I only smoke when I’m on fire” thing. It’s just not the same.

· Jason deserves the Not-As-Much-of-a-Jerk-as-You-Could-Have-Been Award.

· Mei’s a sweetie when she finally lets you in.

· The multiple endings seemed to have changed from different culprits to just what happens to Hathorne House and/or Teegan (I think). They seem to be pretty much the same. I did expect that as that has often been my experience with “multiple endings” games.

· I’m glad that both the Accused Witches and Lauren can get the house. It seems right for that to happen.

· Olivia’s pretty funny. I have a thing for eccentric characters. And it was funny how she tried to induct us into the coven at the end.

· The red/ginger hair superstition is a real superstition and I’m glad it was used. It’s for witches, werewolves, and vampires. Not just that gingers have no souls. (from the Malleus Maleficarum)

· If there is another game, I hope it’s the Nedcy vacation. And that we actually get to see Ned lol. I don’t get why he has never made an in-game appearance. It’s a little unfair at this point.

· Considering Emerson College is 39 minutes away from Salem and we still didn’t get him, I doubt it. Even though they mentioned both Salem and kidnapping Ned in Labyrinth of Lies.

· Also that the next one feels more like a Nancy Drew game.

· There’s no puzzles and there’s so much changed that it doesn’t have the same feel to it.

· This doesn’t feel like it took 4 ½ years to make. It feels like it took less than ½ a year. I can tell that things have changed because pretty much all the people who worked on it originally got fired. And that the Austrian game development company that took over everything (besides licensing) struggled to match the quality of the previous games.

· It definitely wasn’t beta-tested or was barely beta-tested. Quite a few beta-testers have come forward to say they didn’t get the offer to beta-test until September of this year. A month before preorder. Yikes.

· I know I got a little mean for some of the points but coddling the company by just saying positive things doesn’t help. They’ll get comfortable and give the fans worse things than this. I’m not an expert but I’ve played and learned enough games that I know some basics about how they’re made. It’s not easy but that doesn’t mean we should excuse things because of it.

· There’s been a lot of controversy with HER and Penny and this game and probably more. I’m not gonna get more into that besides mentioning that things changed because of this and not for the better.

· I probably missed somethings but whatever this is over 3000 words. I covered the basics and then some.

· This game is just a 2.5/5 for me

#nancy drew #mid spoilers #midnight in salem #ned nickerson #nancy drew games #herinteractive #frank hardy #joe hardy #the hardy boys #the hardy brothers #mei parry #teegan parry #olivia ravencroft #lauren holt #judge danforth #jason danforth #alicia cole #deirdre shannon #carson drew

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mysterylover123 · 5 years

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Another Top 20 Favorite BKDK Moments

mysterylover123

Yes, I actually found even more! Looking through the series for other moments just kept delivering unto me more BKDK stuff, until I finally had so many they needed another list. These are admittedly mostly smaller moments, compared to the first list, but I still though they were worth including.

My Next Top 20 Favorite bKDK MOMENTS:

#20. “Deku, that has to be my codename.”

“Time to Pick some Names” Chapter 45/2.14

What Happens: Midoriya decides to choose “Deku” as his hero name. We get Bakugo and Uraraka’s reactions to his decision, along with Bakugo vs Deku replay.

Why I Like It: Though this is also probably my favorite Izu/Ocha moment, I do like how BKG giving Deku the Hero Name fits in with some of the other LifePartner characters in the show (Erasermic and Mirio/Tamaki). It’s minor and mostly Izu/ocha, but I still wanted to include it.

#19. Waiting up for Deku

Chapter 163/Internship arc’s ending

What Happens: Bakugo (and Todoroki) both wait up for the Internship kids to return from their harrowing experience. Bakugo plays it cool, but this was the night before the remedial course, so we know he’s actually concerned.

Why I Like It: While again this one can apply to Kiribaku, Kacchako, and Tododeku as well, we shouldn’t discount BKDK either - since Bakugo did indeed wait up for Deku’s group. Also Kaminari calls him Kacchan now too :)

#18. “You’d die in the exam!”

Highlights from KiraElric’s meta (Link: https://kiraelric.tumblr.com/post/158423114578/my-best-friends-a-fucking-nerd-and-an-idiot-god)

Chapter 1/Episode 1 “Izuku Midoriya Origin”

What Happens: Deku’s desire to go to UA is revealed in front of the class. Bakugo freaks out, but unlike the rest of the students, doesn’t laugh at Deku, but instead demands to know what he can even do in the UA entrance exam.

Why I Like It: Well this is our introduction to Bakugo and he’s designed to come off as a complete ass. But the subtleties of the rivalry are present from the beginning: first, Bakugo dismisses his other classmates as extras but freezes when Deku’s name is brought up, he doesn’t laugh at him, and demands to know what the hell he can even accomplish. It comes across like Bakugo knows, subconsciously, that Deku can probably do great things, but doesn’t want to admit it (because that’s the reason, we hear it stated later on).

#17. “What about Deku?”

Highlights from above post: https://kiraelric.tumblr.com/post/158423114578/my-best-friends-a-fucking-nerd-and-an-idiot-god

Episode 5 “What I Can Do for Now”/6 “Rage you Damn Nerd”

What Happens: During the quirk apprehension test, Bakugo checks to see how Deku is doing. When Deku displays his quirk for the first time, Bakugo freaks out and demands an explanation.

Why I Like It: Bakugo is very fixated on Deku. He takes time out of his own test to see how Deku is doing in the exam, and is absolutely stupefied when Deku displays an ability - in hindsight, he seems at least a little justified in getting so mad, since Deku must have been lying to him their entire lives - he doesn’t know yet about OFA -so what other explanation is there?

#16. “That was your idea, wasn’t it?”

Chapter 37/Season 2 Episode 9 “Bakugo vs Uraraka”

What Happens: Bakugo, when fighting Uraraka, is cautious of her because he knows she’s friends with Deku. After the match, he confronts Deku about “his” scheme, and Deku corrects him, informing him it was Uraraka’s idea (though not from lack of Deku trying).

Why I Like It: While I’d like to think Bakugou is careful of Uraraka at first because she helped beat him before, he states he did it because she’s friends with Deku. It’s Deku he confronts, Deku who he thinks came up with that scheme. Deku also knows Kacchan well enough to tell that he’s not going to hold back against Uraraka, and tried to help her win against him too. He goes into his match with Todoroki soon after, and says the phrase that Bakugo repeats to him “Where are you looking” while demanding that he not hold back (same as Kacchan does).

#15. “Still should’ve broken some bones.”

From: Chapter 70/3.02 “Wild Wild Pussycats”

What Happens: Bakugo, having heard about the Shigaraki incident, mutters that Deku should have fought back against him, despite Hagakure’s protests.

Why I Like It: This scene is tiny and flashes by fast, but it does show that Bakugo, whether he’ll admit it or not, thinks highly of Deku and believes that he could’ve taken on a super villain. It also shows that he probably agrees with Deku and Todoroki about heroics, breaking rules to save others and the like - we saw Iida and Deku disagree on this, etc.

#14. You didn’t help me!”

Chapter 1/Episode 1 “Izuku Midoriya Origin”

What Happens: Bakugo, post sludge villain, is preoccupied with Deku, leaves behind his offers to be a hero and runs after him to remind him, loudly, that he didn’t save him. He slouches off like the good Tsundere he is, and Deku smiles.

Why I Like It: This moment’s visuals and dialogue are so at ends with each other. Basically on Bakugo’s side 1) he ignores all of his offers from pros to brood about Deku 2) he chases after Deku, with a very sweet delivery of his name in the sub, just to tell him that ‘he didn’t help, and 3) Deku actually looks happier after this conversation, no longer brooding and smiling. It’s the weirdest scene, because the dialogue is so angry and derivative, but the body language comes across as sweet and sincere. (Also earlier on, depending on the translation, Kacchan’s friends ask him if he wants to go check out girls, and Bakugo loudly protests against this idea, after having brooded about Deku the entire walk home. Guess he’d rather be thinking about Deku.)

#13. “Don’t compliment me!”

From: Chapter 194/Joint Training Arc

What Happens: Deku sees Bakugo’s new winter costume and starts fanboy-ing over it so much that Bakugo tells him to stop, chewing on his speech balloon.

Why I Like It: As I pointed out in an earlier post, this is another romance trope they check off (dismissing a complement). But moreover, it’s Bakugo seeing Deku watching him, asking what’s up, and Deku openly gushing about how awesome he thinks he is. Uraraka, pay more attention - Hatsume’s not the one you should be punching yourself in the face for jealousy towards. (In all seriousness, this moment is so cute. Deku’s so openly admiring)

#12. “No point if I can’t do better than Deku!”

Episode 2.12/Chapter 43 “Bakugo vs Todoroki”

What Happens: Bakugo, during his fight with Todoroki, loudly proclaims that he won’t accept a win unless he can stand up to the same thing Deku stood up to. Deku even cheers Todoroki on in a way that makes Bakugo smile, because he wants to win right. When Todoroki doesn’t give him that he flies into an unstoppable rage.

Why I Like It: Bakugo’s fixation on Midoriya just dominates this arc, even in Todobaku/Tododeku scenes like this one. Bakugo pitches a fit when his childhood friend is brought up (in a scene that can be easily parodied into “It’s not like I like that idiot baka” territory), and demands that he be given the same fight that Deku faced. He has to be as good as Deku, basically, or else he’ll be left behind and he knows it.

#11. “Because you’re amazing”

Episodes 6-7 Battle trial Arc Deku vs Kacchan

What Happens: Deku and Kacchan fight in the Battle Trial Arc. They both go all out and Bakugo freaks out about Deku holding back. Deku calls him an idiot and says he wants to beat him because he’s amazing. All Might notices his passion. Deku passes out and Bakugo’s anxiety fit starts.

Why I Like It: Never let it be said that Deku can’t “Idiot Baka” too. This is one of their darkest, most intense scenes, but woven into it is their future, more positive bond. Deku ignores teamwork with Uraraka and takes Kacchan on. Bakugo is upset that Deku wasn’t honest with him. Deku feels guilty about that. Deku tells him he’s amazing and that’s why he wants to beat him. Fighting Kacchan gives Deku the strength to go beyond.

#10. Sitting Together

Chapter 2-3, Episode 3 “Roaring Muscles”

What Happens: After a snippy exchange, Deku and Kacchan sit together at the entrance Exam. When they’re handed out their assignments, Deku notes “They’re splitting us up so we won’t work with any of our friends.”

Why I Like It: While they tsun-tsun a lot in this scene, even in Chapter/episode freaking 3 Deku and Kacchan thought of each other as friends. They say it, right there. They sit together voluntarily. They commentate on what’s going on. BK’s dialogue in the manga is less confrontational than the anime. + Bakugo and Uraraka walk in in the same pose, and Deku compares saving her to saving Bakugo. Deku gets 0 villain points, Kacchan 0 rescue points, to hit home how they’re two sides of the same coin. Chapter/episode freaking 3.

#9. “Arrogance? No…”

From: 2.02 Roaring Sports Festival

What Happens: Bakugo gives the Pledge of I will Win. Everyone thinks he’s being an ass except Deku, who thinks that he’s intentionally making things hard for himself. Kacchan bumps into Deku afterwards, with a challenging intent in his eyes.

Why I Like It: Nobody understand Bakugo quite like Deku. While he often slips up in how he handles the Lord of Explosion murder, (early on), Deku definitely gets him. (“You’re a piece of work, but I get it.”) He sees straight through his facade here and is the only person we hear giving him the benefit of the doubt. Bakugo for his part also makes sure to let Deku know that he’s still his #1 rival. (Also: Jealous Kacchan in the Locker Room when Todoroki challenges Deku. Just in case you thought him challenging Shoto wasn’t about Deku.)

#8. “Don’t lose, All Might!”

From: 3.11 “One For All”

What Happens: Watching All Might’s final fall on TV, a panicking Deku and Kacchan shout out in unison their cheer for him to do his best, not to lose. We got some sweet Horikoshi sketches in the manga when this ep aired of D&K as the heirs of AM.

Why I Like It: Deku and Kacchan disagree on a lot, but they both love/worship All Might. They’re set up as his two heirs, the heroes who will take up his legacy, and in this moment they yell out in sync, cheering him on (standing together voluntarily). It’s super emotional, but just a quick reminder in this big payoff episode that BKDK is alive and well.

#7. “What do they want with Kacchan?”

From: 3.04-3.07 Training Camp Arc

What Happens: Deku, while fighting Muscular, learns that Kacchan is in danger. As the fight goes on he goes more and more into BKG territory. This powers him up for 1 million% and throughout the rest of the arc.

Why I Like It: While this moment is mostly about Kota (the kid we specifically compared to Kacchan earlier), it’s also important how pumped up Deku is on the need to rescue Kacchan throughout this arc. Like, all he has to do is hear his name in the context of threatening and he goes bananas, more so than for anyone else. 1 million% OFA is Deku’s saving urge + Winning urge fused together.

#6. “Thanks for the idea, Kacchan!”

From: 2.03 “In their Own Quirky Ways”

What Happens: Deku, taking inspiration from Kacchan’s quirk, comes up with a plan to win the Obstacle Course race.

Why I Like It: One of my favorite Deku moments ever, where he goes bananas and wins it all. Deku’s first and biggest #1 win in the series so far, and who does he have to thank for it? The inspiration he takes from Kacchan. It even seems like he gets his second wind here once he hears Bakugo’s voice and falls, upside down in profile, towards Kacchan. We intentionally have him cute Todoroki out of the frame here, just in case you missed who he’s thinking of. And Deku wins, all because of Kacchan.

#5. “Just like Kacchan then!”

From: 1.10 “Encounter with the Unknown”

What Happens: Deku, trapped with Tsuyu and Mineta by villains, tries to think of a way out of their situation. He thinks to himself “what would Kacchan do” or “act like Kacchan”, and succeeds in beating up the villains.

Why I Like It: “What would x do” is a phrase the series likes to throw around its couples (Izu/ocha, todomomo; Iida’s is more platonic because he also lists his brother). And here’s Deku saying it about Kacchan. Finding once again the strength to win due to thinking of the symbol of Victory. It’s nice that the inspiration isn’t one-sided either, as Bakugo seems to have adopted Deku’s rescue policy later on. Love these two.

#4. The Hideout Raid

From: 3.08-3.10 ‘From Iida to Midoriya’/‘All for One’/‘Symbol of Peace”

What Happens: Deku goes against his own safety to save Kacchan from the LOV. He freaks out when AFO shows up but regains focus when he hears Kacchan’s voice. He comes up with a plan that relies on who Kacchan is as a person, and successfully saves him.

Why I Like It: Take note, Naruto, on how to properly retrieve your rival: #1. Go against the authorities’ wishes to get him back, not on their orders. #2. Consider your rival’s wishes and friends, and #3. Don’t force it. In all seriousness, my favorite part of this is Deku regaining focus when Kacchan turns up. He was panicking and experiencing death dreams, but one word out of Kacchan’s mouth and he’s back on task.

#3. “Just watch me, Deku”

From: Chapter 206-7, Joint Training Arc

What Happens: Bakugo, going into his training test, mentally asks Deku to watch him. Watch him Deku does, as he shows off his new teamwork and rescue skills and wins the day. They share some light banter afterwards.

Why I Like It: So much. Sexy Sestuna Tokage on one side, demanding attention, while BK & DK only have eyes for each other. Deku watching Kacchan. Kacchan demanding Deku watch him. Kacchan saving to win, as Deku must win to save. Their light challenging banter afterward, All Might calling Kacchan a “good friend”. (All Might stop shipping them, they’re not best friends yet!) Like if you want to see how BK benefits from Deku, outside of having someone he can cry in front of, here it is. Deku makes him a better person. And he wants Deku to see that he’s a better person now.

#2. “He lit a fire under me”

From: Joint Training Arc Chapters 208-216

What Happens: Deku gets hyped for his match because Kacchan “lit a fire under him”. He wins his fight despite his power freak out, and we get lots of worried Kacchan shots during and after the battle, just as we got Deku shots during his.

Why I Like It: The other side of the coin: Deku wants to win thanks to Bakugo. He’s ready and raring to go, smiling and optimistic. Their teams both win, all to 0, because of this (the only teams to do so). + Bakugo looking concerned for Deku when his powers go out of control like the good BF he is. I’ve talked about the big BKDK moments in this arc before, but these subtler ones are just as powerful

Extras:

-Winning the Tokyo Tower Contest

-Bakugo cheering for and smiling when Deku (and All Might) win in the movie.

-Filler Pool ep where Bakugo makes sure to remind us he’s Deku’s rival, in case we forgot.

-Omake and various incidents where Uraraka calls them “fated enemies” and roots for them to reconcile. (does she want an OT3?)

-Mothra!Deku and Godzilla!Kacchan (queen and king of horror cinema)

-A few bNHA Smash shenanigans:

Baby Kacchan’s crush on Deku

Vanilla ice cream mixup

Bishonen Bakugo being all kinds bi

Deku blowing off their OFA date

Fanboy stalker Deku

-The Couch stuff

-Pop poll 4: Holding the two halves of AM’s sword

#1. “I’m headed for the top, why should I care?”

From: 2.02 “Roaring Sports Festival”

What Happens: Deku is feeling unmotivated to do well in the Sports Fest, until he overhears Bakugo stating that he’s headed for the top and that’s all that matters. This finally gets him psyched to go and motivated.

Why I Like It: Why’s this #1? Well partly because it’s the biggest oversight from the last list, but also because it’s so subtlely important. Deku doesn’t get hyped to do well in the Sports Fest, that very definitive story arc, until he hears Bakugo’s resolution and how dedicated he is. It’s Bakugo’s words that motivate him to go forward and beyond here, just as he so often does. This is what causes hime to do well in the fest and acknowledge how important Iida and Uraraka’s motives are too, and yell at Todoroki for holding back, and in doing so change the course of so many stories. Yes, most of that is Deku’s own strengths shining - but the best kinds of relationships are the ones that make each partner better through being together than apart, aren’t they?

#my hero academia #katsudeku #bakudeku #bkdk #katsuki bakugou #izuku midoriya #bakugou x midoriya #izuku x katsuki #ships #otp #top 10 #top 10 moments #katsudeku meta #izukatsu

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sol1056 · 6 years

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season release & demographics

Alright, I’ve gotten several asks about the speed of the upcoming season releases for DW/Netflix. Most asks amount to roughly

are they releasing that fast because they want it over, or because more stuff is coming?

...with at least two asks attempting to make sideways snarky comments about the revelation of a canonically gay character.

Behind the cut: some stats on how DW groups and broadcasts its series, some data-based theories on VLD’s scheduling, who the ‘real’ audience demographic is, and some speculation about show timing independent of VLD itself.

how DW groups and broadcasts its series

First thing I should note is that dropping a chunk of episodes at once onto Netflix is relatively new for DW, compared to their years of traditional weekly syndicated format on Nick, CN, etc. (You can find a list of all past and present television productions here.) Starting around 2014, their Netflix/DW works were mostly the usual children’s fare -- episodic shows made for syndication.

Two shows changed this game: VLD and Trollhunters, both premiering in 2016. Each contain one continuous arc, requiring viewing in order, from the start. Unfortunately that means the only real comparison is Trollhunters, which had a 12-month gap between S1 and S2, and a 5-month gap from S2 to S3. Just before the final season broadcast, DW announced two sequels, which brings TH’s total ep count to 78. Remember that timing; it’ll be important in a bit.

Looking across even the episodic younger-set stories, it does seem like releases try to stick to a general pattern, give or take a month. Across 8 multi-season shows, here’s the breakdown of cours (because you know I had to throw a visual in somewhere). A single cour is 11-14 episodes, 5-7 eps is a half-cour, with 26 being a double-cour. (One series released a 16-ep season, which I counted as a single cour.)

I point this out just to make clear that half-cour drops are actually rather common, comparatively. Out of 31 episodes, 11 were half-cour. As for the length between seasons, the mode (most common) is 7 mos.

some theories on VLD’s scheduling

Now let’s look at the gaps between VLD’s seasons: 7, 7, 2, 5, 3, 2 (counting the upcoming release for S7). If we merge the half-cour seasons for comparison (so we’re dealing with consistent 13-episode seasons again), then we’ll posit the broadcast date would’ve been the date the 2nd half of the season aired. In other words, had we gotten the original S3 (now S3/S4) season as one, it would’ve aired on S4′s broadcast date, as one solid chunk.

With the consistent pattern of S1 through S3′s data, that’s a 7-month break between seasons. Assuming that this would’ve originally been set as the scheduled dates, let’s compare those dates to the actual broadcast dates.

scheduled Jun 2016 ==> aired Jun 2016

scheduled Jan 2017 ==> aired Jan 2017

scheduled Aug 2017 ==> aired Aug + Oct 2017

scheduled Mar 2018 ==> aired Mar + Jun 2018

scheduled Oct 2018 ==> aired Aug 2018

scheduled May 2019 ==> aired ???

Yes, I’m aware DW spun the split-seasons as getting more episodes, sooner. It’s the reverse. We should’ve gotten all of S3 in August, but S3 was completed 2 months late. Same for S4, which we should’ve gotten in March, but compared to the original schedule, S4 was 3 months late. S7 (the original S5) is the first time we’re getting anything ahead of schedule, 2 months earlier.

If we go by the usual pattern of 7 mos gaps -- and counting from the actual broadcast date of Aug 2018, that would put the concluding 13-ep drop at May 2019. However, at least two other series have dropped their final seasons with a much smaller gap: from 8 down to 3, 12 down to 5.

Which means that dropping S8 (the original S6) in December would be a gap of 4 months from S7′s broadcast, or alternately, a 2 month gap from the original schedule. That’s pretty dramatic, compared to half the time, which would’ve put us at March of 2019.

why the last season comes so fast

When Dawn of the Croods dropped its final season, it came with the announcement that this would be its last. When Trollhunters dropped its final season, it simultaneously announced that two sequels were in the works. And check this out, with hat-tip to @ptw30 for the sharp eyes:

Voltron’s got a film in development, and it’s under the aegis of the Dreamworks Animation team. (Oddly, that ‘S’ notation comes with a note saying the film will combine live-action with animation. I have no idea whether that means rotoscoping or actual live-action with lots of CGI.)

My guess is that on, around, or shortly after the final season of VLD drops, we’ll get an announcement about the upcoming film that will attempt to build on the series. That’s a matter of timing, though, so it’s just my guess (and things can change).

the ‘real’ audience demographic

When asks make comments about VLD being unsatisfactory to the ‘primary demographic’ (and doubly so now that we’re talking about a canonically gay character, cue asshat-sounding commentary about gay hookups)... the assumption is almost always that the primary demographic is men. Probably men aged 18-30.

Wrong. It’s women. Specifically women between 25 to over 50.

But since this is supposedly a for-kids show, let’s start with appealing to families. There are 73.7 million children under 18, and 69% of them are in two-family households. 23% of those children live in single-mother households. (The largest growing family demographic is gay families. Go ahead, explain to me why a kid watching television shouldn’t see a role model in a relationship like their parents have.)

Guess who does the majority of the buying choices for families? Women.

A few facts about women as a market, in the US: the estimated purchasing power of US women ranges from $5 trillion to $15 trillion annually. Women control more than 60% of all personal wealth in the U.S., and 75% are the primary shoppers for their families. Women are buying 66% of all tech purchases, 65% of all car purchases, 89% of all bank accounts opened, 93% of all food purchased, and 92% of all vacation expenditures.

Oh, and while I’m at it:

45% of all gamers are women.

Women over 55 spend more time gaming online than men aged 15-24.

Also, millennial women (roughly early 20s to mid 30s) have 3.4 social media accounts on average, compared to 2.6 for GenX women; 61% of them are online and sharing content at least once a day. However, Gen-X women spend more time onine (7+ hrs/week) than Millennial women (6hrs/week). And then there’s Boomer women --- of the age to have seen Voltron when it first aired --- with a market share of $19 trillion. They tend to spend, on average, 250% more than any other bracket -- which is pretty phenomenal buying power when you consider that every fifth adult in the US is a woman over 50.

A show pays for itself with merchandise and toys --- and if you can swing the women’s market, you’ve got it made, ‘cause they’re ones doing the buying. That means appealing to mothers who make the vast majority of their household’s purchases, or women up to and including the over-50 gamer pop-culture-savvy women with spare income (who are also the fasting growing online demographic, while we’re at it).

So, miss me with that 'primary demographic’ crap. If it doesn’t appeal to boys but appeals to women 25-50+, it’ll do fine. The reverse --- of appealing to boys but not to women --- is a visual media that’ll be lucky to break even. DW hasn’t made it this far by alienating the ones who are making the purchases. If they realized that Shiro appeals most to women aged 25 to 50+ (which he does; he’s that age bracket’s favorite character) then you damn well better believe they’re going to keep him front and center.

why else dreamworks might be wrapping up

There are other factors in play. In 2013, DW partnered with Netflix for the first time, and since then it’s produced 16 series for Netflix. Only two series were exempt, one broadcast in France, the other on Amazon video.

Of the 9 series currently in pre-production, 4 will be on Netflix (She-Ra, 3 Below, Wizards, and Fast & Furious). The remainder are broken up between Amazon, cable TV, Universal, and two most recent that don’t even have homes, yet. Dreamworks is moving out of Netflix, excepting the pre-existing contracts they can’t quite break.

This is the result of net neutrality, to be perfectly blunt.

Check out who owns whom, here. (Larger version at recode.net.)

Comcast owns Dreamworks, and a 30% stake in Hulu -- of which Netflix is a direct competitor. I’m on AT&T and already noticing throttling happening for Netflix, and at some points for Tumblr (Verizon-owned). Scuttlebutt says DW is going to be pushed into moving its content onto Hulu, to support its parent company’s business agenda.

*** ETA: there is no good business reason (at this time) for DW to switch to Hulu. Netflix’s market share is easily ten times the size of Hulu, and switching will cut DW’s products off from a significant number of viewers. ***

That means DW is probably being strongly encouraged to wrap up its Netflix contracts and start shifting to Comcast-owned or controlled markets. And that has nothing to do with VLD itself, or even how popular (or not) that it’s been on Netflix. It’s a command coming down from on high, and now that we’ve lost net neutrality, there'll be less and less gain from sticking with Netflix.

#vld #voltron #doing the data cronch #analysis #popular media

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alextravelstojapan · 5 years

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Thursday, Nov 22nd, 2018

We woke up and got ready for our day trip to Universal Studios Japan. Then we went our in search of breakfast and were surprisingly unsuccessful until we saw a sign for Viede la France that was on the 11th floor of the station. We got some bread and some nice coffee and then caught the bus to Universal. It was a pretty short bus ride and we arrived right at the site. Well first was a long strip of all of the restaurants and souvenir shops that you can go into free of charge. And we were trying to meet Meda, Kevin, and Therese that were also staying in Oosaka for the weekend so we stood by a Lawson’s for a little while Carson connected to the WiFi and tried to contact them through FB messanger. They actually came to USJ very shortly after us so it didn’t take us long to see them also standing near to Lawson’s.

We walked all together to the studio entrance and when I saw the 7900¥ price my heart hurt a little bit and I was having second thoughts but I bought a ticket anyways. When we got into the park our first stop was the bathroom and then we did some loose planning about what we should do first. Well since we all wanted to go to the Harry Potter world we decided that should be our first adventure. I bought some butter beer for 600¥ which was yet another purchase that made my heart hurt a little. After I bought it, I set it on a ledge nearby while I got out my camera and Meda hit my cup with her elbow and almost knocked it over but luckily most of the drink remained in the cup. The butter beer was delicious which I already knew, having tried it at the Universal Studios in Florida three or four years ago. We walked around for a short while before stopping to take some pictures of the castle. The line for the castle ride was about 110 minutes so we were all like hell no but went into the line anyways. We opted for the castle walk instead of the ride which was no wait and really cool to me because I didn’t go into the castle at US Florida.

Dru, Kevin, and I decided to go check out the other parks while Meda, Therese, and Carson stayed behind to scope around for some souvenirs. Dru, Kevin, and I wandered into Jurassic Park which was kind of a let down because there were no dinosaurs. All three of us were checking out the food options as we walked because even though everything looked good, it was also all ridiculously priced. I was in a sour mood for pretty much the whole day because I didn’t feel the money I had spent was worth the experience. And even though I was trying hard to stay positive, it was difficult for me because I wanted to buy things but couldn’t rationalize spending that kind of money, nor could I rationalize standing in a line with over an hour’s wait just to be on a ride for 1 minute. So that’s why I don’t like theme parks and don’t plan on going back to one for at least another 5 years.

Because Jurassic Park didn’t have much to offer us besides long lines for rides and overpriced food, instead we waited for the rest of our friends for quite a while outside of Jurassic Park. In the meantime, I got crabby brooding over my quickly emptying wallet and my hungry stomach. So I ended up saying to hell with it and got in line to buy a 500¥ churro. While in line I started to doubt whether it was going to be a good purchase, and unfortunately it wasn’t, which made me even more frustrated. It was also at this point that my feet started hurting so I was just not having a very good day. Yeah I guess I should’ve warned you earlier on but this post is basically just full of complaints lol.

Anyways after we had all met up again, we walked over to the area designed for little kids which had Snoopy, Hello-Kitty, and Sesame Street themed parts. We accidentally got split up and then met up again while waiting in line for a Snoopy ride. The ride was one of those ones that has a cart for two people extending from a connection point in the middle. So all of the two-person carts are positioned in a circle but have different attachements to the center so that each cart can independently move up and down vertically as the center point spins clockwise. I think I took a picture of the ride so if my description is lacking that should help give a visual of what I’m talking about. Anyways, even though this ride was designed for kids it totally made my stomach drop a few times as we moved up and then down. It was fun and I was happy we got to finally go on a ride. Then we entered into this large building that was also Snoopy themed and got in line for another ride. This one was a regular rollercoaster and was only a 30 second ride so it was a short distance and really fast but a lot of fun.

Next we walked around and eventually made our way to the minion-themed area. I said I hated minions right before we entered the park but after walking around for a little while they started to grow on me lol. I’ve seen a lot of people dressed up in minion costumes too so they’re really popular and I never really got why until Dru said that she also came to like minions because they’re always happy and just wanna have fun. We then walked to this place where an original short-film about Shark was showing, mainly because Kevin really wanted to see it. We didn’t wait in line for that long but we were ushered inside this small room and had to stand for what seemed like forever while these two ladies just talked in Japanese to kill some time and I about screamed. That seems a little extreme but I just really wanted to sit down because my back and feet were hurting me. Then this weird short clip that I couldn’t understand played as we stood there. I was so happy when some doors opened and we were finally seated in a large theatre. The movie wasn’t very good but it was an interesting experience because the chairs would move along to when the characters were doing things like riding on a horse or jumping and landing on a something. And then water would be sprayed from these mist machines when Donkey spit or someone was splashed by water. And air was released from some openings near our heads and legs when a character was launched into the air. I felt a lot better after sitting down for a while but we left USJ shortly after that anyways.

We got dinner in the free-admission area outside USJ at Mos Burger which is just a fast food place and I was yet again disappointed with another purchase :/ But after that, Dru, Carson, Kevin, and I went into a souvenir shop and I bought a little octopus stuffed animal for 900¥ which was a great purchase in my opinion 😁 He looks exactly like the octopus emoji 🐙 Octopus in Japanese is tako and so I call him Tako-chan or Taquito.

Carson, Dru, and I then returned to our condo and I took a little nap, during which, Mike had left a note on our door telling us to stop by for a chat when we can. We had told Kevin, Meda, and Therese to meet us in Oosaka station at 6:30pm but our talk with Mike and Hitomi ended up making us not leave the apartments until about 6:45. We got to Oosaka station about 30 minutes late but I only Kevin was waiting in the agreed upon spot because navigating around Oosaka station proved to be much harder than expected. We eventually found Therese and Meda, and afterwards we decided to walk around the area and look for a place to get drinks. We went to the same area that Mike had shown Carson, Dru, and I the night before because the alley ways had been lined with bars and karaoke places. We wanted to do karaoke but knew that drinks there would be over priced so we searched for a long time before we could all decide which bar we should go into. We ended up choosing this strange place that had very eccentric employees and games like billiards, darts, Mario kart, one karaoke room, and that golf game where you hit the ball against a screen onto which the course is projected. I was disappointed when I discovered that we had to pay a cover but none of the games were free but why I should have learned by now that nothing in this capitalistic world is free -.- The drinks were also expensive and I was convinced that all of the mixed drinks would not be very strong so after we ordered a round of mystery shots, I ordered myself a glass of straight tequila. I ended up paying like 1700¥ for everything so it might have been better to just get drinks at the karaoke place.

We left the bar after a short while and then went to the convenience store next door to buy some more drinks before we went to the karaoke place. I got an Asahi beer and hid it in my backpack until we were safe in our karaoke room. We sang for an hour and it was a lot of fun! Karaoke should be more popular in the US. I would definitely love to go again but I don’t think I will have the chance to :c After that, Carson, Dru, and I returned to our apartment and Kevin tagged along to see our place. He left after a little bit to catch the last train and then we all had some much needed sleep.

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noithatotoaz · 3 years

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Winning the Page Speed Race: How to Turn Your Clunker of a Website Into a Race Car

A brief history of Google’s mission to make the web faster

In 2009, by issuing a call to arms to “make the web faster”, Google set out on a mission to try and persuade website owners to make their sites load more quickly.

In order to entice website owners into actually caring about this, in 2010 Google announced that site speed would become a factor in its desktop (non-mobile) search engine ranking algorithms. This meant that sites that loaded quickly would have an SEO advantage over other websites.

Six years later, in 2015, Google announced that the number of searches performed on mobile exceeded those performed on desktop computers. That percentage continues to increase. The latest published statistic says that, as of 2019, 61% of searches performed on Google were from mobile devices.

Mobile’s now-dominant role in search led Google to develop its “Accelerated Mobile Pages” (AMP) project. This initiative is aimed at encouraging website owners to create what is essentially another mobile theme, on top of their responsive mobile theme, that complies with a very strict set of development and performance guidelines.

Although many site owners and SEOs complain about having to tend to page speed and AMP on top of the other 200+ ranking factors that already give them headaches, page speed is indeed a worthy effort for site owners to focus on. In 2017, Google conducted a study where the results very much justified their focus on making the web faster. They found that “As page load time goes from one second to 10 seconds, the probability of a mobile site visitor bouncing increases 123%.”

In July of 2018, page speed became a ranking factor for mobile searches, and today Google will incorporate even more speed-related factors (called Core Web Vitals) in its ranking algorithms.

With the average human attention span decreasing all the time, and our reliance on our mobile devices growing consistently, there’s no question that page speed is, and will continue to be, an incredibly important thing for website owners to tend to.

How to optimize a website for speed

Think like a race car driver

Winning the page speed race requires the same things as winning a car race. To win a race in a car, you make sure that your vehicle is as lightweight as possible, as powerful as possible, and you navigate the racetrack as efficiently as possible.

I’ll use this analogy to try to make page speed optimization techniques a bit more understandable.

Make it lightweight

These days, websites are more beautiful and functional than ever before — but that also means they are bigger than ever. Most modern websites are the equivalent of a party bus or a limo. They’re super fancy, loaded with all sorts of amenities, and therefore HEAVY and SLOW. In the search engine “racetrack,” you will not win with a party bus or a limo. You’ll look cool, but you’ll lose.

Image source: A GTMetrix test results page

To win the page speed race, you need a proper racing vehicle, which is lightweight. Race cars don’t have radios, cupholders, glove boxes, or really anything at all that isn’t absolutely necessary. Similarly, your website shouldn’t be loaded up with elaborate animations, video backgrounds, enormous images, fancy widgets, excessive plugins, or anything else at all that isn’t absolutely necessary.

In addition to decluttering your site of unnecessary fanciness and excessive plugins, you can also shed website weight by:

Reducing the number of third-party scripts (code snippets that send or receive data from other websites)

Switching to a lighter-weight (less code-heavy) theme and reducing the number of fonts used

Implementing AMP

Optimizing images

Compressing and minifying code

Performing regular database optimizations

On an open-source content management system like WordPress, speed plugins are available that can make a lot of these tasks much easier. WP Rocket and Imagify are two WordPress plugins that can be used together to significantly lighten your website’s weight via image optimization, compression, minification, and a variety of other page speed best practices.

Give it more power

You wouldn’t put a golf cart engine in a race car, so why would you put your website on a dirt-cheap, shared hosting plan? You may find it painful to pay more than a few dollars per month on hosting if you’ve been on one of those plans for a long time, but again, golf cart versus race car engine: do you want to win this race or not?

Traditional shared hosting plans cram tens of thousands of websites onto a single server. This leaves each individual site starved for computing power.

If you want to race in the big leagues, it’s time to get a grown-up hosting plan. For WordPress sites, managed hosting companies such as WP Engine and Flywheel utilize servers that are powerful and specifically tuned to serve up WordPress sites faster.

If managed WordPress hosting isn’t your thing, or if you don’t have a WordPress site, upgrading to a VPS (Virtual Private Server) will result in your website having way more computing resources available to it. You’ll also have more control over your own hosting environment, allowing you to “tune-up your engine” with things like the latest versions of PHP, MySQL, Varnish caching, and other modern web server technologies. You’ll no longer be at the mercy of your shared hosting company’s greed as they stuff more and more websites onto your already-taxed server.

In short, putting your website on a well-tuned hosting environment can be like putting a supercharger on your race car.

Drive it better

Last, but certainly not least, a lightweight and powerful race car can only go so fast without a trained driver who knows how to navigate the course efficiently.

The “navigate the course” part of this analogy refers to the process of a web browser loading a webpage. Each element of a website is another twist or turn for the browser to navigate as it travels through the code and processes the output of the page.

I’ll switch analogies momentarily to try to explain this more clearly. When remodeling a house, you paint the rooms first before redoing the floors. If you redid the floors first and then painted the rooms, the new floors would get paint on them and you’d have to go back and tend to the floors again later.

When a browser loads a webpage, it goes through a process called (coincidentally) “painting.” Each page is “painted” as the browser receives bits of data from the webpage’s source code. This painting process can either be executed efficiently (i.e. painting walls before refinishing floors), or it can be done in a more chaotic out-of-order fashion that requires several trips back to the beginning of the process to redo or fix or add something that could’ve/should’ve been done earlier in the process.

Image source: WebPageTest.org Test Result (Filmstrip View)

Here’s where things can get technical, but it’s important to do whatever you can to help your site drive the “track” more efficiently.

Caching is a concept that every website should have in place to make loading a webpage easier on the browser. It already takes long enough for a browser to process all of a page’s source code and paint it out visually to the user, so you might as well have that source code ready to go on the server. By default, without caching, that’s not the case.

Without caching, the website’s CMS and the server can still be working on generating the webpage’s source code while the browser is waiting to paint the page. This can cause the browser to have to pause and wait for more code to come from the server. With caching, the source code of a page is pre-compiled on the server so that it’s totally ready to be sent to the browser in full in one shot. Think of it like a photocopier having plenty of copies of a document already produced and ready to be handed out, instead of making a copy on demand each time someone asks for one.

Various types and levels of caching can be achieved through plugins, your hosting company, and/or via a CDN (Content Delivery Network). CDNs not only provide caching, but they also host copies of the pre-generated website code on a variety of servers across the world, reducing the impact of physical distance between the server and the user on the load time. (And yes, the internet is actually made up of physical servers that have to talk to each other over physical distances. The web is not actually a “cloud” in that sense.)

Getting back to our race car analogy, utilizing caching and a CDN equals a much faster trip around the racetrack.

Those are two of the basic building blocks of efficient page painting, but there are even more techniques that can be employed as well. On WordPress, the following can be implemented via a plugin or plugins (again, WP Rocket and Imagify are a particularly good combo for achieving a lot of this):

Asynchronous and/or deferred loading of scripts. This is basically a fancy way of referring to loading multiple things at the same time or waiting until later to load things that aren’t needed right away.

Preloading and prefetching. Basically, retrieving data about links in advance instead of waiting for the user to click on them.

Lazy loading. Ironic term being that this concept exists for page speed purposes, but by default, most browsers load ALL images on a page, even those that are out of sight until a user scrolls down to them. Implementing lazy loading means telling the browser to be lazy and wait on loading those out-of-sight images until the user actually scrolls there.

Serving images in next-gen formats. New image formats such as WebP can be loaded much faster by browsers than the old-fashioned JPEG and PNG formats. But it’s important to note that not all browsers can support these new formats just yet — so be sure to use a plugin that can serve up the next-gen versions to browsers that support them, but provide the old versions to browsers that don’t. WP Rocket, when paired with Imagify, can achieve this.

Image source: WP Rocket plugin settings

Optimize for Core Web Vitals

Lastly, optimizing for the new Core Web Vital metrics (Largest Contentful Paint, First Input Delay, and Cumulative Layout Shift) can make for a much more efficient trip around the racetrack as well.

Image source

These are pretty technical concepts, but here’s a quick overview to get you familiar with what they mean:

Largest Contentful Paint (LCP) refers to the painting of the largest element on the page. Google’s PageSpeed Insights tool will tell you which element is considered to be the LCP element of a page. A lot of times this is a hero image or large slider area, but it varies from page to page, so run the tool to identify the LCP in your page and then think about what you can do to make that particular element load faster.

First Input Delay (FID) is the delay between the user’s first action and the browser’s ability to respond to it. An example of an FID issue would be a button that is visible to a user sooner than it becomes clickable. The delay would be caused by the click functionality loading notably later than the button itself.

Cumulative Layout Shift (CLS) is a set of three big words that refer to one simple concept. You know when you’re loading up a webpage on your phone and you go to click on something or read something but then it hops up or down because something else loaded above it or below it? That movement is CLS, it’s majorly annoying, and it’s a byproduct of inefficient page painting.

In conclusion, race car > golf cart

Page speed optimization is certainly complex and confusing, but it’s an essential component to achieve better rankings. As a website owner, you’re in this race whether you like it or not — so you might as well do what you can to make your website a race car instead of a golf cart!

0 notes

thanhtuandoan89 · 3 years

Text

Winning the Page Speed Race: How to Turn Your Clunker of a Website Into a Race Car

A brief history of Google’s mission to make the web faster

In 2009, by issuing a call to arms to “make the web faster”, Google set out on a mission to try and persuade website owners to make their sites load more quickly.

In July of 2018, page speed became a ranking factor for mobile searches, and today Google will incorporate even more speed-related factors (called Core Web Vitals) in its ranking algorithms.

How to optimize a website for speed

Think like a race car driver

I’ll use this analogy to try to make page speed optimization techniques a bit more understandable.

Make it lightweight

Image source: A GTMetrix test results page

In addition to decluttering your site of unnecessary fanciness and excessive plugins, you can also shed website weight by:

Reducing the number of third-party scripts (code snippets that send or receive data from other websites)

Switching to a lighter-weight (less code-heavy) theme and reducing the number of fonts used

Implementing AMP

Optimizing images

Compressing and minifying code

Performing regular database optimizations

Give it more power

Traditional shared hosting plans cram tens of thousands of websites onto a single server. This leaves each individual site starved for computing power.

In short, putting your website on a well-tuned hosting environment can be like putting a supercharger on your race car.

Drive it better

Last, but certainly not least, a lightweight and powerful race car can only go so fast without a trained driver who knows how to navigate the course efficiently.

Image source: WebPageTest.org Test Result (Filmstrip View)

Here’s where things can get technical, but it’s important to do whatever you can to help your site drive the “track” more efficiently.

Getting back to our race car analogy, utilizing caching and a CDN equals a much faster trip around the racetrack.

Preloading and prefetching. Basically, retrieving data about links in advance instead of waiting for the user to click on them.

Image source: WP Rocket plugin settings

Optimize for Core Web Vitals

Lastly, optimizing for the new Core Web Vital metrics (Largest Contentful Paint, First Input Delay, and Cumulative Layout Shift) can make for a much more efficient trip around the racetrack as well.

Image source

These are pretty technical concepts, but here’s a quick overview to get you familiar with what they mean:

In conclusion, race car > golf cart

0 notes

drummcarpentry · 3 years

Text

Winning the Page Speed Race: How to Turn Your Clunker of a Website Into a Race Car

A brief history of Google’s mission to make the web faster

In 2009, by issuing a call to arms to “make the web faster”, Google set out on a mission to try and persuade website owners to make their sites load more quickly.

In July of 2018, page speed became a ranking factor for mobile searches, and today Google will incorporate even more speed-related factors (called Core Web Vitals) in its ranking algorithms.

How to optimize a website for speed

Think like a race car driver

I’ll use this analogy to try to make page speed optimization techniques a bit more understandable.

Make it lightweight

Image source: A GTMetrix test results page

In addition to decluttering your site of unnecessary fanciness and excessive plugins, you can also shed website weight by:

Reducing the number of third-party scripts (code snippets that send or receive data from other websites)

Switching to a lighter-weight (less code-heavy) theme and reducing the number of fonts used

Implementing AMP

Optimizing images

Compressing and minifying code

Performing regular database optimizations

Give it more power

Traditional shared hosting plans cram tens of thousands of websites onto a single server. This leaves each individual site starved for computing power.

In short, putting your website on a well-tuned hosting environment can be like putting a supercharger on your race car.

Drive it better

Last, but certainly not least, a lightweight and powerful race car can only go so fast without a trained driver who knows how to navigate the course efficiently.

Image source: WebPageTest.org Test Result (Filmstrip View)

Here’s where things can get technical, but it’s important to do whatever you can to help your site drive the “track” more efficiently.

Getting back to our race car analogy, utilizing caching and a CDN equals a much faster trip around the racetrack.

Preloading and prefetching. Basically, retrieving data about links in advance instead of waiting for the user to click on them.

Image source: WP Rocket plugin settings

Optimize for Core Web Vitals

Lastly, optimizing for the new Core Web Vital metrics (Largest Contentful Paint, First Input Delay, and Cumulative Layout Shift) can make for a much more efficient trip around the racetrack as well.

Image source

These are pretty technical concepts, but here’s a quick overview to get you familiar with what they mean:

In conclusion, race car > golf cart

0 notes

kjt-lawyers · 3 years

Text

Winning the Page Speed Race: How to Turn Your Clunker of a Website Into a Race Car

A brief history of Google’s mission to make the web faster

In 2009, by issuing a call to arms to “make the web faster”, Google set out on a mission to try and persuade website owners to make their sites load more quickly.

In July of 2018, page speed became a ranking factor for mobile searches, and today Google will incorporate even more speed-related factors (called Core Web Vitals) in its ranking algorithms.

How to optimize a website for speed

Think like a race car driver

I’ll use this analogy to try to make page speed optimization techniques a bit more understandable.

Make it lightweight

Image source: A GTMetrix test results page

In addition to decluttering your site of unnecessary fanciness and excessive plugins, you can also shed website weight by:

Reducing the number of third-party scripts (code snippets that send or receive data from other websites)

Switching to a lighter-weight (less code-heavy) theme and reducing the number of fonts used

Implementing AMP

Optimizing images

Compressing and minifying code

Performing regular database optimizations

Give it more power

Traditional shared hosting plans cram tens of thousands of websites onto a single server. This leaves each individual site starved for computing power.

In short, putting your website on a well-tuned hosting environment can be like putting a supercharger on your race car.

Drive it better

Last, but certainly not least, a lightweight and powerful race car can only go so fast without a trained driver who knows how to navigate the course efficiently.

Image source: WebPageTest.org Test Result (Filmstrip View)

Here’s where things can get technical, but it’s important to do whatever you can to help your site drive the “track” more efficiently.

Getting back to our race car analogy, utilizing caching and a CDN equals a much faster trip around the racetrack.

Preloading and prefetching. Basically, retrieving data about links in advance instead of waiting for the user to click on them.

Image source: WP Rocket plugin settings

Optimize for Core Web Vitals

Lastly, optimizing for the new Core Web Vital metrics (Largest Contentful Paint, First Input Delay, and Cumulative Layout Shift) can make for a much more efficient trip around the racetrack as well.

Image source

These are pretty technical concepts, but here’s a quick overview to get you familiar with what they mean:

In conclusion, race car > golf cart

0 notes

xaydungtruonggia · 3 years

Text

Winning the Page Speed Race: How to Turn Your Clunker of a Website Into a Race Car

A brief history of Google’s mission to make the web faster

In 2009, by issuing a call to arms to “make the web faster”, Google set out on a mission to try and persuade website owners to make their sites load more quickly.

In July of 2018, page speed became a ranking factor for mobile searches, and today Google will incorporate even more speed-related factors (called Core Web Vitals) in its ranking algorithms.

How to optimize a website for speed

Think like a race car driver

I’ll use this analogy to try to make page speed optimization techniques a bit more understandable.

Make it lightweight

Image source: A GTMetrix test results page

In addition to decluttering your site of unnecessary fanciness and excessive plugins, you can also shed website weight by:

Reducing the number of third-party scripts (code snippets that send or receive data from other websites)

Switching to a lighter-weight (less code-heavy) theme and reducing the number of fonts used

Implementing AMP

Optimizing images

Compressing and minifying code

Performing regular database optimizations

Give it more power

Traditional shared hosting plans cram tens of thousands of websites onto a single server. This leaves each individual site starved for computing power.

In short, putting your website on a well-tuned hosting environment can be like putting a supercharger on your race car.

Drive it better

Last, but certainly not least, a lightweight and powerful race car can only go so fast without a trained driver who knows how to navigate the course efficiently.

Image source: WebPageTest.org Test Result (Filmstrip View)

Here’s where things can get technical, but it’s important to do whatever you can to help your site drive the “track” more efficiently.

Getting back to our race car analogy, utilizing caching and a CDN equals a much faster trip around the racetrack.

Preloading and prefetching. Basically, retrieving data about links in advance instead of waiting for the user to click on them.

Image source: WP Rocket plugin settings

Optimize for Core Web Vitals

Lastly, optimizing for the new Core Web Vital metrics (Largest Contentful Paint, First Input Delay, and Cumulative Layout Shift) can make for a much more efficient trip around the racetrack as well.

Image source

These are pretty technical concepts, but here’s a quick overview to get you familiar with what they mean:

In conclusion, race car > golf cart

0 notes